WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 576 - Live From the LA Podfest Whitney Cummings / Shelby Fero / Pamela Adlon / Desi Jedeikin / Amber Preston

Episode Date: February 11, 2015

Live from the LA Podfest, Whitney Cummings deals with codependency, Shelby Fero reckons with being a black sheep, Pamela Adlon doesn't understand why nipples aren't allowed on TV, Desi Jedeikin tries to explain what her tweets mean, and Amber Preston surveys the wreckage of a breakup. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Lock the gates! Oh my god! Thank you for coming out! Alright, you can fade that music all the way out now. Just get rid of that shit.

What's happening? Let's open strong. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Okay, okay. I'm thrilled to be here. It is my birthday. I will say that. Oh, shit. What is happening? What is happening?

What is happening? You were so mad at me For not introducing the show You were fucking screaming at my wife And you were like Where the fuck is Dave? And flipping out I was doing that

And your friend Your friend Dave Was getting you birthday cupcakes. Yeah, I decide myself. This is so out of character for you. Oh, no, trust me. This was the most horrifying, heart-wrenching thing I've done in years. This was like hugging my dad. It's fucking horrific.

I hate everything about this. So who do I thank? You or your wife for making me? No, my wife had nothing to do with this. This is all hugging my dad. It's fucking horrific. I hate everything about this. So who do I thank? You or your wife for making... No, my wife had nothing to do with this. This is all my call, so fuck off.

Okay, let's back up. Let's go from where you said you were getting me my birthday cake. I'm going to try it again. Do I get a do-over? Yeah. That's really sweet, man.

Thanks. I appreciate it. Hey, thanks, buddy. Happy birthday. All right, have a good show. I appreciate it. Hey, thanks, buddy. Happy birthday. All right. Have a good show. I'm going to be in the, probably be a little more fun, but I'll be over in the other show. Dave Anthony, ladies and gentlemen.

All right. So what's going on? I'm 51 years old. I don't acknowledge that on a day-to-day basis. Occasionally, I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and go, holy fuck, when did that happen? But aside from that, I don't see any difference between me now and when I was 25. So I'm in denial, not unlike my mother, who is 37.

So, but let's talk more about what's going to happen tonight. First of all, I do want to say that I am This weekend, my 15-year-old niece is in town And she came with me last night She's here tonight, it's my brother's daughter And I don't have children So it's very interesting for me to engage With a 15-year-old for three days

I think I'm doing a good job I'm a little insecure But I find the best treatment for insecurity around children is to buy them whatever they want. So that's what we're doing. I'm like, what is your shitty father not get you? Let me buy you that. If it's not alcohol or drugs, we're good. But if you need someone to do drugs or alcohol with safely, I might be up for it. I don't do them anymore, but if you want to have an adult just watching you and ruining your fucking high, I'm your guy. That would be so pathetic if I let my 15-year-old niece smoke weed in front of me and I just sat

there going, how's it feel? Still pretty good, right? I mean, I used to do it a lot, but I don't do it anymore, but it's good. Let me just smell it a little bit. Is it a little left over there? I used to do it a lot, but I don't do it anymore. Let me just smell it a little bit. Is there a little left over there? That would not be a good message. So this panel is going to be ladies. And I don't want you to think, like,

I guess Marin's making up for the lack of ladies on the show. I have as many ladies as I can on my show. I have as many ladies as I can handle in my life, generally. But, like, I'm excited about it because I find that as I get older and now that I'm 51 years old, I should probably learn more about women

and how to behave appropriately around them. We could just start the show. We have a big show. You know what? But first, I'm going to do something unorthodox

because I feel like I've not given you what you deserve in an opening segment. I will take some questions right now. Get on a mic. Take a question. What? What's up? Yeah, you. Hey. Is this on? Go ahead. Hey, my name is Chunky B. I met you last year at this particular festival in a different... You were a problem last year. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Actually, you and I got along. Okay. I want to say thank you for motivating me for my podcast. I did 32 episodes since the last time I saw you. Okay. And a couple weeks ago, I got 13,000 hits. Okay. That's supposed to be applause.

Okay. Okay, that's big for me. I don't want to put you on the spot right now because you motivated me to do a podcast, but I'm going to ask you right here in front of everybody, is there any chance you can get Aisha's phone number for me? Oh, yeah, sure, man. Yeah, I'll do that.

Just come up after the show. Yeah, absolutely. I'll give you her phone number. I'm Chungabee with one degree of Chungabee at Chungabee.tv. Mark, seriously. No. I adore everything you do. Thank you.

Thank you. And in response to everything you said, security, security. That was exciting. Maybe not a great idea to take questions. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Thank you. we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category,

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exclusively on Disney+. 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. My first guest is an amazing comedian. She's a close friend. She had a couple of shows on television that some people enjoyed. That's an honest intro.

Whitney Cummings, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Happy birthday. Thank you, Whitney. Hey, you're right in my face. I know.

This is a lot. How are you? How are you? This is good. Is it? Yeah. Good. Boundaries.

Do you think this isn't going well? This is going really well. Oh, good. Good. Thank you. That's all. Whitney Cummings, ladies and gentlemen. Bye, everybody.

No, I think it's good. I feel like you panicked and asked someone to ask you a question, but it's just going phenomenally well. Okay, so you've got the window into my psyche, and that's what happened. I panicked. I'm like, maybe we can improvise a little bit. Something will happen in the moment.

A lunatic got on to promote his podcast. Which, by the way, now I kind of want to go to his podcast, frankly. He's doing it in the hallway, if you'd like to. No, he's an all right guy. I think he disrupted the show last year. But it's really, but no, it's a tricky situation where you've got the guy that comes up to you and is sort of like, man, I fucking love you,

but I want you to die. You know, like, I don't know how to take that. Yeah, now you know what it's like to be a woman all the time. This is what I'm learning. Do you have to deal with that? Yeah, that's kind of the deal. Like what? I want to fuck you, but if you don't fuck me, I want you to die.

But I love your show. Does that happen? I don't hear that a lot. But I do. Yeah, I think the guys view women as like, I either want to fuck you or kill you. Nothing in between. Right. I don't I don't know.

I like to think I'd like to understand and then yell. Oh, yeah. So there's. Yeah. I don't know. I'd like to think I'd like to understand and then yell. Oh, yeah? I'd like to try to understand, then get frustrated, blame myself, and then say, why the fuck would I do that? It's her fault. Do you feel like you've made some progress with understanding women recently? I've learned to just quiet down a little. Yeah.

Sometimes we just need to be heard. Sometimes we don't want to solve the problem. So, um... By the way, that's not what I sound like. That's what I hear. That's what I hear. It's like the Charlie Brown voice. I feel like I'm...

I like to think I'm a little more feminine than that. No, of course I'm listening to everything you're saying. And yeah, I'm learning how... Look, I'm getting course. I'm listening to everything you're saying. And yeah, I'm learning. Look, I'm getting old. I can't like I don't blame myself for everything, but I think I'm learning. I've known you for a long time. Yeah, I know. I there you have changed.

I have. Yeah. Her and I, the first time we worked together, I think was like what? Within months of my wife leaving me. Yes. Yes. And we were in La Jolla. You did not keep that a secret. Yes, I did not keep that a secret.

And we were working in La Jolla at the comedy store. And we were staying in that horrible condo. And I think it... Can you believe that we stayed in a condo together? No, I remember it very well because I think by the end of the week and I was like, why can't you just fuck me?

I mean, because I'm sad. Look at me. I need help. I know. Did it get that bad? Well, it's like, who can't you just fuck me? I mean, because I'm sad. Look at me. I need help. Did it get that bad? Well, it's like, who wants to fuck a sad guy? I think there's a few ladies in here that... He was much more sad back then. The guy whose podcast he just announced,

he's more than willing to fuck a sad guy. No, I think it was, but all you did was talk about your wife. And so it was kind of hard to... That sounds hot, man. I know, I think it was, but all you did was talk about your wife. And so it was kind of hard. That sounds hot, man. I know. I did kind of want to like beat her in terms of getting attention. I've got game, man.

Yeah. Here's my opening line. Fuck her. Am I right? Am I right? Yeah. Like you would do it. You're like, cause we did shows.

