WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 1315 - Jeff Foxworthy

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

Jeff Foxworthy still cringes when he knows other comics are watching his work. That persistent insecurity and the desire to always stay funny is why Jeff has a new Netflix special and a whole new act. Jeff talks with Marc about the drive that made him quit his job at IBM to try and get on Johnny Carson. They also talk about how he formed the Blue Collar Comedy Tour and how he feels about being known for his “You Might Be A Redneck” hook even though it hasn't been part of his act for 20 years. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Lock the gates! all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fuck nicks what the fuck doodles how's it going what's happening how's your denial holding up how is your fortress of uh of rationalization holding up how's that holding up? How is your fortress of rationalization holding up? How's that holding up? How are you getting through your life? How are you managing your blinders so you can get a little joy out of your breakfast? What are you doing? How are you keeping things away from infecting the rest of your goddamn brain every time you turn on your phone? Give me some tools. Give me some tools. This is the way the economy works. How are you? What's happening? Welcome to the show. I'm Mark. Have

we met? Nice to see you. No, maybe I did put on a couple pounds, but it was worth it, right? Anyway, look, today on the show, Jeff Foxworthy, he's got a new special out. Jeff Foxworthy, he was popularized in American culture by a tagline. You might be a redneck if. But I've known him, I've not known him for years, but I did one of my first paid weeks as a stand-up, either opening or featuring for him in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Very nice guy back then. And I still hold that thing in my brain.

I'll talk about it in a second. What I did to distract myself from everything is get obsessed with a beanie. Some of you listened to my Keith Richards interview and I just couldn't stop pestering him about that beanie he was wearing, whatever you want to call it. I call it a beanie. I just wanted to know, man. I wanted to know where that beanie came from. In the same way that when I first saw Keith, when I was at high school i wanted to get a guitar like his it's just it is what it is it's a good hat it's a good old guy hat he looked great in it and i just got obsessed with it and i know it and some of it had to do with it being keith's beanie i get it but i was annoying to the point where his people yeah i i

yeah i i really get myopic or selfish or I mean, the guy was here to promote the goddamn reissue of Main Offender, which is out the box set. But I just want to know where the fucking hat came from. And I guess I was a little I was a little persistent because I asked the publicist, you know, maybe find out where that hat came from. And then somebody who is follows me on Instagram works for the Stones. And she's like, all right here. This is where he got it now just basically shut up about it we've had enough we don't want to give any juice to this company so just you know here do what you will i'm like jesus can't a guy want a hat i mean i'm not looking to promote the

hat but the bottom line was is after a couple couple of false leads of my own just poking around buying beanies, I thought I'd spent too much on a couple of beanies. But these beanies, the actual beanies, hand-knit cashmere, pricey. And of course, I mean, what did I think, that he got it at Urban Outfitters? I mean, he's fucking Keith Richards. He's going to get the most expensive beanie there is. Yeah. And don't think I didn't buy two of them. Yeah, these beanies better, you know.

I don't know. When I put them on my head, they better be magic. They better make me a fucking magician. They better make me a better guitar player. They better make me, I don't know, fly. I'm not cheap, man. And look, and I'm trying to enjoy my life and also trying to keep the darkness away by, you know, actively engaging in our economy. That's that should be the slogan for America.

That should be the progress. We're America. We're trying to keep the darkness away by actively engaging with our economy. Welcome. Welcome. Are you sad? Buy something. Are you depressed?

Buy something. Are you terrified? Guess what? You can just get online and buy something. Pow. I just shit my pants. It's just coffee.coop, a classic plug that was unwarranted unnecessary and unasked for okay so you're like am i going to give you the name of the place where you can

get the beanies if you want to spend like three to four hundred dollars on a on a hand-knit cap i can help you out i can i can direct you there go blow up their website go buy some beanies if you want it's uh Elder statesman is the name of the company That made the beanie and i'm not here to promote them on behalf of keith richard I want to make that clear. They were very sort of like You know, we don't want to okay This probably get me in trouble. It's probably get me in trouble with the throwing stones people, but

Look, man, it was a quest. It was a journey. And my persistence led me to the grail of the beanie. And I got it. And that's where I got it. So be it. I went to see Gang of Four last night. Look, I've got a couple of Gang of Four albums.

I always liked the sound. I love the guitar sound. I wouldn't say that I was like a crazy fan or anything, but I've got entertainment and the other record. And I always liked them. But my friend Nicole said, do you want to go? And I'm like, all right, I should go out and do something. Let me go to a concert. All I do is comedy and hang around with comics.

Maybe I should go see a show. So I'm like, okay. And even then I was like, you know, we got to get out. I don't want to get too many people around me. But it's not, I don't know if we're post-COVID, but we're certainly fuck COVID. And I've been out in the world doing shows, obviously, for months and months, as you know. And I got COVID a few months ago. But it's been, it was amazing to be out watching a show. There's an energy to it.

This fear that some people have, it's like, I don't even know how to be in an audience anymore. You know exactly how to. You know exactly how to be around people. It's what we're supposed to be. We're kind of like people are a species that needs to be around other people. It feels good. It feels good to become part of a bunch of people. Comes back to you man i mean it depends how terrified you are if

you're still terrified don't do it some people wearing masks some people weren't it's probably smart to wear them if you're still afraid if that'll make you enable you to engage with uh the group the group species activity but uh it was great it was great and at the beginning when uh when what's his name came out when john king comes out the front man of gang of four i'm like wow man everybody's old now we're all old but that guy leaned into it and fucking kicked ass and i guess the other original member is hugo burnham on drums sarah lee i guess has played bass for them forever she was great and david how do you say his last name? Is it Pajo? The guitar player, which is the driving,

the rhythm, the music of, nothing is more specific really than Gang of Four music, than the sound of it, that guitar sound, the drum sound, the bass sound. And they just nailed it because they're Gang of Four. But I don't know what they were like with Andy Gill before he passed the original guitar player but that guy pejo if i'm saying it right david boy man he fucking nailed it

and it was great it was electrifying and it was fun and i left before the encore which is amazing get out get out they left the stage i left the venue with my friend we walked back down i left my car at the comedy store and I had two slices of pizza. Did I mention Jeff Foxworthy's here? But he's a nice guy and I haven't seen him in person since I opened for him back in probably 1986 or 87.

Isn't that crazy? He's got a new special on Netflix called The Good Old Days. He's a real deal. He's a real comic. And this is some real comic talk coming at you right now. Me and Jeff Foxworthy. Here we go. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those.

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p.m in rock city at torontorock.com go do you know we've met before you know where i i mean this is kind of funny but i uh one of the first weeks i probably got paid to do comedy i can't i don't it has to be i can't remember if it was after i came back from la getting all screwed up on drugs or or before in between college and when i moved out here in 86 but i was emceeing at laughs comedy club in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Oh, my goodness. So it was probably 85 or 86. Yeah, I had just started. Right. And I think it was me and you and Jimmy Woodward, or maybe.

But it doesn't matter. But I was one of the first paid shows, and you were the comic. And you were closing with, I kind of remember, it was like maybe your dad on a boat that was on a trailer. He got pulled over by the cops, yeah, for towing a boat. And they were like, no, it's not against the law to tow, but law does require you put it on a trailer. Yeah, I can't remember the bit. And it was like, can you ask your friends to get out of the boat, please? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's 35 years ago. Isn't that crazy? Crazy. But I remember it. I remember, you know, because, you know, you're just starting out and it makes an impression.

And, you know, we were talking and hanging out. Was that before you were married even? Probably. Yeah. Wow. I got married in 85. So it was right around that time. Right, right.

Yeah. It had to be like that. You know, now, have you ever noticed this? We tend to remember other comics, old material, better than we remember our own stuff. Sure, until someone sparks it, like even what just happened. Like, how did you set it up? I reminded Leno of a joke he did. Yeah. Mike Lacey and I used to just guffaw at this.

