WRONG! A Fucked Up Game Show - #17 – BLACKING OUT ON THE BLOOD OF CHRIST (ft. Erin Tracy, John-Michael Bond, Lisa Chanoux)

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

Recorded live at Alamo Drafthouse DTLA, 6/24/23.OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS: Erin Tracy, John-Michael Bond, Lisa ChanouxSUPPORT THE SHOW AND ACCESS FULL VIDEO EPISODES ON PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠��⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/wronggameshow⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE! We're almost at 1k subs!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠COME SEE US LIVE!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Upcoming Shows:NYC: 4/17 @ Caveat, 9:30 PMLA: 4/22 @ The Comedy Store, 8 PMSAN DIEGO: 4/27 @ Mic Drop, 10 PM Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Wrong and Dark Comedy Game Show podcast edition. I'm your host Jay Light. And today I'm bringing you an episode from the archives. This one is one of our champs-only episodes featuring previous wrong champions, Aaron Tracy, John Michael Bond, and Lisa Shano. We recorded this one live at the Alamo Draft House in Los Angeles last summer. It's a real banger. We actually did. We did have one portion that was a little too hot for television. Aaron asked us to remove a piece from the show and for pretty obvious reasons. So, well, you know, as always, the best way to see the show is live, so that way you don't miss any of the action. So come check the show out live. We've got some upcoming dates in April at Caviott in New York City on 417. Back at the Comedy Store here in Los Angeles on 420. and at Mike drop in San Diego on 427.

All the tickets and all the information are in the show notes for that. We've got all those lineups booked already. We've got some great comics on every single show. I'm super pumped for April. It's going to be a fucking great month for wrong. Please, if you like the show, give us a follow on all the social media platforms. Tell your friends about the podcast. Tell your friends about the live show.

Buy some tickets. We're very close to being able to monetize on YouTube, and I will put the link to subscribe in the show notes for our YouTube channel. So please do that if you can. We're only about 100 subs away as of this recording right now. So I'm very excited to get a little bit of extra scratch to help produce the show. And speaking of which, if you want to help support the show financially, you can't come see a show live. Subscribe on Patreon. You get full episodes unedited.

but we're putting up, like I said, edited episodes on YouTube, but you think you want to the full real deal, go to the Patreon page. That's where you're going to get the good stuff. We're about to upload our Atlanta show there. We'll post an edited episode here in a few weeks. But yeah, let's stop mince and words here without further ado. Let's get wrong.

Live from downtown Los Angeles. It's wrong the fucked up to show. We left your house. I'm here. Welcome to Ronald Funko Game Show, everybody. Thanks for what's on the time of the show. I'll give you a high-five because you stand in the front row. Let's cut that music, Yorga.

Let's, oh, it cut off automatically and it's done. Great, perfect. Hey, give a half for Yorna R.C. is a long guy, everybody. I love how many people are coming to the front row. There's so many people, so excited. We, tell you what. I don't think, by the way, it makes an noise for a title of Asner, my George Brady.

Oh, okay. I'm the host of this show. We didn't get, what is, sorry, what was your name this? Coley. Coley. What did Yorgo give you to get you up here? A movie ticket. Okay.

We start out with movie tickets. Let's give her a better prize. We're going to give you a better prize. So, what are you most excited to see? You want to see Ashred City? You want to see Barbie? What are you looking forward to here? Barbie.

Okay, great. We have a Barbie poster for Coley for sitting in front of a lot. Fantastic. Come take a picture with it. Now, we have one other movie poster for anybody else who wants to come and sit in the front row or in the second row. I'm not going to discriminate. Either one right now, we got a movie poster for you. Are you wandering up here to come sit down in the front?

Ah, but you've ruined your chance. It's okay. Sit close. That's all that really matters. We have another movie poster. Come sit up close. Get a movie poster. All right.

I'm going to give you all a chance later on to sit. You're going to come up. You're coming to sit and get a movie poster? I'm curious what movie poster. That's the spirit. What does your name? Alexis. Alexis, make sure noise for Alexis, everybody. Good city.

Get her up. Come on up here, Alexis. You get an asteroid city post. Well done. That's got a photo. You take this. Where's Greg? All right, we're gonna make eye contact

with our paparazzo right there. Chin down, that's how you look better on camera. I learned that after many years. after many years. Alexis, everybody, and the answer to the future. Oh, boy, oh boy. Now, don't you worry, folks, you're going to have plenty more chances to win prizes

because this is a game show. We do give way prizes to our audience members, but we have contestants, and this is not only just a game show full of wonderful comedians, but these are three former champions of this show. You're ready to get wrong tonight. Let's go ahead and introduce them right now.

Please make a noise for Aaron Tracy, Lisa's New, and John, Michael Bond. everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome. Hi, is your mic? Yeah. Now it is. Now it is. Oh, wow. Don't worry. Very excited to have y'all. Now, for those of you who don't know, this is a game show, you know, most game shows we want our contestants to get the answer right. Not here. We want our contestants to get the answer wrong. That is what we're all about, all right?

We're going to have these contestants. They're going to go through a cavalcade. of dark comedy. We're gonna put him in some uncomfortable situations. We're gonna get there's somebody very excited about that We're gonna we're gonna get him in some uncomfortable situations. We're gonna make maybe some light of some fucked-up situations Are we ready to get a little dark somebody's gonna We actually I would like to start because we do Start off the show with around where I've asked each of them to do what they think is our most fucked up material We're gonna find out what they all think is fucked up, but we have some wonderful audience members who were kind enough to tell us why they had a fucked up week.

Right? So you totally support them. And I want to find out why some of these people think their week is fucked up and what they think is fucked up. Maybe you guys have some advice for them. Who knows? Starting off with Sarah. Sarah, in five words or less, your week was fucked up. Creepy man solicited me sex. That's like a regular week in a city.

I was going to say that's like a modern day love story. No. Sarah, where are you at, Sarah? Sarah, hello Sarah. Do you work from home? Is that way it never happened? You do work from home? Yes. Did you take Metro for the first time today? Okay, you can point him. Oh, look at that. Eat, what are you eating? Ribs? No, those are French fries. At least you didn't see a guy who overdone. You know, you got to look at the, you got to look at the, you got to look.

look at the darkness is half full now this was the team's like a calling situation a little bit no no me I thought he had asked me for cash but he had cashed in hand and was like hey you want to have a good time oh boy dude have a good time take his cash and was it what kind of cash was it big bills like was it was big bills there you're all outside there guy with the big bills come on someone's here ready to take that money now. I didn't get a context of that. Like if a guy walked up to me and had any money and said we wanted a good time,

like I was in an arcade, I think you very much. You know how many tokens I can get with a $100 bill? At least? $50 tokens. Tyler, I'll get her a prize. Sarah gets a prize and great movie ticket.

We've got Parker coming up next. Parker, in five words of the last, why are we being fucked up? Running into clients in the wild. Parker, where was? Parker, where are you at? Oh? It sounds like the sense of time.

Is Parker still here or did the wild take him? Parker's at work. Parker is on the clock now. Well, I guess Parker's not going to get a prize because Parker decided to bail, but we do have Ricardo. Hey, right. And five words or less, why was we fucked up? Butt surgery? Leaky butt.

