WRONG! A Fucked Up Game Show - #7 – ROLLERBLADING OR GETTING MOLESTED? (ft. Aparna Nancherla, Jason Ellis, Steve Hernandez)

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Recorded live at Alamo Drafthouse DTLA, 7/29/2023.OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS: Jason Ellis, Steve Hernandez, Aparna NancherlaSUPPORT THE SHOW ON PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/wronggameshow⁠⁠⁠⁠COME SEE US LIVE: San Diego: 11/11 @ Mic Drop Comedy Club, 10 PM Los Angeles: 11/17 @ Alamo Drafthouse, 8 PM This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wronggameshow.substack.com Get full access to Captain's Log at jaylight.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wronggameshow.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello folks, welcome to another podcast edition of Wrong, a fucked up game show. I'm your host Jay Light, and in this episode, we returned to the West Coast with a hometown show for the books. Recorded live at Alamo Draft House downtown L.A. on July 29, 2023, this show's contestants were Jason Ellis, Steve Hernandez, and Aparna Nancherla. At Aparna's request, we have edited out her stand-up portion from the show. Before we get into it, thank you to the other members. of the wrong team and to our Patreon subscribers, Joe Ammer, Richard, Abigail Shane, Marcellina, and Molly Green. If you'd like to get full access to the video episodes and get a shout out here,

you can subscribe on Patreon for as little as a dollar a month at patreon.com slash wrong game show. Please follow us on all the socials at Wrong Game Show. And, of course, the best way to experience the show is live. That way you won't miss a second of the action. Our next shows are in San Diego at Mike Drop. Comedy Club 10 p.m. on November 11th and in Los Angeles at the Alamo Draft House downtown L.A. 8 p.m. on November 17. Get tickets at Beacons.a.I.S.Rong game show. Without further ado, let's get wrong.

Here is Junkston. Our here is the judge is a matter of camera copyback. To host and popular podcast, feature guns. And here's the last name with an NFL player slash double murderer. It's Steve Hernandez. Our next contestant is a co-host of the Hawk First Wolf Podcasts and the New York Times best-selling author Yet if I saw him walking towards me on the street I would cross to the other side Let's make a laugh for Jason Alice everybody Jason Alice Our last contest has been on Conan Comedy Central with her current character on Bojekhorsman and still suffers from depression

It's a part of my channel everybody It's a motherfucking j-y wine everybody Wrong a fucked up game show Hello hello make sure it's never been to wrong before There we go. Guys are the best answers so far. Congratulations to you too for being fucked up. You already understand how the show works.

Because on most game shows, we want the contestants to be right. Not here. We give points to our brave contestants when they are wrong. Let's get them wrong, everybody. What is this? Tepin' applause. This is fucking Jeopardy? No, this is career jeopardy. Suck it, Ken Jennings.

all right? We want them to be as wrong as walking in on your mom, fucking your uncle while your dad watches. That's what we're going for tonight, okay? Tonight these three will tell fucked up jokes wriggle their way out of uncomfortable situations and try and end the night with the most

points and the man in charge of those points. A man whose MFA in English has been collecting dust for over a decade. Tyler Mznorich, everybody. Thank you, thank you. It's actually worse than MFA. It's an MFA in humanity, so thank you very much. Nobody knows that he's including me.

Comedians. How are you all feeling? Panel, how's everybody feeling today? I feel pretty great. There's a few interracial couples out there. I'm loving that. I love that energy. We can make some noise for an irration.

My pregnant wife's right there. Oh. I love doing shows where the front row is empty. Those are the only shows I'll do. If anybody wants a prize right now, get an audience prize. You can come sit in the front row. We go. Look at these guys.

Smart. They're going to, they've already won prizes. We're going to win more prizes. We've got prizes. Tyler's going to give out some prizes right here. Right here, Jay, give it this. Oh, what do we got? This is the Ellen generous, the first thousand shows. That's for you. Congratulations. We got a couple more. This is Little Ellen. Little Ellen. Don't worry, guys. You guys have to share that one. Perfect. That's it.

He's going to put it in his son or your sauna? Sona. Okay, great. Put it in his son? And his sauna. He's going to be inside his son in the sauna. I think that's what we're getting it. Yeah, of course.

All right, guys. We got, Jay, how you feeling? Good. Perfect. Let's go ahead and get things going, shall we? We want to know, we're going to find out some more about our contestants in Minna, but we want to know some more about y'all, all right? because you were here, and you guys have some fucked up lives, too, just like all of us.

We want to know why we asked before the show started, who had a fucked up week? We have some hot week. I like that energy. Keep that energy up the whole show. I don't know if we have any more Ellen books to give away, but you're going to get them. We don't, but, yeah, keep it out still. We have three people who really intrigued us, and our comedians are going to guess who they think had the most fucked up week, who we want to hear a little bit more broadly. We have Chris, five words a week, or five words or less, why your week was fucked up.

Rancho Cucamonga. I so relate to that. If I ever go on a dating site and any girls from Rancho Cucamonger, it is an immediate left. I'm never going back, yo. We have Molly, in five words or less, why your week was fucked up. Aspern.

Not as fucked up as Rancho Cucamonga. Right? No, we're not. We also have Mikey. In five words or less, why is your week fucked up? Dick is numb from cycling. That's his fault, though, really. This is a good point.

Could have stopped pedaling at any time. And also, I actually think it'd be nice for my dick to be numb every now and then, okay? I'm tired of this thing ruling my life. Right? So relate to that. Thank you. Like some new shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like I cycled so hard, my dick is known. Yeah. Could be. Comics, who does you want to hear a little more about? Who do you think of the most bucked up week? Was it Chris from Rancho Cucamonga, Molly from an Aspern? Or Mikey, Dick is none from cycling. I don't want to hear a goddamn thing about Rancho Cucon.

