WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 1093 - Ben Bailey

Episode Date: January 30, 2020

Ben Bailey and Marc share a particular gripe as comics. Both of them became widely known for beloved projects they started doing on a whim. For Ben it was Cash Cab, for Marc it was this podcast. And as much as they love those projects, they really just wanted to be known as stand-ups. Ben tells Marc how he got his start answering phones at The Comedy Store and how he really wanted to be a marine biologist before he got into comedy. He also describes his lifelong fascination with fish tanks and other tank-based aquatic environments. This episode is sponsored by the Unspooled podcast. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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per month. Visit Zensurance today to get a free quote. Zensurance, mind your business. All right, let's do this. How are you? What the fuckers? What the fuck buddies? What the fucksters? What's happening? I'm Mark Maron. This is my podcast, WTF. I'm not home. I got to be honest with you. As maybe you can tell from the last episode of my show, if you listen, I've been a little cranky, a little out of sorts, a little on edge. And I am still that. But I'm going to try to track it. I'm going to try to be happy for all of us.

That's what I'm going to try to do. I'm going to try to track it. I'm going to try to be happy for all of us. That's what I'm going to try to do. I'm going to try to be chipper for everyone. I'm in Atlanta. I just got here. I'm here for one more day of shooting of the film Respect. And it's a church scene. It's going to take place. it's going to take place what it's what it's representing what we are filming is Aretha's recording uh of her Amazing Grace concert which oddly I just watched on the airplane flying out

here it's kind of profound in a way and I tried to find Jerry Wexler among the people in the film Sidney Pollack shot the film I guess Spike Lee had something to do with sort of resurrecting the pieces of the film. Something went wrong with it. I don't know the exact story. The record is great. That's been reissued and is the biggest selling gospel album of all time to this day. But the film was somehow incomplete and've put something together. But it's interesting to see Aretha doing that concert or that. It's really a church service, knowing where she was at in her life and what she was going through and how much she needed to connect to her spirituality and just seeing her digging within herself to find those songs, to connect with those gospel songs that she'd known since she was a kid. It was kind of wild to watch that with new eyes after having done this movie for a while and

know the story a bit more about where she was at and what was going on. And Jerry Wexler is in the documentary very little. I was hoping to glean a bit of information in terms of what I might be wearing or how my facial hair looked, but I think we're just going to keep it steady and I'll be wearing something 70s-ish. Probably not-ish, probably exactly from the 70s. I'll be wearing something from the 70s, no doubt. So I'm here in Atlanta and I'm a little unhinged. I've completely slipped off of my righteous eating behavior. I think something to do with my back being fucked up and not being able to exercise. And, you know, having gone through the holidays and not quite wrangled it back in. I am strung out.

I'm fucking sugar and meat and garbage. And I can feel the pounds coming back. And for those of you who know me, not a great place to be. Not a great place for any of us to be where you just feel it happening. You can't stop it from happening. And all I'm thinking about

is fucking ripping into those Kit Kat bars in the whatever you call it. Yeah, they got some shit in the room. I already went through the cashews. They gave me some trail mix as a welcoming thing. There's mini Twix. There's Kit Kats over there. Pringles, I don't give a shit about Pringles.

I don't care about chocolate chip cookies. Fuck it, man. Now, everything's looking pretty good. That's not true. It's not. There's a lot of things that aren't looking good, but let's go over these dates, okay? Like tonight, I'm in Cleveland, Ohio at the Agora Theater. There might be a few tickets left. I don't know. Tomorrow, I'm in Grand Rapids, Michigan at the Fountain Street Church. That's Friday night, and there's definitely tickets left for this. I don't know what Grand Rapids is all

about. I've done the festival there. I can't remember. It was okay. It seems I remember it being a clean city, but I don't know what, how they feel about Mark Marin. I've sold about 600, 700 tickets in a place that seats like 1800. I could use some more people there, but not if they're going to be shitty people. I'm glad you're coming, but you know, I don't need it. I don't need the half house because i could have played a smaller place if there was one maybe there wasn't one but that that's the situation and i'm just

letting you know where i'm at now not all comics will let you know look i there are some cities i can sell a few thousand tickets there are some cities i can sell 800 what are you gonna do i'm fine with it and i hear that they also have AA meetings at that church. So I might double up. Going to do a show and get fucking straight with the sobriety thing. Maybe unload some of this bile. Maybe get myself out of this dry zone. This brittle, resenting, self-loathing zone into something more self-loving and open and ready to share zone

yeah maybe i quit shoving shit in my mouth for five minutes that would happen easier milwaukee wisconsin that show's tight that's a i'm almost sold out over there turner hall ballroom saturday night february 1st then i'm in orlando florida come down it'd be nice to have you february 14th valentine's day show promise by then i'll feel really full of love that i will share with you all uh then i'm in uh tampa florida at the strass that's looking good a lot of tickets sold there february 15th portland maine state theater february 20th providence rhode island that's looking good. Columbus Theater, February 21st.

New Haven, Connecticut at College Street Music Hall, February 22nd. I went to Huntington in New York, the Paramount, February 23rd. You can go to WTFpod.com slash tour for links to all the venues. And I can't promote it any more than I have. I mean, if you don't know I'm coming, I did everything I could. Did I mention my guest today is Ben Bailey? I have always liked Ben Bailey.

He's the host of Cash Cab. Many people love that show. It's back and it's on Bravo right now. He's also on tour across the country. You can go to therealbenbailey.com for venues and tour dates. But I've always thought he was an interesting guy, funny guy, tall guy, but something dark and brooding inside of him. I didn't know what it was, but we talked many years ago

and more vulnerable points in both of our lives that he doesn't seem to remember, but I remember. I don't remember when or where it happened, but we got caught up, and it got pretty interesting. There was fish involved, coral. There was coral involved in a fairly profound way, I think, but that's coming your way. It's about to happen. Enjoy that. I'm in this fancy room. I've been staying at this hotel on and off for months now, and they put me on the top floor, and directly across from me is an apartment building with a wall of windows into apartments. So I just see hundreds of little boxes of different lives,

and some of the lights are on, some TVs are on. Kind of looking for people walking around. But I'm not being weird. I don't have binoculars. I'm not sitting here with the lights out and my windows open looking for something to happen. I would be nice to just look across and maybe see someone sitting at their desk compulsively eating shit that's not great for them. Maybe also doing a podcast. What are the odds of that sadly very high there's got to be someone in that building across the way that's doing a podcast maybe not right now maybe not tonight but tomorrow or the next day that's where we're at as a culture i'm pretty sure that in that building that looks like it has probably about 40 floors and maybe five, six hundred units.

There's got to be someone who calls himself a stand up comic and maybe two people doing podcasts. That's what I say. But I don't see anybody just sitting there eating sadly because I would wave to him. But that would be weird, right? If I just sat here and I locked into somebody over there, just sitting there eating ice cream at a kitchen counter. And I just stood up and I started waving my arms frantically just to connect with them. But it sort of looked like, save me, save me. Can you help me please? And they would call the police and and say there's someone in trouble on the 26th floor of the Lowe's hotel maybe you should send somebody over but really the cry for help was was from myself and that's what I would tell the cops are you okay sir yeah I was just I was in trouble and I was kind of drowning and in my own sort of self-flagellation and self-pity and

darkness and self-loathing so I was I was actually just waving I was trying to connect with somebody I felt felt the same way across the way but they obviously misinterpreted it and they ratted me out they knew what was going on because they're in the same place. And they thought, look at that sad fuck drowning in himself. I'm going to call the cops, make life difficult for them. No, that's not it. They were probably actually concerned. None of this happened.

I'm making it up. So I'm looking forward to going to Cleveland. I think I'm toying with killing myself with food. It's where you get to, I'm at a certain age here. I'm right on the line, man. I am 56 years old. I can see it starting to happen in my face, in my head. I can feel like there's a transition you make.

I was middle-aged, and then you just sort of become old. But still, I'm holding up. head my you know i can feel like there's a transition you make or i was you know middle age and then you just sort of become old but still i'm holding up but there's part of me like given the fact that like you know i got no kids i got no wife got no debt my cats are diminishing slowly and the world is uh difficult so why not eat what I want to the point where I just clog my heart up and it seizes? Why not enjoy? But then, you know, the other part of me is like, dude, doesn't it feel good to be healthy? Doesn't it feel good to be in shape? Doesn't it feel good to be skinny? But yeah, but if I'm too skinny, I look really old. I was looking at pictures of myself. I at myself on tv like last year glow that season

of glow i looked emaciated and weird and my fingers were skinny and it was odd but i felt great i was looking at myself in the mirror thinking this is fucking perfect and i look 75 years old so maybe if i can just accept the fact i'm going to put on like 10 20 pounds my face will get fat my pants will get tight my face will get fat. My pants will get tight. My shirts will get fat and tight and I'll be all fucking kind of like, you know, like breathing badly and sweaty. Just,

you know, getting up to go to the bathroom, but I will, I'll look my, I won't look old. I'll be filled up with fat and pork and butter. Just puffy from butter. That's what I'm going to be. pork and butter just puffy from butter that's what I'm going to be I want to be puffy from butter

and a little out of shape so I have a sort of shine to me maybe I should just put butter on my face anyway enjoy that fucking ice cream over there in that apartment building look at me waving at you

look at me waving at you help help me help me my back feels a little better thanks for asking so ben bailey um this is this is a good conversation they've been they've been good lately. This is the one thing maybe when I get to the zone, my need for connection is just like the old days, the old WTFs. Really got to get in there. Really got to connect. Really got to feel the humanity of the people that I talk to. So as I said before, Ben is on Cash Cab. It's on Bravo and he's on tour now and he's

going to be for a while. You can go to therealbenbailey.com for venues and tour dates. And this is me back in the house talking to Ben Bailey. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats, get almost, almost anything. Order now.

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in Rock City at torontorock.com. Where are you living now? I live in Jersey. Oh, you do? Okay, you're still back there. Yeah. Now, like, from my recollection, you did cash cab for a while, and then you were out.

