WRFH/Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM - Wherefore Art Thou, Romeo?: Bad Dating Advice

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

Description: Greg and Emily discuss a list of alleged bad dating advice and whether it is actually bad advice or not. Join them as they discuss what might be good or bad ideas before, on, or after a date.  

Batman doesn't do ships, as in me. You complete me. I'm George, George McFly. I'm your density. It is not about the nail. No matter when, no matter who, any man has a chance to sweep anyone off her feet. You're listening to Where For Art Thou, Romeo? The show that discusses how to navigate romantic relationships

and how to achieve a mean between the extremes of hookup culture and over-discerned dating. Here's your host, Emily Shudy. Welcome to Wherefore Art Thal Romeo, the show where we talk about how to follow your heart without losing your mind. My name is not Emily Shudy, though she's joining me. And my co-host, which is me, is licensed marriage and therapist. And also myself, Greg Shuddy. We're all navigating relationships every day, but sometimes the most intimate are also the

most challenging. Our goal is to help you get out of your own head when it comes to your or even your friend's relationship questions and concerns or something like that. I'm really glad that you're going to be talking to yourself today. I feel like you guys should have some really interesting conversations. Well, hey, if you knew what went on in my head, you would keep you entertained for quite a while. So, I mean, that was pretty good. I I feel like I usually do it better, but it was fine, you know. Well, yeah. I'm trying to read words that are really tiny on my screen here.

Oh, sorry. Yeah. Well, it makes it a little bit harder. Today we thought we'd talk about stupid dating advice. We actually pulled up this article that has seven pieces that they claim, particular pieces of advice that they claim to be stupid dating advice. And we're going to talk about whether we agree and like maybe dive into a little bit of what they're talking about and give some, give some thoughts on that.

But before we get into that, Greg, what do you think is the most valuable gift you could give to your children, specifically as a father? The most valuable gift. And I'm not talking about, oh, sorry, like, not like physical. Hmm. Like, what kind of, you got me, didn't I? Yeah, you had to listen. Presence. I'll say it again.

Presence. Not presents. Okay, that didn't sound well. So we're talking about, like, you being physically there versus, like, a gift of a thing at Christmas. Correct. Okay. Yeah. So many people try and win over their child that they haven't spent a lot of time with, with gifts.

But there's nothing like presents, like being present to them, being involved in their lives, being going to things, showing interest. because you always hear that, well, I mean, gifts are an action, but gifts are, but I'm sorry, actions speak louder than words. And I think that that's what kids are craving is that time with their dad and their mom and just learning. So to me, that's, and they often, or they also say that there's no substitute for time. when it comes to building, rebuilding, or maintaining any type of relationship. So, especially with your kids, that time that you spend with them,

even if it's doing silly stuff. You know, sometimes those are the things that they remember the most. Yeah, for sure. I definitely, there are lots of memories I have from when we were little that were just crazy, silly things that we'd do, but they were so much fun

because they were with mom or dad. Like turning off the lights and playing a flashlight. hide and seek. That's actually exactly what I was gone. That was the exact thing I was thinking of. Yeah, that ended when I could no longer get behind the washer and dryer. That was the only place I could stay away from you guys. That was so fun. I remember that. How do you think that kind of relationship with your kids can help you be involved in supporting their relationships and the health of their relationships later in life? Well, I mean, they're learning how to be in relationship.

in a relationship with others when they're growing up. So part of it's with their siblings, but that's like a bunch of hooligans trying to figure things out. So the parents are the ones that really build that structure. And, you know, boys are learning how to be men through their father and girls are learning how to be women through their mother. But girls learn how to be in relationship with a guy

through their father and vice versa, a guy is with their mother. And that's something that's, you know, we've taught in our classes over and over again how important it is those relationships. And when there's a void there, when a father's not involved, their mother's not involved, it does leave a vacuum. And it doesn't mean that it can't, you can't find someone else in your life that really fills that vacuum, you know, like a great.

