WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 1407 - Wayne Brady

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

Wayne Brady is making himself happy again when he’s performing. He makes other people happy hosting Let’s Make a Deal and being part of Whose Line Is It Anyway?, but only in recent years does Wayne feel like he’s combatting his depression and anxiety in a way that lets him enjoy his job. Wayne and Marc talk about the roots of those issues, as well as his early life in Orlando, playing Goofy and Tigger at Disney World, and that Chappelle’s Show sketch. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated

category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Death is in our air. This year's most anticipated series, FX's Shogun, only on Disney+. We live and we die we control nothing beyond that

an epic saga based on the global best-selling novel by James Clavel to show your true heart is to risk your life when I die here you'll never leave

Japan alive FX's Shogun a new original series streaming February 27th exclusively on Disney Plus 18 plus subscription required T's and C's apply.

Lock the gates! All right, let's do this. How are you, what the fuckers? What the fuck, buddies? What the fuck, Knicks? What's going on? I'm Mark Maron. This is my podcast.

Special's coming out on the 11th. Pretty exciting. I should be on The Tonight Show Friday. And then I'm doing some other event at the 92nd Street Y on Friday night. But it's at MoMA. Here we go. Mark Maron in conversation with MTV News' Josh Horowitz. Is MTV still on?

So that's going to be on Friday night, this Friday night. That's the 10th. You can go to WTFpod.com slash tour for tickets if you're in New York and you want those. I'll be on The Best Show with Sharpling on Tuesday. Making the rounds. Rumor has it I'll be talking to Terry Gross. I guess it's time. It's time to have that.

What is it? My third chat over there. I think there's some meat on this one to discuss the special and how I handle certain topics. You know, it's good. It's good. Did I mention that Wayne Brady is here today. Wayne Brady, you know him from Whose Line Is It Anyway? He hosted his own talk show. He's the current host of Let's Make a Deal. He's been on Broadway. He's a recording artist. He's an actor who was most

recently on American Gigolo. Incredibly talented guy. And he tends to be the brunt of jokes sometimes. And we talk about that because it's caused him a lot of grief a lot of pain a lot of sadness it hurts man it's hurt it hurts when your peers talk shit about you i know this as a guy who's been talking shit who's been who's been talked about and i know this as a guy who has talked some shit. I've been on both sides of that one, bullied and bully. Who hasn't? So I'm at Whole Foods. I'm walking out to my car and I hit my key fob, which is a word you don't usually use, but you know, it's called that. I hit the button on my fob. Yeah. And my car goes beep whatever it does i don't even know i know where it is i hear

the noise i see the car about 30 feet out and a woman's you know coming around the corner and she sees that i'm hitting my fob and my car is in her sight and she's gonna stop there and wait for me to pull out so she can take the space and i'm walking with my bag and a guy pulls up behind her and just goes, Hey, come on, come on. What the fuck? Come on. Honks his horn. This guy's window open. And I stop and I say, dude, she's just waiting for my space. He's going. And then this guy says, fuck you. And I went, I'm just telling you. And he goes, fuck you. And I don't know why, but for some reason I said, attaboy.

What? Attaboy. Diplomatic, not too offensive. Could be button pushing, but not just cowering away. Attaboy. Walked to my car with that feeling on my back That there's a guy that wants to punch for no reason Not far behind me And then he backs off

He backs his car up angrily And as he's driving off he goes Pussy! And look, I mean come on People, I'm a 59'm a 59-year-old man And It totally landed It hit me right in the guts

Right in my heart You know, depending on who you are In high school A well-focused Pussy With the right inflection Goes right in And just throws you into a quandary about your masculinity.

Pussy! I'm there holding my bag, getting in my car, spiraling a little bit like, oh man, am I a pussy? I'm not a pussy. This doesn't even matter. What is a pussy? It's not even correct. I'm not a pussy. I'm all right.

Spiraling a little bit. And then, you know, negotiating with myself. It's like, come on, dude, you're old. I mean, you really going to get worked up? You know, landed right in my goddamn heart bag. Pussy! But then I thought, like, look, man look man you know i'm a button pusher i'm a smart ass i do comedy i you know i'm not afraid to start shit i've been lucky but you know you gotta you gotta weigh that shit out man is it better for me just to get in my car and be like, am I a pussy? Would you stop it?

You're a grown ass man. You know, you've, you've been a pussy. You've been not a pussy. There's a lot, you know what I mean? Having that happen in my head,

is that better than me just rolling the dice? And after he said, fuck you, I said, no, fuck you. And then he jumps out of his car and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, please, please. I'm going to get my phone. I'm taking a picture of you. I'm taking

a picture of you. Do I want to be that guy? The guy that's like holding his face as a car peels away and strangers scramble around me and go, are you okay? Are you okay? Should we call the cops? I'm going to call the cops. Should we call a hospital? Are you okay? Did anyone get his license plate?

No, no, no, man. I had him. I had him. He just didn't give me a shot. He just didn't give me a shot. I had him. Drive away with a swollen eye, just under my breath saying, you fucking pussy. Once you learn to fight, you pussy. I started wondering about that guy. Then I tried to take

after the parking lot incident, I tried to take the high road in my mind and I absorbed the pussy thrown at me and just thought like, well, you know, that guy seems like he's got something going on. Something's not right with that fella. I don't know what he's angry about, but it probably wasn't me. I hope that guy's okay. I hope he know what he's angry about, but it probably wasn't me. I hope that

guy's okay. I hope he doesn't hurt himself or somebody else. I hope that guy's okay. If we had had a minute, maybe we could have talked it out, maybe had lunch, maybe discussed masculinity in a more appropriate way. Who knows? I hope that guy's all right. way. Who knows? I hope that guy's all right. So Wayne Brady is here and it was kind of an intense talk in some ways and I was happy to do it. He's a very, you know, he's like everyone knows Wayne Brady. He's been around forever. He's always lit up and does good work and he's funny and quick, lit up and does good work, and he's funny and quick, engaged. But he's taken a couple of hits, man. He hosts Let's Make a Deal, which airs weekdays on CBS Affiliates.

You can also watch it on Paramount+. Whose Line Is It Anyway returns for its 20th and final season on March 31st. He's been doing that forever. And this is me talking to Wayne Brady. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know

we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Death is in our air. and ACAS Creative. To show your true heart is to risk your life. When I die here, you'll never leave Japan alive.

FX's Shogun, a new original series streaming February 27th exclusively on Disney+. 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. I went to Topanga the other day. Oh, that's beautiful up there. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. But then I went to a coffee shop in Topanga, and you realize, like, oh, this is who lives here. Yes. But it's a thing. It's a very specific person that if you live in Topanga, just know what you're getting and know who you're around.

Yeah, you got to buy a hat, like a large kind of hipster hat. You got to wear cardigans. Sure. You have to appear to be doing the big thinking and the art. And you love the environment. Sure. I mean, it's exactly right for me. But do you want to be one of those people? Do you want to be recognized as someone that you yourself would make fun of? Yeah. That's the constant battle. I know. I, you know, it's a, I know I got this special coming out and like, there's definitely, there's, there's a few versions of me as a funny person

and I don't always land, you know, like I, and I, and I separated them. I'm like, this is me being angry about the world. Right. This is me being the regular sad guy. And this is me being a little lighthearted, but they're, they're very distinct voices. Well, they all live in the same place. Right. And they borrow from, from each other. Right. But I mean, like as a guy who like improvises, like you, and I noticed this also about, you ever watch Bamford? You ever watch Maria? Oh, I love her. I've been a fan of hers since she, like back in the day.