Ricardo, go home. Where you got, Ricardo? Right there. Yeah. Make sure much for Ricardo. Metal chair, break. Very bright. Okay.

I have a CBS 4x-inch. A pad. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Was Leaky butt like a thing that happened because, like, you're healing and now you have a leaky butt or was the surgery to stop Leaky Butt? I've experienced pre-surgery leaky butt and then post-surgery. Quick follow-up.

Did your doctor call it Leaky Butt? Because that guy shouldn't do surgery. Well, my doctor, Dr. Galang, she's a woman, she's awesome. Oh, yeah, sexist. Yes. I think assuming a man is bad at medicine, he's what? Ricardo is the reason for your leaky butt a man who approached you with big bills? You took him up on his offer. There's a non-disclosure.

Very big ones. Yeah, I didn't know Eric Andre was dropping into the show later. Experimental butt surgery. Leaky butt. Leaky butt. Leaky butt. I like that. We haven't had a chant in the show in a long time.

I like a leaky butt chant. And you know, speaking of Leaky Buds, feel free to have drinks and food. You know, and out of our breakfast out. We'll have for our partners. Madi, Moses, Fernando. Tip them well. Now, I do think we actually, I mean, let's get,

we should give Ricardo a part. for sure. Absolutely. Maybe, maybe, I don't know, we want to think we'd like this leafy butt in the cloth movie seats, I don't know about that. But I do think we should also get some other prizes to these people who sat in the front row like your prize. Ricardo, we're gonna give you, get a free popcorn.

Ricardo, it's a free popcorn. A highly fiber food. Yeah. Pretty good for your lunch vision. And let's go ahead, I think out of the contestants from the audience, I think Sarah might be in contention for having the most fucked up week. So Sarah, come on up here. You guys have competed for the audience prize tonight. Come on up and take a seat. Well, we're going to find out, because Sarah had a bad week.

Yeah, but I don't want him to get up. You know, that chair's got holes in it. Or at least not sitting that chair. Yeah. The high chair, we don't want to have any drip action going on, you know? Literally a hole in the middle of it. Now, I think we're going to find out in a second, Sarah, if you think you had a worse week than this person. Do you think you had a worse week than this guy? Yes. Do you think you had a worst week than this guy?

Am I supposed to know who he is? I think a couple people in here. Make some noise if you know who this guy is. What if she deserves a prize for not knowing who he is? I like to say that. I think that's winning at humanity for the week. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Do you all think that Sarah had a worse week than this guy? I think she had a better week than him. I think me and Sarah both don't know who it is. I think Sarah knows what she wants out of life, and like that guy didn't. This is a great point. Aaron, what do you think? I also don't know who that person is.

Well, we'll tell you who this guy is. He's the sex son of the billionaire who died of the Titanic's Immersible. Oh, it's the Blankham 82 kids? It's the Blankham 82 kids. I thought he was gonna be hot. No. Son of a billionaire, absolutely not. He's had a rough week.

First of all, his stepdad was turned into the sea spaghetti, and it's submersible. He also decided to go very online. He went really hard. People found out he had done all sorts of bad, creepy shit. He'd sent death threats. He'd stalked DJs. He got to a fight with Cardi B on the internet.

stalked a DJ once, you know? I did see the fight with Cardi B, actually. And then as of this morning, he deleted his Twitter account and presumably his Instagram, so good thing you pulled those pictures off there yesterday. Great timing on it. But I think overall, you know, did Sarah have a worst week than this guy? Yes. That's what I like to hear.

Sarah had a worse week than this guy. Because fuck this guy. Sarah isn't a much worse... For all we know, this is a guy who could have solicited Sarah for sex. He's got money to burn. Sir, you won a grand prize, which is a fancy new button. Go ahead and open that up. I was going to show you how to do that.

You get your very own wrong button. Fucking stupid. That's yours. Congratulations. We're going to work on that button. Well, I give you that to the other folks who came and sat in the front, right? Oh, of course. We are actually had that button for sale.

I believe it's all for $10. If you definitely want to check it out, we can record stuff for it. It's like a little button. It's nice shit. It's crazy. It's fun. Yeah, that's why I want to do.

Yeah. This is cool. Whatever. We'll figure it out after the show for now. Let's get wrong. Let's start the game off. Our contestants have already been scored points by making y'all laugh, and they're going to show you now what they think is buffed up with our first impressions round.

Everybody's going to do five minutes of what they think is their darkest, most fucked up material. They're going to score some points, and we're going to figure it all out together. Let's go ahead and start things off with Aaron Tracy, everybody. Thanks for Aaron. last year I decided to stop fucking stand-of comedians and people I don't like that much anymore I see some nuts yeah and then I didn't have sex at all in the circle I guess it just really fucking sucked because I just got in IUD so it was kind of like I was wearing a motorcycle helmet all the time never actually getting to ride on a motorcycle so I don't know I would have kids though

especially because I was married once I know don't be surprised there was a hmm okay I how it is, wow. I know I'm on the Husky show, but like, you know, it was good ones. I don't know. The thing is I learned from that experience that there are worse things than dying alone. You know what I mean?

It's being married to certain people. Also, you know, when you're having sex with someone and you're choking them, you're coming so hard when they also have a life insurance policy in your name. You know what I mean? Like, ugh. That's one thing. you can't get back when you're single.

You know, I thought I would have kids, and I'm, like, at that age, though, where if I did, it would kind of be, like, the genetic equivalent of squeezing the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube. I was, like, sure, it's still a kid, but it kind of tastes like Down syndrome. You know what I mean? That's what it tastes like.

It doesn't get lonely, though, so I like to listen to the radio. Does anybody else like the radio? Your list, you know what you're getting. But I just like to flip through the other news. night I was flipping through the channels and this woman came on and she was singing about this perfect love and she could fail or stray or make mistakes no matter what this person would always be there for her I thought I want that right

everybody wants that turns how that was Christian radio it's like I'm not a religious person but for like two and a half minutes I wanted to be loved the way Jesus love that world like I know it sucks up that thinking but I thought that's the kind of love you do butt sex for you know what I mean take it up the ass for Jesus. I am Irish Catholic. Did that give it away? I'm becoming my Irish Catholic grandmother, I think, is what that

means. We had this deal when I get home from school. She got to watch the soap operas, days of our lives, and another world. I'm a thousand years old. Did I mention that? And I got to watch Batman and Zorro. And I remember those times because another world was actually the first daytime

television show that dealt with abortion. I remember that day very distinctly because my Irish Catholic grandmother turned to me and she said, Aaron, Batman would never get an abortion. So when she sounded, it sounded like, Batman would never get an abortion. You know what I mean? Heroes don't get, you know, it's going to do the abortion joke, but it's not ready yet. So I'm going to tell my choice. Where do you go from abortion?

I'm a dog mom. Okay, one dog mom, man, I'm a dog mom. It's a tough, she's small, but tough. and like, you know, we walk around town and everybody stops me and they're like, whoa, what's his name? I don't want to correct him, because I don't know what her pronouns are, so I'm just like, it's poppy.

