WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 1195 - George Wallace

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

For a guy who's been working at the top of the comedy scene since the 1970s, George Wallace has held a lot of other identities too. He was a computer engineer, a rag salesmen, an ad executive, and a real estate investor. Even within the comedy world, George kept an eclectic profile, working with musical acts like Tom Jones, operating a Vegas showcase for himself, and finding newfound popularity with his Twitter feed. George also tells Marc about his enduring friendship with Jerry Seinfeld. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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To show your true heart is to risk your life. When I die here, you'll never leave Japan alive. FX's Shogun, a new original series streaming February 27th, exclusively on Disney+. 18-plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. Lock the gates! all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fuck nicks what's happening i'm mark maron this is my podcast. Rest in peace, Larry King. One of the great interviewers passed away a few days ago. We reposted my conversation with him, which was a little tense at the beginning, but then it eased into something kind of great.

So if you're not familiar with Larry in that way, as Larry talking about Larry, it's a nice experience. And we do that here at the shop. We repost the talks I had with people who passed away in memory of them. It's not something I like to do, but it's something I'm happy to do. And it also reminds me of my own life experience of where I was, what I was doing, 2013, driving to Beverly Hills to talk to Larry King, who was upset with me because we had gotten the times crossed up. I thought I was on time. He thought I was late. But it's a moment in time and he will be missed, but no one can say he didn't live a full life. It's always sad when people pass, but it's a little more understandable when they're old as fuck.

But yeah, today on the show I talked to George Wallace, the comedian. You've probably seen him doing stand-up somewhere. Even if you don't watch a lot of stand-up, he's been doing it everywhere for decades. Now he's got a renewed popularity because of his Twitter feed. He's got a new book out called Bull Twit and What Not. And yeah, I'll talk to him. Sort of amazing. I haven't talked to him yet.

He's a guy that started in New York. He's one of these guys. You know, when you come up as a comedian, one of the things you deal with, depending on the club. If there's a club that's an old club that's been around for a long time, there are a few comedy clubs that come to mind. certainly the comedy store here in Los Angeles, but like Zany's in Nashville, where there's just hundreds of headshots of people from back in the day. And as a young comic, when you work these clubs, there were more of them back in the day, road clubs that lasted through the 80s that have been there since the beginning. And you just walk around looking at these pictures and you wonder like, what the who's that guy what happened to that guy i used to do it i used to

do a joke about that uh about the uh about the comedy store when you walk into the comedy store it's just like hundreds of headshots the the gallery of sadness where you you play the game oh yeah whatever happened to that guy probably ended okay maybe not but whatever but i just remember george wallace's picture at the comic strip in new york another one of those places where it was just a strange black and white promotional shot of him as a preacher. And I always wondered, like, what was that about? So that was interesting to talk to him about that. I don't know what's going to happen. None of us do.

I know we feel better now that we've been released from this hostage situation, from this brain fucking that we've all had to go through, this toxic brain fucking, American fascistic swarm. But I do think I have to acknowledge, I don't know about you, but because of what I've experienced over the last year with the death of someone I loved and the general condition of plague and Donald Trump's presidency is I believe that I am experiencing some PTSD. And I think we all are. And I think it's ongoing. I think we've adapted to this isolating life or to this lockdown life.

And whoever, you know, however many of you having to go to work every day and live in that, the sort of fear of that, hopefully many of you who needed, who are vulnerable, who are older are getting the vaccine and feeling a little bit more safety. But there is a PTSD that we're going to have to get through, I think. I don't know how, I don't know where this goes, but I just hope you're taking care of yourself. I have begun a meditation practice that I've been told that I should do for years, but I've been doing it and I've added some yoga to it. Back in the day, not too far back, but in the last decade, I used to do yoga once a week, some hot flow yoga with Joe at the Hollywood

YMCA. And I haven't done it in years, but I bought a nice mat and I've got it right next to my bed. I get out of bed. I do a few sun salutations and then I sit cross-legged and I throw on the Headspace app. And I don't know if that's, it's weird because I listen to that guy. Okay, take a few deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. Okay, he'd give you a little pep talk of some kind creativity is something we all want to do but i can't quite do his voice but i'm finding that uh the guided meditation thing you know where you're supposed to like if you have a thought you

know don't get mad yeah whatever get back to your body get back back in your breath. But, you know, he's talking. It gets to a point with guided meditation where you're like, I was right there. And then you had to, what, tell me to count my breaths? Count your breaths up to 10. In and out. One, two, three. Just pay attention. It's like, I was.

I was in it. I was right there. I do seem to get there. After about 10 minutes of him, when he says, time to open your eyes, I'm like, I just got in it. And now I've been staying in it a little longer. Again, I don't know what it does. I don't know what it's for. I don't know why.

But I'm doing it because it can't fucking hurt. And God knows I have the time. And the yoga, I need to stretch because I'm compulsively exercising to maintain my sanity. And I'm 57 fucking years old. And I wake up and I feel like I'm broken. I feel like the entire machine needs fucking oil. I feel like, oh my God, is this the way it's going to be for the rest of it? So the yoga is helping. Is this the way it's going to be for the rest of it? So the yoga is helping. The breathing is helping.

It's all helping. But it's weird, isn't it, man? It's weird. There's a creeping sadness still, isn't there? Been watching some movies. I've been reading this book. Watching the movies that the book is about. Watched In the Heat of the Night.

Sidney Poitier and Rod Steiger. Terrific. Norman Jewison movie. Watched guess who's coming to dinner the stanley uh kramer movie a little difficult watched uh bonnie and clyde but spencer tracy and katherine heparin wow spencer tracy holy fuck his last movie dropped dead before it came out just stunning just. Just amazing. Bonnie and Clyde, I watched. The other two movies that the book's about are The Graduate and Dr. Doolittle. What is that book called? I'm so fucking bad. Pictures at a revolution. I don't know if I'm going to get to Dr. Doolittle, and God knows I've seen The Graduate a lot, but I'm nearing the end of the book, and it's sort of like he's bringing all this together.

It's sort of kind of talking about the shift in the business, but it's such a great read and great to watch the movies. I also watched, what's that new movie, Promising Young Woman? Is that what it was? Promising Young Woman? Promising, yeah, with Carey Mulliganigan and my former glow co-stars are in it chris lowell allison brie it was a it was a heavy movie it's a disturbing movie it's a dark movie it's a powerful movie it delivers a punch at the end it's kind of sad but satisfying but i

do not know why you would take that story personally and sort of couch it in kind of an indie comedy framework or a slight campiness to it. You know, this is like because like sometimes if you if you make a film that is heavy. a real examination and, and revenge tale about toxic masculinity is that what if, what if you had played that straight in the way of like, what if you had just approached it as, you know, a real, a human story without kind of buffering it with this kind of indie campiness.

I don't know. I'm not saying it's a bad movie and, and I, and I was satisfied at the end of it, but I don't know if I'll, saying it's a bad movie and I was satisfied at the end of it, but I don't know if I'll remember it in the way that I would remember. Like there's an old Clint Eastwood movie that is similar in theme called Sudden Impact, which really delivered about female rage around helplessness in the face of abuse and the most toxic of the masculinity, you know, rape, murder. And like, I'll never forget it.

And this new movie, Promising Young Woman is great. It's well-performed, but there's a sheen to it because of the indie campiness that i wonder if it undermines uh the power of the story you be the judge i'm just talking little movie review and a and like a movie review i i enjoyed it it delivered it was satisfying at the end, but those are my issues. And it doesn't matter. Watch it. See for yourself.

All right, listen. George Wallace, his new book is Bull Twit and Whatnot. It is available at georgewallace.net and this is me talking to the comedian George Wallace. Just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Gold tenders? No. But chicken tenders? Yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too.

Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Are you self-employed? Don't think you need business insurance? Think again.