There was no cash cab. Yeah, for... For, like, a long long time for almost four years and then uh was that the dark period it was a little dark it was a little bit of a relief though honestly because you know we had made a lot of episodes i had spent a lot of time driving that thing in new york city traffic they do they do yeah they love it and i do too but you know you could burn out on something, especially something that says involved. Believe me, I've been doing this podcast 10 years

and I'm barely listening to you right now. So you understand then. Sometimes people get out of the cab and the crew will be talking about the people that were just in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I don't know who you're talking about. Who?

What? What did they look like? What did they say? How did I miss that? Yeah, you're just on autopilot. I get it. No, I'm not. I'm definitely not. I'm like, I don't know who you're talking about. Who? What? What did they look like? What did they say? How did I miss that? Yeah, you're just on autopilot. I get it. No, I'm not.

I'm definitely not. I'm still engaged. You're still engaged. Yes. Okay, good. Congratulations. But I'm trying to remember, I can't remember when we first met, because you're not of my generation. You're like the next one after me.

Yeah, I feel like I'm behind at least half a generation of comedians behind you. Yeah, I remember when you were a younger man and you wore a hat often, I believe. I did. Oh, my God. I forgot. I forgot the backward hat. My grandfather gave me that hat. It was like a cap.

Yeah, it was like- It wasn't a baseball cap. It was like an Irish cap cap, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Yes. Yeah, I still have it. You do? Yeah. But you hung it up. Yeah, it was like- It wasn't a baseball cap. It was like an Irish cap cap, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Yes. Yep, I still have it. You do?

Yeah. But you hung it up. I hung it up, yeah. But where did you come from originally? Well, I've kind of all over the place. Were you an East Coast guy? Yeah, but I was born in Kentucky, of all places. I lived in Michigan outside of Detroit for a while. Was your family in Kentucky?

My family was mostly in Michigan. Michigan people? Yeah. Michigan Irish? Kind of. My Bailey is more English than Irish, but it's probably- Aren't there Irish Baileys? There are, yeah. Yeah. But not yours? No, mine are... We look down on the Irish boys. They're crazy. Out of control, the Irish Baileys. But yeah, so mostly michigan but then ended up living in kentucky my dad got a job working for general electric switch from general motors to general electric so he was uh like a corporate guy he was a computer guy oh really when computers

when that cards yes yeah one of the actually it's an interesting story about my dad uh they went they my parents both went to oakland in michigan oakland uh university yeah and he stayed for the summer and they got some on some program they got one of the first one of the two first computers in the country like the ibm kind the giant like the universe like it's a whole room you know yeah Yeah, but it wasn't like with stacks of cards? It was. They communicated with it. He and this other guy spent the summer learning how to communicate with the thing. And they actually got it to do some pretty amazing stuff.

Yeah. Some pretty cool mathematical stuff that they were noted for. But they had to make cards. They had to punch holes, patterns of holes in cards and feed them in. Yeah. And like, so that's where he started that's where his love of computers started so he's still in it now so you know it was like ground zero for computers yeah that was like now he looks at our you know everybody's got a

supercomputer in their pocket or two but does he has he kept up does he understand the evolution of it he does yeah i would think so yeah like Yeah. Like when they got rid of the cards and they went to disks or floppies or then the language, what was it? Basic Pascal or what? Cobalt. Cobalt. Yeah. So he was up to speed with all that shit?

He was, yeah. I mean, my basement, no one had a computer. Before we had computers in the schools, our basement was filled with computers. Like really? Yeah, TRS-80s from Radio Sh oh is what he was using because he was you know that was whatever work he was doing those were the ones he could get access to and use so he was in an early adapter yeah of the computer dude he might honestly my dad is like a computer genius like yeah he just knows them so well yeah from that starting point that he just like if you if

you're one of the first people to learn how to communicate. Yeah, totally. If we have to learn how to talk to this machine. Like we were giving him a hard time. The kids, like there's no games. It's pretty cool, but there's no games. So he like wrote a program and made centipede on the computer.

Yeah. Out of brackets. The centipede was brackets. Yeah. O's were in place of the mushrooms. And then you had a little bracket somehow turned up that you fired from. Yeah. It was amazing. We were the mushrooms and then you had a little bracket somehow turned up that you fired from.

Yeah. It was amazing. We were just like, how? He made it? He made it. Before the actual game existed? No, no.

Centipede already existed, the real one. I think he missed Yeah, there's a big lawsuit. So that was impressive? Yes. We were like, oh my God,

he really is good at this. Just two, my sister and I. What does she do? She actually does kind of public speaking as well. She trains people to use different types of software and stuff. She's a computer person? Yep.

She travels around, does freelance, teaches people. Is your mom a computer person? No. No. She's a creative type writer. Oh, yeah? Yeah. She was always a writer.

Are they still married? Yes, they are. Isn't that amazing? It is Oh, yeah? Yeah, she was always a writer. Are they still married? Yes, they are. Isn't that amazing? It is amazing, yeah. My marriage is over. Theirs is still going. I feel like you and I had a conversation during that period of time. When I was getting divorced?

I think we did. Yeah, maybe a random at the store. Is that what it was? A chat, maybe. I feel like it was more in depth in that. I don't know where it would have been. I don't know if it was here. Do you think it was here? No, no. It was at a in depth than that. I don't know where it would have been. I don't know if it was here. You think it was here?

No, no. It was at a party maybe? Maybe we went to Cantor's. Oh, was it? I think we went to Cantor's one night. With who? Me, you, and- I always feel like there's a third.

Nate. Oh, Bargetti. Nate Brigate, as I call him. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. I think we had a- That was right around the time that I was, well, I had been through it, but it was still lingering.

Well, I just remember there was a time where it was like you were playing guitar and you had a band and a studio at your house. Yeah, that's true. And I still, all those things are still true. The woman was, it was just, there was problems. Yes, there were problems. But you're leaning into the guitar a little more. I was.

I really was. Yeah, we, wow. Maybe that's a conversation that I don't remember. We really must have gotten into it. Was I maybe a little bit drunk when we had that? Because I really was. I went to a very dark place through my divorce, and I wrote some dark music. Oh, well, we've got to get, let's work up to that.

Okay, okay, yeah, sorry. That's third action. Okay, okay. dark music oh well we've got to get let's work up to that okay okay yeah sorry that's third action okay okay so okay so you're growing up in michigan your dad's a ge and michigan he was at general motors back then in michigan and finishing school and stuff oh but when he so he had you when he was pretty young yeah they were pretty young yeah so that's why they're like they're what are they in their 70s yep 75 a little younger than my folks. All right, so when do you move, like when does he go to General Electric? Like when did you move?

78. And you moved to where? To Louisville, Kentucky. So you did high school in Louisville? No, then we moved to Michigan, back to Louisville, and then to Jersey. Which is basically, that's pretty much where I grew up. So Jersey. I was nine, I think.

So Jersey's the bulk of it. Yeah, I guess I'm a Jersey boy. You are, right? Me too. I had a little time in Michigan and Kentucky and- Earlier. I didn't really pick up, I don't have like a thick Jersey accent. Is there a thick Jersey accent?

There is, yeah. You think? I think plenty of people have it, yeah. I don't know. My parents are both from Jersey. I don of people have it, yeah. I don't know. My parents are both from Jersey. I don't know if I have it. I don't know what it sounds like. Is it close to New York?

I don't think you have it. No. It's close to New York. It would probably come out if I... You mean it's sort of like Philly-ish? It's kind of like between... Philly and New York? Just like the geography.

It's between Philly and New York. Not quite as awful as Philly. Slightly worse than New York. So what did you do? You went to high school? Were you in trouble? Yes. Yeah, I was in trouble in school all the way through pretty much. Once middle school hit, once I made other kids laugh. You're a large guy. Were you a fighting guy? Not in high school. Oh, good. Not in high school. What do you mean? Later? In college. Oh, really? Yeah. You put it off that long? Yeah, well, I just got in with these dudes in college, and that's what we did.

We drank and fought. People? Yep. Like, unprovoked? Well, everyone was kind of looking for it in that situation, you know? A bunch of young men. Looking for trouble? Looking for trouble.

Yeah. Something to prove. Yeah. I was never in high school. I never really got in fights. Like trouble. Looking for trouble. Yeah. Something to prove. Yeah. I'm never in high school. I never really got in fights. Like, I was the opposite. Yeah. Kids would try to bully me because I didn't want to fight.

And you're huge. But I wasn't this big then. When did that happen? I grew late. A couple years ago? I mean, I was tall. I was tall. When I graduated high school, I was like just about six foot, and I weighed about 150 pounds.

And then I grew. So I was one of the taller kids at six foot. But now I'm like 6'6", 220. I didn't have any of this when I was in high school. What were you doing in high school? Drugs? No. No, not at all.

Booze? No drugs at all. My friends and I, we drank beers. Sure, man. We drank beers. Get people to buy a six pack outside the liquor store? Yeah, sometimes. Or we'd go into the city.

We'd take the train into the city. Oh, yeah. Or six pack outside the liquor store. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes. Yeah. Or we'd go into the city. We'd take the train into the city. Oh yeah. Or you could drink 18 then maybe. Yeah. Or we could go to like a deli and buy, you know, a case of beer for 50 bucks or something. Isn't it funny you would do like,

you know, like you from Jersey, it's like you'll drive an hour and 10 minutes. Yeah. Just to get the fucking beer. Yep. And come back and then you're a hero. Yeah.

My friend and I, we went into the city. 1130 at night. Yeah. We friend and I, we went into the city. We get back at 11.30 at night. We did it. I got a 12-pack. My friend and I took the train in, and we brought a hockey bag, and we loaded it. We didn't think about it. We loaded it, got as much in there as we could.

Beers? Beers, wine coolers, whatever we could get. We didn't have a party. But you bought them. It wasn't like you were stealing them. No, no, we didn't steal them. We bought them for like five times

what they should have cost. At a bodega or something? Yeah, like a little, I think it was a Chinese couple owned the place. And we knew they would serve us, but we couldn't carry the bag. We put so much into it.

