WRONG! A Fucked Up Game Show - #9 – LESS DEAF AND MORE AUTISTIC (ft. Hayden Kristal, J. Chris Newberg, Nathan Hurd)

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

Recorded live at Alamo Drafthouse DTLA, 11/17/2023.OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS: Hayden Kristal, J. Chris Newberg, Nathan HurdSUPPORT THE SHOW AND ACCESS FULL VIDEO EPISODES ON PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/wronggameshow⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠COME SEE US LIVE:⁠⁠⁠12/16 @ Alamo Drafthouse, 8 PM Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello folks, welcome to another podcast edition of Wrong, a fucked-up game show. I'm your host, Jay Light, and in this episode, we teach you how to fight with your family around the holidays. Recorded live at Alamo Draft House DTLA on November 17, 2023, this show's contestants were Hayden Crystal, Jay Chris Newberg, and Nathan Hurd. If you'd like to help support the show and get full access to the video episodes, subscribe on Patreon at patreon.com slash wrong game show. Please follow us on all the socials at Wrong Game Show. And of course, the best way to experience the show is live. That way, you won't miss a second of the action. Our last show for the year is in Los Angeles at Alamo Draft House on December 16th.

That is next Saturday. You can get tickets at beacons.ai slash wrong game show. And without further ado, let's get wrong. Live from Aladraft House here in downtown Los Angeles, it's wrong. A fucked up game show! Let's make a laugh for your host It's Jenny motherfucking love Hi, wow

Oh wow We did it We're here, we made it We're at Alamo Draft House everybody Thank you so much for coming To Ron Hi Hey

Hey make some noise for my man over in the corner Tyler Meznerich My man, he's a Hey everybody Hey, I'm gonna Scorekeeper extraordinaire announcer Tyler, how are you? I'm good

I've been relegated to being off stage I know We've been dealing with a lot of... This is probably the most wrong start too wrong that we have ever had. This is the most fucked up opening to our fucked up game show that we've ever had. We didn't,

we almost didn't have this. We need this. You're gonna see, who's never been to wrong before? You're gonna learn soon. We need this. We need every inch of this. If we didn't have this, we wouldn't have a goddamn thing.

This is a This is a show that you need to be able to see things in order to understand what's going. We almost couldn't see anything, Tyler. It's true. And you know, it's crazy. That whole bus, the whole bus of people that were going to sit in the front row, they died on the way here. Can you believe that? I know.

It's so fun. By the way, if anybody comes and sits in the front row, we have prizes for the first audience members to come sit in the first two rows in honor of the people who died in the bus on the way over here. Rest and peace. Come on forward. Rest in peace. sit in their souls. They will follow you home like it's the haunted mansion ride at Disneyland. We got some. We got some. The guys who've never been to the show before, this is perfect.

Tyler is going to give you all some prizes. Tyler, Tyler, tell them what they won. Well, it's a very appropriate. I just got these, a lot of these prizes I will find on the streets of Los Angeles and people have given away. This is the ghosts of Orange County. Here you go. Ghosts of Orange County. Appropriate. And Hollywood Obscura, Death, Murder, and the Paranormal Aftermath. All so appropriate. There you go. Jay, back to you.

Thank you. Congratulations, y'all. And by the way, you can still get some audience prizes. We give audience prizes out the whole show, so you've got time. You can still come make your way up here. But let's go ahead and get things going, shall we? This is a fucked-up game show. And most game shows, you want the person

on stage or competing to do things right. Not here. Not here. Don't read in the middle of the fucking show. Come on, dude. This is not the time. Drink your stout and stop looking at the pretty pictures in the picture book. I don't give a shit about the ghosts of orange.

I'm throwing that over there, all right? Your prize privileges have been revoked. Tyler, don't give it back to him. Don't you dare. Don't you test me. All right? I couldn't even tie my tie. I don't, I think this is, I think I've looked

the most unhinged I've ever looked hosting this show. It's true. I feel like I'm gonna, I don't know what's going on. Let's move on. I ask Jay, I asked Jay before the show. I'm like, have you seen the new show The Curse? I said no. I'm working on Master Chef right now.

We have a witch who's going to be part of the cast and I think I have been cursed by her. I think that's what's going to happen. Don't tell anybody. If you're watching on the camera, that didn't happen. Nobody knows what's going on. All right, folks, we have, let's get things started.

We're going to introduce our comics, and we're going to find out what they think is fucked up. With a round we call, let's get fucked up. Look at that. This is great. The sound, you don't need the sound cue to last for very long. We really don't. We have three of the best comics from in the city

and outside the city coming to tell you stuff tonight. We're going to play games with them a little bit later, but for now, we're going to find out what they think is fucked up. I have asked each of them to prepare a short set of their most fucked up jokes. They might be dark, they might be dirty, but they're definitely going to be wrong. We're going to find out what they all think is fucked up.

So let's go ahead and introduce your first comic coming to the stage, coming to us all the way from Pueblo, Colorado. A former zookeeper, an avid horse girl, the only polls this comic rides is in their exercise class. Give it up for Hayden Crystal, everybody. Hayden Crystal! Totally kidding. Not about the sign language.

That part is real. I know this is wrong, but I wouldn't do that to you guys. This is an almost empty game show in an Alamo draft house, right? This isn't like Nelson Mandela's funeral. This is important to me. I am really hard of hearing.

Sign language is my first language. I do my sets in English for a couple of reasons. Number one, the jokes seem to go better. Yeah, you guys did not fucking like that first one at all. This one's going better. But secondly, I don't want to be pigeonholed. Do you know what I mean? I don't want to just be known as like a deaf comedian, right? I really just want to be known as like a female comedian.

Thank you. I'm glad to replace the woman that dropped out. But I do like to start my sets that way because it does make heckling me an ADA violation. So you guys are on notice. We can go ahead. A fun fact about me is I have four dogs. The older three are all deaf. I've got a fucking brand to maintain. Number three, out of the four, is objectively my favorite. She's the best one. She was born totally deaf and totally blind.

So she was born without eyes. So she is what's considered a base model, Australian Shepherd. People think she's creepy looking because she was born without. She's just got little pink sockets where her eyeballs should be. But I don't think she, it's all a matter of perspective. Like to me she just looks like I made it like most of the way through a build of bear. You know what I mean? That party wrapped up a little bit early, but we still had fun.

She's very cute. Her name is Roomba. She runs around my house sucking up little bits of stuff until she hits something and heads off in another direction. L.A. is not the audience for these dog roast shows. They say good comedy should punch up, and there's no position from which my dad deaf blind rescue puppy is up. But people

her name is not actually Roomba. I wouldn't do that. Her name is busy. But that's a nice thing about deaf dogs. It's kind of dealer's choice every time. Yeah, it doesn't. She's not going to come when you call her. You pick. It doesn't matter. She's a super good dog.

I've always been a big animal person. I'm way more of an animal person. I was diagnosed with autism in fourth grade. Anybody Anybody else? Anybody else? Anybody else? Anybody else? Cool, isolating, fun for me? Jay? Were you diagnosed with autism at any point? Never tried, I guess.