Business insurance from Zensurance is a no-brainer for every business owner because it provides peace of mind. A lot can go wrong. A fire, cyber attack, stolen equipment, or an unhappy customer suing you. That's why you need insurance. Don't let the, I'm too small for this mindset, hold you back from protecting yourself. Zensurance provides customized business insurance policies starting at just $19 per month. Visit Zensurance today to get a free quote. Zensurance. customized business insurance policies starting at just $19 per month. Visit Zensurance today to get a free quote. Zensurance. Mind your business. Can you see me, George?

I see you very well, man. Of course I do. Thank you so much. Where are you at? At ATL. I'm in Wakanda. Oh, really? You're down in Atlanta?

Yes, sir. Is that where you come from? I'm born and raised in Atlanta. Yeah. And right right now my condo is one mile from where i was born so you oh so you're living down there well i live in new york city and i live in las vegas and i live in los angeles do you actually have you own places and all those places i do i own 17 properties i found myself, I didn't do drugs, but you know, I came to an era where I was making a lot of money in 2008, 2009 in Las Vegas. And I just found myself buying

cheap properties. And I really screwed up this time. When the market is down, make sure you buy, man. You can buy a lot. You haven't been buying any new properties? No, I have enough. I'm trying to get rid of them now. I'm trying to get rid of the property, especially in my New York City, because maintenance is a bitch. If New York is not your primary address, they add another two and a half percent to your maintenance. Oh, really? Yes. Maintenance and maintenance is high as hell. That's what I'm going to sell my place. How do they know when you're not living there primarily? Just because a doorman rats you out?

How do they know? Because when you file your taxes, you get a New a new york tax so you're filing in two places yes so you can't do that so atlanta how long you live down there i don't live here i'm just here since a quarantine i came down there in march 14 you got family all my family most my family my family's all over the world but i got a lot of family here in Atlanta. And so I'm here and I'm pretty strict about quarantining. Yeah. In the house since March 14th.

Very seldom I go out. All my food is delivered to the door. Really? Groceries and deliveries, whatever. I go to the doctor and I'm really scared to go to the doctor. I got a shot, man. Yeah? You got the COVID shot?

Yes, sir. Congratulations. Thank you so much. I called my doctor. I called them all and lied to them, told them I need a shot ASAP. Yeah. And the first one, nobody could get it. And one guy says, I got a dosage.

If you'd like to come in tomorrow morning at 915, we'll bring you in. So at 915, I was there. And I'm glad I got it. I'm in Atlanta, home of the CDC. So they're saying get it. And a lot of African-American people are still a little shaky about getting it because the experiment we went through many years ago was the syphilis trial, the Tuskegee trial.

Yeah, the Tuskegee trials. Not good. No, and it could be another trial now. I don't know. I just know I'm old and I got the shot. I want to be in the number. Well, we're all in on it now. If it's a trial,

it's on all of us, George. This time, we're all going down. Did you get the shot? No, I'm not old enough, you old fucker. You're 60. You're 60. 57, bro.

57. Oh, you're only 57. Man, God bless you, man. You're 60. You're 60. 57, bro. 57. Oh, you're only 57. Man, God bless you, man. God bless you. God bless you. So I did it, and Seinfeld got it on Saturday. Where'd he get it? He got it in New York City.

Why? Is he old, too? How old is he? He's 66. Oh, so he's in the age group, huh? Yeah. You know, it was amazing. Georgia was, like, number 50 on the list with worst conditions.

Just couldn't get it. It wasn't distributed properly. But it was around, right? I mean, it was around. So you called a few guys and you're like, you know, a guy's got some. Well, I called my doctor and I said, if you know anything, let me know. And through some way, somehow he got dosages. And I went there.

I'm so stupid. You know, my job is to he got dosages and i went there i'm so stupid you know yeah my job is to try to write jokes and shit so i'm sitting there and and uh i'm very um cautious about my mask and my shield i wear a mask i wear shield i wear glasses i wear everything yeah and but i didn't even i shouldn't even say this but i did i cut a fart in the doctor's office uh-huh and none of his patients have COVID. Everybody smelt it. They got up and walked the fuck out. So that was their test for the day.

If they were there for a COVID test, they got one from your ass. They got one. So I'd be thinking, I said, you know what? I'm going to open up my own testing sites. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I shouldn be thinking, I said, well, you know what? I'm going to open up my own testing sites. You know? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So I shouldn't be doing fart jokes, but, but it did work. Hey, you know, I talked to another comedian in England about fart jokes. Fart jokes have been around since the beginning of time. George fart jokes always work. No matter how cheap they are. Everybody enjoys a fart joke. Would you say that again? And that's the fact that I don't do fart jokes. Why not laugh at them your daddy you grew up and by jokes have always worked always

always been there yeah they i think it's just as you get older people expect more out of you that's all but you always go with what works the most simplicity well you want to be the fart guy do you want to be the fart guy i talk about so much be the fart guy? I talk about so much shit. It doesn't matter. You know me. I don't play by the rules anyway. I talk about anything and everything. I really don't have a show. I'm quite nervous talking to you because I have absolutely nothing to talk about. And I'm going to be here with you like an hour. I'm going, what the hell am I going to say for an hour? Well, no, I mean, it is interesting because like I've known of you and about you and i've seen you around since you know since i started doing comedy you know so there's like it's one of those areas where you're a guy that i don't

really know how you started but you know you were around in new york with that whole second wave of guys yeah but like you were so you were born in atlanta and what happened where'd you how how'd you end up in new york let me tell you something. I really, I wanted to be a comedian since I was six years old. Why? Who'd you see? Red Skelton. Oh yeah. Red Skelton. Also Red Skelton. I saw Red Fox. I saw Richard Pryor. I saw Johnny Carson. On TV?

On TV. And Milton Berle. And as a kid in high school, what I would do, I would, I would hear these guys on TV on Thursday night. I think Thursday night was like funny night on Carson, right? So I'm going to go the next morning. I go to school, and I do the jokes, and people would laugh. Hell, I didn't know. And I listened to the party records with Red Fox and Judge Pete Markham and Moms of Maybelline and people like that.

Did your parents have them? Yes, they had them. And, you know, when they went away, they were called party records, right? Because they were dirty. I got some of those your parents have them oh yes they had them and you know when they went away they were called party records right because they were dirty i got some of those you have them i've got some old red fox party records yeah man i got i got pig meat records you got pig meat records i do yeah i gotta do that man i got my one of my favorite photos i got all of my comedians on there my comedians i grew up with i got richard pratt i got jackie moms maybe i got uh red fox or even jj walker's on there i got a lot of people um with you pictures with you no not with me of them they're a little older than i am even jj walker had i come along in comedy and three years earlier j jj walker would not have had a job i know i could have beat him out of

that damn job so you started doing comedy in high school or no? No, I left Georgia and I went to Ohio. Ohio? To study. I needed a degree in transportation. How'd you decide on transportation? Because I always loved traveling. My father traveled and we went all over the country

and I just loved traveling and getting on the car. My daddy was a butcher. A traveling butcher? No. He traveled to work in Atlanta. He worked for Swift and Company. Swift and Company. That's a better bound trick than those

people. But he always traveled and I think I learned that to this day, people that travel are smarter than most people. When you travel and learn what's going on in the world, it's so important. And I hope you do travel. I hope you travel. Do you travel? Well, you know, when we go to work, when we're able to work around the world. No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, do you sometimes like take off from what we do? Because when we work, we people don't understand us stand out about us

we said we're going to we go i'm going to cleveland i'm going to chicago and you can't call your family they don't understand you were here yeah but i'm working i'm not here to bullshit i guess so but i try to get around don't you get around when you go to work i if i try to see the city sometimes like i've worked in europe i'll travel around a little bit. I travel a bit, probably not as much as I should. Do you? Oh, I do. I was doing 250,000 a year. I just got a call last week to do Hong Kong, go back to Hong Kong and do more shows there.

But do you travel without working? Yes, I do. Like I said, I get 250,000 in easily. Really? Oh, man, I love that airplane. The big get up in that seat. And you just asked me, where do I live? Normally, my little crazy answer is I live at United and Delta.