grandma or a grandpa or, but it's still not the same and it does, you know, leave those scars. So, yeah, how you, how we are as parents is so critical in, in that child development. And that's something that we can't take too lightly. You know, I see a lot of guys, I get on guys all the time because they want to show how much they love their kid by providing, you know, money, money thing. It's like, no, it's so important that you have that time to just sit and listen. And I don't know, well, I know you remember these, but some of the best times were late at night when we would just sit and talk about life and wrestle with things. So, and it's, that's important for us as parents, too. I don't think a lot of people realize

how much they're missing out on by not doing that, or having those relationships with their kids, that type of relationship. So, what's the first one on the list here of stupid advice for people who are dating? First thing on the list here is don't text back straight away. Okay, so this is a new one here. So what's the article say there? Okay, so the article says,

once I was about to text a guy back, my friend screamed and leapt so fast as I thought she was possessed. You can't reply straight away. She yelled, snatching the phone from my hand as if it were ticking time bomb. Dramatic much? Hands down, it's one of the worst pieces of advice you can receive. If you leave them on delivered to look not interested, chances are they'll return the favor just as bad. If you're really vibing, it'll feel seamless and you won't notice how long you've left them or left you on delivered. I don't. a little bit casual writing, I guess. I was going to say that's a little awkward. I may not read all of these completely. No wonder if she doesn't want to text back right away. Confuse the person she's talking to. Or he's talking to.

Is this a guy or a girl? Basically, the idea is like, play hard to get. You don't want to, like, let them know you're interested too quickly. You got to kind of, like, play with them a little bit. So, I don't know. Do you think that this is talking about first? date or just every time or early on or yeah i don't i don't even know my guess it's probably early on because i don't know why you would try to play hard to get if you've been dating somebody for a while

yeah so have you heard people that can talk about this thing you should you shouldn't i often hear people say don't text them back right away like you should give it some time which i think on the one hand maybe is a good idea just because you're like I don't know. It really depends. Like if it's someone you're not interested in, if you text them back really quickly, I guess it could indicate more interest than you mean.

But then again, you could just be on your phone and it's a good time for you to respond to a text. This is why I hate texting when it comes to serious stuff in relationships because to me it's just, there's so much of a head game in it. And I think this is what they're talking about here

is, I guess they don't think that it's good to text back right away because it gives the impression. Or wait a minute, they're saying this is bad advice. So they're saying you should right away, especially if you like them. Or they're saying basically you should do whatever you want. Like you don't have to, but you can. Okay. I didn't know if it was one of those thoughts of, you know, someone gave that advice to just play hard to get or I don't know.

I just think it leaves too many questions. if you. So I guess, but I would agree. I would agree with this, that this is bad advice. I don't think it's a problem to text someone back right away. I also, I do think it depends on what you're talking about, but we've had a conversation before about texting. It can really be a mind game if you overanalyze how quickly someone texts you back.

Yeah, I just don't like the texting thing because it's just, to me, it's, think of the mental game that goes into this. If I text them too soon, they'll think that I, I'm this, you know, that I'm too forward. Well, if I don't text them right away, well, then maybe they'll get the, there's so much head game in that, that that's always what worries me about the whole. But then we're friends, right? So friends are allowed to text each other. Why is it a problem? That's always my question.

Yeah, that's always my question. I'm like, will people misconstrue it if I text them because they're just a friend who happens to be a guy? I don't know. I think that's very common for people to just like overread into situations too. So I guess this particular situation is someone who's been on a date with the person, so you know there's interest there. So I guess in that situation, I don't know why you wouldn't want to show interest back if you do like them. Yeah.

And the thing is, if they grow disinterested because you're showing interest in them and they don't have this chase, I guess. But I think that's more telling on their character than anything. Well, I think the biggest thing is, you know, if you have some interest, I think it's important that you reconnect with them and don't wait forever. Don't play mind games. Just, you know, give them that impression that I had a good time and, you know, hopefully we can do this again. Yeah. You still take a chance with it.

Yeah. I mean, it doesn't have to be elaborate. It doesn't have to be some. long drawn out text. I mean, it probably shouldn't be. I could just be like, yeah, I had a really good time tonight. Well, yeah. And I wonder if this is pointed mostly at women or guys, you know?

I would say, let's see, I'm not actually sure if it's a man or a woman who wrote this. It looks, I think it was a woman who wrote this, but that's also kind of, yeah, I can't quite tell. But, oh, I guess it would be. It would have been a woman because she said a guy. Yeah, well, let me just put it this way. I'll speak from a guy's point of view. You speak from a girl's point of view because I am not going to try and flip that one. Wait, but you already said you wanted to talk to yourself today.

