WRONG! A Fucked Up Game Show - #23 – MAGA ZOOLANDER (ft. Audrey Stewart, Nicole Aimee Schreiber, Sean Grant)

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

Recorded live at The Comedy Store in Los Angeles, CA on 10/5/24.OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS: Audrey Stewart, Nicole Aimee Schreiber, Sean GrantSUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE to watch full shows in glorious HD!⁠⁠���⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠COME SEE US LIVE!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Upcoming Shows:LA: 11/2 @ The Comedy Store, 11:45 PMSan Diego: 11/15 @ Mic Drop Comedy Club, 7:30 PMSUPPORT THE SHOW: https://ko-fi.com/wronggameshowcover photo by Van Corona Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of Wrong, a fucked-up game show podcast edition. I'm your host Jay Light, and today's episode is our most recent show from the Comedy Store. This one features Audrey Stewart, Nicole, Amy Schreiber, and Sean Grant, and it is a doozy. I hope you enjoy it. I certainly enjoyed hosting this one. It was a ton of fun. The best way to see the show, as always, is alive. We've got upcoming dates for November. We'll be at the Comedy Store again on November 2nd at 1145 p.m. And we'll be at Mike Drop Comedy Club in San Diego on the 15th at 7.30 p.m. Early show, different from our usual time. So if you're a San Diego fan, make sure you mark your calendars for that early showtime. If you like the show, you want to support us. Feel free to subscribe to the YouTube channel where you can see full episodes as they are released on video.

You can also drop us a donation in the Kofi jar. We've got a link to that in the show notes as well. but without further ado let's get wrong welcome to me and fuck up game shows this year you buddy welcome to wrong

a fucked up game show mavit a hand for Miranda Meadows our opening her oh my god incredible this is fantastic you guys are a great audience like we got repeating people

we got people who've never seen the show before I love this who likes game shows makes noise if you like game show what we have done here is we have created a game show that is fucked up. And it's not just fucked up because you're going to hear some fucked up things.

We're going to go to some fucked up areas. As Miranda explained, we are committing psychological warfare against the comedians on the show. We have dug up things for the past. This game is fucked up because it is fucked up for all of our contestants to play this show. Lasting psychological damage we've done

to Miranda Meadows. Very excited for you guys to be here tonight. We got some great new games. You guys have been here. Make some have you been here before by the way one more it is after midnight and uh fucking fuck that show by the way after after midnight uh fuck that fucker we got a show we have uh one of our producers it is her birthday as of four minutes ago so everybody makes noise for Daisy Green happy birthday Daisy Green I don't know where she is but probably we do love Daisy Green you're married to her I am married to her that's important yes I am shitting where I eat, and it tastes delicious.

Let's fucking rock and roll. By the way, we have over here my man in the corner, Mr. Laptop himself, it's Tyler Meznerich. Yeah, all right. My announcer, our scorekeeper, and our prize master. Yeah. He does have a big bag of prizes. We have a sponsor for this show, Maxwell Farms,

from the finest Mariguana in all of, I wouldn't say all of Southern California. I'd say all of the fucking world. How about that? Yeah, fuck, yeah. And we also said, if you don't smoke and you win a prize, don't worry, we got other prizes that Tyler found on the streets of West Hollywood. Yes. Found on the streets and then some leftover ones from when Ellen DeGeneres left Warner Brothers.

It's collectibles. Yeah, good stuff. We are going to start off. We do always start off. We want to make sure the audience get some prizes right out of the gate. I can already tell you guys are going to be a great crowd. So let's go ahead and see who's having a bad week with a game called Worst Week. Fucking thing sucks!

Yeah. That's right. We have asked, you guys have filled out these cards at the front of your pieces stage here, that's very good. Thank you guys for doing that. You guys are wonderful. But we do have two people who we think had probably the worst weeks, and we're going to pit them against each other and see who actually had the worst week.

So our first worst week is Tanya. You gotta stop having such bad weeks, Tanya. This, in five words of the last, why Tanya had a bad week. Got an email from my stalker. Ha ha smiley face Now I understand Are you comfortable answering a single question about this tanya? How

What was the tenor of the email? Was it like a nice email? What was the subject line? My address And it was just a fucking picture in the body And that's it, that's all we got. Holy shit. Tanya, do you smoke? Do you smoke weed?

No. Maybe we should get a book for Tanya. I feel like, I mean, Jeanette, I don't know, where's Jeanette? Jeanette, I don't know if you're going to be able to top Tanya, but we're going to find. Yours is pretty good. My friend from college died. Yeah. What did he die of?

Actually, he killed himself. Now, that's what we fucking love to hear on this show. I'm sorry for your loss. But you do get to win. Do you smoke weed? We have some chewable weed. I feel like both of our contestants. shared pretty fucked up weeks in different ways.

So let's go and celebrate both these people's fucked up weeks. We've got a weed prize for Jeanette and a non-weed prize for Tonya. How about that? Yeah, you know what? Let's do for both. For Tanya, here's this book by Diane Keaton. It's saved. I don't know what it is. It's a big photo book.

Yeah, awesome. Thank you. You don't want it. You can probably like sell it for money. It feels like saved. And then. And then for Tanya. No, that's for Tanya. Yeah, for Jeanette. Sorry, for Jeanette. It's a snick.

to O'Aidj and also this book by Kate Hudson pretty happy pretty happy happy love your body I don't know something around there you go you got some weed one of those books from Elton generous shows so now they're yours the Maxwell Farms guys said that is strong so take some nibbles and make some noise for our people who had fucked up weeks

Tanya and Jeanette I got a whole bag of goodies over here we got a bag of goodies we're gonna keep an eye on who's being good audience members you guys are going to get some good prizes so keep up the good work yeah let's go ahead and let's go ahead and get to our contestants this is a game like I said it's all about the comics you guys are here you guys are a great crowd I can already tell but this is a game where we're here to put some of the best comics in the city through a dark comedy gauntlet and to start off we're gonna

find out what they think is fucked up with a round that's called well trains good news I like to hear it we have asked all these comics to to do their most fucked up jokes. It might be dark. It might be dirty. But it will definitely be wrong. As a matter of fact, you know what? Tyler, we didn't even do the thing with them.

Yeah, you want to do it? Yeah. This is most games shows you like when people do things right. But here, we like it when people do things. Wrong. Oh, we got to get the whole audience. A little better than that. We do a little fucking better than that.

We like it when people do things? Wrong! Yes. Let's give this table, both of them. They get some prizes because they yelled, right out the gate. You want drug prizes? Drugs?

Yes. Drugs, drugs, drugs. Chuck them some drugs, Tyler. All right. These are pretty good. So this is, okay, this is a pre-roll. A pre-roll. Jay, you want to intercept?

Yeah, I'll accept. Pre-roll. And then this is mushrooms. This is mushrooms. So, a lot of mushroom class back there, I say. All right, all right, I still. I've got a couple more. Let's go ahead and get to know our contestants.

We've got three incredible comedians. Our first contestant has acquired the necessary knowledge she needs to succeed at any opportunity given to her within entertainment that may arise. How do we know that? Well, that's an exact description from her Wix website that hasn't been updated since 2015.

Was opportunity spelled wrong? You betcha. Makes noise for Audrey Stewart, everybody. just got ADHD. Who knows how to spell opportunities? Spell it. O-E-T-O-R-T-U-N-I-T-Y. I, yes.

Opportunities. Boot. I was like, if they're going to bring me down, I'm going to bring someone else down. No, I'm just kidding. I'm an idiot. What's up, you guys? This is dark, huh?

