WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 503 - Rebecca Corry

Episode Date: June 4, 2014

According to Marc, comedian Rebecca Corry is funny and she has an attitude. That's definitely not a bad thing, especially when she deals with material like failed relationships, estrangement from parents, fighting against animal abuse and her advocacy for a practice we cannot reprint here. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Calgary is a city built by innovators. Innovation is in the city's DNA. And it's with this pedigree that bright minds and future thinking problem solvers are tackling some of the world's greatest challenges from right here in Calgary. From cleaner energy, safe and secure food, efficient movement of goods and people, and better health solutions, Calgary's visionaries are turning heads around the globe, across all sectors, each and every day. Calgary's on the right path forward. Take a closer look how at calgaryeconomicdevelopment.com. It's a night for the whole family.

Be a part of Kids Night when the Toronto Rock take on the Colorado Mammoth at a special 5 p.m. start time on Saturday, March 9th at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton. The first 5,000 fans in attendance will get a Dan Dawson bobblehead courtesy of Backley Construction. Punch your ticket to Kids Night on Saturday, March 9th at 5 p.m. in Rock City at torontorock.com. Lock the gate!

All right, let's do this. How are you, what the fuckers? What the fuck buddies? What the fucking ears? What the fuck nicks? What the fucksters? What the fuckstables? What the fuckleberry thins?

What the fuck knuckles? What is that? I like that one. Look, I don't know. How are you? Nice to see you again. I'm Mark Maron. Nice to meet you. This is WTF.

Thank you for listening. I would like to apologize to the people of charleston south carolina i am not going to be there i said i was going to be there the last show but i am not i'm going to be in charlotte north carolina on august 14th through uh through the 16th of august at Comedy Zone. Apologies to those people in Charleston who might have gotten excited and then gone to my website and said, what the fuck is he talking about?

My mistake. Look, today on the show, the very funny Rebecca Corey is here. She's not only funny and a live wire, but she's the organizer of Stand Up For Pits. It's an advocacy group dedicated to stopping animal abuse, specifically against pit bulls. And she did that big march on Washington last month. She has some future events coming up.

If you want to go to Stand Up For Pits to learn more, I would do that. I would do that if I were you before I get to her, because I'm going to chat a bit. I'm going to be talking to my buddy Jesse Thorne in a minute, too, for a few minutes about his boat ride thing that I refused to go on and that I had to pull out of last year, much to the chagrin of people involved. I apologize for that. We had to start shooting a TV show.

What, Mark? You have a TV show on the air? I do. Marin on IFC on Thursday nights, 10 o'clock east and west and 9 o'clock in the middle at some places. Tonight's episode, if you're listening to this on Thursday, the 5th of June, revolves around the very real event of the departure and mysterious disappearance of my cat boomer a year ago to the day that i started shooting season two so in other words the day i started shooting the first season of my tv show my cat boomer disappeared and to this day i hope i hope as you know that boomer lives i hope that the best i can hope for is that he's comfortably

living in a nice air-conditioned place where he's eating on a never-ending supply of yummy wet food out of spite against my insistence on dry food just because it's more practical and it's easier for me to deal with. So tonight's episode of Maron, it revolves around the day that Boomer disappeared. Some of my episodes are a bit touching folks, a bit touching, but I'm very proud of my show and I'd like you to watch it. So that's tonight on IFC or after, if you want to DVR, you know, Marin is the name of the show. Now getting back to date, I will be in Chicago, Illinois at the first annual 26th annual comedy festival on June 14th. On the 24th of June, i will be at the lawrence

arts center that's in lawrence kansas on the 25th of june i will be at the firebird in st louis missouri the 26th through the 28th i will be at the comedy attic in bloomington indiana and then i'm going to be doing a bunch of dates on the Oddball Fest this year. These are dates in Austin, Dallas, Houston, Tampa, Charlotte, North Carolina, Atlanta, Georgia, Denver, Colorado. Ooh, I'm going to Red Rocks. I'm going to perform at Red Rocks on that stage. That's why I went. That's why I took that date. I'll also be at the Mountain View Shoreline Amphitheater in Mountain View, California, and the Verizon Amphitheater in Irvine, California,

on that oddball festival business. So there's that. I'm also going to be at the North by Northeast tech conference in Toronto. Okay, I am doing the keynote up there. That's soon. That's in a couple weeks. So, have not been feeling great.

Did not know what it was so on uh monday morning i went and i got uh mri it was my first mri i was excited about it i think uh i think everybody remembers their first mri don't they now some of you know i um i've been having these uh. My hands and feet are tingling and now I've got pressure in my sinuses and one of my ears keeps popping and I've got weird headaches here and there and bing and bang and boom and what have you. Apparently, because everything is going so well in my life, I've decided to reward myself with a deep and very real to me cancer fear. That's how my brain works. Hey man, finally, everything's going pretty good. I'm dying. I'm dying. And so I focused on that, went to the neurologist and he found no evidence

of neuropathy, no evidence of mobility problems, no evidence of anything. My reflexes were very good, actually. He was kind of a cranky guy. I enjoyed going to him. I like doctors that seem a little over it but still very focused. So finally, I'm going to go get my MRI. Never had an mri before it's a machine that takes up the entire room and they lay you down and they put your head in sort of a braced position and they sort of wheel you in

and you just sit there in a tube with your head in a tube and then this piece of high-tech equipment makes more fucking noise than than i've ever heard a machine make that should be a high-tech machine literally the process of an mri is sort of like you sitting there going like what's that sound fucking noise than than i've ever heard a machine make that should be a high-tech machine literally the process of an mri is sort of like you sitting there going like what's that sound what's wrong with this machine is this an old one why is it fucking clanking like that couldn't they make it a quieter machine what's going on inside the machine and i started to have a panic about my fillings is it going to suck my fillings through my skull? Because they took my keys and they took the metal.

What about fillings? Am I going to pull one of my, is it, is my filling going to like, is it going to go on and like a bullet? My fillings are just going to pop out of the top of my head. Clearly, you know, they, that didn't happen. So here's who I am. So I get this MRI. I'm fairly convinced at this point that I have a large tumor pressing against the inside of my face. I have not been a hypochondriac in a long time, but I was pretty sure I was going down. So I was making plans and trying to figure out what I

would do when I found out that I had a tumor in my head. And sadly, beginning to drink again was way down on the list. So that means I'm a little more sober than I thought. But, you know, there was there was obviously like, well, I'm going to going to eat a lot of stuff that I'm usually afraid of. And I would probably like to have sex as much as possible. And I guess I would have to hire somebody with some of the money I've saved just to hang out and and and be there for the whole process. This is sad. Jeez. So here's where it gets weird. So I get the MRI.

And then, you know, there's a tech. There's a guy that runs the machine while you're there. So now I'm convinced that I have a tumor, at least, you know, the size of my brain, in my brain. And I get out of this tube. And this tech says, you did fine in there and this tech says you did fine in there you know you did well in there and I'm like well thank you he and he says yeah it's uh you know not everybody does that well but you did well and I said oh so you saw it he goes yeah I'm the tech I saw I yeah I saw the MRI and I'm like well what what did you think of the MRI how did it look he goes well

I'm not a I'm not a doctor so I can't really comment on it. But I said, but you know, I mean, was it okay? He's like, I really can't. And then as I'm walking out, he goes, take care of yourself. Like that. Take care of yourself. Did you hear my tone just then? Take care of yourself.

So, of course, I walk out of there going like, oh fuck, I'm done. Did you hear that? And now I've got to drive in my car going like, does he say that to everybody? That sounded loaded to me. Take care of yourself. Like I got to struggle ahead. So I'm freaking out about that.

And then I want to get the results as soon as possible. So he also tells me that like what's going to happen is he's going to send the MRI to the lab. They're going to rip it to a CD and then the radiologist will do a report. They'll mail the CD to my doctor and the report as well. Snail mail. It's like, what the fuck?

What do you got to commit to this old paradigm for man? Snail mail. Are you fucking kidding me? Don't they realize that people are panicking and freaked out it's a big deal like it'll probably be three or four days because we got to mail it by pony express to your doctor that was a little livid so i'm working angles i'm like all right look what if you rip it to cd today and you get the radiologist on it today and i come back here i pick the shit up and I drive it to my doctor.

Like, I'll be the messenger. I'll be the delivery guy. And ultimately, that's what happened. I came back in an hour to radiology. I got the CD. I called up before I came back to see if the radiologist had made a report. I took the report to my doctor. And then I drove over to this guy's office.

And I deliver it to his receptionist who says she'll put it on his desk in the morning. He's gone for the day. Fine. And everybody's treating it like it's no big deal. It's very weird when you go to a hospital. I had this moment where I realized when I was admitted to the hospital for the MRI that these people work with this every day. Thank God they're there. Thank God for people who have given their life to working with sickness. Because we're all going to be there unless you go out quick.