Yeah. Leno had a joke about the, remember the Amazing Colossal Man? It was one of those old sci-fi movies where the guy had drank the formula and he grew to be like 90 feet tall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it showed his wife was like at home ironing with the TV on in the corner. We interrupt this program. There's a 90-foot man pushing over hotels in Las vegas and leno goes his wife stops ironing he goes you know bob's 90 feet tall yeah yeah and blaisey and i would just wet our pants laughing at that and jake's like i don't

remember doing that i'm like churn see so many jokes yeah he used to do a joke that i used to i remember about the remember about commercials. They were commercials from the Cling Peach. Cling Peach. The Cling Peach Advisory Board. It was like, this must be some job. Hello, Cling Peach Advisory Board. Yeah, is it okay if I can eat Cling Peaches on my cereal in the morning?

Yeah, we have no problem with that. You remember that one? I do. That was, like, and that, again, was like the 80s when he was doing clubs. Right, right. God, he was so good in clubs. Yeah, I remember seeing him in the 80s when I was out here at the improv or something. Yeah, just kill.

I got to check a story. Now, I don't know if it's, because I remember you telling me a story. Oh, Lord. I don't think it was about you, but it was one of these coincidences because, you know, I was a drug guy. I remember it,

but it was about you on a beach, staying on a beach and all these drugs washed up on the shore. No, I lived on, I lived in Sarasota. Okay. And I had, I had gotten,

I was young. I had gotten divorced. And so I had this, I was young. I had gotten divorced. And so I had this place. So you married once before? Yeah. Like I got married at the age of 20 and was married for like six months. It was just stupid. But I had this place and I needed the money.

So I rented it out to two German foreign exchange students. And they would get up in the morning and they would go walk up and down the beach. Right. And I'm working at IBM and I get up one morning and the two of them are in my dining room and they've got a bale of marijuana and kid and like big butcher knives and they're chopping it. And I'm like, what? They're like, we are so lucky it's washed up on the beach and i'm like dude i'm going to work this cannot be here when i came home and when i came back from work i think they had they'd moved in already 16 grocery bags full of pot uh wild but i remembered the seed of the story oh yeah isn't that trippy yeah i'm like but you could smell it from the parking lot yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was there. I think it paid for them to stay in America for another six months.

They're still here. Yeah, right. They're big marijuana dealers there for years. And they would cook liver and onions every night. That was it. You remember? I just remember that. A bale of pot and liver and onions.

Yeah. So wait, so where did you grow up? I grew up in Atlanta. I'm going to go there soon. Are you? Yeah. Where are you playing? Buckhead, Buckhead.

Yeah, Buckhead. It's like a little theater. I guess it's like a five or six. I don't know. Do you know the theater? Buckhead Theater? Yeah. Yeah, that's where I'm going to play.

I'll come see you. You're like 10 minutes from my house. Really? Yeah. Okay. Well, I don't think it's entirely family friendly, but you can say, I like it. Dude, I got 38 years in this business. You toured with Ron White. You can handle it.

I can handle it. Yeah. Well, I think it's interesting because I watched the new special last night. Did you? I did, yeah. That just makes me cringe. Really? Yeah, for another comic to watch it.

Yeah. That still makes you cringe? What do you think? What are you worried about? Honestly? Yeah, for another comic to watch it, yeah. That still makes you cringe? What do you think? What are you worried about? Honestly? Yeah. From the very beginning, I used to tell my wife, tell me when I'm not funny anymore. I don't want to be the comic that's not funny anymore.

Do you know what I'm talking about? Sure. Like everybody sees the old guy get up and you're like, oh, dude, don't get up. She's not going to tell you. She's not going to tell you. She's not going to tell you. She's not. You know what she told me? She said, you just listen closely.

You'll know. Yeah. No, I thought it was great. But what is the name of it again? The Good Old Days. Oh, yeah. At the title, I'm like, oh, it's going to get nostalgic. But it's not quite, you know what I mean?

Because there are some shitty things about The Good Old Days. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of shitty things about The Good Old Days. Oh, yeah. So a lot of shitty things. So like it was kind of a good mix. And you still got it. But it is very, like I'm always sort of amazed. Like, you know, I don't have to be dirty. But I'm not like, I'm not blue.

But, you know, language wise. And I'll push the envelope a little bit. But I don't mind it. But I've worked with guys like Bargetzi used to open for me. Yeah. You know, before, you know, he became a huge star. And't mind it. But I've worked with guys like Bargetze used to open for me. Yeah. Before he became a huge star. And I love it. But for some reason, I always say, well, I'm going to warn you. If you come to the show, don't bring your grandkids or anything.

Right. Well, he's one, so he wouldn't get it. Oh, good, good, good. But that's the only reason I say that. But no, I thought, how long has it been since you ditched that redneck business? On stage? 20 years? You haven't done it in 20 years?

Uh-uh. Isn't that wild? And it's funny that that's the thing everybody knows me for. At the height- How's it not going to be? At the height of it, I probably did it five minutes at the end of a show. Five minutes out of a two-hour show at its peak. Right, but there's a bunch of books.

Yeah, there's a ton of books. And people remember it. And I started doing a page-a-day calendar on it in 1990. And I still do it. It's a big hook. How are they not going to? Yeah, and so I'm not like I'm ashamed of it or I want to get. But it's like if anybody follows me as a comic, I think of myself more as a storyteller.

Sure, of course. And they're one-liners. Sure. And I think that's why they were popular is they were easy to remember. They were easy to retell. You could remember a line and you could get a laugh in the break room. People can make them up themselves if they wanted to. Oh, yeah, and they do.

Well, I remember, didn't you, those books, I mean, wasn't Vic Hanley helping you out with that stuff? Vic and I were buddies doing that. He passed away, right? Yeah, he did. He died about six months into COVID. Really? It was that soon, huh? Yeah.

From COVID? They don't know for sure. He was living in New York. Yeah, I mean, I knew him pretty well. I mean, at the comedy cell for years. He was a funny guy. He was. Yeah, good guy.

Nice guy. Yeah, nice guy yeah nice guy yeah um but uh but did you have people churning that stuff out with you i wrote a lot of them myself in the early days and then people just started sending them to me and yeah i mean like i said they were what it wasn't until i'd been doing them for 15 years one day rich scheider said to me hey uh you you know you you're doing the punch line first then the setup and i said what he goes well if you did it right you should say you might be a redneck if you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say cool whip on the side he said you're doing the the other way if you have a complete set of salad bowls

you might be a rich. I said, oh, crap, Rich. I never thought about that. It worked. Old Rich Scheiner, the technician. Give you a little shop talk. So, Atlanta, you grew up there

with how many? A big family? No, one brother, one sister. When did you start knowing you were going to do this stand-up well i i was one of those people that didn't know what i was going to do in life you know it was kind of like a family are you the middle i'm the oldest oh really uh and looking back i probably should have gone to like an art school or something i i always drawn and painted and stuff but uh like when i was in high school my i didn't have any money to buy my girlfriend a birthday present so

i entered a speech contest where the first prize was 50 bucks and i won it yeah yeah so do you remember that bit was it was now it was a serious speech it was something about america but but i but i kind of knew early that I could write. Yeah, yeah. And I knew I could make people laugh. But I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I flunked out of college. And my dad was working at IBM.

And so I think. Doing what? He was like a manager for them or something. My folks had been divorced for. They got divorced when i was really young but i think my dad called some of his buddies and he's like hey my son's kicked out of college he's working in a grocery store can somebody give him a job and you know one of his buddies go come down to ibm fill out a thing how'd you get kicked out of college well because i had

no money i was living at home and and i was working full-time at a grocery store, so I would work from 3 to 11. Oh, so you just couldn't focus. And then I'd get up in the morning, take 8 o'clock class. It was just too hard. Georgia Tech was hard anyway. Yeah, yeah. What were you doing there? What were you going to go for?