I thought this is going to be really cute and whatever. And then Miranda was up here. She was like, I wanted to fucking kill myself. I'm like, what the hell's about to happen tonight? Okay, alright, well we're having fun. Dark and dirty, I'll tell you what, I got it. Okay, whew, what am I just crowd-surfed and you died?

Okay. And I was like, first dark thing, that, she's dead. Okay, dark and dirty. Okay, I'm bisexual, and that's not the dirty thing, but it can be, all right? Do we have any whatever-daters in the crowd? Why'd you just do this? Okay, that was crazy. I go, any whatever-d-d-ers?

And he goes, he was like, piss. He was like, what do you mean, bitch? Put it in my face, whatever. Gobble, gobble, gobble. You know what I mean? I've never done that before, and that was wild. That's actually, I had a blue moon. I'm not quite right.

Okay, just like anything, you know. I just, you know, okay, you know. Okay, are you a whatever dateer? Yeah. Okay, is this your woman? Wife. Okay, did you know this about him? Yeah, okay.

All right, good. I love that shit. That's beautiful. That's good. And you know what? I love being a whatever dateer. I love being a bisexual. And I feel like I've come a long way, okay? Because I grew up in a very conservative area. Okay. Indiana. Any, any Midwesterners? Okay, I love that you just went, ooh. Okay. You said, ooh. All right? Yeah. Super Catholic school. All right. Growing up, all my teachers were ex-nuns, okay. And one teacher was an ex-n nun with no eyebrows. And she had a tick. And it was, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. So think a closed-minded Matthew McConaughey. Just okay, okay, okay, okay. And she would say fucked up shit to me, okay? She'd be like, Hurricane Katrina happened because that's the day the gays were gathering. Oh, car, oh, car, oh, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car.

And I was like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. So I was so suppressed for a very long time. And I actually didn't start doing the thing with the women until, like, I got out to L.A., too, right? But I was very stunted when I got to college. I went to Indiana University. Not knowledge you needed, but, oh, God. And literally when I got there, I joined a sorority.

Uh-oh, we know why now. Shut up. Okay, yeah. We loved it. Okay, join the sorority. I was like, Catherine, you look nice today. She was like, what? I was like, what?

Okay, look out with me, Catherine. Okay, yeah, yeah. I also knew that I probably was not just into men by the way that I approached men in our sorority, too. Because, like, literally, I remember everybody used to sit on a floor in a circle in one of the sorority rooms, and then, like, my friend would be like, Rebecca. She'd be like, yeah, I just suck Tyler's dick.

And I was like, oh. Oh, yeah, Rebecca? What was your time? She was like, uh, what? I was like, what? Was your personal record, Rebecca? Because mine was two minutes and 30 seconds. She was like, I'm not sucking dick for sport.

And I was like, make out of me, Rebecca. Can you imagine I'm just sucking you off? And then you finish and I hit a timer. And I'm like, somebody throw me a gay rachel. Let's fucking go. Okay, can anybody be 2.30 too? Anybody beat 2.30? Okay.

Woo-hoo! She's like, get the keys, we're leaving. Okay. But yeah, so that's how I was. But also, before I got to the dick-suck and stage, I was literally a little suppressed, too, from my Catholic school days, right? And I was the last one in my story

to ever have an orgasm, okay? Me and, I guess, two of my friends, okay? And I found them, and I was like, you know what, you guys? this ends tonight. They were like, what? I was like, we're gonna orgasm together. They're like, we're not gay.

I was like, me neither, okay? So I was like, we're gonna get vibrators, all right? But then we searched the price of a vibrator. Has anybody ever searched the price of a vibrator? They're fucking expensive. They're fucking expensive. How expensive is yours? Okay, boozy.

What the hell? Okay, I'm still ordering mine off T-moot. She's broke. With their champagne glass. 150. I'm like, what the hell? Okay, that better blast your clit off. Okay. But they're so... I better light that shit on fire, but they're so expensive.

They are. So then I was like, okay, we got to go in on one vibrator. Okay? So we all split this one vibrator, all right? Sister to the travel suction 3,000. Okay? So we split this vibrator, and my friend, I was like, okay, we're going to all use it separately, but together on the same night. My friend goes, in the room she uses it she's like we're waiting in the hallway she comes out she was like that was fucking awesome and then my other friend goes in she uses it she's like blah blah like yeah and then it was my turn to use it right and I just couldn't find it so I faked it and I was like

yeah right and I came out and they're like that was awesome but I was like I have to have my orgasm the same night as them so then I went to a frat okay found this guy and I was like you got to get me an orgasm and he was like I guess right so we went back to the sorority house grab the traveling vibrator took it back to his place my other two sorority sisters I use it with are texting me they're like where is it like I had to check it out like it was a library book checked out 10 52 p.m. check back in 1 a.m. condition wet right and so then I use it with this frat boy and I'm my first orgasm ever and I wet the bed everywhere okay and it was no hurricane Katrina but it was close. Oh Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl.

That was fucked up and weird. Okay, I've been Audrey Seward and that is. Everyone's like, we're scared. Jay Light everybody. Contestant number one, out the gate. Didn't she win a vibrator last time you were at this show? I did. Those are fucking good vibrators.

Oh, my God. You should tell the company how much you love that so we can get them to also sponsor us again. Let's go and bring up your next contest. You guys are going to meet your next contestant. When we told our next contestant that she had to stay at the show the entire time, her exact words were, oh, fuck, really? Makes noise for Nicole, Amy Schreiber, everybody. Yeah, I have to stay the whole time.

I was like, what are we doing? paid for the whole time I don't know I mean I would have done it for free I love Jay he was like one of my first friends in comedy and don't we kind of look related we tell people we're brother and sister sometimes it's fun I don't know about Audrey being gay but I sure look the part right now I don't know what does this jacket say I just borrowed it because it's snowing in here it's fucking freezing is anyone else just nipples hard Yeah, I thought I was gay, mainly because everybody thought I was gay.

So I was like, well, if everybody thinks I'm gay, that feels pretty gay, you know? Like, if everyone in your life is constantly being like, oh, do you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a girlfriend? I was like, I should probably try and have a girlfriend. And then I dated a woman during the pandemic, and I found out the hard way that I'm not. not gay. I was forced to eat a pussy at gunpoint. No, I had to listen to a woman talk for three weeks. And I was like, we're good.

We don't shut the fuck up, do we? No, we don't. I was like, when are you going to shut the fuck up? So I can talk and not shut the fuck up. One of us is going to have to have a point at some point. A homeless guy called... By the way, are you guys lesbans? Did you say I wish?

Yeah. I know, right? It would make everything so easy. Yeah, no, I was... I hooked up with, like, three or four women because I was like, I'm going to figure this out. This is, this has to work. It didn't.

Have you guys tried it? I mean, fucking... Get in there, you know? How old are you guys? How old are you guys? 23. Yeah. Holy shit, you guys are so young.

Just start with a fingering, I don't know. Just explore, like get to know each other. A homeless guy called me a cunt today. And I was like, you're not wrong, but I was like, you just met me, like give me a chance to find out what a gun I can really be, you know? When he called me a cunt, he was saying it to the homeless guy next to him.

they'd asked me for money and I said I didn't have any and then he says to the other guy what a cunt and I was like that is the most offensive thing you can call a woman like it is never okay for a man to call a woman a cut and I said that to myself and then there was that analytical part of my brain that was like never it's never okay like there's got to be an instance where it's okay so I workshoped it I figured it out there is one one and only time a man can call a woman a cunt. You have to be having sex with the woman and while you're inside of her you can just be hammering away doing your thing

and then at that point you can be like oh my god what a cunt this is terrific my god just in there like a pussy sew me leet he's like oh my god what year is this it's so young

the tannins my goodness it's delicious is this a red Is it a period joke? We'll never know. Are you guys a couple? How long have you been together? Seven years. Wow.

