WRONG! A Fucked Up Game Show - WHAT'S A LOT LIZARD? (ft. Andrew Collin, Angie Stroud, Keith Ray)

Episode Date: January 18, 2025

Recorded live at The Comedy Store in Los Angeles, CA on January 4th, 2025.OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS: Andrew Collin, Angie Stroud, Keith RaySUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE to watch full shows in glorious HD!⁠���⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠COME SEE US LIVE!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Upcoming Shows:SAN DIEGO: 1/24 @ Mic Drop Comedy Club, 10 PMLA: 2/1 @ The Comedy Store, 11:45 PMDONATE TO THE LAFD WILDFIRE EMERGENCY FUND: https://supportlafd.kindful.com/?campaign=1040812cover photo by Van Corona Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Wrong, a fucked up game show podcast edition. Thanks for bearing with us while we dealt with the wildfires and figured out the best time to record and release some new stuff. Now that we're physically safe and mentally sound, we've got a new episode for you guys. This is our first episode of the year, recorded live at the Comedy Store on January 4th. This one features Andrew Collin, Angie Stroud, and Keith Ray. It's a real dynamite episode. y'all are going to love it if you like the show please consider telling a friend subscribing on youtube or to the podcast here on apple or spotify or every you listen to podcasts leave us a review

if you want to help donate to do the wildfire funds i will put a link in the show notes for that we can not worry about coffee for a little while and if you're coming to see a live show if you want to do san diego we'll be there in about a week on the 24th It's next Friday, 10 p.m. at Mike Drop, and back at the Comedy Store on the 1st of February 1145, our usual time slide. We will be doing donation drives at these shows to help with wildfire relief for Los Angeles. So keep your eyes peeled for those. We'll be making some announcements soon on our social media accounts at Wrong Game Show. Follow us on Instagram.

You can follow us on TikTok if you want, but I don't know if it's going to be around. but, you know, within 24 hours of this episode going up. So anyway, go figure. And, yeah, without further ado, let's get wrong. Live from the world-famous comedy store is wrong. A fucked up game show. Roses Jay-Law! Enthusiasm.

You got it. You got enthusiasm. You got enthusiasm. We all got enthusiasm. Let's make some fucking noise. I like your clapping stance, Miss. That's good. That's very, very...

Oh, that's good. What's your name? Laurel. Laurel. Let's go ahead and give Laurel a couple of points, Tyler. Right off the gate. Yes, we like this. By the way, I'm Jay Light.

I'm your host. My man over in the corner over there. That is Tyler Mezzanerich. Make some noise for him. He is. Sidekick, scorekeeper. He is here to facilitate the game, which is wrong. Who likes game shows?

Makes noise if you like game shows. Now, in most game shows, you want people to do things right. Not here. We want people to do things. Ron. We want people to do, I think we got to get everybody on board for this one. I pointed directly, what's your name?

Capri. Give Capri a couple points too, Tyler. Capri is really given nice, you got a nice enter. You're in the front row, but we got to get everybody on the level of Laurel and Capri, okay? We like it when people do things.

Wrong! What did I just do with my legs? Did anyone else just see that? Yeah, I saw. What the fuck? What's going on? Anyway, we're like it when people do things wrong, folks, because we're here to celebrate when things are wrong. We've got comics, the best in the city.

They are going to be up here getting wrong with you guys tonight. We are going to have them tell some dark, dirty, fucked-up jokes. We were going to take them into some uncomfortable places in their past. We looked up their old social media posts. Yeah. Things they probably thought they had deleted. We found some shit on all these people. We are going to commit psychological warfare on them tonight for your entertainment.

Are you ready to get wrong? Now the great news is the comics of course are competing but you guys as an audience you also have a chance to get some prizes tonight Our sponsor as always the wonderful folks at Maxwell Farms right over here Maxwell Farms everybody They brought some some what we got over there tonight Tyler I got a lot of edibles cereal bars I assume those are very hefty and trouble If you have trouble I got some pre rolls pre rolls and I have some mushrooms Oh We love mushrooms.

Available to the audience. Yes, she's doing mushrooms. We love it. All right. We are going to be giving out audience prizes throughout the show, but the first thing is the game for you guys to see who's had the worst week and who gets the best prizes right out of the gate.

This is a game called Worst Week. Fucking thing sucks! Yes. Oh, man. We have, as you filled out on your cards there, we did have a couple people. We didn't see your cards. If you guys want to give those over, just in case

We want to see if they're better than what we have already. We asked you guys all to submit, yeah, in five words or less, why you had the most fucked up week. You didn't put anything. I mean, oh, you can't, okay. But you put more than three words on here. You wrote, I kissed three guys yesterday. I'm a lesbian, in parentheses.

Wow. I'll give her a prize for that. We'll give her a prize. Tyler, what's she get? You have some mushrooms. Why don't? Here, I'll give you this. You have mushrooms, and I think this will fit you.

This is Zodiac Killer T-Shift. that I have. I don't know what it is. It's a small. So, I don't know. It's probably fits. We're just going to call our lesbian. Brandon, X-wrote script about me.

All right. That's actually, it's not quite as good as I think the other ones that we might have. But you know, we'll see. Brandon, you're in the running. What kind of script was it? All of the guys go to Assholes Anonymous and talk about why they're pieces of shit. Sounds boring and derivative. It will never

get made. Well, you know, You know what, let's keep Brandon in the running for this, actually. I think this is fun. We got two other submissions that we have ready to go. We have Kate G. Kate G, where are you at, Kate G? Hi, Kate.

Kate, not five words or less, but we'll take it, accidentally got high the second mom came to visit. Come on up here, Kate. Everybody makes noise for Kate. Make some noise for Kate, everybody. She might be high right now. Make her feel comfortable. Yeah, are you high right now?

Is your mom still here visiting? And you're not high? No, of course that. We can help you get high with prizes from Maxwell Farms. We're going to see which prize you get in just a second, Kate. Did you do anything awkward with your mom the moment you got when she arrived and you were high? I wish you did too. That would have been great. Unfortunately, you failed at your portion of this show.

It's fine. We still got you. Stay hanging right tight right here. We also have conveniently enough Laurel, Laurel, no kiss on New Year. or Dick. Weirdly phrased, I think I know what you meant there, but let's get Laurel come on up here, Laurel, coming up. Is that a thing? Like at midnight, you get Dick? Maybe, I wish.

What were you doing on New Year's? Oh, you should have definitely gotten Dick at a producer's house. That is Dick Central on New Year's Eve. I've been in Hollywood a long time. I know how much you can get Dick down if you just... I mean, look, we both have the same lips. We could easily get Dick down. Yes.

Hi. We could have done it. It's okay. I didn't get any dick on New Year's either. My wife is out of town. All right. You know what? I like this. We're going to have Brandon. You're going to stay in the running. So you're going to be right there. We have Laurel. We have Kate. Who do we think had the most fucked up week?

