WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 1541 - Steph Tolev

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

In a role reversal for WTF guests, Steph Tolev thought Marc didn’t like her. And as Marc usually finds out when he assumes another comedian dislikes him, Steph discovered that Marc is actually totally intrigued by who she is and interested in how she developed her unique comedic style. So Steph explains that it has a lot to do with Canada, highland dancing, sketch comedy, spite, pissing off the wrong people, farting, and Bill Burr, roughly in that order. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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with Noom's psychology and biology-based approach. Sign up for your trial today at Noom.com and check out Noom's first ever cookbook, The Noom Kitchen for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living. Available to buy now wherever books are sold All right, let's do this. How are you? What the fuckers? What the fuck buddies? What the fuck nicks? What's happening? I'm mark Maron This is my podcast WTF

What the fuck, Nix? What's happening? I'm Marc Maron. This is my podcast WTF. Welcome to it. What's going on? I know I hope you're doing alright. I know the last time I talked to a lot of you I was a little panicky. I was a little out of my head a little worked up Well, I am in Vancouver now For the first little jaunt for a few days. I'm up here, that's why it sounds a little different. I'm on a mic in a room and the room has tile in it. I've sublet or what do you call it? I'm renting an apartment.

Downtown Vancouver. It's weird because I'm very close to the hotel that I really loved in Vancouver. It's closed right now for renovations, but it's not far from where I am. And I remember one of the reasons why I loved that hotel so much. I remember it. The first night I stayed there, I'm like,

oh my God, this is the most quiet hotel I've ever stayed in in my life. The windows must be amazing on this hotel. And then I'm literally very close to it, and I realize now nothing happens in downtown Vancouver that makes any real amount of noise. So I was hoodwinked, I was fooled, maybe not. I mean, it was still quiet, but it's really not,

it's not, you know, you spend so much time in other cities. Like I spend a lot of time in New York. And no matter how high up I am in a hotel in New York, it's, I can still hear the shit on the street. But here in Vancouver, like I'm looking out at the city right now from the hotel, I'm on the 17th floor of this place and pretty slow going. Not a complaint, very peaceful, very nice, very quiet.

Yeah, so I've been up here for a few days and once I got up here, got the work permit, got settled in this place, immediately went to a Whole Foods to ground myself in a reality that I understand. But I got that same vibe, man. Every time I come up here, I'm like, oh my God, what a load off. What a fucking load off.

Whatever is going on down there in the States every day, just kind of plowing into my brain through the machine on my hand or the machine on my desk or for other people talking Or just being on the road with other people in car. It's just not Here man, it is just not and there's sort of a peacefulness to it that I fucking dig now look talk to me after a few months of this coming up here every you know you know going back and forth you know let's talk then let's see if whatever i'm appreciating right now about the silence and the pace and the quiet and the lack of the malignant psychic assault of culture deteriorating, of the world deteriorating every day.

Look, I can still get it on my phone, but it doesn't seem as immediate, man, because it's not here. But talk to me in a few months about whether or not that peaceful feeling has made me fucking insane. Let me know. Good show today, by the way. Got a lot of good shows coming up. I've done a lot of interviews lately, you know.

We got a lot already done, which makes it easier for me. But today, Steph Tolev is on the show. I don't know, I used to see her around the store all the time, I didn't really know her. I barely watched her for a while, but then all of a sudden I watched her, and I'm like, holy fuck, this woman's a force to be reckoned with.

A filthy tank of a comic. She had a sketch comedy group in Canada called Lady Stash. She's on tour in Europe right now, and she'll be back in the US next month, but she's just a tour de force of filth. And I love it, I love it. She's got a very specific type of swagger that you don't see or hear much and she's shameless

and she's very funny in a very specific way but also sort of a timeless way. Yes, yes, that is Steph. She's something else. She's on the show today, that was very exciting. I'm performing up here in Vancouver on Friday, June 21st at the Vogue Theater. Then I'm in Seattle on Saturday, June 22nd

at the Moore Theater. In the fall, I'm coming to Tucson, Phoenix, Oklahoma City, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Boulder, Colorado, Joliet, Illinois, Skokie, Illinois, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Sacramento, and Napa, California. To get all my dates including the ones from the summer that I had to reschedule go to WTF pod.com slash tour. So I got up here, I got to Vancouver last night like day one, Owen Wilson texted me and we had not met in person yet.

So it was kind of weird. We talked on the phone a few times. We're gonna be playing off each other a lot in this show. Obviously I know Owen from the movies and I'd never met him before. And the other night we went out to dinner, hung out, took a walk, had some nice laughs, got to know each other,

acted like a couple of middle-aged guys talking about stuff, and it was real, it was comfortable. There's one thing about doing this show, and I don't know that I always had it, though. There's one, I don't, you know, he's just a guy. And I don't know if I would have been that way if it had been years ago. I told him, I said, look man, these guys in this show, you know, they're us, dude.

I mean, on some level they're us. He's like, yeah. So it's, I think we're gonna be all right. And then the first day, what do we do? I had to go do a wardrobe fitting. It's so weird, man. When I go to do this work, you know, I put a lot of thought into it.

You know, I make some decisions about the character, and I think about certain ways that I may want him to look, or what I'm willing to do, the risks I'm willing to take in terms of changing my appearance or whatever. And willing to do, the risks I'm willing to take in terms of, you know, changing my appearance or whatever. And I thought like, maybe this guy's got kind of a short hair, he's a little bro-y, maybe he's got a goatee or whatever.

And then I thought like, well, maybe he starts with the full beard and then he goes to, anyway, I'd grown out all my hair and all my facial hair just so we had something to work with. And of course I get to the wardrobe and then I get to hair and makeup and they're sort of like, yeah we're just gonna trim what you have.

I'm like, yeah but I'm not gonna argue. I'm like, fine, whatever you guys want. And then they're like, well maybe we'll make it a goatee later in the season. I'm fine. And a lot of the clothes, I was looking at the clothes and I told them what I liked and then there's a lot of the clothes that I already wear.

And I'm like, oh, I get it. So you wanted me to be this character. You want this character to be kinda like me. Not that I'm gonna do it any other way, really, but it is kinda interesting. What I'm not gonna do is put on a bald wig like Austin Butler did for Dune. Now, I didn't even see Dune,

but I saw the posters for Dune, and I was sort of like, wow, that's a lot. I mean, how do you transcend that? But I hear he was good. But maybe I'll wear a bald wig. They were gonna put a bald wig on me for Jerry Wexler, and then they opted against it, and they just used my hair and my facial hair.

Someday, man, someday I'll play a monster, like a real one, not just a human monster. So yeah, so after we did wardrobe, I went to props and we're looking at glasses and they had a lot of glasses that look like my glasses, I don't wanna wear my glasses. Then I think we found a pair. Then I had to go drive an RV for a while

because I'm gonna be driving an RV. They wanted to see if I could handle it. I drove one in Marin. I saw I whipped around a parking lot in this giant Winnebago a little bit. That was exciting. Then we had a read through of the first script. That went well.

But I'll tell you, man, I'll tell you the highlight of the day yesterday, really, is that a few of the cast members aren't here yet. And the guy who's playing the kid, this guy Peter, they were gonna use an ACDC song in the show, in the first episode. And then apparently they can't get the ACDC song. So I said, why no other ones, right?

So I started playing old ACDC for the show runner and everything, and for the kid, this kid, I don't know how old he is, he's gotta be in his early 20s. Nice kid, he's playing the kid in the show, this guy Peter. And he's like, what other ACDC songs are there? So I started playing some old Bon Scott ACDC, and he's like, oh my God, I'm like, yeah. He's like, this is great.

I'm like, yeah it is. So I never heard it before. I'm like, what? He's like, I wanna know some more like hard rock stuff. You know, I just want, maybe my character's like listening to this stuff. I'm like, like the old stuff? He's like, yeah.

And I'm like, okay. Well, what do you, how do you, how hard do you want to go? How about Black Sabbath? I played him some Black Sabbath. He'd never heard that before either. And he was like, it was okay. I think he loved it. But dude, I played him Led Zeppelin.

I played him Led Zeppelin one. And a couple of tunes off that. I'm just trying to remember which tunes I played him exactly. I think I played him Good Times, Bad Times from Zeppelin I. And he was just like, what? And I'm like, you've never heard this?

He's like, I've never heard it. And I'm like, oh my God. And then I played him from I've never heard it. And I'm like, oh my God. And then I played him from Zeppelin too. I played What Is and What Should Never Be. He's like, they don't even, they change all, they change the rhythm and stuff. It's no, there's no straight through. And I'm like, yeah.

He's like, this is great. I'm like, you've never heard this? He's like, nope. And I was like, oh my God. And then I played like, you've never heard this? He's like, nope. And I was like, oh my God. And then I played him, I think it was Going to California. He was just like, I can't believe this. He said, and then he texted me later, he's like, babe, I'm gonna leave you

one of the best songs I've ever heard. How many opportunities? Well, maybe I guess if you have kids, which I don't, but the excitement that I got from turning a guy on, I guess he's a kid, he's in his, I just got to be in his early twenties, but from turning a kid on to Zeppelin, from watching somebody listen to Zeppelin for the first time, like this guy, Peter, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,

I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean what I mean? Not all turning on people to things is a great story, but just to be there to watch him listen to ACDC songs for the first time and Led Zeppelin and then just watch his mind get blown. You know, I don't know what I was freaking out about

because I get up to these things. You know, it's weird when I get around a bunch of new people and I guess just to just who I am, like I get kind of big, I'm cracking jokes. And you know, when I was younger, that didn't always serve me well, but I guess I'm doing okay now. But I guess what I'm trying to tell you people

after I drive you through my anxiety is that once I got on the plane, once I got packed, and once I realize I'm going home in a few days and I'm gonna go home pretty often, I'll be alright. It'll be alright. I'm gonna miss the comedy. I have to figure out a way to do that.

I think this role is gonna be fine. I'll be good, I think. And I'd like to have a good time. I definitely got Owen laughing and that's always fun. If I can get the guy I'm working with laughing, we have a good time. Man, when I worked with Marlon Wayans, oh my God. On that Aretha movie, respect, holy shit,

we laughed our asses off. Maybe that'll happen. That sounds good, doesn't it? Just laughing your ass off? So look, Steph Tolev is here. And she's really unlike anybody that I've ever had on this show. There's another comedian I've been watching lately that is just killing me.

Blair Sochi. She's so fucking funny. You know, I'm old and I don't see as much of the young guns as I used to, and then all of a sudden I see somebody around who's been doing it for a while and I'm like, where the fuck has this person been? How come I don't know this person? But Steph is definitely one of those people

and we talked about, because she used to see me around and I think she assumed I didn't like her, but I just hadn't seen her and she's so fucking good. So look, you know what, I'll be honest with you. I could not get through the Tom Brady roast. Is that his name? For a couple reasons, I don't know, man. I just remember roasts when I was a kid.

I remember the roast I was on, which was a terrible time. But I didn't know what that guy does. I don't care about sports, so I didn't wanna see football players trying to roast. And just to do comedy in arena, it's like, why is this a thing? Arenas don't make it better. I don't think they make it better on TV or live. It just feels hollow and it's a little weird.

But yeah, I couldn't get through it. I don't know why I'm telling you that. I did watch Nikki. Nikki was very good. But today is Stef Tolev Day and she's a pimp, man. She's something, brassy. Today is Steph Tolev Day and she's a pit man. She's something, brassy. This is me talking to Steph Tolev. From fleet management to flexible truck rentals

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This is nice. Isn't it nice? No pressure. I know. I have to look at myself and I'm like sucking in the whole nice. Isn't it nice? No pressure. I know. I have to look at myself and I'm like sucking in the whole time. I put Spanx on. I didn't even need to do that. I'm sitting here in Spanx like an idiot. I'm fucking sweating. What the hell? Do you want to go in the bathroom and take them off? No. I'm sitting here in no underwear. It's disgusting. So gross. But I think it would be appropriate for you.

In what? I'm disgusting. I don't want to be like this I'm so gross. You know, it's so funny. I was a Cuz like we don't really know each other and we see each other all the time and it's always at the Comedy Store and it's always like this next person I'm like hey, how you doing and Oddly, you know when you were coming over here. I'm like, oh my god. I don't know her at all. What's gonna happen? No, I don't this is definitely gonna be the longest that we've ever spoken in our entire lives. Well, you know, oddly, I had Atel over here last week,

who I've known for 35 years, Atel. And he did the podcast, you know, maybe in 2010 or something. And he did it again. And those were the longest conversations I've ever had with him. That's so funny. And I've known him for 35 years.

And I consider him a friend. But it tells always on the move. You see him, you're like, what's up, Dave? Oh, and then he's gone. You're not a lot of talking. He might be, I think, the funniest comedian of our time right now. Well, of our time now in the last 20 years.