How did you guys meet? Which app? P-O-F, what's that? Plenty of fish. You just acronym did it. They do. Oh, that's what they call it? Oh, that's annoying.

They're like, we're just going to rebrand as an acronym. Nobody liked us otherwise. Well, you guys did. I've never met anybody who met anyone on that app. What was like the sales pitch that got you guys to each other? What was it? Smoke weed together. Is that the crux of your relationship?

That's like it. And fucking? Do you guys fuck a lot? How often do you guys? How do you have kids now? That's that slowing it down? Can't you just fuck quietly? or are they just around a lot?

But you guys, you did, you banged a lot, that was your thing? Yeah. It's tight, it's tight, it's tight, tight, tight, tight. What's a lot? What's a lot? How often were you fucking? Every day? Air day, all day?

You lived an hour apart? Just banging. And then, whenever you could, you'd go there and get a little banging. That's cool. I mean, how many kids do you have now? Are you done with the kids? Yeah. Did you get...

Yeah? Did you have the face tattoos when you met her? That's her name? Wow, that is fucking love. Jesus Christ. Holy shit. I know everybody makes the joke where it's like, I can't get a guy to text me back,

but I literally can't right now. But, like, you have a face tattoo of the woman you love. That is a level of commitment. Wow. Well, fuck for me tonight. Will you, please? For the love of God. Like, when you're fawking,

scream my name. Please, Nicole, record it. Send it to me. Like, I'm not kidding. I want you guys fawking it and being like, you're like, Nicole. 310948-4-556.

Thanks. Bye. Nicole, lady. Wow. And I know you guys are going to Fuck tonight. Like this is, you're out here late. The kids are fucking off at home.

You probably got him in a ditch somewhere. You're ready to go. It's your anniversary? Oh, yeah, you're fucking tonight. And you're screaming. Now I say you're trying to get a third in there. We'll see what we can happen. Fuck yeah, guys.

I love this show so much. This show's fucking great. Let's go and bring up her last contestant. Our last contestant recently developed a closer relationship with God. Unfortunately, by doing the show, he has guaranteed himself a spot in hell. Please.

Makes noise for Sean Green. everybody thank you Jay this is fucked up man like yeah I brought him on my comedian Bible studies to talk about his walk with the Lord and he came to rule my fucking life I didn't know what this was fucked up they does he looks like a youth pastor with lip fillers and shit yeah like he prays the Lord with them dick-sucking lips man no he does love God good for him man I'm happy for him I didn't know this show had beef with after midnight because they they beefing and shit like

Like, I'm so in a post they made. I'm scared now, motherfucker. Taylor Thomason follows me on Instagram, bitch. Fuck you. I believe it. No, for real. Look, see, white woman, I'm getting a lot of white cunani from, yeah. Look, see, I'll show you.

I'm gonna fuck her because she clapped her. She's like, yeah, see? You're gonna fuck up my pussy game, man. No, it's funny. Thank y'all. I love Jay. It's worth it. I love y'all, man.

I don't know if this joke, they said to do dirty jokes. You know you overthinking. I don't know if this joke is particularly there. I know it's offensive. I know I can't do it no more, but fucking, I'm gonna do it. All right. So let's see.

All right, so it's Halloween season. My favorite type of scary movies are the zombie movies. They like the zombie movies? I love them, but they're a little prejudice. You know what I mean? They're present. Not against black people. I'm talking about a whole other group of people.

Y'all ever notice there's no midget zombies. You all know what I'm there? It's thousands of zombie extras. And all the zombie movement, not one midget, but I figured out why. You know why there's no midget zombies? Because six feet of dirt, that's too much dirt. But a little midget to push up out of, you know what I'm saying?

When a zombie come out of the ground, it gotta be like this, bah! Midget be down there, yee, yee, what am I saying? You gotta bury midgets in three feet of dirt, so it's fair. Jesus, Jesus, man. What would it be done to me? I've been doing comedy so long that he was okay to say midget when I started comedy.

He was like 05. Then I tried to do it as little people. It don't work. You know, little people. That's not funny. No, man, any Gen Z in here? Gen Z? Is it Gen Z?

Yeah, Clem, Jen Z? Oh, shit, yeah, no one of you. Oh, you're not? Oh, okay. All right, oh. I thought you, you're sure, my, because you're millennial? Oh, shit. Ah, yeah, that's, we're the last good generation.

I see a lot of Gen Z. You look Gen Z, y'all. They warped, you know what I'm saying? You were a little sick, too. But these motherfuckers, well, that's because y'all are freaky and shit, but that's okay. But I'm talking about, like, most of the Gen Z, you just happen to be a millennial that's freaky. All of Gen Z is freaky because they've been watching stepmom porn since they was five years old. You know what I'm saying?

We had to work our way up. We watched Christian porn first, and then you work your way up to stepmom. You know what I'm saying? These kids are sick. They had to know, millennials are the last generation that got to be kids. You know what I mean? A lot of these younger people had to make decisions about. about their sexuality so early, man.

We got sexualized too, but we didn't know. You know what I'm saying? We thought they was wrestling. The motherfuckers was fucking, man. Let's do all this sucking dick. Like, remember Rakishi? That motherfucker make you eat his ass after he beat you up. We thought that was fighting, man.

But look, we didn't know. We got to be innocent. But I guess, I'm gonna tell you what. The boys are the ones that say innocent longer as millennials, because the girls are the ones that sexualize us, right? Because girls mature faster. Every man in here has a story like the one

I'm about to tell, but I'm going to tell the truth because they got P. Diddy, I'm going to tell the truth now. Okay? Because they get, it's the women. The women sexualized us. I remember I was in third grade. It was me, my friend, Zach, and our other friend oldest. We were walking in the hallway, and these two fifth grade girls came up to us. You know, fifth graders are like adults in elementary school. You know what I'm saying?

They got double digits, you know, and they just went through muscle left health class or something like that. And they came up to us, these two girls and they said, hey, show us your dicks. Show us your dicks. And we, We were like, we ain't got no dick because we were only eight years old. We did not know what a dick was, yeah, right? They were like that thing that you used when you go to the bath.

We were like, oh, our pee-pies. So you know, you don't give a damn about your pee-pee. You'll pull your pee-pee out for anybody because your pee-pee is just a piece of skin. So I pulled my pee-pooop. Zach pulled his out. Bloop. This motherfucker-oldest this dude pulled out a grown man penis. He was eight years old.

He said, whop! And the girls said, ah! And they ran down the hallway. We teased this dude from the rest of elementary school. We told everybody. We said, hey, everybody. Older's got a dick, y'all. Older's got a dick.

He was like, shut up, shut up. We called him elephant, man. Look, I don't know what happened to Olas, but whatever he is, he is doing good. You know what I'm saying? I'm still got my pee. Look, thank you guys so much, man. Keep it going for Jay. Life.

Sean Graham. That's swing so much for your other contestants. Amy Shriver, Audrey Stewart, come on down, come on down. Sean, I have an important question. What is Christian porn? They're married.

I think that's... Oh, okay, missionary. All missionary all the time. Oh, my God. I don't think I've watched a single missionary porn in my entire life. Yeah, what? Is that what the missionaries did

to the native population, Jay? Oh boy Tyler give yourself some points for that Tyler gave himself some points By the way Tyler like I said he's our scorekeeper He's keeping track of how funny and how fucked up our comedians to be And they were pretty funny and fucked up during that round They'll give a round of applause How is everybody doing on the score so far

Great great a great stand-up Very close 5-hour points for Audrey 5 hundred points for Sean And for what a cut joke It's Nicole with 600 points Yeah Okay, Nicole. Yay.

