WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 538 - Ian Karmel/Ron Funches

Episode Date: October 1, 2014

The Portland comedy scene is booming, with Ian Karmel and Ron Funches being two of its greatest exports. In this double-header episode, Ian tells Marc about becoming a local Portland celebrity and leaving it behind for a soul-crushing experience in Los Angeles. Then Ron expains how he maintains such a cheerful disposition in the face of his demanding responsibilities as the father of an autistic child. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fucking ears what the fuck nicks what the fuckables uh what the fuckleberry fins how's it going i am mark maron this is wtf welcome to the show today double header uh portland it's a portland double header with ian carmel and ron funches now the one thing about having these guys on today i interviewed them at different times but i put them together because there was sort of a theme to it in my mind is that i know a lot of you realize that comics all know each other uh well a lot of us know each other but a lot of us came up together and what that really means is that we were part of a comedy scene and when i was starting out in new york it was very specific i mean there were comedy scenes in other places but the primary comedy scenes when i was coming up well you had new york you had la you had boston you had san francisco

they had healthy comedy scenes where you could live and work and do comedy and develop and maybe even make a little money. Now, almost every fucking city in the country has a comedy scene. There are comedy scenes everywhere. A lot of that has to do with the evolution of comic produced shows. There's a lot of alternative venues that have happened and changed the face of comedy. But these guys, Ian Carmel and Ron Funches, both come from the Portland scene. There are a couple of generations behind me. But you talk to these guys, they both knew each other.

And at one time, Portland only had one club, and they had a fight to get on there if they even got in there. But there were other areas. There were other clubs, alternative venues. I mean, and they talk about the other cats that are up there, Shane Torres, Sean Jordan, Whitney Streed, Dwight Slade, who's actually my generation, lives up there, Augie Smith, Amy Miller. And there's like a whole world of comics up in Portland.

Andy Wood, who put on the Portland Comedy Festival initially. It's a thriving scene, and these are a couple of guys they've delivered. Delivered. That's right. Ian Carmel, Ron Funches were delivered to show business from Portland. And that's why I have them bunched together, themed. I mean, when I was coming up, there's some great memories about being a young comic and living this life which is a very peculiar life it's uh you know it's it's an entertainer's life you're up late at night you're waiting to do spots by the time you're done with

your evening it could be one two in the morning and back in new york it would be it'd be me todd berry louis ck sarah silverman jeff ross david tell you know we'd all end up at the kiev which Back in New York, it would be me, Todd Berry, Louis C.K., Sarah Silverman, Jeff Ross, Dave Attell. You know, we'd all end up at the Kiev, which isn't there anymore. Two, three, four in the morning, eating pie, eating ice cream, talking about stuff. That was the time when we really socialized. I mean, we weren't usually going home until the sun was coming up. And you could do that because we were fucking comedians. And there was something about those times.

There was an innocence to it all. And to see how everybody turned out and how everybody evolved and at that time we were all trying to figure out why we were funny how we were funny but you had a certain camaraderie there and it kept you going comedians need that you can't develop in a vacuum it's very amazing that almost every city in the country you know now has its own scene and that camaraderie is available and that you can do that. I hope that all the places in the country have a lot of places you can eat late at night because that was essential to my development as a stand-up comedian. Now, I want to tell you, when I was up in Portland working at Helium, once Helium came around and all these cats had a place to work and at least to open and feature and do some open mic work, it really kind of congealed,

solidified the Portland scene in a lot of ways. I would go up there and always get a local opener. And that's where I met Ian Carmel, Ian Carmel. I can't remember if he opened or featured for me. I think he actually did both. I think the first time I was there, he opened and I'm like,

Holy shit, this guy's strong. And then he featured for me. And I'm like, both. I think the first time I was there, he opened and I'm like, holy shit, this guy's strong. And then he featured for me and I'm like, holy shit, how am I going to follow that? This guy's an animal. This Ian Carmel fella. It's a big boy with a big tone, big jokes.

I also met Funches up there too. He did a guest spot for me. That was the first time I met him up in Portland. And then you just sort of know there's a sens spot for me. That was the first time I met him up in Portland. And then you just sort of know there's a sensibility to Portland. There's a lot of creativity up there. And now Ian's down here. But he's got a hell of a story.

So let's talk now to Ian Carmel, and then we'll do Funches after him. Was I trying to give you a pep talk about L.A. before you left? You did give me a... Yeah, you were... I mean, you were great the whole way. I emceed for you once upon a time. Twice. Twice.

I emceed and I also featured for you. You emceed for me once and then you featured for me, what, once or twice? At the club. And then also you let me at the Aladdin Theater in Portland. Oh, I did, right? Remember that show? That was a fun show. It was. There was some sort of plumbing problem. club and then also you let me at uh the aladdin theater in portland oh i did right remember that show that was a fun show it was there was a some sort of plumbing problem there was a plumbing problem and somebody brought you a loaf of banana bread which you let me take home that's right i

ate like half of it on the way home yeah yeah right so uh so what did i say tell me tell me tell me a good thing about me because i i need to hear it you told i mean i'll tell you several good things you were very encouraging just from the beginning, saying like, if you come down to LA, let me know. I'll get you on shows. And I took you up on it. I don't know if people take you up on it, but I did. And you came through with it.

I got on show. I got to do comedy, death ray, bang bang, whatever it was called at the time, before it ended. And maybe before I was ready. But, well, I don't know. I think it went well. But, like, yeah, you did that, and then you were also encouraging about coming to L.A. You're like, go do it.

You know, get down there. Why not? And a little bit of like, why aren't you down there yet? Yeah. When are you coming? That was right. I went back up there. I'm like, are you going to stay up here?

You still doing here? What are you still doing here? You're going to be stuck here, buddy. Exactly. And that made me think about those people who do get stuck in their scenes every scene you see them when you're on the road and it's it hurts your soul that's the you know stand-up comedy can be very sad even for successful people yeah and then when you see those people who are like stuck yeah in kansas city they've been there forever they can't leave or they've convinced themselves they can't leave yeah because you know quite honestly it's interesting because those kind of people with

that type of personality they might not be able to cut it here yeah you know like you know if you go sort of like all right i guess i'm coming you know like if you're not if you're not like this is it yes i think you need to jump you need to jump into it like and yeah and throw yourself into it yeah and do whatever you got to do some people get uncomfortable if they go a couple weeks between, like, paying gigs. You know, they're used to, like, they were born on the road. Yeah, well, that's a killer, too, right? Yeah. It can be.

They can. Even, like, very funny comedians who would do well here never stay long enough to put down roots. Right. You know, and they're always off. Yeah, yeah, and they don't ever engage in the thing. They've always got their eye on the road still. Right, right. I live in LA, but I don't really get, you know, they're like, yeah, I don't get asked to do much.

I'm like, no one's going to ask you to do anything. People are so afraid of asking to do stuff. I don't understand. It's so competitive. But I guess if you think, I think my opinion is if you think you're funny, you should ask to do things. If you think you're going to take advantage of an opportunity and do well and reflect well upon the people who recommended you, why not get in there and do it? It's going to be some other schmuck doing it. Well, that was the thing about you.

Even when you emceed for me that time, I'm like, holy fuck, this guy's got some momentum. I'm like, what the fuck? how long has this guy been doing it you just had you get up there you own the fucking stage you're big boy anyway i am a big boy yeah but but but despite that i mean i think that can work in your favor but you know you you definitely had the confidence in this sort of uh kind of bravado yeah i don't know if it is a bravado just as sort of like this you you're gonna reckon with me there was there's no insecurity that i saw i don't i don't i i don't feel any on stage i don't is that always the case yeah i i mean i the first like performance i ever did was i took an improv class in college in portland in portland oregon at portland state

university yeah my uncle scott parker taught it and i needed an arts credit yeah i was going i was eventually going to go to law school my dad's a lawyer and i wanted to go be a lawyer but uh you needed an arts credit so i was like i'll take this improv class it should be easy and then uh i made people laugh you know like kind of like right off the bat it was the same kind of shit you do in class to be clever. Yeah. You know, you just have to be quick with an answer. Yeah.

Everybody knows how to be funny. Yeah. Right? No. No, that's true. Doesn't it feel like it almost seems like people as you get older got less and less funny? Well, no, I think that there are some people that can't help themselves. Yeah.

And they're the people that cause trouble. The class clowns. Yeah. I was never one of those you weren't i was no like i would come in i would i would have like a funny answer to a question you know that a teacher would ask but i was never the kind of person who would like pull my balls out and tell them like look at the robin's egg or whatever there were people who did that that's not a class class this guy sean this guy sean simmons that's a kid with a problem he's pulling his balls he's doing that in front of class? He would do it in front of the class.

Or he'd pull it out on the slide, like, look at this. Look at this. Yeah, no, that's not a class clown. Oh, okay. That's a sex offender. Kind of. How'd he end up that kid? I don't know how you end up that kid.

No, but how long did you know that kid? I knew that kid until the end of high school. How'd he end up in high school? What'd he do in high school? Was he still showing his balls? He was on the football team with me. Football? I played football. I-huh. Football.

He was... I played football. I had to. I'm gigantic. And they wouldn't leave me alone. The thing I didn't get about you was, like, you know, I was in Portland. You know, I don't quite understand Portland. And, you know, here you are. You're this big, you know, gregarious Jew that was clearly built somewhere else.

You know, like... Yeah. I mean, how the fuck does Ian Carmel end up in Portland, Oregon? I'm from Beaverton, which is just nine miles outside of Portland. Wait, wait, no. Somewhere, you came through New York somewhere. My father's from Brooklyn. There.

Yeah. So what was that? I don't know. He's from Brooklyn, and he's like a normal-sized version of me, maybe a little more self-obsessed. So you got grandma, grandpa in Brooklyn, or what? They live in Florida now. But they were in Brooklyn? They were in Long Island when I was growing up, but they were from Brooklyn.

My father's dad died before I ever met him, and my grandmother remarried. She was from Europe, and my father's dad, who died before I met him, was also from Europe. They escaped the Holocaust. She was from Belgium. He was from Paris. And they have pretty interesting stories. My grandmother had to hide in a Catholic convent for a couple years, and the nuns smuggled her out. Did she tell you that story?

My dad told me this story. Yeah, yeah. I haven't talked to her. She's still alive. I haven't talked to her about it. She doesn't, I mean, she goes around to schools. Like, I know all the stories that I feel like she'd be comfortable telling me. Yeah.