In the last 20 years. I've never laughed harder at a standup in my life. Because he's like a physicist with jokes. He's always, you know the boards you see behind guys who do numbers? I feel like that's what Dave does every day with jokes. He's just moving things around. He works on their math equation.

Even in conversation. It's hard to find a comedian that's that quick. And I'm like, yeah, he's insane. It's so funny. Was he one of your favorites? No, to be honest, I didn't watch that much stand-up growing up. No?

I started watching it more when I started doing it. Really? It's weird. You know what I was listening to because I watch some of your stuff and I see you at the store all the time. And for some reason, I was like, you know, I'm gonna listen to some Bel Barth.

You know who Bel Barth is? No. She was a comic in like the 50s and 60s. And she was this dirty Jewish lady. And she was just like way before anybody else. She was just filthy. She got arrested for being filthy. She got busted by, because two school teachers accused her of ruining their brains.

That's so funny. Isn't that wild? I got to look this woman up. It sounds like something I'd love. No, you gotta watch, cause she's one of those people that's still like of that era where they're still mixing Yiddish in with their filthy jokes.

Okay. But are you Jewish or are you not? I'm not, no, I really give off a Jew vibe. I know, now I don't know what to do. See you later, goodnight. I'm gonna spank off now. I was really counting on the Jew thing. I know.

The Jew bonding. I'm Bulgarian, it's a real, I really look Jewish. I had the last name, I think gonna turn my Spanx off now. I was really counting on the Jew thing. I know. The Jew bonding. I'm Bulgarian, it's a real, I really look Jewish. I had the last name, I think it's kinda Jewish. Steph Toll, yeah. Is that the whole last name or is there more? No, actually my dead-o, my grandpa when he came from Bulgaria to Canada, he gave the wrong last name. Yeah.

He couldn't speak English. He gave the wrong one? Yeah, it's T-O-L-E-F-F. Oh, okay. And then he mumbled it, and they're like, Toll, yeah, so now we have a made up last name, it's not even real. And it's getting passed he mumbled it and they're like told of it. Yeah, it's it's no way they can made up last name It's not even real and it's so it's yeah. Yeah, so your grandfather You know like was Bulgarian like spoke Bulgarian full of all your both my grandparents were arranged marriage from Bulgaria. Why? It's still I mean it's happened recently like last like 30 years 40 years whatever. Yeah, they still do it in some places

I honestly before I met my boyfriend, I almost wanted to do that. Make it easier? Oh, make it easier. Sell me off for some big jacked goats in Bulgaria. I think I'd be a good trade. Yeah, sure. I think I'd piss off the Bulgarian man that caught me. He'd be like, really, I get this piece of shit?

And I'm just like, telling my pussy the whole time. I'm like, my pussy's so big. He's like, get back on the farm, milk some goats. Just screaming. Never in public again. Yeah, yeah, he'd never see me again. But I think about that, like arranged marriages, and when it happens, like, I mean, because you do,

like, you gotta get used to everybody. You know what I mean? I'm not real optimistic about the love thing, because I'm fucking 60. Are you? Yeah, yeah. Oh shit. Yeah, but because I, you know,

I don't have any kids or anything, like I'm suspended at about 25. And all these people that I've known for like 30 years, I'm like, what do you mean you're 40? Weren't we all the same age 10 years ago? What the fuck happened? You look good though. Do you drink alcohol? No, not anymore. Not anymore. Okay.

No drinking, no nothing. You what? I think it's the key. Yeah? I think, I know, I think drinking just makes you look like a bag of dead dicks. I think you're like, shit, after a while. I think I'm aging horribly because I drink. Yeah? A lot?

Stop. Nah, yeah, I'm sippin'. I love a sip. I love a sip. I'm trying not to. I'm trying to lose some weight because I have something coming up that I don't know if I can talk about yet but I need to... Can you talk about it vaguely? I may or may not be doing a special. Yes. Oh. Yes. I'm doing a special. Yes. That's great. I don't know if I'm allowed to say with who. No, you don't have to. You can certainly say it's a special. It's a special. I'm very excited. It's my first one. Yeah, I'm jacked up

How long you've been doing comedy 21 years? Holy fuck. I know Yes time for a special. It's ever special. I've been doing it. Yeah, cuz in Canada It's so much harder for us to come over here and then with the restart again And it's a whole fucking building process is it yes. Oh my god I came here been in LA almost nine years now when I came over here. No one gave a shit Yeah, but I did just for laughs like four times. No one gives a shit about that for anyone anymore. No, no, no.

But I thought, because I didn't have late night credit, and because I'm dirty, I couldn't get a late night credit. So did you do, were you like a queen of the dirty week? The dirty, like, didn't they have a dirty show? I can't remember. Oh, I actually, I just did that this year for the first time. For the first time? Yes, and I've been a filthy pig.

As filthy as you are? Yes, because I feel like- They don't even let their filthy comics climb in Canada? No, they don't. In Canada, I think you overheard me complaining about something about Canada the other day, and you were like, what's that all about? Because I did a speech just for Laughs last year. Oh, I did that thing, the keynote?

Yeah, the keynote. I did a keynote, and I was very, very vocal about how there's very few Canadians at a Canadian comedy festival. So I made quite a scene, I named some names. So that's good, when I did my keynote it was very serious. I got good laughs here and there, but I didn't go for the laugh. I had statements to make about new media.

Everyone's just like falling asleep. It was mostly the Canadian comics came to watch me. Yeah. It wasn't everybody? The whole industry wasn't there? I think there was some, but I think it was more geared towards the Canadians and me kind of being like, you know, there's... Yeah, here we are.

There's 300 performers here and there's what? 45, 50 Canadians? It's pretty bizarre. But are there... Well, let's talk about that. So Bulgaria, then they come to Canada. Where they come in? At Toronto? They came out east and then my grandfather came to. So Bulgaria, then they come to Canada. Where'd they come in? At Toronto? They came out East and then my grandfather came

like to Halifax and then they came to Toronto. And there's actually a large Bulgarian population, I think in Toronto. But like Bulgaria, I have no sense of what that means. I live among the- No, neither do I. I live among the Armenians here and I'm getting a bit of that education.

A lot of sweatsuits. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot a bit of that education. A lot of sweatsuits. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of Adidas sweatsuits, a lot of velour. They like being comfy. Manicured beards, white cars. A lot of white cars. Very manicured, like thin mustaches too. What is that?

But when you see that on a man, do you think like, wow, that's hot? Or do you think like, what the fuck is that guy's doing? How much time does that take? Well, I'm also repulsed by, I never was attracted to Bulgarian people. I don't want to I'm like a what's the Bulgarian look? It's me Picture me with a bigger a little thicker of a mustache and that's a Bulgarian person Yeah, I was never attracted to that because I didn't want to mate with that. I wanted like I like white

Yeah, white boys. I want to get away from the clean up the gene pool. Yeah, yeah, that's a problem. There's too much hair. Yeah, I got lucky, I'm relatively hairless. Oh wow. Yeah, and it's fine, you know, it's not, bleh. Yeah, no, mine's the opposite. Very thick, coarse, coarse hair. Yeah, it's disgusting. There's like hairs in the single-weapon suit.

Who's those? I'm like, you know they're mine. You know those are my thick beard and mustache hairs. Or my nipple hairs, I don't know which ones they are. Got their nipple hairs too? Oh yeah, they're thick. They are, you gotta really tweeze those. Oh my God.

Every woman has nipple hair. There's no way you're learning this now. No, no, no, I know that. I know that, but I mean, I don't picture a lot of it. Oh, I mean, it's not a couple. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, it's... But did your parents speak Bulgarian?

My dad did. My mom's not Bulgarian. My mom's like, her and raised, her grandma, her mom was like from England or something and then it's very white. Then my dad spoke full Bulgarian. Now, but like, so what's Bulgarian food? How's that, can you go to your grandparents

and what do you, what do they put food? Yeah, I had like a lot of like, a lot of like eggplant dips and like. Oh, okay, so it's sort of like that version of, like where the fuck is Bulgaria? Honestly, you Google it, years ago I used to do a joke where I look up Bulgaria and the first thing that would come up I said it's the least visited country in all of Europe. Like it's just nobody wants to go there. Even Bulgarians are like, hey, don't come in here We're disgusting people. It's really very nice, but I think it's a more of a poor

Okay, I see it. Yeah, it's in there. It's wedged in there by Greece. In the Balkans? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Near Turkey? I think the border is Greece, on the Balkans? Yep, yeah, yeah. Near Turkey? I think it borders Greece on the Black Sea or something, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Romania is on top. Okay. And then on the side is Serbia, North Macedonia.

There we go. Thessaloniki, what is that? I couldn't tell you. No, it doesn't border Greece. Oh, I don't even know. Oh wait, it does, because Thessaloniki is part of Greece, so Greece is kind of like Florida.

It kind of goes up and around. Okay. All right, so that's where you get, the food's relatively the same all through that area, isn't it? Goat cheese, feta cheese, a lot of cheese, a lot of goats, a lot of cheese. Yeah, yes.

Serbia. A lot of. Kosovo. I know nothing about it. No, as I should, I feel like as somebody who's from here, I should have some... Sense of Bulgaria? Sense of something. I tried learning Bulgarian for like a day and I was like, that's too much. For a day? How was that day?

It was a long day. It was a little flip book. I'm like, there's no pictures in this book. I don't get it. When did you do that? I was very young. My grandma, my mom would try to make me and I was like, I can't do this. Oh, shit. Yeah, no, I'm not. So, all right, so what happens in Canada? So you grow up not in a Bulgarian community, they moved to Toronto? They moved to Toronto.

I grew up very, so this is bizarre. I used to highland dance my entire life, competitively highland dance. With the kicking? With the kicking, the kilts and the bagpipes. When did you start that? Since I was three years old. So my mother dropped out of high school

and became a highland dancing teacher because she saw it at a birthday party when she was a kid. My grandma got her into it, so my mom was teaching at three years old. So my mother dropped out of high school and became a Highland dancing teacher because she saw it at a birthday party when she was a kid. My grandma got her into it. So my mom was teaching at 19 years old, her own dancing studio. And then my dad- For just Highland dancing. Just Highland dancing.

Very specific Highland dancing. Was there any sort of experimental Highland dancing? Like any sort of new approaches or? No, no, it's so anal. You have to do exact steps. So I did it from three to 18 years old. No one in our family is Scottish. I need to make this very clear. I look like my dad. I have my dad's body. I should not have been Highland dancing. Well, did it from three to 18 years old. No one in our family is Scottish.

I need to make this very clear. I look like my dad. I have my dad's body. I should not have been Highland dancing. Well, you could pass for Scottish, I bet. Well, not when you see me on stage with my nine and a half feet flopping around up there. Definitely should have been playing sports. Yeah.

Yeah. So what is competitive Highland dancing? So every weekend, like I would, every single, my mom would teach dancing. So after school, me and my sister would go to classes like three nights a week and then every weekend there's a competition. Like somewhere in Toronto or we'd drive to like the states like Michigan or Pennsylvania. So every single weekend, my whole life I remember

just getting up at like 5 a.m. Saturday morning helping with competitions. But is it a group of people? Yeah, it's a lot of people. It's like a pretty big, it's a very small in its own community but people who are in it, everyone kind of knows each other. I think Colin Farrell used to be a Highland people. It's a pretty big, it's very small in its own community, but people who are in it, everyone kind of knows each other. I think Colin Farrell used to be a Highland dancer.

Really? Yeah. I believe that he used to do, there wasn't a popular show. There was the River Dance, but that was Irish. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what is the difference?

Irish is like all turned in and Highland is all turned out and you use your arms in Highland dancing. And Irish, your arms are just down by their side the whole time. And it's just the legs going around? A lot of legs around so the Highland Dance is with the legs in the arms And you're flipping dancing over sword yeah, yeah, yeah, it's over sword. Yeah, there's a jig. There's a horn There's a lot of this is a little hornpipe. There's a lot of it's simple Yeah, it's very symbolic traditional very traditional very Scottish

games Say you threw rocks around too? I should have. I should have thrown the... You should have won for the Highland Games. I would have been way better at the Highland Games than dancing. With the log? Oh yeah, that's good. The caper toss, you throw it over.

I always would watch it and be like, you know my giant shoulders should be doing that. Rather than like busting out of my dance... ...kilt. My mom would have spent extra money. The kilts are expensive too. But I needed so much more material because I was so much larger than the other dancers.

Should not have been dancing. I don't know what to tell you. So your mom was forcing you to do this and you were the biggest kid on the line? I was quite big. Definitely big, biggest nose, biggest feet, biggest back. And I did not win. I was good when I was very small.