We were doing standup. So you would do both shows like two hours just talking about her. And then you're like, Hey, will you fuck me fuck me i'm like i don't feel special this feels terrible i don't think i think you helped me out i don't think i came on that run as i recall we went through a run we went jogging we went to the health food we ran from our demons we ran from from our demons we did we took a jog on the beach and we went it was intense i remember being intense because i was still talking there's not still talking. The sad guy running. That's not the best running partner.

It's like, no, I think I feel good. I'm not even thinking about it. Oh, now I am. And then, yeah, we went to a health food store. And you lived your delusional sort of... I did. I was in a lot of denial back then. I was very lost back then.

And another thing that you did that I remember that I loved so much is that you were on stage one night, which is such a testament to how much comedians need to do stand-up. Like, you guys think that this is, like, fun for us. It's not fun. There's nothing fun about this. Don't tell them we enjoy our jobs. And it was like, you had been doing a show. The show was at 10.30. The second

shows are really late down there. And you had done, like, two hours. And you told the audience, if you want to go home, go ahead. But I'm going to keep going. And some people were like, okay, some people did leave. They gave us a yell. And then you just kept going

for like another hour. I think that's some weird fantasy I have. And I've talked about it on stage sometimes where I just wanted to get to the point where people are like, I don't know if he's going to stop. And it's like, we're beyond funny now. We're into something else.

It does become like this sort of witnessing this portrait of insanity. Does he need us or do we need him? But I think I really, I just wanted it to get to where everybody leaves and there's only like the two nicest people left. Or most codependent people. Right, exactly.

And then I just go, get the fuck out. And then I don't fucking respect you. What kind of asshole waits here? Why would you stay this long, freaks? Yeah, I remember just loving that so much. Those days are over, though. I feel I want nothing more than for people just to stay through all my bullshit.

But that's not even true. The other night, I did an hour and a half, and I thought, I'm boring myself. I said that out loud. I like your now where you do like your inner monologue or like your guy who's watching you yeah the reviewer comment on your own stand-up the inner blogger who's reviewing the show as it's going on i love that so much mary thinks the podcast is going pretty well

but there's part of them that still thinks it's not going well at all because the people aren't really engaged or they're waiting for something. But Whitney's doing a really good job. I hope Mark has some questions for her or is able to get a few laughs during her time up there. I don't know what the fuck's going to happen more later. That's my favorite part. More later.

That's my favorite. So what are you doing? Good segue. How did you... But no, I have a lot of respect for the fact that you're out there, you're fucking doing stand-up every night, you're working your ass off. It's hard to have a show get canceled, and it's hard to have two... You know I still have one on, though, right?

But no, I know you're the producer, but clearly that's not enough for you to go like, I don't need to fucking do stand-up. So there's some party that's driven, but like in terms of when, when, when Whitney got canceled, I mean, what did you, what did you go right back out and start yelling about it? Yeah. I mean, I think that like, I mean, you, you do a show and simultaneously do standup, right? It's like, I think that standup is like our, my, at least my number one thing.

I think a lot of people now do standup to try to get something else. That's not, that's not my thing. They were always those people. Yeah. They're horrible. See, that's not... Stand-up to me was the goal. Being a working stand-up to be able to pay my bills doing stand-up was all I ever wanted. And then this other stuff happened, which was great. I couldn't... I had no... I was a

kid. I had no idea what the fuck was going on. And then so I really missed doing stand-up. Well, I kind of went insane. I realized how... How didup. Well, I kind of went insane. Yeah. I realized how... How did that manifest itself, Whitney? It was you... I mean, I guess I didn't see you at all for like a couple years. No, I wrote...

I was like, she's got to deal with it. It's like when a mafia person goes to prison. They're on their own. I remember doing your podcast right before all the shows got picked up. Yeah, when you're all full of hope. Yeah. That's exactly what's happened. You were like, you think this is going to work out? I was like, no, Mark, I'm, when you're all full of hope. Yeah, that's exactly what's happened. You were like,

you think this is going to work out? I was like, no, Mark, I'm going to make it. But it did work out. You're making money while you sleep now. Yeah, no, I mean, I don't, people think I have,

I don't have that much money. I mean, I tour to make money. That's okay, you can have money. I don't, I mean. You don't have to undersell it. I don't, I mean, I don't, I tour to make money. I have a very expensive family.

I have to take care of my family. You do? Yeah, yeah. I'm like a basketball player or something. Like have a very expensive family. I have to take care of my family. You do? Yeah. I'm like a basketball player or something. Like all my family Yeah. Thank you. That's what got them. I did Yes, I did have to buy someone a car.

Yes, I did. This is what's so fucking amazing is that I grew up poor, okay? And my family has always been poor and then all of a sudden I think that people think when you get on TV that you automatically have like 20 million dollars. Not true. Not true., I think that people think when you get on TV that you automatically have like $20 million. Not true. Not true.

But I think that that's people's perception. And so my sister who like, we've always been poor as soon as I was like, okay, I guess I, you know, I need to get you a car. I moved her to Los Angeles.

She's sending me links to BMWs and Mercedes. We've never had my birthday's coming up today. Yeah. I'm like, you can look at fucking look where I'll get you a Camry. You're not gonna get a Hummer, you asshole. People get entitled for you in a weird way. And what'd you get her?

I got her a Camry, a white Camry. It's a beautiful car. It's beautiful. And what'd she say? After she wrecked it or before she wrecked it. She wrecked it on Fairfax and Melrose. So if any of you were involved in that, fuck you. How soon after are you getting it for her?

She wrecked it. A couple weeks. Yeah, yeah. That's a no good deed goes on, you know. Codependence breeds resentment. You know that. We talk a lot about codependence. Yeah. You and me. Yes, we do. And I don't know if a lot of people understand it exactly.

I think it's a tricky term. I think it's thrown around. I think a lot of people, I think codependence in its like prosaic term, like colloquial sense, is like just means that you're like not independent, you're codependent. Whereas codependent really means that you put other people's needs before your own. Right. To your own detriment. And then it makes you start to hate them.

Yeah. And yourself. Yeah. And yourself. Yeah, and yourself. Yeah, I've had that happen. Here's what I've noticed about myself. Here's how my codependency works, is that I will let myself, I will bend over backwards to try to accommodate

whoever I'm with, all the time. And then when it's not received the way I think it's received, then I get angry, which is where I came up with the concept of the alpha doormat. I am an alpha doormat, which is basically like, whatever you need, whatever you need, whatever you need,

I don't feel like you're really appreciating me. You fuck you. Fuck you. That's the alpha doormat. I didn't ask for any of those things. I don't give a fuck. I'm trying to make you happy. Okay, but I didn't, I said thank you.

What do you want? Oh, it's not enough. Is that what you're saying? No, it is enough. I said it was enough. Then why don't you act like it's enough? What do you want? How?

You want me to suck your dick again? Yeah. Like, I don't know. As someone who does that, it's like being pathologically thoughtful. You're pathologically thoughtful, right? I love the way that sounds sounds I'm going to write that down pathologically thoughtful yeah I love this little by the way my favorite

thing I love that you guys get to see him do this live because my favorite thing about when you do your podcast or your stand up is even when you're killing and doing so well and you're talking and if you're listening I don't know what to tell you sorry you go like this and you like push into your forehead like it's you get so and do you know what I'm talking about this thing that you. Sorry. You go like this. Yeah. And you like push into your forehead.

Like it's, you get so, and do you know what I'm talking about? This thing that you do, like you have a migraine all the time. I'll tell you exactly what's going on. Let's engage the blogger. All right, now Marin wants to disappear. And he thinks that if he does this,

no one's watching. And he's all alone in his special space. Because he just needs a second. He just needs a second. Because everything's gotten emotionally draining for him. Hey, you guys. You think you're like an ostrich or something? No, there's part of me that thinks like,

they can't see me now because I have my hand on my face. No. So, okay. There's one thing I wanted to do with everybody up here because you're women. Uh-oh. I have a 15-year-old niece who's, you know, she's looking down the barrel.

Is she in here right now? Oh, God. She's looking down the barrel of life. Yeah. 15 years old. Yeah. What were you doing, and how did it work? When I was 15? Yeah. Oh, God. I had the funny version or the real version? Do you want a bit? Let's go back

and forth. Let's mix it up a little bit. Okay, I'll do the truth. You do the bit part. Okay. I, oh God, I'm trying to make this sound less dark. My parents... No, because it's a success story

because you're here now. I made it. I'm on, I'm at Talky Tell. Right, you made it out of whatever's about, whatever's about to happen right now. We did it. Yeah, okay. When I was 15, I was unconscious.