And I know I've done bad things in life, but everybody assumes that I'm saying, like, like, poppy. Like, I'm poppy. I can't even do this shit without feeling like a bad person for that act out. I feel really fucked up for that. I don't know what to do

because I think the only thing whiter than maybe. your dog Poppy in the first place is introducing her as this is Poppy with Hawaii being a dog mom though especially recently got my dog one of those dog DNA tests you know because she deserves to know who her father is and I have fucked a lot of dogs right I'm here and Tracy thanks everybody good gee that's the first time you haven't clapped was for fucking dogs is that the one thing that we don't support too far we found the line that's the extra point for too far We actually, I think we should get an extra point for too far, I think. But just one point, though.

I like that she brought up butt sex for Jesus, which I'm pretty sure that's the new slogan for the Vatican. Yeah. I think that's been the slogan for a long time. It's true. The white smoke comes out of the asshole now. That's right where it comes up and you pick a new book. There we go.

There's our other last Catholics in the room. Let's go ahead and find out what our next comment thinks is fucked up. Make it real loud for Lisa Shunoo. Thank you so much. I'm a bitch. I know if you could tell from my puffer vest, but I want a bitch. Just a cold bitch.

Bit of an ice queen, you might say. I actually just figured this out recently because every time a man sticks his dick inside me, he just goes, ooh cold. So you'll remember me, the girl with the freezing cold vagina. Growing up, my dad had dementia. One day in high school, I went into his room, and he called me by my mom's name. I was like, damn, is dad trying to fuck right now?

He wasn't. Despite being husky, I am recently married. I had to clap. It was to a man, so don't think about it too much. I do have a husband. I still hate men. I want that to be very clear. My husband and I were going out on a date, and I asked him, what kind of outfit do you think would be sexy for me to wear on this date? And then he said, overalls.

Overalls, where are we going? And I get it, like, I'm a fat person. You don't want to say, like, anything to make someone uncomfortable or whatever. And if you're sitting there and you're thinking, like, oh my god Lisa you're not fat you are also fat there's one way to tell if you're fat and it's if you think I'm not that's pretty much it I do think I have a pretty good body for someone who's

had two kids though I haven't had any kids I just do feel like I have a pretty good body for that that's kind of where I'm at you guys can relax fat people aren't people you know Chill, it's fine. I know people don't think that fat people are people.

I saw the old little mermaid where Ursula was based on a beautiful drag queen named Divine. And I saw the new little mermaid where it's just Melissa McCarthy. People. So true. So true. So true. My husband and I were having sex recently and we're in the middle of having sex. and my husband says, I'm blackout drunk right now.

And I was like, oh no. And I was like, hey, maybe we should stop, you know, reconvene in the morning. And then he said, no, no, no, no, I'm blacking back in right now. So I fucked him. I did it, but it's what a male comic would have done. That one, too real. That one too real.

That one too real. Does anyone here ever steal money out of their husband's wallet? Sorry, our wallet. I got in a little trouble with my husband. Sometimes I go out late at night. I have a little too much fun. I got in a little trouble, so I was Googling. And I googled, what are some nice things that you can do for your husband?

My Google search history is very sad. It's just that, and how do you know if people like you? But this article came up, and the first thing said, leave a nice note in his wallet. But then the second thing was just like suck his dick. And it's like who wrote this? You know? Like, what guy was sitting around

like, I can't put suck his dick first. I know. I'll put leave a little note in his wallet first and then suck his dick. Really throw him off the scent. I didn't like click around, but I imagine the third thing was just like tickle his balls a little.

all. The fourth one just says, do that thing with your tongue, Sarah. It's like her one specific woman. Does anyone here own a gun? I know it's LA, but like someone in here owns a gun. Statistically, like more than half of you have guns. Does anyone here have a parent? I'm not going to make fun of you. Does anyone here have a parent who owns a gun? Will your parent kill me? I don't want to live anymore. Okay, that's all for me. Thank you guys. Just wanna say, we have another,

I think another contender for maybe great audience members who, oh no, they're leaving, but they said it, hashtag not my Ursula. And I do think, but that's important. And if you guys, if you guys stick around, you could be in the running for prizes, but if they're walking out right now, who knows? I'm not my movies.

Alright, fine. I see how it is. Hashtag not my audience. All right, yeah. Go enjoy your movie, everybody. everybody Lisa Shadu. I'm gonna write that down, so if you want $10 writer's credit, come back to the show.

$10.00. Hey, we're on strike. That's fair. Wow. Tyler, do you have any, do you have any questions? I mean, if you were this guy, so this was a guy who wrote this article about the sucking the dick thing?

Yeah, I pretty sure it was a guy. I wrote the article that says, leave a nice note in his wallet, and then suck his dick. I feel like, he's so published on his own website and put it out, pass aggressively his home? Yeah, it was like a medium dog. It wasn't any, I mean, it wasn't journalism by any means. Why does it leave a nice note?

Like a mom trying to motivate her child when she's having a, when he's having a bad day in school, just leave a note the lunchbox. Tell him you love him a little bit, and he's going to do a great on his math test. All right, only a couple people resonated with that, And those are the most emotionally solid people here now. The bill has to say, I'm gonna give you a blow job later.

Just like mama used it. That's amazing. Here at wrong, we are very pro-oral. So, pro-o-o-o-prone instead, anything good's wrong or pro. Let's go ahead and find out what's fucked up from our next and final contestant. And make it loud for John.

Mike, oh, my God. Probably should not be a father. I'm not ready to be a dad because they're like, how am I gonna pay for college? or what will I name it? I know I'm not ready to be a dad because one time I thought, hey, what if the best night sleep I ever get

is the night I roll over on my baby? Like, that's going to haunt you because you can't sleep on it. Like, you can't recreate that, you know? Worst is I have a tempripetic, so I'd just be haunted every time I made the bed. Okay, rolling over on babies is where you draw the line. Good to know.

I know that white privilege exists because one time I almost got arrested eating pussy in a graveyard. All right, cool. Come on my audience. When I was in high school, I was a very religious kid, and I was dating a girl who was very religious as well. Her dad was a missionary, and if you're like, what kind of missionary was, I would tell you he's the kind that mimped it because he died in Poppin'Again. And let me tell you, that leaves a scar that reminds you that Christ is always watching,

and he hated your dad. So we were one of those couples that just had sexual tension, but no sexual activity. It was just a lot of, like, fighting and wanting to fuck, but we couldn't, because Jesus would be furious. And then one day she went to a sleepover, and a friend told her about oral sex, and she came back and reported to me,

and she's like, I heard about oral sex. Have you heard anything? And I was like, I've read some things, you know? And she's like, I think we could do that, God wouldn't be mad. And I was like, whatever makes you feel strong, I'm a feminist. So that Friday, I was like, we're going to do it.

We're going to do it real big. So I took her out to a nice Chinese dinner, and then I drove her to a graveyard to do the deed because I was 16 and super into the cure. And it was a hot summer night. We pulled in, and we got the back seat, and she was like, I want to go first. Can I do it to you?