Was it Brandon? Make some noise if you think it was Brandon. Do we think Kate had the most fucked up week? Her friends came to show. That's very nice. And do we think Laurel had the most fucked up week? A surprise last minute Entrant Brandon in the most fucked up week Wow Brandon All of you all are going to get prizes

Yeah I do have prizes for all of them Where Melanie can we get Our prize gal makes a noise for a prize gal Melanie everybody By the way yeah it's her birthday As a four minutes ago And she's working on her birthday All right let's do that

And then these here I'll just explain what they are Take them take them all All right Third we've never done this before Kate you got this I'm sorry you didn't have fucked up enough, but you can smoke a pre-roll.

Give her a pre-roll, and then also give... Kate is over here. They're all on stage. She's also a little high. All right. And then, wait, Melanie's a little cross-fated right now. Kate, you got the pre-roll, and you also got Max, the dog. Max, the surfing dog for McDonald's.

No, no, it's the dog. The dog. That's for Fiki. It's too late, Mel. It's too late, Tyler. Melanie is cross-fated. This was a mistake to trust her. Yes, it was.

All right. For Laurel, I'm sorry, you got your prize taken away. You got Max the surfing dog from the Little Mermaid. Very cute. McDonald's toy, not in condition. Yeah. I looked it up, I guess, so it gets $2 on eBay if you want to sell it. And Brandon, Brandon, you got an edible.

And you got this old photograph. It's William B. Cody's gravestone. I found it in New York. He's very weird. Very exciting. And Laurel, we'll get you a pre-roll too. Give her pre-roll as well. Everybody makes noise for our audience members.

I appreciate that Kate almost sat down on the stage. She's like, I'm a part of the show now. I will be, I promise, I will be funny at some point if you let me do it. Don't worry, guys. Now we got the pros here ready to be funny. It is time to start our game. With the first round where we find out what our contestants think is fucked up, with the game conveniently called, let's get fucked up.

Yes, and we clap. We clap. We clap. We clap. Do you want to take the photo of the grave? You're going to put it over your headboard? A little spooky bitch over there? You're going to put that shit right over there?

I like this. Very fun. It's Buffalo Bill Cody. It's real. I don't know. I went through like 200 photographs, and I was like, I guess this is funny. You imagine Tyler just at a Goodwill looking through 200 photographs of graves? Just like, what is the best grave that I can do?

enough about Tyler's proclivities. Let's go ahead and bring up our contestants. This game show, of course, is a fucked-up game show. We have asked all of our contestants to prepare their most fucked up material for you guys tonight, okay? It could be dark, it could be dirty, but we'll definitely be... They got it! You guys got it! This is the first time that's ever happened. You guys said the right thing. Thank you. Give yourselves a round of applause.

Great job. Let's go and meet our contestants. Our first contestant, When she was in 11th grade, she ran the 800 meters in the Dublin distance fiesta and finished in 92nd place. We hope she does better tonight. Make some noise for Angie Stroud, everybody. Angie Stroud!

I'm scared. This is already scary. They're going into my cross-country history. It's bad. I just should preface and just let you know that I started Twitter in 2020 and I thought the world was ending, so I was really shooting from the hip. Just got to get ahead of things.

Also, it turns out you guys give prizes to anybody. Jesus Christ. You should call this wrong the participation trophy. Fuck. All the good stuff's gone already. But let's get into it. This is going to be my last set after this game show.

I just got done with a Friends with Benefits situation. You guys heard of this? Friends with Benefits. I think Friends with Benefits is a scam invented by men. Like you mean to tell me that I swallow your cum and you don't help me move? Oh boy. What am I a princess? A tiara on my head? Nope, just come. I had a cheeky Friends with Benefits over the summer and

I asked him one day I was like hey I've swallowed so much cum would you please help me move apartments and he said oh nah I'm actually working on boundaries right now I know they've taught them therapy words it's incredible yeah but you know I'm not only straight I'm bisexual as we all are it's not brave no it's okay bisexual is the baseline in LA. You know, if anything, people are like, oh, only two genders. Okay. Looks like your body stands for bigot. Well, yeah, you know, I have jokes about women in my set. I don't have jokes about guys because it usually goes pretty well, you know, they'll help me move like a person, you know. So if anything, I end up being the asshole, because someone's got to be,

you know, and so I went on a date with this one-in-one time and she texted me the very next day, She texted me, oh my God, I had such a great time. I would love to see you again soon. And I texted her back like, I'm actually working on boundaries right now. Yeah, it's weird. You know, I feel like a lot of guys are commitment phobes. The only guys that I've met that aren't commitment phobes are like people on the sidewalk, and you don't want that.

You ever make eye contact with a guy on the sidewalk? He acts like a ghost from that 80s movie. He's like, you can see me. Wait. I have a message for you. we gotta talk fuck I realize there's guys that have anything

going for them they don't want commitment it takes being shoeless on the street to be like I'm ready for a wife I'm ready to settle down you know but I feel like a lot of guys see us

like we're puppies you know like they're really happy when we play and cuddle and lick peanut butter off their dicks but the second that they're shit they're like oh it's not cute anymore

I'm going to drop her off on the side of the road. But women, we're not that much better. We see guys like their Play-Doh, you know. We're like, you know, I can turn them into a different thing, you know. That's what we mean when we say we have crushes on people. We mean I won't crush him. Build a new guy. You like the bachelor now, you know?

But it's the weird thing is we try to change guys and you can't, you know? Like half the men in this room right now are wearing underwear from 2,000. But I think you're going to change for me? No, no, no, no. I'm working on a theory. Have you ever met those guys that rate women on numerical scales? No. Great guys.

Some of our best. Mathematicians, I call them. Well, I'm here to tell you that they've evolved. They've gone regional. Have you heard this? They'll be like, yeah, that girl is in LA 6. Midwest. Midwest eight. That girl's in LA 5 Midwest 7 that girl's in LA 10 she can't go to the Midwest it's not safe

She's a Midwest have you seen this woman bring her home and we have an exchange rate across borders now ladies that's kind of cool You know and down on your luck in Los Angeles get a ticket to Kansas they'll throw a parade for you They'll dance in a circle around you like midsummer like you're never leaving That's how it works with women. I think it works a little differently for guys. I think guys that are LA-10s are Midwest negative fours. The guys that pass as attractive in Los Angeles would be chased with pitchforks in Missouri.

They'd be like, rip jeans and gauges. That's a witch. They'd be like, come on, y'all. We're going to go see if Timothy Shalmay can float. All right. That's my time. much. Angie Stroud everybody. And shout to the couple who just came in when she was talking about come on the forehead

like a tiara. Good time, audience members. By the way, having a hand for your server, Evan, by the way. He's going to be taking care of you guys all night, so make sure you take care of him. Let's go ahead and meet our next contestant. Come to us all the way from Austin, Texas, but he is originally from the same state as Mike Pence, Jared Fogel and the KKK. Let's see if he's just as cool. Makes noise for Keith Ray, everybody. Keith Ray! It's so big you no longer fear prison.