Crowdwork is difficult for a deaf comedian, but I've known Jay for a minute, so I'm assuming he said absolutely by multiple people. But here's the thing, so this is the perfect job for me. hearing loss and autism are both communication disorders so we don't 100% know what autism looks like in kids with hearing loss we sure shit didn't know anything about anything in the 90s when I was diagnosed I'm the youngest person on the lineup today I still I don't think we had fire in the 90s when I was diagnosed but what I do know is that they told my parents I had it and I was

put in a school for kids who have autism and that's where I was socialized and raised to adulthood so I explained now that I would have I have what I would call type 2 autism it's like type 2 diabetes in the it's lifestyle induced and not strictly an organic thing so like for example if you were born with it that's type 1 right obviously if you were homeschooled, though, that's type 2. That's a learned behavior. If you have a legitimate neurological difference, that's type 1 all the way, right? Clearly.

If you have, like, a lot of online role-playing experience, though, this part of the audience, I feel, I don't know, it's call it an instinct, but that's type 2. And I used to just, this last joke's risky, I'm going to get the mic stand in case I have to run. I used to just not do it in crunchy cities. Now it's everywhere. Vaccines don't cause type 1 autism.

It's silly. I knew that was some places clap, but it wasn't going to be here. Vaccines don't cause type 1 autism. The scientists took claim that he lost his medical license. Also, I feel like even if it did, an autistic kid is better than a dead kid. But what do I know? But here's the thing. Vaccines have absolutely nothing to do with type 1 autism.

However, thinking that they do, classic type 2, really textbook. That's my time. Thank you so much. Hayden Crystal, everybody. Let's go ahead and move on to your next comedian, your next contestant. He's on Instagram at the Chris Army, which makes sense because they play his music at Guantanamo Bay. It's Jay Chris Newmer. Everybody, cool.

Thanks for coming. coming. The very first joke I was ever told my entire life was told me my grandfather. He told me the joke when I was six. I didn't get it, but I'm going to tell it. So there's this nun, and she's walking through a park by herself late at night. She was very alone. And all of a sudden, this dude jumps out of the bushes, and he grabs the nun, and he rapes the nun. And that's not the punchline. Afterwards, they're lying there in each other's arms, holding each other, spooning. And he looks at her and he's like, hey, nun, what are you going to tell the rest of the nuns back in the convent?

She's like, wow, great question. I'm going to say that I was raped twice unless you're tired. Yeah, that's right. It's super awesome. I'm going to read all the dirty jokes I just wrote for this. If you tea bag someone with a nut allergy, is that attempted murder? Awesome. You guys are doing great. That's cool. You ever notice how hamburgers sound, like fast food hamburger places sounds so sexualized, like the rest or the sandwiches themselves?

Because it's like Big Mac or like the Whopper or like five guys. You know what I mean? Or like bacon ate her, you know? Or like, you know, in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out. And that never works. So you go home and you jack in the box. That's right. We got six to go. I'm in a relationship.

I just got engaged. And the way to make a relationship last, fellas, or is to just don't, just stay silent a lot. Just keep your mouth shut. Like, don't say stuff all the time. Most specifically, like the easiest way to make it work is, When you're with them and you're shopping, and they take like eight or nine minutes to make each store purchase decision, you will make sure that the relationship can last if you can contain yourself from going, oh, for fuck! I think a battered woman is sad. I think a beer battered woman sounds delicious.

Do you think black astronauts drink Wu-Tang? Come on. Killing up here. I was driving here and I saw these two homeless dudes and they were sitting on a bench and one was performing oral sex on the other one and I thought to myself, wow, both these dudes moved here with a dream and so far it's only working out for that guy. Yeah, wouldn't it be weird if you found a lamp like a magic lamp and you start rubbing it and rubbing it and you were like rubbing the lamp and you're like fucking rubbing the lamp and instead of of a genie appearing, the lamp came all over your shirt.

Yeah, that's cool. Human trafficking sounds fun, am I right? I think it would be a lot. I mean, it's so popular now. Everybody's getting arrested for human trafficking. It must be so difficult to human traffic in LA, especially without a kid pool lane. Am I right?

Show's called Wrong, everybody. Let's see. I wish that you could, when you meet some, I wish that you could look behind their ear and it's like everyone that you meet for the first time would have a price tag on the back of their ear so you could meet them and like know exactly how much it's going to cost you to have them in your life. You'd be like, oh my god, she's beautiful. $46,000. No thanks. I don't need to get her insurance. Oh cool. Let's see, rapy hamburgers.

Oh, I love it. Oh, is that the light? Bless you. I'm more of a clean comic This was a stretch I love being a comic because as a comic It's a safe space for degenerate

As a comedian You can pretty much Say anything you want And the crowd is going to get on board Or at least give you the benefit of doubt Like if you're talking to one of your friends And you're like, hey man So I'm finger banging this horse

Right? Your friend would be like 9-1-9-1-9-1-9-1 But if I'm in front of a crowd I'm like, so I'm really fucking giving it to the horse, right? And everyone in the crowd's like, and then what? Let's go horseback riding. Thanks, everybody. Great.

Excellent stuff. We had a wonderful time. Folks, we've got one more comment coming to the stage to tell us what they think is fucked up. He is the only white guy I know who can sing the chorus to Kanye West's gold digger guilt-free. Make it loud for Nate Hurd, everybody. What's up? So, I was thinking on the way over here, how many times do you think you got to be raped to where it's okay, you kill somebody? There's a number.

Like, if you got raped and then you were like killed somebody, I'd still be like, it sucks that you got raped, but like, don't kill people. You know what I mean? But if you got raped 42 times and then you killed, like, Mark or something, like, Is that, it was just marked though, right? You know what I mean? Like, I feel like, do you get off? 600. How about that?

How many? Like, if somebody got raped 600 times, I feel like, I'm like, what's the equipment? Like, okay, let's say that I got raped 672 times. First of all, what were those last two about? Anyway, but like, if I got raped 672 times and then I was like, yeah, man, I got raped 672 times. And then, like, a year later, I, you know. I blew up a school bus. You know what I mean?

Like, are you going to be mad at me? Or are you going to ask how many kids were on the bus? You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm just asking questions. Because here's the thing. Some dudes will just be gay rather than admit they got raped. You know what I mean? Like, they go to jail and shit and they come out.

Did you get raped in there? No, man, I just started sucking dick because it was cool. Fuck you. I ain't nobody take that shit from me, dog. I like sucking dick. You know what I mean? Like, other dudes would rather, you know, know, just tells, you know, be a bitch, then actually be like gay or something like that, man.

No, man, they just raped the shit out of me, dog. I don't like penises. I mean, it feels good, but I don't like that shit. You know what I mean? Like, that's crazy. What about the first dude who fucked a horse? What about him? What about that dude?

Did he not know that they kick or was he really trying to be bouted about it? You know what I mean? Like, what kind of, what confidence? Who, who turned him down? Like, you know what I mean? Like, who? Who said something so bad to him when he's like, you know what? Fuck y'all bitches.