And I was like, I'm a feminist, whatever makes you feel strong. And she did. She went down on me for like three minutes. And then I felt like a wetness. And I was like, really? I didn't feel anything. And then I heard her go, oh no, oh no. And that's what I realized she had vomited chicken fried rice

all over my business. But here's the thing, guys. First sexual experiences are important. You have to be full of empathy. You have to be full of heart. And that's why what I did was open the door and jump out of the car going, fuck no, fuck no, no, no.

And then I got back at the car, and she was crying because why wouldn't she be? And I was like, hey, you don't even have to do that. Tonight's not about my pleasure. Tonight's about you. lay back. And she was like, are you short? I was like, absolutely.

Lay back. And we went in the back seat of the car, and I performed. I'm proud to say, 25 minutes of the worst oral sex anyone has ever given. Yeah. Very confident, very bold, it wasn't good, just a lot of thumbs, like she was a PlayStation controller. And I am proud to say, after all that, she did come. That's important to me because of the rest of the story.

While I was down there, a type of us being lost in the moment, what also happened is she started her time of the month. Yeah. And I didn't notice, guys, because it was dark, and when the flavor changed, I just thought that meant I was crushing it. I was like, you do a good enough job. 20 minutes in, it tastes like pennies, I guess. And then we fit it, we were like wrapping up, and then from behind us got the old blue and red, and I was like, oh, fuck. I jumped in the front seat of the car, and I sped away, because I was 16 and white.

And we got chased by the cops out of the graveyard. We got to the front of the graveyard. There's a guy in his cop car blocking the entrance. We're like, we're caught, we got to stop. So we stopped, and the cop walked over, and he shined a light in my face. And he was like, what the fuck are you kids doing up there tonight? And with all the blue-eyed confidence God gave me, I said, stargazing. And then he looked at me.

They looked at my girlfriend, who was still alive. And he said, you get the fuck out of here. And I was like, thank you. We drove to a buddy's house, knocked on the door. I was like, hey man, I have a funny story to tell you. Can I use the bathroom? He looked real concerned. He was like, yeah, whatever you need, whatever you need.

Got in the bathroom. I saw myself in a full-length mirror. I looked like cannibal lector in the escape scene. I was just covered in blood. Hands, face, covered in blood. Here's my question. Why the fuck did that cop let me go? The murder, but I at least deserve to be asked.

And that's my privilege. It's you can leave a graveyard bloody if you have blue eyes and a smile. Thank you. John Michael Bond, everybody. Oh, boy, oh boy. The first time I ever had sex, it was in a park and I also was ready

to tell the cop that I was chargazing. I literally brought a stargazing map just in case. You didn't bring it just in case you're a fucking nerd and you had a stargazing. Yeah. You're wearing the suit you bought to your grandma's funeral. We know who you are, Jay. Hey, hey. I gotta be prepared. They're both still alive. I want to make sure if it looks nice. Tyler, what did you think about that? It was great. Very funny. I mean, the first time I had sex, it was during the Lizzie McGuire movie.

The original airing? It was in the movie theater. It was, uh, it was a fun. Oh, that was in theater. I forgot. I thought it was a let's watch a Disney Channel movie. Let's just say I didn't plan it, okay? I wasn't in charge of the viewing. Did you rip the Lizzie McClare movie? I think it was on TV. I don't know.

Do you all remember Ashley Simpson's pieces of me? That's where I lost mine. That music video. About the second performance on Nassano? The live performance with she a singing the whole time. Wow. Well, that was a wonderful first round. We got to know what's fucked up about all these comedians.

Tyler, tell us where our scores are. All right, third place right now, John was 600 points, and second place, Anna was 7 points, and Lisa in the lead with 800 points. It is still anyone's game. Now we, of course, now they've told us a little bit about themselves, but we would be remiss, just like any great game show, if we didn't do a little research and find out some stuff,

we wanted to ask about our contestants. So we're gonna enter the discomfort zone. If we have done some research, each of these comedians are gonna. going to get into the hot seat. We've done some deep dives and we have some questions about their past that we need to find out more about. We're going to start off with Aaron Tracy. Make some money for Aaron. Get right there in the middle. Okay. So, we did not know, Aaron, that you were married. I looked up. This was a, in your time in Florida, in the Tampa Bay Times.

Is that Johnny Sins? Give me points. Give me points. You get points for that. This is an article that was published. A marriage announcement in the Tampa Bay Times. Maybe the only marriage announcement the Tampa Bay Times has ever published. I can't confirm or deny that.

From this day, business turns from pleasure to matrimony. Oh, wow. Yeah. We had some, you know, we had some choice poll quotes. Oh, wow, yeah. After dinner, both parties decided to hit go. This is after your first date. That means we fucked.

Yeah. Hampton casually took Aaron to IKEA to ask her what she wanted to have in his house. He was definitely autistic, everybody. Not that person anything wrong with that. I married him. I love him, but... Ikea was the first stop. You called his house the chicken house. Why did you call his house the chicken house?

Well, Ebor City is a bird sanctuary for historic chickens. I'm sorry, did you say historic chickens? Historic chickens. It's a long line of historic chickens. She's not making that up. I've been to Ebor City. I didn't know. There was historic

imperative to be chickens. Those people have been rolling in the room in to Ebor City? What is happening? Does anyone else do you want to go to bad places? That's me. Those chickens have been rolling cigars in Ebor City since 1800.

Oh, my God. Well, we found this quote about your honeymoon. Your honeymoon in the very end here. Five days later, they departed on the dream vacation. A hundred and ten-day trek to China, Bali, India, Egypt, Jordan, and France. Quite a honeymoon. But obviously, you're not in this marriage anymore.

Well, here's the moral of the story. Is he available? For all the women out there, listen, listen, for all the people. You're around the world if you are willing to fuck someone you don't like that much for three years. You know what I mean? Do you know how many people here fuck someone they don't like for no-trap? It took 80 to go around the world. He was six foot free.

He was a pretty great number. My question is, why didn't you black widow him when he was autistic enough to take you out for three months? You know, kill him. Take the money. Warn him every day, I guess. You got a bunch of countries where he could have questionably disappeared. They almost didn't let him into China, everybody. Why? Why?

Because he had had some questionable dealings with the U.S. media. What? What are we? That's how we got published in the Tampa Bay. Well, my question really is, in which country did you first start considering divorce? Oh. Okay, this is really fucked up.

I've never told anyone this. Bish. Don't record this. Stop the recording. That is an incredible answer. Aaron Tracy, everybody. The craziest things we found in the research for the show until Lisa's thing.

which we've got in. I'm terrified. All right. Lisa, so we, you know, in our research, we found out that you were from, you grew up in El Paso, family's got an Italian or had an Italian restaurant up there now closed. Yeah, thank you for bringing that up, actually. My mom's family business closed during a pandemic. Thank you so much for bringing out that you're up.

It sounded like a wonderful restaurant. I don't believe that it deserves three stars. It deserves a five stars. I agree, but I'm biased. Well, we saw your five-star review of Sorrento Italian restaurant. Zero stars? That means Italian food. Nepo baby.