And it's nice to know that these people are there. And I don't know why I expect them to be concerned and freaked out all the time. They can't really. So I call the receptionist at the doctor's office. I'm like, hey, it's Mark Maron. She goes, hi, can I help you? And I'm like, yes, you can. I dropped the evidence of my brain tumor off at your office and no one's called to confirm my deepest darkest

fear so i thought i would call you to hasten the process what's going on i didn't say that i says mark maron is wondering if the doctor and she's like yes he has it he'll call you this afternoon between three and seven i'm like what is he what is he time warner between three and seven fine so i go about my day and then the call comes and i'm telling you man i thought i had it and i'm you know look but whatever i'm a drama queen what do you want from me so i see the call come in. No caller ID. I'm like, hello.

He goes, yeah, Mark Maron. I'm like, hey, Doc, what's up? He goes, well, I looked at the MRI, and you have the normal brain for a man your age. That was a little loaded. I mean, I could have gotten into it a little bit with him. What do you mean exactly? But I didn't.

I said, so everything's all right? He goes, yeah, it's fine. And I'm like, okay. So there's nothing there? You didn't see anything? He goes, no, it's normal for your age. And I'm like, okay. And then the guy was about to hang up.

I'm like, thank you very much, doctor. I appreciate it. And he goes, no tumors? No tumors. He's like, what? No. No. appreciate it go no tumors no tumors he's like what no no and i i was like all right i'm relieved thank you and i hung up and i don't i don't feel great today either but i gotta track it down so i don't know when this is all gonna end but i am relieved that i do not have a brain tumor now someone tell me what's wrong with me, please.

Okay, look, you know, I'm going to talk to my friend. Jesse Thorne is here and we're going to talk about his boat ride. Jesse Thorne, of course, the guy who got me into podcasting in a way. I owe a debt of gratitude to him. Always. He hosts the show Bullseye on NPR and he's the Max Fun guy. He's got a few other shows he produces. Let's talk to Jesse.

You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now.

Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. It's a night for the whole family. Be a part of Kids Night when the Toronto Rock take on the Colorado Mammoth at a special now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. It's a night for the whole family. Be a part of Kids Night when the Toronto Rock take on the Colorado Mammoth at a special 5 p.m. start time on Saturday, March 9th at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton. The first 5,000 fans in attendance will get a Dan Dawson bobblehead courtesy of Backley Construction. Punch your ticket to Kids Night on Saturday, March 9th at 5 p.m. in Rock City at torontorock.com. Jesse Thorne is in my garage for one reason.

Yes. And, you know, I approach this from a place of of contrition and uh in sadness that i put you in a difficult position but for me i think i made the right thing because i'm not a boat guy and i think when it came right down to the wire i think i made the right decision for everybody i don't think it would have been fun to have me on the boat i think it would have been fun nobody on the thing is a boat person that's a thing i mean think of eugene merman yeah so i do a cruise called boat party dot biz right last year eugene was there eugene merman showed up for for a caribbean cruise right wearing black jeans and a black chambray shirt.

And by the end of it, he was in the pool wearing his black jeans and his black... So ultimately he had a good time, but no matter how you slice it, he didn't bring the right clothing. He certainly didn't bring the right... There's no doubt that he didn't bring the right clothing. He should have brought a black bathing suit. But he wasn't the...

He wasn't the only one. There was a rock and roll guy there whose band is called i want to say abba zamba it sounds like you don't know who was on your boat right he wasn't a he wasn't a um he wasn't a performer he just came out he was a friends with the sound guy oh um but he's in a very successful indie rock band and was a great guy. I wish I could remember the name of his band. Yeah. But anyway, he came wearing exclusively indie rock clothes, like skinny jeans, and he looks sort of like Jesus. Uh-huh. And he had a freaking blast. Yeah.

It's weird. It's one of those things, like you... It's the people. It's the people. Yeah. I mean, I think the thing that makes Cruise terrifying... Yeah. I get motion sickness.

I don't like the ocean. Right. I don't like the ocean for sort of existential reasons as much as anything else. Yeah, no, there's things you can't see under there. And when the water's too deep, who knows what's beneath you? I don't like looking at the horizon. Oh. I don't like being able to see the horizon.

Uh-huh. If I look out at the ocean horizon from the beach yeah i find it deeply disconcerting because it reminds me that the that my life is not infinite and then i'm gonna die really it doesn't waking up do that i am able to keep it at bay mark at bay without water yeah as long as you don't see it as long as you don't see the water you can keep it at bay, Mark. At bay without water. Yeah. As long as you don't see the water, you can keep it at bay. I think it might happen if I was in the Gobi Desert or something like that. But you have children. Yeah, but they're only half me.

And I don't think my consciousness is transferred into them. Well, we'll find out when I die if they're still alive. But aren't they a destruction, at least? They do keep you busy. All right, so this boat trip. Last year, I didn't go, and I was scheduled to go. I felt bad. I had to cancel.

I can't even remember the reason. Your show was still shooting then, and your call times got changed. That's right. Which, you know, that happens. Yeah, it's show business. It stunk, but it happened. Now, who's going to be on the boat? Who says they're going to be on the boat this year?

All of these people are definitely going to be on the boat this year. List it off. Okay. We got W. Kamau Bell, Kyle Kinane, Greg Barrett, Guy Branum, Matt Bronger, Tony Kameen. I love Tony Kameen. Tony's great. He should host the entire ride. Basically, that's my feeling about it, too.

He should be there when people get there. He should host the entire ride. Basically, that's my feeling about it, too. He should be there when people get there. He should host every event on the boat. He really is one of those people that you wish could host. Him and Jimmy Pardo, if the two of them could host everything forever, I would be happy. Yeah. Chris Fairbanks is going to be there, one of my favorites. Moshe Kasher. Mm-hmm.

Karen Kilgareff. Wow. The great Karen Kilgareff. Oh, Natasha Leggero is going to be there. So Moshe and Natasha, was that the package? That was the package. I emailed Moshe and invited him. And at the time, I didn't know that the two of them were dating.

And he emailed me back, what do you think of Natasha? And I emailed him back, who do you mean, Natasha Leggero? I think she's funny. And he said, oh, good. Can she come? And I was like, yeah, okay, sure. See, that was was an amateur move he should have said natasha's coming with me you should put her on morgan murphy did i say morgan murphy no you didn't because i'd remember that that's a kill that's a killer lineup of comedians that's an amazing line of comedians are there going to be musical

guests this year yeah john roderick is hosting again this year. He's from the band The Long Winters. And he is like a, he's a sort of bon vivant in addition to being a musician. And so just one musician this year. No. All right. Well, okay. Lake, the indie pop group out of Olympia, Washington, the great group Lake. They do music on Adventure Time, among other things.

But wonderful band. Jean Grey, the rapper, Jean Grey. Has she ever been on WTF? No. You should have her on. You guys would have a great time. Okay. And Antibolus.

Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. The Afrobeat group out of Brooklyn. Huh. 14-piece band. I'm bringing a 14-piece band. I don't know why I made that decision, besides that Antibolus are so good. How does it work?

Basically, you guys get half a boat you we get like it may even be less than half a boat but we get we get special rooms on this ship so it's a huge cruise ship with a million different you know it's not just shuffleboard like there's like you know a basketball court and there's a climbing wall every half hour there's a there's literally a place where you can go and get food at any time including ice cream which is what i tended to go get at any time yeah and then there's fancy meals at fancy meal times right everybody sits together at dinner and there's like a room where you can go and hang out at any time if you want to go hang out with people um and then there's shows at night we get the showroom at night

it's like a nightclub room or something like that but that's your room for the whole the whole run exactly and then during the day um one day you spend on a private island in the bahamas uh-huh one day you spend in nassau funky nassau so that's it's two stops two stops in the private islands called coco key that's where you get a, what's that called? A ski-do. Okay. Get yourself a ski-do. That's my recommendation.

A lot of hooking up? A lot of people hooking up on this thing? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Well, I mean, there's a whole, it's like not just hooking up. There's hooking up. There's also people bringing children. Okay.

So, what? Are you concerned? No. Are you concerned about the children that they might remind you of your own mortality yes always yeah i uh but what are there events yeah there's the workshops and there's shows at night and then like uh carol kolb is going to teach a comedy writing class in fact her and tony kameen she's married to tony kameen they're talking about maybe doing a humor in relationships workshop. They've been married for a long time. And Carol was most recently a writer for Community.

But before that, a writer for Review with Andy Daly. Andy, I'm sure, has been on this show, right? Sure, sure. It's the end of July, July 25th through 28th, I believe it is. 25th through, yeah. And it's a Friday through a Monday. And then on Thursday night night we have a party in Cape Canaveral which

is where we set a set sail from so there's a big party the night before if you're flying in from somewhere you fly in on Thursday we give you a cheap hotel

room and how many nice hotel room how many people did this last year hundreds really yeah several hundred okay well there you go you're not alone it's a good

time you could go alone because you'll meet like-minded people if you're into the Jesse Thorne empire. This is not a thing. Like, you came to MaxFunCon. No, I know. I enjoyed MaxFunCon.