She's still like so strong, dude. I just worked with her in Vancouver. We were in the same venue and we were kind of headlining the same venue and we were flipping, you know, shows each night. And she's still like great and better than ever with that stuff. But the point is, is like when you are able to kind of move through a lot of different voices, you can kind of give all your emotions, uh, different characters. Absolutely. And luckily we're in the business that we're in that you can do that because I don't know how a, you know, civilian or regular person deals with those pieces of themselves.

We at least have an outlet that I know that if I'm pissed off and I just want to be funny, I can do a set at night someplace and do a thing or I can write something. Right. And then I can be jovial and happy and give people cars on let's make a deal and do that thing or I can do. So I can address all that yeah yeah you can address the full spectrum of uh all the insanity because if not i don't know where i would be right now i honestly don't know well i i mean well i mean what you do i think by nature comedically i obviously you do a lot of stuff. You've really figured out a way. You know, it's weird that, that somebody, uh, uh, takes responsibility for their talent as well as you have.

That's a beautiful, wow. Well, that's a, that's a fairly new thing that, that I thought, I thought about that to, to a degree that because I, because I teach, teach sometimes and I give these workshops. On what? On acting and then improvisational acting or musical theater, depending on the venue or using improv in the business place. Like there's a lot of stuff. Sure. So, and I get the question of, well, how did you know that you wanted to either, how did you know you wanted to be on Whose Line?

Or how did you know you wanted to be on Broadway? How did you know you wanted? I said, I didn't. Yeah. I was lucky enough that I found that I had something in me when I was in high school. And I was like, oh, I want to use this. And what do I do? Yeah.

I just want to do everything. Yeah. So I just went out and did it. Whatever was presented in front of me, I did it. But you did show not to destroy yourself. Because a lot of talented people are like, I'm talented. I'm going to use it to destroy myself. Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, I just wanted to, like I said, look, God, I'll make a deal with you. Yeah.

Just let me work. Like I was really specific. And now in hindsight, I should have gone over that contract and said, oh, thank you. But let me have some sort of discernment. But I said, just let me work. And I did from the time that I was a kid. And it wasn't until later in life that I went, you know, maybe some sort of straight ahead plan would have been good. Like I've gotten a chance to do so many things under the sun. But I look at my daughter who is an actress and she has goals. She's turning 20 and she's like,

this is what I want to do. She's like, I'm a writer. She's a great writer. She's like, I want to write and be on SNL. Like that's one goal. And I want to be on Broadway. And these are the shows that I want to do. And I want to develop this material.

And I'm doing this this way. And this is my path. This is your daughter. And I went, oh, you're so fucking cool. Yeah. How old is she? She's turning 20 next week. You didn't know that.

But also, I think the combination of, I mean, I don't know exactly where you come from. Where do you come from? From Orlando, Florida. Not a comedic hotbed. Yeah. You grew up there? I grew up there. I make them, they get mad at me because I talk shit about Orlando without really knowing about it.

Is it an okay place? Well, what do you say about Orlando and I'll say yay or nay? Well, I just, like, I talked out my ass in the sense that, like, I was only there for a few days and I was working at, you know, at the Hard Rock or whatever. So I didn't get a sense. That's all you needed. See, you said it, not me. And I'm not being a dick about it because I grew up in Orlando. So I feel that I've earned the right to say this. Yeah. Well, you're going to have some, uh, some bitter morning DJs after you. There's nothing looking for juice. I loved Orlando for, for me personally, for, for my journey, it was an amazing place to get started because I started off as a singer-dancer.

Comedy was light years away from my mind. Where are your people from? My people people are from St. Thomas and St. Croix in the U.S. Virgin Islands on my dad's side. Oh, yeah? And they're from Columbus, Georgia on my mom's side. Okay. Good mix. Yeah.

Yeah. So I was raised, my grandmother raised me. So I was given a traditional Island upbringing. Really? It's very strict. And my dad was in the military. So very strict upbringing. Yeah. Relationship with everybody. My father's passed away and my grandmother passed away, but until she passed away last year, that was my girl. Oh yeah. Your mom. My mom is in my life now. She didn't raise me, but you know, we don't have a, she's an amazing woman. So we have a relationship now.

And that just kind of happened? Yeah, it just kind of happened the past few years. Really? And I'm so blessed, man. I love that lady. And she's so awesome. Why did it take so long? Because we, because I wasn't raised by her.

You know, families have a, each family has a history. And sometimes you you have to become an adult to wade through the shit to find out what it was because like a rashomon yeah everybody's got their own version of the truth yeah so the version that i was presented in a nutshell was that my father when he left for nam wanted me to be raised in a responsible household because my mother's folks from the from uh from georgia you know crime in the family didn't want me to be raised in that environment uh so my grandmother was going to be my steward and protect me and raise me the whole nine and your mom signed

off on that and she signed off on it but you're talking about a 17 year old girl right who now that i look at it and I'm not talking shit about my father or my grandmother because they're out here to defend themselves. I feel she was probably bullied and scared. Yeah. And so when someone is, and my dad was GI Joe, my dad was,

was, was roadblock from, from GI Joe. Yeah. So when that dude who is, and very smart. Yeah. So of course it's like, look, this is what's best for you and best for me.

And this is what it is. And my family knows better when you're told that. And she goes, oh, well, okay. Yeah. Well, it's only for a little while. And then I'm raised by, by my grandmother and a little while became my whole life. And she didn't come around. She came around, but now I realized she was pushed back.

Oh yeah. And then the narrative that I had was this lady didn't come around? She came around, but now I realized she was pushed back. Oh, yeah. And then the narrative that I had was this lady didn't want you. So when she did come around later, I was like, lady, I don't need you. Oh, yeah. And definitely don't come around now that I'm on TV. Don't do that shit. Don't do it. So I had a narrative forced upon me.

And as you get older, also with or without narrative and with your own experience, you naturally, you let things go. Absolutely. I mean, you know, what are you holding on to, right? And why are you holding on to it? That's a good question. And it wasn't until later that I realized the things that I needed. It was when I became a father. Uh-huh.

When I became a dad. 20 years ago. Yes. Beautiful 20 years ago. Yeah. It hit me like a ton of bricks that there were things in my life that I needed and I needed, and I could no longer have, but I needed a relationship with my dad, which I didn't have. I needed a relationship with my mother. Did you get the one with your dad?

Kind of, you know, afterschool specialists in, in, in a way, um, after I made the decision that I was going to act yeah i don't know if you know very many people from from the virgin islands or jamaican or any island folk the work ethic yeah is insane yeah and i think just like a lot of uh asian families or any culture that has a very immigrant mentality of we came here for your betterment so you need to do dot dot dot do better than us you need to do better than us because look what we've here for your betterment. So you need to do dot, dot, dot. Do better than us. You need to do better than us because look what we've done for you.

So the expectation was Wayne was going to be insert lawyer, doctor, architect, whatever the thing was. Sure. And my dad had degrees out the ass. He did? He was an engineer. So he was in the army core of engineering. He was basically a battle engineer.

You know, the guys that build the bridges and, and defend them as things, things were happening. So dad has degrees. My aunt has degrees. She's smart, but why can't you?

So what are you going to do? Well, I'm not, I don't think I'm going to accept these scholarships and I just want to act. You want to do what? Yeah. I just want to act. You want to do what? Yeah, I just want to be on stage. You want to jump up and down and make nonsense? I said, but I'm really good at this.

I'm really good. Jump up and down and make nonsense. Jump up and down and make nonsense. You got to put a CD out called that. Jump up and down. And so I made a deal with her. I said, look, I'm not going to go to. Who, your grandma?

Yeah. I said, I'm not going to go to a four-year university right now, but I'll make a deal with you. I will accept this little scholarship that I got from a wonderful guy in school that passed away and they established a fund in his name, Anthony Solomon. And I'll use the money to go to Valencia Community College there in Orlando. Give me a semester. Yeah. If I don't have a job, if I'm not making real money. Doing entertainment.

