WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 602 - Richard Lewis / Greg Proops

Episode Date: May 13, 2015

Richard Lewis and Greg Proops have been in the garage before, but whenever they stop by for a chat, it makes sense to turn the mics on and roll tape. They always have a lot to say. First, Greg tells Marc about his experiences doing his podcast all over the world. Then, Richard Lewis braves a unique car ride to get to The Cat Ranch in order to offer a pep talk of sorts to Marc. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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All right, let's do this. How are you, what the fuckers? What the fuck buddies? What the fucking ears? What the fucksters? What the fuckaholics? What the fucking avians. Mark Maron, this is WTF. Welcome to the show. Tonight is the premiere of season three of Maron

on IFC. I'd like you to watch it. I'd like you to DVR it if you have to and watch it a few days later. Don't wait too long to watch it. If you can possibly watch it tonight, that'd be nice. If you don't have IFC, you could get get it if you are a cord cutter and vigilant i know you're going to be able to get them on itunes uh you know eventually they'll be on netflix someone told me about sling uh you know there are places you can go to get this thing just do what you got to do if you can watch it on ifc that'd be great and let me just tell you something can i tell you something did i mention my name is mark maron hi how are you uh this is my show. Who's on the show today? But while I talk about myself, why don't I just tell you, give you a heads up so you can decide whether you want to hang in.

I've got Greg Proops for a little while and I've got Richard Lewis for a little while. How did that happen? Both of them have been on the show and usually I don't do that. Well, here's what happened. Sometimes my friends, they call me up and they're like can i can i come uh talk about my new thing and they i think greg and richard both have books and i said of course and i usually i do like you've heard it before 10 minutes up front and maybe 12 minutes 15 maybe talk a little bit about the thing well both these guys we just got to talking and they turned out to be longer conversations. And I thought, why not put them both up together? It's nice to talk to Richard again. And also Greg Proops is here.

And I never did a full solo episode with Greg. So it was good to get into it with him. He's one of the wizards. Big thinker, that Proops. Very quick on his feet, Mr. Proops. But anyways, that's what's happening on the show today also geez so much going on I'll be in Asheville North Carolina tonight there are two shows there may still be tickets left for the second show at the Orange Peel then I'll be traveling over

to Charleston South Carolina uh there's still tickets available for that actually uh if you live there and you have friends and stuff you quite honestly, you need to step it up a little bit. Really, it was not the greatest sales of the two. I don't want to rank it last, but maybe just not a lot of love for Mark Maron and Charleston. Maybe I said something to piss South Carolina off. It's going to be a few hundred people there, but I'm just saying, get with it.

Is that rude? Whatever. Atlanta, Georgia, Variety Playhouse, Saturday, this Saturdayurday may 16th i believe is sold out if not close to sold out sunday may 17th at the joy theater in new orleans uh tickets available for that and i don't i don't want to i'm coming to cleveland chicago minneapolis port chester new york brooklyn new york huntington new york red bank new jersey portland oregon boulder colorado denver colorado Go to WTFpod.com slash calendar for all those dates.

I just wanted to give you a little update on the weekend. But so what I'm saying is tonight my show premieres and I'm going to be on stage in North Carolina. If that's not commitment to the stand-up craft, I'll be checking in. I'll be DVRing it. I feel like a hypocrite. I'm not going to watch my own show in real time because I got to do stand up comedy

but damn it what I want to tell you and I want to tell you this honestly I'm very happy with this season of my show and look I knew going into doing a TV show I knew that the first year would be a little stiff I need to get the hang of some stuff I knew

I was ready to do what I was doing and I was excited to do it but I knew I had to learn do what I was doing and I was excited to do it, but I knew I had to learn some things. Second season was better. It was better in the writing. It was better in the, how we came together and wrote for the world. It was better.