And then I hit puberty and then everything went down the drain. But how do you win? Like are there solo competitions? There's like different age groups. So you start like beginner, novice,ice premium. It's not always a group event It's always one person so you the individual you all do the same dance Yeah, four dances using one competition

Yeah, you all do the same dance and then a judge or three judges will judge you and then like the rank the scores What a fucking nightmare and you'll get first to sixth and the first like top three win like the trophies at the end What a sword Sometimes you get for idea actually yeah, actually, yeah. A lot of time, money. These friggin' dancers are making, I wanted to go back into it, because you make good money.

I think that you should open your special with it. Me just so out of breath going, okay, let's see. This is who I was. The worst dancer on the planet. It was bizarre, but that was my whole life. Like I danced nonstop. I hated it. Yeah, all the way through.

I liked it until I stopped, like, winning. And then I hated it. But your mom just forced you? Oh, yeah. So you were like... We'd help with the competition, so I'd, like, help announce. Sometimes I'd line up the other dancers. So she brought you into this knowing that you weren't the best dancer? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she just needed you to help? So constant humiliation. Constant humiliation. And she just needed you to help. So it's constant humiliation. Constant humiliation. And it's also embarrassing for her because my mom had like a really good dancer who won all the time. And she wanted her to be your daughter?

And I, oh for sure. Oh, I guarantee you she said she loved her before she said she loved me, 100%. But yeah, I was like, I'm not gonna be here. I'm never gonna be here. You gotta move on from this. But what is the future that one sees in Highland Dance? You become a teacher or a judge or an examiner.

So you never leave the world of the Highland Dance? Oh, it's sick. Is your mom still in it? Oh, yeah. Oh, my mom's still teaching, she's probably teaching right now. She literally wanted me and my sister to take over her dancing studio. What does your sister do?

She works at Parks and Rec in Toronto. Okay, so nobody? Nobody, no, we were like, get us the fuck out of here now. It was just the two of you? Yeah, and it's held because the dance moms are crazy I'm sure you've seen like dance all show moms are crazy. No matter what it is. No, they're crazy. So what you mean? There's per bagpipers who were perverts really? Oh, yeah, cuz every dance they there's a bagpiper on stage live music You got to open your special with this

And if you only merely turn it off the sound of bagpipes, nobody wants to hear that. It's hell, unless you're at a funeral. We always think it's dead, yeah, it just means someone's dead. Yeah, meat is coming out of a casket, and I'm dancing in my family's special. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So wait, there was a, the bagpipers were known perverts?

Some of them, yeah, yeah. Some of them, well there was one who like, he like fucked a bunch of moms, and like, oh yeah, like a home wrecker. Yeah. Oh, really? You know who you are if you're listening. I say his full name.

Yeah, there's a couple of like, sleepers. I just like the horror of being a man who's like, you fucked a bagpiper? Disgusting. But it's just like, you know, like. Actually, I think you'd be good at fingering though, because you're playing the change. I played for a year, didn't work.

I guess if your clit is six, seven inches long. Oh, yeah, it'd be nice. And some people might, I think all that dancing stretches it out. You're just bouncing up and down. I think it just takes a toll. There was, yeah, there was a lot of pervy dads too. That's where I became like, I think that's where I started to yell, because I yell at men a lot on stage.

I think I became there at a very young age. We had to like change quickly outfits in front of like, just being public. Like, the Highland Games, you're beside an arena, you're just taking your clothes off outside. And I would watch creepy dads look a little too long. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And by look a little too long, I mean, stand there and gawk. And these are women ages what to what? Like, seven to 14, 15. Yeah. And that's, you know. And that's where you developed your contempt. I think I did. And aggressive reaction, 15. Yeah. And that's where you developed your contempt. I think I did.

And aggressive reaction. Yeah, first thickened balls I ever saw was at a Highland Games. Was it under a kilt? Oh yeah, and he was standing in the bleachers and my friends like, look up, and I was so young. I think I was like seven and he was like swinging it around and he loved it.

We looked up and I was like, oh my God! And he's like shaking it, like he was, probably your age. Oh yeah, 60? Oh yeah, six year old pig, just getting started shaking it. Like, he was probably your age. Oh, yeah, 60? Oh, yeah, a six-year-old pig getting off once an eight-year-old was laughing at his junk. Disgusting. Was he a regular?

Yeah, he was probably in one of the pipe bands just getting ready to get his horns sucked later. Disgusting. So at least you developed a, you know, a point of view. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. From underneath the dick of balls, yeah, that was a point of view. I think that's why I'm so physical on stage too, is because of the dancing.

Of the dancing? Yeah. But I also think because of the type of comedy you do, like, you know, you gotta kind of like get in there. And you gotta, yeah, I think it powders it a bit. If I'm not like yelling about my pussy so much, but if I do a huge act out with it, it's like, oh, it's kind of cute.

Right, if you just stand still and casually deliver your pussy jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, people are gonna be like, what? But if you're like literally like, bleh! Then people have to reckon with you. I think they do.

It's just like, break the boundaries, fuck it. Yeah. Yeah. It is funny when I have to go up after you or Neil Brendan because it's such a different vibe. And watching the crowd like readjust at the store, especially, I love it. There's sometimes, like, you know,

something happened last night on stage, and I've been doing this for fucking all my life. For 40 fucking years or whatever. 38. Shit. But there's still this part of me, like, if someone's killing before me, there's still a part of me that just wants to,

I'm gonna ruin it. I'm gonna go up there, I'm not even gonna try to kill, I'm gonna undermine this entire evening. I have this part of me where it's sort of like, he just killed, so I could just go up there and just do my best, or I could be like, well, I don't know what I'm gonna do. And I did that, and I drove out of the comedy store,

and I'm like, what the fuck is wrong? Embarrassed, mad at myself. Because it's not like I tanked on purpose. But I think you get in your head too much, especially in that room. It's hard, I hate following fucking Bobby. Because Bobby crushes in a way that's stupid. And then I'm like, God, I have to go up there

and either match that energy. You can't do, it's hard to do that. Yeah, like I can never do that. I chose, at some point I realized like, well, you might have to eat it for a minute or two just to get them to come around. To your vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I think also, but you're at a point where everyone already knows and loves you. Kinda. So you can go up and people are like, they're excited to see you. About a third of the audience. I wouldn't say it's everybody. Okay.

It's more than a third. I've gone up after you. Cause I still have the thing where people don't know who I am. So they're like Steph's whole, and then people are kind of looking around, and I go up and I'm like, oh, my tits are, my ass are hairy.

And they're like, what is happening? And they're like, I hate this woman. Like I watch people go from hating me to like kind of warming up by the end. It's kind of fun though. Yeah, but like, I cross that line. What happens to me is like, my, the distance between my stage persona and my sadness

is very, very small. Right, so like, there's a fine line where I'm talking about my dad's dementia, to where like last night what happened is the audience, they just heard it as like, well, this is a sad story. And I'm like, no it's not, it's hilarious. You're not getting it.

Yeah, yeah, you're not seeing the right point of view. Isn't it humbling though to leave, there's so many times that lots of comedies are'm like, no it's not, it's hilarious. You're not getting it. Yeah, you're not seeing the right point of view. Isn't it humbling though to leave, there's so many times that lots of comedies are being like, well I'm not shit. I'm not fucking shit. It resets you. I get smug sometimes and be like, I'm killing. Yeah, this is a great week. Or when you do a set, well I don't know if you do that,

but if you do a set in two rooms, and the first one's great, and then you just go get humbled by the next one, just fucking terrible. Sometimes the main room does that to me. I'm like killing in the OR, I'm like ripping, just like riffing, I'm like, oh, I'm the fucking bad, then I dance at the main room, I'm like, oh, I'm a dog,

I'm a dog shit, I'm dog ass. I literally have done no jokes. The main room, it can be kind of weird, because I don't know what it is, but it's different expectations in there. I'm not know what it is, but it's different expectations in there. I'm not sure what it is. But sometimes you get out there and it's packed, and you gotta start over at the beginning of every joke

and earn it every fucking time. What is that? I don't really understand it. It's bizarre, because it makes me like the main room less, even though I know it's where everyone wants to be in. Is it? I don't know, I love the OR. The OR is great. It's my favorite room. Because the main room, sometimes everyone wants to be in, but I'm like, I don't know, I love the OR. The OR is great.

It's my favorite room. Because the main room, sometimes you can actually be like, all right, well I've got those hundred people over there. And then you look to the left or the right, you're like, nothing's happening. Like no one's laughing. No reactions. Yeah, it's what you're talking about.

Maybe it's too bright in there. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I just don't come together. The first time, my first set, I remember when I met you, I was told, so I asked about people at the store, because I was like, I was very new to the store, and I was like, cool.

When did you get past, like 2020, recently, right? Yeah, like a year and a half ago almost. Oh really, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was on the first show with you, and I remember I saw, you were the first person I saw, and I was like so excited, and you were standing, you were looking at the list, I'm like, hi, and you're like, hello, and I was like, oh fuck,

and I was like, no, I'm on the show with you, and you're like, mm-hmm. Oh come on. And I was like, it was my first night, and you're like, and then you kind of walked away, and I was like, oh'm on the show with you, and you're like, mm-hmm. Oh, come on. And I was like, it was my first night, and you're like, and then you kind of walked away, and I was like, oh, okay, so Mark Maron's not gonna like me. And I was like, fuck, god damn it.

But then after, and then I think I've met you a couple more times, I was like, okay, no, you were just probably going to go on stage. Exactly, yeah, he was thinking about me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now you're so nice, because I was so worried. There's been nobody I've really had issues with at the store.

And I thought I would. It's funny, I've been going there on and off all my life and I have issues with people. Yeah. I'm assuming I will. As of right now, I think I'm too. We're all fucking nuts. You know what I mean?

Everyone's insane. Oh, I'm sure people hate me. They just keep it to themselves. Really? I don't know, probably. It gets so catty. You know, like I said something on an Instagram Live that became a TikTok that didn't mention names

and everybody decided it was one person. And now I had to deal with that guy and he threw me under the bus on a podcast. And I'm like, I had to call this guy on the verge of tears and be like, I wasn't talking about you. Oh God. And now there's no, there's no going back. Oh, that's so catty.

It's so catty. We're all so sensitive too. No one realizes we're up there talking about whatever the fuck and then in person, I'm so sensitive. I cry all the time. Yeah, it's the worst. Because like, of course we're sensitive

and we're socially inept. And you know, we've chosen this life where it's all on us and you know, we don't need anybody else. And we're just a bunch of babies, angry, catty babies, jealous, resentful, competitive. I know, what is that? I mean, it does help us, I think, get further by having all that.

Spite? Oh yeah, my whole career's been my spite. Mine too, mine too. Every piece of it has been my spite. From my first manager, the calls began with me going like, how the fuck did that guy get that? What am I doing? Everything. Yeah, and then that went on for 25 years.

It's still going on. I still see something, I'm like, really, they got that? And then I'm like, I have to calm down and be thankful for what I have. But I'm like, oh yeah, my spites started, because in Toronto, two of the main bookers hated me and I was like, oh really, I'm shit? I'll show you.

And now I'm like, when I go past the store, I was such a caddy bitch, I almost named them in my big thank you post. My manager's like, take the names out. Everyone knows who you're talking about, take the fucking names out. Oh really? Yeah, see that's the thing, it's good that you have,

now I have a producer that does it. I do these interviews and I send them to him, and then he's like, I'm not putting that in there. He's my conscience, he's my, don't leave yourself that in there. He's like, he's my conscience. He's my, like, you know, like, don't leave yourself vulnerable to that. But my entire career, I was talking about this with somebody yesterday,

that you don't realize, you know, sometimes for years why you didn't get anything. And it's sometimes just because one fucking person doesn't like you. Oh yeah. And you're fucked. Yep. Depending where they are,

whether it's a club owner or an executive. And then you find that out years after the fact, and you still hate them. Oh yeah, oh, I still hate both of bookers in Toronto, and I want them to fucking know that how much I fucking hate them. But you don't need them anymore. Oh God, no, I would never do those fucking clubs.

They'd suck my ass, are you kidding me? It's crazy, it is insane how just one person, and it could have been anything, it could have been like a party, you said something weird or whatever the fucking is. Nothing, yeah, exactly. Or something they heard, you think, they said something you didn't say, something about them, like whatever, yeah. And those are have been anything. It could have been a party, you said something weird, or whatever the fuck it is. Or something they heard, you think they said something you didn't say, something about them, like whatever.

And those are the gatekeepers. But now there's not that many gatekeepers. You kind of do your own thing. Yeah, there's two. And I think at this point now, we can do our own specials, we can do our own, it's all social media, it doesn't matter. It's kind of nice to see those little Napoleons

just kind of die. They have no thrust anymore. Oh, it's nice. I get off when I see people that told me no, they get fired from their job. I have like little parties, little celebrations. I go out and party with my friends. Half my text threads cannot be leaked

because I would never get work again in the city. Oh, really? So I was like trying to hack out my phone right now. We're naming names in those group threads. Yeah, well yeah, you got to, right? But that's been a liability. I like to think that I'm very, if someone pisses me off, I'm gonna say something to them

and name them, I don't give a fuck. The hell do I care? Well, I feel the same way, but who can you really trust? You can't trust anybody. Right, so you're gonna blast away and you think you're talking to like a kindred spirit or whatever, and then they just go tele-casualty to somebody, and then it goes right up the chain.

