WRONG! A Fucked Up Game Show - OLD BITCHES BE RACIST (ft. Billy Myers III, Daniel Van Kirk, Maddi Mays)

Episode Date: December 14, 2024

Recorded live at The Comedy Store on December 7th, 2024.OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS: Billy Myers III, Daniel Van Kirk, Maddi MaysSUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE to watch full shows in glorious HD!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠COME SEE US LIVE!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Upcoming Shows:NYC: 12/18 @ Caveat, 9:30 PMLA: 1/4 @ The Comedy Store, 11:45 PMSUPPORT THE SHOW: https://ko-fi.com/wronggameshowcover photo by Van Corona Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello folks, welcome to another podcast edition of Wrong, a fucked up game show. I am your host, Jay Light. And today, we've got our latest episode from the Comedy Store, our last show there of 2024. We have a really fun little episode here featuring Billy Myers-the-third, Daniel Van Kirk, and Maddie Mays. If you like the show, good news. We've got one more live show in 2024.

It's in New York City, so bad news if you don't live there, but we'll be posting it soon because that show is happening on Wednesday, the 18th. So super close. Get your tickets. Link is going to be in the bio. We'll also be back to the Comedy Store in 2025, first Saturdays of every month, and that first show will be January 4th. So keep your eyes peeled for that. Ticket link, I think if not in the bio today, will be out soon. You can also support the show by watching full episodes on YouTube. The link is available in the show notes as well. You get to see all the nice little visual jokes that you miss when you're listening to the audio-only version.

And you can also drop us a little bit of donation money to help keep our costs down. We have a coffee link in our show notes as well. Throw a little bit in there, why don't you? Help us offset some of these production costs because we want to keep bringing you some nice shows. Speaking of shows, just a heads up about this one, you may notice at the very end the audio does get a little strange. We had a problem with the board recorder for this show, so we had to switch to camera audio for the last 15 or so minutes of the show. It still sounds nice, just not quite as nice as the rest of the show does, but we wanted you to get the full experience. So we are not going to deny you that.

Anyway, without further ado, let's get wrong. from the world famous comedy store. Christmas people in the front row. Makes a noise for the Christmas. We got Christians in the front row. Look at that. Dirty Christians in the front row. Makes some noise for Christ, everybody.

That's what the show's all about. Hi, everybody. Welcome to Wrong and a fucked up game show. Thanks for coming to the show. This is our holiday special. And boy, oh boy, do we have some surprises in for you guys tonight? Do you guys like, like game shows? Yeah. Yeah.

Here's the thing. Most game shows, like when people do things right. I like when people do things right. Not here. We like it when people do things. Wrong. Okay. We're fucked up, close.

But wrong is really the answer we're looking for. We like it when people do things. Wrong! Yes, that's a fucking spirit. And we're going to hear a lot of wrong things said tonight, all right? We are going to go to some uncomfortable places. There are comics here here. They're going to tell you some fucked up jokes.

We have found some fucked up things about these comics past that we have questions about, that we're going to find some answers out to tonight. All right. It's not just Guam's sex offender registry list. We have that ready to go. He's already been a contestant on the show, so we can't. By the way, makes noise from my man in the corner.

Tyler Meznorich, everybody. Tyler is our scorekeeper and our prize master. And Tyler, we got a lot of prizes to give out to our audience tonight. That's right, Jay. I have collected every prize that I've ever given out on the show that was left after the show. And I'm giving them all the way today. All the prizes going out.

adjust to the audience. So if you want one of these prizes, you think this person is going to throw it away, grab it from them, and I will throw it away, and I find it in here. We also have some great audience prizes from our friends at Maxwell Farms.

Thanks a nice for Maxwell Farms. We've got some botanical objects ready to go. I got some pool rolls. I got some mushrooms. And is anyone in the crowd not do drugs? A sober person. This is a first. I love this.

A crowd of degenerates on a late-night show. Oh, I'm sober guy. You sober? Well, let me tell you what. You're going to get this. This is for you. It's a puzzle. It's a Maxwell Farms puzzle.

Jay, these guys on Instagram at Maxwell Farms. Check them out. Check them out. We are going to start off our first audience prize giveaway. We're going to give out audience prizes throughout the show. But we have, as you guys have noticed, on your tables. We have some cards you guys have been asked to fill out. And we're going to find out who has had the worst week out of the audience.

The game called Worst Week. Fucking thing sucks! Yes. Who has had a bad week? We have two couples, a couple of people who have, we have determined have had potentially the worst week. The audience is going to vote on who it was. Our first person is Delaney.

Where's Delaney at? Delaney right here. Makes noise for Delaney. Delaney in five words or less, your week was fucked up. Quit job left the country. But you're here. Well, so what country are you from? Australia.

from Australia. Okay, what was your job? Good reason to fucking quit. Good reason to get out of there. Good time. And now you're here. And how long are you going to be here for? This is not as good as we hoped it was going to be.

She's actually having a good week. You're immediately disqualified, Delaney. I'm so sorry. We'll give you a prize still anyway. But I think this person also, I think, actually by default, had a more fucked up week than Delaney did, which is Chase. Where is Chase at?

Chase. Oh my God. Chase in five words or less, your week was fucked up. Corner of knuckle fell off. What? Can you come up to the stage? We got to see this. Everybody makes noise for a chase. Now this also feels weird because Chase is from Maxwell Farms, and I don't know if we can give a Maxwell Farms person a Maxwell Farms prize.

We'll figure it out. Where's your knuckle? Oh, my God. You got a little chunk of it that just fell up. How did it fall off? I was cleaning the grill. Give it up for the little triangle, everybody. That's good. Chase, no, stay up here, Chase.

You're going to win a prize. Chase and Delaney are both going in prizes. Tyler, tell them what they won. All right, well, I'm going to let Chase choose to give somebody mushrooms. That'll be fun. He can just decide that. That's going to be for Chase. For Delaney suggests a good week, you can have this prize.

It's one of the worst prizes. It's the Grassee, the next season. But there's only one this, and it's the bloopers of extras. She loves DeGrasse. Let's see, this is, oh my God, Delaney's having too good of a week now. Everything's coming up Delaney. Makes the noise for Delaney and Chase, everybody. Thanks so much, guys.

Yeah, who wants the mushrooms? We got my man in the front row. My Caltech students. Chase, I'll give you this. Hey, you get it. Come on them. This is Days of Heaven. It's a VHS from 1978.