Let's hear the Asper. Yeah, yeah. Asper. Asper. Molly, come on up here. Let's talk about her aspirin. Laugh for Molly, everybody. Laugh for Molly.

There I go. Molly. She's pretty pasty. I can see how that's achieved. Just saying, if you're arms of that pacy, your ass is going to be another level of white, you know? It's a bird. Is it in the hole?

You didn't tear a fucking hole to get energy. Hold on. Hold on. Okay. That's not really, no? I decided to don't film this. I decided to exercise. I was exercising.

I was exercising. I was wearing a song. I went rowing and I got rubburn from the song on my ass rack. Oh. Oh. That's all all okay. Rowing.

Rowing with a string across your pussy and your butt hole is a good idea. I mean, I don't have a pussy, but I got a butt hole. I don't think that would be the greatest pair of pants to row in. I wouldn't trust that. Yeah. Wait, so two people's worst weeks were exercising. related sex-orbitant injuries? These are sex-exercise-related injuries, sort of all the one.

Sexual, exercise exploits. It could be three. We don't know what happened in Rancho Cooca. Nobody walks out in Rancho Cooca. And we're never going to find out. Yeah. But here's the thing. We know Molly had the most bucked-up week out of the audience,

but do we think you are having a worse week than this blurry gentleman? Looks like he's in the middle. maybe getting held back from a fight do we think Molly had a worse week than this guy no no yeah I mean he's already you're on the street in an argument can you get any worse you know he's about to get punched or he's gonna get punched he looks like if you have a mask on or is that a real hit that's just that's a that's a full-on beard that is a beard I think we got two beards we got a head I like with two guys are friends that look the same like that

Yeah. I feel like somebody lied to him. They were like, it's prop top night, and then he's the only one you showed up wearing the clocktop. Yeah. Let's find out if Molly had a worse week than this guy. I don't trip on. It's going to get bad.

One shoe off already. That's a drunk guy. Oh, wow. Wow. I don't know. Just another night in rental. Make a noise for Molly, everybody. Yeah, Molly, as your prize, you get a combo.

You're going to get a free ticket and popcorn. Don't eat that popcorn until your ass is done burning, please. All right. We found out who in our audience is fucked up, and you have more chances to win prizes in the night goes on. Don't worry. But now it is time to find out what makes our comedian. fucked up, all right? So it is time to play our first round. Let's get fucked up. Now in this round,

the comedians are going to tell us their most fucked up jokes. That's what I've asked them to do, all right? Whatever that means to them, we're gonna find out. They could go dark. They could go dirty, but they will definitely be wrong. And to start things off, make it loud. For Steve Hernandez everybody. Laughing, sir. I've been watching, you know, we're at the movies. We're not at the fucking movie. It's great to be here.

Pretty eyes on you, sir. Shiny eyes on this guy. Check him out later, folks. My dad hates that I'm fat. It's the worst thing that's ever happened to him. We go to Chipotle. I buy this fucking guy a burrito. He mentioned portion control every time I hang out with him for the past 30 years.

He'll say, check this up, bear. I'm going to cut the burrito. Half half right now. I need the other half later. And I'm like, how about fuck you, dad? I paid for that burrito. Thanks, Jules. We go hiking together.

We go hiking together. I'm fat, but I'm in shape. Okay, we hike in Griffith Park. My dad's 65. Good-looking Mexican guy, but he's old, okay? 65. You met this kind of guy, kind of lethario, hates women, doesn't know it.

So we hike at Griffith Park. And I'm still beating him. I'm in shape. I'm in good shape. I'm fat. I'm in chick, okay? First off, it's not so bad to be fat. If you're fat and you look like me, you've got a dress like, you love hip hop. And I just like it, you know? It's a fun music, but it's not my life or anything. So I hike up this hill. I used to wait for him at different spots,

but then he would just say like, stop waiting for me. Just meet me at the top, meet me on the top. So I'm up there, and I'm waiting for this full. And then he finally gets there and he goes, oh, you must be loving this right now. And I go, you're an old man. This is doing nothing for me. And he goes, when you were little, you and your brother used to say, when you got big, you were going to beat me up. And I said, yeah, Dad, you used to beat us.

What the fuck did you think we were going to say? What did you expect from him? You want to know the most abusive thing my dad did? As when we got big enough to beat him up, that fool apologized. Come on, man. Are you for real? We can't fuck you up one time.

Danny, hold him. I would love to see my dad grimace in. paid one time from me fucking him up, right? I went down to San Diego last week, and have you guys ever gone down to San Diego in traffic? Have you ever done that? It's four or five hours. It's awful.

I said, not this time, okay? I'm going to go early. I'm going to go to the beach. I'm going to beat the traffic. I'm going to hang out San Diego, but I've never been to a beach in San Diego. So I asked on Instagram stories, hey, what beach should I go to in San Diego? And I had three people say, you should go to Black's Beach.

And I said, okay, I was a black speech. I don't know if you've been to Black speech before. But it's at the bottom of this fucking long-ass cliff. You got to walk a half mile down. I was looking, and I couldn't even tell if there was a beach down there. I saw an old white guy coming up. And I was like, hey, is there a beach down there? And he was like, yeah, there's a beach.

