WRFH/Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM - Word to the Wise: Selfie Central

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

The culture around always tells us the focus should be on ourselves, but is "self love" really more helpful than harmful?

Hello, everybody. You're listening to Radio Free Hillsdale 1-1.7 FM. My name is Ariel McDowell. And I'm her brother, Judah McDowell, and this is Word to the Wise, where we critically and humorously scrutinize anything significant in pop culture today. All right, everybody. Well, today we are going to be talking about selfie culture, self-love, self-care. Our culture is just very interested in the idea of self-focused in general right now. over the past few years. It's only grown in popularity this whole movement. So we're going to be responding to that today. So just to get us started, Judah, I have a question for you that's really just been on my mind recently. Okay. What's that? Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Difting through the wind? Wanting to start again. Sometimes. Sometimes I feel a little bit like that.

You feel like a plastic bag? Yeah, I feel like a plastic bag too sometimes. Okay. So some of you might have realized that is a famous lyric from Katie Perry's Firework Song. Very popular. Pretty catchy song. Pretty catchy song. Yeah, it's a good song, honestly. It is. So yeah, we're just going to play a little section of that song for you guys real quick, and then we'll get into what we're talking about here. All right. Well, that was the very talented and highly popular singer Katie Perry. Little known pop culture fact. She is actually the progeny of Perry the platypus from Phineas and Fur. Yeah, there's a reason that's little known. Not true. We don't want to get sued. Don't want to get sued for defamation. No, Ferry the Platapist did not birth Katie Perry. That's true because he's actually not real. He's not.

Firework. It's a great song. You just heard it. I'm sure you all. or bopping your heads as you listen to that incredible music. I bop my head. Yeah, because, yeah, unless you're all part of the car. Anyway, so there's a line in there where she goes, come on, show them what you're worth, make them go, ah, ah, ah. Okay, I'm just curious who, I guess to get the conversation ball rolling. Who is, because the funny thing is she's having, like, everyone's got their headphones in,

they're being real angsty. They're walking down the street with their hoodie. And they're listening to the song. They're like, yeah, I'm a firework. I'm going to show them what I'm worth, right? I'm going to make them go aw, ah, ah, ah. But they're all, um. They're all um.

They're all um. They're all thinking. Hopefully I can make everyone else go ah, ah, ah. But no one is actually, they're all thinking of themselves. Yeah. And because they're thinking of themselves, they really don't have time to look at someone else and actually legitimately be impressed or amused or... No, it's super harmless and encouraging it on the surface. And then you think about it, it's like very, very self-focused, right?

So if you look at the whole of the song, it's painting a picture of this aimless, purposeless, unnoticed, insecure little being who just wants to self-actualize and realize their full potential. and in order to do this, they need to look inward and just be like, ah, nobody really sees me. I feel insecure, but actually, you know what? I'm pretty fantastic. Pretty amazing. I'm pretty great, and I'm going to blow them all away. Yeah, exactly.

It's like, it gives you a problem. It's a real problem. You don't feel very good about yourself. You feel like everyone's looking down on you. But the only solution to that is really just realize how great you actually are on the inside. And so like, I'm a firework. I just need to blow up and show everyone the truth about myself so that everyone realizes I'm great and people see me.

Which a couple of things here. One, you could imagine this is like everybody's dealt with insecurity. And everybody is a valuable human being made in the image of God. However, is her standard of great and a firework and impressive and awesome actually rooted in being someone who people are like in awe of. And if it is, you can't just decide that you're the kind of person that inspires awe. You can't just realize that. Because what if you're not?

Right. True. I mean, you could be. You absolutely could be. But you can't just decide that you're really awesome to other people. It almost feels a little bit, like a little bit entitled about it. Kind of like, like, I don't. There's nothing I need to be to like help inspire people.

It's just more like, I should inspire myself just because I'm me. Just because I mean. And everyone else should follow along. And if they don't, then they're the people or the problem because I am awesome. I am just rock solid. Right. It's a little bit. It's not actually, there's not actually any sort of goal of how to be this inspiring person.

It's just you are. You just don't. Right. Right. Which granted, your aim in life actually overall should not be self glorification. So that's what's funny. is, you know, some people might take this and be like, no, actually you've got to push yourself to be the best. And that is what your life is about.