It was too heavy. We had to carry it like 30 feet at a time. Two guys on the subway? Or on the path train? On the path train, yeah. Like it was a body? Yeah, totally.

Except you knew what it was because every time we set it down, it was like clang, bang, bang. We didn't get busted. Somehow we made it. All the way across our little hometown and everything. They're not looking for a couple of teams. Maybe they are. Yeah, I don't know. So no interest in comedy in high school.

I was interested in being funny. I knew that I liked to be funny. When I made the other kids laugh at school, that's when I kind of felt the best and I knew that about it. You could disrupt a class with some confidence. I could, yeah. And I could, once in a while I make the teachers laugh. Yeah, that's always good.

A little bit reluctantly. Because they're pissed off that you're disrupting, but then you laugh. It doesn't end well like that, though. It's not like they're going to be like, all right, I'll let you get squeaked by. No, no, I got kicked out of class a lot. You did? Yes. I would still do okay because it wouldn't affect my grade.

Right. But they'd be like, you're ruining. You're killing. You need to get out of here. You're killing. Get out. Yes. But as far

as like stand-up i didn't see that much i mean i saw like some whatever i could get away with seeing on late night you know like carlin and sure and richard but it wasn't it wasn't necessarily it wasn't like my i loved stand-up and i've always been very self-centered sure like it was always about me i was right what can i do what do i want to do right but in in terms of just life yeah so like stand-up but that that seems exactly what you need for stand-up yeah yeah i think so i mean i really stumbled into it i what my i always loved movies yeah what was what do so you just went to college with no goal or drive or anything i went to college to be a marine biologist, believe it or not. And how long did that dream last?

The first year. And then I got an idea of what it was going to be, and I was like... How much you had to study? The science? No, I didn't mind that. I liked that part. But I didn't want to be broke on a boat by myself, just compiling data. I'm like, that's not the dream that's out of the

water yeah totally counting algae species and you know no yeah well what made what do you think made you want to do that to begin with i always loved jaws like you like marine life oh i have reef tanks to this day i still i'm still into it what's a reef tank it's like a uh fish tank except it's more about the corals than it is about the fish. Wait, you keep living corals? I do, yeah. So it's saltwater tank. Yep.

And you manage those. I do. Who's taking care of them right now? I kind of have created this little system so that there's not, the maintenance is not as much. But like when I go home, I'll be home in a few days.

Yeah. And I'll, you know. You'll get involved. I'll do some maintenance work on it, which I like. It's like working in a garden. It's like a peace of mind kind of thing. Yeah. So you have living coral?

Yeah. They're amazing. They're like the coolest thing on earth to me. Yeah? They're like somewhere between a plant and an animal. Yeah. It's like a plant that moves around by itself. Is that what they move?

They do, yeah. Coral moves? Yep. They'll move around. They attack each other. They fight over territory. You're talking about the rocks in the ocean? Not the rocks.

The rocks are, there is such a thing as live rock, but it's not actually that the rock is live. It just has like a whole ecosystem within it. But isn't that coral, isn't coral around a rock or coral is its own thing? That live rock is kind of where, what coral ends up as. But no, the corals are the bright colored. Some of them are soft.

Some of them are hard. Some of them are... Oh, yeah? And they're very much alive. The hard ones don't move, but the soft ones do. So you have a bunch of soft coral. I do. I have both.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Are there fish involved in this thing? There's only a few in there. Really? Yeah, because it's not really about the fish. So people come over and you got to explain to them what they're looking at? Yeah, but they're interested. Sure. They're not like, where are the fucking fish? Really? Yeah, because it's not really about the fish. So people come over and you got to explain to them what they're looking at? Yeah, but they're interested.

They're not like, where are the fucking fish? Really? They're like, wow, these corals are amazing. What are these? Oh, really? Because there's a lot. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

It's a huge tank. Cash cab money. 150 gallons. 150 gallons? Yeah. Which isn't huge. By today's fish tank standards, it's not that huge. Who's judging whose standards are those?

150 gallons seems very big to me. It's pretty big. It's like a bathtub. How many tanks? I have two. Two tanks. 250 gallon tanks. Do you have a functioning aquarium at your house?

Kind of, yeah. You could have kids over and educate. I could a little bit. I have. Come on in, kids. We're going to talk about corals for a minute. I can tell you everything you need to know about coral. You have relatives, nephews, nieces?

Yep. And they come over and enjoy the coral? No one says, where's the fish? No, everyone says, where have the fish been? I'm like, it's not about the fish. It's about the corals. And they're like, really? Well, there's a few fish in there, but they don't.

The clownfish that dance in the anemones? Do you have anemones? I do. I have red bubble tip anemones, which for a year, I had one of them. And it didn't, they split is how they get more of them. That's how they reproduce? They split off, yeah. And that one didn't?

It didn't split off for more than a year, maybe a year and a half. Maybe it wasn't comfortable. Yeah, I guess it, but it got comfortable and it like, boom, like the whole thing is just, it's all over the whole tank, yeah. Ah. It's pretty cool. Is that invasive or is it just pretty? It's a little bit of both.

They're all a little bit invasive. They all want to expand and like claim more territory. What other things do you have in the tank? Tell me the names because I like the, what was it? The red tip. The red bubble tip anemone. Red bubble tip anemone. Got plenty of those.

That's where clownfish host. Hang out. They host in it. So you have clownfish? I do. They're the only fish I have left are a couple of clowns. What happened to the other ones? They died.

And here's the problem. Yeah. I don't have a good quarantine tank, which you need to introduce new fish. Oh. So I'm just kind of stuck. What do you mean you don't have a good one? You have a- I have a quarantine tank, but it doesn't get as much attention as the other tanks, and

it's- Often the water is not hospitable for fish, so I can't just buy a new fish and put them in there. Why can't you just keep an eye on that tank? I mean, is it- Because I'm- Isn't it up to you? Doing cash cab and traveling, flying around, doing a tour.

I don't have as much time for it as I would like. For the quarantine tank. But the other stuff is sort of self-sufficient. It's more self-sufficient because I made it that way. I have a system to mix the water. You have to make water. You have to purify the water and then add the salt. Holy shit.

So I've kind of created a system to make that quicker and easier. You are a marine biologist. I guess I am on a very small level. In my own little world, I'm a marine biologist. That's fucking awesome. I can't believe that you saw that in one second. You did it. And I haven't noticed it.

You did it. You're living your dreams and you can have it both ways. I think you're right. You don't have to spend your life on a boat. You have enough money. You got an aquarium at home. Yep. Coral that you keep up with and observe.

What are the other corals you have? Oh, there's some frog spawn. Oh, nice. Which it's interesting. There's freshwater equivalents of a lot of these things. So there's like freshwater frog spawn. But you don't deal with freshwater. It's not the same stuff.

It's different. It's not as pretty or? It's not as pretty, no. That's the great thing about the saltwater. Yeah. Those like brilliant colors that come out. Frog spawn. Frog spawn.

Red bubble tip. Red bubble tip. Anemones. Anemones. And actually I have a whole bunch of new ones that I don't even know what they're called. Because I found a place I could order them and they just send you what they call frags.

Yeah. Little fragments of different ones. And then you try to keep them alive and so that's that's the the sort of like that's the nerd word that people who are into carl will understand like frags yeah yeah i got how many frags have you got what kind of frag what kind of frags oh you can't even answer that you don't know you know i don't know what they are you're kind of slacking on your marine biologist duties you You're like, nah, just throw it in the tank, see what happens. But see, that's kind of how I am. It's a hobby that I put a lot into and everything, but I'm not crazy over the top into it.

It doesn't dominate me. I don't feel the need to know the exact name of everything. If I can sit and look at it and enjoy it, then it's serving its purpose. Right. Well, I mean, have you met people in the coral community? Reef geeks, yes. Reef geeks? Yes.

It's a real thing. It's a term, yeah. And I have. And they would know, they would be so ashamed of me. Yeah. They would be not ashamed, they'd be perplexed by me because they'd be like, how are you so into this? And you don't know the names of the fucking corals.

What's the matter with you? It's simple, Ben. Yeah, totally. We're doing one thing. It's a very specific thing. Not for me, no. I know as much as I need to. Reef geeks.

But they would know. I could probably post a picture of my tank and people would be like, oh, well, that's. And they would go through and label them all. Why don't you do that? Okay. I have to do it now. No, I can send it to you. No, I'm not.

I just want you to keep up. Okay. So before you got involved with the tanks, I like this is your version. This is luxury for you. This is, you know, you made a little money, you know, and you're like, I'm going to get the tanks. Yeah, well, it's interesting you say that

because the tanks originated when I was like in fourth grade. Oh. What do you mean? When I was in high school, I had fish tanks surrounding my bed. Really? Yeah. Like I would go in and lay down and I would be literally surrounded by fish. And your parents were just sort of like, it's good.

He likes fish. I think by then they were like, well, that's what he's into right now. I always like dove hard into stuff. But that one stuck around. Fish. Yeah, and then I didn't have tanks for years and years. But these were not saltwater tanks. No, those were freshwater back then, which is good.

I wasn't responsible enough to manage them as a kid. No, of course not. But you had it surrounding your bed? Yeah. There were fish tanks on all sides of my bed. And did you think you were underwater? It felt like it. It felt like I just loved it.

I just wanted to be underwater. How old were you? I don't know, 14. Wow. Something like that. No weed? No weed. Not yet.

No. Not until college. That came later. The fighting and the weed. The fighting and the weed. You know how those two go together. They don't. No, they don't at all.

See, I don't fit the mold. I'm a strange animal. But I think what we're establishing is that fish tanks have always been part of your life, except for in college when you're kicking people's asses and smoking weed. Yes. Well, and I didn't actually get back into the fish tanks until after my divorce. Ah. And then-

Around the time of the guitar. And then I was like- No, I was playing guitar the whole time. Since I was 12, I played guitar. So that was something- Which i was playing guitar the whole time since i was 12 i played guitar so that was something which you obviously looking around you do too i did not know that you didn't no no i think we discussed it i think maybe that night yeah i think it's part of that conversation like we should jam oh my god you're like you came out you were like people come over and jam sometimes in new jersey yeah at my place you should we should do it and i'm like. And then we never did.