And I was like, why did that fool say that so ominously? I got down there and who's been to Black's Beach? If you guys don't know, Black's Beach is a nude beach. And I've never been, didn't know. Didn't know. This is how I found out. I looked to my right. There was a fat, old white guy with a cowboy hat on,

little last cock. I looked to my left, and there was a beautiful gay man fucking riff with the sweetest piece. You've ever seen a nice fucking piece on this guy. And I was like, well, I guess I'm going to be the middle Goldilocks bear. And so I got naked. Dude, it's glorious.

I don't know if you guys remember. I've been doing New Beach. It's incredible, man. I was fucking just hanging out. I was reading a book like this. The sun hitting my nuts for the first time, maybe ever. Is photosynthesis going down there? Because I was feeling bad. You know what I'm talking about? The sun hitting my nuts like that. That's incredible. If you don't know, gay guys, it's mostly gay guys at a nude beach. Straight guys, you got to start hanging out with fucking gay guys, man. They make you feel so sexy, all right? Any shape or size or size or whatever You feel sensual

You feel sexy around them A straight woman has never made me feel sexy In my goddamn life The only time a straight woman has ever had sex with me Is because she loves me and wants to connect Fuck that shit Are you for real? Fuck you, okay?

I want someone to use me for my body, okay? I'm queer, all right? I'm queer and sometimes I'm getting fucked so hard Just looking at a blank wall and I'm like, what did I do to end up here? This is so wonderful. And I bet this book forgot my name. And let me tell you something.

That's what you want. You want to get fucked for your body. You want the guy to forget your name. I want to get used for my holes, from my body, for my flesh, you know? Just getting rocked. Because that's kind of dirty I want to feel sometimes. You know, like after eating Burger King breakfast.

Seems like a good idea. And then later on, your stomach hurts. It's always okay, though. It's fine going down. There's more to that, but you guys have been great. I'm Steve Bernan. Thank you. Sandez, everybody.

That's a fucking powerful start. Incredible start, incredible, great stuff. Do you have any thoughts, any questions? I was just fucking fun. Then let's just keep moving right along. Your next comic under the stage. Ready to get fucked up. It is Jason Ellis.

Jason Elles! All right, let's get fucked up. So a friend of mine asked me, would I rather get a hand job, a good hand job for my grandmother or a bad hand job for my grandmother. And I was like, well, you got to, that's rape, you know? And I'm allowed to jog about rape if I was raped.

So relax, everybody. I went to therapy, I'm okay. But I would say, because I've been raped, it's supposed to be dark, right? What the fuck? This is on them. This is not on you. Dog jokes.

Can't get me dark in the rape jokes, right? I got rapes. I feel like I'm in the clear. Few times, actually. A couple people. Pretty cute, apparently. But I was thinking you should definitely get a good hand job as a guy that has been raped

several times. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I I never came and I regret it, you know. At least I could have got out of it is a load, you know? That's my dark joke. Got more about being gay. I don't really feel like it's that dark. It's quite delightful, really.

Kind of inspiring. Because I'm pretty straight, obviously, you know. But I took a lot of drugs one time and this guy was like, let me suck your dick. And I was like, sure. How bad could it be, you know? Turns out it was really good. And I was like, maybe it was for drugs.

So I got another guy to blow me not on drugs. And son of a gun. That was good too. I'm straight, you know what I mean? So that's confusing. So then I got that app grinder. My wife told me about it.

I didn't even know about it. So yeah, I got grinder. And then people just come over to suck your dick. You don't even have to say anything. I don't even know if you have to be alive. they just come over and suck it and then they leave saying thank you I'm like I didn't do anything

I mean I did one thing you know but yeah they keep they'll come over because it's pretty convenient you know what I mean like apart from not being gay that's that's tough road that's a tough bump but apart from that it's pretty much convenient you know because I like to come

and gay guys want to suck it out you know what can't we make Or can't we synergize? It's dark, right? So yeah, one time this guy's sucking me off, and he goes, hey, man, won't you butt fuck me? I feel like this is weird in the mold. That doesn't go out that door, does it?

The sound kind of ends about three-quarters of the way to the door, probably. Nobody getting a coffee or buying some sneakers. He just heard me say that. So, yeah, this guy's like, won't you butt-fuck me? He said it in a gay way, but I'm not gay, I don't talk like that. And I was like, fuck that, like that's so gay, no way, you know. But he was, I'm a nice guy, you know. He was working it, it's working it.

Sometimes it's hard, jizz, you know. And this guy was working hard. And I was like, man, how bad could it be? The but fucking guy. Turns out, that's pretty good too. I'm kind of confused as to what the big fucking thing is about fucking dudes. It's pretty cool. You should try it.

You know, you don't have to be gay. I'm not. So yeah, I just... But dude, it's pretty cool. But anyway, I was fucking dudes having a good time. And this one time I was smoking this dude. And he was having more fun than me. And I was like, maybe I should get buffed.

So it's a lot. Sorry, I've got to go, but... Jason Ellis, everybody. All right, well, let's see if we can have a third comic and stole the virtues of gay sex. Make it loud for Parna and Cherla. Okay, so, um,

surprise, surprise. My stuff is not quite as spicy, but, um... Ah, Parna. It's our first round, everybody. We have gotten fucked up. We talked about fucking, fucking an existential dread in that order.

Which I think is a great sign of a great first round. We have Tyler. He's been keeping track of the since the very beginning of the show and after this first round we got a close game I think Tyler tell us what we got absolutely everyone got full points that stand-up round as excellent very dark funny now let's keep you track of points as we're doing the little beginning so we've kind of explained that a little bit so right now Steve the third place seven our points Jason second place of nine hundred points and apart us the first place is one thousand points

now it is early in the night there's a lot of room for anybody to take the wing here but let's go ahead move on to our next round in tweet. So, how this round works, everybody. We have all said some crazy shit on social media, and thankfully, most people forget about it, except for our crack team of researchers.

