WRONG! A Fucked Up Game Show - #16 – CUM, TEARS, & VOMIT (ft. Matt Stanton, Pippa Spindel, Willie Macc)

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

Recorded live at Mic Drop Comedy Club in San Diego, CA, 2/17/24.OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS: Matt Stanton, Pippa Spindel, Willie MaccSUPPORT THE SHOW AND ACCESS FULL VIDEO EPISODES ON PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠���⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/wronggameshow⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠COME SEE US LIVE!⁠⁠⁠ Upcoming Shows:LA: ⁠⁠3/14 @ Lyric Hyperion, 9:30 PM⁠ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to another podcast episode of Wrong. I'm your host Jay Light, and today we have for you another show from San Diego. Good old Mike Drop Comedy Club. We have a really great lineup on this show. Matt Stanton, Pippa Spindell, and Willie Mack. This show was an absolute blast. And if you're in San Diego, you can come catch us again soon. The ticket link will be posted in a little. while, but it's going to be April 27th, so mark your calendars now. If you want to come see the show live, this is the best way to come see the show, by the way. We're going to be in L.A. next Thursday at L.A. making our L.I. Hyperion debut. That show's going to be great. We got Amy Silverberg, Carmen Morales, and Paige Gallagher. Tickets are available. $10 early early, $15 at the door. So buy those tickets early. You can get them. The ticket link is posted in the show notes. if you don't already, follow us on all the social media platforms

at Wrong Game Show. And if you like the show, tell a friend, leave a review, and we can't wait to see you. Without further ado, let's get wrong. Live from the mic drop in sunny San Diego, California. It's Wrong. A fucked-up game show. Let's make it land for your host.

Welcome to Wrong, everybody. Welcome to a fucked-up game show. Oh my God. Has anybody Has anybody been to this show before? Makes noise you've been to this show before? No, all newcomers. Hell yeah. This is what I like to hear. Who has got a fucked up sense of humor? This is fantastic.

I'm worried for you to YouTube and make any noise. But you're sitting in the front. And I believe in you too, all right? I just want to emphasize, I believe in you too. Because you've dressed like you've got a fucked up sense of humor. That's what I think of your own too. This is what I need to hear. Tyler, by the way, let's make some noise for Tyler.

Tyler, my man in the back. He's making a horror. Hello. What are your names? What's your name? Whitney. Whitney and Luke, let's go ahead and give Whitney and Luke a hundred points each to start off with Tyler.

They're going to be doing great. Everything with the show. This is a game show, and we have comics here who are going to be trying to get prizes, but the audience gets some prizes too. So keep... Yeah, we like to hear that. If you filled out the sheet, tell us why you had a fucked up week. Just make sure that we get it back to Melanie,

because you could be getting some prizes. Oh, no, we'll figure it out. We'll talk to them. You still could get prizes over the course of the show. We just ask them why their week was fucked up. You guys come up with a good one. You didn't get a chance to say, why is your week fucked up? You want to say?

Me? Yeah, whoever was concerned. What's your, what's your name? Amanda. Why was your week fucked up, Amanda? Oh, seventh graders are little perverts. Oh, fuck those little seventh grade 12-year-old perverts. No, thank you. Their balls haven't even dropped yet. Are they trying to fuck you, Amanda? Oh, God.

Makes a noise for Amanda. Try a nice. Keep a job. Do they say weird, fucked up things to you all the time? Yeah. Oh, gosh. I feel like I would be one of those 12-year-olds, so sorry on my behalf from the past. Wait, does she have something weird and fucked up right there at the top of the head that you can tell us about?

What is the most fucked up thing? A 12-year-old, excuse me, for just one second. I'm just going to cut past here for a second. Yeah. My seventh grade, so she's in my class, and one of the boys. told her he would like to be her stepfather. Honestly, I think your daughter should date that child. That is a strong move.

Let's give Amanda a couple points now. Let's make her Amanda gets a couple points. Definitely points. And I know he's not here. Let's give this confident future stepfather a few hundred points. All right, I have a few points. Yeah, all right. A few.

Folks assembled some of the finest comics in the city to tell you some fucked up jokes. We're gonna be doing all sorts of games across the show. You're gonna get to see some things that we found out about our comics that is a little bit fucked up. Some dark stuff, some uncomfortable stuff. You're ready to laugh at some dark and uncomfortable things?

I have a feeling that we are. I have a feeling we are based on the fact we've already laughed at a woman who might have a 12-year-old stepfather in the future. This is gonna be a great time. I'm really excited. Let's go ahead and start things off

with our first round. Let's get fucked up. This is around. Change rounds. this is a show where we give points not like other game shows. Most games shows you want people to save things right. Not here. We want people to save things. Bingo! Right? Negative 100 points

right out of the game. We have asked these comics that are on the show tonight to tell us their most fucked up set. It can be dark, it can be dirty, but it will definitely be wrong. So we're going to find out what they think is fucked up. So let's go ahead and meet our first contestant he was featured on Dave Cooleyer's Oh wait actually Tyler Do you want to do a fucked up joke before him

Do you think we good Tyler's gonna show you how it's done Just to give the tenor of what's going on Tyler usually gets to be up the stage This is the only time Tyler gets to be on stage When we come to San Diego He just hams it up Make some noise for Tyler everybody

That's pretty good Hey yeah Jay's learning out of your scene All right Hey yeah this is a military town right All right I'll tell you I never understood that movie Forrest Gump. I'll just tell you why.

Did we really let retarded people fight in Vietnam? I'm just going to say it. We let retarded people fight in Vietnam. I'm just saying, like, this guy walked on a bus. He introduced himself first and last name, and somebody was like, yeah, just tell him to shoot yellow people. We'll figure that shit out. It's fine.

Yeah? The movie is very confusing, right? It is a very confusing movie. This dude didn't understand that touchdown meant stop running. and he's still graduated from the University of Alabama. It's pretty cool. I would say the most confusing part of that movie, though, has got to be that, you know, if you've seen it, no spoilers.

But, you know, the guy, he fucks his girl, the girl he's obsessed with, he fucks Jenny one time. They have a baby. And neither him or the baby get AIDS. You know that? You know, that's what Jenny died of. She died of AIDS, you know? Yeah, that's true.

All right? You guys don't learn his stuff here. A lot of people did not understand the context of that, but, but that's what we've learned. We're learning about Forrest Gump, a lot of it. But, you know, to be fair, I've never met a retired person with AIDS. Maybe that's what the extra chromosome does. It fights AIDS. All right, thank you guys very much.

