WRONG! A Fucked Up Game Show - LET THE AIDS RUN RAMPANT (ft. Gabby Lamb, Garrick Bernard, Jared Goldstein)

Episode Date: July 11, 2025

Filmed live at The Comedy Store in Los Angeles, CA on May 28th, 2025.OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS: Gabby Lamb, Garrick Bernard, Jared GoldsteinSUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE to watch full shows in glorious HD!⁠...⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠COME SEE US LIVE!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Upcoming Shows:SAN DIEGO: 7/19 @ Mic Drop Comedy Club, 10 PMLOS ANGELES: 7/30 @ The Comedy Store, 8 PMSUPPORT THE SHOW: https://ko-fi.com/wronggameshowFOLLOW EVERYONE:WRONG! http://www.instagram.com/wronggameshowGabby Lamb https://www.instagram.com/gabbylamby/Garrick Bernard https://www.instagram.com/garrickbernardJared Goldstein https://www.instagram.com/heyjaredhey/podcast art by Melanie Meisner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:01 Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Wrong, a fucked-up game show podcast edition. I'm your host Jay Light. And today, we've got another episode from the Comedy Store. That's right, folks. It is time to get back to our home with an incredible show that we recorded at the end of May. Now live, ready to pump right into your ears. This one's got Gabby Lamb, Garrick Bernard, Jared Goldstein, and holy shit. It's a great episode. Let's just get right into it. If you want to come see the show live, we got ticket links in the show notes for our July 19th show in San Diego at Mike Drop. And our July 30th show back at the Comedy Store, which is where this show that you're about to hear right here, right now, is coming to you from Let's Get Wrong. Every word of what you just said is wrong. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
Starting point is 00:00:57 Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Nothing wrong with this stuff at all. Because it's wrong.
Starting point is 00:01:05 I keep it going for my man in the corner, Tyler Meznerich. Oh, hello. Hello. Announter, scorekeeper, prize master, extraordinaire. That's true. Tyler and I, we just came back from Tor. It's our first show back in L.A. in about a month. I got this tie. I brought this back just for you guys from the roads.
Starting point is 00:01:46 It's disgusting. Got this at a, what's it fucking called? Salvation Army. Salvation Army. In Pendleton, Oregon, right next to a flyer for N.A. meetings. So this is great. Shout out to Save the Children for making this tie.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I'm a good person. And special shout out to Morgan for drawing this tie, age six. Very nice. Tyler, we have got more great prizes, by the way. Yeah, we do. Tell them what they got. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:02:14 We have a lot of stuff for Maxwell Farms. Maxwell Farms. Yeah, makes noise for Maxwell Farms. You guys like drugs? I got drugs. We love giving away drugs to good audience members. This guy, you have the best laugh in the room, by the way. So what's your name?
Starting point is 00:02:29 Oleg. Oleg's getting some fucking drugs right now. Here you go. You can have an edible for Oleg. Good catch J. Chaco chip, 150 milligrams. I have some pre-rolls. I have some mushrooms. Microdose mushrooms.
Starting point is 00:02:43 We'll see. You guys keep being good audience members, and we will take care of you tonight. You guys are a great crowd. I can already tell. games shows. Purple. Now this is a game show, but not like every other game show.
Starting point is 00:02:58 On most games shows, you like it when people do things right, not here. We like it when people do things wrong. Wow. That is a good, we gotta get this guy's some fucking drugs. Tyler, what's he got? Here, have a pre-roll. Have a pre-roll. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Follow Maxwell Farms on Instagram at Maxwell Farms. And follow this guy's sweet. We like it when people do things. Wrong. And we are going to be getting very, very wrong tonight. We have brought some of the finest comics in the city to get wrong. They are going to be going into some dark, dirty, fucked up places. Not just with their material.
Starting point is 00:03:37 We have looked up things about them. We have found things that they probably forgot that they posted online and we are going to be digging it back up for your entertainment tonight. This show is psychological warfare for your entertainment. That's what it's all about. That's what we're here to do. I love it. This crowd is in pain, and I love that.
Starting point is 00:03:58 This is great. We have some great comics tonight, and we are going to start out by finding what they think is fucked up with the first round. Let's get fucked up. We have got five contestants starting off this round.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Five contestants who are going to be doing fucked up material. Only three are going to move on the next round. I know. The stakes are high and Tyler is probably going to be higher after eating one of those edibles from actual
Starting point is 00:04:34 farms. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I did. I did a microdose and watched the movie sinners. It was a great time. That's all. That's all. That's all. Great time. We've got five great contestants. They're going to do fucked up material for you guys. That's what we've asked. They're going to be doing stuff. It might be dark. It might be dirty, but it will definitely be.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Great. You guys are on fucking board already. Let's keep that energy going. for our first contestant. She is self-described on her backup Instagram account as always in trouble. Make some noise for Gabby Lamb everybody. It's Gabby Lamb. How many ladies we got in here tonight? Do y'all ever suck dick and think,
Starting point is 00:05:32 this is a man's job? I see a clap in the back. It really, dude, there's somebody so fucking masculine about it. There really is. It's very like, I don't know, it's like very blue collar, you know? It's very like, oh, lew, like, it's very much like working on the railroad energy. You know what I mean? It really is.
Starting point is 00:05:54 It looks fucking old. It's like, I don't know. Get handsy. I don't know. I hate sucking dick. I fucking hate it, dude. I hate it. This shit sucks so bad.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Also, I'm like, how do women, why do we have to do it? You know? Like, we get paid less. than men. We gotta get pregnant and give birth and fuck our pussies and our tits all up. And we gotta suck dick. Hey, what's in it for us? Huh? A mouthful of cum. Ugh? So gross. I hate cum. It tastes so bad. It tastes like gasoline and bong water and cigarettes. Every time I have it in my mouth, my eyes water, because I'm trying not to throw up and I know that guys are like oh she's probably just choked her out with my fat
Starting point is 00:06:47 hot and I'm like actually no it's because it tastes like you've never eaten a vegetable in your entire fucking life eat a green bean if I would never say that I suck dick all the time I have to I got a suck dick I don't have any tits and when you don't have tits you got to suck dick those are the rules I don't know why I don't know why they just are And if you're a lady in here, you got big old tits and you're still sucking dick. Stop it. Stop it. You don't have to do it.
Starting point is 00:07:25 Don't let him degrade you like that, queen. No. Big tits, you're so powerful with big tits. Not me. I got to get in line with the rest of the titless bitches. Show him the old razzle-dazzle. Yes, I do. So fucking gross, dude.