I had no idea what was happening. I mean, metaphorically speaking. I was not in a coma or anything. That would have been a horrible story. I was disassociated. My parents were failures as parents. And so I was sort of very alone when I was 15. I had an eating disorder when I was 15 i had a eating disorder

when i was 15 yeah what kind uh just anorexic okay i think that's what you call just starving myself yeah um i like the people laughing it's good that's smart um i was just like a mess i think i was trying to like hide yeah it was just before drugs was around then a little earlier than then my sister started doing drugs really young but i wasn't good at drugs like i was like i'm such a again people pleaser i was just trying to take care of everybody i literally would be on what they called the guide yeah totally i'm the one that was like guarding i was like how are you okay are you hallucinating i'll be over here you guys need fluids i was trying to take care of everyone Okay so it was bad I mean it was everyone's got their shit

You know but I had no idea what the fuck I was playing basketball I was very serious About playing basketball when I was 15 And what was it Where was the moment where you're like alright Everything's gonna work out That moment hasn't come yet Whitney Cummings ladies and gentlemen

Thank you My next guest Made her break I think she was Like a child Living at her parents house Is that true? Kinda?

No? Shelby? Like how old were you When he came Moved up here? Oh my god And now she's a writer And she's a genius

On Twitter And she's a comedian Please welcome Shelby Farrow To the stage. I need to know your story. I don't know it. Okay, here's how I'm going to set up the first question. Are you happy? Welcome. Welcome to the show. Am I making people uncomfortable? Are you comfortable? No, no, no. I just didn't know I was going to get to sit so close. Well, here you are. How does it feel? It feels really good. It's weird, right?

It's not draining. It's okay. Not too intense. All of a sudden you were on, on Twitter and everybody was like this, this girl's like a genius, right? Uh, yeah. They didn't say that to me. Right. But you're hilarious. And like, and then what happened? Because I know that you're like, you're on Twitter and everyone loved you. But were you living at home? Yeah, I was a child. Of course I was living at home. I was 15.

And you were getting attention from all these weird comedy men. No, no. I mean, before I even joined Twitter or whatever, I was writing for, I don't know, dearycrack.com? Yeah. I wrote for them for like a year and a half before anything else. When you were 16? When I was 15. Oh, my God. And then that's what i was doing and i was writing for like e how i don't know i was just doing stuff like that sort of just for fun i was doing stand-up i didn't like i didn't

like things at 15 you were doing stand-up i did i did open mics up in san francisco i wasn't doing well and then uh and then i got on twitter like senior or whatever, and it was just to keep up with my friends who had graduated and keep each other laughing. And people liked it. And then I was writing for stuff the whole time, and I got pretty lucky. I got a job pretty quickly when I came out here. I came down here for college, realistically.

Now, the clarity of your answer... See, now, like this... Okay, so this is like, well, okay, so this is good for my 15-year-old niece. So at 15, you already knew you wanted to be a comedy writer. Yeah. And you just started doing it. Yeah.

And you got work. Mm-hmm. It's fucking amazing. Sure, but, yeah, but I think that there's a lot of, I mean, this isn't funny, but I think there's a lot of other parts of my life that either may have suffered or I wasn't as mature in. So it's not, I don't think that's that impressive. I've been working since I was like old and since I was 12.

Since I was old enough to camp council and coach swim team, I started doing it. I just like working. I don't think that's impressive. But being a camp counselor makes more sense. You know, writing comedy. So you were a camp counselor and then you were a swim coach i used to swim is that what we're gonna bond over jesus what yeah maybe i had a b time in breaststroke i was bad at breaststroke you were how could you be bad that one's like easiest one. It's a lot has to do with like if your body

can physically hit your feet together. This isn't interesting. It's very interesting to me. How's your fly? It's really good. I did the 200 IM. You can butterfly really well for more than like four strokes? Not anymore probably. I'm very impressive for four strokes of butterfly. Like if I'm

in a pool, I'll always knock those out. Just like boom. Just to show everyone who's boss knock those out. Just like, boom. Just to show everyone who's boss at the community center? Yeah. And then I'll just be like, that's all I can do right now because it's too fucking good. Let's get out.

All right, so now where are you writing? Well, I just finished up. I'm unemployed. I just finished up at this new Paul Feig show for Yahoo. Yeah? And then, so yeah. And you're just writing jokes.

You wrote for Hardwick too? Yeah. I show for Yahoo. Yeah. And then, uh, so yeah. And you're just writing jokes. You wrote for Hardwick too? Yeah. Uh, I wrote for at midnight. I wrote for this cartoon on FX that was swiftly canceled after a season. I don't really write jokes though. I, it's scripted.

It's 30 minutes, single cam. How does that work? You just do like ideas. It's improvised. Uh, for a TV show or for like, wait,

no, like you said, you didn't write jokes. So what do you write for them? I mean, you break stories and you write scripts. You have a show. I do. Do you know the processes?

So how old were you when you first did stand-up? That might have been 16. That was my junior year of 16. And you just do like an open mic? What do you do? Did you just eat a candle? No. No, no, it's just lozenges.

This is just bullshit. No one's going to fucking eat these with me. I'll have one. So, okay. So where'd you go on first? The brainwash up in San Francisco. The fucking laundromat? Yeah.

Yeah, it's really nice. Yeah, it's very pleasant. People nostalgic for a very difficult alt comedy gig. I remember when I lived up there, you're like, you want to do the laundromat? It's like, no, I don't fucking want to do the laundromat. It's pretty tight, man. Is it tight? Yeah, it's pretty nice.

It's like a cafe laundromat. Yeah. Obviously. Obviously. And were you doing straight up jokes? No. No, they were like, I mean, yes, they were jokes, but they weren't like one liners. I've never wanted to be a one-liner comedian.

In your long career as a stand-up? Look, I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. Oh, Jesus. No, they weren't good, though. I definitely started, I was so, so lucky that I got to do the shows I got to do right when I moved down here. Because I think if I had to do open mics in LA, I would have never fucking done Stand Up. But when Crack Tired, were they like,

well, you're exactly the age we're trying to appeal to. 15-year-old girls? Yeah. No, well, they don't, they have like an open submissions process in their forums where you like pitch ideas and then they like the idea, they accept it and then they edit, I don't know. And then you write it. So it's just like a editorial process that anyone can do.

Anybody. They're really great guys. Um, I'm trying to shill for them, I guess. Yeah. They're really nice. I'm so sorry. Did you graduate high school? Yeah, I did. Thank fucking God. Why? You don't need to. So you're just like, fuck college. You already are on your way. No, I actually, I mean, I moved down here ostensibly to go to film school at USC. And then I dropped out of that. You dropped out of film school? Yeah.

It's so expensive. It's so expensive? So dumb. But isn't part of you like, you know, I better, you know, I better go to school and get a degree just in case. Being a stand-up comic is some ridiculous pipe dream and it's going to become dark and fucked up no no i'm pretty confident in the choices i've made in life no i uh this is by the way this is the fucking new generation of this is this is this generation fucking confident i can do anything i can live my dreams. I'm talented. My generation has no self-esteem.

Oh my god, I love that you think I have self-esteem. You do. You think you can make it. Good for you. I still don't think that. I think I'm lucky that I was wanting to write. I don't want it. I'm the fucking person you guys hate. I don't want to do stand-up for a living. He hates everyone living Why would I hate you?

I think that's a good choice It's smart Do you see what stand-up does to people? Look at me! Look at her! But it's which way around is it? Is it causation or correlation? No, my thing is

Look, if I If I have to go back to school, if everything doesn't work out and I have to go back money-wise, what I want to do-wise, et cetera, it means that I'm going to go back for an education degree or a biology degree. I will have been so far fallen from what I want to do with my life that I'll have so many more things to reckon with than four years of school. Like, that's how I think about it. Right.

So you're saying if things don't work out, you'll be like, fuck show business. I'm going to get, yeah. I mean, that's ostensibly what will have to happen. It's not like any job I'm trying to get, they're like, but where's that film school degree? Like, that's never going to happen. They're like, oh, you performed at a laundromat?

Perfect. Or how about that vague communications degree? What the fuck was that? You got one of those? Yeah. I know so many people are like, what is it? I think it used to be for phone switches. I'm not fucking kidding.

What? It used to be for what? I think it used to be for phone switches. This kid is a kid. I'm sorry. You're a grown man. I'm a judge. What do you mean for phone?