Tyler Messnerch, everybody. The Forrest Gump of this show. All right. Now you know what we're in for. Let's go ahead and bring out our first contestant. He was featured. on Dave Cooleyer's The Clean Guys of Comedy. So we can guarantee you haven't seen him until right now,

as we're bringing him to the stage. Makes a noise for Matt Stanton, everybody. Matt Stanton. Now, appreciate it. All right. So it's in a green room with Dave Cooleyer. You don't know stress. Sitting there for four days without asking anything about...

So is that Atlanta song trip? What, are we going to talk about hockey? That's what he wanted to talk about. Anyway, thanks for having. So, Valentine's Day just happened. That's fun, right? Yeah. I saw some people get into the Valentine's Day spirit.

There was a gentleman in front of me at CBS this week. He only had two items in his hands. One, he had a box of magnum actual arts condoms. And in the other, he had a get-well-soon card. And Edison's chivalry, I don't know what is. You know, you hold on to that thing, if you can. Try both hands. There we go.

So San Diego, good spot to date, right? People like dating here? San Diego is a great place to date. X, Y, is a military. Thank you for your service, and thank you for not being emotionally available. All right. Women say they like men in uniform.

That should be followed by at first. I understand, my dad's a cop. I wouldn't be here if he didn't look good in a uniform. Yeah. Being a cop, that's a tough job, you know? You have to deal. with some of the worst people of society, you know? Other police officers.

I know I'm making fun of cops and military, so a bunch of guys who work out are pissed at me right now. Don't worry, military, you do a lot. You do keep gonorrhea around. It's on the rise. Don't know how... Oh, never mind. I know exactly how.

It's called PB. Anyway, teacher, I'm with you. This is not fun. These little kids are monsters. they are. Last year, there was a comic movie that came out. It was about Thor, and there were some concerned parents on a Fox News message board.

You know, I spend my time wisely. Some people were complaining, they're like, hey, talk about orgies in that movie. I don't want my son to think they can be part of an orgy. All right, concerned Midwest parent. Your kid has a better chance of shooting electrodes out of his fingers than ever being invited to an orgy. I don't get this.

Sex education for boys should be very easy. Little seventh graders, sit them down, look them right in the eye and say, not nearly as many women want to have sex with you when you get older. That's the entire lesson. It shouldn't be a weird, sign a note from your parents. One sentence, that is it.

I'm marginally handsome and maybe half a woman in the world once to have sex with me. I don't know what this little dork can. I've marginally been on television. and that kid thinks he can do something? I don't think so. All right, every guy in here, we're going to do a math problem.

Get that number in your head of a number of women you think want to have sex with you. Do you have it? Divide it by 10,000. That's the correct answer. Ladies, got to be fair. That number? Get that number. People you think want to know you biblically.

Get that number. And times it by a billion. Because, men and a quarter of women are disgusting. Speaking to that, I'm a runner. I like to run, and I got done with a run Thursday morning. I was walking my two dogs, and this guy did a U-turn in the street and came up to me and said,

oh, I think you're handsome. Can I do an only fan's video with you? So obviously my workouts are killing it right now because... But at first you're like, oh, this is weird. And then you go, oh, that's kind of nice. And then you go, that's fucking creepy. I only need this to happen 99 more times to feel like an average woman.

All right. I only have like 20 more seconds left so I can't do my next joke. But anyway, thanks for coming out. You're going to love the show. Matt Stanton, everybody. Matt Stanton, everybody. What a way to start us off. Thank you.

All right, folks. Let's go ahead and kick things going with our next contestant. She is from Washington. DC so if you were in the Capitol on January 6th she has got you pegged make some noise for Pippa Spendell-Spendell what did you order that you got a teapot with a clown nose a drive you home I would rather you not do we have drinkers and drivers in the room it's a dark show you it's yourself but here I try not to though like I know you have to hold my phone all right that was the warm up but I feel like

We'll get into it now. You guys trust me. This is a bit of an edgy joke now. Jewish women, very annoying, which is something I can say as both a female and an anti-Semites. This joke did a lot better before October 7th. Do we get bonus points if we bring up Gaza? Just asking now.

I mean, I think the anti-Semitic. movement is great for so many reasons. I do have one teeny tiny problem with it, just like one small little thing. And I'm telling you this as a Jew. I have to put that out there. It's that we have been self

deprecating first. Like, hating Jews was always our actresses of being Jewish. It's the big nose, the frizzy hair, and zero self-esteem. Like, literally all of our holidays celebrate a time in history when people tried to kill us. We live for that.

So if you're going to make a whole movement around hating Jews, like, the least you could do is invite us into it, you know? Like, my grandma could do some serious damage. That woman has been married and divorced three times. We're the old guy's named Jacob. But after, you guys didn't need to laugh at that. That was for me. And my poor mom, after each divorce, like, these guys, they wouldn't just move out of the house. They would move, like, out of the neighborhood, you know?

Like, put some money behind that woman. She could wipe out all of New York City. I want to All right, that was good That was a good All right I really I really want to lose my virginity this year

I lost my virginity last year I actually lost my virginity a lot in college Turns out you can lose your virginity As much as you want As long as you lie is recently the only two groups of people who have been hitting on me are high school guys going for girls their own age and pedophiles I get six, did you say Jesus?

At least you're not me. I get the 16-year-olds and the 60-year-olds, nothing in the middle. No one is happy about it, particularly me. But I try to be, you know, mature about these situations. So I will go out with the pedophile because I want to be the girl, the woman, excuse me. That changes him.

And then I will go out with the 16-year-old because honestly, that pedophile changed me. To therapy, because I'm trying to be more relatable to the general male population. But I used to. I've tried it many times. I try therapy like Pete Davidson tries girlfriends. Like, it's hot for a moment, but it doesn't stick.

My last therapist diagnosed he was something called big emotions. It's interesting. I would have preferred big tits. I don't know a lot of guys that are into big emotions these days. Never going home with a guy who just wants to be suffocated by my

feelings, you know? Tell me about your childhood trauma. Ask my therapist what I could do about it. She said plastic surgery. All right, on Pippa, thank you. Pippa, spend it! You're keeping score at home. We have sexual harassment, anti-Semitism, and pedophilia all on the board so far.

That is off to a great start when it comes to wrong. Let's go ahead and bring up our final contestant. He was just headlining here in this room right before the show. He's also been seen on HGTV, which is somehow a network that's too white, even for me. Make it loud for Willie Mac, everybody. Willie Mac. Your voice was so deep.

Damn. Felt like a bark. Yeah! When you said this was a dark comedy show, I was like, oh, it's a Black History Month fame show. I don't like woke culture myself, man. That shit's just fucking annoying. You think I would benefit from this shit.