Starting point is 00:07:50 Does anybody really enjoy it? Yeah, I didn't think so. But you know, you know when we do it, we have to be like, yummy, I can't wait to, you know? So pick me, women, we're all so pick me. I gotta talk to you guys about some other disgusting shit, I guess. I'm on only fans, thank you so much. fans, thank you so much. Not all heroes wear capes. Ah, I got to do, mama's got to eat.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Mama's got to eat. I got to make, honestly like right before I came here, I was at home making a disgusting dildo video. I was like, it's so gross. I hate, I hate it. And like, a hundred guys message you a day and they're like, can I watch you come? And I'm like, you never will because I fake it. But yeah, you know, I'd be like, yeah, ah. Anyway, anyway, this will tie. Okay, so a couple, Last year, I got pregnant. And when I told my friends, I was like, all of my friends were like, you can't. You can't have a kid.
Starting point is 00:09:01 And I was like, you guys don't think I could be a mom? And they were like, no offense, but your card was declined on a parking meter like last week. I was like, okay, I didn't think you needed a parking meter to raise a baby, but they were like, yeah, But you need more than $4.50. Whatever. Fungental ass bitches, dude.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Anyway, I'm like asking the universe for a sign. I was like, do I get an abortion? What do I do? You know? And then I log into my only fans. And I get a message from a guy. And he's like, hey, do you think you could send me a video of yourself? Spreading your asshole open, looking into the camera and saying,
Starting point is 00:09:45 I want you to come in my ass king. And I said, I have to get an abortion. I can't bring a baby into this world. Men are dangerous. You guys are, you all belong in jail. You really do. And on the way out of the clinic, I go up to the cat.
Starting point is 00:10:15 and I was like I am nervous because I was like this is going to be so expensive I don't know and I say to her you know how much do I owe you boss and she was like oh you you have Medi-Cal you're on poor people insurance it's free and I was like excuse me free like on the house she was like yeah it's free I said I will be bad. Are you serious? I'll be fuck, hell yeah. I'm gonna send all my friends here, too. You guys got punch cards? All right, I'll see you soon.
Starting point is 00:11:00 All right, you guys, that's been it for me. I'm Gabby Lamb. Gabby! Gabby. Awful rude to you to send her messages like that on Onlyfance, Tyler. Come on now. Oh, he doesn't have response for that. He was gonna be ready. Let's go to meet our next contestant, shall we?
Starting point is 00:11:24 He was recently married and even more recently divorced. Make some noise for Abby Robes, everybody. One more time for fucking scumbag. Oh, that's good. Yeah, I got divorced. It was cool, though. I just went on a trip to Hawaii.
Starting point is 00:11:48 So I was fun, at least, you know? Yeah, it's cool. We'll talk about that later. It's nice that we're here watching live comedy. You know, enjoying a real estate. human experience. Most people are just laying on their couch scrolling on TikTok and stuff. No, you guys. No way. No, you guys look like more of a Facebook Reels kind of crowd. If you know what I mean. If you don't understand why that's funny, you're a fucking
Starting point is 00:12:15 boomer. That's why. Facebook Reels is the dark web for boomers. Their fucking boomer brains can't handle that level of addictive stimulation. They just go to arguably, politics all day. Any video you see on Facebook Reels, it can be a video of like a cartoon cat dancing around. You open the comment section is warfare. Top comments. I bet fucking Joe Biden's cat can't dance as good as this
Starting point is 00:12:41 fucking cat does. So the next guy's like, they're fucking eating the cats in Ohio dude. I'll tell you what. You guys remember when they banned TikTok for a day? Yeah, that was cool. My buddy got real excited about, too excited he embarrassed himself. He doesn't know how algorithms work
Starting point is 00:13:00 and more he watches you that kind of thing. It's my buddy's like, man, fuck TikTok, dude. TikTok sucks. How come every video on TikTok? It's just nothing about black guys shaking their dicks in front of the camera. Like, every video? Just black guy after black guys shaking their dicks?
Starting point is 00:13:18 I'm like, not on my phone, bro. You know how the algorithm works? He's like, I don't like those kinds of videos. I'm like, you jerk off to them, no. That's okay. Just be a gay guy, you know? I just went I just got back from Hawaii I was there doing a show just hanging out and everyone there fucking sucks not gonna lie overrated not a cool place everyone talks
Starting point is 00:13:47 to me like I'm an idiot because I don't know how to pronounce the ridiculous sounding names of their little towns on the island I'm like how to hey how do I get to this place right here holocah they're like you mean uluca-punukabunukudaka ani like yeah that one he's like you can't believe you don't know how to pronounce hulukab-blik-hani. I'm going to go, okay. You don't make fun of me for not knowing how to pronounce that, and I won't make fun of you when you come to the mainland
Starting point is 00:14:15 and try to make a phone call on a coconut, okay? Are we even? And on the flight back, I got stuck in the poo seats, you know, the poo seats on the plane, where you're, like, sitting next to that, you know? You fucking... Smel people. people shit the whole time.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Trying to distract myself watching a movie on the back seat or the plane. I'm too ADD, I can't focus on a movie on the airplane seat, but a movie on an airplane seat through the cracks in the row ahead of me? That's my shit right there. I'm a little airplane screen cock, dude. I'm just staring through.
Starting point is 00:14:58 So just enjoying other people's screens, you know? Good time. So I'm trying to watch this movie, right? And his lady tries to use a bathroom and decides to take up yoga for the first time in her whole life. And she starts stretching in my face. And there's no softer way to describe her
Starting point is 00:15:19 than she's like a big fat fucking Karen. Like there's just... I know that's abrasive and it makes me sound like a dick, but that's just what she was. And then she starts stretched in my face and stomach's like this far from my face. So I very politely look up at her.
Starting point is 00:15:36 I go, excuse me, do you want backing up a little bit? You really my personal bubble. I swear to God, she looks down to me, and she goes, I can stand wherever the fuck I want to stand. I'm like, this bitch, dude. So I go, hey, you're being really fucking rude right now. And then she goes, yeah, if you don't like it, how about you jump off the fucking plane that?
Starting point is 00:16:02 Sometimes life gives you these moments where you either rise to the occasion and or you think of the funny comeback like four days later as you're drifting off to sleep, you know? Not this time, I fuck, I was ready, dude. I was like, yeah? I'd tell you to jump off the plane too. But you couldn't fit through the door, you fat bitch. Not her ass. Now, I've done a lot of therapy.
Starting point is 00:16:34 12-step program. I follow Jay Shetty on Instagram. I read a pamphlet on booed I understand you got to turn the other cheeks sometimes. But when I think about her face, when I said she couldn't fit through the fucking
Starting point is 00:16:48 door, I get this, like, warm feeling in my chest. They got to update the Bible, like turn the other cheek unless she's like a fat bitch on airplay. My elbow is dirty enough. for you guys. All right. I can
Starting point is 00:17:06 talk shit about Jews and talk about how I love Kanye and all that, but I'm not going to do that. Thank you guys. My name is Appiah Ropeirs. Abby Romerz, everybody. Abby Romerovers. That is the stuff. All right. Let's go and move on to our next contestant. If you like
Starting point is 00:17:26 our next contestant, you can book an axe-throwing session with her. That is real. Oleg, you had an axe. Oleg immediately whipped his head back. Oleg wants to throw the fucking axes. Let's do it. Make some noise for Allison Vastano, everybody.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Alessie McDonough! Are we a nicotine audience? We get a nicked up in here or what? I'm addicted. It's bad. I've been using zins as tampons. Fucking throwing, you know, they start, the Sixers stop hitting in the gums.
