WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 1132 - Amber Preston / J-L Cauvin

Episode Date: June 18, 2020

It's been five years since President Obama joined Marc in the garage and WTF is marking the occasion not with Donald Trump, but with comedian J-L Cauvin, who talks to Marc about his Trump impression going viral and reinvigorating his standup career. Then Marc talks with comic Amber Preston who, like J-L, held down a day job in Corporate America while her career in comedy took shape. Amber and Marc talk about North Dakota, Scandinavians, having Dead Head parents, and trying to shake her Fargo mindset of rule-following and passive aggression. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Alright, let's do this. How are you, what the fuckers? What the fuck buddies? What the fuck nicks? What the fucksters? What's happening? Sorry, i just knocked the mic i knocked it and i i'm trying to have a good tone about this because i really i don't want to get to the point where i'm bumming people out where they're like is marin still fucking sad i am i am sad but i'm finding little nuggets of okayness here and there like no matter how far

this shit goes down the uh the toilet in the world i i can still sit on my porch and pretend like things are okay but monkey is definitely winding down like today i just said i earlier today before i recorded this, I got, you know, he's kind of like stashing himself in a weird place, not a good sign, but I got him out, and he got on my chest, and he just laid there, and I literally cried, and told my cat I loved him, and that we have a lot of good memories, him and that we have a lot of good memories and we do that's the fucked up thing man by the way uh amber preston the comedian who uh i met in the midwest i believe in minneapolis used to open for me here and there will be on the show also jl covan who does a pretty startlingly funny, if it's even possible, Trump impression. I'm going to talk to him for a few minutes as well.

But it's strange. It's not that I have – I guess a lot of people have pictures of their children growing up. And I have pictures of my cat, but not really growing up. But I've been through so many different lives. I've been through so many different lives i've been through so many lives and i got these cats in fucking 2004 right in the summer so the the original crew of the five i've you know the two lafondan monkey Monkey, ended up having this amazing life and being out here. But what Monkey has been through with me is insane. I can mark the time with Monkey.

I know when I finally brought him back, I got him to the house in Highland Park in Los Angeles. And I remember I left him there and I had to go back to New York. And I was married to Mishna at the time and she couldn't find Monkey. And then apparently he just stuck his head out of the chimney vent. He had climbed up in there. But I can mark the times in my life. He's been with me for 16 years. And I have a hard time marking the times in my life with people I've been with

or relationships I've had or phases phases and you know different levels of depression breakup insanity and monkey was there he was there I don't want to do a premature obituary I'm just trying to steal myself again I'm trying to steal myself I connected with him he felt the love it's a fucking cat I know but it's it's it's monkey he's the fate my favorite one and just realizing that the two things that i've really let myself love in a very deep way maybe ever you know i'm going to lose you know fairly close to each other maybe some miracle will happen and monkey will persist and keep living but i don't know he's acting weird he's fucking old as fuck he's drinking a lot of water he's still eating he's still purring he's still coming around still taking his medicine going to the bathroom he's not throwing up no diarrhea no fucking um

i don't know i don't know i just know he's drinking a lot of water and he's looking a little loopy looking a little skinny but that's the thing man it's like you know he doesn't know it but i know it i can look at my life with that cat he's been through all of it i just remember when i was so sad i had to go back to new york to take the job to end the divorce to the money, to stop the hemorrhaging. That was devastating, man. That was devastating. And this is devastating, what I'm in now.

I guess somehow maybe it prepared me. You know, me taking all these risks by not staying with people or making the compromises necessary or being a fucking asshole or just having a tragic thing happen. I guess I'm somewhat have been through some shit, it seems, in this life. Now, I'm that guy. But I just remember I didn't know what to do. I had to go back to new york and i was lonely and i actually loaded monkey up and brought him back to new york with me i left lafonda here with some other cats fat moxie and uh boomer i took monkey back and me and monkey did like a year

in new york together and came back like that was the relationship I had with this fucking cat. And I guess he's hanging on. I'm hanging on. I, you know, it's like, it really is something, this grief business. That sort of the fear of forgetting is powerful. Like I've taken it upon myself. I have Lynn's jacket and hat and boots sort of near the door. And I don't, I finished a Joan Didion book, by the way, people recommend books. And again, people have been great, still being great.

A lot of love goes out to, uh, Tom Sharpling, Sam Lipsight, Jerry Stahl, Brandon McDonald. People have been showing up for me. Steve Danziger, Michaela Watkins. I'm giving shout outs to the people that are stopping me from falling into a pit of fucking darkness. Self-pity maybe. I've avoided the self-pity.

A woman in Austin who's a psychotherapist, Stephanie, she said that Joan Didion practiced, there's a difference between, and I don't know that I read this in the book, but there's a difference between self-pity and self-sorrow. The book is great, The Year of Magical Thinking. I'm happy I read it. I don't know if i read it too soon or not but i guess the point is to keep her in my heart to keep her my i have her jacket there

and i walk in sometimes i'll just touch it and then i'll get a flash and then i'll look at the hat and i'll get a flash of her being in those things and her face and her energy in that moment. Oh. Fuck this, man. Fuck this. Wow. Someday I'll stop crying in front of my neighbors. I went over to Dan's house. Had a socially distanced little cookout there. from gimme gimme records his wife jen the acupuncturist the needle lady just sitting around out back listening to records

eating nice food but here's the fucking thing look folks i i still need you know a little bit of a reality check sometimes i yeah i got there and i brought some pickled onions that i made and you know it was still light out and everyone showed up and came and we ate and we talked for like a couple of hours it got dark out and i get like two and a half hours in gotta go to the bathroom and uh you know it's emotional conversations some light conversations but it's just nice to hang out with people they're good people everyone's good folks and i go into the house go to the bathroom and i look in the mirror i got my fucking sunglasses on i mean i was sitting there in the

dark with four people that i know pretty well outdoors wearing my fucking sunglasses now i get it i guess you know they were thinking like i guess he's really sad or this is his thing now and this is how he grieves but wouldn't it like like if i were sitting with me i'd be like what's this affected fuck doing i get he's sad but i mean you're among friends take your glasses off no one said nothing and i walked out i'm like what do you think i am some sort of asshole no one's gonna tell me I'm wearing sunglasses for the last three hours? I didn't know. But, I mean, it's not really on them, but it's interesting how polite people are.

I guess that's politeness. I mean, what were they afraid of? I guess, like, would I have said something? Hey, Marin, is it too sunny out here for you? It's fucking nighttime. I mean, what? Go fuck yourself, man. I'm sad.

I'm fucking sad. I guess that's what they were afraid of. Do you know, do you really need to wear sunglasses? It's dark now. Look, man, my eyes have been crying for a month, man. I don't want to show them. No, I'm just an idiot. I'm a dumb old man.

Didn't know I had sunglasses on. Grief is twisting me up. Twisting me up, making me look like a pompous celebrity. Out back at night wearing sunglasses. So, look, it's been, it'll be five years actually tomorrow. It'll be five years, actually, tomorrow, June 19th, that I spoke to then-President Barack Obama. Incredible conversation, which is always available at WTFpod.com or on Stitcher Premium, wherever you listen. And now it's five years later, and no, okay, we're definitely not having donald trump on the show that hasn't happened though there is a secret agreement not so secret i'm telling you between brendan and i that if

because we don't really do politicians but we do presidents we would have to indulge him if uh if he were to play by the same rules that uh barack obama did president barack obama but he will not so i saw this guy maybe you've seen him on twitter jl covan and he doesn't look like trump in any way he doesn't really put on any makeup other than a hat occasionally but he does a fucking great Trump and sometimes he'll riff out as Trump and I and it just it kind of kills me uh like for instance here's a little bit of uh him doing Trump happy earth day it's a beautiful day we love earth it's you know know, it's a great planet and we're taking unbelievable care of it because, as you know, I want the cleanest air and the strongest, cleanest water. So it's a very important day and we're doing great things for the environment,

a lot more than anybody else has done. So believe me, we're doing a lot more than you ever did. I can tell you that. I can tell you that much. But am I a fan of Mother Nature? No, no. Mother Nature, as you know, is a very nasty woman. Okay. Mother Business, we like. We like Mother Business.

She's strong. She wears the stiletto heels. We love the stilettos. Very powerful, very sleek, very sexy Mother Business. But Mother Nature is like kind of dumpy okay and she's very nasty she's always saying very very lib anti-trump things okay so no we don't like mother nature that was um jl covan doing uh our current fucking nightmare of a president and uh so i wanted to talk to him a bit because he's been doing comedy a while you can listen to his podcast which is called making podcasts great again he's got a new album

out with his trump material it's called fireside craps the deuce and it's available now on itunes and amazon uh and i just wanted to get a sense of who he is. So this is me talking to J.L. Covan. Covan. What kind of name is that? French. My father was Haitian, so my mother was Irish. That's why I look the way I do. Interesting.