Industrial management, which didn't do anything. It was the easiest course that they had. Industrial management. But it was the closest college to my house. Right. But it was an engineering college to my house right but it was an engineering college right you know looking back i should have gone and taken journalism or art or something but you don't know you're a kid do you have regrets about that or well i'd say it worked out all right it worked out all right i know but was is there something in your mind you

like i really would have what rather if um i not really you know i mean it happened the way it happened sure but like i i learned real early in life like i i would save my allowance and i would buy comedy records i bought flip wilson and bob newhart and all the thing is you got older you bought carlin and prior yeah and so i learned very early in life i could make people laugh yeah but i just never envisioned that it was a way to make i – I didn't think you could do it. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I thought you had to get a job.

And so I was working at IBM, carrying a tool bag. It sounds more glamorous than it was. I was fixing machines. Like what kind of – You know, big computers. Really? I can't – Yeah, right.

The big old computers. Screwdrivers and, you know, take the power supply out and stuff. Yeah, yeah, something, you know, big computers. I mean, some of them is big. Yeah. Right. The big old drivers and, you know, take the power supply out and stuff. And, but I was the guy that was at work doing impersonations of the boss in the break room. Every office has that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The troublemaker.

The troublemaker. Uh huh. I wasn't on the fast track to the top. And, um, a bunch of guys I worked with would go to the Punchline, the local comedy club in Atlanta. DePettis Place? Yeah. And they came back and they were like, dude, you're funnier than a lot of people down there. You should go try this.

And so they entered me in a contest called the Great Southeastern Laugh-Off. It wasn't like an amateur night. It was working comics and they did like eight weeks. Then you had the semifinals and then the finals final is like what 84 84 and so i'm like crap you entered me and so i went home and wrote five minutes about my family and went down there on that tuesday night and i won the contest the first night i did it yeah and i was scared to death i couldn't look at anybody but i knew a minute and a half in i'm like crap this is it this is it. This is what I want to do. Yeah.

It's like a blessing and a curse. A blessing and a curse. But it's because you're like, so I quit. I mean, I went up amateur night for four or five months, and I actually met my wife the same night. She was there. She was acting. The night of the contest?

Yeah. She was acting. She had just done a TV thing with a guy that's a comedian, and he was in the contest. So her and a bunch of people. Robert Peacock. I don't know that guy. And I'm still friends with him. So they went down there to root for Robert, and I won, but I met her when I came off stage.

So I met my wife and my career four minutes apart, which is crazy. That was a Tuesday. We went out on a Saturday. I moved in with her on a Monday, and that was 38 years ago. So you moved in within a week? No, within two days. Yeah. It was a good first date.

I would say. And we're still together four decades later. Well, that's the good part of the story. Because you wouldn't have put money on that. No, no. Nobody would have put money on that. But I knew, I just like, man, this is it. But, you know, when you're from a working family.

Did your mom work? Yeah. But they were in separate houses and you were kind of yeah back and forth and yeah mostly with my mom because my dad lived out of state uh but but it was it seemed so flippant to not have a job job sure yeah and they get nervous for you oh yeah that's her my mom's first question when i quit ibm, I remember sitting in her kitchen and she said, are you on the dope? Oh, yeah. Whatever the dope.

The dope. A variety. Yeah. The broad ranging word for dope in general. Yeah. Drugs in general. Are you on the dope? Yeah.

And I said, no. I said, mom, I think I can do this. I said, I think I can. Yeah. Five and a half years later, I'm on Carson and the same mother's going, you wasted all those years at IBM. And I'm like, okay. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Then it was like, why did you get into this earlier? Well, it's better than the ones that are like, well, do you make money on Carson? Does that mean you're making money? Well, my mother still this past Christmas, because I flunked out. I made it through three years before I flunked out of college. Last Christmas, my mother's like, you really ought to go get that last year. I'm like, the comedy thing's going all right, mom.

Just for closure, you know, so you can have that degree. Yeah, you've got that something to fall back on just in case. Well, I mean, that's the thing. It's like most people, I think most parents that I have found, when I talk to people, it's not that they're not supportive. They're just nervous. And probably rightfully so. Of course, if they can talk you out of it.

But what does security really mean? I mean, what kind of life you want to have? I don't know. We're just unique people. There's some part of us that just doesn't give a shit and we're going to go do this. You're right. You're right because even if we hadn't gotten paid, we'd have been doing this. Yeah, it's a weird

thing that people don't really understand because people who are sort of like, well, what if it doesn't work out? Yeah, comics don't really even think about that. No. So does it ever cross your mind because you're like me and you've gotten away with this forever? Yeah. Do you ever just sit back and go, holy hell, I never had to get like a real job no i i did it the other night in a hotel room

in laconia new hampshire and it could have gone either way i could have been grateful or i could have been like what did i do but but i but mark i think that i'm like wow i kind of conned the world yeah i it's like when people talk about jobs and you start to really realize like the last one i had was at a restaurant in college and that was it and the other ones have been in show business somehow yeah yeah it's crazy well and there's something within us it's like my wife's sister her husband was in the military and they like knowing this is what we're going to be doing for the next 25 years yeah i can't well if any point in my career if if you had said to my wife

and i what are y'all going to be doing in a year we'd have looked at each other and giggle and go i don't know hell i don't know exactly i have a hard time now with tomorrow yeah like i like i don't know i gotta look at the calendar i don't know if that's a age in my brain or what but i can't i can't i can't think about it. No. Especially, what are you going to be doing in two years? Hell, I don't know. Are you kidding me, man?

This almost all went south for me. Yeah. It seemed like you were on a pretty good trajectory, most of it. I was in my 40s, and I'm like, I'm in trouble. That's the first time you went, ah, wait a minute. Well, it was like, if I don't turn this around, there's no turning it around. And I didn't even know what to do. That's when I started the podcast and things turned around.

Yeah, it seems to be going okay. Yeah, everything worked out. But, I mean, dude, I was in my 40s. Yeah. It wasn't, there was, like, I got shots. I was in the, you know, I was in the loop in the game, but I didn't go anywhere. Yeah. I had big management.

There's no one's going to take, no one's going to be like, they're not your parents. Right. You know. Yeah, they're not going to take care of you yeah so like so once you win the contest i mean what was uh because that was what year 84 so 84 so the club boom still kind of happening so how do you pay your dues what do you start doing you got five minutes i have way i mean i said like everybody else i started i quit the last day at IBM was New Year's Eve. And I drove from IBM to Birmingham and I opened for Sinbad for their New Year's show. In Alabama?

Uh-huh. How was that? Well, I used to get so nervous I couldn't eat the day of the show. And as I'm introducing Sinbad, he's cramming an egg roll in his mouth. And I thought, oh, my God, that's my goal in life. I want to be able to cram an egg roll. That guy can just do it. Oh, he murdered. Murdered. He could perform eating. Murdered. Yeah. But I,

you know, I worked weekend. Was that like a black crowd? No, it was a mix, half and half. But it didn't matter. He would have killed anyone. No, I was talking about you. I'm sure. I have complete confidence in Simbad at that point. I'm not one bit scared of a black crowd. No, no.

I'm just wondering how it went. I'm not saying there's no fear. It went all right, you know. But like you said, I had probably seven or eight minutes when I started. And that's all you had to do? And I used to keep those. Remember those little calendar books? And I would have. Sure. I'd work Tuesday through Sunday. minutes when i started that's all you had to do and i you know i used to keep those remember those little uh calendar books and i would have sure i'd work tuesday through sunday i'd drive back

home to atlanta wash my clothes on monday and go back out but was there like a one-nighter thing too because i have all my old calendars and i go through them and i try to remember those rooms because i was in new england there were just dozens of one-nighters same thing in florida north carolina there was just one-nighters right so thing in Florida, North Carolina. There was just one-nighters. Right. So you did that thing. I found- Two-person show usually, like opener and a headliner. Yeah. I found the book from the first year I was on the road.

Yeah. I did 406 shows. Now, that counts like two on a Friday night. Right. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 406 shows.

