WRONG! A Fucked Up Game Show - I'M GONNA START WITH ABORTION (ft. Lee Hudson, Mark Vigeant, Sarah Hester Ross)

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

Recorded live at Edinburgh Fringe Festival on August 11th, 2024.OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS: Lee Hudson, Mark Vigeant, Sarah Hester RossSUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE to watch full shows in glorious HD!⁠⁠⁠⁠��⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠COME SEE US LIVE!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Upcoming Shows:SAN DIEGO: 9/6 @ Mic Drop, 10 PMLOS ANGELES: 9/10 @ The Comedy Store, 8 PMSUPPORT THE SHOW: https://ko-fi.com/wronggameshowFOLLOW EVERYONE:WRONG! http://www.instagram.com/wronggameshowLee Hudson http://www.instagram.com/leehudsoncomedyMark Vigeant http://www.instagram.com/mark_vigeantSarah Hester Ross http://www.instagram.com/sarahhesterrosspodcast art by Melanie Meisner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, folks, welcome to another episode of Wrong, a fucked up game show podcast edition. I'm your host, Jay Light. And today we have got an episode from the archives at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. That's right, from last summer's incredible run at the fringe. This is our closing night show. This was a real, real hoot in the room. I hope you love it. I was very big fan of this episode.

We got some great guests. Lee Hudson, a roast battle legend from the UK. Sarah Hester Ross, incredible performer out of Vegas. Mark Vigent, who is one of the great clown character performers in Los Angeles. This show really goes off the rails in some really exciting ways. So I hope you like it. If you want to come see the show live, of course, that's the best way to experience wrong for yourself. We've got a lot of shows coming up soon, including back at the Comedy Store on September 10th at 8 p.m.

And in San Diego at Mike drop on the 6th at 10 p.m. So buy tickets. The links for those are in the show notes. If you like the show, please tell a friend, consider dropping a little bit in our coffee bucket, get a little extra production costs defrayed. And without further ado, let's get wrong. This is our last show of the run. Thank you so much for coming to check it out, everybody.

Make some noise for yourselves. You're in for a special treat tonight. We have a slew of comics performers here to compete to be the most wrong person. The most wrong comedian. You guys ready to get wrong with us tonight? Game shows make some noise. Be like game shows.

People to do things right. Right, not here. We celebrate when people do things. Wrong! That's great, they celebrate when people do things. The best comedians in the French coming to compete tonight to see who is the wrongest of them all. They will compete by telling dark jokes, dirty jokes, dark performances, fuck up stuff. They're going to also play some games, some psychological warfare on our parts, all right? We're going to ask them to fuck with their heads a little bit.

We're going to fuck with your heads a little bit, maybe. We've gone through their old social media. We found things that they forgot that they had up online. It's mean, it's rude. But you know what? It's our last night, so who fucking cares? We don't need any more for us. Show, like I said, where we celebrate things that are wrong.

And our scorekeeper will be keeping track of how funny and fucked up our comics will be. That's Tyler Messnerch in the background. Hey, everybody. How's your guy? They applauded me today, Jay. Wow. This is good. Yeah, the past few days, people have just going to be, like,

confusedly looking back at Tyler. Like, there's a guy back then? I get it. Yeah, I get it. This is a game, we of course, as many game shows do, we want to make sure the audience is as involved as they would like to be. So we're going to give out our first audience prize of the night right now. This is a game called Worst Week. Fucking thing sucks!

So we've had a really fun time, in French. We've been asking people this all the fest. Having things fucked up happened to them. If something fucked up happened to you this week, today, this is your chance. Oh, something. We got something already. first round are you really are you are you willing to volunteer this information for a prize what's your what's your name my name is Eric Eric make sure nice for

Eric everybody oh where you from Sweden okay Sweden nice sweet the sweet we haven't had a sweet yeah first sweet first fucked up things happening in Sweden or here here okay what what fucked up thing happened to you we were hiking and the guide told us that you could drink from not to them on and that is That's not a good idea. You drank out of a fucking lake? I was thirsty, so. See, this is sweet and you probably can't.

You got the fjords up there. You can't drink out of this bog water down here. You can't do that. Yeah, I know this. How's your butt? That's all that to the stage, Jared. Let's take a stand right over there. He's got a shitty bum.

Does anyone else think they've had a more fucked up week than Eric? Anybody think they've had a more fucked up week or day? Anybody, anybody upstairs perhaps. Anyway, right down here, okay, great. What's your name? I'm Alex. Alex. Hi, where are you from, Alex?

Originally California, but I live in London. Nice, very excited. Got out of the right time. Alex, we're going to go and bring you on to the stage. Alex, go ahead and make some noise for Alex. Alex, everybody! So we're going to judge this. Like I said, we've got to find out, sight unseen,

if Alex had a more fucked up week. Alex, what is the fucked up thing that happened to you? Well, we were supposed to be on a direct train from London. Classic Story. And we ended up having to zigzag around the country and it took us over What 11 and a half hours? Yeah To get here from London?