And then I feel like there's stories that she wouldn't be comfortable telling me, but maybe I should ask. Why would I not? I don't know, because sometimes you don't think it's the right thing to do. It feels like it's not the right thing to do. Like, it feels like, I think there's a lot of grandparents now that are being assaulted by their grandchildren with cameras all these npr yeah tell me the story about the about when grandpa died in the fire right yeah all these exactly all these people

they want to like record their grandmother being sad and then slowly fade in a sibo motto track in the background and then fade it back out while she starts another story like although there's a whole generation of those people i I feel like it's hard. How do you talk to a Holocaust survivor? Her whole family was like that. You start with, like, that was bad, right? Yeah, like, that was some shit, right? Yeah, right?

The Nazis. Yeah, I had a rough day, but you? You've had some rough days. Yeah. Tell me about that Nazi thing where you were running for your life. Your sister didn't make it. How did that make you feel? Sometimes I don't call my sister for a week. Did sister didn't make it how did that make you feel sometimes i don't call my

sister for a week uh did her sister not make it there were like two uh there's a family picture that my dad has that looks like that one back there on the shelf yeah it does exactly let same tone sepia tone and like and very like dour jewish faces uh dour jewish dour but there's there's more of a it's like it's like a bigger picture there's probably like i want to say 12 or 15 people in the picture yeah and like two of them made it out oh yeah and then there's my dad's side yeah where uh they stayed in the same apartment in paris yeah for a couple years during the nazi occupation of paris yeah and who knows i mean the implications of what what his mother had to do.

Yeah, yeah. I can't imagine it. I can't imagine. It's insane. Well, maybe that's... Wait, so there's the mother, the woman that you don't know how to talk to about? That was the one who hid in the monastery.

Whose mother is that? That's my dad's mother. All right, but who's the one that lived in Paris? That's my dad's father. Oh, okay. Who died. Right. And his one that lived in Paris? That's my dad's father. Oh. Who died. Who died. Right.

And his, I mean, my dad. He had a bunch of sisters. No, it was just him and his brother. Okay. Who like ended up in Israel or something or staying in France. I forget. It's all very murky. It's hard as a Jew to get too involved in family detail, like family history and stuff

like that because there was so much movement and tragedy. Around that time. Yeah. Yeah, I think all my people were here. They missed it. Yeah. They got out before. They came in from Russia and they come in from Poland before.

But they had their own shit. They had their own battle. Well, just the fact that they had to get here on a boat. That's bad. Could you imagine a fucking boat? No. No, I can't. A boat that you had

that was the only option? It's not a cruise. I get bitchy sitting in traffic alone in an air-conditioned car. Like, you know, we're going to the new world

and what are the options? Well, we can't take a train. It's water. Yeah. There's no commercial airlines. We're going to be on a boat for a month. They're on that ship

just eating like a pot of boiling water with a stick of celery in it. That's what you picture. They're going to be on a boat for a month. They're on that ship just eating like a pot of boiling water with a stick of celery. Yeah, yeah. That's what you picture. I can't imagine they were on the top tier there. It couldn't have been much nicer. No, they're not coming over having like a delicious. Not on the Titanic.

Yeah. Yeah. Fortunately. All right. So you were born in Beaverton? I was born in Portland. Really? And lived there until I was one.

Yeah. I have like kind of a, my dad has a pretty thick accent. And then we would go to New York. Where's your mom from? She's from Portland. So how did he end up there? Law school. He came out to a Lewis and Clark Law School because he was kind of a, he was a hippie

and he wanted to be an environmental lawyer. That's a good school though, right? It's a good school. Yeah. He was, you know, he's that first generation of immigrant where you have to work hard and accomplish things yeah and then i'm that second generation of immigrant where i get to try to be a comedian yeah because because he earned because he earned a good living he earned you the right to not give a fuck right exactly and he didn't he didn't instill any values in you and then my parents got divorced so he couldn't

come down on me too hard about pursuing improv. So wait, he goes to Lewis and Clark to be a hippie lawyer. Yeah. Where does he end up? Doing divorce. Oh, the death of a dream. Yeah. It happens eventually.

I'm writing for a TV show on E. You know, it all eventually happens. And he dated my, he dated my aunt for a little bit first. And then eventually met my- Your mother's sister? Yeah, my mother's sister. And then met my mother. And then they were married for 10 years, had a couple of kids. What'd she do?

She's a nurse. Still? Yeah. She's a baby nurse. Oh, yeah? Uh-huh. So you got two sisters? I got two sisters, older sister, younger sister.

My younger sister and I have the same dad ivan the lawyer and then my older brother and older sister have a different dad who passed away when they were uh in their teens okay yeah but we were all raised together it's never felt like we were really similar you're all with your mother with all of my mother yeah yeah and she took in like their friends too she's one of those just like the door is open like people coming and going in the house my older brother and older sister they would have friends who would come live with us for like a week or two yeah they they would you know like these like like suburban troublemakers you know driving around in like a mazda and like hitting mailboxes with a baseball bat kind of people yeah um yeah and they would come and stay with us for for weeks like sometimes like a month at a time.

Yeah. In the house. Yeah. And for me, that was great. Like, my brother's nine years older than me and his friends were all cool, you know, so I got to kind of like hang around. Did they turn you on to the music? Yeah, they would a little bit.

Yeah. Like with- You need those guys, right? Rap music. Yeah. Oh, with the rap. They did. Yeah.

I got into like, they would listen to like Too Short and NWA around the house really and i got into that and then metallica too oh yeah that from two different siblings through that no that's all from my older brother and his friends he's just like loud hard stuff and i i still like i think that is important to have that formative influence yeah if you don't have them you got to go find them how else do you figure out what's cool so you got all these sibs no you have a nutty uncle too i do i have an yeah the guy who taught me improv what the hell is that guy's story he's uh he married my mom's sister the one my dad initially dated yeah and uh they're not even living together anymore but they had one of those they had like a uh very uh uh civil just divorce where they're just like well we're done here yeah we're done and then they just sort of went their separate ways yeah uh he was just a guy my aunt and my uncle actually my uh

uncle tommy improv and my aunt who he was married to were both like in theater in portland doing like uh doing plays doing improv groups and like shitty basements places and uh and doing all that sort of stuff but they all stayed in port. Yeah. Everybody stayed in Portland. Yeah. And, you know, eventually taught like he did. And my aunt, like, she would do a play every, like, year or something. Yeah, yeah. You know, like the menopause, the musical type shit. Yeah, yeah.

And, yeah, but my uncle, he's the guy who I learned improv from. And then I would, like, TA his class. Yeah. And eventually he helped push me, like, out of Portland. And to stand up. And he's still around? He's still around, class. Yeah. And eventually he helped push me out of Portland. In to stand up. And he's still around? He's still around, yeah. He's going to retire from teaching soon. Was there another one?

Was there a bad seed somewhere? There's a lot of bad seeds on my mom's side of the family. Everybody dies from heroin on my mom's side of the family. They all live in Portland and do heroin. It's stereotypical. Everything's like a Gus Van Sant movie.

Is it stereotypical to be a grown man with a career? And it's like, oh, yeah, what does your family do? Well, one side of the family does heroin. Yeah. It's Portland. My mom's a nurse, and there's a bunch of other people. They just do heroin. On my dad's side, they're kind of like artists.

On the mom's side, heroin junkies. I've lost two aunts and an uncle. Really? They do heroin on my dad's side they're kind of like artists on the mom's side heroin junkies i have i've lost three i've lost two uh two aunts and an uncle really heroin yeah uh one married pair anton my uncle john and uh and cheryl his wife both died from heroin years apart and then just recently my aunt judy like last year a year and a half ago it's horrible they can't it's it's horrible the thing with like my aunt jud Aunt Judy is she was a wonderful, completely sweet woman, but one of those people where she was effectively dead from the amount of drugs she'd done

pretty much the whole time I knew her. So when she died, it was very sad, but it was also just like... The natural course of things. It seemed like it had been coming for so long. But how old are these people? Portland has been sort of a heroin port. for a long time for a long time what from uh where's it come from from china from vietnam or is it it's not the mexican heroin is it do you listen i think it's i think it's local i don't know i don't know where the what's

got to come in right right because it's got to be poppies yeah well it's got to come in from somewhere but you know but that's a weird feeling like i never spent much time in in portland but i spent a little time in seattle you get up there into the pacific northwest and there's a heaviness to it it's a big heaviness and there's a darkness to it that like now people watch portlandia and they're like oh it's all goats and you know and artisanal cheeses and quinoa and shit like that it's not like even even the little circle of portland that that Portlandia talks about, it has a big, heavy dark side to it. Well, I mean, you grew up there

because now it's completely changed. It has. You know, because like, when I go up there, I feel like, you know, there's a type of darkness and it's not a seediness, but there's sort of an ended,

you know, sort of the last stop on the train feeling. It's absolutely the last stop. Well, that's like Chuck Palahniuk wrote that book, Fugitives and Refugees, about Portland, which is great. He said it's the last stop.

People from the rest of the country, it's almost like the- Either they go to Florida or they go to Portland, depending on what they're propelled towards. Exactly. They all sort of drain towards it. Yeah. If they're more artistic, they end up in Portland. And if they just want to- Bleak and artistic.

Yeah. Or if they just want to go to the beach because they earned it. or are they pensacola right yeah or if their lives have gone so hard horribly wrong they need to settle in key west that's all oh god literally the end of the line yeah exactly they've been chased there uh yeah did you feel that growing up you would see it when you would walk around downtown when you're a kid because you so you you know you're what 29 all right so let's say 20 years ago before there was any glimmer of like uh artisanal anything there was no pock pock there was no there was no pork belly sandwiches powell's was there but it was just a bookstore it was a hippie bookstore right rather than an idea yeah right so it was it was a small town yeah and it was a small dark. Yeah. And it was a small, dark town with no black people.

Absolutely not. No, because they let that part of town flood. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it was on the books that we can't have the black people here for a long time. It was an incredible... Oregon itself was incredibly racist for the longest time. And there was skin...