I was banned from Comedy Central for years for a fucking joke, for a fucking joke, and I didn't even know about the extent of it until recently. Oh my. It's fucking nuts. Ha ha ha. What was the joke? Well... Do you remember it?

I remember the whole thing. And the only reason I know what happened was because this guy who was at Comedy Central for years, when it mattered, you know, when Comedy Central was, like, important, this guy Kent Alterman used to run it over there. And his boss was this guy back in the day named Doug Herzog. So here's what happens. And it's like, I can't, I'm no good at roasting,

because for some reason, when I take a shot, it goes in and it stays there, right? So, all right, so here's what happens. Comedy Central back in the, what was it, like maybe the mid-90s, had been taken over entirely by Viacom. Viacom was MTV. It used to be half HBO, half Viacom, and there was, you know.

So, Doug Herzog and Eileen Katz were at MTV. They built MTV into what it was. And now they're at Comedy Central. They take over. And like that first week, you know, I was doing a show at a comedy club, and for some reason it was like mostly Comedy Central people were there in the audience.

Like a whole audience of just employees of all kinds, a party of some kind because of the shift in whatever. So I get on stage and I say, well, I'm really excited that Eileen and Doug came over from MTV to Comedy Central because I think all television should look like a round-the-clock pie-eating contest. That was a joke.

That's not even bad. No, it's a good joke. It's a good joke, but it's actually light. Yeah. And apparently, like a week later, at the first corporate retreat, Doug Herzog was like, no Mark Maron on our network. Oh my god.

For that joke? That joke. It just really cut him. Wow. And to this day, when I've seen him, and he's all fucking mad now, and of course, he has a podcast of some kind. And he's polite. but when I see him,

I can tell that that's there. There's still something, that's fucked. That's there. That's wild. It's crazy. That's how it happens, you know what I mean? It's like Lenny Bruce, apparently it wasn't so much about what he was saying, it was because he pissed off

a judge, and all the judges were out to get him. That's wild. Yeah, isn't that wild? I gotta keep my mouth shut. Maybe, I'm here to teach you me. all the judges were out to get him. That's wild. Yeah, is that wild? I gotta keep my mouth shut. Maybe. Maybe, I'm here to teach you me. My problem is I sometimes, those commons tend to parties, I would get a little too,

have a couple too many wobbly pops, get nervous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I would. And then just start doing it? Well, apparently I got a little handsy with one of the executives who doesn't work there anymore. I thought he was a gay man.

Yeah. So in my head I'm like, I'm being funny and cute. Yeah. And then when my manager was like, I think you should my head, I'm like, I'm being funny and cute. And then when my manager was like, I think you should leave. And I was like, excuse me? And then I was like, I stole a pillow. I thought I was hilarious. And then I still have it on my couch right now.

And then I got home the next morning, and I had projectiles everywhere. And I had somehow, I was wearing a big... You had dominated everyone? Oh yeah, and I was wearing a dress. I was like, I have a really tight neck and long. And I had leaves all in my bra. And I was like, how did that happen?

What the fuck was I doing to get leaves from like, the dress was long. How the fuck did I get a bunch of, where are the leaves in Los Angeles? Dry leaves. And you woke up in the dress? Woke up in the dress and the leaves and barf everywhere and the photos come out and, uh,

oh, I was handsy. I had, oh, I had, I had to call him and be like, I'm really sorry. I didn't want to say, I thought you were a gay man, but I'm like, I'm really sorry. I, every photo is me like rubbing his shoulders or like his lower back. Like I was being a pervert. Yeah, yeah. Like I'm, I'm getting really sorry. Every photo was me rubbing his shoulders or his lower back. I was being a pervert.

Yeah, yeah. I'm getting me too. A predator, yeah, yeah. Oh, big predator, big predator. But I was like, in my head, I'm like, he's gay and he loves it. No, no, no, we're buddies now, it's fine. Everything's okay?

Yeah, but I was like, yeah. Did it happen though, between you and? No, nothing happened. Oh, I went home hammered. Oh no, no, nothing happened, God no, God no. My manager put me in a fucking Uber. And that's not the first time, the other time we did the, what was it, Clusterfest Festival.

And I bombed so, it was in San Francisco. It's not happening anymore. It was a Comedy Central festival. Clusterfest? Oh, yeah. I bombed so bad, I got off stage, and I went to a dive bar, and I drank, oh, I don't know, six drinks alone.

Oh, yeah. My manager had to come get me. It was like, I was so embarrassed. She's like, go to the fucking CVS, put on your fucking makeup, and act like a fucking person and get back to that fucking thing right now. I was like, oh, and she's not like that at all. And I was like, oh, okay.

So I put everything back on, and then apparently, apparently the executive was like, am I set? The crowd hated it, I bombed my dick off. But the executives are loving it. I'm like, okay. So I get way too carried away when I think I bomb and then I drink to cope, and then I'm like, I made a huge mistake here. carried away when I think I bomb and I drink to cope and then I'm like, I made a huge mistake here.

And then you talk. Like, here's my problem. If I say shit about other people, my brain tries to justify it as like, I'm just being honest. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm not trying to talk shit,

but I'm being honest. Is it talking shit if you're on a public platform like this? Yeah. Oh, is it? Oh, no, no, no. I'm just talking about these little things that happen when you just, because if I go through certain phases

where I think I'm above this shit, I tried to train myself. It's got nothing to do with you. You didn't get this, you didn't get that, that guy's bigger, this woman's doing, whatever. It's got nothing to do with you, just mind your own lane. But then like, if a little insecurity happens,

like that fucker, you know about that fucker? You know, I'm just like. Oh, always, yeah. And then you're scrolling on fucking Instagram, I see one thing, it pisses you off. It's too much. Yeah, yeah, oh fuck. It's all hell.

We're gonna be all right. We're gonna be fine. Yeah, yeah, so, okay, so how do you break free of the dance? Of the dance? How do you break free of the Highland dance? I wanted to be an actress, that was the big thing. A comedic actress, my goal was SNL. And that's-

When did that happen? How old were you? I think I was in high school, I was grade nine. So you were doing that kind of stuff? I was doing plays in high school, yeah. You would be a great comedic actress. Yeah, I was doing all the comedic plays and shit. Well, I'm in Bill Burstow's new movie,

but I mean I fart and I burp in it, it's my biggest, my biggest- In the dad's movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw actress. Yeah, I was doing all the comedic plays and shit. I'm in Bill Burr's new movie. I mean, I fart and I burp in it. It's my big, my big one. In the dad's movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that, yeah, I remember. I fart, I burp and, classic me. Yeah, Bill's like, I know how to use her. Yeah, so literally Bill's like,

I wrote you into this role. I was like, no kidding. No kidding, it seems very easy for me to play this. I literally showed up, that was actually hilarious. The wardrobe lady called me and she's like, Bill said that whatever you're wearing right now is probably what you're gonna be wearing on set. And I took a photo and she's like, yeah, bring that exact outfit.

I was like, jeans, cut off shorts, and like a loose fucking Harley Davidson tee. Stupid. But yeah, I wanted to act and then I went to, I auditioned for like four acting schools in Toronto. At a high school? At a high school and I didn't get any of them. Really?

Oh yeah, big no's. And then there was one program called the Comedy Writing and Performance Program, a college, two year college program. Pretty much a clown college. Literally a clown college? I mean, it's like comedy writing and performance. That was it.

We had a voice class, an improv class, so I got into that. Were there actual clown classes? There was a clown class, which was my favorite class. I'm fascinated with that shit. Oh, it was the best fucking class I've ever taken. Yeah. It was wild. Like, what happened?

OK, this was the craziest thing. And I going into all this clown shit, I never believed any of this, like, trust your instincts type thing. Whatever. So Mike Canaro was his name. I had the hot storm too. It was probably creepy.

I was like, volunteering, Mike. He's like, OK, Steph, there's other people in the class. Please get off me. But we did this thing where he would draw. We all stood in the back of the room, and we closed our eyes. He's like, I, Steph, there's other people in the class, please get off me. Um, but we did this thing where he like would draw, we also the back of the room and we closed our eyes, he's like, I'm going to draw an invisible line in the middle of the, of the floor. Yeah.

So he put like two shoes on either side. He's like, there's a lie in the floor. Don't open your eyes. He's like, trust your instincts, walk forward and back, and then when you feel like you're on the line, stop. Everybody who like gave into the exercise all ended up on the line.

Huh. And it was so bizarre. It wasn't like straight line, it was on a diagonal. Okay. So we all opened our eyes and we were like, what the fuck? And he's like, we were like, exercise all ended up on the line. And it was so bizarre, it wasn't like straight line, it was on a diagonal. So we all opened our eyes and we were like, what the fuck? And he's like, we're like, oh, we're on the line. So it was just such a weird way of learning

to really trust your gut and how you feel inside. So basic with no, like there was no real requirements other than just sense it. Literally sense it. And he was really, we learned a lot in that class. So that's interesting. But somehow or another that puts the wiring in that you can trust your instinct.

Yeah. What other stuff you do in clown class though? I don't know, I was too busy looking at his ass. Yeah. But was it quiet? Could you talk? Yeah, you talk. We do a lot of exercise where we just kinda walk around

and just try physical stuff. And we try stuff where we just pick like a sound or we make different characters of things we wanna do. and then we eventually put the noses on and stuff. But there was like, we sketch writing classes with the nose on. The noses, I mean, barely fit on mine, but the nose was on there just dangling off. The noses were on, but it was like a two year, at the time I was like not caring about the course. But it's so fascinating to me because even at 60 when I think like I'm not good enough,

you know, I should take a clown class. If you took a clown class, I would pay to watch. I swear to God you walking on the clown nose people would flood that glass. It would be so funny watching you just like walk because you get like you get into super like Pick like an emotion. Yeah, you'd go off one emotion. Yeah, you just be crying. Yeah Every every every emotion would be crying but physicality would be different. Yeah, it time. Yeah. Every emotion would be crying, but physicality would be different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be crazy.

Oh, he's crying. Oh, he's crying. They're still tears. His arm's overhead. He's still crying. Don't worry. He's still sad. Because I have to...

Do you, like, when you do bits, are you conscious of physicality in terms of... No. So you just do it. Which is weird. Yeah, I have a... Ever since I started doing standup, the second I walk on stage,

I kind of, my mind kind of opens and I just kind of, because I'm not planning, I'll re-watch my stats, I'm like, what the fuck was I doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Psychotic shit. Yeah.

But I was like, I don't think, I'm not planning like put my arm here or walk over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's very bizarre. Because like I started to get like jealous of like guys who are just naturally physically funny in timing-wise. Yeah.

Like, not talking. I mean, I move around. But dudes who do funny things with their body, I'm like, I gotta try that. And in the last special, I spent months timing out physical beats for a bit, and I was like, that's how you do it. That's how you do it. I figured it all out. No, I feel like it's really bizarre. And sometimes, honestly, there's like times where I wish I wasn't so physical because my back is fucked.

Really? Oh yeah, I have to stretch like crazy when we're on stage. Because you're like, I've done, stylistically, I've explored some of what you do. I've done the edge of the lip of the stage crouch. Yeah, I love to say, oh yeah, a lot of leg up. Where you're in them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, pussy's right in their mouth.

A lot of, I do a lot of like foot on the stool, a lot of deep squats. You do the foot on the monitor, if there's a monitor, sure. Oh yeah, I prefer the stool. Leaning, yeah. It would really be back there and really let the puss out.

But it's really, yeah, at the end of a set, and like I'm doing hours in the road, and I'm sweating. Yeah. And I'm sick, huge pit stains in the jumpsuit. Oh, I'm doing hours in the road, and I'm sweating. Yeah. And I'm sick, I'm in huge pit stains in the jumpsuit. Oh, that's great. It's disgusting. And the meet and greet, I stink.

I'm just like standing there winking. Putting your stinky arms around people. Yeah, gross. And you do the meet and greet? Oh, I do the meet and greet. Yeah. I'm a nice, I don't think I'm at that level, and I do the meet and greet.

I used to sweat, but somehow that went away. If I'm sweating, it means like, you know, my body's like telling me that I'm, you're not doing well. Oh yeah, it's like flop sweat? Totally. Like last night, it was like a 15 minutes that I probably did 22. I'm starting to realize like,

when am I gonna be scolded for that? Do you go over? A little bit, not a lot. Okay. But like, I just, I never regulate that light to the three minute line. Okay. There's one person that always goes over.