First year? First year. $8,300. Hey, you're getting your education, man. man well that's how you learn to be and and you know i say that it's like if you want to be an actor you go to acting school you want to be a musician you go to music school you want to be a comic you hang out with comic yeah you want to be a comic you go to the shitty place that has a comedy night yes and it's you and some sad bitter headliner so you're doing those one night it's you and some sad bitter headliner so you're doing those one night it's like who are the guys who you open for killer bees bees was opening for

me but i i'm trying to think like there was a guy named billy elmer there was billy elmer right he and then he ended up in radio right didn't he billy i think billy yeah uh i was there was frankie pace you remember sure frankie with the hat. The bald guy did the miming, the piano. Sure, I knew Frankie. A bunch of guys from New York. John Heyman. John Heyman, wow. John Heyman.

I remember that guy. He was funny. John Heyman made me laugh. He's funny, man. Just to hang out with for the night. Yeah. Yeah, he was like a Priya Talatal kind of, I guess. Yes, he was.

Yeah. Yeah. I remember Heyman. Yeah. I remember him. And I would make myself. I think I was smart enough even then in the beginning to realize that this boom wasn't going to last forever. Right. And so I made myself get out of my comfort zone. I didn't just stay in the South.

So I'd go to New York and do the crap gigs in New Jersey and all that. The Roger Paul and Tony Camacho gigs. Tony Camacho with the biggest tongue on the planet. Or go hang out at Catch or whatever. But I wanted for people to... I knew at some point the bottom was going to fall out, and I didn't want to be one of a thousand guys calling, saying, hey, you don't know me, but...

Right. So you wanted to get in in New York and stuff Well, yeah, and I don't know if you ever felt this way, but it's like in your own hood like Atlanta Sure, I could look at the pictures on the wall and I knew where I fell in that list I'm like, all right I may not be at the top but I'm above these people was the top guy when you were coming up in Atlanta? Atlanta? James Gregory, probably. Really? I don't even know that guy.

He's still doing it. Still killing it. Regional? Yeah. Yeah, he never. Well, that's the thing about these. Like, I came up in Boston. There are regional acts that kill.

Kenny Rogerson. Kenny's great. He was a Boston guy first. Kenny was a. Is he down there now? No. I don't know where Kenny is, but he was funny as hell. I'm thinking of Boston. So funny, dude.

Kevin Meaney, Big Pants. So funny. Oh, yeah. Don Gavin. There were so many funny people from Boston. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mike McDonald.

Yeah. And some of them are still doing it there. Yeah. I came up with Joe Iannetti. You know Joe Iannetti? Yeah, I do know Joe. Very funny. Yeah.

I mean, I used to do open mics after college. It was me and Joe Iannetti and who else? So you were working around some really good comics back then. Well, yeah, because I started doing it. The first time I ever really started was 84, the summer of 84. Now, was Poundstone from Boston, too? I saw her do a show at the Paradise know someone sent her like a million uh like a hundred boxes of those uh those ding dongs or whatever the show she used to love those it was

some sort of pastry but like when i started i only did it for that summer and then then i didn't do it till i graduated then i in 86 i moved out here and became a doorman at the comedy store so why was that it was too hard i i'd put i'd gotten into comedy with another guy and we did a team thing in college. And then like when I started doing it myself, just the hammering of the open mic at that time. And I was drinking and I was a kid. I was 21. But I would just like waiting around to go on. Like Kenny, like I remember one night specifically, Kenny was hosting an open mic.

He got shit faced and he just kept bumping me. And then all of a sudden there's no audience left he's like ah i forgot after i've been there three hours and it was just it was kind of brutal but as soon as college ended i'm like all right well i'm in and then i came out here you know but it's always brutal when you're like i remember one night being a catch the worst i wouldn't go there because of it and and finally lewis is like okay you're you're gonna go all right foxworthy foxworthy but he said hey but uh listen um george wallace wants to do five minutes in front of sure well george has never done five minutes in his life you know george gets up there

and does 50 and then it's like no i'm sorry you Well, to me, that 20 bucks was the difference between eating and not eating that night. Right. And also, there's the idea that you did catch. Yeah. That you had this. Like you were some star because you did a set at catch. I couldn't deal with that place. Yeah.

And just that guy having any power of my life, I couldn't handle it. Oh, yeah. So I just did the downtown rooms. I'd go do Silver's old improv. Would you do the strip? Yeah, sometimes. You know, Lucian. But Luci the downtown rooms. I'd go do Silver's old improv. Would you do the strip? Yeah, sometimes. You know, Lucian. But Lucian was like,

I've already got an angry white guy. And I'm like, what do you want from me? Right. So I was sort of down at the Boston Comedy Club. And Silver, when she had the improv

and it's Dying Days on 44th, I'd do that place. Right in the middle of Hell's Kitchen. Yeah, yeah. But that was all right. Yeah. Yeah, it was like missing letters. It was a funky little club.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, it was great. And it was over by the time I got there. Right. It was just me letters. It was a funky little club. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was great. And it was over by the time I got there. Right. It was just me and Uncle Dirty and Bob Shaw. I remember. I was so.

So the first time I went up there to work, it was a Jersey gig. And they said, we'll pick you up in front of the improv. And I thought, the improv in New York. And I get down there. And of course, it's in Hell's Kitchen. And as I'm waiting for my ride, I watch a guy get stabbed on the corner. Come on. Two guys jump the guy. Boom, boom.

Really? Take his wallet. Here comes the police, the ambulance. And now I'm this Southern kid. Oh, yeah. So they pick me up. I go do the gig. I'm telling them, the dude, they jumped him.

They stabbed him. So we go to the gig. I thought the bit would be now that it's like well i guess you're gonna have to do his time because that was the opening no so we get back yeah and they drop me off in front of the improv and it's like two in the morning and my wife and i are staying at a horror this is before they cleaned up times square so we're staying at the Consulate over there on 49th, and I've got to get from the improv over there, and I have no money. So I hid my money in my shoe, messed my hair up, and I walked picking up cigarette butts,

talking to myself, because I thought, if they thought I was crazy, nobody would mess with me. It's so funny, the perception of New York. But you did see someone get stabbed, so it makes it a little different. Well, that's so i'm like picking up oh that's a beauty right there yeah until i got the last 50 yards from the hotel that i just ran yeah how the hell did your wife stay with you through all this broke ass stuff you know she she always felt she said i never wanted a boring life.

I always figured I would have a bohemian life. She never cared about money or whatever. She just didn't want to live in a box. Well, did she come from that? What's her background? She's from New Orleans. She was acting. Yeah, so she lived in the real bohemian world. She lived in the bohemian world.

You know what she knew, though, about you? Is that no matter how dire straits got, you're a good guy. Yeah. Right? You know what she said? What? And I'll never forget. So we meet.

So she's there. She sees me the first night on stage. And we start going out and doing this. Yeah. And we'd been going out for a couple of months. And she said to me one night, she goes, you have all this creative stuff. Yeah. And we'd been going out for a couple of months. And she said to me one night, she goes, you have all this creative stuff. Yeah. Just crammed inside of you. And if you don't find a way to let it out, you're going to have a real crappy life. Yeah. And so she was the only one that was saying you could do this. You could quit IBM. And Mark, I felt like, I mean, it sounds hokey. I felt like somebody was actually seeing me for who I was for the first time in my life. And I'm like, really?

You think I could make a life being creative? Because nobody's ever said that to me before. And so she's like, yeah, hell, let's do it. And we didn't, I mean, mean hell those first few years we got married in new york for a hundred bucks uh we went down to to the city hall why in new york because i'd won the contest and i got to go so this whole marriage and relationship thing was spontaneous it's totally spontaneous so so so we're in new york and we're like, oh, hell, let's get married. So we go down to City Hall, and we get a marriage license.

And we're standing in line for the Justice of the Peace, and this girl in front of us, her water broke right there. And I got so grossed out. I'm like, I can't do it in here. I can't do it in here. So we went out to the street, and I found a phone book, and I was looking for, like, Justice of the Peace, and I couldn't find one. So I'm going to churches, and I called this church church and I said, hey, do you marry people? And the guy's like, yeah, I'm married. Yeah, he goes.