Yeah Oh my gosh We went to Manchester Had to change stations Went to York Had to change trains And then we finally got here It took us 11 and a half hours

Jesus fucking Christ Alright now this is for all the marvell This is for the first Any of Tyler How long was Eric on the bathroom? I need to know that Yeah how long were you on the toilet for Oh

Do you don't know what you know. They won? Oh, boy, okay. All right, we have to get into double-inched hours on that way. Audience, this is your chance to determine who had had the most fucked up week between Alex and Eric. Was it Alex? Yes! Or was it Eric?

We're going to win our big audience prize. Alex, you stay right here because you're also going to get a prize. Tyler, tell them what they've won. Well, okay. Oh, Alex, you get this great prize. Now all prizes were prizes that we previously tried to give away, but no one took. This is The Secret Policeman's Ball. The Secret Policeman's Ball. It's a sketch comedy show for 1976, Volume 1. No one wanted it. I gave it away three times.

Now what's yours. Oh, and Eric, you're gonna love this. I'll try to give it away twice. It's Silver Lions Playbook, the book. The bookers don't read books here, I don't know. I love that for the show. Guys, make so much for Alex and Eric. They win. Yes, you guys can go take your seats again. By the way, usually the audiences have left their prizes behind, as Tyler's alluded to

alluding to, you keep those. We can't take those back to the States with us. It is contraband. Yeah, if somebody wants this shit, please fucking take it from them. I don't want it. Guys, that's time to go ahead and start our game with our comedians. You guys ready to get fucked up? Then let's get fucked up. It is time for our first game. Three of the finest comics that Fringe and the world has to offer here competing tonight. They are, and this is a real special treat because we got comics, performers

from all different disciplines tonight. We have asked them to do their most fucked up material. It might be dirty, it might be dark. Some of it, I have no fucking clue what it's going to be, but I assure you guys it's going to be fucked up. So, here we go on a Sunday night, let's get blasphemous up in this bitch.

Our first contestant has a friend show called Baggage Limit, which makes sense, because it's obvious he's carrying around a lot of extra weight. Oh my god. Makes noise, Lee Hudson, everybody. Emotional and physical weight. There we go.

I have depression. That's fun. What your friends know you have depression though because it really takes the impact out of the phrase, I'd rather kill myself. Because my friends are like, do you want to come to the cinema? And I'm like, I'd rather kill myself. And they're like, we know, do you want to come to the cinema? No, I think one of the reasons I'm depressed is because I'm an unmarried 38-year-old.

And last year, I watched my dad yet. married for the fifth time. It cannot be stopped. I kind of feel like when he arrived at wedding number five, the person officiating the wedding should have acted like a barman, dealing with a drunk and gone, you've had enough man. You really more of these.

It's weird. I've had a lot of stepmums to the point where I'm actually quite traumatised by that category of porn now. I will still watch it though. But it's weird because I'm watching a video of some guy pounding his stepmom and I'm watching it going don't get too attached. My dad's stagdos.

Just picture that, like me, my dad, a bunch of his friends are in a bar, having a drink is casual. All of a sudden one of his friends is like, let's go to a strip club and I'm like, let's not. I don't want to see my dad make it rain with my inheritance. No, he's been divorced four times, there is no inheritance. He's been divorced four times, I'm pretty sure all four divorces were his fault because he's a terrible human being. One of the worst things he ever did, he once got arrested for drink driving with me in the car when I was six years old. Yeah, because that was his idea of parenting when he had custody on a Saturday, just took me to the pub,

he would get really drunk, I would get really good at pool for a six-year-old. That was another one. He was just drive us home. One day, though, blue lights upon the car. A car gets pulled over. One policeman goes around to deal with him, and there's another policeman who comes around to my side of the car and just tries to explain to me a six-year-old what's going on.

Now, I don't know if you've had a conversation with a six-year-old before, but six-year-olds really chatty and really honest. So this policeman was like, we need to speak to your daddy and I was like is it because we've been to the pub? You've been to the pub? I was like we've been in the pub all day! And according to my dad that is the age I became a snitch. Now, terrible human being. I'm pretty sure all four divorces were his fault but if it goes bad with wife number five that shit's on her. I remember when he told me about the woman he was seeing who ended up becoming wife number five it was late 2020.

I met out with my dad for a catch up in between the lockdowns, we went to the pub and he was like just to let you know I'm seeing someone new I was like good for you. X-wife number five lined up you then said something that will haunt me you go something you need to know about her though she's a lot younger than me my dad at the time 60 years old six zero we're gonna play a little game now of higher or lower well you guess how much of a creep you think my old man is we'll start the bidding down here how low do you reckon my dad won't give me an age 40 40 i wish it began with a four fuck that lower what you reckon i wish it began with a three lower Yeah, a 60-year-old dating a 28-year-old.