I was better as an actor, but this season, I really think that we nailed it. I think that the shows are hilarious. I think the guest stars are hilarious. The stories are great. Tonight's show features Elliot Gould as Elliot Gould. And the pitch of the show or the story is I really want to get a talk show on television,

but I need an agent. So Elliot refers me to his agent who was played by Alex Rocco, who was Mo Green in The Godfather. The lovely Lucy Davis from the original British office plays my British manager based on my real British manager, kind of. But I guess what I'm saying is I'm very happy with the show. There's nothing that happens on the show that I didn't okay or didn't create or was not part of the creative process on. This is exactly the show I wanted to do and all my writers wanted to do. This is exactly the show I wanted to do and all my writers wanted to do.

And I guess here at the onset of everything, I'd like to thank those guys and thank IFC and Fox Studios and Fox 21 and Fox. No, that's enough Foxes. Apostle, Jim Serpico, Tom over there at Apostle and Avalon. I'm not accepting an award, but there's just so many people to thank. You know, there's wardrobe people, there's caterers, there's craft servicers, there's lighting guys. I mean, it's an amazing collaborative effort that brings a TV show into a full realization. And I don't know, I'm just excited. Most importantly, my writing staff, Dave Anthony, Jerry Stahl, Michael Jammon, Sievert Glarem, Sean Russell.

We worked hard and they all did a great job. And I think you're really going to enjoy this series. Okay. Greg Proops, I've known since I was a child in a way. He was there when I moved to San Francisco in 1992. He was there to see a chaotic, confused, boundaryless little stoner, Mark. And he contributed. He contributed. His new book, The Smartest Book in the World, boundaryless little stoner, Mark. And he contributed. He contributed.

His new book, The Smartest Book in the World, is available now wherever you get books. Let's talk to Greg. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that.

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sectors, each and every day. Calgary's on the right path forward. Take a closer look how at calgaryeconomicdevelopment.com. Iggy. What have you been doing? I'm on the road. I finished the book and now we're getting ready to go out and do a book tour and junk. I'm still doing stand-up and improv. The book's really fun, dude.

Thank you, Eddie. It's very specifically you. It actually functions as a reference book. I believe that if you take the lessons from this book, you will be at least the illusion of sophisticated and interesting. That's all I present, Mark. The shallow illusion of sophisticated and interesting. My horizontal knowledge can only present a veneer of sophistication. Actual sophistication is up to you.

And how's the podcast going? The podcast is going real well. We go all over. And this year, we're going to do London and Paris, I hope, for the book tour. But something might come up. But last year, we did, I don't know, Helsinki and Stockholm, Amsterdam, Paris. You do a live podcast there? Oh, yeah.

In Helsinki? Yeah. It was great. We went to the first annual Helsinki Comedy Festival or whatever it was. Who was it? Really? Were you the only American there? Yep. Yep. How was it? Oh, Glenn Wall, but he's Canadian.

Yeah, Glenn was one other North American. Glenn lives in the world. We did it in a rock and roll club in Helsinki and we went in and the sound guy's name was fantastically Niko. And I-K-K-O, right? That's the kind of names they have in Finland. There was a rock band up there hammering through like a Tom Petty song and they were all our age right

like they weren't kids and they were hammering through it very poorly and I went over to them and I'm like hey fellas how's it going and they fronted me

oh really oh yeah no wouldn't talk Jennifer was like look at this fucking dressing room right because it was just you know

like what like just a shithole yeah yeah it was a rock club in Finland classic rock dressing room, right? Because it was just, you know. Like what? Like just a shithole? Yeah, yeah. Rock club. It was a rock club in Finland. Classic rock club. I did it there and it was great fun. And of course, I played the immigrant song because every Scandinavian country I go to,

then I'm getting ready to go to Stockholm and a guy sends me an email and he says, when you get here, don't play the immigrant song because we're not, you know, really Vikings. So, of course, I played it immediately. And every time you play it in the Scandinavian countries, they love it. You know what the Zeppelin song? Yeah. We come from the land of the ice and snow. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's some one guy. No, no, right. Right. And he said, don't mention how good looking we are.

