WRONG! A Fucked Up Game Show - #1 – BLACKED LIVES MATTER (ft. Brian Moses, Ian Abramson, Paige Wesley)

Episode Date: August 18, 2023

Recorded live at the Alamo Drafthouse DTLA, 3/25/2023.OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS: Brian Moses, Paige Wesley, Ian AbramsonSUPPORT THE SHOW ON PATREON: patreon.com/wronggameshowCOME SEE US LIVE:Austin, TX @ Sunset Strip ATX, 8/22, 8 PMLos Angeles, CA @ Alamo Drafthouse DTLA, 8/26, 8 PMSan Diego, CA @ Mic Drop Comedy Club, 9/2, 10 PM Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello folks. Welcome to the first ever podcast version of Wrong, a fucked up game show. I'm your host, Jay Light. Now, if this is your first time hearing about the show, let me give you a little rundown. This is a comedy show, disguised as a game show, where comedians compete to see who can be the most wrong. We make them tell their darkest jokes, answer uncomfortable questions, face-down shady social media posts, and more. And we're all okay afterwards. because this is not a show where we're trying to cancel anyone.

In fact, this show is sort of the opposite of canceling. It's about being okay with saying the thing's a little fucked up because we're doing it just to try and get a laugh. Is there a line? Sure, absolutely. But this show is about finding the line and tap dancing on it. If that sounds like your cup of comedy tea, then keep listening because our first podcast episode is a shining example of that exact concept.

recorded live at the Alamo Draft House on March 25th, 20203, this show's contestants were Ian Abramson, Paige Wesley, and Brian Moses. And let's just dive right in, shall we? Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, let's get wrong. Thank you so much for coming to the show, everybody. Welcome, welcome. We are here.

Their seat, if anybody wants to come take a seat, We got so many seats right up here, by the way. This is wrong, everybody. This is a fucked up game show. What we have done here is we have gotten some of the best comedians in Los Angeles, marry the world, and we are going to put them through their paces

in a contest of discomfort, darkness. We're going to get them pushed to their limits, and they're going to laugh the whole way. Are you ready to laugh at some fucked up stuff tonight, everybody? That's the spirit. Well, let's go ahead and meet Two out of our three contestants because one of them is running about 20 minutes

late and we didn't want to keep you guys waiting. This first guy, one of our favorites here, the Alamo Draft House, the sexiest mustache and comedy. Makes an noise for Ian Abramson, everybody. You go there. There you go. Hello.

Oh, you brought a legal pad and everything. That's right. I brought a legal pad. Oh, boy. Where's yours? Tyler's my legal pad for this show. Tyler's your legal pad. Okay, that's fair. Makes an noise for Tyler, by the way.

is he is my George Gray. He is my announcer. He is a person who keeps track of all the points and the prizes. By the way, there are audience prizes at this show. We have some people ready to participate. Tyler's going to keep track of all that. Let's go and bring on our next contestant.

She is the host of cult podcast, a roast battle favorite. Make it loud for Bram Paige. Wesley, everybody. Hello, Paige. Thank you. You're welcome. Hi, everybody.

And our third contestant, he's not here, so don't cheer for him. Who cares? You know what? How about this? As soon as he walks in, is it too mean to boo Moses right off the bad as you want to hear?

When Moses, so he's our third contestant, he's great, he's a creator of gross battle. One of my favorite human beings in the world, his name's Brian Moses, but he is running a solid, I told him to be, I told everybody to be here at 7.15. It's 7.

All right. Yeah, oh, geez, is right. So when he gets here, we will boo him with great fervor. Does that sound good to everybody? Excellent. Now what we've done here, we've got a game show. Like I said, we got audience prizes.

We want to talk about some fucked up stuff. And I am curious, because we do have some cards here. We had some people who filled out some stuff before the show who told us why their week was fucked up. Oh, we got a late entry. Oh, boy. Okay, this actually, this is good.

This is, this didn't immediately make it to the top three. Wow. I hit the top three pulled already. We have Adam who took too many drugs at once. That's why... Whoa! No, it's five words less. I didn't say took.

It's just too many drugs at once. So I'm assuming you took. Adam, tell us what happened. Why too many drugs at once? When he mixed too many drugs at once, you can either go uppers or downwards or left or right. You never know what's going to happen.

And what drugs are we talking here, Adam? Oh, geez. So we had... I took a gummy. Get her, boys. Is this hospital or festival? I took a little mushroom chocolates, too, with the gummers. I'm just going, you know? Then a bunch of alcohol, too.

Wait, they're on all this right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. All right. Adam is going to be feeling himself in probably about 30 minutes. That was a real risk. Two many drugs at once. It could be really happy and really sad. Adam is going to forget that we said we're booing Moses

and think we're booing him whenever Moses is actually. He's gonna think he is Moses. He's gonna think it in the Bible. He's gonna part the seas. Ah, there we go. That's good stuff. Oh, boy. All right, we have our next audience

entrance in the top here. We have Jake S. Five words, why your week was fucked up. Buying a fucking house. Jake, where are you? There we go. Makes a noise for Jake for buying a fucking house.

All right. What's fucked up about buying a fucking house? Pretty much the entire process. I'm actually Paige's husband, and so we finally went in and decided to do it. And it's just been arduous and it's a lot of work. But hopefully the juice is worth the squeeze. We will see.

Rock and wrong. Paige, what is the worst part about buying a house? The fucking banks. That's the worst part. How about everybody boo the banks real quick? Let money be free. Here in the back who's upset. All right, we have Jake.

Thank you, Jake. I appreciate that. We have one other person. She did not abide by the limit, but I am intrigued by this anyway. Ingrid, in five words or less. Oh, it's because it's hyphenated. That's why it worked out. Almost crashed into wild air humper. Air humper. Air hyphen humper. Air hyphen humper. Ingrid, where are you at? Ingrid, hi. Ingrid, I'm really, come up here. Please come up here for this. Make sure for us for Ingrid, everybody. Okay. What happened? I was just driving through traffic and out of nowhere comes this air humper just

down the street fried into her. Yeah. It was a lady air humper. Wow. It's like the Matrix or something. Have you all ever seen a lady air humper before? I was picturing a machine. When I heard air humper,

I thought like air friar, but for humping. Oh yeah. So then we see a cutco. You sell that. A Ron Papel machine. Air Humper. Or maybe that's slang for an air mattress. Mayor Humper, yeah? Oh.

Anyway, did you commit a felony? Okay. You sounded sad about not committing a felony. You'll get him next time? You know what? I actually do think, out of the three of these, I do think Ingrid is the most fucked up out of all these. So, Anger, we have one question for you. Go ahead and just take a right here, and that's a little tall,

so we can shorten that up. Ingrid, do you think you had a worse week than this guy? Do you think you had a worst week than this sheriff who is so large we could not crop him into the entire photo? So much for thin blue line, right? That is a thick blue line. Angrid, what do you think? Bill Brees, speaking to the mic. I doubt it.

