WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 1275 - Ricky Velez

Episode Date: November 1, 2021

Being from Queens is as much a part of Ricky Velez's personality as his humor, his dyslexia and his depression. Ricky tells Marc how he put it all together when he started doing standup in New York City as a teenager, which eventually led to collaborating with Judd Apatow, who produced Ricky's new HBO special. They also talk about Ricky's friendship with Pete Davidson, his failed attempt to join the Coast Guard, and how a TV segment with Bill Nye led to an internet nightmare.  Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Lock the gate! all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fucking ears what's happening are you wearing your what the fucking ear ears how's it going i'm mark maronon. This is my podcast, WTF. Welcome to it. Ricky Velez is on the show. Okay, Ricky is a New York-based comic. He came up on the scene with Pete Davidson. He's in Pete's movie, The King of Staten Island. He was on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore and Master of None. And now he's got his own Judd Apatow-produced stand-up special on HBO. He is Judd Apatow-produced. Judd Apatow produced standup special on HBO. He is Judd Apatow produced. Judd Apatow is producing this guy. He's doing the Judd Apatow graduate program in show business.

He's a good guy. I didn't know him. I didn't come up with him. I didn't see him rise. I was away. I was not in the rooms of New York, you know, when he was coming up, but it did, it did remind me about how I came up. It did remind me about, you know, what, what I went through when I was a young comic in New York. I don't know if it was the same experience he had. He was just one of these young, shiny guys that's, you know, got his eye on the prize, but whatever the case, like I knew I came up in New York. I came up in the hard clubs. I came up in the Boston area. I came up in the one nighter road arena.

And the great thing about talking to Ricky was it reminded me of, yeah, I spent a lot of time in New York. I'm going back in a few weeks to perform there. I feel a connection in New York. It's where I started, but not unlike anywhere else I came from or anywhere else I've come from. There's overwhelmingly bad experiences there that might sort of taint my excitement in general, I'm starting to realize. this down the other day. I don't know if I shared it with you. I'm not sure. When did I do Largo? But I'll tell you, man, I wrote something down on a post-it that said, you know, when I hate myself, I hate anyone who's ever cared for me. And again, a portal has opened that hasn't been opened in a while. And I am clinging to the edge, clinging to the edge, people. Not looking for for sympathy just trying to understand

out loud that's what i do here i try to understand out loud but ricky has a very very there's a there is a new york frequency you know among humans and comics there's a tone man there's a sort of a yeah street smart philosopher guy to call it like it is guy this guy came out of New York he is New York you hear New York he lives New York he breathes New York and that was refreshing to me so we'll talk to him in a second there you go see I just said to talk I guess I'll be doing a little of that I don don't know. You tell me. I also wanted to mention we've got a bunch of new merch for the holidays, including our first ever holiday sweaters. Four different Christmas and Hanukkah sweaters featuring me and the cats. There's also a

limited edition Hawaiian style shirt with me and Buster and Sammy all over it. Yeah, I gotta get one of those. Also, just for the holiday season, Pod Swag is bundling some of our old favorites together at special prices so you can really clean up your holiday shopping for WTF fans. We'll put pictures of all the new merch on our Twitter and Instagram pages, and you can go to podswag.com slash WTF to start shopping, or just click on the merch tab at wtfpod.com. I'm hammering away at comedy in a way that I've never hammered before, to be honest with you. And I start to realize, you know, I've always been a student of comedy and connected and empathic a bit with my fellow comedians, you know, and wondering why or what drives us, you know. But I think that, and this is an observation I made about my mother's boyfriend, John. Like, when I saw him last, he was always very annoying to me and too needy and cranky and didn't listen. It was a lot of things. But somehow or another, because of my own grief, I realized that he had been

through a devastating amount of grief and he was filled with sadness and anger. And I just feel like he keeps talking. He keeps talking to not acknowledge that or to not live in that or to not sort of get stuck in the mire of that. And I'm not sure that's not what I'm doing. Like this type of rage came out of me the other day. I tapped into a type of rage I hadn't seen come out of me for a long time. You know, it comes out of me when I feel invaded or manipulated or, you know, I make some sort of tremendous mistake or I feel misunderstood. misunderstood. And there's been a lot of that rage kind of bubbling up and I see it on stage and it's old style, man. It's old style, Marin. But obviously I have a lot more craft and I'm a lot more grounded, but I do feel that, as I said not long ago, that I have to, how do you reckon with this shit? I've had this all my life, even before Lynn. I'm incapable of trusting people. I'm incapable of, you know, real intimacy.

I mean, I'm incapable of sort of receiving love in any sort of specific personal way. I do okay with audiences because I can leave. I do okay on Instagram, I guess. But that's not real. But I don't think I've ever dealt with this stuff. I guess, but that's not real. But I don't think I've ever dealt with this stuff. It's just by virtue of, you know, surrender and letting go that I was able to start experiencing some of this in my short relationship with Lynn Shelton.

But it wasn't like some easy thing. It took years. There's some part of me in my heart that really doesn't really want to deal with anybody. I don't trust anybody. I'm incapable of it. I always feel like I'm being fucked with. And this shit is not fixed. It's not fixed.

And look, man, I know some of you are like, suck it up, dude. You're a fucking adult. I get it, I guess. But we're all different kinds of adults. Nobody knows what the fuck goes on in anybody. To quote Sidney Pollack from Michael Clayton, people are fucking incomprehensible. People are multitudes. People have a lot of people inside of them. Nothing is that simple. Maybe it is for other people. I don't know. But the truth is, I'm an emotional disaster.

And I wrestle with myself constantly. Right now, I'm going through a profoundly rough patch. And I've got to pull out from making my heart and mind available to the assault of strangers for good and bad. That being said, my comedy has been very good. It's very satisfying, but to tie that all around is that I'm now one of those fucking heartbroken, angry, sad motherfuckers who only has comedy to some degree to work things out and to feel better

and to share it. I have this, yes, but I'm just talking about my true nature, my true drive shaft, down to the core, is making jokes. It's just my DNA. And now it's more important to me than ever, though I think about stopping doing it every day. That's the fucking struggle. So, Ricky Velez.

I watched his special. I enjoyed it. solid it's on hbo i believe it's called uh here's everything it's new it's by produced by judd apatow and i enjoyed talking to him this is me talking to ricky it's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goal tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes.

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This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. So this is it? How long have you been out here? I've been out here four days. Oh yeah? Yeah. This is the big push for the HBO special? Yeah, I decided to come out and do the stuff that you need to do.

Yeah, well, that's responsible of you. Yeah. It seems like you've got a lot of momentum behind you. A lot of people are doing a lot of awesome stuff for me. Yeah? I feel good about it, yeah. But I watched a special last night. It was funny.

Where did you shoot that thing? Brooklyn Steel. Oh, I heard of that place. Yeah. That's the venue. It's a music venue for the guy from LCD Sound night. It was funny. Where'd you shoot that thing? Brooklyn Steel. Oh, I heard of that place. Yeah. Music venue. It's a music venue with a guy from LCD Sound System. Yep.

Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. I've never been there. It's really cool. And who shot it? Did Judd? How much did Judd have to do with it? A lot.

Oh, okay. Yeah, but Michael Bonfaglio. Yeah. And when you, did you decide on the music and everything? Yeah. And all that? Yeah.

Because that's sort of like, like at the beginning was one of those specials like, no, this is serious. And that was your kid at the end of the everything? Yeah. And all that? Yeah. Because that's sort of like, like at the beginning was one of those specials like, no, this is serious. And that was your kid at the end of the special? Yeah. Jumping around playing guitar?

Was that your idea? I just brought him in and they were doing test shots. And yeah, Bonfiglio just was like, roll tape. And then me and my wife were on stage with him.

It was really cool. That was cute. Thank you. It's like, if you're wondering whether he's a fucking human, look, he really has a kid. He's a person.

Dude, that's my guy right there. I love Leo. He's the best. That's his name, Leo? Yeah, he was swimming today. Yeah? Yeah. Out here?

No, we got him in swim class in New York City. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Now, you're, okay, so let me, I can't, like, I seem to have missed your entire, like, there seems to be a generation of comics who's who's uh adolescence i missed entirely in new york uh and i don't know like you know obviously you know what you're doing to a point it's been a while right well i don't do this like i don't podcast or anything no i know but you're a stand-up and i and i've never seen you before and i always for some reason when somebody has a profile i always think like how the fuck am i missing this but i i mean unless i was

in new york i wouldn't have seen you. Yeah. No, we were once like close to each other at the cellar. And that was that. I didn't even come say hi. No, you were just hanging out. Really? Yeah.

