WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 1114 - Taylor Tomlinson

Episode Date: April 13, 2020

Taylor Tomlinson is possibly the first guest who grew up listening to WTF and learned the comic trade from comedians on the podcast. At the time, she was a teenager doing standup in churches and she was soon a fixture on the Christian comedy circuit. Taylor talks with Marc about how her career expanded, how she had a crisis of faith, and how her family reacted to her recent work, including her new Netflix special, Quarter-Life Crisis. She also talks about living through quarantine with her comic boyfriend Sam Morril. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace and Scotts Triple Action Turf Builder. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck nicks what the fucksters

what's happening i'm mark maron this. This is WTF, my podcast. From inside the house, inside the garage. Man. People are going nuts. And I get it. I get it. I was going nuts. But I, you know, I go out and I run and shit.

And I try to stay sane. Trying trying there's been a couple of nights where i wake up and i'm freaking out how are you guys doing man look i'm fortunate and i know that in the sense that like i you know i'm okay for now but i know that's not everybody's story and and i I, and I want to be empathetic with that and say, you know, I feel for you. I been where you are, but not in this position in this situation where we're helpless, powerless to change anything.

It's tough. And, you know, I'm sorry that we're all going through it. And I want to make sure that I keep my empathy because I'm not naturally fully empathetic like I feel things but they're usually in relation to me like so it you know in order for me to kind of engage that muscle and really kind of get things into perspective I've got to meditate on it a minute. And I realize, and I want to make sure that I understand out loud that, you know, I am grateful for a lot of the people that are going to work amidst this fucking nightmare.

First responders, healthcare professionals, people delivering food. I know a lot of lip service is paid to this, but I don't think there's ever going to be enough ever going through it or in retrospect. There are people that are really stepping up and that are really being selfless in this. Maybe some people out of necessity, but some people truly have the heart to be selfless. And, you know, it is a holiday period for some. And it's just I just want to make sure I put that out there to remind myself and everybody else that, you know, we we get selfish. And, you know, we think like, well, this is fucking inconvenient. And here I am living a life of of leisure to a degree, though, with uh again with the sort of constant current of terror anytime i go out in order to do an essential bit of business grab some food take a run

wearing the mask a lot of people making masks i've not had any problem adjusting to the masks and seeing people with masks. You got to get the right mask so you don't pass out. If it's too thick, you know, you might black out. And then you're going to think you have something wrong with you. And then you're going to end up in the hospital and, you know, expose yourself to other possibilities. Take up valuable time for someone to tell you that you hyperventilated because you were breathing your own air and breath into a mask and right back in again there's nothing wrong with you um get get a different fabric you're okay by the way my guest today taylor tomlinson

i'm sure most of you have watched her special by this point Quarter Life Crisis it's now streaming on Netflix she also does a bit on YouTube I believe with her boyfriend who is also a comic Sam Morrell who's going to be on Thursday's show

both of these interviews this week are post quarantine interviews people that came over amidst the home shelter and distancing rules to be part of this essential service, the podcast. We took proper precautions. We took pictures at a distance and we did it. We overcame it. But this is in real time, real face-to-face shit. Six feet apart, folks. Six feet apart. So a couple months ago, folks, we put out a special edition line of merch to celebrate the first 10 years of WTF.

And the response was so great, we made a second line of posters, T-shirts, and new enamel pins. These are all new designs by the same artist, Johnny Jones. And you can get another limited edition poster. Signed by me, a new glow-in-the-dark t-shirt, and a tentacle head enameled pin. These are some great trippy designs by Johnny, and just like the first batch, we're only making one run of this stuff. We'll post some pictures on Twitter and Instagram, and you can go get this stuff at podswag.com slash WTF, or go to wtf pod dot com and click on the merch link. Dig it.

I want to tell you that sort of trust the film that Lynn Shelton made that I am in, along with Michaela Watkins, Jillian Bell, John Bass, Toby Huss, Dan Baxdahl is now on showtime both uh on scheduled viewings and you can stream it on showtime it's now you if you have showtime you can watch sword of trust enjoy it so i was talking to you the other day i you know that monkey was experiencing difficulty breathing my near 16 year old cat and um had to go to the vet. And I explained to you the process. I hadn't done the process, but I did the process, man. Right after I talked to you on Thursday, I got him in the cage, acted quick, had it open, top loader, dropped him in there. He freaked out, but he didn't shit or piss, which is progress.

Drove to the vet, got there about 10 minutes before they came back from lunch parked behind the place at two o'clock i called into the front desk said i got monkey out here and they said we'll send somebody out they sent somebody out took monkey in i waited got a call from the front how do you want to pay for this paid for it on the phone they brought monkey back out brought him home i think he's doing all right doctor checked up on me it's fucking heroes man i mean people some people all they gots are fucking pets and these people are working they're working people are working to save human lives but they're also keeping pets alive which are helping keep people sane and emotionally connected. Don't want to fall into yourself or get sick.

Also, saw a movie I'd never seen before. Not a Criterion trip. It's weird, man. I just had this craving to see some, I want to see some early James Caan. Old footage of the tough Jew. Then we found this movie called Slither. Worst title.

Kind of a great movie though. Kind of a great little comedy from the 70s, early 70s. James Caan, Peter Boyle, Kellerman Alan Garfield is in it rest in peace Alan lost Alan Garfield last week, few days ago Alex Rocco is in it it's kind of a great little movie

Sally Kellerman played my mother on Maren and I love her and I hope she's okay alex rocco who played mo green in the godfather did one of his last bits of acting on my show marin uh with elliot gould it was elliot gould and alex rocco on that episode tremendous oh man i've had some good moments in my life but this movie's kind of crazy it's kind of a crazy movie and i recommend it because it's got that 70s vibe but it was before comedies became overwritten and there's some genuinely kind of a sensitive guy, kind of a slightly scared guy. And it's kind of genius.

There's bits between Kellerman and Caan that are just great, and Peter Boyle's great. Maybe it's just me, but I never heard of the movie. So I had to rent it on iTunes. It's called Slither. See, I guess the problem was really that there was something. It sounds like of the movie. So I had to rent it on iTunes. It's called Slither. See, I guess the problem was really that there was some, it sounds like a horror movie. And there was a horror movie called Slither. But this is Slither.

It was in, it's 1973. It's just a great little 70s movie that I knew nothing about. Okay? That's all. All right? Also, maybe The Gambler would be good. The original Gambler? Wasn't that Mazursky? Am I making that up? Somebody help me. Hey, Google, who directed The Gambler with James Caan? The Gambler was directed by Carol Rice. Oh, really? Why was I thinking Mazurski? That's weird.

Hey, Google, who wrote The Gambler with James Caan? Toback. That's it. James Toback and Mazurski. I got them confused. All right. So, Taylor Tomlinson, I didn't know going in. You know, she got pitched. She's a comic. She's a fan of this show and uh i didn't know her i've never seen her before i didn't know her from around i

don't know where she came from and i you know and i prejudged her special you know i'm like who's this young comic that all of a sudden can just do an hour and it was tight and well written and well performed i mean it's good she's a good comic and i and she's young she's in her 20s i was like how do you get that much shit together i'm trying to think when did i get my wow 63 73 83 93 i was 32 before when i did my half hour and i barely had it together she's like 27 or something when she did this. Anyways, the special is called Quarter Life Crisis. I enjoyed it. She's great.

And she's got a great story. I was happy to talk to her. I'm happy that she came over. She was the first Let's Sit Six Feet Apart guest. There hasn't been many since her. There's only been three in total. But this is me talking to Taylor Tomlinson. Are you self-employed? Don't think you need business insurance? Think again. But this is me talking to Taylor Tomlinson. That's why you need insurance. Don't let the I'm-too-small-for-this mindset hold you back from protecting yourself.

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Is this six feet? I mean, this feels... You all right over there? Yeah, this feels all right. You feel far enough away? I have everything you need. There's hand sanitizer. Look at this.

There's some rubber gloves. Amazing. I don't anticipate that we'll need the rubber gloves. I mean, I was just like, I don't know how nervous he is. It really comes down to, I don't know, I've been out. I've been to supermarkets. I'm not worried about you giving it to me, but I don't know me. Right.

You? Yeah, that's exactly how I felt too. I mean, when my team was asking me about doing podcasts i was like give me like one more week yeah that i haven't been on a plane right because if i give mark maron coronavirus yeah my career is over no it's not right just as it's beginning it's over no one she killed the king no one no one's gonna blame anybody i'm the king of what i mean of comedy i think i mean i feel like all right i have to say this up top and i'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable uh this sounds exciting this is like my oldest comedy dream yeah of like you started this podcast

six months before i started doing comedy which was my junior year of high school. So like a little over a decade ago? Mm-hmm. Yeah, 2009, right? Yeah, right. And so listening to this podcast is like how I learned how people became comedians. Really? Yeah.

Well, and I started in a weird way. I started in like churches and stuff. Okay, wait. Let's go back. Okay, so you're listening to my show secretly you have to listen listen to it secretly when you were in high school oh yeah no this was not something i was throwing out in the car with my dad right nobody and i'm sure your friends are like mark who what i made you are the only comedian i've ever paid to go see when i you are

when i was that when i turned 18 you were at the ice house in pasadena oh and i've never been to a comedy club because i don't know how to make a fake id right a good kid yeah and it was you headlining uh with eddie pepitone and maria bamford oh wow yeah it was insane and i remember i sat in the back of the ice house i still feel this way when i perform there and just felt like oh my god it's supposed to be like this like this is how it's supposed to sound on all the albums and specials i listen to this is it it was like like a huge turning point for me and as was listening to your podcast so uh yeah this is like very surreal for me oh well welcome nice to have to have you. Thank you. I didn't know who you were.

I know. We've never met. How was I going to know who you were? That's the weird thing about like, you know, these specials come out and yours came out. When did it come out? A few weeks ago? A week before yours, I think. Oh, so we're all in the same kind of cluster?