Starting point is 00:17:58 You gotta do it underdecker, you know what I'm saying? You know, I didn't know that. Guys don't even know about that shit. You can't get cancer in your labia, I checked. Um, even if you could, give me labia cancer. You know what I'm saying? That's just the crust. You can cut the.
Starting point is 00:18:13 that shit off. I don't... The hell I wish I had cancer in it. Free labia removal? Hell yeah. I'm packing the mint ones in there. It feels like my pussy just brushed his teeth. Um... I have a new pet peeve, and it's those people that wear acne stickers in public? Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:18:33 I had acne for a decade of my life, okay? When you... those people, it's always someone that has one pimple, you know what I mean? Just walking around flexing on people. who actually have acne all day. It's rude, okay? And yeah, obviously I'm bitter, okay? Because never did I have 25 pimples on my face and go, you know what I make this better?
Starting point is 00:18:56 If there were stars all over them. Yeah, why don't we make them fucking glow in the dark too, okay? That way I can walk around looking like a five-year-old's bedroom ceiling every day. Cool, thank you. No, actual acne is sad. You have to go to the dermatologist and someone lady bullies you, okay?
Starting point is 00:19:15 I went to see the doctor and she diagnosed me with unhealthy levels of testosterone, which is arguably kind of my entire vibe, I'm not going to lie. Just fucking vaping and flexing and creating pimples,
Starting point is 00:19:31 okay? I'll make a pimple right now. It's on my labia, okay. No, she didn't even do blood work on me. I was like, oh, aren't you supposed to run tests or whatever? And she goes, no, I can tell it's testosterone causing your acne because see how it's forming in the shape of a beard? Is this a roast? And your tits are small. How about that? Oh, I'm diagnosing you with small tits
Starting point is 00:20:03 disease. You're going to die, okay? Put two little stars on her nipples. I should have known I had too much testosterone on my own, probably. Not just because of these pants and my entire outfit, but just based on the fact that the only time I've cried in the past two years has been listening to the Joe Rogan podcast. That and I like to pee standing up, but... Alert from your VPN. No network. Okay, sick.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Boomer type shit. I love dressing like this and pretending I'm not 34. and like, okay, anyway, where are we going? Yeah, I'd be standing up, but that's probably like just a cool personality trait, right? Great, thank you. I just go into the men's restroom. I show my prescription and my 12-inch clit
Starting point is 00:20:58 and we tap up. I'm like, pull a zinn out of my pussy. I'm like, let's get out of here. I don't believe in God. I'm a godless whore. Yeah, I'm not trying to brag. I just think it's interesting because I grew up in the church. And I went every single week, and even as a kid, I don't have a single lucid memory believing in God.
Starting point is 00:21:21 What a dog shit church. Went to one of these white people churches with terrible leadership. Like, how fucking bad do you have to be at your job that you can't even convince a child that God is real? Bro, I believe in Santa, get a new job. I mean, and also like as a kid at a white, a full white church, you're sitting in, you know, the service, you're at ass height, right? And I'm just looking out to a sea of flat asses. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, I feel like the miracle of the Lord isn't in the room with us right now.
Starting point is 00:21:54 I feel like I might believe in him if I just saw like two butt cheeks in my life. Also, like the big thing, the reason why I didn't respect the adults, especially like my Sunday school teachers, because she was always trying to scare me about hell, you know? And I think if you're trying to scare kids about hell, you better be fucking mistrunchable, okay? You better be a badass bitch. No, I had a crying lady, okay?
Starting point is 00:22:17 A crying old lady was no ass. Okay? I would be like consoling her at eight. I'd be like, oh, did your son get another DUI? And I get that it's terrifying to see a little ginger girl who's like, I'm not scared of hell. I came from hell. But it's like, you know, like, she's like, it's fire, you're going to die.
Starting point is 00:22:44 I'm like, yeah, you're scared of it. kids don't even respect you, lady. Like, I don't... I mean... Also, why do you think you're invited to hell? Okay? There's no crying in hell. Okay, you come into hell crying.
Starting point is 00:22:54 Me and Hitler are going to trip you walking through the door, okay? Don't fuck up the vibes. We're trying to have sex with kids. No crying, okay? Don't worry, we can have sex with the kids. They were school shooters, okay? All right. Thank you guys so much.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Give it up for Jay. Allison Bastogh, everybody. Now, that's what I call fucked up. That's just your rigor old Frazier fan. All right. We got two more contestants. Let's get to know our next one. According to his LinkedIn page,
Starting point is 00:23:26 he's been a junior writer at BuzzFeed since September 2015. Congrats on almost 20 years to Garrick Bernard. Fucking page. Jesus Christ. A lot of shit has happened. I'm now unemployed, so there you go. I would have everybody. here. Are you guys in 30s, 20s? 31? Yeah? How are you feeling? Pretty good? I got in my 30s. I'm ready to die, bro. Like, I don't want to do this anymore, man. I didn't know that your 20s was the best your body was gonna feel. Like this fucking, like, yeah, don't, yeah, say no. Yeah, it is. It's the worst. It's the fucking, you have nothing to look forward to. You're probably like, what?
Starting point is 00:24:24 26 or something like that. 27? Yeah. Walk into the ocean, bro. Like, it's... It's over. There's nothing left. There's nothing left, man. Like, I don't want to...
Starting point is 00:24:36 Like, I feel... Okay, so... My knees don't hurt, but I know that they're there. Does that make sense? Like, I'm aware of their existence. I didn't know that anything was attaching these two points. You know, now I have to fucking stretch all of...
Starting point is 00:24:50 I used to be able to just jump off of a cliff and be fine. I have to stretch and shit all. I'm stretching 90% of my life. I'm always stretching because I'm waking up sore. What the fuck? Why does rest hurts? Nobody told me that after you turn 30,
Starting point is 00:25:04 when you fall asleep, somebody comes in the room and beats the shit out of you. Nobody said that. Fuck, oh my God, 30s are lonely, bro. Like, I don't know. I wanna do stuff, but nobody wants to go out anymore. Like, nobody wants to text or anything like that. Like, nobody wants to get on a game, bro.
Starting point is 00:25:24 They want to raise a bitch-ass family or whatever. Get on the game, bro. Let's play pretend war. And then sometimes they'll hop on and then their daughter will be on the mic and be like, hi, guys. And I'll be like, your daddy told me you're a mistake. Like, fuck off.