Argus? No, I'm sure he does, I know he does, but there's somebody else who goes over a lot. Oh yeah, like a lot? Every time I follow him, he goes over. Like what, 25? Yeah. Oh.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I'd do that. I think I top out at maybe 22. I didn't know you went over, yeah, I don't think I've ever noticed you. That's because I'm so entertaining. That's what I mean. And nobody notices, but the person following me.

It's applause after applause after applause. No one notices but Neil Brennan. Neil always does. Neil is so professional. Very tight. So tight, always has new jokes. Very fun to watch. That's what he does.

He's a joke craftsman. He is a joke craftsman. He stands right up there, straight. See, I get jealous of people like that. I'm like, that's talent. I'm up there just literally, I'm a clown. I'm like, what am I doing? I'm a spewer too.

These guys that sit at home and write jokes, I'm like, well, I don't even know how to do that. I can't do that. I mean, I've been doing this almost 40 years. I'm like, what do you mean write a joke? If they don't happen on stage and magically build themselves, it's not gonna happen. Yeah, but that's so nice we can do that at the store

and have that like... I have to do it everywhere. I'll go do a month at Dynasty Typewriter just to talk and then start to see if anything happens funny. But you have few fans that wanna come watch you do that. They'll put up with it. Yeah. But it's nice.

But here's what I realized that I'm fighting with now just at the point in my career is like, I've done like so many specials. And when I look back at them in terms of subject matter I realized like I'm just saying the same shit in different ways Over and over again, but isn't that what everyone's doing? That's what someone says to me That's like somebody made an example of a musical act where you know Obviously one day you realize that you're just doing the same, a different version of the same song. Yeah, but it's like people like that and that's who you are.

Well, you're like, I wanna ruin it. I wanna push them away. Here, I'll help you do some psychophysical shit. You come on just being your next special, you're just on an insane physical comedy. Yeah, yeah, that'd be good. Bending over, doing full flips, a lot of arms.

So when did the, so you do the comedy writing college, but did you learn anything in the two year program? Not really, no, I met friends. I met really good friends I'm still solid friends with, and I met my sketch partner, Allison. We were in an improv shoot for years. Do I know her? No, no, she's in Canada.

Yeah? But yeah, we did, yeah, we did. I was in an improv shoot with four girls called the Dumb Cunts for five years. So I did improv and sketch first. The Dumb Cunts lasted five years. Yeah, yeah improv and sketch first. The dumb cunts lasted five years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we turned into a group called Lady Stash

and then it just ended up being two of us. So I've been doing sketch comedy just as a duo with her for 15 years. So what was, now maybe you can tell me if this is true or not. I don't know, I've got this theory recently because I'm watching, you know, there are a lot of new people are coming around.

And if they're not at the store, I generally don't see them that much. But there's a lot of new people around. And I'm noticing that, and maybe I'm wrong, but I talked about this with Jacqueline Novak, that there was a period there where young women comics would kind of do some version, if they wanted to be dirty, they would do some version of Sarah, really,

like Silverman, yeah, cute and dirty. But it seems like over the last few years that there was some aggressive filth coming out of the ladies these days. And I'm excited about it, but I started to realize it's like, because guys can't really pull it off anymore without getting some sort of flack. But when women are just balls to the wall filthy, people are like, holy fuck. I mean, they may not like it, but there's a freedom to it. There's a freedom to it. I think women are finally, I don't know, being themselves.

Like, I'm not trying to be dirty. I'm not thinking, I'm not going through, talk with pussy, I'm already thinking about gross shit. I'm a fucking pervert. I've been a pervert for a long time. I'm a horn dog, all I think about is sex. I tried to fuck a boyfriend this morning before I left the house.

I'm like, get up, I had to do Marry's podcast, let me suck your dick. Like, I'm disgusting. So I'm like, get up, I had to do Marry's podcast, let me suck your dick. Like I'm disgusting. So I'm like, I'm trying to let you... Did he wet you? No, he was still sleeping. I was like, what, is this a salt? I'm getting me too wet by my boyfriend in my own bed.

Like, this is crazy. But I think women are finally realizing that we're allowed to fucking talk like we actually talk. I hate when people are like, every female girl, oh another woman talking about sex. Yeah, we all fucking talk about sex. I hate when people are like, every female girl, oh another woman talking about sex. Yeah, we all fucking talk about sex. I hate that fucking whole bunch of people. But just being judged on that standard, dudes have been talking about sex forever

and then for a long time I was like, well what is she gonna talk about her period? And now you talk about sex and you're still getting shit. It's the same thing, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what a fucking woman says in line, it's gonna be that same fucking thing. It's so fucking annoying, but I'm like, yeah, women, we are very sexual beings.

Maybe more sexual than men. Of course we're gonna fucking talk about this shit. It's what we're thinking about, it's what fucking annoying, but I'm like, yeah, women, we are very sexual beings. Maybe more sexual than men. So of course we're gonna fucking talk about this shit. It's what we're thinking about, it's what we're all doing. It's bizarre when people get so mad at it. I get so pissed. Well, I think that there's just a type of man and a type of woman trained by that type of man who don't accept women talking like that.

Or behaving like that. So I have this new joke where I ask people if they fart in front of their husbands. It's such a fucking rare thing that people do. And every show, there's at least one woman, this just happened in fucking Rochester last weekend, and I was like, do fart in front of your husband. She goes, he gets fucking pissed.

And then she got kind of upset. He's like, no, I don't. And he's like, I can't do it. Every time I do it, he gets so fucking mad at me. And then I could tell they got very tense, both of them. And I was like, oh, fuck. What did you do? I'm like, I can't do it. Every time I do it, he gets so fucking mad at me. And then like, I could tell like they got very tense. Both of them. I was like, oh fuck. You know, what did you do?

I'm like, what'd you do? And there's a couple in Florida where the husband was like, I don't let her. And I was like, Jesus Christ. Like this is crazy. This is such a, this is a stupid thing, but it's like such a weird thing that men don't let women fart.

Like what are we talking about here? So I can see that one was gonna talk about like sex stuff. They'll be like, my word. This isn't my lady. My boyfriend is very, he came from... Is he comic? No. He's an actor, comedic actor, very funny. But he came from a family of nine born-again Christians. No farting?

No farting. His mom this weekend was like, I never once farted in front of my husband. I was like, excuse me? Oh, you had that conversation? Oh yeah. I fart all the time. She's like, really? I'm like, oh yeah. And then Jefferson, my full name, Jefferson, he's like, yeah,? Oh, you had that conversation? Oh yeah, and I'm like, I fart all the time. She's like, really? I'm like, oh yeah, and then Jefferson, my girlfriend, full name, Jefferson, he's like, yeah, I don't love it.

I'm like, you don't love it? This morning? He's like, are you farting again? I'm like, I will fart in your mouth if I want to. Let me fucking fart. I'm like, I'm just not used to this, my whole family farted my whole life. I'm not used to this weird, it's bizarre.

Do your girlfriends fart in front of you? They have. Okay. But I don't have any problem with it, but it seems like sometimes the women I've been with, you know, they, one of them farted a lot, and one of them didn't draw attention. Is there a difference between farting and going like,

hey? Yeah, I mean, I'm not, I mean, I am doing that, but mostly because I fart so much that I have to make it seem like it's funny and cute. Well, that's the problem. It's like, you know, I fart too, and- Everyone farts, but it's just, I don't know why. But if you're a gassy person,

you can't be in a relationship like that. I remember somebody did a joke. Who the fuck was it? There was some guy who did a joke where you he would have to go outside That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, it's a human thing. A lot of these women do they go in the bathroom They put the sink on they fart like a hand towel. It's it's insane what people are doing to avoid this Yeah, and cuz men just game. I don't know cause men just getting mad and all. It's a global problem. I think it's a global problem. And maybe you just have to be raised in a Bulgarian family where nobody gives a shit.

My dad was always like, oh, he's got one on reserve. And he'd fart, literally. If we call my dad right now, I swear to God he'd fart. Like he's, it's almost too much. Maybe we were medically, something's wrong with us now when I'm thinking about it. I go through farty periods and I have to figure out why. Right now I'm in a non-farty period. I'm very thinking about it. I go through farty periods, and I have to figure out why. Right now I'm in a non-farty period.

I'm very happy about it. No farts at all? No, no, I fart, but there are times where, like, I don't know, I think it was because I was doing these nicotine lozenges, but now I'm just doing the pouches, but the lozenges, there's something about what they're made with that just made me gassy as fuck. And there's just nothing, like, you know, I don't mind farting, but like if it's gonna be bad.

Yeah, I don't, I'm not like I'm trying to make that fart. But then you kind of both gotta sit in it and something has to be said, and you have to break the ice. Something has to be said. He got so mad at me last night, cause I kept farting, and then he's like, that's it, you have one minute to get them all out.

I'm like, one minute? You can't, time constraint my ass. I can't just do this in a minute. This is crazy. And he started pushing my stomach. I'm like, this is not how they work. Also, we've been traveling with the airport food. That's the problem. The traveling, the airplane, I can't pour.

Turbulence gives me gas. I think I made that up. But I don't know if it's because- You don't fart on the plane? That's my favorite part to see how quickly it'll be sucked into the HVAC. Like, you know. And who are they gonna blame?

Like, I always think like, they're not gonna blame you. They're not gonna blame you. I think I look like a furter. So people know it's me. There's no way I can, everyone's like, it's her, 14D, I can see her fucking mustache from here. That's a guy in first class saying that. 14D, all the way back up to the plane.

Yeah, I actually got on a fucking plane today and I saw Jessanuk on it and he smug walks up into first class like he owns a fucking plane. I'm like, you piece of shit. I was jealous, that's why. I was in business class, but still. He does that when he walks anywhere. I know, I was so mad.

It's just him, you know? I remember when he told me, he's like, I'm never flying Koji again. Well, and here's what I always get mad every time I see somebody more famous than me on a plane. I'm like, if this goes down, no one's. You're gonna get the headline. You're gonna get nothing. Sucks, every time, I always go, by spelling the song once on it, Ron Funch is on a plane, I'm like, if this goes down, no one's... They're gonna get the headline. They're gonna get nothing. Sucks, every time, I always go,

by spelling the song once on it, Ron Funch is on the plane, I'm like, I'm fucked. I think you and Ron would share the bill. Okay. In news today, comics both... Two young comics. Two young comics that no one really knew. No, people know Ron.

Who's Ron? I always feel that way when you're flying back from festivals, especially big festivals. It's like, part of me is like, this plane Ron, but Ron. I always feel that way when you're flying back from festivals, especially big festivals. It's like, part of me is like, this plane is not going down. There's just too many of us on here. There's a lot of famous people, there's a lot of not so famous people.

Are you first class? You seem like you're first class. I do now, yeah. That is something, I don't spend money. I hold onto money like a comic who's still making, wondering if he can pay rent. It's just a mindset. So I don't really spend money that much.

So, but there are things I know I can do without freaking out. One is eat anywhere. And the other is fly first class usually. But sometimes it's like so expensive and that part of my brain is sort of like, what the fuck am I getting? It's, it's, it's-

I'll fly business. Yeah, business. I'll do business. Yeah. I'm not doing 1200, I'm up there. There's a guy beside me. And the people that are in first class these days, slobs.

I'm sitting beside a guy who had one tooth, the other one's hanging off, and he had prison tattoos, he kept coughing, not covering his mouth, he had a weird smell. This was in first? Oh yeah, right there in first. Or business. Big dirty boots in first.

Business? No, first. I get bumped up sometimes. I had the bumps, yeah. Yeah, I remember the bumps. Do I have the points? Can I get the upgrade? Waiting at the gate? Yeah, like an idiot, like a sad loser.

Yeah, and then you can't get your bag on because you fucking rolled the dice. And then you got to check it. I hate that. I'm still selling merch. Do you know how embarrassing it is to lug my merch around? I've tried so many things with the merch before. Especially if you're going to sell T-shirts,

because then you got to have all the sizes. So then, what the fuck are you gonna do? And how much are you gonna really make, because you don't wanna, and then there was the idea of shipping them ahead. Like, I'm not big, I'm not driving, I'm not on a bus, I don't have a fucking road manager. You know what I mean?

And it's just like meeting the fucking boxes at the hotel. And then, it's a fucking nightmare. It's embarrassing. It is a little embarrassing. It is embarrassing. Just lugging those stuff in. You know what I'm saying, here's, embarrassing. It is a little embarrassing. It is embarrassing. Just lugging those stuff in. I'll give you a merch tip. Posters.

Like if you're gonna go somewhere and you have fans, and I imagine some of them are creative, just put word out on whatever, on the podcast or whatever, and just be like, if anyone wants to design a poster who lives in Michigan or whatever, send me the artwork, I'll pay you for the artwork. And then you just either they'll run them off or you run them off.

People just wanna leave with something. So you know, you paint a buck, buck 50 a poster, you sell them for 20, you sign them in the meeting greet. Oh, I love this. And it costs nothing. And it's just a stack of paper. Yeah, yeah, I need this. Right?

