WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 1259 - Sasheer Zamata

Episode Date: September 6, 2021

Sasheer Zamata doesn't have a ton of free time. She's on the Hulu series Woke, the ABC sitcom Home Economics, a voice actor, a standup, a podcast host and an ambassador for the ACLU. This all happened in the wake of her departure from Saturday Night Live, which started with a very rare public audition process that put her immediately in the spotlight. Sasheer talks with Marc about having the courage to walk away, how she and Nicole Byer are actual best friends, as the title of their podcast says, and what it means that she was “friends with Pluto” during her time working at Disney World. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Give to Planned Parenthood. Figure out how you can help if there is any help to be had. Anyway, aside from that, today on the show, Sashir Zameda is here. She was a cast member on Saturday Night Live after a very rare and intense, very public auditioning process. And since she left SNL, she's been doing stand-up, voiceovers, the podcast Best Friends with

Nicole Byer, the ABC show Home Economics, the Hulu show Woke, and ambassador work for the ACLU. Busy person. And we had tried to talk at another time, and this is the time it happened. It was very nice to talk to her. It was a good chat. How is it going, man?

Was it too negative an opening? Was I too intense up top? I'm getting edgy. I'm getting callous. But I'm working, you know? I'm going out there, and I'm doing thegy. I'm getting callous. But I'm working, you know. I'm going out there and I'm doing the comedy every night. And it's been great to hang out with the other comics. It's just there's this haunted feeling.

And I really don't want to be negative. And I do find day to day hope. But lately, what I've been doing is check in with the news to see the progress of the collapsing democracy and the progress of our eroding and violently dangerous environmental collapse. Those are the two things. That's all the news right there. How are we going to survive environmentally in the future and will we all be killed by our neighbors is that too dark well i i've got some i got some happier stuff i do i i things are okay you know i'm going to doctor tomorrow for a checkup

you know because i i'm i'm having a little difficulty with my diet. I told you about the Largo performance. Now, the guy who works with Jimmy Vivino as his guitar tech is this guy, Barry Skills. Great guy. He's been helping me with my guitars, getting everything in shape. Well, he also does tech work, guitar stuff, and kind of road mangy road tech work for patty smith and he told me patty smith was going to be playing out at pappy and harriet's in the desert in joshua tree and i've been there once with dean just to get food so i kind of knew where it was but i've never seen a show out there

so i asked barry i said look man do you think i could go see patty she's just doing this trio thing with her bass player and her son and they go through the catalog and it's nice i hear sometimes she reads some poetry but i always like seeing patty smith and i've only seen her once and it was amazing so i asked barry i asked skills can you think i can get in there and he's like i don't know i gotta check and then i like should i just ask patty and i don't look i have guests on here and uh you know i don't ever pester them or follow up but i happen to have her number and i have not really talked to her since a day or two after she did the show but i just said fuck it you know end times i texted patty and i said hey can i go to the show with my friend kit and she's like uh let me check and then she's like no problem and check. And then she's like, no problem. And then out of nowhere, she says, you know, Barry says that you play guitar.

Do you want to sit in on the, you know, people have the power. And I'm like, what? I don't know what. So in my experience with this type of thing, my impulse is to say yes, but then that's hijacked by my impulse to realize like if i say yes i'm not going to be able to enjoy the show i'm going to start worrying now two days ahead of the of the show uh and i'm going to freak out and it's just going to be panic all the way up until the moment i get on stage and then i'm going to hate myself for nothing uh for you know fucking up a chord or a note or not doing it right. And the entire experience is going to be selfish and

stupid. And I'll just collapse into myself in a weird tornado of insecurity that does nothing but make me want to disappear. Oddly, the tornado and the disappearing thing happens at the same time. I have an amazing balance. I don't know if it's a Libra thing, but my empathy for human beings is matched only by my contempt. So I thought it through, though. And after my recent experience on stage, I was like, you know what, dude, just go have fun. You know, just play the song. Learn the song.

I said, yes, I'll play. So I learned the song. It's on acoustic. I get out there. And I got to be honest with you, folks. I used to be jealous of the people who got on it and bought homes in Joshua Tree because there's always part of me that thinks, well, that'd be nice to have a place out in the desert or have a place anywhere. But then I think about when I'm not there, which will probably be most

of the time, what's going to be happening with the place and why do I have it? But anyway, all these hipsters that moved out there to live among the desert hippies and off the gritters and true lizard people, you know, with their hipster skirts and their hipster haircuts and their sleeve tats and whatnot. And there are three places to get coffee and their Airstream trailers. All these people that moved out there. I don't know, man. Seems like the environmental axe is coming down. out there i don't know man seems like the environmental axe is coming down and i hope you enjoy the desert so much to the to the degree that in about two years it's probably going to be about 145 degrees in the summer out there so enjoy joshua tree enjoy that piece of property

when it's 157 out and your air conditioner doesn't work and you're wondering why you're always thirsty as you try to get to your car your land rover or your classic vehicle wow why do i gotta hurt people why just enjoy life man just take it in so i get out there to pappy and harriet's i get out there early and uh and it was like during gloria skills told me to get ready get on the side of the stage and it was dusty there and it almost rained. It was one of those nights where it was fucking kind of mystical and weird. So I get up there, get ready to go on. They call me up and Skills throws a guitar at me and I'm in it.

And I was in it and it was great. And I was just hanging out up there with Jackson playing for Patti Smith on The People Have the Power. And it was moving. And I just adore her and she's always amazing. And it was an amazing experience, but, and I, and this is a small, but as great as it was, we all leave the stage and they all get into a car. So that means I'm just there realizing that was the closer. We're not going back. We're not going back.

I'm not going back. My guitar is in there. And people are going to be leaving in a flurry out of the desert. So I had to think fast. And I tell Kit, I'm like, just hang out. And I run back in to the outdoor venue, I guess you would call it. I run across the stage in front of it. I say, I get my guitar from Skills.

I'm like, give me the guitar. My guitar, man. Good job. Thanks. And I run across the stage in front of it. I say, I get my guitar from Skills. I'm like, give me the guitar. My guitar, man. Good job. Thanks. And I run and I just grab Kit and I'm like, we got to get out of here, man. They're all staying. We got to get out of here. So I ran to the car, which is parked in a good place.

And I threw the guitar in the car and we just bolted. We got out ahead of the crowd. And again, and I've talked about this before. I talked about it at the about the Stones concert on my special. But there's nothing more gratifying than like doing that thing where where, you know, you just act impulsively and you you're on top of it and you avoid something that could be, this is, I wouldn't say traumatic, but annoying. And we just got out ahead of it. It was like hit and run, man. And we're out and we're on the road. And I'd gotten into my head that, you know, tonight's the night we're having In-N-Out Burger. And we stopped and we had In-N-Out Burger, got out under the wire, played with Patti Smith.

That was the, it was the whole arc of experience. Knowing that I could do it and learning the song and being in it, being present for it, not being freaked out, enjoying being on stage with Patti and her people, getting off, freaking out, grabbing guitar, getting out ahead of the traffic, onto the road and stopping at an In-N-Out Burger

and just inhaling a Double Double. Now, out of those three things, equally as exciting, the Patti Smith part, the most memorable, life-changing thing. In-N-Out Burger, didn't feel great about it, but it was happening awesome getting out ahead of traffic that was a rush big night drug-free fun and thank you patty for having me so right now it's uh it's time to talk to sashira zameda uh as i said before she was a on on Saturday Night Live and she had this very dramatic process getting on it. You might know her from the show Woke. She's also on the ABC show Home Economics. She has a podcast called Best Friends with Nicole Byer. Now she's on my podcast

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Out. So you just moved recently? In April, yeah. Oh. So have you gone through all your shit? Yeah, actually. I had a couple months where I could unpack a ton of stuff. And then I had to leave and shoot in Atlanta for two months.

Wow. Is it wild to go through shit? Yeah. I don't know how much stuff gets sent to your podcast. Yeah. A bit. Right? Yeah.

But where do they send it? P.O. Box? They were sending it to Earwolf for a while, and then now they'll send it to a P.O. Box. But they didn't know your house address? No, I try not to have anyone know my house address. It's hard to keep it hidden. Yeah.

I'm trying my hardest. Yeah, I do too. And then I fucked up. Yeah. Because I built this out, this thing. I built this. This was a garage room and then I had to make it like an apartment. Yeah. Which it is. Yeah.