I'm not sure who's got more daddy issues, me or her. It is a funny quote. My dad actually said to me, he goes, I know this might be weird for you, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I was like, it's a different part of your body that wants this man. I left it there, though. I was like, you both have autism, you're very happy.

You're not hurting anyone, apart from me. It's fine. There we go, just check in the time. But I left it out. I met with him a few months after that, and he's like, I've got some more news to tell you. I'm like, here we go. Wedding number five.

He was like, no, we're having a baby. You've just reacted like that. He's not even your fucking dad, and I didn't know my reaction. I was like, what the fuck? He was like, yeah, we're expecting. I was like, what are you expecting? For some reason, I decided to ask him

if it was planned or not, and he was like, no, it was an accident. I was like, you should have used a condom, and that's the weirdest thing I've ever said to my dad. The baby's born now, though. The baby's here. I'm 38. I have a baby brother.

That's never, not weird. I went to the pub with my dad just after my brother was born. He brought my new baby brother with him, to the pub so we just sat on a table just three of us just me my dad my new infant brother and this woman walks past her she stops looks at us and goes oh look at that three generations I was like no it's not I'm sorry it's very progressive you're a lovely couple I was like it's fucking not that either if anything I'm too old for him it's uh it's just weird situations constantly

though like I remember at one point um I was having a conversation with and I was like, oh, my brother started walking recently. And they were like, was your brother in an accident? I was like, nobody was one. So, thank you, cheers, bye. We're very excited. Your next performer, your next contestant is a musical comedian with songs so catchy that our producers have been singing

I'm serving cunt all week. Go see your show, but see you right now. It's Sarah Hester Ross, everybody. Makes noise. As he said, I'm a musical comedian and I'm from America, which just basically means I'm annoying. And I'm going to say, I don't write jokes. I write five-minute songs that have bits inside of them. But since it's the wrong comedy show, I'm going to start with abortions. Who's poor.

There, bitches, and should be wildly available to anyone who wants one. And if you don't want one, it really should be just that simple. simple. But I do not mind having discussions with people who disagree with me. I really don't. People who don't see eye to eye until they bring religion into it. And I'm like, oh, no, no, you're a cult. But like logical conversations, I'm like ready to go. Like I got this one the other day. They said, Sarah, what if that baby becomes the next, I don't know, icon, like, bar, Stryson or Judy Garland or Lady Gaga to which I responded well then the movie would be called a star is aborted next question I don't get it I am I'm I'm

what the kids are calling these days um TikTok famous anybody have TikTok anybody do TikTok all right you guys are cunts It's fine, it's fine, fuck off. But I am TikTok famous. It's the worst kind of famous, because as you have noticed, it's the kind of fame no one gives a fucking shit about. I have dreams.

Ever since I've got this, like, mediocre rise to stardom on social media, I have had a dream. Go ahead and play that track for me, and I'm going to sing a song for you. And it's a, it's a dream. That I get a call. Could you bump up the track a little bit? Just for it. Yeah. All right. We're gonna do this together. I've never done this song with the track before, so this could be a dumpster fire. My agent gave me some great news a job for you. I was over the moon. He started reading the script. Hey, buddy, what do I get to do? This is what he said. He said, you'll get down on a fours and a pink two-two. Give a drug lord a BJ. Take the load on your face. Then the biker gang pays you to scream and shout

To watch a lipstick lesbian and you may I can see you're confused hold on is the good news Oh about to explode Beyo Yeah it's HB Remember all the Well this is lots of blows from behind Pitch my nipples for an hour

Then they'll lead me to a bathroom For a golden shower On dad's art I'd like to thank the Academy Oh, and my bubby, who taught me everything I know. Miss your cut. A contestant has a show here about being a best man. He just got in from being a best man at his wedding, though.

Something seems a little lost, so be careful. If you invite him to your stag, do, it might become a stag don't. Yeah, you guys are right on that one. Yeah, it sucked. Yeah, Tyler told me that was going to suck before the show. And I was like, no, it won't. They will laugh because it is a reference for the UK specifically. Anyway, fuck me, right?

Hey, how's it going? Hey, how are you? Hey, how are you? Hey, how's it going? Hey, how's it going? Hey, how's it going? First, just to get clear the, let me clear the air here. Not a comedian.

I'm never, this is not me. Best man at my brother's wedding. And I just wanted to try to cringe. My fucking name. I love with a fucking Danny, dude. Dany want to butt chug a whole Keonti up his ass. Okay, so I'm not memorand. Danny, you're gonna let me know how my material's doing.