As a performer. Yeah. I will stop and I'll go wherever you want, I promise. And within that first semester, I was working at Walt Disney World as a character and a singer dancer at night. So I was goofy during the day and Tigger in the parades and doing some, some of their shows as a singer. And I got a couple of plays and I was able to go on tour.

So you started like, so you, uh, you have siblings. Yeah. One sister. Well, I have two half sisters that I love and, and my sister Kimberly lives in Texas with my mom. Oh, okay. But so no one grew up in the house with you? Just you and your grandmother?

Kimberly and I grew up together a little bit, but for the most part, it was just the two of us. What's the first time that you realized you've got the gift? That I was doing an industrial film. In Florida? Yeah. And I don't even know if anybody... You know, that's why I say that Orlando was great. I did every single weird-ass gig, but I was always in show business and I don't know if they still do industrial films, but I was doing one. Uh, and I met this, um, lady, her, her name is Claire Sarah. She's, she's now turned into a very accomplished screen screenwriter and I was doing an industrial film with her and I thought she was cute, so I was being an 18-year-old asshole.

I was like, hey, you're hot. And she was like, oh, that's a nice little boy. I'm a married woman. But I think you're funny. I was like, you think I'm funny? Yeah, you should come to an improv class that I'm teaching with my husband. Improv, what's that?

He goes, it's spontaneous theater, and you make things up. I was like, oh, you mean the stuff that I've been doing in my room for the past 18 years because I don't have any friends goes on it's spontaneous theater and you make things up it's like oh you mean the stuff that i've been doing in my room for the past 18 years because i don't have any friends because my grandmother kept me isolated from the world she did oh my god dude i never trick-or-treated in my life was it a religious thing no she just felt that the world was gonna kill me and but but how did that affect? I mean,

you didn't have any friends. How was it? I had some friends, but I, I, I was the weird kid that, that was in his house. Like,

let's put it this way on Halloween. Yeah. She didn't let me wear a costume, but she let me wear the mask of the thing from the fantastic four. Yeah. So I had a mask on giving kids, giving kids candy. All the kids that i went to school with

came to my house ding dong candy yeah it's like i'm the thing yeah bitch you ain't the thing you're wayne but i'm the thing no i so ridiculed and you know all of that good stuff but her heart was in the right place you're like she said you have to be bullied. I was bullied, but I think that I come from the generation and I think I'm like 10 years younger than you. So I come from the generation where we were bullied and this is not a defensive bully because I am anti-bully. But we were bullied in a way

that everybody thought it was okay. It was weird. The teachers and everybody was like, ah, bullying, that'll make him stronger. Everybody gets bullied. Yeah, but they also knew that the kids who did it were a pain in the ass, but I think their hands were tied.

Maybe their hands were tied. I did not like it, and that's why today I don't take shit because I was bullied. And the thing that was always said was, boys will be boys. Yeah. What were you bullied for? I was bullied. And the thing that was always said was boys will be boys. Yeah. What were you bullied for? I was bullied for, I had an accent because I was raised in the house with my grandmother and my grandfather and everybody. So I had a St. Tomian accent, which was different than

the other kids in the neighborhood. Did you have to intentionally get rid of that? I had to intentionally, once I realized that I talked differently and it was a thing, I went, oh, I need to not. But it was always the thing of either I'm and it didn't help that my grandmother, when I was younger, she dressed me like a little black Lord Fauntleroy. My outfits were always matching little goranimals. You know, I was looking good. Yeah. But.

Not cool. But not. Yeah, but not good. Yeah. But. Not cool. But not, yeah, but not cool. Yeah. And so, so from that, from just being, being the kid that never got to go outside, if people wanted to come over and play, they had to play in my yard. Yeah. I wasn't able to ride a bike until I was 13.

So I used to sneak out of the house to ride a bike. She very, very disciplined. Sheltered. And sheltered. And now I appreciate that to a degree because if it wasn't for her and nerd as I may be, she, she really made sure that I read and not just read,

but that's where my appreciation for show business, because I watched a lot of PBS because that's what he had. So I grew up on, on all the old comics and all the old Broadway stuff, Monty Python, um, old Sammy Davis, Jr. Oh yeah. Ernie Kovacs. Monty Python. Um, old Sammy Davis, Jr.

Oh yeah. Ernie Kovacs. Yeah. Sure. That, that I guarantee you that I am the only brother in comedy in my knowledge that was raised on watching Danny Kaye. Yeah.

Watching all these old black and white sitcoms, but still appreciated the cats like red Fox. I would stay up and listen to his, his records and, and, uh, and when I would stay up and listen to his records. When you were a kid? And Richard Pryor. Oh, yes. So she let you do that?

She didn't let me do that. That was Black Market. I had to go and sneak that from, I had a bus driver who gave me tapes. A school bus driver? A school bus driver. He's like, you're funny, listen to this. Who got me hooked on old school comedy and hip hop. huh so she she was my drug dealer thank god for that yep she

she gave me the good stuff you need one of those people you need somebody that sees something goes because she she saw that i was always getting the shit you know kick kicked out of me and so she told me look you you better learn to fight and you've got to stand up for yourself and learn to push back. So we would, you know, play the dozens as we used to call it and talk about your mama, this and my mama, that. And I would jump in and they would talk about my mama and I'd talk about their mama. And I learned that that was the thing to do. But the creativity that went into that. And then we started freestyling in the back of the bus.

And everybody wanted to do rhymes about folks' mamas and stuff. And that just came naturally to me. So all of that was this beautiful little confluence of events that I discovered comedy. I discovered hip hop. And so I discovered my funny, but I kept it to myself except on the bus until that day when I met Claire and she invited me to an improv workshop and it changed my life. It sounds like you were ready to go. I was ready to go. Cause I was ready to get the hell out. But what'd you learn in the improv class right away? Right away. I learned that I already had a lot of the tools just from,

you know, and some people come by it naturally. Yeah. I had the imagination because I only had myself to play with for many years and I read. So I would take all of the stuff that I could cram into my brain and, and I did all the characters and voices myself. So I had that. And could you do impressions? I, I started doing impressions just by virtue of listening to my friends speak or a teacher. And because I was a singer, I could hear things and I could copy it. And then this is before you got the job at Disney?

You start doing things? This is right after. So I got Disney and then I started doing this. How did you get the Disney job? I auditioned for it. There's no real skill in being cast as a costumed character at Disney. Sorry to break dreams. When I auditioned for it, they have you do a jazz square and then you either are the right fit,

the right height, that if you're six foot tall or more, you can be goofy. If you're five foot 10 ish, you can be Tigger. Oh, really? That's it? And they just- And you just got to dance around? You just got to dance around. But even doing that, that helped with the improvisation. Because I would create these scenes with other people and say, hey, look, I'll be Tigger. And if we're going to do it in Fantasyland, and I was working with Peter Pan and Geppetto and somebody else. This was at the park you were doing this with guys?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so like, here's a story. Yeah. Let's act out Star Wars. No one will know that we're doing Star Wars except us. But I'm going to be Luke and you be Darth and somebody else. And we're just going to act it out in the crowd using the audience members. And nobody will know, but it'll make the day pass.

Yeah. And so we would just do that and do scenarios. Yeah. And so I didn't even know that I was doing improvisation yet. Sure. But I knew I was having fun. Just battling boredom. Battling boredom.

And that's a good book title. That's how we spent a lot of my years because I realized that what separated me from a lot of my buddies, buddies in air quotes, because they didn't like me, from a lot of the cats in the neighborhood that got into trouble

and later on went on to crime or went on to jail is I'm not special. I just, A, had a grandmother who watched me like a hawk. And B, I found a way in my neighborhood to battle the boredom that is all consuming that makes other people go, you know what? I'm bored. I think I'm going to rob that house. Yeah. Or angry. Or angry.