To me, I haven't already done to myself. Just dropped off five dokey dicks. Over here, it's like I shoot a gang bang. It's more of a joke for the fellows in the room. Stick with poop. We big poopers here. You guys poop? y'all be uh you'll be taking a taking one of those shits where it's like you gotta try real hard you know one of those you know one of those shits and then you look down in the toilet bowl and there just isn't that much there doesn't that suck sucks it's like all that effort i want to see a loaf of french bread staring back at me

on a couple of pennies into wishing well you know what i really hate is when i go to the use the bathroom at the gas station and they tell me that the gas station bathroom is out of order. Yeah, it really pisses me off. Because if I'm asking you to take a shit at your gas station, this is already an emergency. So why don't you just point me to wherever it is your shitting? Because we don't have a lot of time here. Okay? It's about to be clean up on aisle two. in this motherfucker. You started a day a clerk. Do you want to end it a janitor?

How would it make you feel to be demoted by someone like me? Have you ever been demoted by somebody wearing $30 worth of clothes, shoes included? I'm just grateful. This is what I do. I do stand-up. This is all I do for a living, and I'm grateful to have this as my job, because I know if I wasn't doing stand-up,

I'd probably be like, Like pimping a retarded girl in a camper out behind a smoke shop. Imagine it. Come in to get your vape and I'm just like it's 20 bucks to fuck the tard. Yeah, you can just pay me. She's my step sister. I'll make sure she gets her cut. Do that or selling pills.

I mean, uh, doing this. It's crazy. You can really tell. You know, this is my favorite thing. thing in the world to do and yeah so this is what I look like when I'm at my most happy you guys you guys heard I'm from Indiana where we I remember the opioid crisis back when it was called the opi-ut crisis and what I'm saying is most of the people where I'm from are dead and don't worry I don't miss them it's crazy

it's like every Saturday growing up I had to go to a different junkies funeral really put a damper on the weekend vibes. You know, you got to come up with ways to entertain yourself when you're always at some junkies funeral. I figured out this little game I would play where you could figure out how young they were when they started using pain dope by how young they are in the picture next to the urn.

I don't know if you guys know this, but junkies don't get caskets. You already parted. to mamma's wedding ring. We're not buying you a fancy box. It's nuts. You'd be at a funeral for a 34-year-old man and he'd be playing little league baseball in the picture next to the urn. You could tell he started using young, you know, because his family members would be like stretching for something nice to say in the eulogy. They'd be like, he was a good boy. He liked uh never inside the lines, but uh, uh,

Then he turned 12 and ripped our pipes out the walls for smack. Anyways, we're going to miss Dale. Hey, junkie so much, I think we should outlaw Narcan. What are you bringing them back for? Just one more chance to steal? Anyway, thank you. That's my time. Keith Ray, everybody.

Keith Ray. Wow. What to talk about. Quite a set. What a wonderful time to show up. Everybody who's shown up late is having the greatest time of their lives showing up in the middle of this show. I love how Keith just said he's going to, well, he's a pimping a retarded girl. Can you imagine it?

I can just feel the yes wash over the room. Oh, yeah. Good mental image. Capri had, I like the visceral reaction that you had to someone being from Indiana. That's good. You're from Indiana too? We're in Indiana. Oh, my God.

We got to give her some more points. She got out of fucking Indiana. Make some noise for getting out of Indiana. We got one more contestant left. This one's a, this one's a little common response. You guys don't know what to do. Our last contestant is So Florida. He's So Florida.

He was arrested for excessive speeding in a manatee zone. You guys didn't laugh, but that's true. That is part of his criminal record. Makes a noise for Andrew Collin, everybody. Andrew. Collin. What do you have against Florida, huh? You got fingered in Destin and he never called back.

I get it. I get it. I've been there. I've been there. I did get arrested for speeding on a jet skiing in a manatee zone. And, yeah, I'm pretty fucking badass. Anyone else been arrested in here? Who? No? There's 10. You got arrested? What did you get arrested for?

How old were you? He's like, I was on a roof time. I mean, what's the law breaking? trespassing yeah yeah it was summer yeah it was summer she was a freshman yeah yeah okay fuck um you know in college I got an AIDS test as a virgin that's pretty cool that is true it's pathetic I walked in doctors like how many sexual partners have you had I was like none he's like what are you doing here and I was like I fingered a girl and I bite my nails he looked at me he's like come back when you fuck someone like thanks for your

medical opinion I do family group chat sucks right it's like just a nephew on a swing and I was like oh my god I don't care I don't nothing fun happens in the family group chat but this happened is true my dad he sent a photo of my stepmom naked in a bubble bath. And we're all like, this guy would be a mistake. And then he just wrote Bubbolious. Gross. Fucking gross.

The best part is my dad had an affair with this woman and left our family. I know, that's hilarious. That was a snort? That was a snort? You're snorting, my family falling apart. You fucking piece of shit. No, it's all right.

We've been, yeah, I don't know. I don't know what my dad was thinking. He's thinking, oh, it's been 25 years. You know what the kids would love to see? A picture of a woman that put them in therapy, naked playing in bubbles. I can finally show why I cheated. Look how hot she is.

Look at those soapy tits. Tell me you want to leave mom for her. So if you're wondering, no one wrote back. It's been five years. We started a new group chat. We kicked my dad out. We kept my stepmom because she looked great. I made it my screensaver.

I did Photoshop my real mom's head on there, though. I sent it back to my dad. I was like, look, if you just bought mom fake tits, we could have still been a family. I think it's tough to have emotion when you're horny, right? It's tough to be, like, sad and caring when you're really, like, horning. You know, when you're really fucking horny. I was having sex with my wife, doggy, doggy style, so she couldn't look at my tits.

And her phone buzzed, and she checks her phone, because that's how good I am at sex, she needed a break. And she turns to me, and she goes, my grandma just died. Yeah, and I was, like, thinking it's weird in my erection, didn't. And I go to her, I go, what are we going to do about this? And she goes, well, I don't think it's right to keep going. And I was like, well, I think she'd want you to be happy. And then she goes, well, I think that's why we should stop. Then she goes, also, what if she's watching?

And I was like, no offense, but there's no way your grandma's ghost can travel over 2,000 miles before I come. So I finished myself off on her lower back because her grandma hated that tattoo. I said, here's a towel. I clean yourself up because I think she just got here. This is probably the darkest thing that happened to me. When I was a kid, I was in my parents' bathroom, and I found my dad's pocket pussy. Anyone else?

Probably got arrested. No? No, okay. All right. And I found this pocket pussy, and there was hair. all over it. Like it came with hair like a chiebette but for pussy hair kind of

you know and and it was wet it was so wet and I'm like oh this is the 70s I guess this is and I fucked it I did I fucked it well I didn't fuck it I didn't hit the walls because I was a baby boy but

you could just hear an echo of my cock in there there was just and I didn't tell anyone because it's not until tonight. No, and I didn't tell. You don't tell people this. You store that away, you know.