But I didn't, I got the permit in my name as opposed to the trust or what. Yeah. I bought my house in a trust. Yeah. I tried to use my PO box for everything. Yeah. So you're still hidden? So far.

I'm sure someone will figure it out, but I'm hoping. But then I started doing Instagram lives from my porch, so I might as well just advertise. I mean, truly. Yeah. May as well just be in front of the cross street. Well, now they know. Yeah. Now I just have to trust them.

Yeah. I have to trust that the weirdos are not going to be dangerous ones. I know. Hopefully. Yeah. Do you have any dangerous weirdos? Bad question. So far, not dangerous. Good.. I know. Hopefully. Yeah. Do you have any dangerous weirdos? Bad question. So far, not dangerous.

Good. I don't. Yeah. Yeah. When I was living in New York, this guy frequented a variety show I used to host. Oh, yeah. And I could recognize his laugh. Oh, yeah.

So I would hang back and make sure I didn't run into him. Yeah. And then one day he found me at a different show that I wasn't even hosting. And it was my birthday. Happy birthday. I mean, yeah. What a surprise. And he brought a plush Starship Enterprise because my name's from Star Trek.

So he was like, oh, you would like the Star Trek reference. He was like, happy birthday. So wait, so it's from Star Trek? Yeah. Yeah. My parents were Trekkies. They were? Are they still? Yeah, still are. Yeah wait, so it's from Star Trek? Yeah, yeah. My parents were Trekkies. They were? Are they still? Yeah, still are.

Yeah. I'm pretty sure they still watch. Do they watch the Baby Yoda one? Or that's Star Wars. That's Star Wars. Yeah. Star Trek's different. He'd be so upset that you said that.

I'm such not a nerd. Wow, that's wild. Yeah. They were like, actually, I didn't get the full story until recently. They were on a wine tour. I didn't realize. In California? Yeah. Uh-huh. actually I didn't get the full story until recently they were on a wine tour I didn't realize in California yeah and they were

drunk watching Star Trek and drunk on wine yeah watching Star Trek as you do and

Captain Kirk was flirting with this alien princess and he gives her a flower a rose right and also the title

of the episode was by any other name and she goes oh we have something like this on my planet except it's made out of crystal And he gives her a flower, a rose. Right. And also the title of the episode was By Any Other Name. And she goes, oh, we have something like this on my planet, except it's made out of crystal and it's called Sashir. Wow. Yeah. And that was it. And that was it.

They wrote that down. And that's the only place that name exists? Well. I mean, if you looked it up, was it a made up thing by a writer? Yeah. Well, that, I mean, in that context, but there are people who have the name sashir like when facebook started and it was just college students i was the only sashir yeah but then when they expanded to other people it was like me and like a bunch of indian men so there are

there are other sashirs out there i wonder if that's the source of the name probably maybe it started in india maybe i have an an India issue right now related to smells. It's, I don't know. Someone sent me a bar of Ayurvedic Indian soap. It's a brand. They have, I can't remember the name of the brand. So I'm like, all right, this might be nice. I opened it and I put it in my bathroom.

The entire house smells like an Indian spice store now. Oh, interesting. I guess. I think I might like that though. It's pretty put it in my bathroom. The entire house smells like an Indian spice store now. Oh, interesting. I guess. I think I might like that though. It's pretty, it's all right. I mean, it's a nice smell. Yeah. I don't know what it's supposed to do or mean.

I don't know what Ayurvedic soap does. Yeah, I don't either. Do you like, are we talking about soaps now? I guess so. I do like soaps. Like different smelly soaps? Yeah. I feel like I've also seen lots of Ayurvedic things online where it's like massages or facials.

And food. And food, which is like, I mean, they're on to something. I don't know. It's a discipline of some sort. I don't know what religion it comes from or what the source of it is, but yeah, it's a holistic approach to life. Yeah. Yeah. That's what people do.

That's what, I was thinking about that because your podcast, I'm thinking about podcasts because I do a podcast, but it's like, I think most people do, whether they want to or not or whether they think about it

or not, are doing lifestyle podcasts. Mm-hmm. Don't you? Oh, for sure. Everyone wants to know how everyone's living. Well, yeah.

How are you doing and are you doing it better than me and how can I do it like you? Do you think sure. Everyone wants to know how everyone's living. How are you doing? And are you doing it better than me? And how can I do it like you? Do you think about that? Like when you guys do the podcast, when you do the show, do you have an approach where you're like, because I didn't realize it until recently. I mean, I talk about stuff and I just started doing another podcast. I do a podcast with my friend Dean. But whether you know it or not, once you start talking about your life, people are

listening to it for life things. Yeah. We actually don't plan anything, which maybe we should one day. But it's like, you know, it's called Best Friends. So, and Nicole and I are best friends. You are really best friends? We are actually best friends. And you can work together and still be best friends? Yeah. I know. I feel really

lucky. It's like not common. How often do you record? We try to bank episodes. Like every couple of weeks, we'll do a couple episodes. Oh, that's good. All right. Well, I see. So you're not wearing out the friendship by only conversing publicly?

No. Do you still socialize privately? Oh, yeah. Actually, yesterday we recorded for two hours, and then we had dinner last night. And said nothing. Yeah, they were like, I ran out. Actually, it's crazy. Nicole's the only person, like, when we lived in New York, we spent so much time together

because we would, like, go to auditions together. We would do UCB together. We would do improv shows at night together. And then we'd get dinner together. And then we'd go home and call each other on the phone. Like, we were very obsessed with each other. That's sweet. Doesn't she have some kind of food show on the phone. We were very obsessed with each other. That's sweet. Doesn't she have some kind of food show on the air now?

Nailed it, yeah. She's actually nominated for an Emmy for that. Oh. I know. I just see the billboard. I didn't see the show. The billboard seemed funny. But it's one of those things where because I'm getting old and I don't pay attention to everything,

almost every billboard on Sunset, I'm like, who the fuck is that? Who's the one named guy who's playing in Vegas? Yeah. They're always DJs. But i saw her billboard yeah yeah what's that what's the angle on that it's a competition show like the opposite of like a regular composite competition like people there's like novices who are not necessarily chefs or bakers and they're all trying to bake replicas of an actually good cake oh so it so it's going to be funny. It's funny, yeah. So they make really bad cakes, and then she makes fun of it, and it's great. Can't lose with amateurs trying to do something that they can't really do.

Yeah. Do you cook? I don't. I don't. It doesn't bring me joy. I love to eat, but I don't really like the process of cooking. Yeah, I'm in the midst of a sort of a food shame spiral. It's awesome.

Yeah? Yeah. I just, if I go work on the road, eventually, you know, when I get home, I'm just like, pizza's okay. Yeah. It's not okay. It's never okay. It's great.

It's not okay though. Yeah. During the pandemic, I feel like I did a really good job of eating, trying to eat vegan. You did? Yeah. We'll try. How'd you do that? They brought it in?

Your boyfriend cooked vegan? No. Well, he cooked for us, but I ordered purple carrot. We'll try. How'd you do that? They brought it in? Your boyfriend cooked vegan? No. Well, he cooked for us, but I ordered purple carrot. Oh, yeah. What's that? It's like a meal service, like HelloFresh, but just vegan food. Right. Got it.

But then I started thinking about carbs, and now that I have too much carbs, there's always a thing where it's like- Too much carbs in the vegan. Yeah. Yeah. You got to have something. What were you doing for protein? See, it's a lifestyle show.

Yeah. What was I doing for Protein? I don't know. I was just trusting the box. I was trusting whatever they had in here. I was like, I hope it's in here. They know what they're doing. They know what's up.

They're professionals. But then, yeah, now that the world's back open and I was shooting in Atlanta for two months and then everything went out the window. What were you shooting down there? Woke. Woke season two. I watched a few of those. It's funny.

I like it. Thanks. Yeah, I like it too. You guys are great. What's that guy's name? Lamorne Morris. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, the whole thing's kind of funny.

I just watch parts of the first season. But I don't watch a lot of television for whatever reason. I don't know why. But I like when it's a self-aware show. You're not trying to make some sort of reality frame. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's elements of him halluc show. You're not trying to make some sort of reality frame. You know what I mean? There's elements of him hallucinating. I like it.

It was funny. I thought it was a good show. Well, thank you. Which studio were you shooting down there? We were in Aria Studios. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tyler Perry's old studio. His old place?

Yeah. The old... The leftovers. The remnants. Do you like... I was in Atlanta for a couple weeks doing the aretha movie oh nice and uh did you do any comedy did you go over the vortex i didn't actually even though we were very close i like it's hard for me to split my brain like when i'm shooting yeah and be like oh yeah now i also need to think about performing i mean not entirely but i think because there was such a long break where i wasn't on stage anytime i had a show like my anxiety would

start spiraling like old time like old timey anxiety like from the beginning yeah yeah because i'm like was i ever funny how do i say words again do i do this yeah but then i do it and it's like oh of course it's fine but yeah just the lead up to it would just be like a little much it's crazy yeah i i when i was during the pandemic i really i was like no maybe i don't need to do it anymore like i didn't miss it yeah i was like maybe maybe i'm okay now i don't need to rely on strangers to you know to make me feel loved or uh accepted yeah but as soon as people started doing it i'm like i know i gotta get back. I know. So where'd you grow up? I grew up in Indianapolis, mostly. My dad was in the Air Force, so we moved around a bunch.

Air Force. But most of my life was in Indianapolis, Indiana. Is that a good city? Yeah. Is it? So you really think of it as home? I do. Yeah, my mom's still there.

My brother, most of her side of the family's there. They're all there. They're all there, yeah. It's kind of become now our spot because everyone's moved from other places to Indianapolis. I don't have a real sense of it, but I used to do gigs up there. There was the comedy, what was it called? There was one downtown, and then there was one out in Broad Ripple. It was Morty's.

No, not Morty's. Crackers, right. There was a Crackers downtown and a Crackers in Broad Ripple. It was Morty's. No, not Morty's. Crackers, right. There was a Crackers downtown and a Crackers in Broad Ripple. And Chicken Patty used to run it. And they used to put us up at this halfway house. This horrendous residence that they owned. Yeah. It was back in the day of the worst kind of comedy condo.

There was literally police lines. Like, what happened here? So my memories are a little hazy. Right, right hazy. I go to Bloomington though to work. I love Bloomington. Yeah. Do you go out there to do the comedy attic? Yeah. Yeah. I like it a lot. It's a good space. Jared. Yeah. Jared.

Yeah. It's great space. Yeah. It's small. Yeah. You really get work done. For sure. Yeah. It's a great place to work stuff out. And I've always had good shows there. So you grew up there and you have a lot of brothers and sisters? Just one brother. How's that guy?

He's good. He's still in Indianapolis. He's an artist. Painter? Kind of everything, like graphic stuff. He paints. He sculpts. He's still in school, so he's still trying to figure out what the next step is.

Oh, really? I'm trying to push in the animation and be like, we can do something together. Right, yeah. Practical. Be a practical artist. Make a living at it. I mean, that'd be nice. Yeah.

But he's great. And when you started doing, performing stuff, did you, I noticed on the resume before I forget that you did the Finding Your Root show. I did.

I did that too. Oh, yeah? Yeah. What'd you find? Jews. It's a long line of jews yeah a lot of jews all the way back yeah he found he was very excited he was like we've never gone this far back uh with this particular strain of jews oh yeah nice what'd you find slaves oh no kidding yeah those are the two ways. Jews and slaves for us. There was a thing that did rock my world.

So one of my ancestors created a town, Fargo, Arkansas, and it still exists. Really? Yeah. There's like a great exodus from South Carolina. And then he made his way to Arkansas and just like bought a bunch of land. After the Civil War. Yeah. And that and created this community.

And what happened to it? Was there a historical horror to it? Probably was. We didn't discuss that in the show. Probably was. It just seems like the the black experiment with building towns doesn't always go well. For sure. Well, it's nice that it's still there.

Yeah. So but Indianapolis, your dad's. was he a big shot in the Air Force? Kind of, yeah. He would like, first he did something with planes. I can't remember. Does he fly? He doesn't fly. I think he like, he was very, it's interesting.

Like, I guess he doesn't come off as artsy, but he was always interested in like TV stuff. So he would like edit videos on how to like to work the plane or training sessions and stuff. Right. And then he was a part of Combat Camera, which I think was kind of editing these newsletters of stuff that was happening overseas. Okay. And then he taught a lot. He taught at the defense school in Maryland. In Colorado?

Oh, in Maryland. Yeah. There's an Air Force academy of some kind in colorado i know yeah in a mountain or something yeah seems a little uh secretive and weird oh i don't know anything about it but maryland is where yeah but yeah we like moved around a bunch when i was younger i was born in japan in okinawa japan do you remember it i don't we moved when i was like 10 months old so you've been there you've been back i haven't i i want to don't. We moved when I was like 10 months old. Have you been there? Have you been back? I haven't. I want to. Don't you want to go to Japan? I would love to.

Yeah. I want to see my roots. I'm fascinated with it, but apparently not enough to travel. I find that with a lot of things. India seems really fascinating to me, but I'm not going to. I'm not going. One day. I mean, you have India in your bathroom right now, so you don't need to go anywhere.

Well, that's why I always feel like an asshole, because I'm interested in India, but people ask me why. It's like, the food, the bread is so good. And that's got to be insulting on some level. You're like, there's so much more here. Oh, yeah. Horrible class strife, disease. I mean, I'm sure it's beautiful, but it's a little fraught. Right, right, right, right.

But me, I'm just sort of like, the bread. But that bread. It's got, but it's a little fraught. Right, right, right, right. But in the end, I'm just sort of like, the bread. But that bread. It's got to be great. So, and you ended up, when did you start performing? I started, well, I kind of always performed. I was always in musicals and choir. And when you were a kid? When I was a kid, yeah.

I was in my church choir since I was like nine. What kind of church? Baptist church. Full-on Baptist? Not full-on Baptist. We could on Baptist? Not full on Baptist. We could like wear pants and jewelry and stuff. Mild Baptist. Yeah.

And it was nice. It was like, I feel like my mom didn't really care that much about the religion aspect. I mean, maybe she does. I don't know. But I feel like it was more the community. Sure. And that was my community as I grew up. But then I got older and I don't know, started listening more and was like not loving.

The God thing? The God thing, yeah. I wasn't loving the whole God thing. So I kind of had been removed from the church for a long time. But that's interesting, isn't it? Because, I don't know, like I never, I never, was it ever pushed on you? Or did you, I mean, if you weren't really brought up with this idea of, you know, Jesus, but your mom kind of dug the church thing and the singing and everything,

when did it start to, what triggered you to be, like, annoyed by the idea of it? I just hated hearing about money all the time. It was a lot of, like, tithes, tithes, tithes, like. Oh, the tithing. Yeah. So you tithes. Oh, the tithing. Yeah. So you saw the racket. I saw the racket. Yeah.

And then when I went to college, me and some other girls who also grew up in churches were like, we should find a church and go together. And we would church hop and we just couldn't find anything. And I also got in a fight with a deacon one day because he was like you know picking scripture that shows like women are are here to serve men and this and that and i was like is that really what you're getting from this and and we had a disagreement where was this this is in virginia this is at uva when i went to school there but i was like yeah i don't think i need to do this anymore if i'm fighting with people but what was the impulse to to sort of church hop because we were good little girls and we were like that's what we're supposed to do, right?

Find a church. Yeah. And then with that, just like that mission ended and we were like, let's go to the club. That's interesting. So you get there and you're like, well, we're like freshman year kind of. Yes. Yeah. We met a bunch of other people.

Yeah. It was like, I mean, I was very lucky. I still talk to these girls, but there's just like a group of black girls on my hall. Yeah. We were all like, we grew up in a church. We are smart. We're, I don't know. Let's like hang out together and like do stuff together. And so, yeah, we tried to find churches and then didn't. And then we were like, we'll just drink together and that'll be good too. We have a community. There's a few of us here. So that's where you ended up in Virginia? Yeah. University of Virginia. Where is it? Charlottes University of Virginia. Where is that?

Charlottesville, Virginia. It's a very pretty place. It's nice? It's nice. I mean, I had a great experience there. It's like a mixed thing where I thought Virginia was like east. I didn't think it was south, but it's very much the south. Yeah, it is.

And that was the first time you felt it? You go from the Midwest to the south. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don don't know what's the black community in indianapolis there's a lot of there's a big black community it is kind of like or at least when i was growing up there segregated i mean not like so much so that was like rules that they're segregated but there's like communities where black people are here. Understood. Yeah. Yeah. Aren't most cities like that? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, yeah. Not like, yeah, actually, yes. Actually, yes. It's a disturbing but true thing. I mean, I was in Boston for years. Yeah. And you'd be in Boston, you're like, where are they hiding them? I know.

Yeah. It's a trip because it's, you know, you think it's a liberal town, but it's only liberal in the sense that there's so many college students there. But the actual structure of the thing, it's just the way it is. Yeah. I don't know how that changes. The only one that I ever felt was that I lived in. Well, Atlanta is pretty well integrated, it feels. Yeah.

Doesn't it? Yeah. Because like there's like, like in New York too, to a degree as well. But I mean, New York is like, no one lives in New York. Everyone's got to come in to be.

Right. Well, when I first moved to New York, I was in Prospect Park South and I, In Brooklyn. In Brooklyn. Yeah. I was in Brooklyn the whole time.

Oh, I don't know Brooklyn. Oh, well. Yeah. It's South of Prospect Park. And it's, I remember like,

I was in a very Bangladeshi area. And then you'd walk a few blocks and it'd be a very Hasidic Jew area. And then you'd walk a few blocks and then you're in Windsor Terrace. And it's affluent, rich, white people and their cars and they have driveways. And it was kind of crazy. And it was nice that everything was so closed, but it was very sectioned off. Yeah, but it's block to block there yeah like you know you can't avoid everybody no like like there are some cities where it's sort of like

where you know you're far away but uh like i lived in queens it was crazy like that i loved it the the sort of like element of like where's everyone from yeah where's this music coming yeah like there was like egyptians on steinway and then there was some kind of ukrainian bar i don't even know what kind of eastern european bar it was and it annoyed me but i was like what is that rhythm you know and i just i i enjoyed in the greeks like i like living out here just to get armenian stink guy occasionally reminds me of new york just old people from an old country looking at you like you're the stranger yeah and that's nice isn't it it's inviting reminds me of New York yeah

so when you were in college did you do uh did you do the the performing yeah I started doing musicals and then everyone around me was like auditioning for plays and stuff and I was like that seems fun so I started doing that and then like my second year I was like I think this is what I want to do what was the moment that made that apparent I did for color girls who consider suicide when the rainbow is enough and it's a choreo poem and it was all black female cast what's a choreo poem it's um a poem with movement so like we danced right and then the way the words were structured wasn't necessarily like dialogue i guess there were more monologues but it was poetry yeah and yeah i remember the director theresa davis she would send us out into the crowd after the show was done and we had to talk to the audience and it was just nice to hear people say

like i relate to this so much and it was like old people young people white people black people like just all everyone were like this was such a human experience and even though i'm not a black woman i understand this feeling yeah and i remember being like i want to do that all the time I just want to do something that connects to people in the moment and so yeah I was like I want to perform it's nice when something when the piece is so powerful

and you get to be part of it as an actor it's so rare because a lot of times as you know and I didn't do a lot of acting when I was younger because I just couldn't wrap my brain around the process of giving someone that much power over my life. Audition process, just a fucking nightmare. It's not ideal.

Not ideal, that's very diplomatic. But yeah, but the fact that if you have something amazing that you can perform and and you get to live through that and then get the rewards from it to be part of that collaboration it's great yeah yeah and comedy when you start doing stand-up um i started doing improv in college um there was an improv group that was longstanding from, I guess longstanding from the 90s. But I auditioned for it, didn't make it, and then started my own group with some people. Look at you, rebel.

Yeah, fuck that old timey improv group. Yeah, truly. We're the cutting edge. And then the Upright Citizen Brigade Theater touring company came to UVA. Who was in that? Bobby Moynihan. Oh, yeah. Pretty sure Zach Woods was there. Uh-huh. Shannon O'Neill. theater touring company came to uva and i was in that bobby moynihan oh yeah pretty sure zach woods was there uh-huh shannon o'neill i can't remember but i remember being like yeah whoa yeah

yeah and i also we had a q a after with them and someone asked like how do you get a career in comedy and bobby was like move to new york work really hard and yeah and go to ucb and i was like, move to New York, work really hard, and go to UCB. And I was like, okay. And yeah, after I graduated, moved to New York, went to UCB immediately, fell in love. I think my first show was a New Year's show. And Amy Poehler and Horatio Sanz came out on stage. And I was like, this is what happens here all the time? And yeah. So you were like an improv nerd. I was.

That's wild. I mean, because I remember when they all came to New York. I remember when they started it. Yeah. I remember before they had the theater. Yeah. And then it just becomes, there's this model, this improv franchising model. Yeah.

It was nuts. Yeah. So you took classes there. I took classes. You became part of the place. I became part of the place. Yeah. I was just like, this feels good. These are my people. And then part of the place. I became part of the place. Yeah. I was just like,

this feels good. These are my people. And then I started performing there. I was on a Herald team. Well, actually before I was on a Herald team, I was on a improv group with Nicole Byer and Keisha Zoller. And we like formed it because we didn't make Herald teams. We didn't make house teams. What does that mean? You got to audition for the Herald team? Yeah. To be on a regular house team, you have to audition. Yeah. And then they could say yes or no. Yeah. I got a no. Right.

And I was like, well, then I'll start doing it. Who's the boss? I don't know. There was like multiple people. Well, Anthony King was the AD at the time, but he himself has helped me immensely through my career. That's nice. I got a no at first, but then eventually got many yeses. I i know it happens you just gotta keep pressing on yeah i wasn't trying to

make trouble i'm not trying to make trouble in the ucb world but that whole that whole scene was like i come from stand-up so and i've talked about this before i did i'm not a co i was not a collaborator yeah we are lone wolves out in the world. Well, yeah. Yes and no. My generation was. Oh, for sure. But it just seems like the entire culture of new comedy is all from sketch.

Yeah. And it's all from improv. Yeah. The stand-up thing. Let's build the show around the stand-up thing. Yeah, it doesn't happen anymore. Old model. Yeah. But I kind of did everything at the show around the stand-up thing doesn't work. Yeah, it doesn't happen anymore. Old model. Yeah,

but I did, I kind of did everything at the same time. I moved to New York in 2009 and was doing improv classes and then shortly after started doing stand-up

and sketch. Yeah. But I do feel like stand-up, I loved the community I came up in because I do feel like even though it is

a solitary art form, people will help you. Like, people will be like. Sure, well, you grew up in the i do feel like even though it is a solitary art form people will help you like people will be like sure well that you grew up in the time of like comic produced shows yeah oh for sure yeah yeah so like yeah that's totally different yeah because everyone's sort of like it'll be fun bring people yeah yeah yeah we have we found a bathroom in a basement we're doing a show yeah yeah we're on a roof bring people yeah, yeah. Yeah, when I was coming up, it was like the comedy club has one or two nights where you got to go hammer it out. But I'm not complaining.

I did my share of all those other shows once I evolved with the medium. Yeah. I mean, I'll do the alt rooms. I know what they... I helped start one of the bigger ones in New York, but I never thought of myself as like an alt comic. But I watched some of your standup. You seem to know what you're doing.

Hey, thanks. And it was funny, but I'm usually I'm, I'm resentful of you young ones coming up through the improv and not paying your dues properly. Yeah. I think it helped that I did it all at the same time.

Yeah. And I'd feel like each thing influenced the other thing. Like I feel like my improv helped my standup, like help me like loosen it up. And I felt like my stand influenced the other thing. Like, I feel like my improv helped my stand-up. Sure. Like, helped me, like, loosen it up. And I feel like my stand-up helped my improv and sketch, like, as far as writing and, like, editing, self-editing as I'm going. Well, who else was, like, who was around then? Who's, like, your class of people?

Like, you're younger than Mulaney and those guys, right? Yes, yeah. Yeah. you're younger than Mulaney and those guys right yeah and Kroll and them

that was like in between the original and me I guess what were who were some of the people other than Nicole anyone that I know

that we know Michael Che oh yeah John Carmichael Jermaine Fowler Che was at UCB he wasn't at UCB oh I guess we're talking about

yeah just stand up either way yeah at UCB? He wasn't at UCB. Oh, I guess we're talking about, yeah, just stand-up. Either way. Yeah. Yeah. At UCB, I don't know. Yeah. It's kind of, I mean. Who surfaced.

Who surfaced. I don't know. He made it out. I know. It's a weird thing, isn't it? Yeah. And like, as you get older, you'll continue to wonder like, oh, what happened? Yeah. And then you'll see them on a weird show and be like, oh, shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you'll see them on a weird show and be like, oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the stand-up thing, it was never something that you were like, I'm going to do this for a living. Was it? Yeah. Shortly after I started, I was like, I love this. I want to keep doing it.

But, yeah, I can't remember when I decided I wanted to do it as a living. But I just. You did decide that you wanted to. Yeah. Because you did a that you wanted to you're right because you did a special how many i did a special i did one special yeah called pizza mind uh came out in 2017 yeah um but yeah i'm where netflix it was on cso that is now defunct uh yeah but did you get it back uh or is it gone for good it's not gone for good it It's not gone for good. It's on Amazon Prime. Oh, good. There you go. And I think the LOL Network. I kind of got a raw deal, so it's in a lot of places that I didn't have control over.

Right. But it puts you out there. It's out there. People can watch it. Yeah, it's not like, you know, with specials it's sort of weird. It's, you know, usually they have a shelf life. I don't know how topical the whole thing was, but it seemed like some of it was pretty general. It could have survived.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's actually like, i haven't watched it recently but i still have people who watch it and they're like yeah this still applies now because i'm like talking about being a black woman in america and race and gender and stuff like that sadly doesn't that doesn't change it's kind of evergreen it's a slow turn yeah yeah but that was but you seem to be more involved with well i mean i want to sort of get a little bit with snl thing yeah because that was one of the things that was so it was such an odd time because you were the one yeah you and leslie like, you're it. And there was so much attention on this idea of them reacting to decades of sort of non-diversification within the system.

And then all of a sudden they get called out and you're like, we got two. And you're one. But they followed you through the whole process. They did, yeah. It was crazy. It was crazy. It was crazy. It's interesting. I was like SNL.

Anthony King, actually the AD of UCB. Yeah. Contacted SNL maybe in 2011 or something because my improv group with two other black women, we were crushing it at the theater. So he was like, you guys. You should see this. You should see this. Yeah.

women we were crushing it yeah theater so he was like you guys see this you should see this yeah and Lindsay shook us came to see a show and told us we should send tapes and so we like we had been sending tapes and auditioning and doing showcases for a couple years at this point and then to them to them to SNL yeah they've already had your tape yeah they already knew who I was so wait that was sort of part of the you know that was what you were taught like to I mean that was like part of UC the, you know, that was what you were taught? Like to, I mean, that was like part of UCB? Like I never really heard that before. You had solicited or sent tapes before to SNL? Yeah, yeah.

Like every year kind of thing? Yeah. Huh. Yeah, I think that was like, this is a possibility. This is like. This is how you do it. This is kind of how you do it. Yeah, they scout you.

They know who you are. They're like, please send a tape. they like the tape uh you do these showcases where you perform live in front of an audience and lauren and some of the producers if they like that i did that with comedy yeah but i didn't like i never like sent tapes or anything before yeah you like a character reel oh yeah yeah who'd you do um i can't remember i know i did a really dumb one uh angela bassett hound where she was a it was angela bassett as a dog that's pretty good it's really stupid um i know i did all of destiny's child like talking to each other um i think i did nikki minaj yeah um this is on your first character reel i that wasn't my first character reel.

And I don't, like, it's also gone. The first character reel's gone because the guy who recorded it, like, deleted the footage. Because he's like, I don't need it anymore. And I was like, what? What are you thinking? You didn't have a copy? I didn't have a copy. Isn't that weird?

These people, like, you know, you sort of like, they just do these things and it's on their computer and then it's not. And then it's not. And I'm like, oh, I guess it's just gone. So they come. So what is the timing of the thing? They came to see you with the troupe. Yeah. Yeah, that was maybe 2011.

And then the next year, more showcases in the next year. And I remember, I think it was like 2013. I was like, I'm going to give this a really good shot. good shot i'm gonna like actually because i feel like i was very green before yeah and and i still was but then you're only a couple you're only a few years in yeah i mean 2009 you got there yeah right um but i was like i'm gonna give it a really good shot and if nothing comes of it i think i'm i think i'm good on auditioning. And also I wanted to move to LA at that point. So you had enough of, it seems like you were

well-parented and have a good sense of self, that you were not hanging your entire hopes and dreams on. It seems very practical to be able to be like, alright. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, because I wanted it.

Right. I enjoyed SNL. That was like a goal of mine. When I was younger, I watched it and MADtv and was like, oh, my God, how do these people get here? Like, this is so cool. But then like that was the end of the thought. But then when I moved to New York and was like, whoa, it's a possibility. I was like, yeah, I want this.

But then, but also was like, there are also other jobs. Yeah. So you always knew that. Yeah. Yeah. But like knew it as in like, there are also other jobs. Yeah. And. Huh. So you always knew that. Yeah. Yeah. But like knew it as in like, I love this. I love comedy, but didn't know how anyone got to do it. Right.

But once you spend enough time at UCB, you start to realize like, you know, I can write, I can act. Yeah. There's another world out there. It's not all SNL. Yeah. Yeah. Totally.

And, um, but also still very much wanted it. Yeah. And so I put together a tape, sent it to my managers for notes. And he was like, actually, this is like the end of 2013. He was like, they are currently looking for black women. I need to send this to them right now. In a panic. In a panic. Truly.

Like, oh God, there's an alert. Everyone needs to send the black women to them right now yeah uh and so yeah they sent the tape in and then they did a showcase in la and in new york and it was it all went very fast and it was also very different from it was a reaction it was a reaction yeah because they got called out for not having a black woman for years. Yeah. And, yeah, there was kind of a frenzy about it. And, yes, the media was very much involved with the whole process. Yeah, yeah. It was weird because, like, they listed people.

They would list people's names. Right. And be like, they're going into the studio to test on Monday. That's crazy. And then I'm getting all these texts on Monday being like, good luck, break a leg. And I'm like, you shouldn't even know about this. And, you know, SNL had to be leaking that. Maybe.

I don't, I have no idea. I mean, it was part of the, I mean, I don't know. Maybe I'm not to, I don't know. I don't know. I really don't know. It doesn't matter. They knew. Everyone knew.

Everyone knew. And I kind of like, you know, my anxiety was spiraling and I kind of didn't leave my house for a while because I was like, I just don't want to talk to people. Everywhere I went, people were like, well, what's the process now? What's Lauren like? What's this? You got to focus. Yeah.

Where usually when people audition, they kind of have the luxury of doing it in private. Like if they get it, awesome. Great. It's a surprise. If not, no one knows. Yeah. Now, like no matter what happens everyone's gonna know everyone truly yeah uh yeah it was it was a bit maddening and i remember i actually had

an apartment lined up in la at the end of the year yeah so your plan you were ready to go oh what was your plan out here just to act to act yeah yeah um i had all my goodbye shows i passed my variety show to somebody else i I was like, I'm gone. But then this process was still happening. And I was like, I don't really know what to do. Did you have representation and everything? You were kind of ready to go? Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you weren't coming out here totally blind. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No. And then, yeah. And then I tested. Yeah. And I remember remember I mean in the studio in the studio yeah

I actually went after Leslie because I could hear her I was in the hallway that's a she that's a lot to follow true yeah

oh I know it's a tough act to follow and then you know everyone was dying in there and um I remember Chris Kelly the stage manager

was in the hallway with me and he was like you know we have to look forward. We have to look at the camera. But all the people who are watching are on the side of the stage, which is crazy. Just make it as hard as possible. Yep. Yeah. What obstacles can we give you?

Yeah. But he was like, if you ever get nervous, look at me. And I'll be laughing. I'll be smiling. Yeah. And then I was on stage and I looked at him and he was just the best audience member ever. And it was like one of those moments where I was like, I did the best I could do.

Oh, yeah. You knew. I knew. I left and I was like, that was... It's a good feeling. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, if they don't want it, then they don't want it. That's right.

Then it's clearly... I'm not it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I was like, I know I did the best I ever did anything. Oh, that's great. And we'll see what happens. And then, yeah yeah and then I

and then I got the call from Lauren it was crazy um and then the next call I got was from the publicist being like hey if anyone contacts you no comment and I was like okay weird yeah and then the next call I got was from like CNN right I was like how the fuck did you get my phone number um but yeah they were all over it no comment yeah I was like no right I was like how the fuck did you get my phone number um but yeah they were all over it no comment yeah I was like no comment I was already told not to say anything and they're like fuck and they hung up yeah yeah yeah you've just become part of uh the they SNL will manage all messaging yeah yeah exactly right um but yeah it's interesting, I mean, Lauren was great that he like pulled me into his office at one point to be like, we've never had a cast member who had this much media attention around them before they got on the show. With you.

With me. Yeah. And he's kind of like, are you OK? Like, how are you doing? And I had such like rose colored glasses at the time. I was like, I'm fine. It's great. This is awesome. Like what, what's there to complain about? And you know, later it's like anxiety and all this other stuff. How did that start to unfold? Um, I think I just like, I mean. The anxiety though. Like, so like all this attention.

So that's interesting. Cause did Leslie get it as well? Or were you, you feel like. Well, she got hired as a writer. I got, I got first got hired as a writer i got i got first got hired as a cast member so i was the black right you were right and then they and then leslie got hired as a writer and then the next season they made her a cast member um which is great because i didn't want to be the only one when did you but when did it start to feel what how did it unfold

in terms of you starting to you know see yourself differently in relation to the show like you know because i mean i've talked to a lot of people about that show and about the experience and i know that for a lot of people it's competitive and difficult and horrible and for some people you know the people that are i don't know what determines how someone handles that process but uh But what was your experience? How did it start to chip away at you? I mean, it was a lot. And I don't think it was really the show that was chipping away.

I think it was really the media stuff. From the beginning. From the beginning. And it was really the media stuff and i from the beginning from the beginning and it was it was just very strange like i i think i just developed a distrust of the press yeah people like but it never let up like they were once it started to go on then they were like when's she gonna be on how come they're not using it anymore when it never let up like i i mean one very clear story of like where this distrust started was that when they put Michael Che on the update desk, I get a phone call, I'm out to dinner, from the SNL publicist who's like, hey, Page Six wants to print an article saying that you were overheard at

a restaurant dissing the decision that Michael Che should be on the update desk like that you don't like the fact that there's two men on the update desk it should be two women and this and that and I was like oh I know that's not true because I don't think that I didn't know it wasn't even a thought in my head it's unfortunate because it's like someone could have overheard me talking about the show in a restaurant. Sure. But I definitely didn't say that. Right.

And I was like, well, that's not true. And she's like, well, they're printing it anyway. And I was like, they can do that? They can just print. So they called to fact check. And I'm telling you, the facts are not true. And they're still going to print it. And they're like, yeah.

So what happened with that? Did Shay get mad? No. Thankfully, we all talked and they get it. Everyone's like, yeah, people print fake stuff all the time it's like we know that's not you um and so it's terrible it was terrible but then like a happy memory from that um there there was some party that snl was hosting and that writer who printed that was at the party yeah i mean bold move uh and i was talking to cecily and shay at the bar

and we recognized the guy and we're like oh my god i can't believe he's here and shay called him over and pretended like he didn't know him at all yeah he's like hey man like let's take a shot and he's like what do you do and the guy's like oh i'm a writer and he's like that's crazy i'm a writer too i write for snl like what kind of stuff do you write about? And he's like, I write about SNL and celebs and things like that. He's like, really? That's nuts. Some people write really crazy shit about us, like lies sometimes. And it's not good.

And then the guy's like, you know who I am. You know I wrote the article. And she was like, oh, yeah, I think I do recognize you. You know what? We're a family. And when you write things that conflict with what our energy is, it's not good for us. So maybe don't do that anymore.

And he just like took the shot and walked away. And I was like, yes. Yay. And he went on and did it anyway. He did. It didn't matter. It didn't like stop his career, his journey, but it just felt. They're the fucking worst, man.

Yeah. Parasites. They are. They're vultures. Yeah. and that's only gotten worse yeah now it's all of it yeah so that's the media thing but what was going on you know in terms of the work as far as the work i mean i feel like i went through waves of trying to figure out the show. Like trying to align yourself with writers and stuff like that. Totally. Yeah, trying to find writers to glob onto, trying to write by myself, trying to write things that have worked on the show before, trying to write things that are totally different

than what the show likes, trying to, you know, I just tried everything. Yeah. And sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. But I think eventually, it didn't take too long where I was like, oh, you know what? Nothing makes sense here. And that's kind of freeing. There's no formula that I could figure out anyway where it's like, oh, if you always do this, this works. Or if you always talk to this person, it works.

And then there would be weeks where it's like, I feel isolated or I feel lonely or I feel like none of my shit's working. But then I'm like, oh, but that doesn't have anything to do with me. There's like so many people here all dealing with their own shit individually. That's like, no one's thinking about me. And that's okay. So you didn't feel that there was, you know, some sort of system in place or that there was some even if it wasn't a system. Could you sense it like some people were being pushed forward and some people were being left behind? Yeah.

For reasons that seemed either unfair or or or like just obviously it's not it's not spontaneous. No, but it's not it's not spontaneous. No, but it's not. I don't I don't think it was like people are being pushed for unfair reasons. Sometimes it's easier. Like it's like who can do this impression? Kate. All right. Who can do this song?

Cecily. Like, you know, it's just like. Sure. There's like off the top of the dome. Right. Right. Right. It's like, how can we utilize this new person that we don't know what she can do yet?

Right. But I mean, it goes on for a while, right? You were there for how long? Three and a half years, four seasons. You know, and at some point you're like,

whoa, this is not, you know. Yeah. Yes. They're never going to use the new person to her full degree of talent. Yeah. I think,

yeah. I mean, I went into my last season being like, I think this will be my last season. I was pretty confident your decision yeah and did you

did you talk to Lauren about that I did yeah I talked to him a couple times to be like this is not working and what can we do

like I was trying to find solutions and he was too and was like well let's figure something out which we didn't really but you know

he was always supportive. He wanted me there, which was a good feeling. Right. Like, he also likes me and thinks I'm talented and, you know, wanted me there. But how does that not translate into more opportunity on the show? Well, there's a lot of factors.

It's not just, you know, there's Lorne. Sure. And then there's also, like, what does the show need that week? What are we talking about that week? Right, right, right. What are the bits? Yeah, what is the host like?

What do we do last week that we wanted to get to that we need to need that week? What are we talking about that week? What is the host like? What did we do last week that we wanted to get to that we need to do this week? There's like so many other factors that, you know, it's not just, well, I like you and you're good and you should be on the show. But you never at any point started to feel like, you know, I'm not funny enough? Oh, I definitely felt that way.

Oh, you did? Yeah. But I think everybody goes through that at some point in time where you're like, wow, maybe I thought I was funny. And then I got here and I realized I'm not or I never was. I'm not talented. But, yeah, you know, it shakes your confidence after a while. Yeah.

And after, like, how much of that do you need? I mean, that struggle of something that plays on your insecurities, you know, over a period of time, which we all have, like, I guess you come to sort of like some sort of like crossroads where you're sort of like, this isn't going to get any better. And it could diminish my sense of self if I don't, you know, rise above this. Yeah, I think that's what it really came down to. Because I was like, I don't think my mental health is worth staying here like i think i think i i'm choosing me i'm choosing to take care of myself i could have stayed the whole seven-year contract probably but i don't know if i would have felt good and and yeah but also like that i mean that's sort of the fascinating thing

about your particular story within it is that well well, how did it, how did you leave? Did you, Lauren was sort of like, okay, I understand you can go. I went to him towards the end of the season and quit. season and quit and you know i had a life coach at the time that was really prepping me on this and like trying to help me with the words because it was very intimidating to like to go into lauren's office to go into lauren's office period and then also tell them i don't want to be on your show um but they have life coaches that specifically deal with quitting i mean you know it it's like leaving a relationship sure so yeah and did you hire the life coach for that no no i already i already had her for other stuff but that that is what we were

working on at the time and we always worked on other things before that too we worked on like how to like communicate my ideas to the writer's room how to like you know gel with people is as a team and then and then it shifted to how do I leave? How do you find this life coach? Her name's Betsy Capes. She actually... Is she like a world famous life coach for coaching people? She's kind of a famous coach for like artists.

She understands the entertainment industry and works with a lot of people who... New York person? Yeah. That's so funny because like back in my day, there was a therapist that used to work with comedians yeah there still is oh yeah same guy probably um yeah so she was so what how did she advise you did you cry i did not cry good for you god damn that's a good story already. I think I just kind of, I mean, honestly, I don't know if this happens to you. Sometimes I feel like my system gets so overwhelmed that I black out and I don't really know what's happening in the moment.

It happens like weekly. Yeah, so I don't really know what I said. I cannot remember the actual conversation. I remember the feelings. I remember what it looks like, but I don't really remember. Was remember was it just you and him yeah and we were in his office and it was actually i think uh before dress rehearsal or something it was like i couldn't really catch him on a day that felt easy of course it was like it's a rushed conversation so you knew it was gonna happen yeah but you didn't quite know exactly when yeah because i like you know i asked

his assistants can i get a moment with Lauren? And they're like, sure, we'll get back to you as to when. And then I get a text like, he's available now. And I'm like, are you kidding me? I'm getting my makeup done. But yeah, we spoke. And I think I was just kind of like, you know, we tried. And I tried really, really hard.

And I loved my experience here. But I don't think I can continue. And he understood what I was saying and it felt good it felt like a good conversation and then I remember leaving the room and he like passed me on the shoulder and he's like well let me know what you decide and I was like I just I did I just did he I was like what what's happening I just I just did. I was like, what's happening? I just did. Please don't make me come back and quit again. That's interesting. And I was like, is this a tactic?

I can't tell. Was I not very clear? Definitely a tactic. But then our last week of the show, at the table read, usually there's like a fake sketch to say goodbye to anyone who's leaving. Right. And Colin was usually the one to write that. And so he asked me, he was like, there's like a fake sketch to say goodbye to anyone who's leaving right um and usually and colin jose was usually the one to write that and so he asked me he was like i heard you quit um do

you want me to include you in the sketch yeah and i was like i don't know because i'm not quite sure that lauren knows i'm leaving like it feels like i have to quit again but i was like yeah put it put me in the sketch i feel like maybe that was when he knew that i was leaving because we're reading the sketch and we're saying goodbye to vanessa we're saying bye to bobby and then we say bye to me and those are all the people that were leaving at the end of that season yeah okay and i know we're we're crying and stuff and i think that's how a lot of people were like oh shit she's actually leaving and yeah that was and that was it yeah because because I mean, it's some sort of like usually when somebody if you would have stayed the entire seven years and it would have kept going the way that it was going, it would have been difficult for you to move on. Yeah. And the fact that you left after three and a half, four years of your own choosing, and then you had to sort of reinvent your approach to show business on your own without having that cachet.

I mean, it was a weird, I mean, I think the foresight of it was, if I stay here the full contract and it keeps going like this, I'll be kind of like exiled to obscurity in a way. Yeah. Right. So if you quit after three and a half years because you want to do something else and you have that much belief in yourself, I mean, that must have been pretty scary. Yeah, it was. But also it felt really good. It felt it was like I and I think to some people it looked like, oh, she must have other stuff going on.

I did not. Right. I didn't have a plan. I just was like, I just know I can't be here anymore. But you also realize that the people that launch out of SNL, it becomes pretty apparent. I don't know how, when, but you sort of know who know be you know shot out of the cannon yeah be huge yeah you know i mean that's sort of what that show does for certain people and i i know don't know that i ever thought about it like this before but there's plenty of people that are

sitting there going like i don't know if i'm gonna have my turn in the canon yeah right yeah there's a lot of people on that show i was number 17 when I was hired. It's a fat cast. Wow. So what were you, you just came out here or what'd you do? I stayed in New York for a little while longer.

And then I just started, I mean, then I started getting roles. I had shot a show on Comedy Central called Robbie with Rory Scovel. Oh yeah. That was in the last OG for a bit. How'd you like working with him? I also, he's great.

He's a little nutty. He's nutty. Tracy's amazing. I mean, he also like. There's nobody like him. There's nobody like him. Yeah. But I think there was also like some like SNL alum love there

that I really love and appreciate. And also I remember when he dropped by the show, he was in my office and he was like, he gave me one of the best pieces of advice. I don't even think I asked for it, but he was saying something like, you can't ask for permission here anymore. You can't ask for permission here anymore. Don't like you got the job. Don't ask for permission here. Like start showing your teeth. And that did kind of shift me. I do. I do feel like I showed my teeth in different ways because by the time I left.

I think also because I knew I was leaving. I didn't feel like small. I wasn't like. Right. Oh, maybe I should ask for this. I would just be like, I want this. This is not happening. You know, I would just be clear.

Sometimes it didn't always work but um sometimes it would like I had a a nice win where I wrote a mother's day sketch with Sudi Green and Julio Torres called The Cut and it was about when moms cut their hair short where it's like short on the sides and spiking on the top yeah it's like typical mom cut um that's when they know they're a mom and uh and it's kind of like a horror sketch but we wrote it and there were like so many mother's day sketches already and one of the producers came into the office and was like we don't have time to read this one so we're not we're gonna bump it and i was like i think we should really read it and she's like okay i don't even know how i phrase it but I convinced her to read it. We did read it. Lorne loved it.

It got in the show. He called it a perfect sketch. And I was like, it went from almost not being read at all to now it's like one of the best sketches of that night. And because I said, no, thank you. I'd like to read it. And so, I don't know. Nice things like that happen. That's good.

Yeah. Well, I mean, it seems to me that not unlike your audition that you feel like you did everything you could do. I do feel that way. Yeah. And that, you know, it's not for any shortcoming of yours. Yeah. That shit did not work out. Yeah.

And also, like, and also sometimes shit doesn't work out. Like, I've dated really nice, good people, you know, perfectly good on paper people and it didn't work out. So it's like, this show's great. I'm great. And sometimes the combination doesn't work for whatever reason. And I'm like, so glad I was there. And I'm also so glad for everything that happened.

Cause I do feel like I left like a better writer, a better communicator, a stronger person. I feel like I can do literally better writer, a better communicator, a stronger person. I feel like I can do literally anything. Like I, you know. Well, it seems like you do do a lot of things. Yeah. I do a lot of things. Yeah.

I mean, and that, like, I think that if you think about spending the other two and a half or three years there, which would mean you really only had time to do the one thing, it probably would have been a different outcome. Yeah. So you just started booking roles pretty quickly. Yeah. I got an NBC pilot, and more things started pulling me to L.A., so then I was like, okay, I'll move to L.A.

Yeah. Yeah. And you've been here since? I've been here since, yeah. And it seems like you're pretty well integrated into the world of comedy yeah around here yeah i'd say so still doing stand-up um do you yeah where um the improv i don't know random alt spaces but um yeah definitely not as much as i used to yeah i haven't written new stuff in a while but it's like i think it's my pandemic brain like i couldn't i truly thought nothing was funny for a year how long you've been doing the podcast um i think like two years yeah and

it's going well it's going well yeah people like it i like it we were doing live shows at largo for a minute that was really fun oh yeah i just did a show over there yeah it's i like orgo yeah me too uh how did the live shows go? They were great. It's just like us. It's an amazing business that we can get away with that if we want to. I know. Just to talk to your friend and people like it. It's crazy. Yeah.

Actually, talking about lifestyle podcast earlier, Nicole texted me a screenshot of a Reddit post. Because at some point in time during the podcast, I think I went on a rant about how women need to like look at their pussies. And I talk about this in my act as well. Just like, look,

look at yourself. Like we've been told for so long, this is like a secret spot. No one wants to look at it. Yeah. But we got to look at it. It's yours.

Yeah. And this woman looked at it and like found a pre-cancerous like growth, but like wouldn't have if she didn't just like, like actually get down there and look at it.

You inspired her to. We save somebody's life. Yeah. Just by telling her to look at their pussy. Yeah. Yeah. Now I feel like,

yeah, I mean, that's very proactive. Maybe I should tell people to look at their cuffs. I mean, but actually, yes.

Well, it's weird that you don't, like how much can you look at? I'm pretty sure I'm familiar with my, my stuff. Yeah. I think it's just like to know what. like, how much can you look at? I'm pretty sure I'm familiar with my stuff. Yeah, I think it's just like to know what it is. I have more time than most people.

Yeah. Yeah, I think just to know it. Sure. So that when something's different, you know. Yeah, you could at least say that. Yeah. Yeah, like, I have two now. When did that happen?

I should get this checked out. Or maybe not. I should get this checked out. Or maybe not. But what, now, when did, because it seems like as with the standup and I don't know, maybe I'm connecting things. But what was this role that you were asked to engage in with the ACLU? Oh, that was kind of because of standup. um engaging with the aclu oh um that was kind of because of stand-up i think people from the aclu heard my material uh-huh and we're like oh this kind of aligns with the stuff that we're doing and i work with the women's rights project so it's a lot of talking about women's issues and

what needs to be done to like maintain our rights in this country how'd they reach out to you done to like maintain our rights in this country how'd they reach out to you um that's a good question maybe they i think someone just emailed me yeah um and they were like we like your stuff will you like kind of be a mouthpiece for us and i was like yeah totally and it kind of felt like an honor to be asked and i've written sketches for them essays and really spoke on different events so it's just a nice way that i can kind of bring humor and break things down for them and because they're like they have a lot of law jargon going on so i can like make it more digestible and then also they give me information that i can put into my material to get to my audience too where i'm like oh this is what's happening right now like we should be talking about this. You can be, yeah, educated.

Yeah. And up to speed. Exactly. Yeah, I thank God for the ACLU. I mean, oh my God. I don't know where the hell we would be without them over the last four years.

Yeah. Like, I only give to a few different charities. It's definitely one of them. Yeah. And one of them is a tiger rescue in North Carolina. Nice.

That's also important. I love tigers. Big cats. Big cats. I have one right here. Oh, yeah. Tattoo on my arm. Have you been over there?

There's a North Carolina. I'm pretty sure it's in North Carolina. Yeah. I mean, I go there whenever I'm in Raleigh. No. What they do is like a lot of people, like there's not laws that say you can't buy big cats. I know. So people buy them when they're

little and then all of a sudden they've got full-sized tigers yeah it's pretty dumb yeah well this place gets those oh good and they just have all these cats that are just hanging around all different kinds of big cats they save them from roadside attractions too oh good you know like like these like horrible little zoos yeah and people just don't know what they're getting into i don't i don't understand people have you been to don't know what they're getting into. I don't understand people. Have you been to, do you know what South of the Border is? No.

It's like a roadside attraction. I pass it all the time when we're taking road trips when I was younger and there'd be these huge billboards that'd be like, kids, tell your parents

you want to go to South of the Border and then I was on a road trip during the pandemic actually. Really? Recently. Recently. Yeah.

And we would pass through South Carolina and I was like, oh my God, I've always wanted to see this thing. It just seems just seems so weird we gotta go and we and it's on the border of um south carolina and north carolina so it's south of the border and uh they had this reptile terrarium or whatever you call it and like everything looked so sick

and sad like just these alligators and this like too small tank and these snakes. And I was like, why is this here? Who checks on this? Is this OK? Yeah, it's not. It's not. No, it's not like they have a zookeeper. I don't think so.

I think it's some teenager that just like throws meat in there. It's sad. Yeah. So what's going on with the with the ABC show? Home Economics. Yeah. We're shooting right now. We're shooting the second season right now.

We shot the first season earlier this year we're moving very fast um a premiere september 22nd but yeah it's a fun family comedy so you're busy i'm busy yeah and i yeah shooting the shooting that now i just shot woke season two is your did they expand your role in woke are you in all yeah i am yeah um it's very exciting it's like uh i think the first season was really analyzing the main character's journey on becoming woke and seeing more of what the world is yeah and now i feel like we're analyzing how there's no right way to be woke and like everyone's ideology and how they how how they kind of present information or receive information in the world doesn't necessarily mean it's better than a different version or or yeah

right better or even yeah real yeah yeah i think it's cool i think i'm really excited for the season oh that's great yeah and then you got the podcast yeah you're okay well that's great that way i saw a bit of you did about working at disney world did you really work there yeah i was uh in florida in florida disney world i was doing the disney college program so i was a character performer i walked on stilts i did puppets when was this this is in 2007 when i was still in college so it was like a semester in a summer this was a like you signed up for the disney what is it college program yeah it was uh a semester in a summer. This was like you signed up for the Disney. What is it?

College program. Yeah, it was. What was what were you thinking when you did that? I mean, like, what would you think you would get out of that? I think I wanted some sort of like, I guess, study abroad internship program. But it's not really abroad. I know. Or Orlando. Or Orlando.

I know. I don't know. I just saw it and was like, that looks cool. And I do like Disney. But it was a really fun experience. And I think it was also a way for me to be like, oh, I can work and perform. I just felt like something different than school. So you learned how to be on stilts? I did.

Yeah. I still have a pair of stilts in my closet that I haven't been on in years. But yeah, they teach you how to walk on stilts in my closet that I haven't been on in years. But yeah, they teach you how to walk on stilts. For what? For what reason? Just to have- For the parade. Oh.

I was in Mickey's Jam and Jungle Parade. On stilts. On stilts. And you were also in a suit? Yeah. I would be a lizard or a porcupine, which no one liked that costume. No. No other big characters?

I was friends with, that's what you're supposed to say, you can't be like i was pluto because pluto is pluto but i was friends with pluto um oh no i'm glad you're still honoring the protocol the disney protocol well i still work for disney i still work for abc that's true yeah oh my god yeah not but you're in a different you're friends with who who's your character? I'm friends with Denise now. Well, good. Yeah. So you were wearing the head.

I was wearing the head. Pluto was fun. Because kids love Pluto. Because it's a big old dog. Yeah. And they'd be like, you remind me of my dog. And I'd be like, I'm on two legs though. I'm like six feet tall. There's no way I remind you of your dog. And I'd be like, I'm on two legs though. I'm like six feet tall.

There's no way I remind you of your dog. Do you like kids? I like kids all right. Yeah. Okay. They're okay. Yeah. I guess it's okay to be a, yeah.

You're in a puppet, but it would be bad if you were in the puppet and you didn't really like kids. Oh yeah. No, I liked entertaining the kids. And also I interact with them just like for a second. Sure. And then they look so happy and then they run off and go with their parent. I don't have to see them again.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was great talking to you. Yeah. It was great talking to you too. Um,

what happens now? You can go eat. I guess so. Yeah. I haven't really eaten anything today. I don't think I did either. I worked out though. Did you work out?

What do you do in the morning? It really varies. I worked out yesterday morning. This morning I took a COVID test cause I, for work. Oh yeah. out what do you do in the morning it really varies i worked out yesterday morning yeah this morning i took a covid test because i for work oh yeah and then i meditated at home you took the test no i had to go no i had to go to the set which is maybe i'll take one today yeah i have them oh oh nice i got a bunch of boxes of them yeah the problem is like like because i go on the road so i just want to make sure I'm not the guy spreading it.

Right, right, right. And that'll take when I get back. But I'm also like, I never feel great, ever. So it's kind of random. Could this be it? Yeah, yeah. I don't know how many I'm going to go through. I really have to manage them.

Yeah. I'll do it like set. What do you do, every three days? Yes. Okay. Or every other day. Monday, Wednesday, Fridays is when we do it. So you got a negative test today.

Yeah. That's fun. So I'm in the clear. All right. Talk to you soon. Yeah. That was Sashir Zameda. Watch her on the ABC show Home Economics, The Hulu Show Woke.

And listen to her podcast, friends with nicole byer uh i here are some tour dates i will be at helium in st louis september 16 17 and 18 i believe there are some tickets there st louis i will be at the neptune theater in seattle washington on september 22nd i will be at the aladdin theater uh on 24th. Two shows. I believe the 7 p.m. show is sold out. Tickets, I believe, available for the 10 p.m. show. The Comedy Attic in Bloomington on September 30th, October 1st and 2nd, I believe, is sold out. Sorry. Dynasty Typewriter, October 4th, 8 p.m. I don't know if that's sold out. Dynasty Typewriter, October 10th, I don't know if that's sold out.

Dynasty Typewriter, October 10th, 8 p.m. That's probably not sold out. New York City, the New York Comedy Festival at Town Hall, November 13th. And there's also a Largo date somewhere in there. I'll get that to you later. Go to WTFpod.com slash tour for all of the tickets for the upcoming dates. And now I'll play some guitar with you. Dirty guitar with you. To you.

Through a phase shifter. Thank you. boomer lives monkey in the fonda Boomer lives. Monkey and La Fonda. Cat angels everywhere. We'll see you next time. rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. It's a night for the whole family. Be a part of Kids Night when the Toronto Rock take on the Colorado Mammoth at a special 5 p.m. start time on Saturday, March 9th at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton. The first 5,000 fans in attendance will get a Dan Dawson bobblehead courtesy of Backley Construction. Punch your ticket to Kids Night on Saturday, March 9th at 5pm in Rock City at torontorock.com.