I love flying. I love flying. I love learning. People that travel, you learn other cultures. Where do you like to go? Where have you been? You name it. I've been from Shanghai to Singapore, to Dubai, to Johannesburg.

Where do you go back to? Where do you like? I've been there many times. Spain. I used to go to Spain, to Johannesburg. Where do you go back to? Where do you, like, I've been there many times. Spain. I used to go to Spain six times a year. Oh, Spain. Because that's where the nude beaches and the freaks were. Oh, okay. I couldn't be a freak in America, but I used to be a freak in Spain, yes.

Secret freak. You're a secret Spanish freak. Yeah, everybody's got their little... Yeah. Their little secrecies. I just love to go to i never went nude i never went nude on the beach but i used to love going to the nude beaches so you were the freak that looked at the nude people wearing your trunk i swear to god i used to it was freaky now these beaches

were freaky people were having sex up in the woods on you know i used to go watch i'm telling all my little business i use i'm telling all my little business. I'm telling all my business. Yeah, I love it. But, you know, it's all about fun. Nobody's getting hurt. And they're okay with it? It was okay to watch? They didn't mind? I don't know. Well, they might not.

But people like to do that. People would like to do that. But traveling all over the world, like going to Dubai. I love all of the, like Dubai is an interesting city. I don't know whether you've been there or not. I haven't, but you must've done standup there, right?

I just did. I've done standup everywhere I go from South Africa to most interesting places would be in China and Hong Kong. I did stand up in Beijing and I was in Hong Kong. Yeah. Beijing. I did an expatriate expat gig and it was weird to be there, man.

It's intense to be in China. Beijing is intense because it's a regal city, kind of like Washington, D.C. But when you get to Shanghai, you know, Shanghai is my favorite city in the world. Shanghai is three times larger than New York City, three times more modern than New York City. So it's amazing. And you start thinking because we grew up that America has everything. Well, other countries are doing well, too, even though that being a communist city. You say, well, what the hell is going on?

They're selling shit on the street like they're doing New York City and Hong Kong. Just beautiful, man. Beijing is crazy. I've never seen so many different types of bicycle vehicles. Right, right. Yeah. And people are just like getting haircuts on the street and they're selling kittens i don't know if that's what i was going to tell the same puppies and kittens on the street right

yeah yeah so yeah so you think this would not be a part of communism at all would you when you think that's not coming and that's commercial they make i don't know yeah i mean it's i don't think there's any straight up definition of communism anymore it's so it's so dug in there it doesn't mean you can't sell kittens on the street. There's other reasons you probably shouldn't sell kittens on the street. Also, they sell kittens and chickens and snakes, all kinds of shit in China. That's my problem. Are these for food or pets?

That's why I had a problem with understanding. What are these kittens for? Oh, man, I never thought about it like that. Wait a second. Dude, that's crazy. Because it could that's crazy because it could be couldn't it yeah of course it could be damn damn sorry buddy did i ruin your day i can't imagine but you know what is good you know what is good in china mcdonald's yeah mcdonald's and kfc i think they use the old formula with the french fries

and the grease you know what i did you know what i did notice so when i was in beijing those were the only two logos i understood like i like everything all the other signs i didn't know what they said but i'm like oh there's the bucket there's the arches now you would be surprised now you when you leave beijing and you go down to shanghai yeah then you would see you know you got your haagen-dazs ice cream you got your uh starbucks coffee i don't know why it's so different and hong kong is just like america to be honest because you know hong kong was a british colony so their first language was uh english yeah i don't know if it is anymore they took it back to 1999 1999 and it's causing a lot of problems and that's why i just told you i was summoned to come back to

Hong Kong to do a show. I don't know what I can do, what I used to do. I don't know what it's like there anymore. It sounds like shit went down. It does and I thought they were going to really, they still fight but they're locking people up and sending them to jail in China, mainland.

So it's getting pretty tough, man. Scary stuff. But travel is the best thing you could ever do. Make sure you continue to travel. Do you work all the time or do you? I do. I work, but I don't work out of the country enough. You know, I mean, I did do, I enjoy, I went to Ireland recently, which I love. I've never been to Ireland.

You've never been? I've never been to Ireland or Scotland. Because I don't like London. No, Scotland and Ireland are beautiful. Beautiful. Well, I mean, if you like that kind of stuff, green and damp. I don't like that. Even though I want to move to Vancouver, British Columbia,

I don't like green and damp. Even though I think Seattle, Washington, and Portland, they're green and damp. And that's the most beautiful part of America. Yeah, it's great. You want to go to Vancouver? That's where you're going to run? Let me tell you, I want to go to Vancouver because of COVID.

Yeah. And just going across the line, I think they've got like 7,000 deaths in Canada because of leadership. No, it's like, you know, but like, but I mean, you got the vaccine. Oh, I got to get another shot. And then I still got to wait. I still got to wait another three weeks. I'm not playing with this, man.

I'm not ready to go into the clubs yet. And I thank God for the young comics that are going into the clubs. But if there's any germ material, that's where it is in the clubs. Yeah, I ain't going out. I'm not going out to the clubs. Oh, my God. You see these guys going out and you see a few of them coming up sick lately? Yeah.

You see droplets coming out of your mouth, let alone the audience if they laugh at your jokes, if you're really funny. Yeah. That's all that's coming. And the nastiest thing in the world is being on stage. How many people have been on the mic and backstage? It's like a perfect storm of COVID. Yeah, I can wait. We've done and you've done.

We've done 50,000 shows. We can wait. So in Ohio, and you've done, we've done 50,000 shows. We can wait. So in Ohio, you're getting your transportation degree. How did that work out? Where were you working? Thank you for going back there. I got a degree. I went to Firestone Tire and Rubber Company because they had a tuition assistant program. So I got a degree in transportation. And I knew, you know, with my outgoing personality, I got the degree. It was only an associate degree at the time, but I did walk out of the library and said,

this is the last time I'll ever take a test anywhere. And they all knew me in the library and said, Wallace, get out of here. And the next week there was some more scholarship money. So I went back to get my other degrees in marketing and transportation. So you're all set for comedy. With transportation and marketing, you're ready to go.

It's time to be funny. I had degrees, and then I moved to New York City to become a comedian, but I needed a financial cushion. When you were working at Firestone, what were you doing? Computer technologist.

Oh, you weren't making tires? Mainstream computer? No. Hell no. The computers back in the day, remember when one computer could take up a whole room? Yeah, when they had the cards, the IBM cards? Yeah, yeah, I did that.

Yeah, so. You did what? I ran the machine. I ran the cards that you would punch the cards, data entry, data processing. I was punching the buttons like, are you operating your board right now? That's the most amazing job I've ever done. When I go to a radio station and I see a guy punching those

buttons and making them go back and forth, I just wanted to do that. But I used to operate a computer. I used to do the printing and doing the punching buttons and just reading the instructions. So I did that, but that was to get a financial cushion to get me just to get a degree. I was bad. I'm not a good student, man. I need to go back to school. No, it's not going to happen, George. Those days are behind you. I'd like to go back to school.

You know why? My head is fucked up, man, because I don't use a lot of... I'm kind of embarrassed. I don't use a lot of big words like Dennis Miller. Sure, you don't need to. Well, I had an instructor,

Dr. Eloise Misko, and he said one profound statement. Never speak where people understand you. Always speak where they never misunderstand you. Be as simple as possible. And that struck a chord in my head. And to this day, I don't use a lot of big words. I don't know a lot of big words. Should I just hope it's two weeks ago? my head and to this day i don't use a lot of big words i don't know a lot of big words should i

just hope it's two weeks ago i just got into uh uh insurrection and uh and you had to look it up insurrection was a new one and the other one too seditious seditious yeah look that one up every every five years when there's a new court something big happening you know we had the oj the oj trial we had defendant now i knew about defendant but they said defendant and then all of a sudden somebody said sequestering and well oh god i got to look that up too so so every year i learned some new words man so you can do it you can do it every day george you could just i think they have something uh on the computer where you learn a new word every day vocabulary but you don't get to the right place where you want to use it at the right time.