But only some people are fireworks and some people are just worthless pieces of trash. Let's throw them in the dumpster. I mean, I don't know if anyone's saying that. But my point is, the reverse is not necessarily, like, people will take this song or this message of encouragement and flip it on its head and be like, yeah, but just like some people are fireworks and some people aren't. So isn't it silly? She's singing it to everyone. Just like choose to be a far work or don't. And then you're a worthless piece of garbage.

That's not what we are walking away with. The actual fundamental underlying purpose of her song is actually what's incorrect, which is that your life is about becoming a firework or glorifying yourself at all. Which is why, but if that is your purpose, that's why she has to come to the conclusion because she has no the choice if she wants to be encouraging, well, we must all just like really be that great. And then everyone's got their headphones on and they're all hoping, yeah, everyone else, one of these days, everyone else is going to wake up to the fact that I am just so amazing. And one of these days, someone's going to notice. Like, it's really sad, actually.

So you have this really insecure person who feels a little bit like a plastic bag, if you will, and they're putting this solution on that's kind of just like a Band-Aid, which is just, you know, I'm actually great. And if you think that you're actually great, but you're not getting the same feedback from all around you from everywhere else. It leads you to start resenting other people for that. Like, oh, all my peers don't understand how great am. I should have friends, but I don't because people are mean. Or, oh, my goodness, my parents, they just don't get me. They keep punishing me and taking away my stuff, but this is just who I am. It's like, it's all about you.

And instead of actually doing something to maybe, like, see other people and how you can, like, help them or make them better, like, think about their life. You just get in a cycle of your own head over and over again. So, and this is just an encouragement message that really is completely powerless and permeates the whole culture. This isn't like some attack on the song, Firework. It's just, that's what it's tempting to do, right? Because she doesn't even know who she's singing to. This is a song put on the public radio and everyone's just listening like, yeah, yeah, I'm a firework. Yeah.

So it kind of reminds me of this line from the movie The Incredibles. And the concepts in the movie is totally different. but the line is still true, which syndrome, the bad guy says, and if everyone's super, no one is. Which it's just like, okay, two things. She either just is simply trying to, in the song, say, everyone is valuable so you don't need to feel like a waste of space. Well, I think it can be objectively arguing.

She is not just saying that the basic statement that everyone holds value as a person. Because if so, we wouldn't be like fired up, getting into the song, making people go like ah, ah, ah, ah, no one's saying ah, ah, ah, to someone else for being a human being who is in fact like a valuable person. Right, it's not something more than that. It's about something more. It's about being like special and wonderful. But if we're all special.

But if it's just something that can apply to anyone who listens to her song, making other people amazed and blessed by your very presence, that isn't just equally applicable by listening to the song. Right. It's just not true either. It's not, yeah, it's not true. And it shouldn't be true. And it shouldn't really be what you're aiming for anyway. Like, that's not the the thing you should be going for. If it's not actually how you fix insecurity or purposelessness is by like,

but I'll become great enough that my life is great. And everyone realizes how great I am. It's some people's, again, like I referenced earlier, some people's solution to this will be like, yes, that should be your goal, but some people fail. And so they are trash. And the goal is to not fail. No, the goal is just not your self-glorification at all. And for those are, of you who just started listening, this is Word to the Wise on Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM. My name is Judah McDowell, and I'm here with my sister Ariel, and we are talking about the concept in culture of self-love. So one place I think the self-focus of our culture really plays out is on, well, social media. But specifically, I think the practice of curating an entire page

for yourself, about yourself, on Instagram, etc, that are pictures of you living your life. Not like you can never take a picture of yourself and post it, that's not my point. But I think particularly among young women who are some of the most insecure people, some of the people who engage most in comparison, to take pictures of yourself looking good and then be just really excited about other people seeing that. And it's not that it's something you could never do. But just think about how many times your brain is engaging in that practice during the week and what are your incentives?

Like legitimately, when you're thinking about posting a picture on Instagram, when you're thinking about the life you're trying to portray. Like what really is your intention in posting a picture of you looking good in a dress? Like your intention, just like be real with yourself for a second. you are interested in yourself looking good. Like that is the reason. But most of the time, because you're so fixated on that, you don't feel good enough.