All right. Let's find out why this guy's week was bad. All right. He is one of the sheriffs who arrested Afro-Man this week. After the Adams County Sheriff's Office raided the home of Afro-Man and found nothing, Afro-Man turned footage of the raid into a music video. Now, the officers are suing over emotional distress, embarrassment, ridicule, loss of reputation, and humiliation. We did find the star of that video.

Let's go ahead and show. This is a song called, Please Fix My Door. He must like to have a slice of a lemon pound cake He wanted to slice a lemon pound cake, everybody Do y'all think that Ingrid is having a worse week than that horrible sheriff? Oh no, that horrible sheriff is definitely having the worst week, but fuck 12, right? Like, a cab. Fuck 12.

Right. She had a bad driving situation, but I would have to call him a cab. Hey, hey. We're our first audience prize winner, so Tyler's going to tell you what you won. Makes a noise for Ingrid, everybody. You won an album generous. Seriously, I'm kidding. And also a free ticket, Alba Draftouse. Thank you.

Ingrid, go ahead and head back to your seat. We're going to give you 100 points. Let's go ahead and give our other 250 points just for playing. We got plenty more audience prizes to give away as the show goes on. So be prepared. All right. Let's go ahead and start things off, folks. Moses, still not here.

But it is fine. I think we can do this. I'm ready. I'm ready. We are going to now begin. We need to get some first impressions of our wonderful comedians. We are going to find out... I don't know this is part of it. This is a part of it. Wow. I would like to say no to the show now.

Unfortunately, you can't. And that's the fucked up part. Here's what we're going to do. We have asked these comedians to tell us jokes that they think are their most fucked up jokes. We are going to judge them, on how fucked up

they joke? I think I fuck that sentence up a little bit, Tyler. Did I hit the brief? Yeah. All right, great. We did it. We did it, everybody. We were going to hear these people say some fucked up stuff,

and we're going to judge them on how fucked up it is. Let's start things off with Ian Abramson, everybody. Hey, I'm so fucking fat. I could fuck the fat. You know what I'm saying, folks? I wrote that joke over 10 years ago and haven't said it more than once. So that was...

Friends, I'm here to embarrass me. myself. Do you know what the mask would say at a school shooting? Somebody stop me! That in my Twitter drafts for nearly... And I didn't want to tweet it, but I also did not want to delete it. Finally, it has a home. Wow, I'm very excited about this. I already used my ACAB joke, so I won't do that. If you can't tell, I'm not used to being particularly disgusting. So I thought, I would tell you all about the day my dad died. How we do it? That's right.

I woke up one day and I realized, right, I got to get back to the hospital or I'll be late to my dad dying. And I got there. I'm exaggerating. I did not know he was going to die. The way that I found out that this was his last day on earth. Well, he was still on earth for a few days until they cremated him. But, folks, if you do. don't laugh.

He's going to be very sad. I'm just kidding. He's dead to me. OK. Oh, hey, that's me. OK, so the first weird thing that happened, I'm in there. And I'm talking to you're talking to a bunch of people in the hospital, right? It's a blur.

There's tears. I'm crying. OK, the first thing that happens is they bring in a plate of cheese cubes. And I assume they are trying to give my father a last meal of cheese cubes.

The man died of many things, but diabetes was one of them. This is true. Just to give you kind of a running, because he went out like a champ fighting, okay? That's what I want the headline to be, because I'm about to roast the shit

out of my dead dad. Unfortunately. Get him. What was scary is I don't. I didn't see you there. I thought that that was God. I'm the devil. Okay.

By the time my dad died, he only had one kneecap, six and a half toes. No sternum. Okay? That's right. If you think hugging your father is weird in general, just wait till you're worried that you'll pop his heart. Oh, I'm sorry.

Sorry, is this too weird for you? I wanted to talk about this. So eventually I realized the cheese cubes are for me so that I can get to my dad's position faster. Am I going to need a sternum? Hopefully longer than him. But we'll see. Heart disease runs in my family.

I'm trying to be the first to run in my family. Okay. So cheese cubes, I finally realize, oh, that's actually the moment when it clicks for me, right? that my father is dying. The hospital feels so bad that they can use some of their budget to give me processed milk. Is that what Jesus?

I don't know. The next thing that happens is a generic religious leader comes into the room and tries to be like, hey, would your dad want to talk? And I was like, not right now, man. He's dying. I want this time with him. And it was two full days.

before I realized I had taken away my father's last rats. Wow, you're a good pal. You hear this laugh right here? He's like, don't worry, keep going. Wow, that laugh was, yeah, I wasn't funny before, but I like that you made funny yourself. I can name any laugh, okay? That one was Rebecca.

After this, because it goes, they put him on morphine, okay? And they're basically like, say goodbye now, because when the morphine kicks in, he'll be alive, but he'll be sedated, right? And so my sister and I take turns kind of having a final moment with him, and I get down on my knees, and I say to my dad all kinds of stuff

that I'm afraid to share now because I might break down. You know what I mean? You know what I mean. Thank you. And I will never forget what my dad said back. And believe it or not, it meant the world to me. It did. In that moment, it was exactly what I needed to hear. I mean, to the best of my ability. Anyway, they carted him into another room that had fluorescent lights,

but the fluorescent lights had a panel of like trees over it so that green light was shining down. This is a part of the hospital. This was my first time. Anybody have been to this part of the hospital? No. It's a pretty sad part of the hospital. I won't lie to you.

You know, where the lighting is to make you feel better because there's nothing else they can do. Okay, that's my time. Thank you very much. My name is David. Brinson, everybody. I really like that. The crowd, I don't think they did.

Thank you, Jay. I appreciate you pointing that out. I just, I wasn't sure if you noticed. Oh, I promise you? It was one of the things I was feeling. Some of those things I hadn't thought about since the day, so it was a pretty visceral set for me. I'm glad I could share it all with you. This crowd. Thank you. I think they just needed a minute to absorb it. No, they were clapping

that I was done, and that's fine. We got through it together. I'm not embarrassed. You shouldn't be. I know. He can't hear it. No. I don't know why they're, you can't hear it. We definitely know that. They're like, oh, no, what if his dad is here right now? Dad, if you're here, give us a sign. That was the sound. My God, whenever he was mad, we knew we were really going to get it when he went, he started showing himself through Adam. This is part of the shroom trip.

Your dad is now Adam in the conduit. You have taken enough shrooms. Yes, please. Very supportive, son. You know, those are the words I've always waited to hear from you, Dad. It's just nice. You say to yourself so many times, if I could just get 30 more seconds, he'd be able to tell me he was disappointed, right?