So you learn it, then you forget it. But I would like to go back to school and learn more. I like to learn more history. I like to learn more of everything. But can't you do that on your own? What do you need a school for? I'm lazy. It's right there.

You're right. You're on the computer. You can go on the computer every morning and learn. So you need someone to tell you? You need someone to give you an assignment?'m old school i need to sit in a chair i need a desk i don't think i would do better with the with the going to school the actual being in class then i don't know how these young kids are getting away with uh online online learning yeah that's got to be pretty tough it It's terrible. It's tough for everybody.

Their parents are going crazy. Everyone's going crazy. Everyone's in the house. They're going nuts. Yeah, but I did that. I wanted to go to school to get a financial cushion. Then I sold rags when I got out of college. What do you mean you sold rags?

What is it, 1902? What do you mean you sold rags? Let me tell you something, young man. I am old. I've been doing comedy since like 1853 what does selling rags mean it was a job man you'd be surprised how much money people make selling rags i'm rags like rags that you wipe things with yes sir you'd be sorry i used to say your your rags to riches i i think i did that i did it sounds like you still rags to riches? I think I did that. I did. It sounds like you did. You sold rags to mechanics.

You know, the mechanic has the rag. But where did you get the rags to sell? Did you work for a rag-selling company? Or is there a place where you... How does it work? I know this sounds really stupid. A guy sold rags to rags to riches. I like it.

When I got to New York, I needed to make some money to get a financial cushion. I read an ad. This is how old I am. When I was young, you had to go to the newspaper to read that one ad. Remember that? Uh-huh. No, you're too young to remember that. No, of course. They had the one ads in the back. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And so it said $150 to $300 a day. Check this out. And I checked it out, and it was selling rags. And the name of the company was Cleveland Cotton Products. Now, I went to school in Akron, Ohio, which is 30 miles down the road. I went back to Cleveland to learn how to sell rags and processing of rags. You'd be surprised how many people need rags. Restaurant need rags.

Car dealership needs rags. Doctor's office need rags. Everybody need rags. Schools need rags to clean. So you were deep into the rag racket. Man, let me tell you something. I sold ShamWow in 1972. Wow, man.

I sold ShamWow in 1972. I didn't have a name for it then. It was just called a disposable cloth. Yeah, it was called a rag. Yeah. It was the new rag that was a disposable, reusable cloth. Okay. That's the first day I ever made $3,500 in my life.

Selling those? Selling rags. I sold it to Earl Scheib. And I used to have a pen, just like this little pencil would stick in my pocket. It was a scale. I could weigh a rag, and I'd get the biggest rag they have. And I says, I'm going to weigh the rag. How much are you paying per pound per rag?

They said 23 cents. I got a rag here weighs eight ounces. Oh man, that's 12 ounces just for one rag. I can sell you a brand new universal cloth every day. And you can reuse it. Reusable, brand new cloth. Wow. And I had to change their way of thinking.

Around the rags. And that's how you made your fortune in rags. I'm one of the first people to sell a disposable cloth at the dentist's office. It used to be a white napkin they would put at the dental office. But as you know now, they put a handy white with a plastic backing. I sold that many years ago. You're like a pioneer. You're a rag pioneer.

Well, I didn't make it. I'll just do selling shit you know it was uh yeah i saw a lot of ppe equipment way back then so before a shem wall came out i was selling that and uh and i made a lot of money doing that and then i wanted to sell uh advertising yeah and i sold everything at times square yeah the 5 000 buses in new york city i was vice president of that outdoor advertising company what do you really on the buses all the 5,000 buses in New York City I was vice president of that outdoor advertising company on the buses?

all the 5,000 buses in New York City, Chicago, Detroit Cleveland how'd you get that job? I was sitting at Ammonia Square in Athens, Greece with a friend of mine, we was just talking about some careers and there was a friend that he knew in Greece? you were in Greece? Athens, Greece

and this was before you startedreece you were in greece athens greece and this is before you started doing comedy you were just in greece you took what the subway there what were you doing in greece i took the greyhound i drove the back way a lot of people don't know you can drive in europe if you go to back way but we were sitting talking about careers young young men talking about careers and there was a guy that he knew that made like $70,000 a year selling advertising. Space, you know? But this sounds like you learned how to hustle, so you learned how to sell. I mean, you had to sell this stuff, so that got you involved with people.

I wanted to be a comedian. Let's make one thing perfectly clear. Learning how to sell a product is the same thing as learning how to sell a joke. You got to go on stage and present the package. So I sold to, I had big accounts. Let's put it like this. When I was in New York City, Catch a Rising Star, 1976, I was making $75,000 then as a young kid. And people was,

and people say, you're going to quit that to become a comedian. I never cared. All I ever wanted to do was become a comedian. Never wanted to do any television. Never want to do any movies, anything like that. Just wanted to tell jokes because I knew a red box and all of the guys,

Patrick Henry. Red Fox was so fucking funny, man. Yeah. I see. I knew them and they were working in Las Vegas and we were told that Patrick Henry and Don Rickles, they were making $300, man. Yeah. See, I knew them, and they were working in Las Vegas, and we were told that Patrick Henry and Don Rooker, they were making $300,000 a year. That's all I need to make.

What the fuck I need to do? That's all I wanted to make. So when you decided to start doing it, did you have an act? Yes, because I had studied that in New York City. Seinfeld and I started together in 1976 at Catch a Rising Star. It was Catch catch that's why we're still best friends 45 years right now we started together catcher at the star so do you remember your what was it an open mic night or what yeah monday night did you do that yeah i

never i i didn't have the the the pride i couldn't sit there and wait for lewis to decide when i was gonna fucking go on so i i i stayed downtown or i went to the old improv i just couldn't i could not tolerate lewis ferranda having any control over my life where's oh i'm talking i'm looking for my phone i wanted to call lewis and say how you how he fucked up your life he knows and he's still doing it at carolina's isn't that amazing and we i think we've uh i think i think we're okay him and i i i've addressed that so i'm sure so who was on there who was around when you guys first went up so where'd you meet seinfeld at catch at catch he was sitting at one you know i was my first time little black kid at the end of the bar he was a little long-haired jewish kid at the other end of

the bar and we started talking waiting to go on and And next thing you know, we started to bond and hang together. Who was in charge of putting you on? Was it Rick? Well, Rick was the boss, of course. You had Belzer, and you had Bill Maher, and you had Adrian Tosh. But Belzer, who ran the Monday night? One of the three of those. One of the three.

And so you're just this guy, and you had an idea. Because I remember seeing a – where did I see that? The picture i used to look at and i was an idea what i was doing i was a preacher that's what you're getting ready to say right i was in a robe yeah that picture that comic strip in the robe in the preacher robe you know when you're starting you don't know what you're doing i didn't know what so you decided on a preacher i went to a little comedy school a a little comedy class, Urban Dalvin, and then Rick Overton and quite a few guys. We were in the class. Overton? Yeah, Rick Overton. Do what you do.

And all I did, you know, I'm a little country boy from Atlanta, Georgia, coming out of the church, and I would always mock the preacher, and he thought that was a great character. And I had to put on the robe and the Jewish high, highest high. And then I had the yellow page telephone book. You know, you remember the yellow page was that thick. Yeah. That was my Bible. The good book of bell,

whatever you want, look it up in the book. I was known as a Reverend George Wallace back in the day. Look it up in the book. And that was your stick. That was your hook. Yeah. And I was good at it too.

Until I got to the Neville hotel up in the, in the, in the mountains. Wait, so you're doing that preacher stick and the the phone book and it was all improvised you just kind of you what'd you go with stock jokes they were everything i was all you know it was dave they they won i didn't know shit i didn't know what i was doing but i was having fun i do have the personality to go up and sell myself that's what i think most people that's one of my formula

formula sell yourself catch rising star at that time everybody was hanging out there that was a big place i mean are you kidding me that's what david brenner was man that's where uh johnny carson would come in and uh brenner yeah and pat bannerton yeah man the biggest uh Blustein yeah oh my god and I got to go on stage and you know I your pay was a meal if you wanted a hamburger or a steak when you made it and going there and being

just being able to make people laugh you know as a young person and they had a band didn't they have Italian food there? Oh, yes. That's what I was going to say, a shrimp scampi. Oh, my God, was that good. Yeah.