My dad got beat up by a skinhead outside of like a 7-11 uh like in 1982 83 you know fairly recently just got like he might have my mom changed she says like he was talking shit to the skinheads but there were still skinheads right by idaho and that's not known for anything good ever i don't know if i if idaho ever goes through like a portland change that would be amazing yeah it's not gonna happen it's never gonna happen yeah uh yeah it's known for tm and for for off the grid white supremacy exactly yeah it's got it's and it's great at both of them it's great but people know they would you'd see street kids you'd see strung out people who like even one of your nine who don't look like too much older than you you know like teenagers yeah uh there's a huge like lots of homeless teenagers in Portland,

all strung out on heroin. Right. The same with Seattle before Seattle took a turn. Yeah. You know, because there was a big runaway contingent, big heroin problem up there. I wonder where the fuck it comes in. If it's Seattle, it's got to come in from like-

From Asia, right? From Asia, yeah. It's got to be from the ports. Portland, I mean, is a port city as well. Not to the level Seattle is, but it's got to be coming in there. Well, yeah, because it's like, you know, is a port city as well. Not to the level Seattle is, but it's got to be coming in there. Well, yeah, because it's like the Asians and Japanese. And it's got to be like that Golden Triangle shit from Vietnam and stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. It's probably been going in there since just after the Vietnam War and shit. I'm sure it has. Yeah. Yeah. But when you grew up with these, did you feel like a lot of members of your family were part of that kind of like that hippie thing? I't i don't know if they were hippie like i see pictures of my uncle john who died when i was 13 he died the day after my bar mitzvah uh really yeah or like two days

that i think it was the day after did he go to your bar mitzvah he did uh-huh yeah did he look bad no no that's the thing i mean when like a heroin addict dies it tends to be because they got clean right or they get bad dose they get a bad dose or they get clean and then try to take as much as they were taking right right and then just completely fucked themselves up because their body's not used to it what happened with john that's what happened to him that's what happened to my aunt as well she like she died right after she got out of treatment. Ugh. Yeah. It's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking. They both left children behind, you know? And the family took in my Uncle John's kid and my Aunt Judy. Her children were fully grown.

But like, it's... And there's a lot. You'll have... It's just a weird thing that people don't realize is that there's a woman with fully grown children who's been on and off being strung out for decades. Their entire life entire life yeah and you just don't think of like you know mom my mom's a heroin addict my aunt she's a you know functioning heroin addict exactly exactly it's a unique thing you can think about your parents you know like well they're kind of messed up but they're not functioning heroin addict right and that's real life for somebody yeah you know it's not like a

compelling show your life drama it is yeah yeah. She would, you know, she'd show up to Christmas and I could never suss it out because she'd always been like that but my mom would be like, oh, she's fucked up.

Yeah. You know, right now. Coming to like, coming to like holiday parties. So your mom's not Jewish. She converted before I was born. Really?

So your dad really had the pull on her. He did have the pull on her. Yeah. He really, he wanted Jewish children and I think his parents really wanted Jewish children but she grew up a pretty much a religious i think from a

cat so you got christmas and the hanukkah yeah it was great yeah yeah and then when they got divorced i got like christmas and christmas and hanukkah uh-huh yeah so you grew up with all these cousins yeah and everyone's around tight family you seem pretty well adjusted i'm decently well adjusted i i i feel like there's something like there's a giant squid of being fucked up swimming around somewhere in my ocean and like science just hasn't been able to capture it on film yet yeah yeah yeah yeah you maybe when you're 40 i don't know when it's gonna happen but i feel like i almost feel like i should preemptively go to therapy yeah you had to get the squid yeah just to find it yeah i really do

feel sometimes i'll feel bad like why aren't i fucked up i'm a comedian i should be more fucked up right you're a little fucked up i'm a little fuck i mean i'm a i'm fat i can't stop eating i'm trying to you know when did that start i don't like when i was like 12 13 you just can't stop eating i just started packing it on yeah but you're one of those guys i can't what do you i can't picture you thin it's hot it would be hard to be thin yeah i'm trying to be i'm trying to be like hollywood fat yeah which i'm getting you know i'm kind of there already but like i just want to be healthier i don't want to end up like you i mean john panett just died you know panett lived life to its fullest though he did yeah it wasn't just food with him but you don't see too many old

fat comedians you know and that worries me you see't see too many old fat comedians, you know, and that worries me. You see like 50s comedians, but 50s fat was like they were 170 pounds. Right. Well, you see old fat comedians that have got the operation or they look like half the people used to be. If I lose this weight, I got to do it before like 35 where people start, where you get that weird, I used to be fat neck. You can't be funny with that.

It's not funny. It's funnier to be fat. It's I used to be fat neck. You can't be funny with that. It's not funny. It's funnier to be fat. It's funnier to be fat. I used to be fat neck. I used to be fat. It's the worst. And then they'll wear form-fitting clothes, too, because they're so excited about their new body.

And everybody that sees them, that knows them, thinks they must be sick. Yeah, yeah. And they feel great. What happened to you? Nothing happened. I'm a new man. Yeah, yeah. And they feel great. What happened to you? Nothing happened. I'm a new man. It's crazy.

Yeah, when you can see a fat person's bones, you automatically assume like, oh, something went wrong. You might want to add that part of your colon back. I need to get like Jonah Hill right now, fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's pretty. He carries it pretty well. He does pretty good with it. So, all right.

So you grow up. You're always a pretty gregarious kid. And know people like you yeah yeah you got the fee i got the feeling from you that people like you people people seem to like me i like i like a lot of people yeah too i mean i'll talk shit you know you'll get together with like you know funches or other friends or whatever and you'll you'll sit around and talk shit i gotta talk to funches you should talk to fun i think we got it on the books. I think you do have it on the books. Yeah, yeah.

All right, so what is the decision-making process around being funny? So you end up playing football. I played football. But you were like one of those football guys you had free reign. You weren't a jock jock. No way.

The weird thing about my high school football team is none of the good football players were jocks. Like our quarterback was in like ap classes yeah and like uh just a super smart kind of kind of dull smart guy yeah and uh like i was good mostly because i was gigantic but i hung out i was a defensive tackle yeah uh i hung i hung out with some of the football players and then with just kind of nerds but not really nerds the way that you know they weren't like programming computers or anything like that there's no good word for misfits misfits dudes who are just misfits that weren't fuck-ups exactly exactly yes yeah we need a word for that kind of

person maybe just humans uh yeah one of them was like into skateboarding the other one like like he would play his guitar you know and then a couple of my other friends were those kind of people also on the football team yeah because it was something to do uh fucked up my knee senior year of high school yeah uh and then like i could have played in college but i could have played at like a bad college you know um so i decided i just decided not to just not to just to not play. And then went off to college. I went to Southern Oregon University for one year, which is in Ashland, Oregon, which is a beautiful town, but it's a weird place to go when you're like 17, 18 years old. I feel like I've been there. They do a Shakespeare festival there.

Yeah. I don't know if you've ever seen that. It's gorgeous. But then I transferred like one year later and got to portland state university yeah i had no idea what i wanted to do real like i was going to become a lawyer but the closer i got to that becoming a reality the more i realized like oh this is fucked i don't want to do any of this and i my my dad sat me down one time and uh this was like first or second year in college and he told me he's like don't become a lawyer yeah like i'm like it makes me it makes

me very unhappy you know like in my in my personal life he sat you down said that to me he knew i wanted to become a lawyer and he said that to me before i even had any designs of becoming comedian he just told me like this is when he you know that when his illusions were shattered yeah and he was like well he's stuck doing it he'd much rather, I don't know, like the things you do when you're kind of frustrated with your career. Like I'd rather open a restaurant or become an author or any of that kind of stuff. So he did you that service? He did.

He sat me down and said, don't become a lawyer. Why were you thinking about becoming a lawyer? I think honestly, because it was an impressive answer that I gave when I was younger. Everybody else was like, I want to be a cop. I want to be a fireman. Yeah. You know, and then I was like, I'd like to be an attorney. Yeah.

And like all these guys were, oh, what a nine-year-old. And your dad was an attorney. And he was an attorney. Yeah. And you figured, why not? I did that. My dad was a doctor. Might as well be a doctor.

And you wanted to become a, yeah, right? Yeah, but then you're like, oh, what the fuck? I couldn't, could you imagine doing anything even remotely close to that? I wouldn't. I mean, I wish I had the fortitude to do it or the passion for it i mean you know it's sort of like uh you know i you know would i be happier you know saving lives uh than sitting in my garage i don't know i don't know you know but you know you live with these people that's the weird thing is like you know when you live with a doctor you're like well he's never home never and you know and he's distracted

and you know he's got his own issues and but yeah it's nice that your father actually looked it was it sort of like listen kid he we were at dinner yeah and it was kind of that like uh i think i was talking about class or something like that and he yeah just kind of a very real moment yeah like don't don't go into i know you're thinking about it don't and maybe that's one of those things where you're like like well if he really wants to do it he'll keep doing it anyway right uh but i mean it helped me realize that i didn't really want to do it and what year was that this was i think my second year of college right before right before i took that improv class yeah i think that was my third year of college yeah uh of five um but yeah

that made me realize like i was made me really think about it and then i was kind of lost for a while i didn't really know i mean i once i started getting into comedy that felt like after college or in this is in college when i started doing improv uh and making people laugh that scene i'd always liked comedy like i grew up listening to it uh you know i would like fall asleep to like george carlin yeah albums or uh chris rocker eddie izzard yeah uh i would you know put it on and like fall asleep to it i'd watch it whenever it was on tv but it never seemed like a realistic it just didn't seem like a thing that and that you could do yeah i didn't know how these people got into it but it just seemed fucking like absurd yeah that that was the thing you could do it didn't seem realistic not a not a good job choice not a good like yeah and i mean the funny thing is it turned out to be

smarter than being a lawyer but like uh yeah it just seemed unrealistic and then like when i started taking those comedy classes i was like oh you can i can make people laugh yeah you know and like it's instant approval and then like you start doing little shows and start i was still in my like mid early 20, so I started like, well, I'm going to pursue this and see how it goes. But how did you foray into it? I mean, you did the improv shows, and your uncle was supportive, but I mean, how do you make the leap?

I moved. I really liked improv, and I started working with groups, and then I got tired of being in Portland. And one day I just decided i was going to move to los angeles i lived here once before really yeah about five years ago five and a half years ago i think yeah i was like 25 so you hadn't done comedy yet i hadn't done stand-up right so you come down you're like i moved down i did take eight classes with the groundlings yeah i moved to south central los angeles yeah not even knowing uh that that's where like so you

had no friends here you didn't know anything i didn't i didn't know a single soul here you're just sort of like where does someone live here i threw all my shit in my car and drove down and i was staying in like i stayed in i had i cashed in my bar mitzvah money wow it was like which ended up being about like seven thousand dollars it seems so much more when you're younger it doesn't and then you get in there like seven grand. That's going to last me like, yeah, I better figure shit out in a couple months. Yeah. I threw all my stuff in my car. I drove down, stayed in hotels, you know, for the first four or five nights.

And I was on like a, there was a coffee, there was like an internet cafe on Melrose near the Groundlings because I just stayed near there because that was the only thing that I knew I had to be close to. And you got into the classes? got into the classes yeah uh and i was finding like on craigslist trying to find people to live with and eventually these people like they were like yeah uh you know we'd like we'd like to interview you and then my mom called them and talked them into taking me in uh and i and i moved in and i signed the lease and i was like this looks like kind of a rough neighborhood and then they told me like oh yeah yeah, you live in South Central.