Thanks a noise for VHS tapes. We're going to be giving out audience prizes. You guys are a great audience, I can already tell. We're going to give out a lot of good prizes tonight. I'm very excited. But now, without further ado, let's get to our contestants. We, like I said, have gathered some of the finest comics in the city. They are going to play our fucked-up games, but before that,

we have one game where we're going to find out what they think is fucked up. It's called, let's get fucked up. I like your energy, sir. You look like you have walked out on so many families in your entire life. How many, which is this a date, or is this a wife? A date, nice. which wife are you leaving right now number two

I love it he's honest we're gonna give us a prize for that later what's your name sir Richard Tyler put Richard down is getting a prize later on for sure we have asked these comics to tell you some fucked up jokes we've asked them to do their most fucked up material

it might be dark it might be dirty but it will definitely be it's okay Richard it's okay it will definitely be now that's the fucking spirit guys Let's go and bring up our first contestant. All he wants for Christmas is the official Red Rider

Carbine Action 200 shot range model air rifle to put in his mouth. Please make some noise for Billy Myers-the-third. I'm honest, that was kind of a dark intro. This is kind of a cool moment. This is how I'm, this is my birthday, the end of my birthday, technically. Tonight with suicide.

So we're gonna do that again. We're just gonna try it again. So this time with all the enthusiasm and excitement, but like more better for me, thank you. We're gonna try, okay. This time, the perfectionist, but sometimes shit's perfect, you know?

So like, okay, one more time, but this time like people that look like me talk to me either, okay? It's fine, you know, 31, you make it to 40, you don't get to anymore. You know, 20, 40, you got to stay in until you're at least 60. The last couple chapters are going to suck, you know? All doomy, and most recently, and I quote, really fucking bumming me out right now. But in the immoral words of Benjamin Franklin,

I just can't stop fucking old fat black prostitutes. Really old, really fat, preferably French black prostitutes. The man's on the $100 bill. know your word that's what I'm saying I don't want to fuck any of you either you're not killing it I want you to think about it I want you find this attractive there's so many red flags just do us by the favor just you see me somewhere you just go hey man nice dick and walk away that's as good as it's

getting for both of us I've sent one dick pick in my entire life and it was to a dude for money. Yeah. Yeah. I just had a roommate named Kyle. I shouldn't use his real name. He was a delightful jolly gay fella and I didn't know about the sweatpants thing. You know about the sweatpants thing? Bro, get some gray sweatpants. People like it. I had been walking around all willy-nilly in the gray sweats. And so when I moved out, I would get a text message from Kyle once a month at about 2 a.m.

They would be like, hey man, let me see that. Which I'd say, LOL, stop it, smiley face, emotion. And then I started a year, first day of the year, where the flat tie, outside of Baker School on I-10 and that was the donut because the day before I had had a flat tire on the side of the 405 So Kyle got a text message said hey man you still want to see that date I need two hundred dollars Kyle and I had that money in five fucking minutes know your work This is a $200 gift.

You're welcome. Motivational set from a suicidal man. That's what we love to see. All right guys, your next contestant considers herself an autistic batty, which means all she wants for Christmas is a train. Please make some noise for Maddie Mae. Are y'all Mexican? Yeah? Oh, but we got the Vakos in this house room.

No hose. Okay. All right. All right, y'all. Before I say what I'm about to say in this entire set, I want everybody here to know I am black. Okay. We've got that, bro, you are so funny looking.

You're like, you're like, Alec Baldwin after he shot that bitch. That's what you're like. It's drinking tea here. That's crazy, bro. You drinking tea at the wrong game show? What is it, green or Jasmine? Couldn't tell me. All right, you ain't a real tea drinker.

drinker all right all right yeah i uh everybody have a good thanksgiving you evil white people you said that what what bro you silver lake faggit bro we're gonna have a friend him so bitch i knew he was gay i had pussy right uh cell looking motherfucker bro and he's like i got a foo-huh and I love my foo, dude. It gives me so much confidence. It does. I grab this shit like it's a dick. Well, I walk in a room like I'm fucking blue face.

You know what I'm fucking, you know what I'm saying? Pull myself up with my fooops. You know, blue face is? Bro, he looks so uncomfortable. I'm so sorry. You can look at me, friend. It's okay. I was just just a joke.

Bro. I was just looking down like, oh, my God, oh, my God, I'm God. This black woman's going to cancel me right now. Nah, but so, but here's the thing about having a fooba. You have a foo pa, Miss Delaney? Yeah, y'all, I think sorry. Here's the thing, it's actually a really good thing is when you have a food pump means you have a fat pussy.

Like I said, fat pussy. But here's the thing. Having fat pussy is actually a very dangerous thing because one time I was trimming and I accidentally cut a grain of rice-sized piece of pussy meat. I kuchi, I did. Yeah, you look shocked. I thought you had a fat pussy.

You know what I'm talking about? So I cut a piece off and I was like, and I saw it hit the floor. And I was like, oh my God, my pussy's on the floor. You know what I'm saying? Any black people in the room, just like that Lotto song, I put it on the floor. That was for you.

Okay. You like Lotto? Okay, all right. Okay. You seem like you fuck Asian bitches, but you know what? But at that point, too, I was like, what do I do with it, dude? What do I do with it?

Losing that much pussy meat when you have good pussy, that's like losing a gram of Wagoo. So I'm like, what do I do I do I eat it like white bitches with placenta? Do I eat it? Do I eat it? You ever eat your placenta, ma'am? No, I had a child. It's crazy.

But when you do, you know that? Evil bitch, bro. Nah, bro, but do I eat it? Do I eat it like white bitch with plenta? But I need you guys to know something. I did not eat it. I did not eat it, but I did think about it. Because if I were to do it, how would I would I?

How would I do it, right? Honestly, I would probably put it in the air fryer. I would get it very crispy. I would make some quichit chattaron. You know what I mean? That's for the Mexicans. That's for the Mexicans. We got fucking It and Eduardo over here.

All right, I think that's my time. Thank you so much. We've been doing the show two and a half years. We've never had anybody talk about cutting off their own pussy meat and putting it in the air friar. And that's what I love about this show. It's bringing people together. It's new thoughts.

Let's bring on our final contestant. Our last contestant is bald as hell. So all he wants for Christmas is a Turkish hair transplant. Please make some noise for Daniel Van Kirk. I'm actually not a candidate for a hair transplant. I tried to do it. I went and looked and I had somebody look at my head and they were like, oh, you'll just keep losing your hair.