You know what I mean? And then just was like, I'm going to fuck this horse right over here. If you fuck a horse, does it matter if it's of a girl or a guy horse? Does that make any difference on the... Like if I feel like it does for me, like if you're like, yeah, I fuck the llama. And I'll be like... But if it was a dude llama, I'd be like, nigga you got. You know what I mean?

Like, there will be part of me. There's another layer to judge you on. You know what I'm saying? Like, I once saw a porn. Because I'm old as fuck And so when we was looking for Like when you know Y'all, y'all just go online and y'all see porn

Y'all didn't have no line wire You ever just go on line wire? You ever just be watching porn and it's dope And then all of a sudden it's a bitch fucking a chicken You ever seen some shit? Like that's line wire. That's what line wire was. You had no saying what the fuck you downloaded.

But the first porn I ever saw Like one of the first points We were sneaking through my homie's drawers And we saw this point It was like a VHS and we put it in and it was a dude fucking a duck. And that was in his parents' drawers. And VHS is crazy, because that's the part that it stopped at.

You know what I mean? Like, whoever was watching it, they stopped it right there. They stopped it mid-duck fuck. You know what I mean? Like, he had to think about the fact that his mom or dad stopped mid-duck fuck. And then I took that information to school with me. me and then he bought my lunch for the rest of the year. That's how that happens. I remember one

time me and a couple other people, I did not lead this, but I was there. We made a retarded girl eat some doo-doo on the end of a stick because we told it was chocolate, but I have been set on fire twice so I feel we even you know what I mean like we we good right you know what I mean like like we are the first time was

fucked up but then a second I was like I probably did deserve a little bit of it I didn't here's thing I didn't think she'd actually eat the shit but but once she did I wasn't going to be like nah it was shit like I felt like you know what I mean like it felt bad because she was happy that we included her in the chocolate and I didn't

she was look she was a little slow so I But like, so she maybe she, in her head, she just ate some really bad chocolate, but she was at least part of the group. So why would I take that away from her too? At least, you know, I felt like I was doing a good thing. They did light me the fuck on fire. I want y'all to remember that. So they did. They did get me back for that shit.

All right. Thank you guys. Nathan heard everybody. Wow. I would just like to say, what a wonderful trio of comedy sets for the people who are having sex in the bathroom. to be listening to while we are going on. Makes some noise for the people who are fucking in the bathroom right now, y'all. And makes noise for all of your comics.

Everybody, come back on out. Hayden Crystal, Jay Chris Newburgh, and Nathan Hurd. Hayden, right over here. Jay Chris, right over here. Nathan Hurd, right here in the middle. And the applause just doesn't stop. It just don't stop. Stop, y'all.

That was a wonderful trio of sets. I do feel like it is nice. We do have mate. We have a zookeeper here. We have somebody who understands horses. Yes. So well,

is it gay if you're fucking a dude horse? I feel like there's a lot going on before that. To me, gay kind of falls to the bottom of the priority list. I see, pun intended. I see what did there. Oh yeah, I think it's right there. Yeah, let's get that on

for you, Nate. I feel like you still didn't answer the question, though. I think a lot of different slurs come to mind before any of the gay ones. That's a great you know, that's a great point. Yeah. And I think that's definitely a great way

to start off with some points. Tyler, how are all of our comics doing on the point scale so far? Well, Jay Hayden and Jay Chris are tied with 500 points. And Nate is in the league with 700 points, Jay. Wow, that's very good. I had to give it more points because he literally said mid-duck fuck like four times.

You just made Nate do a spit take in referencing his own joke. That's powerful. Jay, Chris, how are you feeling? Do you have any thoughts about fucking animals? I feel like we've left you out on the table, left you out cold. That's okay. That's okay. I mean, I like to get to know an animal first before I run.

rush right into fucking it. You're more of a sapio-sexual when it comes to animal fucking. Yeah, you know, it has to be the right personality of the animal. I can't just randomly pick a German shepherd or, you know, or a cat,

or, you know, the old reliable lamb, you know, but I just, I have to get to know that. I have to like them as a person. Emotional connection? Yeah. Yeah. Not as a person.

Well, in my mind, that's how I justify it. Okay. Well, folks, we are going to continue things. We've got our next round. Let's go ahead and get to know what we think is more fucked up about these comics. We are going to enter the discomfort zone with all of our comedians.

The way this works. Yeah, the people who've been to the show, clap. You guys don't even know what the fuck you're in for. I also don't know. I'm not happy about whatever this is it. Hayden, by the way, literally was just going to come hang out at the show. Hayden's just in town and then all of a sudden

we had a comic drop and was like hey Hayden you want to do the show Hayden drove here from Riverside to do this show today. Yeah whatever's about to happen know that I agreed to do this I went out of my way to support a friend This is important We're all about friendship on this show

And now we're going to do some things where I find out more about my friends and these comics on these shows We've done some research, we've done some digging on the internet And off the internet And we are going to ask our comedians, some uncomfortable questions that are tailored individually to each of them. They're going to get points for squirming their way out of it in the most funny way possible. Let's start things off with Hayden Crystal.

Hayden, come on up. Oh, I don't want to stand up for this. Oh, but you've got to. Okay. You can put the mic in the stand if you'd like. No. I'm going to be real with you. I've been doing comedy for a minute.

I don't know how a mic stand works. That's why I just lean on the mic like a cool person at the end of my set. I don't know how to adjust it. So I'll just hold it. I'll just hold it. You know what? Who cares? Don't worry about it.

If you need it, we'll give it to you. You can lean on it. I have no, I have no clue what you're saying. Fair enough. The whole time, it's just any man who's not on stage for me. I don't think it's a... Yeah, that's the downside. We don't have a spotlight on Tyler.

So he's going to be in the dark the whole time. And so will I. Hey, much like my childhood. In the dark. Go ahead. Absolutely. Honestly, it's a good thing you did. hear that one. That one wasn't very funny. The crowd

didn't laugh either. You didn't, no, you didn't miss anything. No, I'm getting a feel for what's hit and what's not. Yeah, we all know what's going on here. Yeah. We can pinpoint exactly what's happening. Yeah. Let's go ahead and move on. Hayden, we have some information that we pulled for you. To a family that does not sign.

So Hayden was on America's Got Talent. It's just me. Yeah. This is the package. Communication has always been something that I have to struggle with. I think early on, I found that comedy is a language everyone to understand. Yeah.

Yeah. You were on AGT. I was. The headline of this video is Hard of Hearing comedian, wow's audience with great comedy set. Yeah. And, yeah, we'll take a clap for that. Thank you. That's, I think, the golf clap is the AGT cloud.

We also, of course, you talked about this in your set. You're hard of hearing and you're also autistic. No, I don't think so. We've got, and listen, you reference it, and you reference it even got quoted. in the Denver Gazette. You talking about... Yeah, because it was one of the best jokes of the best.

It was the one I just told you guys for free. I wouldn't say best. I would say it was overheard. That's what this official article says. Oh, okay. Then I may have shared that on Instagram too quickly. All right, I'll take that L. That was my baby.

But we know these jokes. We've heard Hayden talk about this. And I think the question that we all felt that you needed to answer was... Great. was, would you rather be more deaf and less autistic or be less deaf and more autistic? And feel free to explain your logic? Well, I feel like being deaf gets me out of the obligation to listen to people's podcasts.