What am I going to do? I live in California. I mean, I don't know when we have this conversation, but it seems we did because I know things. Yes. It's bizarre. I don't remember the conversation. I don't know what it was.

I've been playing music all along, man. Me too. Since 12. I love it. But did you play in bands? Yeah. In high school? Well, I mean.

In college? It's funny uh remember do you remember you know gaffigan's bits at all yeah he had a bit about like the band the band that plays at the party in high school yeah and he's like this next song is about chasing dreams it's called dream chaser something about that bit just sums up like what being in a band air quotes was like for me in high school because we weren't very good we weren't doing much but we would play like at a party you know if one of our three songs party we'd play a couple of songs yeah everyone's like all right stop please stop at least you never like but there were there were definitely cats in high school were like doing it

like we're cover bands yeah that could play like a bunch of shit i was not one of of those guys. I was in the kind of band that you just talked about. Maybe we knew like four songs, played a couple parties, and that was the end of it. But it's similar for me to all my other things. I didn't want to learn how to play cover tunes. I wanted to write my own, make my own music. Well, I do that now. I never was a guy to, and I think it's funny.

That's interesting because I don't learn leads. Like I'll learn licks, and I've put together a lot of licks. But I never sat down and listened to, tried to learn Van Halen lead or Mark Knopfler lead or even Mike Campbell lead. I never, you know, but like I'll do it with some blues licks. But I'm the same way. And I think there's something about that. about that like i think there's something about comedy where it's sort of like you know like this is for as hard as it is and as crazy it is it's sort of like the path of least resistance for those of us who don't want to work too hard at other shit right well and who are like individuals

like right total individuals i mean you get like once you start doing comedy and you want to you know it's not we're not going to slack off and we're going to work hard and which we have, but it is sort of like it's totally up to you. Exactly, yeah. You know, it's like.

I will work hard, but not on someone else's terms. Exactly. On my own and that's it. With guitar, it's sort of like, well, do you know how to play this way? It's like,

why would I want to do that? Yeah. When I can make my own lead up. It's like, no one gives a fuck about your lead. I'm like, yeah, but it bothers me.

I'd like to be better at guitar. I'm always hard on myself about the guitar and not as much with comedy, but still with comedy too. Why I'm not doing this, I'm not working hard enough or I should know more guitar. Yep, I do the same. You do? I do.

And now it's funny, later in my life, I've kind of had a little fun learning more covers. Right. Songs that I really love, and I go, wait, I think- Why didn't we do this when we were younger? Yeah, I think I know how to, I could figure out how to play that. I've been playing for years. You can figure out how to play anything.

Yeah, totally. You just have to practice. That's the great thing about musical instruments. They're always the same. Yeah. So if they could do it, you should be able to figure it out. Just go on YouTube. Yeah.

And just say, like, learn how to play whatever. And there's a guy going, okay. So there's 40 guys. Which guy could I, do I want a British guy? Do I want a- British guy. There's always one British guy. There's always a couple British guys.

It's fun though. I've really had a lot of fun with that in the last few years. What, learning songs? Yeah, my buddies will come over and I'll be like, I got another one. Let's play, you know. What do you got, a a drummer i have a bass player i have a couple of guys these are guys for each known all your life my drummer the guy that drums with me is a professional drummer who i've known since you know fifth grade or something like that and he'll he'll fucking slam it out with you he? He will. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. Well, we had a good time. I started a Sabbath, a Black Sabbath cover band like 10 years ago now.

I messaged my buddy, the drummer, Billy, and my buddy Beck, the bass player. Yeah. I said, I'm thinking of, I just found Sabbath. I never was that into them before, but I listened to a lot of the- In your 40s? Yeah. Yeah, me too. Did you really?

Yeah. I didn't have an appreciation for them when i was a kid there's a lot of things that i i not missed but i just didn't know and uh like i knew sabbath enough to i believe i think i saw them once when i was in high school but i wasn't a sabbath guy yeah no i wasn't either i was like more of a zeppelin guy for sure and i was not allowed there was no ozzy osbourne was allowed in my house no no like my mom like heard the stories of what ozzy was doing no there will be no really religious lady no not really just just like moderately religious but not obsessively but she yeah she just thought it was weird she you know all the hype about him being sure a satan

worshiper and all that garbage you don't need your kid doing that. Let him stick with fish. Yeah. Yeah. Just focus on the fish tanks. Yeah. Yeah. Until I left one for so long that the filter backed up and like flooded the house and destroyed

the ceiling downstairs. Nice. Then it was like, all right, maybe. Maybe you're not. Maybe it's time to pull back on this hobby. Pull back on the fish hobby. But so I messaged my buddies and said, hey, I'm thinking about, thinking we should do a Sabbath cover band. Yeah.

Hadn't talked to either one of them in a while. Yeah. In less than 30 seconds, they both were like, I'm in. When do we start? And I was like, no shit. So we did it. It was, oh, man, it was some of the most fun. So you had to learn all the Sabbath wicks?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like, when we started, it was like, all right, I think we might be able to do two or three songs. Yeah. And by the end, we did like everything. Really? Yeah. All the way through?

Yeah. Like a bit of finger. Like how well do you know Sabbath? Not that well. Last track on the first album. Yeah. A bit of finger. You did that.

It's like 13 and a half minutes there's all these crazy guitar riffs and it's i mean it's it's fucking awesome what guitar do you play i have an sg all right so after you like crap out on marine biology after a first year of college what do you do you just beat people up and smoke weed kind of kind of there's a lot of beer and uh bong hits and fuck this world. I was always a dreamer, and I had a period where I got angry at the world because I didn't think that.

Really? Yeah. About what that time? Just in general. When you were young. I think what happened is I got my heart broken for the first time. Oh, what was her name? Jane.

Oh, yeah? Still in touch? No. Is this college? She was fine. She was, yeah. But it's totally derailed me. I just didn't. I hadn't had that happen before.

It's the worst. Yeah. When I got my heart broken just shortly after college, I became unhinged. Yeah. And I committed to a life of cynicism and darkness. That's where I was. And booze. Yep.

We were drinking and fighting and fuck this world kind of shit. Yeah. Were you fighting with her? No, no. She just like, it wasn't even like this awful thing. It was just like

that first time somebody dumps you is like pretty fucking brutal. In college, yeah. I mean, not like I had fourth grade there was some trouble. Right, yeah.

But so, the first time there's like real emotional investment. Yeah, first time when you can drink and stuff. Yes. Sort of adult feelings.

Fifth grade breakup after a day of sitting on a bench. And you're like, I can't take this, man. Start hitting the mouthwash. But yeah, that sort of derailed me into not a great place. But I also, there was emotional baggage from stuff from earlier. I didn't realize it then. I didn't figure that out until later. Like what?

Just like, it's a pretty heavy shit that I don't really want to get into, but I had, like most comics, damaged goods. Sure. Like, you know, I developed making people laugh for a reason.

To get over, to,. To avoid the feelings. Yeah, to get past. I was comic relief. There was a lot of fighting in my house growing up. I was comic relief. I would shut down. So I didn't, it's like I wasn't there for it. And then I was like, okay, it's done.

Now I'll do my little song and dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Try to fix everything. Oh, right, right, right uh you know yeah the the yeah the the um you want to make everybody better i did yeah yeah yeah yeah because you know dysfunctional relationships of one kind or another yeah that's how i would make myself feel myself feel better was to try to make everyone else sure better oh you were that guy i I was, yeah. That's hard.

It was hard. It's exhausting. You end up angry. Yeah, and then when you go through a breakup, you go through a relationship, it doesn't work. Yeah. That stuff is sitting right there. And you can't make it right.

But you don't know what it is. And you can't reconcile it with those current circumstances, right? And you can't quite blame yourself. Yeah, and I didn't understand it even. And you can't quite blame yourself. Yeah, and I didn't understand it even. So I got thrown into a bad spot, and I was angry and kind of a madman for a while. How many years? I mean, that was college, and then so I would have been 19,

and then I don't know, like five or six years. You carried it with you, huh? Seven years. I didn't even fully understand that stuff until years later when I went through my divorce. That's when I kind of figured out the other- The childhood trauma. Yeah. And why these relationships had been so turbulent and difficult.

Because you wanted to try to make everything good. I wanted to try to make everything good. And when it went wrong, I wanted to try to reconcile these leftover emotions. And it didn't work because they were not connected to that stuff. They were connected to other things. So I was just like trapped. I didn't know where to go or what to do. So you're trying to get something you didn't get early on or to recreate something

or to create something perfect from your head that was in reaction to what you went through as a kid with these different people, and there was no way those feelings could be resolved with those people. Yeah. Yeah. So it felt very much the same. But although looking back, they're clearly different.

Oh, the what? The two. The feelings and the emotions that go with them. They're clearly different. It's like, how did I not? Well, because like when- Because I was in the throes of it. And also, but like, you know, you get wired as a kid, you know, it's like that.

It's programmed. Yeah. So you're programmed a certain way and your heart's looking for a certain thing and you're looking for like, you know, closure on that or to recreate something or to get something you didn't have. How are you going to know that? Yeah. How are you going to know that until somebody hips you to the way it works?

Yeah. And usually that's after you've destroyed everything yes at least once yes yep that's true too yeah ran it into the ground a couple times yeah so what do you do after college and you're in this uh kind of compressed angry state what's the way where do you end up i still had my dream of getting into show business and and making movies being a filmmaker that's what i wanted to do from when did that start uh early on i loved movies movies Still had my dream of getting into show business and making movies, being a filmmaker. That's what I wanted to do. From when did that start?

Early on. I loved movies. Oh, you loved movies. Movies were my escape. Also didn't really get that until later. You and many, all of us enjoy the movies. Yeah. I love them.