And I was like, all right, I guess it's back to January 6 rallies for me. Go where the warmth is, and the warmth is angry white men. They love me. They love me. Everywhere I go, you know how many nods I get from cops everywhere? They're like, I might need you out there. I go, I'm not on the force, dude.

I don't know you. Oh. I don't really do dirty shit. I'm not a bunch of a dirty comic, but I'm a... I'll give it a try. We got ladies out there tonight? Where are my ladies at? Yeah.

How many fingers? At once? How many fingers? Is that not dirty? That's fucked up. Somebody in the back was like, four. And that's great. All right, I'll try more.

Does anybody here have any portrait tattoo? Does anybody in this room have a portrait tattoo? I don't know. We're not gonna ask to fucking see it. I don't j-mike, but I don't care. This is my thing about portrait tattoos. How's that go during sex? What's that like?

Like you're fucking a girl and you look down and you're like, oh, who's this? She's like, oh, that's my grandma. And you're supposed to keep going? Like, if you're going down on somebody and they have their toddler that fell into the pool on their thigh, that's bad, right? Because if it ruins the mood, you're like, damn it.

If it doesn't ruin the mood, stop seeing that person. Maybe I am dirty. Oh, we could do dark stuff too, right? I used to be a grave digger. Yeah, I know, I know. I know. You knew I was going to use a hard R at some point, but it was digger. It was digger.

I was a grave digger. That's the worst job I ever had in my life. I did the job with a guy named John Loggins, and John had been at this cemetery for 35 years. I'm from a small farm town in Illinois, and the cemetery is managed by the street department. So I got like a summer job with the street department, and they were like, hey, you're here to work for the street department?

I go, yeah, to pick up branches. And they were like, no, you're going to bury kids all summer. And I was like, again? So they sent me out. There's a dude, John Loggins. John Loggins was like 48 years old, and when you're 20, that's 70. And he's like 48 years old, and he would make me eat lunch with him every single day. I know you thought the worst part would be the dead bodies.

No, it's John Loggins. And John Loggins would make me eat lunch with him every day and force me to join him while he listened to Dr. Laura. And if you, yeah, okay, you don't know who Dr. Laura is? Dr. Laura is pretty much how we have the modern day Republican Party. That's what Dr. Laura is. And then it gets better. John Loggins was a third degree black felt in Taekwondo. Yeah, and he would practice moves on me.

I know, right? And so he'd be fucking me. And then, no, he would say stuff to me, where he'd be like, you'd be like, come at me. But with your left hand, act like you're going to slap me. But with your right hand, go to punch. But you have to pretend that you're punching at my name. my knee and I was like John who fights like this?

And I swear to God, one day Dr. Laura's humming on about some woman who's mad about the weight her sister gained or something. And he goes, do you want to know what martial arts is all about? And I said, yeah, sure. And he goes, okay, grab my arm. And I reached out and put both hands on his arm and then with his other hand, he goes, it smacks me. And he goes, misdirection.

And I go, I'm going to file a complaint and he goes everybody here's dead and then yeah then we dug up a grave that day and you don't look back from that do I have anything else where my dudes at any of my dudes out here yeah yeah uh any you guys ever get milked well you're a fucking loser if you haven't because it's the greatest come you'll ever have in your life it tastes so sweet when you do it that way um Why not? I'm Daniel Van Kirk. Thanks for letting me be dirty. Other contestants, Maddie Mae's Billy Myers, come on up here y'all. Come on down.

He is going to come facilitate. We have a few people who I definitely, I mean, Richard's definitely getting a fucking prize. Do you want weed or mushrooms? Mushrooms for Richard, please, Melanie. Make some noise. Mushrooms, but also this, Melanie. Let's give him this. This is Thomas Jefferson's feast. It's a book about Thomas Jefferson bringing ice cream and other things from France to America. She sounds kind of good. Let's give one to the black man drinking tea. Would you like weed or mushrooms?

Mushrooms. And what is he getting also, Tyler? Going really fast, Jay. You said to go really fast. It's true. Oh, let's do this. The Bucket List. One thousand adventures, big and small.

Do mushrooms and go on a trip somewhere. Tyler, every gift you've, every prize you've said, I would have taken home. It's insane to me that these were all left here. Everything's open. Everything's open. Anything else, Jerry? We're going to get out one more to the gay gentleman

who Maddie insulted very hard during his show. Shut up, Timothy Shalamaica. No, I love her. Weed or mushrooms? Mushrooms. Everybody's taking the mushrooms. This is good. Oh, Anna, you also get this book,

Eat, Pray, Love. No one wants that. That's yours. I feel like that's what you do after you have the mushrooms. You eat and then you pray and then you love. It's good. Tyler, how are all of our contestants doing on points?

What a round. What a great round. 500 points for Billy. 500 points for Daniel and for having the most fucked upset contemplating pussy cannibalism. 600 points for Madie Mae. Yes.

Agreed. Abree. All right, folks, how are you three feeling as we get into the panel portion of the game? Great. This is such a great crowd. You guys are a great crowd. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much.

We were supposed to have Dan on literally, it's funny you do the January 6th of top. The last show we were supposed to have Dan Lunders a year, almost a year ago. It was going to be a show on January 6th. Yeah, yeah, but I had a meeting, so I couldn't be there. Couldn't be there because I was there for all of you in the night. Right, okay. Maddie, Billy, how are you all doing? I've had a great time.

You do look like a cop. It's kind of crazy. Well, in addition to digging graves, I used to be a federal agent. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. That's crazy.

It was good. Now I just go around punching Nazis. I'm on the right side of things. That guy's a Nazi. Go punch him right now. John Loggins, talk me. One arm. When we just started to match me,

somebody on the fucking left. He's about somebody on the fucking right. Also, the comic who goes way too hard into the bit. Like, I do start punching. I don't know, this is illegal, I think. But he's, it's killing. He's laughing. I nominate the game to fight.

I bet he knows capoeira. The kid from Saltburn, he don't know shit. I bet you fight it, huh? That motherfucker fucker. That motherfucker has licked a bathtub. I know that for a fact. That's how he gets his powers. Which means we have something in common.

Okay. Billy, how are you feeling? I have to pee. Dude, just go. You know? I believe in you. Hold it. Are you peeing?

He's peeing right now? I mean, we'll give you more points if you pee on stage, for sure. I don't think the club will like it, but... No fluids. No, it has been due to the other, you know, I've been told we have to keep this thing. We have to keep this stage very dry. That's fair. It's been made before this moment.