Yeah. A week before yours. Oh, okay. So you're still really doing press around that. I mean, I was. Right. Now everyone's kind of like- Nervous about it?

Can we do anything? Yeah, still doing interviews over the phone. Right. And the thing that's weird about Netflix is you don't know. You have no idea how many people are watching. All you can do is watch Twitter or watch whatever you're doing, like whatever platforms you're on. It's like, are people watching it?

Those four people seem to. I got nine tweets today that means what times a million that must be how many people but you come out and i'm like where the fuck they but i don't know all the young people who are doing the young uh up-and-comers and you're dating you're dating sam like i know that guy because i think he middled for me Because I think he middled for me in Menlo. What's that one? Sunnyvale.

Oh, at Rooster Tees. At Rooster Tees. I think Sam middled for me at Rooster Tees once. It must have been almost, you know, probably eight years ago. Yeah. But I didn't know he was out here. Yeah, he's out here now for the foreseeable future. He was out here visiting, and he had already been out here a lot in February. Oh, okay, right.

So he wasn't living here. You're just stuck with him now. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very happily stuck with him. But he lives in New York. He's never going to move. I live here. I'm from California.

He lucked out to get out of there. I know. How long has he been out here? I mean, he's been out here since the 8th. Man, because it's a fucking disaster there. I know. How long has he been out here? I mean, he's he's been out here since the 8th. Man, it's a fucking disaster there. I know. I imagine it's going to get that way here to some degree. But like we're naturally sort of isolated as people here. Like our communal experience is not like New York where you walk outside and you're in it. Yeah. And you just rely on public transportation. Everything. We all have cars. Yeah. There's people everywhere everywhere all all around you all the time yeah he got out yeah i mean he he was considering going back on like the 12th like because things were about to get bad and he's like he is a new yorker like he felt very loyal right he should go and i was kind of like i mean i totally get it if you if you feel like you need to but i feel like it would be safer for you to just not say get on a plane.

Yeah, no, good call. How long have you been with that guy? Like six months. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right, so obviously there's no reason that I would have known you before. I mean, we don't seem to travel in the same circles, but it is kind of daunting and impressive that, you know, how old are you? 26.

and impressive that, you know, how old are you? 26. 26, and you got that like hour plus of solid shit. Thank you. That looks pretty honed, pretty tight, pretty revealing. You got a good pace to you, but you're talking about some pretty daunting personal shit. Oh, thank you.

You're like Mulaney, like it sneaks in. You're like, this guy, look at this kid's chipper. He's got good style. Wow, that was kind of dark. What just happened? Yeah, no, I'm definitely tricking people. There was darker stuff that I didn't put in this special because I was like, if this special goes well, maybe then people will come see me on purpose. And then I can be a little more honest. honest so like the new hour that i was doing on the road yeah uh right before uh you know you can't do shows anymore was like much darker and much more personal and even uh i did hilarities

in cleveland two days after the special came out yeah it's nice that guy nick yeah nick and sam and them and sam goes uh the manager there goes yeah so did you get any like uh pushback from your reps about how much like darker you are now and i was like i don't know i don't but they haven't seen it yet i guess more is it personal it's personal yeah yeah it's a lot like like i had jokes about like losing my mom as a kid that i just didn't put in this one because i'm like let's just make this one about my dad who's still alive let's just take the shit out. Just throw dad under the bus for a while. Just a little bit. I mean, I feel like I cushioned it. No, definitely.

But yeah, no, there's more to be said about my relationship with my dad, for sure. Yeah, and about your childhood in general. Well, it's a delicate balance, because I had to deal with that with my special, but it wasn't so much personal darkness. It was a general sense of foreboding doom you know which i think resonates with people but if you're not careful not unlike personal darkness you people will get to a point where they're like all right we're good you know so you've sort of got to balance it with these other bits you know the kind of you know to structure it so people don't go off the cliff and they're not going to look at you and go like this she's got problems. Right. This is sad now. Right. You got to say we're all going

to die. Also supplements seem like bullshit. Right. But I've done that sort of personal thing to like to an extreme as well through different parts of my life. I don't know what I was doing at the ice house, but some of that stuff gets kind of weighty. And then you have these people that are like, well, I mean, is this therapy? I hate that fucking question. It's like, no, it's organized, structured, funny things about sad parts of my life designed to make you laugh. Yes. Right?

Absolutely. Don't you hate when people ask you if it's therapy? Oh, my gosh. I mean, I have a lot of jokes about therapy now, which maybe heads that off a little bit or maybe leans into it. I can't tell. But, yeah, no, I hear people say that not to me directly, but about other people. I don't know. It just was that therapy or something.

These are just, you know, civilians, not other comedians. And I don't know. I personally love it when comics get really dark and personal so i feel like i don't totally understand it but i could sort of sympathize with an audience on the road that is just trying to have a night out and got a babysitter yeah those people are that yeah i don't yeah i i don't owe them an apology but i'm not everyone's idea of a night out yeah but it's like you got google like look me up yeah yeah do a little research yeah Yeah. At this point. Yeah, kind of. But like, but you've experienced that, like the nature of mining yourself for material,

especially if it's dark. And also like there was part of me watching your special where I'm like, how big of a problem could it be? She's 12. This big life crisis she's having. How much am I going to empathize for that girl who's complaining about her quarter life crisis? But it really, I think it seems like about a third of it is really dealing with being your age. And the other bit is about how you grew up.

Right? Yeah. Really? Yeah. And just not feeling ready to make any decisions that would move my life forward. Except that you have this incredibly tight hour plus of stand-up that clearly you've been working on diligently and in a very focused way. Yeah, definitely. But that's just because I think I'm going to die really young.

So I think, oh, yeah. I mean, when your parent dies really young, you go, oh, I guess I'm going to die at 34 also. Oh, my God, 34? 34. So every time I get something in his business, I'm like, well, I mean, I'm about to die. So it makes sense that the universe or God or whoever would give me this before I die. I mean, when everything went down like a week after my special came out. You're like, oh, here we go.

I was like, yeah, this is why. This adds up. It's funny. Mine came out a week after and I felt the same way. Right. But I was like, I timed this just right. I mean, I was talking about this, you know, this makes perfect sense. But I didn't think it made perfect sense because of course I'm going to die. It was like, I did it. I got in under the wire. This is great timing for me, bad timing for the world. Yes, exactly. Do you feel like people are more likely to find your special and watch it because of the name? Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, that's what I thought too.

But then I was also like, does that mean, do you think people are also like, I don't want to think about the fact that it's the end times? So they'll avoid it. Because I'm the type of person who wants to watch Contagion right now. No, a lot of people are. A lot of people are, but then the other side of it is people going, I would never right now. I guess. I think that's wearing out, though. I think that in times like these where people are painfully aware of what's happening,

the desire to distract yourself is heavy, but you're also very on to it like you know when you're just going through life and your problems are everyday problems and you like check out however you're going to check out which is like most of your fucking day that you know you're not thinking like i'm dying so like i think the idea of checking out now it's a little more loaded because how are you going to do it like i'm just going to get my mind off this and you're not doing anything else yeah but sitting at home sitting home wondering how this is going to fucking pan out yeah so you might as well look at the worst of it let's watch contagion to see what we're up against yeah i googled it the end they find a vaccine so same with outbreak

yeah yeah they find the monkey at the end of outbreak. If the end was there's no more Earth, then I wouldn't watch that. What just came on? Was that outside? Yeah. I'm having like, wow. So, all right. But now I feel like

I've dealt with this. You're a special guest. You know, this happens. And this is a new space and this is not as noisy as it could be, but it won't last forever. Yes.

Much like this pandemic, we hope. I hope. What are you doing? What am I doing? Yeah, for this pandemic situation. Oh my gosh. I mean, I'm lucky that Sam stayed here because, I mean, I was not going to go see my family or anything

coming off of two weeks on the road where I was like Vegas to New York to Cleveland. Right. I was like, all right, I guess I have to not see anybody for two weeks. But he was also coming off of being on the road from here to there to wherever. And so we had already been together for a few days. So it was like, okay, if you have it or I have it, we've given it to each other. Right.

So let's hunker down here. Right. I mean, or you can go back to New York and also self-isolate, in which case we just would have been on FaceTime all day. Right. But for us, it's pretty been on FaceTime all day. Right. But for us, it's pretty nice because we're long distance. Right. So we've never gotten to like.

Hang out? Hang out like this. How's that going? It's actually going great. Really? Yeah. We're like, I mean, we're just like very good friends. Right.

I would just hang out with him anyway. I was hesitant to date him because I was like, I would like to be friends with you. And he's like, well, I'm not going to be your friend now be your friend now and i'm like okay well then i guess we'll date but i i was like i like you so much as a person and i feel like we you know could hang out forever uh he's a sharp guy he's great great joke writer yeah seems like a sweet sort of soft-spoken dude i don't really know him but he doesn't seem like a loudmouth or a guy who's going to make a scene. No, not at all. Very nice guy. So we've been making dumb videos

and started a movie podcast for the time being. And what most people, I think, are doing. Six months you've been with him. Six months, yeah. First comic you've dated? No. Second comic I've dated? Who's the other guy?

I don't know why I'm asking this. I don't think you know him. I was married to a woman who was a comic trying to do it. And it got ugly around that. I think that the deepest resentment she had towards me was something I did not do for her as somebody in show business, which is bad. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Have you guys had any? Well, no. I'm not going to put any bait in your head. which is bad. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you guys had any, well, no, I'm not going to put any bait in your head. He's had a special. He's had a special, right? Yeah, he just had a special come out called I Got This with Comedy Central.

Right. So you guys are good? You're even? Yeah. I mean, for me, for me it's interesting because the other comic I dated was not better than me.

We were kind of, we were like the same age and stuff dated was not like better than me right we were kind of we're like the same age and stuff so it's been interesting for me dating somebody who's you know been doing it closer like 15 years and is in my opinion just clearly better and i would never different like i mean different yes but also just been doing it longer so you know it's hard to argue with that so and he's never made me feel like that or said anything, but I feel that way. And so. I don't know if it's necessarily true. I mean, he does a different form.