And I think it was run by the Italians. Yeah. Yeah, I remember. Yeah. But that was before my time. So you started doing it, and who's your crew? It's you and Seinfeld, and who else? Well, what happened was they were also building the comic strip two blocks away.

So we were not regulars. Kelly Rogers. And like I said, Elaine Boozler and all of those guys, they were just open. Micah's everybody was, but they owned, that was their club. So yeah, the comic strip open. So we went over there. I went over there to sell them advertising. Really put them on the buses in New York city.

What was that guy's name? Richie. Richard Tinkin yeah richard tinkin and bob wax who also went on to uh manage eddie murphy right so i said i do a little after i said you need to put your business on the street and the back of all of these buses i'm gonna put you on a hundred buses going up and down second third avenue eat drink and be married to coming ship and you know back in the day you couldn't get into the clubs they were just packed yeah they were packed and so it was like a new thing yeah it was a new thing and i said i do a little comedy myself they said well come in tomorrow night thursday night and audition i went in in my robe and my telephone book and my briefcase here and just the right

reverend dr joy and they bring it up with music so i would go up on oh when the saints go marching in and the whole audience would get into we're having fun and and they brought it and and i've been on stage since every night since then and i learned as i grew i grew out of the you know you you can't do stock jokes you got to learn how to be you as they say you don't even know who you are well what was that what happened in the mountains man what was the what the, how did the good reverend end? Let me tell you something. I went up to the mountains.

There was an article yesterday. David Letterman just did an article, just did a show with Neil, I forgot Neil's name. Brennan? Brennan, yeah. And they talked about a guy that never bombs. George Wallace, that's another guy. He never bombs. But he never met me before

this night. I was up in the mountains, man. I don't know whether you've ever bombed. I like to have a good time on stage, but I was in the mountains. I had to do 45 minutes. Who the fuck told me that I could go to the mountains in front of all of the Jewish people that know all of the jokes in the world

and I had stock jokes. Somebody thought I could go up there and make $100 a night or $50 a night for 45 minutes with no real act. Right. I went on that stage, and I did my jokes. I got no laughs, no laughs for 45 minutes. That hurts. But I stayed up there.

All they were doing, cling, cling, cling, cling. No, no. This didn't hurt. This was worse than my mother's funeral. And driving from New York. Yeah, your heart died. Listen, driving from New York to back in New York,

I really, really wanted to drive off the Tappan Zee Bridge. No, you don't understand what bad is. It was bad, man. Oh, believe me. I've been doing this more than half my life. I definitely know what bad is. Not this bad. I mean, crying bad. And I got a little better. And three years later, I went back up to the Nevillee. And I did a better job. And there was an old Jewish lady.

She was a waitress there. She tapped me on the shoulder. She says, much better this time, eh? So, yeah, so I did that with the reverend. And then I learned. So the reverend died with the Jews. No, I continued to do the reverend. I got better. And then I was so good at selling advertising,

I went out to Los Angeles to sell advertising. So I did that. I had balls, man. I went to Universal. I put Diana Ross up on the bus. I put Elton John up on the buses in New York City. I was good. But so you never, you're not one of these guys sort of like only stand up.

You kind of have one foot in the regular world too, huh? Well, I had to have a financial cushion to do what i wanted to do i had a brand new link and after making that money and and and uh selling advertising and rags so i had a little money to do it and when i started i had a car if you had a car in new york city uh all the other comedians were he got a car he got a car you know you're driving them around yeah drive me and seinfelder drive around and uh did you guys were you doing road gigs here too i mean we did little things around new jersey all over and out on the island and you and jerry ben jerry and paul riser and oh yeah larry miller yeah but i i didn't stay in new york long enough i was only there for six months because of my personality i had the people going crazy and didn't standing ovation.

So, you know, once you get to be that good, it's kind of like killing at the cellar every night. Once you start killing at the cellar, maybe I should move to the bottom of another level. So that's what took me out to Los Angeles. How's Larry Miller.

You talked to him. I haven't talked to him in a while. Last time we went down to the coming of magic, he was doing okay after his accident. Okay, good. So you move out to do comedy and to sell advertising? I moved to do advertising, and then I got really into comedy at the comedy store.

They let you in? Mitzi let you in? Now let me tell you something about what happened. I went off to, I'm doing, I'm like Mr. Big Shit in New York at the Coming Strip at Catch a Rising Star and the Improv, and Good Times. I'm doing all of these stuff. With the Reverend. With the Reverend, reference the reference yeah man i was doing i don't know what you did but i was doing up to seven sets a night sure yeah running around that were you doing three clubs you do the what yeah yeah yeah running up and down just up and down yes so and you can become good

with shooting material once you get your timing down you can become good with shitty material. Once you get your timing down, you can become good. Yeah. And you only have to do 15 minutes and keep repeating it. It should get better, right? And then sometimes you do it so much. Did I do that joke already? Yeah. With my fucked up head, I'm going, did I do that joke already? They say, yes. But I don't give a shit.

I'm doing it again. So I'm going to just do it three times, you know? So, but when I got to California, I went to the comedy store. Yeah. What year is this, 78? 77. Okay. The comedy store was closed.

The comedy store was in Westwood. Robin Williams, everybody was there. David Letterman, we were all on stage together. And I went on an audition on a Monday night and I killed. And I walked off stage and I went up to Mitchie trying to get a little approval. How did I do?

You're not right for my club. Oh boy. Boy, that was like, bam, right in my heart. I'm going like, damn,

I come, I am doing well. I did. I just killed in there. Now you can't work on my club. So I said, fuck her. The next day I called him for spots.

Yeah. Five spots for the week. Then I knew she fuck her. The next day I called in for spots. Yeah. Five spots for the week. Then I knew she was crazy. She just told me last night I could not work her club. Right. Yeah. And I call in on Tuesday and I get five spots for the rest of the week and worked forever. And I'm one of the guys that have worked at the communist store and worked for the improv back in the day.

They didn't want you to work both so in 77 the the rosters was like you and letterman and leno they were bigger than me me paul paul mooney paul mooney elaine boosley uh uh oh there's so many good good billy chris all of those guys are out there you know and uh yeah uh really cool uh but but watching richard pratt work out there was awesome. Did you get to talk to him? Did you get to meet him? Yeah, I come off stage and he said, I really like what you do.

But he was awesome. I saw him. The good thing I learned about him, I saw him bomb so bad for three weeks. Yeah, I saw him bomb too. It's wild, right? Did you? But he wouldn't give in like me, like I better do something funny. He bombed so badly. So if he was doing that last album, I think, Sunset, Live on Sunset.

Right, right. He would not do Mudbone. No, I can't do Mudbone, motherfucker. And it was so bad for three weeks. He was going, well, this one ain't going to work. The fourth week, at least it's a little better than last week. Fourth, fifth week, he goes, huh? Sixth week, he goes, let's get, he's coming together.

And about after four months, you go like, this motherfucker got a show live on Sunset doing it. So that was a great learning process to watch him. You saw him build it from nothing. From nothing. Yeah. Bomb. Sam Kennison used to bomb every night.

People didn't know what the hell he was doing. Yeah, they used to clear the room. Yeah, I got an old tape of his i when i was i was a doorman at the store in 87 so i spent a lot of time yeah i spent a lot of time doing sam's coke 87 you didn't know me back then you didn't get to know me that well because by the time 85 i did the tonight show yeah you were gone 79 so i was gone I did the Tonight Show in 1979. And the next night, I was opening for Natalie Cole in front of 17,000 people. That was when you kind of did the Tonight Show. You were gone.