No, no, no, we're not going there. No, as a guy, you know, I think I've seen this where it's hard. You're putting your heart out there and you don't know what you're going to get if you're going to get rejected. And that's always hard. But for me, I always, you know, I found it very comforting when the other person showed some interest. And I'd rather them let me know something early before I really get invested. It's still hard, but I think, you know, and I wish that they would be at least honest with me. So the texting thing is just a little bit hard for me.

But that's just guys. This is a bit of a rabbit trail. but along those lines, if someone asks you out and you say yes, but then you change your mind that you don't really want to do it, from the guy's perspective, is it better for the person, for the woman to just go on the date with you and then say no or to say no before you even go on the date?

Well, let me always caveat with, it depends on the situation. But in normal situation where there's a change, I say you still go. And then you just be honest that this was fun, but, you know, I don't know if I want to do it again. Because I think, you know, there's some integrity in that. That you said yes. So follow through with it.

It doesn't mean that it has to continue on. But you still show that respect for them. Yeah. That's my thought. Your thoughts? No, I think that's fair because I've had some people say that they did that. And I just, I felt bad for the guy because, you know, he got the courage up to ask her out. And then he probably was really excited that she was going to go on a date with him.

And then all of a sudden he gets crushed by the fact that she doesn't even bother doing that much. So. And I get it. Maybe there's some situations in which you're just like trying to protect your heart and you're kind of in a bad spot anyway. Maybe you were like just got out of a relationship and realized you weren't really ready to go on a date or something like that. So I guess there are some situations or if you really think the guy's creepy and that's, you know. Yeah, I mean, if you're worried about something, then, yeah, don't be afraid to say, yeah, I'd rather not. But the other thing is, and I always, we used to say this to your older siblings is just go. It's, if nothing else, it's a good way to practice dating.

I mean, not as you're using the person for that, but if they've asked you, I'll just. Just go and, you know, share some integrity, but I don't know. Just a thought. I don't think there's an ultimately right or wrong. You're listening to Wherefore Arthel Romeo, where we are discussing the topic of bad dating advice. I'm your host, Emily Shody, and my co-host is licensed marriage therapist, Greg Shody, here on Radio Free Hillsdale, 101.7 FM. Okay, so our next question in here is, or not question, our next claim for being bad dating advice, is treat them mean, keep them keen.

And I'm not going to read it because that first one was hard to read anyway. But basically the idea that this is getting at is don't basically try to keep the power in your court. Again, it's kind of similar to that first bit of advice. Don't ever let them have the upper hand, the power. So you're going to pretend that you're busy all the time and are very limited on the amount of time that you can go out with them. or you're going to not give them any indicators of interest. Okay, my question would be, for what purpose? You know, to play hard to get, you know?

For what purpose? Because then maybe they'll be more likely to chase, you know, because... Yeah, or maybe they'll just think you're a creeper. You know, I don't know. My whole thing is, is you do that, and I'd be like, okay, what's what's she going to be like or what's he going to be like in marriage if this is the way we're starting his whole thing off that you're you know yeah i think that's stupid advice i okay i have for a very long time throughout my life always like i've really always heard this idea of um play hard to get okay and what does that mean to you to me that means

Kind of like what this person is saying, like, don't show too much interest. Because if you do, you're going to freak them out. And they're not going to be because then they don't feel like they're being able to pursue you. They feel like they're being like from the, I guess this is from the girl's perspective, as we said earlier. But like if I were to do this to a guy and it would feel like I'm pursuing the guy and he doesn't feel like he's able to pursue me. And so he's just kind of freaked out by that. And so, like, that's almost that element of playing hard to get in my mind. But I also know that's not really what people mean.

Because I think sometimes they just mean don't act super interested at all and act kind of aloof. Yeah. Here's what I would say. I don't like the way they've put this. But I do agree with the whole playing. playing, we'll say it this way, playing harder to get. And I don't like the whole playing hard to get, which means that you're trying to put them through, you know,

hell or purgatory before they get to the, you know, sorry, that's not great analogy there. But I think one of the ways that I would say this is, I think there's something special about keeping that mystery about yourself. and really, you know, making that person have to work at uncovering it. Versus, you know, you just give everything. It's like you open the door wide. Come on into the garden and let me show you everything on the first date versus that mystery.