Yeah. And my anger came out in different ways. I kind of sat on it until later in life. But thank goodness for being able to channel the anger into creativity. Right. And I kept that to myself. I kept it to myself until I was ready.

I mean, your grandmother was overprotective, but there must have been some sort of like that. That voice you put inside your head when your parents are either negligent or gone is self-critical. Right. You know, because you got on some level, you start to believe it's your fault. And that you're not good enough because if you were, obviously your parents would have wanted to be in your life. Right. Yeah. And so you put in this voice in your head because you can't blame them because you're too young to think of them as anything but amazing.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. And that's how I thought about my dad. And that's how I thought about my dad. So once I started acting in earnest and I started booking my first, I think I was like 19, I booked a role on the old show in the heat of the night. And I did a two parter and I was hired by Carol O'Connor himself who directed the episode. So that's just like, that was already ridiculously cool. And then I got a recurring role on this NBC show called I'll Fly Away. So this was a few years after graduation. And we shot that in Conyers, Georgia, which was close to where my dad had retired to. So I hadn't spoken to my dad in a while. So while we were shooting, I was able to say, dad, I want to come up to your house. And he said, oh, son, come on up. And he'd already seen a couple of the commercials.

You know, I landed a couple national spots. So we saw my Burger King commercial and all this other stuff. And he's like, son, I'm so proud of you. And we sat down and we actually had a beer. Yeah. And we were talking and he was telling his buddies about me. And that was one of the most amazing moments. So that's a very treasured memory that day that I have with him

because shortly after that, I moved. I got married and I saw him one more time and then I moved to Las Vegas on my way to Los Angeles and that's when he passed away. So we had the promise of getting ready to know each other as men. Right. And I never had that with him. And,

uh, you know, that was always something I think that stuck with me and still, still does to this day, which is, thank God you had that beer. Oh man. Wow.

Yeah. That was very cool. After all those years of worrying whether or not he'd be a proof of you. Yeah. Right. That was one of the coolest things in the world. And that actually, that's one of the reasons, you know, that's one of the things that drives me. I, I love doing what I do because I know that I, that I'm was absolutely right. I know that I was

absolutely right in my decisions and it was validated by my dad seeing it before he passed. My grandmother got to benefit from the life that I was able to give her. My mother can benefit from that life now. So I knew I made the right choice. So to the people of Orlando, I'll never crap on Orlando because that's my hometown. Do I agree with some of the small mindedness of the South, which is why I don't live there. And I'm not saying that everyone is small minded, but there are a lot of policies in place that are discriminatory. So, so no, but it was a beautiful place for me to grow up. And when, so you're working at Disney, when, but how do you get, how do you start? Did you hook up, hook up with a manager or something in Orlando? How were you getting cast in movies? Yeah. I had, uh, an agent, uh, Susan Haley. I want to say Susan Haley.

Hey, Haley talent, um, in Orlando, in Orlando, Florida. So I was getting sent, sent out for stuff. Yeah. Uh, but it was really after I started doing improv, the group that we formed, it was called sack theater was the company and they were actually the street entertainment for Disney and the contract had just ended. So, so these, these guys, they, they were so experienced and they grew up, you know, loving improv and I'd never known, known about it until them. They did all the street entertainment. They did Ren, Ren fairs and all this stuff. And so they were the ones teaching me improv. So I joined as a, uh, um, I wasn't a company member yet. You know, I would, this was after the improv class, you joined this busker group. This was the class

of this way. So, so because the Disney contract ended, they needed to now go on and how are they going to do it? It was like, they were going to teach classes and open up a theater. And so I was in that first wave of people in that first class that I took, I was hooked. So I was broke because I was working at Disney. So my job was I would trade class time for, I would sweep and clean up. And, and so. It's like really being in the life of the theater. Right. Really being in it. But, but I learned everything that I learned about improv and the basics of comedy started there yeah rhythmically and then from doing improv then i learned to write sketch were you were you taught these things or did you just do it by like being in it i was both yeah you you get taught the basics you know that anybody really who's taking an improv class can teach you the basics of improv

it's like yes and and yeah and don't talk over other people and do that jazz. Right. But then it takes masterful teaching to go, okay, now we're going to put you up on your feet and you're going to do it. And guess what? You're going to suck. Yeah. Oh my God. Are you going to suck? You're going to suck all the time. You're going to suck. Maybe you might be funny, but, but you're going to suck. And so I sucked a lot and we did this thing called theater sports, which was competitive improv. Sure, yeah. So we did three shows a night,

five to six nights a week. Yeah. So that's, you know, when you're young. So they're selling tickets to that. Yeah, they're selling tickets. That was their business model.

Yes. Yeah. And that's the stamina. Yeah. Just like doing stand up, you move up from, oh, open mics to really getting booked.

Yeah. That was my thing. Six nights a week, just shows. Three shows a night, just going, learning, learning, building. Yeah, yeah. Wow. So how come, like I just noticed this, but when we were talking about being bullied,

did you have a stutter? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really, really thick stutter. Really? How'd you kick that? Improv? I think performing in general and a healthy dose of self-confidence because a lot of it, which is why when I speak about the stutter, I make a clear delineation that mine was not a medical stutter. Because I've worked with the American Stuttering Institute and I know that there's a difference. And so mine was definitely anxiety-borne.

Yeah. And once you get that though, it's hard to shake it. And I actually worked with a speech therapist. I remember working with a speech therapist in like second or third grade. Oh, so you had it early on. Oh, because when I write the sitcom of my life. Yeah. Is that a plan?

This little kid, this little son, I got skipped. Yeah. From kindergarten to second grade. I thought it was cool then for a second. Yeah. But now in hindsight and when people are like, oh, my child's in the gifted program. Sure. You know what?

No. Yeah. Let this kid. Take the hits. Let the kid take the hits and mature as they were. Because just because you show early signs of reading and creativity doesn't mean you should be propelled through school. Because I wasn't ready for it physically. Adam sure wasn't ready for it mentally. And so a lot of the stuff that I developed was because of that. Sure. And so, yeah, the stutter of, I was even looked at wrong. And I couldn't,

I would feel the back of my throat close up. It felt like my tongue got big. Yeah. And I knew the word I wanted to get out. And I couldn't breathe. I physically couldn't. And this is something that, you know, and I've spoken about,

it still haunts me to this day. If I get very worked up, if I get super angry or if I get very emotional, it'll instantly get triggered. But the thing is I learned tools to relax those muscles and to do those things. And it's all an anxiety response. Oh, absolutely. Fight or flight. And on top of that, you had the accent. I had the accent and a nerd and they thought that my parents had money. We didn't have any money, but because I was dressed like little Lord Fauntleroy and there was a thing of once you learn, you know, and then don't, don't even get me started on the thing that internally in, in the community, the whole, well, you're not black because you don't talk like us.

And now you go to that school because I was bused to another school. So this started when you were that young? Absolutely. This sort of accusation of being, you know, Tom-ish? Or being different because it's a thing. Yeah. And I completely recognize where it comes from. I think it is harmful to the black community and it is bullshit.

Yeah. And, and as I got older, especially being in this business and bump, bumping heads with certain people, I learned to advocate for myself and just like dismiss it. But I get where it comes from and it comes from a very bad place. It's lasting trauma.

Well, explain that to me. Well, where does it come? And I'm no historian. And so if someone listening wants to correct me, fine. But this is my understanding. Yeah. So to put it simply, in the black community, right? Yeah.

If someone is accepted, that being a marginalized that, that we've gone through so much trauma in this country from, from, from the initial trauma of slavery to then being thrown free. Now you're free, but now you've got nothing. And so you're dependent on this. And, and then the way that you're looked at, the way that you walked, the way that you talk, black people had to find their own communities. They had to build their own worlds. So when you are forced by necessity to become insular to a certain degree, anyone who sticks out or maybe talks or looks or smells, acts, walks like, talks like the oppressor or that other person or those people, well, you're different than us. You can't be for us if you're like them. And that was also used as a divisionary tool.