Uh, we know we're good looking. And I read that thing. I read the email on the, this was in where, which is, and that was in, uh,

Stockholm. And I go, um, yeah, you guys are good looking. Ever been to Italy? I wouldn't get you high on yourself, Sweden. Yeah. But that's the opposite. That's like the other you guys are good looking ever been to Italy yeah I wouldn't get you high on yourself Sweden yeah but that's the opposite that's like the other side of the good looking

spectrum like I knew a guy who went to Sweden he's like you go into like a gas station you're like there's a supermodel working here it's true though it's true and they're tall yeah they're tall they're really tall and not and the Dutch are amazingly tall I remember at the airport in Amsterdam I go excuse me I want to go to the bathroom before we get in the cab. And the urinal was this high. I felt like I was a child, you know, like.

You felt like you had to wash your face? Right. It was like, oh my goodness, splash, splash. What is this? It's a face bidet. Yeah,

they were so tall. And all the Scandinavians are really tall. I love that you're so, like you do that international thing. I'm still sort of mildly nervous about travel.

Oh no, they love it. They love it. And there's always English speakers in every place. To be honest, Helsinki was good, but Stockholm was extraordinary because I did it in Norway and they were all right, but I think they were a little more Who's Line oriented. They knew me from Who's Line. But in Sweden, everyone seemed to really know about podcasts. We went into a coffee shop. Do you do any standup though? Do you do standup and a podcast? You just consider the podcast

standup? You just riff anyways? You riff on the theme? I won't go anywhere that I don't do a podcast, but I did a stand-up in Helsinki as well. And in Sweden, no. I just did the podcast. And in Brussels, just the podcast. But I will do stand-up in those countries. Right. They almost all speak English really well,

but the Swedes speak it extraordinarily well. Well, yeah, I hear Finland is a very huge fans of, like, they're big Conan fans. So if you had any presence on that show, like, I hear Finland is a very huge fans of, like they're big Conan fans. So if you had any presence on that show, like I've always wanted to go, but I haven't gone. I want to go to the Scandinavian countries. It's a matter of making time. And of course, can you afford it?

You know, because these things don't pay for themselves. The money you make is, you know, nominal or whatever. So I do it to have fun and everything. And eat fish? And eat fish. And eat fish. Oh my God, the seafood is to die. Is it?

Yeah. It has to be. We were in Oslo and we ordered shrimp. And I go, where are the shrimp from? And she's like, Greenland. We don't have any more. No more? Yeah, but it was like buckets of shrimp, you know.

Yeah. And Sweden, the food was tremendous in Sweden. It's like a culinary explosion there. So we go into this coffee shop. There was a real old-fashioned one that Jennifer found where everyone drinks coffee with sandwiches. Like, that's a big thing to them. Gotta have the sandwich.

So they drink coffee with food, which I rarely do. Right. Unless it's breakfast. Yeah. And the waiter, or the guy who ran the place with his mother, his mother didn't speak a word of English, and he goes, Greg Proops. And I'm like, hey, dude.

And he goes, you've been on Joe Rogan's show of English and he goes, Greg Proops. And I'm like, hey dude. And he goes, you've been on Joe Rogan's show. What? He goes, I love Joe Rogan. So I texted Rogan and I'm like, I'm in Stockholm

and they love you. And of course he went, he went over and did it. He did? Yeah, he went over and did a concert in Stockholm and sold it out and everything.

Oh, it's interesting where, you know, who resonates and why and how it happens. Jennifer's like, Joe Rogan?

Out of nowhere. And he goes, I love wrestling. I love the, what is it he loves? Oh, the fighting. Yeah, the fighting. Yeah, ultimate fighting. UFC, is that what it's called? I'm not.

No, me neither. But yeah, people love Rogan. He's got a big reach. I guess we all do. I'd like to go and see what's out there for me. You should, Betty. And I guarantee you, well, you've been to London before. I have for two weeks, just once.

Just once, yeah, for two weeks. And it was okay. I think it would be better now. Yeah, of course it would. Like when I went, I was on the set of another show. Right. You know, I did a two-week run

on the set of, I can't remember, it wasn't a late, it was something. Were you in front of an office set or something? No, it was like a dirty loft set. Yeah, sure.