Fluids are not allowed. Do not cut off any more of your pussy on the stage tonight, man. You don't want any of that to happen. Nah, man. I was gonna say, give it up for the pee pee king. Give it up for the peepie king. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like if you cut your pussy off, this guy's gonna squirt all over the fucking stage if we do that. We can't have that. No, I'm trying to determine if squirt is like water or if it's pee pee or not. You know what's not. No, it's not.

It's, somebody knows. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, delicious. Let's go and move on to our games. We have some fucked up games. Like I said, our first game is a game called Entweetment.

Yes, we clap. What we have done is we have dug up old social media posts, old tweets from all of our contestants tonight. We have blanked out some words. We are going to make them guess what they said, that they probably forgot that they said all those years ago.

Yeah, yeah. And I will say, we do have some stuff that is deleted from Billy. I don't know if you're ever going to find this one. But we are going to start up with one of mine, just so you guys see how the game works. Now, my producers always find some shit on me. They never tell me what it is in advance. I always find out live with you guys. So let's see what I said on October 3, 2014.

Okay, so my grandma finally figured out how to use the internet, blank. One retweet, three likes. Honestly, yeah, that's pretty good for me. Hunter knows. It's pretty good for my numbers. I have no idea what this could be. And we're supposed to guess what you said. Yeah, well, we'll see some options.

We're going to see two fake ones, one real one. We're going to figure out, you guys will guess which one you think the real one is. Option one. So glad my grandma finally figured out how to use the internet. I'm sick of having to hand write out oatmeal cookie recipes for this Luddite ass bitch.

That's pretty good. What's a Luddite? Thank you. A Luddite is somebody who does not use technology. You think that's the one? Yeah, I do look like I'd be saying Luddite. I do not. I look like I'd be dropping that.

I do not think so. Let's see option two, Tyler. So glad my grandma finally figured out how to use the internet. Enough to start sending me racist forwarded emails. That feels like you. I've read your tweets for years and years. That feels like you.

Option three. So glad my grandma finally figured out how to use the internet. I was getting really tired of her masturbating to printouts of Tom Selling. That's a good joke.

Thank you. That is a good joke. And that's why I made me feel like this one might not be yet. I'm gonna go option two. Okay? Dan says option two. We got two for Billy.

I'm gonna say two because I feel like all bitches be racist as fuck. But that's just how they are. You know what I mean? It is. Yeah. I love you, you racist, goofy, old bitch.

You know what I mean? Like, I love that. Makes a noise for racist old people, everybody. Makes some noise. I don't know if that's the noise. Yeah. More like, boo, fuck them. But still noise.

That's not the end word we should be making for the racist old people. I also think it's too. It seems like something that it would, I feel like actually... Old bitches do be racist. They do be racist. The bitches are racist.

Ha-zah. Points for everybody. Nice work. just be racist, especially the Asian ones. Yeah. That's true. Okay, all right. No, that's true.

Y'all have been no Asian old bitches. All right, they're racist as fuck. I've been bullied by two Asian women in the last month. Yes, I walked into a Thai restaurant. I ordered yellow curry, sette, and pineapple fried rice. And the woman looked at me and she goes, you having a party? And I go, uh, what?

That's not too much. food, right? And I go, just getting food. And then she puts her finger on the printed out receipt and goes, enough for three people. And I was like, and I folded like an old blanket. I was like, yeah, they made me come get the food. She's like, okay, you're so big. I felt horrible. Why did your Asian lady accent sound like a black lady? Now she was like that. He sounded Because I don't see vocal color. All right. Let's go ahead and bring up our next contestant.

Maddie Mae's. Come on over to the hot seat. All right, Maddie. Can I say something first before you show it? Sure. So I need everybody in this room to know I used to have really big Jojo CY energy. So I was a dweeb.

Okay. Used to. Roll the tweets. Roll the tweets. This is a little. a tweet you tweeted. One of our favorite dates here at the wrong game show on 9-11

2019 and blank 9-11. One comment, zero retweets, eight likes. What was going on at this point of your life? 2019, what was I doing? I was it was some old dick, I'll tell you that. It was some old dick. And

I think I was trying to be a silly girl. You know, I was just outside. I think I was learning. I I realized I had a voice as a woman. Yes. Shut up. I love when a white bitch hikes me up. I got some white bitches here that I have to.

As a woman of- Where I was at, Jay, to be honest with you. I don't know where I was at. I was in college. Well, let's see if you can guess. Now remember, Maddie, if you think you see the real one, don't guess until the very end, because Billy and Dan we'll get a chance to guess first.

Option one. How come no stores have 9-11 sales? Those towers came down, but prices can't come down, too. That's a great fucked up, Joe. Option two. Yo, do you think the 9-11 hijackers were autistic? I'd learn to be a pilot for one day. Eyes emoji.

Or option three. I dead ass forgot it was 9-11 today. La Mao. Oops. I'm gonna go three. We got three. I'm gonna go three. We got three. Billy.

What was two again? Two was the autistic hijackers. Maddie. Maddie? I really did forget it was fucking 9-11. She did! That tweet should have got way more traction, to be honest. Well, the fun fact, the one comment on the tweet is from you that said never forget right after one.

Maddie Mae's everybody. Oh my gosh. And next up, Dan, you're going to be in the hot seat. Your team wrote that first fake tweet of the prices can't come down. Because they deserve a round of applause. That is such a good fuck-up. You know, let's just do it. a round of applause for the team. I think that's for the whole

time. That's such a good, fucked up jokes. And I will just say we don't give these guys their praises enough. It makes noise. Besides Tyler, we have Daisy Green and Melanie are wonderful other producers. Cushing it. Crushing it. How many fingers? How many fingers? Okay. That's my wife you're

talking to. I looked all around the room. It's crazy. Those jokes, they maybe seem smarter than I actually was. Because my dumb ass, y'all pick the dumb bitchy of the ass, tweet. You know, this stupid idiot, bitch. Okay.

So, Dan, we found a tweet of yours from 2017. Okay. This is actually one of those popular tweets we found in the history of the show. Oh, really? It has 282 likes, 40 retweets, and 12 comments. Okay. Let's see that tweet. Little kids suck it telling stories, blank.

Okay. Somebody really liked this already. I like that. I probably could have stopped there. Learn to edit. Fucking yada yada yada Shut the fuck up, dude, that's it! Now, if you think you know the real one,

don't say it to the very end. Maddie and Billy, we'll get a chance to guess first. Option one. Little kids suck it telling stories. Say it in the order it fucking happened, and don't sidetrack about how much you like cereal. Option two. Little kids suck it telling stories.