They've dug up some wild posts from everyone's past, and we are going to make them guess which tweet was actually theirs. I know this is a little bit of a, of a, of a, of a, icy situation. I don't want anyone to feel too uncomfortable, so as always,

We're going to start with one of my tweets And I never know what they are And I was worried every Every single fucking time Okay Decker cut out, perfect time I used to date this girl Who blank

7.08 p.m. July 5th, 2016 Three likes. Kept it up. Kept it up. Really, really? Like, this is the prime of my Twitter game. I don't know what was going on. I'm saying.

excited to see what our options potentially are here. I used to see this girl who made me keep my glasses on during sex because she had a king for Milhouse. Everything's coming up Milhav. I used to name this girl who had a pussy like a stack of pancakes, golden brown, and two syrupy. I used to date this girl who thought I looked Jewish except for my lips. I never noticed my lips look uncircumcised.

I should have a chapstick on it. I've been looking at these things the whole show. I think I know which one it is, but I want you all to guess first so you can get a couple extra points early on. The last one is the funniest, and you're a funny guy, so I'm going to go with that one. Okay, I hope that's, I hope you're the three people who like this suite. I hope all go got that one. Apparno, what do you think? I was also actually going to go with this one, but if you want to teach to pick a different one, I could pick a different one.

No, pick a 20-50. All right, I'm going to go for Licks. Three. Also, I agree with them. I feel like it's that one, because I did date. one Jewish woman and that's all I got for it. No, I was wrong!

This must have been when you were still drinking, huh? Honestly, unfortunately, I was about a year sober when I tweeted this. But maybe the pussy was while I was drinking. I don't know who this could be.

Was it sticky? It must have been. I think I fucked Mrs. Butterworth. Let's move on. You can sit, you can stand, however you like. What's going on here? Did this just go again? Say it again, you were go.

There we go. All right. Steve, tweet it. September 30th, 2012. Chicago is full of blank. No likes, no retweets. We didn't even crop it out. This is back for love of the game right here.

This one used to do it like a diary. Yeah. You've been a racist, are you? Yeah. I don't know. I think I remember what it says. No, watch. What were you, at this time in your life, what would, like, September 30th, 2012, 4.13 p.m.

Yes. Were you, you, you're in Chicago? I'm in Chicago. What might you be doing in Chicago, you remember? You know, it was for sure a pasty white woman. Every time I go, I meet a new woman. It's a city. It's never happened to me anywhere else.

I'm not some kind of crazy lithario, but every time at a show, I meet some babe. and I'm just sacking them at this point. Chicago is full of comedia. So I think this is my first trip to Chicago, and it is my favorite city in America. Let's see if we can find out why, based on Steve's Sweden.

Now, remember, if you think you know the correct answer, don't say it until after Jason and a partner, yes. Chicago is full of deep-dish pepperoni nipples. I feel like this one's a strong controller. I mean, so. Chicago is full of normal sized women. He would never say that. Yeah, that's very body negative.

He's not looking for that. Chicago is full of lesbians and Asian. I thought you said you want a racist. It's got to be the person. I truly have no idea now. Yeah, it feels like it's saying that there are no Asian lesbians. Yeah, I wouldn't say that. That's a good, I mean, that's a good point.

Steve could be blind to the age. Asian lesbian community at 2012. A partner? Jason, which one do y'all think it is? I'm throwing pepperongy nipples. Me too. Even though we're both wrong so far, but. Yeah, that's true.

You did not say Asians. What are you saying? Yeah, I don't. I have to believe out of those three that I said B, the second one. Oh. Chicago is full of. Normal type.

Normal size? Oh. If I'm saying those three, if that I have to believe that, then that's the one you said. I hope I said the, be fish dipples thing. No, you said normal size women.

You also did reference Lesbian for a different tweet. 2012 in the morning. That's great. But also, but also you're right, I'm not thinking of all the Asian lesbians. Again, I keep leaving them out of my life. That's a great tweet. That is a great tweet. We couldn't pick that tweet, but we could pick the normal size women one.

Yeah. Which nobody liked. It's not that great. And so, you know what? I was just in Chicago. I get it. Yeah. All right. Not enough people go to Chicago. Go eat some hot dogs at one in the morning. Why not? All right? Let's move on to Jason Ellis, everybody.

I've never made a bad tweet. Figure skating and not being a gay dude is like blank. 13 retweets. No likes. But a lot of people agreed with what you were saying, even if they didn't like what you were saying. Yeah. I mean, I agree with them. I don't know what I'm talking about This is, by the way, the oldest tweet we have ever pulled for the show

Oh, you bastard This is so not fair I was so angry then I like hated rollerblading and stuff This is gonna be, man, this is gonna make me look bad Man Let's see your options I remember if you think you know which one it is

Don't say it I don't Figure skating and not being a gay dude Is like being a slave owner But like a nice slave owner If you try and say that I said that? Fingers skating and not being a gay dude is like visiting Neverland Ranch and not getting butt-fucking by Michael Jackson. I think we're getting warmer.

Projector stops overheaten. Finger skating and not being gay dude is like finger skating and not being a gay dude. Oh. Farnassim, which one do you all think it is? I hope it's B. My money's on B, the second one. Okay? My money's also on B. All right.