I will. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. All right, folks, let's move on to our next comic. Make it Loud for the Dark Comedy of Paige Wesley, everybody. I tell Dark or fucked up jokes a lot, because I like being invited to Black people's barbecues. And if somebody gets it on video, that's going to be taken away from me.

Eat good ribs. So let's get into it. Art Kelly, can we talk about it? Art Kelly was guilty a long time ago because in college, one of my favorite things to do was to watch Trapped in the Closet with Director's Commentary have experienced the cinematic excellence of Trapped in the Closet with Director's Commentary,

but allow me to paint a picture for you. Most of the time, Director's Commentary is just watching a movie you've already seen and then whoever made it is talking over the movie. movie like in this scene we used a camera angle to suggest this usually boring right not R Kelly I'm pretty sure somebody pitched that to R Kelly and he was like nah I'm not doing that I'm R I gotta do what R do this is the Murphy's solo coaster he's not just gonna have a voiceover

the director's commentary for Tracking the closet is a complete separate film sitting in a lounge chair with a sniffter of brandy and a cigar watching trapped in the closet. And then every once in a while, he turns around to the camera and tells you what's happening on the screen. Now, he doesn't give you any insights into the making of the film. He just turns around and goes like, see, at this point, the midget's about to run out of the cabinet. I'm also here watching this. But even better is that sometimes he forgets he's supposed to. to be talking to you and he just laughs to himself.

So you'll just be watching this film and he's like, ha ha, yeah. Like he totally peed on those guys. No way he didn't. He absolutely did. What a terrifying strange man. Here's my school shooting joke. When I was in high school, they removed a boy from school because they found a list of all of the kids in our class ranked in the order that he would kill them.

Exactly. The song Blue Orchid could not be used because the original file could not be found. Would you like to locate it? I don't think that's why he did it. I can't be sure though. But I had the same thought that I'm sure a lot of you have right now. What number was I? You've got to know, right?

Like, because if I'm top 10, fuck you. I was nice to you. You sat in front of me in math and were super weird, and I didn't say anything about it. But if I'm anywhere above 30, fuck you, I was on student council. I was popular. Doesn't that count for him?

It did not. He was institutionalist. Yeah, it was rough. He was obsessed with this girl named Julia, who was super nice and never talked to him, but he wrote stories about it, and they won't let us read any of them. So sad.

I think probably this is the most fucked up thing I could joke about. I don't joke about it often because I have weird feelings about it. But I had a miscarriage about five years ago. And I started talking about it a little bit now

because a lot of state governments are trying to argue that women shouldn't get care in that type of a situation where they're saying you have to know by eight weeks. And I was eight weeks and I even fucking know.

And I can, prove it because that day I went to the Grand Canyon and an animal preserved called Bear Arizona. Now if you know anything about bears, anyone? Does anyone know the one bear facts that go for it, do it, that they knew, but they came awful close to the car. And just in time, make it aloud for Brian Moses, everybody. Wow, page is set. That was a good. Well done. Well done. Thank you. Thank you. I think I figured it out.

I think I figured out. It wasn't just Ian talking about his dad-dad. It was this crowd is... You guys are very nice. You're very polite. There's a lot of smiling going on. Except for this table, which is laughing like a bunch of fucking maniacs. So what I need everybody to do is try and get on this table's level as much as you can.

What's your vibe? What's your energy level? I'm here and I'm pumped. I'm ready. She's here. pumped, she's ready. Are we here? Are we pumped? Are we ready? Yeah! I like somebody throwing up a sign in the back. Keep that energy alive. You know what? Let's give the person fist pumping in the back a prize right now.

You're going to get this. Tyler. Tell her. Tell her. Tell them. I don't know what, I don't know what you identify is. Tell them what they want. You won some bottomless popcorn from Alma Drafto. What is your name? Rob. Rob. Everybody needs to fucking fist pump like Rob, and we're going to have... That's what we gotta do. Fist pump for miscarriage jokes, all right? Fist pump for dead dad jokes. Fist pump for whatever Brian Moses is about to bring to us right now.

Are we ready for the dark comedy of our final contestant, everybody? Make it loud for Brian Moses, everybody. Brian Moses. This is great. You say dark, dark comedy? Feels like a lazy black joke. All right. We're doing...

We're doing dog jokes, right? Is that we're doing? Love this crowd, by the way. This table right here. Everybody else looks really good-looking. I can understand what you guys are excited because you're the ugliest table here. I get it.

I see why you guys are so happy. You just have to be outside in front of good-looking people, you know? Let you out of your cages. It's fun. They said fucked-up jokes! Shout out the miscarriage. Nature's abortion.

We're doing fucked-up jokes, everybody. You need to get on board here. Here's a quick one, before I go into a long one. I got an uncle. Anybody got family? Yeah. Okay, not everybody.

Didn't mean to flex. Anyway, I got this uncle, and he touched one of our young cousins. Yeah, we were tripping. We were like, what? I ain't know uncle's into black girls. Normally, he just dates white women. This is crazy.

We're doing fucked up jokes, everybody. Get with them to back. If you're not laughing, this means you're racing. you're racist. I got, this is like a choose your own adventure here. I can do, we can do happy birthday to HIV or

I can do a really bad black, Black Lives Matter sex joke, or I'll just do this one. I was reading, and that is a flex. And I learned while reading that Barack Obama Seaman is worth $246 million on the black market.

I don't know what it does in the white market. Amazon.com or Walmart.edu. But that black market is 246 ams. That's almost, that's like, that's a million over a quarter billion. That's crazy. Because now I got

questions. First question, audience, who's down to pull one of the greatest heists in American history? Who's down to pull an ocean's movie? Damn right. It's to be like a Frank It's going to be gay.

It would be like the Italian job, but we're going to call it the Italian blow job. We're going to get that product. Second question, who's pricing the value of semen? Who's a comma praisest? Well, I got to the housing market, I got to the semen market. It's really going to the world for me. Like what MIT grad was just like, what is that, Barack? Give me that. Really good. That's pretty good.

This baroque, semen, this is... Baroque seaman this is oh my god this might be the best black seaman I've ever had and I've had Nelson Mandela's this might be better my god I've had Denzel and Jamie this Jimmy Fox this might be better 246 million this is really good it's the greatest thing ever because then when you know about the you know Barack's you got to think about the other ex-presidents right and I did the research I know them all Jimmy Carter our oldest living ex-president nowhere near Baroque you would think You would think because he's the oldest living person, or earthling.

He's 393 years old. That's rare come. You would think it'd be like, oh my God, that's like a billion. No, it's like 97 million. And it only went up three more million when you got into hospice. They don't like this man. And then I had to like compare it. I was like, well, why is Barack's more?

Like, oh, that makes sense. Brock's, you know, he's tall, he's black. Like, if you get Barack seats inside of you, you might run faster, jump higher, sing better. Or become president. That's the greatest seaman in him. history. The range of that come. Jimmy Carter?