But I got drunk with my dad about a year ago, and I was like, you know what, I'm just going to fucking, I think this might be fun to bring up. And I was like, dad, when I was a kid, I found your pocket pussy. But I didn't tell him I fucked it. I didn't tell him. And he goes to me, he goes, Andrew, it's not what you think.

It was a mold of your own mother. At least you weren't cheating on mom with real or you're only cheating on mom with real pussy. All right, that's my line, that's my life. Thank you so much. Do I stay up here? All right, awesome. Andrew Collin, everybody. What a, wow.

I have to say about that. Andrew Collin, it makes noise for other contestants. Thank you. Come on down. Keith Ray, Angie Stroud, come on down. That's like an M. Night Shyamalan level twist. Yeah, yeah. But sadder and darker.

I love it. Yeah. I thought, I mean, I found my mom's vibrator, but I was a kid. But that's the, that's, that's a whole level. You do anything with it? No, I just stared at it and I was like. This guy's a real motherfucker over here. I found their, they had VHS porn too.

Oh, yeah. I know. It was not rewound. They'd been, they'd been through the ringer on that. They've been watching it. You guys ever find any family sex toys? My dad told me that porn is, uh, is disbursed. disgusting and it degrades women and that I'd be better off chasing pussy.

Good father figure. Yeah. And you went with porn instead, didn't you? You animal. Yeah, I guess. I mean, I like porn. He doesn't. I like watching people.

I thought that by a fucked up so you guys meant like saying the word come. We've gone deeper. We did go deeper. Andrew went the deepest out of everybody. Not that deep. All right. Hey now. Hey now.

Come on. Let's see exactly how fucked up everybody did. Tyler, how's everybody doing on the points after the first round? Wow, went around. What around? I don't want to retread what we've been going through this trauma. So I'm just going to say, Andrew, the most fucked up set. 600 points for him.

Nice. 500 points for everybody else. Let's move on. Jesus Christ. We got a couple games now. We got our whole panel here. We are excited to have you guys see what the next game is, because it is. The scariest one for these three.

This is a game called Entweetment, ladies and gentlemen. Nope, what? That's not it. Tyler. Oh, boy. What did you do? I didn't do anything. I'm on the right spot, Jay. How are you on the rights, but this is not right at all?

Yeah, well, we'll move on. There's something I can do right at the moment. Well, we'll figure it out. Go, hold on. Melanie's coming over to save. It makes noise for Melanie coming to save her. Nice. We're going to take, has anyone in the audience found their family members sex toys before?

Yes. You found your mom's nudes? Laurel's got some shit happening. The answer? You were eight years, you called the suicide hotline at eight years old? That's incredible. It's impressive, yeah. Yeah, Slay mom.

Were they particularly filthy nudes like Spread Eagle or? So more like Playboy than Hustler. Like we're not going full spread. Okay. Your mom got dick for New Year's, that's for sure. Hell yeah. Hey, I don't know how it works. Entweetment, everybody.

Yeah, all right. Yes, make some noise for entwement. We did it. We vamp and we got there. Oh, boy. Did you take those mushrooms? You're going to get there. I believe in you, lesbian.

All right, folks. It's true. We don't know our name. It's just lesbian. Very progressive show we have here. So, here's how this game works. We have gone through all of their old social media. We have found things.

that are questionable. We have found some tweets. We have deleted some words out of those tweets. We're going to make them guess what they said all those years ago. How are you all feeling about this? I know, Angie, you mentioned your Twitter. We only started pretty recently. He started in 2020 because my journalism professor said that we needed to have a Twitter to have a career,

and I'm pretty sure I've ended it, actually, with my tweets. It's good. Journalism is a dying art form anyway. Andrew, Keith, how are you two feeling? I'm nervous. After your set, this is what you're nervous about. I mean, I used to drink pretty heavy. Your Twitter handle did used to be salty gin.

We know about that. Yeah. Andrew, how are you feeling? Sounds gross, right? Not something you'd want to drink. To me, it sounded so delicious. I'm more worried it's just not going to be funny, you know? Like, I don't care.

You can't cancel me. I don't have a career. You know? That's so good. We're going to start up with one of mine. Just see how these all go. This is one, my producers, Melanie and Tyler and co. They never tell me what they find beforehand.

It's always new to me. This one is something I tweeted apparently in 2016, May 25th, 614 p.m. Stupefine. Blank stupefy that pussy. All right, that's one comment and four likes. Hell yeah. That's pretty good for me. That's honestly one of the better entwement that I think we've found.

How long is the buildup to this? It's pretty long. My guess is it... That's a big... You could put, like, a lot of words before that. Or it's the blank. He's from Indiana, folks. Give a break.

I got to remind him to chew his food sometimes. How long is the setup we're supposed to guess to this? I don't know. I mean, we'll see. We got a few options. But that's one word? No, no, no. I'm assuming it's a phrase, at least.

Maybe a couple phrases. It seems like a slogan for a product, like stupid pussy. Stupify that pussy. Yeah, it's like, you know, lube so good that it makes your pussy go stupid. Hell yeah. Yeah. Fellas, you're trying to make her go dummy different in bed? Yeah.

Try out the new Trojan cock ring and really stupefy that pussy. Okay. See? They're interested. We got them on the dole. I know Andrew's mom's going to be stupefied pussy. Gets a clip of this show. All right.

Everybody booed. Tyler real quick for continuing to bring up. Yeah, and her pussy's really smart. Yeah, smart pussy woman. Keep it up, I'll kill myself. Laurel knows the number, just in case. I think it's like she bought it for the dad and like, it's just like, I know you go on long road trips.

No, they got it molded at the dentist. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's find out... Hey! Let's find out what I said about stupefying a pussy. Silly. So, Jay, there's going to be... There's going to be three options here.

Two of them will be fake. One of them will be the real deal. Their job is to guess which one's the real one. Let's see what we got. Option one. Why have dictionary and thesaurus companies never made dating advice manuals? I'd 100% weed.

Funk and Wagnalls present Stupey that pussy. Jay's dying. That was just for me. Nobody here even knows what a dictionary is. Pump and Wagnol? Is that who's competing with Websters? Yeah. So,

it's Webster's and then fucking Waggnells. See what the deep cut dictionary brand? Theoretically. Man, I wonder who commented on that. I'll take a boo. Yeah, this aboo is appropriate. I feel like, Jay, you commented on your own fucking tweet on that. I'm trying to drive the engagement up.

Yeah, you're like, Wagnell's weird. Crazy. This guy's good. That's probably maybe. He is. They were underrated. I did, Rodgitz? Okay, anyway. You're going for smart.

I'm going for smart, but we'll see what I did. Option two. My ex didn't like dirty talk in bed, which is upsetting because now I'm using my best material on my parents' cat. Stupefy that pussy. That sounds right. Yeah. Yeah, cat pun.