No wonder the Catholic Church has been molesting for centuries, the Bible is easier to believe. Literally. Makes a noise for Christ, everybody. Shout out to the Christians. And option three, little kids suck at telling stories. No, sweetie, you didn't go to outer space today. You went through a fucking car wash.

Maddie, Billy, which one do you think is a real tweet? I mean, I think it's number one or number three, but based on the third reaction, because I'm playing this to win. So I think based on your reaction, I think it's number three. Okay, we got number one, we got number three. Dan, Dan Van Kirk, which one do you think is a real way? If my memory serves me correctly,

I also want to play this game and win it, that's why it's number one. It's number one! Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, fuck, pop, pop, buffa face, baby! Yes! Dano being Kirk, ladies and gentlemen, nice work. Billy Myers, get on over to the hot seat.

Makes noise for Billy, everybody. That plague ain't real. Social media. social media. Well, the good news is, so like I said, we did find a deleted tweet of yours. If you guys don't know this about Billy, Billy used to be in metal bands. Billy's in metal bands. And we think of a metal band fan saved this tweet because we found it on Finnish Twitter. We found it on Finland. Someone from Finland saved this. I have no idea what this is going to say.

I hope one of these is, one of the alt is, I want your pussy so fat, hit me up. Mattie. Hey, you know what's got a fat-ass? Got a job, but she got that fat-ass pussy. She's got three more days in the States. Somebody marry that bitch. I'm gonna do my, I'm gonna do, it's all caps, so I gotta scream it. Option one.

I want your pussy so fat that you have to hide the other pie in the fridge or else this fat fuck pussy will eat boat. It looks marbled like two rib-up. Option three. Way goo. Pussy so fat. It gets stuck in the pipe to the chocolate river and a bunch of tiny orange-faced men sing to

creation in front of its parents. If you like Billy's tweets, please be sure to Sue Rahim after the show. Please be sure you're Sue Rahim. Uh, yeah. Annie, which one do you think is a real tweet? First of all, Billy, what the fuck, bro? Bro, you was that star for pussy.

for pussy, that's crazy. You were goony, you were goony. Yeah. Yeah, that's why you wanted that off-menu pussy. That's why. Yeah. You wanted that chef's special pussy. You need to custom orders sometimes.

You need to feel alive with something new. You want that, just let the chef send something out, pussy. Yeah. Also, you type how you talk. Yeah. 100%. All right. All right, based on how I know that you talk,

I think it's this one. For fun, I'll go two. I'll go number two. All right, we got number two? Well, it ain't that. Number two's the ribai. The marbled ribeye. I'm guessing as well.

The marbled ribeye. That's number two. Okay. I think it's that one. Can I change my answer? No. It's the marbled rib. My favorite, I watched the audience.

There were some legitimately shocked reactions at this one. Good job, everybody. You get a prize in the back. I saw that face. Tyler, Melanie, run around a prize. You want weed or mushrooms? Mushrooms for the lady in the back. You know what it was? It's the word slapped. A comic

is going to write slapped in that fucking tweet. You will get mushrooms and this book Maui revealed the ultimate guidebook. That's for you. Hope you're going to Hawaii soon. That book's on fire. That was for you, Judge. That's just for us.

languages this is it's Finnish it was finished finish finish Finland metal bands yeah my mom really like Scottish pirate metal dead ass I mean your mom your mom's a white story I have an on go you're gonna love this Maddie's mom get out of him also a great name for a band Maddie's mom yeah we're all we all hear it yeah all right folks Died. Can I?

No, he just died of like cancer or some shit. Oh, that's not as sad for sure. It's dying of cancer. Makes noise for dying of cancer, everybody. That's what you have. All right, folks. Our next game, this is a special brand new game for the holidays. This is a game called The Nottie List.

Oh, yeah, Richard knows. Rich has been on the Nottie List for fucking centuries. What we have here, folks, of course, the Nottie List, you famously get Cole from Santa Claus if you're on the naughty list. And we have a nice little Advent calendar here full of some of the most famously naughty people in history.

Tyler, let's see that Advent calendar. Yeah. So our contestants are going to pick one of these numbers and behind that door they will find a famously naughty person. We're going to need you guys to pretend that you're Santa Claus as this person, this contestant pleads their case

to why they should not be on the naughty list anymore. Yeah. You with it? You're with it? Let's do it. Maddie, you will be going first. Which number would you like? I want to do number 11 because a dog cute. The dog is cute. The dog, yeah, the dog with the front paws covered, the back paws.

It's cute. It bet not be dead-y. Yeah, because the dog is brown. Also, how many bottles of loop before we start calling him Sean, by the way? Maybe a defendant's name might get it taken more seriously. Just tossing it out. Just costing it out. Let's see who's behind door number 11.

It's Chris Dalia. Hey, guys. Hey, welcome back to the comedy store's age, Crystalia. It's been a while, Chris. It's been a while. Famously naughty. I do love that the hat is clearly Photoshop, and this smile is somehow real.

This is a fucked up smile. You can almost smell a leather jacket. Maddie, you have 30 seconds on the clock to defend why Christelia should be off the naughty list. Yeah. Starting now. All right.

So like, he got some real strong teeth, right? Them thing, if you ever, like, were in a dangerous position, he could f-r-r-r-r-r-the-way through it, you know what I mean? And also, too, like, I mean, that one show, uh, uh, uh, you, where he played, uh, pern-o-oh-oh-oh. Um, he was a great actor. It was so convincing. Um, I know it's like we would never know he was, you know?

Like, shark eyes. which is very intimidating. So if you ever needed somebody's ass to get beat, call him. And that's time, ladies and gentlemen. All right. Santa audience, do we think that Chris DeLea is off the naughty list?

That's fucking right, Maddie. You got to do better next time. I think somebody trying to set me up. I'm losing right now. This is crazy. I'm getting set up. All right. Tyle, let's pull that Advent calendar back up.

All right. Billy, you are going to be next. Which number? Which number would you like? Number 25. Yeah, we got Santa. What is he doing? My wife did think that this,

he was eating shit and drinking cum on this one. Yeah. Don't know why. Shit it and cum to Santa for the win. Let's C25. Now there's Diddy. There's Sean. That's Sean for you.

Two musicians, just guys trying to make it. in this business. Also, the position he's sitting in right now, I was like, what's you gonna say? What's you gonna say right now? This is a position the black guy drinking tea took when he started talking about, hey, do you wanna drink some tea with me?

