WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 542 - Bob Rubin

Episode Date: October 15, 2014

San Francisco in the 1980s was a hot zone of standup comedy and Bob Rubin loomed as large as anyone on the scene. Bob's eccentric and unpredictable style is on display while he talks with Marc in the garage. And even though things still get random and absurd, Bob also talks seriously about his struggles, both biological and chemical, and the drive that allows him to soldier on. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Lock the gates! Alright, let's do this. How are you, what the fuckers? What the fuck buddies? What the fuckstables? What the fuckineers? What the fucksticks? What the fucking delics?

What the fuckminsterfullers? How about the UK? What's going on, UK? I need one for the UK. The second season of Marin and IFC starts tonight in the United Kingdom on Fox. So if you're there, that's just off the top of my head. Welcome to the show. I'm Mark Marin.

I feel like I don't reach out enough to my international listeners. I know that Marin season one is going to be in Australia soon. I'll try to get dates on that. I'll try to get in the loop on that. But it is on season two starts on get in the loop on that but it is on uh season two starts uh on fox in the uk tonight i just want to give you a heads up because i want you to feel like i'm leaving you out i know that we get isolated over here uh in this uh in in in here here in the states there's a certain uh entitlement that you may think that we have or we think we're special or whatever but i just i don't always know what the hell is going on. And this morning is Thursday. My heart goes out to

those victims of the idea of Ebola who are suffering today with imagined symptoms. I hope you guys are okay. And obviously to the real victims, I truly feel bad but let's let's talk about other things i mean that's heavy man it's a heavy start you know these prehistoric bugs have had a vengeance for for billions of years and uh we've uh we've been lucky lately on the prehistoric bug front renegade strands of rna looking to finish their job so uh hopefully that'll get under control somehow god damn it welcome is what i meant to say good morning if this morning for you uh today on the show the the the infamous almost mythic bob rubin uh if you don't know bob rubin he was a san francisco comic who who dominated that scene dominated it by the time i moved to san francisco in the late 80s or what was it the early 90s

bob had moved on he was a an occasional guest but uh but san francisco comedy was all about bob rubin the rube for a long time. Powerful character. And many of you may not know who he is, and we'll talk about that. We're going to talk to the Rube. It's an interesting decision to make to become a broad character when you're doing comedy, to be a bigger-than-life presence with a peculiar disposition and outlook and vision. with a peculiar disposition and outlook and vision. When you begin to have to wrestle with that character to maybe find what's left of yourself,

it's an interesting undertaking. Not many people do the full-on character. And you know what? It's never a full-on character, which I think we'll find with Rube in this conversation. Obviously, there's always part of you in it, and sometimes it gets hard to tell the difference between the two the rube bob rubin coming up uh coming up shortly i'm talking in radio voice today what's going on with me let me give you a cat update all right

let me let's just get raw about it all right because i know a lot of you people are in the loop with me on this with the monkey situation with the dick licking and uh pain and and my fear and my projections about what's going on and then my you know my exacerbating the problem with my fear so what i've chosen to do with this cat he doesn't seem to be licking his dick anymore he seems to have leveled off he seems a little more fragile than he used to be but that might just be age he seems relatively healthy other than there's something wrong with his eye. And now there seems to be something wrong with the other eye. I'm just going to wait it out.

I'm actually going to take the advice of some vets that emailed me and some people out there. I'm only going to feed the cat wet food. I'm actually adding a bit of water to the wet food. It's high-end wet food. I'm hoping that, you know, it'll keep him overly hydrated and move things through his bladder since it is sort of an undiagnosed sort of vague inflammation of the bladder with no crystals that we know of present and i'm just gonna love the cat the best i can i can't forget that he was always a skittish cat he was always fucking freaked out see like if i'm thinking he's freaking out more or he's freaking out less and that's a

problem and i'm freaking out because of that it just becomes this big sort of vortex of fucking anxiety meanwhile fonda lafonda is like um what's up i'm just sitting around getting fat that's okay with you so that's an update on the cat situation and i i do want to report that uh deaf black cat back back in the fold this morning as of this morning after a month-long absence deaf black cat decided hey maybe i'll go eat at that other place scaredy cat is back around looking healthy that cat i haven't seen in three months back eating the food and i'm gonna give him some fucking wet food because i want those guys around i'll be the crack dealer in the neighborhood i I got no beef with that. Here you go. Have a nice bowl of wet food. I'll see you in a few hours, stray cat, crazy guy.

So that's what's going on over here. Oh, oh, I should tell you about a couple of exciting encounters in New York City. So, all right. I do this show for the New Yorker. It was nice to be asked to do it. It was a good show. Me and Al Magical and Todd Berry and Patton and Susie Essman and Baron Vaughn was there and Morgan Murphy and whatever. It was a good show.

Great show. And then there's the New Yorker party. All right. So here's what happens. A couple of fairly interesting events happen. I'm the new yorker party all right so here's what happens a couple of fairly interesting events happen um i'm at the new yorker party it's a clusterfuck but you know it's like it's it's that sort of like that weird new york intelligentsia i mean the new yorker is still you know a barometer or a precedent or a whatever you want to call it it's like the

intellectual alamo they're they're holding out they're the ones waving the banner of of intellectualism in the world and and it's it's not an easy task because uh i subscribed to new yorker briefly it just became too much pressure but um but nonetheless i'm at this party and there's a lot of young people and i'm there you know uh nick kroll was there i saw ren is easy there. I'm hanging out with Todd and Morgan. And then I'm like, oh, my God, there's Gay Talese. You know, like these people that I remember from when I was a kid looking at the magazine. You know, he's a writer. And then, like, I'm up on the roof.

I'm looking over Manhattan. And then I see an older dude come in, kind of stocky guy. He comes out and sits down. I'm looking at him, and I'm like, holy fuck that's randy newman that's fucking randy newman now i don't know what your context for randy newman is whether you think he's just a guy that writes cute songs for movies which would be a tremendous disrespect to the genius that is randy newman like his first five or six albums are fucking satirical masterpieces in in some respects and and musically beautiful an amazing songbook than randy newman uh early stuff and uh so i see him

and i like i don't this doesn't happen to me very often but i start like stumbling i'm like like i gotta wow geez i gotta i gotta i gotta say something you know so i kind of barge over there you know in a in almost a panic and he's sitting there's a woman standing next to him and i'm like randy newman i'm mark maron um i'm a big fan he's like well thank you thank you very much i'm like i have a podcast i have a podcast and i don't think i'm talking in this tone but this is the tone that's happening inside of me i'm like i have a podcast could you i would like to talk to you on the podcast and he's like well you're gonna have to call my uh you know what and i'm like oh my god i just i'm a big fan and i'm just sitting there melting and you know you know

just kind of like imploding somehow and the woman standing next to him says uh i like your podcast i'm like oh my god and and literally she is right next to him and i say is there any way you can get randy newman on the show and he's standing right there so it was not a not good showing for me really uh but it turned out it was his manager so i'm going to reach out to her i'd love to talk to randy newman so that was pretty exciting for me even though i made a complete fucking you know ass out of myself so then you know i decide to leave you know, I decide to leave, you know, and I'm leaving, um, the, uh, event and I'm in an elevator and I, oh, the elevator doors open up and like a guy walks on and he's got a hat and he's with some other, he's with another person. There's two other people

and he turns around and it's sting. I'm going into an elevator with sting and he's just exuding stingness i think that's most of what he does is that you you cannot help but feel and when you see sting you are just you are enveloped in a cloud of stingness you are you are you are you are just you're in it you can feel his gaze and he looks at me right in the eye and i knew the look because i don't care really you know i'm not going to get all excited about sting but your eyes do a thing when you acknowledge that you see somebody that um that is you know sting and i i read in his eyes that like he lives for that he lives for that moment where people go like oh shit that sting oh there's sting i can feel it i get i just i know it i mean

he saw my look and he's like and i looked at him and all i all i felt from his look was like yeah yeah i am him i'm fucking sting who are you not registering that's for sure you're not sting so so i turned my back oning and I overheard a conversation. It was very interesting. And I kind of iced Sting because in my mind I wanted him to feel stung. So I turned my back on Sting and I overheard him talking to what must have been a publicist or something. And I don't like to do this. I'm not throwing anybody under the bus.