But it was, la bolem, it was in front of an office set or something or no it was like a dirty loft set it was like uh it but it was uh it was la boheme it was an interpretation a modern interpretation of la boheme i think does that make sense yes uh you know and uh yeah so uh so that was it was good i i need to go back people want me to go back yeah so when you wrote the book this is its name for your podcast which is smart thank you it's almost a companion branding it's a companion book this is its name for your podcast which is smart thank you it's almost a companion branding it's a companion book it is yes it's a companion but what were you like you just thought like everything proofs you know what is the context of my mind and what is important to me and then you put that in there that was it that was it pretty much yeah i mean i went in for a pitch meeting a couple years ago that's how long it takes as you know the goalposts keep getting moved yeah and i i pitched this and this and that and then of course it all changed you know then

you end up writing it and uh as things go on uh my editor would give me an idea for something or jennifer would give me an idea for who's your guy uh matthew benjamin uh-huh simon and schuster yeah i met that guy yeah and he's really he's a cute and uh you know i just met with him he's yeah he's a good guy he's really he's really smart yeah and he follows all this man like the reason i even got the book was because he's a fan of the podcast yeah so he got me into the meeting and i got in there and uh uh i said oh it'll be about this and it'll have this and feminism this that and uh baseball blah blah blah and then of course you end up writing it and i uh a couple of the best things in it that i think are the funniest things weren't my idea.

Like what? That's, I think, where the magic of an editor goes. Of everything. One was, I talk about art theft on my podcast from time to time. Like, I'd like to steal this piece of art. And then, of course, you always have to give a caveat because you know how people are. Like, don't really steal art. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so Matthew said to me, Please, Greg. Right. Why don't you do a chapter called 10 Pieces of Art I Wish I Had the Balls to Steal? Uh-huh. So I did, and it's one of my favorite chapters.

And then I was working in Montreal last year at the festival where I saw you. And I was working over at a place called the... Are you about to tell me you stole a piece of art? No, it would not have been great. The best part would have been if I'd said, yes, I went to the Marmaton Museum and I took it. I have a very small Degas on me right now.

It's in my bag. I have a Brock of an etching, yeah. And the cat, Jeremy, who runs the club I played at in Montreal said, I told him about the book and he goes, really? And I go, yeah, this one chapter I'm doing is about art I'd like to steal. And he goes, what about the paintings of George W. Bush?

And so I put it in. The paintings of George. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen some of those paintings. Right. And I said, I forget what I say in the book, something like he's challenging Art Brute

because Art Brute is usually done by what they call outsiders, meaning the mentally defective or whatever. And it's a scheme on how we steal his paintings. And you go to Dick Cheney's house, he's dressed as a color guard. And then we run in and grab it off the refrigerator. I'm sure if you like, you know, you were pleasant and you go to Dick Cheney's house dressed as a color guard and then we run in and grab it off

the refrigerator. I'm sure if you like, you know, you were pleasant and you showed up at his house, he'd give you one. Uh-huh.

Could I have the one of Putin? Yeah. The one who looked into his eyes? Come on, trust him. All you'd have to do is sit on the couch

and talk baseball with him for an hour. You could walk with a painting easy. Hell, that guy's nice. I'm going to give him a couple of those. Yeah, exactly.

Here's one I did to Margaret Thatcher. I never met her. I think I did. You got the 10 smartest drugs in the world. Oh, yeah. There's all those lists

and all the baseball teams were not something I thought of. As you know, mistakes are, what Leonard Cohen said, you know, cracks are where

the light shines through. Every time I make a mistake, I try to amplify it because I find like, you know, the stuff you think of isn't as funny as the stuff that just happens and then you jump on it. And I didn't make up baseball teams, but people started getting up at the show and going, who's your 10 greatest,

who's the all-time baseball team of Kings and Queens of England? Who's the all-time baseball team of Roman Emperors? So I would just do them off the top of my head so they all ended up in the book right i kept the lists from the show because i would write them down and you're just riffing them yeah and like uh my friend nick jones in england who i've worked with him we made i know that guy you know thank you we made it didn't i meet him wasn't he here ever no we made it we made a documentary on bob hope last year and and i've done a lot of work with him but he he was at a show and and a guy got up and went here's your old time kings and queens of england i'm doing mcjaggernow yeah uh baseball team and so i did it and then after the show he