Okay. It's the last one. Oh, yeah. It looks like it looks like it. rollerblading I was very angry it's a long story they tried to take over skateboarding I was mad I was mad sorry but this isn't really even seen it yeah yeah it's not angry it's just sort of anti-humor like neo hamburger it's 2010 I got better it's just a style it's not bad all right let's move on to a Parnas tweet now Parna

Twitter ever again, thanks. A part of the most successful tweeter we've ever had on in tweetment, Tom Hanks is a fan of your tweets. This is the worst I've ever felt. But let's see one of these tweets.

Hit it. I wish that instead of apologizing, you could blank. 38 retweets. Two quote tweets. 149 likes. Do you have any idea what you were doing at 11.09 a.m. on December 19, 2014. Nothing good, I'm sure.

All right, let's see some options. I wish that instead of apologizing, you could start a small to medium fire and run away. I wish that instead of apologizing, you could tell people today is brought to you by my period. You're better at Twitter than me. I think it's that one. I wish that instead of apologizing,

you could have Bill Cosby. these lawyers take care of them now if you change your mind don't tell us quite yet aparna okay steve and jason are going to get a chance to guess which one do you all think it is uh i've been following a partner for a long time i to not go with her the first one does sound a lot like about a parna too i like the first one i'm gonna go with that all right jason what about you you go the second one because i cheated i'm paying attention a parna which one do you think do you know which one it is the second one is ringing It should ring a bell because that is the real tweet.

I can't wait to get a prize. All right, and that's a tweetman, everybody. That's doing on getting to a prize. All right now, Steve's in third place with nine points. Jason, second place with four zero points. And apart on first place with 1,500 points. Oh, shit. Keeping it close, keeping it tight.

Let's go ahead and move on to our next round. It's time to play. Whose front is it anyway? This is the game where every to toe. Go ahead and they make that splatter. Now for the first time in the history of our entire show, all of our contestants have photos and profiles on Wiki feet and we thought we would commemorate the occasion. Wow, really? Let's take a look. Aparna! That is your foot. That's from a tweet that you tweeted about your foot riding the subway. Oh weird. I make those shoes or pants. This is a different time? Yeah, or I use the body double. Jason's also on Twitter.

WikiPeteet men You got that's a separate night. Five stars. Very good feet. 4.8, 4 out of 5. Fantastic feet. See the top part.

We'll see how the night goes. We also have we don't have Steve's feet exactly, but Steve's wife is on WikiPete. Okay, Pete. Steve's feet are so bad, they're completely blurred out.

Wow. They're that offensive? You have dick toes? something? Wow, as usual, the standard for women's feet a lot more unrealistic. But we're going to show off some celebrity feet. You see their page on WikiFeat, and we are going to have each of y'all guests and see if you can figure out who it is and what their score out of five is on WikiPeed. So let's start off with this foot. Dang, that's a one. Man, that shit looks like him. He had pubes coming out of these tons.

It looks like, yeah, it looks like there's some sort of a Merkin situation going on down there. Looks like you kicked a Merkin with those shoes on. Man, that is offensive. I'm supposed to guess who the celebrity is that has that foot? We got some options for you. Oh, okay. Is it? Brendan Shaw.

Brendan Frazier. Or Richard Branson. Brendan Shaw. M.M.A. Fighters have ugly feet. It's a good answer. Oh, I didn't know who that was. I just take his answer as well. Piggyback. Go right along.

Okay. Do you have the choices again? Brendan Shaw, Brendan Frazier, or Richard Branson. I guess we'll go shop, too. Indeed, it is. Brendan Shaw. Oh, wow.

But far away, it looks okay. That's what she said. All right, and to earn some extra points out of five, what do we think Brendan Schaub's feet had scored on Mickey Pete. I said a one. I guess I'll... You're gonna stick with a one? I'll go a two because they probably know his main as maim. What do you think, Steve?

I'll go one. We got a one, we got a two. I'm gonna go two and a half because I'm guessing there's some worse ones on there. Good point. Let's find out. Brennan Chubb actually has 4.8 out of five. You're beating him by just 0.04. I'll take it. Whatever it takes. All right, let's move on to our next option as I drop my card all over the place. Are these feet belonging to Allie Wong, Brenda Song or Tommy Chong? Wong Song Chong. I'm sorry if that group makes you feel left out skiing.

Say the choice of me? Allie Wong, Brenda Song, Tommy Chong. Who do these feet belong to? Let's go for two, Brenda. We got an Allie Wong, we got a Brenda song. I'm gonna go for All right, we got two for Alley Wong, one for Brenda song. The answer is, those are Alley Wong's feet. Now this is not on our best foot day, but what do we think her score is out of five overall?

They're gonna tag it for the d'ut and whatever the hell the rest of that is that's stuck there. So I'm gonna say, because they get shot of five and they were disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. It has to be a three and a half. I want to go four and a half. Three and a half, four and a half. I heard somebody yell out, who yelled out five?

Just out of nowhere, out of the audience. Does anyone think they can guess? Does anyone in the audience for an audience prize right now? Won a guess? What are you thinking about to get it right? Anybody? Any takers? Two, four, fourteen.

Four. Four. Four. Four. 4.8, we'll take a 4.8. Any other takers? Is the easiest question ever. You just yell out a number and you get a proof. 6, 5, 4.9. Let's see the correct answer. Beautiful. Bullshit. I don't think my feet are that good either now.

I know, this is the fucked up thing about WikiPete is that for men, they have a number score and then women just, ah, these are beautiful feet. And they're not. They're like long arches. I'm not into it. I don't just give out. Tyler's going to give out a couple. We'll figure out who gets it. We'll figure it out. Let's go ahead and move on to our final set of feet from what you beat. Whoa. Is that a baby? Wow. I will say I had to crop these feet specifically out of the image because otherwise you would have known whose sweet they were. Okay, so that's cropping. They don't have sharp toes. They don't have sharp toes. They don't have weird skin tags coming off the side of here. That's just, My bad photoshopping, everybody. Are these feet belonging to Meatloaf, vanilla ice, or carrot top?