You might get a peanut allergy. You don't want that come. Last two remaining alive presidents, right? Actually, I'll take it back. There's three. Baby Bush, the live bush. His doesn't even scrape the millions. It's like right under it,

you know, because he's a co-khead, so it's a little damage. Yeah, his come? $911,000. That's a 9-11 joke for you people. God it's still being terrorism with that joke. All right, here's the last one. The last two guys, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump. Same price.

$24.99. $24.99. And not because of their bad politics or because they're bad presidents, it's because you can get it anywhere. You can get at the bar right now. All right, that's my time. Thank you, guys.

Showing up late, lighten up the fucking crowd. Nice work. Wow, wow. We'd have our three dirt offerings from everybody. Make some noise for these comedians for bearings and souls. There's some people who I feel like really liked a little bit of everybody's sets. Who do you think, who thinks that Moses had the best darkest set out of everybody? Make some noise if you think Moses had the best darkest set.

What did you like so much about Moses' jokes? It's dead dad. He's not the one with the... It's the one who had the dead dad. She transposed your dead dad onto you. She just assumed you in a dead dad. I love that one, but she doesn't see color. Or anything, really.

You know what? We're going to give you a prize just for that. That was perfect. Tyler, tell her what she's won. She's won some bottles popcorn and a book by Elton Generous. Seriously, I'm not kidding. I got about six of them. Congratulations.

Well done. There you go. What is your name? Irene. Irene. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. We've got it.

We've got it going on. We have, I mean, it seems like Moses has kind of been the takeaway, but who liked Ian's set the best? Who thought Ian had the darkest set? It's pretty good. It's pretty good. I like your hands raised clapping. Those are nice.

What about Paige? Who thinks Paige had the darkest set? I just want to make sure Paige's husband is not clapping for Paige. All right. I paid him. I think, here's what I think might have just happened. I feel like it was pretty close based on the audience response from Ian and Paige.

I feel like, let's make it, one more time, let's just hear it for everybody. Who thinks that Ian had the best set? Who thinks that Paige had the best set? Who thinks that Moses had the best set? It was polite for these two and less polite for Moses. So let's go ahead and give Moses 300 points.

We're going to give 150 points to each of these two. splitting last place. Let's move on to our next round. This is a round called entweetment, everybody. This is a round where we have looked up everybody's old social media posts, and we have blanked out words from their tweets to see if we can guess which were the real tweets.

We have also done this for me, and I don't know what our crack team of Internet researchers has pulled, and I am nervous. I am always nervous for this round. I'm glad you actually included yourself in this. It's a little messed up that you didn't have to tell a story about my dad dying.

Oh, it's Moses' dad now. It's going to switch. All right, let's see what I blanked out. Okay, blank. Someone who is going to be a lawyer in two years. Is that sound familiar, Jay? You remember this? I don't even remember this.

I tweeted as June 2014. 4.15 p.m. 4.15 p.m. We got three likes. I have truly no idea. I have no clue what this could be. What were you doing in 2014? I mean, I was drinking a lot. I was still working at...

I think I was still working at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank. I think we met around this time. We met around this time. You beat me in March Comedy Madness right around this time page. Let's see what our options are here. Is there daytime cocaine? Someone who's going to

be a lawyer in three years. All right, let's see option two. Atticus Finch didn't have a brand. Someone who's going to be a lawyer in two years. Three, Portugal? More like Portuguese. Someone who's going to be a lawyer in two years. That is, actually, that does feel like

that's the most tweet like me, but I don't know, what do y'all think? Let's get some bonus points going. Who thinks they know which tweet was mine? I think Atticus Finch having a brand is actually a little more 2018. Oh. That's true.

It is my favorite answer. But I think it's daytime cocaine. Okay. Daytime cocaine. I'll say this. I won't respect you unless it's daytime cocaine. Fair? Fair.

Moses, what about you? 2016 was a big year for the gays. I'm going to go a Portuguese. What about 2014? Was that also a bigger for the gays? You're ahead of your time. Two years. Two years. Two years. Two years.

Two years. 26 is a big year for the game. Two years from them, yeah. All right, let's see what the real tweet is. It's Portugal. Wow. I don't know if you're booing me or Moses or how actually we all are. I deserve that.

All right. Let's go ahead and start things off. Ian Abramson. Let's see, let's get you in tweeted. Make some noise for Ian, everybody. As he jumps it. All right. My God.

The caged bird blank. Oh. Now, this did pretty well. Two retweets, 21 lights. 10.57 a.m. October 2016. And this is about a month before the election, right? Yeah. Wow. Okay.

Almost to the day. Almost to the day. I don't remember this joke. Let's see if we can jog your memory. I know why the Caged Bird sings I took a pill and a visa. That's a pretty good one. Is it, I know why the Caged Bird takes modern clowning classes? I want it to be that one.

That would be great if it was that one. Or, I know why the Caged Bird only smokes Newport. Now, before you guess, Ian, Paige, Moses, which one do you all think is the real tweet from Ian Abramson? I do think it sings, I took a pill in Abiza, but now that's he only smokes Newport. That's desperately what I want to do. But I think it's the first one.

Moses? I'm going to beg my Angela person. I think that was original draft. So I'm going to go with the only-spoken Newport. Ian, what are you? Do you have any idea? Do you know which one it might be? The only one I can rule out is Newports.

Okay. And why can you rule that one out? I, listen, if anybody knows my brain, it's my dead dad. Moses is dead dad-dad. That's right. Which one? I will guess Ibiza because maybe it's a cultural reference that I'm forgetting. Okay.

The song was popular around that time. It was popular around that time. I do not know the song. Let's find out. Oh, my God. What I would give to see Maya Angelou take modern clowning classes. Who wouldn't love that? Ian, unfortunately you get no points, but that was a good try.

Thank you so much, Ian. Let's bring it up to Paige Wesley. Page, come on up here. All right. Paige Wesley tweeted, some dude just asked me if I was a model, blank. At 8.20 p.m., April 17th, 2013, no likes, no retweets. Yeah, no likes, no retweets.

I don't remember this at all. Everybody seems a little on edge. Remember, Paige tweeted this about herself, whatever she tweeted. Page knows what she looks like. We didn't know what kind of model. It could be trained. Yeah. It'll laugh so hard if that's the punchline that you have.

This is when Paige was modeling for the Lionel Collection in 2014. Ready for the Christmas season. All right, let's see what we got. Some dude just asked me if I was a model. I asked him if he reads Braille. Well-written joke. That's a good joke. Maybe, thank you.

Let's see the other options. Some dude just asked me if I was a model but was jerking off outside Petwoods. I have a lot of car trouble in 2016. Now, you know what? I do remember at some point tweeting about a guy jerking off outside of pet bulls. I don't think it was this, though. I can be wrong. We'll find out. Final option.