came up and he went oh i was kind of worried about you for that one i go i know i know enough kings and queens of england and you did yeah it was ethel you know ethel read the unready and uh edward the confessor and you know where do you get this? How do you maintain this encyclopedic knowledge? And it's weird, though, because you're a real baseball fan, right? Oh, yeah. And that's the left field for Greg Proops. You don't seem like a sports guy, but you are. No, I love baseball.

Because you grew up with it. Yeah, mostly baseball. I like track and field as well. Football, I go back and forth. But did you go to college? Yeah. But I never graduated. I don't think you need to graduate.

Did you graduate? I did, but it took a long time. But it doesn't matter. You're right. You don't need to do anything. But like you're, like the idea that you could just name off to, you know, what, 12 kings and queens of England. Like I imagine if I sat and thought about it, maybe I could.

No, you would. But I don't, what compels you to know that? It's the putting them in the positions in the field and then giving a justification for why they're playing the position they're playing. That's the tough part. About the eighth or ninth one, I was like, okay. But what's your specific interest? Why do you know that?

I don't know. I know a little about a lot of things. I don't know a lot about a little things. I don't have in-depth knowledge of anything. My knowledge of science and- Science, tricky. Biology and physics and things like that. Numbers.

Absolutely, completely useless. Yeah. Every once in a while, I get caught out because someone will ask me a science question. I'm like, I don't know. So nothing to do with planets? Oh, no, no, no. No planets.

Or math. I can't do math. Yeah, me neither. Geometry, algebra. I gave that up at like 14. So the stuff you can kind of bullshit your way through. Precisely. Which is what the book is.

It should have been called The Stuff I Can Kind of Bullshit My Way Through would have been a more honest appraisal. I think it's called a clamorous compendium or something. I gave it some alliterative nonsense to make it sound, you know. No, but it's great. It's great because like, you know,

I like books where you can just sort of, even in a good memoir, if you can be passionate about something, I mean, there's a lot of stuff in here, shit you like. Yeah. It's just stuff like, well, that's good. Right.

And there's always gonna be some idiots who are like, but what about, and like, I don't know that guy. It's not my responsibility to know all of them. This is the one I like. Right. Just shut the fuck up. That's exactly right.

And I was required to write an afterward to fill some pages because the pagination didn't fill out. You know how these book things work. You finish the thing, you're like, oh, thank fuck I finished it. And then I get a call. We need like five more pages. So can you write an afterward?

So I wrote, in the next book, it will be more stuff that you like instead of the shit that I like. Oh, man. You got vinyl? I have made an album in San Francisco over New Year's week and that one's gonna come out

on vinyl probably in the summer but also on download and everything else you gotta do it the way but I wanted to do some vinyl ones as well and we're in the process

of like trying to design the cover and jazz like that and I did a long bit on the Giants and the new album because the Giants have won three world series but I mostly it's an impression of Giants in the new album because the Giants have won three World Series, but mostly it's an impression of Bruce Bochy, the manager,

which I hope works for everyone, and so it's not too baseball-intensive. Because Bruce Bochy talks like... Remember that bear cartoon? Bear talks like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Bruce Bochy talks like. Right.

It just turned into a surreal, you know... Well, Angel Bagan's out in Centerfield. You want to give him a chance? It turns out Gregor Blanco had buried a goat out in the bullpen a couple years ago we really couldn't believe how tender

it was and Hunter Pence made a kale shake the other day that put us back on our heels you know it's nonsense

it's just nonsense so that's what the album is it was killing it was San Francisco you know like all you have to do is go giants

when you walk on and the place goes crazy I haven't been like I was up there like do you miss it no cause I'm up four or five goes crazy. I haven't been, like, I was up there, like, do you miss it? No, because I'm up four or five times a year. I've already been up like three times this year.