Everybody, Italian food nepo babies. We looked up. Yeah, six country honeymoon nepo baby. They put your career in a little to-go box and then it went nowhere. Because when we initially started this, we were like, oh, let's, Let's look up some bad reviews of this restaurant and fuck with the bad reviews. But then we saw you left a five-star review that was declined. Not, no, no.

Because I managed the Yelp business. Yeah, so you figured it out. You were too moral? Like, you denied your own review? No, they were like, this is our contact for Yelp business, because they can't review. You can't review your own business. Scott's not willing to write about it?

Oh, it's 11. Well, we found out, so we were like, well, let's look at Lise's Yelp profile. Oh, yeah. Lisa has to see. Oh, man. I know you need

someone to yell. That's right. Ready to yell. I just want to say Lisa and I were both in the photos that you pulled and like that's

serious evidence of women out running their past. You know. It's a time ago, yeah. We saw you had 40 reviews on your account. Some very recent. You had some really recent reviews.

I do. A lot of them are places I worked. You know. One other thing we notice is a lot of them mention Scott, the manager or the server, Scott. And he just wanted Scott who was very handsome. Did you marry Scott? I married him, yeah.

Yeah! It's really nice to let Scott carry a leash for once. Who's points for that. But you were so great at giving five star Yelp reviews. We do want to know. What would you say in a one-star Yelp review of your husband? Oh, we've heard a lot of it. But let's think about it.

What is he? Oh, would give zero stars if I could snores. Like snores, snores, not like just a little. Like, it's a C-PAT machine snores? Like definitely has an issue, snores. Like sometimes I sleep on the couch snores. Does he ever wake up in the morning and you have relocated to the couch because of how bad? Oh yeah.

Damn. This week, yeah. Are there any other bad things you want to mention? What do you think? What are you? Yeah, I mean, there's a ton. Are we going to dig into, let me see what else. One star year up review.

Oh, well, I will say that. Obviously, we both work in the service industry, and for an amount of time work together as equals, and now he is my superior, which I don't like very much. He is a GM of a very much. popular bar in Silver Lake and he came into the bar I work at and did it tip me so I would say that's his year's for a Yelp review he pulled it John and Penny are you that's horrible and I hooked him up too well I think those are pretty horrible

qualities and great qualities in the Yelp review Lisa Shanoo everybody boo sky real quick on the camera I was hoping he's coming just to this bit you know what every time what she can't say. Hey. I hate Scott. He's actually a really great guy. He is a really great guy. He looks nice.

He looks really nice. He is. Let's go ahead and move on to our final question. John Michael Bond, please come up here. I have a tattoo of a pop-punk band on my wrist. There's nothing you can say to me. So last time you were on the show, you did a bit about getting molested by a lifeguard, New York kids.

Attempted molested, yes. Here we go. Well, this is supposed to be him saying that he, lifeguard credit by it. This is actually a metaphor for what happens when a child is molested loses their voice. So if I don't win the show, he touches kids. I did win, but bit kills. It's a great bit, and we are curious though. Lifeguard seems like a little bit lower end. So which first responder would you rather be molested by? Firefighter, EMT, or cop? All right, I think, uh, firefighter EMT, or cop. All right, maybe this is too revealing about how much I hit

cops. I would not want to be molested by a cop because they would lie about it and also send someone to your house to shoot you. They're bad. Firefighters have really rough hands. They're caught. Here's the thing, EMT, like, of all the first responders, firefighters are constantly training for their job because they're the only people who actually save lives. Um, an EMT, if you're here, I'm sorry you failed at a community college. Um, I'm just kidding. That's just my EMT. Is there a bunch of them? Fuck. I don't.

EMTs work for companies that send you a bill for $2,000, so even if they save your life, they fucking ruin it. I'm just not sure an EMT could lift you. Yeah, no, absolutely.

Well, here's the thing. I weigh like 225 pounds right now, at my most 240. EMTs travel and pairs. Firefighters are required to be able to carry the fattest woman you've ever seen. So...

I'm right here. Not the fattest I've ever seen. But as someone who has not been fingered, but definitely had a hand put on them provocatively by a lifeguard who thought I had gained. I'm the victim. Fuck you if you're uncomfortable with that. I would go with a firefighter,

because at fair minimum, they're required to go through therapy to training to talk to victims, whereas cops just vouch for each other that the victim is lying. So yeah, I would want to be molested by a firefighter. I think that's a fair answer. John Hygobon, great work for the discovery.

Tyler, tell us where the scores are. Wow, it was a great round for John. Aaron here in the third place with 1300 points. Lisa, right there, 1400 points, and John in the first was 1,600 points. If the straight white male wins, we're on mute. Sexual, I've had sex with a man, but I don't use it in my act because I'm married to a woman and it feels like I'm lying.

That actually makes me the greatest ally. Alice. I'm so sorry. If the cloud bisexual white man wins, they're all mentioning. Let's move on to some of us fuck for love the game, Lisa. Y'all could always try harder.

You could do that. I think you know I'm only fucking for free dessert. Let's move on to our next round. This is a classic game show. Price is OnlyFans. There's a music that we love to hear. This is Price is Right, everybody. You guys low, you love the Price Right,

you've been homesick, you've watched True Carrie, Bob Barker. But what we've done is we have looked up in the age of OnlyFans. There are celebrities who do have OnlyFans pages. And we are going to have our comedians play. Price is Right rules to see if they can guess how much their pages cost to subscribe to without going over the line. Ready to this.

Do any of those subscribe any OnlyFans page? It feels appropriate to ask. Wouldn't that minute if I'm right? See, this tracks for every single person who I ask. Court is labor just like anything else is. Port workers. Only fans, DSA fans. That's right.

Let's go ahead and kill that music. Let's see who we have got coming up first. Tommy Lee. Oh, wow. Tommy Lee. Yeah, that Tommy Lee. And that kid. Come watch me be free.

I mean, the last time he was free, a kid drowned in his pool, so... There's some points for that. All right. Let's start off. John Michael's in the lead. It's John Michael, Lisa, Aaron, right? All right, well, we're going to start off with Aaron then. You go and get to guests.

Remember, it's closest without going over. I mean, that dick. Everybody. Am I the only one old enough to remember how big that day? I would pay a lot for this. I mean, it's way more than six. Inches or dollars? Both, that's what I'd say.

I'm saying, I'm saying a dollar an inch per month. So what are you saying, like $10 a month? $10? Higher? 12 inches? A lot of people revealing themselves as paying for earning just for Tommy Lee's only two. He picked me up once and I felt it.

You know what I mean? Oh my god. And I'm a good boy baby. All right, what's your friend? $9.99 per month. $9.99? I'm going $50. Oh.

John Michael. I'm gonna go with $20. Yay! Does anyone the audience, you still have a couple audience prize we can give out. Does anyone in the audience want to wager a guest, try and win a prize? Yes. I think it's like $30. $30?

$30? No, this is the cheap one. It's gonna be like $499. Ooh, $1.99. You're thinking he's doing a ball. You're talking like you should. 15.15. You know.