Like you don't feel wonderful at all. Because, and we're going to talk about this later, the more you're thinking about yourself and the way that you look, the worst you're going to feel. Vanity never lasts. It's never enough. And it's just going to let you down. And especially if, like, C.S. Lewis talks about, he has this part where he talks about pride.

And he's like, no one is prideful because they're pretty. They're only prideful because they're prettier than someone else. No one is prideful and is satisfied just being, owning a good car. They're happy because they own a better car than somebody else. So, you know, your vanity might be temporarily, temporarily satiated. But as soon as you compare yourself to somebody else or somebody else has a better picture, it just, you know, it's going to fall flat on its face. Right. Exactly. I mean, as soon as you don't get like as many likes as you maybe wanted to or like someone comments on someone else's post and not yours.

Like not, we're not like calling you out and saying your individual like motivations must be horrible every time you post a selfie. But it's like just think about it for a second. Like what reason can you like give for doing all that that's like not having to do with a little like a little bit of self-office? A little bit of narcissism, which is, like, it's okay. Like, it's okay. We're not, like... Well, narcissism is not okay. But I think you could, like, post a picture of yourself looking good every once in a while, and it could be okay.

Right. But, like, what's the real reason? And it's, it just, like, she said, falls apart so easily from the smallest thing. Like, it doesn't satisfy you. So, like, I feel like sometimes in the same spirit, like, for some people, like, me especially, I don't feel like it's always about, like, looking good necessarily, but it's kind of the same thing when it's about, like, doing something fun. Like people will post themselves like at a party or hanging out with people or maybe like with their significant other just like trying to show people like what they're doing is like super fun.

So I've heard the term maybe you guys have heard it like people say picks or it didn't happen. Like it's mostly a joke but sometimes it actually plays out like it's kind of true. Like somehow sometimes it becomes more important that you like capture the moment and share it with someone else than the fact that it's actually happening. And everyone knows like social media is kind of fake and you're trying to. to put out something that you're not. But I don't want to even just like focus on that. I think there's another layer to it, which is like,

what incentive could you possibly have to be as involved as people often are in social media that is not extremely narcissistic? Like I guess that's really, because I think it's a new phenomenon. Phenomenon, it's singular. But I like, try and place it in any other setting in a different civilization, in a different era.

It just like kind of doesn't make sense. Like you are spending lengths of time. The average person with social media is spending lengths of time curating what their life looks like for others. And legitimately it's not a blessing because actually most people that like don't care. Even if they care about you,

they probably don't care about most of the stuff that's going on or social media. So it's more like why, like what has become so normal about being self-interested in our culture that it's okay to spend a lot of time curating pictures of yourself. Like, I'm just focused on the intention there because how can, there's no way most people's intention is not narcissistic, I guess is my main argument. So really there's like two options for your motivation for like posting so much on your

social media account. I mean, one option is that you're doing it for like other people to see, which if that's your motivation, let's kind of come back to this like fireworks song like, oh, I'm a firework, other people need to see me, and they'll go, ah, ah, ah. It's like, oh, that's what you want. That's bad. Like, we don't want that. Right. And then the other motivation is like, oh, it's for me, right? And that's better than doing it for others. But really, I'm, that's not really an option. Like, if it's for you, why not just have, like, a photo album on your phone of all the time you look pretty. Of just pictures of you, which would be still weird.

Still kind of weird. But like, that's what you would do. The pictures just existed for you, I guess. Right. It's like, and then what were you used to inspire others? Oh, yeah. People are like, I just like, I want to be an inspiration. Like, you're not that inspiring. Do you think that you're that inspiring? Right. So, like, really, every single motivation there is for, like, posting... Regularly posting yourself looking good.