Yeah. And it's interesting to look back. They've definitely influenced me in a lot of good and some negative ways. Really? Yeah. Like you modeled yourself after bad people? No, no, like I expect things to be, I expect real life to be like a movie plot,

so everyone's got ulterior motives or something. Control issues here. Well, yeah, no doubt, definitely, definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why isn't this exactly like I anticipated it to be? Yeah, well, no, it's like, well, everyone cheats. Yeah. Everyone lies.

Everybody will rip anyone off any chance they can. Yeah. You know, it's like the sensationalism that goes with good fiction. Yeah. Doesn't, real life is not necessarily like that. But I, you know, movies were where I hid. Right, right. That was what I wanted to believe in.

Yeah, yeah. And so I invested right that was what I wanted to believe in yeah yeah so I invested in that I get a little like now that I'm sort of more emotionally vulnerable and a little less fucked up I give like movies like I get deep in them me too it's fucking weird yeah me too like sometimes why am I getting so upset about that's you know it'll take me hours to get out of it to get out of the reality of the movie and then you like have and then it's just who are these people that i have in my head and it's the care it's the characters yeah and like it'll take like an hour for me just to kind of like realize my life is just what it is and like

you know and i just was dragged through this whole process of this movie and i enter my life and i'm like all right but like i get very emotionally invested now is that good or does that like make you not want to let that happen again? No, no. I think it's good. I think like, you know, I think I'm more open to it, but I'm surprised. Like it does. Like I've just started recently letting myself indulge in entertainment in a way.

Like, you know, like I didn't watch a lot of TV shows really for a while there because I was working or I didn't make it. Like there was too much. But now like I'll fucking just sit like most people do and watch a lot of TV shows really for a while there because I was working or I didn't make it. There was too much. But now I'll fucking just sit like most people do and watch a movie or two and be like, that's great, and completely get lost in it. And I realize, well, that's what it's for. And then I can appreciate it on deeper levels too, aesthetically and intellectually and whatnot. But some movies, I'm just sort of like, why can't I live there? Why am I back here? That's a nice place

to be yeah yeah right that's the thing i get like you know like i get immersed in them to the point where i'm like ah why can't it just be the movie right and you just watch it like like a regular person yeah and go that was good yeah or i didn't care for that yeah i can't do that either it's like i'm too far in. Yeah. That's what it was to me. And that's what I want it to be. Right.

And you know, it's harder. It gets harder and harder to, uh, let yourself buy into that and, and escape to that spot. Yeah. Especially if you're like at a movie theater.

Yeah. And everyone around you is like chewing and eating. Yeah. Crumpling paper. Crumpling paper and whispering. And I was like, I, like, I can't do this. Why are you in here with me eating goobers? Like this isn't what it's supposed to be.

Yeah, yeah. So you had that going too. You just couldn't get out, Ben. There was no way out for you. But so I bailed. I moved to LA on a whim. Really? I went through another painful relationship breakup scenario.

And this is after college? After college, back home in Jersey. I had a lot of different driving jobs. Yeah. I delivered everything from prescription drugs to pizza to flowers to people. Was it because you liked driving? Yeah. Yeah, I was always a driver.

As soon as I could get my license, I just drove. You love driving. I'm that way too. I used to like it more. I always want to drive. It's the same thing with the movies, the driving. It's like meditative. Yeah.

And it's you. It's all you. Yeah, you just think. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It turns out that's what I really like to do. Think alone. Yeah. It's all you. Yeah, you just think. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, that's, turns out that's what I really like to do.

Think alone. Yeah, it's terrible. But it's kind of, it's kind of true. Yeah. Well, you get out, I guess. You know, you're out. Maybe that's why the cash cap is so good for you.

Forces you into relationship. Well, you know. It comes and goes, and they just leave. There is truth to that. Sure. It gets me back out in the world a little bit. Same with your podcast, Save My Life Like That. Yeah. It gets me back out in the world a little bit. Same with your podcast.

Save my life like that. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like I was a miserable, bitter fuck and people come over and make me feel better. That's cool. That's awesome. That was the whole idea. Yeah.

I got problems. Help me out. Come on over and help me. Help me work through this. Develop my style. That's actually a brilliant move. It was impulsive and desperate, but it worked out. That's awesome.

Yeah. Huge success. Congrats, by the way, man. Thank you very much. It's amazing. I know, it's crazy. The people who have sat here or wherever this chair used to be. Yeah.

Barack Obama. Yeah, on that chair, yeah. It was on that chair. Amazing. Rich Voss, right there on that chair. All right, so you moved here on a whim. I moved to LA. That must have been a disaster.

It wasn't, it wasn't. It was literally like- Had you started doing comedy? No, no. It was literally like, I can't take this anymore here. I keep breaking up with this girl, getting back together with her. Same one, Jane? No, different girl.

And I said, I'm going to get out of here. I'm breaking up with this girl getting back together with her. Same one, Jane? No, different girl. And I said, I'm going to get out of here. I'm going to move to LA. Yeah. And I literally just got on a plane and flew out of here and with no plan,

I looked up my one friend that I knew lived out here. What was the idea? The guitar builder. But were you going to do movies? What was it?

I didn't have a plan. I was like, I need to get out of here. I need to go somewhere else and try to figure out what. But were you going to do movies? What was it? I didn't have a plan. I was like, I need to get out of here. I need to go somewhere else. So you're all fucked up in the head? Try to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do. I'm lost. Wow. So I'm moving to Los Angeles.

That's a bad move. Dude, I found my way, one way or another, by doing that. Yeah? Yeah, I moved out here. I was looking for- It's a weird place to be lost. I was looking for- Yeah, right?

It's crazy to think That I was like One of those Young people Who said I'm gonna move to Yeah Hollywood Right

Pursue my dreams Yeah And somehow it's worked out for me You know like Yeah I stumbled into it I had worked in hotels So I had some good experience

Working at a very nice hotel Back in Jersey You did? It's called Hilton at Short Hills Right right across from the mall at Short Hills. Yeah. And then I came out here. What did you do there? I was like running room service, basically.

Oh. That wasn't my title, but that's what I was doing. So you came out here, and then what happens? You get a job? I looked for jobs in hotels, thinking I can support myself and try to find some way into the world of show business right so you had that much of a plan you're like i'm gonna be in show business i'm gonna do something maybe i'll get a job building sets or because i always was a little handy yeah you know

couldn't find a job i came out of what was then the hyatt next to the store didn't get the job a hotel like way below the level that I had a lot of good experience in and good references. No one cared about my references from Jersey. You were staying at the Hyatt? No. Oh, you came out of the Hyatt, right?

Came out of the Hyatt from an interview. Yeah. And- Comedy store's right there. Started chatting to a guy named Jeff who was a manager at the comedy store. Yeah, Jeff. And it's not the same Jeff that's there now.

Not the piano player no no guy another guy yeah uh and he gave me a job answering the phones get the fuck out of here yeah he said you have a good voice you want it can you you want to answer the phones for us we need somebody these three nights four hours a night 550 an. What year was that? 93. Huh. And I said, okay. Yeah. Sure. And that's how I got into stand-up.

Really? Yeah. Doing the phone job? I took the job answering the phones. I did that job. And then I, did you really? Yeah. Was it when the green room had like the palm trees and stuff up in the back? Yeah.

And Mike Becker's office was right there? Right outside of Mike Becker's office? Right outside of Mike Becker's office. Yeah. Right down the hall Mike Becker's office. Right outside of Mike Becker's office. Yeah. Right down the hall from Mitzi's office. Yep. Yeah, I had that job in 87. That's crazy.

Is that right? Yeah. I didn't know that about you either. That's so funny. I was a doorman at the store. Two guys from Jersey end up out here with the same job at the comedy store. She fired me. She was already-

Mitzi? Yeah, she fired me a lot. And then Pauly would come in and say, you're not fired. Oh, so this was so 93- She was firing everyone. You can't just, if everyone that she fired left, there'd be no one here tomorrow. But you were like that- Please don't leave.

So that was before kind of, it was getting a little weird there, right? Yes. I mean, it was always weird, but it was diminishing. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, she was-

Was Kennison dead yet? was struggling at that point. He had just died. A few years before. So she was struggling a bit, but she wasn't mentally. A little bit. She wasn't sick yet. No. No.

But it was like, it was just scary over there. You ain't no one she's going to say her want. She kind of fired everybody a lot. Yeah. And then. Did you ever drive the car for her? Did you run errands? No.

No, I never did. no. I wasn't there that long before. But did you try stand-up? I did. Do you remember Skippy Lowe? Yep. Skippy Lowe invited me to do his show. In the belly room? Yep. He thought that I was a stand-up. I was telling a story. Because you worked at Phones.

Of how I ended up in LA. Yeah. A story about the girl and the flight with no plan and all that. Yeah. A story about the girl and the flight with no plan and all that. Yeah. And I kind of had some people listening by the end and they thought I was a comedian,

which I was not at the time. Skippy Lowe said, you should do my show. Come do my show Saturday. Yeah. And I was petrified. But you were in. So you didn't consider that fact?

I said, no, no, no, no. Yeah. I can't. And then,

but he gave me his card. Yeah. With a picture of him sitting on a bus bench that had a picture of him on it. Yeah. Where he would do his cable access show. Uh-huh. And the next day I was like, what am I doing? I'm not doing anything.

Yeah. Maybe I've always liked to make people laugh. Yeah. It's got me in trouble, but maybe I could, maybe this is, you know. Yeah. Maybe I should do it. So I tried it. I called him, and I did his show in the belly room.

He had his number there in the Rolodex. Yeah, it was just one card on my cardboard end table, literally. It was a cardboard box. So I called him, and he put me on, and I did his Saturday show in the belly room like six times. It worked out? It worked out. I got a laugh with the first belly room like six times. And it worked out? It worked out. I got a laugh with the first thing I said. Yeah?

And I was instantly hooked. Wow. Comedy store guy. Yeah. That's where it happened. I did like six of those Saturdays with Skip Elo. And then it was going pretty well. Yeah.

I auditioned for Mitzi. Yeah. She passed me. Like, very quickly. Dude, you're a regular. But I didn't understand what that meant. I didn't know yet that that was, like, such a big thing. I left.