You got cat pun vibes hard. You would tweet about a cat and refer to it as a pussy. Yeah. I don't know. I don't remember this, Laurel. We're going to find... The third one might be a Harry Potter one. One of these, he did right.

We know that for sure. Let's see option three, Tyler. Best sex tip. Insert yourself on top in missionary and then spin in a complete circle. I call it the grandfather cock and it's guaranteed to stupefy that pussy. Jay is not coming up with sex tips.

Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I stick to what works. and I do not deviate from the norm. You are not tweeting out. Let me freestyle on grandfather cocks for a second. This is how I'm fucking. Okay.

Which one do you guys think it is? I'm curious because I have an idea. I think it's too. I keep thinking about like what animal waggnels is like the genitals on, you know? Seems like a tiger. That's a veteran. It's a veterinary term for sure. Sure, yes. The lion's waggnels must be expressed every month.

I feel like it's the second one. Okay. I think you were trying... Andrew's saying the second one, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you got a little pun in you. Either way, these all deserve four legs. Honestly, I'll go so far as to say most of them deserve zero legs. Keith, which one do you think it is? Wagnalls?

Funk and Wagnalls, number one? The audience, I feel like, thinks it might be number two. You think it's one? I think it's strong. I'm going with her. Take a prize away from her. That's derogatory. We didn't even give her a prize.

Well, she owes you a prize. I'm going to send a Bitcoin scammer after you now. I think it might be number one. I feel like I was in some funk and waggnell shit. It was! I'm the only one who's excited about it. this. Jay's dying laughing and in a quiet room.

He can't even get through it. Fucking Wagnalls. Brilliant. And you thought he was a pun guy. He was way worse. Fuck you, fuck all you gay people. I invited you to the show. Mr. Wagnalls.

All right. Let's go ahead and move on to Andrew Colin. Andrew, come on over to the hot seat. Everybody makes a noise for Andrew. Thank you. Thank you. With you. So Andrew, this is a reply.

You're replying to somebody. Jeez, that's where you think you're like camouflage. That's where you just write it like, you're a bit. Okay, let's see what it is. It's from November 18th, 2020. It got zero comments, but it did get four likes, which is the same amount as my bullshit funk and waggles. Yeah, but a reply is, you know.

It's a curve. There's a curve. There's a curve. there's a fucking curtain i'll fucking beat your pun ass let's see what we got tyler okay so you're applying to this guy what was your very first thought when you learned that trump lost the election what was your favorite blank very first thought yeah you obviously this is yeah right after the election right after trump lost uh timely do you uh if you know what you think this one is when you see the options don't say it okay

Because Angie and Keith will get a chance to guess first. Option one. What was your very first thought when you learned that Trump lost the election? I hope Kamala gets dicked down good tonight. Very fair. And she should. Yeah, I'm a feminist. Option two.

What was your very first thought when you learned that Trump lost the election? I come in my pants. Thirst trapping. Oh, okay. Let the ladies know where the cum is. Or option three. What was your very first thought when you learned that Trump lost the election? D.C., prepare your hookers and crack.

Hunter's coming. That's the one. White guy with gray in his beard? That's the one. You look at the Hunter Biden laptop tape. That's aspirational. We can pull that up. I still got it.

Also four likes. Damn. Okay. No comment. Okay. I mean, I think that this tweet might have gotten more than four likes. So then that makes me think it might be one of the first two. Yeah, which one out of the first two do you think it is?

You know, I feel like coming your pants would get four likes, for sure. I like the powers of production. You don't think I'm smarter than that? You know, I'm reverse engineering in this game. I see The Matrix, okay? I'm looking for clues, no stone left unturned. Angie went to journalism school. She knows.

She can do some fucking deep dive investigative shit. Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, which one do you think of? It is. I know what you're... You remember this? Well, I just know my brain. Wait, have I locked my answer in yet?

Lock it. Oh. Oh, I'm going with the hunter joke all day. Hunter joke. Oh, no, you have it. Yeah, what are you locking it down? Wait, what was the first one again? The first one was the...

It's Kamala. Kamala getting dick down. It's tough to weigh. Kamala getting dick down. Come in the pants. Hunter's coming. Hunter's coming. Come.

Come. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come. Come, come, come, come, come, come. Option two. Okay, you want me to say? Say it. I feel like it is cum in my pants. He came in his pants.

Come, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. In fairness, that's all I wrote on Twitter for years. Is anyone out there? Does anyone want it to get out of the kid? bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The I jizz in my pants bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Those were good times. Good era. Everybody makes noise for Andrew Collin. Thank you. And we're going to switch up. Angie Stroud, you're going to get over there. Angie, we found a treat from college,

college Angie. A Twitter account that I did not even know you had. Not many do. 80 followers. Feel free to follow. I might tweet this year. At Angie Takes Miami. Yep. Never been, but I'm going to take it. You tweeted this.

I would just like to point out, you tweet this at 405 a.m. The pandemic was hard. This is a full, the pandemic is almost over by the time you tweet. It's 2021. There's a linger. And this got nine likes, which is the most out of anybody on the, the combined. All right. All right.

Everybody on the entire. You don't have to be a dick about it. For 80 followers, it's actually a pretty good ratio. I want you guys to know. Let's see what the tweet blanked out is. Tested positive for blank. Oh, yeah. You remember what this one is?

I think so. Is this a play on COVID? Is that what this was? Well, you know, it's always on our minds. It's still on our mind. Someone coughs next to you on a plane and you're sucked right back in time, you know? So

It's true Changed America Yeah, really did Yeah Now Angie We'll never be the same We'll never be the same We're playing game shows

We're out If you think you know The real one is Don't say it Because Andrew and Keith I got a chance to guess first Yeah Okay

Option one Tested positive for Beber fever Thermometer emoji Option two Tested positive For Being two

black to care about the friends reunion. Sunglass is emoji. Damn. I'm half black. Edgy. She is half black. Oh. Yeah.

Whoa, twists. Take that. Em night shamel on twists. I am the night. I am the night. And finally, tested positive for HIV. Huge enormous vagina.

Enormous with an eye. Is that right? Enormous. Yeah, she got her writing degree. She's not going to be redundant like that. I don't know. I don't think redundant is the right word. Redundant is definitely.

Let's keep just busting out the biggest word he knows. That's a $5 word right there. He's got it written on his hand for sure. All right, yeah. Andrew Keith, yeah, which one do you guys think of this is? I don't know. So is vagina? I wish we could see him again.

We got, yeah, Tyler, do you want to run them again? Tyler can run them again. Sorry. It's all good. Option one is, so we got test positive for beber fever. I don't think the emojis are. Is Bieber fever code for something? That means you sound like a narc.

You're like, hey, can I get some Bieber fellow kids? He has hurt. What do you guys call crank these days? I think he has to hurt, but besides that. Option two, you're right? Ready to see option two again? We got being too black to care about the friends reunion. Oh. Yeah?