And I don't feel like being more autistic would make that easier. Do you know what I mean? If anything, I would have to do more pot. I would have to listen to more podcasts. and I don't want to fucking do that I'd rather me more deaf all right you know what that's a great answer

Hayden Crystal everybody you may return to your seat feel free oh thank you you got your one quite you're done you're a weird one of done I handled it like a politician

boom yes and now we're going to find out what we got for Jay Chris Newberg come on up Jay Chris there we go is your microphone okay you got the light

you're good you know what's going on yes I haven't seen you in a minute. Nice to see you. Is it going out again? You know what? Let's go ahead and we'll trade this thing out.

We'll trade it with Hayden's mic temporarily. Because the batteries aren't charged in that one, I don't think. Wow. You know what? Let's do this and I'll just stand close to you, Nate. Hey, hey, we're making it work, everybody. We're thinking on the fly. Yeah.

Jake Chris Newbert. Yes. we've known each other for not a very long time but I've been aware of you for a very long time I have known that you existed I've seen you on Comedy Central I've seen you since you and since I was a child and I've learned this

this makes a whole lot of sense you used to have blog I used to have I did yeah and we found your blog I couldn't even do that if I wanted to we found your blog run that blog yeah

jacrisnewberg.com Roses are red touch me. I should have opened with that. We found this on the way back machine. One of the sections of your blog was you had a message board. Oh, cool. And you got some comments. You got some comments on the message board.

Some of them were a little bit normal. Chris, I like pudding. Warmest regards, Hunter. 2003, pudding was big. Yeah. I like to think that that was Hunter Biden. There's a part of me that's like, he was there. He was there thinking about pudding.

There were also some really weird, horny posts on your message board, like this one, because you did a bunch of colleges around this time. Yeah, I did. And there were a bunch of horned-up college kids looking to talk to you. Like Molly and her friend Kristen, Molly was so into you that she started cutting herself again at your show. It scabbed over into a JCN now and looks pretty sweet. Yeah, that's effort, and that's why she and I are still getting married. You know what? I like that a plaz break. But we looked at some of the horny comments from your comment section.

Okay. And we, of course, we've already done a would you rather. It's only fair that we do a fuck, Mary kill, with some of these commenters that we found on your message board. So. From 2003. From 2003. Well, once from 2001.

Oh, that's cool. Let's create that sound up just a little bit. Fuck Mary Kill. Tracy, your little Moulon Rouge, and I'm a crack. And I'm just going to read all these out. Friday night. Well, I think I'm pregnant again. Your comedy is fertilized yet another mental egg inside of me. Makes sense. I want to be your bun and Chris was Viagra before Viagra.

Oh, that's pretty good. Fuck Mary Kill. These people. It seems too easy to fuck the Viagra one because it seems like it would happen anyway. I would absolutely marry the person. who the person who referred to my comedy as fertilizing a mental egg. That is someone who I want to hang out with

and I could talk to and we would be great. So I'd marry that and then I would probably kill Viagra because at this point in time that seems like a lot of effort and a lot of fucking for someone who's 53. I don't have any interest in doing that a bunch. Let's see. I want and I guess I would

fuck, Mary, I want to be your bun. What does this mean, by the way? I want to be your bun. What does that mean? Beautiful, unique Newberg. That's my last name. All right, so we all agree that I did not win this round. That was, what, seven days before 9-11?

That was seven days before 9-11. This one was? Tuesday, September 4th. We looked up what you did on 9-11, by the way. Okay. It was on the blog. I didn't pull it because I didn't think Tyler was going to do the math in time.

All right. What happened was, you posted saying, hey, everybody. I remember. I think I remember this. You do? I was supposed to record an album on 9-11. I'm not even kidding. I was supposed to do an album at Club Heidelberg in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Tell me I'm wrong. Is that way they did it? That's why they did it. Yeah, that's exactly. That's smarter. That's exactly what was supposed to happen. And he would just post an apology for it on the blog. And you know what?

That's all we need. Shane Chris Newberg, everybody. Wow. You know, we do a lot of 9-11 related stuff on this show, but never have I seen such a pointed 9-11 reference than suggesting someone's comedy needed 9-11 to happen. I think all of our comedy needed 9-11 to happen. I think, honestly, yeah, you're right. 9-11 was the prequel to Trump. Like, that's all we talked about. I mean, that's a great point. You got this, you got this guy feeling his feelings all about it. You know what, let's give his, I'm going to give you your prize back. You're going to get your prize.

back. Wow. This has never happened before. Prize revoked and then given back. You get the ghost of Orange County right back to you. That's the good shit. All right. Let's go and move on to Nathan Hurd, Nathan Hurd, in the discomfort zone. Do you want the mic stand? Nobody, I feel like nobody needs the mic stand. No. No. Okay. We're good. We're gonna just put this thing over here, all right? Hey, Nate.

Suck. Suck. You? You? are a black albino. Yes. This has been covered many times. I've known you a long time. I've seen this in your stand-up. We have this clip that we pulled from comedy time.

I came out looking like this. God had some extra time on his hands. Figured he'd do some experiment. Came up with me, I guess. I would have liked to be a fly-on-the-wall in the door. delivery room though. Because both of them, my mom and my mom and my dad be like, it's not mine, it's not my, it's not my.

How does it feel? Seeing the young Nathan heard. I'm gonna kick you in the chest later. That's the hardest thing I've ever watched in my entire fucking life. Oh my God, it was terrible. Oh, man. But, hey, you did bring up something that I do think is really interesting. You had two black parents.

I don't even know this. Have you met your biological parents? No. Okay. Well, this is a perfect question then. So you got two black parents, and we don't know who they are. Obviously, they could be anybody. They might even be celebrities. In fact, let's assume that maybe they are celebrities for this point to this question. And Nate, which black celebrities would you be most disappointed to find out are your real parents? Oh, shit.

Now I'll say a caveat They don't have to be a couple So it doesn't have to be like They can be two separate people They can be two separate people It doesn't need to be like Jay Z and Beyonce It's just too separate I would be real disappointed

If I found out that my mom was Jada and Pinkett Smith I would be so unhappy That skinny bald heifer Like, I would be so mad. God damn it. Oh, my God. I might not even, like, admit it.

You know what I mean? Like, if it's a dad, yeah. Who else? So you had the mom. Who's the dad? Who's the dad? Would I really be disappointed? Would I really be disappointed?

You know what? Honestly, and this is going to sound weird, I would be the most disappointed if Michael Jackson was my dad. You know what, that's fair? No, not because... Michael Jackson. No, no, I don't... Because here's the thing.

Too many people already asked me if I have that fucking Michael Jackson disease. Like, yeah, exactly. And I don't, and I don't fucking, like, if he was my dad, he'd be like, yeah, you fucking do. And I don't fucking want to have to deal with that. Okay?

I already deal with it enough. So, Michael Jackson and Jay to Pinkin with my parents, I just kill myself, dog. Like, really? Really. You know what? That's a great answer. Nathan Heard, everybody.