You're the youngest person in here besides his niece. For what? Like phone switches. What does that mean? Are you kidding me? In the 20s, a phone switch, a line had to be physically connected to the other line. That's why you would call the operator. Right.

Okay. All right. Fine. Fine. So you're saying that's what a communications degree is for. I love how fed up you are. She's like, God damn it, Maron. I don't have time for this shit.

I'm 20 years old. I have places to be. It was just short of like, what don't you get old, man? Totally. It was so close to that. Totally. It wasn't your time, but it was in the past. People should know about it.

I know what phone switching is. I didn't make the jump for the visual for the joke. I thought you were talking about some slang that I didn't understand. He said as an old man. Phone switching does sound like Ebonics if you don't know. Phone switching? Yeah.

Phone switching. So, okay, so the journey for you is just to be a writer, maybe write a movie and then sort of make bank and live here in Hollywood. Sure. Why not, man? Do you have brothers and sisters? Yeah.

How are they doing? They're doing very well. I have two older sisters and a little brother. And your parents? They're doing great. Mike and Katie are fantastic. And they're happy with your decisions in life? Not even the tiniest bit.

Could not be more upset. Really? Yeah. Like, what do they say to you? I mean, they don't say anything to me. Just to your sisters? Do something. Talk to her. Sure. I get very weirdly treated. Like, I'm the black sheep in my family. Oh, really? In a big way. Yeah? Yeah. You're the problem?

Mm-hmm. I don't feel that. I know. Me neither. That's a big problem What did your siblings end up doing? My oldest sister right now is in medical school She's a third year med student I know And then my other sister graduated

With a physics degree from Berkeley A physics degree from Berkeley? I know, again, I know And she is now Applying to grad school. She's working at a lab in the city. And then my little brother just turned 16. So he's doing, he's a boy.

What is he doing? Playing Mozart in his sleep? He's really good at water polo, and he's amazing at history. So it's not your fault. You've been bullied by the ambition of your siblings and their weird kind of of intellectual uh fortitude right i did i couldn't find a word um yeah yeah i what are you gonna do to compete with that what's the physics equivalent of a half hour comedy i really don't think i mean i could go

to the oscars and they'd be like whatever yeah they'd be like well your speech was a little half-assed i'd be like are you kidding me oh they're those kind of parents no no no that my parents aren't they're just throw them under the bus man this is where you do it no we just we're not like a very uh effusive family i would say is your dad an academic yeah he is yeah he has like a phd in physics and microbiology this sounds like a hilarious household i can see why you went into comedy. I mean, the physics conversation at the table must have been awesome. Well, it's super lucky. I think all the time, like, I was pretty

good at school, and I think that I could have done something with my life, but our family fought so much, and I was the only person who thought it was funny, or, like, would be the only person to be like, hey, things aren't so bad everybody.

Yeah, that's called denial. Exactly. What do they fight about? Like quantum theory? Our family fights insanely. Really?

Yeah, we'll go at it. Your father must, does he fight with your sister about physics? No, no, but we'll fight,

like we'll just have some dumb argument about semantics or yeah, like about bacteria or some stupid shit that doesn't really matter, and we could look up, and we'll just get off on a two-hour argument, like a real, we're arguing. I'll call my sister cunt ten times,

and then I hear it, and I'm like, oh, my God, Allie, let's go get donuts. What's happening here? You call your sister cunt ten times? Oh, we do it all the time. I mean, we're just... I'm a big fan of that word, but I apparently can't use it. I know.

I feel bad. I don't think I've learned it. You can't use that word. Am I? Is it like a... Is cunt allowed, Whitney? We can use it? No.

No? I don't. Here's the... I like the... It's just... I feel like it's a little played out. I'm pro-cunt. Okay.

I think it's more to me unoriginal. It's just not shocking anymore. What about for cunt? Oh, yeah. I don't think so. I think... But wait... But unoriginal. It's just not shocking anymore. What about for cunt? Oh, yeah. I don't think so. I think... But wait. But your dad calling you cunt?

No, no, no, no. It's no. That's a different story. That's... I'm interested now. I'm listening. I feel like... I like when you call men cunts.

I like calling men cunts. Yeah. That's actually... I like that. Yeah, I do too. You doing it, you... I feel like you can use that word because you mean it. I think a lot of people throw it around for just like shock value and it

loses. I only use it for Twitter trolls. I literally, it's almost exclusively for Twitter. I like seeing it written. When someone says it, it's just like, it's a little,

it's a little jar. Yeah. It's sometimes, but I like that. It's hard. I like the heart. Yeah. It's like the verbal version of a rock when you,

it's like when you throw a cunt at somebody. Yeah. Yeah. It hard stables. Yeah, it's like the verbal version of a rock. It's like when you throw a cunt at somebody. Yeah. It's game over. But I feel like people throw it around now and it doesn't have that same value at you. But see, I like that. I want it to be used the way in a colloquial sense. Yeah, kind of. Because I think I learned it very late

in life and I learned it past the point that swear words had not been fun anymore or powerful anymore. So when you're like 13 and you find out like I think it was fucking Elijah Schlesinger said it on Last Comic Standing or someone said it on Last Comic Standing. She said cunt on NBC?

Someone did and it was like a big deal. Ant was like, whoa, she went out of the gate with that. And I was like 14. Is she upset Ant with cunt? I'm scared that it wasn't Schlesinger. I'm scared it was someone else. And this is back press. Whoever it was.

I'm glad she got a rise out of aunt. Yeah. And then my mom was like, I don't want to tell you what it is. So it took two days of me going like, tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Yeah. Tell me.

And then finally she was like, oh, fine. It's cunt. And I was like, OK, whatever, man. Yeah. A fucking word? Cool. me and then finally she was like oh fine it's cunt and I was like okay whatever man a fucking word I think the message at this point is that we need to free the cunt for more casual engagement that you're saying that it would be nice to be able to go

like hey how are you cunts doing I like oh I think there's something interesting about you saying it because you're so smart that if you're used there's something surprising about you using it and funny maybe I don't think I actually have opinions on this i think i just didn't want to talk about do you have do you date do you date are you is it hard for guys to date you oh probably um i would not want to date you yeah it would be intimidating right i don't date i just there's no point i

you're 20 exactly what what I'm not gonna marry them damage do you have from guys none it's just like well if we date I'm I'm not gonna marry you you're not gonna marry me I'm 20 that would be goddamn bonkers insane and like I think that if a girl doesn't really push like we should be in a relationship, it doesn't get pushed, and I'm okay with that. So don't clap. Don't applaud for my emotional impotence. You're a cunt. But no, I don't know.

I don't like people. You don't like the idea of dating? No, I don't. Okay, fine. That's fine. Start early with your cynicism. Good. No, but she just doesn't want to call it that.

You know, this is that same thing. There's a confidence to it. You know what I mean? It's like if you're not dating, you're just sort of like, well, we're not dating, but we can hang out. And then you go away and I don't have to talk to you anymore. Yeah, it hasn't worked out great. Okay. I'm sorry, Shelby.

I hope it works out soon. No, things are really good. I'm sorry, Shelby. I hope it works out soon. No, things are really good. I think we should close on something big. So what job are you trying to get right now? I'm trying to... What do you want to write?

What would be a dream job? I'm trying to pitch stuff. Oh, are you? I hate it. You're going into the room with the guy? I like that you'll pitch, but you won't date. It's so much worse. I can only take

one type of judgment. At least they're not trying to... Fuck you. Jesus. What? Yeah, they are. They will. What the fuck are you talking about? Literally and figuratively. That's a thing? She got fucked hard twice. Just took her show right off the air. Twice. Right off the air.

I watched and I liked it. Whatever, man. No, I did too. I watched one or two and I enjoyed them. You did not even watch that one. I sure I watched it. Are you kidding? It was judgment time. Yeah, that must be fun. I would have loved your commentary on it.

Just you. Are you guys hiring? What? Nothing Shelby Farrell Ladies and gentlemen Come on It's my birthday I can fucking eat this

Do you want Do you want Anyone Do you want a piece of cupcake? No I actually I'm allergic to wheat You are? Yeah Are you really though Because I think that's Sort of a bullshit allergy No no Gluten's fine Do you want a piece of cupcake? No, I actually am allergic to wheat. You are? Yeah, I found out.