Okay, so I, uh... Okay, so, uh... Okay, so, uh, so, uh, okay, so, so, uh, my brother's name is Charles, okay? So, I'm gonna, oh, thanks, Danny, what's on? What's up, Danny? What's up, Danny? What's up, Danny? No, we're not gonna do it.

I'm gonna say, as you all probably know, my brother Charles can't really hold his alcohol. You know what I'm back? I'm right to him. For the purposes of this demonstration, you're Charles right now? This is my brother Charles, everybody. I fucking love you, bro. Okay, great.

I don't know if you guys get in the back, it hurt my hand. Okay, so Charles, you can't really hold his alcohol. You're no one on the 19. I remember it, but my daughter Ella certainly does. Oh yeah, don't eat those. Jelly Bean Sweet Eat, they're kidney stones. Wait, is that why you're sober? I don't know he's sober because he hit that kid with his car.

Danny, how am I doing? How's the audience? They're doing great. Okay, hell yeah, let's go, Danny, let's go on it, let's go on it, let's go on it, let's go on it. Okay, uh, okay, so then I'm gonna say, yeah, but Charles, is it really sobriety if you're still smoking that ganya? Yes you are, but nobody who's actually sober eats. said Taco Bell more than twice a year. Okay.

Baja Blast. Do you guys dab here? Yeah. I got the light. That means I have 20 more minutes. Okay. What else? Who here's...

Who here's... Who here's... Who here is Danny? What's up, dude? Okay. All right. So then I'm going to say... Oh, yeah.

Okay, so then Charles, I'm gonna be like, Charles, uh, mom originally bought Charles girls clothes because his penis was so small, the doctor couldn't find it. That's not a joke, just a fact. Danny, what can I say? I lost him. I lost. I'll be an experienced professional, but, um, they just got up and left. Hey, you know what?

It feels like it was my fault. Dig me out of this grave. Dig you out of this grave. The women are coming back. All right. I think I just want to leave it on one thing and it's just like bro I love you dude. There I said it, okay?

It's not gay. I'm a little emotion right now. Okay Jay, I'm done man. So, let's get Lee and Sarah back up here. Come on to you. Anyway. explained to me as they were walking out, there were two white girls, they were like,

I gotta explain it to her. And they said, they just have places to be. It wasn't you. Which means it was you, bitch. Sorry. That is, it was definitely you. They hate you. You know, if I had a nickel for every time,

two women ran away from me saying, I have places to be. Do you guys have nickels here? I just want to clarify. They're alive, right? The women? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I'm not a killer.

Woo! Win! I'm not a killer. Danny, do I kill? Danny some points. Let's give Danny a few points. Danny, you guys be a good. What's everybody doing on the points so far?

Wow, what a round? This is a crazy round. We're all over the place. Lee, 500 points, Mark, 5 points, and Sarah. For the most fucked up set, 600 points for Ian. Wow. I'm going to come back.

What times is my... Dad need to get married to win that right. Yeah. All right, that was just for us. Okay. Folks, it is time to play our next game with our comedians. This is a... More like a stag don't.

It took us all French, and we did have finally... I'm gonna go until all of you leave. It did take us the whole festival. We did finally book a guy with a worst tie than I did. I am finally excited for that. Yeah! All right guys, this is a game called Entweetment. This is our next game. Yeah.

We love game. No. I'm very excited. So what we've done here is we have gone through everybody's old social media. We've gone through their tweets. We have found things that they have said that they probably forgot that they said. Things from years ago. We got stuff in here from 2012 tonight. Great year.

Options on the screen. We got a few options for each comic. One of them will be real. Two of them will be fake. And their job is to guess and see if they can figure out which one is real and which one is not. We're going to start off with one of mine. of mine because I'm sure you all are feeling a little nervy. How are you guys feeling?

I just want to say that I love the Asian community and I didn't... It was good. I regret nothing. I've been locked out of my Twitter for three years. It was hacked three years ago. So I literally have no idea what's going on with my Twitter. So I also love the Asian community in different ways, I guess. I can't imagine not standing.

by anything I've ever said before. I can't imagine saying something that I would find disagreeable. And just for, how do you feel about the Asian community? Just say things I clarify for everybody. No comment. Well, we're going to start off with one of mine. We're starting off with one of mine here. This is from 2019.

Now, I never know what these are. My producers always find something. I never know what it is. All I know is the year. 2019, August 20th, 2019, which is five days after my birthday, I was here, last time I was here in French. I know that that's what's going on.

Let's see that tweet. Okay, all right. Spicy, fucking spicy. For our last day, how dare you guys? How dare you do this to me on my last? Boom, my producers real quick. Okay, cheer for my producers. My producers are fucking diabolical.

You can cheer for the producer. You better than the UK, blank. One favorite. Yeah, one fake, one retweet. I tweeted this at 2.42 AM. Something must have gone horribly wrong. Um, I don't know what this is.