Starting point is 00:25:42 And you'll come on like, oh, would you tell my daughter, bro? The truth. Now lock in. You know, I... You know, you remember when you turn 25, you know, and you got like a text at midnight and you're saying like, happy birthday or whatever you know I've turned 33 the only text I got was from Bank of America asking me if I just meant 1299 on only fans like that's the only it's the saddest
Starting point is 00:26:05 why I've ever sent back just like yeah that was that was me I got myself tities for my birthday I that's cute 30s are lonely I fucking hate it I don't want to be here anymore well okay I did get engaged you know So like, I am an engaged human. So that's cool, you know, but she doesn't understand me at all. You know, her knees don't sound like mahogany yet. So she's still in her 20s. Like she doesn't fucking, she doesn't get it.
Starting point is 00:26:37 You know, like example, her dirty talk is still cute and flirty. Mine is fucking disgusting. You know, like one time I sent her a selfie and she was like, oh my God, you look like a chair and I'm trying to have a seat. That's very cool, that's very smooth, they like that. And then I responded by fucking hunching over. And I was like, fucking, yeah. I can't wait to supplicate under there
Starting point is 00:27:02 and frame you for murder. Why? Why would anybody say that? She didn't even respond. I just immediately got a cow invite for couples counseling. That's all that happened. I don't know if you guys know what couples counseling is, but it's basically your fiance paying somebody $200 an hour
Starting point is 00:27:17 to prove that you're wrong. And, you know, we were having to fight, you know, in front of the therapist and you know I brought up the text and then she was just like oh you see here I just feel like he's calling me fat and then I was just like no I'm just saying it would be an honor to dine her there and our therapist our therapist was like okay so ma'am what you're experiencing is just leftover trauma from a previous relationship and that has absolutely nothing to do with him so in this situation you're wrong and bro that's the hardest I've ever came in my life.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Just like, void of all, just gone from, I don't know if you've watched Mori at all, but you know when they say you are not the father and the nix starts fucking dance, like that's, that's just a man finally being right in his relationship, you know? She wants to have kids, but I don't, I don't agree. I don't, you know, I don't think I'm ready to have sex for keeps, you know? Like, it just, it, it's fucking, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:28:18 it's, I don't think our kids are gonna fucking respect me. You know? Like, I have dimples, dog. Like, I'm a fucking black Shirley Temple. I can't, I can't, like, there's no authority in my voice at all, you know? Like, their mom's side of the family is just going to be Crip after, it's just Crips. It's literally Crip after Crip after Crip. And then on their dad's side, it's just Caribbean cutie-pittos. And I fucking hate that, you know?
Starting point is 00:28:45 So then I'm going to be like, all right, son, go to bed. He's going to be like, bitch, get the fuck out of my face. Don't fucking look at me. You know, and then I have to be like a millennial about it and just like weaponize my mental health. You're like, okay son, when you don't go to bed, dad gets overwhelmed, you know? And you know what happens when dad gets overwhelmed, right?
Starting point is 00:29:06 He wants to kill himself. That's right. I go upstairs before you get pop pop pop's blood on your hands, bro. All right, that's it, I'm done. Gairis Bernard, everybody. Eric Bernard. God, I always love when we got a first on this show, and that is the first time someone has threatened suicide
Starting point is 00:29:28 for their hypothetical child. Wow. That's what it's all about. All right, folks, we got one contestant left. You guys remember Quibi? Yeah. All right, well, you might recognize our last contestant from the Quibi show that he was on with Nicole Ritchie.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Yeah. I know. Big stuff for a canceled platform. Please make some noise for the wonderful Jared Goldstein, Everybody. Jeremy! Don't speak! Coming here was a mistake.
Starting point is 00:29:59 I'm gonna do the cleanest that I've ever done in my life. Okay, I'll just start with all my faggot material. Just a heads up, I'm gonna say faggot a lot. Oh, it's just crazy because I'm straight. It's gonna get edgy. Get ready. Okay, so the other day I'm walking down the street with a friend of mine who was also gay when this guy driving by yells fag and my friend goes oh my god that guy just called you a fad
Starting point is 00:30:41 and i was like i feel like he was talking to you and that is how a straight guy got two gay guys to call each other fad get out crazy thing to high five no it's totally fine i don't even I didn't know who can say it anymore. The other day, a homeless black veteran called me a faggot, and I was like, I think he can call me that. And thank you for your service. We're gonna add him to the list of people who can say it. When we say LGBT plus, he is the plus.
Starting point is 00:31:36 It's him, Doja Cat, and straight guys, while we're blowing them. Every last one of you. Okay, what do you guys think? about Asian fetish. We'll go one by one. Okay, let's do an easy one. Okay, um, all right.
Starting point is 00:32:13 Who here pees in the ocean? Interesting, this side of the room. You guys found each other. Very cool. I'm with you guys. I can't do it. I wish I was more like you. I can't pee in the ocean, so after I shit,
Starting point is 00:32:32 I just hold it. I told that joke a couple weeks ago and this guy yells out, Shark sugar. Has anyone ever heard of shark sugar before? No one ever has. I'm pretty sure he made it up. But basically, apparently blood in the water
Starting point is 00:32:55 is not the only thing that can attract a shark. He told me this and I was like, is that real? And he goes, well, did a shark show up? And I was like, I have never shit in the ocean. That was a joke. Really, really crazy. Um, okay, do you have any couples here? That was you just now.
Starting point is 00:33:31 Oh no, that's good. I'm happy for you. Okay, what do you think about the expression? Never go to bed angry? Thumbs up. Okay, I agree. I think so. I like, I feel like never going to bed angry is a great way to break up at four in the morning. Go to bed, right? Let's go to bed. The expression should be always go to bed angry. And then tomorrow, go to work angry. Take it out on them. I am single.
Starting point is 00:34:11 I'm talking to this guy right now on Hinge. And I, okay, either English is his second language or he's a bot. Truly, I cannot tell. Every conversation, I'm like, am I being racist or catfished? Like, what's going on? Okay, so the other day I messaged him, I'm at Sugarfish having sushi, and he responds, I like there, eating is nice. Can you help?
Starting point is 00:34:43 I don't know. I'm like, and here's the thing, his name is Jaime. If his name was Jamie, I'd be like, hey, are you a boss? but his name is Jaime, so I need to be careful. I'm like, Eres a subot? I don't know. I'll end it there. Okay, thank you. That's my sad.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Jared Goldstein, everybody! Eric Goldstein! Wow, wow, wow. Tyler, that was an incredible first round. That was all of our wonderful... Makes noise for all of our wonderful contestants. Moment of truth now, Tyler. Which of our three comedians are advancing to the next round?
Starting point is 00:35:28 Well, Jay, let's make it loud for the hypothetical dead dad, Garrick Bernard with 500 points. Come on down, Gary. Also joining him, Shark Sugar. It's five points for Jared Goldstein. And the most fucked up set of the night, the most fucked up set since Nathan Hurd told that Beastie Alley Joke, the guy's banned from Alamo Draft House, I think. It's Gabby Lane with 600 points.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Wow, wow, wow. The stars are out tonight, folks. Hot panel, no. fucking panel. Very good. Very sexy panel. Basically attractive panel. How are you guys feeling? You made it to the next round. You were fucked up. You were all very fucked up. Great job. Yes. And are you ready to have some things happen to you?