Are you really, though? Because I think that's sort of a bullshit allergy. No, no, gluten's fine. So I could buy wheat-free flour and then add gluten back to it if I wanted to. Do you have celiac? I don't have celiacs. Yeah. Okay, good.

And not a high note. It's great. This next woman is one of the funniest people ever, and she's been in show business a long time. You might know her as the voice of Bobby Hill. You might know her from her recent appearances on The Louis Show. Please welcome Pam Adlon to the stage. Happy birthday.

Thank you. So fucking good. I'm monitoring my daughter's Ubers and my 17-year-old just cock-blocked my 14-year-old's Uber. She's in Venice And my 17-year-old just cock-blocked my 14-year-old's Uber. What is that? What do you mean? And she's in Venice with, like, five skateboarders. So this is happening as it's unfolding now? I'm smelling the mic.

Pam. Smells good. Sorry. How are you? Hi. Nice to see you. Let's focus up. All right.

So are you good? Yes. you? Hi. Nice to see you. Let's focus up. All right. So, are you good? Yes. Yeah? Yeah. It's great. I can always be somewhere, and it's, like, stress-free. I'm sitting at the end of the thing, and, like, I'm writing, where are you?

Who's getting an Uber? Yeah. I was listening to you, and I feel very proud as the second oldest person in this fucking room. Fuck all of you. How long have you been in show business? Well, I grew up in it. You don't put your lips on it, right?

No. Who was just in here before? I don't know. They're relatively clean. I'm so OCD I prefer the rope, the cord under the table. But whatever. I grew up in it. My dad

was a writer, producer, and so I grew up on sound stages and I started acting when I was young. So you've been in this shit forever. Yeah. Was there ever times where you're like get me the fuck out um yeah

I mean when I've had to do like when it's when you're around people that you don't want to hang around when you have to when you have to work with people that you don't actually want to work with is when you go what the fuck am I doing this for?

Yeah. But all the rest of the time I've loved it my whole life. I, you know, I grew up in it. I watched my dad do it and I always knew that I wanted to be part of it. And I always like pretended to be like the guy running the show when I was like 11 years old and all of that.

I told you that. You were the precocious kid on the set? Yeah. What was the first role that you did though? Was it the TV stuff? I was probably, God, what was it? Maybe it was a Mexican pudding commercial that wasn't approved by the FDA. We had to do it in Spanish.

I wore the dress I wore to my brother's bar mitzvah in the commercial. We shot it at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. I was very excited. It was a banned pudding commercial? It was a Mexican pudding. But it was illegal somehow? Yeah, it was banned. It wasn't approved by the FDA.

So we had to do it in Spanish. It doesn't have to be approved if it's a vitamin. Or an herb, you mean. We are learning shit tonight. I know. I'm proud of Shelby. She's like one of my kids. So it was banned

because it wasn't approved by the FDA, but they were just going to sell it in Mexico? Yeah. They were like, fuck it. Let's just do it in Mexico. They won't care. So that was the first. Yeah.

And then later, I guess, significantly, I played the role of Angel, the Christy McNichol part, in the pilot of Little Darlings. Never aired. Silverman would appreciate that. But yeah, never aired. But I was Angel, a much coveted role

for all the butchy, Jewy, Italian-y, Mexican-y, girl, boy, women, men, people. And then my first movie role was,

I was Dolores in Grease 2, so, you know. Oh, wow. Yeah. Did you sing and dance? Yeah. We sang, we danced. Alan Carr made faggy jokes at me. I was in heaven.

I was in heaven. It was great. Tab Hunter was like knitting and needle pointing. Backstage? Yeah. It was like, it was crazy. He told me that Rosie Greer taught him how to needle point. It was amazing.

Like I was hanging out with all these 30 year olds. I was 14. I was like, dude, I was hanging out with all these 30-year-olds. I was 14. I was like, dude, whatever. Needlepointing men. Yeah. It was awesome. And then, like, but what was the big,

you were on Facts of Life? Was that the one? I was on Facts of Life. For a bunch of them, right? Yeah. Do people remember that from their childhood? I was obsessed with that show.

I totally was so excited when I got the part and then they fucking edged me out. They were like, we don't want new bitches in here. Why? What happened? I don't know. They just, you know, they were like a group. They were like a clicked out group. It's fine.

I don't care. Whatever. There was the Christian, the butchy one. And which one were you exactly I was the one who you know like they made I ended up going on and then

my character robbed Edna's edibles you don't even fucking know what I'm talking about it was on a block of shows I, that I would watch when I would fake sick. I'm like the I Dream of Jeannie of your world. I like that show too, man. That was on a block with Bewitched and Gil Gonzalo and I would watch that.

I didn't know until relatively recently that you did Bobby Hill's voice. And everybody loves that fucking show. How many of those did you end up doing? Like 200 of them? We did 13 seasons. I don't know how many episodes that was. That was a huge break. Was that a blast?

Yeah, it was amazing. My ex-husband still enjoys it very much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's still, uh-huh. Yeah. Fuck him, right? Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Fuck him very much, sir. Anyway, no, no. We're totally close. Anyway, but that was an amazing thing to get because like you know i do like i live in the animation world and so you know you you go in and you do like auditions for things and you never know what you're gonna get and then you know they like i did um we did a voice to like the animatic, like the pencil sketch. And I remember, and Greg Daniels said, I'm going to turn around. I don't want to offend you, but I have to look at the sketch and I don't want to look at you.

And I was like, I don't fucking care. Whatever. Yeah. And so I went through the whole process and then I got the part. And, you know, it was just a job. Like all the jobs that I was doing, which were fun. Like when I started doing like the,

the kids animation, like the Disney stuff, it was, it was this great job. And then I became a mom and I was like, Oh fuck, I'm doing all these things. My kids can watch.

This is awesome. And then I started doing King of the Hill and it's like primetime animation and they pre-sold the first season into syndication like that's where like all the money is and they got excited I mean nowhere near like the Simpsons juggernaut or whatever but we would

constantly get these scripts that were just unbelievable like I thought the writing was so good it was actually incredible, and it was all these fucking Jewish writers from Harvard writing for all these Texans and whatever, and just getting out their childhood and all their terrible things

and any abuse they lived through and whatever. Shelby, don't let this hold you back. I know. But it was, that was the best job. We loved doing that. We knew we were lucky.

Let's talk about Louis. Okay? You did, you were great on the original one The HBO one that was misunderstood I love that show Lucky Louie 30 No don't worry about it

Thank you very much I love you How many did you do of Lucky Louie 13 or what Yeah we only did 13 and then they took it away and then louis the survivor we waited almost a year though that's a season yeah we feel lucky we did it but we waited almost a year for them to tell us they were like the whole year they were like it's looking good and by the way that show was

flawless it was so good it was flawless well i think it it was because people didn't understand the conceit of it. Because when Louis explained it to me, the whole idea was like, we're going to do the Honeymooners on a set that, like the Honeymooners set, no frills, and it's just going to be filthy and honest. Yeah. And I don't think people, I think that most people watched it and said, why didn't they put any money into the set? And it was this whole idea that it was going to be retro.

Yeah, he didn't want it. He wanted it to be bare bones and the day we did the camera test they had every kind of film available and Gary Halverson, the director, he was like, you're not going to shoot this on video, right? You're just not going to leave me

hanging out to dry. Listen, I have a black wife. Everything's going to be fine. Everything's alternative. And we were like, what? Okay. And Louis was like, fuck you. We're shooting it on video. Don't put her in plaid. It looks like Roseanne. It's a brand new shirt. We want it to be real.

Take her pants off. But we loved it. I mean, it's like we did two shows a week and the audiences would scream and they would talk to us while we were doing the scenes. They were like, no, you didn't.

And we would be like, oh my God. Like we'd want to talk to them, but we're like, oh my God, we're doing a show. Wait, can you say how you did it? Just because he was talking about this last week. You did two shows as in you did two tapings a night. Yeah, we actually most multicams do not do that yeah we would we would start work on monday and we would have a show

taping for audience by thursday and then the next show friday and then we would we switched it i guess at the end to two shows on fridays i yeah and then you you was that the first time you work with louis how'd you get cast with that? Did you just read for him? He saw me in a show called Unscripted I did that Steven Soderbergh and Grant Heslov and George Clooney produced and

it was all improv. They would say, Grant was like, okay, Pammy, you're an actress and you fuck Nick Panessa and you're in the acting class and then you hook her up I'm like I'm married I have three kids he's like nobody needs to know that I'm like I don't get it okay I'll fuck Nick Panessa in a car whatever but it was like very experimental so he saw me in that and that's how we ended up doing like I auditioned for it like

everything else like King of the hill like and now and this last season of Louie you like had a big arc Yeah, yeah, there's nudity Louie's butt Yeah, he always takes the nudity hits he loves it I'm lucky Louie had to show his dick I don't know and the word Rick Shap. All the dick and balls was them, not me. Rick Shapiro would show his dick now. If you asked him to come in, he would gladly. Oh, 100%.