Yay. I do love that joke so much, Nicole. That's such a good joke. Thank you so much. All right, let's go ahead. Now that we're here, now that we're live with our comics, we are going to start with our first panel game. This is a new game. We're debuting it here tonight for you guys. It's very exciting.

This is a game called Scrubbed. God, you're really singing that, oddly. I'm an alto. So this is a game. We have found a lot of stuff. Over the course of doing the show, we have dug deep onto all of our contestants. All the things we've ever found on people are crazy. And there's a lot of famous people who have shit out there that should be scrub from the internet.

It should be gone. And for some reason, it is not gone, and it's still out there. And what we've done is we found some of these videos. We found some things. We have some questions. We're going to show some videos. and our comics are going to have to guess what happens in the videos.

Yeah, I know, it's pretty nice. It's pretty solid. How you guys feel like you got a finger on the pulse of what could be cancelable offenses from the past? Yeah, well, at this point, nothing. Let's go ahead and bring up our first scrubbed contender. Everybody knows this guy. This is a gentleman named O.J. Simpson.

We all know O.J. makes a noise for O.J. Let's make a noise for OJ. I don't want him. Rest in peace, King. Rest in peace. A wrong hero. So we have this video that we found of OJ. He had just gotten acquitted.

And he did an interview. He did an exclusive interview on a television show. We have a clip from that interview. We're going to show you guys right now. We won't have to talk about it anymore. Just did you do it? No, I didn't. Nope.

Did not do it. After we finished filming, O.J. said to me that he had a surprise for me, and I genuinely was surprised. I think it was his idea of a joke. So, comics, for your first round of points, what was O.J.'s idea of a joke that he did to this reporter? It's not fair. I've seen this shit. I know what it is. We'll hold off. We'll let Nicole and Audrey guess. Nicole and Audrey. You've seen this, too? I haven't seen it. No.

What do you think happens? I was the one, I'm the oldest person here. I watched the verdict live on TV. What, how did you guys, how do you know this? I mean, I've never seen this video either, Nicole. So this is a big of surprise to me. I don't know, the surprise was a haircut. What an awful haircut.

I don't know, yeah. A haircut for this lady. You guys know what it is. What happens? Oh, he's about to fucking show up at her door with a knife and he's trying to scare it. You just want you to know,

I was going to say he stabbed her and I was like, that just didn't happen. And it like kind of did. Be fair, it was a banana that was he was stabbing with a banana. Let's show the, let's roll it one more time, Tyler. Let's just show that one more time.

Yeah, let's do. the full, I don't think we can do Slambo live on the show game, but that's a banana. I thought it was enough. By the way, I love that he made the psycho, sad to he was like, you guys

remember me from Naked Gun? I'm a really good actor. Let me make some noises with this banana. Do you guys remember the banana joke from Naked Gun when it was the really tall guy who was eating a banana and they're like, you got something in the corner of your mouth and then a full banana falls on your thing.

Anyways. You got the idea. Well, Sean and Audrey get some points for that. Nicole does not get points, but it was a good start. I still have the best joke. Yeah, we like that. We like it. We like when people get points.

Our next contender, do we have any football fans in the room tonight? Any football fans? I had a feeling that was going to be the response. I had a feeling. It feels like a real indoor crowd here. Yeah. This feels like maybe like a rec league dodgeball kind of a crowd.

Like you get winded playing kickball with this kind of crowd. Our next contender is a gentleman. named Chris Collinsworth. Chris Collinsworth is a commentator for the NFL for Sunday night football, NBC Sports, the most popular television program in America for like a decade. Whoa. Yeah. He used to be a football player himself. He did. He was a wide receiver. Yeah. So judgmental. That level of jade is stunning. She's like that little fag. She's like that little fag? He played

Cancel, scrubber. I need the pussy, I can say fag. That's fair. You get the card right after it. I didn't need a pussy, so I couldn't say fag. When I was in there, I was like, I get to say fag. So. Jesus Christ.

We have a video of Chris. Eating a pussy. Live on NBC. No, this is an interview, Chris did at the very beginning of his career. He was playing for the Bengals. He was doing a, you call it a puff piece. Like, they're doing an interview of him, just like a lifestyle piece, talking about him,

about what life is like as a wide receiver on the dating scene. So, Chris, why do you think those girls really like you? I think probably because of the money, you know, and I'm not going to deny it. I walk around with $100 bills hanging out of my pockets usually, and try and give it my best shot, because before I ever made any money, it was pretty much Big Nuffins bill.

So our question is, what do you think is the next thing that Chris has to say about dating as an NFL player? Would he say a little bit before that? He's saying he's got $100 bills hanging out of his pockets. He thinks that women date him for the money. He's got those $100 bills. He said before he had money,

he was all big nothingsville. I mean, whatever he says, we're still not going to be able to understand it. The CTE is just killing this. I can barely get through a sentence. Well, I'll give you guys some options. I'll give you guys some options. You can guess on one of these.

Is he going to say that he likes to hang out at trailer parks because they're poor and have pretty mouths? That's what I was going to say. Fingers crossed. Is he going to say that he likes girls that aren't too bright because you can trick them? It's true. Or is he going to make a joke about the price of lotion and tube socks?

Definitely lotion and tube socks. Locian and tube socks for Audrey? Pretty mouth. Pretty mouth? Sean, what do you think? Yeah, I think the stupid thing. Like, they're going for stupid girls. I like it.

We got a mixed bag up here. I didn't remember me when you said that, too. Sean was like the supergirls. I was like, what the hell? Sean started man spreading even further. I was like, you're like, you're like, he started man spreading and then so did Audrey. Has anyone seen this clip?

Yeah, has anyone ever seen this clip? I doubt it because none of these people even fucking know anything. They don't know what football is as a sport. I mean, this guy barely, the guy on TV barely knows what football. He just knows how to put money in his fucking pocket. He looks like Matthew McConae, though, for real.

He does. Kind of. And I think that's actually very fitting, giving what he's about to say next. Tyler. I like girls that aren't too bright because you can trick them a little bit. The punk rockers all of me. Those are my big girls and high school girls love me. 14 to 18.

I'm a big star with that. By the way, before the record, I was right. No one understood what he said. All I heard was, I love girls that are 14 and 18. That is exactly what he said. He likes high school girls because they're dumb and you can trick them. between 14 and 18. Let's make some noise for Chris Collinsworth

and his real piece of shoes. Give it up for a rapist. You can catch Chris at the laugh factory starting next week. I was going to say it's pretty appropriate at the comedy store. Oh, boy. You're not wrong.

Let's go and bring up our final contender. This is a gentleman named Greg Olson. Greg Olson, another. football analyst. I know. This, yeah. This guy, this guy looks the part

though, right? Did you guys ever see thumb wars with like the thumb? Literally the weird character. Yeah, he looks like a thumb, for sure. So Greg

is a commentator now. He was a football player for a long time. He played in college. He played in college. He played university. What position?

What position? He was a tight end. Why all these tight ends? I don't even know what the fuck that means. Now, one of the notable things, so when he was at the U, when he was at University of Miami, there was a rap that went around. Sean remembers this. From the seventh floor crew, which is what his floor was in his dorm.