I said, how much? He said, 300 bucks. I said, hell, we don't have 300 bucks. I said, why is it so much? He said, well, it's 200 for the chapel, 100 for me. I said, we don't need the chapel. We'll do it in the hall. And he started laughing.

He said, you know what? He said, I'm right across from the garden at Central Park. I'll meet y'all there. And so our wedding photos are two Polaroids of me and my wife and Andre the park sweeper with his broom who's got one arm around my wife. Huh? He was the witness. Yeah, and he's got the broom in the other hand. For $100, we didn't even have enough money.

We split an entree at Tavern on the Green. That's how. That's a sweet story, though. Yeah. It's all sweeter because you're still together. Yeah. These stories would not be great if it didn't work out. No, but it's like, you know, my daughter got married like three years ago, and it probably

cost $75 billion. And I said, look. You know how much it costs. Your mom and I. You know how much it costs. i you know how much i swear to god mark i don't because because because like when my wife's name is greg she has a weird name but so greg and my daughter are sitting there going and look at this tent isn't it pretty and they've got that and i go how much is it and my wife would look at me and go you're taking all

the fun out of this and they would leave and i hell, I still don't know how much it is. And so the morning of the wedding, we got up, and we're sitting there drinking coffee, and I looked at her, and I said, you know, I don't know if this is costing a dollar or a hundred million. Yeah. And she goes, think a hundred million, and you're going to be really happy. Yeah. So to this day, I have no idea. It was a lot. I know that. Yeah. Well, it's different. It's nice to be able happy yeah so to this day i have no idea it was a lot i know

that yeah well it's different that's nice to be able to give your kid that right yeah so uh it's a great day how old are you though man i mean i'm watching you on this thing i we can't be that far apart i'm 63 all right i'm 58 so you just you had kids pretty i mean you got grandkids just i get my first one he's a one-year-old. We had kids kind of late. We were like 33 when we had our first one. And they had, so your daughter had kids pretty soon. Yeah, she's like 27. Oh, really?

Yeah. I guess I don't really realize, I don't have kids, so I don't see myself aging. So like I can't, you know, I don't see their progress and go like, oh my God. Well, it's kind of weird because in your mind, I can, when i look at my grandson who's one i can still see my kids at that age you know aging is i don't know if it's that way to you in my mind i'm still the new guy in comedy you know yeah there's something that doesn't change inside of us i do notice that that there for me it's a you know some sort of fundamental weird insecurity like no matter how successful or what happens there's still sort of there's still some part

of me like how'd that guy get that but don't you very clearly kind of remember being the new kid and and now you're like crap i'm not the new kid i'm the old guy we're definitely the old guy yeah but like i see it more because i'm out i'm doing you know the comedy store every night and there's all these kids running around i'm like i really don't know who's doing this anymore. And we used to know. Yes. And you know, you don't know. And it's like when they ask me for advice and I go, well, I made most of my money on comedy records and DVDs, which nobody buys records or DVDs anymore.

So I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. I think there's a lot more ways to get seen now, but the pie is split so much smaller. You know, it was back 35 years ago, if you got on Carson and had a good set, it was like the Mafia. You were a made comic. Did you do Carson? Yeah.

You did it with Carson? Yeah. shit so wait okay so you go to new york after you win the contest you get married in the park you see a guy get stabbed and a water break it's a big big big deal yeah beginning of life death marriage and then you go back to at. And what, you become, what, you just start working out the punchline? I'm just, no, I'm a road dog. I'm all over. I mean, who's running you out there? Is DePetta your manager? DePetta's managing me at that point.

And I am on the road every week. Because my whole goal was to do Carson with Johnny. Right. And I know he's not. You knew there was a window. I know he's not going to stay that long. And everybody was saying, well, it takes you 10 years to be good enough. And I'm like, I ain't got 10 years.

He ain't staying 10. So that was what was driving you. Because you saw your heroes on there. Yeah. And you knew that was it. Well, I remember being a kid. And my mom would watch The Tonight Show. And you know how a door's not closed all the way.

And I can remember, I didn't care about the actors. I'd watch The Tonight Show, and you know how a door's not closed all the way? Sure. And I can remember, I didn't care about the actors. Right. But when I heard a comic, I'd get out of bed, and I'd go watch it through that crack in the door. Yeah. George Goebel and all those. Yeah. And Rickles.

Yeah. And so- Rodney. That was my goal. Yeah. And so I said, everybody said, well, it'll take you 10 years. And I thought to myself, I said, I'll do you 10 years and i thought to myself i said i'll do it in half that i'll do it in five and it took me five years and two months but i but so you

started out as a feature and now i started out as open but i didn't open long i opened for like four months and then i was featured but i was but but i maybe it was ibm but i had a work ethic about it like i go back to the you wanted to do the condo i was i'd go over my set and i'm writing you know it's way before you were recording your stuff but i'm writing every night so you're the guy writing while the headliner is drunk or having sex and oh yeah yeah they're everybody else someone's sitting at the table doing blow and you're like, no, thank you. I'm working on my set. So this is... Oh, that's the picture.

I was wondering, are you texting? No. Oh, yeah, look at that. And he's laughing. Yeah, he's laughing. You and your thin tie. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great shot.

Yeah, I did a file on a few years ago and the lady said, hey, I was going back through the files and I found this picture and I never got anything from Johnny. So I'd been there for 25 years. And I said, oh, my God, actual picture. She had a photograph. She gave me that picture. Oh, that's great. And I said, I said, you have no idea how much this means to me.

Oh, that's beautiful. You know, it's funny is like, you know, I was in the hotel room because I did a string of dates last week. I'm watching all the late night guys. And I got to be honest with you, you know, Fallon's really the most fun to do, to play to, no doubt. When I do Fallon, like, he's really looking at you like, are you going to make me, is it going to, are you going to do it? Yes. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah.

And Jimmy loves stand-up. You know, loves comedy. Yeah. Yeah. He's excited.up, loves comedy. Yeah, he's excited. Yeah, I did. Because a lot of people were kind of hard on him at first, but I'm like, he's the most fun, as a comic, to sit in that chair next to him, and he's looking at you for real, like make me laugh. And he also knows how to save people.

Oh, yes. So he's good at that. But see, Letterman loved you. Well, I mean, I did it a few times, and I don't know that he really remembered me. I saw him the other night, dude. It was very funny. Someone brought him over to the Comedy Store

to see me specifically. I've interviewed him. He knows me, but I don't think he remembers anybody was on his show. Sure. If you've only been on there five or less times, I don't know. But it was so funny

because I'm backstage at the comedy store and it was like a weird night it wasn't even a regular night it was a produce show like that I agreed to do and the the manager comes back he goes David Letterman wants to talk to you I'm like he's here and he's like yeah he wants to talk to you my first thought was like am I in trouble going to the principal's office am I out yeah am going to? But I hung out with him. So what did he want? He just came down with some people, and he just wanted to tell me that he loved what I was doing because no one was doing it, and it needed to be said. And then we just talked for a while, and he was like, yeah, we laughed.

I got him laughing. That's the best thing. Even in that picture of you and Carson, I was on the patio of the comedy store, and I got Dave laughing. And you know that laugh from your whole life. Yes. Yes. To make them laugh. It's like,'s like oh my god it's happening inside of you you know it's great so five years in you're out there so you middle and what were you middle when you did it now well i just i'd gotten to the point where i was no i my first headlining gig was a year and

a half into it sure well okay uh so i was kind of headlining like at the end. Was that like a triple gig? Yeah. No, it was like a KC, the treehouse in Kansas City. Oh, really? So, but I was like headlining Funny Bones and Punchlines and Improvs and things like that. But I was living in Atlanta and I kept mailing tapes to the Tonight Show and they would just mail them back. Oh, really?