Meatloat, nobody ever got underneath Beetlo's feet. Got to be carrot top. Yeah. I'm going to say carrot top. Yeah, they're pink as fucked. And every time you take a photo of carrot top, he tries to put his stupid head in it at his biceps. So that's what he had to cut out of the photo.

Do we think it's carrot top, audience? Do we think it's carrot top? Let's see, it is indeed! Told you there's his stupid head again. His tax are not on deck today. What do we think he got for his foot score? Got a five. This is the most rigged thing ever.

It's stupid. Five. Everyone gets a five. Fucking bullshit. How do you get a two? You have like one fucking toe left on your foot? I think so. I mean, these are the degenerates on the internet ranking this.

So they give you whatever they want. It would put a whole lot of trust in the WikiFee. comment section Jason I think it's probably okay give his crunch of one that's the show oh yeah look at that look at that slice right there no thank you who three and a half three and a half five I'm gonna say four and a half four and a half anyone else from the audience anybody beautiful feet beautiful feet let's find out we got a five in the back pee three point five makes no sense that is some bonus maybe it was a

deduction for the sandals underneath. There was also a set. We had to crop this out, too. There was a second set of feet in the photo. He just added extra feet just because he's trying to boost his score. That did work. Piece of shit. You got to get that guy, you guys.

We got to get that guy. All right, let's all drive to Vegas after the show tonight and go fuck up Caratop's feet. What did you say? Yeah. Nobody's on board with this? It's too hot. I get it. There we go. That's my Australian's in the pro row. it is too hot

and so I put it out to Steve earlier Steve you don't know a wiki feet can we take a picture of your feet right now I said absolutely not

but you can't take a picture with my shoes on so we're going to take a picture right now feet feet feet feet feet feet feet feet feet

feet feet feet feet feet feet feet we're going to get this on we're going to have you a wiki feet page by Monday you guys really wanted

I told Jay if people were into it he would take his shoe off and we would take a real foot picture. So we'll see if we get the chance going. How do you guys feel about that? If you guys feel it, he'll do it.

Tap it, Jay. Don't want to see those feet. I foot it somebody in the assy other day. You put it somebody assy other day. You guys got to try that too. It's pretty cool. You have to loop up too much beforehand. Yeah, you got to put it on special loop. It's like it's real white grease and stuff.

Yeah, it's pretty crazy. But it works good. Can you get that at Shoe Palace? You get it at the fissing shop. They got a whole shop now. Oh, they got a section. The fissing shop. I thought you said the fishing shop at first. And I was like, what the fuck is in the temple?

You could probably get something there, too. Probably good. I guess nobody's seen my feet. Thank God. But we know what we are going to see is a word from our sponsor real quick. Make a laugh for our sponsor. You weren't to you in a talk date on my space. Your aunt was your only planned on Facebook.

You know what? and tweeted you on Twitter. No one like your post on Instagram. Most nights, you go to bed, hate you will die alone. Threads, this time it'll be difficult. Thank you for our sponsor, Threads, everybody. Quick and dirty.

Tyler, how is everybody doing in the points? Oh, wow, it's got a lot closer. Steve's in third place, 2,100 points. Jason, second place with 2,300 points, and a partner, still in the league, 4,400 point. Ooh! That is close.

These contestants are doing great. I hope y'all are staying cool. We're about to get hot with our next round. The discomfort zone. Ooh. Ah, yeah, we'll take... Save your energy, all right? Save it for the laughs.

You don't got a clap. We've done some very heavy research on all of our contestants. You've heard a little bit about them over the course of the show. But now we've got one uncomfortable question. tailored to each of you. And your job is to answer in the funniest, wrongest way possible. So let's go ahead and get things started with.

Steve Hernandez, everybody. Steve. Thanks, guys. I needed that. You are now in the discomfort zone, Steve. So you've mentioned this in your set. You're a bisexual man. We found this wonderful clip of you

from a web series. you're my boy you like it when i call you my boy yeah this is a comedy too cool i'm a big fan in the back i think somebody who recognized you now you also have a past as a youth pastor i'm that's right that's right of the lords yeah Steve used to be the host of a couple podcasts about Christianity, religion, who's your God, and read the Bible with me. Wait.

Is that you? Yeah, that's true. That's real. That is real. Wait, are you like, are you telling the goats where to go? Why do you think I look so happy with those goats? Not much to do out there.

Now, our question for you, we felt it would be best to combine both of your spheres of knowledge here. Felt you would know better than anybody. Which Jesus would be worth fuck Mary killing. But of course it's Jesus, so it's Buck Mary Crucified. Willem to Foe. Jim Cabezil or Slink Johnson. We can get some visual references here.

Slink Johnson is, of course, Black Jesus. If Jim Cabo Beezer will him to foe. Fucking Mary Sling. Look at that smile. That's beautiful gorgeous. When you bring that full to a Christmas party?

You know, everyone's happy to see you guys. You know what I mean? Me and my beautiful black cheeses. Fuck, Willem DeFoe, are you fucking crazy?