Wow. What a journey we've gone on in the show already. You feel like you want to have something to say? They're actually here now. Let's bring them out. Come on out! Now is the time. That's how deep we've dug on the discomfort zone. We found your black parents who you would like... It's the opposite. You disown your black parents.

I like that. That's good. And we dug up Michael Jackson. We dug up Michael Jack. on, Jack. Actually, you know what? This is a great time, because we need to do a little bit of points tally, so give us just a second. We got a brief message from our sponsor. Oh, my

God. I'm so sorry for what just happened with my voice. Let's go ahead and move on. We got a sponsor. Play that real quick, and we're going to talk to Tyler. There's something wrong with the boy. He's no longer listening to Mommy and Daddy. He spends all day

in his room alone playing with his microphone young j light coming soon to peacock because every comedy bad boy has an origin story not a pedophile if any doubters in here i have empirical proof run the slideshow just kidding there's no slideshow all right makes the noise for young j light coming this fall. What is? It's coming next. I don't know what it is. Mid-season replacement. How's everybody doing on the points? All right. Hayden and Jay Chris still tied with

1100 points and Nate still the lead. What's closer? With 1,200 points. Ooh, that's close. I have no idea what's happening, but I'm winning by a lot. Yeah. It's anyone's game, which is great news. Because we are going into a round that is

perfect for the holidays. This is a round called Fight Your Family Is it happening? But Nate doesn't know his Hey listen

Now we got it Good time Yeah there we go We're gonna fight our family everybody You've seen family feud And we're not allowed to play family feud We don't even have the technical setup to play family feud Even if we wanted to

This is Fight Your Family and you all We're all people we're all going back. Who's going to go see their family for the holidays? Who's going to see their family for Thanksgiving next week? Well, you two, I know, because you two are my future in-laws. So that's good. We can start off there. You're going to go

see your family. Anybody else going to go see their family for the holidays? Don't worry, we've got training. You guys are going to see your families. You know things might get awkward around the holidays with the family. You might have a fight. Things get weird. And we want to make sure that our comics are here to

help you learn how to handle to fight with your family for the holidays. So, we are going to play, fight your family. Each of our comics is going to have fights with their family members. You're each going to get 15 seconds to start a fight with a family member that we pulled off of the board

who we surveyed 100 imaginary people here in Los Angeles. So let's go and play the first round of fight your family. Show us our top six answers on the board. Hayden, which number, 1 through 6, do you want to try and try and fight your family? I'll do five.

Five. Let's see five. Oh, you get to start a fight with your cousin, most likely to join a cult or multi-level marketing scheme. Okay. Come on up, and you're going to tell us how you're going to do that in 15 seconds. We're going to start the clock. You're going to

start a fight. How are you most going to easily start a fight? Well, let's start the time over again. Let's restart the clock. Let's restart the clock. Oh, you have to wait for the clock to go. Okay. Do you understand what's happening? So you're crushing it. Yeah, I'm really proud of you. I'm so glad I got to see you. It's your best. Thank you. You're welcome. Honestly, great.

I'm doing great today. I feel pretty good about myself. I wore a sweat. I didn't rip any of my clothes today. Yeah. Okay. Okay. We're sitting down to the dinner. You got the turkey's all cut. Grandma's all drunk. Hit it, Jay. Go for it. Is it working? Yeah, I was just waiting for him to stop so I could start. Is it a time going?

No, we will let you know when the time is going. You are going to start a fight with the cousin most likely to join a cult starting now. Oh, it says cult slash MLM. Either one. I have an, I mean, is there any difference? I mean, that would start a fight. I have a cousin who does the essential oil thing, and boy, she was not happy when I asked if she should be wiping that on her baby.

That's tough for Hayden Crystal. Jake Rsnuber. I'm going to pick four. Four? Let's see four on the board. Your most senile grandparent. You got 15 seconds to show us how you're going to start a fight with your most senile

grandparents starting now. Hey, grandpa. Just kidding. You're grandma. You're not going to remember any of this. That's cool. Remember when you loan me money? Me neither. Oh, that's so cool. I'm so sorry I say, do you remember? Oh, I just grabbed your dick. And that's time, everybody.

Honestly, I think the pause at the very end, nice dramatic effect. Thank you. I think that's very good. It was for grandpa. It reminds your old people that they're going to die soon by making them suffer through time. Exactly. Yeah. That was my intention.

Yeah. All right, Nate. One. Let's see number one. Your uncle who's most likely to have stormed the Capitol on January 6th. You got family in the South So I feel like this could be a bit of a bit of an easy one for you But you got you got 15 seconds to start that fight

Ready go You guys there was fucking stairs Why the fuck were you climbing the wall There were fucking stairs How did you fuck that up? There were stairs dude Why were you couldn't even climb one wall There were fucking stairs

At that time Effective Solid I like this. Now we're going to move on. Things are a little bit more point. We're not going to do these generalities anymore on fight your family. No, no. We are now moving on to

specific family members. We got the top three answers on the board for your nuclear family. So we're going to see Hayden. Go ahead and pick a number. One.

Who are you going to be starting to fight with? Your mom. Oh, that's literally anything. If I just fucking walk in the room, I don't have to because she'll start one for me. Oh, my mom is an anti-marijuana activist. Start it, start it. Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't see.

You're good. Go for it. Go for it. My mom is an anti-marijuana activist, and we live in Colorado. And so, honestly, if I just, yeah, it's dumb as shit. If I just bring a bag of edibles, boy, that'll take care of that for me. Oh, yeah. And that's time.

Look at that. Fuck anti-marijuana act. I didn't even know there was a thing. It's so dumb. I occasionally go straight articles for them because they pay me a lot of money. So I'm not helping, but... Listen, you gotta get that green.

Yeah. To stop pushing that green. I feel like if I buy weed with it, then it is neutral. Yeah. It's an offset. My carbon footprint for that is zero. Yeah, exactly.

Let's go ahead and move on to Jake Riss Newberg. I'll take number three. Number three, your sibling. Brother, sister? Neither. Oh, boy. Pick a dog. Pick it, do you have a dog?

No. All right, we're going to... Do you have a cat? No. All right. We're going to call an audible here. No, no, no, no. Fiancee.

Oh. That's good. Newly minted fiancé. Start that fight. you have 15 seconds starting now. Oh man, this is tough because I love her so much. Just kidding, I'd be like, I'm so sorry that I had sex with your mother and sister first

just to see what it was going to be like. And you know what? You were the third best. And that's time, everybody. Wow. Brutal. It's wrong. It is wrong.

It's the name of the show. Let's go ahead and move on. Hey, Nate. Yeah. You only have one option. Two. Number two is your dad. Okay.

You got 15 seconds to start a fight with your dad starting now. Well, you killed yourself when I was six, so I lost Santa Claus and you in the same fucking year, you asshole. Like, seriously, you couldn't have fucking waited like five years until I already didn't believe in him and I'd gotten used to it. And then fucking off yourself, selfish. That's time. You know what? I feel like this has become the most cathartic game we've ever had on Rohn. It's not usually how...