Yeah. So have you been doing this a lot of places? The impression I've been doing, like in 2016, I had a couple sort of private gigs. And I was closing my sets with it, like at stand-up clubs. Yeah. But then just basically was relegated to sort of YouTube. It never took off the way I kind of thought it should have. Everybody else seemed to have a Trump that was taking off.

And then, you know, I work also as an attorney and I was home working from home bored. And I've been doing a couple of these just Trump videos on my phone because I know the voice is good. I know I have it down. And I figured, eh, let's see how these go. And a couple got, you know, 10,000 views on Twitter, which is nice, but it's not like it doesn't make a mark or anything. And then I had one a month and a half ago get 7 million views. And that sort of totally shifted sort of my online presence. And thinking my career was basically over, I'm now like, hey, I think I might have just gotten a career again. Yeah, you think?

So you're an attorney? Yeah. I started doing standup in law school in 2003 and then worked for the DA's office, worked for a firm, got laid off in 09 during the financial crisis and sort of featured full time for like four years. And then all my money disappeared. And then I had to go back to doing part-time legal work because i hadn't given up on the idea of like i've got a breakthrough at some point i don't know if you remember i'd done like the last internet viral thing i had i did an impression of louis ck back in 20 was that you all dressed as louis yeah oh yeah yeah i remember that yeah it was funny right yeah so that that was me and like i've had these up and down years and i was like a guest on corolla frequently and then

i had my stuff played on espn radio but it was never enough to be like, okay, now I can get back into trying full time. And last year I basically took a full time job at a law firm, moved out of the city. I'm from New York city, but I now live in Jersey, moved out of the city for the first time, you know, at 40. Yeah. It was kind of like, I'll keep doing comedy, but i don't know if it can be my priority anymore so okay so wait so you were closing with the trump in 2016 and then you did a bunch of it on youtube

and then what i like uh what the third one you did recently got seven million uh yeah it's up it's at like 6.8 million on twitter and like two and a half million on youtube and then what does that mean does that then who reaches out to you? What happens? Well, there's been, I mean, a lot of people reach out with writing suggestions. They send me emails saying, why don't you try this and I'll skip. But, you know, some people,

celebrities have reached out to me. The only people, let me put it this way, the only people who haven't reached out to me are agents and managers. So once again, my career still seems like locked in place, but it's been a lot. I mean, everybody but people who can maybe give me a career have reached out and told me how great I am. Like I did Howard Stern. You did.

I think I'm doing it again next week. It's been like having seven years of my career jammed into one month. But it's still even that, though, you know, doing radio bits doesn't give you money. Exactly. And it's also weird, because it's like now everybody wants to hear the Trump and I'm like, I have been doing stand up comedy for over 16 years. And I'm very good, in my opinion. So it's like, I'm in this place now where I want to capitalize and make money and get my name out there, but also not have it become you're that guy. And that's all. And then say anything else. And they're like, well, nobody wants to hear that. That's tricky, man. So, uh, but, but so your act is not impression based.

No, it, it, when I started out, um, it was,, like, oh, four or five or six. That's really a lot of what I did. And then, you know, as you know, you just you live a little and you want to talk about other things and your voice develops as a stand up comic. So then, like, for six or seven years, I would close with an Obama bit. But that was the only impression in my set. I had a lot of impressions on YouTube. I kind of wanted to keep them separate. And then I've been closing with a Trump for the last three years. But like, that's the only impression in the set. I had a lot of impressions on YouTube, but I kind of wanted to keep them separate.

And then I've been closing with a Trump for the last three years. But like, that's the only impression in the set. What other impressions did you used to do? I mean, there's I used to I mean, of course, the hacky ones early on Arnold Schwarzenegger, De Niro, I had a good Owen Wilson. And then started developing like I had the Louis CK, George Lopez, some friends really like my Greg Giraldo impression, which is a little bit of a comedian, you know, is especially meaningful. And now I have like I have like a Joel Osteen impression video. Oh, yeah. I've got a decent number of hits. And I don't know if you know who this is.

John Bernthal, the guy who played like the Punisher. Yeah, I've interviewed him. Oh, great. I have I have a really good one of him that I'm probably going to mix with Trump in the next week or two. So there's like a whole range. But the thing is that Trump has sort of dominated for monetary and cultural reasons. So it's become almost like a role. Instead of being one of many impressions I do, it's almost become like my main role over the last couple of years.

Well, I think it's an important role. The weird thing is that, you know, my, uh, Brendan mentioned to me was that it's so close and so possible that, you know, it's, it's barely a, a farce, you know? Right. No, I, I end up trying to just go, um, cause I have the way I think I've gotten it good. Also the voice was good, but I do a weekly show as Trump. And that's sort of like loose improv every week as Trump. And that sort of has made me really good at just sort of I'm more anticipating where he's going to be six months from now versus like this could never happen. It's more like I did a thing on my show where he was making fun of Shinzo Abe, like and doing a bad Asian stereotype accent. Right. Your friends of mine were like, dude,

that was like pushing it. And I go, well, that's what he would do. Right. And then like six months later, it comes out that in private, he's been making fun of like Asian leaders accents. And I go, I can't be held accountable for being offensive if I'm merely predicting the behavior of this offensive person. Right. So it's more about keeping ahead of him than like trying to outdo him. Right. So what, what, which,

what, what's the podcast you're doing or just a YouTube show? Oh no, it's, it's making podcasts great again is the weekly podcast. So that's like just to, you know, it's,

it's really, it's, it's really, it's, it's very fun and we've developed kind of a nice following for it. Um, and it's, it's, you know, like people will hear things and contact me like six months later.

Like, can you believe what Trump said? Didn't you say that last year on the show? That's hilarious. It's fun and scary. So what does it take to get into Trump? Do you just drop into it? Yeah.

It's, I mean, at this point into it yeah it's i mean at this point um it's the mindset is very easy and then it's just you kind of lower the voice and you kind of you know then and there's different trumps there's like i'm meeting with mark mehren right now and it's like we're having like a good discussion i'm doing my like my 60 minutes voice yeah we're doing good things. Yeah. You know, but if you're a reporter, especially like a black woman reporter, it's like, excuse me, you're nasty. Okay, you're right that you're very, no, you're a nasty woman. That's why you got fired. No, not you, you. And then the rally Trump is like the biggest, which is just the

what do we think about Joe Biden isn't sleepy Joe, isn't he like the word? Right there, my African American, you know what I'm talking about? He he like the word? Right there, my African American, you know what I'm talking about? He's like the sleepiest guy. He's so sleepy. He's like falling asleep. He's like not able to stay awake. That's what they say when you're sleepy. They say you can't stay awake. It's like, I know all the words to sleeping. It's like a beautiful thing. Yeah. So it's nice to see you laugh, but's uh yeah it's a whole range and at this point i credit sort of cnn i think it was bad for democracy but i credit them with never like going to commercial for three years while he's on tv because it was just this

almost by osmosis at that point that the impression just kept getting better and more nuanced and now because you know like he's actually improvising much more now uh yeah you know great jazz artist yeah something i mean with these two hour long briefings you know they i have not watched one in its entirety and i i know that they usually cut away from them but they've got to be just, have you listened to any of the two hour briefings in their entirety? I have. And I feel a little guilty about it because part of me says, Hey, it's kind of like research. I want to know if there's something he said, something kooky, but at the same time, I don't even care what he says because I just have to one up it anyway. Right. And they're really, they're really bad. They're like I've turned some of them

off because I'm just like these are these are ego strokes for him. He can't do his rallies. So he gets to go out there and yell at, you know, women and liberals. But you do see you do see how his brain works. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. It's because what I've said to people, whenever somebody says to me like Trump is very smart, he's a very smart guy or or he has good instincts. I go, my dog has good instincts, too. If there's a steak on the table, she'll probably figure out how to nudge a chair over the table, jump on the chair and get the steak. It doesn't mean she can go to college and read books. It's just she is very focused on using her particular skills. And his instinct is instinct is a combination of ego stroke and self preservation. So all you have to do, I've said the impression, because I do a lot of meandering

as him. And that's something that people really like the going off topic and finding your way back. It's, it's a choose your own adventure book when you're doing a Trump impression. But the choice is always what makes Trump feel happy. So if he says a word, if he goes, you know, we're having a it's called tele teleconference. OK, a lot of people are doing this. Don't you like that word teleconference? Like he's impressed with the fact that he said the word. So now let's go off on a little side adventure on how great that word is, because I said it. Yeah. And then we'll come back and go. But it's a great thing. And we're doing great, great work for the people. You, you, you, you next.

Yeah. He, that thing, the Nabisco riff was, that's the one that killed me. Oh, thank you. Yeah. The ventilator, the Nabisco. Yeah. Making Nabisco. They're making our ventilators now.