Anyone else? You got one? 25 right here. He's got a sushi bowl. Like, I've seen it all. What are $9.99. We got $9.99. Let's see how much family only been.

Night. This is robbed from a security bolt in my house. I will be subscribing for at least two months. I mean, Eric, I guess I could have a contestant. We did have an audience who gets 1599. So we got an audience prize. We got one more poster. All right, we'll give it somebody who gets exactly right.

Sorry, Tyler has decided to reneg on the prize. Let's cry for now. What do you mean, Tyler? Let's move on to our next celebrity, DJ Callad and Jack's go. Wait, look, did they do content together? They do. It's the light. Welcome to the light.

fans to get exclusive motivational and dot dot dot dot this one's gonna make me mad I already know whatever it is it's gonna make me mad he doesn't need pussy so I feel like 25 cents a month this is DJ Khaled's motivational only fans which I am furious exists and fact Joe's motivational only fans too that Joe got his own motivational only he doesn't need I can't that's like what a friend asks you for a ride home and then they're like and Rachel's coming. Like that's, yeah. You're buying DJ Calle.

That's just in the car. I would subscribe to Only fans where people are fucking and DJ Callie just opens the door and goes, DJ! Yeah, again, baby. You just keep another one. Another one. So we got 25 cents from Erin.

Lisa, what is your guess? It's gonna be more than I want it to be. I'm going 899. 899. I'm gonna say 999. I also have a theory that DJ Call is actually regarded. And I mean that in the most loving way possible because he's worth $20 million and I'm not. But everything he says sounds like someone who was like been in an accelerated

program their whole life. Sure, yeah. And it's just like telling themselves how good they are. And you're like, how's it going to be? He's like, I don't know, another one. That's something that only a billion dollars only comes. If any way, I think he's aspirational to the down community. So let me say, $9.99. You need to ask for him? any audience guesses anybody anybody shout them out what we got forty dollars that's all right so bad it's forty dollars free free free something's free 1799 1799 oh 799 1599 299 let's see how much you can't get a big double for 299 it actually is it is 4 499 Ricardo's had a lot of time to look at only fans

What the fuck is the pay-review on that like? They're like, we're gonna your first 10 minutes of an anti-suicide speech, but if you want the whole thing, five about. I'm sorry to right now, I won't watch it for free. I wouldn't watch it. They're underselling themselves on the internet and you can pay $30 for a video like that. Cheaties. Tell me that's not a special needs kid who made good.

I hope you. I'm sorry. You're watching Dick Caled. He is aspirational. Our final one, Rachel Dolazol. No way. She's verified everything. That's a check mark.

No. Welcome to my only fan page where I post creative content and give fans. Oh, wait, wait, look at the wrinkles and the cleavage. Yeah! By the way, black does crack. Right, right. Does she identify is hot on this or... Let's see.

She's got, you know, who knows? You know, who knows, she could be earning a pretty penny on Onlythans. She's definitely charging though, right? There's no way it's free. It's not free. And which is even more maddening. Somehow this one should be free and the DJ Calib one should be costing money. Well, but we know she's an intellectual, so.

Right. Right. Of course. I know that. What do we think? She's the only solo interracial material. That's points. He got points for it.

Nine per month. Lisa, what do you think? I think she needs the bulk numbers because she's showing her body, right? So I'm gonna go, but you think people are gonna pay more for it? I don't know. I feel like it's $4.99. I wouldn't pay that, but I don't know.

Someone might. Would anyone, make someone who pay $4.99 to see Rachel Dole's out's titties on Onlyfans? We've got a fervent of a hand. raise and a half clap. It's the first time someone made noise, but it was like a guilty grove. Is she doing it as a black woman or a white woman? Because she'll get paid more if she's doing it as a white woman, right?

That's a great, that's a great point for that. John Michael, what do you think? I see someone who thinks their proud black woman and also her hair is recently done. That's week. She paid for it. Any last minute audience guesses? Any audience guesses? 2499. What is it? 299. 299? 29. 49. 49. That was the confidence of a man who knows. I like it. I mean, and he's willing to pay $499. Yeah. Just once. Just once. That's the intro price. Let's see where Richard Old's all the price is. Oh! On the money. Nice work. I was giving her too much credit. Like many, Well, that is the first part of the price is only fans.

We can hit that next slide. That's what we got the next slide ready for. Look at that. Oh! Now, just like on the prices right, our contestants have all played, they're getting ready to enter the Showcase Showdown. And before you get to play the Showcase Showdown, they have a big wheel that you get to spin, right? And you got an open mic.

Drew Carey comes right up and talks to you. You have to say whatever you want into that open mic. open mic sometimes people say some kind of weird shit like this yeah Drew I'm gonna do it volume and he just wants to say hello to the haters because it made him move he is how much did you make because the haters he didn't win he didn't he didn't even make it to the showcase show net after that he made zero money off of the hair doesn't he have a bookmark in his pocket a picture of himself

that is himself yeah he's got those video boards for dogs that's very sweet Calling out the haters before you eat shit is a real powerful little bit. But now just like this gentleman did, we do want our contestants to have a chance to have an open mic, but since it's wrong, playing a little bit different. These contestants are going to get a chance to say, whatever would get them cut off on stage. We're going to get them to the technical difficulties screen because their mic gets pulled. We're going to start off with Aaron Tracy. Aaron, come on up. Thanks boys for Aaron Tracy. Thank you.

Get them behind. All right, and you've spun the wheel. Aaron, what would you like to say to the folks at home? Well, I did it all a bit too early. We literally actually had technical difficulties. That is what happens a lot. I understand. What would you like to say to the folks at home?

I just want to say thank you to my two previous abortions, because without them, I wouldn't be here. Previous abortions. Like you got a third one plan. All right, go ahead and hit that space bar, Yorgo. There we go, and we will wait until I give the signal. Let's get East Lisa Shanoo. Come on up, Lisa. What's the folks at home?

I would just like to, oh my god, why is there a little boy in a priest in that corner? Yeah! All right, and John Hockabon, come on up, get ready to spin that wheel. What would you like to say to the folks at home? I just think that everyone, they'd come true, and they think we all learn that as a nation.

On September 11th. On September 11th, second to go ahead and tabulate the score, see how everybody's doing. But in the meantime, let's go ahead. Quick word from our sponsor. Perfect time to grab a drink and come back down. We'll see you just a sec. Yeah. When the good time is so far away.

There comes too much less. With five people on there. I have one and he got one. You sound jealous. The five people on board of British being in. billion air using technology

computer for a steering so if you get to get a different after a tennist after a tannist after a traffic

of merging television television so on board oh my next one for a sponsor this week Sean Freud everybody it appears We've got some scores. We're coming up on the end of the game. How are our contestants doing?

Right now, Aaron and Leaves are tied with 1,800 points, but John is still in a late with 2200 points. Oh, good news. There's going to be some truth about the scores this night. There's going to be, we'll see what happens. We still have another couple rounds. This next round is around where anything could change. Oh shit. Because this is the round where we're going deep. We're diving dark into people's social media and into their past. into their past. This is a round called

Entweetment. I like that. I like clapping for entreatment. We like to clap for tweeter. We have looked through all of these comedians, social media, just their Twitter, and we have pulled old tweets from their past, and we have blanked out some of the words in those tweets.