Things are usually not cathartic on this show. Guys, that was fight with your family, or fight your family, whatever the fuck this round is called. Tyler, I think we got a... We got some points we're going to check. How about that? All right. Third place, Hayden, with 14 hundred points. Second.

Jay Chris, 50 hundred points. And Nate, with the whole, is Santa Claus and his dad dying the same here. $6.00 points. Wow. I have no clue what's happening. You know what? At this point, I don't even think it matters, Aidon. From the time I said yes,

it felt the same way. You knew it was going to be worth the drive from Riverside. Make some noise for Riverside, California. I would tone it down. Let's go ahead and move on to our next round. Oh, wait, is it a commercial? No, it's a commercial.

It's quite a name. Brigetti! You're spaghetti Raghetti's cousin? Yeah, why so surprised? Holy moly, well, I thought... I thought, I was expecting someone that looked like Rick.

What's that? You know, fat, hairy, homely? But you're not so fat. Old Jay Life is streaming now on Amazon Prime. I was high and being a millennial for years. I didn't want to admit that I was a millennial. but I did jerk off to an Instagram feed

so there's nothing I can do. I did jerk off to an Instagram feed, everybody. And that is why I have not been on television in eight years. Let's go and actually move on to the next round. Entweetment. Now, we got the people who've been to the show before. They're clapping.

You don't even know what the fuck you're in for, do you? You've been sitting in the back the whole time just casually watching us, just very concerned. Here's how this game. works. Here's how this game works. I'm going to come. I'm bringing it to the people. All right? This is, you have social media, surely, right? Yeah, of course you do. Who doesn't have social media in here? This is perfect. I know,

Heyton, listen, I'm walking far away. You can't even see what I'm saying. Oh, I didn't have to. I saw you hit the chair, dip shit. Ah, that's probably rude. I shouldn't have done that. Yeah, this place hosts your show and you're going to disrespect a property like that. I will undisrespect. I will pay for whatever it cost to repair that chair. Great. Yeah, that's the spirit.

That's coming out of my pocket. All right? Let's this around. We've got social media. We got social media. And sometimes you say some things that you didn't want to say on social media. Maybe you said them in the heat of the moment.

Probably shouldn't have said it. Maybe you were smart enough to delete it. Good news. None of these people were smart enough to delete it. We have found a bunch of old tweets that are questionable in nature. And we're going to make all these comedians guests to see if they can remember what

they said all those years ago. We're going to start off with one of mine. I think that's only fair. I think it's only fair if we start off with one of mine. Yeah. Now, you have no idea what this is, Jay. I never know what it is. I'm always nervous.

All right. Because it gets worse every single... You guys can't... I have a deep well of bad tweets. It's true. That's true. I really do. All the producers on the show know how bad my well of tweets is. And I bet they found some...

I probably like fucked a turkey in this tweet. I feel like that's probably what happened. It's like the well from the ring. It's what it's like. Tyler, take away some points from yourself for that one. All right. Let's go ahead and move on to my first tweet. Let's see what the blanked out version is.

Oh, I think I know what this one. Okay. I'm not going to say it out loud. On one hand, I could do No Shave November. On the other hand, blank. I mean, I have a guess, but I'm not even going to worry about saying what it is. All I know is that I got one like. I said this is November 1st, 2011, 11, 18 a.m.

I was a junior in college. I have no idea what this could be. Do you guys have any guesses before we see our options? Start a game show. I have my dick Yeah I was going to say the same thing I could do no shave November but on the other hand Is my penis

I agree with me Well let's see what our options are here On one hand I could do no shade November On the other hand I don't want to do No one respects me November That's fair You know what in fairness dude that deserves two likes That does deserve two legs

That made me seem that one's not one's not real on one hand I can do no shape of November On the other hand My facial hair is the worst thing To be on my face Since my ninth grade girlfriend I feel like that's you

Can you grow facial hair I This is the most facial hair That I'm working with right now That's not good I thought I got a big In context

I got one dry patch Right here You had a creepy mustache For a minute Jay I did I thought it was not going to be creepy And none of my friends told me that it wasn't creepy

It's gravy. I leaned into it. That plus the domer glasses, not good. It doesn't help. By the way, I keep getting... There's apparently a new true crime villain on Netflix, and I look exactly like this guy, too. I don't even know his name, but everybody...

I've gotten seven messages about looking like this fucking guy this week. I can't escape it. On one hand, I can do No Shape November. On the other hand, I've never grown facial hair. I feel like I get one point for that. Yeah, you definitely get a little bonus point. Give Hayden a little bonus point. I think I know which one the real one is.

I want to see what you all think the real ones are. Let's start with Hayden. Which one of these do you think was the real tweet? I feel like the first one's the least funny. I feel like it might be that one. That's a fair guess. Yeah, this seems very self-aware for a junior in college. I think it could be.

Let's see what the next one is. I don't know. We're going to find out. Jay, Chris, which one do you think it is? I think it's, I've never grown facial hair because I think that you would have leaned into that early for comedic value. You knew, you were like,

what's going to get one like? This is going to get one like. All right. I think it's this one. I get more likes on this than hairs on my face. That's pretty good. That you should have tweeted that. I should have tweeted that.

Hindsight. Nate, which one do you think? I think it's the second one, actually. Yeah, I think it's the second one because there's so many words and you, you know, trying to be a writer. I actually, I do remember, now that I've seen all the options, I do know which one it is. I can guarantee that it is the second one. I can guarantee, yeah, all right, yeah, of course. It's the second one.

My ninth grade girlfriend, delightful woman, but there's a reason that we broke up after ninth grade. Not a woman. Not a woman. A broad. I don't feel like we're getting closer with broad. Ninth grade. It is a mostly male lineup. I feel like we just need to hammer that message home as often as we can in comedy.

Why not? Let's go for it. All right. Hayden, it's time for you to get in tweeted. It makes noise for Hayden Crystal, everybody. Come on up, Hayden. You can sit down if you want. I don't, yeah, I'll stay here.

All right. Fire. I just don't want to spin in a circle. Oh, you're not going to have to. You know what? That's a great point. Yeah. Let's keep you here.

Hayden Crystal. This is from August 2nd, 2016. 1133 AM. No retweets, no likes. Oh, I know this one. You do? Yeah, I can get close. Okay, great.

Don't say it if you see the real option, because Jay, Chris, and Nate are going to get a chance to guess first. What were you doing? By the way, what are you doing at this time in your life? You're watching a lot of magic shows. I'll answer it afterwards. Okay. The blanked out tweet reads,

I've been watching the show about how they do famous magic tricks. 98% of the time the answer is blank. I've been watching the show about how they do famous magic tricks. 98% of the time the answer is, a virgin had too much time on his hands. All right, too many virgins in this audience tonight for them to laugh at that one. I've been watching the show about how they do famous magic tricks.

percent of the time, the answer is flexible women putting up with bullshit. Option three, I've been watching the show about how they do famous magic tricks. 98% of the time, the answer is, these are miracles and Jesus Christ is the one true God. That one's reverberating a little bit.