He's like a joke guy. I mean, you're a joke woman, but you're a long form person. Right. Yeah. We have very different styles. He's like joke to joke. Like he's like a tell style, right? Yeah.

Or he used to be. Yeah. But you're like long form like personal stuff right yeah yeah which I wish I were more topical I always wish I could write tight jokes and be satisfied with it I mean I think when you do long form you know there are jokes in it and you know you're getting laughs but there's some magic to writing one-liners or just three-line jokes that land I just even when I've done, it's like doing math to me. Like, you know, you're just sitting there

writing these jokes. And then like, it's not satisfying enough for me to just be like, that one landed. Yeah, no, I need you to laugh and also see me. Yeah. You know, like this is also for me. This is what I've been doing to know who I am. And now I have my space as a human and I need you to hear me and see me.

Yeah. Yeah. No matter what, you don't have to like me, but I have things to say. But I exist. Yes. It's exactly how I, that's why I did it. Were your parents like painfully selfish on top of Christian or your dad anyways? I don't know. I mean. I just, I think I am the way I am because they took up a lot of air. Yeah. I mean, I had an interesting situation after my mom passed away. My dad got remarried somewhat quickly and sort of got to like revamp his life a little bit. Like he got a new.

Yeah, he got like a new career and we moved to like a nicer place. And like, he got a new wife who he's still with and she's wonderful. And they're an amazing couple. Um, but it was, it was a strange dynamic, uh,

that I'm probably still working through in therapy to be mourning, like the loss of the most important person in your life. to be mourning the loss of the most important person in your life while the other most important person in your life is falling in love. Moving on. Yeah, in the midst of a honeymoon period, essentially, which he deserved at that point. He'd been through the ringer for years with my mom being sick, so I'm glad he was happy.

Well, where did you grow up? I grew up in Modesto until i was like 10 and then i was in uh temecula now those are those are la satellites right or are they bay area satellites i always forget modesto is like an hour from sacramento okay and then temecula is like in between la and san diego it's like closer to san diego okay so one's up north and one's a little south. Yeah. Okay. So how old were you? Are you the only kid? No, I have three younger sisters.

Three younger sisters? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. So your dad was doing what up there in Modesto? He was a music teacher. Oh.

Yeah. Well, that's nice. Yeah, he's like an amazing singer. He's so good. I mean, he wanted to be a performer and then realized he couldn't travel that much and also have a family, and he really wanted a family. So he changed his major to music education because he was like, no, I want to have kids and I want to be there and stuff.

So I think when I started doing stand-up, he and I took a class together, which was his idea. That's how I started doing stand-up. And I think he took a class together, which was his idea. That's how I started doing standup. And, uh, I think he got a real kick out of it and probably still does to a degree that I am making a living being a performer. Um, but like how,

so he taught what, what age is like, like he was teaching high school. Uh, he taught, I think he taught like all grades at a certain point, but my memory of it is that he was teaching like show choir in high school. So does he play an instrument?

Yeah, he plays piano. Oh, okay. And so your siblings must be, one of them must be pretty young still. Yeah, my youngest sister is 20. Oh, okay. So how old were you when your mom passed away? Eight. So we were two, four, six, and eight.

Oh, my God. That's fucking horrendous. Yeah, it's early. I mean, what happened? She had cancer. I mean, you know. Really? Pretty standard.

She had Hodgkin's lymphoma that I think became breast cancer. It was coupled with breast cancer, but it was Hodgkin's lymphoma. And it happened after she had all of you or she know that she was sick? Right after she had my youngest sister. And I guess she was having like really terrible night sweats and went to the doctor a couple of times and they were like, it's hormones. And then turns out it was cancer. Yeah. But so they must have started pretty young, huh? How old was she when she had you? Like 24 or something? Or 26?

I guess she was 25? Wow. 26? I guess, yeah, 26 maybe. Your age. Oh, I was turning nine like two months later, so she must have been 25 when she had me. And so your memories of her are vague?

I probably have the most memories of her and i only have a handful so like my youngest sister obviously doesn't remember anything uh i think my second youngest sister remembers a tiny bit and then uh you know me like the two older ones me and uh me and my other sister we we have a handful but you know yeah like what like food going to the yeah like shopping for school clothes at walmart and i remember that uh i remember times she got mad at me like that's the thing is all the things you remember from your childhood were either like really really great or really really traumatic so you're like oh remember that time that we you know ate cookie dough in the middle of the night and scrapbooked?

And it's like, remember that time she locked you in the garage? Like it's, you know, there's a real, there's a real difference between all the memories. And they're all very heightened, which is, which is interesting. Do you, do you like, I'm only asking this because I talked to Sean Lennon about it. Do you like, I'm only asking this because I talked to Sean Lennon about it. Do you sort of, and he brought it up, that the memories he does have of his father that are his own, he really like almost like nurtures them. Like he holds on to them and makes sure that they don't fade. Yes.

I think so too. You do? Yeah. I mean, I will catch myself sometimes going, ooh, I don't remember what her voice sounds like. I need to watch an old video or something. Wow. You know? Yeah.

Because you just start to forget. There are videos though. There are some videos. Yeah. Oh, that's good. I mean, not like, you know, if I had kids, what they would have now. I mean. Right.

Right. It's the best time to have a dead mom right now. You can go through their Instagram. I don't know. Anyone's thinking that, but maybe that's true maybe they should comfort themselves but uh but yeah no there's like home movies and she kept a lot of like scrapbooks and my youngest sister found um her journals she kept a journal from the time your mom did yeah from the time she's like in third grade up until she got pregnant with me. And so we found like a box of those maybe six years ago.

Is it all sort of any sordid things? I mean, you know, there's one where she got married. She was dating and then got married to my dad. Yeah. And then got pregnant with me and they were not planning to get pregnant. Oh, wow. So it's interesting to read your mom being like, I just were, you know, he's worried about it and he can't hear about it yet.

And I feel like, you know, a pregnant teenager in high school, like. Oh, she hadn't told him? No, she had. I think she, he knew, but he was like so stressed out that he was kind of like, look, just don't tell me right now. Like tell me in a few days or something. Based on what I read. I think they were very stressed out when they got pregnant with me. Wow.

That's sort of an interesting insight into any parent, whether dead or not, to see that private dialogue with herself, between herself, right? And I don't know that he read them. I know he asked to,

but I don't think he actually read them. We all burned through them, of course. Yeah. Are you guys keeping them from him? You know, we have them. Okay. I mean, again, I gave him the college one at one point, but I just don't think he ever read it. I don't think I would want to.

If my spouse passed away, I don't think I'd want to read their diary from any part of our marriage. Not that she said anything terrible. But, you know, I just, thinking from my own perspective, I'm like, I don't know that I even want to change it. Maybe because I keep, I've kept journals, so I know what I've written, and I'm like, I don't want to. Well, yeah, I think we're, I mean, it is, I guess, I don't know, I don't keep journals,

but it's relative to the type of person you are. Some of us are, the only time I journaled, you know, compulsively was during uh my second divorce you know just to keep my sanity yeah you know but there was a lot of like dark thoughts going on then and a lot of fucking and would you want anyone to read that no but i've i'm pretty open about a lot of it i went through it you know because when you write a journal and you get through whatever you're journaling, you're kind of like,

I bet you that stuff's pretty amazing. Right. And then you go read it. You're like, Holy fuck, this is sad. But when you first write it, you're like,

I should publish this. This is, this is deep shit. And it's just you repeating things day to day. It's crazy. I just put the date and scribbled real hard on this page. That's nuts. Didn't write much this day, but I showed up for it to say I'm not feeling like writing.

Well, what was the what do you as you get older and you have some hindsight and you definitely talk about in your stand up? I mean, what what do you think the major effect it's had on you personally is? What do you think the major effect it's had on you personally is? Oh, I mean, I think you are always trying to impress somebody who no longer exists. Like my biggest fear growing up is that my mom would not have liked me if she got to know me. And there's no way to find out if she would have or not. I mean, you assume that she would have. Sure.

Or she would have at least pretended to. Right. Long enough for you to eventually change into something she could yes she would have at least loved me out of obligation right until you know my brand became something she could get on board with uh but that's why like if family members of mine from that side of the family you know watch my stand up and say things about you know we're very proud of you i'm like thank you so much it feels like getting some of that from her that I never got. And, you know, every good thing that happens in your life,

there's a little voice in the back of your head going, oh, here's another thing that they're never going to see. Oh, you hear that. You feel that. Yeah. So the absence never kind of goes away. I don't think so. It's active.

Active absence. Yeah. I said that to my grandma grandma who's my mom's mother um a couple years ago i was just like when i i'm like i just want to stop dealing with this like when am i going to be past this because i would feel like i feel good about that like i that's a thing that happened to me but it doesn't control my life and i don't think about it every single day and i'm fine and then you know there'd be one year that I thought about it every day and it felt like it was affecting everything and and she said you know I don't think we're ever going to I think it's just always going to be

there in the back of your head and it's always going to be something that we are dealing with a little bit but you know we're fine and we're all good and happy. And I think she has definitely fielded a lot of questions for me and my sisters about her over the years. And she is seemingly, to me, like the most at peace with it, which is incredible to me because I can't imagine losing a child. I mean, I've never even had a child, but I can't imagine that. And your father, it sounds like whatever grief he was going through, however he handled it, he was still there for you guys. Yeah, I think so. I mean, he it's funny. We've talked more recently about that period of time, which is helpful because it we were so young we didn't really know exactly what he was going through i think for him he had four daughters yeah and he

was suddenly by himself and he was like well i can't stop like i have to just keep going like he told me once he was like i remember like the first day i took you guys to school because it happened like the week before we went back to school. Yeah. And he's like, I got you guys all to school. And I came home and I like laid down for a minute. And I just thought, okay, I can't, I can't just lay here. Like if I. Yeah.