Yeah. But Louie, the funny thing about him showing his dick is he somehow thought in his mind that he was going to get away with it. It happened very quickly. Yeah. And within three minutes, it was on the internet. Just frozen. I know.

Louie's dick. Yeah. Was he, I wonder. He doesn't care. I know. He's like, I mean, in the bathtub scene, he's dick. Yeah. Was he, I wonder... He doesn't care. I know. He's like, I mean, in the bathtub scene, he's like, oh, I gotta bend over. I gotta get in the thing, whatever, but...

But it was literally his whole ass was like right there, right? Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, but you could have guessed. That's always my thing with nudity. I'm like, you can pretty much guess what anyone looks like naked. I did so many years of that on California Cages. It's like, you know, you just...

I did so many years of that. You kind of just go like this, you know. I don't know if I'm comfortable with it. I know. I've done my podcast nude. Have you done any nude stuff on your show? Have you had to they don't know we can't do it on ifc we can't do the full new thing so we you can't we can't do it on fx you

can't show nipples yeah i've showed my nipples i showed my nipples i showed my nipples but why can't you show women's nipples why can't you show like a tit yeah but you can say, like on California occasion, we used to like bleep out, like we used to do a free TV version of like the bad language. And you couldn't say like fuck or shit or whatever because it would be on an airplane or like at a church Sunday or some,

whatever the fuck they were for. But you could say bitch and whore and like anything that was derogatory against women, I'd be like, seriously, this is okay, but you can't say motherfucker? Whatever. So I don't know what to stand for. So are you working with Louis on the next season?

Yeah, I mean, that's not, we're not starting that until next year because he took a break and he's doing like a really short season. He's going to do like eight episodes or something like that. How much do you work with him when you're doing the, when you're putting together what's happening? Well, I help cast the whole thing and then we work on the whole season. And last season was great because Vernon Chapman and he and I got to work together a lot.

And then Stephen Wright came in and he was amazing to have around. He was just like. He's a very sweet guy. He loves to laugh, that guy. He's a sweetheart. Sweetheart. When I have him on my podcast. He's a fist bumper.

He wouldn't, he would, Stephen Wright, because when he would laugh, he would would hide his mouth and he would step back from the mic and i'm like no people need to know that you're human he doesn't want to touch the ring though oh but no but he just he didn't want people to hear him laugh and i was like you're like a normal guy i know he's so he's so sweet and gentle but i'm telling you like there's this free radio station called The Sound, and I listen to it when I drive my oldest daughter to school in the morning, and they play at quarter to the hour, they play a comedian.

Funnies? Yeah. And they were playing Stephen Wright in the morning. I was driving her to school, and she was fucking dying. And it was so amazing to hear her take in Stephen Wright it was awesome Pam Adlon ladies and gentlemen let's move down

my next guest I am I engaged with on Twitter and and it just never stopped. She's one of the filthiest tweeters and the funniest tweeters. It's all very specific. It's nasty shit. And I reached out to her, and I said, do you talk like a person? And we went out, and we had coffee. I'm like, I want you to come on the show. And she's like, yeah, I write with Laura Silverman. I'm like, I fucking know Laura Silverman.

So Laura Silverman's a writer. She's Sarah Silverman's sister. And I first met her when I was in college. And she was like really a cute, jappy girl. And had her hair flipped back and was wearing a parka. I remember Laura Silverman. But Desi is a writer. And she's here now.

Please welcome Desi Jettigan. a writer and she's here now. Please welcome Desi Jettigan. How are you? Hi. How are you? I'm excited you're here. I know, me too.

Because you're so dirty and like, but the weird thing is, do any of you follow her on Twitter? Any of you? Desi Jettigan? You should follow her because it's just nonstop alcohol and vagina and fucking jokes. In a positive way. Thank you. But when I talk to you when we're having coffee, you're like, well, it's kind of true. Well, because it is all based in truth.

Yeah. But it's slightly exaggerated. I mean, I'm not constantly calming. Not now? Yeah. But it's slightly exaggerated. I mean, I'm not constantly coming. Not now? Yeah, like if I was tweeting this, I'd be like, oh my God, I'm coming so hard. Mark Maron is talking to me on a panel. But I'm not actually coming. This guy is shaking his head.

He's like, ugh. No, but I think, like, what was it? The other night, I kind of freaked out because you brought up Skinner. And I'm like, fucking Skinnerd? I love Skinnerd. And then we had this big thing. Then Patton got involved. And then all of a sudden it became an international event.

I had like 8,000 notifications all of a sudden. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? And Patton had retweeted it or something. And then you got involved. What was the story again? The first time I was pissed on was at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. So I just tweeted that Friday night at Home Alone.

But what you told me when I hung out with you was like, that did happen. It did happen. It is true. It wasn't like sexual. I just got peed on by a concert goer. Was it like in the fun way? It wasn't like a good way. Not like now. It wasn't like a sexual thing?

No, it was just a random drunk guy and I went to move the string out of the way but it was actually a stream of urine. So he was just kind of sitting there

with his dick hanging out of his zipper pissing across the aisle and I was like, you know, 16. That was what I was doing at 16. You were moving urine

You were running your hand through streams of urine at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. Now, to me, I'm just going to put a couple of things together. You think the P is string, and there's a guy pissing publicly, and you're at a Skynyrd concert. See, I'm going to assume that you grew up in the South, and I'm going to assume, because for me,

I was just excited that you were at a Skynyrd concert. Yeah. But do you do you love Skinner no my mom went to high school with them so that's why how fucking great is that fuck all you judgmental people Leonard Skinner man Ronnie Van Zandt Gary Rossington Alan Collins Artemis Pyle Billy Powell Steve Gaines later and Ed King earlier. You know, I don't understand why they can't be elevated where they deserve. Why are you so judgmental? Well, the funny thing is, I remember when you first started following me on Twitter,

the first time you ever liked anything that I did was the Lynyrd Skynyrd tweet. And I just remembered because you liked it like one second after I posted it. And I was like, what the fuck? And it was a Lynyrd Skynyrd tweet. I can't remember. I think it was like during the ending of How I Met Your Mother and I wrote,

your mom sucked my dick at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert if my dad wrote How I Met Your Mother or something like that. But I just remember you liked it right away because I was almost like, should I post this? And then I was like, oh, cool. One person likes but you grew up around Skinner to people yes I I not only did I grow up around them but I thought

that Ronnie Van Zandt was my father briefly when my mom told me that my dad wasn't my real dad yeah I had this fantasy that it was Ronnie Van Zandt but he was dead so I had this whole like oh my god I'll never meet him he died in a fiery plane crash, this is terrible, da-da-da-da-da, and then it turned out my real dad was, like, this poor man's Ronnie Van Zandt, like a total dirtbag, toothless, Ronnie Van Zandt lookalike, or wannabe type guy, so. Where'd you grow up, exactly? I was born in Jacksonville, florida which is where leonard skinner is from yeah hell yeah and um yeah hell yeah so yeah and what like but so like okay so i don't want to be judgmental okay but like it it seems a little like is white trash bad thing to say um well we were white trash but we were were also Mormon, so it was a little elevated.

You were Mormon? Well, my mom was raised Mormon, but she obviously left the pack very early to fuck guys in Leonard Skinner and whatnot. She was like 16 and out there fucking and whatever. In the Mormon way, yeah.

Yes, exactly. Only anal, so. Sorry. This is why you should follow her on Twitter. How great is that? That really happens, though, apparently. It's true. It's like Mormon birth control. I knew that about my grandmother and grandfather

at a very young age. That they were ass fucking? Yeah, because my, yes, my grandmother had 12 kids, and that was how they didn't have kids they would fuck in the ass and this came up at dinner? I was actually I mean how do you sit down with your grandmother?

we were bearing our testimony at church and it just came up did you just make this connection or was it a known thing? no, I think it was like oh, oh because they were like, oh, we still have sex. I just took I knew a lot about sex at a very young age because my mom fucked a lot in front of me or in the. Great.