I was like, this is what I'm going to do, but I wasn't making enough money to survive out here. So, right, you were thinking practically. So I moved back home. I moved back home and pursued him in New York. But you had no sense of the store, the history of the store, really. A little bit. I knew it was a famous place. But you didn't realize you were supposed to be afraid of Mitzi and that there was a system?

I didn't know that her passing me was a big fucking deal and I should have stayed here. I don't know. I went through some dark times after that, dude. Right? So that was 93. The store did some dark times after that, dude. Right? So that was 93. The store did, you mean? Yeah, yeah. It wasn't like the best of times when I was there.

No, I know. It wasn't like thriving, so. No, right. Right. Yeah, it was like, you know, it was like half-filled rooms. I mean, now it's crazy, but man, it was like, I used to go there when I first got back to LA. Now it's 2002, and I was working, and it was like,

I liked it because no one would bother you. Right. You know, you could just go in and perform for half a room. Right. Yeah, it was half empty.

You know, get the work done. It was worse than that when I was there first. It was like, yeah. It was only crowded on the weekends.

Yeah. And not totally sold out, I think, a lot if I remember right. I used to go. That's how I, so it had the feeling of a dying place

but it also had what it still has the pictures which is just like this feeling of of like authenticity authenticity and like some real history and some like yeah there's you know yes there's a lot there's a lot going on there i like that. I like that place. I do. Yes. But it's so funny. You went back to New York. I went back to New York. I moved back into my parents' house. That's always good. In the basement. Fish?

No fish? No fish. No, you know what I did have? I had a 55-gallon fish tank in the basement of my parents at that point in my life. Yeah? I had forgotten. I had some cool stuff in there. Oh, good.

Freshwater stuff. Uh-huh. I had a freshwater stingray. Oh, wow. Which was unheard of at the time. Yeah. And then I had some cool stuff in there. Oh, good. Freshwater stuff. I had a freshwater stingray. Oh, wow. Which was unheard of at the time. Yeah. And then I had some cool stuff. A snakehead.

Snakehead. Yeah, that's a fish that only eats other fish. Uh-huh. And it'll get as big as the- Tank? Environment will allow. Wow. It'll get huge.

Like an arowana? It's like a really long, kind of. It's really long. Looks like a half snake, half fish. I remember going to the pet store when I was a little kid, seeing the arowana. Yeah. They eat fish. That's a lot like that.

And there was actually a thing with snake heads. So many people bought them. They were very popular with kids and everything with the tanks. Then they would get too big and people would put them in local ponds and stuff. Oh, and they fucking ate everything. They just ruined the population. No shit. Dude, I take my kids. We ate everything. They just ruined the population. No shit. Dude, I take my kids,

we go and walk by this pond in New Jersey, and there's African cichlids. What are they? That's a certain type of fish, like a category of fish that are African. The whole population of this pond in central New Jersey is African fish. Yeah?

Yeah, there's like hundreds of them in there. Does other people know this? I don't know. So you think it's because someone dumped their fish in there? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. But now there's like a whole ecosystem around those guys. It feels like someone should be alerted. Yeah.

Yeah, we should. I'm going to call the fish line. The Department of Game and Fish in New Jersey. Yes. Are you aware? You'd be that guy. So you're in the basement This is Ben Bailey The fish guy

Yeah I'm living in the basement Of my parents And I Sad Happy No good Pretty good I mean I'm still sad

You found your I'm still sad at that period But I found stand up Yeah And I know That that's what I want to do And They are accommodating They're happy I found something But I Yeah. And I know that that's what I want to do. And they are accommodating.

They're happy I found something. But I'm not just, I'm also working. I was delivering pizzas. I was delivering, whatever I could get. Driving. Then I ended up driving. That's when I started driving. Limos?

Yeah. And- Bachelor parties? Bachelor parties? Mostly like corporate to the airport and back. Newark? But a handful of, yeah, back and forth to newark a lot yeah and like i don't know 20 would be like couples going to dinners and shows in the city nothing perverse no never oh wow that's what everyone always wants to know

there was a reference going like hey where can we get blow can you get us blow there was some of that yeah there was some of like can we find find some drugs? Right. Do you know where? Yeah, totally. People open up to you when you're their driver. And now you're driving again professionally. Yes. It's a dream come true. I got a TV show, but I had to keep my job as a driver.

You can still do stand up. You keep your drive as a driver. And you got the fish. I got the fish. You got the fucking guitar going. Everything worked out. It's all coming together, man worked out man yeah it really has i feel very fortunate but so where you start the strip no i went to uh of all places that i went i went to the boston comedy club sure in new york that's how i knew you it's the first place i went i think that's where i met you sure that's where you had the hat

backwards yep yeah that was a thing my grandfather passed away right around the time I started and he had given me that hat. So it was like a little security blanket. So I forget that. Some people are like, man, I remember you used to wear that hat every night. I'm like, I did, didn't I? Yeah, it was like your thing. It was. I feel like you had a down vest or something. I probably had a down vest. Or some vest or some situation. down vest or something. I probably had a down vest. Or some vest or some situation. But I remember,

yeah, I mean, was that like, what are we talking like? That's like 95? Oh, is that late? 96.

That's when you started? I started in 93 at the store, but you know. Right, but out of New York. Probably 95 when I was in New York

pushing, trying to get in. Yeah, I was definitely around then. Yeah, I remember seeing you. You know, I moved back there and I was checking guys out and watching comics.

I was definitely there. You were there. And you were one of the guys that I was like- 95 to 2002. All right, this guy is good. Yeah. A lot of people I was like, I think I can hang. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then some of you guys had been at it and were serious and good at it. Sure. And I was like, oh boy. And you remember the guys that you thought were terrible and now they're big now? Yeah, they're like movie stars. Yeah, yeah. Isn't that wild? That's crazy.

That guy was terrible. It's so weird. I've seen people get funny. Yep. Oh, yeah. A lot of guys, like you're just sort of like, I don't know if this is going to happen

for this guy. And then all of a sudden it clicks. They always knew. 10 years in or something. You're like, oh wow, you're fucking funny now. I always used to say to Dave Cross, you know,

because I came up with Dave Cross. Oh, okay. And I've made the mistake. I've had him on several different types of shows where I'm a host. And I'm like, who would have thought you would have? And the last time I did that to him, he goes, I did. That's a great answer. Well, that's true, though, but that's what keeps us going.

I thought it when you said it, they knew the whole time. I was like, I hadn't thought about it that way. Of course they did, or they wouldn't have stuck with it. It's awesome. Yeah. So, but how did it all unfold? You know, I mean, you were in New York, you stayed in New York. I was in New York for a long time, plugging away in the clubs.

Did you do your Letterman's and your- No. Never did it? Never did. Crushed, crushed on auditions for all those shows. Yeah. But I didn't have management. No Tonight Show?

I've been on the Tonight Show now, but not to do stand-up. I did it when... For the cab? For the cab show. I paneled and talked about it and stuff. But I did Carson Daly. I did Craig Kilbourne. Were the evening and the improvs and stuff,

or those things were done already? Those were done, but there was like late Friday. I did Star Search was a big thing for me early on when Arsenio was hosting it. I went to the end. I didn't win, but I won several times. Isn't it wild, though, because even me, for as long as I've been doing it

and having done all the Konans and everything else, that all of a sudden you come into the most successful part of your life is based on this other thing like you know i you know i broke through doing a podcast in my garage and there was this period there where people were like i really you're a great interviewer and i'm like but i'm a comedian yeah there's that moment you must get that too like oh i'm filled with empathy right now i that's totally, Cash Cab was very much that for me. Because you're doing good, but it's frustrating. It's like, but I do comedy.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, it's so funny on that show. But I'm not, I don't need to talk to people. Yeah. I've been doing comedy my whole life. Yes, yes. It's very frustrating. I love your show, but what about the...

Yeah. I still grapple with that. Yeah. But there was a point where it was very tough because I don't know how I don't know where you were

when like flash forward 10 years of like from 95 slogging away in New York

doing everything you're doing but you're doing what are you headlining B rooms and what are you doing I wasn't really I didn't want to

I was like I want to I just want to crack the rooms in the city and stay here but you did that I wasn't really, I didn't want to. I was like, I just want to crack the rooms in the city and stay here. But you did that. I did.

It took me 10 years to where I was regular weekend doing Friday and Saturday at the Cellar and the Strip and all those clubs. 10 years. 10 years about

from when I was back in New York. And my delivery had evolved into this, I had this very announcer-y voice. I would deliver all of my jokes in this very deliberate tone. And it was great. It was organic. It just happened.

And the jokes hit harder with that. Cash Cab comes along. People know me for that. I can't do that anymore. My crowds come out and they're like, they know me from the show. They're like, why is he talking like that? This is so weird. So they know you as you. They know me for that. I can't do that anymore. My crowds come out and they're like, they know me from the show. They're like, why is he talking like that? This is so weird.

So they know you as you. They know me as me. Yeah. And it was tough, but it forced me to just be me on stage. That's great. And it made me a better comic,

but it was a very confusing period. It was like, what the fuck is going on? I can't do this thing that's been my go-to all these years. I can't do it now. And all of a sudden

you have an audience that actually knows you in a little different way than what you've established. this thing that's been my go-to all these years. I can't do it now. And all of a sudden you have an audience. And I have an audience. That actually knows you in a little different way than what you've established. But how did you get the gig to begin with? Cash Cab, I just auditioned for it. Uh-huh. You know? What year did it start?

2005. Wow. Yeah. Because I remember when you got it and then like all of a sudden it was a thing. Yeah. Like it's a thing. What network is it on? It was a sudden it was a thing. Yeah. It's a thing. What network is it on? It was on Discovery is where it started.

Yeah. Total fluke that it ever got picked up by Discovery. Yeah. But yeah, we were there from 05 until 13, 2012, 2013. What? Yeah. Eight years? Yeah.

Yeah. And then we didn't get picked up again. After eight years? After eight years. After eight years. And then it was all the way to 2017 they brought us back. Is that a union gig? No. Oh, yeah.