I'm lugging hats, I'm lugging beanies, I'm lugging. Beanies. Oh, I said, I love t-shirts, sweaters, hoodies. Come on, hoodies? I got hoodies, this is crazy. What, and's sweaters, hoodies. Come on, hoodies? I got hoodies. This is crazy. What, and you bring it all with you on the plane?

No, no, yeah. I do a checked bag. But how many of them? I do my camera. So I have my giant fucking camera on my backpack and then I have my merch all checked. What's the camera for? Film clips.

For the TikTok? Yes, even though I'm shadow banned on TikTok right now because TikTok hates my big fat pussy. They're not, I'm not allowed to say anything on there. It's crazy. Are you successful on that thing? I was, and now I've been shadow banned for like three months now, so nothing I-

You can't, you don't have a hookup? I got no hookup at TikTok. Oh. I got nothing. Are you doing your own TikToks? Oh yeah, do it all. Really? I do everything, yeah. So you're of that generation? I guess so.

Like that's another thing about the Asia, madam. Like, I can't, you know, like, there's some part of me that's always sort of desperate in thinking that, like, you know, I gotta, I need to be bigger. But it's over. It's over. I've hit my ceiling. It's okay. I mean, you know, I'm in a good place.

Yeah, you're in a good place. Yeah, but when TikTok happens, I'm like, do I gotta get on there? And then I decide, you know, I gotta get on there. And then I, Jezzalyn looks like, I got a guy. I'm like, do I gotta get on there? And then I decide, you know, I gotta get on there. And then I, Jezzalyn looks like, I got a guy. I'm like, what's he, okay, let me have that guy. Well, you're also, you're not even filming this.

So this, this would be a TikTok. This would be a clip from this. Yeah, that could, that's not a bad idea, not to do it since I don't do a video podcast to have actually bits and pieces of it. But what am I gunning for? I don't- You don't need TikTok.

Also TikTok is not good for sales, for ticket sales. So there's literally, I don't know what you'd want TikTok for. It don't need TikTok. Also, TikTok is not good for sales, for ticket sales. So there's literally, I don't know what you'd want to talk for. It's not? No, I make, I get, I'd say every weekend I maybe have 5% of my sales from TikTok. It's all Instagram. Instagram? All Instagram. I seem to have crapped out on Instagram.

Like I was doing these like lengthy IG lives all through COVID and I was getting like 20, 30,000 hits. Oh shit. And I kind getting like 20, 30,000 hits. Oh shit. And I kind of like stopped doing them. But like I did a live like last week and I hadn't done one like a month and it got like 2000. I'm like, I'm out. Yeah, I was about to put that.

I'm out. You're posting reels, aren't you? You got no reels? Well, I mean, they all become reels now, don't they? Okay. I think. No, not your lives. No?

Well, oh yeah, so I gotta do little reels. How long do you, how long are the reels? Minute, minute 30. You want a sweet spot between 30 and 45 seconds. You do stand up? Yeah, I do crowd work clips and I do sketch, so I post that shit. And you think that sells tickets?

Yeah, I literally, I've been posting these stupid gym videos of my boyfriend, it's so stupid. I was like, I'm gonna spot you, and then I literally just put my pussy in his eyes, and people are like, eeeh. Two of our videos went viral in the last two weeks, it's so stupid. I'm glad you know you're fans.

Oh, I know my fans. They're in the war. My fans are all right now sweating, eating a foot long sub with no pants on. I know my fans. Because I'd be doing that if I was at home right now. I am my fans. Yes.

But the problem is I'm crazy. I'm so anal with my social media. I literally have, this morning I woke up and I wrote down this week's posting schedule. So I have, I set my alarm. So I hit job. Oh yeah, I set my alarm every morning for my this week's posting schedule So I have like I had I set my job Oh, yeah, I set my alarm every morning for my time to post the best time to post 9 a.m. Pacific Monday Wednesday Friday That's it. That's what I think that's for my especially for mine Monday Wednesday Friday 9 a.m. Pacific Especially yeah, cuz 9 a.m. Good for you here cuz it's noon in the East Coast. Yeah, so that's all right lunchtime

They're a good time for people waking up looking at their phones. I just shoot reels So I What does that mean? So when you put it put the Instagram on it gives you a choice of live Once you're really acting your age right now So you open Instagram the app and then you click on the Real yeah And you click on the, what the fuck is this? Real. Yeah, you click on the real. And then you do a thing.

But you're not filming your sets at the store. I never see you film. No, I don't. Bloody you guys don't. In the OR especially, there's a little place to put your phone up. I film every set I do in there. Just to have it, to see what happens.

And I usually have, because I do crowd stuff, so I usually have at least one or two crowd interactions from every show. And you put them up? Yeah, edit that, put it in the caption thing, get the captions, you need the captions on there, then you put it back in Instagram. Where do you put the captions on?

There's a special caption app. Oh, a separate thing? It's all separate. The captions in the Instagram isn't very good, it doesn't get the timing properly, and the way aesthetically it doesn't look like. But the... You're already getting flustered,

you still don't even know what a fucking reel is. I'm telling you this morning, I'm like, I'm out. And now I'm talking to you, I'm like, I'm back in it. I'm back in, baby. I literally was up this morning editing a video of me and the Blue Man Group. Like, that's what I was doing. I literally did a sketch with the Blue Man Group. It's insane.

In real life? Oh yeah, no, exactly. You were out in Vegas? Yeah, last time I was there. Yeah. And you just asked him? I'm actually one of my best friends is a Blue Man. Oh, really?

Yeah, he actually went to the same college as me. He got kicked out of that college. The two-year thing? Yeah. He got kicked out of the college for what? What did the Blue Man get kicked out for? He was on Accutane, and he got like fucking crazy. What is Accutane?

Like it's like a... Accument, I've heard of that, yeah, yeah. He was just like sleeping weird hours up too late. Yeah. And then he just kept sleeping through class and not going. And they're like, you're out of here. And then he went and auditioned for the Blue Man Group that same year he got kicked out.

And he's been there for 21 years. Wow. I know it's crazy. He's like a Blue Man veteran. He is, yeah. He's been everywhere, Boston, Chicago. Is there any downside to the makeup and the hair? Yeah, yeah, it's horrible for your skin. Yeah.

You have hair. Okay. They all wear bald caps. Oh, it's bald caps? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's good to know. But they paint their dick in balls blue. Just to be a good character.

You actually believe that for a second, you imagine? Like, really? Maybe I haven't seen the show in a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really, that seems like a bizarre thing they do, but yeah, yeah, they- But they might've added a thing. Maybe that's their blue show.

It's out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's their blue show. Yeah, yeah, they do the family show and then the late night one is- Yeah, the blue man, blue balls. Yeah. But Yeah, yeah, they do the family show and then the late night one is it? Yeah, the blue man, blue balls. Yeah. But so, okay, so after the sketches, like were you successful with the,

what was it, Five Cunts? No, not really. Improv, This Tale, Dumb Cunts, and the Lady's Fashion. And we, no, me and Allison, we did a lot of festivals and stuff, but like nothing. And then at the same time I was doing stand-ups. So then I started getting more into stand-up.

And from the beginning, what was the angle? Was it always you? Or did you write jokes in the beginning? Yeah, I wrote jokes in the beginning. And then once Alice and I started doing sketch, we were kind of like a Farley and Spade thing. Like, she was a straight man. I was like the... The crazy? Yeah, the crazy. But she's also a very funny straight man,

so it worked very well. And then, yeah, then I realized I really wanted to move to LA, and then I was on hold for a pilot out here when I was... 29? How'd you get cast? You got the manager in Canada? Um, no, they were doing this thing where they were going around. NBC was trying to cast a new sketch show. I don't know why, they already had one that was doing pretty well. Yeah.

And then I was the only person in Canada to get picked, and then I got flown out to LA for a week long, like we wrote a whole new sketch show. And then everyone from NBC came and watched it, and I was like, I'm out to LA for a week long. Like we wrote a whole new sketch show. And then everyone from NBC came and watched it. And I was like, I'm moving to LA. And then I moved here. And then everybody on that project got fired. And then I was like, I've made a huge mistake.

All my friends moved to New York, all my comic friends. I was out here. I had like maybe two or three friends out here. I knew nobody. It's hard to start comedy here again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In New York, you kind of just fold in. Yeah.

And there's a lot of, I don't know, by the time you got here, what year? What was it, nine years ago? So you don't really fit into the alt thing. But I was doing alt. Oh good. Made no sense. I couldn't get into the clubs. Yeah.

I couldn't get into any of the fucking clubs. I couldn't get, I'd go to this fucking Sunday open mic at the improv, I never got fucking picked once. I sat there for like fucking three months straight. I wanted to kill myself. I had no car, so I had to borrow my friend's car or I'd be biking around. Cycling from East Hollywood to fucking the store.

Forgot my ID, they wouldn't let me in, go back home, it was a nightmare. I was to hell. Working three jobs, I was under the table because my green card didn't come through. I've been to some foreign podcasts, but they test you for syphilis, and my syphilis test came back irregular or something.

I didn't have syphilis. So that's really an actual test, they test you for a green card. So my green card got pushed back like four more months. So I was out here working at the table, I was babysitting, I was working like catering jobs, it was hell. Wow, and you're doing all rooms, you're scaring the nerds? Scaring the nerds, I was doing like,

I did the hot tub, I got it on a lot, Good Hair Woman was my favorite show, I was doing that all the time. And yeah, people were like, what is happening right now? I would do well, because it was so different from everybody else, it was like psycho. Yeah, yeah, you were like, what is happening right now? Like this is, I would do well because it was so different from anybody else. It was like psycho. Yeah, yeah, you were a character. Yeah, they thought, they literally,

this is a character that I'm offstage and I'm still like, ugh, I was sucking a dick. I'm like, okay, she's serious, she's sick. Yeah. She's very sick. This is kind of a, yeah, the all crowds to me always, and I did a lot of them, but I never saw myself as one of them because I don't really think I'm a nerd

Yeah, really, but and I'm kind of like a you know I am what I am But like it always they always seem more together Yeah, and you know what I mean like I don't know if it was just posturing because they can't all be mentally healthy But it was always very white and very you know dressed similarly and they always seem to be fairly well adjusted able to collaborate Yeah, but I feel like I like the club crowds way more of course They're just fucking people yeah They want to laugh and they like they've had a probably a bad day and they can admit they had a fucking bad day And the store has been great because now that there's no like, you know massive

kind of Orbit around one or two comics everyone kind gets even, it's kind of egalitarian. Like you know what I mean? It's just good comics for good audiences and the place has its own reputation. Yes and it's not as like when I first moved out here I would never do this door because I hated it. I hated the door guys who worked there. They were treating me like shit. They're so rude to me for no reason. Which ones?

They're not there anymore. Oh really? They're all gone? They're all left. That whole crew went to follow somebody in Austin. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's not all of them, but there's some that were really negative and mean. I remember I'd be going to sit in the back, like, you're fucking sitting here.

I'm a comedian, like, get the fuck out. And I was like, you could have just sat and I'd leave crying, because I was like, this is where I want to work? I don't want to work here. Yeah, oh my God. Yeah, it was bizarre. I hated it.

I hated the store. And then Emily, actually, I did a special on- The Booker. The Booker, I did a special during COVID. Yeah, it was bizarre. I hated it. I hated the store. And then Emily actually, I did a special on- The Booker. The Booker. I did a special during COVID. Yeah. On the Epics, no one's seen it. Don't see it.

I did a special on Epics. Oh my God, it was so bad. I also, I was a blob. I was, it was right for COVID, so I was like a fat pig. Yeah. And all the camera angles were underneath. So like, if anyone, if it came, literally I was like melting ham.

You should've worn a kilt. I would've killed on my head. It was so bad, just my eyes showing. You did an hour special for Epix. Half hour, half hour, half hour. Oh, so I did an hour and you tell people, like, yeah, it's on Epix. I'd be like, what is it?

No, no, I was already there. I don't know if anyone watched it on Epix. No one watched it. But they gave it back to me. Part of the deal was I get the hour back so you can kind of go see it. You should cut some reels. That's good, that's good.

I'm trying to remember which one that was. You got a lot of reels to cut from that. So, but God damn it, it sounds like being in LA was kind of horrible. You weren't living in your car, but you didn't have a car. No, I was living in my friend's couch actually for a few months. I couldn't get my own apartment

because there was no cross border credit check. So I couldn't, nobody would let me sign a lease even though I had money, but they wouldn't let me. Can you do that with a green card though? Yes, green card. But you couldn't get the green card. And I couldn't get a social insurance number. Social Security number card, yeah. Oh, so yeah, signing a lease, even though I had money, but they wouldn't let me. Can you do that with a green card though? Yes. But you couldn't get the green card. And I couldn't get a social insurance number. Social security number.