She didn't really hide it from me. But not like in front of you. Like, hey, Desi, come here. Kind of. Really? She would get drunk at parties and I'd be like walking, and she'd be in the atrium riding some guy. Oh, my God. It's funny.

It's really funny. I laugh about it. She had an atrium. Well, it was a rental, but yeah. It was a cool rental. Not a lot of boundaries in the house. No, no, no, no, not at all. So when did you run away?

He's all like sad for me. It's okay. I'm writing a book about it. It's fine. I'm grateful. Where does that book start? The Times My Mom Fucked in Front of Me? Yeah, it's a sad, sad story of a girl coming of age

with her mom fucking in front of her. But it's really happened. Sadly, it's exactly... I honestly didn't know it was abnormal until my friends would sleep over. They would be like, what's a slut? And I'd be like, oh, well, slut is when your mom fucks guys.

Let's go to the atrium. When you hear your mom say, I want to fuck, and you're like, oh, okay. That's a slut, my mom. I learned early on to embrace that and kind of get cool popularity points. Because I knew a lot about sex, so I could just kind of. You could bring people over and go like, just hang out. She's on her third.

Hey, there's my mom. She just got breast implants. Look at them. Oh, my God. What's the matter with? Get on the mic. That was weirdly, to me, the darkest part of this whole thing. That your mom got breast implants.

She denied it, too, which was the weird part. Doesn't that take a couple days? You have to get a surgeon? Did you have a babysitter for when she was getting surgery? I was the babysitter because I have two younger sisters.

It's outpatient. It's outpatient. It's all crazy. She did have to go back in, so she probably got fucked too hard and split the stitches. Oh, my God. Do you still...

Hold on, hold on. Sorry. It's not funny for me unless everyone groans. We're livening up the show. This is an amazing story about a difficult childhood. I'm glad my niece is here

to hear this. Oh, sorry. Because she just has to deal with my lunatic brother. I know, it could be worse. That's my lesson. It could always be worse. Absolutely. And when did you come out to LA?

Like 10 years ago. And you've just been writing? Yeah, I started, I thought I would do stand-up, but that didn't go well because I would tell jokes and everyone would be like oh that's so sad so then I started continues way into a stand-up career I would have like 15,000 people not laughing at my jokes in big stadiums well you're doing okay you just got up and just told the truth and they were like oh I would try to format the jokes and like really because the class was like six weeks and you'll be doing stand-up like anyone can do stand-up so I would take the format they gave

me and insert my sad childhood jokes like it's really hard when your mom's fucking guys are in front of you and like so you had to do everything in that joke format and then you'd have to do like an act out like you know when she told me about this is so horrible I'm sorry I'm doing this when she told me

about the birds and the bees she would, do you know how babies are made? And I would say, no, but I know that after two daiquiris, you like it hard and deep. And then everyone would be like, oh, that's so sad. And like everyone was just like depressed. But then I did have a gay, depressive writing partner in that class who didn't show up the first class. And then his first joke to me was it's really hard when you're sexually molested as a child.

And I was just like, where were you first week? I don't say this sarcastically or sardonically. You sound pretty healthy about it. I don't agree. It's somewhere in between, maybe. I don't agree. It's somewhere in between, maybe. I don't know.

But where are you writing for now? Well, I'm writing with Laura and then I write for like a cracked for teens. She's writing for cracked, yeah. It's not cracked. It's kind of like a lamer stupid. Which one? I don't even want to say. It's too embarrassing.

But I'm also writing on my book That's like my big thing But I love the idea that you have this Weird dark demented past And you've processed it and you're just writing cute things For 15 year olds I have to be careful I do get in trouble a lot When you bring up your mom Where I'll make jokes about my child

You think about Britney Spears Or you know like whoever ariana grand i'm like that like what happened to me when my dad yeah you know came on my shoe please tell me he didn't come on your shoe no that's a bit exaggerated yeah so wait it was more innocent. Accident? If there's cum in motion anywhere around children, it's bad. Oh.

Yeah. There's no whoops involved when it's sort of like, what was that? I'm sorry. I was just over here doing something. Excuse me. Yeah. Sorry. I was working in the kitchen. I was building something in the workshop. And I got cum on my hand. You should have knocked. Oh, excuse me. Yeah. Sorry, I was working in the kitchen. I was building something in the workshop.

And I got cum on my hand. You should have knocked. Oh, God. All right, well, so what kind of stuff are you writing with Laura? TV ideas and stuff? Oh, yeah.

We wrote two pilots. So you're out there trying to sell them? Yeah. Well, good luck with it. Thank you. Desi Jedekin. Got one more.

That's very good yeah yeah it's my pleasure to bring up this next comedian who I saw in Minneapolis the first time and then I had her open for me and then I think it's my fault that she moved here is that possible Amber? Amber Preston

ladies and gentlemen I brought vegan gluten free so Shelby I don't know if you can have any or not gluten free what?

vegan gluten free cookies for you because these I have nothing to add to this yes you do

I don't have cum shoes pee stories yes you do I can tell't have cum, shoes, pee stories. Yes, you do. I can tell you guys what it's like to have a day job in a cafe. That's what I'm bringing to the table. There's pine nuts, some burnt peanut butter and coconut chocolate chips.

Did you make these? No. All right. Thumbprints. They're good. Happy birthday. So what the fuck is happening, man? I moved here to tell jokes.

Hello. Okay. It tell jokes. Hello. It's hot. So hot. So is it working out okay? Because I felt kind of bad. Because I was like, you've got to go to L.A. You've got to go to L.A. And then you came here.

And then I don't know. I didn't talk to you. And then nothing. And then I just live in my room waiting for you to text me back. And tonight is the first time I've been out. So it's good. But you had to get out of Minnesota.

Come on. No, Minneapolis is great but I wanted, you know, I wanted to be like Shelby and get some shit done 16 years after what she's doing.

I'm just trying to get a job from all of you at some point up here today as to what's happening. I know I'm doing stand-up and telling jokes. But Minneapolis, like Minnesota,

there's a whole world up there and you lived in it. Real people. What are you feeling about LA? I like it. The first few months are nice. I had a fellow back home and I'd call and do shows. And then a couple months ago

I got straight up dumped. Like, straight up. You see those movies, and you're like, oh, I don't believe that girl. They think they're going to dinner, and it's going to be a proposal. And then it's like, oh, no, just kidding. He's sleeping with your best friend. That happens in real life. Was he sleeping?

He wasn't sleeping. He wasn't. I don't think so, but I don't know. I don't know. Did he do it over the phone or in person? Over the phone. Over the phone. Over the phone. I have nothing to contribute but bitterness and anger so you can you can take a break I got it and I got this I'm so furious just have a cookie hon have a cookie

but I'm still Minnesota nice so I'm like I'm fucking pissed but have a cookie like I'm real mad about it but you left him and moved to LA and then were surprised that he broke up with you no no he was part of the I was we were going to move together

and I was kind of waiting and then a friend of mine had an opening in her house and he said babe you should go for it you've been wanting to move for a while you've got friends out there

you did a live WTF one time that's you know five more Twitter followers so I really I'm gaining. Yeah, but aren't you happy that you didn't have to go back to Minneapolis to get broken up with? Hush your mouth, young lady.

Have you been to Minneapolis? She's never seen Purple Rain. She doesn't know shit. Okay, Minneapolis is awesome. I apologize for the language, but I've been sitting over there enjoying everyone's success stories, and I'm like, Minneapolis is great.

No, it is great. It is great! No, it is great. It is great. You come sometime, my mom will make you a ham sandwich. I'd like it. It is great. But she's in Fargo, but they're fine. They do come to Minneapolis now when I'm there, because they're so worried about my fragile state. I love Minneapolis. It's great. Okay, so listen.

We're going to be together, and then I was going home every month for road work to say hello and, you know, have a sexy time. Right, Desi? Yeah. And then on a Wednesday night before I was going back to officiate my cousin's wedding. So, okay, Wednesday, we have Saturday, I'm officiating the wedding. Tuesday, I'm doing my first big headlining week at Acme.

Okay, now. Recording an album. Wowzer, you guys. Big time. By the way, that is a big deal. That is a big deal. Don't minimize that. No, it is.