MaxFunCon is like a thing for people who are into my empire. This is just a thing for people who like music and comedy. And comedy. Okay, but you are the host of Bullseye. You do run the MaxFun empire. That's true. Jordan, Jesse, Go, and what are your other shows? Judge John Hodgman. Judge John Hod other shows? Judge John Hodgman.

Judge John Hodgman. Judge John Hodgman. That's your show as well. So this is for people that, many of my listeners enjoy this stuff. They enjoy comedy. They know the people you just mentioned. And how long is this thing? It's four days.

I mean, it's Friday through Monday. Oh, I should have went. We have Friday, come back Monday. I should have went. Yeah, you could. Come on. You were the executive producer of your show. You could have rescheduled the shoots.

No, that doesn't. You'd be surprised how quickly that power drops away. Mark, that's how show business works, right? Yeah. You reschedule television show shoots to make room for unpaid gigs? Sure. Yeah, yeah. That's exactly how it works.

My name's on the show. I do what I want. Unless the network doesn't want me to. All right. Well, Jesse, it's good seeing you. It's good to see you, too, Mark. I do what I want. Unless the network doesn't want me to. All right. Well, Jesse, it's good seeing you. It's good to see you too, Where do they go again?

Give me the website again. Boatparty.biz. Boatparty.biz. And guess what? What? 50 bucks off if they type in Marin. Wow.

$50. And a lot of people are going, folks. Don't be afraid. Yeah, it's super fun. It's a highbrow mixer. It is. It is.

High to middle. Middle high. Middle to highbrow mixer it is it is high to middle middle high middle to highbrow mixer so if you just have the haircut you don't need the brains all right all right so now let's talk to rebecca cory she's great i love her let's talk to Rebecca Corey. She's great. I love her. Let's talk to her. Yeah, I am one of those people that can have a pack of cigarettes. I can smoke it for, get through it for a month or so and then not smoke for two months. Maybe I won or have some wine and smoke. Like I'm not, I don't really. Yeah. I don't wake up in the morning and go if I don't, or I don't ever go if I don'm not, I don't. Really? Yeah, I don't wake up in the morning and go, if I don't, or I don't ever go,

if I don't have, I don't do. You don't know that feeling of like looking forward to the first two or three cigarettes with your coffee in the morning before you go to bed at night. Like tomorrow is okay because I'm going to be sitting at my table with a pack of Marlboro Reds

and a fucking strong coffee and I'm going gonna get jacked I do know that one you drop deuces immediately thereafter yeah I know it I know well I'm no stranger to it yeah I'm a lady yeah well what do you go to bed looking forward to the next day coffee okay but I don't need to have the cigarette i never got to have the coffee you have to yeah right yeah i have to but i i did smoke for i was married and so i had a husband who was a really heavy smoker um you were married yeah my real last name is not cory i don't know anything about you i know you don't i know you don't i know you're funny. And you got a fucking attitude.

Wait a minute, pot calling kettle what? I didn't say I didn't. Wait a minute. Look, just because I make a statement doesn't mean I'm negating me from the equation. Hell yeah, yeah. I mean, I think we met each other once on the Bob and Tom show where I don't think you said anything to me. And I'm surprised because I remember you giving your attitude. No, I did. I did. I said hello. And then I think we said anything to me. And I'm surprised because I remember you given your attitude. No, I did. I did.

I said hello. And then I think we even took a selfie. We took a selfie together. Okay. Selfie photo. When was that? That was six years ago, five years ago. What were you doing up there?

I was performing in Indianapolis. Which one? Crackers. You were at Crackers. Headlining? Yes. And how'd that go for you? Well, when I do Crackers, Ilining? Yes. And how'd that go for you?

Well, when I do Crackers, I usually throw a person out every show. For what? For heckling. Uh-huh. And being drunk and stupid. And I go, what are you doing here? Friday late show? Yep. Both late shows.

Uh-huh. Where else do you work? I do about 10 clubs a year. I've never had a comedy booker in my entire career. So it's only just do what I can get. 10 a year? About clubs a year. I've never had a comedy booker in my entire career, so it's only just do what I can get. 10 a year? About 10 a year. Six to 10 a year.

I do Tacoma Comedy Club. I do Wise Guys. Wise Guys in Utah? Yeah. Nothing wrong with that place. Love it. So why are you not in bigger rotation, Rebecca, Corey? Because I don't have a comedy booker.

I never have ever had a comedy booker. Never have ever had a comedy booker. Have you tried? Yeah. When I got, yeah. Yeah, I have. Sure have. Yeah. I got

a half hour Comedy Central special. You did it? Yeah, I did. It's in the can. Done. Taped in the can. Killed it? It was alright. I don't care for the outfit. The boots were special you did it yeah it's in the can done taped in the can killed it it was all right i don't care for the outfit the boots were a poor choice whenever i look at it i'm like i've got a lot of those what was i thinking when i look at that i think are you kidding and by the way this was recently well 2009 yeah but still you decided you're like these are the boots was i an adult yes did i have you you had other choices yeah not only did i have a lot of choices but i also

had a lead time a severe lead time months went out went toomy's. Isn't that weird? We'd go shopping places we'd never shopped before. Never shop. And the outfit that I got is so, it is disgusting. You're basically going out there with someone else's clothing on. An idiot. Unworn clothing. I want to just say something. I wore tights in boots.

Who does that? Who instructed you to make the decision? It was me. It was all me. You thought, I'm going to try something new on my special. I'm going to try something new that they're going to record. Surprised I didn't work out bits.

Surprised I didn't just go out there with some concepts and just wing it. I've done that. Then you could be embarrassed about two things. I dress bad and I didn't do my material. Yeah. Pathetic. Flop sweat.

All right. So you go out there. Did you ever wear those tights again? No, no. No, I haven't. But I've, no. How about those boots? Nope.

They're in my closet. I wore them one time. The shame boots? One. They're in my closet. I wore them one time. The shame boots? One time on your special? Yeah. You know what? Maybe I'll take them out and wear them to just, maybe it'll, maybe it'll make me feel better about that.

It was just a horrible, it was just, it's the worst outfit. And there's a couple of bits I did in my act. Then you just like, I don't know. You know, do you look back at some bits of yours and go, what was that? I do a lot of unfinished bits. It's not unusual for me to do bits that are half-baked on specials and TV appearances, and then I just tag them later. There's enough there to sort of get a laugh if someone else chimes in that I'm talking to.

You don't want to think it through? You don't want to do a... I don't. I don't. You know, I wait till they're delivered to me. I talk and then one day a thing will drop out of the ether and it'll be like

when I'm cornered and I need it sometimes it comes. Sometimes it doesn't. I do not write them down. It's not the best system. Do you have a half hour special? Several. Okay. I have two on Comedy Central and one on HBO from 95. I have one from 99. That Comedy a half hour special? Several. Okay. I have two on Comedy Central and one on HBO. From 95, I have one from 99.

That Comedy Central half hour special, disaster. I got off stage at that special. What are you wearing? A black suit with a red shirt. I had short hair. I decided for some reason, I'm not real good at picking backdrops when they give you that option. What did you do? For that one?

Mine too. It was horrendous. I chose a freak show banner. I thought like that'll make sense to people. So it's just like a side show banner with a fat man and a Siamese twins and that kind of thing. You could barely see it. Didn't quite add up. Was it part of a bit?

No. No. Yeah. It's just an idea. I'm like, you know, this is who we are. This is who I am inside. This is a, the people will, people who will get it will get it. Yeah. And the people that don't, what'd you think and no one got him no one got it and the special

was bad the audience was bad the only person that was there for me when i got off stage was my coke dealer who was uh at the uh the snack table and he i got off stage after doing my half hour special that was difficult didn't go well and he goes they got roast beef. That was my big night. They got roast beef. Did you? Did some blow. Shortly after that, I stopped doing drugs altogether. Did you really?

Yeah. The second special I did during my tenure at Air America, which was political, and the material was really good, and the outfit was okay. What was it? Just one detail, at least. I wore some G-Star jeans. Wait, were they pleated? No. Good. G-Star jeans. Wait, were they pleated? No.

Good. G-Star jeans I was wearing a lot. I wore a yellow Lacoste pullover and a blue blazer. All right. I'm not mad at that. And my glasses were good. My hair was good. But again, backdrop, not great. What was it? Backdrop, it was a herd of sheep heading the other direction.