And I knew about South, from all the rap songs that I'd listened to. Yeah. And I was like, holy fuck. And then it started, all these like things I'd seen started like, oh, those people with like blue bandanas, those weren't hipsters at all. Those were like crips. And it was like, it wasn't like terrible South Central, but it was right on like the edge of it. These people went to USC, but it was right on like the edge of it.

Yeah. These people went to USC. Yeah. The people I lived with. Yeah. But that was still like five, six miles away. Right. Well, that's right in South Central, right?

It's right there in South Central. And this was even South and Central-er than that. So that was, and then I stayed there a year. I took the two, I took level one and level two at the Groundlings. And then they were like, okay, it'll be like a year and a half until you can get into the writing lab which was the fourth part of it and while i was in la i tried stand up where uh at the comedy store yeah and like doing bringer shows but what happened how'd you hit the wall here what made you leave i i couldn't like i was working at a pf chang's in torrance california which is 10 miles south of like downtown la so it's even

farther and i was doing that and trying to do comedy and not and i couldn't do the groundlings for like another year and a half and i was just like out at sea i was completely adrift and like i didn't know it's a fucked up feeling where you're like yeah you have no way to how do you get in it was so what the fuck you do you're out like at what a strip mall working at a pf chang exactly in the in a fat in the fashion center is what they called it it was like shitty strip mall in torrance that was my and you had to work night shifts and like if you were an actor that's fine i guess you can go to auditions during the day i wanted to do comedy but every good comedy night i have to work you know to be able to afford to live here and yeah you do feel

completely lost you feel like you're on the outside of entertainment and there's no doors you're just staring up at this wall that goes up as high as you can and that's what it felt like like i i wrote sketches for like some website and uh was you know i i had a couple friends from the groundlings but we never you know even if you put a group together yeah what do you where are you going to go perform i didn't even know how to yeah where am I going to go, like find some bar? Can my three-person improv group perform here? It would shock me.

It's so lonely and weird when you've got no idea how to navigate this business. You know, when you're in L.A., the worst. It's, L.A., when you're doing well and when you're not doing well looks like two such different cities but you go to groundlings and you you must have been you know aware of the history of it i was complete i was obsessed with the history of it every like people would be like why is he moving to la and i'd be like well i'm going to the groundlings that's where will ferrell and like you know like you'd go down the list of people and then you get

there and you're like oh these are improv classes well just like any other place they're more expensive the more prestigious people have come through here but there's still improv class how do you make the cut you had no idea how you know you got into the stage you know you go you fly down to audition and like they pass I was so nervous about the audition and then it turns out they pass pretty much everyone who can speak English. Right. They just do the audition. So like sex offenders and like people with needles can't get in.

Yeah. And then you do the first level. There was a person in my first level who like barely spoke English. And that's when it really sunk in that I was like, I really blew this up in my head way too much. Yeah. And then in the second level, I mean, you make the cut after like, okay, good. You're good. But how do you get into the tour, into the actual stage company? There's four levels. You have to do the first two. and then in the second level uh i mean you make the cut after like okay good you're good but how

do you get into the tour into the the the actual stage company there's four levels you have to do the first two and then uh and then after the first two which are just improv there's usually a pretty long wait to get into the writing lab but isn't anyone fast-tracked no no i don't think so when did the heartbreak crash down on you i was you remember the day? I was starting to turn into summer in Los Angeles. I'd been there about a year. And I remembered how beautiful the summers in Portland were. And I remember I went out for this interview for this place that would clip commercials that mentioned that like mentioned a movie and then you would like compile them and send them to the studio some weird remora on the bottom of you know the

hollywood system but it paid it was just a it was a clipping service so studios knew that their commercials were being run something like that yeah i don't even know is that the weirdest thing is like you know you take these jobs like when i was out here the first time, you know, I had a friend who worked at Canon Films and they needed script readers where you just do synopsis of the scripts. And I did four of those and that was the end of that. Right. You're like, what was that? What was I doing?

Yeah. And then I did like some PA work at the, you know, music video shoots for children's videos. And I'm like, how the fuck did this happen? You have no idea. Because like when you're like we are. Yeah. And I think I feel the same thing. It's like no one prepared us to, you know, to, for life.

No, especially not this one. Right. But a career was not the option cause we didn't plan for it. No, no. Yeah. Keep things. Keep like, you just hear yes, just enough to keep moving forward. Right.

But it's not like, you know, like, okay, my agenda is to make money. You're like, no, I got this ridiculous dream. I i have no fucking clue i don't even know how to rent an apartment properly or or furnish it and and nothing i was sleep i slept on an egg crate mattress yeah like not even a real mat like an egg crate from ikea you just have this dream and then you go the growlings and it's sort of like holy fuck i just got taken for a ride yeah completely and they it's not like they lied to me, I just got taken for a ride. Yeah, completely. And it's not like they lied to me about it, but like I lied to myself. Right.

And so you take this job clipping commercial and what happened? I didn't take, I went for the interview and it was like, it was like 40 grand a year or something like that. And I was like, holy fuck. And it's during the day. It's a lot of money that I can go out at night and I can do, you know, I can, I can do more improv. I can see what the standup thing is all about.

And I didn't get it and i was like i'm working at pf chang's in torrance in torrance and like i should just go back and get my college degree i should finish up because i let i just dropped out of school and i after your second year yeah after my yeah second year just dropped out went to la to pursue the dream. The dream. And eventually figured out that the dream wasn't a real thing. And then I told my boss at the Torrance and P.F. Chang's, my grandfather was sick. I had to go back to Portland. Could I transfer to the one in Portland?

Yeah. And eventually I'll be back. I'll be back like in six months. Yeah. Because I love working here. I love it here. I want to come back to LA. Yeah. I love working at P. working at pf chang so i transferred to the one in portland they did it they did it for me oh lied right to their faces yeah and then i worked at that one in portland

and uh eventually got fired from it yeah so did you go back to school i did i went back to school and then finished school like after another like two two years two three years and you had this secret la thing and under your belt secret experience see i didn't know about that and i'm telling you to go and you never once told me like i had a i know it's like a bad bad story down it was a bad experience i mean i had i had fun in those classes but it was just a it made i i like not to not to be too faux poetic or whatever but like when you go to a part of LA where you can see a lot of the city, if you're up at the Griffith Park Observatory and you look out at all the people and the lights

and you're like, how many people are fucking failing right now? You look out and how many people are just struggling and diluting themselves and going to auditions after auditions because somebody told them that they were talented so they could have sex with them or whatever. A little or whatever taste yeah it was stringing you along yeah and like till you lose your way back no there's no fucking breadcrumbs there's no no cookie crumbs whatever

the fuck it is it can be depressing but then when you're doing well it looks like like oh look at all these people you know but you knew that but you the one thing you learned on that trip was like it's it's it's not that it's a lie. It's just that whatever the access code is, this isn't it. This isn't it. Yeah. Showing up here with no connections, with no real experience other than maybe a talent. Yeah. That's not enough.

That's not it. You need to go really prepare yourself. And when I got back to Portland, I i started writing a lot more i started doing uh more stand-up you know i tried to do improv and then i got so frustrated by the people who i was doing it with because they and not i mean they were being fair they didn't want to rehearse three four nights a week because they were people who were going to become a nurse or an accountant they wanted to go see a movie right yeah yeah and i was like what the fuck you do we're not we're never going to be famous and they're like know, we're not going to be famous.

I'm going to get married and I'm going to live in Beaverton. I'm just doing this for people skills. Right, yeah. This was a nice way to meet somebody and now we're dating and I'm kind of not interested in this anymore. And that's what kind of pushed me towards stand-up and I started getting more and more into stand-up and doing less improv.

What was the scene up there? Who were the guys? Like in Portland, Richard Bain, Ron F was the scene up there who were the guys they were uh like in portland uh richard bain ron funches was up there uh shane torres gabe dinger uh christine levine so you and funches and this crew yeah are out doing the open mics and it's slowly building the scene up and we're like uh you know harassing the local newspapers to cover us and then weren't you writing for a paper i wrote for the portland mercury yeah uh i wrote for the mercury my last like year in portland so like and that was great that was a great experience they gave me like first they let me do like a tour like a on the road diary doing stand-up and then i wrote an article about portland then it gave me like a

column so i could do 500 words about whatever i wanted every week and that was that was a lot of fun that helped me like really like hone my kind of like point of view as far as writing goes. Right. Right. And so you started doing the work and then when helium opened up, that's when things changed. Helium was huge.

Yeah. He, I got to, uh, open the second week at helium. It was when Natasha Leggero, I got to MC for her. Um,

I was working at Netflix in the call center at Netflix at the time, the most depressing job I've ever had. Really? It was the worst. Why? Just the people, like people have, I mean, because if you're just a voice on the end of a phone, they have no regard for you as a human. I know.

I'm guilty of that. I do it too. Yeah. But when I'm doing it, I try to remind myself, well, you would never help these people. But if they would be nice to you, I would give people a year free. Yeah. Because it was just a click of a button and no one would ever check but what was the call about was it like complaining about a my disc showed up broken yeah i can't get this tv show to play this anime has subtitles i want it to be dubbed shit like that people like telling you to turn

their internet on people who had no idea what netflix was uh and it was just that for 12 hours a day three days a week yeah when helium opened i got to i got to go work uh over there and then you slowly figure out like oh i can request comedians that like i'm that i like you know yeah and that's like as a local opener as a local opener i'm like hey do you have an mc for marin yeah yeah and then they're like oh yeah go ahead and like and like you and i opened for Canaan. Yeah. And that was huge. And, and then you just pretty much just YouTube because Bronger wouldn't play it. So as far as like influences, but like you get to open for these like really cool people. Yeah.

And then, and I'm not gonna blow smoke up your ass. I'm sure you've like, you get to see a different kind of comedic aesthetic, almost more honest than, than maybe the stuff you even saw on tv yeah coming up in the 90s and you oh these people are being very funny yeah but they're talking about the stuff they want to talk about and and they're not doing it in like it's not like a setup punch setup punch you can be funny a lot of different ways right and that is so important i think to see and to be around yeah when you're when you're coming up as a comedian and what helium did and also the bridgetown comedy festival both of those things brought those kind of comedians

and we you know me and funches and bane and uh and you know gay like all that those and shane those people in portland uh got to see those people be successful and we're like oh fuck we can do that too and then i think we took that and then started like building a comedy scene there in portland so helium did like helium at bridgetown changed everything by giving us access to those comedians and also access to the kind of people who want to buy a ticket to come see you right also they get to see that i'm here yeah now maybe they see i'm on a show at some bar they're gonna come out to that yeah like and it started really like churning up a like a kind of a creative comedy scene there in Portland. Yeah.