But apparently he's got some sort of new show and he's having this conversation about this guy, about where they should promote the show and how they should promote the show to sell tickets and i'm thinking like really sting and then i actually heard him say it's like the challenge is to succeed against the challenge is to succeed against the odds and i'm thinking like you're fucking sting didn't you win aren't you didn't you i mean you don't you have like a billion dollars in the ability to fuck for 12 hours straight i mean what what i don't i guess people just feel like they have to keep they have to keep plugging along which is great i it's i guess i don't know i i haven't been keeping up with sting but apparently there's a tremendous market of international fans and

middle-aged women that enjoy what he does still. So anyways, I guess the point is I did not ask Sting to be on the podcast. But I did ask Randy Newman because that's who I am. So strap yourself in here. We're going to talk to the Rube. It was a pleasure to talk to Bob Rubin. I had not seen Bob Rubin in many years, and I'm glad Bob Rubin is doing well. But it's a hell of a story.

So listen. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats.

Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. It's a night for the whole family. Be a part of Kids Night when the Toronto Rock take on the Colorado Mammoth at a special 5 p.m. start time on Saturday, March 9th

at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton. The first 5,000 fans in attendance will get a Dan Dawson bobblehead courtesy of Backley Construction. Punch your ticket to Kids Night on Saturday, March 9th at 5 p. 5pm in Rock City at torontorock.com You alright with those? I don't know why people have a problem with the headphones.

My head's gigantic, man. I ran into a chapeau shop with a friend of mine. Yeah. And that's the only way I seen people... I ran into a chapeau shop with a friend of mine. Yeah. And that's the only way I would have ever been seen in a chapeau shop. I don't even know what a chapeau shop is. You know, a hat shop. Oh, a hat shop.

A hat shop. Yes, sir. My friend's like, we're riding around in his Porsche. Yeah. With the top down. Right. We could have just left it at that. Riding around Hollywood with the top down.

With my giant head already, I look like an Art Deco logo yeah with my arms hanging out both sides he's a little fella you want to know who it was who Rob Schneider sure he's a little fella in that Porsche because I got to buy a hat I said you don't have to buy a hat got a nice house you got a Porsche a couple movies doing well you don't have to buy a hat yeah give me the keys to this car and let's go for it and uh we ran in and these two guys came running right at me oh we gotta measure your head yeah you measure the head they were freaked out by what a little over eight a little over eight that is big fucking head man yeah i know so we i'm trying to think like i feel like i just missed you when i got to san francisco is that possible or maybe

you were you were you were off the grid perhaps what were you like 92 93 are we recording sure sure you're tricky yeah it's not that tricky no i know but i thought you'd give me a three two okay hold on no i don't need that you want me you want me to do that it'd be fun though you know i haven't had a real job in so long i wouldn't mind it you want me to do the real radio interview is that the real the radio setup like, no. The radio setup? No. Hey, folks, welcome. It's Bob Rubin. Hey, Bob Rubin. Nah.

Bob, the old Rube is here. There you go. That was fun. Yeah. Feels good. I'm a little rusty, man. I swear to God, nobody's asked me a question since 2008. Do you know any of the answers?

That's not. No, I didn't. That's not good, man. Why don't? Nobody asked me a question, I didn't. That's not good, man. Why don't... Nobody asked me a question. I'm not kidding you. Really? They haven't asked me a question

since 2008. I was subpoenaed by the FBI, but that doesn't count because that's a command. What were they subpoenaing you for? We command you to be at federal court in Oakland on May...

No, March. This happened last month. Really? Yeah. For what? Well, the funny thing is I'm not allowed to discuss it. The second thing is I don't even know. So why would I discuss something I don't know?

I will tell you this. Sounds like you're in a little trouble to me, Bob. I hope not, but I will tell you this. Yeah. Hang on one second. I'm going to tell the audience right now I'm doing something that's a little bit technical. Okay. I'm going to tell the audience right now I'm doing something that's a little bit technical. Okay. I'm adjusting the mic.

That was perfect. Hey, Mark. Beautifully done. From where I'm sitting, beautifully done. You're a professional. I am sometimes. You're the best at this podcasting. Well, thank you very much.

No, you are. Thank you. I'm going to tell you later another reason why I brought that up. Okay. Well, I'll tell you later another reason why i brought that up okay well i'll tell you later uh i don't want to bounce all around the place think like i'm yagged out on coffee or something well here's what we're gonna do i think what we should do is okay now back when i moved to san francisco in 1992 you know i was yeah i was running from my own thing you know i was chasing the dream so i get so i get to san to San Francisco, and then everyone's sort of like,

have you seen Ruben? By that time, you had drifted away somehow. It was like I'd gotten there right in, like the heyday was over, and they were wondering what was going to happen, and they were like, well, maybe it's all going to turn around. And Bob Ruben was this mythic idea. It was an idea. Bob rubin was one of the original san francisco guys from the original crew from the old days like early late 80s right

exactly yeah and and it was like and then like the first time i saw you it was like what the fuck is this who the hell is this guy what is he doing no one does what he's doing why is he doing it well yeah well that's a question you've got to answer for yourself all right i will okay where'd you grow up though why is he doing that i grew up in west virginia wheeling west virginia you know and i had the hillbilly thing in me uh what does that mean this is a hillilly thing. I had that in me the whole time. You grew up with that? Yeah. Did you grow up in a rural situation? Everything was pretty much rural.

Well, they used to have the canaries that go down in the mines. Sure. If the canaries pass out, then you don't go in the mine. It's a gas leak. Yeah, there's not enough oxygen. Is that what it is? Not a gas thing? It's an oxygen thing?

Well, it's actually a gas thing, so it makes it not enough good mixture. You come from coal miners? No, no. I came from the people that raised those little birds. Come on. I'm serious. You would take in. And then when I was like, between the ages of three and five, I had to go in, in a little

cage and find out if there was a good mix of oxygen and CO2 and carbon. That was your job that your family gave you. Yeah, a couple times I didn't come out, but they resuscitated me. I'm like, you know, I don't want to go into this. And that's what made you funny. Well, you know, my parents said that they did that because they wanted to get me out of- Virginia. What's the real story, though?

What does your family do? That is the real story. Because it's like when you- They raised birds? Yeah, minor birds is what they were called. They did. Are you fucking with me, Ruben? No, I'm not.

Your dad was in the canary business. Well, you say it like it's something shameful. No, it's- He was in the canary business. Okay, man. Big money. Big money. My grandpa, he was in a saloon business, but somebody broke in and shot him in the head

before I was even born. Is that true? That's true. Yeah. What for? Do you know? A robbery. Oh, it was just a robbery?

Yeah. But do you come from actual hill people? Yes. Yes. Yeah, but... it was just a robbery yeah but do you come from actual uh hill people uh yes yeah but you know uh the cousins table was always weird at the get-togethers you know for thanksgiving you know and you'd have to sit at the cousin tables and there was just there were like two of us yeah and we looked exactly the same stop it Is that true? Yes, this is true. Yeah. A lot of inbreeding, but you know, it started in Poland. I can't blame West Virginia. A lot of the inbreeding started in the old country. Oh, your family comes from Poland?

Poland and Russia, yeah. Jew? Yeah. You're a Jew that grew up in West Virginia, and you were brought up by a canary salesman. Yeah, and that's why I had stories to tell. I said, head west, and that's why I had stories to tell. I said, head west, young man. You got a tale to tell now.