Until the Wednesday before all this happens, you get a phone call that's like, yeah, I don't think this is working out. I don't think I'm going to make it to that wedding. And you were in town? I wasn't even in town yet. I was here. I was in L.A., not in Minneapolis.

I know you guys. Oh, God. So that's why I put on a sassy wrap dress, and here I am doing it. I had some fresh lifesavers from Pamela, and life is good. So, no, it's good, but it is a little, like, now I'm like, I'm single in L.A. What am I going to, like, get to know somebody? Yeah, I don't know how it works. Have you tried?

How long has it been since you broke up? Three months. Two months. How long were you with him? Four years. Four years? Four years. So you're...

Oh, man. So like, get on Tinder. I try. I've downloaded it, and then I delete it. Like, what am I... I just do it in real life. I just swipe at people. I'm like, come here.

I tried to get here early enough to stalk Joey McIntyre. I thought that was going to happen. He's not here, is he? That was your big plan? Oh, my God. Could you, like, you know, hey. But have you been lashing out to that guy? Do you talk to him?

No, no. Nothing? I'm very Scandinavian. It's like, I will hang on to this. And it's just going to simmer. Someday, someone's going to get an earful at Trader Joe's. It's what's going to happen. Did you get really bitter?

I have breakup Tourette's. I'll just, for no reason, I'll be like, that motherfucker. And it's while I'm boxing up the cookies. Right, just out of nowhere. Yeah, or I went to, it manifested. I found, what's that bookstore downtown that's beautiful? just out of nowhere. Yeah, or I went to, it manifested, like, I was at, I found, what's that bookstore downtown that's beautiful,

the last bookstore? Yeah, yeah. That nobody told me about. You have to tell people when they come here. It's amazing. Yeah, it's a big, beautiful place.

And I walked in and I was like, this is so beautiful. You know who would really like this? Someone whose name I'm not going to say because he doesn't deserve to get it on the podcast.

That's as sassy as I get. For the listeners I waved a finger gently And nodded my head So I walk around and I'm like this is so beautiful And then I'll find a book that I think he'd like And I'll be like this fucking asshole And then I hide it behind other books

As if he's going to be there He's not going to find it Because he doesn't live here And even if he comes to visit It's going to be under this other shitty book So there. So I'm angry. But is it really true,

like you grew up like this idea that like Minnesotans or Scandinavians, is it really that repressed in your case? It is. And I've been to Sweden and it's the motherland. They like, they just even walk with their arms crossed.

Like they don't even move off the, out of the way on the sidewalk because they don't even want to like acknowledge that there could be an emotion coming at them. Were your parents like that? Oh yeah. My dad, I don't think he's ever said he loves me, but he asks me about my car all the time.

So I feel... And when I go back home now, they never cared about stand-up. They're like, maybe. How is it going's it going you know uh they don't know there's always like a weird concern to it they're they're very i just they tell my sister all the time i don't know i think she should just give that up okay and my mom said i need to write new material so you've seen me twice in the last like two years uh have you

brought do you talk about them in your act oh Oh, yeah. And they've had enough? Well, they just say really wish, my dad asks, he, this is, look at me, I'm going to be gross.

Check this out. My dad sharted at my baptism and, on the way, not at, like, you know, didn't dip me in the water.

That's disgusting. Thank you. Thank you. And I tell that story a lot then he gets kind of... Embarrassed. Like, I wish you wouldn't say that. That's anger for him? I really wish you wouldn't tell that story.

Oh, good. Do you have good siblings? Yeah. How many? Two. One lives at home with my parents. I'm trying to get her to move here. How old is she? She's 25. So just a couple years younger. And then my brother is a dirty, dirty hippie in Montana who just had a baby,

an oopsie-daisy grandbaby, so he's the winner of all. A what baby? Like he knocked a lady up. What did he name that thing? Eris. Nice. But check this out. No, he's a dirty hippie. If it was a boy, the name was going to be graffiti. Don't do drugs, Shelby. Don't do drugs.

How is Eris spelled? Is it H-E-I-R-E-S? No, A-R-I-S. You have some smart thing to say about it, don't you? You know what that name means? No, no, I'm just curious. A-R-I-S. It's like Greek something or other.

You were thinking. You're so smart. Yeah, yeah. I was just going to be weird. Are you going to get mad at Shelby now? What's happening? I'm just curious. A-R-I-S. It's like Greek something or other. You were thinking. You're so smart. Yeah, yeah. I was just like, it'd be weird. Are you going to get mad at Shelby now? What's happening? I'm just jealous. She's got a good head on her shoulders.

What does the name mean? She doesn't want to date. I just, you know. I have like 12 fake teeth, though, so. You have fake teeth? From what? Swimming? From swimming?

How would that happen with, in your fucking mind? I just, when I... You just took a bite out of the side of the pool? When I picture swimming, I'm such a catastrophic thinker. All I do is picture myself diving and my teeth hitting the bottom of the pool. I'm sorry. That's where my brain goes.

So when I think swimming, I just think like... That's the grossest thing that's been said. Really? That's just how, that's just a day in the life. How'd you lose your teeth, Shelby? I didn't lose. I had... I have like

crowns and root canals and stuff. Okay, fine. That was... I really thought there was gonna be some meat on that somehow. Nothing. I have just crowns. There's no story.

The fuck, Amber? What? God damn it. So what do you want to do? Just go out and fuck? What's happening? No, I don't think so. That sounds like, is this a proposition? Because you're not, you're not, no.

I'm just saying that. Why not? I'm not, you're leaning in close talking to everybody else. Right? He's all up in their business. Got my nice wrap dress on. Okay. I changed my mind.

Come on. I don't think so. Well, you're not going to be able to date for a while. No. Because you're too angry and you're too emotionally hurt. Yeah. So fuck the guys. Yeah.

Just focus on putting together a one-person show about that guy. Yeah. Everybody wants to go to a one-person show about a woman who's been broken up with. If you just, like, completely lost it, I would love it. Just, like, use it to purge all this Scandinavian history. Yeah. You can turn it around. You can just erase all that repression

and just scream and cry and blood and stuff. Like a bucket of it. Oh, sure. Props. I don't know. I have been having a little more fun on stage, just being a little silly. Because you have an edge, right? You don't give a fuck. Yeah. But I don't like to swear

on stage, so I don't give an ass. You don't swear on stage? Not really. Because you can't? I don't know. Are you biologically not able? I don't like to swear on stage, so I don't give an F. You don't swear on stage? Not really. Because you can't? I don't know. Are you biologically not able? I don't like it. Do you do it in real life?

Yeah. Sometimes. So when you go back, what have you been doing out here? Where have you been working? What clubs? Working is a relative term. No, I just did Meltdown on Wednesday night.

That was super fun. It worked out? Yeah, it was really fun. I had this to promote, so I felt real fancy. It was good. And I made some young men hold my shoe. I made cute boys in the front row hold my shoe because it's a heavy shoe

and I wanted them to feel how sensible it was. I don't think that's how you get to third base anymore. Hold my shoe. Yeah, it was a cute clog. And dance clothes. It's a good, sturdy shoe. Like, did you grow up eating that fish and stuff? Ludifus?

You bet. I'm related to Lawrence Welk. You're related to Lawrence Welk? Yep. Was that like a family thing that was talked about a lot? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Polka dancing. Oh you betcha. That's a different accent though. I can't do that one.

But yeah. It was How are you related to Lawrence Welk? My grandmother on my mother's side and him are first cousins or something like that. Or the whole town is lying to me. I don't know. Like everybody in that small town. Lytton, Strasburg, North Dakota, everybody says. And then they all say, well, I really thought we were going to get some of that money, you know. The Lawrence Welk fortune.

The Lawrence Welk fortune. That polka booty. That bubble money. Yeah. Yeah, that polyester money. I love you. It's good to see you. It's good to see you too.

Eat a have a cookie. And you were very funny. It was very funny. Oh, thank you. And please, Please give it up for Amber Preston. That's our show. Amber Preston, Desi Jettikin, Pam Adelon, Shelby Farrow, Whitney Cummings.

Start the music. Thank you, LA Podfest. Thank you for the cupcakes. Thank you for coming. I hope you had a nice time. Good night. Calgary is an opportunity-rich city, Thank you. inclusive, and creative. And they're helping put Calgary and our innovation ecosystem on the map as a place where people come to solve some of the world's greatest challenges. Calgary's on the right path forward.

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