And I've even heard my dad, your grandpa, talk about how important that was, even in marriage, that there was this mystery that you're still uncovering, you're still unlocking in that person. And it's not a withholding. It's just, you know, it's not, I can't think of the right word. But I think the other way I put this is in a couple who I've worked with in the past, who there was an infidelity and they're now rebuilding the marriage. One of the things that he said that was so important in rebuilding, and he should have kept it all along, was a curiosity about his wife.

And it's too easy to grow very bored with and complacent with a relationship versus do we seek curiosity, seek to know that person deeply. And then do we also keep some of that mystery, especially in dating? So I don't know. I don't know if that makes sense. So it seems like what you're saying is that it's less about not giving them an indication of interest and trying to keep the upper hand. But it's more about not just spilling out everything about yourself and everything about who you are. So there's ways to show interest and get to know someone without just telling them absolutely everything. right off the bat.

Yeah. This is a horrible analogy, but it was just what came to mind here. It's like the Christmas calendars that were where you reveal, you open up one of the boxes and there's something in there. I mean, day one, you don't open all the boxes and you be like, okay, that was great. Versus there's that excitement about, oh, my gosh, this is really cool what I have found today. And now there's like 20, whatever, more of these. Again, not a perfect analogy, but there's just something that you build that excitement.

And I think some people, you know, either hold on too tight and play this game of I'm going to be mean and I'm going to try and because that kind of attitude, I'm afraid that then goes into marriage. And it becomes one of those manipulation versus a true working at a relationship because, you know, you want something more. You want to go deeper. You know, I have noticed that just in my relationships in general with people, not like not romantic relationships, but just like relationships with my family. I mean, I was talking to mom today about something. And she told me about a club that she started in high school, I think she said. And it was like students against drunk driving.

And she did all of the stuff. I had no idea she did that. And it was so interesting because, I mean, I'm 21. I obviously have known my mother my whole life, and yet that was something I still didn't know about her. And I think that's like it's so true about any relationship you have is like keeping that excitement to know more about them because there's always so much more to a person than what you initially discover because sometimes they just haven't, they haven't unlocked that memory in an experience with you where they wanted to share it. Yeah. Well, and let's go even deeper with that.

I think that that was neat because we're talking about. about, you know, a dating relationship, but you're right. It's in all relationships. And it makes me think of my grandpa Cole, who was a brilliant man that had so much neat things in his past. And, you know, as a kid, I was so busy, grandpa had come over and there are those things that we like doing with him, but I'll never forget in high school because he was getting on in age and I just wanted to know more about him, and we took a long walk and just, I started to unpeel that onion just to really ask him,

tell me about grandma, tell me about this. Well, how did you meet? And just all of that started to bring history, started to bring, yeah, it was really neat to uncover things that, you know, about that particular person in my life. So I guess in response to this particular claim that this is bad dating advice,

Maybe the way it's phrased is bad dating advice and the practice specific to this person, but I think that the concept, kind of to your point, is not totally off. Maybe it is good dating advice to kind of more in the light of just not sharing everything and having that mystery. So then the third bit of supposed bad dating advice is if you're nervous before a first date, drink, which I think is probably truly bad dating advice. It's also bad advice for getting married because, I mean, how many times people drink before they go in and say their vows? I'm like, oh, that's stupid.

Oh, seriously? Oh, yeah. That's so unfortunate. There was a time down at our parish, downtown where we were doing stuff up for the Feast of Corpus Christi. And the couple was going in, the marriage was happening early. are on that day. And we were watching them out there drinking. And I'm like, oh, if I was the pastor, saw that happening, I'd be like, sorry,

wedding's off right now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was, anyway. I mean, I guess a bit of alcohol isn't necessarily a problem in itself, but I think that people's intent with drinking alcohol before something like that is probably not just to, like, enjoy a glass of wine. Okay, well, let's look at this because I, yeah, I mean, someone could say, well, if I just