I broke the hillbilly barrier in San Francisco. But is there a Jewish hillbilly? There seems to be more to the story. Well, can I tell you? I'm not going to go into jokes here. No, I don't want you to go into jokes. No, but can I tell you the one old joke from day one? Yeah. Since you just almost said it yourself.

Go ahead. And I would say, yeah if people had a hard time believing it i go no i'm jewish and i'm from west virginia yeah that's kind of odd jewish hillbilly it means i wasn't really circumcised a rabbi just sort of whittled on me a little bit boom that's the old uh that was that one of the first ones well i actually told that joke at a seminar held by city council, and I think that's the one where the hillbilly barrier was finally broken in San Francisco. Because before that, you had hip, you had tragically hip, and you had hippies, and then you had people that came from Wisconsin to be comedians, or you had people coming from New York, Chicago, LA.

And I'll tell you the other thing. I remember when I was going to school in Arizona, University of Arizona, and I was working on a school concert board, and I went to pick up Marsha Wallace. Yeah. And I picked her brain. I was picking her up at the airport, taking her to a concert. Yeah. And she was opening up for the Busboys.

Right. Minimum wage rock and roll. Remember that? I do. I remember them. Yeah, me too, man. I love that show. But she said something to me that I always remember.

And she said, get your chops at home. It doesn't matter. Yeah. You know, do a few years at home. Then you can run to LA if you want. And where was home at that time? Arizona or did you go back to- Arizona.

Arizona was home. So you stayed in Arizona. Well, yeah. I started doing a show there called The Comedy Corner. And we had a lot of fun. It was in the food court area in the student union. Yeah. And they had a little area there that you could go and eat your stuff.

So it was just tables and chairs but it was nice it was layered yeah and the stage was about a foot off the ground a nice little uh a nice little theater daytime daytime we do it at noon on friday i read about it it had been going on for maybe a year and a half and i read about it because they got an article about it in the uh school newspaper so it wasn't your show you just started performing on i joined it i had to audition and uh do you remember who the guys were any of them end up anywhere i think a couple of ended up being some comedy writers because the funny thing was i saw some mention about it and i'm you know wikipedia this thing and it And it had it, Comedy Corner, Arizona.

And it had my name and the thing about, oh, some of the alumni that have come out of there. And I saw that. I just started breaking down weeping, you know, 30 years, 40 years later. Why? Because of the alumni? No, because I saw that and I'm like, oh, my God. I'm their go-to guy for like that. You're the guy who made it.

I'm the guy who made it. And like, you got to take a look around my cockroach-infested studio and reconsider that Wikipedia paragraph. But Mark, I didn't come here to talk about that. We can. So you grew up in rural West Virginia. Yeah. And then you went to college at the University of Arizona.

Yeah, University of Arizona. What did you do in high school, though? Were you a madman? I was a madman. What kind kind of car did you drive what kind of trouble was there to be had in rural rest virginia i got were you in jail yes just once but my dad he uh was a gynecologist and he there were five magistrates five judges yeah and uh one day I'm driving around with my friend Jimmy Prescott and I don't know who else and you know we had our Quartz and Miller beer and beer nuts yeah and I'm up up in the hills this area called Ogilby Park mm-hmm so they had all these forest rangers there okay Jimmy watch this and I start driving around the golf course and then i

you know go driving around the trap sand trap oh that was close yeah and then up onto the green again it it it's in the hole yeah and then boom boom at either side of me man uh cops and and i just slammed it into reverse man and i start I started taking off. You were actually in a high-speed chase in a golf cart on a course. Not a golf cart, in my car. Oh, okay, okay. Tearing up this golf course that was designed by Robert Trent Jones. So the instinct was to run. I like that because you can't do that anymore, not with helicopters,

but this is pre-helicopter. So you thought like Duke's a hazard, Smokey and the Bandit, you're going to get out. How long did that chase go on for? That's exactly what it was. That chase went on for about, well, from that point on, I slammed it in reverse

and that chase lasted about 10 minutes. They brought in two more sheriff cars. Ah, I thought I was gone, man. I made it up to the highway. Yeah. And they came at me from both sides and bumped me off to the side of the road and I'm standing there in handcuffs and I see some friends of mine drive by,

and I'm like, call my mom. Yeah. And, boy, that's a sad place to be in when you're going, call my mom. What were you, like 16? I mean, I've been in handcuffs since then, you know, recently. And it's like, call my mom. You're going to have to use one of those ghost radios, you know, recently. And it's like, call my mom. You're going to have to use one of those ghost radios, you know. She's not around anymore?

She's not around anymore. Either of your parents? Well, that's what they say. I never actually saw the casket open. I mean, it's a Jewish funeral, but. Pine box, baby. Your dad's still around? No, but again, that's what they say.

I think they were embarrassed by what I did, so they could have faked their own death. The whole thing? The entire life of what you did? Yeah, this whole thing, man. Do you have siblings? Oh, no, no, no. I got that cleared up.

You have brothers and sisters? Brothers and sisters? I have two older sisters. Check this out, man. One time, my parents go on a vacation when I was eight years old. And my oldest sister was 11, 12. And my grandma was staying with us. So we go to play a game, any kind of game,

that you need to have a piece of paper to keep score on. So I looked around. Hey, here's a piece of paper. I grab it. And then she flips over the paper to know hey here's a piece of paper i grab it and then she flips over the paper to see it was a special piece of stationery that she got for hanukkah you know back in the late 60s early 70s that was a huge gift yeah you know instead of a smartphone yeah and uh she freaked out man and it was like uh anthony quinn grabbed a knife and came after me.

It was like a fight between Go-Gan and Van Gogh. Kirk Douglas. Kirk Douglas, yeah, Van Gogh and Go-Gan. And I ran for the bathroom because between 9 and 12, I was smaller than them. Ran for the bathroom. Attacking the bathroom door with a knife. And my grandma, my poor grandma. Yeah.

She didn't know what to do. Now, this was the start of my parents' trip. Yeah. They came back 10 days later. Well, me and my older sister, we're not talking to each other. Yeah. Haven't since. Really?

Can you imagine that? That's not true. Oh, that is true, my friend. Wow. Really? Can you imagine that? That's not true. Oh, that is true, my friend. Wow. Yeah, can you imagine that? That's a long time, dude. Over a stationery? I've reached out many times.

There are people, I was, I came into the family late. You know, my dad was pushing 50 when he had me. Yeah. So everybody was old or gone already. You know what I mean? Everyone was old all the time. So you're constantly going to funerals to where you're just like, oh, man, I'm afraid to die now.

When my grandma died, I had to be a pallbearer. I was 12 years old. That's too intense, man. It is. I did that. I was a little older. It was 12 years old. That's too intense, man. It is. I did that. At that age? I was a little older. It is intense.

Yeah, it's too intense. And then they're like, just do it. You're going to be bar mitzvahed soon. You'll be lavished with pen and pencil sets and some cash and a BB gun. You'll get over it. Yeah. But that summer, when the sun went down, it scared the hell out of me because I thought I was going to die at night.

And I used to go, when everybody went to bed, I'd get out of my bed and I'd go sit downstairs. And I'd look at things and I'd go, that's the last thing you're ever going to see. That shell. So you were plagued with anxiety. At that moment, yeah, but I'm fine now. I feel great. I know that fucking feeling. It's a horrendous feeling i have it a little more now than i used to this sort of um uh you know the the the going to sweep at

night like is this it i mean i'm 50 how old are you i just turned 53 april 7th let's track this thing though so all right so you go you leave uh rural west virginia and i think we know now that your father was a doctor that's right gynecologist man very different than a canary salesman um but but i'll try to i'll try to pick up the glean the facts against the mythology i will i will try to wait where did i slip up you slipped up how did you know he was a doctor you tricked me i didn't trick you good man you said it bro i did you know he was a doctor? You tricked me. I didn't trick you. You're good, man. You said it, bro. I did?