Like I have to just get up and clean and go to work. And like, I have to keep moving. Yeah. And did for us in a huge way. And obviously, you know, met my now mom, my stepmom. And really, I think he kind of pushed it down for a long time. Because he had a deal. Because he had a deal.

And in a way was already mourning while she was sick. Because, I mean, we knew she was going. And she's fading. And he's taking care of her for a year and just watching you know your little person you love like you're watching them die slowly and in your head you're preparing yeah so i mean it wasn't like she passed and he goes oh now we start mourning like he'd already been there yeah but you guys were just hanging on to hope i imagine like, like kids do. He told me and my sister, who's closest to me in age, so when we were six and eight, he was like, mom's not going to make it, basically, and they gave her a month or so.

So I remember him telling us that. Do you remember how you responded? I just remember not feeling like it was real. Right, right. Which I think even after she died, I felt that way. Sure, right. I can see that. Yeah, because you're so young, you're like, this is a movie i'm a disney princess right yeah this doesn't happen

yeah to this to me i mean that's how i think people respond with anything as final and dire like even like this pandemic most people are like come on yeah you know it's like what i mean you know i'm guilty of it we're all guilty of it it's like how bad is it really and, it's like, what? I mean, you know, I'm guilty of it. We're all guilty of it. It's like, how bad is it really? And now it's like, it's bad. Yeah. It's bad. Oh, my best friend from childhood was calling me in like early February. She's like, I'm really concerned about this coronavirus thing.

And I was like, it's the flu kills people every year. It's fine. Yeah, that one. Yeah. Not this quickly. I know. Not all at once. Cut to a month later, I'm calling her like, you guys are stocked up for how long?

What else should I get? Do you guys have a gun yet? Like just, you know, totally on board now. I was like, I am so sorry. I told you this wasn't a big deal. She's like, it's okay. Do you have a gun yet? So where does Jesus play into all this sadness and cancer and your upbringing? Because I know you really do talk about Christianity in a way that, you know, I've talked to other

Christians that grew up where it was a huge part of their life, might be the biggest part of their life. And you talk like one of those people. Yeah, it was. It definitely was. I mean, I started doing stand up in churches, you know. But how did it play into, you know, dealing with the grief when you were a kid or your dad's grief i mean i mean that work i feel like it was a source of comfort for my entire family i feel like that's how people in my family

deal with tragedy they you know turn to god and they trust god and that was definitely how i tried to deal with it as well but i I remember like the second my mom died, I remember thinking, everyone keeps talking about how we're going to see her again. And I don't know why I don't feel that way. Because everyone older and smarter than me is telling me that that's what's going to happen. So it must be what's going to happen. But I don't, I've never felt like that. I've never felt like, oh, we're just going to, we're going to die and we'll all be together again and it'll be fine. Yeah, I need more detail.

Yeah. never felt like oh we're just gonna we're gonna die and we'll all be together again and it'll be fine yeah i need more detail yeah you know like uh like i'm not i wasn't christian obviously and i'm not a big believer in in much but like even to have an idea like what do we so we're gonna see them but do we is are we gonna have a place to hang out right how are they gonna recognize people who only met you when you were younger yeah yeah i mean is it uh are they going to meet us there at the place yeah are they waiting for it like do they know the rendezvous point right right a lot of details how big is heaven yeah because these are neighborhoods that coincide with our neighborhood is everyone going to be there i don don't know. But, oh, so you had at least doubts about the afterlife at that age. You felt that.

Yeah, I think so. And for a while, I just kind of blindly was like, no, this is the thing. What brand of Christianity? I don't even know. Was it like, was it born again-y kind of or like new Christian? I just think like whatever Christianity is where you had like kind of like a slightly hot worship leader leading the band. Where it was kind of like, we're a cool church. You know, like that kind of thing.

Yeah, so sort of the new Christianity. Yeah, I think so. That being said, you know, my dad is like very, very conservative. It was like the Bible is a textbook. Right, right. But he doesn't identify as a Methodist, a Baptist, a Unitarian. my dad is like very very conservative and was like the bible is a textbook so right right but he you know but he doesn't identify as a methodist a baptist a unitarian no or a catholic it's uh you know it's christian christian yeah i don't i think technically the church we grew up when we were young was baptist and then maybe the one we grew up in it's christiany and it's uh all-encompassing

yes yes absolutely and the pastor was uh bordering on sort of charismatic self-help and you know yeah definitely definitely charismatic like oh you could have been an actor maybe that kind of situation yeah yeah uh you know i got the hustle yeah i mean it is a performance every weekend. You got to recognize a fellow live performer. So at that age, like, so when did you start? Like, did you go to, was there a Christian school? I didn't go to a Christian school. I mean, Temecula is a pretty conservative Christian suburban area.

How old were you when you went down there? Nine. Oh, so he, like, he got remarried within a year? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And they met shortly after my mom passed away. So he needed somebody. But did you innately dislike her or question her?

No, I think I was excited about it because you're still in that sort of fantastical place of like, I get to be in a wedding and I'm nine and I'm going to have a new mom and everything will be fixed. And it was tough for a few years. It was an adjustment and, uh, she and I did not get along for a little while. And then I think at a certain point we kind of had it out. And my dad said like, you guys have different love languages. And she just is not a very like touchy feely person. Um, she's very much like acts of service and uh you know she'll she'll think about you in other ways she'll be like oh i bought you flip-flops because they broke at the beach and that's like her way of hugging you sure and we were used to being hugged like we went from

like a stay-at-home mom to uh a a very like successful uh hard-working like realtor mom who had a lot of money when we married her and then all of a sudden had like five people in her house like she went from being completely autonomous to you are now in a family of six overnight which is i mean it's a lot oh it's so much she didn't have kids she didn't have kids and they didn't have any more no she can't have kids which is probably good because we have enough of them. There's enough kids. Yeah, four kids is enough.

But they're still together and it worked out and she raised you to a degree? Mm-hmm, yeah. She and my dad are so compatible. It's like made it hard to date as an adult sometimes where I go, oh, how does anyone find someone like that? Like they are genuinely best friends they work together they hang out all the time and they are like on each other's team no matter what and uh your dad's a realtor now yeah so they're like they're together all the time and

they're the best couple i've ever seen well that. Yeah. So when did shit start to go south with you and your faith? I mean. But I mean, but like, cause you say, you know, I know it's part of your story that you started doing standup in church, but I mean, so you're going to church every Sunday and is there like a weekly school type of deal too? Or is there? No. No, no.

It wasn't. We just went to public school. We weren't in like Christian school or anything. But there's no Sunday school or that kind of shit, whatever. Yeah, I mean Sunday, that's just church on Sunday is when you're in middle school, high school. So tell me what compelled you to stand up.

Were you a stand up fan when you were, because you started, how old were you when you first started in stand up? 16. That's a little freakish. Usually people who start when they're 16, they get paraded

by the industry as like, look at this 16-year-old do stand-up. They have 10 minutes and then they disappear because they couldn't write. Right.

Well, thank God I started in churches where nobody was watching you. That's how it works. How old were you when your dad and yourself took that class?

16. Oh, that was it? Yeah, yeah. And whose class was it? Yeah, yeah. And whose class was it? This Christian comic named Nazareth was teaching it. A Christian comic with one name and it's Nazareth? Yeah. How big is the Christian comedy scene?

It's not very big. There's not a ton. Is it just Nazareth? No, I would say maybe there's like 10. 10 guys and ladies that I... Now, I think I've seen some of that, but I mean, how much of it was Christian-based? I mean, is it just... Oh, a lot.

Mine wasn't. I never did the church. But it's not just about being clean or respecting family values. It's, you know, Jesus is in it? Yeah. Yeah. No shit. Because they're performing in exclusively churches. So, of course, you're going to.

So they're sanctioned. They're valid. They're like they're okayed by the church. So it almost becomes an extension of Jesus education. Yeah. I mean, there was certainly part of the class where he was like, here's how you know if it's appropriate to end your set with an altar call. There's some of that in there.

What's an altar call? It's when you basically do the whole prayer of like, if you're here tonight and you're feeling God move in your heart, come up to the front and we'll pray with you and we'll get you saved. That was a potential closer for a Christian comment. If you're bombing altar call yeah always go to the altar call you can't lose yeah yeah i think i think once i started uh doing stand-up in clubs and and meeting people that i just wasn't exposed to in you know my very conservative sheltered childhood tell me about like these other Christian comics. So I imagine how long were you in that world of doing Christian comedy?

16 to what? For like a couple of years or? Couple years where it was mostly that. Yeah, but then I was doing the occasional church show still up until I was 22, up until like four years ago. Okay, so tell me some of, I'd like to know how faith fits into to some of their jokes i guess i could just go online and look but like for yourself

what kind of jokes were you doing at that time that you would would call specifically christian jokes i didn't have any i was very much like i just want to be clean i don't want to do any jokes about church but it makes sense why these guys have so many jokes about church in their act because they're only performing in church and they're getting paid and they're getting paid a lot so it's part of the hustle right and everybody in that church goes to church obviously so that's so are they there you know they they're like the extra added thing on a sunday or does the church say like it's Saturday night, comedy night, Saturday night, comedy. So there's a whole circuit. Yeah. And these, these guys rake it in because you know, they got a built in audience. Yeah. But then you got to

make sure that you are not making any mistakes. That world is so strict in a way that, you know, the, the secular world is not like you can get canceled as a church comedian for even just having sex. Within that community. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, and it is, you know, it's like you are kind of, you're not just a comedian coming into a church. You're coming in going, I'm the thing that you want. Right. Like I'm, you know.

I'm a good Christian. Pure and I'm a good Christian and I have all these values and some people who perform in churches are absolutely, totally authentically that and there are some people who, you know, I suspect may not be.

And for me, when I, I did Last Comic Standing when I was 20, 21 and they were like, we want to do a backstory on you about being a Christian comic. And I was like, I really don't want to be billed as a Christian comic. I was like, I'd really prefer not to be. And they were like, no, totally.