So we're going to very strong Nabisco. They're one of our great companies. Is that the one that got all the hits? No, no. The first, I mean, that did well, too. But the big one was actually the one I thought was not as good. You never know what's going to hit. It was about him wanting to reopen the country on Easter.

And that was way too soon. So the joke that it became, the tangent was, oh, Easter, like God only brought back his son on Easter Sunday. And that, to be honest, is kind of biased because he's only bringing back his own son. Who wouldn't want to bring back their own son? I'm going to bring back the whole economy. We're going to have a pay-per-view event where it's God versus Trump and who brings back more people on Easter Sunday. It's going to be a beautiful thing. So now what kind of law practice are you involved with?

Do they know that you do the, the Trump? They, they do. It's, it's, I'm a staff attorney. I'd rather not say where, but it's basically, you're sort of, you're paid pretty well to do sort of the stuff that the legal profession requires lawyers to do, but not much beyond that. Like I often say, I sometimes say, you're like the fluffers of a law firm. You like get stuff ready at the lowest level, but you're not one of the stars and you're not doing the real meat and potatoes work. And

they do know, they know I was upfront because I didn't want to have a thing where it's like, they discover six months later and go, oh, you need to leave. So I figured rather tell them upfront. And then when the Trump video blew up, we were all working remotely. And like, I had a secretary email me, I had a coworker email me. They're like, my aunt just sent me your video. And I'm like, oh, that's how I knew it's gotten big when people who didn't even know me are getting me from their distant relatives. Well, as a lawyer, it's kind of interesting. The methodology of this particular president is that if you sue somebody, that means it'll get, you know, you've got time to out, you know, kind of outpace it. Oh, yeah, no, his, exactly. Trump uses lawsuits, not even

in pursuit of money or certainly not in pursuit of justice, but as like a delay tactic. Yeah. Until he can like get flown to a non-extradition country yeah let's see i have no idea what's going to happen after but like what is the well that's the other odd thing is i it seems like sadly uh given that your career is starting to take a turn and you got this record out and you've got the podcast that you know there you have something invested in trump it's sort of like you know va, Vaughn meter, you know, after JFK was killed, it was kind of over in a sad story for that guy. But, but, uh, you know, you could, it seems that even if he doesn't win, God willing, uh, you'll still be able to find a way to parody him. Yeah. And I think, um, I, I joked with somebody before about Vaughn meter.

I said, yeah, I think I had all my Vaughn Meter tragedy and sad sack career before this, instead of at least that's the right direction to do it in. So for me, I've been doing standup almost 17 years. So I know at least my chops are there. If I get the opportunity to showcase more, I know that I will thrive. And with Trump, I'm still conflicted if I'm going to continue doing it and people will think I'm full of shit, I'm still conflicted if I'm going to continue doing it. And people think I'm full of shit, but I am conflicted about continuing it if he wins. I'm much more comfortable continuing it even to a smaller audience if he loses. To mock him, I can do like a, here's what Trump's political commentary is on Biden now that he's out of office. But if he gets reelected, it really does no hyperbole. It says something fundamental about this country's essence, how it picks its leaders. And it's not I don't think it's funny anymore. I think a mistake can be corrected. But but doubling down on it says, structurally and spiritually, this country has has has hit a tipping point. I think, sadly, I feel the same way

and I'm not even doing an impression. Yeah, yeah. The bigger concerns are like, how do we live here if that is the world we're going to be living in? Yeah. And the benefit when you've had a career that's been 15, 16 years of up and down

and disappointments and little successes, I'm at least emotionally very well equipped to have my career fall off another cliff and be like, oh, nobody wants to book me anymore. Oh, so it's just like 2015 and 2017, I guess. But you're also, you're employed, which is good. Yeah, no, no. And of course, but that's, and that's something also that fell into my lap less than a year ago. Like I was doing part-time work for, for like six and a half years. So it's, I didn't always have this,

but I developed the, I guess, coping mechanisms or strategies to be like, all right, get used to the disappointment. And you got, you have kids, no kids,

married, a long time girlfriend and a dog. And you got the, and you got a place in Jersey. Yes. So it's, it's, it's okay.

It's not the way. I certainly didn't think taking three steps back from my comedy career was exactly what was needed for me to become a success. Hey, you and me both, buddy. I mean, but it's really funny and you do a great job. Thanks for talking to us. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. It's winter and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats.

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so again that was um jl covan his podcast making podcasts great again and his album fireside craps the deuce is available and now let's talk to amber preston amber's a nice midwestern lady i always thought she was very funny she opened for me i met her in minneapolis years ago i'm sure we'll discuss that uh her new stand-up album is called uh sparkly pants you can get it wherever you get music and comedy albums and um i like her and we did this in person in real life she got a test to come over to my house should i get tested even though i don't feel any symptoms is that something we need to do once a week if we're going to talk to anybody? Maybe it is. I don't know. All right.

So I'm now going to introduce you to my friend Amber Preston. And we're going to chat right now. What is this album called? Sparkly Parts. Sparkly Parts. First album? First album. What are we, 10 years in now?

12, 15? 12-ish. 12 years in? Yeah. Well, I recorded it years ago and then just sat on it. I don't know if that's a great selling point. Yeah, no, no, don't say that. Imagine how good I am now. But I wasn't doing that material anymore.

And like, poor Dan, I was the one that sat. Dan Schlissel? Yeah, I sat on it. And he was like, come on, come on, come on, come on. Let's do it. Let's do it. I like this book you sent me. Yeah, I think they're just fun.

And some of them you're like, oh, that's- Where'd you get it? We had a copy of that. My dad's a big reader. He's a weirdo. And we had a copy when I was little, and I felt very grown up reading it. He's a weirdo because he's a reader? Well, no, he's just like, to me, that he, as stoic and Scandinavian and closed off as he is, this seems like-

This was the guy, Pete Hine. Hine. What do you know about him? Oh, Crooks. A crook is a short aphoristic poem. This is Crooks 1. Accompanied by an appropriate drawing, revealing in a minimum of words and with a minimum of lines some basic truth about the human condition.

Crooks were created originally during the Nazi occupation of Denmark. They began life as a sort of underground language just out of reach of the understanding of the Germans. They have since become one of the most widely read forms of composition in the Scandinavian and English languages. Yeah, and they're just, some are longer, but, you know, they're just little ditties that you're like, ooh, that's something.

That's deep. So I had a copy, and then now I've since collected. There, I think, are six of them. And did he invent it, Brooks? I think so. I don't know. It was sort of a trend at the time. Now I'm speaking to you as if you're an academic.

Wait, wait, wait. Are you in your study? I'm a historian of Piet Hein. No, it is a little bit. You can get down the rabbit hole, because he was also, he would kind of go head to head with this other Danish like a physicist. Oh, really? Well, I'm very excited about it because it seems to be appropriate for the time we're

living in. I mean. A secret language of truth is all we really need at this point. Short quips that you can take in in moments of panic. Yeah. I'll just start tweeting Grooks. I've been Instagramming them. Content.

That's the content I've been creating. Wait, so is your dad, like, is he really Scandinavian? Well, Norwegian and German, but, you know, North Dakota, I feel like, we're very German, but it is that Scandinavian,

I feel like, closed off. But do you have relatives with accents or are you talking generations? Generations here. My mom's side of the family has some German-Russian, like they have accents. They're in the middle of North Dakota,

like related to Lawrence Welk. Really? Yeah. That's what my grandma says, but I don't. That's the one? Welk is the one? Jews, it's always like Barbra Streisand or they lived across the street from her.

There's some connection. Some, yeah. Well, small town North Dakota, chances are. Welk is the one? Jews, it's always like Barbra Streisand. Or they lived across the street from it. There's some connection. Some, yeah. Well, small town North Dakota, chances are. Welk was there? Yeah, we were. Some Welks? Some Welks. Is that his real last name?

Yeah. Oh, it is. Yeah, my dad, I've been to the farm. Oh, God. It's really great. There's a Lawrence Welk farm. There's a Lawrence Welk farm? Yeah.

But wait, you were brought up in South Dakota? North Dakota, how dare you? Sorry. South Dakota's problematic right now. North Dakota, what are the big differences? We're quiet about our problematic issues. We'll be judging and don't want to- More Scandinavian?

Yeah. And more- And Germans. Lutherans? Oh yeah, I'm Catholic, super Catholic. My family is very, very Catholic. But wait- There's a lot of Lutherans. So North Dakota's your people? Catholic. Oh, yeah, I'm Catholic, super Catholic. My family is very, very Catholic. But wait. There's a lot of Lutherans.

So North Dakota is your people. Yes. And they came down like in the 1800s when they made land available to be farmed by people who knew how to farm horrible land. Right. Wasn't that the deal? I think so. And I think they were like, we can't do any better.

Right. We don't know what to do with this. But you people who live in Scandinavia seems to have figured it out. You seem to not want anything better. Well, no. They knew how to farm that land, I think, was the idea. And the deal was they would be given a property if they could make it useful. Do something with it.