You said it. Uh-oh. Yep. You know when you said it? When? You want to know when you pulled the curtain back? Yeah, when? I don't remember.

Yeah, you said it when you got into the car chase and your dad knew some judges. Oh, that's right. Yeah. And then the real Bob Rubin came out. I saw him. You're good, man. God damn it. That's it. I'm walking out. Yeah, I'm came out. I saw him. You're good, man. God damn it. That's it.

I'm walking out. Yeah, I'm walking out. Revealed. Everyone knows my dad was a gynecologist. Oh, so anyhow, the magistrate that was on duty on that Sunday, well, just so happened my dad delivered five of his kids, so I walked. There you go. Not bad having connections.

Nope. So you stayed out of trouble. So basically, you know. This is tough, man. What is tough? Talking? No, not talking. It's just so early.

You know, I think the last time I was called upon, this isn't performing. It's just hanging out talking, you know. It is, yeah. Well, I don't like, you know, it's weird because I was, you know, knowing how your reputation precedes you, both comedically and personally. And I missed most of what was the Bob Rubin experience in San Francisco. Because had you gone to L.A. already once

by the time I got there? Well, I had started to go to L.A. actually in 86. Right. And then I moved to L.A. the very last day of 93. It was right there. Right when I got there, you left. I did, yeah. Right. And then I moved to LA the very last day of 93. So essentially- It was right there. Right when I got there, you left. I did, yeah. Right.

Essentially, I left the last day of 93, first day of 94. And then in the first two and a half weeks in 94, my girlfriend of six years dumped me. My dad died. And then there was that big Northridge earthquake. I remember that. So in my head I'm thinking, welcome to LA, son. This is it.

This is going to be easy. Oh, boy, this is going to be easy. But let's talk about your class. Because at that time, so you started doing comedy a bit in Arizona, and then you go to San Francisco in what year? I go to San Francisco in 83. All right, so that's really the beginning of what became the defining modern comedy period for San Francisco.

For San Francisco, right. Right, so you got Dana Gould, you got Jake Johansson, you got Robin around, right? Yeah, yeah. You got Steve Pearl around. You got Proops and Warren Thomas. You got Durst. You got Dromas oh you got durst you got um dr gonzo yeah you got a pritchard you got i mean like that is the crew right yeah did i miss anybody probably schneider what's coming rob schneider yeah a little later probably no actually

he was there he was there uh because he was doing uh standup in high school. He lived in Pacifica. Right, Sue Murphy, Ellen DeGeneres. Yep. Yep. Slayton, Kravitz. Slayton, Kravitz, Pearl. So that was like the golden age of fucking San Francisco. Did I mention Dana Gould? Kevin Meaney was there, right?

Kevin, he would come out. I think he pretty much was still a Boston. No, Kevin Meaney did come out because he was a bartender at the Holy City Zoo after Robin Williams. As a matter of fact, Robin Williams and Kevin Meaney and myself were the last three bartenders at the Holy City Zoo that were comedians. So they're all joking, especially when I came around. Because, you know, Robin, great success. Kevin, just a little bit later got that Uncle Buck and then um so they're like oh I guess you're next right no I'll fuck this up

somehow trust me but but what like the style there because like you know you I don't know that you could have existed you know anywhere else other than San Francisco at that time. No, I couldn't have existed, but I did go out and do my thing in places where they're like, I mean, I used to go to places where they're like, oh, they're never going to get you. But they did because I would just go out and ramble on. And the whole thing was, I think, probably brought from leftovers from the 70s and early 80s, where you still had more larger-than-life type of characters being presented. But I also had a lot of great humor to back it up, and I wasn't using props or anything like that.

Right. But I did, like in 86, I lost the Tonight Show. I had it booked. I was standing there eavesdropping when I did the audition at the improv, and my manager at the time went up to, i think jimmy brogan at the time and this was after you'd seen your manager uh bob lacy uh-huh and uh he came down uh he got the he got the audition for me and he came in there to rep me and um so i went in there and you know the thing is it's like make sure when you walk off stage, you did everything you could.

Yeah. Because I knew back then, I knew my whole life, if you don't get picked, just make sure it's because you didn't suck that night. Right. Because I'll tell you a quick story of when I did suck. Take your time. Okay. I'll tell you a quick story of when I did suck. Take your time.

Let me, okay. I'm going to kick back then. But what happened on that audition? Oh, the Tonight Show audition? Blew the roof off the improv. And I did material. And, you know, which I don't necessarily always do. I did boom, boom, boom, boom.

Even snapped my fingers and said boom during the set which can irritate people yeah sure but that's part of it persistence yeah right yeah it didn't it didn't seem to bother anybody and and many people afterwards were handing me buttered top hats there were large parades but here's what happened i'm i'm eavesdropping and my manager he comes up to him like an hour after my said he was your boys brilliant man and he's and he's still reciting material that I did yeah because he remembered it I'm like oh this is good and he goes oh and my head opens up a calendar he's like well let's book him right now he was call me tomorrow and then he called him Monday, and the guy said, yeah,

I definitely want to book him on the show. And then two weeks go by, nothing happens. My manager called him up, said, and the guy said to him, well, yeah, you know, we want to put him on Johnny, but what's with the character? And my manager's like, what do you mean, what's with the character?

He said, well, what's with the hair and the cowboy boots and all that that's when you had that giant mullet bouffant thing oh yeah i was in uh what do you call that thing uh those movies with mel with uh danny glover mel gibson yeah what were those movies called the uh legal lethal lethal weapon here yeah that's what i had. The Mel Gibson lethal weapon hair. No, you were a big boy. Big guy, man. With a big beard, big hair. Yeah. Big boots.

Yeah, man. And people, I guess, I don't know. I don't see what the big deal was because that was not that far removed from some great character comedians. Well, who were your guys coming up that inspired you to do whatever it is that you do? I mean, I know what you're talking about, character comedians, and I know that they don't... Yeah, at some point, they stop being around. Right, right. Who were those guys?

Growing up? Sure. Growing up, I loved Professor Irwin Corey. Yeah, that makes sense. I loved Steve Martin. Yeah. I loved Steve Martin. Yeah. I loved Robert Klein. Mm-hmm.

I loved Bill Cosby. Corey's still alive, you know. He's like almost 100. I didn't know that. He's going to turn 100 this year. Wow, man. Isn't that crazy? Where does he live, in New York?

Yeah. Oh, my goodness. I'd love to see him. You should see him. Have you met him? No, I'd love to see him. You should see him. Have you met him? No. I'd love to meet him. I think that makes perfect sense to me, that you are a legacy of Irwin Corey.

Well, yeah. And you know what? Brother Theodore. Yep. I can see that. I was on the radio in New York with Brother Theodore. Were you? Yeah.

And he shows up, and the first words out of his mouth, we're sitting across from each other just like you and I were, and the first words out of his mouth were, I look at you, and I hate you! I see you sitting there, such youthful, big, and all that hair. I hate you! This morning I i woke up and i looked out my bedroom window and i saw a rat garnished with tartar sauce and in my head i'm thinking all right here we go baby let's toss around let's do dueling non- sequiturs because I was born to do that. But I love Brother Theodore. When was that?

That was in the 80s, about when he had hit his pinnacle off of. And you were just in New York doing a gig or something? Yeah. And you knew of his shit before. Yeah, yeah. I knew who he was. I was a fan. I'd seen him on Letterman.

He'd come up on Letterman and freak everybody out. He was a trip man. And then he ran that one-man show forever on 13th Street, I think it was. Over by 13th and University, maybe, somewhere around there. Yeah, and I used to hear all the funny stories about people, the culturally modern hip people of that day. And somebody would say, I think it was a running gag, too, and the people didn't find out about it

until years later, so they wouldn't tell anybody that they were there. But you know how celebrities like to let people know that they're there? Almost like have a press agent go in first and hand out flyers. They do do that. Their publicists do that kind of stuff.