Some dude just asked me if I was a model. I just wish he was hot. Frowny face. That man is now her husband. They own a pet boys together. Whisked. Now, before page guesses, Ian, Brian. What do y'all think? Which one do you think is the real tweet? I respect the joke structure of the first one. I'm gonna go with the second one. And Moses, what about you?

I feel like in 2013, you know, Paige was single. I'm gonna go with pep boys. Okay, okay. It's two for two, Paige. What about you? I think it might I think it's braille. I think it's braille. I hope that my joke structure was that solid at that point. Let's find out. It was Paige, you're gonna get some points. You know what, let's give me a hot 50 points just for getting close with that one. A hot 50. All right, let's find out

Brian Moses' fucked up tweet. Make some noise for Moses, everybody. This is a... Now, I tell you, we had a field day looking at three-year-old tweets, Moses. This is one of my favorite rounds to put together.

My girl, blank. August 31st, 2015. One retweet, 9. lights. At 6 p.m. Yeah. Do you have any idea what you might have been doing around this time? Yeah, she was after happy hour. I'll probably say a lot of things in 2015. Out of hot things on August 31st. Let's see if we can guess. My Girl thinks black.com is an HBCU or Freedal website.

A lot of people out there pretending they don't know what black.com is. Great. Option two. My girl doesn't make me wash my hand before fingering confidently option three my girl gets a tear drop tattoo for every abortion they got some more and more in pain at all of the tweets oh man now before you guess Moses which one do you two think is the real tweet I've got to go to black dot com I got to go with black I got to go with black dot black dot com I would say the hand washing sounds more like a Jamar neighbor's tweet, so I'm going to go with black.com. Black.com.

Somebody out here yelled fingered. Who thinks it's the fingered one? A lot of people. Oh, my God. Adam, do you have an inkling why it's the fingered one? Yeah, because that is the most dirtiest, funniest one out of all. Wow. Wow.

Wise. I don't think he goes a black dot com. I love it. I don't think you must know a black dog. Let's find out. It's the tear track deck. I miss her. I really did miss that.

And I knew that that was the one. And I knew you knew that was the one. I knew you knew. Let's give Moses points for that. Let's give, you know what? You know what? They do deserve some applause. I think that's the right call.

I think we're going to give anybody who... If there's anybody who legitimately doesn't know what black.com is, raise your hand right now. All right. All right. All right. Everybody who doesn't know, keep your hands up. You're going to get a book from Ellen DeGeneres.

Congratulations. Jay, Jay. Jay, can... Hey, guys. It's filthy. Jay, may I have a black person explain to the audience what black.com is? Yes. Is there a black person in the audience willing to, I didn't mean to walk right towards you, I apologize.

Oh, perfect. I was just trying to see, and you don't want to do it either. But who else wanted an Ellen DeGeneres book? Oh yeah, you do it. Go for it. All right. I found the black guy. You found the other, the one...

Now, this guy's a star of black.com. Can you explain to the audience what black.com is? Certainly. It is a pornographic website that features black guys having sex with white women there. You know, I'll just. That's it. Well said. Well said.

It's a little more complex than that nuance. Okay. You should give a prize for him. You can just be a white woman and have sex with a redburn on black.com. That's one free ticket for a year at Almond Drapedus for no. It's our first time having sex on film with a black man. Wow. Yeah.

Not to be confused with Black Raw, which has just the camera light on there instead of the proper studio lighting. We did our research for this game, folks. All right. There you go. That was in Tweet. And let's go ahead and move on to our next round. Yorgo, what just happened? All right.

Nope. This is a, there we go. Round three. This is a round called Above the Line Above the Law. Now, here at the Ammo Draft House, it's our first time the Alamo Draft House. I'm sure we got some big fans, the Ammo Draft House. Let's make sure I have you love. And I'm on Draft House.

This is around for the movie buffs out there, all right? This is some movie trivia, but not your normal movie trivia, all right? This is a game, you know, most movie trivia, you might guess what a movie somebody starred in was. Right? You might guess a star who is in that movie. But in this one, we are going to guess what crimes were committed during movies. We're going to guess who committed crimes during various movies. Now, I'll give you an example.

It's a pretty easy one. This is a movie called Gallow Walkers. All right? Nobody's ever heard of Gallo Walkers? Neither did we. But somebody in the cast of Gallo Walkers was arrested for tax evasion. Now, do we have any guesses? Who it might be out of these three people? Was it Nicholas Cage?

Was it Diamond Dallas Page? Was it Wesley Snipes? We all know it was Wesley Snipes. Rob knows it's Wesley Snipes. It's Wesley Snipes. The star of Gallo Wally's. Gallauders. Live by the gun, die by the gun, come back for more. If he had done that, his taxes would have been paid. Absolutely. If he hadn't embezzled on the set of Galawakers,

we've never heard of it. The IRS has, but... He was arrested, so this, they tracked him down in Namibia while he was in hiding from this. He went to jail, wasn't around to promote the movie. It finally came out on DVD, seven years after principal photography. and five months after Wesley Snipes himself got out of prison. Now, for bonus points, you guys, what is the Rotten Tomatoes score that Gallo Walker's hat?

Ian? I'm going to go with 23%. 23%. Is this Price is right rules? Yes, prices right rules. I'm going to go to 37%. All right, 37%. 6.9.

Rob, Adam, what do you think it is? 4%. 4%. Zero. Zero. We got a hot zero. What's your name? Dan. I mean, that's about as low as it's going to go.

Rob, do you want to throw in a guess? 17%. Let's see what that Rotten Tomato score is. It's got 11% from the audience, four other tomato meter. Funnier by Axiott than Adam Sandler is on purpose. The hottest review. You know what that means?

That means Dan gets a prize for guessing closest to over. Do you see that the tomato meter has four reviews, but over 500 audience members have reviewed this? Well, I thought it was interesting. I don't believe more than 500 people have seen this still. It's got to be like 501. That's the plus. All right, so now we're going to play the game for real. Now that we know how the game works, this is a movie called Domestic Disturbance.

Nobody's heard of this movie? Neither had we. But somebody from this movie got arrested for misdemeanor assault. Which one of you guys? Not me? it was which one of these guys. Thinks it was John Travolta, Vince Vaughn, or Steve Buscemi. I'm going to go with Vince Vaughn.

Vince Vaughn, okay, that's a good guess. I'm also going to go with Vince Vaughn because I think I've seen as Mug Shop. Okay, we got a Vince Vaughn, too Vince Vaughn. Didn't Travolta, like, slap somebody? I think he did. All right, Travolta. He drove to Massuse at one point.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Has anyone seen domestic disturbance? Nope. All right, nobody knows. Domestic disturbance. The correct answer is... It's Fitzfine! Tramond's in it!