Starting point is 00:36:21 No. Did you know the premise? Yeah. I didn't. Oh, you didn't? No, I just came in with an open heart and I will regret that. I'll never do it again. Well, Jay opens it up when he talks to his rape victims too, the same way.
Starting point is 00:36:35 too, the same way. You ready to have things happen to you? Jesus Christ. Everybody booed Tyler over there. What? Okay, fine. Okay, fine. I thought this show was wrong. I thought the show was wrong.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Don't you project onto me with your things? Anyway. All right. We are moving on to the next round. Our comedians have advanced to the next round. This is a wonderful round. One of our favorites. It's called Entweetment.
Starting point is 00:37:04 This is the one. This is the one. You might have heard earlier when we were telling Jared about this round. He yelled, no! No! From the Greenrow. This is the one where we're going through all of our comedians social media.
Starting point is 00:37:16 We have found some posts, some tweets, some Instagram, some Facebook. We're guessing you guys probably don't know what they are. We have blanked out some words. And we're going to show three options. Two will be fake. One will be real. Their job is to guess which one is the real one. How are you feeling?
Starting point is 00:37:38 So bad. I wasn't expecting this. show to sell out. I was really hoping there would be like 10 people here. This is so bad. Jared is nervous. Here's the thing. I always tell myself, like,
Starting point is 00:37:54 look at who is so rich and famous now. It's every white guy who's ever done Asian, whatever the hell in a podcast. So, like, I'm going to release myself of, like, stressing about this. But then I find out this is the premise, and I'm like, I'm going to die. I'm going to die tonight.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Tonight I die. So I don't know. It's all going to be gravy. We're gonna start off with one of mine just so you guys know the ten are what we're working with here. Now, I never know what these are in advance. Tyler and our producing team, they always find something fucked up from mine.
Starting point is 00:38:20 I think I might be the worst tweeter in the history of Hollywood. Oh, you guys, I already do not like where this is going. Zero comments, zero retweets, zero likes. Yikes. Putting up numbers. October 20th, 2016. Let's see what we got
Starting point is 00:38:42 Okay, if you're single and trying to avoid sex on the first date Blank Yeah, 1128 AM What the fuck was I trying to accomplish at 1128 Option 1 If you're single in trying to avoid sex on the first date
Starting point is 00:39:03 Say you aren't able to have sex For religious reasons except for butt stuff And it's your butt stuff Okay The audience is not buying this one, I don't think. Yeah, sounds like no likes. Option two. If you're single in trying to avoid sex on the first date,
Starting point is 00:39:26 just explain that you're saving up your sperm for a super soaker fight with your friends. No, that should have gotten likes if that was good. Yeah, yeah. That's a good one I do feel like I would have tweeted maybe, but I don't know, we got another one, and it's option three. If you're single in trying to avoid sex on the first date, just cut yourself while shaving your pubes. Trust me, you'll want no eyes on your crutch.
Starting point is 00:39:49 That is good advice. That is no like advice, for sure. You guys did not like that one at all. I actually do think I know which one the real one. I think I have a memory of this. I don't think you're the type to do YR self. I know. I don't feel like that's your vibe.
Starting point is 00:40:09 The YR is kind of give us too many of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I am the type to substitute two for the word two and the number four for the word for. Absolutely. I hate that that is the, the vibe that I get back. You are in a suit, so that's it.
Starting point is 00:40:24 I'm wearing a suit with a child's drawing on a tie. What do you guys think? What do you think is the one? I think it's the super-soaker one. I think it's the super-soker one. I hope it's too. But then I'm bummed that you didn't get any lights. No, but he's in a suit.
Starting point is 00:40:36 That's screaming Jesus. It's the first one. The religious one. You think it's the first one? What I think I should also be a part of this game is we should Google what tragedies happened at the date of the tweet. So many of my deleted tweets. were just like totally benign tweets about like a fart joke,
Starting point is 00:40:52 but it was like right after 50 children went missing. And then someone will comment like, hey, not right now. And I'm like, what? And then I find out what happened? And I'm like, oh, no, three, yeah. We should, we should do, write that down. We'll put that for the producing team for the next one. I unfortunately, I am about 95% sure it is that one.
Starting point is 00:41:15 That's tough. Oh, God. Yeah, that's tough. You are really having a. Yeah. Yeah. It's that one. Damn.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Yeah. Bummer, huh? I did. So Y-O-U-R. This is too long? I think it was, this was in the 140 character era of Twitter. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:32 So you added commas? Take the commas out. Oh. Hey, he's a poet. Oh, okay. You're right. You're right. Let me have my grammar shit, all right?
Starting point is 00:41:43 I already had a bloody crotch area. Give me something. Damn. You know what? by the way, you get drugs, you two get drugs, for supporting me in this time of need. All right, all right. Melanie, get them some drugs.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Make some noise for our drug winners right here in the front row. It's time to get to know our contestants and what they did in their past. Oh, God. Our first contestant coming to the hot seat. Garrick Bernard. Everybody makes some noise for Gary.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Eric Bernard, everybody. Garrick. Look. Now, this is a nice, rare show. We haven't had this kind in a while where every single contestant has deleted their Twitter. Oh, fuck yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Every contestant. Now, the good news is, I am Facebook friends. No. Oh, shit. You're about to get some vintage high school Rick, bro. Yeah, we're getting Rick Burr up in here. October 4th, 2012. Blank, let the AIDS run rampant.
Starting point is 00:42:57 Is everyone's phones locked up? Yes. Oh, that's right. Everybody's phones are locked up. No, don't fucking do that, bro. It's eight likes, six comments. I will say right now. Does that get text messages?
Starting point is 00:43:12 Put it down. This is better than everybody else's on the panels combined responses. Eight like six comments. Yeah, you were in high school during this, right? Is it in high school? No.
Starting point is 00:43:26 Even better. I was responsible. I was, what is that, 21? Okay. Well, we're gonna get a peek into 21-year-old Garrick's mind. Garrick, if you think you know the real option, when you see it, don't say it till the very end because Jared and Gabby got a chance to guess first. Option one! If Steve Carell does not do a cameo on the office, I will start stealing toilet seat covers from stalls and let the aides run rampant.
Starting point is 00:43:53 That's pretty good. That was my first year in comedy. Option two, saw that they added a Muppet with HIV to Sesame Street. they'll do anything to not add a black Muppet. Cancel PBS and let the aides run rampant. It's for sure that one. Or option three. Me holding the AIDS quilt on the top of the Empire State Building.
Starting point is 00:44:27 I'm going to need a billion dollars or I will drop this bitch and let the aides run rampant. Boy, oh boy. Gabby, Jared, which ones do you all think it is? This doesn't be street one. For sure. Okay. Sesame Street, you're lean Sesame.