Yeah, yeah. He's going to be there. Well, what we're talking about brother theodore yeah brother theodore man who showed up at the brother theodore show yeah and he would found out he'd find out about different people and uh he'd have him stand up oh i understand that uh uh he had alexander bernhardt stand up And everybody clapped, and the first words out of his mouth were, I hate you.

And then he would keep going off. Funny shit. And then, you know, a lot of people, somebody with a good sense of humor like Sandra, and then other people were like, oh, I want him. It became one of those things where, please let him call my name out. And I want him to pick on me. I want him to hate me.

I want him to hate me. Yeah. So, yeah, I could see Brother Theodore being a guy that was fucking mind-blowing to you and klein too i mean klein was sort of a a powerhouse i mean like of just sort of like non-stop dude full-on yeah and he was very funny yeah he was he could really you know string it out like i watched a set of yours from 89 that's up online from the evening at the improv and like no no no no that but see the weird thing is is that i haven't talked to many comics like you because you're a rare thing that you know you

guys like you don't happen all the time because it takes such amount of of perseverance and fearlessness to sort of you know get up there and start some lyrical fucking you know uh storm of whatever it is you're going to do with with knowing full well that the audience is going to be like what the fuck maybe for the whole set right and and and you know you you have to rely on your wits and and just your your sort of focus to even build a momentum like even in that set at the evening at the improv is like no one knew what you were doing that was what 89 80 90 no one knew what the fuck you were doing right and they just had to reckon with your own flow and i mean that takes an amazing amount of balls and i think

that you know to find your own time zone up there is no small thing and then to commit to it it you know it's a it's a blessing and a curse, right? I'll tell you what right now, man. I heard every word you just said. You got me. Put me down for $20. Yeah, you're in. Where's that donate tab? No.

That's correct. But the keyword you mentioned, which shows you how in tune you are to everything, but especially what I'm doing, which is great, it's exciting. You mentioned lyrics or lyrically? Perseverance, lyrical. Well, perseverance.

Yeah, I think that you have to, well, I just want to say something about lyrically. I try to draw a blank and then get some music rolling in my head. Right. Now, don't get me wrong, I have jokes just like everybody else, and then I have some rambles that are supposed to be funny yeah i'm not up there for the sake

of being weird the proudest thing that i know of is in 31 years of doing stand-up people have hated me viciously why or loved uh because i think that i'm just up there it's like uh they don't know they don't know what to do with you either. They don't know what to do. But also, some of it gets very philosophical. It's just the truth. Because I'm just going, just be silly. And I'm showing them that, hey, you don't have to be cool.

I'm certainly not. You don't have to be hip. I'm certainly not. And then the rest of it's more like it offends somebody's senses when they've paid money and then you're out there and they think you're on drugs, you know? Right. But sometimes, and you've seen this. Yeah.

Sometimes they act like, make us laugh. Yeah. I don't think we were ever there to make them laugh. I tend to agree with that. I don't think that, I think that the that I'd say most comedians would say no that is the job but I think that it seems that you know people like you or myself and I don't do what you do but the the more important thing was to have a real experience a real moment to have something happen on stage that'll never happen again you know whether or not it's it's

you know a punchline or doesn't, just to walk off stage and go, that's never going to happen again. Yeah, exactly. And that's a beautiful thing. And you know what? That will hold you back more than anything. You're absolutely right. And if you want to move to L.A. and get into show business,

that will hold you back more than anything. Well, I have to assume that once you got down here, given the notoriety that you had sort of built up in San Francisco, that what happens when you come down here is they want to box you. So they're like, oh, you're the wacky guy

who's going to, you know, dance around in his underwear. Right. Like they got no way to really assess what it is that, you know,

you're trying to do. Right. They just like, they're just trying to figure out how do we fit them into the garbage hump, the garbage heap that we're dumping into people's living rooms every week. Right.

What can we trim off this guy besides his beard and head to make him fit into the... They think they know you. And the weird fucking thing about it, and I don't know if you had this experience, is that you get down here after building your thing. You built your fucking thing. And they're like, well, you'd be perfect in this uh in this thing for with this guy because you're that guy and then for a minute there you're like hi okay yeah i guess i am that guy for a minute yeah and then you try to be that guy and you're like what the fuck for a minute and then the next day you wake up and you put your feet over yeah to put your feet on the ground from your bed and then you just start vomiting horribly coughing up blood

you know you don't have food poisoning, and then you stop and think, oh, it was that meeting I had yesterday over at NBC. Yeah, my ass is bleeding. What happened over there? I've got some money in the bank. I've got the money in the bank. My ass is bleeding. I don't even think I have enough. That's not enough money to go see a doctor

for something horribly wrong I have now. The death of my soul. My soul has cancer. The death of my soul. To encapsulate when I moved down here. And then I moved back up. I'm still here. First set of shows I did when I moved back up north.

I go, hey, man, I don't know. People in the audience go, Rube, what did you move down here for? I don't know, are in the audience to go rube what do you have down here i don't know man you know what i woke up one morning i said to myself i'm tired of hanging out in the most beautiful city on the planet i think i'm gonna move to la and start hanging out with some of the most sincere people in the world uh-huh and i talk about hey you know i got pulled over by the hollywood police put your hopes. Step away from your dream. But the thing is, the thing is, somebody like yourself, you wouldn't kowtow to that. Hey, Mark, you know what you need to do? You got to put on a neighborhood jacket.

I want you to cut that hair. I've worn neighborhood jackets, but it was my own choice. But the thing is, is that I didn't know how. It's like I was more than open to listen to what they thought I was. You think that you were. No, I wasn't because I just didn't know how. Yeah, but they're telling you how. That's what I'm saying.

You wouldn't do it. It feels sick. It does feel a little sick. It feels sick. See, that's why this is genius. Because I went into my garage and I cut a bumper car in half and made a love seat you go into your garage and you build a following for yourself yeah i'm an idiot i don't know where's the bumper car well it's a nice car i mean it's in my studio in hollywood it's nice you know that's

not nothing but it doesn't sell tickets i know don't you have people coming up now just to see mark maron yeah but what about by that i mean and a lot of people don't understand if i get some shows yeah and the crowds they're there hey that might be good but they've got no clue what they're about to get into right uh and nowadays if you walk two people used to be nothing nowadays if you walk two people you get fired nothing nowadays if you walk two people you get fired on the second night i can't have that they're gonna go to yelp right now and write a bad review does that happen to you yes well let's let's talk about let's go back so you're bartending you're the last uh on the on the bartending train at the holy city zoo now i've talked to some people

who remember the zoo in its heyday i've've talked to Pearl. I've talked to Robin. But the Holy City Zoo was like a club that sat like 12 people. It was in San Francisco. And it was this amazing comedy incubator. Now, when you came from Arizona, is that the world you entered? Yes. But what happened was, I'll tell you what happened was, I went down there one night

to get into an open mic night. This is what I saw. I saw people standing around out front, going, hey, I backed over one of those plastic garbage cans with my car. I didn't even see it, man.

I went right over with my wheel. Do you think that's funny? And then I saw, seriously, I saw guys working things out i'm like oh fuck it man this isn't i don't want this this is bullshit man this is san francisco come on the whole thing should be a party i don't want to rehearse i want to be hunter thompson i want to be uh jackie gleason just give me some drinks and point me to the stage, man. And I walked away. Now, in my head, I'm thinking, you're going to want to do this. So don't move back anywhere. Don't move to Tucson.

Don't move to West Virginia. Whatever. You're going to want to do this. So it took a year. A year later, I did want to do it. So I was able to get on a bus rather than worry about a plane ticket. And then I went down there and everything was different. So I started doing the Holy City Zoo.

You know, because the other thing I remember was Bruce Springsteen on the cover of Newsweek at Time. It's the same thing. The one thing that always stuck out to me was in one of those articles, he said I was always a rock star. He said I crashed on couches, I borrowed some money. It wasn't embarrassing to me, and I paid everybody back. Now, 30 years later, I'm the same way. The only embarrassing thing is, not counting you, but a lot of people in this town do the quick math.