We get it. We're just going to say you started in one and we'll film you in one. And it's your backstory. And then, of course, it comes out and it's edited. Like, I'm the only Christian comic here. And they were like, oh, all right. Oh, really? That happened?

Yeah, that happened. And then I did maybe another year of well you had to church gigs yeah because you're staying alive money and uh and then at a certain point when did you start getting paid to do churches yeah oh i mean like so early like the first few months like they were letting you do like 15 minutes in front of 500 people and you'd been on stage less than 15 times so that was sort of that's how you got your chops yeah i mean i think i definitely um like you didn't have to do like an open mic thing no i mean i did open mics in san diego uh once i was 18 and i could. Right, but I mean, but that was, but you already had, you already had bits. Yeah, I had bits and I was comfortable on stage. Right, because you had all this experience

with the churches. So that's what I'm saying is that you paid some pretty, it was a gift to be able to, in some ways to, I guess you had limitations, right? So you could only write within a context. You can only express yourself to a certain degree. But as long as you stayed in that lane, you had access to these huge audiences. Yes.

So you could really figure out where and how to get laughs just on a basic level. Yes, absolutely. Formalize. just on a basic level. Yes, absolutely. Formalize. But at a certain point, you go, I don't want to be under this sort of scrutiny for my whole life where I am being fired

from a church gig because I tweeted something with innuendo in it. Yeah, that was the last church gig I had where I was opening for a big Christian comic. Which one? I don't know if i should say i mean you could figure it out if you're not saying anything bad about him that's true i'm not i mean they fired me but i don't blame them um i was opening for uh for tim hawkins who's like a huge christian

comedian and uh i tweeted uh a joke that was like sexual innuendo that i ended up doing on conan a few years later but uh it i remember his tour manager called me and was just like, hey, like we think you're great and you know that, but like we think it would just be best if we took you off the spring tour dates. Because like we have kids in our audience and, you know, we do songs on YouTube about homeschooling and whatnot. Like we just, we have to think about our audience and we can't have, you know, we can't be like

endorsing somebody. So you lost a few gigs. Yeah. Yeah. And at that point I've never been fired from anything. Right. So. You were 20?

No, at that point I was 20, 21 or 22. Uh-huh. And I remember I talked to my manager and I was like, hey, like I just can't do any more churches ever again. And it took a few more times of them going, but it's this much money. I'm like, you can't even tell me how much money it is. Like, I can't do it anymore because I feel like I am tricking these people. I feel like I am going into these spaces unsure of what I believe.

And maybe I want to start swearing occasionally in a comedy club, which up until that point I hadn't been. which up until that point I hadn't been but I'm like if I accidentally say something on stage and a video goes up and they get sent a video of me saying asshole like I don't want to worry about getting the rest of my life yeah like this is blackballed from the only work I'm getting yeah and there were things I wanted to talk about like darker subjects and and whatever else like I was in clubs like I didn't want to have to be watching every move i made and every word i said uh did this coincide with the crisis of faith or were you over that before i think it was i think it was kind of all the same time and i think when you are um in that world and your family is all in that world you want to hold on to it as long as you can yeah so it was

definitely a few years of me going i'm just not going to think about that right now right but i i don't know how i feel about it and maybe i'm still doing that to a certain extent but but what i believe in god or just the nature of the faith you were brought up in i think belief in god i mean i'm i'm in a place now where i just i can't wrap my head around anybody going, I figured it out what happens. I know exactly what happens. It's right here. It's written down. Right.

So we can all just calm down. We know exactly what's coming. Because for me, I'm like, but nobody actually knows. And you talk to devout Christians and they're like, but I know. Right. But you don't though. Right. No, no, no.

I know. And you're like, this is, I can't, I can't talk to you. Right. You know, like. Yeah, no changing their mind. Yeah, but there are some Christians who are like, yeah, we don't know. And you should, you know, search I can't, I can't talk to you. No changing their mind. Yeah. But there are some Christians who are like, yeah, we don't know.

And you should, you know, search and doubt and have all those things. But you'll be back. Right. Yes, exactly. That's exactly what it is. We'll see in a little while. Right. So we'll see.

I mean, I like the idea of there being something greater than all of us. Obviously, I grew up with that. In times like these, I'm certainly like, okay, maybe we start praying again. I don't know. So I wouldn't say that I'm like an atheist now or anything by any stretch. So you were 22 when you said no more churches and you did churches from like 16 to 22, basically. So when you were coming up like that, I mean, outside of listening to my podcast, who were the people that were most influencing you and kind of making you know that you were doing the thing you wanted to do? I mean, Pete Holmes' podcast came out a little bit after that. And that was helpful for me to listen to somebody who was also kind of going through like crisis of faith stuff and was a comedian because there wasn't really anybody else that I knew of or to look to as like, oh, they were a Christian and now they're transitioning into just like a comedian, you know? Right.

So that was helpful. I mean, I opened for Brian Regan for a few years. Really? Yeah. He has like a group of people who use and I was Brian Regan for a few years. Uh, really? Yeah. He has like a group of people who use, and I was in that rotation for a little while. Yeah. He just,

he just found me on YouTube. So ran, it took me like a couple gigs to be like, Hey, where'd you, how did you find out? So you're doing big rooms. Yeah.

And then like, I was featuring. You, you started doing like arenas. I mean, yeah. In theaters. Yeah.

And that was, yeah, i guess that was fairly that was like 20 21 22 like but your first gigs like it's like when you started you're like 500 people is not unusual right yes doing open mics was much harder you're like there's five people here and they all hate me and themselves they're all friends of the next guy. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So, oh, so you did on and off stuff with Reagan for a long time and he's certainly great to watch.

Oh my gosh. Craftsman. Amazing. And like the nicest person and, you know, introduces himself to everybody at the theater and it's just like very humble and personable. And yeah.

And then I featured for Bert on the road for a little while before i started headlining yeah so uh and you really you can't open for like two more different acts than reagan and burt shirt on shirt off right uh so i i feel like i was really lucky and then i got to i got to you know do like a cold 20 minutes super clean in a theater and then the next weekend go you know do 25 for like a rowdy comedy club sold out audience yeah but where were you putting your stuff together how were you building was it all on the road or were you going to mike's did you have a home club here because like i would have known you if you were at the store but you're not at this i was not at the store i only got passed at the store like a year and a half ago but i i was passed everywhere else so i was the factory and the improv yeah the factory was the first place i think that passed me and like you know ice house and improv and comedy magic like

i was passed everywhere else so for me i was like why would i when you were 21 like 22 yeah so by the time i was doing development so i was like why would i like kind of leave the night open for six minutes yeah who cares right when you can do 15 to 20 and try some shit for a real audience yeah and I was kind of like all right I'll if I get successful enough maybe he'll pass so now did you get passed out all these places you know how did you get in front of these people how'd they find find you how do you have good management no I just got put on like independently booked shows. Oh, okay. And then, you know, like Jamie happened to be there that Wednesday night and saw me and was like, you can call in. And like I got passed at the factory before last comic.

And then I think everywhere else was either right before or around that time. Because they could see you were like, you know, you were congealed. Certainly helped. Yeah. You were like, you know, you're congealed. Certainly helped, yeah. Yeah, you were tight. Right, yeah. Because I can't imagine how much it really made a difference to be comfortable just stepping on a stage in front of 500 people when you're 16 and having that opportunity over and over again to come to the factory. As daunting as it may be, it's definitely not 500 people no but it's way harder i keep well yeah because they can see you

yeah you know and they're not just sort of blindly supportive because you're a nice christian girl yeah and they're eating and right but i but but you still like you know you put together like a skill set that you must have really kind of landed yeah i mean and your material's good yeah hopefully it all worked out it looks like it is i mean sort of we're all who knows if we can do live shows after this but right but then so after when you were 22 like how much of a difference does last comic standing make for you um i don't know that it made a huge difference for me. I think it was just sort of helpful to have a TV credit, you know, but I also got like I booked like 50 colleges at doing NACA. You did the NACA thing? Yeah, like a few months before.

That's good living for a year. Yes. Yeah. So if you land those schools, you know, which you did, you landed like, like what'd you say 40 or 50 yeah oh so you know that's real work man yeah that's how i went full time yeah yeah yeah and do you still do it not really occasionally i haven't done a college in a while um i i mean i was definitely aware of the fact that i was very young and that was probably part of why i was doing well at colleges yeah because you know you're you're talking about things that they are also experiencing yeah but then you like i was also living with my parents at the time when i first auditioned for

naca yeah and then the next few years i wasn't and i was paying my own bills and once you start paying your own bills and and living in the real, you start to realize like, oh, a lot of these kids at these colleges are freshmen. Like a lot of them are like 17, 18. They're at the show because they can't go off campus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even, I wouldn't even know what, what, what I would do.

Yeah. Like they're kids. Yeah. And they get real uncomfortable with dark jokes or sex jokes or offensive. Like they're very nervous because they haven't been to a live comedy show before. A lot of them. And it's not their fault. Like when people talk about, oh, college kids are so sensitive and they'll cancel you for whatever.

And they just want to be offended for other people. And it's like they just haven't lived that much. It's not their fault. Like a lot of them aren't stand-up comedy fans. They don't know what they feel when they feel it even. Yeah. And a lot of them are, you're doing, you're there the first week of school and none of these kids know each other.

Yeah. Like this is. That's a tough gig. Yeah. So I kind of felt like I phased out of it and was starting to go, I don't know what to say. I guess what I'm trying to figure out, like, so you shot the special, what, six months ago? Yeah, November.

Because I'm just trying to figure out, because, like, the set is so expansive and so tight that you definitely weren't putting that set together in 20-minute increments. No, no, no. I was headlining. Yeah. Yeah. So when did that start? That probably started was i 22 uh-huh maybe 22 22 it all kind of happened around the same time when you were

opening for burt and yeah yeah i was featuring for burt uh for i don't know maybe like four months or something it wasn't that long of a a time before I kind of started headlining. I think I did Conan and Just for Laughs and got a development deal all the same year. And that was when I was starting to headline. That's interesting. They barely give out development deals anymore. Who was that with? ABC.