This is the same pose. All right, Billy, you have 30 seconds to tell us why Diddy should not be on the naughty list, starting now. And is Diddy off the naughty list? I love this. No, because he raped way more bitches than the last one.

Not Sean. He provided lubrication that's nice yeah that's the big difference you can be way not here yeah if Delea's openers had a thousand bottles of baby oil we'd be in a different story but that's just not the case all right Dana Van Kirk let's pull that Advent calendar up for you which number would you like I'm gonna go with 14 number 14 a couple of candles this is nice candles win tree probably smell I think they smell like Santa's come and Santa's shit.

That's based on those colors. Let's go with those two dynamite sticks. Let's see what's behind door number 14. Oh, it's Casey Anthony. Famously naughty Casey Anthony. Good news is she doesn't have to share presents if she's off the naughty list.

None of those fucking kids around. Good news. Daniel Van Kirk, you have 30 seconds to defend why she should be off the naughty list starting now. Okay. Any parents in the room? Any parents in the room? We got Richard.

Right. We got Richard. Right. Richard, right? You have multiple children you don't speak to anymore. Casey Anthony, I'm not going to stand up here before my fellow Americans. True Americans. And say that she's a good person, all right?

But you know what she did? She did something so that no one else has to do it. She did something so that you could go, oh, I'm a bad mom? Am I Casey Anthony? And then your kid's going to go, you know, right? I do love you, Diane. I do love you. She did that so that none of you have to.

She did that. And also, we don't know what those kids said to her. That's time, everybody. That's time. Wow. Daniel Van Kirk. Is Casey Anthony off the naughty list, folks? We got some of the Aussies think no,

but everybody else said yes. So sorry, Ozzy's. Casey Anthony off the naughty list. I was neighbors with Casey Anthony when it happened. What? Yeah, I lived a block away and I'm from Florida, you can tell. Were you always out your way? Shut those fucking kids up.

Do you know how hard this world I could take you out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. And then that shit happens and she was right. Right. What did you do for work at the time? This is not a great, no. We do not have time for this.

All right. I think let's have, I mean, Daniel and Billy definitely fucking crushed it. I think Maddie, let's give Maddie one more chance. Okay, yeah. Let's give her the last chance. Maddie, you're going to get a second chance here. Oh, thank you. Yeah, that last one I feel like I got set the fuck up.

I'm gonna do number nine, ho, ho, ho. Number nine, ho, ho. Oh, perfect. Okay, nine, you did nine and eleven, just so you know, so you didn't forget. She forgot this time. She forgot this time. I really didn't forget. Yeah.

It's the autism, sorry. Number nine. Let's see what's behind door number nine. Oh, Harvey Weinstein. You know what? Take your pick. And we got a Hillary Clinton Chaser. Look at that. That's good. Wait, Weinstein or Hillary Clinton, which one?

Well, Weinstein. I mean, you can do both if you want. Uh-huh. Let's do Weinstein. Why don't we keep getting all these rapists? What the fuck? All right. Okay, Weinstein.

So many movies. Oh, my God. You put on your favorite movie. Love, actually. What happens when you see it? Weinstein Company. You're not thinking about this man.

Who thought about this man before any of this happened? I had no idea what this man looked like at all, at all. And I would just think about these amazing movies I would see. And I would never think about the nasty, dirty things he was doing behind closed doors. And here's the thing, right now. We're talking about right now. We're talking about right now. Repentance has been made.

I don't think he should make any more movies or take advantage of any more actresses and other bad bitches in cinema but I do think you know maybe he can you know get a candy cane instead of a lump of cold this year and that's time

I did my best you did your best did she do enough is Harvey Weinstein off the naughty list unless she just willed her way into it yes even though clearly you know we'll take it whatever and that's the naughty list everybody that's been the naughty list

getting the yes out of that. Maddie, I feel like you could have just said, oh, do any of you men in between girlfriends not want Quentin Tarantino do exist? And then they'd all cheer for you. That's true. White people, who wants to say that to Quentin? All right, folks.

We have one more game that we're going to play. One more game. This is a game, one of our favorites. It's called The Discomfort Zone. Tense music, cued, ready to go. We have found some things on the internet. We've already covered some of their Twitters. We've found some other things, though.

We have some questions. And their job is to answer these questions in the funniest possible way. Daniel Van Kirk, we are going to start off with you. Let's get Dana Van Kirk in the hot seat. Thanks a noise for Dana v. So you first came into my radar, and I think a lot of comedy fans' radars

with your wonderful Mark Wahlberg impression. Yeah. Do you still do, you still drop a little Mark in there every now and again? Yeah, in my special that's out right now. You should go watch this special. Rose gold. Rose gold. You give us a little bit right now?

I can talk like this whenever you want to. You want me to fucking talk like this? You don't want a mock on this fucking show. If Mark's on this fucking show, he's going to fucking win, and you're all going to have an orgasm, okay? I can do this all fucking day, dude. That was really good. That was, like, really good.

Thanks, buddy. And Dan has been doing Mark for very long. We actually found this video. I think this from 2012, you did a Down syndrome benefit show. We got this little clip. Sure, we're here. We just did our stand-up for Down show. This is Dan Van Kirk, aka.

Mark Wahlberg. I do a little Mark. How are you guys doing? You guys doing good? Thanks for letting me come on here this day. I'm real happy to bring a little best celebrity to us. Hopefully makes people laugh and do something good. You didn't make anybody laugh.

Nothing's changed. We also found, as you've evolved in your career, you do a lot of podcasts and stuff. You do the wonderful Dumb People Town with the Sklar brothers. We got a recent clip from that that we had some questions about. Woman with pitchfork and whip arrested outside Publix in Florida. You have a whip in your car and you don't. your car and you don't use it. You're like, what did I even get this for? So much of my childhood.

And you had the whip. Everybody had whips. Every kid in Wisconsin bought whips. It's very true. It's 100% true. Everybody, every kid in Wisconsin where you grew up bought whips. Every kid had whips. Every kid was playing with whips. There was no regulatory commission in the state of Wisconsin on buying whips. No one thought this is a bad idea.

We weren't like little racist kids. We just wanted to be Indiana Jones. But me and all my cousins, there's nine of us running around with wips. That's sort of Okay. Now what we need you to do? Our question for you. Okay. We'd like you to explain to the nearest black person why all the kids in Wisconsin love playing with whips and we want you to do it is Mark Walker.