I got like $30,000 I got to pay back. But I still believe I can hit the big top mark. Well, I think you can. Big time, I mean. I'm on board, Bob. Let's talk about the rolling and tumbling through the last 20 years, Bob. Oh, my goodness.

Wow. So, like, when you were at the zoo, so you would watch Rob and you'd watch Steve, and, you know, there was definitely that sort of amazing. What I think was great about San Francisco is that the city was very enabling of indulgence. And they liked people to sort of push the envelope and take risks and do weird shit. It's like it really is one of the only cities that is at that time was sort of like, hey, man, if he's going to put it out there, we'll take it in. And you're and you're

like uh you're becoming a local uh a local fixture right the old the old rube right and people going around saying oh by the way the old rube let me tell you something one day i'm uh playing cards in my flat with two friends of mine and i'm just making them laugh goofing around making them laugh and then um there we had the music playing and uh cranked this was at four in the afternoon uh one of those uh two flats we were on the upper flat yeah so uh this woman downstairs she's freaking out it's like it's two it's two in the afternoon she got i, I got a baby. I was like, but we're all babies. You know, it's two in the afternoon. So then I said to her, so that night I got my friends and we got robes and candles and

we started doing fake Gregorian chants. Yeah. And I knocked on her door. Can we borrow your baby for like 10 minutes? Yeah. And then she called the guy that owned the building and somehow we got evicted for that. Uh-huh. I don't know how that was.

Scaring a woman with a baby with a fake satanic idea? How can you say that? We didn't threaten her. It was just a suggestion. It could have been Halloween. So you're out of that flat. Hey, if there was somebody on the radio telling us how to get out of a DUI

and scaring a baby for ritual sacrifice we would have hired him you know probably would have got away with it so anyhow I'm I'm joking around like you know we were stoned and like what do you want to get to eat and I just kept rambling oh you're gonna get a big old plate of hash browns yeah I just kept rambling there yeah so then we go to work that night and uh one friend was the doorman, and he said, he goes, you got to do that routine, man. The hash browns routine. Huh? The hash browns routine.

Yeah, and I'm going, what routine? He goes, the hash browns routine. I said, that's not a routine. We were just joking around. And I go up, and he comes walking towards the stage like. Yeah, do it. Got to do it. So I just went into it and uh

place fell out really just the repetition of hash brown the repetition and then uh extensions and just you know describing uh the differences uh different adjectives and all that yeah and it was also part of the style back then if you knew how to do it yeah it doesn't exist really too much now the building on the absurdity yeah yeah yeah yeah it doesn't exist too much now no not too much now and i know one guy that does it the guy who opens for me does it but it's it's like it's a tough one you know and it's it's i i miss it i miss seeing that shit well i have continued to push forward with it. And I found out while continuing, and by that I mean new material. And by continuing to push forward with it,

the entire earth has continued to push me out. So if I could just get enough money together, I'm going to probably get one of those astronaut suits or something, man. Where they'll appreciate you. Oh, I'm going on a journey. You're needed in space bob that's what i keep telling myself when the phone isn't ringing well i tell you i was

performing at the holy city zoo and then uh so i built up a couple of those uh heavily modulated you know like definite way out there yeah for like 15 minutes yeah then i would go into i had some sort of thing to break that part up then i'd go into me so i got to the point where i really couldn't follow me it was like the first six months of stand-up versus the next year and a half so i became this the whole time that was fun and then um what was funny was i was sitting with goldthwait one day in san francisco and i said to him, I go, you know, I always thought it'd be funny to go out. Oh, he was there too. I forgot about that.

He came out in what, like the 80s, right? Yeah, yeah. And I said to him, I go, you know, I always thought it'd be funny to go out a couple things. Go, you know, you go out and you have to say something like, hey, welcome. How's everyone doing? So I said, I just thought it'd be funny to go out and go lighten up everybody the old rube's here yeah like oh finally you know the guy that knows everybody's waiting to see him but reality is you try to avoid eye contact if you catch him two blocks down the

street yeah you know everybody like i could lead a room of jethro's if i was in a room of jethro's and then the other thing was i would start off fast and maniacal with these deep long rambles and I wanted to give the feel of like I was in the middle of a 45 minute set right you came in on the middle right I just thought that was hysterical yeah now I had some other I was toying with some other ideas but here's what's funny as far as uh trying to find some uh rearranging the chords right yeah infinite amount chords, infinite amount of notes, but look at all the great different music we have, right? Yeah.

Well, I read those notes that Mark Twain sent to his daughter, I think. Yeah. And he's talking about the same thing. Yeah. It's crazy, man. Yeah. It's just crazy. The same thing as what you're talking about?

Yeah, like starting off like a house, you know, switching the rhythms that people are used to when when they go to see a show right and then he said whenever people were talking because he was a performer he was a performer yeah a brilliant performer yeah and he did a simple thing which we forget to do to this day i don't think i've ever done it what he would continue to talk but he would lower his voice each time until eventually people just- Had to bend in. Yeah, what's that guy talking about?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'd stop talking with each other. That's really smart. Yeah. So you were very aware of your style. Very aware. And you were very, you knew what you wanted to do.

And you had this sort of like, you were an orchestra leader, the orchestra of Bob. Right, exactly yeah that's a great way to put it yeah where did the like I've watched you you've addressed your demons yeah at length in many different formats oh yeah and uh you know you you I don't know what if you've negotiated with them to the point where life is tolerable. Well, I fell in love. I have a beautiful woman who loves me. Yeah. And it's true love.

Yeah. And I'll tell you, some people have to wait to page 246. I found true love on page 18, man. Yeah. Incredible. I was really down and out. This one, man. Yeah. Incredible. I was really down and out. This one, I still have my apartment. I recently lost my apartment of 18 years.

Here in L.A.? I'm still here in L.A., but I live in the El Nido, where all you need is 16 bucks a night and the will to live. Are you living there? Yeah, yeah. But I had this killer bad man sanctuary you gotta have sanctuary you know and i lost it no big deal things will turn around what was my point oh demons yeah i'm laying on my couch in the fetal position probably for three weeks yeah and i'm not kidding you one day i'm laying there in the fetal position and my mom's

hands and uh face like out of one of those sand demon movies appeared and kissed me on my forehead and i bolted up right whoa doing that trying to catch my breath it was very real yeah and uh i was like took it as a sign for my mom get up get up because you're not done get up son and then from that point on i started doing uh dana gibson's room out in hillhurst and right what happened to that woman she around still yeah she's out in uh santa monica i don't know what your day's looking like, but it's beautiful. If you want to do a little beach volleyball with me later, you know. I haven't heard that name in a while. Yeah, she's doing fine. She's out in Santa Monica.

So I guess the ultimate question is, is that over the course of your career, and, you know, like I've known it, you know, so it's out there, that, you know, you either had good you know so it's a it's out there that you know you either had uh you had good bob or bad bob oh sure on any on any given night you talk about on stage well yeah and you know the how much was uh how how much fuel had bob ingested to try to get back to old bob sure and and what what has that struggle been like man the booze i knew what you were talking about well um a lot of it i'm not i'll tell you everything you want okay because they warned me you were going to get hard with me i ain't gonna get hard i just want you to be comfortable

you didn't get hard i'm just joking This is the most comfortable I've ever been. Like I said, no one's asked me a question in six years. Yeah. And I've answered a lot of them. I'm having a great time. I talked to somebody recently who saw you do an hour and said it was fucking genius. So, I mean, obviously, it's still percolating, and obviously, you're still who you are. But, I mean, how did you?