So let's see some options. Option one. America will always be better than the UK. At pronouncing words like advertisement and aluminum. And don't you dare try to argue with me, you blimey cunts. Option two. America will always be better than the UK. Because we have the double quarter pounder year round

and not for a limited time only. I don't play that McRib bullshit. Okay, there we go. A couple people know. We have the double quarter pounder permanently now. So maybe it was that one. listened. I hope so. The one person you're like this from McDonald's corporate. It was the change that happened in the world. Congratulations. I'm sorry to just call out the elephant in the room. Why aren't we calling it the half pound? Option three. I'm scared. America America will always be better than the UK at customer service. Just saying our waiters smile and have way more patience because if I don't tip them they will die in poverty. That's a good job.

That's a good joke. That's a good joke. Yeah, you guys actually pay your staff of a fucking living wage year. Great joke on America. Great joke for us. We're the worst. Yeah.

I feel like I have an inkling of which one this is. Lee? I think I actually remember that tweet, and I think it was number one. Was that tweet while you hung out? Oh my God. At some point. Yeah.

Okay. Number one from Lee. Sarah, what about you? I mean, I also agree. This is a really good joke, and so I'm going to go with three. Okay. It's funny.

Thank you. They didn't think so. I'm glad you did. Thank you so much. Fuck you guys. I'm gonna say it's the half-pounder one. And I'm sorry, but should I be calling McDonald's corporate right now and we be calling it a half-pounder? Hey, Jay, what do all these blimely cunts think? Yeah, what do you guys think?

Who thinks, it makes no way that it's number one. What about number two? Number two. Baccony, Backey, Backey. What about number three? Hardly know her. I was gonna say that, but then I was like, nah, some white guy's gonna do it for me.

I feel like I'm with Lee. I feel like this might be number one, but let's find out. Mark, good job, Bart. I feel so powerful. He's rule winners. Yes, we are. Let's give ourselves a hand for those

fucking blimmy tons of McDonald's. All right, Lee, we're moving on to your tweet, buddy. Ha, ha, Lee Hudson. This is a tweet we found of yours, May 13th, 2021. Yes. Yes. Right in the thick of things, we got our option here. It's going to be blanked out. I love it so far.

Yeah. If you masturbate, blank. One like. No retweets. Wasn't it your like it? Did you like it? To be fair, I remember this one because this was a joke and it did amazing on Reddit. What an incredible thing this day. You've got to get it cross-platform, you know? That's how you do it. That's how you do. Now we're going to show some options here. Lee, remember this, so don't say it till the very end, because Sarah and Mark will get a chance to guess first. Let's see what we got.

Option one. If you masturbate while listening to the Joe Rogan podcast, you might need to see a doctor about your testosterone levels. I could see that doing well on Reddit. The girlies lover of a joke, broken podcast joke. Option two. If you masturbate on a 5G signal, it makes your dick shrink. That's why I only jerk off using a landline. I got a

Landline, I'm so young. We got British Telecom. Loving it up in the corner up here. Option three. If you masturbate using the arm you just got vaccinated in, it feels like Bill Gates is doing it. Wow.

Fuck, dude. It's pretty good. Pretty good options. Mark, which one do you all think is the real tweet? Feel free to help him out. I'm going to go with one because I love a good insult. to Joe Rogan. That's my, that's my bread and butter.

Gives me a little tinkle in my nipples. I would never insult my king. Bill Gates, yeah, I'm sorry, Bill Gates. I mean, that joke is fucking just good. I don't have any commentary. That's a good joke. That's a good joke. One favorite.

Lee, what do you think is a real tweet? It was the last one. Yeah! Wasn't John Reddard. You wouldn't like it tonight. That's where all the anti-vaxes are, so. All right, we're going to move on to Sarah. Sarah has to Ross.

I really don't know when you can possibly find. I'm also surprised, because you said your Twitter had your Twitter have been locked out for three years. Three years. I haven't had access to my Twitter. Well, this is a tweet from two years ago. This is from 2022. It's just going to be advertising crypto, isn't it? I've been hacked.

Let's see what we got. What does it say? We should. Blank. Slavery. Likes, it's actually really great. For in tweeter numbers, that's pretty fucking solid. How did it do on Reddit?

I've actually never gone on Reddit. I'm scared. I don't know, can't. So you don't remember this one, of course. I have no idea when this is. In 2022? Yeah. Let's see some options.

Sarah, if you think you see the real one, don't see it till the very end. Option one. The only downside to getting it to have cool stuff like iPhones? Slavery. Think about it. It's true.

This poor kids. Tradition is nice, but you know what else was a family tradition? Slavery. Uh-oh. I don't know about that one. That sounds too self-aware for a white woman. Especially one with three names. Option three.