Don't. Hate it. Someone wished me a happy belated Martha Luther King Day the other day. Hey, Willie, I just forgot to let you know, man. Shut the fuck up. I'm from Arkansas. It's different.

You was expecting that to go differently. Different experiences. That's why I started wearing glasses. Glasses make black people look safe. That's all that shit is. Like, if I took my glass off, look at everybody like this. Oh, it's a dark comedy show I got on stage, but if I keep this face and put glasses on,

now look like I'm thinking about something. Arkansas was different for me. I was ignorant to a lot of things until I got out of Arkansas. Like, I didn't know what the fucking albino was growing up. Have y'all seen an albino before? Have y'all seen it? You have? Paul Bunyan.

This is his own car. I don't know if you ever punched a chair, but that's what he does in my head. I didn't know. I grew up with a black mom. I got used to hearing things like, boy, if you don't get your act together, I will slap the black off you. Do it again. I will beat you until the white meat shows. So in second grade, when I saw my first black albino, I said, that's a bad fucking kid right there.

What fuck did you do to have your mama stuff? Did she go downwards? Because my mom usually goes blackout. Look like Skittles with the flavor sucked off. This is this life. Everybody got a different story, too. Like my grandma, she turned 103 years old last month. And it was good.

Who had somebody over 100 in their family? Yeah, exactly. Lucky motherfuckers. I've been taking care of my grandma since she was 99 years old. The family's like, Willie, you're doing better. Can you take care of grams? I'm like, all, cool. What you need?

Like three more months of living? Fuck it. Boom. Then she turns 100, 101, 102. And I'm like, what the fuck are we still doing here, grandma? Speed this shit. She's at that age where we stop saying goodnight to her every night and just goodbye. Just so goodbye.

I'm sorry, Grandma, I must tell you that I love you. Put the dirt on her every night, man. Just for the next day. With this bitch, your father, fucking, Graham. Talk to God every day like he a dead beat dad. I thought she said you love your children, Lord. You ain't gonna come get your chill? She turns 103.

And I was like, Grandma, what is something that you missed from when you were on, Younger, I'm gonna get it for you. She said, you ain't get it for me. I said, come on, girl, this is me. Tell me, what is something that you miss from when you were younger? I got you. She's like, I miss dick. Dick!

It's been 20 years, baby. 20 years? Who fucked you at 80? Hey, y'all, my name's really mad, thank you. We are going to give every comic just a second to collect themselves. But we did, Tyler was talking to me in the back, and he was insistent that we give out our first

audience prize of the evening. Yes, absolutely. I think it's deserved, Jay. This audience prize is going to Amanda. Of course, Amanda has earned the prize. Why don't you go ahead and tell Amanda what she's won? We're going to show it off right here from the stage. Amanda, you've won Kitty's Outdoor Day. Kitty's Outdoor Day. A picture of a kitty cat having a nice time outside that I found at Goodwill earlier today in San Diego. Jay? Give that to the 12-year-old on school on Monday, or Tuesday, I guess, and say this is the only kitty of mine you are allowed to touch. Nice.

Let's go ahead and bring out our contestants one more time. Make it loud for all of them. Matt, Stan, Pippa Spindell, Willie Mack. They're going to come on over, take a seat. Well done, everybody. We are off to a cracking start. Great job. How is everybody feeling?

Matt, how you feeling? Feeling good. Good. Pippa. Dark. Dark. Darker. Reasonable.

We, after our first round, we got out how everybody's doing on the scores. Where's everybody at? Yes, Jay. I got out here right here, you know. So I have, it was a really close one. It was a really close one. And Willie, that was a great joke about your grandmother leading dick. So I was there for me.

But I still have to give it to anti-Semitism. That's a personal favorite of mine. Taking Willie down on Black History Month. That's true. That's the extra points. All right. negative 50 points, you've got to work harder than that, man. All right.

Tide of 400 points, it's Matt and Willie, 400 points. I just said it twice, but hey. And in the lead is Pimble with 500 points, Jay. Nice. That's a great way to start things off. There's time now. We're going to start playing our games. We've got some wonderful games.

We have a game that we're starting off with called Entweetment. Take a look at the screen back there. We're going to be showing off some things on there the whole night. I'll point whenever you all need to take a look. Don't you worry. We've got our first game, all these comics. We've all made some weird,

questionable social media posts over the ears. Yeah, yeah. You haven't deleted any tweets in your entire history of having Twitter. I haven't? Nope. I need to delete that whole account. You might. Oh, yeah.

Oh, boy. It goes back to 2009. Oh, you know what's so crazy? What? Before I got on HGTV, they said, hey, we're going to hire a private investor, to give you like because they go through your social media yeah yeah and he I think I know which one I'm sorry ahead of time for y'all to hear this shit you had some we had some good options we could have found it we'll see if it's the real we'll see if that's the one yeah what we've done is we pulled old

post from theirs blanked out some of the words and we're going to make them guess what they said we've got one real option a couple of fake options yeah is everybody okay right now Willie's nervous. Pippa. So I, yeah, I'm nervous. Matt? I'm good. I'm fine.

I don't have a Twitter account. You got other social. Don't you worry. We found some stuff. My parlor account. Oh, no. Log on to gab.com. Don't worry.

We don't want to put you guys on the heels. We're going to start off with one of mine. I never know what it is. My researchers always find some wacky shit because I have nothing to lose. And I've had a whole bunch of horrible tweets over the years. Let's see what the blank tweet is. Okay.

Anyone ever have a vivid dream about getting back together with their ex, then wake up and blank? I said this at 10.23 a.m. October 10, 2014. One retweet, two likes, Jay. It's not good. Honestly, for my numbers, this is pretty good. This is actually a great tweet. Maybe one of my best tweets in history. God, what was I doing?

October 10, 2014. I was still drinking. I might have come out of a weird fuck, maybe. I could see that. I just, yeah. I just started working at the comedy store. I blacked out on the clock a lot

while I was working at the comedy store, so this could have been a crazy night. I don't know. Do you guys have any ideas? Jerk off. Jerk off. That's too easy. Jay seemed like he cries.

Maybe you can. Yeah. He does. I want to say he wakes up and watches Pocahontas or something. I feel like in the moment. Like, she's your wife. Oh, in the dream?

No, like, and then you wake up and, oh, my wife. I think you jack off to a picture of her. Just like a polo right that I have. Yeah. Yeah. That does seem like a hipster bullshit I would have been into. All right, let's see some options. Okay.

Anyone ever have a vivid dream about getting back together with their ex, then wake up and... Fomit. Realize you took the wrong blue pill before bed. Clever. I did like that somebody just yelled, Vomit. That's a fun...