Have you seen the piece on that guy? He's weird, too. You know, you just want to fuck. You want to fuck, and you want to look him in the eyes. the first time I had sex

with a guy, he fucked me missionaries just like I was fucking that guy and I had never even thought that two guys could do that it was so weird he just threw his legs over my my legs over his shoulder fucking jarring

okay fuck the shit out of Willemdefo for sure and fuck this piece of shit Jim Caviesel anti-Semitic fucking QAnonon motherfucker I'll fucking nail the spikes myself, okay? I'll get each hand, and then they cross them together at the bottom of,

Bha! Broke the ankles like that? Yeah, I'll do it twice, fuck. You can get Sound of Freedom playing right here, the Alamo draftouts. Empty theater. Sold out empty theater. Fuck him. Fuck him, marry him, kill him.

Yes. There we go. That's Steve Hernandez. Fuck, Mary Crucifying. Yay. Yay. Now, you are a man who we, as we learned in researching you and your body of work, it's not a whole lot that you're not, it doesn't seem like a whole lot makes you uncomfortable. You talk about a whole bunch of shit. We found this great clip from... My best shit about tweaking is jerking off.

Stand up on the spot. Sometimes the problem is if you tweak before you jerk it and you're super high, I'm mad. I can't believe I know all this. ended up good to admit it right now i had a little pocket of fucking uh smoking the glass thing if you don't get hard before you party then you just have like this mushed up thing and you won't let it go either you will just fucking nah it's gonna pop up any minute now i've done it where i've just had a fucking flaccid swollen fucking just beat i'm just like come on man come on just get a little harder so it can come you're willing to talk about stuff

At least it's not a video I'd be getting buttpub. That's what I thought about, that's for sure. We could not find a video if you get butt butt butt. We did talk... We got my only pants. It's there. We gotta get that in the budget, deserve, subscribe when people's only pants. We did also find this video about you talking about stuff you talked about tonight, getting raped, getting molested. I've been molested when I was a kid.

On Logan Paul's podcast. So I feel like I have that thing. People see it. It's easy to read. Like, people have... Guys have tried to take me from school before. I've been molested. by a couple people when I was like really young, babysitter and then my dad as well. But I had, I didn't recollect it until I was 23 and I took a bunch of acid and some speed.

And after a skateboard demo, I had the hotel pool. I wouldn't get out. So my girlfriend at the time just let me stand in the pool. And I had it apparently also wasted. I had an imaginary friend. An imaginary friend told me that my father molested me. That's whoever asked what's happening in the back comedy. That's what's happening right now.

That was funny shit, right? Now we also did find one thing you don't seem to like, for sure. You mentioned this earlier. You have a big problem with rollerbladers. I don't anymore. It's just a... You didn't have a whole chapter. I'm bad again.

I had to apologize to this guy. I'm awesome called Fucky Rollerbladers. I check this out from the Los Angeles Public Library to read this chapter. Some choice quotes here. I should point out here that I hate rollerbladers. There's no other reason on earth to strap on rollerblades. I guarantee you, I will disown my children

if I so much as catch them looking at Nileys. That's not a human being. You're reformed on rollerbladers, and you've opened up about your past and getting molested, but we do have a really important question. Wait, man, I'm not enough. Come on. Which do you hate more?

Rollerbladers are getting molested. Is that allowed? Well, man, that's tough. I mean, honestly, I feel like at this point, I can take another raping. You know? I don't feel like I'd have to like go to therapy. I'd be like, ah, fuck, you know? That was a bummer.

But I mean, I've got a lot of good things going on in my life. It'd be hard to... I mean, I'm not... Sorry, not Rollerblade. Oh man, you're not. No, just small, it's good exercise. Wait, I don't have to roll a blade, right? No, no, no, no, it's just which one of them you hate more.

Okay, I hate rape. Controversial stance. Space Nelt hates Rui. That was tough, you guys. And that's what the discomfort zone's all about, everybody. Healing. Let's move on to Aparna Nancher. Aparna.

We found out that you almost joined the military. I did, yeah. You almost went to West Point, the Army Academy, the Military Academy. This is a direct quote from you on NPR. I like that we're ending on NPR. I feel like it's very on brand. It's really edgy stuff. I think the simplest way to say it is I grew up during the Gulf War.

I fully was brainwashed by military propaganda. And in such way that was like, I have to say, my country. Serve, serve. To serve my country, excuse me. And then we had this other quote from the Washington Post, which talks about a party.

You developed an impassioned patriotism writing letters to soldiers during the Gulf War. Yeah, I wrote one letter. What's the letter? This is why I don't talk to the media. Because I wrote one single letter. Do you remember what was in the letter that you sent?

Yeah, it was like to a Navy ship, and I was just like, hey, Hi, I'm a kid. Hi. I mean, I was like, thank you for your service. And then they mail you back like a photo, and they're like, I work on this boat, and here's a badge, and you're a cadet now or whatever.

Yeah. Yeah. Now, military propaganda worked on you for a time, right? So now I want you to imagine that you are a member of the military propaganda machine. Remember the military industrial complex? Okay. I'd like you to come stand up here, and please. convince this audience to join the military.

Okay. I would just like to start by saying, fuck you all, and I wish you were all dead, and I just feel like the quickest way to do that and the most honorable way is through military service. Thank you so much.

A part on Angelou, everybody. Wow, you really did your research, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I found out that you might die. It's a good reason to get over there. Now, Tyler, how's everybody doing after the discomfort's own round? Still very close. Right now, Steve's still in third place, $200 points.

And Jason and O'Carta are tied with 3,000 points. Tied for first place. I feel like he gave him extra points. An audience member wanted to hug him. That's how wrong people are. I feel like that's fair. And you got a prize already, right? what's your name then?