had just a little bit of wine, it just kind of settles the nerves. But if you read down here, it says, unfortunately, sometimes I forget how much of a lightweight I am and how incredibly fast I can skull a drink when I'm nervous, whatever that means. Like how fast you drink it, like, I guess, yeah. So, yeah, I think that the danger in this is, um, it brings down the, the inhibitions and then, you know, you could end up messing up the one we just talked about because now you're telling too much about things that you probably shouldn't. And I mean, that's a kind of bad way to represent yourself. I mean, because when you get married,

you then present yourself at your reception as a newly married couple as you are your new family now and that's your first time greeting guests as a family. And so it's, if you're greeting them and you are wasted, that's kind of a bad indication of the way that you're going to live your lives. It's a bad form of, it's not hospitable to your guests. So I guess that would be the danger. I mean, I'm in no way saying I have an issue with alcohol because it's not a bad thing in and of itself. It's just, and I think in this instance, it just is not the wisest decision. Well, okay, so this, without going more into this, let's just talk about something I heard that I thought was really cool about, you know, alcohol. When you're of age, and make sure that we put that in there, is that when you use alcohol to a point where you're getting drunk, then the problem with that is it's where you're going into yourself and you're closing in on yourself because you're just trying to, you know, drown.

yourself in alcohol or you're you're getting wasted um that's not good because it it breaks down relationships but when you drink together a little bit um and you're not getting drunk it's a it and it's drawing you closer to other people and out of yourself that's when it's a positive thing i don't know if that makes sense is that alcohol if you're if you're using it and getting drunk that's when it breaks down relationships versus when you're using it just socially and you're having a little bit and you're connecting with others

that's when it becomes something that can be very positive. Yeah. That's a good distinction there. It's like having that healthy relationship with it so that you can have healthy relationships with other people. And knowing your limits.

Knowing your limits. So you don't pour yourself that much to drink. Fair enough. You're listening to Where For Arthel? Romeo where we are discussing the topic of bad dating advice. I'm your host, Emily Shodi, and my co-host is licensed marriage therapist Greg Shottie here on Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM. So the fourth bad bit of advice is be an enigma. Basically, like, be elusive and hard to, like, be super mysterious and act uninterested. These are all kind of the same, if I'm going to be honest, except for that third one. It's just like,

act disinterested, don't show interest at all, keep the ball in your court, don't let them know anything. You know, in some relationships, that's a good thing. I knew a guy I used to work at a residential treatment center for youth, unruly youth that were in the juvenile delinquent system. And there was one guy who worked there. The kids all respected because he didn't tell all of his stuff. And the kids would even talk about that.

they didn't know. He would tell him a little bit at a time. But in that situation, it was one where he was using it not to be manipulated. But yeah, in a dating situation, just, yeah, I don't know if that's what they're trying to say is make it so that they have to work hard. I think we kind of already talked about that. Yeah. I think it's one of that you don't throw all your stuff on the table right away.

And it's important to take some time and get it. to know each other, but if you're going to be this hard nut to crack, I think most people are going to be like, yeah, heck with that. Yeah, I guess, yeah, we kind of, we basically kind of answered this already. So, like, yeah, have some mystery surrounding you, but if you're totally uninterested in the person, they're not going to bother with you. So maybe. Well, you're also going to get a reputation, not that I'm condoning that, but people are

going to go away going, geez, this person is, you know, closed off or they're, they're just weird. Because if I don't know anything about you, I'm just going to fill in the blank about you. And then you get what you get. You're listening to Wherefore Arthel Romeo, where we are discussing the topic of bad dating advice. I'm your host, Emily Shody, and my co-host is licensed marriage therapist Greg Shottie here on Radio Free Hillsdale, 101.7 FM. So the fifth piece of advice is... How many of the... These are there. Oh, there's seven.

Sorry. We're almost there. Oh, we're going to get through these in the time? Oh, yeah, I think so. I'll get through what we can. This is kind of interesting. Wait for them to make the first move. I mean, I guess this depends.

It also, I mean, it depends on your worldview. Let's just go with our worldview here in our worldview. It's not necessarily bad for women to make, to allow men to, like, make that first. move, but also there's this element of being able to, as a woman, I mean, we can initiate and we can. I've heard people describe it as drop the handkerchief, like give them a chance to be gallant or gentlemanly in some way and give them an opening. That's just from my perspective. Well, I'm all for that because I'll tell you what, it's one of those, if I was given the opportunity, I think it's important to try and to move in some direction versus just waiting aimlessly.