So when we think that way, when we think when, and I'm saying we as black people, when we as black people look at other black people, well, you're light-skinned, so you're not as black as I am, or you talk funny, so you're not as black as I am, or you don't do that. That would be feeding into the thing of we're a monolith and

we all act one way and there's one big black book. This is the big black book of being black. Now, read the book. There is no way. I always believed that, and I've really begun to believe it lately, And I've really begun to believe it lately. Black people or Asian people or Latin people or anyone else, in order for everybody to have parity, black people should be allowed to suck and be as mediocre as the most mediocre white person, as the most mediocre Asian person, because for a black person, and I'm only speaking my own truth, for a black person to really kick ass, whether in a corporate setting, even in the entertainment business, we have to almost do double and smile twice as hard and pull and do these things.

And you're still looked at as, well, you can be thug number one or you can be the emasculated nerd. Yeah. But I don't really see you as the leading man. Right. Unless you got a big dick. Yeah.

And can you sing? Yeah. So when the day comes that I can just be dope because it's something that I want to do and not something that I have to do to be seen. Yeah. Then I think then that is the equalizer. Then we'll all be the exact same. You can suck and I can suck. And be comfortable with it.

And be comfortable with it. Yeah. No, I don't want to suck. Yeah. But, but we should all be able to be at the same level. Right. Well, I mean, I've talked about this with, with a couple other people and I, and I hosted a radio show for a couple of years and my co-host was a black dude.

And just that sort of the idea of the community holding you back, in a sense, if you behave differently. If you behave differently, you're definitely – now, I'm not going to say the community holds you back. Or judges you. The judgment. Yes. And I definitely went through that. You know, once I- From when you were a little kid.

Yeah, but it slapped me in the face when I got Whose Line, which was by far, that was like the launch for you. You did the little things here and there. Oh, the British version? The British version was cool, but it was the ABC version with Drew.

Yeah. That's the thing that I blipped on the radar. Instead of, I was making guest appearances on sitcoms and doing a lot of theater and stuff, but it was the ABC version with Drew. That's the thing that I blipped on the radar. Instead of, I was making guest appearances on sitcoms and doing a lot of theater and stuff, but that was the thing. Once America goes, oh, who's that dude? And of course I stuck out. And so once you are the only black member of this ensemble in this art form that for American audiences, at least was relatively new. Yeah. Right. And there's a focus on you good, good or bad. And a lot of people were happy to see, you know, there were a lot of brothers and sisters happy to see someone that looked like me in that

mix. And I've talked to a lot of people that have come up after me and said, Hey, you know what? I started doing improv because I saw someone that looked like me doing improv and that was great. And I love that. But then the flip side of that also was, why are you the only one doing that? And you're a sellout because you weren't doing this show or you, or those are the impressions that you do, or you talk like this or like this, or you're dancing for the man, you're doing the whole thing. And it hurt. I will completely admit it hurt at first, because I'd be a liar to say you say otherwise. You want your tribe, your people to respect what you're doing, especially me knowing that at that point, especially that was the era of Friends. So TV was very white, you know, in terms of the network stuff.

So I knew where I was in that place and I knew my visibility. So it hurt. And then to hear, to get it from other standups and then to get it from other people in the business. To be a reference. To be a reference to be a reference and yeah and and you know fame famously i was a reference when when mooney god god bless his soul made made that uh joke on the chapelle show right and then dave turned around and let me come on and do my thing which was an amazing sketch that was so funny and so it was great but like what was like for people that don't know i mean this, so that's early on.

That's when you're on whose line. That's before you even started doing broader work as a host and all that other stuff. Yeah. That, that was, um, whose line, the American version I think was 98, 99. So I started doing things relatively fast. Like, you know, once the town goes, oh, we're, we're, we're going to give you work. Yeah. You start getting work.

So I'd say like within the first few years, that's when that happened. Because I remember you were all over the place. Yeah. Yeah. Like you host this, you host that. And that wasn't even in my wanting to do. That's why I say, like I said at the beginning, it would have been great to have a plan instead of listening. Bernie Brillstein was my manager and Bernie wasie was a legend when bernie oh

so you you actually had him when he was alive yeah he was your guy yeah bernie was my guy so bernie had a plan bernie said kid you're sammy davis jr i'm gonna fucking make you sammy davis jr you like sammy davis jr i said i love sammy davis jr i wasn't then you're gonna be sam i should have said i should have said, I should have said, I love Sammy Davis Jr. But you know who I really love? I love Sidney Poitier. I love Denzel Washington.

I see a path for myself because even in spite of all that, comedy was never my destination. It was a piece of me, but I always thought I'm going to end up on Broadway in all these roles that I want to do. And eventually I want to headline a TV drama. Film would be great, but I know what I want to do in that regard. But nothing that I did was moving towards that goal. I was on a boat moving towards variety land. Well, but, but Bernie, you know, being Bernie and being, and being show business, like he knew right away that he could get you working. Bingo. Right away. Working. Yeah. That's

the thing. And that's what I think that if you are an up and comer and you're able to hit this town and people respond to you and you've got some juice, have a plan, have a plan quick. Cause there is a difference between working and building a career and the two can overlap sure you got to be ready to work and apparently you you were obviously ready to work always at the drop of a dime yeah i mean in the sense that like but even for the breaks you were given because sometimes you know people get breaks and they're not ready for it and they kind of they kind of self-destruct or they go away. But the world that you were catapulted into is a legitimate and longstanding world of show business.

Absolutely. And it requires people to do the job. And also, oddly, because it was variety, whatever you think about your success, relatively speaking, in terms of what you might've wanted to do, you've gotten to do most of what you wanted to do. I've gotten to do a lot of what I want to do and things that I didn't know that I wanted to do. But like James Brown said, if you stay ready, you ain't got to get ready. I've been ready for those shots. And when the shots have come up, I went, oh, I can knock this out of the park. So when you're just working and you're trying, see, it's an interesting thing too about it, because I talked to Donald Glover years ago.

The whole world of black nerds is its own thing, man. Now, I was that early before the black nerd thing. Right, right. But I mean, that early before the black nerd thing. Right. Right. But I'm saying I think he was too, or his dad was where it was like, because I, as you know, an ignorant white guy didn't even really, of course there's black nerds. And when I'm talking to Donald Gover, I'm like, oh my God, you, you know, it's a whole

different world, but it wasn't part of, of the black experience publicly. Exactly. And it was go going back to that thing of as a character. Right. And so the things that I would either audition for or be offered, you can either be Urkel, which there's nothing wrong with Urkel. comedic like just look at it by itself the physical work yeah in that grand in that grand tradition of broad sitcom that that guy as a kid did from the pratfalls to the voice to the timing to the slow burns he was killing it that's a bona fide great character yeah just like afonso ribeiro in fresh prince yeah the work that it took to actually make that character of Carlton Stick, which much to their chagrin, you know, that they get stuck being looked at

as like that because that is so different. That's not black. That's so weird. It's so weird that that guy, but it shouldn't be. And that's the failing. It shouldn't be. You should be free to,

which Donald broke that mold, I feel. And one of the- Glover? Yeah. Yeah. And one of the, I don't think I've ever talked about this on air. One of the things that I think that has hurt me just a little bit in my life, and I don't know where I saw this quote, and I know he didn't mean it to hurt me.