There's a lot of liquid coming out of me in everybody's minds. I got calm, I got tears, I got puke, great. And love an Inception reference. Great image of me. That's a Matrix reference. They're all the same to me. Anyone ever have a vivid dream

about getting back together with their ex, then wake up and... Remember, you just put a blonde wig on your pillow? Option. anyone ever have a vivid dream about getting back together with their ex then wake up and realize you fell asleep

to a hallmark movie and OMG is she really gonna move back to her hometown for that guy? Dumb bitch That one. It might be that one. I honestly, I had a hallmark phase at this time of my life.

Yeah? Yeah. Well, my current fiance, when we first started dating she wrote a hallmark movie. So there was a time in my life when this was a poll for me. I am scared of women whose favorite network is Lifetime Movie Network. They're great.

Yes. Do you want me to move Pippa away from you a little bit? If you don't mind, please. How many points can I trade in? Tyler? No, you can't do that. I don't allow it, Jay. Moving up.

All right. Willie, you think it's this one. Pippa, Matt, do you all have a guess? I think blonde wig. Blond wig. Blond wig? That's my guess. Okay. Actually, I also think it's blonde wig.

Let's see it. It's blonde wig! I'd be fucking pillows, guys. That's great. Great news for me. Great news for me to remember that in front of this entire wonderful crowd of everything. Does this mean that you actually did that? Huh. I did own a blonde wig for a long time of my life because I was a big fan of that one sketch from the Amanda show. I remember that, bro.

I don't know if you. anybody here remembers the Amanda show. They got no response. Let's move on. Let's move on to Matt Stanton. Matt, come on up to the hot seat, the hot stand. Let's see how you got it tweeted.

You didn't have a Twitter. You're right. You had a bad Twitter, but we did go to your Facebook, buddy. We watched you on Facebook. All right. We found a post from July 26, 2009. This is one of the oldest. Holy shit is right. This is one of the oldest posts. We found in the entire, like, two-year

history of doing the show. I went to Bodies yesterday. Blank. One link. I was killing it. Fifteen years ago. What were you doing this time in your life? I was. I moved to Atlanta, Georgia to do

open mics for three months. Okay. It worked out well. Yeah. What do we got, Pippa? Willi. Any ideas? What is bodies? It's the one, yeah. So they have real people's bodies. is an exhibit where they use

like the, it's like a plastic or something, they got it in Vegas. I thought it was the prequel Prequel of Bodies, Bodies, Bodies. No, it's like naked bodies, but not, it's like they're stripped of their skin, it's like the muscles and bones. I mean, you were there, you remember. I was there. And this is in Atlanta?

Yeah, it was at an art museum. Now, did you go by yourself? I went with one other person. Okay. Well, it seems like you might remember this post, but let's see if you're remember based on our options. I went to bodies yesterday. Was hoping there'd be more Latinas.

That is so true. I wish. I went to bodies yesterday. Can't believe they don't let you touch the boobs. Hilarious. Or, I went to bodies yesterday. This is the second most naked Chinese

men I have ever seen. Now we're going to let you think on this one, see if you remember it, Matt. Willie and Pippa. Willie's having a ball with the Chinese guys. Oh, I did. That's just funny. That one. You think it's that one?

All right. Pipple, what about you? I'm also going Chinese. Okay. Matt, are you going Chinese? Are you taking out a different reference? Well, I have the horrible thing of remembering everything I do. So it is this one.

It is this one. One like. That is funny. Why mad? What is the most... What is the most naked Chinese men you've ever seen? Oh, the YMCA. They pile them up.

Matt stand, everybody. Keep going for that. Man, stand. That's what the C and YMCA stands for. It's Chinese. Young men, Chinese in a pile. That's what that means. Pippa Spindell. Pippa, come on in. Let's get you in tweeted.

Makes a noise for Pippa, everybody. All right, Pippa. You were one of the smartest contestants you've ever had because your Twitter is private. Yep. However... It's private because they all bombed. Well, there's a time and somehow someone had access to your Twitter. And they uploaded a bunch of the tweets to the Internet Archive.

Where people can just post archives of stuff. So we found this tweet that someone in Germany had saved from their Twitter. It's from 31st of December 2020. I would do this whole year again just to relive blank. And we know it's British. It's got three Gifalit Mir and Gabbabins. Three people really Gifalit Mier this tweet. This is so crazy because this was like the pandemic beginnings.

December, is it say December? December 2020. That's when Pippa started tweeting was at like January of 2020. I got my, I drew this really, like, it was a lemonade stand, but they were selling hand sanitizer and I thought it was hilarious, so I made a Twitter to post it. A German put this up?

Yeah, Germans save this one. Man, I'm starting to think they don't like Jews. Make sure Matt gets some extra points for that. Yeah, I got it. All right, let's see some options. Remember, if you think you know the real one, but don't say it until we go to the end. I would do this whole year again just to relive

that one time Amazon messed up our order and sent us a free bottle of syracia. Option two. I would do this whole year again just to relive running out of toilet paper and having to use my hands. Probably a bad time for people

to be wiping her mouth. Final tweet. I would do this whole year again just to relive all the looting. Love my new Jordans. At first I thought it was B. But now I'm

feeling like I look at your shoe game. You got a decent shoe game. I'm going with the looting. She loves a new joy. I like this. I like this option. I'm going to Racha.

Yeah? You think Saracha? I heard the audience. The audience was kind of rumbling. Audience seems to think is it like option two. Makes noise if you think it's option two. Makes noise you think it's option one. Makes the noise if you think it's all the looting.

This audience thinks you like to loot, Pippa. Thank you. Do you like to loot? Is this the real tweet? No. Do you know it's the real tweet? Yeah, I think it's the misspelled saracha. It is the misspelled saracha.

Thank you. It is the misspelled saracha. Pippa knows herself. Make some noise for Pippa, everybody. It's all right. Honestly, I was hoping you was going to be that one too. I was hoping that. I wasn't allowed out of the house.

Nobody did me. Willie Mac, let's get you and tweeted. Come on over, Willie. Let's do it, Jay. All right, dude. So, yeah, we found this is a post, I think, from 2009. Maybe 2010. Those are dark years.

You're having, yeah, August 17, 2009. There's a lot of stuff missing. Niggas, bitch, bitch, bitches. Love being at the all-white bench. Motherfucker ass. Something like that, maybe. Yeah, you were doing a... This time in your life, we looked,

there was a lot of you tweeting about, like, parties that you were going to a lot of LeBron James parties but you were spelling it L-A-B-R-O-N James. There's a lot of stuff going on in your life here. August 2009 you just started doing stand-up comedy.