I know, but he got arrested during the making of this movie. Oh, wow. Now, he was in a bar brawl. Steve Buscemi, who's also in this movie, was involved in the bar brawl, all right? Steve Buscemi, now Vince Bond got arrested, but Steve Buscemi was actually hospitalized.

I know. He was hospitalized in the making of this movie. So, for bonus points, what was he hospitalized with what happened to Steve Bouchembe. Ian. Head injury. Head injury. Head injury. I'm gonna go head injury as well, concussion.

Okay, concussion. I like the specificity. Brian? Ooh, at a bar? At a bar? Nasty bar? A nasty bar in North Carolina. Hepatitis. Hepatitis. Let's see. He was arrested. He was stabbed. He was stabbed right there.

He got stabbed in the neck. That's a head injury. And he got stabbed above the eye. That is a head injury. Let's give him for Ian for being. impression and knowing how to get some points on that one. Good job. O.J. Seppson. Yes. He was involved.

Royal scandals, O.J. Simpson. He doesn't stab everybody. This is footage we found of Steve Bouchemmy after the bar brawl. He's right there. Now, some people might be wondering, why did Steve Bushemi get stabbed? What's the motive? And, of course, anyone else, he doesn't tip. So, of course. But hey, you guys know, you guys should tip. The bar staff.

Here, I'm not about draft test. You got Moses by the bar. We got Thomas our sound guy. We got Sidney. Make a level more time for him. And tip your bar step. And tip them unless you want to wind up like this. They're working hard.

Unless you want to wind up like this. You don't want to do that. Let's move on to our next movie. The Squeeze. A golf movie. The Squeeze. Somebody was arrested for driving under the influence while making this movie. Was it?

Michael Keaton. Meat Loathe. Or Christopher. McDonald. Shooter McGavin. The one and only. I'm gonna go see. We got Shooter McGavin.

We got, Paige, is it your guest? You locking it in? Yeah, I'm gonna say Shooter McGavin. We got two for Shooter McGham. I am just excited to be able to choose meatloaf. Ian loves to choose meatloat. Does anyone seem to squeeze? No, nobody knows.

Does anyone know his idea? Let's find out. It is. Shooter McGavin. Wow. The Squeeze. It's a golf movie. There is actually another movie called The Squeeze, starring Michael Keaton.

We found this. This is the real poster for the movie The Squeeze. Starring Michael Keaton. And Meatlo. Very ahead of its side. It's not. It's a steel beef. Now, we should have known.

He was arrested for a D.Y wearing the same shirt he wore on set. It's the same exact plaid shirt. but for bonus points he was arrested for DUI he did tell the cops that he was in Happy Gilmore to try and get out of being arrested for bonus points what did Shooter McGavin's public statement about

this movie about this abreast what did he say public statement he kept it short just happy to be nominated That's a great one I was in character It's pretty good.

Moses, what about you? I don't know. I got nothing for this guy. He's got nothing for this guy. Absolutely nothing for this guy. But let's see. The correct answer is, Shoot or shoot!

The official statement from Shooter McGavin himself. The king. The king. All right. I think it's time for our final run of this round. This is a movie called The Good Lie. It's about Sudan. and somebody from this movie got arrested for obstruction of justice

while they were making this movie. For obstruction of justice. Was it Corey Stoll? Was it Reese Witherspoon? Or was it Wesley Snipes? All three of these choices I had complicated feelings about it. Wow. I know.

It's a tough call. It's tough pick. I'm going to go with Reese Witherspoon. Okay. Rees Witherspoon, that's one for Reese. We had some audience votes for Reese as well, I think. I was going to pick Reese Witherspoon. for the chaos.

Yeah, Reese Witherspoon, fucker. Reese Witherspoon. Before I make my pick, why is Corey Stoll tying that tie around his hand and he's about to, like, hang himself or something? What's going on with that? That's the... Very two other times.

Yeah. Tie around his neck. Yeah. That's the longest tie I've ever seen. Yeah, is that, like, ironic expixiation? Is that what's about to happen? I don't know, but it's working for me a bit. Pep boys. I'm going to go to Wesley Snipes.

Wesley Snipes, it is Reese Witherspoon. America's sweetheart, Academy Award winner, also got arrested for obstruction of justice. Her husband was getting arrested for DUI, and she decided to pop off. We actually have footage of the arrest. Ma'am, what did I just say you today? I'd like to know what's going on. I'm a U.S. citizen. I'm a love to stand on American playground and ask.

Any question I want to ask. Good. Go on. You better not arrest me. Are you kidding me? I'm an American citizen. I told me. She didn't be on.

I'm arresting me for obstruction justice. It will be in the national news. I just want to let you know. That's fine. She didn't give a shit. She did not give a shit. That's fine. That's fine.

I heard what is the what's our bonus question oh that's right okay so she did we didn't have this on tape she did try and tell the cops uh reasons to get out of being arrested besides that she's an American citizen and that she should be able to do whatever she wants what was her excuse for trying to get out of being arrested Ian oh boy can I pass you can pass you can ask the audience the audience does seem like they might know what it is we have one We have one answer. We have one guess. We have two guesses.

She might have had a bag of blow on her. Oh. Okay. So she told the cop she had a bag of blow on her to try and not get arrested for a lesser crime. That's the answer I'm going with. Okay. I don't think you want

cruel intentions. Oh, boy. Wow. He made me go all the way over there just to make a fucking movie pun. You didn't have a real answer. I wasn't going to give him prize. I'm taking it away.

This movie was originally called Bigley Brunette. Do you have any guesses in the 80s what she might have been lying in the cops about to try and get out of this arrest? She was on her way to vote. She was on her way to vote. That's a good answer. That was a good answer.

The drop boxes. I'm going to say that she noticed that the cop had showered, which would have destroyed his perm, thus deactivating your mom. Now that's how you make a movie reference. All right? Well done.

Adam. Moses, what about you? Shoot or shoot? Let's see what it was. She did this. She lied about being pregnant during her arrest. This is from the article.

I had no idea what I was saying that night. I literally panicked. I said all kinds of crazy things. I told them I was pregnant. I'm not pregnant. Crazy thing. This picture of her trying her best. That's a...

And that's that round, everybody. Make sure I'd call for me. Now, Tyler, before we get to the last phase of the game, how's everybody doing, how are our scores, how are our points doing? This is an insanely close game. Brian came in, he was getting all the points at the beginning, and then he kind of fell flat. We saw.

Everybody caught up. And so, right now, Brian's and third, tied in third, with 500 points. Okay. With Ian, with 500 points. And Paige is in the league with 550. Wow. This is a tight game.