Yeah. It's a thing because I get it. And I agree with him. Donald Glover, I believe in either online or in an interview or something said something to the effect of the, the choices that he made because I'm a musician and I've done things and it, and so we have in the ballpark of the same skill,

skill, skill set. You won a Grammy, didn't you? I was nominated and I've been on Broadway a bunch of times. But he has been very specific with what he was going to do. He said, basically, I didn't want to become Wayne Brady. And I get it because it's not really a slam on me. It's a slam on what I feel younger Wayne in terms of being the variety. Sure. What the business machine. You were taking opportunities. Yes.

Taking those opportunities and, and versus if I would have had more sense and followed a different route, I would have pursued my music more when I had, when I first started so that I would have had those relationships in place. And I would have been looked at a certain way. Cause you only get one chance in the beginning to become the thing. Yeah. Then later it's rebranding. Sure. But like when, when you first happen and you go, ta-da, what do you want to be seen like?

Cause that, cause that's you. That's you. And I didn't pay attention to that. So I get that. So I applaud Donald. I love him. I love his writing. I love how smart he is. I love how he and Jordan Peele and Keegan

and those are all people that I respect and those are the homies and I've worked with them. And I look at that and I go, oh, I love that they have taken the blurred movement and made it a thing that is just as sexy and just as valid. And so in a way, I know I'm part of that because of whose line and some of the things I've done, But I just wish I would have been a little more intentional. Right. Well, I mean, but I think that what we were talking about earlier was that, you know, when you have a certain amount of anxiety or sadness or something that resides in you, you know,

and given parental situation, when you're wanted, you'll go. Absolutely. And when you're working, you'll go. Absolutely. And when you're working, you're not thinking about the darkness. Oh, God, you hit it on the head. And I mean, I'll even go a little further and I'll say the thing I feel, the way you work and the way you move, that reflects your life, right? Yeah. So if your life is in a shambles or disorganized, your work is going to reflect that.

Maybe not all the time, but I speak for myself and from what I've observed of other people. And I've been in therapy for years for depression and also for what can be called love addiction, codependency, fantasy addiction. And I haven't really talked about that part of it. Which are those three? All of it in that beautiful mix. Yeah. Yeah. That drives your life and makes you make poor decisions.

Sure. And, and, and you are effectually an addict. Yeah. And because your chemistry and the way that you move is dictated by those things. Yeah. So the thing that I learned years ago in meetings.

Yeah. Was the thing that you put before your recovery in that regard, you will lose, i.e. your relationships or your career. Because it begins to- In Al-Anon? No, no, no. In actually the codependent. Well, yes, in Al-Anon, in- Coda. In Coda, in Essay, in all of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I never- Gotta put your sobriety first yes right and i'll be lying if i say that i do that because i don't yeah you got to be it's a vigilance it's vigilance and i try and in fact i'm working right now yeah to make sure that i

move through the world that way because i get that that's why if you want love so badly, then what better place to get love than on stage? What better place to have people go, oh my God, you're so good. And you can make things up or you wrote that your character was so great. Yeah, you don't suck. You're not that stupid kid that everybody made fun of. For two hours on stage, we find you attractive. Hey, Wayne, sign my chest. Wayne, Wayne, my husband wants you to sign. All that, right? All that shit in one place.

My husband wants you to what? All that. I know, I know, yeah. So, right. So why wouldn't you run towards that? And I was not aware at that time that that's what I. I know. Yeah. So, right. So why wouldn't you run towards that? And I was not aware at that time that that's what I was dealing with. So, so, so it's silly when I kick myself in the ass and go, Oh, I sure should have woulda coulda because make no mistake. I've had a beautiful run and knock on wood. I'll keep on running. I get a chance to make folks laugh and I give away things on let's make a deal.

Is that fun? It's become so much fun. Oh man, it is a blast. And I know that I'm doing great work, not just for Wayne to make Wayne the performer happy. I'm making people happy. Sure. And I don't know if we as performers always think that way. We do what we do because it makes us happy. We love that feeling. And when the audience claps for us, oh, that's cool that you liked it, but I'm good. Right. I approach it differently. When they like me, I'm always sort of like, take it easy.

I'm not that great. You know what I'm saying? I'm not that great. You know what I'm doing? Like, I wish I, like, when I hear guys talk about how, like, you just go out there and get the love. As soon as I get the love on stage, I'm like, all right, let's back up a little bit. That's weird, isn't it?

I know. Because I do the same thing. You do. Because you want it, you want it. And then it's like, oh, my God, I love you so much. Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't know me. Come on, man.

You don't know that. Because we aren't deserving. Right. Because you make that thing up. I'm not know. Come on, man. You don't know that because we aren't deserving. Right. Because you make that thing up. I'm not deserving. So you end up screwing yourself. You feel you're not deserving, but you run towards that thing. And then you back off and it's just such an odd mental state.

So I love doing something like Let's Make a Deal because it's not about me. I love doing something like let's make a deal because it's not about me. It stopped being about Wayne, the performer and what I want to, to get off on stage. And I make these people laugh and then I make people at home happy and people share that show with their friends and family. And yeah, you know,

it's an institution, it's an institution, but there are so many standups and other people that when I first started doing it, oh, that shit's whack. You're doing a game show. Corny. And then all of a sudden, you can throw a rock and hit all these game shows hosted by stand-ups. Sure.

And you can also throw a rock and hit a lot of stand-ups that aren't doing anything. And you can throw three rocks. Yeah. And so now I get a chance to do a great job and it really affects people and changes lives. And I hear that and I still get to do the stuff for me. Well, it's just interesting. So when you're early on, when you're becoming Sammy Davis Jr., because Bernie told you, you can be Sammy Davis. The unintentional Sammy.

Yeah. The unintentional Sammy. That's the name of the one man show. Yes. That's it. That's it. I have to assume that when it first starts publicly, when you get contemporaries and people in the black community taking shots at you like that, given your mental state, I mean, how bad did it spiral? Immediately. Immediately.

Yeah. I didn't have, I didn't realize that I suffered from depression and codependency and, and love addiction from an early age because I kept it moving. Yeah. I always kept it moving. And my ex-wife, who's my best friend and, and my business partner, she will always say, you know, even when I met you and I never gave, things bounced off of me because I was moving so fast. So once your career starts and things are happening, you know, you're going, you're going, you're going.

Yeah. When you get attacked like that, it can bounce off for a second, but then the first minute you have of inactivity, it hits you. And that's when I go, oh, well, I'm going to make them really like me. I need to do something to really make them like me. I need to do this. And then you start making bad decisions or rash decisions, impulsive decisions, not just work-wise, but just in life. You, it's a chaotic vulnerability.

It's so chaotic. And, and the best that I can describe to somebody is I just felt like I was for years and nobody knew this because what folks would say, what started to be a compliment, but I started to take to heart was like, he's always smiling on TV. He's, he's always grinning and laughing. He's grinning. And I was like, he's always smiling on TV. He's always grinning and laughing. He's grinning. I was like, yeah, because you know what? I was smiling because if I didn't smile, I would have probably spontaneously, A, burst into tears and B, tried to fight somebody outside in an alley.

No joke. Yeah. joke yeah i would the level of anger that i was carrying around with me yeah was is do still to the the level of anger people don't appreciate that fact because they see the thing hi welcome welcome to the show it's wayne look at me making you happy they don't get it yeah and so i didn't get it until i really started to deal with it face on. Well, when the thing with Chappelle happened, how did it unfold that he felt bad and wanted to integrate you into the show? I ran into Donnell Rawlings at, I believe at an NAACP event or something. And what a great guy, man.

And he came up to me and I will never forget the conversation, because I'd had a little, like I wasn't drunk, but I was just free enough that some of the Wayne that wasn't on TV came out. He's like, Wayne, I love you. Dave loves you. I love you. I'm like, you don't love shit. Because I saw that joke on the show, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

He's like, no, no, what are you talking about? He called Dave. Dave called me the next day. I was shooting my talk show. And Dave called me and said, Wayne, I just heard from Donnell. And that wasn't my joke. And we weren't trying to offend you, man. I respect you, blah, blah, blah.