Okay, so I was, the idea was like they're going you look you see me behind me there's a herd of sheep going the opposite they're the backs you see their sheep's asses yes and there's they put one sheep on stage with me so the idea was like i'm not part of the herd but during the whole special a sheep's ass was like right next to my head because the backdrop the whole time. Why did you do that? Because I thought like, you know, I'm telling the truth, man. I was,

that was the end of my like, hey, I'm fucking, you know, I am. Well, not different. I'm like, you know, like this is, I'm political,

but I'm also seeing things clearly. Don't think like the herd. That was the end of my, my Bill Hicks influence. So they were like, they were like, they represented lemmings. They were like. That's right. The herd.

Well, you know what? I appreciate the thought. I can appreciate that. Nobody would get it. No. Just a sheep on stage and a bunch of sheep's asses behind me. I would just immediately think Ireland or. Yeah.

No, no, no. Nothing. No, it was. They're all too complicated. Too deep. The framing was not. Nope. All right right so you did your special and what you was that did that launch you into the six clubs a year or oh you can't believe the amount of heat that was around you can't believe it was like it was like i was getting calls every six months to do something.

No, these are just people who, these clubs are just people who have liked what I've done throughout the years, have watched the evolution. That's what my backdrop was, was the evolution of me. Like all these physical poses. Started in LA. You did? 13 years ago. Yeah.

Where do you come from? I grew up in Seattleattle seattle washington sure did born and raised kent washington suburb of seattle what kind of suburb disgusting it's the armpit of the state it's a piece of shit it's a pile of shit it's uh it is uh and you grew up there before it became like pristine and moneyed no it's still, it's still the garbage capital of Washington. How old are you? Mind if I ask? I will be 43 in a couple weeks.

So you were a child before the big Microsoft thing or no? Was that always there? When did that happen? Yeah, I was a child before. Yeah, yeah. And you know, the whole Seattle grunge thing and all that. I was there for all that crap. When you were young? Well, no, I mean, in high school you could go see Mother Love Bone. You could go see.

Yeah, yeah. Did you do that? No. No, I was into Michael Jackson. Really? Yeah. So that explains the tights and the boots, I guess. I don't know what.

I'm going to tell you something. There is nothing for the rest of my life that will ever explain that. Ever. There's nothing. That's a horror. I went on Conan wearing a black velvet Nehru jacket. Yeah. Was it hot?

Leather pants. No, you didn't. Yeah, leather pants. Was it hot? I didn't care. I made a decision. I was like, I'm ready to handle this. I did that.

There's video footage of it documented. I went on Conan O'Brien with an outfit that some guy who lived around the corner from me designed and made in his factory. That's not true. It is. It's just this little fat kid who was a clothing designer. He said, I'd love to dress you. I said, that sounds great. I'm doing Conan in two days.

So he whipped something up for me. I went right out there with it. You don't really, you don't, you just have this unabashed, you just don't give a shit. No, I give a lot of shit. I gave a lot of shit back then. It's not that I don't give it, I give a lot less of a shit now. Yeah. When did you fully quit giving a shit?

I think when I started the podcast. I, you know, I, you know, it was done. I was over. And I think everything, you know, post that was like gravy. I'm like, hey, all I wanted was to be able to make a living and hopefully have health insurance. And everything else was like, okay. But Kent, so let's paint a picture of the childhood home.

Okay. Dad, push broom mustache. I'm 4'11". So he tops out about 4'5", 5'6". I mean, not 4'5". He would have been a little person. Tiny man, angry, five, five, five, five, six. I mean, not four, five. He would have been a little person. Tiny man. Angry.

Violently angry. Chain smokes. Lucky strikes. I used to eat him when I was five. I used to eat my dad's cigarette butts. So your dad has a huge mustache that's probably brown from the cigarettes. Well, he's an Italian, angry. He looks like Super Mario Brothers.

What does he do for work he works at Boeing of course and he he air pressure tests airplanes so he crawls around they take an airplane

and they blow it up with air and he crawls around on his hands and knees and he has a stethoscope thing and he listens for leaks

and when he hears a leak he plugs it with what I would imagine some sort of serum putty yeah and he listens for leaks. And when he hears a leak, he plugs it. With what? I would imagine some sort of serum. Putty? Yeah. Brings a little wad of clay with him and just plugs it? Yeah.

He's a whole plugger for the new planes. He's in charge of probably potentially our lives, if you think about it. And would you trust him with that? No. No. He always had nicknames for all of our neighbors the dipshit um the dipshits lived across the street um pig

farmers were there pig farmers no he just called them pig farmers morons dipshit was he an abusive fellow to you yes very much in much so. In what way? Always. Not sexually. Yeah. But he was violently, you know, I took a tumble down some stairs. Because of him. Yeah.

I've taken some serious, serious, I would say mental abuse for 18 years. Until I was 18. And your mom was where? Oh, she's there. She's still there. Well, they got divorced finally when I was 18. Luckily your mom was where? Oh, she's there. She's still there. Well, they got divorced finally when I was 18. Luckily, they stayed together for me. Yeah. That was great.

So she just took that shit. There's actually four of us. Four of you? Four of us. I have an older brother, and then I have two little sisters. How'd your older brother turn out? Last I heard, he just got out of jail for heroin. So he's doing pretty good.

He's doing pretty good. He's doing... He's out. He's doing pretty good. What about the younger ones? One of them went to Jerry Falwell's school on the East Coast and is a right-wing, conservative, serious Christian. And thank God she's married to a guy with cankles who looks like a lesbian and they're raising these children to not understand

facts yeah or have knowledge yeah and then my other little sister is phenomenal she's a dental assistant and she's hilarious and she's really we're the only ones that speak were you brought up with the Jesus yeah yeah Catholic yeah then i was kicked

out of catholic school yeah behavior issues that seems common that's a good source of material sure yeah i haven't touched on it why oh okay i feel like carlin covered all that we're all yeah yeah and then um uh and then 13 years old uh my mom decides to become a reborn is it reborn born again born again christian i don't even think they call them born agains anymore there's something else now well she was definitely if you asked her my mom discovers jesus yeah big time as though he's they're high-fiving like that kind of that kind of relationship. Talking a lot about him. Seeing, inspired by, wanting, knowing all. She saw Jesus.

Yeah. In things or just about? She just, he's everywhere. Oh, Jesus is everywhere. He's everywhere. Yeah. In every action, every thought, you know, all that shit. She got full hook, line, and sinker. Yeah.

Just the whole brain went. Whole brain went Jesus. Gone. Yeah.er. Yeah. Just the whole brain went. Whole brain went Jesus. Gone. Yeah. Gone. Yeah. Went to a Christian church called Grace Brethren. Yeah.

We would foot wash. Uh-huh. This is a thing that we had to do. My mom would say to me, I'm 13 years old, you have to wash another person. It's a baptismal ceremony that we did. And then I got full submersed, you know, where you put the thing on, you sit in the tub and they do the thing. I got that done. So I'm all set there.

Pretty sure heaven is imminent. And then they finally got divorced when I was 18. She remarried some guy from that exact church. Right. Dale. Dale. Dale. Also works at Boeing. No, he doesn't.

He doesn't. Does your father still work at Boeing? No. Retired. Dad married a lady. Mobile gums at 33. Got all the teeth yanked. Has fake teeth.

Uh-huh. They. Mobile gums. Is that a thing? Mobile gums is like if you if you have mobile gums from what my sister tells me not the really religious one with the the dental assistant she knows she knows about mobile gums yeah i've never heard of mobile gums no i haven't either i'm ready to learn so my sister's like you've mobile gums which means her gums are like so, I believe, rotted. Yeah. Or, yeah, rotted.

Yeah. That the teeth, so they're just moving. They can move. There's no stability in the mouth. Right, right. It's kind of a nightmare if you think about it. A lot of teeth moving around. Well, yeah.

So she had all her teeth pulled. Yanked. And she has false teeth. Correct. And your dad is still with her. I have not spoken to him in 10 years. Really? Yeah.

He does live in a trail. They do live in a double wide. In Kent. He lives at the base of Mount Rainier in a double wide trailer. That's his retirement. Yeah. He's 15 wiener dogs. Okay.

15 wiener dogs in a double wide at the base of Mount Rainier. It's pretty. Is it? I don't know. I don't know. What is your place pretty? Yeah. I'm not sure a double wide base of Mount Rainier is.

But Mount Rainier, inarguably pretty. Yeah, I mean. So what happened to Mount Rainier? We can't. A mountain is pretty. Yeah. So in his eyes, you know, he's living it i'm not sure i would have to i'm i guess i recently heard she left him because he's a madman he's a madman so what happened 10 years ago to initiate the bad ill will well he's you go through.

Did you visit the trailer at all? I've been there. Oh yeah, I've been there. You slept in the trailer? No, but there was dog shit all over the place. Because he's got 15 wiener dogs? Unneutered, unfixed, whatever. Why wiener dogs?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure that that's, I guess that that's his preference. But he's a negative, horrible human being. I'm familiar with that syndrome. I had it for many years. Okay. I don't mean to laugh, but. I'm over it.