Taylor Swift better remember where she came from. Generations of whites profiting off slavery. Jesus Christ This is what we get to Drop the capture for it Alright, you're gonna get a chance to guess in a sec Lee and Mark I think it goes

Lee first go I mean I find it hard Would insult T Swift That's uh You know But it does feel That one feels more natural

The way it's written I'm gonna go with number one I reckon iPhones All right iPhone Safe bet Mark? Three. Three.

Okay, we're saying three, because it's true. It's true. Everybody in the north thinks they're so much better, but they're factories and their banks. Thomas Jefferson. Do you guys have that here? Sarah?

Sarah, which one's a real tweet? Do you remember? I think it's two. I don't know. Seriously, I created a new Twitter just for fringe because I don't, I don't know. I'm gonna go with two, I think. Let's see, is it number two? By our three tradition, they ask you what do you drink? Fuck y'all. Tradition. No. Why you're chill?

There was a very aggressive way to yell that in the middle of the show. Also Jewish. It's fine Jew in the front row. I'm also Jewish. Okay. You know, let's make some points for the Jews. Let's make a clap for the Jews. I feel comfortable. Yeah. For Mark's tweet. I have nothing to be ashamed of. This is one from 2012 that we have found for Mark. Very excited about this one.

February 15th, 2012. Blank. Sex with my sister. Blank. No faves I'd like to emphasize that Mark told us he deleted a bunch of tweets before the show but this one slipped through the cracks Yeah February 15 Day after Valentine's Whatever it is I stand by at 100%

I'm pretty sure Game of Thrones was based off of this country Sister fucker Yeah, siblings That's incredible someone yells sister fucker 30 people were like, yeah, same time. What a last night of French, right? What a great show for.

Wow, this is great. Let's go and bring up. My sis. All right. Sex with my sister, but she incested most animals. Oh, shit. Have you ever seen a duck have sex? It doesn't count as sex with my sister if I have to finish myself.

Sister fucking philosopher. My sister boned like a hundred dudes and nobody care. But then I have sex with my sister. and all of a sudden people. 5.42 a.m. Valentine's Day. After Valentine's Day. Oh, my God.

All right. So we need, yeah, people, what audience? What do we think? One? That's impossible, but I like your gumption. He's a sister. Yeah, well, let's see if he's a sister fucker. Lee is he.

I'm going to go with one. Okay. I'm also going to go with one. Yeah, that's the best. Mark. It's one. It's one. Announcement to me. I have never had sex with my sister, you guys.

I'm sorry. Fuck your sister, pussy. Right after this show. Oh, no. It makes noise for all of our contests. We have got one more game our comics are going to be playing. This is a fun one. This is a game.

Hold on a second. I'm sorry. Has anybody here been on the incest subreddit? Posts that are like, what's the problem, you guys? Why do everyone hate us? I think we got to write that down for a new game, Tyler. Just make a note of that.

Yeah, yeah. Jobs. But AI is not as good as humans. I think we can all agree on that. And here's how we know, because we have one of our favorite jobs, one of our favorite jobs in the States, one of the favorite jobs here in the UK,

the advice columnist, the agony aunt, someone who is there to be a shoulder to cry on, to be a shoulder to get advice on. We know that a robot will give deliberately bad advice. but we also know that our performers can give worse advice than a fucking robot. So this is a game called Fear Abbey. We should shorten that sound cue next time. We should shorten that fucking...

I liked it too, but it's a little too long. Guys, this is a show. We have got our comedians here ready to give you guys bad advice because we also have Fear Abbey, our robot advice, calling us, ready to give bad advice as well. It's time to find out who is going to beat the bot and give worse advice. We're going to start off

We need some audience members Who need some advice Is there anyone out here Who needs to get some advice Who needs some advice? Yes You're the best Okay Tyler

Who's gonna start off Which of our performance Is gonna start off? Nothing involving fucking your sister By the way No problem Let's do Lee Who Lee?

Let's do Lee Yeah Lee sounds good Okay So what is your name? All right Makes noise for Rob Everybody Robb what do you need

advice about? Fuck Oh, you forgot. How do you remember what you need? How do you remember things better? I think that's what we need advice on for Rob. Is how to improve your memory? Sure, yeah.

Great. Okay. Lee, you're going to give Rob some advice on how to improve his memory and try and beat the body. Remember, this is deliberately bad advice. You're trying to give bad advice to Rob on how to improve his memory.

Go ahead and stand and deliver. Make so nice with Lee Hudson, everybody. I didn't tell me there before. Write it on Reddit. Post it on Reddit. It's like a journal, but everyone can see it. That's my advice on that one. It's fucking, put on Reddit. Put it on the most in-celly subredits as well. They're the best ones. This is not a Reddit crowd, is it? Fuck you lot. No, I don't know. I don't know what else to say for memory.