You were tweet about doing open mics. And in this tweet it's blank. Dot, dot, dot, dot. I love being at all white events. Dot, dot, dot, dot, blank. I'm thinking because of all the free shit that I get. Because like, especially like doing like Black Lives, They were giving out water

that all the rallies and shit. All the way before, yeah. And if you was black, you got two waters. That is the worst reparation type of I heard of. Leave my waters alone. I have them in a frame now. Jay.

Jay, this is 2009. Black Lives Matters didn't matter yet. That's 11 years later. I'll give you some of my points for that one. Pippa, Matt, any ideas on what Willie was tweeting about in 2009? I was in elementary school. I feel like you were happy to be at my graduation. Yes.

What? Is that one of the people who were hitting on you? I think they had one of the pedophiles from this earlier joke. Matt, any ideas? I have no idea. All right. Well, let's see some options. Number one, just pulled up in the garlic festival.

I love being at all white events. These bitches smell horrible. Huh. Okay, okay. Option two. At a movie premiere with my family, I love being at all white events. Free food, anyone? Hey, I was getting close to that one. I thought.

They're pretty good. Don't worry, we got one more option. You never know. Let's see it. At a farmer's market in Hollywood, I love being at all white events. No one's going to call the cost. The audience is very confident as this one.

That does sound about right, because I was going to Farmer Markets in Hollywood at around this time. We'll give you a second to think on it, just to make sure Pippa, Matt, what do you all think? I do really wish it was the third one. I'm going to guess too, but I love that third one. Okay, Matt's going to Pippa. I'm going all in third one. Okay, Pippa's following the audience, going with the third one. Willie?

No, 100% third one. Unfortunately, it is zero pitch tonight at the third one. It's actually the second one. Which I also appreciate the free food, anyone. Who doesn't love free food? Makes noise for free food, everyone. It makes noise for Willie Back. Nice.

Keep back, yeah, you keep that. Don't you worry. All right, wow. Well, that was in Tweetment, everybody. What a round. Tyler, how are we doing on the scores? Well, Jay, Matt did not guess any of those tweets correctly. So he's following behind.

And third place, with 900 points. In second place, Pivot with 1,200 points. And now taking the lead, it's Willie with 1,400 points, Jack. Anything you want to say to Tyler? No, I'm all right. Okay. I mean, you can ask for, Tyler might give you more points. Or just telling me, I'll give you a motherfucker.

You're one of the only people I've ever seen who's actually taller than Tyler. You can intimidate him. No, I'm good right now. I'm a long game, buddy. Oh, he's taller in me, Jays? My is 100 points for Matt, right there. Yeah. Matt, I'm so half a foot taller.

I'm sorry, Matt. Give Matt a hundred of my points, Tyler. Let's go ahead and move on to our next round. This is a round called shave as soon as Tyler hits the fucking button. Okay, Jay, I just want to make a quick correction. What?

I accidentally was giving a Willie and Matt. I switched up the points. So actually, Willie's in last place with 900 points. And Matt's in the lead with 1,400 points. Yeah, we love our time. short kings. All right. But minus 100 for being taller still.

It doesn't feel right for Willie to have the least amount of points here. So far, we've already, this is our second show this month and we already had one black person cancel on us for the first show. It feels like for Black History Month, Willie should have just a couple of hours. Can I have his points? I'll put that in consideration

at the end of the game, Jay. Let's give Willie the kid who wants to fuck Amanda. Let's give him, let's give Willie that kid's points. Oh yeah, okay. Let's keep you in track. That's fair. Yeah, we can give that Some stepfather points right there. Yeah. Fuck that 12 year old.

All right. Let's go to move on to our next game. This is a game called Shave the Cat, everybody. Now, Shave the Cat is a game. If you like screenwriting, you might have read a book called Save the Cat. This is a game where we were trying to ruin movies instead of writing movies.

These panelists are going to pitch you like you're a panel of Hollywood executives on their worst ideas to ruin beloved movie franchises. And because it is President's Day weekend, one of the best times to get turnt in American history we are going to have presidential themed movies for this round so we're going to start off with Lincoln

this is how you're going to pitch Lincoln too you're going to ruin Abraham Lincoln for a movie for these fine people and you're going to have 15 seconds on the clock to do it are you guys ready are you all doing Lincoln everybody's going to do all yeah we're going to start off Tyler who's in last place we'll start up with them in last place is Willie still. Sorry, Willie. Sorry,

Willie. But it's closer now. Now's your change to redeem yourself. Go ahead and start off by ruining Lincoln. Fifteen seconds on the clock. Go. So Lincoln decides to not free the slaves.

And instead free the Asians from the And that's time. That's a good way to... That's Lincoln, too. All right, Pippa, you have 15 seconds on the clock to ruin Lincoln. Go.

So it's actually told from the perspective of John Wilkes Booth's mother, and John Wilkes Booth dies a tragic hero's death. All right, and that's time. I thought you were going to go more. I thought there was going to be a lot of dramatic tension, like what Willie had with his

answer, but no. In the last 10 seconds, I was realizing that John Wilts, who doesn't die in the movie theater. He's actually what does the shooting. As I remembered history, he got shot. Yeah. Well, he got shot eventually. Yeah, and it was a tragic hero's death.

All right, Matt, you have 15 seconds to ruin Lincoln starting now. All right, so it's a prequel. I don't know if you know this. Abraham Lincoln is actually in the Wrestling Hall of Fame, so it's a prequel about his wrestling career, and really just turns into a gay porn.

That is pretty hot. That's time and that's a good. Some people really know history giving an applause break. Lincoln was fucking. He was on the DL. He was in the closet. They built a very tall closet for him to hang out of. That's great, everybody. Let's go ahead

move on to our next presidential movie that these folks will be ruining Independence Day. Yes, really, Independence Day. There's a president in the movie I haven't seen it but I know there's a very important presidential speech in this movie you're gonna ruin Independence Day. Pippa we're gonna start off with you 15 seconds on the clock go it is about Texas's secession from the nation they did it every

that's time we went out with a whimper on that one hey there's also aliens in Texas there are there is a lot of aliens at the border in Texas they probably don't have as sophisticated weaponry as they did in Independence Day they have cocaine That's a good thing. And fentanyl. That's a really intense, yeah. We don't need lasers. We just got rails of fentanyl that we can be blowing.

Matt, you have 15 seconds to ruin Independence Day. Ready, set, go. All right, so the humans win Independence Day, but because they win, the aliens take all their technology back and we lose all of our internet, and then we slowly kill each other. Sorry to ruin it. Too realistic. That's the point.

That's what they want you to think. I don't think anyone has seen this movie, Che. I am not. Will Smith, there's a lot of people in this movie. Will Smith slaps an alien in this movie. He punches a movie. He says, Welcome to Earth. With two F's. Yes.