People were hiring you for everything. So that was the gig, right? Because you didn't have the comedy clubs yet, but you had to open for musical acts. Yes. So I opened for Natalie Cole. I worked for Donna Rossna ross george benson smoky robinson helen ready paul anchor i was with tom jones for five years i was with five years with tom jones i loved it i loved it because and then i didn't i was working with donna

ross during that disco era yeah and that was really something because she had like half i had 50 was gay one thing about the best audience in the world, black audience, Jewish audience, gay audience. So that was a mix of all three. So every night I go out there I get like a standing ovation and I got fired. Why? Because of our ego, our ego

and our attitudes. Even me and you today if there's a guy on in front of you, especially if we're headlining, if they are getting standing ovation and shit, you know, fuck off yeah it's not jealousy it's kind of like you know but she's a singer yeah but i was when you get a standing ovation in las vegas that's an extra minute and a minute and a half off the clock uh so they're like come on get out the way oh so you know so she she she fired you or the, or the hotel fired. She did. She did smoke around and said, she didn't fire you yet. I said, got fired last week. And two weeks later, she had me back

and I was working with her for another year. Did she fire you to your face? No, they call it, they go through the agent. They go through the agent and say, yeah, no, she's something happened there. And then, um, Tom Jones saw me with Diana Ross. He's coming with me. And I'm going, oh, hell no. I'm getting 17,000 people a night with Miss Ross. And her shows were amazing. Reach out and touch somebody's hand. And a comedian can get a chance to work for an audience like that.

I loved it. And so one week, Diana Ross was off. And they asked me to come in with Tom Jones. And this dude, I did not. I know it was big. She stayed in. We were working very hard, but the next night Tom Jones, 16, 17

thousand people going, what the hell? International audience, all ladies down front, throwing underwear to the stage. Right. And so I got in with him and opened for him in Caesars Palace and they told me, Mr. Wallace, it's going to be pretty bad

because the same 500 ladies come to see Tom Jones every night down front. So you'll have no you'll have no audience down front, man. But, you know, those ladies were there every night for me. And we did two shows a night. We did the same show and a lecture. No, that's what learned taught me. I've got to do some more material. Right.

Coming up with little ideas like the chandeliers. You saw those beautiful chandeliers out there? Yeah. I paid for those. A little simple shit like that. And people knew what you were talking about in the gambling. Tom Jones's ladies taught you how to write new material. Well, I knew how to write.

I knew I had to do. It was fun to write new material because you had new people coming in every night. The same ladies. You know you had to people coming in every night. The same ladies. You know you had to change it up. The same ladies. And I learned from that. And I had to do 45 minutes too. I did not have the regular 20 minutes that everybody else had.

45 before Jones? Yes. And he would be backstage sometimes. I mean, we became very close friends. And he would sometimes be behind and say, get your black ass off the stage. You know what I'm saying? So, but what fun that was.

Just a learning process, man. All I ever wanted to do was learn and work Las Vegas. Like, you know, looking back on all those people that you work with, who are the best people? Like, who do you really like? I mean, Diana seems like she sounds a little difficult. Tom seems fun. She was difficult at first because she was having her divorce with Barry Gordy.

She was having, and it was pretty big. That disco era was pretty, pretty big. And she ran the show. And this is all in Vegas or you go on the road too? No, on the road, all over America. All over America. That's quite a life, huh? Yeah, then I started with Tomones and he just turned out to be

fantastic when i got to tom jones uh he paid me more money than diana ross plus i couldn't i was not allowed to touch my luggage i was not allowed to do anything uh airplane and i sat right across from him on the plane it was really good service there and then sometimes they make a mistake and and pay me and the hotel would pay me also and i never said a damn word you know so uh tom jones donald summer was great to work with smoking robinson george benson great everybody i worked with were great to work because i demand that so that was sort of the see i guess that's why it's interesting because they're guys your age like you know who i talked to uh to brad garrett who was younger

than you but but there was there's a a world of comics that's you know the goal was to get to vegas yes at that time yes because like there wasn't uh you know when you started working there wasn't some comedy club circuit you open for musicians and then if you could get to vegas and get you know you know 50 dates a year or whatever that was the gig 50 dates a year excuse me my friend you're talking to me okay i know i'm sorry i 300 350 dates a year i was doing at least 300 dates a year because i was working for everybody like i said we were doing two shows a night yeah and and every night and tom jones sometimes did 34 weeks a year just on the road all over right you go to vegas two or three times lake tahoe

atlantic city radio city music hall racetracks outdoors 70 000 people just everywhere all of the local venues but see like the i guess the thing is like so you know by the time comedy clubs came around you were already dug into making a lot of money in the in the old school way but you never wanted to do tv you never wrote tv or nothing could you say that again by the time comedy clubs came around enough people knew me from the tour that i would bring those people into the comedy clubs and i wanted the first guy to say give me 90 of the door oh so that's how you did it that's why i made a lot of money because i had the tom jones people i had also the people from the tonight show i had to be from arsenio i had

audience coming from everywhere always a mixed audience black white young old and sold out i would add shows sometimes five shows a day give me 85 90 of the door so you did the door deals you invented the door deal you get the drinks i'll take the i'll take the cash yes yes yes and so and there were only the big clubs birmingham alabama atlanta georgia san francisco uh that would they were going to be full either way but for sure we were going to add shows when uh when i came to town so that so when the comedy club explosion happened you already had a built-in audience because you built it. Yes, yes, yes.

Plus, I was the one that could promote. I'm an advertising entrepreneur. I know how to go to the local radio station. I don't mind getting up at 6 o'clock in the morning and doing the radios. I had to learn to do, if you had a choice to do radio or television in the mornings to attract an audience,

always do radio. People watching on TV, they're at home yeah they don't have jobs and everyone's listening to radio yes so i learned how to do that and i enjoy i love working i just look what we do man come on i don't do my thing right now when i go and say i just love the people i got i'm blessed i got the greatest job in the world and all i do is lie i just i just lie i mean now i got to the point. Now I just make up shit. You can be president.

That's, that's the ending joke. I want to be the greatest bullshit in the world, but Trump is kicking my ass right now. Well, he's got now. Let's retire that joke. Yeah.

Did you work? How much TV did you do? Did you care about TV? No, I wasn't into that. All I just want to do is it's like today. I'm not into television, even though I have two television shows,

I just turned down a TV show with a not turned out. And I was writing, I was, I had a show with Jamie Foxx. I was a second leader after him. Uh, lead role. Uh,

it's called daddy's stop embarrassing me. Yeah. And we shut down on March 13 because of COVID. And I wouldn't go back with Netflix. I wouldn't go back because I'm black. It wasn't a good time to fly. All of the pre-existing conditions, maybe my blood pressure was borderline.

And I decided I don't want to go back because you have to live in a hotel going back and forth. I made the right decision. And I was making tons of money. They were paying me tons of money. But I decided not to go back. So that was a good TV show. Now I have a new deal with a guy by the name of Norman Lear. You probably never heard of this guy. He's an older guy. He's 97 years old. You think, yeah, I have a deal with him on the shelf

right now. So I'm slowly transferring into television and movies because I work, you know, I'm a resident in Las Vegas. I work when I want to work. I own my show in Las Vegas. We'll talk about that later, but. You didn't do any writing early on. You just, this is all new. Oh, this one I started on. Let me put this. I did. When I got in 1977, I got to the comedy store. I was on stage and the producers were inside for the red box show. And then at the time they said, we think you should, we would like for you to come write on the Red Fox show.

And I said, oh, I don't know. I don't want to. I didn't know anything about being a job as a writer. They said, we know you can do it. You've got to do it. I said, I don't think so. And this sounded kind of crazy at the time, but they did tell me, well, it's $3,500 a week. And I said, well, maybe I can come up with a little something.

So, but I did that. So I did write, the show was only on for one year. It was not Saffron and Son. It was a show that was on after Saffron and Son. What was it like working with Red? No idea. The show, I was on Dave Osborne, Sergeant, what was his name? Officer Don Officer something like that, he was my producer Dave Osborne, he's the guy that produced the Smothers Brothers show, we would sit there and write

the Red Fox show in somewhere in California, we'd write the show the show was shot at CBS and it was on ABC. And the damn one, how'd they do this shit? They shoot it one studio and then it airs on ABC.