So you couldn't even get the insurance, huh? No. Well, that's an interesting question. I mean, when you say it's a union gig, I'm thinking it's not because I'm not getting, there's no residuals, there's no any of that. But I do have SAG Healthcare and I have been in SAG. I mean, I've done other stuff along. So they got to pay you through SAG. But they have to pay me through SAG.

Right. Okay. So you do get the insurance. Insurance, which has been- That's great. Great. Right? Yeah.

It's fucking so important. It's awesome. But during this time, you get married? Yep. You have children? Yes. How many? Two.

That was what, 2007 2007 my kids are 13 and 8 oh so my daughter was 06 so right after the gig who was the woman you married uh a french a french lady really yeah where'd you meet her uh at a bar in jersey where everyone meets french women of course and that was good? Yeah. Yeah, it was good. But I was too, I was a mess. I didn't know what I wanted or needed from a relationship.

Right. Just like I was too young and not in control of, you know, I was like. How long did it take for it to go south? We stayed together for 15 years. That's not nothing. No, no, it was good. And we're still, you know, we get along fine. We do well. You got to deal with the kids. Yeah, we're back and forth.

We live on opposite ends of the same town. Oh, you're in town. Yeah, she lives in the house that we bought together when I moved across town to another place. So now... Kids go back and forth. And I love them dearly. I miss them. Yeah, but they're okay. Yeah, they're doing great.

That's great. that's a good story yeah it's as far as divorce stories go it's pretty good so like what what happened though because like you said it was a dark time like how did like what how did it get away from you what happened i just married i just figured out i wasn't happy oh i just and i had just didn't want to face it didn't want to do that to her. It had nothing to do with her, probably. No, no. It's just like-

Like, what am I doing with my life? This isn't right. This isn't- I can't just stay here and have this continue. It's not. Yeah, yeah. Especially bringing little people in. Yeah, yeah.

Their idea, their subconscious idea of what a relationship is supposed to be is not going to be a good one. And I can't do that. That's why I'm here. Right. We're in this place, you know. Right. So I decided I had to.

You're repeating it. Yeah. So I was like, I got to. From your upbringing. Yeah. I got to go. And, you know, it's very tough. And then you enter the darkness.

No, I was like, I thought I you enter the darkness no i was all right i was like i thought i was through the darkness and didn't realize and i didn't even fully understand what was going on with me until we're getting divorced yeah i agree let's go to counseling yeah we go to the first one yeah afterwards the the shrink pulls me aside and says, I'm going to recommend someone else for you to see about your depression. Huh. And that's what I did. I'm like, what? I'm not depressed.

And she snickered. You've been caught. Yes, you are. I'm like, no. And even as I'm saying, no, I'm not. I'm like, oh, my God. I absolutely am. and i didn't know i was like so you know manage it like we do like the comics manage it boozing whatever and uh

and yeah the life yeah yeah trying to that's the hole you're trying to fill that hole so i she was right i so i went and saw somebody and it changed my life. Really? Yeah. But when did you- I went in there like, this is bullshit. Into the guy. And I sat down in front of this guy and I just, the first little bit of conversation, I just cried for like- You lost it.

I lost it. He asked you some general questions about depression and you're like, that's me. Yeah. No, I think he was like, why are you here? Yeah. And I was like, just like all, that's me. Yeah. No, I think he was like, why are you here? Yeah. And I was like, no. And just like all, everything just came pouring out. And then I was just like out on the street like, what the fuck?

Good moment. What is going on? But then from there, like, you know, I understood all those things. Did you get on the medicine? No. You just like processed. No meds. I said that right out of the gate no no meds so

you did talk therapy until you got shit straight until i understood it and then there you know you sobered up or yeah yeah well i had done that previously i had i had gotten to a point where i was a real mess and i so i didn't drink i didn't i didn't touch alcohol for five years and that also changed my life. You know, that I like just the clarity. Yeah, you just went cold turkey, didn't do anything. Yeah, well, I mean, it took a lot of tries to do that. Sure.

But finally I did. Yeah. And I was like, this is gonna ruin everything. Yeah, where are you at with that now? Now I'm like, after five years, I'm in a, I'm like, I have a couple of beers. Yeah, you know. And that's have a couple of beers. Yeah. And that's it?

That's good? Yeah. When did you write the dark songs? Divorce, divorce time. Before you went to the depression guy? Yes. Oh, during the divorce. Yes.

Yeah. I had built this addition on my house, which was unfinished. This is when I talked to you yeah yeah this has got to be when and i must have been drunk because i don't know where we were or anything but but yeah i built this so that was what year was this did you get uh 2011 yeah this sounds right yeah yeah but so i wrote i was out in there my family was visiting yeah that's the worst part of my divorce is that my family blamed me and didn't, like thought it was a mistake

and didn't think I was doing the right thing. Your parents. Yes. Yeah. If they ever listen to this, they'll be like, what? No, we did not. Yeah, right.

But so I was like hiding from my now ex-wife and family, it was all in the house. I was out in the unfinished thing like chain smoking and playing a guitar and drinking whiskey and just like yeah what the fuck is going on in my life what is it when is this not gonna be how i feel at what point you know and just jamming just jamming writing and singing and did you record that stuff i have recorded that stuff oh yeah how's that sound to you now i love it oh yeah i love

it it's one of the one of the things i'm most proud of in my life really album of tunes but i put and it's out there but i i don't publish it yeah well i didn't put my name on it what does that mean i mean i just put the name of a band and uh where is it it's on it's everywhere but no one's listening to it. But people could. But now you still don't want to connect yourself to it? No, I want it to live on its own. And how's that going? Fine, fine.

I don't have any expectations. It was about making it. How long has the album been out? Since August. Oh, it's new. Yeah. Just this year I finally put it out. I spent three years producing, mixing, mastering it. With those guys?

Yeah. With the drummer and the bass player? Yeah. And it's just the name of a band? Yes. That you're not going to say? I don't want to because that would defeat the purpose of me not- Well, how do you promote it then?

I don't care to promote it. If people find it and they like it, that's great. They'll listen to it and enjoy it. But how do you get the fire started what do you mean people are just going to browse by it on itunes i don't know it's not about that it was about making it but it's on itunes yes huh is it i told you i'm a i'm a weirdo i i've i i've a song about i have arbitrary things that i'm not fine i like to do and don't like to do. I understand. It's just- Is there any songs about coral? Yeah.

It's all about that fish tank that flooded the dining room. Kind of is. A little bit, yeah. And what's the life like now? Do you sell tickets when you go out? I haven't been on the road since last June. You've just been shooting the show? I spent about four months filming the show and then the holidays.

And now this new tour, I'm kicking off a new tour. Oh, is that what's going on? Yeah, that's actually what I'm here to promote. Oh, not the cab show? No, not Cash Cab. No, I'm doing a tour. I'm doing like 14 dates from now every other week until July or whatever. But so when you go out, and I have been, to answer your question, I've been selling tickets

well in the clubs until, and now this is like a leap to another sort of venue size for me. So I have high hopes. But when you go out and you're doing a show, you want to do your set. And then once you've done it, and a special, you'll to do your set and then once you've done it and a special you don't you'll never do it again or you or but it's like it's not policy with me it just so happens that's the way it works right in a way and well for me too i don't remember shit anymore yeah well i'm not gonna do bits from 10 years ago because i don't remember i kind of like to try to see if those bits still work but here's my question yeah yeah well'm sure they would. But don't you think that your fans might want you to do,

like, a bit that they love from way back when? I don't know, you know? It's like, it's really hit or miss with that. Like, if you're going to see a band, you're going to be like, don't play your new album. Yeah, I know, but, like, songs are different. Yeah, well, yeah, for sure. You know, like, you know, music's a whole different thing.

It's magic. You know, comedy's some sort of trick we, you know, you know what I mean? I don't know. I don't know if I agree with you on that. I see what you're saying,

but. I mean, like, can I, like, like when you watch a comedy special, again, and if you're showing somebody else,

you're like, oh, this is a good one. Like, you know, like, but with music, like I can sit there and I listen to this new Abbey Road record.

Have you listened to that? No. The re-release, the remixed Abbey Road by George Martin. It's insane. Amazing. Yeah, and it's sort of like, and I'm almost crying. And that's not happening with comedy. And I know how the song's going to go.

Right. But no, I- Well, music will definitely bring more emotion. Well, yeah, it's just a different- And it can be beautiful, for sure. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, man. But I don't feel like stand-up is a trick. I don't rewatch it.

It's a trick in the sense that like, the first time you hear a joke and you don't know it's coming. Right, right. Do you know what I mean? Yep, yeah. You're sort of like, you're never gonna get that back. I mean, if you do like a long thing and it's nuanced,

that might be worth listening to again. But I don't go back to too many specials more than once. Well, that's what I do. All my bits are long. Yeah, yeah, mine too. Seven, eight, ten-minute chunks. I know, and it's hard to let them go. I'm not saying I'm like some beautiful artist or anything,

but I'm saying it's like- No, no, no, I know what you're saying. And also there's the thing of like, even with like some of my, like the first five CDs or whatever, I know that I wasn't very popular then, and I know all that stuff. It lives,

five or six hours of material that most of my fans now have never fucking heard. Right. So there's always part of me that's sort of like, there's no way they could have heard some of that shit,

and it's good shit, you know, but then you always got to deal with the one asshole who after the show comes up and goes like, I thought you were

doing new stuff. Oh yeah. Well that's the thing, you get it either way. How come you didn't do your Google bit? No, I don't get that much.

I get that. How come you didn't do your Google bit? I wanted you to do your nearly flightless birds bit. Bits that I love and I'm proud of

but I haven't done in 10 years. And then someone else would come up and go, oh I thought you were going to do your nearly flightless birds bit. Bits that I love and I'm proud of, but I haven't done in 10 years. And then someone else would come up and go, oh, I thought you were going to do new stuff. Like, you can't please everybody. That's why it's this little crux. I'm so fucking mad. Because I went back to England sooner than I should have. Like, I was building the set for the special.