Welcome to Earth. One of the original, like, Jiffs. That's good. Willie, have you seen this movie? Yes, I am. Well, you're set up perfectly to ruin it. You got 15 seconds starting now.

So the aliens come down and they're black. Sam, we left you with the fucking pyramids. fuck happened. And they kidnapped Jada Pinkett Smith this Senate and we never have the punch at the Oscars. And that is time.

That's good. Supposed to ruin the movie, but I do think you saved humanity in the end. If he slapped Chris Rock and said, welcome to Earth afterwards, I would have a problem with it. Let's go ahead and move on to our final movie that you'll be ruining.

Our final presidential movie, a classic. My date with the president's daughter. What? You never seen this movie? Oh, this is a Disney Channel classic. There's some murmurings. There's some audience members who have seen this movie. Some people remember my date with the president's daughter. I had cheap parents. I didn't have cable. I don't know any of this voodoo.

I'm from DC. Well, Matt, you're going to start us off with ruining my date with the president's daughter. You've got 15 seconds of the clock starting now. Okay. So, the movie is about the history of why Roe v. Wade passed. And that's time. That's traumatic tension. Sometimes it's all you need. Sometimes that's an elevator pitch.

Let's go and move on to Willie. You have 15 seconds to ruin my date with the president's daughter, starting now. To stay on my black history, mom. He brings the president's daughter around his room rate, who is also African-American. And fuck, I lost my train of thought. I watched a countdown the entire time and I felt hypnotized. I was like, oh, that's just nice.

I said, wait, that's my time. Let's let Willie finish his pitch. Can we let Willie finish this pitch? Is that okay? So then she decides to go on the date with the roommate instead of him, but then she realizes once you go black, sometimes you might go back. I should have left it at the 15 seconds thing, man. Why did you let me get back in this, Jay? It's all right.

try. Let's go ahead and have Pippa. You're ready to ruin my date with the brother's daughter. Yes. Starting now. Okay, so it's the sequel, everyone, and it takes place during the Trump presidency, and it's my date with the president's son, and it's Baron Trump, and the person who has the date

is a priest. Wow. And that's time. Honestly, I feel like Baron Trump would make a great contestant on love on the spectrum. I feel like he would be great. You see how tall he is? He's fucking tall. He's like six,

nine. Yes, giant-ass sun. Yeah, like, look up how tall Baron Trump is. Like, that motherfucker is tall as shit. Yeah, that dude would molest the priest, for sure. My turn. And folks, that has been shaved at cap.

Thanks a nice for all our comics for the fucked-up movies. Tyler, how are we doing on the points? Okay, okay. In third place, we have Pippa with 1,400 points. Pippa, 400 points. Second place, we have Willie with 1,600. points and in first place, Matt with 1800 points, Jay.

Nice, good stuff, everybody. Jay, we do have a number of these prizes. I don't have any favorite audience members out there. I'm coming back in the fourth quarter. We got time. Now's your chance. Wait, Tyler, do you have any, you said you had an audience prize you want to give out?

Yeah, I do have another one. You got somebody in mind? Oh, yeah. Well, no, I'm saying, do you have anybody in mind, Jay? I mean, I feel like Whitney and Luke have been up here enjoying themselves. Whitney is looking very excited. Whitney, you ready to get a prize?

All right, let's go ahead and give Whitney a prize. You win a... Tyler! Tell them what they won. You win a very exciting prize. It's Ray Johnson's Total Security. There's a great list. Jay, you want to read some of that list up front

of how you protect yourself? Yes. This is America's number one crime prevention expert who tells you how to protect yourself, your loved ones, and and your property at every danger point, including tips on burglary, car theft, armed robbery,

mugging, rape, kidnapping, and much, much more. Wait, Jay, Jay. You've seen a dark game show? Jay, it's very important. Read the first line from the back of that book. This is again from Goodwill, everybody. This is from the Goodwill today, everybody.

Proven advice from a reformed criminal turned crime consultants. There you go. Read that way. That's how you know it's good. June Luke can secure your property together. That rape chapter is way too long by the author. Oh, yeah.

It literally, the back it says seven essential tips for preventing rape which did not even know there were that many options. It's always her fault. Let's go and move on to our final round. This is the discomfort zone

everybody. We have got some thucked up things that we found about everybody. We have some questions. Some things we are concerned about. Some things we want to know a little bit more about. We've done some digging. And now it's time for these comedians to answer our uncomfortable questions in the funniest way

possible. Let's go ahead and see what Matt Stanton has to say in the discomfort zone. Come on up, Matt. Welcome to the discomfort zone. How are you feeling? Terrified. Matt's going to be okay, Matt. We'll see. Matt and I actually known each other for a very

long time. Matt and I met years and years ago, Matt was doing comedy in Cincinnati. I was visiting Cincinnati. It was my second ever comedy show ever. And at the time Matt was also doing more than just comedy. He was also a musician. He was a punk musician. We found some pictures of you.

Yeah. Yeah. Your Facebook's some post on there from you. We did punk rock night somewhere. Shrighten brewing, it looks like. Indianapolis, Indiana. Yeah. I made tens of dollars playing music. Went wonderful.

I do not like... Okay. It was January. I am not wearing lipstick on the left, but it was really chapped. and for the wind reasons, not for any pervert reasons. We found an interview that you did with a magazine, Cincinnati City Beat Magazine. Let's go where. This is a band you were in.

It was a band called The Worthmore's, which they disrespected and spelled the Wathmore's. And this is from your interview. He started out playing music, and today he plays in a band called The Worthmore's. It's pop-punk Ramon style. he says. Yeah. You like the remotes? Yeah, they're my favorite band.

Also, I'm going to tell a guitar player he wanted to be called the Worthmore's. I'm like, that sounds needy. He's like, no, no one will think that. It is very needy. And now he's coming back to bite me in the ass. Yes, it is. But you don't play, do you play any music still in a band? No, not anymore.

No. No, no, not really. But we do have an element of music. We do know you're involved in your life. Music. What a booty fan. Are you a fan of bingo and music? We'll look no further. Sincoudi in North Park has just the thing for you. Every Thursday night, they've got Radio Bingo.