Yeah. Yeah. My mom said they were Germans that fled to Russia and then came from Russia. Right. I mean, I read there's a book called The Great Plains. The Great Plains. I'll have to read it. By Ian Frazier, which is a sort of like condensed history of the region.

Yeah. And it goes into all that why the Scandinavians came and the Russians came and the Germans. Because it was like a free for all. Right. It's like, we don't have any luck with this. And I think they brought- We tried. Right. I think they brought winter wheat with them. That was like, we don't have any luck with this. And I think they brought- We tried. Right.

I think they brought winter wheat with them. That was like, and they figured it out. But North Dakota, I have no sense of it. Yeah. And they want it that way. They don't want you to know. But was it bleak? What town?

I grew up in Fargo, which is right on the border of Minnesota. And it's a thriving, I dare say, metropolis. I've never been to Fargo. You haven't? No. I swear that... Didn't you with... Oh, with Eugene.

Yeah, I swear that you guys did. Maybe you're right. Maybe you're right. You don't remember. We blocked. They were like... Eugene and Andy. It was an upstairs joint.

It was a small joint. That was the first time I'd seen you when you did it in Minneapolis at the Turf Club. Didn't I have you on? No, then. I didn't know you then. Did I go back to the Turf Club and you opened for me? Where did you open for me first? At the Triple Rock.

Oh, that's another rock bar though, right? Right. You would see me in Aspen and then ask me in Aspen. At Aspen at the non-HBO comedy. Right, right, right, right. The rooftop. The rooftop, yeah. Or the red, what is it? Was comedy. Right, right, right, right. The rooftop. The rooftop, yeah. Or the red, what is it?

Was it rooftop? Rooftop, yeah. Listen, there's a lot of pressure from here as the least successful guest you've ever had. I really had to. That is not true. I can name. Well, don't.

Don't. But thank you. But I felt like I can't even have that. I thought that was going to be. No, I don't think it's true. I think that you're just at a level where you're working, you're solid, you've got the shit. Put out a record years ago that you sat on. That's foresight.

Right. I'm going to hold off on this. I'm going to wait until people have nothing to do. But wait, we need to do some basic stuff here. Because I don't know that, where's Mary Mack from? She's northern Wisconsin, but we met in Minneapolis. Right, but you should not Dakota. I don't know if I've talked to anyone from Dakota.

No. Either Dakota, either Dakota. Yeah, I can't, there's not like a dearth of interesting, famous, a lot of interesting people. But you grew up in Fargo? Grew up in Fargo. But that's like how many, how big a city is that, a million people? No, 100,000. of interesting famous a lot of interesting people but you grew up in fargo grew up in fargo but that's like how many how big a city is that a million people no a hundred thousand well maybe maybe a little more like maybe a hundred thousand and you have brothers and sisters i have a brother

uh who lives in montana with adorable children and like lives off the land and would live off the grid if you could ranch kind of like yeah he like does mason work but like has like you know acres of land and oh it's so nice up there. What are we doing here? Oh, yeah. But I don't know. What's the white supremacist contingent? Well, there's that.

That's, you know, a thing to consider. And then my sister is younger than me. She lives in Chicago. But she just moved there. Like a real city. She just moved there and now she can't leave. And she's not working. Like she just moved there. She, you there and now she can't leave. And she's not working. She just moved there.

She's just bartending. I don't even know if she's getting unemployment because she just got there. Got a big dog and living life. An apartment. But she's got great roommates and they're doing all right. But it's like, yes, I'm leaving Fargo. I'm doing it. Now you can't leave your house.

Yeah. But like, so what do you do in Fargo. I'm doing it. Now you can't leave your house. Yeah. But like, so what do you do in Fargo? Your dad did what? You leave. Yeah, I know. But your dad was- My dad, he's a retired electrician. And then my mom had a few odd jobs when I was little

and then worked in the school system as like a paraprofessional and then worked at the high school. Just regular folks. Regular, hardworking. My dad's a vietnam vet really yeah does he talk about it no he doesn't talk about it sometimes i remember asking him about it when i was little uh as you're learning about it no grasp of anything and uh we also had

a like a silk like kimono that he brought back. That was the artifact? That was the thing. And then we found a box of slides that I got a family gathering. My aunt pulled up and showed. My dad was like, I don't know what's going to be in here. There were pictures of lady tour guides taking him and some guys on a tour in Australia. So he got to see some interesting things. But no like uh in the

shit me and the grunts guys no these are the the squad i was with some of that kind of jazz but then you're maybe like eight years ago i wrote him a letter yeah because i heaven forbid i ask him face to face he's gonna hate this he hates like sharing i'm gonna not tell him yeah he doesn't come to my shows because he like well he comes he comes. I feel like he came to one. He does come. He doesn't like it. Oh, yeah. And he's been to all the shows and he will proudly say, well, I've been to all of them.

I've been to the worst ones even. I'm like, well, okay. Don't you do a joke about it? I'm sure I do. So I wrote him a letter asking him about Vietnam. Recently? About six years ago. And then one day when I was home, on our way out the door, driving back to Minneapolis,

he handed me a notebook and I opened it and he slammed it shut and was like, don't read this now, it's an answer to your letter. And it was like 12 handwritten pages of his experience. Getting there, he was supposed to be a shit burner, was his job. Which means what? Burning the shit. Oh, really? Like getting rid of. That's a job? That's his job. Which means what? Burning the shit. Oh, really? Like getting rid of.

That's a job? That's a job. Yeah. And then the guy who did that. Yeah. I forget. I have to go back and rewrite it. That was going to be his job,

but then the guy who did that wanted to keep that job because he was going to be out in a few months. So then my dad was working on helicopters. So I don't think he really saw too much action because he was like a tiny but he was stationed in vietnam yeah he was in vietnam for a year he left the day before thanksgiving and came back the day after and that was it and that was it which my grandmother tells us every thanksgiving and then he came back and he um he the only thing i remember him saying when we were little is that it was hard to come back because nobody wanted him there and then nobody cared when he got back.

So I think, I would love to know. I think there were some years after that that are party time. Oh yeah? Yeah. I think I talked to somebody else about this once, about the parent who was in Vietnam and then there was some shit that went down

in the years after, But eventually they level off. Yeah. I mean, I think, I mean, what? You go when you're 18. So he's back when he's 20, 19, 20. You see this crazy stuff where you're going to go to school. You're going to get a part-time job. You're going to go back and live with your parents.

Right. Got to blow off some steam. Figure out what you've been through. But it sounds like he didn't get too fucked up. No. Well, if he did, he came back from it. And he came back and met your mom and that was that? Yeah, I guess so.

They were together like eight years before they got, they were like dirty hippies living in sin, as my grandma says, and followed the Grateful Dead. They did? Yeah. Really? Yeah, he's super deadhead. My first concert was Bob Dylan. When you were a little kid? Yeah, sixth grade.

What tour was that? I wonder what year was that? Oh, I have the t-shirt 1990 uh g.e smith was touring with him because i opened the hotel door for g.e smith we were pre-partying yeah and uh well they were they were in the bar and i was in the arcade and uh i saw him come down the stairs and i was like oh my god that's that's the guy from saturday night live yeah yeah he's been around so that was g.e smith that was in the Yeah. Do you remember the concert being good? Yeah.

Yeah, because I thought it was cool because I knew some like, I was like, no, play like the Pillbox Hats. You know, like I knew like some, I thought I knew some B-sides. Yeah, yeah. Like I thought it was. Yeah, yeah. So they were, but were they like, like real hippies? Like they were smoking the weed?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't think they, my my mom i think stopped a long long time ago yeah i don't know if i could say the same about my dad uh but uh yeah they definitely like i've seen pictures from there oh wow and then did they like travel and tour with it i don't think they follow the dead around not as much as that but they definitely like any of their uh former houses there was always many many people it seemed like living there

like in any gathering picture it was like not a lot of clothing a lot of just like people really one of those

funky cigarettes mom you come from dirty hippies a little bit a little bit but now everybody's leveled off

everybody they're good they're grandparents now my mom just retired and you go back to Fargo sometimes yeah yeah but I didn't meet you there no Aspen and then parents now. Oh, wow. My mom just retired. And you go back to Fargo? Sometimes.

Yeah? Yeah. But I didn't meet you there. No. Aspen and then Minneapolis. And then you asked me to open for you in Minneapolis. I met you in Aspen. Yeah. I remember that was really bad altitude sickness for me that time. Yes. Yeah, they had oxygen that day. But it's just like, I usually don't get it that bad. It was just really fucked me up that time

for some reason. Did you get it? Did we go up on a gondola or something? We did go up on a gondola. Who else was on a gondola who else was in that gondola do you remember i do well i my ryan singer no maybe he was there he was there parna uh-huh um tim harmston who was else at that festival oh the the um god's pottery guys wilson and i can't remember the other guys i remember those guys yeah i don't remember them where are they I remember those guys. Yeah. I don't remember them. Where are they from? Are they here? No, they don't do it anymore. They like were a funny like Christian camp counselor songs.