Yeah. I'm feeling that. Okay. I like that. And then we got option three. Huge enormous pajamas. But I also feel that, too. But I feel like that would be something you would. Yeah. I think the AIDS joke is more their minds.

It really doesn't help that we've spent most of the time that I was on stage talking about how much I love to make puns about cats. and then also it wasn't a pun about cats that I made you're being redundant no but I am being redundant there is a cat emoji that's a callback in case you didn't know what they meant by vagina they put a cat emoji

all of them had an emoji that's the fucking weird part I'm not afraid of emojis I like expressing myself the cool sunglasses guy after the I'm too black for friends thing that is probably I'm thinking that that's probably probably it.

But also, you know, Justin Bieber is a voice of a generation, and he has touched the lives of many. Do you got any, we got any other folks with Bieber fever in the audience tonight? Lesbians love. The lesbian do love him.

They love a hairless boy. He's like the Bob Dylan of the 21st century, so. I'm going to tell him you said that. Yeah, which one do you? you guys think it is you guys want to lock it in I'm gonna lock it in with beaver fever beaver fever for Keith and I'm gonna lock in to the reunion two black for friends for Andrew likes the glasses Angie I know what the answer is what did they think what did they

actually yeah audience which one do you guys think it is we got a lot of two we got a couple beaver fever we got some two a lot of twos and ones it's a split Angie and I was like baby Come on. Baby. The voice of a generation. Angie Stroud, everybody. Makes noise for Angie Stroud.

That got nine likes. That's fucking crazy. Keith Ray, everybody. For journalism. We always find stuff. Even if you delete stuff, we have our ways. I mean, I don't have the app. Now, luckily for Keith, Keith is not, I don't think, deleted a single one of his tweets.

Which is always fun for us. I feel like he's got something in the chamber, boy. Oh, yeah. When I started my Twitter, I was a 21-year-old gin drinker. So if that tells you anything about... I will say the solid first year of Keith's tweeting is just about how much he likes to drink salty gin out of a bathtub. Just singing sea shanties to no one on the internet.

But this is one from June 12, 2016, It got zero engagement at all. No comments. No likes, no retweet. That sounds like my Twitter. Sounds like a gin man. You got this one. Let's show it up here on the screen, Tyler.

Blank. Fuck, I love being on the road. Damn, that's a new comic right now. Oh, no. Cree is good. Cwee fray. Yeah, I had changed, I recently, like, I thought, yeah, I changed my Twitter handle after a while. At Quee Free.

To Quee for it? Yeah, I mean, because I make that pussy fart. You know what I'm saying? Hell yeah. A big Ying-Yang Twins fan, what, you know? Hell yeah. Also, it's a good, I'm also a pun guy. I love this.

Is that a goal to get an air pocket and a vagina? That's what you're going for? How about I make them come? Oh, gross. We want to make the air bubble. Yeah. Keep. I'm assuming you were on the road at this time.

Do you happen to recall what state you were in? This is when I was on the road in, I think, Oklahoma or Missouri. Okay. So keep that in mind when we show you the disgusting garbage. Keith might have tweeted. I like the hashtag got it out there. The hashtag is really good. You know what I mean?

I used to be put my religious shit. No, in 2016, they used a fucking hashtag. This guy was ready. You probably had comedy cards ready to hand out. A hashtag and no engagement? What? Someone's not blessed. Option one.

I hate myself. Just beat off in a shell station restroom. I mean, if there's a face for that. That's all she wrote. I love being on the road. Whether that's what I tweeted or not, I did that for sure. Yeah, yeah. That's life on the road.

Option two. Hank Williams on the radio, lot lizard on my dick. Fuck, I love being on the road. What's a lot lizard? A lot lizard is a, is a prostitute that mostly works like truck stops. Oh.

So they hang out in the parking lot. Gotcha. And they have, uh, he knows a lot about that I think I'm figuring his out. Oh yeah. I'm, we're in Hollywood. I'm the only one that fucks whores. Okay. They built this.

You live such a colorful life. Option three. Option three. When it only costs $2 to put it in a girl's belly button, that's like ordering off the McValue menu. Fuck, I love being on the road. I'll say this, y'all figured out his voice, you know? Oh, yeah.

You guys could write for him, you know? That's why I think that one's not it, because I don't remember. Well, don't say, we gotta wait. I'm saying I'm not believing in this one. He's spoiling. Angie, Andrew, which one do you all think is the real tweet? That's tough.

Definitely between one and two, he's beat off in a shell station. We know this. We know this for a fact. Let's lay out the facts. He was able to define what a lot lizard is. Very quickly. Very quickly. Very, like he was had that ready to go.

And we got corroboration from the audience on that. You know what a lot, Lizard is. Yeah. Oh, all right. She used the drive truck. Keith does not hate to say it. Keith knows. And he also recognized beating off from the Shell Station.

So it's really weighing the options. You know, it's a coin toss. And I like McDonald's too. I mean, I'm not. I just figure. No. You? You?

Yeah. No. If that helps to muddy the waters a little bit, bad. No, you? No way, dude. Familiar with the McDonald's menu? No. Yeah, whatever happened to that, you know?

Now everything's more than a dollar. Damn shame. And if you want to spend a dollar at the McDonald's, if you want to come into a McDonald's trash, you've got to buy a whole drink. Everyone boo J now. Boo J. No, no.

Yeah, how's it? It's fine. If me and Keith are the only guys on the stage who've come into trash bags on the road, then that is what it is. You have not. You came at the library in the single-stall restroom. Quietly. Oh, yeah.

You're like, Boken waxen, as soon as it's finished. You're like, me and Keith are one in the same. You're more support to the Unabomber and you know it. So anyways, I'm going to go with B, option two. B, I'm going to lock that in. You guys should get buttons. I want a button.

but we'll put that in the button we get buttons for the budget do we have the budget for that we don't but hopefully we will Andrew I feel like you're God you do both

so well I feel like but I think if you you didn't have the money yet for a lot lizard being on the road I was in my early days of working the road I don't think you could afford a lot lizard one of the shows on this tour

paid half in Adderall yeah that'll make it beat off in a shell stage. Well, that'll get a lot lizard, though. That will get a lot of them. Oh, that could. The other half, man.

That's right. They will trade. They're versatile. Yeah. Barter. It's real medieval. I think you fucking just jerked off in a shell. I think it's simple.

You were just getting a tweet out there. Yeah. Let people know what I'm up to. You still had come on your fingers when you wrote it. Like a fucking monster. I love it. Tweeting with a cummy phone. Could you imagine jerking off and be like, I gotta let people know about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm writing blessed. I'm sorry I'm out here living my fucking dream. We're not judging you, dude. We're not judging you. I swear you God, we're not judging. I've done the same shit, dude. Fucking blessed, okay? Keith, which one is the real tweet?

Oh, it's definitely jerking off in the Shell Station. It's jerking off in a Shell Station. Keith Ray, everybody. Damn. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Beaver fever. Keith, you should sell cum rags on the road as merch.