Oh, so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Social insurance, yeah, I could get, yeah. But were you working in Canada? Were you an act? Yeah, I was a touring headliner in Canada. For like, yuck yucks? No, oh no, oh no.

There's one of the guys. Yeah, baby, that doesn't work for yuck yucks or absolute comedy. Both of those clubs, I will never step foot in for the remainder of the guys. Oh yeah. Maybe that doesn't work for Yuck Yucks or Absolute Comedy. Both of those clubs I will never step foot in for the remainder of my life. Or I couldn't. I'm probably banned. I'm under shit.

I've talked about them. Yeah. No, so I was an independent alternative comedian. I don't know if you know Deb DiGiovanni. Very funny comedian. Yeah, I just met her last night I think. She's amazing. She's hilarious.

I've met her before, but I had to bring her on last night and she's standing there. I thought I was bringing up Neil. Oh, she probably did her showcase last night. Oh my god. I hope she killed yeah because she's fucking she was my idol when I was growing up. Oh I would have set the table better had I known. Oh damn it. No it's probably better you just did like a neutral.

Well I kind of like that was that set I told you about I kind of tank crapped it out at the end. Oh fuck. And then like you know I'm like I thought it was Neil and then she's standing there and she goes you probably don't know me I'm like I don't. Oh fuck. And she goes I'm Deb DiGiovanni and I'm like this next don't. Oh, fuck. And she goes, I'm Deb DiGiovanni, and I'm like, this next person is really one of my favorite comedians.

And, you know. Oh, god. No, she's amazing. She's hilarious. But she was independent. She told me to go independent, and I did. Yeah. Yeah, so I was touring there, came out here,

and then I was a piece of shit for, what, four or five years, drinking excessively. Yeah. Doing a lot of gross stuff. Yeah? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was drinking a lot, having a lot of sex with a lot of gross people. I? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was drinking a lot, having a lot of sex with a lot of gross people.

I was like, oh Tinder in L.A. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, off them. I had, yeah, I had never had a relationship off them, but I was mostly fuck-ups, especially in kindergarten. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fun? Some. Some nights I'd wake up, I'm like, did I just do cocaine with a $5 Canadian bill with two strangers from Australia and they both blocked me on Instagram the next morning?

Yeah, I did. So that was, that wasn't a good memory. Not all the memories are great. Sure. Yeah, for some of them. Where's that show? Where does the words just go through all of the fucking Tinder memories? Oh, I have a list of all the memories are great. Sure. Yeah, for some of them. Where's that show? Where does it just go through all of the fucking Tinder memories?

Oh, I have a list of all the guys I fucked. It's horrendous. And what happened during it and how it went? No, no, no, I just had like a little like a- A running list? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are your numbers? Pretty high.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Here's the thing, they're high. Not a lot of great ones on there. A lot of slobs on there. No, no, no, but now I'm in a very loving, very loving relationship. Really? That's nice.

He moved in. He's actually, do you know the actor Christopher McDonald? Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's his nephew. Oh, okay. I fan girled over, or shoot her at the Laugh Factory, actually, and his nephew was sitting there

and then DM'd me and then that's it. Yeah, he moved in. Yeah, how long you been? We there and then DM'd me, and then that's it. And that's it? Yeah, he moved in. How long you been? We've been dating for five months. We've moved very quickly. That is quick. Oh, yeah.

No, I'm marrying this man. Really? Oh, yeah. Does he know? He better. He's locked to the bed right now. Chains are pretty loose. I hope he can't get out of them.

He knows. He knows. No, I'm obsessed with him. Oh, that's healthy. That's going to go great. No, in a good way. In a good way. It's the best relationship I've ever had, and he's very like, I'm obsessed with him. Oh, that's healthy. Yeah. That's gonna go great. No, in a good way. In a good way. It's the best relationship I've ever had and he's very like, similar. Well, I'm happy for you. Yeah.

Congratulations. But so when you finally get into this... But anyways, move on. Who cares about how happy you are? Let's get to the dirt. I don't buy it! It's just a phase. If it is a phase, I'll take it.

Yeah. No, it's good. I'm happy for you. Now can we move on? Yeah. I was waving against asking for some dirt. I don't know if I have dirty. I have dirt.

You have some dirt? I don't know, maybe. What do you mean? Everyone, I don't know. I think this podcast, everyone, you know, people come on, they get very emotional. Do they? Sometimes. Sometimes.

There are moments, I wasn't really anticipating it from you. I mean, if you feel like, what do you, did Yvonne cry? No. I mean, I'm not with my therapist anymore. I had to fire her. She kept putting her lipstick on during the sessions.

That was it? It rubbed me the wrong way. But was she? Like over Zoom. Oh yeah. I loved her. Yeah. But then every time it was red lips

and I was like, what is this for? How did that work? Did you work through shit? Yeah, well, I'd be like, are you listening anymore? She was really putting it on for a long time, and I'd be like, anyways, my mother doesn't love me, and then she's just like, slathering red, like it was crazy. Your mother doesn't love you? No, I don't think so. She started to say it in the last like four years, five years.

I don't know if they were capable of the correct kind of love, my parents. I think they thought they were loving, but I think it was just panic and concern. Are you the only child? Expectations. I got a little brother who's a little more, he's done so much work on himself. And he's kind of leveled off in a pretty healthy way. Whereas I was sort of like,

I'm not doing any of that really. I'm just gonna hammer it out. I mean, I've tried to, I've done work on myself, but this kid from a very early age was sort of like, I wanna understand, I wanna be I want to understand I want to be Loving I want to and you know, he worked it out Okay, but for me you like, you know, I'm still hammering out my problems in front of unsuspecting audiences Aren't we all I guess but but so your mom started saying it recently. Yeah more recently. Yeah, she's yeah She's been like, yeah, did you confront her about it? Yeah, she's very hard to talk about things like this.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. She doesn't like it. Doesn't like discussing feelings, doesn't like. Yeah. Yeah. My parents are very old now, but I've told this on stage and I think it's hilarious, but again, doesn't land always.

My mother literally said to me, I was down there cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the family and I'm just doing food prep. And she's out of nowhere with this tongue goes, you know, Mark, I don't think I knew how to love you when you were a baby. God, oh my God. And in my mind, I'm like, that's it.

That's the missing piece. I'm done. I finally figured it out. My God, all these years, that's it. That's crazy, yeah, well. I think my mom was very jealous of me. All her friends used to say that she could be a comedian. And I was like, you're not very funny,

so I don't think that's gonna work for you. Yeah. She's just very wrapped up in her Highland dancing world. That's all that matters to her. So me and my sister always kinda came second to that. To that? Yeah. Yeah, she's just very wrapped up in her highland dancing world. Yeah. That's all that matters to her. So me and my sister always kinda came second to that. To that? Oh yeah.

It's not even like medicine or anything important. Because she has her dancers that are doing very well. She has these young dancers that she loves and she's always like posting photos. My sister's had a very cute baby and now she's posting about the baby. Oh, that's good. But before it was all dance stuff.

Well, it would have been a problem if she didn't post a baby. Oh, that's good. But before it was all dance stuff. Well, it would have been a problem if she didn't post a baby. Yeah, we would have been like, she's got no soul, like where the fuck is going on? Is she funny? I don't find her funny. My sister doesn't really find her funny. I think her friends do.

Oh, okay. What about your dad? Funny? Yeah, in like a dad way. Are they together? Yeah. Oh, wow. Shockingly. What's he do? He's retired now, but he used to work for like a dad way. Are they together? Yeah. Oh wow. Shockingly. What's he do?

It surprises, he's retired now, but he used to work for like Toronto Hydro. Hydro. Like the water, like the power. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, so when you got passed over there, did everything turn around or change?

It changed with Burr. So Bill Burr conveniently with my stupid bullshit fucking Instagram reels I did, he saw one of my sketches and loved it, and we shared it. I was like, what the fuck is going on? And then he DM'd me asking me to open for him, and I'm like, am I on fucking... what plan am I on? And I think this is right after I got passed.

So, I got passed in December, and then this was the March, and then I was like, holy shit, and then Bill asked me to do a special on Netflix. Bill Burr's friends were Bill. Oh yeah, I saw that, yeah. That. So, that was what changed my whole career. Literally, single-handedly, like, overnight almost. Really, and it stuck. You got the audience.

I got the audience, and now all the clubs that wouldn't book me before are now, like. Cause you can sell it? Yeah. Oh, that's great. Where'd you play in Rochester at? Coney the Carlson, it was good. Yeah, some places, I mean, I'm not selling it.

Oklahoma City, won't be back there anytime soon. No. That was a humbling weekend, tell you that. Went from selling out Tacoma being like, hey, I'm the fucking funniest comic to Tacoma, to Oklahoma being like, six people on the early show? I'm gonna kill myself. Like, very bad weekend.

And I was like, hopped up on NyQuil. I'm like, I don't know if I'm high or I'm just fucking pissed, but I'm like, this sucks. Just like, I was bombing so bad in the Saturday Late show that I literally stopped and I just like, put my hand on my nose and I was like, I don't think I, I was bombing so bad in the Saturday Night Show that I literally stopped and I just like put my hand, I'm like, I'm just my nose, I was like, I don't think I've done this bad in like five years. And this one woman in the back, sad, went,

well, I like it. And I'm like, oh God, I was like so depressing. I almost wish she didn't. I almost wish she said no one likes this and I would have been like, I'm done. Also doing an hour bombing, also doing an hour act out bombing, that's embarrassing.

The worst. And you feel it. You know, sometimes you leave your body Also doing an hour bombing. Also doing an hour act-outs bombing. Yeah. That's embarrassing. And you feel it. You know, sometimes you leave your body, or you just. Oh, yeah. It's a, and I've had it happen a lot. It's a sad moment when the audience obviously becomes supportive as opposed to. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's OK. Just keep going. It was just one of those weekends where, and this is, OK, if you're fucking listening, and I don't know why I had to keep drilling this into people's fucking heads, Google the fucking headliner. If you're going to, what is going on?

Like I go from shows where people are there to see me to Oklahoma to my, Pat Berger, my opener being like, all right, you're all here to see your Steph Tolop, and I see a guy and I go, who? And I'm like, oh my fucking God. I'm gonna bomb, because you're not gonna like me. If you, the people who like me really like me. They get it, they're gross, they're some pigs. If you don't like dirty comedy or women, you're not gonna like me if you the people who like me really like me Yeah, they get it. They're gross or some pigs

Sure, if you don't like dirty comedy or women you're at the wrong fucking show, right? Cuz I'm gonna I'm gonna ream you out I'm gonna do crowd work with you probably make funny if you're the front row like I don't know what to tell you well, I I had it happen in Portland like a couple few months ago a Bachelorette party was there. I'm like what what do you? That's funny. See, that would be a clip. That would be a real clip.

Well, I said to them, I said, look, you know, you still have time to do something else with your evening. Yeah, literally. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not the guy for this. I don't, you know, I've got people here that know me and want to see me, and I'm not going to be able to service you what you want, you know? Because I remember I sit in the back of the room and I see the girl who's currently in charge of you want. You know, cause I remember I was sitting in the back

of the room and I see the girl who's currently in charge of the bachelor party and she's looking at me like, and I'm like, no. And they left. Good. See that's, you know what, I'm starting a new thing now where there's this couple in Milwaukee and they hated me so badly.

Like the whole first 10 minutes, the guy's rolling his eyes and the woman's just like, and I stop, I go, okay, you know what? I go, I'm gonna stop you here guys. I go, it's 10 minutes in. I go, I'm gonna stop you here, guys. I go, I go, it's 10 minutes in. I go, you clearly don't like me. Yeah. Yes, it's awkward.

Now I have to, I have to, you're right in the light. I'm like, you can go. I'm like, was this free tickets? And they went, yeah. I go, if you go right now, I go, I'll pay. I'll pay your tab. I don't give a fuck. I'm like, please, this is like, you're ruining my night.

Yeah. And they're like, no, no, no, no. And they stayed there. And I'm like, who's your favorite comic? And they're like, Caratop. I'm like, you're at the wrong? And they're like, Caretop. I'm like, you're at the wrong show. You are at the wrong fucking show.

They hated me the whole time. You couldn't get rid of them? I couldn't get rid of them. They wouldn't leave. They were so mad and it ruined my whole set. It's the Midwest. They had nothing else to do. They really had nothing else to do.

Last night, there's the other key to what happened to me last night. Some guy from New Zealand, some old guy, I'm doing jokes, I'm kind of riffing around a little bit looking for stuff, and he's like, what are you gonna tell some jokes? Oh no. And I'm like, and it was half a house in the OR, and I'm like, look, I just did three top quality jokes,

and maybe it's not, I'm not for you, like I didn't want to get into, I was not in the zone, and then it was just, fucking. I hate, that's the worst one. I had that guy in Rogers do that, maybe say something funny and I was like, well, well, well, and then I ripped him in half and I was like, well, guess what?