Everything could change after our next round, but before we get to that, here's a quick word from our sponsor. Did you know that Google searches about mushrooms have increased by 850% in the last month? It's probably because mushrooms are loaded with people by its other essential nutrients. Mushrooms. Those are reason people are talking about us. We just learned about the reason why people are talking about us. And we want to clear up a few things. Mushrooms are a healthy snack on the go.

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All right. It is time for our next round, the discomfort zone. This is one of my favorite rounds. of the show. What we have done is we have tailored some questions to our individual contestants here that are uncomfortable, specifically

for them. And, I know, we've done some deep diving, we've done some research, we've asked the tough questions, and they've got to answer them in the funniest way possible. Do we think that they are ready for it? Yeah.

The front tables absolutely do. What about the back tables? Do we think that they're ready to find out? That's the spirit. All right. Let's start things out. Ian Abramson, please. Enter the the Super Zone. You used to work on a show called Gary Busey Pet Judge. That is correct. Now, this is the show, Ian,

what exactly was your role on the show? I was not supposed to be there. No, I'm just kidding. I was doing the post-case interviews, so they would talk to Gary Busey about their pet case, and then they would come out, and I would have to talk with them. That's not the same Jackie you're wearing right now, is it? exact same job.

All right. Okay, great. Okay, great. And what was this guy? Do you remember anything about this monkey guy's name? I don't remember the actor. I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but good thing it's being taped. Someone, one of the extras made themselves get bit by an animal so that they could then sue. Oh.

Great. Didn't even need to get that, but I'm so glad we did. All right. That's the, oh. We have a trailer for Gary Bucy Pet Judge. Those who want their cases tried by the best. No, there's only one man they can turn to, and he is thirsty. And, justice!

You go. Now, where can they watch this if they want to see it? I think this is on Amazon Prime. Okay. You know, things move around. You're welcome. That makes sense. Don't care of music.

So you can watch Gary Becey Pet Judge, if you would like. But which animals are more difficult to work with than Gary Busey? That is your ultimate question. Wow. Oh, man. This is for the points. Yeah, this is perfectly designed to make me uncomfortable, because I'm fine embarrassing myself.

I'm not trying to slander the good name of Gary Busey or animals, you know? Let's see. I only saw Gary Busey for a little bit. No further questions. He had a big smile on his face. No further questions. And he was very nice to me, so that would make a raccoon harder to work with.

Okay. Are we satisfied with that answer audience? All right. Boo, if you're unsatisfied with that answer. You've really disappointed Moses' dad tonight with an answer. Wow. I don't know if we can give you, we'll give you any points for that, but you still have a chance because we have a harder question for you than this one.

I forgot that this was for points. I'm getting serious now. Let's do it. All right. All right. Here's your hard question. Oh, Jesus. So we know, Ian, you are a huge fan of R. L. Stein. I am.

Ian has tweeted at R.L. Stein throughout his career. A lot in 2016, according to this graph. We actually reached out, we got a message from Aral Stein. He said, hi Ian, stay scary, Aral Stein. To prepare you for this question. Now, unfortunately, I don't know if you've heard, but after Roll Dull, Aral Stein and the Goosebombs' books have been the latest to get the quote-unquote woke treatment.

They have edited parts out of R.L. Stein's books that have been deemed objectionable. Okay. So you're a big fan of Aral Stein. These are actual changes. And we want to know which one of these changes you wish in stated print as an R. L. Stein fan. Is this? Would you rather keep a character wearing blackface for Halloween, which happened in a goosebumps book?

Would you rather keep a white character summoning ghost slaves to help him solve a mystery? Which happened in a goosebumps book. Or would you rather the phrase he had brown skin and acted real cool like the rappers and MTV videos stand? which is a phrase from a real goosebunk book. Which one do you think deserves to stay? Okay. I have a strong argument for the one you're expecting least. Okay. I firmly believe that it is a mistake to pretend

like we didn't normalize blackface in this country. And so I think that we should make it stay because that's what they say in front of Looney Tunes cartoons. No one. Okay. Maybe this table's with you. Yeah, yeah. This table is incredibly supportive. Keep the bartenders and this table.

I actually think that's a great answer, and I think we should give you some good points for that. Ian, well done. We're going to get Ian the full 500 points for his answer there. Can I summon some ghost slaves for a beer? All right, let's move on. Paige Wesley, please enter the discomfort zone. Welcome, Welcome, Paige.

Make some noise for Paige, everybody. All right. You went to my podcast website. We did. All right. For those of you don't know, Paige has a wonderful podcast about cults. It's called a cult podcast.

It's a podcast about cult, duh. You are a cult expert, would you say? Yeah, sure. Okay. I've been in a documentary. Oh, shit. So you're an expert on cults. Which cult would you join?

Oh, you'd areas. Immediately. Like, I, people ask me this all the time. I'm dead-ass serious. Unarius are a group of people that live today in San Diego, California, active, and they believe that there's no such thing as fiction, just shared memories. So in their minds, Star Wars just happened to us, and we're just remembering past lives, and they meet weekly to do crafts about their past.

I've been to visit them, like, yeah, I'm down. Fan fiction, the religion. Yes. It's great. That's pretty good. Thank you. I thought at first you were just saying unanimous wrong.

I'm glad that I was proven out. I was not going to call it out. I wasn't. I'm glad I didn't. Now I feel like the dumb dumb, and I should. If you're curious, they made a bunch of videos

about their past lives that you can watch on YouTube, and they are bad. It's great. We have to look some of those up. Also, everything on Netflix. Yes. It's our memory.

Outer Banks. Is it cold? I don't know if you know, I lived Bridgeton. You're welcome. All right. Let's go ahead and give page full 300 points for that. That's a really solid answer.

But now, another cold question for the cult expert. You've heard a fuck Mary kill. This is Fuck Mary Kill your whole family. We want to see which cult leader you would let kill your entire family. Not that you

would kill yourself. Your choice. are Charles Manson, Jim Jones, David Koresh. I'm about to drop some facts that'll wreck some parties. Let's go. Alright. Charles Manson never killed anybody. In case you don't know, his followers did, and he chickened out. So I'm gonna have him killed, because he'll never go through it. Wow!

Now, fuck, you have to go Jim Jones, because he had the biggest dick of all of them. That's on record. Wait, how big was Jim Jones' dick? Jones' dick. Allegedly dude was rocking like nine to ten inches of pint. Oh my god. I would drink that goulin. Now here's the thing. I don't want to marry David Koresh, but he was also married to like 14 other people, so I'm not going to have to see him that much. Charles Manson kills Jim Jones opens your heavens gate and David does the marry. That's a great answer. Paige Wesley everybody.

That's a full 500 points I think. Paige is crushing it in this round. Well done Let's go ahead and bring it up to Brian Moses. All right. This is the easy question. This is the first thing. How many Teardrop hats tattoos have you bought for your girl? How many have I bought? How many of you bought?