And it eventually got to the point I was, I didn't need a day job anymore. I got fired from Netflix and I could make my money doing comedy in Portland, writing for the newspaper and then doing stuff. I was on like the post game show for our basketball team. You were, it was a local gig.

Yeah. I'm like the local cable channel oh yeah which was also eventually why i left because i was like i could just keep doing this forever right and you were a local celebrity yeah yeah exactly people you know i'd be walking across the street you know shitty basketball shorts be like yeah and i'm like hello don't look i'm sorry yeah that's me yeah i mean you get a kick out of it but but it's also, I became so aware of the- The charm of the prison you might remain in. Perfect.

Perfect. Right? Exactly. We got a nice poster up here. That guy just waved at me. I'm getting a free sandwich. Exactly. I would get free sandwiches all the time.

All the time free. I got sandwiches named after me. For a couple years it's the happiest you could be you know you have your own sandwich you have your own sandwich you i get to go to basketball games for free it was fucking beautiful and then you're like oh potential eventually rots yeah you know and then you have to move that you get who wants to be a local celebrity yeah and you don't do it to be a celebrity i could have kept exploring you know uh the things i wanted to talk about on stage and having it be a purely artistic or self-satisfaction-based pursuit.

But there was always something very depressing to me about the people who stayed and who never went out and tried to do it. And you had that in you because you did it once before with no fucking wisdom at all. With none. it once before with no fucking wisdom at all none and then when i knew like when i knew i could come down here and there would be like people who would like get me on shows and i had you know i got like uh new faces at just for laughs this last summer and i knew like okay now is definitely the right time now you have the tools you need to come down here and and be able to work hard yeah you know and and when you came down what happened i got uh? I got a panel appearance on Chelsea Lately booked from Just for Last in Montreal. Okay. And then about four days after I got here, that's when that was.

So I went on and did it, and it went well. And they had me in for a meeting the next day or two days later. Yeah. And I didn't even know what the meeting was about. My manager was like, I think they need a new writer, but I don't know. They won't really say what the meeting was about my manager was like i think they need a new writer but i don't know they won't really say what the meeting's about who's your manager uh cara baker okay at avalon yeah yeah yeah same company she's wonderful uh she came and got she was signed me when i was still in portland yeah so i'll be with her until forever

but uh she she uh i went in for the meeting and like I got in there and it was Chelsea. Chelsea Handler was sitting there. And then the show's executive producers and the head writer, they were all sitting in there. And I wore cargo shorts. I had no idea. I wore pretty much the same outfit I'm wearing now. And I was like, so what's this about? And they were like, well, we just want to get to know you better.

You were on the panel. So then I got a little less excited. I was like, well, you know, we're, you know, we just want to get to know you better. You were on the panel. So then like, I got a little less excited. I was like, well, maybe they do this with all the new comedians who come in. And we had a meeting. It was like,

they were very inappropriate during the whole thing. I think at some point they brought up raping my mother and I rolled with, you know, I was able to like roll with it and like laugh about it. And, uh, and then, uh,

they were trying to push your buttons. They were trying to push my buttons to see if i could fit in i think with the tenor of the writers room and then uh on that monday they called me and offered me a writing job there and i took i took it like immediately i had been auditioning for this like for some tv show that's going to be on fxx i know that was going well but then this like sure thing came up and i was like, yes, I'll take yeah Yeah, I'll do it. It sounds like you're on your way. Yeah, I think so. I think I'm having fun, you know And so I gotta be honest with you. Yeah You know what? I did that when we were when I was over at Conan with with my niece. Yes

Yeah, you were there when I got that when I and that was your first cone. That was my first anyway Yeah, and it was like this weird moment cuz yeah, like you know i i i'm not a cynical person but yeah i don't you know i i don't wish anybody ill will but yeah my reaction you know when i saw you do it you're like i'm doing my first one i was like i was like proud of you i was like yeah i was like oh god that's great and i think i tried to make you feel better you did make me feel good you told you what you had very night you you said it's just like doing a set you're gonna do great yeah you're gonna go out there it's just like doing stand-up anyway right yeah don't think about you know that whatever the thing is you were thinking about i can't remember what i said but you were nervous about something yeah i mean the whole

thing i'd only known for like two days that i was gonna be doing it they told me on friday it went great monday it went great it went pretty good yeah well congrats buddy i'm glad everything worked out for you or it's working out now. Hopefully it continues. Either way, I can always go back to Portland and be that sad local celebrity. What about P.F. Chang's? Yeah, they're always hiring. Yeah.

They got a great business model there, Mike. Thanks, buddy. Thank you. Great guy. Ian Carmel's a great guy and it worked out for him he stood he stuck with it and he he didn't he didn't buckle had a little bit of a of a detour but but uh you know but he went and licked his wounds up in portland came back and and now we got him down here and now he's doing well for himself so funches what can you say about funches what can you say about ron funches he's a he's almost like a mythological creature you know he's a sweet guy i mean like yeah i'm a i'm a little cranky and i remember one time funches i don't know i

think we were on twitter he asked me he said you want to go get some ice cream who was involved with that emily cumel's wife and i think shelby farrow for some reason we were just dicking around on twitter and it's like you want to get ice cream yeah yeah i want to get ice cream let's go down to scoops down the street and sure enough we all went that ice cream and i'll tell you having ice cream with ron funches was a it's definitely a highlight it was a highlight he's just he's a sweetheart and he's got his own groove and his own pace and his own way of doing comedy it's rare that you see somebody with a unique delivery and a unique sort of presence up there. But Ron's got it.

And I got him here now. So this is my conversation with Ron Funches. Portland Day continues. It's winter and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those.

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Calgary's on the right path forward. Take a closer look how at calgaryeconomicdevelopment.com. Cheers. Ron Funches. Hi, Mark. Why is it that whenever I come in touch with you, when I come in contact with you, I get edgy?

I can't handle the pleasantness of the Ron Funches I thought you enjoyed it no I do enjoy it but there's part of me that's sort of like what's going on with that guy what's he hiding

how is he why is he so pleasant there's got to be some problem there he can't be this nice all the time oh it's not all the time I have my own battles

you do really yeah do you yell yeah of course really yeah all right well I don't know He can't be this nice all the time. Oh, it's not all the time. I have my own battles. You do? Really? Yeah. Do you yell? Yeah, of course. Really? Yeah.

All right. Well, I don't know this about you. Every time I've seen you, we've eaten ice cream. Yeah. We've done some stand-up. It's usually stand-up and ice cream. That's our relationship as I'm aware of it. As it stands now. And me trying to get you to be nasty.

So, you don't live down the street anymore? No, no. I used to live in a room in Highland Park, and now I live in a house in Glendale with Ian Carmel. You and Ian live together? Mm-hmm. Oh, that's a powerhouse of Portland comedy. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a classic setup. The large black man, the large Jew. Yeah. Yeah. Classic Def Jam. We're making our own record company. The large black man, the large Jew. Yeah, yeah, classic Def Jam. We're making our own record company. Third base, man. Wasn't that the name of the Jewish guy?

Yeah. The one Jewish rapper? MC Search. Yeah. Yeah. How's that guy doing? I think he was hosting a show for VH1 a couple years ago. That's not a good sign, necessarily.

That doesn't mean positive things. How did you end up in Portland? I ended up in Portland. I was actually born here in California, in Gardena. Really? Mm-hmm. And you moved up there when you were a kid? No, I moved to Chicago first when I was a kid.

My mom and dad got divorced. How old were you when that happened? Four. Reallyhmm how was that for you I mean I don't know before I don't really remember so you who'd you end up with your mom yeah and so your dad just was where he stay in California yeah and you went to Chicago mm-hmm with you and your mom what she have work up there I know she had family there hmm so we live with my aunt and her daughter. For how long? For a few years, for several years.

So you were in Chicago till when? Until I was 13. So you remember it? Mm-hmm. Did you, like, how many brothers and sisters do you have? I have one full sister. I have some half sisters and brothers that I don't really count. Yeah, oh, really?

I have one full sister. Brothers that you don't count? Yeah. Whose kids are they? count. Yeah. Oh, really? I have one full sister. Brothers that you don't count? Yeah. Whose kids are they? My dad's. Oh, really? Yeah. You guys, you're just half brothers?

I mean, I just didn't have them around me. Are they Funches? Yeah. Y'all kept the name. Yeah. Do you know the other Funches? I know a few of them, yeah. How many are there?

I think my dad has five kids. Really? Yeah. Do you know your dad? Yeah. You get along with him? No. Not at all?

That was condescending of me to say, do you know your dad? Was it slightly, was it racial? Well, you know. I just thought it was generational. You know, having lots of kids and, you kids and taking off, that kind of thing. You know how that goes. That's what I did. We get to that.

So you're in Chicago until you're 13, and then your mom goes to Portland. Why? Was there a quota? One in, one out. No. Well, my dad got back in touch. My dad had a drug problem for a while. Which drug? I'm assuming a few, but mostly cocaine.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, so that's why your parents split up, because of the drugs? So your mom was like, fuck this, I'm going to Chicago with the kids. When you get your shit together, give me a call. Yeah. Okay. And so he didn't call for several years yeah he wanted to really finish up whatever he was working on it's a

business too yeah yeah but he started getting in touch a little bit later and he was going to portland to work in construction and chicago wasn't working out too well for me. My mom had like a boyfriend who was kind of abusive. Really? Yeah. Like what? I mean, general abuse. Beating the shit out of you?

Yeah. I mean, a lot of different things. She sent you off to live with your dad? Yeah. Yeah. Is she still with that dude? No. They didn't get married?

No. Luckily, they didn't get married. Now, is your mom still around? Yeah. Yeah. Is she still with that dude? No. How long? They didn't get married? No. Luckily, they didn't get married. Now, is your mom still around? Yeah. My mom and my sister live together in North Carolina. My sister's an OBGYN, and my mom is a registered nurse, and they hang out like some type of sitcom. So she's a doctor?

She's a doctor. And your mom's a nurse? My mom's a nurse. That's a good story. So you just ended up in Portland with your pops? Yeah, with my dad. At 14? At 13.

Yeah. And this place is actually called Salem, Oregon, which is the capital of Oregon. So it's like an hour away. There's not many black people in Oregon. Nope. Why is that? Well... Would you speak for the entire black community?

I think I can. Address Portland, please. I will. Well, I mean, it's a segregated city. There's a lot of black people in North Portland. There are? Yeah, there's a lot of, there was a movement of people, like people who would be in gangs here in Los Angeles or Oakland and stuff. If they got in trouble, they would send them to Portland.