It was a bit. Yeah, yeah. And they I think advanced fairly far on Last Comic Standing. Yeah. Like that. Uh-huh. They had like a crazy two-year run and I don't think that they planned. You know what I mean?

Like that was like this is the bit that we are committed to forever. But I don't think that they'd plan. You know what I mean? Like that was like, this is the bit that we are committed to forever, but I can't speak for them. Yeah, so I met you in Aspen, talked. And then. I hosted because I hosted the show, I think before yours at the big theater. And then you're like, hey you what are you doing next month

i'm like i don't know uh actually i do i was at a going to a festival in asheville and i came back yeah and i was like again uh i felt so cool because i was like oh i gotta i'm gonna leave this festival early i gotta go back and open for Marin on a rock club. No big deal. I remember that rock club gig. We were standing on the floor. Yeah. Slightly raised above. Yeah.

I'm starting to get these weird PTSD from certain gigs. Just sort of like, I did that. You don't have a font? But I did Fargo. It's out of my brain because it was difficult. You know, like I really thought that that tour with Eugene and Andy, like we were just going to like, you know, Eugene was going to pull all these people in and, you know,

and it was going to be great. It was this big idea me and Andy had. And it was just okay. Yeah. It was weird. And it just, I don't know, man. What was it called? Like the anxiety or the apophagy?

Oh, stand-uppity. Stand-uppity, okay. That was Andy's thing. Yeah. Then me and Andy ended up getting in a fight over bullshit and whatever. Did you guys drive to Atlanta? Yeah, we drove the whole thing. Hours and hours.

Yeah. Yeah, I used to say, I used to do a joke about it. Like driving with Andy Kildore. It's like driving with the history of the Jewish people. But so where did you start? In Fargo? No, Minneapolis. You moved to Minneapolis?

I moved to Minneapolis for college. Oh, you did? Left Fargo when I was 18. What college? University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. And got a degree in theater and then did absolutely nothing with it. Is that true? You're a stand-up comic.

What did you do? What kind of theater? Did you get an undergraduate degree for four years? Mm-hmm. Did the acting? I did. Directing? I mean, no, just acting.

Just a little Bachelor of Arts in theater. And then bartended. All acting, though? Yeah. I mean, you had to take other. You had to learn some lights and set and stuff. Respect all the elements. But did you like the acting?

I did, and I still do. And then I just didn't do anything. You start bartending and you're like, oh, I'm making fat cash and partying and smooching boys. And then I got a real job in finance. You did? I did. I worked in corporate America.

I worked for Piper Jaffray. And then the little group I worked with spun out. So I worked for this little venture capital company. Worked in, yeah. For how long? Gosh, maybe eight years. Yeah? Because I started doing stand-up when I worked that job.

I was almost 30. So you're like stuck in this fucking hell job you just you kind of fell into it huh you kind of just like you took theater and then you got a bartender job and then you're like I guess you just this isn't what life is it's like oh no is this is what life I was I think I was more like this this is what life is what bartending no like the like the corporate job I know but you did it yeah i mean you did you know you like it doesn't sound like even there was a break in between you didn't even try the other thing no i didn't and it was i think did it eat you up or you just sort of like

yeah or you're just too fucking out of it i think a little of both like some days you're like what the fuck yeah am i doing right and then other days you're like well you're working hard and you're paying your bills and that's all that that's all that matters right that's that uh that kind of uh scandinavian don't be so showy you gotta you you're making decent money you're starting to save you got that 401k what more could you possibly want but what were you doing like in in finance i was an administrative assistant then executive assistant making travel plans and putting together oh my god and yeah sitting in a cubicle what did you learn uh powerpoint i guess i don't know how to you know how to deal with people i i i liked them all i liked uh yeah they're great people but uh like politically we'll say like I didn't agree with a lot of that.

That shouldn't be in the workplace anyways. Well. Trickled over. How to, you know, yeah. How to, I don't know. Be diplomatic? How to treat an assistant maybe someday. Because they did treat me well, but sometimes like, come on.

I can't believe you did that. I mean, I can believe it, but like it's a nightmare. Yeah. Like, come on. I can't believe you did that. I mean, I can believe it, but like, it's a nightmare. Yeah. And it is like, I, as an adult, have since realized, do you know about the guess and the ask culture?

No, what is that? You're either a guesser or you're an asker. Oh, really? Tell me about it. I wish people could see your face or anything. They're like, no, really? Tell me about it. Hey, I got to bring something interesting to the table. No, I'm serious.

I'm serious. I don't know. I'm curious. You're either a guesser or an asker. I am very much a guesser, and I am trying not to be so much. Ask culture, you brought up that you should always ask the question, but know that the answer could be no. That's a possibility.

Guess culture, you're passive-aggressive. You are learning the fine, you're're like feeling out clues you don't ask unless you're pretty sure the answer is yes so like my husband's an asker i'm a guesser uh-huh and i'm i'm working towards not being so much that way so a guesser is that the same as is this like a codependent thing i'm like a passive aggressive kind of door like a doormat-y kind of. No. Like I wanted to swear, but I was like, that's not nice. You can swear. Come on.

No, you're not a doormat. It's like you're navigating and you're figuring things out. You're picking up subtle clues. I know, but you're sort of, you're speculating and you're not taking a lot of chances. Right. Right. Until you know like you'll take the chance eventually uh-huh maybe maybe maybe but don't as a guesser don't you always assume that the answer is no and that you know you're not going to be good enough or that

you probably shouldn't even bother with it i mean i'm thinking that right now jesus uh but yeah you're like and you're trying to figure it out in that passive-aggressive way. So you're passive-aggressive, you're pretty good at that? Yes, I've gotten better. Better at it or better at not doing it? Better at not doing it, and I can tap into it when I need to, especially you throw in that Fargo. I mean, you can just like, oh, that's neat how you have the walls. Like,

like they can just not, oh, you can just move them. Okay. So you could put them away and clean it up if you wanted to. Oh, well, isn't that nice? I remember working with you just because like, you know, nothing's great. Well, you don't want to get off stage, you know, I'd be like, huh? And you'd be like, it's okay. I don't know, come on. I'm sure, well, here's the real truth. Especially that last run of the theaters, I was probably stuffing my face backstage with treats

that people bring for you. So I was probably like, yeah, it's great. And I meant the cake or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, you don't want anything, you don't want to get too excited about anything. don't want to enjoy anything too much just and you're you're aware of this but like yeah by the time you were aware of it though what was already who you were i think it is it's deep like i catch myself and i'm such a rule follower and like yeah i just and it's it's

a yeah i want to break out of it but i I can't. Like, got to wait for that walk sign. Cannot. Cannot. Cannot cross. This is problematic. Yeah. Yeah. Especially in this.

But you grew up with hippies. Well, yeah. Were they like that? I think so. My mom, I think, is definitely, I guess, culture. And maybe my dad is a little of both. I don't know. Cause I can't,

I think I can communicate. I think I can dabble in both languages. But it's just like, you know, in the house it was like, see, like I can't, if I even fucking think that someone's being passive aggressive with me,

how are we friends? No, I mean, because like I, you know, I know you and you're funny and you're a comic and you know i can break through that shit but i mean like no but like people who like i always assume they're fucking with me anyways i'm already sensitive right so when i get diminished at all like because i think my mom was a little like that everything was it was you know it was always

sort of like why why uh why did you get a b right that kind That kind of shit? Like, is there, it's like you're never quite good enough. Yeah. And I fucking just. I grew up a little bit like that too, but I didn't feel

quite as judgy, but like looking, you were like, nothing's ever great. I feel like that was a little bit of my upbringing too. Like I,

grades came easily to me and I did well in school. Well, that's good. And things, but it was never, and they're very proud of me. I don't want to throw

my parents under the bus. Right, right. And I love them and they're great, but yeah, it't want to throw my parents under the bus and I love them and they're great but yeah it's not like I just had a

you know the album coming out my mom's like oh you were in the newspaper how come read it read the article yeah she's like

oh for the oh that's great oh that's well good we're proud of you how come you know what I mean like that kind of it's the worst

it's always I mean I don't know what, but if they did say like, that was such a good show or man, we're so proud of you for like even doing the littlest thing, I'd be like that doesn't fucking matter. Oh really? You know, I think no one could win. I guess that's true, but like

you know, when it's like growing up and your parents are like, how did somebody get on that other show that you weren't, you know, like how do you maybe you should talk to Bill Maher or somebody. Or you might, my dad, he'd say, he seems to know what he's doing. At least they are. In the world. They want you to achieve something in this industry.