Okay. We do have very conveniently a tea-drinking black gentleman right there. Okay. Explain. All right, first of all, first of all, I'm not even from Wisconsin, okay? I grew up in fact, in Rochelle, Illinois. I would go there to visit. But like most kids in Wisconsin,

I've never even seen a black person. You can't have racist if you don't know what you're fucking racist against. All we wanted to do was try to kill deer with fucking whips. You know how hard that is to fucking do? And then when we couldn't catch a deer, we would make my brother Donnie dress up like a fucking deer and we would chase Donnie around and whip him.

Now, did we put him in black face? Sort of. But he was a deer. We didn't fucking. No. We didn't, you had to put shoe polish on him to make him look like a tear. Did he look like he was blackface? That's Dornie's fucking problem, okay? That's not my problem, because I'm the best little whipper in town. I apologize. Dano Van Kirk, everybody. Maddie Mays, you are in the hot seat next. Come on over. Makes noise for Maddie, everybody. I just want to say that first, without you, without the beard, you look like the evolution of dance guy. Without the beard. I'll take that. Thanks for saying I'm sexy.

All right. Maddie Mays, you went extremely viral this year. Yeah. Millions and millions of views across all sorts of social media platforms with this stand-up clip. It's hard being a bad bitch when you're autistic. Because nobody believes you. Just like damn, just because I'm sexy, don't mean I can't be on the spectrum. Every time I talk about the Zoic, people like, oh, we don't believe you. We aren't really on the spectrum. I'm just like, bitch, I'm fucking you.

I built this social battery, y'all. I earned this. But when my social battery runs out, I'm going outside. I'm picking up some cool rocks and I'm putting them in my pocket. I mean, is this a firearm? I'm like, no, it's actually a metaphoric wrong. That's great. That's good.

That's a good bit? It's actually the first joke I ever wrote. You gave me a rock for my birthday. That's true. What kind of rock? It's a brown one. I don't know. It's like a river rock.

It's like a river rock. It's got a real rough, weird, like white part on it. It's great. Yeah, you're my white king, doll, you're my friend. Now, in the wake of this bit going viral, you got a lot of followers, you got a lot of support, but you also get, you got some hate, you got some bullying. Oh no. You did find this one tweet, somebody actually called you, it got a little racial. It was a little strange.

This one tweet. Being white skin and thick will get you so far in life. I know. Yeah. But this is the crazy thing. So this person, Deney Simone, does not think that you're black enough. Yeah. Right?

You can do white skin. But it's interesting because you grew up in a very like, what would you, not segregated community, but a very like racially difficult. I know you're about to do. I know you're about to bring, we're about to bring up this medium post that you wrote from 2020. Where you talked about getting bullied as a child and looking in the mirror and saying, why can't I be white? Why can't I look like these other girls?

Why can't I be pretty like them? I stared so long that I came out of the bathroom asking my mother to call me Katie, a white persona that I made up. I figured that if I could pretend to be white like everyone else, I would stop getting bullied. My mother refused to call me Katie, and I thank her for it. Man, this is true. So this is a problem, because as a kid you got bullied for not. being white enough and now as an adult you're not going to believe for not being black enough

yeah so i think the only appropriate question to ask here is would you rather be more black and less autistic or less black and more autistic it's a pretty easy question bro what the fuck this is very easy question of course i won't be more black and less autistic bro explain why tell us why i'm twiddling magnets because i'm nervous I'm gonna say with like I was one every know I'm black bro less black and more autistic that's my younger brother very autistic a whole lot of freckles but very autistic oh my god no bro more black and less I then I could rap that'd be cool that's a good answer makes for Maddie Maene Mayne's the third what shit this could be I'm really excited about

this one first of me Jay's a fucking psychopath. I am. You're an evil fucking psycho. We just do psychological warfare on people on the show. That's all we do. So, um, hold on, I gotta get this up, your beautiful jacket.

Okay, so in your Twitter, in your deleted tweets, we found a lot of stuff that you were saying, there was a lot of music talk, we found an argument that you got into with a guy, we found an argument you got into with a guy about Michael Jackson's music. So the first guy said, I don't think, first guy said, I don't think Michael Jackson's music is good enough to justify the pedophilia. That's true. And you responded, The man made the entire world happy from the age of six till 50, just by singing and dancing that's worth a couple kids.

Have you heard thriller? By the way, shout out to the German who saved this tweet. One of your German fans fulg in you and saved this suite. Now, of course, we, you're going to defend your position. Why would we? wouldn't you? Where's that? Where's the German tweet? This is the German tweet. Oh, I love Louis Vuitt. Don't fucking talk.

We gotta just get through the thing. We have a question for you, of course. Because of course, we all know, Michael Jackson love to hang out with kids. Look at how many kids he's hanging out with, like. What? He's hanging out with Asian kids. He's hanging out with the sound of music kids. He's hanging out with African kids. He's got a sick kid right in there. Look at that most of these photos, he's like, these are my hands.

These are my parking kids. Because like, here he do color like Barney with a purple shirt. Like that's, yeah, you don't discriminate. I'll tell you that. Now, here's the thing, we don't know how many of these kids he touched over the years. Probably, who knows how many kids? But he's probably hung out with hundreds of thousands of kids over the years. So the question we have for you, Billy.

How many kids would Michael Jackson need to molest for his music to not be worth it? Okay, all right, all right, I've talked about this. We have a scale we'd like to show you. have a scale we'd like to show. Okay. So on this end, where this is gonna be like two kids. Okay. And on this end, this is way more kids than that.

So give us your rundown, break it down on the scale, please. Okay, listen. From the age of six till 50, the entire world. Do you know how many people that is? World was happier. because he sung and danced. You name another person that's brought more joy into the universe. Did he?

No, no, not even fucking close. We're talking fucking 40 years of joy. He limited kids could, like, it's like saying, hey, if we could heal humans, but we need a lot of baboon heart. to figure out how to cure I'm cooking. Hey man, we might have to make baboons extinct but we're never going to have heart attacks again. Fucking they can go.

There's a kid right now getting fucked in the mouth off to the sheet. No, we're not getting fucking off the wall or bad or anything out of it. We're getting therapy pills. Hey, he's got a point. So like 26? I'm gonna, no, I'm gonna, 333. Like, it's splitting the difference. It's sort of right here, right just in the smack dab in the middle, the 33.

Yeah. Sure. Are we satisfied with this answer? Nobody likes to hear it, but it's fine. I just want to say this image looks like he's very, It looks like he's bringing Israel and Palestine together. He's uniting the whole... I stand by the...