We have a portion of that rap ready to show you guys right now. The University of Miami is apologizing for a profane, sexually explicit rap song made by several football players. The seventh floor crew. If you only know that she was getting fucked on the 7th and flow Greg Osset was a part of that clique and he was Greg with his third leg What's your name? Greg, what you do, get head, drop my drawers and let us see my third leg

chilling on the 7th floor, I gotta let these chickens know be Greg is in the house and I'm fin to make these hoes joke on my balls on my dick then I'm bustin up quick on a face on a chest Stiff my dick between the grass. So. That was good. So our question for you guys is where does Greg

talk about putting his dick next? Fucking in the butt. Yeah. Logical progression. Oh, in the butt? I thought it's weird. It's like her ear or something like that. It's something that rhyme, but

it's her ear. I think it's weird like a... It's an ear. I'm gonna go ear. You're gonna go ear. I guess all that's left, because he said, did he say throw? He didn't say throat. He didn't say throat. I mean, he said maker choke dick and balls, but who knows?

She'll choke just looking at him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say, yeah, throat's not done. I'd say deep down in the throat. I don't mean the both, but deep down in the throat. Barry, that's a fucking, that's a bar. Is it G. Is it G.

Reg's bar? Come on fellas, let's get weird. Stick your dick up. Yes! I knew it was crazy. That was an insane thing we used to say. No, I knew it. I had to try very hard to not give it away.

Is his next line? She's a good listener. No, his next line is, I apologize to the Title IX board of the University of Miami. That's scrubbed, everybody. Makes noise for your comics on Scrub. Oh, boy. Let's keep things moving.

next game this is a favorite here wrong this is a game called entweetment yes you guys remember you guys know you like this one this is where we're getting dangerous folks yes this is the one where we've pulled up old social media posts from their past oh it's not fair man I'm the oldest mom because I was on my space and the Facebook so I don't know what the fucking you got shot in the green room is Sean stop taking the title of oldest I'm the oldest we're gonna see now watch this shit I'm about to say he was panicked in the green room he goes gosh, I'm going through a divorce.

I don't know what I did. I've said a lot of shit. I've said a lot of shit recently. How we're going to work this. By the way, I'm going to be really surprised if you found something because I had a lawyer come through my Twitter was. So let's see if he did his job.

Don't you worry. We always find something. We have started off, as always with one of mine. We're going to show off a blanked out tweet with some words. And I don't know what it is. My producers always find something new. you guys are going to get to guess and see what I said. Apparently I said this March 31st, 2015. I hope it's something to do with my wife's birthday.

That's all I can hope for. That's all I can guess. I hope it's something about my wife, my lovely wife, who we had started dating. Okay. Hardcore porn. Yeah, blank hardcore porn. One comment, one like.

With that picture or two and you saying that, that's a lot. 5.13 p.m., March 13. or March 31st fuck I have no idea what this could be something about hardcore porn something about watching it who knows

we're doing it I'd love to see you do hardcore porn I don't mean that in a creepy way you can't say that when you already talked about how we look like brother and sister oh Nicole you got stuck under the table let me help you out I love rape porn

I mean stock porn I act in hardcore porn. That's what Jeanette thinks it is. I think it's, I'm about to watch hardcore porn and watch. And then go to an open mic. It's five o'clock. It was 2015. We were open micing.

Jay and I were about to add to an open mic. This is right before I hit rock paper, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Let's see some options. Option one. I'm giving up my addiction to hardcore porn and replacing it with compilation videos of sassy Professor Snape's hardcore scorn

I mean I love Snape He was the best I hope this isn't me This is I'd be so much a fucking dork if this is me I hope that's what is You don't know what scorn means Oh my god

What? Sean asked me to say that a lot She was one of 15 kids guys. That's hard to get an education. My stepmom hated me. Did she hate it? Could you tell? Because she had a scorn on her face? Okay, I used the word. That's good. You used it a sentence.

Okay. Option two. Let's see option two. I never want to meet the degenerates who masturbate to both hardcore porn and hardcore pawn. That's not it. That's terrible. It only had one mic. I don't even know. I don't even know that. Everyone is, but I am nervous that I'm not better than this.

I actually do think it might be this. If that's you, Jay, quit everything. Quit it all. Let's see option three. I've always wanted to reenact my favorite hardcore porn, but I think my wrists are too fragile to be tied up. I mean, you are a weak bone, baby. I am, yeah.

Let me see your wrists. Hit them. Oh, yeah, it's that one. Yeah. These things are popping right now. Okay. think it's this one? I'm going to go with the first one.

Nicole's going on the first one. Sean, what do you think? I think it's this one? I hate to say, I actually never figure this out, but I am 100% certain at this hardcore pawn. Oh, yeah. All right, that's all right. You got so much better.

Everybody boo me for that. That's poohable. That's fair. Progress. Fair. Progress. This show is about showing progress, not perfection. That's what I try and do on this show.

Well, let's go ahead and bring up your next contestant. Audrey Stewart, let's get you over in the hot chair. Get discomfort, Audrey Stewart. Okay, perfect. We'll trade you. Okay, okay. All right. Audrey Stewart, everybody.

Makes a noise for Audrey. Yeah. All right, Audrey. Now, we have a tweet here from, I think, when you were in college. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Could you even read? She's a communications major.

Of course not. Absolutely. Those you can't. This is from December 16th, 2012. Everyone getting good back there? We'll be fine. We'll figure it out. December 16th, 2012, 6.55 p.m.

If you think you know the real answer, don't say it because Nicole and Sean will get a chance to guess first. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Let's rock and roll. Oh, my God. Blank. Hashtag blank.

Hashtag, I can watch that movie over and over again. Oh, my God. No This got one Yeah, what do you think? What do you think? Oh, 2012. Oh my god 2012 Ooh I was inspired. It must have been a Christmas movie because it was around that time

We got one retweet. We got six likes which by in tweet numbers is fucking viral. That is incredible By the way, Audrey was gay at this point. No, Audrey was very straight. No, I was just the girl. Yeah, I was just the girl. Yeah, I'm just face yeah in your picture oh shit I didn't even notice that oh I think that was when my ex-girlfriend broke up with me and I was like oh show her okay I hate house talent it was the let's go in show a notebook it's the notebook but this is my recent prolet's the notebook that's a recent okay we think it might be the no let's uh let's see some options option option one you is kind you is smart and you is important hashtag the help Audrey you got to sit down and shut the fuck up for just a second

it's just it's just fun it's just fun to watch Audrey as a racist that is just not how it happened and by the way I thought it was so beautiful I cried I just repainted accordingly. He said not to give it away. We're not done yet. I'm her black friends. Shut up, y'all.

We're going to still, listen. It might not be this. It might be this next one. Bull queers take by force. It's all they want or understand. If I were you, I grow eyes in the back of my head. Hashtag the Shawshank Redemption. Hashtag I can watch that movie over and over again.

There's just too many words there. It might be this one. Who'd thought we'd have a black son before we knew a Democrat? Hashtag the Blind Side. I'm going with the first one based on Audrey's. Based on Audrey's visceral reaction. It was a beautiful movie. Let's show it.

Yeah. Move. It's a good movie. It's a good movie. Great quote. I'll be deleting that. You're good. Don't worry a lot of all of me.

Just so you know, I think I had a tweet about that movie, too. Yeah. Because I was dating a black guy at the time, and I watched that movie with him. And I was like, that is a horrible movie to watch with your black boyfriend. Because then you're just like, I'm just going to have to suck your dick all night for reparations. Amen. I tweeted something like that. It for sure got deleted when I hired that lawyer.

Makes noise for Audrey Stewart, everybody. Yeah. This is the worst night of my life. Mimi Shriver, let's get Nicole over the high seat. Makes an noise for Nicole. Oh, shit. Yeah, Nicole. All right, get that off the screen.

Jesus. Let's see what you found. Let's see what you found. You're not going to find anything. This is on from December 26, 2011. She hired a lawyer, Jay? She hired a lawyer. I went through your whole tweets.