No jail, Portland. Yeah, well, I mean, they're trying to avoid jail by going to Portland. Really? Yeah. That's a real thing? Mm-hmm. So people who fucked up here, they go hide in Portland. Yeah.

I mean, that's just Portland in a nutshell, right? That's for everybody. Yeah. When everything else is, when there's nowhere else to go. Go to Portland. Go to Portland. Yeah. If things get too weird, go to Portland. It'll be okay. If you're too fucking weird nowhere else to go. Go to Portland. Go to Portland. If things get too weird, go to Portland.

It'll be okay. If you're too fucking weird, go to Portland. I always felt weird up there, though. I think there's a weird energy to it. Yeah, I think because you have an aggressiveness to you that you want to get things done. And it is more of a relaxed whatever vibe to Portland. Yeah, but I think there's a creepy white vibe to Portland. Is that possible?

I mean, I'm not speaking as a black man. a it's as far as it's full of white people yeah it's definitely full of white people and improv those are two white things it's definitely a place full of white people but i love it it was a it's a great place and good place for me to start comedy and be my weird self yeah what did your dad end up doing just construction yeah works pipe fitting um he has more kids he's got his own things going on we don't really talk that much you don't no why um it just was never a positive influence for me like anything that i wanted to do like he wasn't there to parent me but he still wants to you know then offer advice i'm like you don't he was like wants me to be a super christian like he wants me you know oh really

he's one of them he's one of those when did that come around after the drugs left yeah of course you gotta always replace one thing with another replace coke with jesus i think that's a slogan that should be a bumper sticker. No coke Jesus. Yeah, for either. If you want to get off soda or get off drugs, either way. Fill that hole with Jesus. Exactly.

So he's Jesus-y. He's Jesus-y. You know, he still makes his own mistakes with ladies. He just hangs out with, like my mom's side, like there's always two halves. Like my mom's side of the family has a lot of doctors lawyers things of that nature my dad's side of the family has a lot of people who say they're rappers but are really gang members so it was just became a thing where it's like oh if for me to especially if i'm going to live here in california i was like i don't really want to have contact with that side of my family oh really they're that connected i mean they're not that connected but there's nothing positive that's going to come from hanging out with right there's nothing positive from your

dad going why don't you call your cousin yeah yeah go hanging out with them and then hang out there and then i go see them and they're like i got a new album coming out and i'm like oh let me hear it and they're like oh we don't have any copies is there a place on the internet i can go listen to your music no i don't really but you know i got all this money and i say i'm a rapper so so you want a job yeah can you go drop this off at this place yeah exactly yeah so had you come down here before this last time uh yeah what do you mean i mean like because i talked to you know ian and i didn't realize he had this secret uh when he lives and worked at chinese food restaurant the secret attempted show business yeah back in the day yeah did you do that no no i always wanted to but i just i mean i was super broke so i just never could i think luckily me being very poor uh kept me in place

and focused and let me work on my well when did you start doing that, this stand-up? I started when I was 23, so... So you get up to Portland when you're like 14, and that's like nine years before you start doing stand-up. What the fuck were you up to? Just high school, regular shit? Just high school, and then out of the high school, just hanging out in dirty mattresses, taking gravity bong hits all day.

Gravity bong hits. Is that what those are, the tall ones? Mm-hmm. You know, like the two liters, three liters. We would take these Gatorade bottles that are like 3.75 liters. Yeah. Just take two of those in a day and then take a nap and then wake up and do it again. It's just not a fun way to

live no so you did that from 14 to 23 for the most part working at canneries or uh uh chuckie cheese canneries what's canneries uh you know we can groceries or can beans and broccoli and stuff at a factory you put it in cans? Mm-hmm. They have those in Portland? Yeah. Well, they had them in Oregon, yeah, in Salem. I didn't know it was known for that.

They're known for being cannery places? Yeah, they have like a flavor right, you know, any type of frozen peas place. Oh, yeah? Yeah. That's where they come from? Mm-hmm. And did you, would you operate machinery? No, never.

I would just have to pick out stalks of broccoli and put them in a chute and avoid putting my fingers close to blades. And then one day my job was to pick out rats and snakes out of the stuff. And yeah, that was the last day I went. Come on, man. Out of the vegetables? Really? Yeah. Dead ones? Yeah.

Well, because they'd steam them? Because they just kind of get rooted up. They're not like plucked out by individual farmers, you know? They're just put all together, and so when you, when they're originally dumped, they're just dirt and rocks and vegetables and dead rodents. Really? I let a lot of rats go through.

You did not. Oh, yeah. No, I'm not. You think, do I look like a person that touched a lot of rats? No. did not oh yeah i know i'm not you just think do you look like a person that touched a lot of rats no no no so you just go like oh there's one and that was and that's what you'd report back yeah i saw a few i'm not sure what you want me to do about it, but it's definitely going on. Snakes, too? Yeah, rats, snakes. How long did you stay at that job, man?

Not that long. It took for a few months, and then one day there was a particularly good episode of wrestling on. And I was working there with my friend, and I was just like, do you just want to quit? Like, let's just not go. I don't want to go pick out rats. And that was that? That was it. And you watched the wrestling?

Mm-hmm. You're a wrestling fan? Mm- wrestling fan from when you were a little kid yeah would go with my uncle um i think yeah because he was like my father figure so it was your mother's brother yep you'd go in chicago who'd you see we'd go see hulk hogan versus earthquake we'd go see like the road warriors we just go to different house events. Do you still watch wrestling? Mm-hmm. Why? Because I like it. Because it's fun.

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's a spectacle. I go to this wrestling in Reseda called Pro Wrestling Gorilla. It's like fun. It's like the Meltdown. You know, like Meltdown, the show. Yeah.

It's like that for wrestling. It's like alt wrestling like colt cabana yeah yeah well you know colt yeah i'm not colt yeah that that what that circuit yeah the the sort of like uh purists yeah the purist uh just i mean i just feel like you know as a comedian there's nothing i understand more than somebody throwing themselves through a table for like 25 bucks like you know i know that feeling so like i dig it a hundred and knowing that it's completely planned yeah yeah i'm going to throw myself through that table now yeah i mean that seems better than me what's like what type of psychopath wants that to be real right like you're a weirdo you're the type of people that wants to

watch a gladiator getting eaten by a lion you know yeah it's better if it's a controlled environment yeah yeah there's a gladiator in the lion they're willing Yeah, it's better if it's a controlled environment. Yeah, if it's a gladiator, the lion. They're willing to be hurt as much as they are being hurt. Yeah. Was there ever a point where you wanted to wrestle? Yeah, for sure. Why don't you? That's never too late to do that.

I've never been athletic in my life, so there's no way that's going to happen. But I've seen some wrestlers. They're not necessarily athletic. Yeah, I mean, if I was born in a different era i could be a talker i could be a good manager yeah is that part of the wrestling thing the manager the manager was it's not much anymore what did they used to do well they used to do they used to just come in and they would talk for the people who couldn't talk and they would get people to hate them and then like the whole thing would be like you want this guy to get hit so bad that you'd go buy

tickets to go see that was part of see. That was part of the theater. The manager guy. Yeah. Oh, man. You would have been a good manager. I see it in your face. Yeah, man. I'm ready to go.

I could be your manager. Yes, do it. But then now I got to wrestle? No, but the angle would be like, this guy's out of shape. And he's real nice. Who doesn't want to see his ass get kicked? I'm tired of it. Just for being out of shape and nice.

This guy's going down. He can't wrestle. All he can do is just stand up. He's really good at holding his ground. That's true. Come on, who wants to kick his ass lying around the corner oh did you ever get your ass kicked uh yeah sure uh for i mean for being me for for the same reasons why you kind of want to kick my ass a little bit really is that i'm always been this like why are you so happy why are you yeah don't you know the world's shitty yeah let's rain on

that guy's parade yeah yeah yeah are you happy or are you just high i'm happy i'm both but for the most part i'm happy because like why why wouldn't i be happy like my life's pretty awesome i do fun things yeah i know what i want to Like, my life's pretty awesome. I do fun things. Yeah. I know what I want to do for my life. I feel like that in itself is the ultimate blessing. I know so many people who, I mean, I talked to my aunt one day, and she was talking about shooting a show. And she was like, you like your job? And I was like, I love it.

She's like, you probably go to work early. And I was like, yeah, I go to work early every day. And then she's like, so you just, like, love it. You know, you feel like you don't work. And I was like, yeah go to work early every day and then she's like so you just like love it you know you feel like you don't work and i was like yeah and she's like i've never felt like that ever and i was like and she's like 60 something years old that's heartbreaking yeah yeah so all right so you all right so you kind of smoke your way through high school did you finish yeah yeah but you don't remember much i remember it i was there it was mostly me just sitting in front of lockers reading salinger or moliere and not getting dates and then being like if i'm not gonna get dates or go hang out with people i might as well smoke pot with my

my friends no dates no sad life a little bit sad uh i mean just just yeah i guess that's sounder and moliere those were the two things that you remember from high school i remember sounder i remember moliere i remember reading uh all quiet on the western front yeah those are things that impacted me really yeah how did um all quiet on the western front impact you? It just really shaped my views on war and just treating people as individuals and remembering that they have the same desires and wants and fears that you do. And Moyere? Moyere was more about being truthful and the difference between being an asshole and being truthful and knowing when to, you know smooth the situation and when when when to die

on the sword of honesty huh and salinger salinger was just like like everybody's fucked up and that's your trinity yeah that was the that was the blueprint yeah we're all fucked up treat everybody cool and everybody is afraid of dying just like you are. Nice. Just three books. There they are. That's all I ever read. So you didn't go to college?

No, I went to community college for a couple weeks. And then I hated it. And so I just dropped out of that. What was your plan there? I never had a plan. I always kind of just loved comedy and knew i wanted i like i knew i wanted to be a stand-up i knew i wanted to be a stand-up since i was like six years old what what moment who was it um i mean for just two like there's a few different moments

but as far as like comedy in general it was like you know like i grew up in a house that was kind of violent or weird or loud and I would just watch a lot of after cartoons I'd watch a lot of Benny Hill and then I love Lucy Wow and so surprising that you're not you know running around quickly or making pies I can do a little of both a very short amount of those are two sort of very slapsticky points of reference. Yeah, yeah. I mean, but just fun. They were fun. Yeah.