A show that Matt posts every Thursday. Incredible food. And there's going to be a nice crowd. Look at this guy's base, by the way. This is the kind of clientele that's just showing up to Matt shows. Just a guy who's thrilled to be next to two Asian women. Who are not excited at all to be next to him. Not even close.

weird Instagram video. You do radio bingo every Thursday. I do. It's a game I'm made up during COVID. This is actually a nice promotion you all should play and make me money. Yeah, it's just bingo, but it's music. I edit song clips

instead of numbers. I know it's not dirty, but it's fun. Give me money. Please, hire me. Matt, our question for you, is somebody who we know had musical dreams and aspirations? Yes. How would you defend yourself to the Ramones if they found out you stopped playing punk music to be a mingo announcer? First off, Johnny Ramon, the guitar player, sorry, he's very anti-Semitic.

He was all about that money, so we'd be like, go get that paper. So I think it would be okay for one member of the band. What about the other members of the band? How are you defending yourself to them? Imagine they're right. Imagine D.D. and the other Ramon's. I don't know who is in the Ramon. No, you're right, D.D. Marky, all them.

I would say, you all died 25 years ago, get off my back. That's a fair answer. Makes sense for Matt Stan, everybody. Getting his bastard. He's going to tell him, hey, you know how you don't like Jews? I do a bingo night. That makes sense. Pippa, you ready to get this comfort zone?

Yes. Come on up here, Pippa. Pippa. Pippa. I met you a few years ago I didn't realize you were a college student in the time. You went to UCLA Yes. You were actually

on the UCLA men's rowing team which was a fun a fun detail. I just want to say I know it's 2024 I was an email at that. I was a coxswain so I could be on the men's. I didn't transition very nicely.

A coxin for anybody who doesn't know that's the small person at the front of the boat who's saying like stroke, stroke, stroke. We also steer. It's a very hard job. Coxon is probably the worst name they could have come up with for that job. This sounds like that scholarship's

scandal. Lady from full house, like, oh, you know rowing? She's a man. Willie, did you know that this was a sport and an event that somebody could compete in? This is hilarious, because this is the first time I've heard any of this shit. And the fact that

you know what a coxman is or whatever This is like your white people tweet all over again. He's put it right in. Welcome to another all-line event. You tell you what they have to, what they're doing with boats now. They got themselves rolling this time. They took it on us. Don't look, y'all, y'all swear, y'all, I swear.

Check out my life. Points for jazz. It's progressive. We also found something that you had, we're not asking you anything related to this time wrong, but we did have some questions. We saw you were a cognitive science major. Oh, I love that.

On your YouTube, we found some of like school projects that you posted. This notion that Barack Obama doesn't know what it's doing his peeps doing the GOP to date. He knows the memory of 25 seconds. Chris Christie is a peat. This wasn't even a school project. This wasn't a school project. You just did this for fun. The Washington Post used to run a contest where you would make a diorama out of peeps and I entered every year.

What a childhood. See, he should have been three peeps glued together. Yeah, you should have microwaved more of the piece for Chris Christie. He was a chick. Everyone else was a bunny. Oh, I see. Smart. You should go play it all through, though,

because you see Hillary Clinton at the end. Oh, we don't have time. We don't want to play through this whole video. We do not want to do that. We actually have a video that we found that was, I didn't know this was a school project. We did some school projects that you did leave on, including this butchering of Happy by Farrell.

New Transmanders are chemicals in the brain. runs day to day. We've been to do this all in one take, probably from our doorroom. They control what we do and how we feel. The nervous system's biggest appeal. Oh, no, is right. Because I'm happy clap along. Believe it or not, no autotune.

Because I'm full serotonin does not rewant to eat another dish. You could have done more takes and made the line fit with the song. Because I'm anxious but the release of Gabba. Pippa entertaining us. A singer with a voice of a cognitive behavioral science maker. Are you anxious right now? Do you feel like Gabba would be calming you? I feel like I did you all a service

and I gave you a UCLA education. I mean, ultimately, you know, we saw on that account, you posted a lot of stuff like this, and you have one stand-up set posted there, and that's it. And our question for you is, why haven't you taken any of these videos now? Because I'm proud of all of them.

My stand-up clip is killer. It has gone me into many festivals. I didn't win that peep competition, but it's a very good diorama. And I just gave you all a good education. You didn't play my clip when I coded a video game. That's on my YouTube as well. Feel free to subscribe to my channel.

They're all great videos. Everybody subscribed with Pookeb. you channel after this. Nice work, PIPAA. Honestly, that is the most confidence I've ever seen somebody say, that was a pretty good diorama. I was very happy with it, diorama.

That deserves some points. Now I'm uncomfortable. Now that's how this game is turned. All right, Willie, you ready? Yeah, let's do this. Let's get William McEman in the discomfort side. All right, Willie. Some of you may know

if you were fans of BET. This is not the B.E. audience, Jay. You never know. Willie was on, at the very beginning of his career, he was on a BET reality show called College Hill. Yeah. Yep.

You can see you. I'm the dark one in the middle. Yeah. Willie had a pro. This was in the Virgin Islands. Yeah. It was a pretty fucking crazy. We watched a bunch of clips. No, y'all didn't. We did.

What? We watched, I mean, this season kind of made some So it took place at the University of Virgin Islands, which I didn't know as a university until we looked it up. People from the community at the Virgin Islands and alumni from the school made the president of the school apologize publicly for what happened on the show this season. Yeah. So for my non-BET watchers, the college hill was the VET version of the real world. And so they got college students together

and they put them in the house and said, do what you fuck y'all want. There's a lot of sex, there's a lot of drinking, a lot of truth or dare. Oh, my God. A lot of fuck Mary Kill. There was a big fight your season. A lady got hit in the head with a stiletto

and sent to the hospital. Now, way better. We were watching this, and we saw there was some signs that there was some like discord in the house. We saw there's this clip of you that we have where you're talking to

I think it's one of the girls involved in the fight. She's showing you some rap lyrics that she wrote. So let's go ahead and let's play this clip. It was Pippa. Let me just read you the second verse. The second verse is hot, hot, hot, hot. I'm going to cut you into pieces.

Bear you under treason. Make sure your body will never be seen again. You got to play it one more time for them to hear this shit. Yeah. Play it. See you can play it one more time. time, Tyler.

God damn it, Tyler. The second verse is hot, hot, hot, hot, hat. I'm gonna cut you into pieces. Bear you under treason. Make sure your body will never be seen again. I'm gonna cut you into pieces. That freeze frame is the...

We see how terrified you are in this moment. I was so scared of her. She was talking about the girl at the very beginning of this. Yeah. There was a... Crystal. Crystal. Yes.

So Crystal was Hayden on the Island. Like she's from Orange County and she was like the island by she's like y'all don't have a nail salon inside of you all's mall? This place is disgusting.

And so they started budding heads a lot at this point. So she was literally laying on the couch like right here as Vanessa is rapping this to me. And I thought it was just

going to be a cute rap. That's why I was like, ah, yeah. And like cut you into pieces. I said, oh shit. That is an oh shit face. I'm touching my pearls face. Is she just saying?