But do you miss living there? I do, but I don't think I could afford it anymore. Really? Well, I mean, say we sold our cribs in LA and you wanted to go up and buy a place in San Francisco. Where are you going to live? Yeah. You're not going to live in San Francisco unless you live in Visitation Valley or Hunter's Point

and even then those places have gotten cheat sheet so it's crazy well I don't want to live in Cupertino or Hercules or whatever I know you probably couldn't live in Cupertino because there's so much IT going on there the prices have gone through the roof I do miss that part

because I love how not showbiz San Francisco is there was something great about waking up in San Francisco. Yeah. Like, you know, I like waking up here, but there was a weird kind of fog and crispness to it. Yeah. And you just wake up. But that was back in the day where I'm like, I had nothing to do.

Right. Like, you know, I'd wake up and be like, I guess I'll walk over to Valencia and go to Muddy Waters and get a pint of coffee. Right. Oh, no, I'm going to go to the horseshoe today. Or I'll go get a burrito for three hours. Or go bullshit with my friends for the rest of the day. Sit in that coffee shop until someone I know walks in.

And then we'll go have a day together. And then see what they're doing. Those were the days. When you didn't have stuff to do all day. Like you'd do the Bennett show and you'd be fucked up for hours. The whole day was fucked. Yeah. Oh, do you ever talk to him?

I emailed him and I follow him on Facebook and stuff. He's doing good. I did a show with him, I think, last year. He was doing some, he's not on a serious radio show anymore. He's not?

No, he was doing a podcast of his own, so I did it with him. Really? I feel like, you know, I always liked Alex and he did so much for us when we were in San Francisco. I came in a little late,? I feel like, you know, I always liked Alex and he did so much for us when we were in San Francisco. I came in a little late,

you know, like, you know, I remember the first time I met you too, but I came in a little late to Alex. By the time I got to Alex Bennett, it was pretty much, you know, he'd interview guests and then complain about ailments.

I was going to say, then he'd talk about his health for half a fucking hour. You know, I can't sleep anymore because I've got a creeping yick inside my lower colonic. And then he'd ask you, like, do you ever get the sweaty, like, the back of your neck? No, I'm not 60.

Not yet. You know, you'd sit there and watch him interview a celebrity that you'd get through, and then you'd have to just sort of sit there with three other comics listening and complain about his colon. Or watch him eat a bagel for half an hour or drink a Diet Coke.

I was thinking about it the other day, though. All the celebrities I met on his show, Agnesta Holland, the director, Dennis Farina, Eric Stoltz. I think of all these movie stars and directors that they would just casually come by. Well, that was sort of the end of, when I got there,

the end of the the morning radio thing but uh yeah i met i can't remember who i met but i remember i got into a little bit of trouble i was always sort of a dick then first time i met you was in new york though at the westway diner around the corner from the original improv right i was with some other comics and i was a dick to you i was like yeah doing the tom kenney thing wearing glasses and the hair i've seen that before you're doing Tom Kenny's look aren't you I was like that guy

and you were like no I don't why is this I was a dick then too though when I think about how I acted in my 30s and even into my 40s I was a little too

I remember getting I was in like Edinburgh and Provenza was there who of course we're buddies with and I've known Provenza for a hundred years

and what was that show he used to do comics only or four comics it's just so weird with Provenza was there who of course we're buddies with and I've known Provenza for a hundred years and what was that show he used to do comics only or four comics it's just so weird with Provenza you could be doing like a one nighter

you know outside of Reno and it's Provenza like hey we're doing a thing around the corner do you want to stop there we are internationally

you could be in Helsinki like what's Provenza doing here no he's always everywhere I know and this was you know 20 some odd years ago. And they go, him and his producer or whatever go, oh, we wanted to get you on the show.

Yeah. On the comics only, which was on like the Ha Channel. Yeah, right. Or maybe Comedy Central when it first started. What was it? It was Comedy Channel. Comedy Channel. Maybe it was called then.