We need to be true or what should be funny about this? Uh... Bo? Let's sit here. I'd say, what was my first roast battle check season one? Uh... I'm kidding. I've never bought a teardrop.

Teardrop. Okay. Tattoo for a lady now. But you were funny about it. So you know what? Did you at least like go havesies? Yeah. He bought the ink and she bought the gun?

You paid for the tattoo. She paid for the procedure. No, we normally do it well because my first girlfriend had a miscarriage, so every year we celebrate its supposed birthday. Okay. Yeah, the miscarry baby. How old a birthday are you on now? 21.

Nice. We were drinking extra this year for them. We think they're non-binary, so. That dead baby's drinking in heaven with Ian's dad. That's wonderful. My dad. It's pretty racist of you to think the black guy wouldn't have a dad, right? I'll meet him in heaven, sure.

Let's give, unfortunately, I think you deserve a few points. We'll give you 100 points for that, just because you did have a funny answer. I think 100 points, does that sound fair to y'all from others? Shout out my name. Shout out my dick, shit. Well, let's see how you do with the hard question. All right, Moses, would you rather never be allowed to date a white woman again? I'll pass.

Or have George Floyd still be alive? Oh my God. So this is going to be the hard question, Moses, I told you. What I know. I mean, we always know the other. You know, all right, how about this? I would remember. For the cause, because I saw George Floyd's sex tape and I want to see a sequel

on black.com. It is on black.com. We can look at it up in reference for this video. I want to have sex with the white women, and he will, and I'll produce all of it. I'll produce every sex film that he does if he's still alive today, and we only have sex with white women, and that would be my gift to him. There you go. I think that's a great answer.

Sacrificing my white privilege. Lives matter. All right? In Moses, everybody. That's another 500 pointer. Everybody, I just got to say, everybody crushed it with the hard questions. That was a really, that was an incredible round.

Makes noise for all these contestants. Unfortunately, one of them is going to be solidly in third place and going home. Well, not, you're still going to be up here, don't you worry. The rest of us don't get to go home. Not yet. We live here in the house.

We're going to sleep in the green room. We're going to use the posters, blankets. Tyler. I just bought a house. I can't live here now. Who's our third place contestant? Well, unfortunately, Ian didn't want to talk too much about Gary Busey, so he is in third place with 1,000 points. But he doesn't go on with nothing, Jay.

What? Tell him what he won! Well, he lost in a blowout, so he's going to get blowout. A book I found on my street. And if you look inside, Jay, look inside that front cover, it still has the receipt from Costco in it. It does. Wow. They bought this book, another book that starts with Lost and some tissues. That's true.

Yeah, this was a masturbation purchase. This book is in pristine condition, and now it's for you. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Thank you. All right. Let's go ahead and kill that prize music. We can start with the final round, everybody. Hold on.

Our tech guy, he's fine. Oh, there he goes. Okay, great. Look at that. Make some noise for our tech guy. You order our chiefs for everybody. He's been drinking the entire time during the show. And it's finally all caught up with him.

It's all good. All right. We have our palate cleanse around everybody. Now, we've had a bunch of fucked up stuff said this whole night, all right? But we now want to make sure everybody leaves with a nice taste in their mouths. We want you to come back.

We want you to tell other people about this show. So we're going to see how we're going to cleanse everybody's palettes with everybody's telling us their sweetest, nicest, most wholesome joke that they got. We're going to get there. We're going to get nice. Ian, even though you have no chance of winning, we still want to hear your wholesome joke

So Ian cleanse our palettes, everybody. Makes noise for Ian Abramson. What if this is when I chose to take my penis out? You know what? That is what I'm gonna do. I can like Jim Jones down there. At this point, our reset for our final two competitors. So we're just gonna see who cleanses our palettes the best.

Make it loud from Paige Wesley, everybody. Paige, please. Come on up. I just want everyone to realize that those have been in Ian's pants all night. And if he hadn't had the chance to tell that joke he would have had to go home. Oh, that's amazing. I'll tell this, my husband's here tonight.

He's super hot, and that's awesome for me. Thank you. But he's so hot that people don't believe we're together a lot of the time. Like, people see us on the street, and they're like, damn, is she double-joined it or something? Like, what am I missing? What does she have, like, no gag reflex?

How's this worse? That's it. I'll leave it at that. Brian, enjoy winning. Paige Wesley, everybody. Thank you for your wholesome joke. And now let's see the pallet cleanser from Brian Moses, everybody. Brian, motherfucking Moses. I'm excited to see what you dug into your phone to find out. All right.

All right, hi, everybody. Let me move this to avoid confusion. Thank you. That's my time, everybody. Wow. Those fucking clean. Moses and Paige, both of you please come up here. We're going to do this old, we're going to this old fashion.

We're going to do this applause to meter style. Please come stand up right up here, guys. Moses said auctioneer style, and unfortunately... My favorite sigh song. Nobody paid attention to it. Somebody goes away. And they should have. All right.

If you think that Paige Wesley had the cleanest joke of the palate cleanser, make some noise. Makes noise for Paige. If you think that Brian Moses had the cleanest joke of the pallet cleanser, makes your noise. On home empty-handed, Tyler, tell everybody what they want. Well, go in the second place, you want a book.

It's John. It's four trials by John Edwards. That book I got from Eldigenerous when she left the show at Warner Brothers, where I got all the other books. And your grandpies to Moses, he went, you can say, what's it called? It's from John Edward. It's Afterlife by John Edward. And they put up that webpage.

It's signed. It's a signed copy. Alde Generous. And now, he signed X, X, X, X. He's inside. That is a fact. This is the inscription that said, Dear Peter, you are dead inside.

X, X, X, X, X, X, J. Edward. Free ticket. This has been wrong. I've been Jay Lai. We had Ian Abramson. Folks, thank you all for listening. I would just like to have a few acknowledgments.

I'd like to first thank the other members of the wrong team, Tyler Meznor, Yorgo Architas, and Melanie Meisner. Thank you to our Patreon subscribers, Don Fardo, Joe Ammer, Richard, Abigail Shane, Hunter Patterson, Marcellina, and Molly Green. If you'd like to get full access to the video episodes and get a shout out here, you could subscribe on Patreon for as little as $1 a month at patreon.com slash wrong game show.

Please follow us on all the socials at Wrong Game Show. And, of course, the best way to experience the show is live. Our next shows are in Austin on Tuesday, August 22nd, 8 p.m. at Sunset Strip, ATX, Los Angeles on Saturday, August 26th, 8 p.m. at Alamo Draft House, and San Diego on Saturday, September 2nd, 10 p.m. at Mike Drop Comedy Club. You can get tickets at beacons.a.I. slash wrong game show. All of the links for all of this are in the show notes. And until next time, I've been Jay Light. Stay wrong.