My parents are a little bit like, so do you think you'll, you think you'll stay in Los Angeles? Or are you guys, what about, you don't think you could do that in Minneapolis? I'm like, how many commercials, how many things can I audition for? Why do they want you to come back? Just to be closer. Oh. They love me. I'm like, how many commercials? How many things can I audition for? Why do they want you to come back? Just to be closer. Oh. They love me.

I'm a treasure. Oh, oh. Yeah. Like the idea of living near my parents or having them, I don't know. Usually it has to do with kids. Then see, like, then they'll start bullying you into kids.

Well, we're at the age now where people just are like, oh, did you, like, are you guys going to adopt? Like, they, you know, like, we've missed that. Have you? I think so. How old are you? going to adopt? Like, they, you know, like, we've missed that. Have you? I think so.

How old are you? I'm 40. You could probably get one out. Yeah. I mean, it's Hollywood, so sure. Rich, rich white women have babies in their mid-40s, but I've got two of those. Yeah. You don't think?

No. I mean, I love kids, but I don't, it's, it hasn't happened. It's, you know. Have you just been waiting for it? Are you guessing? I'm just feeling everything out. You know how it's supposed to happen. Not necessarily stopping it. As comic Tim Harmsen says, like, we're not not trying.

I mean, I'm home alone with my husband trapped in quarantine. So things are happening. Right. But. It just never happened. It hasn't happened. And I'm not like. things are happening. Right. But. It just never happened? It hasn't happened. And I'm not like. Not freaking out?

Not freaking out. Is he? No. If he is, he isn't. But he would tell me. Well, yeah. I mean, it seems to be one of those things that people discuss when you do the marriage thing.

Right. You want children. Right. Did you do that? We did. We did. And we were like, they're great. And we love them.

But if it doesn't happen, I think what we have is also great. I, you know, I'm that way as well. I mean, we did. We were like, they're great and we love them. But if it doesn't happen, I think what we have is also great. You know, I'm that way as well. I mean, no, I didn't want them. Yeah, but you did not want them? No, I not wanted them. And, you know, just, but not because I have any, I don't have anything against them. Yeah. But I just was, it just caused me anxiety to just think about having them.

You know, like I'm too anxious and too selfish and too emotionally volatile. Those are all, that's very good reasoning. To be a good parent. But I bet you're a fun uncle sometimes. Yeah, no, I mean, like, yeah, I mean, I think I can fundamentally take care of people, but I just don't trust myself emotionally

and also with like, I'm childish emotionally yeah and i don't want to be that parent that's like you know why is the fucking kid not talking to me right because he's four i don't give a fuck right it's bullshit and that's just four teenagers but now i find myself like on instagram stories a couple of my friends have kids and like i look i watch the kids and i'm like that seems like an ex like they're engaged in exciting life. Well, and like the further it slips away, the more I'm like, oh, shoot. I think my body, I'm just like this whole, you know, everything on the planet says that I, this physical being I am in is supposed to be able to create life. Yeah. Doesn't Ryan do a bit about that?

Maybe. About the moment that guy's about to, you know, come. And, you know, you shouldn't. But everything but the entire history of the species is behind you. It's like, wait, I haven't? Like, what's wrong with my body? Not that I was like, I mean, I wish I'd been more active as a youth, but. You weren't? No.

Again, follow the rules. You can't, no. Oh, because of the Catholic thing. Catholic guilt, man. You weren't? No. Again, follow the rules. You can't... No, I would... Oh, because of the Catholic thing. Catholic guilt, man. You grew up thinking there was a hell? Oh, yeah. And that was wrong.

How's hell holding up for you? I mean, you know... Is it still there? It's like a different place to go. I guess. It's some place that's leaving the house. It's not as scary anymore? Not as scary, yeah.

Do you still believe in it? I don't think so. I don't. I'll wait till my grandparents, all of them are dead before I can start. Oh, really? Yeah, I got three out of,

I got three out of my four grandparents. That's amazing. What are they, like 90? Yeah, 93, 95. We just, I'm very lucky. I actually,

right before lockdown, was in, did a big show at the Fargo Theater and then was in Chicago and then was supposed to do Grand Rapids Fargo Theater and then was in Chicago. And then I was supposed to do Grand Rapids Laugh Fest. It was another place.

It was the first time I did a live WTF. I didn't know what I was doing. It was not funny at all. But, you know, I was there. Who else was on that one? That one was great. Tommy Johnigan, Kevin Nealon. And then Moshe Kasher, like, came up from the audience and told the story.

And I was like, what is happening? I didn't know. So then I did the live at Podfest right when I first moved here. And I was, like, newly single and I was like I didn't know so then I did the live at pod fest right when I first moved here and I was like newly single and I was crazy and I was the last guest this is the third one this is the third one I'm pretty big time my biggest credits prior to this are being a guest on this show oh that was the one the all women show yeah it was me and Whitney and Pamela yeah it was great and um I got like killed it yeah that was an i was crazy i it was a crazy person i remember now yeah it was real i was like oh she's so much better now she's finally cut loose i was

i was out of control there was there was a brother of one of the new kids in the block in the audience and he talked to me after the show i mean you've made things happen for me mark there was yes which one joey mcintyre's brother, Tommy or Timmy. I don't remember. What the fuck was he doing there? He was there because Joey McIntyre is friends with Graham Elwood. I know way too much. It is a gift.

Graham Elwood from Canada? It is a gift that I have to bring New Kids on the Block into every conversation. You haven't had any of them on the show, have you? I haven't had any of them. I mean, I don't know that. I work with Marky Mark, though. Well, there you go. Isn't he one of them?

Yeah, he's a brother. He's not. His brother's in the new kids. Donnie Wahlberg. His brother's married to Jenny McCarthy. Have you had Jenny on the show? No. Yeah, no.

I don't know what I'd do with Jenny. Talk about vaccines and Donnie. All right. So here you are, corporate culture, administrative assistant. Right. And then I prefer executive assistant. All right, fine. assistant sounds fancier were you losing your fucking mind a little bit yeah how'd you do what'd you do comedy on a dare what

happened i think i just yeah i think i told someone yeah and then i set the date and then people were going to show up and i didn't know how it worked at acme was where i signed up i didn't realize that like you didn't just get up you know i didn't realize that like, you didn't just get up. You know, I didn't realize a bajillion people sign up. Is that how it works there? Yeah. You know, it's like the store

or anywhere else, like a bunch of people go and sign up on a list and then an hour later they put the list out. And so I said I was going to do it on whatever, December 6th.

And then the week before I was like, oh shit, I've invited people. Again, not realizing, like don't invite people. Your first time?

To your first fucking time. To your first five years although the first time it probably was because you're so high and and they're just so impressed that you did it but did you practice on people no but i mean with the acting i knew like i knew and i'd gone i would go see comedy and would go you did yeah yeah so that was something that was in your repertoire live comedy yeah a little bit when i when I was an adult. I didn't listen as a kid. There's some comics where you're like, when I was five, I was listening to albums.

No, but when you were working at the executive assistant, you guys would sometimes be like, let's go see a comedy show. Yeah, and we knew of Swordson because his half hour had just come out and he's from Minnesota. We knew Bamford way back then too because she was just the coolest already. Yeah, was she from up there too? Yeah and he's from Minnesota. We knew Bamford way back then too because she was just like the coolest already.

Yeah. Was she from up there too? Yeah. She's from Duluth. Oh, yeah. But I don't know where she started, stand up, if she started. And we all knew Hedberg. Sure.

Because he was from there. He lived, that was like, he came from two places. Yeah. I think Seattle also. Right. Right. But his family was from there, right? Minneapolis or somewhere? Ineapolis or like a

suburb right yeah so you knew him yeah briefly when his headshots just said mitch right and he's like touring with chad daniels and darlene westgore and like doing small channels another one great yeah he but he is like i just worked with him um in the summer in Sacramento. And then here in LA, he had me open format the improv. And his fans are everywhere. And it sold out months before the show. Really? Where? At the improv year? I was going to tell you, when we did the tour for the last special, not the most recent special of yours on Netflix.

Too real. That you filmed in Minneapolis. I was so sick that whole tour. And trying, when we drove from Madison to Minneapolis, I was trying not to cough. Like, I think I had a sinus infection. Oh, yeah.

I was something off and you were like, I'd be like, nope, I'm great. I'm not sick at all, sir. I remember feeling bad. So bad. But it's all turned out because I didn't want you to get sick. But that's very nice of you. And you went and got a coronavirus test before this show.