And so I kind of fell in love with that, particularly like Lucy. Like I've always been a big fan of her. Because it's relief from the anger in the house. Yeah, and just calm and fun and and just uh um just nice it's just a good funny show that took me away from what was going on there did you like have guys that you really liked oh yeah my course I was first started like I was really into like my mom would just watch comic view yeah so I'd watch like an earthquake yeah like earthquake yeah honest John

yeah Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce yeah talent yeah and so that was my initial like oh people are funny but then as I started getting the comedy it was really Dave Chappelle and Mitch Hedberg for me oh yeah, yeah? Yeah. Do you see Hedberg? No, I never got to see him live. I've talked to a lot of people who worked with him and talk about him. I was just a big fan of his work. And Chappelle, did you ever see him? Yeah, I got to do a show with him in Montreal last year,

and so that was a big deal for me. Yeah? How was he? He was good. He was good. I really like this place where where he's like i have a lot of talent i have a lot of experience and i do not have the desire to prove anything to you and i definitely still when i go out and do shows i'm like proving that i'm funny and so i'm like i was like really interested in the seeing that but you're pretty laid back yeah yeah i mean yeah

it doesn't feel like you're you're fighting for it no no mostly i'm just kind of like come on come visit what i'm about and if you're not into it then i'm kind of like fuck you i'll prove to you that i'm dope even if you think i'm a weirdo oh really did you have that early on or did that come from getting hurt of course mark i mean i mean it's not it's not hard to find traumas with me i will openly share them with you but i mean like the the idea like because i i know people that i'm always envious of people that have a um a kind of laid back groove because i i usually it's either two things either it's hard earned or they just don't have another speed you know what i mean but you you're conscious like at what point did you decide because i i still it took me years to to be able to say like well if i'm not your cup of tea so be it you did your mistake you can leave if you want to or or try to get them but i mean it took years for

me to be comfortable with that like it was years of like you know fuck you for not liking me you didn't have that no i think i mean that was probably instilled in me at a young age like i remember my first day of school my mom was just being like hey like some kids are gonna like you some kids are not gonna like you for who you are don't ever change who you are for them just like if kids like you cool if they don't fuck them that she said that god damn i wish i had your mom she made her own mistakes but she's pretty awesome i can't remember any good advice i got like that i know like i literally had to learn all that i'm not even sure my parents uh spoke in that manner i think my parents are more like we don't know what to do really you know good luck with everything if you're if somebody hurts you you can come home

and we'll all feel bad together yeah we'll just i got no real advice for you I'm not sure how it all happened with us damn good advice yeah I felt like

it was solid so I mean I carry that with me like I know I just never gonna change who I am for someone else yeah

so god that's that's good man good for you I don't have that I've tried to well I try to accommodate people

yeah I mean you know like I mean I know I don't have that. Why not? Well, I try to accommodate people. I mean, I know I don't seem like that, but in relationships and stuff? Well, I can be like that, too. For sure. But then you just build anger up. Yeah. Because eventually you're like, I can't change that person. Well, no, you can never change a person. You can never.

Whoever they introduce themselves as is who they're going to be. But don't you think people can change? People can evolve. Evolve. But people never change. Evolve. What's the difference? Well, evolving means that they still have their standard base.

You know where you're going to. You can see where they're coming from. You're not going to change a 180. The wiring, right. Who they are is who they are. But they might be able to make different decisions for themselves, and that would make your life easier. Look, I know you are who you are, but if you could not do that, that would be helpful. It would be helpful.

That's evolving. I want you to evolve into not doing that. I want to change you. You're perfect the way you are, but that choice you're making over and over again hurts me. Yeah. Well, no, I mean, that's a lesson I learned from my mom the hard way with the guy she was dating.

That's what she was hoping, is that she could change him. Yeah. How long were they together? I don't know, like eight years? So it was fucked up. Yeah. Oh, man. She seems like she did all right.

Your sister did all right. The guy must have, he didn't make a complete mess out of it. No. I mean. Maybe just you. You were the man. Just a mess out of me. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, there was no, you don't have a brother, right? No. It was you and how many sisters? One, two. One sister, one girl cousin have a brother, right? No. It was you and how many sisters? One, two? One sister, one girl cousin. Right. Just all girls, though.

Right. So you were the one that he had, you know. We had battles. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck, man. I can't imagine you in battle. Was there a time where you just, you had an edge?

Yeah, certainly. Certainly. Were you just fucking raging out at the world yeah and that went away yeah i mean yeah it's probably you know early 20s mid-20s just listening to a lot of dead prez in the coup and just wanting to destroy the government and uh just i mean yeah i mean i think that's what me and my ex bonded over was our hatred of everything else around us. So when you guys met, it was a lot of anger. Mm-hmm.

Wow. And you just sit there and just talk shit about the world? Pretty much. And then just, you know, just focus that on everybody else and then eventually on each other. And then you had a baby. Mm-hmm. In the middle of all that rage, you had a baby in the middle of all that rage you had a baby was that intentional no of course not and she wanted to have it yeah we had you know were you married when you

no no but we've been together for a long enough that we were like oh you know we can we can have this baby and He's the best He's been the best thing in my life for sure. What's his name Malcolm Malcolm? Mm-hmm and how old is he now? He's a he is 11 years old Wow. I know and When did you and her separate we separated? Two years ago about yeah when you left a little bit before I left i left yeah so what now i know the baby's uh difficult right what do you mean by that mark well i talked to you uh before i've heard you mention the baby we talked about it on the live podcast yeah yeah yeah well he's a kid now he's

no baby uh he's almost a man. Yeah, but he has autism. I'm assuming that's what you mean by that. And how does that manifest itself? How did you know that? Originally, we thought he was deaf. We thought because he just wouldn't respond to things when you called him or when you made noises. Well, that must be horrible because how old are you? 20 when you have the kid? 20.

20, and you don't have a lot of money of money nope you make a decision to have this kid was that a hard decision to make or was that just a no-brainer no it was pretty difficult decision to make um but it was also like i mean we've been together for a while um at the time we loved each other very much and so i was like let's have this kid we're not I'll go get a better job. I'll go do whatever it takes. Is that what you were thinking? Yeah. That's what I did.

What did you do when you had the kid? Where'd you work? I worked at a bank call center for Wachovia Bank, which is now Wells Fargo. They're not the same since they changed. No, they really changed. So you're going to work every day and you're not doing comedy yet? No. You're just going to work, hating your life.

Yep. But you got a baby. Buying a lot of stuff that I don't need. Yeah. Trying, wondering why I'm not happy. Yeah. But, yeah, so, okay, so the kid, you think he can't hear and you bring him to the doctor. Mm-hmm.

So we bring him to the doctor and we get a lot that he can hear yeah and so they really well we need to do some more tests on them they do some tests on them when he's about two years old and they were like yeah he is a classic autism what is that what does that mean so basically for him and for I mean for a lot, it means like nonverbal, a diversion to text, certain textures and noises and lights and, you know, just developmental delays and things of that nature. So now you got a job you don't like and you got a kid that's got some problems. Life is hard. Yeah.

And what do you do with a kid that has that? How did you learn how to deal with it? Well, we got, I mean, the best, I mean, once we knew, it became a lot easier. Yeah. The hardest part was just being like, what's wrong? Right, right. What's going on? He won't sleep.

Uh-huh. You know, he would sleep from like 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. like seven days a week, and that was it. And then he'd be up. Up. Doing what?m. to 5 a.m. like seven days a week and that was it. And then he'd be up. Up. Doing what? Singing. Oh, really? Singing the Jungle Book.

Oh, that's pleasant. It's pleasant for a few hours. So he was on repeat on the Jungle Book? Mm-hmm. That's what they do, that stim behavior, right? Yep.

Stim behavior is that they repeat, they find things that they can repeat and comfort them. Yeah. And he would repeat several, he watched a Jungle Book on VCR and just repeat scenes over and over and over. Okay. Is there a way to sort of move new things into the STEM rotation? Yeah.

I mean, you introduce things and you add things, but it's also very, you know, rigid. You don't want him to freak out oh really so it becomes a battle of uh what what what you're willing to deal with and and over time does this how's it uh has he has he i don't know if the word has gotten better or how does that work yeah he's definitely i mean it'll always be a thing but like he's definitely, I mean, it'll always be a thing, but like he's very independent. He's, you know, he's not nonverbal, but he's not completely verbal. He does a lot of mimicking. He's very good at typing, though.

Like he's just, he's always been like on the internet and typing things out on computers since he was like two. Really? So they have a profound focus in intelligence for some things. Yeah, you get it i kind of there's certain things where they're really awesome at there's certain things that he's normal at and there's certain things that he has trouble with uh-huh and and all those things have remained the same throughout pretty much he'll always you know he loves cars racing computers doesn't care

for baths or what was the hardest thing sort of in terms of dealing with it other people judging yeah other people judging oh like why are you so tired all the time why is your house a mess why uh why do you always give it give in to everything he wants because like you know he'll if he wants something he like he wants it like he needs it and he will attack you or throw fits until he gets it and so you learn to pick your battles and so that I mean there are several times where people like thought we were kidnapping him because he would just wig out because we couldn't afford to buy him something oh really yeah that's sad yeah so that but that's what people assume like whose child is that yeah whose kid is that going off

uh-huh yeah did you ever have to get in any fights or anything about that shit um with him or with people with people no not with people we had the cops called you know a few times that's but that's what's the because he's making noise yeah god that's hard man yeah i mean even now like you know if i go um visit him or we go somewhere together in a hotel i'm always i have to you know let them know ahead of time just be like don't put us near somebody else you have a bungalow situation is there a cottage when you come up to tell us about a noise complaint i'm not gonna be nice to you that's all that's a hell of a hell of a burden to to have but i imagine that the the relationship you start to understand each other huh yeah yeah that's been i mean that's the coolest part of it was like learning like, oh, I don't have to talk. Like talking's overrated.

I can hang out with you all day and not talk and we can get things done. And I know what you want for dinner. And I know what you're asking me off of like glances or different things. And again, like he was the one where like I always knew I wanted to be a comedian. I always knew what I wanted and I was afraid and I didn't think that it was normal or possible. And what having him was like for two reasons. I was like, hey, he's not going to be a typical normal kid and I have to defend that. So I should be able to defend what I'm about.

And then also it was like, I'm going to need to make money and I don't want to put him in a home. And I don't I know i'm not gonna be alive forever and he may need care forever and so it was like i have to do something so i either have to go back to college and figure out something that i like or i need to really do this thing that i feel that i have a calling for which even looking back now knowing that it's kind of working out still sounds stupid but it's a hell of a decision to make yeah and your wife was okay with it or yeah well she just knew that it was what i wanted to do and that that it was the i mean that's what we did was just watch comedy and talk about stand-up? No. No, she just is a regular lady.

She writes some funny things. She's a funny person, but she's a civilian. God, that's a hell of a choice, man. So you already had the kid when he started comedy. Mm-hmm. And what was your first night on stage like? I mean, where was that at? I was at Harvey's in Portland.