But you grew up in where? Queens. Queens Village. See, I don't know where that is. I live in Astoria. Okay. So Queens Village is further out. We're surrounded by like Springfield Gardens.

Okay, so you're on the train. So you're on the R train. No. No. F, last stop. Plus a bus. Oh, really? Yeah.

So it's way out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the R train doesn't even go out there. The R train's gone now, I think. Is it? Yeah. I used to take the N to 30th Avenue, Astoria. Yeah, R's gone, I think.

And it's not something else? Yeah, I think. No, the V is gone. The R is still there. All right. Yeah, yeah, don't so you don't even take that you gotta take it from union square somewhere who i from the city from the city i was so i was in the uptown clubs for a while yeah so i would just like take the f from like midtown okay right to midtown usually and then it goes all the way over way out there all the way out the 179th street last stop so is that like it's almost Long Island?

How's it work? I am two towns out of Long Island, but I'm also backed up against Hollis and Jamaica. Huh. It's one of those areas where it's like you hear about it, it's a mythic area to me, mythological. Yeah, no. What's happening out there?

Nothing, nothing. It's crazy. I was trying to, googled like famous people from like there's nobody like it's you're it yeah no they won't even list me on the wikipedia it's bullshit give it time man they're gonna have to give you a key to the fucking city i'm gonna have to fucking just edit it on wikipedia but what so like what is out there though i mean is it what kind of neighborhood is it it's um it's it's very diverse yeah great like i owe queens right all the well it's the most diverse borough yeah and uh my neighbor filipino next door uh pakistani then i got uh cubans across

the street you grew up with these guys yeah the whole life but yo that's why i didn't understand racism when it got like hot again really when it was yeah i was just like yo you hate somebody because you fucking hate them you don't hate them because of what their situation is. And I think that New York is like one of the only places where, you know, it really is like a melting pot. There's some committed racists out there on the island and, you know, people who are aggravated. But in the city itself, you know, there was a lot of tolerance, and people just kind of moved through it with each other. And I always noticed that.

I never got a sense that there was a separation. Yeah. My mom was Irish. My dad, Puerto Rican. Irish, Irish? Irish, Irish. Like Irish talk with an Irish accent, Irish? No, no, no, no, no.

Right. But four girls, one boy, raised by her father. Catholic. Ran the CCD program. Alcoholic. Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I can't touch on that in this question. Yeah, a little bit. was one boy raised by her father catholic um ran the ccd program alcoholic yeah oh yeah yeah i can't touch on that yeah a little bit i didn't just pull that out i know but that would have been tight but like mark knows everything it would have been almost racist actually yeah oh irish gotta be a fucking drunk right yeah that that stuff ran ran ran far in my family but uh

like how many kids kids in your family? How many brothers and sisters? We're three boys. Three guys. Yeah, I'm middle. You're middle? And what's the other ones doing? One is a graphic artist.

The other one is in IT and a DJ. Really? Yeah. So you're all in sort of the arts. Yeah. And our parents weren't any of that. No? No.

When you were growing up, what were your parents doing? My mom worked for Canon, the camera company, as an executive assistant. And my dad was a carpet layer, like he laid carpet. And then he had his own business and he was doing really well for a while. And then that came out from underneath him and he just joined the union. As a carpet guy. Yeah. No, well, he does flooring.

Flooring. Yeah. Union flooring guy. Yeah. He's still around. Yeah. No, well, he does flooring. Flooring. Yeah. Union flooring guy. Yeah. He's still around. Yeah. That's not so exciting. I mean, not in my life, but he's out there.

Really? Yeah. But your mom's gone. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was the situation like? Because, I mean, you allude to it in the special, and that's all I have to go on, because you don't seem to have your own wiki yet yeah no it got taken away because i got

trolled so bad like yeah i got into some shit with bill nye the science guy early on in my career and i got like docs so bad that they won't let me have a wikipedia wait a minute how do you get into something with bill i was on the nightly show it's so annoying i hate dude i was on the nightly show he came on about what nightly show larry wilmore annoying. Dude, I was on the nightly show. He came on about what? What is a nightly show? Larry Wilmore show. Oh, that's right. I was a correspondent.

Oh, okay. So you had a thing. You did a thing. I've done things, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Larry was the first one to get eyes on me, and he put me on a show, and I basically would just say wild shit.

But Bill Nye came on, and he was like, there's water on Mars. And I was like, yo, listen, man, there like there's not like trump's first in the polls and isis is killing the game fuck mars i can't get excited about her right and they took it as me being a science denier and doxed my family and everybody else really yeah it was wild who's they read it i was on the front page of reddit for three days saying that this guy's anti-science just basically that i was bullying bill not a science guy so you got you got a a nerd pile on it was wild but but opening for chapelle at the same time so this doc thing so what were what how does that kind of play out what were they basically doing it just like i just went quiet for a while were they threatening

you they got my parent and parents phone number and they posted it and then they were just like calling them nonstop. Like shit like that. To say what? My favorite one was my mom didn't find this funny, but I did was a guy who goes, what color are your walls? And my mom's like, what? And they go, we want to know what color paint chips Ricky ate as a kid. And I was like, this guy was creative, at least with his fucking hate. At least he had a good joke.

Nice little turn of phrase there. He had that planned. So when you're growing up out there, I mean, were you one of these people? Because it seems like the way you talk about it, was it either going to be criminality or comedy? Or what was going on when you were? It was, you know, I liked trouble. I liked getting in trouble I was never allowed to sleep outside my house until I was over 18 years old you wanted to sleep in the street no my parents wouldn't let me sleep at people's house because she knows that my mom

knew I would just take off like that's like who I was like you you'd be gone I wasn't allowed to drive a car until I was over 21 wait well how when did this start this problem I mean when did they start to realize like junior high this kid's the problem? The minute I was able to get out of their eyesight. Really? Yeah. Was it because you didn't want to be at home? I don't know.

I mean, there's trouble in my family. Like, it might just be in my genes. Well, what about your bros? I mean, were they? My older brother, really smart, hardworking, and great baseball player. But did he split? He could have went and played. I mean, like, was he a problem kid?

No, mom knew he was good. Oh, yeah. Younger one, wilder than me. Oh, really? Yeah could have went and played. But I mean, like, was he a problem kid? No, mom knew he was good. Oh, yeah. Younger one, wilder than me. Oh, really? Yeah, but in different ways. Yeah? Yeah. What's his trip?

He's in that techno DJ world, man. Oh, all right. Yeah. A lot of dancing. Ooh, there's a lot of dancing. A lot of dancing and concoctions. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. But I mean, how much of, like i it's weird because there's like there is a new york kind of sensibility right and i mean you kind of and you you embody it and there's some other comics that do as well and there's just a whole tone to real new york natives it doesn't matter what borough it is but you know it's kind of like a you know a simple aggravation that's uh fueled by uh intelligence i appreciate there's like a street smart element to it but you know but you obviously you you know you put things together but there is a disposition uh it's not even a callousness there's just a sort of like what you know there's a disposition. And you sort of have it because you grew up there.

And I don't know exactly know where it comes from, but I know what it is. So when you're in the situation you're in at home, you just take to like, you know, this is not, I'm going to live on the streets in a way. I wasn't allowed to live on the streets. No, I know. But I mean, but you were informed by you know that world right like you know you're dealing with whatever you're dealing with at home and you still got to go to school in new york city right yeah so you know you're getting this education but when did you finally tell him to go fuck themselves well i i my parents were either like you're doing this or you're doing that like go to college or join the

military and uh yeah i tried you tried to join them it didn't go well i uh how old were you uh My parents were either like, you're doing this or you're doing that. Like, go to college or join the military. Really? Join the military? I tried. You tried to join the military? It didn't go well. How old were you? I left college. I was 19. That's when you tried to join the military? It was right before I started comedy.

But what starts going on in junior high? How are you fucking up? Did you get busted? So my parents lied about our address so I can go to a better school. Yeah, I did that too. Yeah. Not a better one, just where my friends were. So now I was going to the nicer school and and then I like, I was a town away.

I was able to get away with more. I had to take the bus so that I had responsibility that I can cheat on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So like things like that would happen. I would, yeah. And then once I got into high school, I started going to Long Island City every day. Yeah.

And then that's like, they had no eyes on me. What the hell's in Long Island City? I went to that Frank Sinatra School of the Arts. Okay. Now that it's in Astoria now. Really? Yeah. I never heard of this. Yeah. But what about all this stuff that's going on at home? Like in, in what you talk about on the special, I mean, when did you start realizing that you were in this, uh, this chaotic, you know, anger booze driven years later you didn't really register i thought it was very normal i thought a lot of this stuff was normal i actually didn't realize like i didn't realize your parents could be wrong until like my mom was already gone

really yeah i kind of just believed everything my parents said for a long time what was going on in the house when you were kids i mean dad big guy um full puerto rican full puerto rican from the south bronx yeah um tough guy yeah really tough guy um and he had uh anger problems he had emotional problems now that i look at i think he had depression um i have depression that's why i think yeah really bad manic really yeah the first half of my day is trying to figure out how to get myself together and stop thinking so negatively. But you're like a bipolar guy? No. No.

No, no, no, no, no. But you just, what, you wake up and you're like, ugh. Yeah, and your head's spinning and you're trying to make, like, you're making up. You can't get out of bed or what? Yeah. But you do have mania too? Yeah.

That comes later in the day or when? It just, it can unravel. You can say something wrong to me in this interview but you do have mania too yeah that comes later in the day or when it just it can unravel you can say something wrong to me in this interview and I'll fucking go spin about it for the next 24 hours well

I well that's sad because like you'll figure out something to do that about anyway like you'll leave here no matter what happens and be like

oh fuck impossible no I won't do that okay I won't do that well that's good yeah so you've got a little bit

of a handle on it but do you think I guess the question is with that kind of disposition do you think that that's like you know in you that it's a like a biological thing or just because i think that's biological i think that's biological but there was also like once again like being physical with your kids and uh threatening them but was there a situation where you never knew what the fuck you were gonna get we basically knew what the night was gonna be like once dad pulled in the driveway just by his tone or by his tone who if he came and said hi yeah um all three of you just sitting

there like panicked and your mother there was an anxiety in there yeah and my mom like like yeah she she tried to just keep everything good and that's what she did for a really long time she just kept everything good and like kind of blocked us from who he was and what he does and it was just it was really tough when she passed because i had to learn all of it really fast that thing isn't it odd i mean as you get older when you really you wonder like why the hell did people stay with each other i guess it was for you guys uh i think it was money oh yeah i think it was money yeah we didn't come from it so i mean or have it around i think i think there was a lot of it that was just like this is what it is and i got to take care of my kids so you're my mom's right so your earliest memories were just of him just

being scary generally i always feared my father yeah yeah i guess he always do i kind of did too and it was because he was erratic there was no you know it was not like comforting when they were around it even like yeah there but that's the weirdest thing that at times there was that yeah where it'd be like this big monstrous guy and he can do anything as he please and then next thing you know he would ask you to like sit with you and put his arm around you and you're like what the fuck is happening yeah yeah mixed messages and fucked up yeah but he was a fun guy sometimes sometimes yeah sometimes but then yeah it just um it deteriorated it actually it was getting better right before mom died do you think it was what was it once i moved out me and him got along again oh really and yeah huh do you think it was what was it fueled by

was it just a depression or was it it was he i think he hated his life i think he was really upset with his situation so shame you think i don't know because he was doing better than a lot of his family he did a lot better than a lot of his family. Do you have a big Puerto Rican side? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. You ever see a fight at a funeral?

I have. A lot of cousins? Yeah. Yeah. I find it funny because they have to tell me that. We're cousins. I'm like,

you usually don't have to say that. Yeah, but do you have, are there a lot of, like you have grandparents alive or anything like that? No, everyone is gone. No, there's been a lot of Like you have grandparents alive Or anything like that No everyone's gone No there's been a lot of death

In my family Yeah Incredible Since I was like 12 years old Was the first time I No before Yeah around that time I lost my first aunt

Oh really Breast cancer It would ravage my family pretty bad Really Yeah on my mom's side Oh my god But so And that's not what took my mom

Which was Terrible What was it My mom just had a heart attack out of nowhere valentine's day oh 2016 uh 55 that's terrible yeah yeah yeah yeah sorry buddy no it's fine yeah but like when you when when we were so you think that his just he just didn't like that his place in life and and it frustrated, so he took it out on everybody else. I don't know what it was.

I just think, I know for a fact, like his parents were really terrible to him. Yeah. And that definitely put a lot of strain on him as he got older. But you don't feel, you don't have any closure with the guy? I don't, I guy? I do.

I do. Yeah, I've thought about it. I've played the pros and cons of him being in my son's life, and it's just not worth it. Oh, man. No, my brother had to deliberate that, too, with my dad. Like, you know, deciding. Like, this is only the second time I've really heard about it,

where you're like, you know what the guy is you know who he is and there's part of you that must say like you know well you want the kid to know his grandfather but if they're you know if they're not going to be anything positive then what the fuck why risk it well it's not even that i went as far as to go like hey i want I called him as I was going to have a kid. We were already estranged. And I turned to him and I was like, I want you to be in my kid's life, but we and my brothers need to go to professional help to figure this out. And he took that as like therapy and things like that is not a thing. Like in my family, I think I'm probably the first person to ever do it.

Really? Yeah. So he just took that as some sort of attack and said, fuck it, fuck you? Yeah, my numbers never changed. Yeah, but there was a period there you said when you moved out where you did get along. Yeah, when my mom was still alive.

I brought my dad and mom to JFL when I got it. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, what year was that? I did 2015 or 16, I got Variety top 10. So right before she passed away. Yeah. And so was her passing that fucked that? Destroyed us, destroyed us.

I think me and my brothers is just getting back on our feet, honestly. Really? Yeah. And did your brothers have the same sort of response in terms of your father? My older brother took the longest, but he's the most like my mom, where he will allow somebody to do things to him

and not- Or codependent. No, not even that. He just like cares. He had to keep going back and trying to make it right. Right, right. My younger brother was living with my dad when my mom passed.

And when that happened, he basically- Bolt he basically got asked to leave the house. Really? Yeah. My younger brother lost the most. He lost his dog. He lost his mom. He lost his home. He got asked to leave the house?

Well, my dad started dating, dude. Like, it's crazy. Yeah. And my younger brother was in the house for all this stuff and it was really bad. And me and my older brother had to jump into play and start playing parental to my younger brother who was graduating college that year oh my god so so were they together when she died yeah and that was like the best time like i dude it's

crazy like it was my my dad's older brother stole his trumpet when he was in high school that was gifted to him from the high school because he was the best trumpet player and he graduated early and that wasn't something that happened in that town for trumpet and graduate yeah and they gifted him yeah his brother pawned it okay i went and found that trumpet and bought it back for him the trumpet yeah that man tells you he hates me he got his trumpet back wow so he did he give up the trumpet though? I have no clue. I have no clue. But what I'm saying is like, if he was this gifted trumpet player and the trumpet disappeared,

was that the end of his trumpeting? Yeah. There's not money like that to throw around for more trumpets. Right. The school's giving you a trumpet because they know you got nothing else. He had a creative dream though, huh? I guess so. He was actually really good at like carpet like in the way of

like people don't even understand like how good he was at it like he right he did like vinnie testaverti's house while we were in high school and all this stuff because he was really good at bordering and uh like putting the borders on craftsman yeah yeah beyond he he built our whole house basically from the inside like he like used to take rooms apart put them back together the two-story Queens houses? Three. We had a basement. Oh, yeah, basement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was in a row of the same kind of houses? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everybody kind of lives in sort of the same house? On top of each other. Yeah, everybody's in the same house. Yeah, different stuff on the porch or on the terrace. That's how you know it's yours. Yeah, and everybody acts like theirs is fancier than the next one. It's just the same piece. Yeah. I don't i miss queens i miss queens i i love it i still go back a lot i like to go see my friends um it's just really hard for me it really is so when did you uh when did you start

realizing that uh you wanted to do the comedy i I mean, was it directly related to you getting in fucking trouble all the time, or what? I went to school for acting when I went to that Frank Sinatra school. After high school, though? No. Or for high school? I went to college for a year to a college that closed. Wait, wait.

Mark. What college is that? Dowling College in Long Island. It closed. My college closed, Mark. While you were there? No, not while I was there, but afterwards. Sorry, everyone's got to go home.

My credits are deleted, though. Really? I don't know where the fuck I can get them. The school's closed. I'm not going back. It's too late now. No, I know, but you would think there'd be some record of you doing something. You just were there a year?

Yeah. And you took that as a sign? And once again, out of my parents' eyesight, I was on fire out there. What does that mean, on fire? I was driving with no license. Yeah. No, we were living dangerous. Yeah?

Yeah, it was crazy. Like what? Like crazy? Drugs? Booze? Yeah. Driving around? Yeah.

Putting your life on the line? There was some things. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah? Yeah, and the Dowling was in like this summertime. You just go steal somebody's boat. Right, so you had all the Richies coming down with their stuff. But then they would leave.

And then we'd just go take the fucking boat. Take the boat for a spin? Yeah. Leave it somewhere? Yeah. Ruin it? Not ruin it, but I mean, leave it somewhere it wasn't supposed to be. Never got busted, though.

No. For stealing the boat. Nope. So then left there. But you weren't the kind of guy that was on a death trip, it doesn't sound like. No, I was just trying to have a lot of fun. Yeah, yeah. Stealing boats.

Pretty fun. One or two. You're saying boats like we did this every day like we would no just you know in the summer but that was like the type of town too where people would like leave their keys in their car right so you just be like i can get to 7-eleven and then walk back uh that's fun yeah so when do start? So you go to college for a year. Mm-hmm. And then you, what, did you realize in college that you wanted to do stage shit or what? No, I wanted to join the Coast Guard. Oh, yeah, what happened with that? Yeah.

That was the military idea? Yeah, so I was going to join the Coast Guard. Because your dad was busting your balls about it? Not really, but I knew I just couldn't drop out of college and come home. Because he wouldn't take it? No, that would not have been a situation. So I tried to join the Coast Guard. I knew a kid that had from my high school.

His name was Devin. And Devin came back while I was a senior in the whole outfit. It's only like a two-year run, right? Yeah, shorter and then he was also like being like yo you can still smoke blunts you know when the drug test is coming i was like oh this is dope go down to miami smoke blunts and catch cubans like i didn't understand yeah and i went to uh i went as far as going to the medical it's called meps yeah and it's in brooklyn and it's on a fort and I went through the whole process and then they went back through my uh medical history and I had seizures when I was a kid you did and they never figured out why and um they basically made me go ahead and get a cat scan and that's when they found like a spike in my brain wave and they said that's like probably

why I have such tough times reading huh yeah yeah and this is like you're 19 when you 19 i had failed english my whole entire high school career everybody but i said i went to high school when you can still call somebody dumb right so they're just like he's dumb that's fine he's got problems what do you want maybe you'll find a good job where he doesn't have to read so i was so like once that happened uh my homie uh dylan hall parents owned Hall Carpets, and they gave me a job. So I was laying carpet just like my dad. And that's when I started comedy. When you failed the Coast Guard test.

Yeah. So that's weird to find out that there's an explanation. I didn't fail the test. I failed the physical. The medical, yeah. But sorry, man. No worries. No worries.

No worries. No. You nailed it. The physical stuff. All the other stuff, nailed it had no control over what he failed dude the military gave me a cat scan yeah but but how would how'd that make you feel though after like being who you were for over so many years and then there's an explanation for it um but it's not like it's not a chronic condition it It's just a thing. It's just a thing.

A glitch. I guess. And that's what caused your dyslexia. That's what they're saying. Huh. How does a dyslexia manifest itself? You can't focus or you can't put words together. Both.

And then like my writing, like I'll think I wrote something and it's completely not that. Is that how you got the act? Somewhat. I'm going gonna go spin about that after this that was amazing i thought i was writing something else it came out okay no it's a good no i don't write like that no no me neither really no all right oh i would take you as a writer no i work it all out on stage that's awesome yeah don't you is that what you do yeah i mean i can tell like there's a when you do long form stuff you know you just kind of keep running it until it falls into place that's always been the way i do it i'll write down ideas

words a list you know things that aren't funny but i want to remember and then you just the only problem with working like that is you forget a lot of good shit yeah you miss those small tags that like hit in certain places. And I hate watching myself, too. Me, too. I'll record myself all the time. I've been on the road for months now putting this hour together. I haven't listened to one.

I must have 60 fucking sets. And I'm like, that's a good one. I don't make a note like, this part of this set was good. That's all we would have to do, man. Like, this one. Remember Friday night in Seattle because this bit worked good. Just make that note. No.

I didn't listen to any of it. Yeah, same here. And then I got to do Town Hall next month. That's going to be great. Yeah. What a room. I haven't done it. It's the coolest.

Are you doing it for the festival? Yeah. Awesome. It's like I'm downsizing because I like it better. I did Carnegie and I've done the Beacon. And I wanted to do Town Hall primarily because like, I don't know. I don't need that many. I like it.

You know, 1,500 is enough. Is that what Town Hall is? Maybe a little more. Yeah. Maybe a little more, like 16, 17. What's bigger, Carnegie or Beacon? They're about the same. I think Carnegie is like 24, 25.

I think the Beacon is like 22-ish. Yeah. But like it starts to get too big to me. Yeah. about the same i think carnegie's like 24 25 i think the beacon's like so beautiful yeah but i but like it starts to get too big to me yeah for me because i like to have that you don't ever have like the garden dream no no i don't really no oh see i i definitely yeah i've talked to who else i was talking to uh hassan minaj you know there's definitely a type of mindset around comedy that i do not have and what the garden dream okay i do not have that you know for me like a nice theater reasonable size where i can still get you know where i don't have to change my pace or feel like i'm leading a rally is really where i'm at you know i don't i don't know what I'd tell an entire garden.

I mean, I did the Oddball Festival, and that's like 23,000. Yeah. But then all you're doing, it's literally you're just sort of like, I want to experience this. I don't want to do this every night. Because then when you do like 23,000 people,

you got to figure out which joke lands hard and is short. So I can kind of go bing, ka-bing. There you go. Wait five minutes for 20,000 people. To stop clapping. Yeah, or whatever. And then move on to the next thing. It's something I like knowing that I can do, but it's not my dream.

Okay. There you go. Do you understand? I do. I do. So tell me about this quest for power that you have then. You want the garden. I just need control, Mark.

It's all about control. Yeah, well, that's what happens when you grow up in insanity. You're just trying to get- Manage. Yeah, I need 23,000 people to like me because one man didn't. The world, man. That's how it all starts. Yeah, both for good and bad that's interesting i don't know if i ever thought about it like that before because i know a lot of dudes a lot of guys in comedy that had absent fathers shitty fathers whatever it is but the father thing you know that

that approval and that love or that not forthcoming that leads to a lot of uh good and bad things yeah yeah yeah you seek it through other people too yeah i grew up like that yeah just because my dad was nuts and a little detached you just you're like oh this guy seems like he'd be a good dad you had a few of those i have my best friend's dad was like around a lot oh really yeah oh yeah did you ever have that uh that horrible conversation where why can't you be more like so-and-so's dad? No, I get punched in the mouth. Yeah, we had one of those. No punching, just a whole family of crying people.

Wow. Also, why don't you go live with them? Oh, that was my favorite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That and if you go to jail, I'm not getting you out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were told that a lot. Oh, really?

Yeah. That was the big lesson so what's your what's your friend's dad do uh he owned the carpet company that i ended up working for oh really yeah and he also like he also like was my best friend was at my acting school with me but we also played baseball and you knew when you were a kid yeah oh did your dad work for him yeah oh wow at one. So it's all tight together. Yeah. So when you start going to this Frank Sinatra school, I'm sorry.

Yeah. I'd never heard of it, and I'd like to know more about the Frank Sinatra school. Tony Bennett started it. Seinfeld spoke at our first graduation. It was really cool. I got to meet very famous people and workshop with them. It was a really crazy experience. And you started there when you're 18 19 i went there when i was 13 oh so this is that's a high school oh this was half the day was high school half the day was acting oh no shit yeah

so what was the curriculum then so you'd spend you'd do the math and the whatever in the morning and then just go over to long island city and do that no we would we do it in the same place oh yeah it's all connected in one school. And you do your daytime schoolwork. So that was your high school. Yeah, and the other half of your day was just learning about the arts. And I had failed English so many times by the junior year.

Yeah. I had to be taken out of the arts program, so I only went for school, basically. Huh. My parents didn't want me to relocate to our our our uh local school so i stayed at sinatra so but what happened when he got taken out of the arts wasn't that what you were there for yeah i just i i i had to figure out um how to graduate on time oh but wait but but what were the like what were you doing theater and stuff yeah that's all i did uh everybody went for one

one subject okay and i went for theater and and it became an obstacle to not be able to read the scripts and shit or what? Yeah, I have a really bad time with memorization and stuff like that. But you knew you liked being on stage. I love being on stage. Yeah. And who'd you get to work with? Awesome people. They come in and like, was it a situation like they were doing charity?

Not even, but like Billy Joel and Tony Bennett put out an album together while I was in school. And we used to go with them to Good Morning America to help promote the CD and whatnot. They'd be like, the kids from Frank Sinatra School of the Arts. And then we'd go fucking skip and smoke weed in Central Park, man. I was jaded by it by the time I left. Kevin Spacey spoke at my high school graduation. Yeah. Yeah.

The old Kevin Spacey? Yeah, the one we liked. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, not the new one. That would be weird. Before we knew the truth of the Kevin Spacey. Yeah, Bruce Willis. They've always had awesome names come in and speak at the school.

And did you get to meet Tony Bennett? Yeah, he was around a lot. Yeah? He was around a lot. Nice guy? His wife was my teacher. Oh, really? Yes.

Good guy? Great guy. How could that guy not be a great Yeah? He was around a lot. Nice guy? His wife was my teacher. Oh, really? Yes. Good guy? Great guy. How could that guy not be a great guy? So nice, so charming. Everything about him was incredible. Now, Billy Joel seems a little rough. He wasn't really around us too much. Yeah, like he would just use us.

He seemed like a little cranky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Throw the kids out there. Yeah. But Willis and Seinfeld was there. Yeah. Lady Gaga, after I graduated graduated her and uh her and tony would do a bunch for the school really yeah she kind of fascinates me she i know what i love

about her what i can see her and not know it's her like i don't know what she looks like right yeah i have no clue what lady gaga looks yeah yeah but i i think she's so cool i do too yeah you know i there's certain women that you know performers where like i don't listen to her music regularly but i'm very impressed with them like adele i don't know i just i decided the other day that i love adele oh you're a del fan now i just gonna i i don't know i have one record but i like there's something about her presence and and the way she carries herself publicly i'm sort of of like, all right, I'm on board. I'm in. Yeah. Like that's unique.

Yeah. Join the rest of the fucking world. So when do you first do like actual standup? 19. At school? And bring her show at New York Comedy Club. Oof. Yeah. Yeah.

But I wrote a set when I was really young. Like I physically wrote it. It was on like a yellow piece of paper. I was really young because I remember my it um it was on like a yellow piece of paper i was really young because i remember my mom found it and she's like what is this one of the jokes was about not being banged by michael jackson okay like i was maybe like 13 14 what did you had you just watched i used to do i used to come home and my older brother would uh love the daily show and we would just watch the half hours until the Daily Show came on.

Oh, Comedy Central or whatever? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we'd be home until our parents were done with work by ourselves. So we'd just sit there and watch Comedy Central, watch all the half hours. So that's why- Dude, Nick Griffin? Yeah.

Oof. I can do that half hour back and forth. Him of all people. I loved his half hour. He was great. Yeah, all those. He's still around, isn't he? I see Nick all the time. I love his half hour. He was great. Yeah, all those. He's still around, isn't he? I see Nick all the time.

I love Nick. Yeah, that's good. It's nice that Nick Griffin's got a diehard fan. No, are you kidding me? He's one of the best writers in New York City. Yeah, I mean, he's always been there, man. I mean, he's like from my group, I think, probably. And I think he's a little underappreciated, so I'm sure he would love hearing that.

Is there a group of people that think Nick Griffin's the man? Yeah. Oh, good. Yeah. All the young guys love Nick. He's always been a gentleman. He's always nice, and he kills. Yeah.

And he's got that one tone, doesn't shift, all jokes, right? Pulling on his hair. Yeah. Yeah, I remember I interviewed him years ago. I know. I've watched. You heard that? watched yeah that one yeah it's a good one

it's a dark one yeah it is it is a dark one he's a dark guy but so but you're writing well you must have

been really committed to it because you don't like to write yeah so you wrote you wrote it out like this weird thing

when I was young yeah I had this 13 or 14 years old yeah and you're watching the half hours and you're like you know I could some part of you thought you could do it and then it took me another like that's how you got that's how that's how Judd was sort of like I like this guy he's

he loves any anyone who stayed at home after school with no parents and watched comedy that's his guy yeah yeah that makes a lot of sense well that's his life yeah you know no there's there's crazy me and Judd relate in weird ways. That's crazy. Yeah? Yeah. There's a lot of it. Well, I mean, yeah, I could definitely see that. But you don't do it at the theater school.

You don't try stand-up there. No, we were not learning stuff like that. The closest thing we got to do there to that was improv, and I was dirty at improv. I was awesome. That was my favorite thing to do. Oh, yeah. But then, like, we had to take breathing classes, to that was improv and i was dirty at improv i was awesome that was my favorite thing to do oh yeah but then like we had to take breathing classes and we had to take like speech classes and all

this theater shit that like i got so jaded to and i was so immature at that time to even learn anything like that by the time i left the school i was like fuck this i'm never doing it again yeah but i think some of it set in i think some of of it stuck. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because, I mean, you do have a certain composure that, you know, is antithetical to the streets you come from. I mean, maybe you just learned that. But you do seem to have gotten some humility and some smarts along the way. It came, the humility and the rest of that came after my mom died. Right. I was untouchable before that. Really? fuck you well not even that my mom was hyping me up too oh really oh she was my number one fan yeah yeah don't take shit from nobody like yeah tough yeah i didn't get new faces

yeah um and my mom like wrote a whole fucking Facebook thing cursing out Jeff Singer. Like, no, Joe. Like, yeah. And she was like, you're going to get Variety Top 10. And when I did, I brought my mom to Montreal. That's insane. So wait, so all this time. My mom used to beg to be my manager.

Really? Yeah. But you didn't take her up on it? No, no shot. But so from the get-go when you wanted to do art, your father was probably like, what the fuck is this kid doing? But your mom was into it? Well, my brother was an incredible baseball player. Yeah.

And it was just, you know, the second kid's now doing theater. Yeah, right. So it did feel a certain way. Did he bully you? No. Uh-uh. I don't know. I would say, yeah. Well, you well you weren't like he couldn't call

you a pussy really right yeah good yeah yeah but i mean what you seem like you're a scrappy guy uh yeah i'll scrap but at the same time like i um like yeah i wasn't my dad was the toughest man in the world he was the biggest guy he was yeah yeah yeah so yeah in a way he was a bully yeah yeah so the biggest thing was he hates bullies and liars and he's a bully and a liar yeah that's the way it goes man right as he put it out on the other person that ain't me it's so transparent though isn't it it's weird i mean i i when they do that it's it's like but it's you i've had you got to own that shit in yourself at some point. If you got it in you. I mean, you must've at some point realized like, oh fuck. When you,

when you turn into him. Yeah. And I was doing that in comedy. I was doing that in comedy. Oh yeah. I was very aggressive. On stage or off? Both.

Oh yeah. Yeah. When you started? I looked at it as a competition. If me and you were on a show, I didn't want anybody to know your name when I got off stage. Yeah. It was just like,

you're gonna crush, gonna erase that guy. Yep that guy yep yeah see i had that mindset for a long time like i don't know that i was ever like that i was more i was more the guy going like no fuck what am i gonna do after this shit you know what this guy's like oh man they're not gonna like me like i was so self-involved it was never a competition always a competition no i was always in my own competition and i think larry willmore helped me with that a lot where i realized there's enough room for everybody yeah i i kind of i realized that too but i was never sure that there was a you know that there was necessarily enough room for me but it wasn't something i was fighting for i was just trying to stay like i was you didn't think you were even in the room. No, I did, but I always felt like I was always hard on myself.

So it wasn't like, fuck, I'd say, fuck that guy, fuck this guy. But ultimately, I was just like, how am I going to get out from under me beating the shit out of myself to fucking do that? You were that aware? Yeah, kind of. That you were doing that to yourself? Yeah, yeah. That's impressive. Well, it took a while to realize I'm just setting myself up to fail.

How old are you when this is happening? Oh, who the fuck knows? I didn't get really comfortable on stage until I was in my 40s. I was pretending the whole time. But there was that idea of like, this is going to suck. You know, to this day,

if a comic gets on who went on before me and walks up and goes, they're a great crowd, I'm like, fuck. Like, I never take that as meaning for me. Yeah. Like, in my mind, it's like, it's a great crowd for you. I'm a different animal.

We'll see what happens out there. And it's almost like, watch me fuck it up. My favorite thing to say is, we'll see. Yeah, yeah. We'll see. Yeah, we'll see how this goes. But so, when you do, how was the first show? Who was around?

What was- Bringers. Right, but did you have comic friends? I mean, you just decided to go do it? Yeah, go do it. And you just looked at figuring it out? My friends thought I was fucking crazy, man, because all my friends at this point are in college.

I'm in a college that's now closing. Right. I have left a club that had- Yeah. One of my best friends to this day had to take time away from me because he really just thought i was losing my goddamn mind really and yeah he thought i was just going down the wrong path with the comedy yeah but your mom was always into it yeah

but she really wanted me to act oh okay yeah but she saw a way through i mean like that kind of leads to that i think stand up the thing about-up that opened her eyes to it and whatnot was how accessible these comics were, these famous people. They're very accessible in this game. They're around, and you're in the same room as them. And she's coming to bringers. Oh, she is? Yeah.

She really is. Yeah, she's coming to bringers. Real team mom, huh? And they're sprinkling pros in, pros in. So now she's like, oh, that guy coming to bringers. Real team mom. And they're sprinkling like pros in. So now she's like, oh, that guy was in a commercial. Ricky, you could be in a commercial. Like they're just so like didn't understand like how it played. I saw that guy in a local lotto commercial.

Exactly. So like everything felt like so close. So I was so competitive about but like getting anything so what were you doing just tight jokes just slammers like you know like shock value or what or just like uh i tell stories i like i was all stories always stories um yes and no um a lot of it because that's a very specific thing you know like you know even with like i think you know when you look at somebody like nick you know you learn how to you know that everything needs to punch but like if you're a storyteller you can't get out from under that and there's a risk to

storytelling you know because you know you could be 10 minutes in and be like this ain't gonna this is not working right now this this didn't this worked better in atlanta you can't eject yeah you know it's like i'm to have to ride this out. Yeah. No, I think the most important thing that happened to me was I started working at a comedy club. And working at a comedy club- Which one? I made it a Broadway comedy club on 53rd Street. Yep.

And on by- Yep. The Al Martin. Yep. And I worked there for three years. The one in the basement? Yep. That echoey, shitty room?

Dude, I painted the ceiling of that basement. That shit was... I used to do the most odd jobs for that man. You have no clue. Well, he was one of those guys. Yeah. If you worked for Al Martin, you could be driving or... Yeah, you could be...

Cooking the thing or trying to... His dentist is doing 15 minutes. Deal with that guy, that weird dude, Steve, who worked at the... Aaron's. Is that the guy? Yeah, I know, exactly. That was the first person to put me on stage

at my bringer, dude. Wait, the dude with the muscles? Yeah, the little muscled gay guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He used to cook this stuff in the oven? Yep. I love that you know him.

Of course I know him. So, yeah, so I used to work in between those clubs. The thing about Al is like, we're adding a third room to New York. I'm like, where? The closet. know him of course they know him so yeah that so i used to work in between those clubs the thing about alice like we're adding a third room to new york i'm like where the closet we just opened the closet we got four seats so you can do three sets and at the what are you fucking times not a room yeah and i my deal with him was i got as long as i was working there i was also allowed to do all

the shows the fucking bathroom with the sliding door at new york the fuck was that the new owner has killed it it's great have you been to the new one the new the new york still there yeah like what is it 22nd 23rd 23rd no 24th between uh second and third right yeah yeah it's good he has two clubs now he took over eastville this is this kid oh eastville's all right. Emilio Savone. But that back room in both, that room in the back room, the big room in New York and Eastville, that got that bad sound, that bouncy bullshit sound in there. I'm very sensitive to that shit. Like Eastville should have been great, but it was like working in a goddamn bathroom.

Like tile walls. Yeah. Tile floor. It's better. It's better. So you were an Al Martin guy. I was an Al Martin guy. He gave me work. He got me out of laying carpet,

and he would just give me odd jobs to do around the club. I've done everything from waitering to bartending to painting the ceiling of the goddamn place. And you could do how many spots a week? I mean, he had three showrooms at that time, so I was doing three shows a night at least. And then I was very eager to get out and once again i was lucky enough to be able to tell the difference between good comedy and bad

comedy so i'd watch nick griffin come in i'd watch mike vecchione yeah greer barnes yeah um uh like the guys that would go and do that club it's so funny that like those are guys that most people if you're not new york would know they wouldn't know do you know what i mean i mean vecchione is one of the best yeah unbelievable it's unbelievable yeah and greer's always kills he murders i know he's been around for as long as i have he used to host a room up in uh up uh the west side uh the upper west like up up by Columbia, up near Harlem. He used to run a room up there when I was starting out, dude. I just can't imagine him running a room.

Yeah. No, he used to be there the whole time. I can't remember. I don't think it was called West side, but there was like, there were all these like rooms in New York that you just run and do. And he was definitely the regular guy at one of them,

uptown. Maybe it was uptown. But these guys were always good to me even though i was like an annoying little kid they would answer all my questions they would not stop they were always so good and i'm one of these people that am not afraid to ask questions sure i aziz at the beginning like when he was human giant and all that stuff and uh funny people was happening like at the bottom of his website he had an email i just wrote him

a full email he wrote me back and I just kept in touch with him for and now we're friends yeah but you didn't you weren't a UCB guy

you weren't doing any of that no fuck that I know I had those people left that too lone wolf man no it's not even that

it's just like where you come up from where I come up like that and I'm like not oh you saw that as sort of there's minimal

Brooklyn rooms that book Ricky Velez right right right that you saw that as sort of there's there's minimal brooklyn rooms that book ricky velez right right yeah so you got a chip on your shoulder about that what my parents didn't have money to send me to improv class yeah there's something about that well no i mean but i i i'm different with it i mean i have the same chip but it's not because of money it's just because it's sort of uh there just seems to be, it's like there's a warrior element to doing stand-up. It's like, we're out there on our own, you know, cutting through the forest. No, I just think the system stuff is weird. Like, you're supposed to do stuff a certain way.

Yeah, you got to go to different levels. That's where the chip on the shoulder comes. Because there is no right way of doing this stuff. And these people act like there's... No, but yeah, but like like that's what i'm saying you come from a traditional of a tradition of new york kind of a street smart edge where you know you've got to do the job you know you're not going to dance around with three other guys you know trying to find uh you know the riff you know what i mean i and i was never a good collaborator i mean it's sort of like, I know what stand-up is.

It's just me. I go do the thing. No one else is showing up. There's a mic there. I'm good. Yeah. I like that. I always like that.

I think it's a control thing again. Yeah. Right? Most likely. Anger and control. Are you my dad, dude? Yeah. We're all your dad, dude.

That's why you're here. That's why you're a stand-up. We're all your dad dude that's why you're here that's that's why you're a stand-up we're all your dad so that's terrible imagine uh he was a stand-up um so you're there and you're learning from these guys and then like i was so eager to get out and like vecchione turned to me and he was like yo just stay here until you have a great act stay here and don't go out and he was completely right and then i got into the comic strip and caroline's and all those clubs within three months after three years of just pounding yeah yeah yeah and then so you were you could go you could on a weekend you could make a few hundred bucks man city i was hosting a lot uh-huh i was hosting a lot so yeah yeah the comic strip was hosting the hell out of me oh that's good yeah good. Yeah, and I loved it.

Well, that really gets you, enables you to work out. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And also get off. Like, okay, that joke didn't quite land, but here's this guy. Yeah. Enjoy Sherrod Smalls, everybody.

He'll pull it back around. Yep. So, did that, loved it. And then from there, that's when I met Larry. And that's my first- Where'd he see you? Caroline's. Oh yeah? Was it an audition?

No, I actually wasn't even set up to be on the auditions of the Nightly Show. Yeah. Yeah. And he just saw you? He came in, yeah, on his own to, I think it was Comics to Watch I was on. And then I started featuring.

And then once I started featuring that was yeah and then first person I ever featured for was Michael Che oh yeah and it was his like first year at SNL

and like his first like sold out weekend he take you out on the road not out on the road no oh yeah like at Caroline's or something

yeah I featured for him at Caroline's then ended up at the Cellar and once I was at the Cellar it was once I was on the Nightly Show and at the Cellar I was just on fire right so how many how was, once I was on the Nightly Show and at the Cellar,

I was just on fire. Right, so how many episodes, how many years did the Nightly Show last? I don't even know. Like two? So you did a lot? Yeah, yeah. And was it raising your profile?

Did people know you from the show? It had a very niche market, but like San Francisco, great for me uh denver great for me like there's just certain pockets and then other pockets that was great yeah denver's my favorite place to possibly do comedy outside of new york yeah it's like cheating yeah the comedy works downtown that's my favorite place in the world yeah why not you you of course it is you like leave like you know i'm a genius yeah then you go to atlanta like how come like, how come that joke didn't work as well? Why am I in a diner? Yeah, that room is incredible.

But did somebody eventually take you out on the road with them? Well, me and Pete Davidson are very close friends. When did you get friendly with that guy? He was 16, I was 20. Where'd you meet him? Doing prom shows for Al Martin. He was 16? Yeah. Oh, interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's you met him uh doing prom shows for al martin he was 16 yeah oh oh interesting yeah yeah yeah yeah so that's you met him doing that that's fucking yeah that's the worst right all right this show's gonna be at three in the morning you're gonna get 20 dollars maybe yeah and you

know then just the limos show up drunk fucking high school kids getting out yeah and they're all sit at the fucking worst so pete was like the first one touring like hard off of like Guy Code and then SNL. Uh-huh. And that- He took you out with him? Yeah, we ran out together. It was great. Well, at that point, weren't you like stronger than him as a standup?

For a while, it was just me and him going up to the Poconos doing Bob Levy's rooms. Oh, okay. So it wasn't like, you know, Poconos doing Bob Levy's rooms. Oh, okay. So it wasn't like, you know, he wasn't doing theaters or anything. No, no, no. That's not until I'm on the nightly show and he's on the SNL. Right. And, uh, he was a few years in and it was the end of the nightly show. We did like a bus tour.

Oh, so you, so you guys are basically doing the same time out there? No, he's headlining. Oh yeah. Okay. How was that day? How was a young Pete, he's headlining. Oh, yeah? Yeah. How was it? How was it young Pete Davidson as a headliner? Great. Yeah? Yeah.

Did he just riff? No. No. His first special's strong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Comedy Central one? Yeah, yeah. It's strong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we were just good friends, too. And he's another New York guy. He got it. Yeah, I know. He got it from the beginning. You guys speak the same language. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. No, he's a great guy. We had a very interesting conversation. In your conversation, you ask him who his friends are and he says Ricky Vlez and you go, I don't know him.

Yeah. I was like, all right, cool. I got to get there one day. That's been spinning in my head for five years. Oh, God. I'm glad you got closure on that.

Well, I mean, like I said at the beginning, it's like it's hard for me to know, but like when I watch you, I'm like, oh, well, shit, you know, this guy's been out. I don't know why I don't know him, but now I know him. And then I remember from the movie, I saw the movie. I can't remember if I saw King of Staten Island in an,

like if Judd made me watch a one. A screener? A screener that wasn't quite done, so it was like nine hours long. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I might have seen a nine-hour-long one. Judd's the best person that has been introduced into my life. He's a funny guy, too, and a decent man.

Yes. Good family man, too. Yeah, yeah. No, he's a great guy. And I actually, when he started doing stand-up again, I was sort of one of the guys like, really? Is he really, he's going to come back and just start taking stage time?

The billionaire who hasn't done stand-up in 30 years? But like, you know, he's such a great writer and he did it like the real way. He didn't take any liberties. He just got on the schedule, did his fucking work. And he loves it. He's like a kid when he's doing it. Oh no, I'll forever love the schedule, did his fucking work. And he loves it. He's like a kid when he's doing it. Oh, no.

I'll forever love him for that Bill Cosby joke. Camille, do you like your life? That was the crown jewel. That's the one that got you over. Yeah. But so you and Pete, you do the movie with Pete. And how's Pete doing? He's good.

Good. Yeah. Life's cool. Because I felt like, you know, after our conversation was heavy, he was dealing with the thing, with the borderline stuff. Yeah. And then, like, there was a little pushback. You know, it seemed like, you know, he was like, fuck it. fuck it yeah for a while and then there was some concern and then he leveled

off he's just yeah he's cool man good he's uh he's he's he's the man he's just such a good friend yeah he's actually the godfather of my kid oh really my kid was born on 9-11 really yeah huh am i but uh we should jump back real quick so yeah? Yeah, naturally. He was due the 13th, he came out the 11th. Pete called it the minute he found out the due date and he was like, if that kid's 9-11, he's my godson. I was like, fine, you get that kid. Oh. So.

Yeah, when did you get married? I got married two, three years ago? Yeah, two, three, you might wanna Three, three, three, three. Nail that date in the future. We have a few dates. I keep marrying my wife. You keep marrying her?

Yes. Well, you're not sure that it's happened? Do you have a dyslexia emotionally? No, I just, it's so fun. We love each other and our friends love it too. You just get married every few years? Yeah, actually, we're going to be together for 10 years this year. We're going out to Vegas and redoing it again.

And our friend that introduced us has married us every time. So when did she come into your life? At what point? 10 years ago, so I'm 23. we're going out to Vegas and redoing it again. And our friend that introduced us has married us every time. So when did she come into your life, at what point? 10 years ago, so I'm 23. No, you're 22. No, I'm 22. 22, 23, yeah. So right at the beginning of everything. Yeah.

How'd you meet her? Through my buddy. Yeah? Yeah. Has she always been on board with the comedy? Yeah, but you know, at the same time, you have to like get somebody used to this schedule and life and disappointment of not being able to do anything

on a Friday, Saturday. How about the insecurity and the self-abuse and the doubt and the anger? Yeah, all that. The long showers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long you shower? Depends what I'm doing in there.

Depends if I wanted to cry that morning. Yeah, exactly. Oh, you do that, huh? Yeah. It's just rough. Yeah, I actually don't battle with that too much. I'm more of a like, do I jerk off in the shower or do I not? Not cry.

Oh, no, that's not it at all. No, for you it's... Yeah, it's like a lot of thinking. Oh, no, no's not it at all. No, for you, it's... Yeah, it's like a lot of thinking. Oh, no, no. Wow, so you're a real spinner, man. Yeah. So did you not figure out that you had this horrendous depressive anxiety problem?

It all piled on after mom died in 2016, yeah. And she died on Valentine's Day. Yeah. All my dates are really crazy. Yeah. Huh. So what did you do about it? When you realized that you-

Well, I went really dark right after that. I went really dark. I was walking around with a bag of Xanax that I was getting from a guy. Like I was- From a doctor or from a guy? From a guy. Oh yeah.

Yeah. And just eating the Xanax? Me and Pete, when we did that bus tour, that was probably the worst I ever was. And I'm very grateful to be here today. Really? Yeah, based on my behavior and what I was taking and the rest of that.

Did you end up in the hospital? No, but I could have. Yeah, and what was Pete doing? Was he concerned? Yeah, yeah, everybody was concerned. I mean, even my wife had even turned to my agents at that time and was like, what the fuck are we doing? Why are we letting him do this?

Yeah, I was back on TV within two weeks of my mom dying out of nowhere. So do you feel like you processed a grief though? Now I have. Now I have, but it took years. It took years. It took, yeah, it took years. Did it take help?

Yes. Huh. So what did you have to do to sort of get straight with all that shit? Did you go to, like after the bus tour, did you like get off the pills and figure out I gotta go see a doc or what? I was going to, like the nightly show had just ended,

all this stuff, so like money had stopped. So like my idea was like I was gonna go to rehab and then I was just like, oh well well i don't like have income so why i don't have income 60 000 yeah when i can spend it on pills so yeah and i was just uh and then um me and my wife's living situation was really tough at that time because we were we were subletting in a co-op and like where uh 28th and Park. Yeah. And they kept fining me.

For what? Smoky weed. And the fines were incredibly insane. It's the fucking worst to be in a building. I remember being down on 16th and 3rd and just my neighbor would come knock on the door. It's like, we can smell it and I have children. I'm like, yeah, it's going to creep under the door and kill your your kid out of here oh they were lunatics yeah so we just uh you know my wife basically was like this is either and she was not my wife at this point so she was like what are you need to figure something out and i weaned myself off the pills yeah which was now in retrospect very dangerous and I shouldn't have done that. The Xanax? Yeah. Yeah.

And I just went to smoking weed and then I went dry for a while and then I just went back to weed and I've always been there and I kept it from shrooms and weed my whole for now on. So you never really got diagnosed or treated for anxiety or depression? Now I have. Oh, you have.

Now I have, yes. And is it better um yes yeah it's good knowing that i'm not just like believing it and it's like having a doctor say it actually loosens the anxiety well did you uh did you track it i mean like do you feel like you know some of it's biological and some of it's just from the chaos of unpredictable parenting and all that shit yeah they tried to tell me i have complex ptsd yeah right yeah you don't like that one that one feels a lot to me because a lot of my friends like went to iraq right oh i get you yeah yeah i think there's a broad spectrum ptsd thing uh but i think you know oddly yeah i wonder it's a good question because I'm starting to think that most problems are trauma-related with people.

You know, and I think that because I had this realization not long ago, and I talked about it on the show, that, like, if you're uncomfortable and you're a kid, almost all your memories are shitty. Like, you're never going to look back and go, like, that was a great time because you never feel good. You never feel correct. So even playing sports, I remember like my older brother, as good as he was about it, like it's still not a good memory because a lot of it was just being like yelled at. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Exactly.

A bruise will go away and never won't. Wow. Yeah. But yeah, man. So like, I mean, I get the Iraqq thing but the truth is when you're a kid and shit is going down like that it's got to fuck your brain up pretty good i mean you're not an adult and you know watching people get blown up you know sure but i mean there is i think a spectrum to to ptsd yeah i think is what made me aggressive like my father's aggressiveness definitely came

into me yeah yeah just wanting to have some sort of control and also like no one will ever disrespect me like like i used i used to have that really really bad now i like laugh shit off but like yeah i i used to love to i'd not love to scrap but i'd be ready for it really yeah did you think you did you deserved respect yeah absolutely you don't speak to me like you don't now you're scaring me no i'm not but that's like that's that's that's how i grew up it's just like yeah that's like but that's sort of like macho shit right yeah yeah a lot of it was my dad rode harleys my dad tough guy hung out at cbgbs you still kick it with the ramones like yeah yeah tough guy he was that guy he was the queens guy dude tough guy yeah the weird the puerto rican do with the Ramones. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tough guy. He was that guy. He was the Queens guy.

Dude, tough guy. Yeah. The Puerto Rican dude with the Harley. The Puerto Rican hanging out with- The punk rock guys. Yeah. Well, that's cool on some level. Yeah. It is, I guess.

So when, but now, like with a diagnosis like that, you know, what do you do about it? Are you just, do you do about it do you are you just do you still have the anxiety do you still you know you know get uh fucking emotional in the shower i'm an emotional person and i'm okay with that now okay so it's self-acceptance that's kind of yeah has very much helped me out i'm very emotional i'm totally fine with that yeah but that took a while yeah for a long time i just thought i was a giant pussy right yeah yeah so you're beating the shit out of yourself so the the little father inside i think having a kid that has really helped all of this yeah i would imagine yeah but isn't that weird how we like even though you don't have your father relationship with your father and you have the feelings you do that you you internalize

them they're in you and they're always speaking to you. And say, you know, that's the one, that's, you like, you get rid of them. You say, fuck you. But then he's in there going like, you suck, you pussy. You know, right? And then you gotta shut- Fucking loser getting a vaccine.

You gotta fucking, gotta shut that guy up. The dad inside, you gotta kick his ass. Yeah. So, the kid changed everything. Yeah.

You wanted the kid. Everything. That was a decided kid. Absolutely. Me and my wife weren't even married yet. Yeah. And we wanted that kid. Yeah.

We knew that that's what it is. And what he is is everything. Yeah. It's where my pride and joy is now. Yeah, that's great. I carried nothing more than like watching my kid do dope shit that I was never able to do it's like right here's a stock portfolio man that's that's the coolest shit in the world isn't it does he know

he's three man he can't even say portfolio like it's don't try to teach him that word yet start with you know duck dog but you know but he's talking plenty he is and uh but he's like today he went swimming in new york city like it's crazy to me like that's awesome and well you talk about your wife i mean what you know it sounds like you married some sort of uh you know royalty she's the best yeah but like but different economic status absolutely yeah yeah what is uh what's uh like what's her family do uh her dad was a cfo of a company that he made public oh Oh, wow. Yeah. Now he's retired and he's the man.

He's so cool. And they're so good to me. And they're so- What's that ethnic background? Jewish. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. I have a Jewish, Puerto Rican, Irish kid.

New York, baby. That's New York. The kid is, he's great. He's so cool, man. My kid is so ill. Yeah. Yeah. It's awesome.

And you get along with the in-laws? Love them. We lived with them, man. My kid is so ill. Yeah? Yeah, it's awesome. And you get along with the in-laws? Love them. We lived with them during pandemic for a little bit. Yeah? Yeah, no, yeah,

we get along great. Look at that. You landed on your feet. You got some money. You're going to be all right. I met Judd. The Jews are taking care of you. Yeah.

I think I have to convert sooner or later. That's how you get in, right? You're in. I'm in. Yeah, you got a kid with one. You're in, but it's tentative. Don't get too cocky.

He gets to go to birthright with the last name Velez. How sick is that? Nice. Yeah. Well, wait. Was converting ever a thing that you guys discussed? No. I was a Catholic school.

I was a Sunday school teacher. Yeah. Yeah. My mom helped run the program over at Our Lady of Lourdes. Are you an active Jesus guy? No. Yeah. But I do believe in stuff.

Yeah, yeah. But at the same time, I don't get- Vague stuff? Yeah. Yeah. Like, God forbid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the kid comes out on 9-11.

Kid comes out on 9-11. It was nuts. Is that good or bad it was it was incredible it's gonna be it's it's there's always gonna be something bigger than his birthday that's for sure yeah well well it's also like you know like pete's mom amy i love her so much and she's like very much in our lives and like when she says things like making this a happy day and stuff like that it just brings and my kid has brought nothing but good things into our lives. So.

That's great. Yeah. And, and what are you working on something now? Is Judd put together an entire show for you? We are working on something. Yeah. And we.

Is it based in New York? No. No. No, it's not. But it's like a, like a show uh we're developing a show feature oh a movie okay okay yeah so um we just stay writing and you know i took the whole pandemic to really work that muscle that i've never used before and how do you do it how do you learn how to do it with the dyslexia well i mean i definitely learned it on set when he called me and he was like, hey, you

want to punch up this? And then he made me a co-producer on the King of Staten Island. I sat next to him daily, just writing jokes, putting them on his chair, writing jokes, putting them on his chair. Then also going through the script, learning about like, and then like I did all that, which I think a lot of comics can do. Yeah. But then during pandemic, like me, miller and judd wrote together and

i really learned how to write a story oh yeah yeah from him from them yeah did you were you part of that pandemic movie he made i got the punch up yeah oh but you're not i didn't go to london no no no no no so he's been kind of leaning on you to to go over scripts yeah make it funnier yeah i don't know leaning on me he's funnier than i am no i'm not leaning on you to go over scripts to make it funnier? Yeah. I don't know, leaning on me? He's funnier than I am. No, I'm not leaning on you, but you're a guy who's going to run things by. Yeah, we like to talk a lot about funny.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's interesting. So what do you think? Obviously, your sensibility is different than his. So what is it that you're giving him that he doesn't come up with? What's the angle? What's he looking to you for? I think I write darker.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I go dark fast. It's fun to go there first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just think that Judd understands I'm willing to do the work. Well, that's important. And I like working. Yeah.

And the movie is for you? Yeah. Oh, working. Yeah. And the movie is for you? Yeah. Oh, good. Yeah. And you've already whiteboarded it. We just write so much that it will fall together. But you've got the whole story. Yes.

And you can't talk about it yet. Come on. You know Judd. You said he's a good friend. He's probably mad at this point he's not mad he doesn't listen to the show he does he will listen to this one i promise you that yeah yeah yeah you know certainly you know that guy you know uh unlike many guys is you know a very giving dude and if you're one of the chosen who he sees something in and decides to carry

along for the ride uh you know he's he's made a lot of big stars out of people in both, you know, behind the camera and in front of the camera. So there's definitely, you know, wisdom there and something to be learned, and it's a real gift that he's giving you. So that's great. Yeah, and just like as a man and how he treats his family and the rest of that is just like how I want to be with my kid. Great.

Yeah. And so this award goes to Judd Apatow for Lifetime. It's good talking to you, man. I'm very thankful to be here. Thank you. Okay, that was me and Ricky. New York, baby. The new special, Here's Everything,

is now streaming on HBO Max. Now I'll play some dirty guitar. Not through my Fender Champ, which seems to have fried itself. Okay. I'll fix it. I'll fix it. I'll fix it.音楽BGM Boomer lives. Monkey.

Lafonda. Fucking cat angels everywhere. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly

regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. It's a night for the whole family. Be a part of Kids Night when the Toronto Rock take on the Colorado Mammoth at a special 5 p.m. start time on Saturday, March 9th at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton. The first 5,000 fans in attendance will get a Dan Dawson bobblehead

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