Yeah, because my husband was like, you cannot go. You can't go to Marc Maron's house. You can't infect an icon, a comedy icon. I'm like, well, I haven't left the house in a month. What is wrong? Does it feel weird? Am I like the first person you talk to in person? Yeah, that's not my. Well, we have a have a dupe we live in a duplex real jesus

neighbor one side in construction i cannot stress to you how close and how much construction is happening next to my head in the morning like our bedroom window like i could open the window and shake the hands and worse man so it's like i can't even like let me just go sit outside and read a book it's because it's either jesus telling lady telling me how this is uh end times and like we all got to turn like this is this is in the book mark you just ask my neighbor ask my neighbor i know it's in the book and um so wait so all right well how does that like how often do you see her um well anytime we open the door she'll open the door like our our doors are like it's like an l so our door like you know what i mean like oh gosh so and she's fine but like she's really into she's um a jew for jesus oh wow so that's extreme and uh they they they double down yeah yeah everything comes back to and she's a like she'll ask you a question but doesn't really want you to answer because she wants to right tell you about jesus about jesus good news yeah yeah and um this is

this is all prophesied and pretty soon they're going to be putting chips on us and oh it's a 666 chip yep yep oh yeah yeah oh yeah of course the only one not mark of the beast yeah i'm like i just want to get my newspaper maybe read read this book. Because otherwise it's construction on the other side. Construction. I had to deal with that for a year. They built a bank. They put a foundation. With the other house?

Not here. No. In Boston when I was younger. When I was just starting out in comedy. Like staying up late. Yeah. And they were putting a foundation. Oh, just jackhammer.

No. Bigger jack. Dropping a giant thing from a crane onto steel girders like they were nails. They were putting nails into the earth.

Giant nails into the earth with a dropping fucking rock from a crane. What time do they start? Like seven? Yeah, you can,

because now in LA, you can start at 7 a.m. weekdays, 8 a.m., and sometimes at 645, trucks rolling up. The type of futile anger you experience where you know there's nothing you can do. It's a good life lesson.

And I hate confrontation so much. Yeah. Well, what are you going to do? Yeah. But we are paying rent, and they're leaning a lot of the wood and stuff on our bedroom window. And my husband, he's talked to him several times and he's, yeah,

and talked to the landlord and he's pretty fired up. But I'm like, if there's, like these workers, they don't give a shit. Like they're just, they're just.

What are they building? They're remodeling, like there's three houses on the, a duplex, a little bungalow and then a big house and they're remodeling

the little bungalow that I think they've planned to just like, oh, we'll just replace a couple of things and then it was like they pulled the thread and we're like oh we need to totally redo this oh so now it's going to be forever yeah and they're redoing our driveway to get i don't know today oh driveway really i guess yes i don't know it's the same units it's same owners yeah your point i get it but it's like the one time in history where for a month- We can have quiet.

I can sleep in. Yeah, can do it. I could do nothing. I'm really good at doing nothing. I could sleep in. Me too. I love to stay up late and sleep in, but we can't. I'm fucked.

Yeah. All right, so- Yeah. You're going to comedy shows. Mm-hmm. Executive assistant. Mm-hmm. You've seen Bamford.

You've seen Schwartzen. Yeah. You've seen Chad Daniels. Yeah. You've seen Chad Daniels. Yeah. And I was like, oh, this is cool. And I, so I thought I'd try it. And I said, I'm going to try it at least three times, no matter what happens.

At Acme. Well, I didn't know. Again, I didn't realize. Like, I got up two weeks in a row. Yeah. And then. Lewis. Yep.

I don't know who is actually running the Monday. I don't, I mean, he doesn't pick the Monday night list. I think maybe he'll say like, oh oh once you get to a certain point he'll be like like i remember the first time i got five minutes instead of three do you remember seeing hedberg no oh you never saw him no um he by the time i started he was already like i remember like i just started and he's on letterman again all right got it yeah um but yeah so i started i got up two weeks in a row people were like holy shit and i was like oh you don't just get up every week uh okay and then i went to some other the third time was at some little rinky dink bar show did you write jokes

i did yeah i did i had three i was like i knew because i'd gone enough to see like people who looked like they were just winging it yeah and i knew from my stage training that they weren't that they that i or they just couldn't do it. They were like, oh, shoot, what else? Oh, you mean at open mic. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you knew that everybody you saw professionally was writing.

Writing, or if they were winging it, it was like they were winging it with an idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I did prepare and then just started. And then I liked it. And it was like, oh oh this whole new world and oh it's fun and you're out at bars and yeah it's like a million guys just and you're the pretty pretty princess for a week and you're like oh fuck this uh-huh but you didn't like you didn't

but still you uh i kept my day that was one thing i remember tracy ashley saying keep your day job as long as you can. Which was also good. And it's an interesting, starting in Minneapolis, you can make a few bucks. Yeah. Like if you have 15 minutes, that's cleanish. Yeah. There were, at least when I started, a handful of- One-nighters?

One-nighters, bookers who were like, oh, I'm doing this deer hunting widower's weekend. Ooh, a lady comic who's kind of clean. Heck yeah, come and do this VFW show where there's a 90 year old and a 19 year old in the audience right we need you know so you learned like okay well so you do special event gigs in the area you got into a circuit yeah there's you can drive you know like an hour around minneapolis was there a uh like a community there yeah guys and women that never left i would work a lot for bill bauer who's uh has passed away but um he's a stand-up stand-up and i think he maybe he's like of the louis anderson oh that generation that generation never never left the region i think

he was out in la and then started a family maybe wrote for some things out here and then went back but like sold out everything you know we did all do all the talent, did the circuit in the Midwest and would sell out all the shows. And those are always great, super fun gigs. You always got a prime rib dinner, you know? Right. And there's another lady, Rox Tarrant, a woman that I would always put on these shows. Yeah.

And I always love hearing about those people, the unsung heroes. Yeah. Regional acts. Yeah. That just keep going. Yeah. Or there's like um see willie miles another comic that would perform at acme sometimes but just does like i think he does a ton of cruises and like corporates yeah once i started doing it friends parents would be like oh

we saw the funniest at our coldwell banker annual meeting do you know this guy and i was like i've never heard of this guy and then he like rolls up in this fancy car and you're like oh shit that's a whole nother circuit of comedy i know nothing about have you done that i've done a few corporates but yeah i didn't quit my day job that office job until i've lived in la almost six years um so maybe like uh seven eight years ago i kept it a long time and then i kind of went down to part-time. I would leave early, drive four hours, tell jokes, and then come back. So you stayed practical. I stayed.

You could not just let it all go. I'm not going to take that leap. I'm not going to cross on the note. Don't cross. I'm not. It was scary to take a leap. Well, you got to take a leap. Yeah.

Yeah. When is that going to happen? Well, I'm here. I'm in LA. Here we are. Here we are in quarantine. Had some really, really great auditions right before lockdown. Actually, one of the last auditions I went on, the guy was like, that was great.

I'd shake your hand, but you know. And I was like. Really? Great. But wait, okay, so you get here. Yeah. And like, I think I had part of that. I think I talked you up in Rolling Stone magazine.

Yeah. Yeah. I use it in like a little one sheet about myself. I'm like, here's my mark. Man, instead of about me 20 years ago. Oh, you want to find the article online? You can't. It's no longer on the thing, but he did say it.

Yeah. Cause I guess it didn't. Maybe it's, I have a, I'm playing the long game. I'm for you. Thank you. Just waiting for my time. Yeah. Yeah.

And I do wish like i think also starting in the midwest you have this like the carrot you're chasing is okay i'm gonna host instead you do these guest spots okay and then now i'm gonna host okay now i want a feature okay now i want to headline this tiny room in sioux falls okay which is great and it's a good skill to have right to not be afraid of an audience of 12 people two of whom are 90 yeah one of whom is 21 yeah or whatever and there's a hockey game on the tv behind you you know but but um so you're chasing that in your headlight and then all of a sudden i feel like when you're like oh shoot is

this is this the life oops oops i damn it because then you get to la and you're like dang all these people who've lived here five years before me, the connection, the friends that they have. I know, but does it matter? I have no sense of it, man.

I mean, does it matter? Like I got here and I was like, yeah, I got here from New York and I, I, I had some reputation, but I couldn't,

I didn't. I feel like you always had a reputation. Well, not a good one. Right. Well, yeah, I didn't say that,

but like when I got here in 2000 and whatever I mean I could do comedy but it was like where can I do it how do I do it nobody gives a shit if you have nobody gives a shit about nothing doesn't matter nobody cares

no you gotta get into the rooms or on the cool show and then that lucked out the one thing but Minneapolis so once you realize No, you've got to get into the rooms. Or on the cool show. Yeah. And then that worked out. The one thing about Minneapolis, so once you realize, oh, man, my goal is not to headline whatever small town every other weekend. Or I need to get somewhere where I can get a TV credit so then at least I can draw some people, whatever. In Minneapolis, sometimes people like you come through.

Or I did Doug Love's movies a couple times, and then that's where I met Jonas. And then it'd be like, oh, I did Doug Love's movies a couple times. And then that's where I met Jonas. And then it'd be like, oh, I'm going to be in LA. And he's like, oh, well, why don't you come and do my show? Oh, what's your show? Oh, Meltdown. Yeah, I think I can squeeze that in on my trip.