Okay. I know you're over it, but. Halfway over it. I just don't think, I don't really think. Listen, I don't think. I'll keep negotiating. I don't think you two are the same person, though. I think there's different levels of that.

And I don't see you as that. Look, I didn't know you. I mean, we've met and stuff, but I didn't really know what you had going on specifically. But I just can't see you being... That's weird because it's readily available in many different formats, what I've got going on specifically.

It's just your lack of interest did not compel you that direction. I've made it nothing but available. Okay. For decades now. I think it's the bulk of my work. Okay. The bulk of your work. Well, he's, you know, I don't think he's a piece of shit.

The guy's a piece of shit. So that was just a decision you made. There was no action that occurred that said, I'm done with you. No, it's just years and years. It was a decision that I finally made after, you know, going through therapy and realizing that he's just toxic and negative and horrible. And all he's ever done my entire life was be a horrible parent, a failure as a father. And he abused animals in front of me. What do you mean?

He went to- He's got a lot of dogs. He does now, which is so weird. But when I was growing up, my very first dog, barely can even talk about it, Jones. Founder, ironically, we went on a family trip to mount rainier and just pulled into a gas station he found this dog this was in a box you know just like a at the gas station they were giving him away yeah brought it home about six months later he decided that that dog will live the rest of its life tied to a dog house with like a three foot long rope

and that was it and it would go it never could run free it could never do anything he blamed it on us he blamed he would he would say he would just say you know that that the dog is barking the dog's been barking for three days because you guys aren't out feeding it or taking care of it or sitting with it and by the way the dog had to live in its own human shit i mean its own dog shit and your dad wasn't shitting on the dog not that i ever saw right but i would not beyond him not put it i wouldn't i wouldn't and you know just it rains a lot yeah so it was just mud and shit and pee and this rope and the dog was covered in it ultimately ended up dying at like four years old threw it in a wheelbarrow made us get in the

car and he was like that's what you that's what you guys did that's what you guys did i was like it was very very how old were you um during that i think it's it was four year period so probably the dog jones probably died around 13 13 and a half you were 13 yeah it was terrible horrible horrible horrible and he would do crazy shit like i was going to my dance i had a seventh grade dance i remember and my friend came over and we're all i had all you know curl in my hair, crimson hair, you know, hairspray, aquanet, just duded up looking for a good finger banging. Good seventh grade time. Yeah. Good finger banging.

Good finger banging. And that's, by the way, that's a lost art. That's another thing. Yeah. But I'm hoping it comes back. Yeah. I think that was the first time I finger banged a girl. Thirteen.

In seventh grade. Yeah. Yeah. Seventh grade. I didn't know what to do. Sure. I did not have any craft at that time. I was just happy to be in there.

Wiggled it around a little bit. Felt the territory. Had no idea what it was supposed to do. Smelled my finger after. Very proud of myself. How did she respond? I'm not sure. I can guarantee you I know how she responded.

Ow. I bet she was like, ow. I don't think I was violent. Well can guarantee you I know how she responded. Ow. Uh-huh. I bet she was like, ow. I don't think I was violent. Well, yeah, I know. But 13-year-old boys, I mean, just like I remember. I was big into, you know. I just didn't have no idea what was supposed to happen down there.

I just wanted to feel it. Right. I was amazed that there was more than one hole. You know, when someone told me that there was like, there was an asshole and then there's the vagina hole and then there's the hole they pee out. I'm like, this sounds complicated. So how will I know I'm not in, my finger's not in the asshole

when I'm in there? Because you got to go through the pants. You're not going to be naked at seventh grade. How do we know? Right. And how did you? It felt like something I'd imagined a vagina to feel like.

Did not feel like an asshole. I didn't have that resistance that an asshole might. And I know that people you can't get yeah, that's you can't you can barely see it Barely. Yeah, so you never really looked hard, but there's a lot of skin to get past and you know that varies, you know so alright, so Right, right. Yeah and dry humping to I want to tell you a lot of that love it love it very good at that oh fantastic it ruins jeans but jeans now you can buy on ebay for like half the price i used to come in my pants constantly it would because it was like this is something i can handle the other thing seems like a lot of work right i'm not good at it yeah she seems to be enjoying this

thing with the pants on yeah and then i know that when i finish it's over and i'm embarrassed but you know uh no one gets hurt is the point i got hurt because i was like why can't i get make this happen outside of my pants that that took another number of years i mean yeah after you really for me to really master that i was well into college yeah okay great great so all right so you reach a lot of people it'd be nice if you could get the word out about finger banging yeah what do you want to say rebecca let's focus in what's the message you want out there well i just think that it's great it's it's easily you can travel you can it can be done anywhere anytime no one gets hurt there's never your neck

look you you may get uh now are you looking to come when you're finger banged? Maybe, yeah. Maybe. If you're going to play the game, don't you want to win? Sure, but that takes some guidance and some focus. And are we talking a clitoral orgasm or a G-spot orgasm with the finger? Whatever's available. How much success have you had with this uh finger banging tour pretty good pretty good

i do all right i do all i do i'm actually gonna looking for sponsors uh-huh um it's a lost art form that i think people just skip over is my point and i don't think we should we all move real fast you know with the internet with social media with our fast everything moves i don't think we have to go so fast yeah you gotta slow it down slow it down yeah yeah how about you freak out and yeah why is everyone running you don't want to you don't want to lose the mood we gotta get this thing in there everyone's so rushing yeah all the time. So you're dressed up for your seventh grade dancing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Good memory.

That fucks that up. Goes, get out there, he says to me, because he knows I'm just about to leave. This is the kind of shit he would pull. Yeah. Get out there. Change the rope on the doghouse. So, in other words, remove a rope that's two feet long where the dog can't move anyways and put on another two foot

long rope and the pouring down rain and the mud and the shit and the pee and i'm dressed yep guess what i had to do it why no choice you do it or you get smacked around period like like smacked around how hard um it would depend on the on the the infraction but you get you piss them off enough you may take a tumble down the stairs you may get a grab on the throat where you can't breathe there's there were times where i had his hand print on my neck couldn't get my you know taking off my shirt would hurt so no one thought to call social services i ran my my mother who i don't talk to why well she's an idiot okay um she she too was like you know she she was just like that's your that's your father by the way she that's how she talks too new england no seattle okay oh that sounded a little midwestern

it sounded like yeah like minnesota like yeah yeah, like Minnesota. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's just like, that's your father. And that's what, you know, God says that you just got to honor your mother and your father. I was like, oh, okay, he's choking me. Or if my room isn't clean, he's smacking me in the closet. You know, that kind of stuff. Yeah. You know, just parenting.

And why don't you talk to your mother exactly? Well, at some point you just go, you went through therapy, right? Yeah, I've gone through periods of not talking to them, to both of them. Right, so you go through it, and you decide. The last trial is you kind of grow up and you just go,

you know, these people are not adding anything. Well, I can see how your father, who's violent and toxic, there's a reason for personal and emotional safety not to engage. But your mother seems manageable. Well, she's not. It depends. She's on the other spectrum.

He's this crazy, violent, yelling, abusive, negative psycho. Yeah. And she is this passive-ag is but jesus like that i don't know which one it's it's a it's a it's the worst of both kind and what is what does she live in a trailer she lives in a trailer yeah she too lives in a trailer so they're both living in trailers and you don't talk to them yeah and you have closure around that yep i do i really think that i do i mean therapy helped you yeah i mean i could do another i could easily do another good round of it what's around how long is that i don't know i mean i don't know you tell me i don't fucking know i've only like people think i'm mr therapy i'm relatively

new to to therapy again well i've gone through a few rounds well give me a round what do you got one month no that's not enough for anything a year that's a good start all right well i think i think we just determined what a round was yeah but a lot of people don't think therapy is worth anything i mean what does the therapist know well you know they do they have a chance to stand back and tell you something right yeah that's it That's it. And sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not good. Yeah, so should I go for another round? Yeah, probably should. Yeah? Why? You got problems? Well, I mean,

I suppose. I mean, I don't have a mom and dad. It's pretty tragic. You have them. They're just in boxes in Washington. No. She's not the daughter. They're both in metal boxes. I will tell you, every time my sister calls, I'm always like oh my god she's gonna say is she gonna say that one of them is dead i mean i don't know their health is i know

my dad had a heart attack at one point i'd heard so you only talked to your sister yeah she's fantastic that's great she's hilarious you got one got one i got a you got do you have one i got a little brother yeah yeah i talked to him okay we him. Okay. We were good. Yeah. But do you ever miss Seattle? Where's your little sister living? She lives in Auburn. Okay. Yeah. I don't miss Seattle whatsoever at all.

I left as soon as I was 18, and I moved to Chicago. Really? Yeah, I lived in Chicago for 10 years. Doing what? I was a janitor on an airplane. This airplane thing and the dog thing, which we'll get to later, runs in your family. Airplane and dog thing? What do you mean?