Yeah, all my tweets. And took all the bad ones out. All the bad ones out. Cool. All right. Let's see. I'm not even slowly. word.

Blank, more like prison rape. Okay. No likes, no retweets. One comment. It's probably from the lawyer being like, we got to take this one down later. We got to flag this. I wish I could see what the comment was.

Can you guys figure out the comment? No, we never figured out the comment. Fuck. Do you remember what you're doing it this time in your life? Fucking a black dude. I mean, I think I was dating Bill then. Was 2011? Yeah, I've stating Bill then.

All right. Well, see, if you think you know what the real option is whenever we say it, don't say it, because Audrey and Sean will get a chance. Don't fall over and crawl on the floor. If you think you know what the real answer is. I still love that. I can act, so you won't know.

Option one. My pussy says white-collar crime, but my asshole says, more like prison rape. Option two. Me. Do my farts smell like roses? Him. No. More like prison. Definitely that one. Or option three.

Shows are so boring. I wish they were more like prison rates. Well, it's the middle of the day. Just picturing you writing these out on your life. It's just fucking weird. All of these options are just awful. Like, I'm just embarrassed that they could be anything. You wrote one of them. Yeah. One of these is you. And you had one comment.

Yeah. Oh, right after this, Kwanza. She was celebrating Kwanza with her black boyfriend and stopped to tweet this. Sean, Audrey, which one do you think? Farts. I think it's the Farts one, too.

I really, that seems like... On brand from me. Yeah, it does seem on brand. Nicole? Fartz, I guess. Yeah, I mean, Audrey pretty much nailed that. Yeah. Let's see the real tweet. It's Farts!

Some noise for Farts! Yeah, I nailed that first. By the way, and now that Now that I was definitely with Bill at the time, and this math, maths, for him to say that to me. And Sean, let's get you over here. Sean Grant coming on in. So, Sean, we had some issues because you have like four different Twitter accounts. For real?

Yeah. Sean, that's weird. Yeah. That's weird. You've had like three or four different Twitter handles. We couldn't find... I'm old, man. It's a lot of stuff going on.

You used to go by a different name, a different stage name. That was a whole different thing. Y'all motherfuckers do research. Yeah. Sean G. This might not be meaning. I don't know.

This one's you. This one's you. Because we went to your Facebook. God damn. Because we are Facebook friends and we found this one. Oh, I can't. From January 26, 2010.

I fucking spell like a slay. I couldn't I couldn't have been a slave So it says Yeah blank I couldn't have been a slave Blank No reactions except for one comment 2010

Yeah Oh my god What was going on What was going on Sean In 2010 Yeah I don't know Something I couldn't have been a slave I must have been

What was the movie? Was it, 12 years of slave? Something came out. Maybe it was about a movie. Obama was president. Yeah. It has something to do with Obama? I feel like whatever it's going to be,

it's going to be something about how you're like mouthy, so you couldn't have been a slave. Like you have too much attitude. That could be, yeah. Let's see these options. Yeah, let's see some options. Wait, whisper it in her ear. Tell her what it is, just so we can see if you're right.

Yeah. Come on. Oh, she's excited. Whisper what you think it is in her ear, and we'll see if it's right. She knows? No. You're going to tell her, and if Jeanette gets her,

if Sean and Jeanette get her right, this is going to be crazy. Okay, all right, lock it away. Don't, and Jeanette, now you've got to act too, all right? You got to see. Yeah, you have to act, too. Stone-faced. Stone-faced.

All right. Option one. My back is killing me. I couldn't have been a slave. I would have been retired at 23 or in the house, snitching on everybody. By the way, I love that if this wasn't it, you guys just took the creative liberties to spell poorly as well.

I would have been a better to do it. All right, next. Option two. I'm too sexy. I couldn't have been a slave. I would be married to the pretty white daughter after impregnanting her. Impregnancing.

Maybe that is it. And option three. I'm scared of the dark. I couldn't have been a slave. Harriet would have taken me to the underground railroad and I'd be all bitch, nah-uh. By the way, I love that you wrote. I thought it had something to do with me being...

I thought it was because I was light-skinned and I needed like some sunscreen or something like that. I thought it had something to do with being light-skinned. I was wrong. Nicole, Audrey, which one do you think is a real tweet? I just think bitch, n-uh-uh is fun. What was the second one again? The second one was impregnanting.

I feel like it was that one. Sean? I have no idea now. I really thought it was because I was light-spin. Maybe it was a snitching. Maybe it was a snitching. Yeah, I think the first one is actually. Yeah, I actually, can I take my answer to the first one?

You guys have changed? Yeah. Okay. First one. It was a snitching. Let's see the real answer. It's snitching. Oh, okay.

Damn, my back was killing me back then? I was only 20-some. I know what the comment is. Do you want to read it? Oh, yeah. Why you know my comment, motherfucker? What the hell? Oh, you're talking about Audrey's comment?

What? The person, like, comment. Oh, my God, it's my mom. It's gonna be his mom being, like, from lugging that fat ass around me. This is from Claudia Fine Wine Sang. Ooh. The comment says, you're not black,

so they would have keep you in the house, L.L. Pound about you being like skin. Make some noise for Sean Grant. Grant everybody. Jesus. I really didn't think this game show was this. That's a fun time, right?

After midnight, ain't going to steeble that shit for us. Let's go and move on. Tyler, how's everybody doing on the scores before we get to our final round? It's been a great game. I will say, in third place, Audrey, with 1,200 points. All right.

That's fair. And second place was Sean with 1,300 points. And first place, Nicole, with 1,500 points. Yeah. All right, y'all. We are at our final round, our final chance for comedians to get points with one of our favorite games. This is a game called I Can Save Her or Straight to Jam. Yes.

You are just singing along to all the songs we have, Audrey? I love this. Very sorority girl of you. There's a website out there called Mug Shotties. Mug Shotties is a website where we have a bunch of pictures of hot people's mugshots. And what we have found is some of these hot people's mugshots that we are going to see if our comics are going to save them or send them to jail.

Once we show what their crime is, they're going to treat you all like the jury and either prosecute or to offend their client. Then you're going to vote and see who gets to go to jail or who gets saved. Let's rock and roll. We still have a bunch of prizes to give away. This is a great time to give out some prizes. It's a good time to get a prize.

A good time to get a prize. Let's go ahead and start off our first mugshotty. this lady she was definitely my sorority this lady looks like Blake lively if it didn't end with us she

looks like the chick from what's that show the prison orange is new black yeah oh wait the one who the lesbian one who they're all lesbans they're all lesbans yeah yeah

all right did this lady do it you sending her or you save her she's the chicken Russian dog yeah she did it Sean saying she did it She did it Audrey Nicole You save her We don't know what the crime is right? No we don't

She looks kind of yeah I think she did She did it Yeah she did it Everybody's saying she did it She's not sorry Fine I'll say she didn't do it I like that Just we can have another side just we can have another side I like that

Let's go and show off that crime Disorderly intoxication Not offering a bribe to a public servant she told a police officer she would have intercourse with him to get her jewel back after being caught urinating in public. That's fair. All right, we're going to start off with the defense. Nicole, defend this woman.

Why she didn't do it? Why she didn't do it to your jury. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my name's Nicole. I'll be defending this gorgeous white woman. I think we can all agree that With a Cupid's bow like that, I mean, there's absolutely no option. This woman smokes a jewel.

There are no creases on her lip line. She's not a smoker at all. Look at her eyes. They're beautiful bedroom eyes. There's no red in her eyes. This is a person who does not smoke substances. I rest my case. There's no physical evidence of a woman who indulges in jewels here.

Okay. All right. Sean Audrey, send this bitch to jail. Yeah. Okay, all right. This is a classic. This is a hot woman. She thinks she can get away with anything.