Perry. Let's get Perry a few points. How bad? Perry got the points. Good job, Perry. Way to go, empathy. You got it. Now, we obviously have had a lot of

of fucking things said and done up here tonight, all right? Caused some confusion from people who just wanted to come see Barbie. That sucks. The Barbie box that everybody takes pictures with is right there. I know.

You got to hear about child rape if you want to get your pictures taking with the girls. Yeah. That's my bad, you guys. We want you to make sure, look, we want you to come back, we want you to tell your friends about us, and that's why we're going to get out of here on a nice note.

We're going to cleanse everybody's palates with a pallet cleanser joke, everybody. Now, this is our final round, and this is our chance. Anything can happen. We could have somebody take it all in this round, all right? But you've got to ask for your chance to go double or nothing on your points. Or do you want to play it safe?

If you think your joke is going to make this audience go, oh yeah, that's clean, that's wholesome, who do you think is going to have the best clean, wholesome joke? If you feel like you've got the best one, I say go double or nothing. If you want to play it a little safe, potentially keep coming out on top, play it safe. Go for it.

But let's start out with you, Steve. You're in third place. Do you want to play it safe or risk at all? I'm going to play it safe, Jay. All right. See, he's playing it safe. Got another joke about hogs and balls, just ready, waiting in the chamber. Really?

Jason, what are you going to show? I mean, I've never said a nice joke in my life, but I'm ready to do it right now. You ready to risk it all? Let me just say, fuck it before I get G-rated. Yeah. All right. Wait. I can't think of anything to say in the stars.

Aparno, what about you? You're gonna go for it? You're gonna, you're playing it today. I think I'm gonna risk it at all. I'm almost doing the military. That's a great point. All right, well, let's go and start things off. Steve Hernandez.

Palet cleans us. Makes noise for Steve, everybody. I like hanging out of bars like this, these bars with like these big long tables. Have you guys ever been at the bar with like 10 of your friends, one of these long tables, and everyone's drunk

and you start debating something? And then the dumbest point, person in your group takes your side? Have you ever had that happen? And you're like, oh, man, I'm probably wrong. That's how God has to feel about most evangelical Christians, right? God's got to be like, oh, man, if this guy believes in me, maybe I don't exist.

Hernandez, everybody. Man, that was a good. I don't know if you should play it safe, but we're going to find out what happened. with Jason and a partner starting with Jason Ellis everybody who first of all did you guys know that butterflies taste with their feet isn't that adorable I think it is okay cool

I was a butterfly I would taste with my feet but before I taste it stuff I would ask other butterflies If it was okay, if I could share with the butterflies. Because I don't want to be a root butterfly. All right. Okay, one time. My son was his little boy. He was in the backyard, naked, running around with these dogs,

Boston Terrier. And Boston Terri is a real licky dog. And my son just was like a bit tired. He bent over for a second. and my dog licked him behind him and my son didn't move and I went out there and I was like hey and he was like oh and then I went back inside to like recalibrate what I was going to say about him and the dog doing that and then when I came back out to talk to him about it he was already back in the pool swimming like it didn't happen he forgot that he just recently had a dog lick his bottom

Isn't that adorable? Jason Ellis, everybody. I'm going to lose. I feel like we know if you're a butterfly and you taste with your feet, you taste the inside of an asshole. We just learned that. You put a whole put up somebody's ass.

There you go. Let's close things out. Aparna Natchurla, here to cleanse our palate. Make a lot for Parna. Okay, so I went to the Crystal store recently. Anyone else trying to solve your life with rocks? I went to the Crystal store and I was sold this bracelet. I was told it's a self-acceptance bracelet.

If I wear it, I will accept myself more. Except the problem is the bracelet keeps getting caught on my arm here. So I don't know about accepting myself, but it feels like the bracelet simply is not accepting me. And that's sort of just like a fun joke you could do at your book club or as a light. icebreaker, I will be selling this just one bracelet after the show that resonated with you and you do in fact read. Thank you so much. Oh, pocketed out of the end. Sherlock. All right, wall audience, Tyler is taking a break from points counting. Now it comes all down to you. We are going to go and you're going to make some noise

for everything had the cleanest, most wholesome joke, whoever joke you laughed at the most out of that round for being clean. We're going to see what happens. Do you think? The clean The greatest most awesome joke came from a porn on Anshirlo. Do you enjoy the palette cleansing styles of Jason Ellen? And how do we feel about the joke told by the Queen King Steve Hernandez? It's fucking tight. I think because Steve didn't risk at all. I think it's got to go to Jason.

I think it's got to go to Jason, folks. Really? I mean, that butterfly could be a new closer, Jason. I could be a new closer, Jason. That could be the end of my career. Let's go one more time between the people. Let's make it definitive, alright? You only get one vote.

We're gonna keep it tight, one vote. Steve Hernandez. Jason Ellis. What they won. Jake, had done. Melania, friendship with the first lady. I should mention, all prizes were found in a free book giveaway on a street corner in Santa Monica.

I will read this. Second prize, inspired by another guy who always come second. It's Homeland by George Obama. Barack Obama's Nigerian half-Bromba. Obama. George Obama. Seriously. And our grandparents.

My grandpriots. Claudia Trump. I'm actually happy I got second. Yeah, yeah, truly. Fuck that boy. But yeah, I'm definitely going to learn a lot from this. Make it loud for Steve Hernandez. Jason Ellis and a part of an intro,

everybody. This has been wrong. If you liked what you saw tonight, please tip the comics. You can digitally tip them where you're going to pass around the wrong tip bucket. Thank you so much for coming out. Stay wrong. We'll see you next time.

Stay cool, everybody. If you got a ticket, just couldn't grab me. I'll give it to you. I trust you.