Your dad worked for Boeing. Oh, yeah. No. I worked for Delta Airlines cleaning planes, cabin service. That's what got me to Chicago. But then I auditioned for Second City. Yeah. Like a year after I got there.

And I went through their training program and all that crap. Wow. Yeah. Never got hired. Right. I'm not a great improviser all that crap. Wow. Yeah. Never got hired. Right. I'm not a great improviser. But you're a dynamic character. Well.

You put that on a business card. Wait a minute. No, but I mean, it seems like you definitely know how to hold the stage and you have a way of being. Well. Very defined. Yeah. No one is like you.

Right. Yeah. That's a blessing and a curse. Yeah. Very much so. Yeah. no one is like you right yeah that's a blessing and a curse yeah very much so but I mean the improvising do you improvise at all or have you not in a structured way well that's the problem that's what I'm telling you

I went through Second City and I studied with like really when I was going through Second City the main stage cast who was on stage who who i got to see every single day because when you're a student back then when you're a student yeah you could just go in and watch everybody perform and stuff and it was awesome and i got you know um steve carell steve colbert um neovardalis mitch rouse amy sedaris all these guys were on stage amazing to you know

farley and all these people were there there yeah wow great time to be there it was i was 20 yeah i was old and i'll be had not done stand-up yet never you just want to take a class because you thought this was a thing no i met i met one of the actresses her name is rose abdu i met her and this other actor named jimmy Doyle in the park with my husband. Because I had just gotten married. To who? To this guy named William Corey. He was my husband.

In Chicago. Yeah. But when I was 18 years old, I had gotten hired at Delta Airlines. And I flew to England because I was obsessed with Morrissey at the time. So you were working at Delta at 18 doing what? Being a janitor on the plane. Yeah. Cabin service, vacuuming.

Yeah. Don't like Delta. Hate it. Yeah. They're the worst. Yeah. Pilots are really aggressive flyers as well. Really?

I'll say it. Yeah. A lot of them are military, ex-military pilots. Yeah. And they land real hard. They take off real sharp yeah they hit air pockets they can't manage it really yeah what do you mean they can't manage your i've been let me tell you something i've been in a delta i've been on a delta flight

and we've hit an air pocket and i thought that's it we were unmanageable we were going back it was not you you hit air pockets all the time yeah we hit an air it was on a delta flight and all the takeoffs and landings i hate yeah and i hate a lot of the behavior of the staff yeah and the rules because i was one of them right went to atlanta i went did the whole thing they were home their hub and all that but just their their flying techniques are really really not great and the pilots are all uh milit ex-military so it's not like they're they're looking to to keep everyone comfy they're like let's just do this yeah they hit an air pocket we drop we went nose first we hit the air pocket and i could feel the front of the nose of

the plane like go and i was like hey i screamed out loud yeah pulled out of it just my point is that this is not pretty and i don't care for him so you fly to england yeah and what happens in england meet a guy there 18 years old meet him second day on there your bang or no finger bang yeah okay uh it was new year's eve went to trafalgar square uh william corey six two black irish chef gorgeous great accent uh-huh um lived in from essex essex is a really hard part of england it's a very tough very kent-esque it's like a ghetto was he an angry man no dad died of all alcohol poisoning when he was four um mom married remarried this guy who was a scumbag and abused the other kids and uh he wasn't angry he's actually very very calm and very sweet and gentle yeah but not good at really talking about stuff. Mm-hmm.

Gorgeous. Stunning. Gorgeous man. And fell madly in love with him. Go back home. He gives me his earring. Very 80s. Yeah.

Gives me his earring. Driving over the London Bridge. Takes out his earring. Puts it in my ear. Coming back. Coming to America to get that earring. Yeah. He tells me.

Yeah. Go back home. Three months later, never returns a call, never returns a letter, nothing. Yeah. I get on an airplane because I can. I work for Delta. It cost me 40 bucks. I go to England by myself on a Friday.

Yeah. Because I want to confront him at work because he's a chef in a Piccadilly Circus at the Holiday Inn. Uh-huh. I go to England by myself because I'm mad. That's follow through. You had to stay mad the whole way. I was furious. That must have been furious because you were flying from Chicago.

It's probably about eight or nine hours. Just a flight, right? Yeah. And then like about two hours on each side. So you were mad. You made a plan and you had to stay focused and mad for about a while. Got off the plane. A long, long time.

Half a day, I would say. Livid. Furious. You get off the plane, you go to Piccadilly Circus. No, I go to the bed and breakfast first. Drop my shit off. Clean up the areas.

Yeah. Get on the train, go to Piccadilly Circus, walk into his work. He's there. Uh-huh. Working. I had no idea if he was or not

because I couldn't get a hold of him. I didn't even know if he even worked there. I tell the guy at the front desk, is William Corey working? Because Corey's not my last name. Yeah. I kept it. I'm like, yes, he is.

Can I ask it? I said, no, you can't. You can't ask who's asking. And they went ahead and got him anyways? I said, ma'am we we do need i said i don't i don't i don't i don't care what you need i'm here and i'm gonna need him to come right out of the side service door which i saw and i need him to come right out and i'll be standing there that's what you can tell him that there's just and they said well could we no you can't tell him who i am you

can't tell my name so So they said, okay. I was standing there. I would not leave until they made a phone call to the kitchen. I could hear the guy on the phone. There's a small American. She seems to be pissed. She would like to speak to you. So they hang up the phone.

They said, you'll be coming out that door in just a few minutes. I go, great. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Thank you for your service. Does this end with him proposing? Keep going. So he comes out the door.

His face looks like he's in shock. Sweating. An angry American has flown across the pond. And by the way, the outfit I was wearing then, wow. Good? Terrible. Okay. Bad news.

You should have done a special in it. I know. So I should have went on Kona. Yeah. Yeah. Should have saved that outfit. Yeah. What was the outfit that this sandbagged man opened the door to?

Beyond sandbagged. Paisley. Yeah. Yellow. Paisley's brown. Paisley's brown. They were tapered, pleated, black slacks. Don't remember the shoes.

I think I blocked it out. Yeah. He walks out. I go, hey. Hey. Hey. With those eyes out? Yeah.

What's up? Yeah. Hey. He's like, he's very soft spoken. Yeah. What's up? Yeah. Hey. He's like, he's very soft spoken. Hello. And I go, I go,

I'm not kidding. Just in the neighborhood. Thought I'd stop by. Great tone. I said, where's the letters? I sent you a lot of fucking letters.

Where are they? You forgot? You didn't write back? It wasn't important? I said remember this earring? I had the earring. Remember I told you you gave me? The earring was in your ear. Yeah. I pointed at it. I said did you forget about that? I didn't.

Yeah. So I took it out. I said give me your hand about that? I didn't. So I took it out. I said, give me your hand. He put his hand out. I slapped it in his hand. And I said, you go fuck yourself. Turn around. Walked away.

Very dramatic. That is when you exit. You don't linger. You have done it. You have flown across. You're saying this as if this is a common thing and that you know you've talked to other people that have done this and there's an instruction this is how it's done when people fly across countries actually i didn't really realize until this

very moment how actually uncommon it is to be honest so i go and i do that and i'm like that's it and i was like shaking heart beating out of my chest i'm like fucking dude i did it yeah fuck him yeah and how dare you fucking fuck me like in my mind i'm like so i'm storming down the street yeah he dramatically comes running back he's shaking you know he's got the shaky lip look could you just please talk to me please talk to me i said no no i've said everything I need to say. You're a fucko. Fuck yourself. How dare you?

Of course he, you know, he's hot. So we talk, go back to the canteen. He gets me a cup of coffee out of the machine. Out of the machine. Yeah.

Classy. Uh huh. So we sit down, we're having a cup of coffee in walks a girl. Really well dressed. Yeah. The opposite of how of coffee. In walks a girl. Really well-dressed. Yeah. The opposite of how I look. She looks great.

Yeah. Tall, thin, I'm short. Yeah. Horrible. I'm wearing the worst outfit. Yeah. She walks in, she starts crying. She looks at me, looks at him, storms out.

This happened in the canteen. Yep. So something's up yeah mm-hmm I go who the fuck was that she had the other year so anyway he's banging her whatever I had married him huh I married him how do you think how does it get from the canteen to marriage well i go back to chicago he ends up coming out to chicago about three months later we take the bus down to city hall so we we we get a dog we adopt a dog and we're in the park we're in uh in a um lincoln park and uh these two actors from second city walked by and they're like can we see your dog i was like yeah he's a little german shepherd puppy

yeah we start talking they're like do you know what second city is i was like no i'd literally been in in chicago i think at this point like two months eight weeks And he's out there now. Yeah. Here's an unbelievable fact. He bought a plane ticket to San Francisco and took a bus from San Francisco to Chicago because he thought San Francisco was right next to Chicago. Uh-huh. That was just a side note. This is good stock to marry into.