Was it Bob Einstein? Bob Einstein. Yeah. That's Albert Brooks' brother. Yeah, all of us are done. Yeah. Yeah. We were real boys. He died last year. Fantastic guy. And I wish I could have worked longer in writing.

Writing is good. I can write now, but I was not a good writer back then. So you never got to work with Red? You wrote at one place, and then they just do it? We'd go over and see him. Yeah. We'd go over when we shot the show, and then he knew me as a comic, and so we did it that way.

But I met a lot of people. Nice guy? Yeah, very nice guy. But, man, did he do a lot of drugs. Yeah But I met a lot of people. Nice guy? Yeah, very nice guy. But man, did he do a lot of drugs. Yeah. He did a lot of drugs. That's where I first met Muhammad Ali. Muhammad Ali came to CBS and he walked straight into the studio.

He said he walked straight to me because I'm his size. Yeah. And he says, I'm the greatest of all time. I said, come on. I said, I'm good too. So we'd go back and forth. And it was good working for Red. We had a lot of fun.

So how does Vegas work? Because I know you had your own show there for a long time. You still got it? I don't like Vegas, so I don't go there. But any time I go there, I see you on a billboard. Yeah, I had more billboards in Las Vegas than any hotel because I went into Las Vegas. Because you're in advertising.

Because I'm, ooh, there you go. I knew how to buy four boards and make them give me six. I said, you got all these boards out on the street that are closed, there's nothing on them. Put me on them and trust me, other people in Las Vegas will follow my run. Guess what? I did a lot of things. I was very creative

in Las Vegas. People had one truck, you know, the advertising truck goes up and down Las Vegas. I put five up. With your face on it. Back to back to back to back to back. And everybody in Las Vegas was going, that's so stupid. Why would he put up five trucks back to back to back to back to back to back?

And all I have to say is, you're talking about it. Yeah. They'll remember. You're talking about it. And so what happened when I got to Las Vegas? I bought the show. I own the show. I never worked for the hotels. Well, how does that what does that mean?

What do you mean you bought the show? It's called full walling. I rent a room. Right. So at the Flamingos, 800 seats every night. I rent a room and it was tough. I didn't take any money for the first year. I put my money back out into the streets.

I walked every day to every hotel and shook every concierge's hand and let them know you got a new show in town. Really? What year was this? 2004 to 2014. So you're working the streets. You're going up to the guys, the concierges. I'm George Wallace. I got the show. Yeah. And it's different. Come over and see it. Here's two tickets for you. Come over. I didn't give a damn what they sold the tickets as long as they were happy. That's why I have worked Las Vegas more shows than most people, but definitely more shows than any African-American.

That includes Red Pox, Sammy Davis Jr., Lena Horne, Diana Ross. I've done more shows in Las Vegas than any other African-American entertainer. So the show was, so it wasn't, the hotel didn't pay for it. You rented the space, but you had to abide by their time, right? Yeah. I took a 10 o'clock spot because I thought people, I thought more people liked to laugh at 10. And that worked.

Because had I gone at eight, I would have to compete against all of the other shows, Cirque du Soleil and all of those bigger shows. So then and also decreased the amount of shows at 10. And people wanted to come out and people came from everywhere. I also had a backing in radio. So I forgot to tell you that I was doing radio, nationwide radio with Tom Joyner. So it was in 100 markets across America.

So I had that following, too, to bring in my my my audience and my market and people. Wow. So I built that following, too, to bring in my audience and my market. And people would come in and say my name. So I built that up. After the first year, it was just a gravy train, huh? And after the first year, it was pretty hard. It takes that long to catch on. You got to get your niche. Right.

And you were doing just straight stand-up? Just straight stand-up. And then after it started to grow, and I brought in other entertainers with me to have fun with. And I was kind of a crazy guy. I brought in, and you're not going to believe this, I had Jennifer Holliday. I had War. These people were opening for me. I had so many other people. I'm the first guy to bring in Sly and the Family Stone after 25 years of being on stage.

It's after that night he did like the Grammys and walked off. With the weird mohawk, the blonde mohawk? Yeah, you remember. Yeah. You remember? Yeah. I said, I want him because he was my favorite entertainer when I was in college. How do you do enough? I got him to come to Las Vegas.

They had odds. 41. That's that. Sky would not show up 41. And he was late, scared the shit out of me. And I was smart enough to know Mark. I was smart enough to know,

like this guy's working for me but i'm not gonna open he's not gonna open for me right that's his show i open for him i don't give a shit i'm the one making the money you know yeah so um so we did that and i brought an entertainer that how do you do how did how did so i do fucked up the place man it was uh people were crying he hadn't been on stage in 20, 25 years. His kids were going to see daddy. It was, it was so big that it was on the, on the billboards that I sold in New York sliding the family stone,

Las Vegas. That's it's all documented. You can go online and pick it up right now. You can get George Wallace was sliding the family stone in Las Vegas. He came out on stage and he sang those old songs. Like I said, he was 20 minutes late. Some people walking out. I know this is bullshit. I know he was here because he never showed up on time when he was back in the day.

Right. We were in college. Yeah. People walking. I know there's some bullshit. Get the fuck out of there. We're walking out. But the few people that the people that did stay out of the 800.

Yeah. Only sold 500 tickets a night because I knew I had to promote and give other tickets away. But he come out and he started singing and he had to get into it. And he started singing, if you want me to stay. And then he got into the other song, Dance and Hire. And all of a sudden, people were crying

on top of the tables. It was stupid. He was only out there for 25 minutes. And they loved it? And that was fine with me. That was fine with me. And I was on stage. That slide, that slide. And this guy was so good. He was only out there for 25 minutes. And they loved it? And that was fine with me. That was fine with me. And I was on stage. That slide, that slide. And this guy was so good.

He went around from the back of the house to the front of the house. And he came down from the front of the house and came back on stage again. And it was amazing. So I love that. And I have all of this stuff documented. Maybe I should put it out, some of the things I've done in Las Vegas. Who else? Jennifer Holliday.

Like I said, War. I had a group called, a young group called Mosaic. We were probably the most, and it's one of those new groups the kids sing without music, but they make their own music and sound like a group. Yeah. And the place became a talent show, and they would come out, and they would be my opening act, and we'd have music on stage,

and I started giving away shit. I wanted to be the Black Oprah. I thought I was a rich black lady. Yeah. Giving away shit, giving away diamonds. I gave away a car. So you did this for 10 years? Yeah.

I did it for 10 years until one night a friend of mine came on stage and said, all right, we've been here long enough, and we're going to close down this year. So that was my best friend of 45 years. Who's that? So we tend to listen to each other. That's Seinfeld. Oh, yeah. That's Seinfeld.

Yeah. So if you really look into it, like George on Seinfeld, that's actually pretty much me. I'm the one. I'm the one that was his real roommate for 13 years. Yeah. You lived with him for 13 years? Oh, yeah. We shared apartment for 13 years.

129 West 81st Street right there in New York City. Why for so long well how are we to make money that long what do you mean but you were both do like you were traveling around though right you weren't always there he wasn't always making money his ass was broke yeah yeah so you just split the apartment and you you both you used it when you were in new york yeah and then we were there quite a bit but not a lot you know yeah i was best man in his wedding i always like to throw this joke into and i'm the father his kids you know so we're pretty close you know so but uh i wish everybody had a friend like jerry and like i said today i'm surprised he hasn't interrupted this call it's just good to have a friend like that you know yeah that's why i'm so blessed to have my best friend is the number one man making money in the comedy so i look at it like this mark and i take

advantage of it you know he got a boat he got a yacht not a yacht he got a jet i got a jet so we're just that close in friendship so well i'm glad you guys have the same toys oh we've done some stupid stuff with the toys, you know, but, and life is good. Comedy is good too. Now, I don't know about you. Are you like, I can't wait to get back on stage, but I can wait. Yeah, I'm okay. You know, I, I've been, you know, I do this.

I do. I talked to a lot of people on this show and I've been doing the, I, I, I, the break hasn't been terrible. It's been terrifying, but it hasn't been terrible. Right, right. Now, what's this book? You put out a book of your tweets? I can't believe I'm talking to you. You know, the Twitter world became so big.

I'm like two, three years late. I started in like 2011. Yeah. And putting out jokes on those tweets, little online ramblings from my head. Bull twit and whatnot. Bull twit. I wanted to say bullshit, but I said,

oh, let's change it to bull twit and whatnot whatnot becomes such an interesting part whatnot is the biggest word in the world that means i can do anything right and whatnot so it's not just not just tweets it's not tweets at all i don't know what the fuck yeah it's online because it don't make sense to me because i got to do this in 140 characters right you know my jokes i got to do this in 140 characters right you know my jokes are not even structured let alone 140 characters so i started little things uh like uh and i waited for a while why should i do my jokes and give them away to people and then hit me that well you know there's 500 million tweets per day and some of these people

across the world they're never going to get to see me yeah why don't i share some of these people across the world, they're never going to get to see me. So why don't I share some of these jokes with some of these people? And it became so successful and people like it. And it's like online ramblings on my head. And I do like stupid stuff like the top nine. Shout out to the top nine. Shout out to the top five bells in the world. So there's little things like Liberty Bell, Saved by the Bell. And I go on to how many other bells.

But little things in the book. The book is online, and people are buying it like crazy. I'm already into my second printing, Bull Twit. And you self-published it? Yes, I did, of course. And the quality of the book is so good. And I'm doing stupid shit, Mark. This book you got your eyes on here is i

hope i put it up right for the bathroom you put it and read it in the bathroom no you don't read this in the bathroom you can but it's a great coffee table people buy the book sells for 1995 but if you buy five books i will charge you 120 because i do stupid shit like that yeah and people are falling for it i have have a hard copy here, which I should have sent you. Did you get a copy of the book from me? I did not. Oh, my God. And this hardcover, it's $140.

Yeah, what happened, Mr. Promotion? Where's my fucking book? I guess that's your fuck you, isn't it? You'll get a book coming. I hope you get a chance to read it. I know we're so busy. People send us so much books and shit. We don't get to read everything, you know?

I know. I know. I know. That's true. That's true. But you should get one because this is a good book. I'm getting ready to go into my second book called More Bull Twit. But what I really wanted to write a book about, Mark, was How Trump Fucked Up My Life.

That's the book I wanted to write. What? Yeah, I wanted to write a book about, Mark, was how Trump fucked up my life. That's the book I wanted to write. What? Yeah, I wanted to write a book. And I should have done it six months ago. How Trump fucked up my life. You know that guy? Let's talk about it. Oh, my.

I can't believe we haven't talked about it. Yesterday was like a relief. Like the black people say, I was born again in God. I don't know what happened yesterday. The stress off my shoulder was just crazy. For everybody, man. I felt so good. Yeah. I don't know what happened yesterday. The stress off my shoulder was just crazy. For everybody, man. I felt so good. I don't know what Biden has done today, but yesterday

was so good. I called him a walking circus peanut. That orange fucker. He messed up my life romantically so, financially so, mentally so, relationship wise, my family. I can't go visit my family. It really

screwed up my life. And I've been confined here in this condo in Atlanta since March. Did you ever know that guy? Did you ever work at his hotel? Did you ever meet him? I stayed in his hotel one time. When Jerry got married, everybody stayed at his hotel. I don't like it.

I had a chance to meet him one time when some friends of mine were on uh what's the name of his show apprentice apprentice yeah and i just never liked him and i just because i because i'm from new york i live in new york and i know we know bulls**ters and i knew yeah i didn't want i i did conan once and he was on with me and and the segment producer asked me if i wanted to meet him and i said no no no so that's my magician friend's name out in uh in las vegas the two guys uh oh penn and teller penn and teller so i went to support them in new york city at the finals yeah and they said trump is coming and you want to meet i said fuck no

yeah i don't even want to shake hands when to get him. And now Florida is the most fucked up state in America, right? Yeah. And now this idiot is down there even more fucked up. Yeah, yeah. He's the king of Florida. They don't want him down there, so they got to get rid of him. They got to get rid of this guy. It's nice to have him off our back.

It was good talking to you, George. Did we do anything? Did I say anything, Mark? I want to thank you for having me on the show. I love talking to you. I want you to call Jerry Seinfeld and tell him what a good time we had. He actually told me to tell you hello. I know.

Tell him hello. I'm serious. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Me and Jerry, we had a nice meeting of the minds, me and Jerry. I know everything comes down. Trust me.

I need to thank you for having me on. I don't know what I've ever been on with you before, and I heard so much about you, and I know you're so great. And I learn from guys like you. You don't know that, do you? I like watching other comedians and learning from younger comedians than myself. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, because you guys are, you know, I'm old school, you i like watching other comedians and learning from younger comedians than myself oh yeah yeah because you guys are you know i'm old school but you guys and i have to go on to show you that i'm still kicking ass i have to prove myself oh no i watch you you got everything lands man you're punching away you don't fuck around it's all coming down that might be i'm trying to change because when i when i go on stage i do go up there work. I do go up there to kick ass. I talk too fast, and I need to calm down and just do half the material. So what I'm going to do when I do go back, Mark, I've got so much new material to talk about. You're going to slow down?

Yeah, because I'm going to slow down. I'm going to be a new me. I want to talk about some things I didn't get a chance to talk about last year. I mean, it sounds like you'll be loaded you'll be you'll be ready to go when this shit lifts i think so i keep saying i'm gonna have to have a new show but i'm gonna be ready to go and what i'm also gonna do mark some jokes i did 30 years ago that the young kids maybe nobody remember i'm gonna bring them in as new jokes they won't know the difference yeah why not it's time to recycle those fuckers recycle yeah because i did a joke i got lots of jokes i could bring back but i got so much new stuff i enjoy

doing the new jokes i think about that too like there was a lot of jokes that i did before anybody knew who i was that were great jokes and no one knows them all you need to do is be funny you deliver that joke and that's what they're going to remember you by right if they leave going that guy was hilarious that's okay and if they leave going like i hope by. If they leave going, that guy was hilarious, that's okay. And if they leave going like, I hope that guy's okay, that's okay. As long as they don't say, he was pretty funny. Oh yeah, or like

I don't remember anything he said. He's pretty funny. You're pretty good. What does that mean? You were one of the best, buddy. It's great talking to you. I wish you the best. Stay healthy. You got to deal. I'm going to stay healthy. I'm going to stay smart. I'm going to stay home. It's great talking to you. I wish you the best. Stay healthy. You got to deal. I'm going to stay healthy.

I'm going to stay smart. I'm going to stay home. And I'm going to stay black. How about that? Okay. I believe you. Take it easy, George. God bless you, man.

See you. There you go. The book. Go look at his Twitter feed. The book is bull twit and whatnot at georgewallace.net. So, all right, take care of yourselves. Seriously. Try to understand that most of us are in some sort of fairly deep PTSD,

and it's going to take a bit. It's a little daunting. It's a little daunting. It's a little weird. There's a space to it. There's a darkness to it still, and also a darkness to the reality we're living in, even though the monster's gone. All right?

I'll play a little guitar here. A little dirty stuff. Okay. Thank you. so Boomer lives. Monkey La Fonda. Cat angels everywhere. Boomer lives. Monkey. La Fonda. Cat angels everywhere. Right? You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. We'll see you next time. Discover the timeless elegance of Cozy, where furniture meets innovation. Designed in Canada, the sofa collections are not just elegant, they're modular, designed to adapt and evolve with your life. Reconfigure them anytime for a fresh look or a new space. Experience the Cozy difference with furniture that grows with you, delivered to your door quickly and for free.

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