Starting point is 00:44:42 I was watching his face the whole time to try to get a read, but he was shocked by all of them. Yeah. Bad memory. Yeah, I guess I'll go with Sesame Street. Sesame Street, okay. Yeah. Garrick, which one?
Starting point is 00:44:57 This was around the time of the office finale, so I think it's the first. It is the first one. Good news. Skating out just alive. Yes, where Garrick went on. I'm jumping off the hot stage. Yeah, he's ready to get the fuck out of it.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Makes noise for Garrick Bernard. Gabby Lamb, you are up next. Get yourself over to the hot seat. Saving me for last. You have a real bad one thing. So, Gabby, you deleted your Twitter. I did. We went to your Facebook.
Starting point is 00:45:33 Okay. It's your nerd. You're a nerd. How do you delete Facebook? You can't delete Facebook. You need that and a real ID these days. If you delete Facebook, you cannot get on a plane. Now this one, I am almost certain, was from when you were in high school.
Starting point is 00:45:53 November 24th, 2009. Yeah, I was in high school. Senior year. Let's see that tweet. Let's see that Facebook post. Here we go. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Four comments.
Starting point is 00:46:06 Whoa, whoa. Yeah, what year in high school were you when this was going on? Senior. Senior year? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. How is high school going for you? I saw you got a 1.78 GPA or something like that?
Starting point is 00:46:17 I did, yeah, 1.67, actually. Lower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I graduated with. Thank you. Fantastic. Now, Gabby, we're going to show you three options. If you know the real one, don't say it, because we got Garrick and Jared guessing. First, option one. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Apparently, if I moved to Utah, I can marry all the members of Good Charlotte.
Starting point is 00:46:41 Option two. Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the fuck did Edward do when Bella was on the rag? I did love Twilight. Or option three. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dumbledore, gay? How you feel about Harry Potter?
Starting point is 00:47:08 Oh, I know how you feel about Harry Potter. You posted a lot about getting Harry Potter tattoos at this time of your life. Yeah. Jared. Jared, Garrick, while Gabby contemplates which one's the real post? Which two do you think? Which one do you think it might be? I don't think it's Dumbled or gay, because I feel like the gay shit didn't happen until, like, the 2010s, right?
Starting point is 00:47:26 Of them being like, oh, actually, he was by. Right, right, right. I think this is around a time when he just died, right? Or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, it is November 24th, that's around Thanksgiving, the holidays are starting.
Starting point is 00:47:41 So I'm trying to, like, get in the mind of a high school senior in San Diego. Yeah. Yeah. She's home. She's sitting across from her dad that might be talking about. Talking about Dumbledore being gay, I guess. I'm not sure. Twilight movie, maybe was that this time?
Starting point is 00:47:56 Twilight movie. Yeah, I think it's the Twilight movie. Yeah, I think it's Twilight movie. I think it's Twilight. Okay. Gabby, which one do you think is a real deal? I honestly think it's the gay one. Wait, do you don't remember fully? I don't remember at all.
Starting point is 00:48:06 This feels like more my lane. Well, let's see if it is her lane. Nice. So because I'm right, I don't have to do it. No, you still got to do it. By the way, Dumbledore was gay as of 2007. Oh.
Starting point is 00:48:25 Okay. I know. Earlier than we thought same. I mean, he was also born that way, Jay. Everybody, let's get Gabby out of the hot seat. Makes noise for Jared Goldstein. Nice work. Okay.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Jared. Jared deleted his Twitter. Because you got a real deal career. You got something to lose. No, I don't. No, no, no. But you have a lot of things that we found. It's hard to find for these two.
Starting point is 00:49:00 There's a website called Internet Archive. Yes. We love Internet Archive here on Wrong. A lot of stuff that people have screenshotted. Fans of yours has saved these tweets. Fans. Haters. Nobody's.
Starting point is 00:49:17 And you'll stay a nobody. We have a tweet here from September 16, 2019. 242 people. zero comments or retweets. 11 likes. Pretty good. Let's see that tweet. I've been calling people to
Starting point is 00:49:40 chunks, I think, at work for years. We'll just say JCs. I think that's probably easier for this. Jesus Christ. We've been calling out the Lord Jesus Christ at work every day. Can I just say that a really good reason for tweeting this?
Starting point is 00:49:58 Now remember, don't spoil it for these two When you see the real tweet, don't say until the very end Try and get that good poker face for Gabby and Garrick Option one I've been calling people JCs at work for years But that can't be the reason why I still haven't gotten a Saturday Night Live audition Right Let me say it for you each time you read it
Starting point is 00:50:22 Please Take it off my hands Yeah Option two I've been calling people Jew chinks. At work for years. Trying to get fired from my restaurant job.
Starting point is 00:50:35 But apparently I'm Japanese and Jewish and therefore allowed to say that. Jared, I'm going to let you know in advance. We're going to need a little extra help on the next one, okay? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. And hopefully Garrick won't have to help at all.
Starting point is 00:51:03 You better hope I don't have to help. Yeah. Oh, fuck. This is a bad game. I think this is a great game. This is wrong. It's wrong. Option three.
Starting point is 00:51:21 I've been calling people at work for years, and no one has called me on it. Time to up the slur ante and start calling them. Ju-ching faggots. So, Gabby, Garrick. Okay. What's funny about this is that if you guys had to make this up, one of you had to write this. Like, if he didn't write that, you had to write that.
Starting point is 00:51:50 So. Yeah, I feel like you should be mad more. I feel like, I think it's this one. I think it's this one. Gabby thinks it's this one, Garrick, what do you think? Can I see option number two again? Tyler, option two. Okay, here's option two.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Apparently Japanese and Jewish, therefore allowed to say that. Should be Chinese and Jewish, technically. I did watch Jared's set, so I feel like it's the third one. Let's pull the third one back up one more time, Tyler. Jared, do you know which one is the real post? I do. It is. The second one.
Starting point is 00:52:30 I will say this. We did not type it. We did not type that word out. We did copy and paste it from a separate tweet of Jared. Dear straight guys, please do not call me Jew-chink faggot. Just the last part. Unless you want me to come.
Starting point is 00:52:55 And that's Jared Goldstein, everybody. Make some noise for a treatment. What a fucking round. Tyler, how is everybody doing on the points? All right, all right. In third place, you have Gabby Lamb with inner points. Second place, Garrett Bernard with 900, and Jared's leading with 1,000 points.
Starting point is 00:53:18 All right folks, we have one more game for you guys before we give out the prizes. We have a favorite game that we've only done one other time. We're bringing it back right here for our first show in primetime here at the Comedy Store. This is a game called Guess Who's Horny. That's how Jay dances. That's how I, that's my sexy dance. That's how he whops. That's how I got my wife's wet ass pussy by dancing just like that.