Oh. Yeah. And what was the pitch? I mean, we had all these meetings at networks after JFL, and I went in. Is that when you started with Levity? Yeah, like a year before that. Okay. I guess I should explain that.

I don't know if I've explained that before. So Levity is Hartman's company, right? I'm explaining it to my listeners, which I rarely do. And Levity is, I think Hartman is part of the group that owns most of the improvs. So there's a line in there, right? Yeah. Right. So a lot of Levity clients run through the improvs two, three, maybe four times a year,

you know, across the country. It's a good connection to have to at least get your, not only get your dues paid, but, you know, make a good living. Yes. Okay. So you're meeting with networks. get your uh get you not only get your dues paid but you know make a good living yes okay so so you're meeting with networks and uh i i went in just trying to be kind of funny about my life and and my childhood and at the end they were like we want to make the show and i was like what show and uh they will set you up with a writer. Right. And there were a few different places that we were talking to, and we ended up choosing ABC.

And I loved the people I worked with. And we wrote what they wanted, which was a multicam sitcom. Did you meet a bunch of writers and choose one, that kind of deal? Yeah. They were great. They were amazing. And they really helped me shape it, because I didn't know what I was doing. And what was the angle? You were a Christian comic who was i wasn't a comic i didn't want to be a comic on it

but it was it was just about uh the the idea was that i you know moved in with my sisters and and we were all trying to like figure out who we were apart from this like sheltered upbringing right my parents were characters on the show yeah uh it it you know it was i think we did as good a job as we could have for what it was like that format sure i wasn't super passionate about it yeah i wasn't super passionate about it um but and after that didn't go at abc they were kind of like all right so where else do we can go do it with this network now if you want and I was like I mean just want to go do

some stand up yeah I'm like I was nervous that it would go and I would have to cancel road dates because I was like I'm trying to get good

at headlining like when am I going to have time to do that if we're making a sitcom so in Montreal were you a new face so done with

Christian stuff done with colleges now you're just doing improvs mostly yeah headlining improvs In Montreal, were you a new face? So done with Christian stuff, done with colleges. Now you're just doing improvs. Mostly, yeah. Headlining improvs. And that's where you got real tight, real solid. Got the length in.

Built it out. Yes. Do the hour 15, no problem. Right, yeah. Got a big closer. I mean, you know, you hope so. Yeah. There was certainly some imposter syndrome when I got the special with Netflix.

I was like, I mean, I submitted the hour because I was headlining and my reps were like, just submit the hour, you know? And I was like, well, just so you know, I'm expecting to get the half hour, if anything, because I had done the 15 with Netflix. And so I was just hoping to get the half hour next. Yeah, yeah. How long between the 15 and the hour? How many years? Like a year and a half, I guess. So you had most of the hour when you did the 15?

Yeah, I had a good chunk of it, for sure. Yeah. And then, you know, the 15, obviously, you retire after it's on Netflix. Right. So that didn't go into it. So now you're the hour person. Yeah. One of them, yeah. And now who are you finding in your audience?

How's your draw? Did it make a big difference? I mean, I only did one road weekend after it came out. But before, though, even, were you like, because I was not a guy that built up up an audience on the road i don't know how many times they were running you through which improvs but were you were you somebody who could sell tickets uh not in any like significant way i don't think like i wasn't like selling out weekends or anything um the the netflix 15 definitely helped um and doing you know a few late night sets and whatnot that stuff definitely uh was helpful and i was seeing people come out and come up to me afterward like we've been following you

since this or we saw your netflix or we saw you on last comic right um there were people that were coming out specifically to see me but it was not most of the audience right yeah and i still don't know uh that's kind of the the interesting thing about right now is you know normally at this point i would yeah i could go out and see i did one weekend two days after the special came out and people were coming out from that already which was nice and then the pressure's already on so So you got a whole new hour? Yeah. So when you shot the special, you were sitting on what? 40? 30? That I wasn't using?

Yeah. Yeah, I was sitting on maybe like 20 that I felt like I could have put in and didn't. And then you have all the other stuff you're working on. Right. So you were able to start folding it out, kind of like making it bigger, adding the shit. So you have at least an hour. In six months, you put it together. Yeah. From what like making it bigger adding the shit so you have a at least an hour in six months you put it together yeah from what you didn't use to the new shit yeah working it no i was like oh i should take a i should take a vacation after i filmed this and

everyone's like no you need a new hour i'm like oh okay let's get back on the road well i well the way i did it was like i knew that I've been working that hour that for like a year or two, like letting that stuff kind of simmer and start to come together and form. And like, you can really see it. You know, I can see it in the work, in the hour 20 or the hour, what is it?

73 minutes, 74 minutes, or hour 15. What'd you do, Hour 13, hour 10. No, I think it's an hour right on the dot. Yeah. I was afraid to do any more or any less. I always push it. I'm like, what's the most I can do? And they're like, like 73. I'm like, okay, I'll do 73. Cause like I'm touring, I'm doing like an hour 45. Right. So I got to make that into 73. So now I've got like a half hour or so but I always lose shit but by the time I did the special I just wanted to make sure I

had made enough money off of that hour that I knew I was gonna like I like after I taped it I went out and did another part of the tour just because I knew come like two weeks ago it's over yes so I'm like I had these months and I'm like why don't we

let me go make some more money off of oh that's a good point after this off of this hour right do you know what i mean i'm like i built it it's really good and there's a bunch of cities we didn't do let's just fucking knock a few out so i did another nine or ten dates just uh just that hour yeah yeah yeah see that's i didn't think to do that because i was i had i mean i'd been doing some of those jokes a really long time and some of them i had been doing you know a few months but it sounds like you were working a lot yeah right oh yeah like every weekend you didn't think that once you taped it you didn't do any more sets or you didn't do any more full hours i i never did that hour again i did i was in uh royal oak

doing comedy castle detroit yeah like a week after maybe maybe a week and a half after we we filmed it and i did maybe maybe like 40 of that hour yeah yeah and then from that weekend on i tried to do as little as possible. But there was only places I could go were places I hadn't gone with it. Right. You know, because there have been different forms of it. But I always make sure I do, if I'm headlining, I always make sure I'll do at least an hour and a half, hour 45. Because I don't really know what people have seen or what they haven't seen.

I'm not that tight about it until it's in the can. You know, so there's a year and a half there where I'm like did i do this last time i was here i can't remember the fucking last time i was here so it's a little tricky do you have do you have like one opener yeah i only use one open yeah and how much time do they do you have 20 okay so it's like two hour show sure yeah yeah yeah so if they've seen part of it it's like oh so you saw 30 minutes right right of two hours but you know people were dicky right you know like it happened in england and it pissed me off so much i don't know if i'm ever going to go there again really like i went back and i was still working out shit and that that set evolved so much over the year you know

that it was a different set and there was more and i knew i'd been there with some of that set and i did another 45 to 50 on top of stuff that was so different than they'd first seen it and one woman complained and I'm like fuck that country like it was that like that was my response because that because you know it could happen and you don't want to be that guy that repeats himself I don't want to be that guy but I took the gig it was my own fault but i also knew i had another 50 minutes yeah so like you know they're gonna get double the show well and if you would come in and only done the 50 minutes yeah she wouldn't have complained that's which isn't that crazy you're like i gave you twice as much show yeah no no you get to look at me twice as long yeah no it was just uh too much for her to bear that i guess i shouldn't punish the entire country

no i mean Maybe none of us are going anywhere ever again. I know. I was about to say, I'm like, yeah, we might never get to go to England, any of us. It could happen.

I don't know. What do you think? Really? Because, yeah, do you think... Well, I'm dumb. I think that, you know, I don't know how long it'll take,

but I imagine we'll get through this. Yeah. But, you know, how hard is it going to be to travel? What restrictions are going to be permanently in place in some sort of authoritarian way because they've already got them up and working because of this thing? I don't know. Yeah. Are you worried about people being able to, like, come to a theater and watch a live performance of any kind? Well, I mean, if this plays out like other things, I mean, like, you know, there's going to be a lot of tragedy and horror and sick people and deaths.

But I assume if they don't shut down science, they'll figure out a vaccine or a process. Right. And, you know, these things seem to have they kind of run their their course usually eventually. Yeah. You know, I would assume that that would happen. Yeah. But I don't know, you know, everything's so out of balance. Who knows? Yeah. You know, I just know that like, I'm glad this new special was sort and things that have, you know, kind of been part of what I talk about. I've got closure on them. Right. So you're like, if that's the last thing I did, I'm good with it.

Exactly. That's a nice place to be. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to die. Right. But, you know. Oh, I wasn't even thinking dying. I just meant if stand-up is no longer a job.

I'm okay. Yeah, you're good. I did it if stand-up is no longer a job. I'm okay. Yeah, you're good. I did it. I really feel that proud of that special. Yeah, you're interviewing Leonardo DiCaprio now. You don't even need to interview comedians anymore. I'd much rather interview comedians. I wouldn't say that thing with Brad Pitt and Leo was not a traditional WTF.

I mean, did you ever listen back to it? Like, Brad Pitt watched my show how many times? I know, three times. Well, I knew that because I'd run into him in weird places. I had an art show once, and then it's some benefit that I did. And he had told me both times that he'd watched it. And I didn't know that it totaled out on three. I think the deeper story around that was that he was going through a difficult time

and that he was trying to get sober and other things. And that somehow comforted in him my insanity. So you saved Brad Pitt. A little bit. Is what you're saying. I think I helped. I hope he's still saved. I don't know.