Huge. Yeah. I used to win, you know the claw game full of pornoes and dildos and shit? I'm real good at the claw game. His grandfather invented that. So I would go to the bar in whatever town I was playing, and I would go win a bunch of shit out of the claw game. And then I just autograph the porn and dildos and stuff

and sell that as merch. We have concern from the lesbian on this one. Yeah, that was an interesting time. People just stopped being interested in comedy CDs, and I had to figure out some way to make extra money. Well, with that being said, let's go ahead and move on to our final game. Check out on the scores here, Jay. Oh, actually, yeah, let's talk about the scores.

That's right. All right. It's been a very close game. It's a tie for a second and third place a thousand points Andrew and Keith and first place 11 hundred points it's Angie what? What? We got one game it could all come down to this All women I don't think you're at an up right Son of a bitch don't question me no question I want to see it after his show

The prize is a million bucks right let's give some prizes to our front row here. They've been a lot of fun here Oh yeah Let's give some prizes. This girl that knows what lot lizards are. That's pretty cool. Yes. All right, so we have these cereal bars. Let's do that for you.

And for Capri, very special prize. It's a party hat with Luigi on it. It's Luigi for Maya Brothers. A Luigi party hat for Capri and our lot lizard friend. Make some noise for our audience prizes. All right, folks. It's time for our final game. This is a game where we're going to get some advice.

answered for you guys. Now here's the thing. There are two things you should never take advice from comedians and robots. We have combined this into a game called Fear Abbey. Yes, look at this. Clap for this horrifying monster. Yes, exactly. Hell yeah.

Thank you, Mia. So we're doing this in honor of New Year's. It's New Year's. I'm sure you guys have all stuck a lot of time thinking about your New Year's resolutions. We have an AI advice calmness, Fear Abby, who is trained to give you the worst

possible advice on how to achieve your new year's resolutions. Our contestants are going to try and give worse advice. They're going to try and beat the robot. Your job is to tell us whether or not they beat the bot. I think

do you guys have, does anybody have a New Year's resolution on deck ready to go? Anybody got Mia's got one already? I think If we got somebody ready to go, Tyler, I think we can just jump right in. Yeah, we want, yeah. Let's do it. Let's go ahead and start off. Which of these three do you want to give you some bad advice, Mia?

Okay. Let's get the thing so I can type it in. Of course. What is your New Year's resolution? Stop setting fires. That is... Hell yeah, dude. Are we talking literal or, like, in your life?

Okay. Oh, what bad. Fuck yet. So your job is to give Mia the worst possible advice on how to stop setting fires. You have 15 seconds on the clock. Make some noise for Angie Stroud, everybody. Angie Stroud. Possible advice to stop doing arson.

I guess would be to continue to do arson. It would be like, hey, did you actually know that 90% of arson is? are men. And I think that we need even the score. So many more men go to jail. So many more men commit violent crimes to where we walk down the street and they're not even scared of us ladies. Because they're never like, she's not going to set me on fire. And that's time, Angie. Angie Straub, ladies and gentlemen. Tyler, what does fear Abby say about how to stop setting fires. The bot says, start fires inside your house. That way, you'll learn the importance of fire safety firsthand.

And also, surround yourself a flammable material so the temptation to stop is always close by. All right, ladies and gentlemen, do we think Angie beat the bot? Hell yeah. Sounds like it. That's some points for Angie Stroud. Oh, wow, thank you. It was close. Hey, yo. No one saw that. My New Year's Resolution, fucking learn how to balance.

All right, who else is a News Resolution? Yes, you. What is your name? Abigail. Hi. Nice to meet you. We got two gentlemen here who are going to be giving you one of these advices. Do you want Andrew or Keith?

I'm going to go for Florida. Florida Man. All right. New Year's Resolution, she's from Florida. Oh. Oh. So you want bad advice on how it's. to look like you're from Florida.

Yeah. Okay. This is the weirdest version of this game we've ever played, but... Andrew, you have 15 seconds on the clock to give Abigail bad advice. I mean, I guess the best way is to take your shirt off, show your tits, and scream Pensacola. Or just have bangs like you do.

That's pretty Florida. No, those are pretty. I don't know what that is. That's more of a... Fuck. Fuck. Jerk off in a Shell station. And that's time.

Oh, fuck. Fear Abby's going to warm my head. I've fucked a hooker in Pensacola. You did. It doesn't count if it's every city in Florida. What? I do. I do just want...

I forgot to say this earlier, Andrew. And you just brought it back to my mind, Keith. Saying I fucked a hooker in Pensacola and also saying I got fingered and destit. Those both sound like really fucked up Jimmy Buffett songs, and I appreciate that. Tyler, what advice does Fear Abby have for Abigail? Surprisingly a lot, Jay. First off, drive a car with a bumper sticker saying, I'm from Florida, deal with it.

Why would suburbish the, you know, broadcast your state you're in? No, no, whatever. That wasn't funny the second part. Cover yourself in sunscreen, but never rub it in, leaving streaky white patches everywhere. Get a tattoo of Mickey Mouse riding a mask. It screams Florida local. Not bad in Abby. Keith actually has that tattoo on a slower back.

That makes sense. All right, ladies and gentlemen, do we think that Andrew Collin beat the bot? They definitely do not think that he beat the bot. Abigail got the advice from the bot. Makes noise for Fear Abby. That's what I thought we were going. You know what I mean? She was better.

But I was, I think... I'm just saying. He just wants to hear that he did a good job. No, you're right. He just wants to, you just want the simple sympathy points. So who's getting stuck with me? Yeah, who needs advice from Keith? Fuck.

Who's got a New Year's resolution? We got some folks. Oh, Brandon's got needs a New Year's resolution. All right. What's your news resolution, dude? I'm trying to get into law school. Keith is, you're going to give him bad advice on how to get into law school, try and beat the bot to get worse advice.

You have 15 seconds on the clock. Your time starts now. Well, Brandon. Let's go. Gonna try and get into law school, probably read. That's probably a big part of that is do some reading. After that, you're probably going to want to get some pencils. You're going to need number two is the popular...

That's a good one. And I hear they make pads of paper just for that. that they're called legal pads that's time that is time true scholar Tyler what does fear Abby say for Brandon about how to get into law school

yeah write your personal statement as a rap about how much you love courtroom dramas bribe the admissions office with a coupon for free coffee what that's kind of I don't know mention your application that you've never read a single law book,

but how hard can it beat? That's pretty good. I like that. You can't laugh at the robot. He's your competition. Yeah, Keith. Ladies and gentlemen, do we think that Keith beat the bot? I was way well.

He beat the bot. Nice work, Keith. Okay, folks. I think we should do, let's just give Andrew one more chance. Okay, yeah. Andrew. Well, because Laurel had her hand raised pretty hard.