Do you want to come on the show? And let's write a sketch together. So Dave, Neil, and, wrote that training day parody. And I was just such a big fan of Dave. Like I rocked with Dave from Robin Hood, men in tights and from the early comedy central standup era. Yeah. You know, like when, when you, you were hosting a show on Comedy Central back in the day. Yeah. So I was a Dave fan from the get-go. Yeah. So I loved Dave. Yeah.

So when the opportunity to do that sketch, I said, yes. And how fast? Yeah. Plus, it was an opportunity for me to, A, prove my writing and my dramatic chops and a way to just shut some people up. Yeah. To just say, shut up. And did it? Absolutely. But then, you know the shut some people up. Yeah. To just say, shut up. And did it? Absolutely.

But then, you know, the way that life works. Sure. We can never be happy with the end result. So now people are like, oh shit, Wayne Brady, I love you because of that sketch. And I wanted to be the African-American studies professor that would stop people on the street corner that would stop me and go, Wayne, I love that sketch. No, brother, you can't find that sketch funny because of the reason why it was funny in the first place, because you were likening one black man's success to another. Come on, Wayne, just shut up and take the compliment. Shut up, Wayne.

Shut up, Wayne. The inner fight. Wayne, shut up. These people just said they loved what you did. No Wayne, shut up. These people just said they loved what you did. No, you shut up. These people are disparaging me and they're calling me. You come to shit. Oh God. It's exhausting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, uh, that's the other character. That's that angry Wayne. Angry Wayne is my roommate. Yeah. Yeah. You can't get rid of him. No, man. No, no. The best I could do is just feed him some Krispy Kreme

and have him shut up and then he overeats. Yeah, exactly. And then it's like, I'm still in charge. I'm still in charge. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to have a joke where I said, it was a thing I wrote that it was,

the monster I created to protect the kid inside me is hard to manage. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely, because he has to be tough. Yeah. He has to be tough. Yeah. He has to be tough. But the Broadway experience for you, I mean, that seems like, was it the best?

Broadway's home. Being on stage is home. Yeah. That's absolutely where I, because that's that, any role that I've been able to do, that's really Wayne in his bedroom playing pretend, which is why I never, which is why when somebody hires Wayne Brady, the host, Wayne Brady, the guy, I'm like, oh, it's cool. But I'm playing Wayne Brady, the character to get through that stuff because I never thought that folks would know my name. All I ever wanted to do was be on stage. Yeah. So I didn't care if you knew my name.

Yeah. Just give me a role. Sure. That's, that's the cool, weird part of this business is just tell God what you want and have him laugh at you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, God's got a hell of a sense of humor.

And he has a plan. So I, now I've just said, you know, I surrender. That's cool. Yeah. So is that how, like, is that how you manage? Well, I mean, you were able to do Broadway and then you were in Hamilton as well, right? Yeah. That must have been great.

I do my best to do as much as I can. And shout out to, you know, Fremantle, the production company, because not everyone gets the freedom to, I've managed to avoid being landlocked. Yeah. So I tape Let's Make a Deal about three to four months out of the year. Yeah. We tape three shows a day. Yeah. I love my company.

We kill it. The show's great. And then I go off and I do Broadway or I do a series. Yeah. This last season, I was on American Gigolo with Jon Bernthal's show. Jon's a beast. Jon and Rosie O'Donnell, Gretchen Maul. It was great on Showtime. Yeah. John and Rosie O'Donnell, Gretchen Maul. It was great on Showtime.

Yeah, yeah. So every season I get to do one of those. That's great. Yeah, so I get to do that and a little Broadway stuff, and I'm happy. So how do you manage the demons? I mean, are you a meeting guy? I need to be more of a meeting guy. I go in spurts yeah and uh even today i sat there's a

there was a there's a 7 30 meeting that that i knew i was like wayne the zoom you you really need to go to a meeting yeah no in person i was gonna go go first i said go go go to a meeting. And instead, I did a session with my therapist. But going to the meetings, that's a must. And I need to become better about that. And how did your depression ultimately manifest itself? How did you hit a wall? My bottom was when I realized that I had, that I was going to work and, you know, doing the do, making folks happy and then isolating myself. Um, you know, when you make your world small.

Yeah. I went even physically, like the physical manifestation of this to me was I moved out of this place that I had in Sherman Oaks. Yeah. This huge place. And I said, I'm going to downsize. I'm going to move this other house. And then I moved like three times in one year. Yeah. Not for any reason except, no, I don't like thisize. I'm going to move this other house. And then I moved like three times in one year. Yeah.

Not for any reason except, no, I don't like this place. I don't like this place. Until I was in a condo, a two or three bedroom condo, and I never used the other two bedrooms. I was in my room. Yeah. So I'd come home from work and be in my room. Huh. So I'd managed to bring my physical space down to make myself smaller.

Yeah. And I wasn't talking to my ex. I talked to my daughter by virtue of when she was with me every few days because I had to. Yeah. And even then I think that she knew that something was up with, with dad and I was getting the dark thoughts and always. Suicidal thoughts? I don't know if I'd go as terms of suicidal. Yeah. I think I could have reached that place. Yeah. And what stopped me was, A, I love my daughter.

So even if the specter loomed on the outside, I said, no, because I'm never going to do anything to leave my daughter. Dark thoughts, just like nothing matters. Nothing matters. So I don't matter. So it's the cousin to matter. I don't. So it's the cousin to that. Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And then Robin passed. Yeah. Robin passing changed my life. And I say that, and I've talked to his family and, and, uh,

I'm, I've done work with this group called, uh, that Glenn Close has called, uh, bring change Bring Change to Mind, dealing with mental illness. And I didn't know how far the other way I was. Yeah. Until you look at Robin Williams. Yeah.

And I'm blessed enough that I got a chance to work with Robin and- Did you improvise with him? Dude, talk about a bucket list. Yeah. Talk about a bucket list. He loved doing that. He loved it. And when I see Robin Williams, who from my childhood was a beacon,

and I mean that in every way, shape, and form, of what the human mind can do and that speed of thought. And then as an actor, to be able to do the depth and breadth and to be able to do Shakespeare and to be able to make a fart joke. And it's like, that's what I want to do. That's what I want to do. When that person says, who the world loves,

says, I can't do this anymore, because he also is suffering with his physical illness. When he says, I can't do this anymore and I'm not telling anybody and I am leaving. When I see that person leave in that manner, I go, well, if Robin can come to that place, I don't stand a chance. If Robin can do it, I don't stand a chance. If Robin can do it, I don't stand a chance. So what can I do? And that's when on my 40th birthday, I asked for help. And that was the day that I dropped my daughter off at school. So I felt incredibly lonely. She was leaving for like a three day field school field trip. Yeah. It was my birthday. Nobody was in my house. I walled myself up. I felt like to me, I felt like a failure because I hadn't done some of the things that I'd wanted to do by that point.

And I was like, you are just shit. And this is what you deserve. And it got really dark. And then I saw the news about Robin and, and, and, and I had dinner with my ex-wife and a couple of friends that night. And she'd been telling me, Wayne, you need help. And I said, please take me to someone because I need something. Yeah. And I'm so happy that I did it. Well, it's, it's kind of amazing that just that the mathematics of that, of like, if that guy, how am I not going to, right? Robin, because like I said, I loved him from when I was a child. When I look at what I think of as one of the best of us in your chosen field,

it's like this guy's a paragon of what the thing is. Yeah, yeah. It always bothered me when people, you know, like comics dismissed him. It's like, he's done everything that you ever want. Like, I imagine on some level

you can identify with that too but because it wasn't a racial thing right but like you know i've not heard he was a hack it's like who gives a fuck because i did everything he's he's done it everything all of it every single bit have you done it have you done it? But you don't even have the talent to even begin to. Yeah, I get it. So, so the math of that really Robin did, did change, change my life and how I perceived mental illness because I didn't believe it. Yeah. I didn't believe it. I very much was of the mindset. And I think that it is a thing in the black community that you're taught, you know, when you're younger, therapy isn't for us. That's for white people. We don't have the luxury of, of being, of, uh, of, of, of depressed. What's that? Especially my generation is like, what's that?