Dependent didn't have any no and they were and they were like and my wife finally said you're not going to know if you can do this or not unless we go to la so we load you know like the clamp it's in reverse and we go to we go to la doing for work during this one here at this point she's selling milk for a local milk company she quit i mean she's doing a little bit of acting yeah she's uh but we're starting to make enough money to live. But you've got to go out for it. But Leno, I will have to say, Mike Lacey at the Comedy Magic Club liked me. I went down there and Mike had Leno watch me.

But you moved out here. Yeah, moved out here to U-Haul. Yeah. And so Leno went in and put a word for me. And then we'd been here about three weeks. And I did a set at the Improv. And Jim McCauley followed me out into the lobby, and he said, why haven't you done the Tonight Show? And I said, because you keep sending my tapes back.

You don't even open them. Yeah, yeah. And two weeks later, I'm on the Tonight Show. And at that point, like, that's what, 86? No, that's like 89. Oh, so it's 89, so it's almost done. So it was like the Tonight Show. I don that point, like, that's what, 86? No, that's like 89. Oh, so it's 89. So it's almost done. So it was like the Tonight, I don't remember when he retired.

I think he quit like 90 or 91. Right. So like, it was weird because you talk to the guys from the 70s, they're like, that first one just meant you better have nine other ones ready. Yeah. That was a whole different time. Yeah. Those guys, they do five and you didn't know if they're going to call you in two weeks.

Oh, yeah. Which they might. Yeah. You might. Yeah. But so you had the one shot with him? One with him and then Jay took over and I did a million of them with Jay. It's so funny because I just drew a line with Jay. I was like, I'm not doing it. Because Letterman was my guy.

Yeah. So I had this loyalty thing. I'm like, if those two got problems, I'm going with Dave. Well, remember back in those days we we almost had to declare you either had to be a j guy or a letterman definitely letterman guy even though he wasn't like putting me on a ton but i definitely was but didn't you what's it was letterman weird for you to do like i remember like letterman would almost try to trip me up oh well i didn't't do much panel. I remember I did four episodes. I think I did four stand-up shots and one panel towards the end. Yeah.

And the stand-up, I work with Eddie Brill. First, Zoe Friedman got me on first. And we work with her. And I work with Eddie on the sets. And I just remember one set I did. They all went pretty well. My first Letterman was great yeah and i remember going to the panel but like he didn't we didn't do much of it yeah but like

right when i sat down he goes you can make that work on the road that's what he said to me when the cameras went out i'm like yeah i didn't i wasn't sure how to take it, but I'm like, I can do it. I can make it. Oh, I remember, like, I always preferred to do stand-up, but that kind of went away, you know. I love doing panel, but I did stand-up on his show. I was in control of the pacing and all, as opposed to somebody setting you up to tell the story about your vacation. Well, I did like 50 shots on Conan.

I was on Conan a lot. It didn't sell one ticket. Because I think I changed my haircut too much. I always blamed it on my haircut. If I could just level off on a hairstyle and some way of dressing, I would be successful. I picked a hairstyle when I was a junior in high school, and I never changed it. I see it. when I was a junior in high school and that never changed.

I see it. And the mustache, you know, you're set. But the guys I always liked watching were like Richard Lewis on Letterman and like the panel guys. Yeah. Because then you could build this character thing. Yeah.

So I just did panel all the time. And the other benefit of it was if they got stuck, they would call me and say, can you do it tomorrow? You got anything? I'm like, I got a bunch of half ideas. You could go on with half ideas because they were funny enough. Right.

Do you know what I mean? Right, right, right. Didn't have to be developed stand-up. There's part of me that's sort of like, I wonder what it would be like to do one of those. Because by the time the 90s come around, you're talking about four and a half minutes, five minutes. You're not doing eight minutes stand-up.

No. I mean, it's like five minutes. And I will say, say like doing that thing with johnny yeah because you you did stand up and then sat down right well you don't know i did i got called to the so you don't know if you're going to sit down but you did stand up but but i so you're but but you know how it is you've got to prepare that set and and they say i'm not talking 555 and i'm not talking 605 it's six minutes you're doing it around you're going all over town and making sure this thing's exactly six minutes yeah because you pulled it all out of context yes

all out of context all pieced together yeah so i go up they open the curtain i find the star and i get about three jokes in and i get an applause break now i'm smiling but inside i'm going oh shit this is messing it up and i'm thinking three minutes down the road going all right i got a tag on that joke about my dad i'll throw that i'll get rid of that because this you're pulling stuff out so you're yeah i'm pulling stuff and then i get two more jokes in applause break and i'm like crap i gotta get rid of that whole joke so you're smiling and talking but you're really editing two or three minutes ahead of yourself because i would just my thought would be like just talk over the applause just stop the applause you know there's no way i'm rearranging this thing i'm just gonna have to step on this applause so i can get we don't want them clapping exactly

yeah so after that you're made guy yeah kind of i mean it kind of happened pretty fast i in 90 i won the uh american comedy award the club comic of the year and then i got oh and they still had that little book that was a comedy club yeah was it the punchline magazine or whatever yeah and then i did a showtime special that year it was like 91 yeah 90 yeah so and who are the guys they're like around like so jenny's still huge back then jenny was big yeah slayton slayton was big yeah yeah um because you're going all over the country right so you see jake johansson jake johansson drake say the drake yeah that was one of i i worked with drake quite we did some little comedy festival thing together for a while and

he made me laugh dark guy dark larry larry uh miller larry miller yeah you talk about funny great oh my god he's string a story out mark mark Schiff. Sure. Mark Schiff. Mark Schiff. He talks. He's got that weird wispy thing. Mark told me, I worked with him at Zany's in Nashville early on, and he took me to dinner. Back in the days where we weren't making any money. Maybe it was before it was orthodox. Yeah.

Yeah. And he said, you know, I just decided if I ever headlined, I would take the other guys to dinner because they're not making any money. Oh, that's nice. And so I'm like, I'm going to do that. That's your policy? If because they're not making any money oh that's nice and so i'm like i'm gonna do that that's your policy oh that's good so when did now how does it really go down you know like because i don't know like i knew dan whitney for a minute when he was at the comedy store when i was a doorman before he was larry the cable guy right and i never knew ingvall I never knew his work at all.

And, you know, Ron White, I kind of knew by reputation. But these guys, by the time you guys decide to do that thing, are big acts, you know, at least regionally. Ingvall was probably the biggest guy on the Funny Bones circuit, you know, because he was out of Texas. And people, when I started doing Funny Bones, they would kind of compare us. Some people thought Foxworthy was compare us like some people thought

fox worthy was funny some people thought ingvall was funnier and then we met and we went oh hell we like each other i thought i hated your guts oh really just because of what you're hearing about and i knew dan but when he was dan whitney right you know he was like that the opening act at the comedy corner in west palm beach and we were both braves fans. So I'd schedule two weeks down there during spring training, and we'd go to ballgames every day. Right, yeah, yeah. And Ron, I saw Ron the first night he ever went on stage, his first amateur night.

In Texas? Yeah, in Arlington, Texas. Arlington. Uh-huh. And he was selling windows for a living. Yeah. He's a seller, that guy. And I went and found him in the corner, and I'm like,

dude, you're funny. You need to be doing this yeah so so wow so you saw him like when his very first time on come on yeah what are the odds of that yeah so and we just kind of became friends then he like quit his job he started being a comic down there and i worked down there a lot in houston right well this was in arlington because he was kind of living between fort worth and but yeah but he hung out with the houston guys a lot and yeah um and bill and i became buddies and and dan you know i call him larry half the time and dan half the time yeah but we had been friends and so so so y'all knew each other but like so you're touring you're just doing the headliner thing and you're appearing and

you did the Showtime special. I had a sitcom for a while, which I hated. You did? I hated. What was that called again? The Jeff Foxworthy Show. That's a clever name. Yeah.

But I was never one of these guys that wanted that. It was kind of like somebody said, hey, would you like to do a sitcom? Were you out here when it happened? Yeah. So how long did you live out here? Like seven and a half years. Oh, so you were really doing it. Yeah.