Look those lips. Those are plush. I don't have, yeah, I don't have any lips. I have literally a line. You see this? She got those J. Light lips.

She's got those J. Light lips. She can get away with anything. See this, this look? She's ready to fuck the guy that took the picture of her mug shock. She's like, I'm going to get out of this

by sucking him off. She's gotten her whole life. Just sexy, just being hot. Getting away. I would, I would be gay again for her. Yeah. Yeah.

Besides the point, but I will say that she, I think she definitely did it because. Yeah. And the bitch can't spell, that's not how you spell jewel. Yeah. Is it? Yes, that is how you spell. I don't know. Fuck.

I still felt like a slave. Look at this. Look at lust. I don't know what that is then. Is that meth? What is that? It's a vape. It's a vape.

It's what the kids are doing with the jewel. I don't do drugs. I'm, I'm, Jesus. I don't know this. Sean's the oldest one on the show, you know. She's literally looking at. This picture, she's like being lustful. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's always trying to fuck on. Like who's turned on just by looking at that phone up? Come on, yeah. Okay, Miranda. It's just Miranda. It's not a good barometer. We have a hand raise in the middle.

There you go. Come on now. Yeah. Come on now. All right. I think our case is ready to rest. Did the defense win that jury? Did the defense win?

Did the prosecution win? We are sending her to jail. You guys are. Wait, well. Lock her up. Lock her up. Lock her up. She gets off, you guys. She doesn't fucking lawyer.

She's fine. Let's go and move on to our next gal. Wait, we don't find out. Did she do it? Yes, she did it. Oh, they all did. They all did it. They all did it.

No, they did it. They all did it. But we're going to find out. We're pretending. We pretend. She looks so sad. She could be like 40. two or 16. We don't know.

We don't know. What are we thinking? Are we sending her to jail or are we saving her? You just said everybody did it. Yeah, I can't. I thought you said you could act. So you're saying, if we say she shouldn't go to jail that we're saying she's hot, because she looks like a child.

I can't say that I'm saying that. Where did we get that out of these extrapolation? You think she's hot, motherfucker that's why you picked her? No. You picked because you're attracted to her. That's a girl. I put this one on Tyler. Well, the website

is a great. That girl is young looking, right? Everybody booed Tyler for his attraction to young women. Boo. I'll save her and I'll take her to a convent so she can grow up a good Christian mum. Oh my God.

Freak. What is this website called the end? Mug Shotties. Shotties are hot bitches. There's not going to be any ugly girls on here. So. Miranda's so horny. She's not ugly.

She's just a baby. She is a baby. Are we saving this baby? Are we saving the baby? Are we saving the baby? No, go to jail because... Her parents could have been divorced. We don't know.

Yeah, she got to go to jail because I don't want to make it sound like I'm saying she's a hot bitch. Okay, so stop protecting yourself. It's shady. I have to. I've already talked about slavery. Nicole?

Whatever they said, I'm the opposite. They said the opposite things of each other. Go on Sean's side. You're going to be on Sean side. All right. Sean is sending her to jail. So is Nicole. This crime. Aggravated domestic battery, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, false imprisonment. She threatened her partner with a knife over cleaning the cat's litter box.

That is absolutely reasonable behavior. Yeah. She did it. Nicole? She did it? She did it. They think she did it, but Audrey, you're the defense. You have to defend her first.

Defend her to the jury. Okay, can I defend... What's her age? Can I know her age? Because they'll help me in my defense. Make it up. Make it up. People of the jury.

It's ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Okay? Let's say this young woman is what? 15 years of age. Okay? We don't know. All right?

She actually grew up in a really bad household. Okay? She had 15 brothers and sisters, okay? Nobody, paid attention to her. Are you telling your biography right now? And then one day, a cat comes and gives her the most attention she's ever gotten in her entire life. Okay? Yeah. So then, so then, she loves this cat because she feels cared about this cat. Her partner starts neglecting her like her family and she's sick of it, right? And she becomes a comedian. And she wants to clean

She wants to clean the cat's litter to take care of this cat And he goes, no babe, you're gonna suck my dick instead And she goes, I will not have that I love these cats You never love me like these cats Thank you, I rest my case All right

Sean and Nicole Send this woman to jail Yeah, tell them I'm gonna flavor flabe this shit You go ahead Ladies and gentlemen of the jury Look at her eyes Do you see your eyes watering? Come on now.

That's a woman who's allergic to cats. That is a woman who's allergic to cats. Yeah. And she was pretty fucking pissed because her boyfriend wasn't cleaning the litter box. And that is the part of the cat she's most allergic to is cat feces.

And that is that's why she stabbed the guy. Oh, I'm sorry, that's why she threatened him. False imprisonment. She probably locked him in the bathroom where the kitty litter was. and she was like, I want you to stay in there. Think about what you did.

But she did it. But she deserved that shit, because that's some stanking shit. Like people who have cats, you're nasty motherfuckers, man. That's shit. Make some noise if you have a cat. Not in an apartment. You live in an apartment with that shit? Y'all got a house?

Okay, good. That makes sense. That means you can put it downstairs. But if you got a fucking one bedroom apartment, you're a nasty motherfucker, man. Everybody can smell that shit. Yeah. So I get it, but she did it.

What Sean said. Right. Right. That's the end of our chase. Jury did the defense win that case. Makes some of those. Did the prosecution win that case? Just that guy's shirt.

That is the defense. That makes noise for the defense. Yes. Yeah. We got one more hot criminal. This is one for the ladies. This gentleman right here. Oh.

Okay. By the way, I'm not gay and I think he's fucking gay. Apparently. Is this for the lady? ladies because I think it's for the men. This is what we in the industry call a stock line. Pretty pretty gay.

Are we saving him or sending him straight to jail? Straight to jail. Straight to jail. I'll save him. I'll save him. Sean is going to save this guy. Saving him. I love it. This gentleman

also known as Maga Derek Zoolander he stormed the capital. Good luck, Sean. He's in jail for Storm of the Capitol. Sean, defense your client.

First of all, he has headshot. Okay, that's, you see how his head is tilted forward? That's a good headshot picture, man. The brothers lean forward, right? And he's got the Superboy haircut. And that means, look, man, look,

why y'all tripping on Trump? Look, let me. Clipped that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That needs to go online. All I'm saying is 24 years of a long goddamn time. Yeah, don't... I had to pick the other side, motherfuckers.

Look, I didn't know he was racist. He didn't seem racist. I thought he was Nicaraguan when I picked him. He seemed Nicaraguan. Got a beauty mark right there, man. If you were an actual lawyer, I do love that that would be your defense of a client. I thought it was a totally different race when I picked the guy. I thought it was Honduran.

What a... man yeah come on man leave him come on leave him be that's a good case Audrey Nicole sentence man in jail I mean ladies gentlemen the jury look at his face

please please look at his face for more than five seconds I dare you yeah she can't exactly his eyebrows look like McDonald's arches

I honestly storming the Capitol that's just enough and did he have one of those mask on, do we know? He didn't need it. He didn't need it. He didn't need it.

I mean, it's so crazy. I feel like one of his hair lines is receding more than the other. Oh, damn. Not the Widows Peak, but like one side, it goes farther back. It goes a little further back. It's obtuse.

It's obtuse. Look at that. He knows big words. Audrey, can you spell obtuse? Yeah, actually, I can spell it. Okay. No problem. Go.

O. B. T U S E It's pretty good. Did the defense win this? No, the prosecution won it! And I think we should give for defending this man in court with her American flag and Bald Eagle shirt. Let's give this gal prize right here.