Okay. He doesn't know. He doesn't remember. Tyler, what did the robot say? Well, all right. Robot is thinking a little bit, Jay, but here, this is basically what it said. It says, if you want bad advice on how to improve your memory, you should not remember things. I feel like that's a double loss. No, that's just me. This is me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I feel like both the robot and Lee did not give good, bad advice on that one.

How do we feel? Do we feel like the robot gave worse advice? Oh, wait, I got it. I just came through. I got it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The robot is here. The robot is here and have to read it immediately.

Okay. Read it. Never write anything down. relying on your memory alone will make it stronger. Multitask constantly. Try to focus on as many things as possible. Skip sleep. Don't sleep ever again.

Stay up and study all night. Who needs sleep? Avoid repeating or reviewing anything you've learned. If it's important, you'll remember it eventually. So... Now that's pretty fucking bad advice. It's terrible. That was dumb.

Makes noise if you think Lee beat the bot. Do we think Lee beat the bot? Do we think the bot beat Lee? I'm gonna go fuck it, sister. We're going to move on to a next advice. Who needs some advice? Who needs some advice from Sarah Hesteros? Yes, right here, right here.

What is your name? James. James. And what do you need advice on, James? I really need a toilet, but I'm really bad social etiquette, so I don't know when the best time to go is. Okay. So you need to go to the toilet, but you don't know,

you don't know the polite, the most polite time to go to the toilet. Yes. Okay, definitely wait until after we give advice on this exact question. Could I ask what type of toilet? Bladder swelling. Bladder swelling. So it feels like you might have to shit because you have to pee so bad.

Yeah, my top button's already on second point. Your top button. I didn't know there was something you could do to stop peeing. I thought it was just for if you got too full. It's in the extreme, yeah. Oh, I see. Okay. So how do we turn back?

How do we make it so that way you can leave to pee at a correct time? Do we feel like that? Tyler, is that what you're asking the robot? Yeah, I got it, I got it. Okay, great. Sarah, you're going to offer some advice up. Make some noise for Sarah. James, was it?

James. Hold it. Hold it forever. Hold it and suck it in. And just keep sucking it in. Yeah, go do it with me. I don't have one, but I'm pretty sure your penis can. go inside of you.

Shut up, I know this. Okay, I, no, and just suck it. Just keep sucking it in. James, keep doing it with me. Come on, we're doing this together. And hold it. Don't be fucking rude. That's my problem.

Tyler, what is the robot's bad advice? The robot says, burst it in the room and announce, I'm about to. have a bathroom emergency where's the nearest toilet or skip asking entirely entirely and just start going I mean it's pretty solid Sarah beat the bot do we feel like Sarah beat the butt nice work I did enjoy that keegel class for gummies that was good guys I'm gonna sell that shit eagles stag don't there you go come on eagles is

better. That was way better. Mark, it's time for you to get bad advice. Who needs some advice? You need some advice from Mark. Who wants some advice? Who needs some advice? Oh, Alex. All right. Alex, we got some advice for you. What do you need advice on? How do I legally stay in the UK?

How do you legally stay in the UK without a work visa? Easy. Okay, Alex. Let a rip. Oh, shit. Okay. Alex, here's what you need to do. You need to do.

Have you seen Face Off? It's an American movie. What you do is you need to find a UK citizen. You've got to peel off this skin with a knife. And you've got to peel it off. But have you ever seen that show alone? It's a competition show where people survive in the wild. It's okay.

It's all right. You peel off their skin, but delicately you don't want the skin to fray too much. Skin is delicate. And you pull off, you flay them, okay? Then what you're gonna need to do with that skin is kind of beat it so all of the moisture gets out of it? You want to tan it just like a hide. Okay, you want to stretch it across like a big, you know, you want to get it completely across. Then what you're going to need to do is you're going to peel off your own skin, okay?

You're going to peel off your own skin. Now it's important that this skin is a little bit bigger than the skin of your own skin because there will be shrinkage. and you want some overlap so that the sewing can happen. Now, it's going to hurt a lot when... Two more people left. Okay. Okay, where was I? Okay, so when you take the other skin,

it's going to hurt a lot. Have you seen inside out, boy? Okay, so you flay yourself, and then you put the skin on, and you sew it back on. And now comes the assimilation part. You're going to have to go into... to a very hot room and bake the skin onto yourself.

Bake it onto yourself, okay? It's got to be at least 200 degrees Fahrenheit. Do you have that here? Okay, and then what you do is you have to steal their identity and make sure that you know, you learn how to speak just like them, and then it's easy. And then you stay here, you've got their citizenship,

and the last thing you have to do is make sure you... their sister. Hard. This microphone smells like blood. That's pretty fucking great, bad advice. I'm so concerned at how easily you reeled all that off. No, you're definitely a murderer.