But I do think I provided a service. Yeah. Not unlike for you from what you say. I helped you understand that there was a career trajectory that you could engage in because these other people did it. Yeah. Like when you listen to WTF, who were some of the people where you're like, oh. Oh, gosh. I mean, I was trying to remember. I almost went back, but you've got to, so far back on Stitcher to see who

the first ones were. So I don't know. But back when you first started, it was like every episode was a standup comedian. So I mean, you know, there would be people who popped up where I'm like, oh my God, Kathleen Madigan or whatever, you know? And hearing them talk to you for an hour was so much more informative than like even listening to their standup. Oh, of course.

Because, you know, you're not going to learn just you can only learn style from watching stand-up exactly yeah and even like i i've learned who a lot of people were by watching last comic standing when i was a kid so listening to those people talk in on a long-form podcast is is so much more helpful than watching them you know do a talking head on a reality show. Or even on Conan. Yeah. To hear me and Bamford in a car.

Yes. Oh my God. Yes. Her talking about her morbid thought syndrome. Yes. Yeah. It's helpful. Look at these are weird people and I'm weird.

Yeah. So I can do it. So your dad didn't, he didn't continue with the standup after he took the class. No, no, no, no. Yeah. It was just a fun thing for us to do for six weeks. I think he did one. We did a show in a hotel once after we took the class,

and that was the only time I think he ever did stand-up. Not for him, huh? He wasn't cut out for it? No, I don't think he had any desire to do it as a career. Why would he? He's got a full life and a hot wife and a great career why would he throw it all away but you're good with them that's good because like you know i'm not sure that's exactly clear and you're good with your dad he's good with your work um i wouldn't say he's good with my work i think that they are, I think that they're proud of me. It's been an interesting adjustment over the last few years because I did kind of tell them, like, I am not clean anymore.

Yeah. But there's a difference between I am not clean anymore and seeing it on television. You literally said to your parents, like, I'm dirty. Basically, yeah. I was like, I swear. Like, I have some jokes that are, you know, I just, to warn you. basically yeah i was like i swear like i have some jokes that are you know i just to warn you and i mean they haven't seen me perform the only times they've seen me perform live in the last four years is opening for regan and yeah and then they saw me on the tonight show the first time i

did it and with jimmy and then a week after you know the netflix 15 came out and they watched it and didn't contact me for a little bit so because that was the only dirty one yeah that was the first that was like the first tv thing that was uh that was i was swearing in it i it's not even really racy it really isn't it's like pretty clean i think i said like two swear words but now you're pretty like you know you you explore sexual ideas, sexual experience, love. I mean, you do talk about the things that are ridiculous about being brought up Christian. So you don't really know.

It's not a great feeling at home. I mean, I kind of told them beforehand, like, I think my dad watched my last Conan and didn't say anything about it. That's a worse-up. Yeah, I know. And then I said something. Well, I told him I was going to be on Conan, and he just, like, anything about it. And then I, that's the worst. Yeah, I know. And then I said something, well, I told him I was going to be on Conan and he just like changed the subject.

And I was like, all right. And then I talked to him like a month after I did it. And I said something like, yeah, I don't know if you saw that. And he goes, I did.

I didn't like it. And I said, you know, you don't have to watch my standup. Like it, it won't hurt my feelings. If, if I weren't your daughter,

you wouldn't watch me. Like I'm not for you, you know? So it's, I had to kind of watch me. Like, I'm not for you. You know, so it's, I had to kind of separate that. Like, of course, you want your parents to approve of everything you do. But you also get to a point where you're like, if I saw a couple their age from, you know, a suburban area like they are from walk out of one of my shows, would it keep me up at night? No, probably not. So once I came to that, I was like, you guys don't have to watch it. It's fine.

And I don't know if they watched a special. I assume they probably did. I ran all the jokes about my dad past him before I filmed it. And how'd that go? He said he really appreciated it. And that it meant a lot to him that I did it. I also wasn't like, is that okay? You didn't ask him that.

I didn't ask him that. But I said, these are the jokes about you. This is how I say them. You know, I didn't send him a video because maybe, I don't know, maybe that would have felt less personal. But I'm like, these are the bits exactly as I say them. Because I didn't want friends of his to quote jokes about him back to him after my special came out and him to like not know what they were talking about or have a game of telephone, you know, happen where they butcher one of my bits. And it's like, you see that bit about Taylor hating you? And it was like, what? So that was kind of what I was trying to make sure didn't happen. You left your stepmom out of it.

No, there are no jokes about her in the special. Yeah. It's interesting what you choose to do. I have some issues with that, and I've been incredibly hard on my parents in my stand-up over the years. Do you run those jokes past them before? Yeah, well, fuck no. I was going to ask. So they just kind of see it when it comes out?

The only time I've been really hard on my dad've done I've done the jokes in front of them. Yeah. I'm fortunate in that my dad can take a certain amount of abuse. He just likes the attention. Right. When I wrote a book, there was some stuff in there that really fucked with him and it got it got bad. And, you know, he was mad at me for a long time and wanted compensation even. Whoa.

Yeah, it got heavy. But this last hour, there was one or two lines in there about my mother where I'm like, oh, man, is it worth it? See, that's the fucked up thing is that, like, it really comes down to, like, you know, who am I? How much of this is my story? You know, this is my fucking freedom. You know, can I handle doing this and live with it? Yes. And most of the time I'm like, yeah.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, like, you know, I think my mom, she was like, this special, she was like, I even put up with the things you said about me. But she didn't like the Mike Pence bit. She didn't like that last bit. Really? But not because she has any.

She took more issue with that than the bits about her is what you're saying. For sure, yeah. I think it was just how dirty it was. Right. You know, and my mom's no prude. But I mean, that thing's a little gnarly. Yeah. You know.

It's a Mike Pence aristocrats bit. It is it is it is kind someone else compared it to that i guess it is that how far can this go yeah um but yeah but but i've made a lot of choices about that in in relationships and stuff but i think it's really about is it fair right yes yeah i think i i had a joke that i was doing about something my grandma told me about herself um that i was doing on the road and before i filmed the special i i ran it by her and she laughed and then two days later she texted me and was like i can't stop thinking about that i kind of it makes me sound like this and i i don't love that and i was like it's gone yeah it's totally gone yeah because that was something that she told me about her right it had

nothing to do with me it wasn't something she said to me that hurt me you know it was her story so that i was like of course i'm not gonna yeah that's an interesting thing yeah but with my dad you know with the joke i do about telling him i was suicidal and him saying go ahead and kill yourself yeah i'm like no that's something that I've done like EMDR therapy on like that's that's mine yeah I get to do a bit about it and yeah you got right yeah I get to feel better about it and I also you did that I did yes he did that yes yeah and I also get to cushion it as much as I think is appropriate which I did do because I can't imagine being a parent and everything you ever did, every mistake you ever made is now being, you know, aired out

on a major streaming platform. Right. I can't imagine that. So I did try to cushion it with, you know, my parents are great and they did their best and, you know, not and nobody's parents are perfect and all that. But, you know, that joke, as funny as it is and how proud of it I am, came from a very real place of excruciating pain for years and years and was something I worked through in very extensive therapy.

So I felt like I earned that. Yeah, no, I agree. There is that line, though, where there I agree. It's a very, there is that line though where there's some stuff that's told you, like, you know, my mom, like I've read emails from my, or texts from my mother on stage

because I just can't not do it. Yeah. And that's kind of wrong. Right. Because in some ways, you know, that's like a thing. Well, I guess that's not the same example,

but like if they tell you something about themselves, you know, that's like a thing. Well, I guess that's not the same example. But like if they tell you something about themselves, you know, that's their trip. You know what I mean? You got to be like, yeah, it's funny. But like, yeah, I mean, it was told to me in confidence or it's their story or whatever. That's a different decision than my mother with her emojis. I mean, I think that's fair game. Right. Yeah.

You sort of explain that sort of like you want to make it clear that they did the best they could. I used to do a joke about like, you know, when they say that to you, they didn't. There's no way. I mean, if you really think about it, how is that the best? It's almost like they didn't even know what the fuck they were doing. They were winging it. Yeah. But I think that's what they mean when they say I did my best. You go, you did you did what you knew to do. And maybe you didn't know that much. You did what you knew to do and maybe you didn't know that much at that point. I guess, but I don't even know. Yeah, but there was no – the attention paid was not like, you know, how do we do this right?

It's sort of like, well, how do I fit this into my life? I've got shit I got to do. Right. There's got to be a way just to keep these fucking kids from driving me crazy. Right. It's not even a noble attempt. Yeah. They didn't do the best at anything.

They just like – they did what they could. Yes, exactly. Exactly. That's all it is. Some parents are better than others. Yeah. But okay. But so somehow or another, this thing doesn't add this weight to your relationship with them that's not good.

Oh, it does. It comes and goes. I think that weight um you know we still haven't talked about my special like isn't that fucked up though like my see like it's weird that the thing i don't get is that like you know to me there should not be any problem like to me it's like you're a success you You've done something challenging. You're being rewarded for it. And you're good at it. And you're unique.

And you tell us. All those things should sort of override them being personally embarrassed. Right. Right. Because that's really what it comes down to. It's not like, you know, it's not some sort of judgment a christian judgment not christian or this or that it's like they're embarrassed that you're you know either you're talking about them that way or that you're like who you are publicly yeah because they can't control that so that that's the problem she's out there making noise about us. Yeah. Yeah. It's exactly that. And it's,

you know, I did, I did a joke about my dad, uh, you know, not thinking like gay people should be allowed to get married on Conan like four years ago or whatever. And,

uh, ran it past him beforehand. And he was like, that's funny. That's fine. And then like two days after he was like, you know, never talk about me on stage again.

And we had to like talk, have a talk about it. All of a sudden, like the gay people in his life, if there are any, were like, you monster. I don't know. I don't know if anyone even, I was like, did people say something to you? He's like, no, but it just, it's not, you know.

I don't want people to know that I'm that person. No, I don't think it's that. I think he was, I guess, understandably upset that I was making fun of his beliefs. And he was like, why am I being, you know, raked across the coals for my beliefs? And I was just like, I just think you are wrong. I was like, I don't know what to tell you. Like, I think you are wrong about that and in a moral way.

