WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 1297 - Nicole Byer

Episode Date: January 17, 2022

Nicole Byer hosts the hit shows Nailed It! and Wipeout, is working on her new standup hour, hosts four different podcasts and is starring in the new primetime NBC series Grand Crew. But she still had time to join Marc in the garage so they can try to figure out why they both have such a hard time with physical affection. They also talk about Nicole's days as an endearingly bad waitress, how she coped with losing both of her parents at a young age, and what few things she actually knows how to bake.  Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis store and ACAS Creative.

Lock the gates! All right, let's do this. How are you, what the fuckers? What the fuck, buddies? What the fuck, tuplets? What the fuck, Knicks? How's it going? I'm Mark Maron. This is my podcast. How are you? Have you gotten over your Omicron yet?

Have you gotten over your COVID yet? Have you got the COVID? How are things out there? Are you freaking out? Are we freaking out? Is anything getting better? I don't know. I don't know. My guest today is Nicole Byer. People love Nicole Byer. Everybody seems to love Nicole Byer. She's the host of Nailed It on Netflix, her stand-up special. I believe it's on Netflix as well. She's got four different podcasts going, or Wipeout, which is a game show she hosts as well. Lots of other things, because she's everywhere. She's all places, Nicole Byer. She's on this new NBC series, Grand Crew. And she'll also be hosting the Critics' Choice Awards with Taye Diggs.

And I talked to her today. I talked to her. So when I spoke to you on, what is it, last week, last Thursdayursday i told you that i was planning on going to bob saget's funeral going to the cemetery i don't do that and i've had a realization as of late uh it's not it's not policy but i haven't found myself at funerals and i've lost a lot of people that i know that are close to me and either they're, you know, it would be a travel situation or I'm on the road or whatever. I just felt the need, a deep need to go to Bob Saget's funeral because Bob Saget was a great guy. We weren't best friends, but the times that we did talk and the times we did hang out, just a, just a loving person. And I'm going to miss him. And I

think when I think about him, it makes me sad and I miss him. I wanted to go for closure. I wanted to go to the funeral and I went and it was a lovely service. Rabbi was funny, killed, had a great joke right out of the gate. I think the joke was someone somewhere along the lines of, he said, like, I'm sure if Bob were here, he'd be wondering the same thing we're all wondering. Why? Why? Why couldn't it have been Stamos? Very funny.

Opened with it. Strong. But it wasn't, obviously, it wasn't a comedy show. And it was a bit, it was heavy. It was sad. And the cantor sang the songs that cantors sing in the Hebrew. You got to wear the yarmulkes. And his daughter spoke,

and it was just devastating. And some of his friends spoke at the funeral, and his wife spoke, and just to feel all that grief, the weight of it, and then to kind of sit in that space. And that cemetery is very close to me. I drive by it all the time. And then it was interesting because I still find, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. Do you know what I mean?

This funeral was so pleasant and so clearly this guy lived the life he wanted to live and loved and had people that loved him. I can't even imagine what my funeral will be. It's going to be a lot of people saying like, most people didn't really know Mark the way I knew him. I can't even imagine what my friend will be. It's going to be a lot of people saying, like, most people didn't really know Mark the way I knew him. But he was a good guy. He could be difficult. You know, nine people in the room. They had the cars all parked in lines so everyone could kind of leave the parking lot in a procession. Right?

To go to the burial site. And I was about three lines in. You know, they were lined up. And there were people cutting. There were people, you know, pulling out of their line to go on the procession, you know, before their turn. And I immediately was like, you know, what the fuck is that guy doing?

What the fuck? Like, what's the hurry? But I still had that impulse. Like, these people are cheating. You know, they're going to get what? What are they going to get? They're not going to put them in the ground without everybody there.

I just have to, I have to check myself, man. But it was heavy, man. It was obviously heavy. But it was, like I said, the service was beautiful. People were there for it. And I watched them put him in the ground. And I drive by that exit. I see that cemetery from my hike three days a week.

And I was driving back from the comedy store. I actually went and did comedy the night of the funeral and it was not good. Too raw. Couldn't speak from the right place. And I drive past it almost daily, that cemetery, and I just couldn't wrap my brain around the idea as I was driving home like on Friday night that a week ago Friday Saget was home in his house living his life and I just saw them put him in the ground right over there he was in his house in his bed now he's in the ground right over there. I can't get that out of my head. And I'm going to miss knowing he's alive in the world. I really am. Something happened the other night. What day is today? Monday? Saturday night, I had a spot at the comedy store, 915. And Jeff Ross texted me that he and John Mayer and Chappelle were going to take over the belly room, which is the small room upstairs.

It seats about 80 maybe in the comedy store for, you know, just to blow off some steam for Saget's family and friends. So it was this little kind of private show upstairs. He said, look, I'm going to tell John Mayer. John's going to bring another guitar if you want to hang out. And there's still part of me that's sort of like, nah, this is a setup. But Jeffrey Ross has been very nice to me, and he seems to look out for me, and he wants to make sure I'm part of things. But I get to the comedy store

and yeah, I'm waiting around to do my spot. They're running a little late and people are starting to come for that show. I see Jeff and I talked to him for a while and then a lot of other people that, you know, I saw them at the funeral as well, but you know, his family's coming, you know, his daughter show up who I've never met

and Jeff introduced me to his daughters. And one of his daughters said, my father liked you a lot. And I just like, you know, got choked up. And I'm like, I guess I got to go play guitar. Now, I did bring two picks with me. Because like all I could think of is like, there's I'm not it's not going to be something I'm not going to have to get on stage and you know go toe-to-toe with John Mayer it just might be fun to play a little guitar with John Mayer even for a few minutes because he's so fucking good

but just in case I threw the picks in my pocket I don't know I went up there and I was just watching from the back of the room after I did my set and Chappelle looks in the back of the room, he's talking and Jeff's on stage talking and John Mayer is just sitting there with a guitar. They're talking about Bob Saget. They're getting laughs here and there. And Chappelle's like, is that Mark Maron? I'm like, yes, yes. He's like, oh, an OG. What's up, man? He says, I'm sorry. I didn't get to see you at the funeral. We didn't get to talk. I know you had some loss in your life as well. I'm sorry.

I'm glad you're here. Yeah, and this is like in front of everybody. Thank you, man. I appreciate that. And then Ross is like, come up here. We got another guitar. John Mayer is like, I brought a guitar. And I'm like, I don't know.

You know, come on, man. I'm not, you know, no, no, no. And I'm like, I got two picks in my pocket. And the audience is like, yay know come on man i'm not you know no no no and i'm like i got two picks in my pocket and the audience is like yay come on i'm like all right and i get up there and put a guitar on sat there me next to mayor next to ross in between uh ross was in between me and mayor me and john were trading licks doing a little blues and everything you know i did all right held my own. It wasn't like a music show.

It was just sort of like Dave was talking, Jeff was talking. I'd chime in, John Mayer would chime in. But the truth is, despite what anyone thinks about anybody at this point in time, this was a night for Bob's friends and family. These were comics getting together to blow off a little steam after an incredibly difficult week for friends and family, a bobsag. And it got racy and it got interesting and it got fun and it got real. And there was a lot of smoke. I hadn't been around that much smoke, whether it's a Chappelle's

cigarettes or weed or whatever was going on. I left, I left, I only hung out about an hour and I realized like, oh hung out about an hour. And I realized like, oh, this is what happens. You know, this is like, I know these guys sometimes stay on stage for hours. And I'm like, they just get fucked up. And they keep going and going. Because they don't want to, you know, they don't want to be alone. Or they don't want to stop. But I got out after about an hour.

It was hard. I had to extricate myself. And there were people going, no. And I'm like, I got to hard. I had to extricate myself. And there were people going, no, I gotta go, I gotta go. And I felt the smoke in my head. In my head, I felt it. But again, I was happy to do it. I was happy to be part of the community

and be part of the show. And it was very sweet of Bob's daughter to say that. And it was good to see everybody. So as I mentioned earlier, Nicole Byer is here. And the new series she's on is called Grand Crew. It's on NBC, but you can see her on all her other stuff or listen to her on all her other stuff. She does a lot of stuff. Grand Crew is on NBC.

New episodes on Tuesday nights. This is me talking to the very funny, very charming, kind of exciting Nicole Barber. Be honest. When was the last time you thought about your current business insurance policy? If your existing business insurance policy is renewing on autopilot each year without checking out Zensurance, you're probably spending more than you need. That's why you need to switch to low-cost coverage from Zensurance before your policy renews this year. Zensurance does all the heavy lifting to find a policy,

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T's and C's apply. Fire. I'm not a baker. Neither am I. You're not? No. You ever try? I have tried.

I can make ooey gooey butter cake. It's a Paula Deen recipe. I know she's bad. She said the N word a couple times on record. Hey, if you're okay with it, I'll be okay with it just for this conversation. It's tasty. You can't taste the racism. It's just sweet. I can make that.

I can make mac and cheese. Mac and cheese. Baked? Uh-huh. I've baked some mac and cheese in my day. Where you, like, in a roasting pan, the whole layer of it. Yeah. Yeah. You make, like, the roux. Oh, yeah, yeah, the whole layer of it? Yeah. Yeah.

You make like the roux. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. And then you pour it over the noodles. My mom used to make it and I'm on a quest to try to make it the way my mother used to. Right. Did you get it? My sister has said good try. Yeah. So I think it's not quite. Not quite.

But almost. Is there onion in it? My mom put onion in it. Yeah, right. Yes. That's part of that. It's like that joy of cooking recipe. Yeah. Kind of?