You know, that that's just crazy. Uncle Jimmy, you know, back from NAMM. He's so crazy. No, that man is suffering PTSD. Yeah. And now in delving into my own family history, you know, I realize my father was dealing with a lot of his own issues. Yeah. And so I've really tried to delve into that. My father was dealing with a lot of issues before he passed. And so when I see that, I realize that I bought into that, that, you know,

that I'm not crazy. Sure. Why should I go pay somebody to talk to me? I'm not crazy. That's crazy. And what about your mom's, uh, uh, mental state? She, my mom went to, uh, a few years ago, she went back to school and she became a relationship therapist. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good. So she absolutely believes in therapy. But was there depression in the family?

That we've never really talked about on her side. I sincerely believe it is on my side because I know. On your dad's side? Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. So you went and got the help and now you just, you know, you go day to day. I go day to day and some days are awesome.

Yeah. And I need, and I wish I took better care of myself. And that's just me even out loud, you know, the accountability thing of, I know that I do not. Like, I know that I need to be at meetings I know that I need to to follow more of my steps the difference is I do do them I don't do it perfectly sure but I know enough now that I am at a different place than I was 10 years ago than I was six years ago oh yeah well I mean I've been sober 23 years you know know? So like, you know, once you plow that shit into your head, it's in your head, you know, the steps and taking like,

in just the sort of like, like I was with a woman, you know, who got me sober and, you know, didn't end well, but like, I, you know, I make my bed every day. Yeah. I tell people the same thing. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. If you do nothing, make your bed. Get up and make your bed. And wash your dishes. That's what I've tried to teach my daughter. We have different ideologies on cleanliness. But I tried to tell her, I said, Miley, there are days, even this morning, even this morning, knowing that I was going to come out to do the podcast i was happy yeah and i had another meeting that i was going going to go to with a producer friend that i had to

reschedule my whole thing is as soon as i get uh then i reschedule everything i'm like oh can can i just do it later can i just i get dread like i get dread yes panic yeah yes it's in i have to really manage that shit. Because even if it's just regular things to do the day, like if I have to just go meet someone for lunch tomorrow, I'm like, oh, God. So I'm going to do that. It fucks my head up.

And it's nothing. It's nothing. It's just a day. It's nothing. What are you even feeling dread about? Would you rather have nothing to do? That's it. Yeah. But that's the enemy anxiety the anxiety is the enemy and the beautiful thing is you know we have our art to not only make people happy but now i've started to make myself happy again yeah when i perform yeah and that is light that's a bit of light that I get to shine on myself.

And I love that. But you don't do stand-up much, right? It's a mixture. I do improvisation. I bring my buddy Jonathan on the road with me and we do improv scenes and I do improvisational music. But I do stand-up in the

sense of there's a loose thing that I'll talk about if I get into a town or things in the news and they come out funnier than not. And the things that really work, I go, oh, okay. Well, I'll just keep that for later. But so it's a hybrid app. Sure. And is it fun to be with the guys again?

Oh man, getting a chance to close out Who's Line like this because we haven't been in the same room doing it since before the pandemic. Is everybody there? Yeah. Ryan is there. Colin. Aisha Tyler is our host. I love Aisha. That show changed my life. Yeah. me when I started that it'll be an improv show that I'll be on stage, that I would have the audacity to think that I could just think of something on the fly. And that would be the thing that would give me success. Who do you think you are, Wayne?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. And I love the show and I love the guys. And I think that it's amazing that we get to have this, you know, it's a nice little grand send off because this thing has been on forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is great.

And I'm going to share something. And I don't know. No one has told me not to. Yeah. So one of the things that we have a lot of special guests this season. But even my daughter. Yeah. My daughter has gotten a chance to come on the show.

And am I going to say what she did? So you don't know if she got to participate or not, but getting to share this thing with my daughter that I started performing in earnest when I was her age. Yeah. So she can look at me in this and, and she sees dad doing this thing. Yeah. It just makes me so happy.

That's great. It's yeah, man. It's great. It's great. And everybody's still sharp It's yeah, man. It's great. It's great. And everybody's still sharp, you know, and as the youngest guy, um,

yeah, it's so funny, but like they, they're, they're still cake, kick, kicking ass. That's great.

Frigging Ryan styles and Colin mockery are two of the goats. Yeah. They are two of the best to ever have done it. It just must be like electric to get in it again. Oh, it's great. Well, it's great talking to you, buddy. Man, thank you for having me. This has been something that I've wanted to do for so long,

and I'm such a fan of yours, brother. Oh, I appreciate that. And I have you. Well, thank you, sir. It was good talking to you. Thanks, brother. That was Wayne. Heavy stuff, light stuff.

We ran the gamut. Let's Make a Deal airs weekdays on CBS. Whose Line Is It Anyway? Comes back on The CW on March 31st. Please hang out, folks. Please, just sit tight. first. Please hang out, folks. Please, just sit tight.

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Cozy's Direct2 model ensures that quality and value go hand in hand. Transform your living space today with Cozy. Visit cozy.ca, that's C-O-Z-E-Y, and start customizing your furniture. For full Marin subscribers, the Wrestling with Mark miniseries wraps up this week, which includes me coming face-to-face with the AEW champion, Maxwell Jacob Friedman.

Do you find any actual anti-Semitism coming at you? Oh yeah. Yeah. I've had death threats. I've had Nazi emblems keyed into my car. Really? When I was on the Indies, you would hear kike a lot more often than I've heard it here, but I think that's only because the arenas are so loud. If there is someone screaming kike, I just can't hear it because there's so many people booing me because of that bad taste mark. Yeah. Well, that's kind of interesting, right? Did you ever find it menacing or you still thought it was all part of the gimmick? Quite frankly, so I think in the underbelly of society, and I think you would agree with this, anti-Semitism has always been rampant. Of course. That's why we're kind of always like,

oh shit, you got the cough, got to be the Jewss you know what i mean like jewish people is always the scapegoat yeah so i think this kanye thing kind of unearthed it all over again yeah and i found that really interesting to see how many people were in the replies like you know he's not wrong yeah and you're just reading it and at first you're just baffled by the stupidity right but then you have to remind yourself no anti-semitism is rampant but it's not as fun to talk about as say um other ethnicities going through it. Yeah. For whatever reason.

Well, that's because most people don't know Jews. Yeah. I mean, like, you know, other ethnicities are more represented in culture. I'd say so. You've got to go find a Jew. Yeah. We're hiding. Yeah.

We're hiding writing. Always. We're writing for the anti-Semites is what we're doing. But I mean, like, in comedy, though, I go out of my way now to like to really kind of make a big deal out of the Jew thing. I love it. Annoy whatever people might be anti-Semitic.

I like to get people to just get to a point where they're like, we get it, Jew. Yeah. You know what? I think we're going to get along great. Sure. Because that's what I love to do.

On Thursday, we're airing a condensed version of the whole series here in the free feed. But you can get all five parts of the min mini series by signing up for the full Marin. Just go to the link in the episode description or click on WTF plus at WTF pod.com. Don't forget my HBO special from bleak to dark premieres this Saturday, February 11th at 10 PM and on demand on HBO max. I'm going to go make a pot of brown rice.

That's where I'm at. Here's some guitar. © transcript Emily Beynon Thank you. Thank you. boomer lives monkey lafonda cat angels everywhere