And so that was kind of probably a turning point a little bit for me where I'm like, just don't watch my stuff. Right. Because you can't reconcile with that. It's like you said, like we said earlier, when you talk to one of those type of Christians, they're not going to change. Absolutely. And like, again, I've never had kids. I don't know what that feels like to just have them out in the world making noise, as you said, and not having any control over that. Not having any platform to be like actually this is how it went down like your side is not even a part of it which is why i feel like i have to be so careful you know trying to kind of balance it when i do make jokes about them um

i don't know i think you should shift your disposition to more of like you had it coming you had it coming starting now i will yeah you know i get you're you're upset but yeah you got you had it come on no i mean i really again as someone who has dated comedians i'm like i think that's good i think it's good for comedians to date other comedians just so they know how it feels to be talked about on stage uh you know in a personal way i mean obviously we are more understanding of it because you think do you think you're just as sensitive as maybe your mom would be i think we're all sensitive but what we've learned as comedians is to sort of suck it up and just like build a callus or get some sort of, you know, chronic kind of mild PTSD around, you know, what we can and can't take. You know, I just think that there's an open, I do the thing about dating comedians are living in this community where there really is no

boundaries around ideas. It's an amazing place to live and and it's an amazing uh community of people but you know there's no kind of moral precedence that you know when we're alone that we're not gonna fuck with and stuff right right so so there's a lot out in the open there but yeah i i get like my the ones i was involved with or it was really just the one i would never do it again um but you know just speaking publicly if someone you're with speaks publicly about you i'm with someone now who you know talks about she's a public person she's a director but i always sort of like i'm always like oh do you have to that's yeah that's a little private isn't it but like what am i what am I going to say? Yeah. Oh, you especially.

Right. I'm in no position going, could you not maybe talk about what I do when I'm crying by myself? This is off the record. Like you have to do that during fights almost. I'm about to say something, but I don't want it to come out in interviews. Yeah. Which my parents have said that to me during that and please don't do a bit about this and i'm like how would you even think

i could and then as the longer i've done this i'm like oh i understand yeah they assume that everything is like you're gonna someone said that to me at a funeral once a neighbor's husband died and we went to his funeral and she came up to us crying we're like we're so sorry and she goes you're not gonna put this in your thing i was like why would i do that maybe i would yeah you know there's no angle yet but if i stumble across one i'll it's possible i'll run it by you first well it's like they're at least they're thinking bigger because like i hate those people that you meet once or you have one encounter with you're like don't don't say anything on stage like who the fuck are you you think you matter to me enough the people who want you to talk about them on stage

you never end up talking about but it's been good for me uh just on that on that front of dating comics occasionally of like oh this is what it feels like okay maybe i should be aware of that with people in my life yeah yeah no i empathy is tricky you know in this game because you know so it's like this is my life too and you know i own this but it's it's i think there is sort of in order to do the type of comedy that you know pushes the envelope a little bit at least personally there is a sort of lack of empathy i i wouldn't say it's sociopathic but i do think it's selfish oh absolutely i mean once i break up with you i'm gonna say whatever i want like if i'm in a relationship with you and you want to veto a bit, I may let you do that. But if once we break up,

you know, you've got to just trust that I'm a good enough person not to air something. I'll tell the truth. Right. But even that's going to hurt a little bit. Right. Look at you. Well,

I was, I was engaged last year. Right. But I may do jokes about it in the special. Yeah. And we were like deciding deciding i was kind of deciding if i was going to stay with this person while preparing for this special yeah and you know it was in my pettier moments it's it's hard to know what is allowed to make jokes about and i was like

i'm not going to do any jokes about him in the special and then the new hour has more jokes about him um and our relationship and again you you start off very like petty and you know sometimes you just go off on stage and people stop laughing and you go okay those were just feelings and i'm sorry about that but that's good though because i don't think i mean because i do it the same way i mean you obviously generate on stage a lot right yeah but then you once you hone it yeah yeah and it becomes a little classier of course but but when the feelings are raw they're raw i mean i did a whole show like about my ex-wife when she left me it was horrible and i took most i shouldered most of the burden but

then i got you know i've i've done some pretty awful jokes in in anger and i don't like i listen to some of that stuff on the cds I'm like, I don't regret it. But it wasn't professional. Yeah. Yeah. Because like there even if you're like me and, you know, you sort of like, hey, man, it's hit or miss. I'm an acquired taste. I'm not here to entertain everybody, whatever.

There is a line where I'm sort of like I was that was just like raw as fuck. Yeah. And like it's part of the process, but it shouldn't be the finished product. Yes. Well, and with the internet now, everybody can look up who you're talking about. If you've posted with them. Right, right, right. I mean, you know, my ex-fiance was not like a comedian or performer or anything.

But like if you Google my name and fiance, like you could probably figure it out. Yeah, yeah. Everyone's got a little something out there. Yeah, and so, you know. A LinkedIn profile, this poor guy. Yeah, exactly. But if you date somebody who's a public figure, you know, you got to kind of be aware of that, I think.

Yes. But that's a possibility. You know, it's all out there for everybody. They can get at us. Yeah, it's so scary. It's weird. But that's why you share too much, you know, up front. So you for everybody. They can get at us. Yeah. It's so scary. It's weird. But that's why you share too much, you know, up front. So you go, I already told you that.

I do that naturally, but there have been moments where I'm like, but see, the thing is, nobody listens to everything you do. So if somebody comes at you with something, you're going to be like, excuse me, if we could just go back four years ago to podcast number 804, it's pretty clear that I own that shit. Yeah. I can't believe everyone didn't know that, the opening monologue of that podcast. Right, right. Robert Kelly episode.

No one listened to that? You're late, dude. Well, that was always the assumption, too, before I, you know, even now now even like the Indian talking about these new hours every year is that there's this weird assumption that everybody has heard everything we've done I mean obviously it's more possible with Netflix like before I would put out a CD and I'm like that's it for that hour I'm like no one bought that CD no one is listening to that CD I mean you're throwing I threw away like five hours of material wow only because you because, you know, like, I already did it. And I don't feel bad about that.

But the more I realize, like, there's a lot of good shit there that no one will ever hear. Right. Ever. There's like four or five CDs worth of shit that's like, it's out there. And it was great, I think. But I can't do it again because I'm too proud or fucking, you know, I've got this idea. But your fans can and will find it. I wonder.

Like that album that, like the album that I did during the separation, Final Engagement, that was, that's one of the, there was a trilogy. There was Not Sold Out, Still Tickets Available, and Final Engagement. Right. And Final Engagement is like dark, fucking brokenhearted, angry shit. And it's like two hours of it. And it's really, it's a rare, and every once in a while,

someone will text me like, that's the one that really helped me. Louis Katz was going through a fucking breakup. He's like, I've been listening to that one. It's been really helpful. That's amazing. See, that's what I'm saying. People can find it.

It's not like only the people who bought that at the funny bone between 1990, whatever. Like, you know, you can go online and find all that and your fans do that. And once people find you, you know. They might want to go down the rabbit hole. Yeah, of course. Everyone's binging now.

When I find somebody I've never heard of and they have a lot of stuff that you can go through. I'll do that with a musician. Yes, exactly. I can do it with everything. Right, I mean, with comedians, we wouldn't do that. I just had that moment where just like sitting at that table after a half-filled gig with your CDs. Yay.

And they're like, thanks. Wait, where are you going? They just nod at you and like pump the features hand like you were great. That's the fucking worst. Really liked your stuff. Hey. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Cool. like you were great that's the fucking worst yeah really liked your stuff hey yeah yeah yeah you're thanking them for coming they're like you're welcome but why do we feel that i mean that hurts that stings a little and but you know it's just part of the gig yeah that that your feature is going to hand it to you one or maybe once a week yeah and you featured so you remember

people saying that to you right right and then you start head, and you featured, so you remember people saying that to you. Right, right. And then you start headlining and you go, oh, that actually didn't mean anything when people said that to me because I was doing 20 minutes instead of an hour. Right, right, right. So of course, you remember them as being better. Great, yeah.

It was a lifetime ago. It's 18 minutes, man. Yeah. I was up there for an hour 10, hour 15. His 18 was good? Come on. Who can't do 18?, man. Yeah. I was up there for an hour 10, hour 15. His 18 was good? Come on. Who can't do 18? You can do 18.

Well, it's the same thing as that woman complaining that she had heard things in your hour and a half. And you're like, I guess I should have done 50. Yeah, you fucking fucker. I went back and forth with her, too. Really? Well, she emailed me through the website. Oh, my God. And it's a nerve with me.

You know, like, i didn't want to i knew i went back too soon yeah and so she got it she struck the nerve and i was like i hate when they get you well great job i think we've covered it everybody's okay good about it good man and we're and we stayed at a distance we're gonna take a picture now from a distance yep so we don't get any backlash. Exactly. Because I'm posting pics of people that I recorded weeks ago. I saw that. And people are like, what's going on?

Yeah. It's a while ago. It's before everything changed. We thought you were woke, Mark. Nope. Nope. He's touching people. He's out there touching people. Good talking to you. Thank you. out there touching people. Good talking to you. Thank you.

There you go. Taylor Tomlinson. I like her. Funny special. Go watch it. It's called Quarter Life Crisis. It's up there on the Netflix. And her and her boyfriend, Sam, do a thing.

Sam Morrell, who'll be on the show Thursday. I think it's on YouTube. Is it on the show Thursday. I think it's on YouTube. Is it on YouTube or Instagram? I think it's on YouTube. You'll find it. Maybe she mentioned it. I think she might have mentioned it. Anyway, look.

And now I will play some music that's slightly reminiscent of Neil Young because I'm playing sort of the same guitar he is. Maybe some more chords, but then I change it. All right. Okay. Thank you. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 so ¶¶ Boomer lives. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those. Moose? No. But moose head? Yes.

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