But it was helpful to me that your mom actually showed interest. I still had to take that chance of asking her out and going from there. But, you know, if she wouldn't have done that, I don't know if I would have sought her out. I don't know. So I think it's, yeah, I don't think it's the best advice. I think there's nothing wrong with showing that interest. And I think guys need to make a move and not just linger. Yeah.

I do wonder though sometimes because just with like the different personality types, maybe this could be, it could be bad advice to say to wait for them to make the first move just because I don't know, sometimes if you're a really caloric personality versus like as a woman maybe and then as a man who's very melancholic and like tends to just. think about things a lot more before he makes a decision, then you may just, like, wait forever for nothing to happen. Yeah. So I do wonder if there's a point at which you can just ask someone out. I mean, it doesn't have to be super, super intense.

Okay, I'm going to sound old school here, and I'm probably going to sound a little harsh to the guys. But my whole thing is, is, you know, toughen up. You have to, I mean, you can overthink anything. But ask a girl out. If you find interest, ask her out. Could she say no? Could you feel rejected?

Yeah. But, you know, some of this stuff, we've got to toughen herself up and take those chances versus being too afraid of what might. You know, you never know unless you try. And then, you know, I don't know. So I'll probably have someone listen to this going, oh, my gosh, he's such a whatever. But I just, I don't know. I've said that to your brothers, that they really just need to be men. And that means lead.

And sometimes leading means that you take chances. And it's hard. But I think we've got this a world where we don't always have men leading. So that's why I'm picking on the men with this one. But you can say from the girl's perspective. I mean, I think that's fair. I do see what you're saying. This is something I've definitely thought a lot about and had conversations about with my girlfriends, just because I have a, I personally have a strong personality. And so I like to lead. So if there's going to be a guy who isn't going to lead, I might have a tendency to take over, which wouldn't be good if you're trying to balance that element of, you know, having that leadership in,

in a relationship of the man being that leader, I think I would struggle personally with trying to take over if I didn't have someone who actually intentionally made the decision to lead and to put that effort in. Yeah, and these things go on into marriage. I can't tell you how many times they see that where, you know, you've got that caloric woman or the one that's kind of the leader who they'll be in marriage and they just take the lead because the,

guy won't and he abdicates it. And then you'll hear, I often hear the woman say that they resent that, that they wish he would step up and lead. And then it gets into this fight of, well, you won't let me lead. And so, you know, being in a relationship means that we've got to grow. We've got to learn. So even though you're a leader and God gave you that gift, you know, part of that marriage is the sacrificial part of it so we can grow. So someday you're going to have to be able to, you know, abdicate that in some ways to your husband. And then hopefully the guy, if that's where he struggles, is going to have to learn how to step up. Because if not, it gets imbalanced. And it can go. That's why opposites attract, because they can make us better. But

it can also make us frustrated and bitter. And I see that a lot too. So this is a great training ground here to become better and learn. So I guess maybe what we're saying is that we disagree that this is bad advice. So maybe saying, at least on the girls' part, to wait for them to make the first move is actually a good thing. It's actually good advice? Well, again, it depends on what you mean by this. I think...

What do we mean by the first move? Is the first move, like, showing interest, or is it asking you out on a date? I guess showing interest, you don't have to wait, asking on a date, you know. Could wait a little bit. Could wait a little bit. Give it a little time. Oh, no, it's a little nebulous there. But that's, yeah, that's kind of where I stand.

You've got to show interest. But be careful of that, because if you show too much to someone that you, I guess that gets people in trouble too. Yeah. Okay, move on. Moving on. Okay, advice bit number six. Don't go too far on the first date. Basically, they're saying don't kiss on the first date.

They're saying that's bad advice. Like, if you want to kiss somebody on the first date, go for it. Whatever makes you feel comfortable. Yeah, I think that this is actually good advice. Because I think we live in the world right now where everybody wants to go too far. And we've got to remember that there are ramifications. of physical contact. And that's just the reality.

You know, we live in a time where everybody wants to say, you know, there aren't ramifications. You can have friends with benefits. The problem is our brains release neurochemicals and they create bonding. So you go too far too fast. It's going to create bonding. And then if it doesn't work out, it's harder. So that's just my opinion. Yeah.