Let's make some noise for our audience members getting the prize. U.S.A. U.S.A. Eater smoke weed. You smoke weed. There you go. Oh. All right.

All right, folks. That was I can save her straight to jail. All right. That was great. Thank you guys. You guys have been a great out. You guys have stuck around. Makes a noise more time for yourselves. You guys been here. Makes some noise for me. I've stuck around.

Nicole has stuck around. This is going later than we thought. We were almost done. We got our scoreboard. Tyler is going to tally up the final points. While he does that, our comedians are going to get us out of here on our nice note because we've done a lot of fucked up things tonight. We've covered a lot of stuff.

We've talked about your sex life. We've talked about dead stuff. We know your stalker knows your ad. now that's horrifying we talked a lot about pussy tonight we talked about my lips I I feel like I should quit comedy after that hardcore porn joke too close together yeah but you know what is we want to make sure you guys get out here on a nice note we're gonna cleanse your pallets with a nice clean joke from all of our comedians and the palette cleanse around yes everybody's gonna tell one clean

wholesome joke to get you out here on a nice note we're gonna start off with Audrey Stewart makes some nice for Audrey Stewart sitting here with them? Stand up, stand up. Yeah. What's up you guys? How are we? Are we all feeling good still?

Okay, that was a fucked up. I still love that movie, but how fucked up, huh? They're digging into our past. Okay, you guys. A clean joke. I'll tell you my favorite clean joke, okay? It's very cutesy. It's very fun.

I used to be a babysitter. Do we have any babysitters in the crowd? Okay, hell yeah. Are you still actively babysitting? I am. Okay, what's your favorite part about babysitting? When the baby falls asleep. Okay, hire her.

Hell yeah. When the baby falls asleep. It makes some noise if you used to babysit. Let's hear it. Okay, and now we have 401Ks. Okay, she's like, yeah, bitch. I'm like, you're like, spell it. I'm like, 4-0-1-K.

Okay, so. And I loved babysitting, right? Especially as a comedian, because kids will laugh at everything, right? Okay, because there'd be a knock at the door. And I'd be like, what if that was a caterpillar with an eye patch and a cowboy hat? They'd be like, you're crushing it. And then I'd add a fall, and they'd be like, yeah. And then I got a little corporate gig after, right?

And there was a knock on the door during the meeting, and I was like, what if that was a caterpillar with an eye patch and a cowboy hat? And they're like, call HR, Audrey's on acid. And then I slipped like, she's all so drunk. Okay. And also one of my other favorite parts about babysitting was the food, okay? I loved the food. I'm from Indiana originally, as we heard, right?

The snacks were on point, okay? L.A. bullshit, okay? Because there'd be a weak woman at her house and she'd be like, I get a house to anything in the house. And then she would open the cabinet and it'd be one almond that has no salt on it. And you're like, what the fuck was that, Deborah?

And the last family I babysat for had like strawberry yogurt ball cereal from Tray or Joe's. You know what I'm talking about? You guys know what I'm talking about? You guys know what I'm talking about. Okay, literally. So I was like, I'm like, yawtsy. And I grabbed the weird meal. and the weird container from the fridge

and I make myself a fat fucking bowl and the mom comes home later and she goes, me, I'm so tired, but I still have to pump. Oh my God. I thought this joke was supposed to be clean. I thought it was supposed to be clean.

We all have had... The milk in the fridge was her titty milk. That's clean. We all had that to survive. Does anybody, has anybody ever had to? titty milk and remembered it. Has anybody ever had titty milk?

Wait, what the fuck? She's like, I ordered up the black carton. She drank your own tits. You just had a baby, and then you were like, you were like, move over. Now, he drank it and then shotguned it and around. I know what these two fucks are up to. Yeah, holy, yeah.

You had a pump, and you tried it. It's good, right? What's it tastes like? It's fucking sweet. I love it. I fucking love it. I crave it. I crave it all the time.

My sister had a bachelorette party and one of her friends literally just had a baby. This is a lot. Okay, all right. Tell us. I was over. I said one, a wholesome joke.

Okay, okay. That was it. You've been on stage for longer than you were. You're basically defending a dissertation at this point. Nicole killed harder and faster during your five minute

clean joke. Makes noise for Audrey Stewart, everybody. She tried. I'll never do that clean joke. As soon as she, as soon as, get up there. As soon, don't start off with crowdwork like Audrey did both times. I've got a three second joke. Okay, what's the difference between virgin olive oil and extra virgin olive oil?

What? Extra virgin olive oil has two hymins. Thank you. Nicole Amy Schreiber, everybody. Okay, I guess that was short. That was yours. Sean Grant. First of all, Audrey, you is kind, you is important.

Fuck with these people talking about. In my defense, it said five minutes, I thought. No crowd work, no setup. Get to the joke. Well, I'm a Prius driver's at. Let me hear you say, meep, meep. Fuck it, all right. Man, I love my Prius.

I drive my priest like a gangster. You understand? I got my arm out the window. Got the music all the way up. It's 60. That's how as it goes. 60, I blast my shit. People think that when you drive a little car

that you soft. They think you can't fight, right? One of these L.A. gangsters trying to punk me the other day. pulls up next to me in a Mustang, right? Loud-ass car. He pulls up. He's like, what's up, putto?

You want to... Oh, I can't say putto. I didn't know this. It wasn't clean, damn. What's up, putto? You want to race, pooh? How do you want to race? He thought I was scared.

I said, what? I said, I love it. He said, you want to go through the next light or what? I said, hell no. We're going to turn. He ran out of gas. I put that thing in eco mode. I said, I got a quarter tank.

I'll see you in Texas. That's a joke. Sean Grant, everybody. I didn't know, is it dirty? Could I do that on Late Night? No, wait, does anyone here? You can say Puto. On, like that's not an English curse word.

Who cares? I can actually get on the show, motherfucker, because Taylor Thomason follows me, bitch. She don't know you. That's true. Don't let Taylor see this. I love you, Taylor. Let's get her on the show.

Tell her to fucking do the show. Yeah, let's call her up right now. I'm very excited. You guys have been a great audience. You guys have been a great panel. Tyler is going to give out some prizes. Tyler, tell everybody who won.

All right, Jay, it's been quite a game in third place. You know who he is in third place. It's Sean Grant, everybody. Oh, I'm shocked by that. What can I do? What can I do? I thought I was definitely a person. It's true.

I'm a despair to action. Wow. In second place. It's very close. Very close. Came down right to the end. It's Audrey Stewart. Second place.

Yes, Christian Comics from 2005. All right. You would actually love that because you love God. You literally love God. It's all right. All right. Thank you. And our grand prize, it's a stupid white man by Michael Moore.

That's for you, Nicole. Yeah. All right. I really like my prize. This is good. Oh, my God. I love Sticker Doodle. Is there weed in here?

There is me? All right. I can't. I can't. Guys, that is our show. That is wrong. A fucked up game show. Makes noise.

The Polymese driver, Sean Grant, Audrey Stewart. All of our contestants for playing tonight also do get, where the fuck did it go? Thank you. You guys got to get out

a cancellation free card. Next time you have a meeting with somebody. If they try and tell you you can't do after midnight, just show them that. They're going to let you off Scott free. Makes noise for all our comics, everybody.

That is it. I'm in Jay Light. You guys have been a great crowd. Thanks for sticking around. Thanks for taking late. Makes a noise. We got Lenny. We got Torio. We got Stephen in the back. What a wonderful crew here at the comedy start. And follow Maxwell Farms on Instagram.

They give more stuff away. Yes, they do. Follow Maxwell Farms. Our wonderful sponsor. You guys have been a great crowd. We'll see you next time. Here at Wrong, a fuck-up game show. Have a great night.