Starting point is 00:53:51 Nope. that? All right, fair. Fair. So does his wife. It's okay. She does. We have, I'm almost certain in this crowd, we have some fans of fan fiction. Makes some noise if you like fan fiction.
Starting point is 00:54:05 You guys familiar with fan fiction? Yeah, of course. Fan fiction's great. Fan fiction people write anything they want about all sorts of different kinds of people. A lot of fictional characters, some real characters. We have found some fan fiction. The first time we ever played this game was right around the Luigi Mangione assassination of our USC health...
Starting point is 00:54:30 Yes, exactly. Big ups to our boy Luigi. And we found some fan fiction that people started immediately writing after that. We also found some fan fiction about a different Luigi, Luigi from the Nintendo World. Look at these two hunks. I would fuck both, honestly. I have found three stories. We are going to be reading in a little bit from each of these stories, and our comedian's job is to guess which Luigi is fucking in these stories.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Now, for bonus points, we will be blanking out the name of Luigi's sexual partner. So you can say, for bonus points, the name of the sexual partner for Luigi. So it's Mangione or Nintendo, okay? And I will be reading these in my best. I did do some audio book, erotic audiobook, narration during COVID, so I'm going to be busting out my J.T. Linus voice for you guys tonight. Look him up.
Starting point is 00:55:40 Look him up. Look him up on Amazon. Nine published books. Great stuff. You guys ready to see your first story? Let's do it. Story number one. They sat there for a moment. The warmth of their skin and the steady beating of their hearts.
Starting point is 00:55:57 And then, as if driven by a force, stronger than either of them could resist. Luigi leaned in and pressed his lips to Redactids. The kiss was soft. Redacted's hand tightened around Luigi's. His eyes slipping closed as he let himself feel something other than fear and anger for the first time in what felt like an eternity.
Starting point is 00:56:23 Which Luigi's fucking? Mangione. I hope. Yeah. This is about Manjone. This is for sure Nintendo, Luigi. Fear and anger. Luigi's mansion, that's like his whole thing.
Starting point is 00:56:36 He's a scared little bitch. That's a great point. He's a scared little bitch. And then I think that Redacted is either Wario or Waluigi. You know, I like the, I like, I like, I like, Derek where your head's at. Jared, Gabby.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Who do you think, you still stick with Mangione or your Nintendo? I think it's Mangione. Okay, and who's his partner in this? The partner is, I'm trying to think of any one. political figure and I can't think of a single one. Yeah, you could say you could just say you. It could be you. That is a fan fiction. Yeah, it could be your name. Nancy Pelosi.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Now that's good. I like that. We got there. Gabby? Oh, God. I mean, you, you, that was a good point. That was a good point. But I'm going to stick with Mangione. And I guess if I was going to guess who he's kissing, can I say Trump? Because there's a
Starting point is 00:57:42 like a whole thing like can we like because Trump can be pardoned him I don't know that is a great way to get a pardon right give a good little smooch he was hanging out of McDonald's afterwards that's Trump's very place to eat it's good thinking all right we've locked in our answers the correct answer it is Luigi Mangione and his partner is Jahar Sarnaev the Boston Marathon baron now let's just take a little moment we're gonna read a little further on into the story With a gentle urgency, Luigi pushed Jihar down onto the thin, worn mattress of his bed. The springs groaned in protest, a mournful echo of the world outside that knew nothing of the love blossoming in his cell.
Starting point is 00:58:36 He hovered above him, his hand trembling as it reached for the zipper of Jahar's prison outfit. His heart was a jackhammer in his chest. Each beat a silent chant of yes and now. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's good writing. Oh wow, claps for your character. J.T. Linus, baby.
Starting point is 00:58:57 All right. Let's move on to our next story. Luigi's stomach dropped from how he said his name, Ernest, imploring, needing. His tongue touched him again, and Luigi was worried that this would all go to waste. They had done this before. He wanted Redacted to feel something new,
Starting point is 00:59:15 but wasn't creative enough to know what. Redacted's tongue moved higher. It slid up his stomach, chest, neck, and then lift it off of him. Go right ahead. I'm going. Luigi again from Mario. I'm going to just stick to it, like 50-50 chance, right? It's true.
Starting point is 00:59:36 Luigi from Mario redacted as Yoshi. Tongue. Hot tongue action from Yoshi. Yeah. What do you two think? I think it, because it says it was worried that this all would go to waste, I feel like that's another kind of clue. So it feels like it's Mangione.
Starting point is 00:59:56 And if I had to guess who it was, it's Diddy. Yeah, all the baby oils. They're in prison together. That's true, they are in prison together, yeah. Gabby, what do you think? I'm sorry, was Luigi gay? You keep guessing the men in the game. Luigi's gay.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Yeah. In Mario and Luigi? Really? Yeah, yeah. I will let you know famously Luigi is gay. He's a gay. Have you played Luigi's Mansion? No.
Starting point is 01:00:34 The whole game, he's going, he's a real pearl clutcher, you know? Really? He is a faggot. Thank you very much. I did not know that. Interesting. No, I'll go with Mangione still.
Starting point is 01:00:53 And his partner? Would it not still be the former partner? Is it a different? Okay, I'll guess a new one. It's a new story. It's a new story? Let's go with Timothy Chamalay. How do you do?
Starting point is 01:01:07 Yeah. Timothy Shamalay, it is. The correct answer. This is Luigi from Nintendo. And Bowser! That's, yeah. Painful. Fair enough.
Starting point is 01:01:25 Do I dare read further into the story? Oh, yeah. Absolutely, fucking I do. In the darkness, Luigi was susceptible to suppress. He couldn't see where Bowser's hands were and didn't know where any part of him was moving to He gasped for air as he felt the tip of a claw move against his hold It pressed a centimeter or two inside just to the point where Luigi could feel a stretch
Starting point is 01:02:00 nine books nine books this guy all right we got so gentle Bowser's very gentle he's very nice man My favorite part of this drawing, by the way, is Mario with the corner going, Mama Mia! I just noticed that. He's my sworn enemy. We got one more story, one more chance for you to guess which, Luigi. Here's our excerpt.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Redacted dropped to his knees to worship the stranger before him. He swirled his tongue around, exploring the massive pipe before him. Luigi groaned and tugged at his hair, has redacted swallowed down to the hill. Which Luigi? Pipe. This one is Luigi Nintendo. And who do you think his partner is?
Starting point is 01:02:52 Drop to his knees to worship the stranger. I think it's Mario. I think it's classic. This is a Christian one. It's Mario. You know what? If it is the first time you're going down on your brother, that would feel like a stranger, I think. I think that's fair. Gabby, Garrick, you all got any inklings? Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 01:03:08 I can't do Nintendo three times in a row, right? I mean, it's up to you, you can't. 50-50. Whoa. The crowd wants you to do it. They're chanting. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:25 All right. Yeah, Massifite. Yeah, Luigi. I would say, Nintendo. And you're going with, which partner? Um, fucking Mario again, maybe. Gabby, you've been contemplative over there. I really, I know, because I feel like I can't guess
Starting point is 01:03:42 Mangione again. What is a hilt? So you know, like, on a sword, the thing that you grab on the sword? Okay, so it is Luigi, Nintendo Luigi then. Well, the hilt of the dick is the shaft. Does that make sense?