I also want to say for who's ever using their cell phone to record this show, I am not affiliated with a lot of the stances that have been presented here today. But I do stand by this one. Billy Myers, everybody. That's good air to this. Look at that. We set you up for a win there. We got you.

We've made some people legitimately uncomfortable. Can we just play PYYT? for a second. I'll say right now the lights are way too bright. You picked away slow with Milo. Yeah. Folks, this is actually great timing. Because we know we've had some fucked up things that we've said tonight.

We literally just ended the show almost with Billy talking about somebody getting mouth fucked up to the sheath. Those are, like, that's exact quote. Other, yeah. You, the whole thing, the sheep? You guys came all the way from Austria. All the way from Australia, I think we've made your week more fucked up by you being here at this show. But we want you guys to get out of here on a nice note, right? And while Tyler tallies up the points, let's fade that music out please, Milo.

We have a... We have a pallet cleanser around, right? We're gonna cleanse your palettes with some nice, clean jokes, with our palette clenzer round. We're going to cleanse the show. Everybody here, we've asked them to tell a clean, wholesome joke to get us a song. to get us all out of here on a nice note. Yeah, see, we're getting there, yes. And we're gonna start up.

Billy Myers the third. Oh no. Everybody, please make some noise for Billy Myers-Doh. A lot of things this evening. He was 33 when he got that book deal. It's all you need, buddies, just 12 drinking buddies, just be like, hell yeah, you are. You never build a spice rack again.

That was a carpentry joke. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. For a clean, welcome joke for Maddie Mae's, everybody. Maddie Mae Mays. Be honest with everybody here. I don't think I have any clean material. But I really like this joke.

And I want you guys to hear this from the heart in a very open way. And understand that what I'm about to say comes from a place of honesty and pure, pure silliness. Okay? We ready? So I'm a friend that was raped by a magician. Not the joke, you sick fucks. I think the last person I was. want to be raped by would be a magician because he'd probably do some silly ass shit like announce

it beforehand he'd be like and for this next trick i'm gonna make this condom disappear magnum cadabra okay you know i'd have to go to the police you don't do the rape kit and they're like man man we're so sorry your specimen just turn it to confetti i think the worst part i think the worst part would be going to a support group afterwards you know I have to talk about my trauma. I'd stand up and I'd say hi. My name is Maddie. I had to abort a bunny.

They pulled the ears and then it was just hangage and after hang it after hang itchip, after hang itchip. Okay, that's my joke. Hey, man. A guy gets done from work. He stops in to the bar and he goes to a bartender, can I get a beer? And the guy goes, yeah, for sure.

So he has a beer. And then he goes, hey, uh, can he goes, hey, uh, can't sit in the bar? I get one more beer. And the guy goes, yeah, yeah, what's your problem? He's like, I'm not supposed to drink. I got to make my train. The guy goes, the barge says, okay, well, here's one more. And then the guy proceeds to have a third beer, a fourth beer, the fifth beer.

And when he takes the fifth beer, he's fucking hammered drunk. And he spills the beer all over the front of his shirt. And he's freaking out. The barger says, what the fuck, dude, it's just beer. He goes, I know, but I think I could have it's sober. And now I'm going to go home and I'm going to have beer all over me. And my wife's going to know because I'm going to smell like beer. He goes, I got you, but I got you.

I got you. He takes a $10 bill out. He goes, just give me back some time. Put this right in your shirt. And so he puts the shirt. He goes, what for you? He goes, you get home. You see your wife, and you be sober.

She's going to smell the beer. And you just say to her, you go, some drunk asshole bumped into me, spilled beer all of my shirt. So he gave you money for the drycloth. So he goes home, he gets off the train. He goes home. And his wife, his wife goes, oh, my God. You smell like a fucking bar.

He goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some guy, he ran into me and he spilled beer all over me. So he gave me $10 for dry cleaning because he felt so bad. And then the wife goes, well, why is there 20 bucks in here? And he goes, because he's shit in my pants too. Lovely. I love him we ask people to do clean jokes. We talked about magician rape and shitting in pants.

And that's what the show's all about. That's what we're here for. Tyler has tabulated the scores. Tyler, let's go ahead and give out some prizes. Well, we're going to have audience prizes. Oh, yes. Audience prize. We have a shitload of audience.

If you have not got an audience prize yet, please raise your hand. We know some people haven't got prizes. Melody's going to come around and give out some prizes. Okay, okay. Let me know who gets them. All right, because I'm going to give them books as well. Okay.

We're moving really fast. All right, pick one of that. That's how to get our reality television by the guy who one survivor. That's for you. Get him away twice. Came back both times. Hey, you get this one away.

This is a new introduction of photography book. once I gave that one away. All right. This one I gave away four times. It's an autobiography by Alaparis. Unqualified. I don't want that. I think I have it. All right, uh, feng shui, feng shui, one time. Feng sway, feng sway, feng sway. All right, hey, do you like that spirituality? Marianne Williams wrote a book about saving America. All right, and hey, I've given them away seven times. No one wants this fucking thing. It's a book about Florida. Just so everyone knows, The very first show we did it wrong at Pack Theater. Jay said, we got some prizes.

I said, what are we going to get? And then that day, Ellen Generous show ended. And they gave out all the shit that was on her show, including boxes and boxes of Ellen books. So, in third place, with 9900 points. It's Billy Myers, everybody. Billy Myers, you get this. It's Ellen Generous, the children's book.

It's for kids. It's Ellen Generous. She's a kid. She's a weird, blue-eyed kid. That's for you. In second place. You're gonna love this book, I think. It's all, it's still wrapped up.

It's Maddie Mazer. It's Maddie Mays, the road to home. And Oprah, in a car. What's gonna happen? You'll find out. Or you just keep it wrapped up and sell it to somebody. I don't know. And our grand prize.

The first 1,000 shows of Ellen. Today we're in here. These are prize contents. Melody's gonna keep giving out some weight. We do have for our contestants for playing today. a cut out of cancellation free card. Anything you've said on this show will keep you alive. Just turn this card in at your next Hollywood meeting.

You're going to be just fine. Thank you. Guys, that's been wrong on fucked up game show. Make sure. Staying your bank card. We are back here every first Saturday in the month at the World Famous Comedy Store. If you like the show, please come see us again some time.

If you're traveling, safe travels. If you're in town, we'll see you next time. Happy holidays. Happy New Year. We'll see you guys. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. Get home to stay.

Shout out, Milo. Very good.