Here's the demons. The demons were, yeah, I just got, I started to drink a lot you know because I wanted to be like Jackie Gleason and then uh what happened was I started probably to drink too much and you can believe this or not believe this didn't drink before I went up on stage but the thing was because of my mania uh when I got off that stage good or bad you want yeah i had to stay up keep it going i wanted to keep it going like come on come on where is everybody come on man and then the next thing you know i'd be drinking till you know 11 o'clock the next morning i'd sleep all day barely get up to go do my show and then the show suffered because

i was exhausted and you could see this right all the way down man and and just the sweat pouring out the booze sweat and people and then i'd get angry man i'd get angry i said i will send you out of here in record time. So you were walking rooms? I was walking rooms, and it wasn't very good. But I did a lot of fashion shows at the time, too. I was a big, good-looking guy back then. Never walked a fashion show. You know, when I felt that the respect needed, I was there for it.

But do you think you fucked up? Yeah, probably. I think I fucked up. Yeah. I think i fucked up yeah i think i fucked up but not when you consider but okay i fucked up but here's the thing the guy to tonight's show is like yo what's with the character what's with the beer in there and my manager at the time said no that's who he is that's who he and by the way a lot of those times where people saw me drink too much uh would would have been up in the bay area where i had a wild wild following and i i could go on the bennett show and then say hey i'll be playing uh at a sewer on uh ninth and irving yeah and there'd be 300 people show up in that sewer yeah and and then the other thing was it got too crazy and i knew it wasn't going to last and i and i didn't have you know i'm a humble guy i'm a nice guy i like to see everybody having fun it was a lot of fun yeah you know now here's

what's interesting in 85 i did comedy day in the park 40 000 people there i've got this video man it's kind of sad because warren's standing right next to me and uh and he's passed and he's passed yeah he had a lot of yeah a lot of demons you know but um doug keogh's introducing me 40 000 people in golden gate park for the free comedy show on a sunday afternoon and uh uh go, that's the next gentleman. And the whole crowd is chanting, Rube, Rube. You know, it's like they're not booing. They're saying, get off the stage.

Get Rube on there. Yeah. They're going, Rube. And you can see Warren's there. They love you, man. Rube. So I go out and I dressed a homemade thing dressed like a pink poodle i had a white overalls now this is the weird thing i took cotton balls and sprayed them with pink uh

can of spray spray paint and glued them so now i got spray paint and glue now i had built this homemade frame out of wood and uh and uh two heavy poles that you get like at Home Depot. And then from it, I hung out of, you know, that type of piping that you find under a sink so it bends. Yeah, yeah. It makes a circle. I made a circle, hung it to this thing. Then I took bath towels, chicken wired it, soaked them in lighter fluid. And in the park, I practiced jumpingired it, soaked them in lighter fluid.

And in the park, I practiced jumping through it, not lighting it up, so I had one chance to get it right. And it's bringing tears to my eyes. Yeah. I had one chance to get it right, and I go flying through this hoop, big stage, and I couldn't see anything because there was way too much lighter fluid.

Yeah. And I'm a human torch ready to go up, and I go through there the bottom part it burned off as i jumped through and the thing lands on me and now my costume's on fire so two guys with um uh what do you call fire extinguishers come in it's that white stuff so they just kept spraying spraying and i'm reaching my hand because what that white stuff does is suck oxygen out of the immediate area so i stood up and i couldn't breathe you know and i was standing around and i had to go out finish the set which i did it 40 000 people saw that happen 40 000 people saw it happen on the next year but i

want to make a point to that but let me tell you next year i'm sitting backstage i'm just going to go out and do a set but i'm kind of bummed i wanted to do something big yeah because the whole point of that was why would you do something like that you know which was later uh expanded upon by jackass right yeah well anyhow um i'm sitting backstage and i don't have anything to do my friend's little girl's about three years old she's hanging around and i said to my friend can i borrow your daughter daughter? She goes, yeah, sure. And I had a funny idea, and I took a tablecloth off one of those banquet tables, tied it around my neck like a sling, and I put her on it. And she was dressed in her Sunday best with patent leather shoes, little doily socks, cute as a button.

And I sit her there. So basically, she's blocking my chest. So I walk out on stage after they introduce me and uh I'm doing throwaway jokes on purpose like I'm really nervous and then I go folks uh I hate to bring this up on such a beautiful day like today but uh all week long I received several death threats uh warning me not to come out here today but let me tell you something I love you people and nothing was going to keep me from coming out here of course you know I'm not taking any chances there was like three seconds of nothing now before I walked out people said you can't do that they're going to hate that three seconds of

nothing and then seven minute laugh the longest laugh i ever had because it spread over 40 000 it was fun my point was when you do stand up for two years and they're already 40 000 people chanting rube that's like walking on the moon in your first two years yeah knowing it's not real. I never had an ego. I never had an asshole. A lot of people didn't understand me. Some people were afraid of me because they'd go into a bar and they'd say, I saw you, man. There were like 18 empty shot glasses in front of you.

Oh, no, I was just building a mystique. I actually went around the bar and collected them and sat behind them. You did? No. No, I drank them. You had a good time. Yeah, and see, I wanted it to continue to be

a good time. And you know what? Even like in the green room, I always remember it's just like, everybody, and I would get stuff for everybody. You need some chicken wings, you need some, you need something to drink. And then if I heard my name introduced, I'll be right back right back i just gotta go do this thing so you the the thing was like at that time in san francisco with bobcat and some of the other people like you know acts that that had

balls like that and that was unique and they just loved it it was that time it was that time and so you got caught up in this shit right but interesting that you said that because we were aware. The reason we loved it is that we were aware it was that time. Like one time, I'm on stage at the Walnut Creek Punchline, and I knew one thing, take advantage of this. Look, at the time, if I got a Letterman spot, I wouldn't have been pulling any of this stuff. And by the way, even in those days,

you know those auditions you do where you actually get to do stand-up in a club? Yeah. Instead of going into a studio and trying to read. Well, I always figured, you know, I always knew back then, I go, just because you're good doesn't mean they're going to pick you. But make sure you're great that night, man. Walk off saying, well, I did my part. Nine out of ten of those, I did that.

Yeah. Once I didn't. And that was a Saturdayurday night live one man it was like i was gonna get in there as a writer and they say oh they're having a rare middle of the season audition you got to go to new york and do it and uh uh jay moore uh the guy that used to do the news what's that guy funny guy norm got picked uh a lot of great guys got picked that night. And you were, where did it happen? Was it Comic Strip?

Yeah, and what happened? Well, the show wasn't going to start until everybody got there, which is Lorne and... Marcy. Yeah, and the head writer at the time. Downey. Jim Downey, yeah. Well, they didn't get there till late,

so it's like, oh, already you got a dead crowd. Then you had to pick out of a hat, and I picked nine out of ninth. So there was just basically them and three people left when I had to go up. Wow. And I could see, like, guys with wooden legs rounding third, trying to think they're going to be safe.