Yeah. And it was like, I mean, at? It was at Harvey's in Portland. Yeah. And it was like, I mean, I think I just did five minutes talking about man boobs and stuff of that nature. It was just a horrible comedy. Yeah. But the buzz was a high. You got it. You're like, oh, this was right. Yeah.

Yeah. And that was always a fear of like, what is this thing that I think is my calling? Oh, what if I'm wrong? And then I don't know what I want to do at all. And so that kept me frozen for a while. But and then that night and just being like, no, this this is it might take me a long time. I might take I might never get what I want, but this is it. This is what I'm supposed to do.

Holy shit. And then you just started making the rounds in Portland. Mm hmm. And you guys, who are you guys hanging out with? Was Ian? Ian didn't come for a couple of years later. This is probably when he was here slinging Panda Express and whatnot. But it was me, Augie Smith, my friend Richard Bain, and just Dax Jordan, just a lot of Portland-y. Dwight Slade. I don't know if you know him. Sure. But yeah, those are like the people who I looked up to. I really, podcasts was my thing when that's how I would, because I was like, oh, this

is what I want to be. I'm not really competing with some of these people in Portland who kind of are just doing it for attention or for a hobby. What, comedy? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I'm like, like the people that i like was always like like i was always into like hannibal or pete holmes yeah or things like that you knew those guys

already i mean i was aware of them for sure milaney yeah yeah what how'd you know them i just was a fan of comedy wow all right so but they had already but they're like they're your generation aren't they yeah yeah but i didn't you know i've only met a lot of them a couple you know a few years ago where'd you first see those guys i think the first time i saw hannibal and pete was uh at bumbershoot the first year i did bumbershoot okay and so i was doing like the local stages there and doing some of the after party shows and um i got to i think i got to like close out the set there so it's like pete hann, Hari, Kanabolu, and then me. And nobody knew who I was.

And so I had a good set. I think I was there that year. I think you were too. Yeah. So that was the first time you're like, oh, this is my peer group. They come from Chicago, New York. I'm Portland. Because you're about the same age, aren't you?

Yeah. How old are you now? 31. Oh, they might be a little older now. Mm-hmm. A few years older. So that must have been, so that was the big sort of like, that was the moment where you realized I could fit into this world.

Yeah. Is yeah, I go to Bumper Shoe. Yeah. They found me. So when you started hammering around Portland, I mean, when did you finally, you know, start making money? Six months ago. This year. finally you know start making money uh six months ago uh this year i just went around portland doing open mics and then i started like i needed to make some amount

of money so i would just take any type of road gig the tacoma or milton or any you know place up and down the coastline featuring yep for who where'd you where was some nights where you like you went out as a young comic and you're like holy fuck that guy can fucking do it well there was mostly a lot of like oh holy fuck is this what people want i'm in trouble yeah i'm in trouble if this is what I have to do to survive. There was a lot of that, mostly with the headliners I was working with. But then it was people like Dwight Slade taking me out first when I was like, oh, this guy is funny and he knows how to be a nice person while he's on the road. And he's just teaching me how to be a good person when I'm on the road. And then it was like Moshe Kasher took me out and Nick Thune.

And I think that was the first time I was like really working with people that I also enjoyed their comedy. Right. Two people doing their own thing. Yeah. Dwight is a great guy. And he's lived with the burden of being Bill Hicks' childhood friend. Yep. And his comedy partner when they were, what, 14 or of being Bill Hicks, his childhood friend. Yep. And in his comedy partner,

when they were what, 14 or 15 for his entire life, Dwight's way. It's like, Oh yeah. Bill Hicks, his childhood friend. Yep.

That's a rough one. It's a rough one, but he's, I mean, he's happy. He makes money. I saw, he always reminds me of what this job is and what it can be.

Like I saw a picture of him, uh, performing on top of just some like tables for a company retreat and just looking like he was killing it and i was just like i never like i mean i never forget like like that's part of this job too job of comedy yeah just to make people laugh yeah no matter what the situation is yeah if you're being paid to do so if you're being paid to do so it's your job to go out there and do your job correctly. Do you feel that?

Yes, absolutely. Have you been in those situations? Yeah. I mean, just in life, you know, I'm not always wanting to go be funny. None of us, you know. But it's sort of interesting to bend what you want to do, to bend your comedy into that situation. Yeah. Because if you're unique and you do your own thing,

there's sort of that moment where you're like, this is not the situation for me. Yeah, oh yeah. There's a lot of that for me. Oh yeah, man. Fucking one-nighters on the road where they're just going out for comedy. There's no name value to it.

But the challenge of that moment where you're like, I got to do the job. Yeah, yeah, do your job. And it's like a lot of your challenge of, you know, that moment where you're like, I got to do the job. Yeah. Yeah. Do your job. And it's like a lot of your attitude of, I have to make this fun for me. Yeah. No matter what. Yeah. I have to have fun.

And if you're drawn into it, excellent. I mean, that's a lot of my headlining stuff now is people going like, and then being like, okay. Or them being like, and they're like no does that happen oh yeah really yeah for sure but you're so uh you're such a a sweet buddha-like presence up there yeah but like i mean if you don't i'm sweet but my thing is very rhythmic there's a there's a clear you gotta lock in if you're on the outside of it trying to jump in it's hard i can i can understand that if you're just like what is this fucking weirdo talking about i don't know

where to enter this situation so i get a lot of that so i mean so in that point i just like i still always want to do what i do but if i can make it accessible i don't mean i don't have a problem being like oh i have to explain it to you accessible i mean it's not like you're not coded it's just a matter of whether people are going to dig your groove yeah i saw you at the comedy store once i was like how's it gonna do here you're fucking right away you nailed it yeah that's my yeah i love going there it reminds me of suki's in portland it was just like that's a lot of what suki's was was uh uh we're not gonna listen you know we're not going to listen. You know, we're not going to listen.

We don't care. We're drunk. It's fucking 1230 or 1am. And so I just have to go out there and do what I want to do. And that's the same thing I feel at the comedy store. And that's what I like about going there. That weird moment of entry where you're like, well, we're going to know in about three minutes. That weird moment of entry where you're like, well, we're going to know in about three minutes.

The degree of fun I'm going to have is going to reveal itself in about three minutes. Yeah, absolutely. If not sooner. Yeah. Well, there was the first joke. That didn't go anywhere. Okay. Yeah, if we don't get on with this next one, it's a dog fight.

So how long ago did you move down here I moved down here July 4th of July of 22 years so like upcoming this July 4th I'll be two years and how long did how'd the how'd the marriage come undone I mean it was just always unraveling it was never a good thing we got married too young we were too poor we have a kid with autism we never really we always were just fighting other people and then was like oh why are we together yeah you know and you know there was a lack of trust especially with me being on the road yeah uh and so it just was i mean i just remember she was told me she was like i don't like comedy anymore oh really and i knew that day i was like it's over i've been there i know that one where it's like you know i you know you someone told me that i ruined comedy for them

yeah yeah that's pretty much where I'm at. That is not what the clown's job is. That is not part of our resume. I ruined comedy for a couple of women. Yeah, they're not into a whole genre. They're just all about dramas right now. No more laughing. How often do you see Malcolm?

I see him pretty much monthly. He's going to be here for the summer. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. With you and Ian? Yeah. Ian knows him? Yeah.

Yeah, they get along. They're buds. I could see Ian getting along with a relatively nonverbal, excitable person. Yeah, yeah. He's real. He's just super chill. He just wants to play video games and eat pizza. So, like, he's, like, the coolest.

But do you ever tour with Ian? Because both of you guys, I don't think you middle for me, but you were on my show once or twice at Helium in Portland. That must have changed everything up there when you got the comedy club. Yeah, definitely. Finally. Yeah. That was the first time I really noticed you, I think. Yeah.

i really noticed you i think yeah it was the first time where we had like real like goals in competition and people trying to get things and then people getting upset at people sure why'd that guy get to feature yeah i've been doing it longer yeah fuck that guy a lot of that yeah yeah do you have you headlined up there yet no uh no are you headlining though yeah i'm headlining i'm doing stuff you think he's gonna let't know. It's weird with the hometown thing, right? Yeah, it kind of is. It's just kind of like, I don't know if they'll ever look at me like that. That's fucking bullshit. Because you were up there when they opened, right?

So you were up there for the first couple years of that place. But it's the same with every hometown thing. It's like, you know, why not put their own guys up there? Has Dwight done it? Yeah, Dwight did it. But, you know, I know i think they gave him like one of those off days they didn't give him a weekend oh man so we'll have to talk to grossman about it yeah let them know yeah uh i mean i think yeah i mean i'll take credit as i mean i was the first person to take ian out on the road were you as your uh feature yeah yeah then you're like, well, he's got very big personality, this fella.

I'm glad I took him on the road that one time. No, I'm never afraid of competition. I like it. Do you? Yeah, yeah. I like it. I mean, that's my favorite thing is when I work with headliners who aren't afraid to travel with people who are strong, you know?

When, like, you're talking about yourself yeah yeah for sure have you put it up the headliner's ass a couple of times a couple times for sure and they'll they'll gladly admit it i won't mention any names here but they know who they are i know that day i know that that one night out of that week yeah i mean and it's not fair i mean it's the best position to be if you're working with a strong feature like well that one night out of that week yeah i mean and it's not fair i mean it's the best position to be yeah if you're working with a strong feature like well that one you got that one i don't love that competition myself yeah i mean because it's not fair like if i'm doing like 20 25 and you gotta do a full hour i do like to work with strong axo you know like i definitely like

i would i'll take the hit if there is a hit to be taken if i like watching the guy work yeah do you know what i mean like because it's better to be taken if i like watching the guy work yeah do you know what i mean like because it's better to be out on the road with somebody who's yeah who's fun and you like and hang out with and you know it's and most of the time people there to see me they know what they're getting you know what i mean no one's gonna hand me my ass too bad i'm not gonna be out there with any big musical closers. Oh, yeah, right? Yeah. So what do you do during the day now? Depends on how I'm feeling.

If it's a good day, hopefully I get up early, do some writing, go to the gym, do some shows, write some stuff. Bad day? Bad day. I watch a lot of 90s wrestling, take a lot of bong hits and naps, don't work out and then wonder if I'll ever find love again. How was today? Today was a middle day where it started off bad and then I forced myself to go to the gym.

Well, thank God. And then you came here. Yep. A turned around man. Alright, buddy. It's good talking to you. Good talking to you, Mark. Alright, that's it. It's good talking to you. Good talking to you, Mark. All right, that's it. That's our show, PDX. Portland, represent. That's right.

What great guys. You know, I love both of them. I really do. I don't know if they know that. I don't know if they know that I love them, that Ian Carmel and the Ron Funches fella. That's it. That's our show. Go to

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