And you did it, right? Yeah, I did that a few times. Did you do the TV version? I didn't do the TV version. I have no TV outside of maybe seeing me in a commercial for insurance or something. How many commercials did you do? I've done three or four here in LA. Yeah.

Does that sound about right? That's good. Yeah. Do they make some money? I'm non-union. So, I mean, for the day that I show up, yes, but for the 10 auditions before that. But you come out here and you've got a few friends and you're doing the little rooms here and there,

but it's hard. Yeah. And then, you know, then you get the job over at the restaurant. Right. And there you are. Yeah. But you don't have a problem with that. No, I mean, it's a, I'm like super part time at a restaurant.

It's a groovy place. Yeah. And it's good because then I saw you because I think like I wouldn't have, you wouldn't have had me on the podcast festival when I first moved here if I hadn't seen you in the restaurant. You know, like outside out of mind. Well, I first moved here if I hadn't seen you in the restaurant. I didn't know where you were. I always wonder about people when they are at jobs where they're visible to other comics. Am I embarrassing her right now?

I saw Sebastian Maniscalco when he was a fucking waiter at the Four Seasons or whatever. And it was just that moment where I'm there for a meeting and he's the waiter. I'm like, hey. Yeah. And now he's the biggest act in the fucking world. You never know. And it feels weird to be like, I got this album, but I also work at a restaurant

and I'm a failure. But they're good people and it's great. I don't know, though. I've met good people. I don't know if it's a failure thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, what's the other option?

Just sucking it up and not doing nothing and just smoking weed all day? Yeah. Nope, because I would be breaking rules. I don't do that. But yeah, I drink plenty of coffee. But yeah, it keeps you sane, makes you leave the house. And I'd like to live a comfortable, like I like being able to pay rent. You don't want to worry about shit.

Yeah. But here's my question, though. Because I remember I wasn't concerned. But after a certain point, I don't know how to help anybody. But you met this dude out of nowhere. I talk about my husband? Yeah. I met him online.

I swiped right. Really? Yeah. I was looking for adult physical fun in Los Angeles. And Los Angeleseles is huge and i didn't want to date customers at the restaurant and i didn't want to date a comic but it was specific physical fun yeah i was i was looking to have sex yeah i i will say that so embarrassing um i'm an adult i'm allowed to say that yeah uh so i swiped right i was like okay that's this this is you can mail order you can swipe this guy first action and i was like oh he's fun he's got uh cool gray hair and uh and and he lives like in in my on my side of town yeah and uh so everything's going your way

and then i was like well i guess i'll keep him around forever so you met met him and so you had the sex and that was fine but you liked the guy. Yeah. And he's like a trained guy? Yeah he works for Amtrak. He works on the trains. What does he do on the trains? Is he the guy that walks up and down and punches the thing? No that's the conductor does that I think.

He's like a train attendant. He's like a flight attendant but on the trains. Oh so he works in the first class Amtraks? Yeah. And, so he works in the first class Amtrak? Yeah, some of that. And then sometimes he works in the yard, like doing stuff to the trains. I don't really know. So you like trains? He does.

I think he likes, like he'll work like three days and then have like six days off. So it's like that kind of hours. You getting health insurance through Amtrak? Yeah. That's good. Yeah. I had it at the restaurant, but now I have better. Oh, the restaurant? That's nice. Yeah. And 401k. They take care of their people. At the fucking restaurant? Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I had it at the restaurant, but now I have better. Oh, the restaurant?

That's nice. Yeah, and 401k. They take care of their people. At the fucking restaurant? Yes. Isn't that great? Isn't that great, man? So yeah, he works for Amtrak.

And so that's another thing. He's gone. He's usually gone three days. Where did he go? Now his route, before the lockdown, his route was up and down the coast, like up San Luis Obispo, San Diego, just back and forth. Yeah. He'd spend the night like in Goleta or wherever and then home for like four days.

So I'd have a few days just alone. Yeah. Do what I want, relax. Or like when he's gone, okay, then those nights you definitely got to go out and hit a mic or go see a show or do whatever. But now we're just both home. In our... I thought you said he was working a little. Well, he is, but there are way fewer trains right now.

So the last trip he went up to Seattle and back, which he doesn't normally do, the long hauls. Along the coast or in the middle? Yeah, along the coast. And then sometimes he goes up to Chicago. Really? Yeah. That's a long haul.

Yeah, that's, was that six days? That might be, Chicago or New Orleans, one of them is six days from LA. So. So here we are. What are the big goals now? Yeah. You've done four commercials.

One of which, I'm in a bathing suit, and so that means I'm a hero. Yeah. As a real woman. And you've got this record out. Yep. That's solid.

Yeah. Yeah, people are, people are digging it. It's, I guess it's playing on Sirius on a few different channels. Oh,. Yep. That's solid. Yeah. Yeah, people are digging it. I guess it's playing on Sirius on a few different channels. Oh, thank God. Yeah. That'll make you some money. Yeah, hopefully.

I keep opening the Sirius app and waiting to hear myself. And the Pandora, which is such a strange to pull up and see where people are listening. Oh, you do? You can? Yeah. Oh, no shit. I don't quite know how to read at all. Uh-huh.

But. Where were they listening um like a lot in the midwest and then up and down the coast and then like a handful of places in florida but you're like a you're a midwest person yeah i mean it's part of the the your point of view right yeah part of the appeal part of the Yeah. So I'm here. I love stand-up. Boy, do I miss it, which I didn't realize. It's weird because I'm having the opposite experience. You're not missing it. I'm like, I think I'm done. Yeah.

Well, yeah. I mean, what? You're a fancy pants actor. Are you like, are you missing that? Are you missing being on set? No, I'm not missing anything. I'm like, I've been waiting my whole life to do nothing with confidence. I mean, I've done nothing with nothing.

I like doing nothing with something. I think it's safe to say you've earned it. You can enjoy this. There's always part of my brain outside of the plague and worrying about the end of the world. But no, it's teaching me that like there was part of me that I don't know if I'm old school or what, but there's part of me that always thought like, when do you retire? Isn't the idea of work to stop? Do you think you, Mark Maron, will actually retire?

I don't think so. I don't know. You know, everyone always asks me that. But like, I don't I don't know. This is a real lesson in this forced pause is really one of those things where it's like, if you really think, you know, take, assess yourself, like, how am I really feeling about doing nothing? Well, it's great because I know no one else is doing anything. So that helps. Yeah.

You know, because I'm like the competition. Well, maybe at your level. So the level I'm at, I'm having a little bit of the opposite. Like, I feel like I'm supposed to be doing everything. Agent is like, Phil, do make sure this is up to date. And like, these casting directors are taking these submissions. And if you're not reaching out for a new manager, now is the time. And I'm like, I'm behind.

Right now? Yeah, because they have nothing to do but submit submissions. I'm like, yeah, but if thousands of people are submitting. That's still another version of nothing to do. Yeah. It doesn't mean anything. But I think. They're just trying to justify their jobs.

Are you feeling any creative? Sure. Are you writing writing i see you cooking your podcast oh yeah no i cook i play guitar and you know i talk on the mic sometimes i'll go on ig uh uh live yeah you know and i i'm writing a few things down here and there but mostly just letting my head clear out yeah and uh working on the house a bit but um do you miss acting are you loving the acting it's okay i mean like look man it's nice to be part of a thing yeah but uh thing you're part of some amazing like huge cultural things yeah i mean it's like it's it's you know it is fun and it's exciting but it's work yeah in a way yeah everything's okay but like i i the i don't i don't think i would have ever taken a break yeah certainly not like this yeah and i'm and i am surprised at how well i'm acclimating

because as a comic and i've said this before like we did nothing for a long time not you but many of us i've done nothing i'm good at doing nothing but yeah you know yeah all right so the record's out yep and hopefully we'll get back to work eventually do you cook? no I hate it so much so what are you guys doing? I mean we're cooking

we have to like luckily we signed up for a CSA right before this all went down what's that? the community sustained supported some agriculture

you get the box? we get a box of produce every week it's still coming? yeah and then we now you can also like add on like eggs and milk and stuff.

So we haven't really, I have to go out and get coffee after this, but we haven't really like. I have coffee. Sweet. What kind of, you mean beans?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll give you some beans. That's the only reason I'm here. Deal. Let's go take care of it. Thank you so much for having me. This is great

to talk to another human being. Leave my house I got to pet a cat this has been I took a shower I put on makeup you look great this has been like prom

this has been the highlight of my quarantine well wait till I give you your corsage alright talk to you later thanks for having me that was me and Amber Preston. Her new stand-up album is called Sparkly Parts. Get it wherever you get music and comedy records. It will bring you back to the Midwest.

All right, let's play some guitar. Let's play some guitar. I'm going to go ahead and play it. Thank you. Boomer lives. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything.

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