Starting point is 01:04:03 Did I do that logically correct? Okay. Oh, wait, is it fucking link then? Oh, shit. Yeah, maybe it's late. Is this story called Super Smash Bros? So we didn't need that. Honestly, okay, I'm going to go.
Starting point is 01:04:17 I'm going with Nintendo Luigi. I'm going with Donkey Kong. Claps for Donkey Kong and Luigi. I mean, Bowser's bad. We've got to get Luigi on the side of a good character like Donkey Kong. What does everyone think it is? Nintendo Wa Luigi. Everybody thinks this is Luigi Nintendo.
Starting point is 01:04:39 The good news is it's both. There you get it. This was one of my favorite stories. So I don't know if you guys remember right around before they announced what Luigi Mangione's name was. was calling him like the adjuster online or the claims adjuster stuff like that so this is a story of teaching Luigi having sex with the adjuster Luigi Mangione yeah and look at that a match made in heaven yeah he is so hot for real it's crazy it never gets old I'm like that's so crazy and the thing is like if he was like a six or a seven we'd all fill in
Starting point is 01:05:32 you know the blanks and just be like he's a 10 he's literally a 10 you don't have to fill anything in You're just like... Well, Luigi Nintendo has to fill something. Yes. Oh, nice. It's crazy. All right, read the board, Jay. We're all waiting for it.
Starting point is 01:05:48 Let's hear exactly how Luigi from the Mario Brothers universe filled it in. Watch out, Green Machine coming through. Luigi exclaimed as he pushed the adjuster down and entered him in full force. Despite his small stature, he maintained incredible strength and strength and stamina, able to prop up the man beneath him while maintaining a brutal pace. He lowered the man down, one hand firm on his throat, while the other lovingly stroked his face. The man beneath him was a well-sculpted mess, toned in body, but lost in pleasure.
Starting point is 01:06:41 And that was guess who's horny, everybody. That was guess who's horny? Oh my god. You guys have been an incredible panel. How about one more time for this panel? You've done some great guesses, you've done some great things, and Tyler's gonna tally up the final scores. In the meantime, while he's doing that,
Starting point is 01:07:03 we are going to play, not a game, but we're gonna get you guys out on here on a nice note, because we've been into some fucked up places tonight, right? We said some weird stuff. We found out about Luigi's claw riddled hole. That's a weird place to end the show on. So we're gonna get out of here on a nice note with a pallet cleanser.
Starting point is 01:07:22 We love the pallet cleanser. All of our comedians are going to be telling one nice clean wholesome joke to get us out of here. And they're going to give out their prizes and see who won what. We're going to start off with our first clean joke from Gabby Lamb. Makes noise from Gabby Lamb, everybody. We don't have a clean joke, which is, okay, let's see what I've got. Hmm. I have a lot of tattoos, and people ask me all the time. I'm like, what do they mean? What do they mean?
Starting point is 01:07:57 And I'm like, they obviously mean that I have a credit score of 409 and multiple DUIs. And, okay, you guys don't have any. Okay, virgins, whatever. Okay, the second DUI that I got, I remember I get pulled over and the cop was like, get out of your car. And I stumbled. And he was like, look at you. You can barely walk.
Starting point is 01:08:25 and I was like, yeah, that's literally why I drove. That's my favorite Gabby Lamb's joke. Are you stupid? I'm sorry, was they supposed to walk to Taco Bell at 4 a.m.? No, it's dangerous. There's drunk drivers. I could get hit. And then I went to jail and immediately shit my pants. And that is my clean joke.
Starting point is 01:08:57 Gabby Lamb, everybody. All right. It's time for our next clean joke. From Jared Goldstein. Makes noise for Jared Goldstein. I'm told. That's okay. I think it's a compliment.
Starting point is 01:09:20 Whenever someone they-thems me, I'm like, all right, they think I'm 24. That's it. That's Jared Goldstein. Everyone final clean, wholesome joke from Garrett Bernard. Yeah, I also don't have any non-dart AIDS, I get, I don't know, fucking, is that that not? That's, no, it's awful. I'm from Los Angeles, board and raised.
Starting point is 01:09:55 I, I like, I can't recommend it, though. It's fine. It's mid, for the most part. And then if you get raised here, all of your friends get forced out of the city, and then it gets, like, filled people not from here that just talk shit. by the city that raised you in your face like fuck you fuck everything about LA I hate the traffic why is there so much traffic bitch you you're your your why that's all I that's all I'm and that's Garrett Gornard everybody oh my god now Tyler before we give out our prizes to the to the comics I do have one more audience prizes I would like to give prizes to the two folks
Starting point is 01:10:34 who started clapping immediately upon referencing uh Luigi Mangione so we got prizes coming your way It makes noise for Luigi Mangione one more time in these two contestants. It's a microdose of mushrooms coming your way. And now it's time to find out which of our comics is the most fucked up? Tyler, let a rip. All right, everybody. Let's make a laugh for all the comedians you saw today. They all killed it.
Starting point is 01:10:57 They all left right. All right. In third place with 1,000 points. It's Gabby Lamb, everybody. Gabby Lamb. You get this book, Juotopia. Jutopia. The Chosen Book for the Chosen People.
Starting point is 01:11:11 Now with this, it is signed by the authors. I found this at a thrift store in Torrance, California, earlier this week. That's for you. Wow, thank you. In second place with 1100 points. It's Garrett Bernard, everybody. Garrett Bernard. You've got this great prize.
Starting point is 01:11:31 The Path to 9-11, the controversial ABC miniseries. I only paid a dollar for it because it's missing disc won. And our grand prize winner. This year goes here, everybody. Generals are 1,200 points. 1,200 points. You get this great prize. It's the Platinum Comedy Series of Carlos Mincea.
Starting point is 01:11:53 Not for the easily offended. And if you go on the back, you'll see a staying truthfulness that makes Chris Rock sound like Bill Cosby. Wow. Good stuff. Jay? Tyler Meznorich, everybody. One more time for all of our contestants.
Starting point is 01:12:11 For being here today, don't you worry? might be worried about getting canceled, but we got your patented. Get out of cancellation free cards. Turn that in at your next meeting. You're going to be fine. Guys, thanks so much for coming out. This has been wrong, a fucked-up game show.
Starting point is 01:12:25 You guys been an incredible audience. Make sure you take care of your server. Evan. Thank you, everybody, at the Comedy Store. If you like the show, follow us at Wrong Game Show. We will be back here soon. Stay tuned. And stay wrong, everybody.
Starting point is 01:12:37 Have a great night.

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