We are going to make them guess what they actually said all those years ago. And don't worry, I know they might I know they might be a little bit nervous, but I'm nervous too because my cracks in the researchers did it for me as well. Okay Just did blank Hashtag Hollywood blank Black Telly Murder

I tweeted this April 2nd, 2013, one retweet, one link Very bad engagement It's got to be blow, right? You're sober So it has to be blow This was seven, probably ten years ago, yeah. Yeah. That's what I think it is.

I actually never did cocaine. I don't believe you. And I never did cocaine. Really? I never did it. Did that smile? Look at the clues, though. He's a writer now.

He's gotten some success. So it has to be Justin Ano for the first time. But don't worry, we have some pre-prepared, ready to go. Let's see what our options are. Just did cocaine with a telitubbing. I didn't want to spoil. I didn't want to go, I want to corpse tinky winky thing. I didn't want to blow his deck.

Just did Zumba with a turtle from ontorize. Hashtag Hothiwoodway. Did I say A, did it be true? So I'm heartbroken by the idea that you've been working out for 10 years. I would like to know if it's Turtle the actor or Randall Emmett. That's what I would like to know. Our final option, just did an open mic for three people. I mean, what do y'all think is?

It's like, I'm an open mic for three people. It was in 2013, I think. Yeah. That would be in the Rattibou. I would also be from 2023, though. I don't know. I don't know. You know?

Maybe you're Zumba, though. I don't know. Let's be you're at Zumba. Drop it. No. I can't. I can't, I can't twerk with these pants. I can't do it.

I'm going to go Zumba as a wild card. Oh. So we got one guess for Zumba. We got two guesses for open mic for open mic for three people. I'm gonna open mic and three people. Yeah, thanks. Well, the correct answer is didn't open mic three people.

When in doubt, know with the most desolate fucking answer? You know what, though? Let's give Lisa some points just for trying. I think Lisa deserves some points for having faith. I love for kidding for all. Give it all the pretty for us. We're all about getting things wrong on this show.

Take away Aaron's points and give you to Lisa. Now I need you to question my methods. All right. Speaking of Aaron, Erin, please come on up. Get on that hot seat. You're about to get to tweeted. Aaron, on December 8th, 2019, you tweeted.

Looking forward to when. The election next year. Two likes. Two likes. Eating dinner alone again. Aw. Yeah, I mind your sympathy. I don't want your love.

Do you have any idea what you're doing at 10.58 a.m.? December 8th, 2019. I'm looking forward to. I have no idea. I have not on Twitter. Looking forward to January 6, 2021. All right. Your first option, looking forward to telling Grandma, froze my eggs. It's the holiday season. It could be, you know, perfect time to announce. Looking forward to No Nut 2020. I thought this year was No Nut, No Nut. 22.

Oh, damn. We're coming right off No Not November. Oh, fair. And Aaron may have predicted COVID being No Not 22nd. Perfect time.

We also got looking forward to blacking out on the blood of Christ holiday season. Now, Aaron, we're going to give you a second to think about which one you think it might be.

Lisa and John Michael, y'all will get a chance to guess. Which one do you think is a real tweet? I wanted to be blacking out on the blood of fire. Yeah.

I've never seen such an aspirational answer. And I also, if it is, any of them should get more of the two lives. Yeah, criminally underrated. I'm being helped on Twitter. I'm really torn. I'm going to go with telling Grandma I froze my eggs. But, like, I'm torn because I feel like fewer people would like that.

So I'm going to go with the grandma frozen eggs. All right. Aaron, do you think you know which one's a real tweet? I think I do. Which one do you think it is? I think it's known that 2020. Nice work, Erin. Congratulations,

how we may return to your seat. Now let's see Lisa. Lisa, come on up. Okay, I'll wait to see you later. Lisa is ready to get and tweeted. Hey y'all, don't blank. Just learn the hard way. 2015.

This got three likes. So far, you're doing better than me and Aaron. than me and Aaron combined. So great news. 11.13 p.m. Do you have any idea what this could have been? Don't have sex with comedian James Fritz.

He would laugh. Relax. Somebody has... I just let someone make him smile. Clearly not. All right. Well, let's see some options. Hey all, don't describe someone.

Lisa. You worked at the service industry, maybe somebody gave you a cheap tip. Is that how that word means? Lisa would never sell that with an egg. I'm gonna guess it's not that one. Next option. Hey, don't take your birth control with a shot of whiskey. Just learn the hard way.

And third option, hey all, don't sell your bottled farts on eBay. Second. Just learn the hard way. A lot of people think it's a second, at least it's going to take a second to think about it. Which one do y'all think it is? I feel like shot of whiskey and birth control go really well together, like Whiskey Taser, right?

What was the first one again? You say it. I'm going to go with, I mean, should double check the pronunciation. I feel like if you were, industrious enough to sell your parts in 2015, and you wouldn't still work in bars. So, I'm going to go with a shot of whiskey and birth control.

Lisa? Shot of whiskey and birth. I think I remember this. So it's great. Your birth control, by the way, so we know. Good to know. You like Bob at your birth control. You might not have birth control.

You've got John Michael Bond is ready to have to do it. For 10 years with unmedicated bipolar. So let's see what you got. Let's see if we picked one of those years. It's 2011 one of those years. Alright, 153. Oh, it's over 25th, 2011. This is difficult.

Alright, so let's see. I was a social worker when this happened. I'm as surprised as you, Tennessee, very low standards. It sucks when you meet a blank. Another ginger. No, no, other gingers are great. We're not to persevere, we've all cut blow. It sucks when you meet a... I have no fucking idea.

2011. Let me think about where you were in 2011. You were in Tennessee in 2011? Yeah, I mean, there's a decent chance it would be Nazi. So, I met at least five separate Nazis while doing home visits as a social worker. And I had to be professional the entire time because I couldn't just be like, let your kids die. So.

Sex wouldn't need a hot Nazi. Let's see some options. I mean, they're all ripped because they're all, like. really really that model now nervous do I get points for making the other comics laugh of course you can't probably gave you more points but we're gonna give Aaron a couple

six points on six points just six more six more points I would be clear I never helped a Nazi stay on a government program I'm very fuck them kids let's do some options folks it sucks you need a polite Nazi okay okay option two it's actually white Mexican No, they're great.

It sucks when you meet, eh? Hot Republicans. There's tons of Hot Republicans. That's no. Now, I'm gonna go, wait, wait, wait, don't go yet. Okay. I mean, I already explained the answer, because I don't know when to shut up. But we still want to see with Aaron and Lisa think.

Aaron and Lisa, what do you think? I feel like since I know the real answer, I'm gonna go with the answer at my heart, which is Hot Republican as a person from Florida. Absolutely. It does. I'm gonna choose the answer I was led towards and say, polite Potsie. I feel like, assuming it is.