Face. Now our question for you is, have you ever been more scared of a woman? Easily. What? If so, how? Oh, my goodness. Okay, so I was talking to this chick in St. Louis.

And she's like, oh, I've never been to California before. I said, oh, you should just come out here just hang out for a little bit. She's like, all right, cool. So I pick her up in the airport. She had three suitcases, big-ass suitcase. I'm like, what are you going back? She only bought a one-way ticket. So she wouldn't leave my place.

I was like, I'm like, I don't know what the fuck to do in this situation. This is like around 2010 area. And so I rented a U-Haul truck and faith the entire move. Because I was like, I got to go back home. I I knew you was moving out here. I'm leaving. She's like, you're leaving.

I was like, yeah, things ain't work out out here. I got a U-Haul truck, boxes, pack this shit up. She's like, well, I guess I got to figure out how to get back home. I said, yeah, I'm so sorry. You didn't even drive her back to this? To where?

You fuck, no. So she leaves my place or whatever. I go back around and I unpack my fucking U-Haul. So this is a true-ass story. So yes, I have been more scared of a woman. Willie Mac, everybody.

Good answer. Good answer. Incredible. That's great. Holy shit. Wow. Folks, that was the discomfort zone. We are going to go ahead and wrap things up. You guys ready to hear about who had a fucked up week?

Who had the most fucked up week? Jay, you got to tell them how great this prize is. I know. This, honestly, the person who gets this prize are a person who had the most fucked up week. This is a prize that, I won. And I'd never say that about any of the prizes that we have on the show.

It's easily like three times, maybe four times more expensive than any prize I've ever gotten. Tyler broke the bank for the prize budget on this. I mean, usually we're paying a buck 50, maybe. Tyler spent $7.99 on this price. $7.99. $7.99. Almost $8. This first place prize goes to Evelyn Chavez.

Evelyn where you at, Evelyn? Evelyn. Evelyn right here. Evelyn was in the ER for five hours. Holy shit. Were you working in it or you were you were in, like in in it? Damn, well let's give Evelyn a great prize. Make some noise for Evelyn.

Let's give Evelyn some love and support. This is the grand prize, right, Jay? Let's tell the grand prize, Evelyn gets this beautiful Black Panther holographic. Holographic Black Panther. I don't know how your son is but you can put that in his room it's the coolest shit ever

Did he make it out? I'm sorry Did he make it out? No, I'm just that comedy show. Jay, Jay, you have to pick that thing up to the front and show everyone the holographics thing. Yeah, we got to make sure

I'm just gonna pass I just want to show everybody how fucking, look at how cool this is. Look at how good Evelyn got it for having a fucked up week. Look at this. And it's Black History Month, Jay. It is Black History Month.

It is Black History Month. Ever. This is our contribution. Makes noise for Evelyn, everybody. I'm a show. And now, Tyler, before we reveal who actually won the game while Tyler tabulates, we're going to do our pallet cleanser round. Where the comedians... Oh, wait, did we do this before? I forgot. No, no, we've got to give the prizes first. Prize is first. All right, sorry, I fucked up. Are you ready for it? Yeah. Let's do this. We're going to announce who won

between our comedians. Tyler, how did all the comics make it out with the scores? All right, Jay. O'Shea, it was a very close game. It was a very close game. Let's go right to the scores. All right. In third place, like I said, everyone gets a prize. There they are. Okay.

All right. Take the whole bag. Yeah, take the whole bag. All right. In third place with 2,100 points. It's Pippa, everybody. Pippa spin out, everybody. Pippa, you have a very great prize.

I just got from Goodwill today. It's George Foreman's Indoor Grilling Made Easy. Over 100 recipes. Incredible. One dollar. I got it. One second. It's a very close game.

It's Matt, everybody. Matt said in the second place. With 2,200 points. You got the complete second season of the Jamie Kennedy experiment. 23 episodes, Freddie, and are all yours. And in first place. Get a drum roll going for first place.

One of the greatest prizes we have ever found at this goodwill here in San Diego. Everyone, it's Willie Mack. You know, you're going. You know, you're going to be. you got. You got My Big Lie, my big lie, my big lie, by Bill Cosby.

It's a children's book about lying. Hopefully it doesn't feel me to see. By Phil Cosby. Let's give it up for Bill Cosby, everybody. Of course, we'll also be winning this get out of cancellation free card. There you know, that's cute. That's Jay's the Monopoly, man. In Hollywood, just come calling. We will get that

cancellation sorted out. They can cancel me instead. I don't have shit going on. Let's go and move on to the Alex Lunds around, folks. We've had a lot of fucked up things that was so abrupt. It's so abrupt. Every single time. Folks, we've had a nice time of the show.

We've had some fucked up things. But we don't want everybody to have it fucked up in night, you know? We're going to get out of here on a nice note, which is why we've asked all of our comedians to say their cleanest, most wholesome joke to get out of here. We're going to start on with Matt Stanton.

Matt Stanton, tell us your clean, wholesome joke. Makes a noise from Matt. Hey, Stanton, everybody. Oh, man, starting out in comedy, I did not make a lot of money. I was really broke. Like, man, my clothes were mismatched. Like, my socks didn't even make sense.

One was black. The other one was a puppet. Matt Stanton, everybody. Let's hear of clean old. Some joke for Pippa Spendell! Pippa Spendell! Victim of my parents' long. I think that's worse.

I was raised to believe that love is real. And men who make six figures a year won't cheat on you behind your back. Pimba Spendellell, everybody. We know some jokes. Tomorrow winner, Willie Mac. Willie Mac. I'm thinking about the very first joke I've ever written.

Oh. Yeah, I still, I haven't said it in a while, so I was going through my head, like, what the fuck should I say? I got my glasses, I'm like, let me give them my very first joke that made me feel like I should be doing standard. I like it. So when I first told this joke, I was brand new to Los Angeles. And since I was there, I've been shot at four times. my car got broken into and my place was robbed tights

and I got that finally taken care of and I broke up with that girl everybody I got a fucked up game show you've been a wonderful audience thank you so much for coming make some noise for yourselves one more time one more time clap it up make sure you tip your waitress

and great comedians Matt Pippa and Willie if you did not get a chance you want to come see we will be back in a couple months if you want to make sure you get early because we sold out tonight if you want to come in early next time come talk to Melanie in the back you got on the email list. We'll send you email when we're coming in through next. You guys have been a great audience.

Thank you so much. Have a great night. Thank you, everybody. And exit through the back. Thank you, everyone. Exit through the back. Everybody. Thank you very much.