But I went back there. I did like half of what I'd done there the last time, but another 45 minutes of new shit on top of like 45 that I was working on before. And someone was like, I don't even know why I bought tickets. I'm like, fuck this. What? Fuck you.

Oh, that sucks. We should get our money back. It's like, fuck this. What, because it was the same, because you did some of the same stuff? Yeah, right. Huh. So I tend to, after a point point i don't even know what's why that's making me angry they did it to you and it's making me angry oh fucking it made me

you know it pissed me off but i i get it do you respond to that shit i did that one did you it's a struggle not to right i then went back and forth a couple times i'm like where do you want me to send you your fucking money? Yeah, I'll send you your ticket money. And then they didn't. They just wanted to make me feel like shit. Yeah, I'm a lady from England. See, well, that's the thing.

People also, they just want to get a response from you. I know. Right? But it's hard to know that in the moment. You're triggered. You're angry. But to me, it's like, I don't tour. I don't bust my balls like some guys do.

I go out a lot. But I have certain markets I do really well in, certain markets I'm not great in. Usually I can draw like 8,000 to 1,200 in most places. And then there's a couple of cities where I can sell 2,000 and change. But that's the top of it. But that's great. Yeah, it's great. It's a living and it's a nice living and it's a good audience and they're good people.

Like, there's no problems at my shows. Like, if I do some club dates to write, you know, the waitresses are like,

these people are nice people. They're adults. Yeah. I'm not going to walk in and look at a table and be like, oh, fuck,

that's going to be a problem. You know, like, yep, yep. You can see them. You can spot them on the way in. Yeah.

Here they come. And I still do those club dates like that where, you know, it could be hit or miss. But when I'm writing shit and there's clubs I still like to do. But my point is, is like, I don't drive myself crazy and I just want it to be a good experience. And, you know, I'm happier if I'm doing stuff I'm engaged in and new. I'm not worrying about'm engaged in and new and not worrying about like old shit. Like I know that these markets that some people will drive to come see these shows I'm doing and they've seen it, you know, somewhere else because like people will drive to see me.

But some of them are not going to. And it's pretty spectacular kind of button pushing set. And, you know, but even, okay, for instance, like my's like, well, we're having trouble with Orlando. And I don't know what that means. So I'm finally today, I call him up and I'm like, what does that fucking mean, man? Is this going to be embarrassing or what? Right. And he's like, well, you know, the place seats 1800.

And right now, three weeks, you know, left for ticket sales. You're at like six. And I'm like, that's fine. I could show you my Orlando numbers and you'd feel a lot better. But you're not at the same venue. Yes, I am. So cry me a river, buddy. Apparently they can close the sides in the balcony.

It's going to feel very comfortable. Yeah, it'll be fine. That's what I've heard. That's what I've been told. You're not going to know because they'll sides in the balcony it's gonna feel very comfortable yeah it'll be fine that's what i've heard that's what i've been told like you you're not gonna know because you know that they'll darken the balcony and they can close the sides in yeah we're both gonna have a great time but dude your fans love you and they are gonna come out yeah no i'm excited about that many you're i think no it's gonna be fine you know it's just like it is it is it's a stressful thing though it's like but it's just weird you hit these certain levels. I mean, dude, I mean, it's like I used to go,

I would prefer a half a room. You know, like it's a manageable situation. We came up doing that. You fucking go on stage at Boston for fucking 12 people, and sometimes it'd be the best fucking night you had, dude. It'd be great. I was just talking to somebody the other night how that club, there was a point where I could go in there.

Boston Comedy Club. Boston Comedy Club. Boston Comedy Club in New York at the end of a weeknight. Right. And do a half hour. Yeah. For like anywhere from five to 25 people. Yeah, right. And it was awesome.

It's the best. It was like such a great thing for me as a comic. Well, that's how you learn how to connect with people. Like how you build that relationship with an audience. It was like, and I did some gnarly shows in there too. Sure. But just this idea that like- We used to say it sucks the life out of you

as soon as you walk in, but it's hard. That was like, but we're going to stick it out. But just that fucking idea that we'd walk in there and you'd walk in and you'd see like six people sit in different places and you'd be like, we got a show. We got it. It's happening. Yeah. It be like, we got a show. It's happening. It's Tuesday and we got a show.

Great. Yeah, you went like, oh, fuck, there's only six people. You're like, we doing it? I didn't come all the way in for nothing. One time, oh my God, I have kind of forgotten this story. One time I drove in from Jersey to go do a spot at the Boston. I get there and they're closing up. We had no crowd.

Son of a bitch. I'm like, there and they're closing up. Right. We had no crowd. Right. Son of a bitch. Right. Like, well, I guess I'll go downstairs. Yeah. To the baguette. To the,

yeah, it was the Sun Mountain cafe then. Went down there, got a beer, I was sitting there. This other guy, Arnold Acevedo,

you remember that guy? No, not really. He's kind of like my class or even a little later than me. So he's removed from you a little bit. Yeah. He and I are sitting there.

A bus pulls up out in front, and a person gets out and goes, is trying to open the door to go upstairs to the club. Yeah. And we're like, what's this? So we go out and we talk to them. They're like, we're here for the show. This whole tour group was planning to come to that show. The Boston Comedy Club?

At the Boston Comedy Club. Oh, my God. We were like, holy shit, dude, let's let him in. So we go down and we get the guy behind the bar, Patrick, the Irishman down there. Yeah, I remember Patrick, yeah. Patrick and Garrett, the brothers. Yeah.

He goes up and opens the door for us. He goes, go ahead, you know, whatever you want to do, boys. We'll run drinks from down here, you know. So we did a show. Forty people got off a bus and came in. We charged them a cover, and like three of us did a show. 40 people got off a bus and came in. We charged them a cover. And like three of us did a half hour each. And it was like- The best.

And we made the money. Like normally we'd have like no money for the show. Or like eight bucks. Just have like Weird Jason giving you $20. He was the one. He was there that night. He closed down the club. He was like, yeah, no show, no show.

That's great. Oh, it was awesome. It was a, yeah, no show, no show. That's great. Oh, it was awesome. It was a triumphant night. That's one of those great nights. It was like the guys in Shawshank drinking beers on the roof. We were just like, this is amazing. We made like $42. That's what's going to happen for you in Orlando.

In Orlando, yeah. I feel it. It's going to be- I don't know. I had a great run of shows last time I was there. Yeah. I literally a great run of shows last time I was there. Yeah. I've never- I literally fucking avoid Florida.

The whole state. Florida's a unique place. No, I have nothing against it. I just don't find that- Oh, you feel like they don't like you. Well, just sort of like, I don't know. I think I have some PTSD from a couple of shows i did there in the past like there was a my mother lives down there so both of those involve them coming one was at

that fucking hard rock casino right in lauderdale which is where my mom lives in hollywood okay and it was before they built it up like now it's a huge guitar shape hotel with everything but it was before it was it was when it was an improv at the hard rock right yeah and it sucked and my fucking family came and it sucked and then there was another time where i was at the palm beach improv and it fucking stunk because you know the fucking middle act you know closed with like hey let's uh let's give it up for the firefighters you know it was just like you know too much yeah and it was just and i think they fucked me up and i yeah i used to do the tampa improv in ybor city yeah they do and it was okay but yeah and i i think i was a different comic then and certainly i didn't have a drawer or

anything right but but still some of those things stick with you yeah yeah you know and you're like i'm not doing that it's when your family comes Is it the worst when friends or family are like, I want to come to a show? And you're like, okay, here's one that you should come to. Right. I've had this happen a few times over the years. And they're like, oh, I think we're going to come to this one. And you're like, no, no, I chose one. Yeah, yeah.

I want to come to that one. Yeah, I know what's going to happen at that one. Yeah, it's not going to be what I want you to think my life is. Yeah, that's when we to be. It's not going to be what I want you to think my life is. Yeah, that's when we do privately in front of strangers. If you want to... That's for strangers,

not for a family. Oh, the juggling act of that whole thing. I don't care anymore. I didn't call you. I don't either. You remember Red Johnny and the round guy?

I do. Are they both alive? Yeah. Okay, good. Tim said to me, he goes, what the fuck, man? The round guy. Yeah. Yeah.

He goes, dude, just, who cares? Yeah. Show them how you live. Yeah. Who gives a shit? Right. What, do you want to pretend you're not performing in these, you know, these like shitty basement clubs?

You are. That's your life. Fuck, you're right, man. You're absolutely right. This is our life. What happened to Red Johnny? Johnny is the voice. Oh,'re absolutely right this is our life what happened to red johnny uh johnny is the voice oh he's good what happened oh yeah tim uh he's not in uh comedy anymore but he like he does video production for like some metals company up in connecticut i've got a wife and kids he's doing well good i respect the people that get out and

do well yeah good for him we're still in it. Yeah. And you're doing good. Thank you, man. It's good talking to you. Yeah, it's good talking to you. Are we good? I think we're good. Good. I feel like we've always been pretty good.

Oh, no, no. We have no problems. I just want to make sure we're closing out nicely. Oh, okay. I think we're closing out nicely. Good. Come and see us both. We need to sell tickets.

In Orlando. Huh? Aquarians, folks. to sell tickets in orlando huh aquariums folks aquariums i didn't realize well while i was talking to him that it was it's sort of that was the reprieve man i mean you know whatever was going on in his house that he didn't want to talk about you know being underwater. Or the closest he could be to underwater was where he felt peace. He's doing okay. He's on Cash Cab. You can watch that on Bravo. You can go to TheRealBenBailey.com for his tour dates. And I was happy to talk to him.

That was great. You can also go to WTFPod.com slash tour for venue and ticket information for all of my winter tour dates. I'm not going to read them to you again. I've gotten everybody I'm going to get in Grand Rapids. But I'm going to be there on the 31st. That's tomorrow.

Tonight I'm in Cleveland. Tomorrow I'm in Grand Rapids. And so yeah. And also I do this with Orlando too. I'll be in orlando hard rack a lot hard rack hard rock live february 14th that's valentine's day but i'm telling you everyone i could get in orlando i've gotten no music in a hotel room. Boomer lives! You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything.

So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats, get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.

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