You know, just the umpire going, I mean, the whole thing was disastrous disastrous it was so hard to get i cried when it was over i cried what'd you do up there i bombed i bombed man that was the 10 uh 9 out of 10 and twice you know for montreal comedy festival took the house down and what's with that character and the and the boots and the yeah Jesus God man can't a guy wear boots so you yeah that didn't happen then you wear shirts when you perform I do you know nobody's complaining about that well you've mentioned mania shirts what about that are you are you bipolar guy oh yeah yeah yeah and uh a lot of us are becoming extinct in the city because the ice caps are melting you know sure and um i uh twice i did

a show and doctors came out to me and they said uh this is two different times not you know like back to back this is probably, six years in between. A doctor would come up and say, you need to see me. You need to come in my office and see me. I go, yeah, why's that? It's obvious you're suffering from bipolar mania. And my response always was,

would you like me to sign something for you? And then the second one, she did want me to sign something for you you know and then the second one she did want me to sign something yeah you know i was in stay away camp you know you went in three days nature films for three straight days i came out feeling pretty calm you don't need the pills man just watch nature films and uh you checked in for a few days i was tricked into checking in because of the same thing man you know uh yeah but uh that didn't help me you know like i said you watch nature films for three days and actually come out there thinking hey you know what there's not one nature film that's scored by big band music yeah that's all you get yeah but you still feel like oh hi yeah i'm gonna do a show this show's gonna last seven maybe eight days yeah it's a lot of fun i still have my general enthusiasm

for the whole thing you never got you never got on medicine i did yeah how'd that work it never worked yeah it never worked um and then what i would do was when um i hurt my career because i was making enough money like in one show yeah where i could go hide for another three or four weeks and see i didn't want to i'd heard about the crazy things people do on mania i was afraid i might do that although you know what to be honest with you i was never actually afraid i was just too thin-skinned at the time and then when you go down you're so depressed and basically i can remember should we talk about this stuff or is it is it too boring no it's great okay so uh we uh i remember sitting on my couch like this uh here let me get closer to the mic. I'm sitting on my couch going,

oh, my arms, and this shoulder weighed 850 pounds. This is when you were down. Yeah, this shoulder weighed another 850. Could barely get finger movement. I look over, I go, hey. I tried to point, too. I couldn't even get my finger up. I go, whoa!

Those are my books. Oh, my favorite books. books no i can't read those hey look look at all the music i have well i can't listen to that well i've got a tv i've got a dvd player and i could watch a movie no i couldn't you know that's what it's like that's what it's like so what happened how long would those last uh those could last up to two years you know really oh yeah between mania yeah two years fuck and what happened was i'd say it took away 10 11 years of my life and i was left alone and then but the thing i did a good job of hiding it yeah um uh because the the the larger than life type of character the old rube thing

yeah that was not intended for hiding something like that you know when i did that back and started to do that it was just fun and natural yeah and i told you the reasons yeah i was making some friends laugh number one sitting hanging around with Bobcat going, you know what would be funny? A guy who thinks. It's also your style. You knew what your style was. Right. It always worked as my style.

And I still do it to some degree, but with new material. Yeah. So how did you hide the sadness? Well, I just hold up. I hold up. And then the next thing you knew uh i was homeless you know i lost my apartment and um you know it's just and then you couldn't enjoy anything so how the hell you're going to generate new material

yeah see that really worried me and then your your family goes oh he's turned his back on us yeah and um you know it's a it's a if i was in a full body cast in the hospital yeah somebody from my family might come in and go there's something wrong what happened were you in an accident you sick that's such a rough thing about growing up with doctors man right right yeah my right. Yeah. My dad, man, he'd never go to a doctor. Yeah. One time I was back there when I was still in Arizona, and I was in a hotel room. I walked into a hotel room and his mom were in,

and him and my mom were in this hotel room. And my dad's like beating on his leg, and my mom's looking at me like... And then he realized that we're both looking at him and he immediately went into the Charleston died the fact that and then uh what was wrong with his leg a week later he collapses in the

shower fortunately I was home I dragged him out we called the ambulance immediate surgery they took out a tumor pressing on his spine it was fortunately benign which you hey that's going to be my new musical what the fuck happened to my family yeah but had it gone on for much longer maybe if he didn't even get to the hospital when he did that day he'd have been paralyzed from the waist down

holy shit so just don't go to the doctor so how do you so where are you at now with it you know bobby i mean you're living in this uh sro is that where you're living oh i'd love to get back to sro they used to do that at the punchline man i eat three shows a night sro standing room only show talk s o sr single room single room occupancy oh that's Well, what are you doing about the illness? Well, I'm under wonderful treatment. You know, I should have known this because I went into, this is years ago, man. I walked into the mental health care clinic and, you know, it's the only building in this town where I ever walked into and they said, you're perfect. And you know what?

Yeah. They're helping me a lot. They know what? Yeah. They're helping me a lot. They are now? Yeah. That's good. I feel real good. Good. And prior to going there, I was fighting it on my own,

and I had my good moments. Some bad years, though. Well, 10 years of my life was taken away. So I'm trying to build an audience again. I started a web thing. I don't want to get too technical about it. Go ahead, man. Well, I've got a show called Bananaland. Okay.

And it's at bananaland.tv. Okay. And you could download everything there to play on your different iPods and all that, but it's not on iTunes. It's just silly. Nobody should do what you do because nobody does it better than you, and I'm certainly not going to do it.

Yeah. I appreciate that. No, it's true, man. Seriously. It's true. It's so easy. I could talk for hours and hours here. Are you doing stand-up too?

Oh, yeah. No, I've never stopped doing stand-up, and I always worked on new material and all that. I'm the only guy that you could think of, as far as your generation, my generation, a generation just a half inch before us, a generation a half inch after us, that's never done a late-night chat show. Yeah. And, like, Billy Connolly, you know, I was in a movie with him, and I ran into him after a performance,

and I'm like, hey, Billy. Oh, I was with a friend of mine, and I had a TV set, like a four and a half minute set on a DVD. I was with my friend Elena, because I'm like, I'm going to schmooze. This would have been my, it was a 20-year mark. So I said, you know, I'm not here to not work and get things done. Once every 20 years, I will schmooze yeah and I went up to bill it and was it gonna do it she's like oh Bob has yeah

so I hate to do this Dustin Hoffman was standing right next to him you know and it's reception and then hey do you think you could get this to Craig Ferguson and help me get on the show man he's He's like, sure, Rube, no problem. And then a half hour later when I'm walking out, he stops me and he goes, Rube, I'm going to put in a good word for you big time. But I don't think that he did or they hate me. But, you know, I'm going to try to get – well, I'd like to do Conan or Ferguson. I'm just not sure the path to take.

I'm not represented by anybody right now i'm working on a book which is fun and so i'm going to try to just build my online good man yeah and i got some folk a lot of fans from the boondock saints movie i was in they're already up on the internet stuff what was that movie well in 1999 they put this movie i called the boondock saints it's about these two vigilante brothers that clean up crime in Boston. Great movie. But when it was about to be released, it was when the Columbine shooting happened.

So it got blackballed. Well, the producer ends up at some point later getting it into Blockbuster. And then it just becomes a word of mouth wild hit. To this day, it's in the top 20 of most rented DVDs. You know, along there was Star Wars and all that. And you got a lead in that? No, I did the sequel. Okay.

And I had a funny character, but a gangster. Yeah. And I'm the only gangster that lived in two, out of the two movies. Oh, good. So, but I had a gangster and a crazed meth i did a movie with sonny barger yeah sonny barger and the hell's angels they're getting into the movie business now oh yeah yeah man yeah if people listen if they would just go to santa remember you from the old days

from san francisco oh yeah he tried to he tried to like you know go he goes hey why don't you go get me a canary why don't you get me a canary

like hey those days were long ago Mr. Barger oh okay sorry Rube shut up and go get me a canary I think that's the

best way to end this I can think of I had a lot of fun thanks buddy alright folks that's our show The Rube this I can think of. I had a lot of fun. Thanks, buddy. Alright, folks. That's our show, The Rube. I'm glad he's holding up and he's doing okay and he's back on top of stuff. It was great to talk to Bob Rubin.

Go look him up. See what he used to be. See what he is now. Go to WTFpod.com. Get some merch for your holidays. I'm all jacked up, man. I'm going to go get a haircut, and I'm glad Monkey's doing better. I'm just going to keep hydrating him with wet food, and I'm going to add water to the wet food.

I'm going to make sure his water is clean, and I'm going to give him love, and I'm going to try to hide my anxiety. Okay? That's what I'm going to do. Thank you all for coming to the Trippany House shows. I'm going to do more. I'll let you's what I'm going to do. Thank you all for coming to the Triffany House shows. I'm going to do more.

I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I don't think they're up on the website yet. I'll tell you that on Monday. Thank you. Thank you. so so I was completely unplanned. It felt a little scattered. I was in the moment, though.

I lost my confidence for just a couple of chords. Oh, Boomer lives! You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability

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