Has to do with other people seeing you in a certain light, which is... Is narcissistic. It is. It's not thinking about other people. It's about yourself and how you're viewed. So I guess what I would walk away with here is just not to be fake. about these things. I feel like I see this a lot from actors and actresses or people just in public positions, especially like someone's a singer or a dancer. And there's kind of this fake

culture where if you're asked why you do something that's a public display of your own talent or beauty, you have to respond by like putting this fake selflessness. Like I hope everyone else's week is made better. I don't think a lot of people's weeks are made better by you being super talented and beautiful. I think you're the person who's most interested in that. And I just would like to like call that out because I feel like everyone is faking it all the time. Right. I think it's kind of, it kind of proves a little bit how weird it is. Because when you, when you're not really allowed or able to answer with the true motivation, like what if someone says like, why did you do this? And they was like, I did it for me. I really just wanted everyone to see how awesome I am. Like, what would people

think if someone said that on an interview. Right. One thing that's interesting, though, is as we've seen social media and performance culture, all these things that are kind of inherently narcissistic and egotistical, we also see in correlation with those things, arise in insecurity, arise in self-hatred, because overall, all of it just has to do with a rise of self-focus, right? So one thing that is commonly said in our culture, especially, I'm going to focus specifically on. young women when young women are insecure and have a low opinion of themselves the solution that is offered to them is usually that exactly the way they are they do not appreciate themselves enough

they do not love or care for their own selves enough if you want more of an earthly good for yourself you you care about yourself right if you want more beauty that's it's because you love yourself, you would like to live a life with more of that earthly good. If you want more money, you want more of an earthly good for yourself. If you want more charm, you want more friends, you want a better life, you want to be a better person, you want to be more likable, you want to be more beautiful. All of this is for yourself. If you actually hated someone, you wouldn't care if they were ugly or miserable. You care that you're ugly and miserable. You wish you were a different way because you actually like yourself a lot. Now that's not to say you cannot pursue ever making

money or putting on makeup or just enjoying doing your hair. The point is the moment you actually transfer that focus off of yourself and onto others, not by thinking badly of yourself, not by thinking well of yourself, but just taking a second to not think about yourself and to live for someone else and ultimately to live for Jesus, that is actually when all those other desires will fall into place the appropriate amount. You won't have to worry about, okay, am I supposed to think I'm super pretty? Am I supposed to think I'm super ugly? Is that humility? No, no, none of that is humility. Humility is actually that not being the reason you live. And then you can just enjoy those things. like you enjoy going skiing.

But when women are extremely fixated on like a lack of beauty in themselves, it is something they want for themselves. Like they love themselves when they're dissatisfied. And the fix for them is not more, I promise you, the fix for almost any young woman in any situation will never be more self-focused. Show me a situation where that is true and pigs will fly. Okay. So we have the same theoretical person from earlier who's feeling really insecure, again, like a plastic bag.

And they're fixing this problem by saying that they don't love themselves enough. So that's what culture is telling them. So they decide to love themselves. And so all these things that might actually be wrong with them, not in a sense of like, oh, they're so bad or worthless. But just maybe like they have a character issue. They think the fix is instead to love themselves more. and they love themselves more, you know, in quotes, and this goes unfixed. So it doesn't fix the problem.

So they just see it more and they start hating themselves more and more. So more self-love actually leads to more self-hatred. When instead, if you stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about what you're living for, live for Jesus Christ, live for other people, you can actually start seeing maybe actual flaws in yourself that can be fixed so that you can be a better person, better at loving others and better at living your purpose out. So one thing that's interesting about this trend of narcissistic, self-focused behavior in our society is that it's not just a byproduct of social media in the way we're living. It's being taught as dogma.

It's being taught as the way to find happiness. I don't know if you guys know who Glenn and Doyle is. She's very highly celebrated, especially in the celebrity world by Reese Witherspoon and others. She considers herself a progressive Christian, in quotes, activist. One quote that she's famous for reads, quote, your job throughout your entire life is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself end quote so this is just where we see this blatant lie self-actualizing that is where you're going to find your purpose and then it's funny because we've never seen more clearly how it fails

because we've never had so many people trying that before if people had tried that they would have starved to death we'd never even had the time or the energy or the resources to delve into our own fleshly desires and celebrate who we are more. And the more we do that, the more depressed we get. It disproves itself as it is promoted. Yeah, I totally agree. And it's just evident all over our generation specifically. Anyway, guys, thank you so much for listening. This has been Word to the Wise on Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM. I'm Judah McDowell, and I'm here with my sister Ariel McDowell, and I hope you guys have a great day.