And then you just- And I started doing it, and then they didn't want me in the writing room because I was a comic, you know. All right. And I'm like- Let us make decisions for you. Yeah, this is TV, Jeff. And I'm like, it's called The Jeff Farnsworth Show. Oh, so yeah.

So I just hated it. Because I'm like reading something that wasn't funny yeah and then on saturday night i'd go out and do stand-up and i was saying what i wanted to say and making more money anyway so who produced that i it started my first one was on abc and then i did mbc the same show went from one network to the other. How weird was that? And it got canceled. And then I thought, look, I'm just a comic. And I was happy. I was happy being a comic.

I didn't care if I did TV. And so I'm like, if I'm just going to be a comic, I'm going to let my kids grow up around their family. I'll just move back to Atlanta and I'll be on the road. Sure. That's what Nate did. That's what a lot of dudes are doing. Yeah. And so I had people out here that are going, you're killing your career.

You'll never, well. They don't understand when you just want to be a comic. Yeah. Well, they don't. Yeah. Like, that's not enough. But to me, and still to this day, I think being a comic's the greatest job in the world. Yeah.

It's better than being a TV star or a movie star. Yeah. It's less work. Yeah. Well, it's weirder. It's we a movie star yeah it's it's less work yeah well it's weirder it's weirder you don't know what kind of cojones do we have to go up and grab a mic and think what we have to say i know is worthy of everybody's attention i know yeah and then like and if you're me you know they're expecting something that i resent them for that so like i always started odds a little bit.

That's my style. That's how I developed it. What do you want? Yeah. But I'm pretty funny lately. I like it when I go because I'm not even taking an opener right now. I'll go out and do an hour and a half, two hours. But see, I don't want an opener. I'm like, if I'm going to go to all this trouble to get here, I like being on stage.

I want to talk. And also, it's like, it's my show. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, if you got the time, just do it. But see, I think that's really cool that at this point in your career that you go, I'm pretty funny right now. Yeah.

Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Thank God. It only took 30 years. No, but you know it. You're cocky enough to know it. I do know it. You're pretty funny right now. I do know it right now. But all it takes is one show, Jeff but you know it. You're cocky enough to know it. I do know it.

You're pretty funny right now. I do know it right now, but all it takes is one show, Jeff. Oh, yeah, you're right, right? Oh, God, yeah. Some nights I'll say to my wife, I still got it. Then the next night I'm like, eh, maybe I should just hang it up. I don't know. Yeah, I think I'm done.

And then you get one new joke. You're like, I'm back here. I'm back. Yeah, exactly. So now when the hook happened, were you like, you know, yes. You know, I was lucky because I had an upward trajectory, but it wasn't steep. It was kind of steady. So after the TV show, you're just a stand up.

Yeah. And I'm writing the redneck books. Oh, yeah, yeah tv show you're just a stand-up yeah i mean i'm writing the redneck books and oh yeah yeah and you're already doing the blue collar thing that's now that started in when did we start blue collar mike like around i moved back to atlanta in 97 we started blue collar like 2001 or something yeah that's big you make guys made money but we never saw it coming mark well we had uh our first gig was in omaha yeah and we had all we had all taken three months and said we'll do this for three months yeah and we ended up doing the first one for three years we had no idea it was good but but i remember the the guys that were promoting it they wanted some big production number at the end where we all four came out and sang a stupid song or did something.

And I always tell people this. I'm not just a comic. I'm a fan of comedy. Well, as a fan of the Carol Burnett show, I used to love it when they made each other laugh. Right. And I said, can we do the opposite? And you're just trusting your instinct.

I said, instead of doing something big, can we just bring stools out and just try to make each other laugh? Right, right. And they're like, well, I don't know if it'll work or not. And you couldn't practice it, you know. Of course it's going to work. You got Ron and Whitney out there. Yeah.

And so that first night, we got 9,000 people. And I get to the end. I was fourth up. And so I get to the end of my thing and said, hey, why don't the other guys back and they came out and we do our little thing and at the end of it 9 000 people stood up and we looked at each other and went holy shit you know what have we stumbled on yeah yeah just the chemistry yeah yeah and we were having a blast sure you know it's fun when you just you know as you know the the only negative thing about being a stand-up is half the time you're on the road by yourself. Right.

And so this, you were hanging out with your buddies. Yeah, that's funny. And everybody's like, you know, how often was everybody like, where's Ron? Every day. In fact, I was like the dad of the group. So I would tell Ron when we had two shows, I'm like, the first show, you got to mix Coke and Sprite together in your glass. Because if you didn't, you couldn't understand him during the second show. Oh, man.

So you had to do the fake booze. Yeah, the fake booze in the first show. And he would do it? He'd do it. He'd do it for me. He loves me. Anybody else, he'd have told him to stick it. But no, he'd do it for me.

Because you don't want to get him too loopy. Heffy. He's always called me Heffy. I'll do it for you. Yeah. That's great. So, all right. What about this show with the fifth grader thing?

What's it called? Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader. Now, is this something you did for fun? Is this something that sounded like a fun thing now is this something you did for fun like is this something like sounded like a fun thing to do i got because you did it for a while i got i did it for like five or six years uh martin burnett called me he said would you have any interest in doing a game show and i said nope too cheesy yeah that was my first right and i said what's the premise he said adults taking an elementary school test for a shot at a million bucks.

And I started laughing. I said, you know what? Actually, that's brilliant. Yeah. Because everybody's going to think they can do it. Right. And I'm like, all right, I'll do it. But what I liked about it, as opposed to doing a sitcom, was you could stack them.

You could go shoot a bunch of them at one time yeah yeah and and and i got a tuesday that whole next week yeah yeah and so i went out and auditioned for it and they gave it to me and i actually enjoyed it i mean it was but i was i was shooting when we were doing the half hour syndicated version i was shooting eight a day yeah i'm like let's just get it over with let's run them through the thing and then let me go do stand-up yeah so i mean that was something i never saw coming but i kind of enjoyed because it'd still be funny i could still kind of mess with people i could still be funny and i could still do my stand-up so when you were building this special what's your process i mean like you know you're not are you doing small rooms are you doing 15 minute sets are you just going out

and adding you know stuff on how do you build an-minute sets? Are you just going out and adding stuff on? How do you build an hour? I got the Netflix approach me about doing it. Well, I knew. I said, all right, the only way I can make myself write a new hour is I've just got to say I'm not doing any of the material I've been doing ever again. Exactly. And you got a job. Yeah.

And so now you got a job. And I said, that's it. Not doing it. And started doing the note cards and started going to clubs on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday night and literally holding them up going, is this funny? So you go on the Laughing Skull? Yes. Oh, yeah. With note cards in hand.

So you go to an 80-seater and just kind of figure it out. Yeah. That's the way to do it. There's no other way to do it. I'll get a black box theater and just riff. I'll i'll let people know what's up and you know and fill it up with my fans and i'll say like we'll do an hour or so and see what sticks you know what i do i get three boxes one of them says gold one says silver and the other one says certificate of appearance and i get up there with my cards and i'm like, hey, what about this? And if it gets a big laugh, it goes in gold.

If it gets a kind of a chuckle, it would go in silver. If it dies, it goes in certificate of appearance. So it's a theatrical presentation. You've got the boxes. But the thing that so fascinates me about stand-up is after 38 years, I still don't know what's going to work and what doesn't. Yeah. How can you really? And that's what makes her fascinating.

to work and what doesn't yeah it's how can you really and that's what makes her fascinating that's because if you said to me before we walked in hey pick the four cards that are going to work the best yeah i'd be dead wrong on two of them right well i don't even write cards i have outlines of things and i do it through talking yeah so like and a lot of my writing happens on stage so when it when it happens for me like i have to corner myself into a situation where i have to be funny to get out so when something's delivered to me it's literally like where did that come from wow do you know like how do you what do you gen run off stage and start writing it down well i do and i just keep repeating yeah yeah until it's but it all sort of organizes itself on stage so it's almost like the muse or whatever it is like it comes out of the air

and i've become kind of fascinated with that i know it's my head sort of but it's almost like the muse or whatever it is like it comes out of the air and i've become kind of fascinated with that i know it's my head sort of but it's in that moment where like you know i know i got a funny idea but i don't know where it goes and i'll do the funny idea and in that moment where you have to be funny yeah it'll come out at some point and you won't oh and you're going where the hell did that exactly and that's the exciting part and that is the exciting part is when you you're taking something you're like I don't know what to do with this. Yeah, you just remind me. Like, I did something last night.