Laurel has needed a lot of help during this entire show. We're going to give you one more chance. All right. Take your shirt. What do you need advice? What's your news resolution, Laurel? You ain't got to wait on that paperwork. That's not your advice time, Keith.

Oh, my God. I mean, do you have any advice for Laurel, Angie? Girl, you can have it all now. Keep them both. You got one for the house and one for a house. the club. Yeah, they all have different uses. All right, Andrew, now it's your chance.

Give Laurel some bad advice, please. Make some noise for Andrew Collin, everybody. Andrew Collin. Your time starts now. I think you stay with them. I think give them another chance. You know what? People make mistakes.

I'm sure you earned that great. Judging from this whole suicide story, you can't even handle your own mother's pussy. And take your shirt off. And that's time, ladies and gentlemen. That's good. That's pretty good, bad advice. Thank you.

Yeah, I got better. I didn't realize what the game was. Now you know what the game is. I thought I was just beep-b-b-b-ha. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tyler, what does Fear Abby say for Laurel? Yeah, bring your soon-to-be ex-husband on your first date. It'll be a great conversation starter.

Also, attend your divorce hearing wearing a wedding gown to manifest your next relationship. very unhinged that fucking chat GPT this is a problem do we all understand this is a problem that it's good like you laugh

now what do y'all do for a living you're done no I'm just saying you know you think he's going to law school that is a lawyer that's true that's a lawyer in there honestly I'm surprised they didn't say use me to get into law school ask him a law question

and then ask this thing the same question You're trying to flip the game before the phone. What is your opinion of murder, sir? Okay. Oh, you couldn't think of a... Andrew's just trying to stall the vote. No, no.

You think I'm filibuster? Ladies and gentlemen, do we think Andrew Collin beat the butt? Do you think Andrew beat the butt? I fucking beat that. Dude, this is a... Andrew beat the bot. Everybody's dealing with checks. Andrew beat the bot.

That's for your Abby, ladies and gentlemen. Nice work. Now, while Tyler tallies up the final scores, We have one final situation here. The pallet cleanser round. We want to make sure you get out of here on a nice note. So we're here to cleanse everybody's palettes. Tyler, play that music.

Play that funky music, white boy. Clap. Everybody. Clap at the same time as me. We do a slow clap. We've done a lot of weird shit tonight, all right? We talked about a lot more people's moms' pussies than I think we've ever done in the history of this show.

And I do think we need. we need a little breather on that. We all chanted come at one point. That was pretty good. That was pretty fun. We want to make sure you guys get out of here a nice note, especially so you come back. Come check us out because we are here the first Saturday every month here at the Comedy Store with new lineups every time, new games

every time, yes. Well, you guys said. So all our comics are going to tell us a clean, wholesome joke to get out of here and cleanse your palettes before we send them off with their prizes. We are going to start off with Angie Stroud. Makes noise for Angie. It's me from before.

Hello, I see I've won your hearts. How to dismount? I don't really like parties, but I always get excited before the next one. Parties are kind of a catfish that way. You know, because you see them in music videos or movies, and you're like, I've got to get back out there, you know. But then every time you go is exactly what it always was,

where you talk to the four people that you came with, and then you're like, okay, we've all spent $50 and been here for an hour. call it, you know. But I always get so excited every time. I realize that I kind of approach parties like a housefly approaches a house. I burst in the door. Make one loop around.

And then I'm like, get me the fuck out of here. I'm going to die here. So that is a joke that you write when you got flies in your house. Keep that energy going for your next comic. Keith Ray, everybody. Keith Ray.

A few months ago I was at the Weston Hotel in downtown Austin and I invented my own sexual position. I know when you came to the comedy show tonight you didn't expect to see an inventor. But I did. And before I tell you guys about the position I invented, can I just ask real quick, is there any doctors in the house? No? I'm always looking for someone to rob after the show. But if you were a doctor, you'd probably like the position I came up with. So anyways, you're getting your dick sucked from the back, right?

Yeah, from the back. Some of these white boys think I'm speaking Chinese up here. Yeah, from the back. You getting your dick suck from the back. And you grab her by both her ears, and you shove her face in your ass. Yeah, I call it the ear. nose and throat. A medical marvel.

And let's keep it going for your final comedian, a clean, wholesome joke from Andrew Colley! This sounds like a panday, and bamboo, just that, just gum and everything. He has to comment on all the food. He's like, turkey, huh? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?

Mashed potato. What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? I'm looking at my dad, like, I don't think I ever loved you. Then I made him to suck my ass all from the best. asshole from the bat.

What the fuck? Yeah, dude. What? I'm not clean for anybody. You think I'll fucking not risk it? Yeah, I'll do one more or something.

So I used to be, this is how long it's been since I've written a clean joke. So I used to be single. That sucked. Because when you go home, you never get a bed, you know?

Couples always get the beds. It's fucking bullshit. Couples always get the beds. And then my dad's like, Hey, Drew, you're single. You want to sleep in the panch? That's a fun. And he sucked my dick, dude.

All right. I gotta stop. In all fairness, that was the cleanest joke I have. I liked it. I love that. And I think it's time to give out some prizes. Tyler, hit that prize music. It's been a crazy show.

First prize, I want to give to Laurel. Laurel, you're going to have some mushrooms. You're also going to have 40 tokens from Buttonmash in Echo Park. I've had it for five years. That's $10 monetary real value. That's for you. Button mesh, by the way, closed about three months ago. Oh, well.

Throw them at Echo Park Lake then, or throw them at ducks. Have a good time. All right. Now to our comedians. In third place. It was a very close game with 12-hour points. It's Andrew, Andrew Collin, third place. You get this mint condition, Power Ranger Calm device from McDonald's.

Pretty good. I always like it when they say, wow, I actually would use this. This is great. In second place, again, very close. It's Keith Ray, Keith Ray, with 13,000 points. You got this mint condition, Dale Earnhardt race car. I'm pretty sure that's the goal. car he was driving that he died in.

I know you love it. And first place of vintage 1987 Playboy magazine with Jessica Hahn. Fun fact. Former girlfriend of Sam Kinnison and the Star of the Wild

thing music video with Sam Kinnison. Pretty cool. There's Kits in there. She might have fucked here in this building. She might have fucked here. That looks like Laurel's mom. Oh, hell yeah. Roll circle.

Oh, fuck, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, also for the competing, thank you so much. You guys also get in these get out of cancellation free cards. Next time you're in Hollywood, some shit goes awry. Turn that card in. This show never happened. Don't you worry about it. Makes noise for all our contestants tonight.

That's Andrew Collin. That's Angie Stroud. And that's Keith Ray. We are here the first Saturday of every month here at the Comedy Store. By the way, one more time for all the Comedy Store staff. We got Steve. We got Ben. You guys.

get home safe happy new year and we will see you next time right here at wrong and happy birthday Melanie oh my god run the fucks Melanie happy birthday Melanie thank you for everything and follow Maxwell Farms on Instagram everybody Maxwell Farms say we love these guys take care keep wrong and carry on