Do you still think you know which one it is? Oh, I know 100% which one it is. Okay, great. Let's see if Jay Chris... Because I stand by it today. Jay Chris, which one do you think it is? I can't remember the first one and I think the whole God miracle thing Jesus Christ would have at least

pumped up three, four likes just out of, you know, angry people. So I'm going to go with the second one. Okay, second one. Nate, what about you? Which one do you think it is? I'm going to go with the first one. The first one? Yeah.

All right. The unmemorable one. That's a good sign. Hayton, you know which one of the real one is. Yeah, I do. Which one is it? It's flexible women putting up with bullshit. It is flexible women putting up with bullshit.

Yeah. You remember this time in your life. Yeah, because my dad and I were watching this series on Netflix. It's like how they do magic tricks. And it's just some 20-year-old who, like, wanted a TV credit who's like, yeah, I'll get in this box. It was just like, it was all just like. I thought it was going to be like, oh, we use this contraption, but no, it's just flexible women putting up with bullshit. And then I did AGT, and that's mostly magicians, and it holds.

That's right. It is. It's a lot of flexible women. I work for Chris Angel. There's a lot of flexible women putting up with that guy's bullshit. Putting up with bullshit. Yeah, it's a whole industry. It is.

It's an entire industry. I stand by this. I don't regret this tweet. You know what? This is a good tweet. Fuck magicians. Support flexible women, everybody. That's what we need.

And don't fuck magicians. Don't fuck magicians. Right. Yeah, absolutely don't do that. Do not do that. Magicians, the least pussy-getting group out of any artist there is. For good reason.

What's that behind your ear? A baby. I love magic so much. So much. You know what? I believe that. That totally tracks. I don't know. Wait, why? Because he fucking pulled a corner out of the back of my fucking ear, dude.

That's awesome. You're so childlike. Yeah, fucking, you don't want to... I like magic, too. I enjoy it. I'm not going to fuck them. I would totally fuck a bitch in a box. A bitch in a box.

If somebody just popped up in a fucking box, it's awesome. Yeah, the bitch in the box isn't the magic part. Yeah, the fucking magic. Women putting up with bullshit are never... Like, they're the ground crew. They're never the magician. If a chick came up to me and was like, you want to see a magic trick, and she, like, fucking pulled, like, threw 70 cards in the fucking there.

I'd be like, it's fucking awesome. Yeah. I would, well, let's amend this. Especially because the decks only got 52 cards. You know what I'm saying? Jake, if there's ever proof that Nate is definitely black, and see, I'm talking about magic, for sure. Well, most black people

that I know are scared of magic. So Nate is actually the outlier here. Clowns. Clowns. Oh, okay. Black people, can we verify it's clowns over magic? They didn't even want to participate. This is how much they are worried about what's going to happen on the rest of the show.

I mean, clowns is a white guy in white face, so I get it. You know what? Tyler, take more points away from yourself for that one. Let's go to move on to Jay Chris Newberg, everybody. Jay Chris Newberg. Yes, let's clap for this tweet. Perhaps the oldest tweet we found in a very long time. Holy shit, 2010.

Yeah. The blanked out tweet reads, I think a great campaign slogan for pro-life would be blank. You tweeted this July 5th, 2010. I want to apologize right now. They got no likes, but I got four retweets. It was like the third day of Twitter. No one knew, like honest. They didn't

even know what to do with it. It's pretty early. As a sidebar, we're being pretty loosey-goosey, dead naming. Jeff Axe. Hayden, Nate, before we get into it, do you have any options what do you think this might be? I don't know.

I pulled a quarter behind your ear. Here's the baby. Let's go ahead and move on. Let's see some options. Remember, if you think you know which one it is, don't say it. Okay. I think a great campaign slogan for pro-life would be

Hosta-Lavista, baby. Killers. I think a great campaign slogan for pro-life would be, Nobody puts baby in a coroner. I think a great campaign slogan for pro-life would be, I want my baby back, Liz. These are all great. Based on the comedic stylings of myself, I know exactly which one.

Okay, great. Remember, don't say it until after Hayden and Nate have had a chance to guess, Hayden, let's start with you. I think it's one I don't were people with lives a thing

in 2010 probably it was huge I was in 10th I was in 10th grade I'm very young I was 40 that's disgusting

you'll get there which one do you think it is Hayden you have a guess I think it's one you think it's one all right Nate what about you which one do you think it is

I'm going to say one too. Okay. Jay Chris, which one do you think it is? I think it's nobody puts baby in a corner. Because that just sounds like something I would say now. Let's put the real tweet up. It is nobody puts baby in a corner. That's an excellent joke.

And by the way, yeah, you should. It's great. Bring that back. I would like to give an audience prize out to the young lady who clapped for that tweet because she knew instinctively. So Tyler, go ahead and get her prize. Let's find out your name real quick. What is your name?

Catherine. Catherine, congratulations. Tyler has just given you a prize. Tyler, tell her what you won. You won this. It's a biography by Anna Fares with a forward by Chris Bratt, unqualified. Here you go.

I found that on the street. Just like all the prizes on the show, we found them in the trash. And that is perfect. Let's go and move on for your final comic. Mate Hurd. All right I once yelled

A teacher that I didn't like Blank No likes, no retweets 10.58 PM May 29th 2018 Do you have, by the way, I would like to point out Nate, you've been tweeting for a long time

and you have a very unhinged Twitter Do you? You kind of do? I, like, yeah. I don't really do Twitter, so I'll just like something raggedy will come to me and I'll just say it. Yeah, and I like that. I would say your Twitter, I would describe your Twitter as raggedy. That's a good way to describe your Twitter.

As evidenced by the options. Now remember, if you think you know which one it is, don't say it until you have a chance from Hayden and Jay Christa guess. All right. I once yelled at a teacher that I didn't like. I will come on everything you love. I once yelled at a teacher. teacher that I didn't like. I'm putting pubs in the pencil sharpener.

You can't stop me. I once yelled at a teacher that I didn't like, I'm going to dress up as you for Halloween, then kill myself. Nate, you look very deep in thought. Nate's very deep in thought. It could have been all of them really.

And that's why I love this game. You're going to get a second to think about it, but Hayden Jay Chris, which know. I do know which one it is. Oh, you do? Yeah. Okay, don't say it. We got Hayden and Jake Chris first. Wait, tell me, though, because I'm in last evening. Hayden, which one do you think it is? Just based on your set that we saw tonight,

I feel like it's either the first one or the last one. I think the last one is funnier, so I'm going to go with that. All right, it's the last one for Hayden. Jay Chris, which one do you think it is? I want it to be the last one because I kind of want to hear him say it, because it would be awesome. I also, yeah, I would like to second that motion. Yeah, I think it would be one.

Because I could just see them saying it. And they're all funny, but that, that's my, I think it's three. Okay. Nate, what about you? Which one do you think it is? I know exactly which one it is. You do? Yeah.

Okay, which one is it? It's the first one. No, you were right. It's the first one. I will come on everything you love. You really yelled that at a teacher. Mr. Williams, eighth grade. Why didn't you, what prompted you to yell at him?