Yeah, it's pretty funny. It's fucked up, it is funny. Well yeah, but that's what I said. It's like everyone around you is laughing. Why does it have to be about you? And like, they left. Good. I don't know if the doorman did, I don't like when the doorman did.

Because there's part of me still is like, I'm handling it. I'll handle it. Don't step in. I'm not a baby. But then sometimes they don't step in when they need you to step in. I got a two-chair at me like a while ago. Yeah, I don't know if you heard this story in the OR.

No. Oh, yeah. This fucking guy would knock it off his phone. And I just got out of a horrendous breakup. I probably shouldn't have been there. It was like I was in a really bad place. I got there and I was already like, I cried all day and I got on stage and I was like pissed.

And this fucking guy's in the front and like a big puffy jacket on his phone and I go, hey man. I go, really? I'm that boring already. He keeps on his phone and I go, really man? I'm fucking talking to you. Yeah. And he like looks up and he goes, hmm, my mom.

And I go, take it out in the hall. If it's your mother, I'm like, she clearly sucks. Take it out in the hall, whatever. Kind of move on, whatever. Yeah, yeah. Two minutes later, he's back on his phone and I snap. I go, take it out in the hall. If it's your mother, I'm like, she clearly sucks. Take it out in the hall, whatever. Kind of move on, whatever. Two minutes later, he's back on his phone, and I snap. I go, that's fucking it. I get the fuck out. He gets so mad at me, he stands up,

grabs the chair from the bottom, and I'm like, and I saw him do this, I'm like, are you gonna throw the chair at me right now? The crowd goes dead silent. He picks up, I guess he doesn't realize how heavy those fucking OR chairs are, those old banquet hall chairs. So he goes to throw it, but I see him struggling.

So he can barely get it up, so he has to still get over the front desk. So he gets it up, it does one small, and I don't even move. Over the front counter? Yeah, over the front counter. And I just stand there and I watch it, I go, if you're gonna throw a fucking chair,

don't be a pussy, throw a fucking chair at me. And then the crowd loses it. And then a guy in the front row had to grab the guy. And then finally security came and I'm like, what is going on right now? How long is it gonna take? The one time I wasn't filming my set. Oh.

I was, and then I murdered for 15 minutes. Yeah. Because the crowd was like, this woman's insane. Yeah. But I was like, I would have gone so viral, a man throwing a fucking chair at me, are you insane? Yeah. I don't know.

What a missed opportunity. And now I film them all in case anybody else wants to throw a chair at me. Yeah, now you're inviting it. Hey, if anyone throws a chair at me, come on. Are you still doing the podcast? Yes. Every week?

Yes, Staph Infection, please, for God sakes. I'm trying so hard at this podcast and it's not- What's the angle? It's all about body stuff. So I have a lot of weird ailments that I've been dealing with my whole life. Ever since I got the vaccine, I'm covered in hives every day, like head to toe.

So you think it was the vaccine? Oh yeah, it was for sure. Right after the vaccine, like bad. A lot of people who also took the Moderna vaccine, I've done like little chat groups online and stuff. With the hives? Specifically Moderna, yeah. If you had a pre-existing skin issue, it gets so bad that my throat will close up and I'll have to go to the hospital. So it's a allergic reaction? Yeah, it's a crazy reaction. But I had like an ovarian cyst when I was a kid,

when I lost my virginity. But does that make you an anti-vaxxer or you just like attach it to allergies? Yeah, I'm not anti-vaxxer, no. I got it, but I'm like, when they want more, I'm done getting them now. Because you're allergic to them. I've done the two, I've got the boost, we're done.

But yeah, it's all about weird, it's for a comic, I want you to come on. If you have any body stuff, it's for a comic to talk about like ailments, breaks, it's for a comic, I want you to come on, if you have any body stuff, like, it's for a comic to talk about, like, ailments, breaks, something they don't normally talk about on stage. I have a fairly significant body dysmorphia. Do you?

And a mild eating disorder from being raised by an anorexic, but I talk about it. Okay, well then come talk about this, this is perfect. This is perfect body stuff. It's important for men to speak out. It is. About anorexia. I think it is.

My boyfriend is Morphea. He's always grabbing me. I'm fat. He's a grouch. He's a pincher? Oh, he's pinching and it pisses me off. Oh, I'm a pincher. You're a pincher.

A little bit. My brother's more of a pincher. I am a pincher. So you're looking in the mirror, you're pinching, are you out loud saying? Fuck. No, I mean, I'm a front pincher for some reason. But you're looking at it and saying I'm fat.

Are you doing that whole thing? Well, no, I'm saying like I've gotten better and I say like I'm a little bigger than I wanna be. I'm over here in Spanx. I am sweating my dick off and you have not an ounce of fat on you. I'm sorry, I don't wanna. Oh, is this how the podcast is gonna go?

This is how it is, I just came in. You'd be vulnerable about your ailments and you go like what the fuck do you have to complain about? No, but I'm like, that's why I think I have a mild form of it because I wear Spanx like every day. I'm so self-conscious of my stomach being like fat that I like always wear on stage. You'll never see me without Spanx on.

I lost my fucking mind when I did the first season of my show, Marin, on IFC, and we had this wardrobe person and she puts Spanx in my trailer and I'm like, what are these? It's like, well, some guys like to wear Spanx. I'm like, what are you saying? Then you got so upset. Do I need to wear Spanx?

She's like, no, it's just giving you the option. I'm like, but what does it mean? Oh my God. It's, I mean, I would have been pleased as punch with those Spanx from there, from my trailer. It does, it just makes you feel, I don't know. All in? All in, tucked in, sucked,

especially if I'm doing like a long out, especially the jumpsuit. Sometimes they fold in a you feel, I don't know. All in? All in, tucked in, sucked, especially if you're doing like a long out, especially the jumpsuit, sometimes they fold in a weird way, I need the... Well, I have, I used to be a pretty severe hypochondriac. And I have a very funny story that I've told before, but I would tell it on your show. Then come tell it. All right.

I used to be so crazy, I used to eat french fries as a kid, and I'd eat it down to the nub, because I touched the nub, I couldn't eat that part, so I'd put a pile. Of nubs? Of french fries and nubs? I love french fries and nubs, yeah. What, OCD kind of? OCD, yeah, yeah, because I was the nub, I couldn't eat that part, so I put a pile. Of nubs? Of french fry nubs? I love french fry nubs, yeah.

What, OCD kind of? OCD, yeah, yeah, because I was like so crazy, and I was so paranoid about STDs for so long that I didn't have sex until I was 19, and I was like so paranoid, I was like, we're both getting tested now, I'm like, God, see you later. Yeah, kind of.

I was, ta ta, do condoms exist? Haven't seen one in years. No, I had a crazy AIDS phobia. Oh yeah, I had that. To make my kids ruin my life. I a crazy AIDS phobia. Oh yeah, I had that. I had the AIDS phobia. And I was older than you. Oh yeah, so you were going through it. Well, I mean, I wasn't doing that kind of sex necessarily,

but it became sort of this thing where it's like, you can get it anyway. So I was always sure I had AIDS. Oh no, I've been tested for AIDS more than anything else in my life. I went last week, just for no reason. I go all the time. I go all the free clinics. They had no me there, they loved me. HF, shout out to HF at Hollywood Western.

They, I go out there and I'm like, hey, HIV, it just makes me feel better. Yeah, believe me, I have that too. During COVID, I was like, you know, always, every, wait online, it was a day. I'd go park my car and wait by the, we're at the stadium and get the swab, you know? Once a week, maybe?

Once every couple weeks. My God, we're crazy. Yeah, come on, come to the pod. Okay. Yeah, it's very fun, it's very laid back. Yeah, you have a guest, is it guest driven all the time? Yeah, always guest, just me and a guest. Do you have professionals, do you have other than comics?

Yes, I have a lot of porn stars and they're my favorite because they are very open about shit and their stories are fucking crazy. Have you had Sovereign on? No. Oh, I should hook you up with her. Yes, please. She's a friend of mine and she used to be adult,

but now she does a couple of podcasts, history. She's a, and she does comedy. Yeah, you should definitely, yeah, you should definitely have her on. I'm trying to get, I've had nurses on and I had a hospice nurse who was amazing, who talked all about how she made me feel a lot better about dying and how nice it is.

You're okay with it now? No, no, I still wake up at midnight and I panic and I cry. But. I'm at the age where I'm like, is it gonna happen when I'm sleeping? I'm bad, if I think of it before I go to sleep, I'm up all fucking night. If you really can get in the zone of it,

like, you know, that you're gonna die, it's bad. It's bad. It's a bad anxiety. I mean, you can do it intellectually, like, I'm afraid I'm gonna die or whatever, but if you really lock in and do the acting, do the deep work of like, dying. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm method, and then my boyfriend wakes up at night and he's like, okay, and I'm like, tears just stream in my face, I'm like, I'm gonna die. He's like, oh, not this yeah. I'm method, and then my boyfriend wakes up at night and he's like, you okay? And I'm like, tears are streaming out of my face. I'm like, I'm gonna die. He's like, oh, not this again. It's bad. I started when I was really young, I had that. Yeah, me too.

Fucking, since my earliest memories are me, ball in my eyes at like five years old, my parents come in and try to console me. It's very hard to console a child. You think I'm gonna die? He's like, well, yeah, a bit you are. Sorry, nothing I can say now, it won't be for a very long time.

I'm like, but I don't wanna die. I think, yeah, well, no one wants to die. Oh my God. I used to freak out when my parents would go away because I was sure they'd die in a plane crash and I'd make myself sick. Oh fuck. Because they'd hire like a babysitter for a week

and I'd just be like, they're floating in the ocean. Oh my God. The plane is in the ocean. And like I couldn't go to school because I'd make myself sick with anxiety. Oh God. And I'd ruin their vacation by calling, only calling the emergencies.

Hi, it's me. Your mom's trying to get fucking, her ass sucks by your dad. And you're like, I'm scared. You guys alive? That's what she said on the phone. I'm surprised you weren't a dirtier comic. I mean.

I was. I've definitely done all the dirty. Okay, you've... I was. I've definitely done all the dirty. Okay, you've done all the dirty. I've done all the dirty. Maybe I'll be clean when I get older. I've tried to do that, but now again, because I'm kind of champing at the bit about kind of like, you know, we're kind of,

what am I gonna do now? And there's part of me that because I'm old and my audience is different, where it's sort of like, oh, you don't know me. You don't know me. You don't know what I can do. You don't know me until you're filthy know what I can do. You're filthy. Yeah, believe me, I've had a wife say,

could you not do the thumb in the ass joke? Because it's me. It's me and everyone now knows that it's my ass and your thumb. Exactly, yeah. I've had to deal with that stuff a lot. We get, we get. Is that it?

Yeah, I feel like. Oh great, I thought there was more of an ending, but okay. No. That was fun. Thumb in the ass, a big ending. Oh great, I thought there was more of an ending, but okay. No, we can. That was fun. The fun thing is, it's a big ending. Good, big ending, big solid thumbs up ending. Do you have something to say, you wanna say about your pussy before we go?

I'm good, you can see it, or you can't see it yet. It hasn't been leaked yet. You just, I don't know, I have nothing to say. Go to my podcast for my sakes. I will, it was fun. Thanks for doing it. Thank you. Thank you. ["Spring Day in Thank you. There you go.

Right? Huh? That was some top notch, full on, shameless, owning it, dirty girl stuff. I love her. Her tour dates and tickets are at punchup.live slash Steph Tolev or on her social pages. Hang out for a minute folks. From fleet management to flexible truck rentals to technology solutions. At Enterprise Mobility we help businesses find the right mobility solutions so they can find new opportunities because if your business

is on the road, we want to make sure it's on the road to success enterprise mobility, moving you moves the world. Folks look, listen, the latest Ask Mark Anything episode is now posted for full Marin subscribers where I answer whatever questions you folks can think up. Audiences used to mainly laugh and applaud. Now so many people feel the need to woo, to demonstrate their approval.

In your performing experience, when did audiences start wooing, and what do you think of it? I can't stand it, and I draw attention to it immediately and shut it down as soon as the first woo happens because I believe a woo is not a response to a joke. They usually happen in moments of silence or in between jokes or when something is said

that's not necessarily funny. I still think laughter and some applause is the way people respond to jokes. I think wooing is something that is primarily to seek attention by the wooer. I mean, I get it, but I'm very hard on it, and I try to shut it down as quickly as possible when I have a wooer because it's disruptive.

It's not celebratory. Usually after a certain point to get bonus episodes twice a week, sign up for the full Marin by going to the link in the episode description or go to wtfpod.com and click on WTF plus and a reminder before we go, this podcast is hosted by a cast here's a bit of guitar from the vault Vancouver. So I'm gonna play it. Boomer lives. Monkey lives. La Fonda! Cat angels everywhere. Thanks for watching!