Yeah, I guess. I don't know the joy of cooking recipe. Oh, it's like that classic one. Like there was a period there I was just trying to bake, or just not bake, because I cook a lot. So I was just asking questions. It's not because you host a show where people make fucked up cakes. I can cook Irish soda bread.

And a pie. I can do a pie. Okay. I'm just trying to get on your show. What do I got to do to make a fool out of myself? You have to be able to not bake. You have to be bad at it. No, but I can't do it improvisationally.

I got to have a recipe. You mean people just get on there and they don't even know how much flour to put in? The first couple seasons, it was people who truly couldn't read directions, had no artistic eye. Because it's like, you got to make a cake, but then you got to make it into a shark or something like that. So this is one of those, because I get the idea of the show. You're basically like, people are signing up. They're like, I'm okay looking stupid. Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

And it's like, I get it. I'm in on the joke. This is fun. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, ooey gooey butter cake. That's good. I can make cookies.

That's pretty easy. Yeah, I can't. I don't want to have them around. Oh. I don't want cookies in my house. Oh. I got chocolate in my house. I can't have ice cream in my house.

Oh. Yeah. Why? Because then it's just an ongoing battle. Like, I, you know, look, I'm crazy. I have a, you know, I grew up with an anorexic mother. Ah, okay. So my ideas about eating and food are not great.

Okay. So it's an ongoing, like last night, for instance. Mm-hmm. I was sad. My buddy Bob Saget passed away yesterday. Mm-hmm. So it's an ongoing, like last night, for instance, I was sad. My buddy Bob Saget passed away yesterday. And I thought like, well, maybe I should go get a pint of ice cream and just plow through it. Yeah.

But I made a different choice. I'm like, you know what? There's a Baskin and Robbins down the street. I'll just go get a cone. Oh, see, okay. I like that. I thought you were depriving yourself of yummy treats no no when i it's just when i have them in the house i'll eat all of them yeah and fast i i'm the same way yeah so what happens is if i got ice cream in the freezer i'm just sort of like i'm gonna have to get rid

of that by eating it now yeah yeah people were sending me pints and pints oh yeah places oh they were like this guy will put it on instagram from where jenny's were sending me pints and pints. Oh. Yeah. Places. Oh. They were like, this guy will put it on Instagram. From where? Jenny's was sending me. Okay. For a while. And then there's this place in- I have a problem with Jenny's.

Really? Yes. I have a problem too, but it'd be different than yours. Okay. I wonder what your problem is. So I went in, I asked for a half scoop because I have portion control issues. And the lady behind the counter said, we can't do that. And I said, why? I just want like half of a kid's scoop behind the counter said, we can't do that. And I said, why?

I just want like half of a kid's scoop. And she said, we don't do that. I have to charge you for a full scoop. And I said, that's okay. I just want half of it. And I don't want to throw it away. Because I won't throw it away. I'll just eat it.

And she said, we can't do that. And I was so angry. I was like, I'll get nothing. So I have a, not a vendetta against Jenny's, but if someone's like, let's go to Jenny's, I'll be like, no, thank you. So you, even in paying full price, it wouldn't give you the half? No.

She insisted on giving me the full scoop, even though I didn't want it. Huh. So that's my problem with Jenny's. Well, that's more of a consumer problem. Like a problem with their policy. Yes. This place that I was getting ice cream from in St. Louis, like they're sending it to me from St. Louis, this place Clementine's.

There's a few of them in the St. Louis area. Okay. It's artisanal ice cream. Now, in order to call something artisanal, it has to have a certain amount of milk fat in it. So like 18% or something crazy, right? Like most ice cream you buy at the store, it's like 16%. So you eat this stuff and it means it has to be made by hand and have that high milk

fat in it. So it's like real fucking ice cream. And the woman who owned that place told me, with these other places, they don't have it. Haagen-Dazs, nope. Jenny's, nope. Used to, no more. Why? Once they went corporate, because you have to do it by hand.

Oh, yes. And that's time consuming yeah but you can cut corners with milk fat if you learn the trick why not save money and that's what they care about

interesting so it's not even it's not even top notch there's this place in Brooklyn called The Social so they used to own Ample Hills Creamery and then

I don't know something happened they left that and they started a new one called The Social and maybe there's this artisanal. I feel like there is this handmade. Probably, yeah.

And it's very, very rich. It's so good. Right? They have one called Ooey Gooey Butter Cake. That's what I'm always coming back to. It's my favorite. A lot of them do that now, the butter cake one. It's so good.

So I watched some of the stand-up. I mean, I don't know you. I mean, I didn't know you as a stand-up because I'm old, though. I'm old now. It's okay. I don't know any of the kids anymore. Oh, thank you for calling me a kid. She's so young.

But where'd you come from? Where'd I come from? Middletown, New Jersey. Well, I started doing improv in New York at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and then moved out here. So I was doing, like, sketch and improv. But you grew up in Jersey? Uh-huh. Wow, I'm from Jersey.

What part of Jersey are you from? Well, I'm genetically Jersey, as I like to say. Both my parents from Jersey. I was born in Jersey. I lived in Jersey until I was like six. Okay. Pompton Lakes is where my mother's from. That's Morris County, I think.

Maybe Bergen County. That's north. Yeah, yeah. North Jersey. Yeah. And my dad from Jersey City. Oh, okay. So That's north. Yeah. Yeah. North Jersey. Yeah. And my dad from Jersey City. Oh, okay. So you're north Jersey.

I'm from central Jersey. Yeah. But you probably, people in north Jersey are like, that's south Jersey. People in south Jersey are like, that's north. But we're like, we're central. We exist. Yeah. But it's not by Patterson, no?

I don't think so. It's funny. People from Jersey have no idea where other places in Jersey are. You must know where some parts of Jersey are. I know where Princeton is. Oh, so it's near there? No. Oh.

It's by, so it's by like Red Bank. Yeah, yeah. Little Silver. Red Bank where the Count Basie Theater is? Yes. Yes. And that's a dream of mine. I want to play at the Count Basie Theater.

Really? Because you grew up by it? Yeah. I played it. Is it fun? Yeah. I think I'm going back to it. I think they're calling it something else now. I played it. Is it fun? Yeah. I think I'm going back to it. I think they're calling it

something else now. Oh, no. That makes me very, very sad. Like the Red Bank something center, maybe. No, boo! Yeah, where's Count Basie? How do we lose Count Basie?

Who is Count Basie? You know who Count Basie is. I sure don't. Oh, see? I'm young. You have to remember. Count Basie was a piano player and band leader

that I believe started with Duke Ellington. Oh, okay. So there was the Count Basie Orchestra. Oh. Kind of swing and stuff. Pre-bebop kind of thing. Okay. Yeah.

Big jazz orchestra. There you go. Maybe I'll listen to some of them. You got to listen to Count Basie. We can do it right now. Okay. You can do it later. So, but like growing up, like how many brothers and sisters?

Are you a big family? Just one sister. One older sister who's very tiny, so she looks younger than me. How's she doing? She's good. She's a teacher and she's really sweet. Teacher. Yeah.

That's a good job. It is a nice job. I could never. How old are the kids? They're young. I think they're like six, maybe six, seven, eight. Oh, so real kids. Yeah.

So they're not horrible yet. They're not horrible, but... They're horrible like kids. Yeah. Not horrible like bad kids. Yeah, they're not terrible. But she'll tell me stories and I'm like, kids are just, they're unreasonable. You can't reason with them.

They say something wild and then you're like, well, that might not be true. And they're like, but it is. I said it. It's true. Yeah, I couldn't do it. She's sweet. I don't have any. I can't spend too much time with them.

I don't love them. They're sticky and stuff. I just can't imagine having one in my house where you wake up and they're staring at you. Yeah, I'm ready. Ready for my day. Or like at night, they're like, there's a man in my closet. And you're like, oh, no, I don day. Excuse me. Or like at night, they're like, there's a man in my closet. And you're like, oh, no. I don't want to deal with a haunting.

Go to sleep. Yeah. I don't want it. I found early on, I think, that I am too selfish, too panicky, and too angry. Yeah? To have them. I think a lot of people who do have them are like that no

and they maybe should not have had children I say that on stage now I'm like you don't have to yeah I mean you can make choices you're not a dog yes

you can make grown up choices not to have them you do anything you want I don't think I want them although if I turn 50 and I'm still a single woman

I'll probably adopt like an older kid and be like you're my friend. Right. Yeah. 15 year old. That'd be a little weird. Maybe like 13. Yeah. 15 is too old. I don't want to be your mother, but I just want someone to be around. Yeah. You call me Nicole. We travel. We have a good time. Maybe go to school a little bit.

People will look at you weird. You think? Yeah. They might judge you a little bit. If I adopt an older kid, that's my new friend. If you buy an older kid. Well, I figure older kids don't get adopted often. So, like, wouldn't it be nice if I got one? Sure, sure. Come on, friend. Let's go to France. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. I guess there's probably a reason why older kids don't get adopted. It's a sad reason, but they're kind of set in their ways already. Yeah. But are you set in your ways if a nice lady with money wants to take you around the world? I think you've kind of been doing. You go, this is fun for me. Why don't you just find like a 20-year-old?

I guess, yeah. I get like a 21-year-old. I'm like, you're of legal age. Let's hang out and be friends. See what happens. Adopt a 21-year-old. So what world did you grow up in? I don't know what Middletown.

Middletown? Yeah, Middletown. Lincroft in Middletown. What did you like folks do? I don't know what Middletown. Middletown? Yeah, Middletown. Linkroft in Middletown. What did you like folks do? What was the story over there? What was it? I mean, in high school, I smoked a lot of weed. A lot of weed?

And then went to Chili's and would say it was one of our birthdays and would giggle and get a free dessert. That was your childhood. Smoked weed, went to Chili's. Yeah. Yeah. High school. Lied about your birthday. Yeah, it was a lot of it. Yeah. Yeah, I smoked a lot of weed in high school lied about your birthday yeah it was a lot of it yeah yeah i

smoked a lot of weed in high school uh i did a english class a lot high and my teacher would be like do you want to read this part of the book and i'd laugh and i'd be like no i can't i can't do that i had the same thing and i had to go to the nurse because i was so embarrassed because i i was it wasn't English. It was like some other social studies or something. And she asked me to read. And I literally couldn't handle it. But I felt so embarrassed.

I said, I got to go to the nurse. I'm too high. I would just giggle and be like, I'm sorry. I can't do it. But you had friends, right? You were probably having fun. Yeah. No one knew I was high.

Oh, you were just doing it by yourself? Well, no, I was out with other people at lunch or whatever, but they weren't there. Then you go to the club. I wasn't part of a crew. I was just a lone stone dude. A lone stone in social studies being like, I'm not sure. Yeah, I couldn't do it. It's the worst feeling.

It is a weird feeling to be alone in a school setting where you're like, sorry, I can't function up too high for this. I can't read. I couldn't tell her I was too high. I remember the teacher, Mrs. Wall. Mine was, I think Mrs. DeMarco. Did you do anything in high school? My mother was like, you talk a a lot so why don't you do the play and i was like okay and that's how i got into acting and performing what how old were you

then i think i was 15 what'd your mom do 15 my mom was a stand-home mom but she also like was a lunch aid at my school because she was like obsessed with me couldn't get away from me and she was like let me come to school with you really yeah she was she with me, couldn't get away from me. She was like, let me come to school with you. Really? Yeah. So she treated you like you want to treat your adopted kid? Uh-huh. Yeah, she was like, I got to go everywhere with this little kid. Really? Uh-huh, yeah.

What does a lunch aid do? During lunch, you watch over the kids. Just hang out? Wow, that's interesting. I don't remember. Is everything okay at this table? Yeah. Do you need napkins, plates, forks, knives? What do you out? Wow, that's interesting. How's the food? I like don't remember. Is everything okay at this table? Yeah, I think. Do you need napkins, plates, forks, knives,

what do you need? Yeah, yeah. I think it was just like volunteer parents to just like watch kids while teachers, I guess, got a break. That's nice. So she was just hanging around school? Mm-hmm.

And people were like, what's your mom doing here? Yeah, she's just hanging out, leave me alone. What'd your dad do? My dad was, he worked at at&t oh as like a an engineer i think that's what it is he like wrote programs and stuff computer guy yeah wow like very smart and really wanted me to be smart too and like i do think i'm like kind of smart but like academics oh boy it's hard you want me to sit and read and do problems no i couldn't do it not a math guy i'm not math i can't do the math yeah it's too hard You want me to sit and read and do problems? No. I couldn't do it. I'm not a math guy. I'm not a math. I can't do the math.

Yeah, it's too hard. Science, that's also too hard. I guess some people got a knack for it. I don't know what it is. Science, no. I got an F or an E. The teacher was trying to not fail me, so he gave me an E in chemistry. That's kind.

It was kind, but I just couldn't, because chemistry is like math. I couldn't do it. Yeah. I don't know what my brain is broken like that. And algebra, I couldn't figure out algebra. Algebra is so hard. I just do algebra, algebra. Then they put me in basic math because they were like, friend.

Really? You're not good at this. You're really bad. I feel bad about it. And there's some part of me that thinks like, well, I'm an adult now. I think it's time to tackle math. No. Here's the only thing you need in math as an adult who's not in the field of math or whatever quantum physics is to figure out the tip.

You move the decimal point one place and then double it. And that's 20 percent. Right. That's the only thing you need to know. Right. Right. That's it. Yep.

Some recipes, though. Oh. Maybe some fractions. Maybe how many tablespoons is in a quarter cup kind of deal. Make those kind of transitions. Well, you have a quarter cup. You have, like, the cup. I know, but, like, what if something calls for, like, six tablespoons?

It can be, like, I can just use a quarter cup and two tablespoons because I know how many tablespoons. Oh, see, that would be nice. Not I. Yeah. I'll do six teaspoons or tablespoons or whatever. Yeah, I can make those kind of fraction decisions. Oh, see, that's nice. Not I. I'll do six teaspoons or tablespoons or whatever. Yeah, I can make those kind of fraction decisions. Oh, see, that's nice. I know.

So, all right. So your mom pushes you into the drama. Uh-huh. Yeah. And what is it? What's happening? And what plays do you do? So the first play I did, there were so many people who wanted to do the plays that my

drama teacher, Miss Sutton, she did a bunch of short plays by Christopher Durang. Yeah, I remember those. Yeah. So there's The Actor's Nightmare, DMV Tyrant. Oh, I can't remember any other ones.

Yeah, I forget the one that I knew. But I guess there was like 10 of them. So there was just a bunch of kids in them. And I did DMV Tyrant, which is just like a frustrating lady at the DMV. Character piece.

A very character piece. And people laughed and really loved it. And I was like, ooh, baby, this is what I got to do for the rest of my life. What a treat. That was it? Mm-hmm. Getting the laughs. Yeah.

It's addicting. It's like what I think maybe shooting heroin is like, where you're just chasing that high. Sure. But I think when you shoot heroin, your responsibilities end there. Oh, sure. Yeah. Once you do the shot, you're good. With the laugh, you got to keep working.

You got to keep working. Yeah, you got to do a whole hour of ha-ha's. Just to get that fix. Uh-huh. Yeah, it is a lot of work. It is. So you just were doing mostly theater in high school yeah just theater in high school we had a spring play and a fall play so i would do that um and then i was also doing track and field at that time i was doing the fat girl sport which is shot put that's where i put all the little fat he's like oh you're probably strong right you big so I did that and then I quit well I was doing pretty good my coach

was frustrated with me he was like if you just like worked out and worked a little harder you could be really good at this and I was like but I'm an actor yeah but uh shot putting a practical skill uh-huh yeah throwing the ball around you could go to the olympics or something yeah not for you no no I don't want to go to the olympics are you kidding and throw to the ball around. You could go to the Olympics or something. Yeah, not for you? No. No, I don't want to go to the Olympics. Are you kidding? And throw the heavy ball around? No, no. Give me a stage.

Give me costumes. Yeah, you don't have to every day have to go out to the field after school, throw the heavy ball around. Yeah. Not for you. Not for me. And then- But you were able to graduate high school somehow?

Barely. Barely. Yeah. There was Ms. Ernst who worked in the office. She was like, Nicole, you've missed too many days of school. You're not going to graduate. You've missed like two too many. You ditched?

Uh-huh. I never went to school. What did you guys do? Go to Chili's? No, you'd go to the beach. During school, you'd go to the beach or smoke weed in someone's car or whatever. I didn't want to be there i haven't talked about ditching school in a while you had to sort of figure it out though

like you you definitely had a ditch schedule didn't you like i can't just want to get in this week no i really was wild with reckless abandon i was like i don't have to go anywhere and my mom died my junior year and this sounds awful but i would just be like my mom's my junior year. And this sounds awful, but I would just be like, my mom's dead. I'm sad. And people never knew what to say to me. So I'd be like, so I get to leave? Yeah. And I'd get out of things.

And then Ms. Ernst, I was like, my mom's dead. And she was like, doesn't matter. You missed school. You have to, like, there's consequences. And then I, like, burst into tears. And I was like, you can't make me come back here next year. She was like, if you shut up and just come to school for the rest of the year, will move i will remove two of these or whatever yeah so she's the reason why i graduated oh wow little sympathy well i mean you're probably telling the truth yeah i mean it's terrible

yeah it sucked when your mom passed away yeah and there was nothing there like they probably at that time at the school didn't have anything in place to help you out through that. Did they? No, but I did have a really great guidance counselor who she like let me sit in her office and just like talk to her a lot. Yeah. So like that was helpful because it was like, okay, there's an adult here who cares. Right. Yeah. But it was weird. It's weird to deal with like, I don't know, a 16 year old who's going through, who's grieving.

Yeah. I mean, because like grieving is hard anyways. Yeah. It's hard as an adult. It's hard to deal with, I don't know, a 16-year-old who's grieving. Yeah, because grieving's hard anyways. Yeah, it's hard as an adult. It's hard as a teen. And you have no control over it, and it's horrendous. And so what about your dad? Was he helpful? He was a quiet person. I mean, he wasn't unhelpful, but he was dealing with his own shit.

Yeah, I guess nobody knows what to do no so did you become a uh like a just a terror after that not a terror but i distinctly remember because like my mom she did most of the like curfew shit or punishment shit or like you can go here you can go there but my dad was like all right i gotta figure out some of these rules like what is your curfew and i was like midnight yeah and my sister was like 10 yeah and he goes okay nicole comes home at midnight and katherine comes home at 10 and i just don't think his like brain was like firing at all cylinders because i'm younger right also like if one says 10 that's probably correct right night's definitely not correct right we're in high school yeah um but it was just funny we just like my sister had a she wouldn't lie she would tell the truth yeah so she would you know be home at 10 live in the truth yeah

and i was like living in this weird world i was making up on like on the fly like yeah i'm allowed to go in the city alone yeah i'm allowed to sleep with this person yeah and he's like oh all right oh wow so he was really kind of uh like a math brain guy yeah checked out yeah and your mom was the one who was on top of everything oh my god so you must have like liberated in sadness uh-huh were you angry too probably yeah yeah yeah have you haven't dug any of that stuff up? I mean, I have. And I guess it was like, my mom was religious and a lot of religious people were like, oh, she's with God or whatever. She's in a better place. And I'm like, I don't know why anybody thinks that's like a good thing to say to anybody.

Cause it's like that. How does that comfort me? Yeah. What about the place where I was at with her? That was a nice place. How about you come back here? Yeah. So yeah, I guess guess i was angry and i truly i stopped going to church and stuff i was like this isn't for me yeah i don't like this yeah i never i i don't uh i didn't i don't find it that cover no one knows what to say you know and it's like they're trying to say things you know

like her memory will be a blessing and like a better play what any of that stuff the one that i talk about on stage though is the one where it's sort of like well you know her she's still here her energy that people don't leave their energy still here and i'm like i liked it in in the human form i don't better when it was her like weird ghost energy i don't want that shit i want this person i want something tangible exactly yeah i don't think people realize how unhelpful they are. Like when my mom died, people kept bringing over like casseroles and shit. Oh, yeah. And we're like, we're not.

Like the oven still works. But it's like it's what they want to help. Yeah. And I think it's nice for them to. That's what people do. They try to show up for you. But there's nothing anybody can do. You're going to go through it on your own no matter what you know i just got tired of crying in front of

strangers anybody would walk up like hey i heard oh god yeah yeah i think yeah i don't think you even have to say i heard yeah i think maybe you just hug somebody yeah that's right it's like oh okay but it was covet so it was even weird was just like crying on my porch and friends were coming hi. And people are like six feet away. Exactly. Hey, buddy, if you need anything, let me know. You're like, mm-hmm. Exactly.

Human touch, that's what I need. Well, actually, I'm not great with the human touch. Oh, okay. So it worked out for me. The human touch part, you know, it's just uh supportive and pleasant and nice like you know i i'm gonna help you out it's a little squirrely fair yeah yeah i don't really like being touched either yeah i don't like making out with people you don't like making out no i don't mind that i don't mind that kind of touching is nice yeah that's nice

just to sort of like i don't understand why what. Yeah, I'm trying to get better with human touch. Yeah. Like, just... My best friend, Sashir, she was like, yeah, you know... I've talked to her. She's one of my favorite people in the whole... She was on here. You do a podcast with her, right? Yeah, yeah. What did she say? She, I told her, I was like, a friend of mine told me I was

not very affectionate. She was like, yeah, you're not. And I was like, I'm not? She's like, yeah, yeah you know every time I try to hug you you run away and you like act like it's a bit she's like I don't think it's really a bit and I was like oh no I guess it's not a bit so now when we hang out I like make an effort to touch her and it's really calculated because like I'll be like oh yes touch her to say goodbye and I'll be like goodbye and like lift my hand up and she's like one day it'll be natural so i'm working on it but so it's not the impulse so you got it too no i have to like really think about it like that too i i've been like that for years like even in like in relationships romantic relationships you

know like just sort of like when people snuggle and i'm sort of like oh yeah i'm not really a snuggler either i'm trying to get better at it. But it's like it's supposed to feel good. It is supposed to feel good. So if it doesn't quite feel good, what are we getting better at? You're doing it for them and maybe you'll get used to it. I'd like to think, I don't know, why does it feel so fucking intrusive? I don't know. That's a good question.

Because to me, i'm just trying to figure out what is it what is it why why do i why does it bother me i'm trying to i i've thought about it maybe it's like i guess it's because i'm this person you're that person and why should we touch some of that yeah and also like because of my insane kind of body image, I don't like when people touch my body. It reminds me of my body. Maybe that's what it is. But I like my body. I like my body on and off. But when people touch it, I'm like, what?

What are you thinking about it? Am I too lumpy? What's going on? Did you feel a fat roll that you didn't like? Exactly, yeah. I don't know why I have these things. Lumpy? What's going on? Did you feel a fat roll that you didn't like? Exactly, yeah. That's what I think. I don't know why I have these things.

It's because of my mom. Probably. So what happened? So your mom passed away. You're 16. And did you continue doing theater and stuff? Yeah. So I told my dad. My dad wanted me to go to Rutgers.

New Brunswick. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, state school. You get, like, some money or whatever. Yeah. And I said. Not a bad school, right?

It's not bad. And they had Mason Gross, which is, like, their acting program. Yeah. And I said, no, I need to go to New York City. Yeah. It's where actors go. So no college. No.

Well, I tricked him. I went to a conservatory, a two-year conservatory that was in conjunction with the New School University. Oh, yeah. So I was like, I'll do my two years at conservatory, and then I'll go get a degree. What was that like, the conservatory? Oh, it was a bunch of bullshit. I learned more at UCB than I did paying just triple the amount I paid for UCB classes.

Was it a traditional acting thing? Kind of tradition, I guess. I don't know. We did improv, acting for TV and film, acting for commercials, and acting for the stage. It was just like a lot of old people who were just like, you're bad!

Just mean people. So it was like one of those classes where you do a scene and then everyone talks at you? Yeah. And they were people, they were new school people? So they were people. No, no, no. So it's the American Musical and Dramatica Catch Me.

I don't say the name often because I don't want them to claim me because they taught me nothing. Okay. Got it. But yeah, so like we would do these classes. You would work outside of class with your scene partner, present the scene. And then we would talk about why it was good or why it was bad. So the old people are the teachers.

Yes. Right. And it just, I don't know. It wasn't for me, not helpful. It was not. And they were like, you shouldn't audition while you're here. And it's like, but that's what we're trying. Right.

And they're like, no, you need to concentrate on your studies. So that was like weird. And then after I graduated, I like, I don't know, no, you need to concentrate on your studies. So that was like weird. Um, and then after I graduated, I like, I don't know, just like fucked around New York for a minute. And I was like,

I don't, how do you act? And I went on. So you did two years of that? Two years. Wow. And then you were commuting or you lived in the city? No,

I lived in the city. Where'd you live? Uh, in their dorms, the Stratford arms, which was on 70th and Broadway. And then moved up to, they had this like hotel that they like rented out really which was on like 92nd and and uh broadway no kitchen no no no kitchen it

was just like this weird shared kitchen that we all had that was disgusting right because it was like a bunch of 18 year olds who like didn't clean up after themselves. And then I moved up to Harlem after I graduated. I moved to like 146th and Broadway, then 125th and Broadway. Stayed on Broadway. Just loved Broadway. Uptown, uptown. Uh-huh.

And how was it? I have no sense of... Because my buddy teaches at Columbia, so he's up there. But that seems way up there. Did you like it up there? I did. I was like by Columbia. So like 125th and Broadway is like real Columbia territory. Yeah, so he's up there. But that seems way up there. Did you like it up there? I did. I was by Columbia.

So 125th and Broadway is real Columbia territory. It's nice. I liked it. But I just went back and they built all these huge fucking buildings and it just feels different. I don't feel homey. It feels nasty. I don't like it. I don't know who lives in New York anymore.

It's weird. I'm not sure what's going on there. I don't. It's different. It is, right? Yeah. But not because of COVID. It was different before COVID. Yeah. new york anymore it's weird i'm not sure what's going on there i don't it's different it is right yeah but not because of covid it was different before covid yeah it's just like you know little cute restaurants are closing and cute little shops are closed it doesn't feel like the people that work the people that work in the city can't live there anymore yeah so you're just sort of like

who and you feel like a lot of the buildings are empty or something yeah it's it's weird it's like a lot of people just like holding investments. Yeah, yeah. It's weird. It is. I lived on, I was a downtown guy. I never lived uptown. Oh yeah?

Where downtown? I lived on 2nd between A and B for a couple years way back in the 80s and I was at 16th and 3rd for a while in this old building. Yeah, those were the two primary New York residences.

Yeah. So after the acting, do you start auditionences yeah so after the acting you get do you start auditioning what happens or you get out of the acting school and you're like i don't know how to do this yeah i kind of fucked around for a while i was working at a i call it lame giant it's a plus-size store called lame bryant uh people didn't like it when I said it there. Worked there for a little bit. Quit there. Was a waitress. And then.

I was waitressing. Horrible. Oh, I was bad at it. Yeah. Like, I don't have a good memory. I have ADHD. I would go to tables and forget my little pad to write things down. And then they'd start ordering.

And I never knew how to be like, I won't remember this. And I would try sometimes. And I'd get to the computer and be like, I don't know. So I'd go back to the table and be like, okay, guys, second chance. Did you want to change anything? And they'd be like, no. And I'd be like, okay, well, you got to give it to me again because I don't know. And then I would always forget to put in like a kid's order.

So like everyone would have their food and the kid would be in a corner and he'd be sad. And I'd be like, I don't know, it's the kitchen. And I'd be like, someone make chicken fingers for me. Bad, bad waitress. Make good money, though. Yeah, how do you make good money being a bad waitress? Charisma. People were like, she's funny.

Oh, you did? We got to get her out of here. Give her enough money and she'll have to work here no more. So you were like the endearing bad waitress. Very bad. People enjoyed their experience with you. Uh-huh. So you were like the endearing bad waitress. Very that. People enjoyed their experience with you. But yeah, I would drop drinks all the time.

I couldn't balance a tray. So I would bring drinks two at a time. People would be like, are you kidding? And I'd be like, no. No one taught me how to open wine. So I would bring a wine bottle to a table. And I'd be like, there you go. Leave the wine key there.

At once, I'll never forget this. I served a table white wine. And they were be like there you go leave the wine key there at once i'll never forget this i served a table white wine and they're like can we have a bucket and i was like you don't drink it out of a bucket they're like no a bucket with ice and i was like you want icing your wine and then i went back to my roommate jen who also worked there and i was like jen these people want to drink their wine out of a bucket but they keep looking at me weird when i keep saying they want to drink out of a bucket and she she's like, to keep it chilled, Nicole. And I was like, oh. She's like, the bottle goes in. And it blew my mind.

I was like, oh, I'm so dumb. Oh, good moment, though. But then I found UCB. How did you find that? I Googled, what do actors do when they're not acting? Really? And it was like improv. Yeah.

And then I looked up improv theaters, and there was The Pit, The Magnet, and UCB. And I applied to be an intern at The Pit and they rejected me. Who, what year is that? This was, my dad died in. Your dad died too. Yeah, 2010, I believe, because I moved to LA in, no, 2008, I think. How'd you, how'd they die? This is terrible.

Hold on. I have a tattoo. Of? My, the in, no, 2008, I think. How'd you mom, how'd they die? This is terrible. Hold on. I have a tattoo. Of? Of my, the date. Okay, 2008. What's that tattoo for? It's the date he died, so I can remember. Oh.

Because I have a terrible memory. Oh, wow. Yeah, that my mom's date is on my ankle. Truly, just an awful memory. Yeah. And I was like, these are two dates I should remember. How'd they die, though? My mom had a, it's called deep vein thrombosis.

So it was a blood clot in her leg that traveled to her heart and stopped her heart. And it was just like a sudden thing. And just we didn't know it was happening. Yeah. And then my dad died of a heart attack. Wow. How old was he? He was 54, 56.

He wasn't 60 yet. He was in the mid-50s. So young. Yeah, both of them were young. Both of them were in the mid-50s. Oh my God. So that must have been devastating. Yeah, it really fucking sucked.

Yeah. It was not fun. And you just started doing improv? Yeah. So my dad hated the city. He just didn't like it he didn't like the people he was too much it's too dirty and i started taking classes and i asked him i was like will you come to my graduation show it would be very meaningful for me and he

was like okay fine yeah and then he died the third week of my class. And then the first joke I ever wrote was, God, what was it? It was, my dad would rather die than watch his daughter do object work, which was too dark for audiences. They did not like it. Because what did you have to say? The punchline had to be like, no, he died. Yeah, he's actually dead, guys.

Like truly, he did not want to watch me dribble on imaginary basketball. He dead. Dead. It's so weird to... Processing grief with comedy is so... It's necessary for us, you know? But if you don't have the right distance from it, there's no way to do it. Yes. Until you have a little bit... You're a little grounded. you know, but if you don't have the right distance from it, there's no way to do it.

Yes. You know, until you have a little bit, you're a little grounded. Like if you're just sort of like, you know, I got to do that, you know, like, because if you don't have any sort of closure on the feeling, people are going to know, like, you know, I just want to tell you a story. It's like, oh no, she about to have a breakdown on stage. Exactly. I've had breakdowns on stage, I have you when i was younger sure but it's usually anger it was usually like fuck you people yeah oh i've done that i got real burnt out in 2019 because i was uh recently yeah i was on the road i would say almost every weekend of that year. Like, truly just like...

Hammering that special? Well, yeah, I was trying to sell a special in 2019. But that was the material from Big Beautiful Weirdo? Mm-mm. No. So half of it was in Big Beautiful Weirdo. And then half of it I did during COVID. Because I was like, I don't know, I guess I got to add a little bit of COVID stuff.

And things were happening. And I was like, oh, that would be interesting to put in the special. But I was trying to sell a special in 2019 i was just getting tired yeah audiences yeah you they forget that you're a person sometimes that like if you yell at me sure maybe i'll roast you or whatever but also like maybe i had a really bad day earlier yeah i just don't want to deal with that right uh there was one show where i i screamed you're all trying to break me and then i laid down on the floor i was like will you all shut up if i stand back up wow and they were like ha ha ha and i was like in my brain i was like i think i'm have i don't know if i'm all right right now yeah yeah for sure but i finished the show and it was fine

but then probably people didn't really notice yeah they're sort of like that was interesting that was funny wow what's your audience mostly like because you're popular uh thank y'all my audience is gay men fat women uh black women who sound like me what does that mean well sometimes people go you sound white or whatever which is like i don't know i'm black so to me i sound like a black woman sure who i is yeah so yeah women who've been told their whole lives that they don't sound like oh interesting black enough whatever yeah black enough or whatever um and then women who drag their boyfriends and then their boyfriends at the meet and greet go i've never heard of you one day in my life, but you're pretty funny. You should keep going.

And I'm like, I've never needed that. Thank you. Thank you, anonymous man. Oh, and couples that want to have a threesome. Oh, they am? Mm-hmm. And has that happened? No.

No. It's never sexy after a show where- It's the worst. I've had that happen maybe twice where you've got a couple and they're kind of like so what are you doing like not this not this i'm going to sleep because i have two shows tomorrow just the idea like what are they thinking i don't know you're just done with the show like all right let's go have some awkward time at your fucking house uh-huh no no thank you but i i imagine is did you ever do like cabaret stuff no or am i am i being somehow generalizing it just seems that like the gay men audience is a very specific thing yes and sometimes i want to generalize sometimes they're

very unruly and really want to be part of the show. Right. And they like to yell at me and stuff. But for the most part, they're pretty well behaved. Yeah. They just, they must love you. I think so. It's a good audience to have. They've got money. I have like a really good audience.

Yeah. It's like, sometimes I'll do shows and after the weekend, they're like, your audience is so nice. They tipped well. Right. Yeah. Because they're grown up people and they have so nice. They tipped well. Right, yeah. Because they're grown-up people, and they have their money. They do.

But also, I have a podcast where I talk about bad shows. You do? And I'll be like, yeah, if you go to a show, you be quiet. You tip well. You ha-ha-ha the appropriate times. You don't scream at people. Yeah. So I've kind of trained my audience.

Although, I started doing more crowd work, and I'll ask a question, and I'll just be met with blinking. And I'll be like, you can talk to me now and I'll ask a question and I'll just be met with like blinking. And I'll be like, you can talk to me now. I'm asking a question. I want a response. But I said it too many times. So what do the heavy ladies expect? I just think the older I get, the more I'm like representation is important and i think it's when you're a fat woman who maybe doesn't have confidence or doesn't feel comfortable in their body watching a woman who is pretty comfortable in their body and confident i think that might be like a little helpful

yeah i don't want to say inspirational that seems wild to say about yourself but have people said it about you yeah people have been like oh you've inspired me to wear tank tops in the summer crop tops and i mean i only really started doing that in 2015 i'm going out naked because of you i'm showing people my pussy and i'm like that's too far but good for you for being comfortable and confident yeah so it's uh yeah feels good when people are like yeah i woke up one day and was like fuck it yeah who like how long did you have to like do work around this stuff not necessarily work but i would wear like a short sleeve cardigan or like a cap sleeve in the summer and then one summer i

was like i'm just hot and i don't think my arm fat is really that offensive. Right. Or like my stomach. I don't think that's super offensive. And then I went to Palm Springs with a friend. I was wearing a bikini. This older man was staring at me. So I just looked at him.

I was like, you like what you see? And then he like really had a moment. Like I was like, oh, I think I like unlocked something in it. Like he was like, I do like what I see. You broke him. I did break him a little bit. And then I thought I was like, oh, I think I like unlocked something in it. Like he was like, I do like what I see. You broke him. I did break him a little bit. And then I thought I was like, well, if someone says something nasty to me or like stares at me, I'm like, I interrupted their day. That means I'm like kind of powerful.

And I was like, well, that's fun. And then people are like, you're promoting obesity. I'm like, how? I'm not getting money from big obesity. Like nobody. What do you mean? They don't call it that. They just call it at the food industry. Yeah. And I'm not getting money from big obesity like nobody like what do you mean they don't call it that they just call it at the food industry yeah yeah and i'm not getting a cut i'm not promoting shit you sick go to the doctor you're not getting a cut from the butter cake

people but uh promoting obesity yeah that's a thing people like to say no kidding uh-huh yeah that must uh that's a i that's a whole different type of karen it's weird because it's like you wouldn't say to someone wearing glasses like you're promoting glasses and it's like no it's just i wear glasses and it's like i just exist as a fat do you want me to not well i think that i think people associate it with poor health sure you know uh but i also like pole dance and shit and i'll like post those videos, and I'm like, I'm strong. I'm a strong person, and I do move my body. People are just rude.

Yeah, no question. Did you have to, I guess in terms of, was there a period where you needed, did you talk to a therapist about processing stuff? Not about my body. No. No. I, when I worked at Lame Giant, we're like skin tight stuff. And one day my manager was like, you know, that's not appropriate.

And I was like, this is a fat people store where the fats come. And I'm fat and you're fat. She was built like Shrek. I loved her. The fats. She like, it just was so wild to me that she was like that's inappropriate i was like what yeah that was like confusing that was like one of the things that like kind of unlocked my brain that i was like even fat people are uncomfortable

with fatness yeah and it's like it's just something that you have right and you can change it sure if you want yeah if you don't want to like go a walk every day. Make sure you're a little healthy. I don't know. It's a lot. It's a lot of bullshit wrapped up in bodies and weight. You like that?

The fats, yeah. Yeah, the fats are coming. No, my mother's terrified of it. My mother was an obese young person. Mm-hmm. And her reaction to that, like, she destroyed all the pictures of herself that existed no

of her with weight and she became you know fairly profoundly anorexic in a way but then just sort of made it her way of life like she's not inherently that unhealthy but maintaining her weight was like her priority for most of her life that bums me out because it's like she made me crazy yeah yeah it was all about she said she once said you know if you were fat i don't know if i could love you that's the wildest fucking thing i've ever heard how interesting because of her own her own shame but's like, if you're a nice person, and you got a little bit of fat, it's okay. She was just so uncomfortable with everybody else's fat.

Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. She'd hate me. No, she wouldn't. Oh, no. She likes people, but it's just sort of like in her mind, because of her feelings about her self-image or whatever it was, she assumes that you must be just feeling as bad as her.

Interesting. Maybe. I don't know. I don't think about it too much. I just worry about my own fucking dumb food things. I mean, sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like, oh boy, I don't like this today. But then I'll put on a bunch of makeup and put on a fun outfit. I'll be like, that was dumb earlier. You look really fun.

So the classes, who was teaching there? Who were the people when you were there at UCB? You went through the whole thing? Yeah. So Sylvia Ozil, she was my first teacher. Kevin Hines was another teacher. Porter Mason was another teacher Shannon O'Neill

Kurt Squinn Who was in your classes? People we know? No Not really I don't think any of those people perform anymore But I did meet Sashir through UCB Sylvia My 101 teacher and my 301 teacher

Had to put together a group of women From different levels. And she had me and Sashir there. And I remember performing with her and I was like, boy, she's cool. Oh, boy. And she's funny. I want to make her my friend. Yeah.

Which is now it feels insane that I was like, I'm going to make this woman my friend. And then I did it. Yeah. I've done that before. It's something. You probably get, you know, one out of five. Yeah. the other four like no here she comes god nicole's here again and she's so happy about it she's gonna want to

talk to us oh she loves talking and smiling i don't want it but yeah it's stuck she's did you guys improvise a lot together yeah we had we had a group called Doppelganger. It was me, Sashir, and another woman, Keisha Zoller. And yeah, we performed a lot for years and years and years. And we traveled and did festivals and stuff. With the UCB? No. Oh, you were an act.

Yeah, we were a traveling improv act, which sounds insane. With Doppelgangers? Uh-huh, Doppelganger. We would go to Canada and stuff for Canadian festivals. So that was your first touring stage work? Mm-hmm. And you would do mostly sketch festivals, or what were they? We would do improv festivals.

Oh, wow. I didn't even know they existed. Of course they did. Yeah, the one we went- But they weren't competitions. No, but we did win Best of the Fest at one of them. I think that was the Vancouver Improv Festival. I don't know if that still happens.

I like Vancouver. I like Vancouver, too. It's a nice, friendly town. Very friendly. Yeah, almost too friendly. Sort of like, what's going on here? A little bit, a little bit. I think I do a joke up there.

It looks like the whole city was built out of a kit uh that's funny because yeah it does it's just like adorable and perfect yeah like modern uh-huh general modern architecture yeah yeah so okay so you improv for a while and are you auditioning do you start to get stuff yeah so i was auditioning then uh the first thing i got was this uh nestle commercial for israeli nestle and they flew me to romania to shoot it and it was like a five thousand dollarout, and I was like, $5,000? And a trip to Romania. It was wild. Romania is crazy. I mean, not crazy, but it was like my first time out of the country, so it was crazy to

me. I got picked up in a Mercedes. I didn't realize that they're so much cheaper over there. I was like, cloth seats in a Mercedes is crazy. What kind of Mercedes is this? What is this? This seems like a Mercedes I could afford. And I remember they had to put me in a harness to make it look like I was flying.

And the stuntman was like, hello. I mean, is it racist if I do his accent? I don't know. What can I do? No, I mean, I don't think so. I don't think enough people know a Romanian accent. Okay. And I'm probably doing a bad one, but he was like,

Hello, I put the biggest man I could find in this harness and hoisted him up, so I know it is ready for you. He was smaller than you, but I don't think you'll fall. And I was like, Wow, thank you. I didn't need to know any of that. Thanks for the selfish feedback. Thank you. There you go

you're in the harness but also I was bigger than everybody in Romania they are small people I didn't know that everyone was so tiny and I was like boy oh boy but also I have a bad depth reception problem so maybe I wasn't as big as I thought I was I thought I was 5'7 until this year

I'm 5'5 so what were you doing in the harness? Oh, swinging around like a fairy. And they used fishing wire to maneuver me around. And I had to help a little bit. How's that not on the internet? I don't think it is.

I had it on my YouTube page. And I thought it was private for a very long time. And I was sitting with my friend. And he was like, it's not private. He's like, it's not private at all. He's like, look at all the views yeah and he was like it's not private he's like you it's not private at all he's like look at all the views and i was like oh no so i made it private because i was like i don't need the world to see this um and then i got it's a wild commercial it's truly wild yeah um and then one of like the very first like jobs I got, it was a little like, there was a website called Jest or Jax or something.

I don't know, like little comedy videos here and there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, Josh? Josh. Josh. I remember when they started that. It was like they tried to get everybody on board. I remember they approached everybody.

Reggie Watts, Sarah Silverman, those were like the core people, but did it go anywhere? I don't remember it. Josh. Itgie Watts, Sarah Silverman. Those were like the core people. But I don't, did it go anywhere? I don't remember it. Josh. It was around for a little bit and then it went away. I don't know if any of those videos still exist. I remember there was like meetings.

It was one of the, because I noticed that about a lot of the stuff you do. You're definitely of the age of new media business. But I remember Josh was the first sort of like you know you know they were trying to make a comedy content mill yes that was like funny or die i don't know which was first or what but i think jash was first and then college humor and then funny or right because jash just sort of like didn't yeah i don't think they ever really found their footing right right but i remember i went to a meeting there they had a building yeah they had money at the beginning right yeah yeah um so you did stuff for them yeah a couple videos here and there then ucb we would do videos and then me and sashir did videos and then i got uh just a real bit part on

30 rock and i was like she's arrived yeah uh truly i'm in the tag of an episode so like you blank you'll miss it like my grandmother was like you're excited about that and I was like bitch yes um and then I got girl code on MTV and then things started happening that was it yeah that was one of those uh talking head ones yeah where uh it was girls talking yeah girls talking about like periods or like oh my god when when is he your boyfriend yeah right uh yeah themes that never go bad that never go away correct always a constant or like, oh my God, when is he your boyfriend? Yeah, right. Yeah. Themes that never go bad, that never go away. Correct.

Always a constant. Universal themes that never expire. Yes. So you were one among many? Yeah, there was 10 of us, I think, something like that. And I auditioned for it and I didn't, I like watched an episode of Guy Coach and be like, okay, I get the show and I was like, I don't know what this audition is going to be like because it's just talking yeah so then i did the audition i was talking and i was like i think i did bad

yeah and then my manager called and was like no you got it and i was like oh okay yeah and i had moved to la at that point for whatever reason they flew me back to new york to shoot it yeah we just sat in front of a green screen right And there are green screens in LA. They said no thank you. Well MTV was in LA. Well there's one in Santa Monica. There's an office there but they flew me all the way to New York. They might have been competing. The two offices.

Maybe. That was cast out of New York. Maybe. I don't know. You never know. Who knows. How long was that gone for? I think maybe two, three years. So you'd do a bunch Who knows? But yeah. And then. How long was that gone for? What? I think maybe two, three years.

So you'd do a bunch and they'd put it in the can. Yeah. And then you'd never know. It'd just show up in different episodes. Yeah. And you never knew what you said would make it into what episode. Sure. But you were picking up some traction. Uh-huh.

A little bit of traction. I didn't know how many episodes I was doing because I never asked questions. Right. I booked this one Comedy Central commercial where they were like, meet us at 54th and Broadway or 8th or whatever and get in this van and we'll take you upstate and that's what we're shooting.

I didn't ask a single question. And I was like- You didn't even know if it was Comedy Central? Who knows? I was like, you could murder somebody this way. Like, what? They do. They do murder people that way.

But yeah, didn't ask a single question. And finally I was like, how many episodes am I doing? They're like, all of them. And I was like, really? Oh, wow. That's a treat. I like this.

This is MTV for no money. I mean. Yeah. You did all right, though. No. It's not an unknown thing. I mean, it's wild how little they pay. I don't want to shit on them because they did give me an opportunity.

But that's what they hang over you. Yes. They're like, it's exposure. And you're like, OK. And they hang over you. Yes. They're like, it's exposure. And you're like, okay. And I did say in one episode, I was like, it's funny. I'm on television and I still babysit to pay my bills. And they thought that was funny and left that in an episode. I was like, I don't think that's funny.

It sucks. It's not good. It doesn't make you look good. No. The network. Yeah, I babysat for a very long time. That was 2013. Yeah.

Huh. Like, I have no idea what happened. Like, because, again, the age difference is enough for me to, like, I don't even know what MTV was. I don't even know what was on MTV in 2013. Oh, you got your Teen Moms. You got your Jersey Shore. Uh-oh. Yeah. Ridiculousness. No music anymore. You got your Jersey Shore. Uh-oh.

Yeah. Ridiculousness. No music anymore. No, it's gone. Yeah. It's been gone. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Sorry about it. No, I know. I know. But by the time you were there, it was no music. No music. All funny, weird reality shows. Mm-hmm. So what happens after?

How do you start? Do you start getting recognized on the street and stuff? Yeah. Right. Which was very, very, very strange. People were like, I know you from Go Go. And I'd be like, oh my God, okay, hi. Yeah.

And then people would be like, I want a picture. And I didn't realize how excited people get when they see someone from TV. Like it was overwhelming at first. People were shaking in front of you. Yeah. Yeah. like it was overwhelming at first people were shaking in front of you yeah uh and then i started doing um stand-up specifically because colleges were like oh this is a popular show kids like it uh the cast members could come do stand-up and i was like i could do sketch and improv and my manager at the time was like no learn how to do stand-up who's your manager oh this person I do not work with anymore. Sure. Tee hee hee.

Yeah. It ended poorly. Okay. But the one good thing he did say to me was like, people are offering you money and it's as if you're not walking to the table to pick it up. So learn how to do it. Yeah. And he's like, and if you don't love doing it, you don't have to do it. But like, you might like it.

You like performing. I was like, okay. And it's colleges. Yeah. So, yeah. And you kind of, I don't want to say you can be shitty at a college, but there's a little bit of a grace period. Yeah.

Because it's like, I was 22, 23. They're 18. We're kind of at the same pinnacles of our life. And also like those crowds, a lot of them are too young to go out and do other things. And, you know, sometimes they're at lunchtime shows or weird, you know, and they don't really know. They're like newbies to life and it's their first time away. So there was a vulnerability there. They're not going to boo you.

No. But some of them do. I've had some real bad shows. Really? Because of what? Bad eggs in the audience? Just. They're just like we

don't want jokes we want you to talk to us like uh it was i think it was louisiana and we did a show there where they just weren't into jokes and then i did some crowd work had a kid come on stage they like loved that and i was like can i go back to my material they're like whatever went back to material they're like no so then i was like oh i'll just talk to you then and then they loved that so it's like you just got gotta figure it out sometimes. It's crowd work. So wait, did you go out and do clubs? So I started doing colleges

and then I started doing clubs and clubs are where- Do you like it? Stand up. I do. I do. I don't love a club. I like, in the beginning,

I think I still have like PTSD from the beginning of doing it because real adults didn't know who I do. I don't love a club. I like in the beginning, I think I still have like PTSD from the beginning of doing it because whose opinion agent has a point of view or whatever and i would get heckled by them sometimes and like get like i got into an altercation with a couple people where i'm like what is it is it you don't like me no great you can leave no oh well we're at a crossroads here you don't want to leave i don't want you here you have to go and then it's like i gotta spend my set yelling at people wow um but you couldn't get to the they wouldn't cop to what the hell the problem was well there was one incident where um i knew if i brought up money with this man it would really make him angry i said i make too much money to deal with you yeah you have to go and then he finally left and then I asked the manager I was like did he

bring up money again and she was like he did yeah I was like did he call me a slayer she was like he did and I was like yeah it's exactly what I thought it was yeah um so dealing with that early on was a lot and these were you could tell which towns I mean it was definitely a regional thing so you do the colleges and you do a lot of them. Yeah. And then the manager's sort of like, well, I can get you on the road. Mm-hmm. And then-

So you're headlining. Headlining. Probably at the point where I shouldn't have been headlining. Well, you probably got like, what, 40 minutes maybe? Yeah. Yeah. And then you stretch in, you try to do different things. It was hard.

Look, at another point in my life i would have been more critical of that birth into comedy because it was really sort of like the idea what your manager said about leaving money on the table if you can pull this off because of you know your recognition factor but i mean working for kids and you know playing with college kids is one thing but doing the the real road is another thing. Yeah. But it sounds like you learned your lesson somehow. I did. What I ended up doing, because I was like, huh, these shows go differently than my college shows. Yeah.

And I was like, they know me, so they're giving me a little bit of grace with this. Where people who don't know me are like, go fuck yourself, bitch. This isn't funny. Right. So then I would do shows during the week in la to be like if these people like me hopefully the people on the road will like me yeah so it was a backwards way to get into it but i knew at some point i had to get good or like figure out how to have a point of view and like what do i want to say yeah now i Now I love it. Now I love doing standup. I like doing theaters.

I did the Wilbur in Boston. That's a good one. Oh boy. What a fucking dream, man. Yeah. It was nice. Boston is such a good, I love Boston. Well, it's a good town.

Like I lived there for years. I started doing comedy in Boston. And you know, there's, it's a weird town. It's a little more segregated than you'd think. But but like they have that student population of about a quarter of a million every year, which gives you illusion of of of a progressive metropolis. But they're pretty good dug in communities there. And people are excited. And it's a good audience town.

Yeah, I like them. I do like some clubs. Hel in portland's really good to me i love them yeah uh what about denver you do comedy work oh i fucking love comedy works right i had some of the best shows my fucking life there like people were just so nice it's an electric room yeah and you like feel the energy it's tight it's so good i good. I mean, the DC Improv is also. Oh, I've been there in a while. It's a good room. Fucking love that room. How about Acme?

You do Acme? Not yet. In Minneapolis? Uh-uh. But you're doing theater. I think I was supposed to. Well, I would like to like transition to doing like small theaters. Yeah.

I just, there's like something about somebody paying like a little bit extra and then there's no food minimum. And they're there to see you specifically. All of them. Yes. No one's wandering into a theater saying, who's here tonight? Who's this bitch?

Okay. Oh, I like her. Yeah. Yeah. So the point of view kind of evolved because it seems like you're a fully sort of formed comedic personality. I think so.

And you either like it or you don't like it. And that's fine with me. You know, people criticize my special a little bit, but also people seem to really like it. What do they say bad about it? Oh, they're just like, you're not funny or whatever. But also I'm like, did you watch enough that a candidate of you?

Yeah. Because that's nice. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. So you just keep doing a lot of TV bits here and there? And then you had your own show? did i had my own show it's called loosely exactly nicole it was on mtv then i was on facebook watch and about six people watched it but i'm like proud of it i thought it was a very did you write it with other

people yeah i had a showrunner and then this guy Christian, he wrote the pilot, co-wrote the pilot. And then we had a room and it was fun to be in a room and to learn how that was. Yeah, yeah. I learned about titles. I thought story editors were like the people who figured out story as opposed to, no, no, you've just been in a room and now that's your title bump. Yeah. So I learned about that. I learned how to break story.

I learned how to outline. I learned when you go off on script and stuff. Yeah. It was really, really like interesting and story. I learned how to outline. I learned when you go off on script and stuff. It was really, really interesting and fun. It's like an education. Yeah, it's like class. I really loved it. But it's interesting that it was Facebook Red. Is that what it was?

Facebook Watch. Yeah, that didn't happen, did it? I mean, they had it, but it was really hard to find on Facebook. Yeah, there was just these weird things. I remember them coming up and being like, well, this is the new thing. It's like, is it though? Yeah. Well, I feel like everyone said that about Netflix and Netflix was like, we're here to stay.

Well, Netflix was like, it was, did they say that about Netflix? I feel like people were like, no, Netflix stream or whatever. When they switched totally to streaming, it just sort of evolved. I just remember I was excited to be able to rent DVDs. Me too. It was nice. They come right to your house. I know.

Thank you. That's nice. It's interesting because I can't really remember what the transition to streaming felt like. I feel like it was just a lot of people being like, I don't know. Just a day where you're like, all right, so now it's just on the TV? Yeah, it's like you just turn it on, it's there. Yeah, you just look for it? Well, not on the TV, it was on the computer.

Right, the computer. Right, because it was the computer first. That's true, yeah. And then it transitions to be like you can put it on your TV. Yeah. These monumental shifts in the way we see everything happen. And I'm sort of like, what day was that? It was gradual.

Yeah, it was a weird gradual thing. And now you have a hit show on Netflix. Yeah, which is really fucking cool. It's hard. It doesn't happen much. No, it doesn't. And they seem to keep doing it. Yeah, people like it.

It was funny because they were like, it's greenlit. And I'm like, okay. And I was like, I don't really know how to host. I don't know anything about baking. doing it yeah people like it it was funny because they were like it's greenlit or like okay and i was like i don't really know how to host i don't know anything about baking and then the show came out no billboards nothing yeah and then people just fucking found it i don't know how and then it really snowballed into this like really like it's a thing it's uh and there's other shows that are definitely like inspired by it which which is really cool. Yeah. And then I got nominated for an Emmy, and I was like, oh, my God. So now I get to lose to RuPaul every year, which is honestly very cool.

Are you friends with RuPaul? I mean, we're not friends, but I've gotten to be on Drag Race. Yeah. And Ru is a very kind person and funny. Yeah. Like, just so funny. Yeah. So you do a lot of the acting but the thing about hosting it's very specific thing it's a skill so you realize at some point because like when

when i started doing comedy when people do i was talking about this to my producer there was a time where game show host was a a specific job in entertainment on television primarily there was there was game shows there was a lot of them most of them were broadcasters of some kind but now these shows have evolved to a point where the the host is half the show it has to be part usually they were just driving the thing and they could be funny but now it's like it's all like we want you to help shape what this show is because they had an idea they just didn't know what they, like, how to, not how to execute. But you have a guest, a guest celebrity,

and you have the regular chef. Yes, Jacques Torres. Yes, and then you have the people. Yes. And the celebrity's either gonna,

you know, just chime in or not. Uh-huh. They're like, I guess I'll do it. Yeah. Do I have anything else that day?

Kind of. In the beginning, people were just like what is this yeah and we had more culinary people in the beginning and now it's transitioned to more like actors comics uh asap ferg was on an episode and he truly was like i don't know a friend of mine said this was funny so i came i was like okay and then you know he was so fun yeah uh but yeah it's been interesting. I'm having fun.

And what about the other one? Now you're like, you host another one too? Yeah, I host Wipeout with John Cena. And that keeps going? Yeah. The new season premieres, I should know this. That's all right. This month.

But that's one of those ones where people are like, all right, you got to make it to the other side without hurting your balls. Yes. And then, yeah, yeah you got to make it to the other side. Yes. Without hurting your balls. Yes. And then, yeah, yeah. And it really tries to hurt you. And the way some of these people fall, I'm like, oh boy, will you be okay? But it is wild to watch these people do the obstacle course.

Because there's obstacle course people. Yeah. I got a friend that's this thing. Really? Yeah. A grown up person person he does obstacle courses on like they have teams and stuff mud bikes oh yeah all that i could never no too hard yeah i asked to do the obstacle course and they were like maybe and then i dislocated my ankle

and i was like this is a sign from whoever's out there that i shouldn't do that no you get to a certain age where it's sort of like yeah if you're gonna hurt yourself really you know consider it you i don't know like the older we get you gotta you gotta be you gotta train to do shit yeah and you gotta stretch real fucking good stretch yeah and then you gotta stretch good after i know yeah i worked out this morning i I didn't stretch after. Oh, no. Mark, oh, no. I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen.

You're going to be sore. Something's going to happen. You're going to be sore tomorrow. I'm always sore. Always. I learned how to do a headstand the other day, and I did not stretch very well afterwards, and now I'm just very sore in the shoulders. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Just, ugh. So now you're doing a straight-up sitcom. Yeah. Just, ugh. So, now you're doing a straight up sitcom. Yeah. The Grandview? Grand Crew. Grand Crew.

On NBC. It's like a real network. Uh-huh. I watched a bit of three. There's only three up. Yes. Right now. Uh-huh.

And I don't know why Garrett Morris doesn't open all the shows. I mean, I don't know either, but. Did you watch him? Yeah, I was there. I was there when he did it. It's funny.

He's great and very kind and really nice. It was a trip though, the way he delivered them. I thought this guy's like, this guy's going to present all of them. But that's it. Is he out? That's it. He doesn't come back. Maybe he comes back next season.

I mean, hopefully we get a second season how many of you shot we shot 10 and it was great my friend phil jackson created it we used to do improv in new york together and it was just surreal to be able to like create a fucking network show with like a good friend that i came up with and echo kellum who's also on the show who plays my brother we were on a sketch team for four years together out here and then carl tart who's also on the show uh we've done improv together at ucb aaron jennings was on the show he was on loosely exactly nicole my show on mtv so like i knew him a little bit um and then justin cunningham and gracie mercedes i didn't know but like truly are great they're just nice people who are nice to work with. Everyone's nice.

And did you, are you part of the creator? Are you? No, no. Phil, he created it. And then Dan. So you're just cast. Yeah, I was cast. Yeah.

But he wrote it for me. Oh, yeah, yeah. Which is nice. Well, yeah, it seems like a fun show where people are just young people going through life. Going through life, learning about love, having a good time. Yeah, yeah. Drinking wine. Oh, who doesn't love love, having a good time. Yeah, yeah. Drinking wine.

Oh, who doesn't love wine? I drank a lot of wine last night. Did you? Yeah. How was it? It was good. But then I got home and I burnt a pizza. Okay, I put it.

So I forgot I need to put it like, if I use parchment paper, you got to put it in the middle and not close to the top where like the fire is. The parchment burns. Oh, it burned. And I opened the oven. oven i was like it's smoky in here yeah and i opened the oven i was like the pizza's fully on fire yeah and i was like oh no do i have to get a fire extinguisher and i was like oh no just turn off the source of the fire and close it so it can't get oxygen to get bigger right and then yeah i was like what are you doing you gotta got to go to sleep. You almost burned your house. Now you got to go to sleep. You got to throw that pizza away. You got to throw it away and go right to bed.

Your punishment is no pizza. No pizza for you. You fucked that up. So now have you been, are you done with standup for the time being or what? Well, I was supposed to do a show earlier this month to like test out a new hour to like go tour with it but that got canceled because of uh the disease yeah a marion or whatever omnicron whatever but so you have a new hour when was big beautiful weirdo was that last year two years ago already i shot that september labor day of year. And you already got a new hour?

About, I'd say like 45 minutes. Where you been working that out? Around town. Yeah? Yeah, I've been working out like 15 minute increments. So like I opened for Nick Kroll and I did 10. And then I opened for Tig and then did that 10 again. I was like, oh, now it's 15.

And then someone else gave me 20 minutes on another show and i was like oh okay so now i've like made that 10 is now 20 sure um and then i've added some to it so i think now it's probably like 25 and then i have like a half hour of old stuff that i hadn't fold it back in yeah until i get like a full hour that i'm happy sure oh good yeah it's uh you don't know when you're gonna go i don't know i don't know it feels weird Fold it back in. Yeah, until I get like a full hour that I'm happy with. Sure. All good. Yeah. You don't know when you're going to go out. I don't know. I don't know.

It feels weird to be like, come see me. Maybe you'll die. Yeah. I know. I'm about to go out. I don't know. I've been doing the store, though, like every night. There's some part of me that's sort of like, fuck it.

You know what I mean? I've done all I can. Yeah. I mean. Are we just going to stay in the house? I can't yeah i don't know i guess not i don't know i get like weird i don't know i've been doing outside shows yeah i didn't do any of those i just wouldn't do it you know fuck that well i

just it felt like it just felt like too much of a compromise. Like even during the peak COVID, I was like, I can't like, I can't bring myself to, you know, I love comedy. I don't care if it's during COVID. I'm like, I don't know if I'll ever do it again. I literally had that thought of like,

maybe I'm all better. Maybe I don't need this. I don't need to leave my house at night. Right. To get on stage in front of people and be like, can you please laugh at me so I can sleep tonight? Exactly. But the outdoor shows just felt like doing one-nighters like when I was just starting out.

When you do anything, that's how they felt to me. It's like, I'll do anything. Yeah. And I wasn't going to do it. Fair. Yeah. And you did it. I did them.

You liked it. Yeah. Ish. Well, I was just like, I need to figure this out. This might be the future. Yeah. Maybe we're all just gonna be outside forever um also i was i don't know i was taking covid real serious because like i don't know i smoke or i used to smoke i quit did you are you lying did you just catch yourself in a lot no i quit yeah i quit on the third it's probably better i quit years ago allegedly i was on nicotine lozenges for over a decade oh yeah i loved them and i was i haven't I quit. Yeah. I quit on the third. It's probably better. I quit years ago. Allegedly.

I was on nicotine lozenges for over a decade. Oh, yeah? I loved them. And I haven't smoked in a long time. But it's only been a couple years off the nicotine. I mean, it is tough. Yeah. I read this book and I was just like, you're addicted.

That book? Tee hee hee. The book? The book, The Easy Way to Quit by Alan Carr. You read it. I did. And it did it. It worked. I mean mean kind of

in a way where like in the book he's like people leave and they never want to touch a cigarette again i finished the book and i was like okay i get it yeah i would love to touch a cigarette again i would love to fucking smoke but like it's not helpful not good yeah it's no good it's not good for anything no i mean people are like you're stinky you're stinky. I'm like, am I? And they're like, yeah. I'm like, oh, okay. And no one smokes anymore. Yeah, it's not cool. Nothing.

Not cool at all. It's not cool at all. You got to go smoke outside. Vaping's gross. Vaping is, yeah, it's not for me. What is in that? I don't know. Exactly.

And for whatever reason, I was like, vaping seems worse than an actual cigarette. Yeah. So I was like, I'll just keep smoking them. But now I don't. Good. And what did you replace it with? Nothing. Yeah? Are you aggravated what did you replace it with? Nothing.

Yeah? Are you aggravated? How long has it been? The third. What is today? The third? Yeah, today's the 10th. So seven days?

Yeah. Oh, so you're just in it. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's great. Well, you're managing pretty well. You're doing pretty well. Well, it feels insane because I have routines. If someone was at my house, we would hang out or whatever.

And when they would leave, I would go to have a cigarette. Before bed, I would have a cigarette. So now before bed, I'm like, what do I do? I know. I just stare at my wall until I fucking fall asleep. All right. Well, you tried to eat a pizza, it sounds like. I tried.

Yeah. And then that caught fire. You did get smoke going i did so just just tell me that all these how many podcasts you do nine too many um so there's why won't you date me best friends with sirs made a uh 90 day bay with my friend marcy where we talk about 90 day fiance and then newcomers with lauren lapkus where we talk about movies that we haven't seen. I just heard some New Jersey. Oh. Will you talk?

It comes out every now and again. Where we talk about. Yeah, I heard it. Are these all weekly? Yeah. Oh, so you're busy. Mm-hmm. All right, that's good.

Are you happy? I think I'm happy. Mm. Who's to say? I guess me. You. Yeah. Oh, so you're busy. Mm-hmm. All right, that's good. Are you happy? I think I'm happy. Mm. Who's to say? I guess me. You. Yeah. You're the last word on that.

I'm happy. Good. Well, it was nice meeting you. Nice talking to you. It was nice talking to you. Yay. We did it. Yay.

That was Nicole. Always funny. Always going. that was nicole always funny always going again her series grand crew is on nbc new episodes on tuesday nights you can see her on all the episodes of nailed it on netflix or stand-up special our podcast but it was uh lovely to talk to her. Thank you. guitar solo guitar solo boomer lives monkey the fonda cat angels everywhere Boomer lives. Monkey. Lafonda. Cat angels everywhere. guitar solo It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice?

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