I've got to. Write it down. Yeah. This is the story of my life. Note cards and notebooks with things scribbled on it. It was just a funny moment about, you know, like, not knowing what woke is. Like, what does woke really mean? And then, like, when somebody's anti-woke and you're talking to them, the idea is, like, moment about you know like not knowing what woke is like what does woke really mean and and then

like when somebody's anti-woke and you're talking to them the idea is like so so you're the you're the not woke oh well then then i'm definitely yeah i don't even know what i am anymore right right but it's sort of like i know i'm not like you whatever that is but i don't know how to frame so when you when you go to do a new one, I mean, you're committing yourself to a year of hard work. Totally, totally. That's what I did. Well, I don't know about you,

but during the pandemic, I had moments where I was like, I don't even miss it. And then I got booked on the New York Comedy Festival. So from the day we could start working again out here to November, I was just like,

I got to do a whole new hour. I got to figure it out. So I booked a residency at Dynasty Typewriter, small theater, every Tuesday and just hammering out. Comedy store, hammering out. And I don't know where it comes from, Jeff. And you never know if you can do it again. You don't.

That's the weirder thing. That's the scary thing about it. Right. It's scary. Right. You're like, I don't know if I can. I don't know if I got it in me. And then you just start. But you thing about it. Right. It's scary. Right. You're like, I don't know if I can, I don't know if I got it in me. And then you just start.

But you've done it how many times when you really look at it? It doesn't matter, though, does it? Well, every time, you know, I've done like seven or eight albums. So every time you do an album, you're starting from scratch. Exactly. But you don't think of it that way for some reason. It's like you were saying, you feel like the new guy all the time. Because every time you start that process again, you're like, I don't know if I can do it.

How is that? and you feel like the new guy all the time because every time you start that process again, you're like, I don't know if I can do it. Or do you have like one little piece of it that you cannot make it work and you're like, crap, I know this is funny and I cannot make it work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then one night on stage, something just comes out of your mouth and it gets a big laugh and you're like,

holy hell, it just worked. That's my whole process. Yeah. That's the only way I can do it. Wow. But that's the good part. Yeah. That's the only way I can do it. Wow. But that's the good part. Yeah. Oh, there's no better feeling in the world.

Right. It's not the polished end thing. No, it's better than an orgasm. You're like, oh, yeah. Oh, this is awesome. When you walk off and you're like, and no one would even know which moment it was. No. Because it's usually one moment.

Like, you know, you've got jokes that work. But you're laying in the bed that night going, it worked. Where'd that come from? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God. Thank God. But that's the other thing. I have to assume,

because I've done a little homework on you, not much, but your faith has gotten you through in a lot of ways? No, I mean, it's just always kind of been there. Always been there. Yeah. But like in dark times,

but do you feel like, do you hold it responsible for, for the being? Cause you didn't get screwed up. You got a nice woman. You got, you know what I mean? Has it always been right like well okay well sure i want to work so but you don't strike me as an uh a fundamentally dirty guy no i mean like if that's what you are that's what you're going to be right right even in the new special you know you take it right up to the edge with porn you don't go too far but that's always the guy i've been i walk right up to the edge like my mother used to say if I told you not to cross a line, you would walk right up to it and balance on one foot over it, but you wouldn't go over it. Right. And I can feel it with your audience, right? Because I can feel like, you know, you know right where you got to stop. And they wouldn't, they would be disappointed if I went over it, I think.

No, I think so, too. They'd be like, well, that got a little, you know. You know, but it's like with my faith i well i mean it's faith it's like you either believe we're an accident or that we were created right right right and so i mean that's pretty which side of the fence are you on well right i think we're pretty amazingly complicated to just be an accident and so i'm like okay we were created well if we were why well we had to be created with some kind of purpose i think mine was to do this this was my gift i think this is your gift this is some people they're good at wiping old people's asses you know that's their gift

well you know what you know i think a lot of people are gonna have to do that whether it's their gift or not yeah right but but so but you know i i'm not one of those people if if what i believe makes me be kinder to you yeah be kinder to my wife right be more accepting of other people then how can you look at it and go that's a bad thing oh no and i'm i'm not here to judge but it's just so funny because i you know the way i work if if what i'm doing it makes me kinder better to other people better my wife is usually because i i really did a bad job it's not because i learned some lesson yeah from the from the bible it's because i got a lot of hurt people back there yeah right well that was my dad you know he was married six times and yeah he just couldn't keep his pants zipped and every time he unzipped him the world blew up and he just

kept walking you know so is he still around no he died in a car wreck in 99 but he was a carrier he was funny though yeah he must have been he was funny he could yeah he could talk to women yeah he was good sounds Sounds like it. Do you have a lot of step-siblings? No, I actually don't, but you would think that I would. But he didn't last that long? No. And he used to be like a deacon in the church.

In fact, I think he got – Wow. When my little brother was born, I think he got caught in bed with a church organist or something. He was a player. I mean, when you're doing that in the church yeah well you know those a lot of those guys yeah but yeah and he left you know they got divorced when i was like eight or something sounds like it was probably better off so for me yeah for growing up without a dad, it became like once I had kids, it was very important for me to not let that happen. Sure. So even though I had a job that was taking me on the road, I was paying to go home that night so I could get there and take my kids to school the next day.

That was the priority. And so that probably kept me out of a lot of trouble. Sure. Sure. Responsibility. Yeah. And honoring it well having kids change i i tell people the day my first kid was born that's the day i became

responsible yeah and they turn out okay they're great okay they're great congratulations yeah got a new special you got good kids a new grandson yeah my. Yeah, my kids even want me to live close to them. They're both like nine minutes away. Well, yeah, that's because they want you to babysit. Don't be fooled. And I do. All right, man. Well, it was certainly great to catch up.

It's been a while. Yeah, man. It's been, what, 35 years? But it thrills me because I know you're one of these guys. We can't help it. This is the thing that, this is the gift we were given. And it's like, what are you going to do with it? But to see you do so well with it and be successful with it and be like, yeah, that's cool.

Well, thank you. And I think the older we get, comic minds understand each other. Look at comics. It's like we're a secret society we are we're like some weird brotherhood even the fact that like you know whatever it is however anyone judges us or however it does the fact that you know you

and Ron White are on the road like we there's a tolerance and an acceptance and a weird understanding we all have even the worst of us than the best of us we know all the different kinds we do but there's still you know but people ask me who's the funniest person you've ever known i say ron white of course yeah i he's right up there with me too oh my god he's made the funniest just naturally funny but he's also the guy where

you're like how is he still alive yeah yeah Do you want him to marry your daughter? Hell no. But God, is he funny. Oh, God. You just tell me how he fucked up the last marriage. And I was like, dude. He marries them all. I'm like, Ron, just date. Yeah.

Just date. What's going on with this? He's still got that ceramic business down in Mexico? Yeah, I think the ceramic business. I still got one of his ceramic pots from that business is he in the tequila business still he's still in the tequila business

say hi to him I will buddy nice talking to you thank you for having me yeah absolutely oh and by the way that whatever however much shit

you had to go through whatever aggravation that you had to go through to get that last story on that special on the new special what was it what's the special called again

it's called the good old days the good old days that last story it was worth, on the new special. What was it? What's the special called again? It's called The Good Old Days. The Good Old Days. That last story is worth it. It's worth it. Thank you. Yes, sir. That was Jeff Foxworthy. Nice guy. And the new special is called

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