It's like 100% you're a murderer. Tyler, what did the bot say? All right, Jay, I got you. The boss says march straight to an immigration office and confidently declare that you've decided to stay permanently. All right.

Break openly to everyone you meet about how you found a way to stay illegally, confidence will make you seem invincible. Forge an official-looking visa with crayons and proudly present it to anyone who asks. I honestly feel like taking off someone else's skin and putting it over your own will make you seem more invincible than confidence. So I feel like, did Mark beat the bot? Mark be the bot, everybody. Guys, that has been Fear Abbey.

Make some noise for all of our contestants. Who are the scores. I haven't heard the scores. Tyler's about to tabulate the final scores. See how everybody's doing. Calm down, bro. Jesus. I just want to win. This is all he has.

I have nothing. He left. He's all out of sisters to fuck. I know. It's sad, right? Who wants to be this guy's sister? fuck tonight. Yeah, you can always adopt.

Everybody booed Tyler. That was pretty fucking bad. Blood on your shirt. That's the question I always ask. There is literally blood on the back of his shirt. That's how hot you fucked his sister. The harder, she's on her, period. She wasn't.

They're loving this. Notably, nobody else has walked out during the blood sister fucking part. So pretty fucking, you guys ready, you have the palm of our hands. Guys, perfect time actually for this final round. This is the palate cleanser rounds. Because we've said a lot of fucked up things tonight.

Wouldn't you agree? We said a lot of fucked up stuff tonight. Yes, Danny knows. Danny was about to clap for the fucked up stuff. Thanks, Danny. I love you, Danny. But we want you to get it out of here because we have our wonderful performers

are going to do more friend shows. You should go see their shows. We want you to make sure you got a nice, clean palette when you do. So they're each going to tell us one clean, wholesome Joe, while Tyler tallies the scores. We're going to start off with Lee. Hudson. Makes no matter for Lee, everybody. I don't really have wholesome jokes, so this

will be the closest I can get to it. I'm fat, if you can't see. I'm so fat, I once decided to go and visit the oldest McDonald's in the world in America. Yeah, it's a fat thing to do. That's a religious pilgrimage for me. That is my meca.

My Macca, if you will. There we go. So I do have a wee bit, a wee song of some sort that is my cleanest material basically it's the idea that women have a lot of thoughts we

bitch we think a lot and so and they come at really inopportune times you know like don't moan too loud he's gonna think you're crazy how long is this thing

gonna take was this worth the money stop it girl you deserve this When was the last time these sheets were water and ten my These are the thoughts I have massage Okay, so one time I stepped barefoot on a wet condom in my parents' bedroom And it was after my mom went through menopause and I just told this story at my family reunion You guys were there and everybody was like this is my most wholesome joke and

Everyone was like, oh, maybe mom and dad just liked condoms. They're 75. And I told this story to a TikToker at Bristow Square, and she said, oh, it's probably because they were doing anal. Oh. And that's, I only told that for you too. Parents did anal, and I got to step in it. This is indeed, wholesome, fun for the whole family. Good job.

It is time. That has been our show. That has been our game. And all of our contestants are about to win some big prize. It's been a great game and some of these prizes are changing. I'm changing them on the fly so stay. Pay attention. Alright, third place with 1100 points.

It's Lee Hudson by Lee Hudson by Lee Hudson by Lee. It's for because we give it out because look, it's probably because it has a Nazi swastika on it. There it is tropes. Songs about TV songs and the TV show about Nazis I guess. That's for you. Thank you. Play to go, Jews. We survived. Thank you.

And in first place. Now this man has promised me that if I let him win, he won. If I let him win, he will tell the police where his sister is. When my Lee Green win. One more prize. Danny, I think, deserves an audience prize. No, I think Dan deserves a part during the show, and we have had to gap tape it back together.

And this is the last time I will ever wear the shoe, because this is now yours, my friend. Congratulations. Like shack shoe. As part of our contestants, they will also get this to get out-cancellation-free card. It's right inside those sleeves. Anything you say or do at this show will be saved.

Just turn that card into your next Hollywood meeting. We got you covered. You guys, make some noise for a wonderful contest. That's show of Brong and Fringe. You guys have been an absolutely incredible crowd. Thank you so much, everybody. Make an noise for us. You guys been wonderful.

Thank you, everyone. If you follow us on Instagram, you can see all of our contestants. All of our shows have been great. All of their shows have been great. And if you had paid a ticket already when he came in, thank you so much if you're doing pay what you want. My wife will be outside with the bucket and the contact list. I have spent all of our honeymoon money on this trip.

She is probably going to divorce me after that. Probably gonna divorce me after this. So drop a little in there, help us offset or at least hire some good divorce lawyers. You guys been fucking great. I love you guys, Emperor Prince. Thank you so much.

Have a great.