It's interesting because in a lot of our TV shows, reality TV, And movies, there's definitely this indication that kissing early on in the dating relationship is totally chill, like, on that first date. And you just like, yeah, like you're stupid if you don't. Yeah, like the emotions carry you away and you are just so in love after date one. I honestly can't imagine being so in love after date one that I'd be willing to do that just because usually first dates are pretty uncomfortable no matter how interested you are in the person. But just because, like, why? Just why do you need to? But the thing is, like, in these, like, entertainment, in the entertainment sphere,

it's kind of marketed as the people think that that kiss will determine something about that person, like compatibility with that person, or they're just, like, testing you out to see if it, I don't know if it's going to go well and they think that a kiss will indicate that. I mean, I feel like a kiss in general, depending on how far you go with it, can be pretty benign compared to what sometimes people will do on a first date. But. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I would, the only way I would caveat this a little bit different is if I've built a friendship with someone for a long time and we've really grown close and then I ask you out on a date.

that I could see a kiss not being a problem. You see what I'm saying? Because part of the foundation has been built there, even though it's not official. So circumstances do matter. I guess that's fair because if you're right, if you've been friends for a long time and it's like a first date,

but technically you guys know each other really well and you are more involved than that, I guess it's not as big of a deal. I guess so we won't go too deep than that. I know some people are like, well, I got to find out if they're a good kisser or not. Well, everybody's got to start off awkward somewhere. I mean, I guess in a sense, this one line that this author puts down, like, do whatever makes you feel comfortable at the time, isn't totally wrong. But they're, yeah, I would say that if it's like a first date with someone you don't know very well, I would agree.

don't go too far. I think that maybe is good advice. Yeah. Okay. The last one is a lot more lighthearted. Says the bad advice is go to the cinemas for a date. Yeah, I agree. That's not a good one.

Like that's, yeah, like that is bad advice. Yeah. Especially when you go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. That's, yeah. Found that out the wrong way. That wasn't our first date, but. What is that first of all? Be a mom.

Seriously. Oh yeah, we left halfway through it because it was so horrendous. I knew nothing about it. But yeah, anyway. So the reason I don't think that it's good is because you want connection. You go into a movie. You're not connecting. You're just both sitting next to each other staring at a screen.

But I don't. Well, I guess especially. Yeah. I think if it's a first date. Yeah. Definitely not because it's not, like you said, not a good way to get to know somebody. Right. Because you're not really talking to each other.

Maybe later on, if you're like officially dating, it could just be like a fun thing to go out and do. But I wouldn't make it the entire date night just because, again, you're not talking to each other. So if you're trying to have that that togetherness that's actually fruitful and meaningful, probably wouldn't spend all that time watching TV. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, that was everything.

Well, yeah. Interesting. Well, that was kind of fun to do. Okay, yeah. So if anybody wants to read this article, it's called Seven Pieces of Terrible Dating Advice, just buy Izzy off of Year 13.com. I know, super official. But if you're interested in reading it, we basically gave you an overview. Well, we were, I really think that this person has some good things to say, but I don't agree with everything.

Oh, well, it was fun. Like we said, we were just doing this to be a little bit more lighthearted. This isn't like deep advice from... Deep advice that you should never take. It's more like an opinion column. This is our opinion piece for the day. There we go. But isn't that really what we've been doing the entire time?

I mean, mine are just opinions. Yours are actually more valid because you're a professional, but... Which is more professional opinion? Professional opinion. Fair enough. Anyway, we just like to remind you that relationships are a process. They take time and effort. We just want to help you balance your head and your heart.

This is your friendly reminder to not be discouraged, because if you haven't found your Romeo or Juliet, go do a jigsaw puzzle. Or really any kind of puzzle, my personal favorite are actually Sudoku puzzles. Sudoku, Sudoku. I never knew how to say that one. If you have questions that you would like us to address, please email them to e-shodook.

Shuddy at Hillsdale.edu. That's E-S-C-H-U-T-T-E at Hillsdale.edu. And we will discuss them in future shows. If you would like to listen to already released shows, you can find them wherever you get your podcasts. That's all for Wherefore Art thou Romeo. I'm Emily Shuddy. And I'm not Emily Shuddy.

I'm Greg Shudder. On Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM.