WRONG! A Fucked Up Game Show - #6 – YOU FOUND MY N-WORD TWEET? (ft. Akeem Woods, Maddy Smith, Zahid Dewji)

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Recorded live at Caveat in New York City, 9/19/2023.OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS: Zahid Dewji, Maddy Smith, Akeem WoodsSUPPORT THE SHOW ON PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/wronggameshow⁠⁠⁠COME SEE US LIVE: Los Angeles: 10/27 @ Alamo Drafthouse, 8 PM San Diego: 11/11 @ Mic Drop Comedy Club, 10 PM This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wronggameshow.substack.com Get full access to Captain's Log at jaylight.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wronggameshow.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello folks, welcome to another podcast edition of Wrong, a fucked up game show. I'm your host, Jay Light. And in this episode, we make our East Coast debut with this kick-ass show in New York City and give a shot at redemption to a previous losing contestant. Recorded live at Caviot on September 19, 2023, this show's contestants were Zahid Debgy, Maddie Smith, and Akeem Woods. Before we get into it, thank you to the other members of the wrong team. Tyler Meznorich, Yorgo Architas, Melanie Meisner,

and Daisy Green Stenhouse. Thank you to our Patreon subscribers, Lauren Picole, Don Fardo, Joe Ammer, Richard, Abigail Shane, Hunter Patterson, Marcelina, and Molly Green.

If you'd like to get full access to the video episodes and get a shout out here, you can subscribe on Patreon for as little as a dollar a month at patreon.com slash wrong game show. Please follow us on all the socials

at wrong game show and, of course, best way to experience the show is live. Our next shows are in Los Angeles at the Alamo Draft House, 8 p.m. on October 27th, and in San Diego, at Mike Drop Comedy Club, 10 p.m. on November 11th. Get tickets at beacons.a.I. slash wrong game show. Without further ado, let's get wrong. The first committee you may know it as a token white girl on MTV's wild mouth, but our host

knows her as the girl who beat his ass and roast battle. It's Maddie Smith, everybody. Maddie. Our next comedian is a strange. out of Houston, Texas. He's a writer and bottle service boy. Thank you. For Jimmy Fallon, who was looking for his Defshed for bombing on the show the first time, it's Zaheed Demjee, everybody. Zahe Demchee! Our last comics

has been on the late, late show. He's gay. He's from Florida. Give it up for Rhonda Samson's Wet Dream Slash-Hawrny Nightmare. It's a key one. Why did y'all mention I was gay? That's wild. My bad. My bad. He didn't have to say it. All right. One more time for the host of this whole shinnig.

It's Jay. on the corner Tyler Meznerich. Oh, what a wonderful crowd. You gotta hit Tyler, you gotta hit the space bar. We're missing the logo of the show, everybody's at. It's wrong, a fucked up game show. Very exciting. Thank you. We got this tie at the Salvation Army on 20th.

Great Salvation Army. This might be the worst tie I've ever seen in person. I thought you said South Asian Army. I got this tie from the Vietnamese. It's a bad tie. It is such a bad tie. We found other worst ties. We were like, this is as wide, and somebody described it as a shit stain earlier. What a time.

It just looks like part of a Georgia O'Keefe painting. Just one pill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you. Look at this bitch. You look like it wearing a sconce. A sconce? Pretty sick joke. Yeah, murdering.

Zod is bombing again right out the gate. I'm very excited. Let's make some noise for your comics. We have Mandy Smith. We have we're going to put all these people through a gauntlet tonight because here's how this show works, everybody.

You guys are all here. You like game shows, I'm sure, right? Most people, when you'll watch a game show you like to see people do things right. Not here. We like it when people do things wrong. So we are going to have a little bit of wrong

tonight. We're going to have them say some fucked up things. We're going to find out some fucked up things about them. It's all going to be a good fun. You guys are ready for it, right? You guys ready to get a little fucked up. Ready to get a little fuck up. Yes, we like that, but that's a good, you know, that's a good sign. What's your name? Put nothing down. Nothing's going to go and get a couple audience points right out of the gate.

That's the energy we like to hear. Jesus Christ, bitch, the whole name. Oh yeah, we went from nothing to the entirety of her name. We are very excited. This way the show works is we have some stuff that we've dug up about these comedians over the course of their existence. We found some things.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, we got good researchers on this show. We got a good time. But we're very excited because before we find out what we think is fucked up about them, we've asked them to tell us what they think is fucked up about them, I guess? I don't know if that's going to work.

But let's go ahead and show up with our first round. Let's get fucked up. Yes. Clap it. We have asked each of these comedians to tell us what they think is fucked up five minutes of their most fucked up jokes. That could be dark, it could be dirty,

but it will certainly be wrong. And we are going to find out what all of them think are fucked up starting with. Make it loud for. Maddie Smith, everybody. You guys ready to hear some fucked up stuff? Yeah, if you don't laugh,

I'm gonna kill myself. Shut up, bitch. All right. What's going to? Where should I start? My mom is getting married this week. Yeah, thank you. Thanks.

Yeah, she's a whore. She's a whore. She's marrying a rich guy, so things are looking up for me. So excited. She's marrying a guy named Skip. First of all, I'm not calling a grown man Skip. He's rich. I'm going to call him Daddy.

And Skip made a big mistake. He put me in his will, and he told me about it. And that's not something you should do, because I'm a good. greedy bitch and now I'm really excited for skipping my mom to die. Okay? I think about it every day. Every time I see my mom and her wrinkles are deeper, I'm like, yes,

the plan is working. I'm trying to speed it up. I called her. I got her back into smoking cigarettes. I was like, have you tried Spirit Airlines? I'm just excited for her call that's like, it's cancer. I'm like, pancreatic? La-la-la-la-la. Told me to be wrong, bitch.

It's crazy. My mom is Oh, I found her dildo in high school. It was huge. I could barely fit. So, what else is going on? I'm a blackout drunk. Yep, when I drink, I disappear. I can't start when I stop.

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm just super fun. And it happens all the time. I remember the first time I ever drank, I took one sip, and I was like, let's fucking go. And the priest was like, please step aside.

First communion, best day of my life. I got back to the pew. I was like, Mom, I fucking love you. I was playing slap the bag with the blood of Christ. See what I mean? Father Tom, get your dick over here.

I'm a chick. I won't tell. But you know what sucks? I'm really good at blacking out. This is probably my darkest joke. I'm really good at blacking out. I'm so good that people can't tell when I'm blackout. I just get really chatty.

I get really flirty. I'm with a guy. I'm like, I hate when pizza burns the roof of my mouth. And he's like, she's so into me. Fucking apes. Anyway, so what I'm trying to say is that because people can't tell, inevitably men have had sex with me when I'm in a blackout. And listen, I don't report it because I'm a lady.

But I do get mad if the guy is ugly. And that's when it's sexual assault, okay? Thank you, word. All right. It's really uncomfortable. What do we sign up for? To an ugly dude, you're like, Brian, this body. You're next to a hot dude, though, that'll help your self-esteem.

You're like, eh, I still got it. Yeah. Walking with a pep in your step on the way to plan parenthood. You're like, he's hot, so if we need to keep it, it's okay. Throw my tongue out just because there's like old people in the front, and this guy is looking at me like I'm his daughter, and I am not. I am not. I'm not. I'm not. My dad and I do not speak. So, no, I'm kidding. I actually. No, I'm on a TV show called Wild and Out. I don't know if you guys know that show.

It's a very white crowd tonight, so I will let you know that it is a black show. or as my mom says, black. And it's a show and it's hosted by Nick Cannon. I've been on for like seven seasons. I'm racking them up like they're his kids. And I've been on the show for so long that everyone's like, did you fuck Nick Cannon? I'm like, no, he refuses.

Because I'm on birth control. So I'm not his type. I'm strapped up with that IUD. It's sitting in there. And I don't know if you, yeah, you got one too? Yeah, we're synced up. We're on the Wi-Fi. Let's go.

I love my IUD. It's so cool. I don't know if you guys know how the IUD works. It sits in there when the guy comes in you. The IUD suffocates the sperm. Isn't that so cool? Well, it changes everywhere. Like in Texas, it shoots them, you know?

Just because I was really sick of getting abortions. And, yeah, it takes forever. I don't have time for that. All right? I got a small business. Actually, it's really cool. I live in New York City. I can get an abortion at a bodega.

But I'm going to say one thing about abortion. I'm just going to say this When someone forced you to do something You do it badly, right? You guys don't think you You ever think about what you do If someone forced you to keep a baby? I do

I would raise a shitty kid All right Yeah, despite the fucking government You know? The kind of kid who's torturing animals When he's seven Because I tell him to You know what I mean?

Yeah, he's gonna be a school shooter He won't get the job done though Like I'll call when he's on his way I'm like, get him! The cops are there You made me keep him And then they'll find his manifesto online that I wrote. Yeah.

And that's how you turn a policy around. All right. Well, that was a big closer. And you guys told me to do dark. And now everyone's looking at me like, I'm a murder. I'm Maddie Smith. We told you it was going to be dark, everybody. It's good.

We signed up for this. You signed up for this. And that was admirable. That this was this kind of show until like an hour ago. And first, sure, I thought it was like paid and stuff. It's paid. Oh, it's paid? Okay, cool, probably not enough.

But I'm really happy to be, I'm kidding, I'm joking. I'm on Lexa Pro, I'm numb. Yeah. We fuck around. We have a good time. Maddie kicked my ass in roast battle years ago, and I still remember it. Yeah. I call him gay.

It's easy. I said that if Jay would ask a girl he sexually assault if she came. Yeah, murdered. That's a good joke. Thanks. It's a very good joke. Let's go ahead and make some noise for your next comment. We're going to find out what we think is fucked up from Zahid Detjee.

What's up you guys? Hey, have a round of applause for Maddie. This is cool. Hello, it's nice to be it. This is a good gig. I like doing comedy at comedy places, like where it's supposed to happen. I did this gig recently. It's for my doctor.

My doctor's Indian. A lot of people tend to think that I'm Indian and I am, so I get where they're coming from on that. He checks out. My doctor, he hired me to do a private gig recently, So I go there, it's like sold out. He comes up to me right before the show, and he goes, hey, I have this great intro for you.

So I'm all excited. I'm like, all right, doctor's going to glow me up. And he goes out, he goes, ladies and gentlemen, this next comic comes to the stage, I've known him since he was this big. I've seen him with his clothes on, and I've seen him with his clothes off. Make some noise for Zahedevji.

Never lets them know that he's my doctor, by the way. Which is like the most important part of that fucking joke. He brings me up, everyone's like, what the fuck is going on? Just sounds like this optimistic pedophile just putting on fundraisers to fuck with victims, right? It's the wrong show. We're doing the wrong stuff at the wrong show. They're too tight, dude.

They're too tight. These are warm-up. Kids, let's talk about them. How come they're so fucking hot? You know what I mean? All right. He wants to fuck them, make them less hot. I won't have sex with him.

Fuck you, that's fun. They're fucking liking it. These moms are the most uncomfortable they've ever been. He says, yeah. Come on. You guys got kids? Maybe, come on. Is your kids?

No. Do you know them? No. That's awesome. Hell of it. I don't know how many kids. I have a dog. I have one of those friends that treats her dog.

Like, it's their baby. You know, one of those people? Yeah, like the other day, she drowned it in the tub. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you. Fuck you. for judging me, for doing the thing I was asked to do at the fucking show. You're like, come up here and do some wrong shit.

I did some wrong shit. They're like, you shouldn't die. You should do abortion stuff. How about, all right, I got a couple of one-liners here. You guys like one-liners, right? You guys remember? Yeah, you guys remember from the 40s? All right, here we go.

Because they're old. All right, one time I called my teacher mom. You ever do that? Call your teacher mom. I called my teacher mom. It got so awkward that. He stopped having sex with me. Pretty fun, pretty fun one.

All right, make some noise if you have an iny. Who's got an iny? Inny, yeah? Anybody got an Audi? Audi? No? Guys, it's fine. They're just buttholes, you guys.

What are we talking about here? All right. Look, that's a joke because I have hemorrhoids. Does anybody have hemorrhoids? Don't, come on. This table? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you kidding me?

You've been shitting since the Great Depression. What are we doing? I'm just shut up. This is... All right. No hemies? No truck's got a hemie, huh? All right.

Well, I do. No, don't say sorry. It's nice. Your assholes clean, you know? Mine's not. Like, I was hooking up with this blind chick because I'm an ally. And she stuck a finger in my ass.

I said, what are you doing down there? She said, reading. All right, guys. Come on. What the fuck? What the fuck? You guys like the magnum condom? Who likes the magnum condom?

Right? Akeem, you like it. Anybody else like the magnum? because it's a black guy. And he's gay. We found that out. I love the magnum, right? Because you name another condom that also covers your balls.

Put a magnum all. Looks like my dick's trying to rob a bank. What's up? Anybody? All right. I'm just kidding. A tiny part of me. Does wish I had a bigger dick. That's the joke.

All right, that was the whole joke. Now, I was having sex the other day. Hold your applause. I was having sex. I went in the bathroom to like fluff it up. You know, you got to like, you know what I mean? You got it into the game. You know what I mean? You can't go from like boxers to pussy. Like, what are you black?

So I went into the bathroom. Jesus Christ, the white guilt there on that one. I did it because there's like a difference between like a cock and a penis. You know what I mean? You know what I'm talking about, right? You know, a cock is like, I'm here to fuck. And a penis is like, I'm gay. So you go in there, you fluff it up. And I notice, thank you. One person, just holding it down for all the... So I went in the bathroom to fluff it up. I noticed in the bathroom she had triple-plied toilet paper, a squatty. potty and a bidet. Sounds like, all right, anal. Hell yeah, we're doing this. You know what I mean? Anal? Come on.

Did try anal for the first time or she called it pegging? I've got to end on one. We've got to end on one. End on two here. End on two here. End on two here. End on two here. Hold on. Hold on. We got, we got... Oh, I did this, I did this private gig recently. It was a bar mitzvah, right? Yeah. Somebody asked me to do a bar mitzvah. They called me up. They said, Zyat. I said, Zide, can you do a tight ten? I said, sure, what's his name? Right?

Like, fuck children. I'm a pedophile. All right, thank you guys so much. Zahey! This crowd, more of a pedophilia crowd than an abortion crowd. Learning very quickly. Who knew? Good for that.

Me too. All right. Thank you, Ty. You know what? You know what? Everybody boo Tyler real quick. Everybody booed Tyler. We are allowed to boo Tyler during the show, and one clap, that's fine, too.

Honestly, that went better than your last time you did the show today. Last time, 12 people wish I was dead. It was awesome. We actually have a clip from that last show. But then Jared, this is bad, right? It's what we're bad, I know. And it's not so bad I'm sweating on your way. This is your name show.

I'm going to lose. I didn't know if you're going to win. What the fuck? Who moves to L.A. to win? What are you at your mind? Dude, look at the two comics in the back who also hate me. I had just met them. They didn't know who I was.

And they, they were talking shit. while I was on stage. God, I hope they're dead. Right, you improved, so good news. Oh, that's good. Congratulations. Yeah, yeah, thank you. Yeah, there we go.

From wrong to the tonight show, and to strike. And to strike. Perfect. And back to wrong. And back to wrong. Right back to the bottom, baby. Yeah.

All right, let's go ahead and find out what we think is fucked up. From Akeem Woods, everybody. I'm gay. I'm gay. I missed when it was taboo. It's, it was. It was, kind of movement.

out, like, and it used to be back in the day when you tell people you're gay, like, oh my God, so spicy, so exciting. But now even when so progressive, I'm like, hey, I'm gay, like, well, I'm trans. I'm like, bitch, this is a competition. I don't understand. I recycle, too. I do miss it. I miss her when it was taboo.

It's still fun, though. But now, in order to make it fun for me, like, so it's back to being taboo, I only like to fuck dudes from, like, the Bible Belt. Yeah, like, really religious motherfuckers. dudes from like Iowa. Yeah, because if I fucking really religious dude, I'm like, oh shit, you want my dick more than you want to go to heaven.

Like, that's it. Like, he's going to hell with this dick. It makes it so much fun. I will tell you, recently, since I talked about fucking dudes in terrible stage, I was recently in Wisconsin, because they tricked me. And they did him, like, $1,000. How can I lose?

I lost. But I was in Wisconsin. I was doing shows. and I hooked up with this dude. And I'm pretty sure he was closeted, right? Because one, in Wisconsin. But two, when he went down to, like, suck my dick, he was like, hey, I got to suck your dick under the covers

so God doesn't see. I'm like, ooh, nigger, that's a lot to unpack. But for one, you think God's all powerful, but he can't see under sheets, motherfucker? You think God's just in heaven, like, yo, y'all better be doing straight shit under the air. No, God saw you suck my dick. And you're going to hell because you're amazing.

Like, do people really think God can't see on the sheets? Like, is that why the Klan wore the hoodies? Come on, white people. Don't let white guilt fuck up a good joke. You weren't part of the Klan. Your ancestors wore. That's the problem. I'm trying to date.

It's going terrible. I recently went on the date with this vegan dude. I know. So I don't have to tell you he was white. And I know white people love animals. Can't stop killing black people, but they love animals. I'll stop doing that part of the joke and y'all stop doing it. So I went to a day with this vegan white dude.

and we're sitting, we're at a restaurant, we're having fun, and he starts asking me questions. He's like, hey, are you vegan? I'm like, oh, no, I'm not. He's like, okay, well, would you consider being vegan? I'm like, oh, yeah. No, I wouldn't. I would not consider that.

He's like, okay, well, let me ask you what hypothetical. I'm like, you're cute, and you're paying for this meal. I'll answer hypotheticals. What's going on? He's like, hypothetically, if animals could talk, would you consider not eating them? I'm like, ooh, okay. Well, what are they saying?

And he did not laugh. Immediately he got mad. He's like, it doesn't matter what they're saying. I'm like, bitch, yes, it does. Because if me and an animal bonding over like golden girls or something, no, motherfucker, I'm not gonna eat the animal. We just bonded over Dorothy.

Like, I would never. Exactly. But on the other side, like in other case, if like a chicken caused me a nigger, I'm gonna eat the motherfucker. Like, what are we doing? Which, by the way, Chickens would totally say, nigga.

Think about it, they're white, they grow up on a farm, and I said that the table next to me was black, and they busted out laughing. And he got really mad. He's like, I don't think that's funny. I'm not willing to date someone who wouldn't be vegan. I'm like, all right, bet. Well, I'm just going to order the chicken.

Like, I'm not. And that's why I'm single. Oh. I was doing that same joke. I did that joke in San Francisco. and there was a vegan lady sitting up front this white lady named Tabitha of course and I did the joke and then afterwards I'm like hey Tabitha

if um if chickens could talk and they were racist would you still not eat them and Tabitha's like I wouldn't eat them I try to talk to him like bitch you're the problem I just told you what they were saying killed these racist chicken that's my favorite sentence I'm gonna end with this it's like a dark joke

We always, I think about death a lot, and I always like to think, like, if I could pick, I would want to die. And I always ask people in the audience, but this time I don't care. But, like, if I could pick, I don't want to die when I'm, like, really old, right? Yeah, so like 45, 46. And it's coming. But I don't want to die anywhere, right? I want to die at, like, a public place. Yeah, like, at a little kid's birthday party.

Let me specify, I wasn't invited to this kid's. birthday party. I just happen to be there. He's turning seven. It has to be seven. It's going to be outside like a park, right? I'm going to be sitting outside reading my book. They're going to bring Timmy his birthday cake. He's going to blow out the candles to make a wish. And as soon as he blows out the candles, I want a sniper to blow off my head. That way everyone's going to think he wished for me to die. And it's going to ruin his life. What I'm trying to say is I also do kids parties and I only have to do one. Okay, thank you. Bye.

Akeem Woods. In all of the history of the show, whoa. Damn. That is wrong. This stage is built wrong, incorrectly. Are you good, Akeem? I'm good, I'm going to sue, but I'm good. In all the history of the show, we've never had somebody do a joke about getting murdered

at a children's birthday party, so thank you for popping our cherry. Nice for that. That's a good deal. Now, Tyler, in addition to being the announcer and the guy running the tech, he is also our scorekeeper, and he's been keeping score, keeping track of how wrong and how funny everybody's being.

Tyler, how's everybody doing after the first round? I'll be honest, Jay. Everyone did a great job. It's a tie game. Five hundred points for everybody. Woo! This is like who's line is anyway. Exactly, yeah. Points don't matter. They matter to me, Jay.

Take away 100 points from yourself right now, Tyler. You know what, I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want, Jay? Because I got points of power, and I'm not bringing it back, buddy. Oh, my God. Jay, well, let's... I have a fancy drink. Can I go get it? Yeah, go get your fancy drink. Go get you. Yes.

You know what? Give a keen points for autonomy. I appreciate that. I'm going to give points for nicely asking. That's really good. That's really good. That's a great shirt, Tyler. Maddie's not sucking up to time.

Tyler for points. Yeah, you're ugly. Wait, what do we do to get points? We just suck Tyler's dick. I'll suck a dick. Was that what we're doing? Everything's on the table, guys. I was just kidding.

I'll suck your dick. Let's go ahead and move on to our next round while Tyler figures out how many points sucking a dick is in Tweetman. Hey. Yeah, you can clap. That's how we go in a game show. Look at that.

Well trained. So this round, people have social media. You all have social media. You've all probably said some regrettable things on social media. Luckily, nobody cares. But we do. And that's why we have gone through everybody's old social media posts, pulled out things that they said from years and years ago and blanked out words to see if they can guess what they said all those years ago. I know. Should have read that email, Maddie. I see that face of regret. I'm reflecting on my past. And I'm going to college, maybe. Okay?

What does that have to do with what I am now? That was years ago. Years. Don't worry. We're not going to start with them. We are going to start with one of mine. We always, just to get everybody on a beloved playing field. Yeah, and I don't know what it is. I never know what it is. Tyler and our research team pull it up, and I'm

always nervous, and I don't know what this is. So let's see what you guys pulled up for me. Oh, okay. This one's not so bad. 2012. 2012. January 5th, 638 p.m. Isn't that when y'all storm the Capitol? This is a 10-year pre-anniversary of storming the Capitol.

20-21, yeah. Jay, that's fucked up. Maddie is right here. Maddie Smith is the white trash version of Taylor Swift. Oh, that's kind of cute. I think that fits, yeah. Just realize that blank is the white trash version of blank. I feel like it's 2010.

It's definitely going to be something racist. It could be. A white trash racism, though. I'll figure out how to work it in there. I'm sure I probably did that at the time. Let's see our options. Just realize that stares are the white trash version of an abortion.

That's just a good joke. That is a good joke. That is a solid, that's a good joke. You should tweet that right now. I'll fucking tweet that right now. I don't care. So we all tweet it? Here we get social.

Melny, tweet that right now from the wrong account. Just realize that Just realize that bowling is the white trash version of golf Boo. And it deserves it. You guys can boo that one too, honestly that. It doesn't even make me think. It doesn't even make me think.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it true that this only got one comment? Yeah, this got no retweets and no likes, by the way. Just one comment. Oh, that's incredible. Good to see you stay the same all these years. Yes, thank you. Bad engagement.

Final option, just realize that DUIs are the white trash version of NASCAR. NASCAR is the white trash version of NASCAR. Yeah. Honestly, NASCAR should have more DUIs. I feel like they would really enhance the sport. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, because this is white people drive and they don't really pull over white people.

That's true. That's a good point. I feel like I might know what it is, but I will guess after you guys do, so which do you all think it is for your first set of points in this round? Is it one of these? Yeah. It's one of these. It's one of these three. Is there a black NASCAR driver?

There was. I'm just making it shut up there. There are, actually. Huh. Yeah. Interesting. We all learned something. Yeah.

White Tash Taylor Swift absolutely knows about NASCAR, for sure. Yeah. I don't know about you. I'm feeling 22. So, um, I liked the first one the best, but I don't think you were funny enough back then. I was not funny enough back then.

I really, I, I unfortunately, do feel like it's the second one. That's good. Yeah. I feel like it's the second one, too. I think it's the second one. You might be the second one? It's the second one.

God damn it. Fussed by old tweets because they're racist. We're embarrassed because they're bad. Because they're so bad. Hey, but we tagged it up 10 years later. That's good news. That's great. In hindsight, yeah, 11 years.

All right, let's go ahead and Mattie, come on over here. Let's get you in tweeted. Make it loud for Maddie Smith, everybody. Thank you. I'm nervous. Please remember that I'm on a TV show that involves people of color. And I really need to keep my job. So whatever it is.

We got, you're fine. We got this tweet from you from December 20th, 2014. I may or may not have just had four blank. Locals. Was it a drink that y'all drink? That you all drink?

This got no retweets and no likes also. Listen, 2014 was Dark year for me. Dark year, yeah. 6.53 p.m. What might you have been doing it this time? This is interesting, you guys found this. Because I actually do have an app that deletes all my old tweets,

so I guess that thing doesn't work. It did not go far back in them. That's crazy. We looked, you started Twitter in like 2009, you have tweets from like 2013. That's so interesting. And they're worse than this one. This one's pretty benign, but it's still, it's like the worst one we could find. Really? I'm so embarrassing.

I bet I tweeted this and was like, nice. I may or may not have just had four black cocks in my ass, or no, no, not that? I don't know. Is that wrong? That sounds wrong, right? That's a busy night. Yeah, yeah. A little slow for me, but I really don't know. I may not have just had 24.

No, we'll get some options. And Maddie, if you think you know what this is, don't say it. Because we'll show you your options, and then these guys will guess, and then you'll go last. Our may or may not have just had four fire marshals in my apartment. Oh, that sounds fun. Firefighters are hot. Okay. That sounds fun. I'll let you know at the time I was 80 pounds heavier than I am now.

So, not that that matters, but it was a rough time for me. And the fire marshals... That's all right. You were shaped like a pole. Yep. They're fire marshes, you fucking idiots. It's more like a hose. Probably a hose full of water. Pick it up.

What's the next one? Next option. I may or may not have just had four CW actresses try to get me to join Nexia. Oh, okay. I don't want to review my cars, but it was... This was around the time I started stand-up, so a stand-up or this.

Okay. Stand-up or a sex cold. Good options. I may or may not have just had four cups of eggnog. Dare me to drive. Yeah, that is that one. It's you. December 20th.

Oh, that's festive, because it's Christmas. Jay, she yelled out eggnog before we even started doing that. Nobody gets more points for yelling at eggnog. She's like, eggnog. She was like four eggnog. That's the number. It's because she was following me then. She remembered. She knew way back when.

That was a viral tweet. Akeem thinks it was this one. God, what do you think? I like, what was the one before this? It was the nexium. I think it's the nexium one. Do you? I'm not going to know what nexium is, but.

It's that sex cult. You got HBO? I do. I don't use it. Oh, okay. It's a sex cult. It's like TV. It's a sex cult.

There's like one actor from Small World in it as if anyone goes a fuck. Oh, no, no, no. This is how little man. Manning is a fuck, the show is called Smallville and not Small World. Oh, smallville. Yeah. As if anyone gives a fuck, like I said.

Wait, what's Small World? Maddie, which one do you? Well, I know which one it was because I remember this. I know, can I say which one it was? Yeah, yeah, say it. It is the Fire Marshal one, right? It is the Fire Marshal's one. What were you doing with Fire Marshal?

Yeah, what happened? Why were there four firearms in your private? Okay, so I was living alone. I was living alone in Rochester, New York. My job was selling fruits and vegetables to poor people, good person, and I lit my oven on fire, and all these fire marshals came, and they basically were like, why the fuck do you live in this neighborhood?

Yeah, and they didn't help me at all. They just sat there and were like, why do you live here? And then they left. It was pretty hot at the time, because they all came in massive gear. Yeah. That sounds kind of hot. I was like, yeah, you can hose me down. They're like, we have a family.

Yeah, that's what happened. There you go. Thank you. Thank you. And now it's time Zah and Demj. Get on up there. Let's see if you can remember what you got and tweet it. Oh, fuck, dude.

Okay. Roll that tweet, Tyler. I drink a lot, so. Okay. Here's one. 2016. I just hope. December 29, 2016. I just hope that when I get convicted of assault, blank.

Wait, is this all like December themed? I didn't even think about that. That's what, yeah, December 29. Yeah, this was a Christmas assault. It's like news resolution. This actually got, this did better than any tweet so far. One retweet, five likes. That's viral back then.

That's cool. Numbers up in 2016. That was numbers, yeah. Can we fill it in? I just hope that when I get convicted of assault, my sister doesn't say anything. Yeah, that's funny because she's dead. Yeah.

Keemy guess is? No, baby. Just talk about the multiple choices. Do you have any eyes? This is like showing up to Wheel of Fortune and not knowing what the alphabet is. It's unbelievable what's happening in the audience right now. I love how you write when I get assaulted.

I'm like, all right. I'm an honest guy. When it happens. This is also pre-me too, so you're just out there. Just out there. Visionary? Yeah. Well, let's see if we can get some options.

I just hope that when I get convicted of assault, they list my festival credits at the bottom of the area. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. That's definitely what it is. That's definitely what it is. If you guys don't know, there's a time in stand-up

where we're all doing scam festivals. Memphis Comedy Festival. Motor City Comedy Festival. That's where means I had met was at the Motor City Comedy Festival. Yeah, comedy's dumb. Blue Whale. Blue Whale, yep. I just hope that when I get convicted of assault,

I'm still allowed to do drop-in spots at UCB. Oh, wow. This is all comedy-related. This is interesting. Yeah, we're pretty inside. I've been bitter since the beginning. I don't think you were doing drop-ins at UCB in 2016. I don't think UCB.

have drop-ins like that, do that? Does you even have drop-ins? No, they don't even pay the regulars. Okay, so whoever wrote that doesn't get comedy. There's an improv show, I just walk up. Ew. They're like, get the fuck out of you. Yes, and I assaulted someone.

What's the next one? I just hope that when I get convicted of assault, I don't get upstage by Jerry Seinfeld in his newest teenage slam piece. Oh, was Jerry Seinfeld fucking little, little dudes back then? You didn't know? You didn't know?

His girlfriend was 17. I don't follow white culture. What is the deal with that, though? What is the deal with that? So his wife, what was her name? Shoshana. Shoshana, he found her in a park, and he was like, I don't know, she was young.

Oh, that's hilarious. This is interesting. What a deal? What's a deal with a statute of limitations? Was he doing that in 2016, though? I mean, that's an important question. And, Mattie, you guys get a chance to guess before Zai locks in his answer.

I think it was the festival one. I think festivals as well. Yeah, because UCB ain't doing shit. Yeah, and I would never attack my hero, Jerry Seinfeld. I mean, groundbreaking comedian. Right. Upstage.

I don't think you would use the word upstage. I don't think you just used the word upstate either. I do not know what that means. It's a little too sophisticated. Yeah, yeah. You're like, up here? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you were talking to them outside, but you would have word it differently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, we think it's... We're going to go festivals. We got two acting for festivals. What do you think? I'm with them on that one, festival, baby.

It is festival credits. Yeah. Thank you, Lampers died. Nice work. That's a good tweet. Let's get Akeem Woods and tweeted. Hello, over there, Kay. I'm pretty so...

I have a question. Yeah, what's up? Did they list your festival credits? Very funny. I've only tweeted like once or twice Yeah Okay So we went on your Facebook and said

Okay way better Yeah way better because I don't do it The gay Twitter That's international waters I'm ready This tweet or this Facebook post Excuse me It's very old

We'll just say If you remember if you have an idea Of what it might be Don't say it Okay Because this is a very This is from 2010 Oh this is before I came out

Oh I can be I'm probably talking about pussy This is wild Wait, did you talk like that the whole time? I did, I was terribly in the closet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Being gay as hard. All right.

I love pussy. I love my girlfriend. I didn't come out until I was 2016. Let's see this 2010 Facebook post. May 27, 2010. Oh my God, this is hilarious. I think I was still in high school, and someone, so my friend took my phone in high school

and six comics, killed in the game, and my friend took that, my phone in high school and wrote that. Okay. So we'll see, do you know what the thing is? I 100% know the answer. Oh, my God. All right, we're going to have to wait then

and see what Maddie and Zod think. All right, so it's blank, all are invited to this magnificent event. Seinfeld's new wife, 11. Option one. ass eating contest at Burger King all are invited to this magnificent event I did

A Burger King wasn't my first job Good time Fisting Orgy at my aunties All are invited to this magnificent event My auntie is wildly homophobic That would be fun Or Weiner party in my butt

All are invited to this magnificent event That's the name of his first album though That would be a lot That might be a good album. Weiner party in my butt. That's so funny. Weiner party. Anthony Weiner.

Wait, how did you all, did you guys go back to 2010? That's a long time ago. That's 13 years ago. How did y'all find this? You just haven't, you didn't take anything off your Facebook? Oh, no, I never do,

and I'm not going to. I'm just wondering, you have to scroll back to 2010. Yeah. Oh, you guys are sad. This is all we have, the king. This is all we got. Okay.

It's wild. Zad, Maddie. Do you all think you know which one it is? I feel like it's weiner party because 2010 we're all saying shit like that. Weiner party in my ass. Oh yeah. No, I knew I was gay since fifth grade.

I just lied about it. Right, right, right. I'm going to go with weiner party. Yeah. Do you think it's weiner party also? I got to go. It just, even if I didn't, I still have to go with wean party.

It's such a cool phrase. Yeah. Oh, no, that's what it is. Yeah, yeah. That's what it is. What a bunch of comments. How did you guys find that? And we will say, we did look at the comments, and we did see that you posted.

Somebody took my phone, I've been hacked. You're trying to cover up. But I'm going to leave it up because I do want a weiner party in my butt. I don't do this stuff. Well, that was entweeement, everybody. What a wonderful round. Tyler, how are we doing with the scores? All right, right now in third place is a key, with 1300 points.

Wow, racist. In second place is Maddie with 1,500 points. Sexist. First place is out with 1,600 points. Yeah, sexual assault. Please a lot. I'm kidding. That's bad.

All right, let's go and move on to our next round. The Discomfort Zone. No, you don't have to clap anymore. That's fine. You get the good. No, this is making it uncomfortable. You understand better than anyone else could. So we just looked through everybody's old social media post.

We found a thing that are fucked up. But now we have some more questions based on other things that we found in our research. Yes. Okay. We got one question for each person. We've done some research, and we're going to start off with Maddie Smith in this comfort zone. Maddie, come right over here. Get right over here.

All right. Yes, make a laugh for Maddie. Okay. So, you did this joke earlier in your set, but you're on Wild and Out. You talk about, you know, the Nick Cannon kids' joke. Yes. Great stuff, you know. Yes.

We look back a little bit in your early wild and out career. Okay. And we found a tweet that you made. Oh, God. You found the N-word. Never mind. No, we actually found a tweet about the Buffalo Library. Clip up one more and play the video, Tyler.

Everybody booed Tyler because he fucked the tech up. I skipped it. You skipped it. How dare you? Wait, is this a Fox News? This was a crazy time in my life. You're going to click. This one.

I don't know, DG helped this one. Right there. There you go. Hit it. Social media is a pretty powerful thing these days. A tweet about a local library became a social media sensation recently. Ooh. From 2019.

Hundreds of thousands. Okay, dude. Speaks with a woman who made that viral post. Definitely go check out your library. It's not your grandfather's library. I saw a screenshot on Instagram of someone raving about the library and to me it was very comedic and satirical looking and just it looked like parody. Well, the tweet blew up and it kind of like exploded into 200,000.

It got more than 20,000 retweets and 200,000 likes. Why are you shaming her for discovering the library? I'm like, why are we discovering libraries at age 20 literally seven? Like, come on. I've never seen this. It's pretty great. That's so funny. That's so funny.

Yeah, and you did delete this tweet. This tweet, one of the tweets we found that we could not find us. It must have been deleted because of my stupid app. My stupid tweet, Tweet, Marshall tweet, and got rid of this shit. We did. I've never seen this before in memory. I just love that your tongue is out. It's adorable.

On the fucking news. On eyewitness news. This was crazy. This was crazy. This bitch from my high school. Instagram storied a tote bag from the library and she's like, I have to share with you guys. You can take out books for three weeks at a time.

Well, for free. So I tweeted. I should have followed some fucking dumb bitch content thinks she discovered the library. But I said, mysteriously, someone, isn't that funny? I'm sure I said, I did the math. On average.

She did the math? What a loser. I know. We did find... There's more. It's like, you can also look, you can also use their computers for free. We found, so deleted, the tweet got deleted, we found an archive version of it where we've had some comments that we were like, oh, maybe these are why these got deleted. This is so rude, delete the post.

Who is Sophia Bennett? She's a internet lady. She's like a GQ writer. This was at the time where like you, if you posted something on Twitter, I got called a cunt over and over for this tweet. Yeah. Fuck you for being an asshole about it. this person, this is a librarian

who you really pissed off. Yeah, all the librarians were really fuck you! As if I don't go to... And they were like, you don't know what kind of access this woman had. By the way, this bitch was like the richest person in my town. Also, everyone has access to a fucking library,

bitch, the library. It's the library. Did you not pronounce the middle of the library? What are talking about? Yeah, I just do stuff. Yeah, he called it library. That's okay. Now, we are ashamed. as we are, we think that you're right

in sticking by your point of view that this woman should not have learned about the library at 27. Yes. And we are curious for your question. Am I wrong? Do you guys agree with me? What will you shame Nick Cannon's kids for not discovering until age 20 literally seven?

That's a great question. 20 literally seven. That's so funny. You should send me that video. I'll fucking post it. I blocked out this whole time because so many people were calling me a bitch. I kept it up for the numbers. Anywho, what will you shame Nick Cannon's kids for not discovering until age 20, literally seven? I don't know, maybe that their dad's music sucks.

Hey, roasted. No, I'm kidding. Was that rude? Oh, maybe I could shame them for not knowing that their dad has five baby mamas. That would be funny if they're 26 and they're like, wait, what? Wait, you're my brother too? You too? Wait, that's crazy.

That's what I would do. I would shame them for them Instagramming. Wait, you guys, I had no idea that my dad has come in eight different women. And then I would post on Twitter. This fucking kid thinks he's Nick Cannon's only kid. Thank you for Maddie Smith, everybody. Get on up there, Zad. It's time for you to enter the discomfort zone.

I thought their kids were going to be like, who's Nick Cannon? Oh yeah, because he's not an active father. Thank you. And that's what I need him. They laugh for the time. All right, Zad. So, we saw your special on Don't Tell Comedy.

Oh, fuck. We found there was one joke that really stood out to us. We're going to play it right here for you. I can't watch. I hope I. Right now, there's a show called The Good Doctor. You'll cancel. And it's about a white kid with autism,

when really it should be about any Indian man. Like if you went to the ER and you were bleeding out of your fucking head And behind the desk was a white teenager with Asperger's and next to him was an Indian man and you leaned in and said Let me get the good doctor. We all know who the fuck you're talking about. Give us our show. Solid writing. Solid writing.

Should have gotten a pause before the punchline. But you know, I'm learning. I'm learning. So we sometimes when we do this game on Discomfort Zone, we play a game with the comments on YouTube videos. Fuck Mary comment with comments that are mean like these. Dude, the comments in this are so funny. So mad.

They're funnier than the whole thing I put out. By the way, the start of the clip, the thumbnail for this is like white people are getting erased or something like that and people are very, piece, piece, fail. Some guy told me. Whoa, whoa, don't say people. It's white people.

White people, yeah. It's white people who are hiding behind avatars. Some guy commented in all caps, go back to Sandland. Jesus. Fuck you, I was, I could not stop laughing. That's so funny. That sounds like an awesome theme part.

Oh my God, that's good. I would fucking say. I go to Zia, right? I know the funniest comments of this thing. It's almost the second world in Mario. Yes, yeah, totally. But we were really intrigued until we saw this comment. Yeah.

The Asperger's joke was not cool. Don't use that word for autistic people. Hans Asperger's killed autistic kids and was a Nazi for shame. Is this dude a fucking dictionary? Who knows that? We didn't know this what this was. We thought this might have been trolling. We didn't know what this was.

Well, yeah, as five people on stage with Asperger's, we had no idea. We had no idea. We had no idea. We did our own research. We couldn't find. The most upsetting thing about this for me is, first of all, I've never heard anyone say for shame.

But also, to say for shame and then not punctuate it, this is disgusting. Yeah. It should be for shame. It should just go. for shame, I don't know. Yeah, don't leave it. We did do some research.

What are you autistic? To follow up on this. How they get distracted? We looked up Hans Asper. Oddly enough, he looks like he had the disease. Yeah. He was the director of the University of Vienna Children's Clinic in the 1940s. He is portrayed as a champion in their university.

He basically helped invent the study of the autism spectrum. Okay. However, he was also a Nazi, or he had some pretty bad Nazi ties. It's hard to meet a good guy in the city. I mean, and before we ask this next question, we do just need to emphasize. We know that this guy was a bad dude, but he was clearly a good doctor. He helped create... Dude, you're allowed to be a Nazi if you're autistic.

What are you going to tell the guy, you know? I mean, most of them these days are, I think. He was already walking like this anyways. you guys are a lot more that was funny. The only thing I'm saying is very funny. You are wrong. So we have a question for you, Zad.

We have a scenario we'd like to pose. All right. So you go to the ER, you're bleeding from the fucking head. There are two doctors behind the desk. Who do you choose? The teenager with Asperger's or the Nazi doctor, Dr. Asperger. Oh, my gosh. And just for visual representation.

All right? Like, you're not going to let me. this answer but I'll tell you right now the Nazi doctor hates Jews and you know I'm not that and his thing starts with the word doctor and that guy hasn't you know fucking gotten late so I'm going with Nazi doctor okay yeah going with the Nazi tweet about it and you know what else he didn't take a job from an Indian man yeah Make a lot for Zad, Deputy.

Akeem, good up. Very interested on what the fuck this is gonna be. Yes. We've talked about it already the show. Keem's first job was a Burger King. Correct.

We looked back on your Facebook to see if we could find any photos of you, Burger King. You did. This is the only actual one that we found. Yeah. Terrible employee. Fat ass though.

Still got that fat ass. I got that fat ass. Caked up. Any cage in the audience. I lived down the street. We have this drawing that somebody made. This is a good time. We got the crown.

Floodies? I can't swim. I think it was a racist joke. Oh, okay. Weiner party in your butt. So now we know, though, you've come out since your time of Burger King. You've had a lot of sexual experiences since your time of Burger King. So much sex.

So we want to go to bring it all together. And we have a question for you. What the? Which Burger King dipping sauce would make the best loo? These are your options. Okay, well, not buffalo or barbecue because that's spicy. We're not monsters. Rance is like white trash.

It's between honey mustard or sweet and sour? Honey's to sing sweet and sour out of nowhere. I'm hearing murmurs of sweet and sour. We're hearing murmurs. Nobody's talking about zesty, by the way. No, no. Zesty's too cliche. Zesty.

Okay, you know what? Fair, fair, fair. I'm gonna go with, um, I'm gonna go with sweet and sour. Okay, bitch, I guess, I don't know. Yes, it's not that much. We love a healthy king. Yeah, you know. I know.

All right, so let's rank him sweet and sour, then what comes after that? Okay, so it would be sweet and sour, and then honey mustard. Yes. And then barbecue. Interesting. Barbecue. I wouldn't have guessed. and then ranch, I guess, and then

Desi and then Buffalo. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like spicy. That's fair. Well, there we go. Akeem wants everybody. Look at that.

Is there, do you two have different options that you would pick over Akeem? Come. I personally like cum. Oh, actually, I actually hate cum. It's a lot. I would do Buffalo just because I'm from Buffalo. got to represent.

That's on the Burké secret menu. There we go. Folks, we have a little word from our sponsor real quick, so we're going to run that and we'll be right back with the scores after this round. Well, it finally happened.

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We do a great job. Thank you, Divorce Dad Guitar Center. Tyler, has everybody been doing after the first few rounds? Great round, great round. Third place, Akeem with 2,000 points. Ridiculous. It will be great, I guess. Man in the second place with 2,200 points.

And Zod, still in the lead with 2,400 points. Okay. Up here taking jokes, eh. We have. The guy counting his Asperger's stuff. My Asperger's stuff. I am very excited. We are going to get our next.

round going. This is a round called the weakest kink. You're all the weakest think. Bye. Who's familiar with the weakest link? Who's familiar with the weakest link? Makes some ways you're familiar with the weakest link. Yep.

Great show, iconic show. Trivia questions. Cunty British lady. What more could you ask for? A wonderful time. Great time. He was great. We have our own Weakest Link style game where we only ask questions. that we found from Pornhub Insights. Wait, Pornhub has a question portion?

They've got an analytics section where they have a bunch of data about all of the shit we're jerking off to. Oh, my God. You guys are losers. Yeah. And we're all going to play a couple rounds of the weakest kink.

So everybody, please stand up, take a stand. This is the first round for the weakest kink. Take a stand. Stand up. You guys have all seen pornography. before? You seen pornography before? Yeah, yeah, a couple times today. What's inside a game? You guys? Of course.

No. I fucked up with two porn stars. Nice. Yeah, well, one was just a nigga with a camera but. Oh, Mike Maverick is one of if you want to Google them. Just type in. Yeah, yeah. That's so funny. Nice. Good work. The first round, we're going to play this classic weakest link style. We're going to go ask y'all questions one by one down the line.

These will be multiple choice questions, and whoever gets the fewest answers correct will be eliminated because they are the weakest king. Goodbye. Good. Okay. Is it like trivia? Yeah, it's trivia. We're going to start off with the strongest link, which is Zahed. Tyler, put the time on the clock. Oh, what? It's time?

Two minutes, maybe. Zahed, what is the most popular search phrase in New York City on Pornhub? Miltf, stepmom, or step sister? Step sister. Incorrect, milk. I mean, I don't know. Akeem. Yeah, baby.

What ethnicity do New Yorkers search for more than any other city in America? Asian, Latina, Indian. Fucking Indian, nigga. Correct. Maddie. Wait, but he added a different thing to it. Maddie. What category do people from Boston search for more than any other city in America?

College, giantess, lesbian seduces straight. Lesbian seduces straight. Incorrect. giantess. Fuck. Zahib. What is the most popular search term in Philadelphia?

Lesbian, lesbian, scissoring, or ebony lesbians? Lesbian scissoring. Incorrect. Lesbian. Fuck! Akeem. Which of these search terms

was the most popular on Father's Day 2023? Black Daddy, Muscle Daddy, Harry Daddy. Black Daddy. Correct. Maddie.

Maddie. He's gay. He's gay. Which of these search terms was the most popular on Mother's Day, 2023. British Milf, chubby milf, 50-year-old milf? Chubby milk. Incorrect, 50-year-old milk.

Zahid. I need one. Sorry, I'm such a virgin. Which of these search terms was most popular during the Super Bowl? Sports bra fuck, nude sports locker room boner. Wait, wait. Sports bra fuck, nude sports locker room boner. Locker room boner.

Incorrect, nude sports. Fuck. Akeem. In which country is Japanese, not the most viewed category? Afghanistan, Mongolia, Bolivia. Mongolia. Incorrect, Afghanistan. Maddie, which movie's characters saw the biggest growth in popularity last Halloween?

The Exorcist, Hocus, Suicide Squad. Uncoracist, Hocus, Poca. Oh, that is time. Because the movie came out again, baby. Wow. Let's make that the whole show. I'll do this for 40 minutes. Yeah, seriously.

I mean, did they get... They got none right. They got none right. Yeah, but then how come I'm hard right now? They got none. I think, Jay, let's go back to back. We'll find the who's the weakest out of them. We got two. We got more questions.

We got extra questions for you guys. Let's literally do it back to back to back. Oh, ass to ass. I like this. Ask to ass. Okay. We're going to go with Zahed. Yes.

What comic book character was most searched for last Halloween? Harley Quinn, Shee Hulk, Wonder Woman. Harley Quinn. Correct. I just started watching porn like this year. You have to get this right to stay in the game. Thanks. Okay.

What is the most popular alien-related search phrase? Alien impregnation, alien abduction, or sexy alien babe? A. Alien impregnation is correct, correct? Zahed. Zahed. I'm trying to think. Which country has the most viewers over age six years?

Belgium, Spain, or Egypt? Egypt. The correct answer is Belgium. Oh! All right. Maddie, if you get this, you're going to the final round. Okay. What was the most popular trending search in France?

First anal... When? Sex doll during the past year. Okay. First anal, sex doll, veiled woman. Oh, my God. Um... Um...

Um... Sex doll. That is correct. Take a seat. All right. Maddie, no, Maddie and Akeem,

you guys are in sudden death to see who's going to win the whole fucking game. Okay. With the same thing? It's different. So we have, we got a lot more questions this time.

Okay. Was it, is it still sex stuff? It's still sex stuff. Do we have to stay standing? Stay standing. Okay. This is sudden death.

So you're each going to get, we have five questions for each of you. Oh, no. Whoever best out of five wins. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. you because you were the strongest link from the last round. Okay, boom. Yeah, let's hit that music, Tyler. I kind of do, it makes it seem fun. It's stressful. It's kind of, I watched a lot of weakest link.

This music is incredibly stressful. That's why people failed on the show all. It's not stressful if you don't care. I care, I need this. Oh, I don't have nothing going on. All right, Akeem. Yes, baby. Now these are not multiple choice.

Just so you guys know, this is open-ended. Oh, nice, so they're going to get them all right. Open-ended. Very good. You have a little more time if you want to work it out and think about it. Yeah, you don't have a time limit. You can talk out loud before you lock in your answer.

Okay, baby. Okay. Which New England state watches porn the least on Valentine's Day? Do you have to know places? New England? Which New England state? There's different states in New England?

Oh, my God. Didn't I tell you all I don't know white things? Like, why? Ask me about the porn in Harlem. I don't know. Do not help him. Do you not help him? New England have different, the Patriots, nigga.

I don't know. Wait, what are the phrase it? Okay, so think of, where are the Patriots here? Okay, I don't know, maybe. I just say Patriots because I like the guy on the team. Who's that? The one who throws the ball? Tom Brady?

Yes. He's not even there anymore. Oh, he was. No, but he was fine. It's a good point. Help him out. Wait, wait, but I don't say what I'm asking. What am I answered?

What state? What state? In New England. Watch is the least amount of porn on downtown state. What state? The different state? I don't want, New England is just New England. You know, okay.

It's a region. Oh, it's a region. Oh, like the back coast. Yeah. Oh, I don't fucking tell a well, nigga. The correct answer is Connecticut. Oh, okay. I don't know.

I don't know that area. It's okay. That's fine. Yeah, I went to a good school. I went to school in Florida. They teach you absolutely nothing. Yeah, they don't talk about New England there. Maddie.

Okay. Which generation is more likely to search for Bukaki than any other? Okay. We got the generations. We got the boomers. We got Gen Z. We got Gen X. We got Millennial.

And who's above there? I guess. I'm going to say boomers. The correct answer is Gen X. Oh. Who is that? Which one is that? That's the one above millennials.

Like four-year-olds right now? Four? Forties. 40? Yeah. Oh, they like come on the face? Yeah. Boomers are really into pissing and hand jobs.

Oh. Hand jobs. Who the fuck? What type of child is a hand job? Pissing and hand jobs. who were in their 65-year-olds. Right. Okay, so we're both.

You're both off to a bad start. In my defense, I didn't know Knaecan, but. Akeem. Yeah. Which fast food chain hilarious. Was the most popular search term for Louisiana in the week before the last

presidential election. What type of wife? That has nothing to do with porn. I mean, they're searching for one fast food chain on Pornhub in Louisiana. Louisiana, see, I, I know Louisiana. There's one answer.

There's one answer to this. Stop. I know Louisiana is like the South. So they have like, do you know the answer? Okay, bitch. Okay, can you take if it's a burger place or? No, I can't. Oh, you can't?

I don't know if I can phone a friend, bitch. I don't know what's going on. That's a different game. Oh, okay. What fast food was the most Googled in Louisiana? The day after what? The election? The presidential election.

Yeah, the last presidential election. Right? Yeah. I don't know, church is chicken. The correct answer is Popeye. Damn! Who is that? Nah. Okay.

Okay. Okay. True or false, Maddie? Also, it's racist. Y'all ask me a chicken question, but continue. I was thinking about that. True or false. The most popular search term for Alaska in the week before the last presidential election was No, Not November.

Alaska, I feel like No, not November. did not make its way to Alaska culturally. There's a little bit of a divide there, so I'm gonna go with false. Correct answer is true. I know, they're not nothing up there, I guess. Whoa, it's cold. Okay. The music is on a loop.

Usually this round is a lot faster than this. Akeem. Yes, baby. Okay. True or false. The most popular search term in Scotland is jack-off instructions. Oh. Shit, I'm trying to think of all.

the Scottish dudes I fucked. And if they were, they, because I have fucked some white dudes who were bad at it. But I don't know if they were Scottish. I don't ask when I'm fucking anymore. I don't know if they're actually watching it to get better at jacking up. No, that's what they're doing.

Okay, so I'm gonna say, that's wild. I'm gonna say false. That is correct. Bitch, you haven't gotten any right. Take out of your dick and scorn. Okay. We're going to give you this one. Okay.

British masturbators are over 300% more likely than Americans to search for what kind of Middle Easterner? I have to go. It's been nice. Which masterbaters, 300 times more likely to search for this type of Middle Eastern. British. Curry. 300. That's a lot.

300%. So they, so Middle Eastern. This is my version of New England. Oh, what you mean? Where is the Middle East? What do you mean? I went to school in Florida. Let's say, does Egypt count or no?

Is that stupid? Egypt isn't in the Middle East car? Is that Middle East? Yeah, baby. Is your answer? I'm gonna say Egypt. The correct answer is Iranian. Oh.

This is the last one? Yeah. If you get this one, then this is it. Okay. What? I'm freaking out. What's the question? Which continent?

Oh, bitch. We've discussed my education, but let's do it. Which continent is most likely to watch porn featuring characters from the Super Mario Bros. Universe. Oh, my God. What kind of we? Which one are we? North America? Wow. We are North America. I'm gonna pick that. No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait a second. Them Asian niggas love... Yo, them Asian niggas love Mario Luigi. I'm gonna pick Asia. That's a continent, right? Asia. I'm gonna pick Asia. That's a continent, right?

Okay, well, that's what I'm picking. The correct answer is South America. God, that's wild. That's interesting. That's stupid. That's very interesting. I feel like that's incorrect. This is interesting.

Asia got a whole goddamn theme park with fucking Yoshi and shit. True. I think South America's into Princess Peach. Yeah, yeah. You have to get this one right or Akeem wins. Okay. Okay. Okay.

No, no, no. Bits, I won. You did badly. All right. All right. I'm freaking out. Which of the original 13 colonies? Why do we have to know stuff, motherfucker?

Oh, Pakistan. What comedians? We're not educated, motherfuckers. It's how jokes for a living. All right. I'm listening. 13 colonies. Which of the original 13 colonies searches for face sitting more than any other?

All right. Face sitting. Well, 13th collared, what we got for? Virginia. Georgia wasn't in the 13 colonies? No, it was like, it was like, Pennsylvania. They seemed like they would be in the face sitting, right? New Hampshire.

It was like all, though, yeah. I might say Virginia. That is not in the OGs. No, yeah, you don't know. I think, I think, I think, I think, I think Pennsylvania is a good answer. It could be New York. That's good. There's a lot of niggas in New York.

New York, right. I'm going to throw Pennsylvania out there. The correct answer is New Hampshire. Make some noise for Rakeem White. It's New Hampshire. I started it. Yeah, we are here being gay and no one about sex. Losers, all of you. Good job.

Thank you. What a wonderful round. Before we wrap things up, we've got our final round coming up, but Tyler has a couple quick announcements and some audience prizes we have to give out. Oh, yeah. Well, first of us, something allowed for our bar staff here at Cavend. We've got Crystal, we got Andrew, we got Kyle Murposa. All these are these great folks.

And we have some special prize for some of our audience members that we found at, what did we find of that? Salvation Army. Salvation Army. All right, let's see. Valerie wrote, this guy didn't make me come. That's why your week was fucked up. Valerie, where are you at, Valerie? A copy of Cool Runnings on DVD.

Tyler, who's next? Who's next? Page who said wake, funeral, divorce, dentist, Jewish. Page. You get a copy of Harold and Maud on DVD. That's a good movie. That's cute. The dentist was the worst part of them.

Next. We have Jack, Jack, who just wrote porn and crack cocaine. Jack, you get a copy of Annie Hall. Made by a hero, if I could say. And for our audience winner, Nobody. Yeah, nobody. Nobody. Sarah and Jane Baker.

You get a copy of The Sneeze, How Germs Are Spread on DVD. Perfect timing. Makes noise for our audience winners, everybody. Thank you for telling us why we had a fucked up week. And now we're going to get to move on to give prizes to our comedians with the final round, the palate cleanser round.

I thought we were done. No. I said we're almost done. We're very close. We got one joke left per person. And because this has been a bit of a fucked up show. We want you guys to get out of here on a nice note. We have

asked our comedians to pallet cleanse with their cleanest most wholesome joke. This all hinges on this. If whoever gets the cleanest most wholesome joke could win the entire show. Tyler, how's everybody doing on the points?

All right, well, that was a very good round. Right now, Akeem, the third place, so 2,400 points. Ouch. After winning, weakest king? Oh, yeah, I should have gave him a more points for that.

To be honest, I'll just do that. It's tied. It's kind, Joe. Everyone's got 2,500 points. Bitch, what? Okay, forget it. Yeah, that's fine. I.

What a, this is wild. I'll just do that. For the prizes that Tyler found at the 20th Street Cellular Legion Army, it doesn't really matter. Let's go ahead and have our palettes cleanse. Make it loud for the clean, wholesome joke of Maddie Smith, everybody.

What's up, you guys? joke. I moved to New York eight years ago and I couldn't afford a bed when I moved here so I had to sleep on an air mattress. Has anyone here ever slept on an air mattress for six months? For six months? Oh, three months. That's still pretty depressing.

That sucks. It got to the point where I would look up videos of other beds while I was going to sleep. I felt like I was cheating on my air mattress. I'd be like, look at those springs. Nice. I would watch those memory foam commercials. Remember those ones where the woman jumps up and down on the mattress and she's pretty?

And the wine glass doesn't move. I'll tell you this right now on the air mattress, the SpaghettiOs moved. All right? Thank you. Maddie Smith, everybody. And let's hang out for the clean joke palac cleans by side. Deptje. So a couple years ago, my mom, for my birthday, bought me a mouse pad that said family on it.

Above it were pictures of people that I had never met before. because she didn't know you were supposed to customize it when you bought it. She just saw it online. She was like, family, hell yeah. Let's do this thing. Then she gave it to me. I opened it up, and I was like, I saw these white faces, and I was like, hey, who the hell are these people?

And my Indian mom looked at me in my face, and dead search said, that's family right there. So, yeah, I called ICE, and now she doesn't live with us. Okay, all right. Signed to live. All right, this has been fun. I'll look at my stuff. I don't have anything for you.

But I'll tell you, this is, this is been a fun gig. I'll tell you my favorite gig recently. It was like four or five months ago. I did a bunch of shows on like a gay cruise ship. And I just wanted to let y'all know, like, however gay you think it was, nigger, it was gay. Like, it was exactly what Republicans think gay niggas is doing on a boat. Like, it was Mike Pence's wet dream. So it was so gay that like half her through the trip, I'm like, oh shit, I'm homophobic.

This is too gay for me. I got to get out of here. At one point I went to like the buffet like during the breakfast time to get like a sandwich or something. And this dude had a jock strap on. I'm like, yo, you have your ass out over bacon. Like, I mean, I fucked them. But that's not the point. The point is I wanted eggs.

And I got sausage. That was a dick joke. All right, that's it. Bye. Hakee Woods, everybody. All right. I don't have a wholesome joke. It all comes down to this.

Audience, you are going to make some noise for whoever you think had the most wholesome joke out of the palacons around. Oh, probably Maddie. Oh, my God, I should have did a late-night joke. I could have done one of the jokes I did on late-night. Damn. Next time.

It's too late. That's funny. Instead, I went with fucking a guy in the air. You know those two. Sometimes I mix those. Listen, I would feel in sex more and I got done winning the kink game, okay? You got to put a break between them, two shit.

Well, my palate is not cleansed. Everybody, please make it loud if you think Maddie Smith had the most wholesome joke of the palakins around. Make it loud if you think Zad Demjy had the cleanest, most awesome joke in the palette comes around. And make it more if you think of Keevit

the most wholesome joke of the palakins around. It's Maddie Smith, everybody. Guys is Tyler telling them what they won. In third place, I don't know exactly who that would be. So you decide, Jay. You got Thomas Jefferson's Feast. It's a book about Thomas Jefferson bringing food for France to America. I'm not going to, I don't want to, yeah, I'm not getting no.

I mean, he owned slaves. I'm a pass. He's definitely not about. He did not owe them. He was renting. Okay, I'm going to pass on the dude who owned slaves. It's okay. It's just a.

Look how he invented macaroni and cheese. Oh. So not only needs to have slaves, he also took our recipe. It's the place. You get Once Upon a potty for him. It's all about a grandma who's teaching his grandson, Joshua, how to use a porta potty or a potty or whatever, not port of potty, but whatever. Whatever, good luck with it.

All right, and our grand prize. It's Photograph by Drew Barrymore. That's the grand prize. Drew Barrymore. She is a guy. Special, special prize. There's also a photo of some guy that was just sitting there at Salvation Army.

He threw him the book. It's a photo of a shirtless guy. It's under park. I want that. I love it. I love it. I'm in J.A.L. That's Tyler Messersch.

Thank you, everybody, for coming. If you like the show, please follow us at Wrong Game Show on all social media. That way you'll see you want to come back next time. Thank you, Caviott. Thank you so much to make sure you getting some drinks, tip your weight staff,

and we'll see you guys next time right here. On Wrong. Bye-bye. Thank you.