Yeah. So wait, so you married him. You were there for what? Less than a year in Chicago and he flew out and you just said, fuck it, let's get married. Yeah. He needed a green card. He did. He did need a green card because he was there. You know, he ended up staying there. He's working at the table at some restaurants. He's a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant chef. How long did you

stay married? Five years. Why'd you stop? Well, he was an idiot. You were an idiot. No, he is. Yeah? Yeah, I mean, you just You were an idiot. No, he is. Yeah? Yeah, I mean, you just, you get, you know, and you're young and the fights and the thing and the, ugh, it's just not good. I mean, I got married at 20 years old.

Got divorced at 25 years old. And our birthday is one day apart. So it just fizzled out. Well, no, there's big fights and, you know, all that crap and, you know, separations and and the walking in the rain the crying and the garbage just like it was like one big it was like one big alanis morissette video or something it was just like a long dramatic and i finally video start you know with your trip to england because i'd like that that would be i guess it does now i I mean, I...

Yeah, it should start there. It's insane, right? To think about that? Then do a time montage thing. Oh, by the way, found out his mother was the one stealing all of the letters and throwing them away

because she knew how much he liked me. So, yeah, I was married to him and then I was engaged to another guy in Chicago after that. Kept trying. Yeah, yeah. And I found him in a a

film with a man. No. Yeah. How? What? Two and a half years. You were engaged to him for how long? Two and a half. Well, we were together two and a half years. Engaged for a year. And you're

what you're i'm at a movie oh oh no i'm at home he's jogging uh-huh and he jogged a lot and i lived on the lake do you know chicago very well a little bit a little bit. Okay, I lived in Rogers Park, the end. I like Rogers Park. Okay. That's where Mainstage Theater is. I play there a lot. Oh, okay. Okay, so he would go jogging on the lake a lot.

And you know what goes on on the lake? Cruising? Yeah. A little of that? A little bit. Mm-hmm. And, you know, just, I'm not saying, I don't have facts but you know i did laundry and i would find numbers of uh just numbers of guys bruce doug running buddies yeah he

made some running on the and i said you know it's weird as i've run before yeah in my life yeah and i don't no one has ever at any point in my entire life i had this conversation with him i said no one has ever at any point in my entire life ever ever ran up to me and handed me their number it was like that you know it's just i don't know i mean these guys we just run a lot you know that's what happens you meet a guy you're running and i said who has a pen yeah who who because that is i literally was like who who has do you have a scrap of paper and a pen on you and when you run up are you like hey you seem to be doing the same action I'm doing.

Do you want to? I don't get it. Anyway, for those four numbers. Running buddies. Fine. You let that go. Because you can't prove anything. If someone's saying that they just like to run and they make friends. But your suspicion was raised a little or were you just completely bearded out?

Well. I guess a beard knows they're a beard. Were you in complete denial? No, I didn't. First time I ever met him, he was in a gay play naked. He was in a play on Belmont Avenue at this gay theater. And he did work at a gay bar. But wait, all of those things sound like

this is maybe a gay guy. Yeah. But? But no. I mean, it was weird. It was like, and I'm a real get inside your shit kind of,

you know? Mm-hmm. Don't I seem that way? You did. You did. Seems like a rough sell now, but'm following i'm on board this guy really threw you a curveball i guess yeah because gay bar quit working at went back to school to be a teacher yeah okay so he he then um whatever he just bottom line i'm at home i'm unloading boxes yeah it's i've been in the we've been together for two and a half years we

moved into this new place we've been there for like six to eight months yeah i'm unloading a box yeah there's boxes you're engaged at this time yeah okay you got a ring. I do. On my hand. Sure. Unloading boxes with the ring on your hand. Pull out a VHS. Like a hand done one or like a. Well, it's a little indie, but it's done. Like someone went to Kinko's. I'll say that.

Okay. You can buy this. It would be in the rental section. I don't know about that. It's not that. What's it called? There was no name on it. What was on the cover?

He was laying on a man, on a man's chest with three roses. And his name was on it. And the other guy's name was on it. His real name? Yeah. So this was not like for... This was like a love letter between two men it wasn't like available for no i'll tell you exactly what it was it wasn't i don't think it's available for

i don't think you can go to block you throw it in the in the vhs yeah you did sure did uh-huh sure did couldn't get it in there fast enough yeah that's one of those things you want to do quick real real quick you can't i couldn't get it out of the box fast. I couldn't get shit on fast enough. Engagement ring shaking with your hands. Yeah, you want to do it so fast. Yeah. I put it in, I play.

I'm in front. Literally, I'm standing alone. It was daylight. Watching your fiance. Doing acting. There's some acting going on. That's how it opens. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Apparently it's a student film for Columbia College. And there's a scene in front of a fireplace. Yeah. These two guys. My fiance in underwear. Yeah. And nothing else.

Yeah. And the man, the other man in underwear and nothing else. Uh-huh. And then some dancing starts. Just, they start moving. You're thinking're thinking still an art film maybe at this point i'm thinking what the fuck is going on yeah okay i guess that was answered for you they start making out now i can't help that i'm kind of turned on because that's who i am as a lady yeah but i'm very aware that that's my fiancee and i'm also aware that that is not what i was aware of no one is not in the agreement not new knowledge new information

as our friend would say new information new. New information. Mm-hmm. No one at any time ever in two and a half years ever said, Hey, Rebecca, just a side note. I did a gay film. Mm-hmm. Did he do it a long time ago? Apparently it was two years before I met him. Okay.

No relief there. Nope. So I'm looking for boners because I want to know. I know you're acting, but I also want to know if you have a boner. Now, I know I've learned

from a very young age, you don't, boners don't mean a lot. Boners are not something you should be flattered by. Yeah. They happen. They come and go.

So I'm thinking, if he has a boner, it's still not, like, in my brain, I'm thinking this is, I was thinking I'm thinking if he has a boner, it's still not like in my brain. I'm thinking this is I was thinking so many. Did he have a boner? Yes, he did. It was not out. There was no jerking or sucking or any of that stuff yet or at all.

Well, here's what's unbelievable. This is this is the part that literally it hurts me. I stopped it when he ended up laying on top of the guy in a bed yeah chest on chest yeah boxers to boxers yeah making out yeah pretty good yeah i stopped it it's something i regret for the rest of my life because i don't know. To this day, I do not know. I stopped it. I was so outraged that I took it out. I put it in and I waited for him to get home.

And when he got home, I sat him down and I said, how was your day? Hey. You said, hey. Yeah. How was your day? How was your day? Hey. You said, hey. Yeah. How was your day? How was your day? Yeah. Good?

Yeah. Was it? Was it? Was it good? Was it a good day? Yeah. Great. Yeah.

How was yours? Wonderful. Yeah. Wonderful. Mine was wonderful, my day. Yeah. Is there anything at all, if I were to ask you right now that you have failed to tell me they're a tiny little piece of you a little tiny piece of information that you

could think of a single fucking thing yeah no uh-huh i took out i had the tape yeah i go bam what about that what about you having a boner with a man. That doesn't ring a bell? His face was like, he was horrified when he saw that. This is before the internet. This guy would leave a tape around. Student film. Why would I tell you about that?

Student film. Why would I? I swear to you. Why would I? I said, I'm going to tell you something right now. That is an important detail to tell somebody that you are going to you intend on spending the rest of your life with that you happen to have a boner with a man and it was filmed how does that escape you how does that escape you he didn't watch the whole movie? He did not.

He did not. Oh, boy. I never did watch the whole movie. I'm so mad about it. So what happened? He basically, this is what's insane, is that in the end, I just, I believed him. And I, he basically was just like, it was a student film. And, you know, is what it is.

And I didn't do anything wrong. He loves it, guy. Yeah. I mean, I think, I don't know. But, you know, yeah. And then I stayed with him for like another six months. And then I was like, you know, it's a wrap on that. I don't, I'm done. Why?

Because more numbers, more running? No, just everything. I just couldn't, I couldn't shake it all off. It was a lot. It was a lot. And I've said to him, you know, have you ever had a penis in your mouth i want to know right now have you and i said and then you don't know it's not it's not anything to be ashamed of i just want you to tell me have you ever put a penis in your mouth i have the right to know that

i have a ring on my finger yeah and he was like no did you ask him the other did you ever tell me if you ever put a penis yeah and i was like have you ever touched a man have you ever wanted to be with a man are you a gay man are you gay if you're gay just tell me we can totally be friends that's a total lie but i was saying like we can be friends but you just have to tell me and he was like no i am not i said if you ever wanted to you aren't living I said, have you ever wanted to? You aren't living it, obviously, but have you ever wanted to? When you jog and you meet a man, what does that make you feel? He was like, Rebecca, you are fucking making shit up. There's nothing I'm going to ever say that's going to make you.