I will come on everything you love. He was kicking me out of class for, talking and it was somebody on the other side of the room and then he called, he was like he was like, this is the problem with teaching you black kids. Oh! Yeah, so I said, well,

fuck you, I will come on everything you love, kick my desk over and walked out of the fucking class. That's good. Can I change my answer to one? It's a little late for that. It is a little bit late for that. But that is the end of entwement, everybody. Make some noise for all of your comics.

Oh, that means we're about time to give away some points and some prizes. Tyler, how is everybody doing at this point in the show? Can I tell you, Jay, it was close. It was actually tied before we got to that last question. So, Caden and Jay Chris with 8,100 points.

And Nate, just barely in a lead with 1,900 points. Wow, it is close. We are going to take a moment here. Now, audience, you guys have been here and you all get a chance to vote, too, before we get out of here, you're going to tell us who you think is the most fucked up comedian of this show. We're going to put, hand, do a classic plaza meter style.

The vote's going to go to Tyler. He's going to tabulate the points. We're going to read some audience prizes out. So let's go ahead and start. If you think that Hayden Crystal was the most fucked up comedian of this show, make some noise. That's very polite. Thank you. If you think that Jay Chris Newberg was the most fucked up comedian of this show.

If you think that Nathan Hurd was the most fucked-up comedian of this show. These are close answers. Tyler's going to go ahead and tabulate the points, and I'm going to read off some answers here. You guys all submitted who you think had a fucked-up week, and we found some answers of who had fucked-up weeks. These people are going to get some nice prizes. In third place, we have Lou.

Yeah, Lou. right here in the front row. Lou, Workless Boss, Hawaii movie Larazapam. Jesus. I don't know what any of that means.

One more time? Workless boss, Hawaii movie Larazapam. Okay, that sounds like a great week. That sounds like a concussion. Sounds like my morning. Tyler,

do we have a... We don't. All right. Tyler's worried about. something else. I'm ready. Whenever you're ready. Oh, we'll tell, yeah, let's tell Lou what his prize was for this week.

Oh, no, I'll give him the prize. Do you go, you stare, what's happening, Tyler? You give me the prize, and I will tell them what they won. Okay, I'll give this to Lou. Fucking well-oiled machine. This is the most well-oiled this machine has ever been. I figured, I saw the suit.

Yeah, oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Look, this suit, you didn't even know the suit had a broken button, did you? I could have guessed. Tyler, tell Lou what he won. Lou, you got a chess with learning chess with Bobby Fisher. Actually, I found that at a goodwill in San Diego, and I brought it all the way here to give to you.

Now it's yours. In second place, for the most fucked up week, we have Todd. Todd's kid has lice. Yeah. Boo, yeah, let's boo those lice, but let's give Todd a prize. Tell Todd. God, what he won, Tyler?

I believe you won a book. That's the state of Florida. It's just a book about the state of Florida. I did find that on the street. Maybe he should give him a comb. Yeah. Or finally, our number one person who had the worst week, Shelly's cat has feline acne.

What did she win? Okay, Tyler's figuring it out. Tyler, tell her what she won. Yeah, you want to, B-Bop, B-Bob! Ninja Turtles! that I found in a box in the green room. Yeah. You get them at the best one.

You're left. Shelly looks like an action figure enthusiast. Fantastic. Congratulations. Now, Tyler, you've done our tallying of the points. You've worked in the audience points. Go ahead and tell these comics who has won which prize is. Who's the most fucked up comedian of the week?

All right, Jay. I'm going to walk this up here. I'll trade places with you. Take the microphone. Hey, you can play the prize. Now. In third place, you won. Well, you guys actually tied.

So I'm just going to decide who gets what. Hey, Hayden, you get the power of Kabbalah. 13 principles to overcome challenges and achieve fulfillment. That's for you. Oh, wow. You did it? That was found on the street. That was from the street in West Hollywood.

That feels like a victory. Yeah, can you imagine I was only in L.A. for like 20 minutes, and all my dreams already can change true and I can leave now. Fuck yeah. Hey, Jay, Chris, you're about to get married. this is a perfect prize for you. Spiritual divorce. Divorce is a catalyst for an extraordinary life.

And I found this on the street in North Hollywood, and a bookmark, it is literally a description of a Pisces man. That's cool for two reasons. They're looking for a doormat, not a partner. Be happy or out of the running. That's for you, Jay Chris Newburgh. This is cool for two reasons. One, I'm a Pisces man, and two, the person I'm getting

married to is a spirit. Perfect. When's your birthday? And our winner is Nate Hurd, Nate. You won this. It's the 10 DVD set of Experts Academy How to Be a Guru. We're going to take it. I don't know. It's a broken box.

I found on the street to West Hollywood. But that's not all. That's not all, actually. It's not just that. You actually won two 10 DVD sets of How to Be a Guru. Here you go. That's where you is. That's where a friend.

His holiday season is coming up. That's all for you, buddy. Jay, back to you. We'll also give Nate a copy of you. You've won a copy of the Get Out of Cancellation Free Card. Cash us in at any time. Anytime you get canceled. Hey, that's one more.

I cry it. We've made it, folks. We have gotten to the point of the show where we would like to have everybody to have a nice time. You guys have had a wonderful time here at the show, I take it. But it's been pretty wrong. And we don't want to get you out of the show on a wrong note.

We want to get you out of here on a nice note. We want you to cleanse your palate. So now all of our comedians are going to tell their cleanest, most wholesome joke to get out of here and send you off in the rest of your night. We're going to start off with Hayden Crystal. Well, I figure out how we can hold these prizes for Nate. Hayden Crystal, come on up and tell us your clean, wholesome joke.

I'm a clean comment. I think Jay Chris Newberg and I have been holding down the fort for being the cleanest people. you've ever had on this show. I think so. I don't know. My cleanest joke is they all are pretty clean. We could do a nicer puppy joke, I guess. Sure. I do that.

I have a nicer puppy. So I got a new puppy last year, and this one can see in here. I don't like it. But I do feel the worst for her because she lives in a house where nothing else can hear. So I feel that because it's stressing her out because she's got to think she's nuts. Like the doorbell goes off and she's just like, I swear to God, something just happened, right?

That's it. That's cute. It's a puppy. Hayden and Crystal, everybody. And Jay Chris Newberg, cleanse our palace, friend. You think of the Pope sneezes and someone's like, bless you, you think the Pope's like, I'm good. Jay Chris Newberg. And finally, the clean, wholesome. joke from Nathan Hurd.

This is a joke that I heard in seventh grade and it still makes me laugh today. What did the farmers say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor? Nathan Hurd, everybody. Folks, that's been wronged up

game show. Thank you so much for coming out to Alamo Draftouts. Thank you to all our comics. You guys bared with it in a real fucking crazy night. If you like the show, please follow us at Wrong Game Show. You paid for tickets online on Eventbrite. Cool. If you didn't, just come talk to drop some cash and the wrong tip jar. Melanie will be

with that right over by the exits. Thank you so much for coming. Have a great night and stay. Happy Thanksgiving, I guess. Bye. I got you a gift. Oh, my God. The power of Kabbalah. I bought it in Riverside. It was really expensive. I should read this before we do the next show.

13 principles to overcome challenges and achieve fulfillment.