I know the specific Nazi, this is a... Let's see that polite Nazi? Yeah, but I went to a house doing home visits, and I had to drive like half mile up a, like a winding gravel road. Okay. And about, like, 100 feet before I got to the house, a swarm of puppies, Followed like swarmed by car and they were yipping and there was grinding gravel which is very stressful

Are you one of those comics that make stories that no This is I told that way but yeah Is this the word of his story for your marriage? He got me he got me sweet tea. It was a very hot day He was watching Seinfeld I there's a lot to unpack there. Yeah, no I was a point Was he watching Seinfeld and just not laughing just like I think as far as he was concerned it was canceled that he wasn't helping anybody. But yeah, no, I very specifically remember the Nazis.

The polite Nazi. I think it should be, it stopped when you meet a Nazi with puppies. Oh, no, unfortunately this is the problem with meeting Nazis doing social work. They all have loose dogs. They don't believe in the government, they don't believe in racial equality, and they apparently don't believe in spaying their pets. Also, if you're trying to get a specific breed of dog, you know the Nazis are going to have the purebred.

Absolutely. And also, apparently zero people agree with you. No likes, no weeks, no weeks. Well, to be fair, I traded for like two years before I knew you were supposed to have followers. So, uh, thanks much for John. Michael Bond, everybody. Wow, wow.

Let's get to that title slide. Now, we have one round left, our final round. But Tyler, before we get to that, let's see how our comedians are doing, how our contestants doing. Right now, we have Aaron in third place with 2,200 and 6 points. Yeah! Give her an extra 6! All right, six for her. Daddy, no what, give her an extra 6.

1-2.2212. And second place, Lisa, with 2,400 points. And in the first place still John, 2,700 points. Wow. I can get 300 points, right? Absolutely. Can I give 100 to Lisa? Sure!

Let's give 100 a job. I gave you six. That's the generosity of a straight white man right there. Bisexual, white. Bravely, quietly bisexual. Bravely. Now, folks, our final round, we've gone through a lot of really dark, uncomfortable topics tonight. We want to make sure everybody leaves the show on a nice note.

So we're gonna go with the pallet cleanser as our final round. Our comedians are going to get us out of here with their cleanest, most wholesome joke. And this entire game pinches on what y'all think is the cleanest, most wholesome joke, who wins the round? Now we have some opportunities here, you know? You could wager all of your points

on how great you think your joke is, double it up, or you could stay safe, stay close. stay close into the league. I know we have Lisa and Aaron are both in a position where they could be doubling up and maybe beating out John Michael. Yeah. They can do it. We got to see what's going on. Do you want to do? How confident are y'all

in your clean jokes being the winning joke of the night? Is it the best clean joke or the most wholesome clean joke? Ooh. The best. The best. The audience says best. The audience is the best, so we're going with best. That's the best audience members. Two posters.

It's a real winner. Alright, do you want to risk it all or play it safe? I want to risk it all or play it safe? I have zero confidence and I will risk everything. What about you're talking, Michael? You're gonna risk it all, play it safe. I'm just here to have a good time, guys. Sure, I'll risk it all.

This is what I love. This is fantastic. All right, well let's go ahead and start off with our comment, who is in third place, a pallet cleanser from Aaron Tracy. And they reach the age where when I'm in the wild, people either call me ma'am or young ladies. I know I hate all those things, but what I like about it is I now know I've entered a face of my life I like to call young ma'amhood.

Tell that joke, because you look great for your age. You're aging like a fine wine, which I think is gross because I'm a white woman and the reality is I'm aging like an avocado. Thanks everybody. Erin Gracie, everybody. And let's go ahead and get our palettes cleansed by Lisa Shanoo. Makes some work. and I are going on a trip together and he called me on the phone and he was like, hey, babe, I just need to confirm your full legal name and birthday.

And then he got my name right, which is like, wow, so sweet of him. But then he said his ex-girlfriend's birthday. Yeah, and that just made me feel kind of weird, you know? Because it's like, why do I know his ex-girlfriend's birthday? I shouldn't know that. Lisa Shanoe everybody. And finally, a palislander from John. Michael Bond.

I think we can all kind of agree on that. Some people are out there, like, oh, I've been stuck inside. I don't know how to flirt anymore. I don't know how to find love. And I want you to know that love is out there for every single one of you. And I know that because the oldest living creature

on the planet Earth is a 129-year-old turtle named Jonathan. Oh, Michael Bond. He... He's been swimming around. How are you 29 years old? And you're like, oh man, that must suck. That guy must be a widow.

Widower. No, he's not. Jonathan has been in a monogamous relationship for 45 years with another turtle named Francesca. Yeah, even when you're elderly, love is there, guys. Love is there so much that when Francesca came down with a debilitating, possibly lethal illness, scientists were like, fuck, natural selection.

We're going to save Francesca. Jonathan needs love. They took Francesca out of the ocean. They took him into the operating room. They cut Francesca open. They saved Francesca's life. And while they were in there, they found out that Francesca, along with it enlarged heart, has like a giant dick.

Which means that the oldest living creature on earth was a 129-year-old gay British turtle. Years ago, guys. This year, they found Francesca, or Francis, I guess now, and Jonathan. And they found out that they had taken a lover that they've named Eliza. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That means that the oldest living creature on Earth is a 129 sexual British turtle. And you're like, I can't find love?

Fuck you, okay? He swam across the ocean. They were like, we like your vibe. What's up? Thank you. Good one, everybody. All right, it is time to come down to the audience vote. Now remember, all these comedians risked at all.

So whoever wins this, wins the entire the entire game. Before we do? Can I give John back 100 points because I forgot that his birthday was yesterday? Aw. Yeah, thank you. You shouldn't give me anything. It's your week.

I mean, you know what, I'm gonna get, because I forgot his birthday is yesterday, too. I'm gonna give an extra 100 points. Come on! I don't want to win because of my birthday. Can we touch all those points for pandering? Can all my birthday points go to Aaron God, God, no, Gino. This is what we like to see. This is the viciness.

All right. Audience, it comes down to y'all. Please make it loud. For whoever you think won, make it definitive, only vote once, please. Do you think the Palo Clenser Round was won by? Aaron Tracy. Uh-oh. Do you think the Palo cleanser round was won by?

Lisa Shanoo. She did those points after all. Who do you think the pal comes around was one bite? John Michael Bond. Lisa, shoot out. It's okay. I feel he'd crush a lot of people. Everybody, what they won?

Third place. You win this book. I got this book for free, at Alien Bookstore. It's the Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism by Max Weber, everybody. It was in 1950. Second prize, the updated version. God won.

Publinson, 59. You got this all of you? This guy's in jail now. Our champion today, you get my life in the LAPD. Oh, no! My jail, F. Gates. And open it up, open it up that front page. Is there a bloodstained?

That front page? Very front page. A sign to Sue Brown, quickly will search Mikey Jim Brown's wife. I don't know. Thank you so much for coming to our last year. Our contestants, Eric, Tracy, John Michael Bond, Lisa Shanoon, Tyler Mennonrich, Alma Draft House, Giorgo, I've been Jayla.

We'll see y'all next time. Please make sure if you dig by ticket, go ahead and tip your comics right here, scan that memo. And we'll see you next time right here, the alma draft house. Hey well, everybody.