I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I said, you may want to be with me for the rest of your life, but you may want to put your dick inside of a man, and that's fine. But what I'm asking you to do is tell me. Anyway, it didn't work out. Rough morning, I bet. Well, it was actually afternoon. Yeah. And then I moved back home briefly to Seattle for a minute, and then moved to LA.

Now, have you ever done any research on that guy? Where that and? the move to LA. Now, have you ever done any research on that guy? Where that and? Five years ago, I learned that if you put a person's name in Google but you put the things around it, the quotes,

it will narrow down the search. Okay. Looked him up. Yeah. He's now teaching at a college in a suburb. He's teaching girls basketball. Married. Two kids. Did you keep the tape? I didn't.

Anyway, what does that say? It says that I was wrong. I could have walked away from a guy who was really willing to be dedicated to me for the rest of his life. You don't know that that's true. Married two kids.

So what? Some of the greatest gay men in the world have been married with kids then i moved back to seattle for a minute and saved money and moved to la and started doing comedy literally like three months after i got here i had an agent and she said go do stand-up comedy at the improv didn't even know what the improv was. She said it's a showcase for a thing called the Montreal Comedy Festival. First time I ever did stand-up comedy

was at the improv. Yeah. I did five minutes. Yeah. I got accepted into the Montreal Comedy Festival. And you went. New faces.

New faces. How'd that go? Great. Great. Did a guest star on Anthony Clark. You know, he was hosting it. Yeah.

He put me on Yes Dear, did a first guest star from there. I mean, I did a lot. I got a movie. I did a lot of good stuff after that. Uh-huh. Then completely mismanaged. All right. So you had a good run.

I had a good run. Had a good run. Now I'm an advocate, an activist on top of all that. And you do good comedy. You've been familiar, funny. That was really fun. Yeah. Thanks for letting me do that.

Yeah. That was a good, you have a loyal following of people who love you so much. You're so lucky. I have like 12, I think, people who are like into me. Well, you're just not out there enough. Yeah, well. So tell me about the advocacy. What's the group called?

Well, my foundation is called the Stand Up For Pits Foundation. And you basically deal with abused pits. Yes, pit bulls. Pit bulls, yeah. They're my favorite. And you have an abused victim. I do.

That you love. I love her so much. Every time I think of you and her, I just remember when we were playing, what were we playing, Tile Rummy? Yeah, something like that. And she walked on the tiles and you went, nope. And you put two fingers between her eyes and she just stopped.

The new thing for her. It made me laugh. Sorry. You just went, nope. It's like, I thought it was kind. It was amazing.

It was two fingers in between her eyes and she just sort of froze. She like thought about it like this is weird continue to walk across and then i'm gonna walk across yeah yeah she's pretty awesome so yeah it's all inspired by her and you know people are get her people are fucked up um i got her through a small rescue group. I had lost a dog and I was devastated by it. And I started going on a few weeks after my other dog passed away. I went online and just read about her story and contacted the rescue. And someone had apparently, you know, home cropped her ears.

I don't know, razor blades, scissors, whatever. And someone had battery acid all over her back. And so she was a mess and she'd had her knee replaced a rescue did pull her but she they kept her alive in the south central shelter for like two months which is unheard of and so they were like do will you foster her because she just got her knee replaced and so i said yeah and of course like three weeks later i was absolutely in love with her and then i started learning about how people hate them so much and i'd be walking down the street and people would be bolting to the other

side of the street. And I, you know, I would be like, what the fuck is going, what is going on? And I would, you know,

if I, if a kid was walking toward me, the parent would, and I was like, what? I had no idea. I, I just was like,

and finally I said to someone, what the fuck is your problem? Like, is this, you got a problem? And, um, since then I've learned to talk what the fuck is your problem? Like, is this, you got a problem? And since then, I've learned to talk to the public a little bit better. But I learned people fear these dogs for their life. And it's absolutely insane.

It's absurd. And it's mainly the media. And so I've been, I dedicated one year of my life to organize the first ever march on washington i've permitted the west lawn of the u.s capital myself we got crazy 13 like the average age dog fighters like 13 to 21 years old they're fighting young boys are fighting dogs and mutilating them and lighting them on fire and fighting them in trunks of cars and fighting them in U-Hauls. And it's insane. And it's like our government has spent tons of money

on studies that show that if you abuse an animal, the chances of you abusing a human is very likely that you will go on to commit a crime. So it's a societal problem. Yeah, for sure. Because I'm not a very political kind of gal. Yeah. I'm not really into that.

Uh-huh. But I just hate discrimination, and I hate that, you know, angry people, scared, fearful people are so quick to say, let's, you know, kill them all. Oh, one bit of kid, well, kill it. Kill them all. It's insane so

i'm i'm taking you know i'm i've taken a lot of crap for it it's not a popular cause it's not when you say the word pitbull yeah immediately people are like what's the flack you get i've had death threats from people who hate pitbulls they've said i hope you know people who are victims of pitbulls or i've never met or or ever spoken to a person who's a victim of a pitbull and i certainly don't i'm i would never if a pitbull hurt a human i certainly don't think that that's okay i don't think that an animal hurting an animal or an animal hurting a person or vice versa is okay in by any means but i also think knowledge and facts are important and you know the for over three decades this breed is the most targeted breed in the world they're they're banned everywhere they are they can be seized from your hands as

you're walking down the street in canada and it's So yeah, it's been a huge part of my life and it's, the flack is just like, you know, you don't, you don't, I guess, I mean, have you ever stood up for something that you really, really believe in? There's always people that hate you. Oh yeah. Right? Yeah, they'll hate you just for believing in yourself. You feel good? Yeah, I can't wait for my dad to hear do you think he has a radio he'd need a computer oh he's not gonna hear it yeah i feel like we taught i think that a lot of people learned stuff today sure sure a lot about a lot of things you know how to you know

stalk someone internationally the momentum needed the telltale signs that someone you might be engaged to is gay stalk someone internationally. The momentum needed. The telltale signs that someone you might be engaged to is gay. Right. The need for more finger banging. Right. What else did we do? We really did.

Mobile gums. We learned about mobile gums. We learned about also... Animal abuse activism. Yeah. And specifically the job of plugging the holes on the planes. With putty. With putty. We hate Delta.

Delta's bad. Grabbing your child by the neck is abuse, but sometimes you can't do anything about it because mommy's simple. That's exactly. I see you have a needlepoint thing there I may actually needlepoint that up mommy is simple are you conscious of the fact that you had that traumatic experience when you were

a young teenager with that dog that your father abused do you see that as a source to your activism I see that as a source to your, to, to your activism? I see it as a, I see it as the absolute a hundred percent source of why I do this because I, the dog's name was Jones. I can't even talk about the dog with my sister or any, with my sister or any it's like something that we it's this really gross dark secret so it's something i you know i wake up thinking about i have nightmares about still yeah yeah

it's a horrible horrible horrible horrible feeling and it's a it's a hundred percent. I think it's what definitely without question. It's what makes me it gives me the strength to continue on. If when people are being like when I'm getting bombarded by the animals, the stupid idiots in the animal community or idiots that hate pit bulls or idiots in general telling me I don't know what i'm doing or doing it wrong or whatever i think that that's that experience carrying it with me through for years still being disgustedly haunted by it enraged by it uh yeah because i feel that, you know, obviously my cause is for pit bulls because I feel like in a lot of ways they're like that dog. They have no voice. They're innocent. They're being, they have, there is no way for them, that the underdog, they are never ever going to be, unless someone stands up and does something, they're never ever going to be saved. Why are you laughing?

I'm getting choked up because you're... Are you? Well, you're the underdog too. Well... Thank you. Man, she's full of the beans there, Rebecca Corey. That was fun. Look, folks, as always,

WTFpod.com for all your WTF pod needs. If you're new to the show, go get that free app. Upgrade to premium. Stream them all. Do it up. Leave some comments. Do whatever you want. Buy some merch. My hands. My hands are tingling.

Maybe it's because I drink too much. Pow! Look out. I just shit my pants. Justcoffee.coop. Available at WTFpod. Get the WTF blend.

I get a little on the back end there. I seem kind of chipper. I'm a little out of my mind. Oh, tonight I'm Aaron on IFC. Boomer. Boomer. Boomer lives! It's winter, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats.

Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those. Moose? No. But moose head? Yes. Because that's alcohol, and we deliver that too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, groceries, and other everyday essentials.

Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Calgary is an opportunity-rich city, home to innovators, dreamers, disruptors, and problem solvers. The city's visionaries are turning heads around the globe

across all sectors each and every day. They embody Calgary's DNA. A city that's innovative, inclusive, and creative. And they're helping put Calgary and our innovation ecosystem on the map as a place where people come to solve some of the world's greatest challenges. Calgary's on the right path forward. Take a closer look at CalgaryEconomicDevelopment.com.