Right. And I went, no, you didn't. You didn't try to get me because I'm easily fucking available. You can call my fucking number anytime you like. I'm sitting by the goddamn phone. I don't remember getting a call from you, so why are you bullshitting me now? And they both like, what the fuck? Their eyes got all big.

And I thought, I'd never do that now. Now I would be the nice person to go, that's terrific. Thank you. Instead, I contested it. Just swited. Oh, no, no, right. I've been waiting. how dare you tell me you tried to get me on the liar there's no point in it you know like i believe i'm all for honesty yeah but there's a line between honesty and dickitude sure yeah honesty used as a weapon there was a there was a comic fear he's a

very good comic and he still plays and And I played with him in Oregon years ago when I was playing with him in San Francisco. And he goes, you remember we played together in Portland? And I go, yeah. And he goes, do you remember what you said to me? And I went, no, what did I say? And he went, you said, you're a fucking hack and I don't know what the fuck

you're doing up there, but you need to change your shit around. And I went, oh my god, did I really say that to you? And he went, you were right and i did change my shit around oh and i was like oh thank god because i thought the next one was going to be in here's your you know yeah it's just karate taught me he was probably middling for you yeah he was and he was putting it up your ass yeah and you're like like by the third day you're like you know what yeah oh no oh no enough of your ricky lake routine or whatever it was i laid into him for for so long. Whatever he was killing. Right.

Whatever he was closing with and making it hard for you for the first 10 minutes. Yeah. I laid into him for it. And I thought, I'd never do that again. And, you know, you work with some middle acts. I'm sure you do, too, occasionally, that, you know, they could use a little more focus. Or maybe they talk about masturbating for, like, 30 minutes. Years ago, I worked with a Latino middle act who closed with like, and let's thank, you know,

God bless the firefighters. Oh, no. Like it was a 9-11 piece. Right, right, right. And like they're standing ovation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People are crying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And now, the dissident Jew. Exactly. He will disagree with everything you hold dear. You'll be burning the flag with a menorah. Oh, it's brutal. Oh, God. I hate. The only two things I object to, because people go, do you care who opens for you? burning the flag with a menorah. Oh, it's brutal. Oh, God. I hate. The only two things

I object to, because people go, do you care who opens for you? And I'm always like, no, unless racism and misogyny. I remember a guy opening for me at Irvine, and he did 20 minutes

on how much he hated Iranians. And I was like, this is horrible. And then you get on the crowds of lynch mob. Well, the weird thing about this whole, there's this weird kind of, this idea that, you you know political correctness or that there's some sort of wave of

censorship yeah right but the weird thing is like no there isn't you can say whatever you want then you just have to accept the people that you're going to surround yourself with yeah you can go say that to those people and you can all be like why can't we say this you can but not you know to the other people who are decent moral people they're going to be like why can't we say this you can but not you know to the other people who are decent moral people they're gonna be like we don't really like those people no that's all no there's no i love that people go that oh you know the pc police they prescribe what you can say it's like no they don't um it's simple common decency if you want to say something insulting about a race that's on you right that's on you and you know you take responsibility for it or

find people that enjoy that kind of thing right and we on you and you know you take responsibility for it or find people that enjoy that kind of thing right and we'll know where you are yeah and they often do yeah please identify yourselves and please don't come to my show please do not come to my show because you're the you're i did one in chicago and i had you know i'm sure you let people email you yeah i do it in chicago it was on the fit last Yeah. 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King's job, March for Jobs and Freedom. So I played a little of his speech and I talked about Martin Luther King.

I thought the show went pretty well. There was a couple hundred people. The podcast. Yeah, the podcast. And a guy wrote me afterward and he wrote, I didn't like your show. I went to it and all you talked about was politics and I didn't agree with what you said

and I want my money back. And I wrote him back and I said, your hostile tone is not conducive to discourse. And I said, and secondly, you don't get to ask for your money back after the show. If you have an issue, that's a five minute warning. Within the first five minutes, if you're not digging it, walk right out to the box office. Demand your money back. Because this commie bastard.

Right. You don't sit through two hours with the crowd cheering and then go, you know what? I took exception. And I thought, wait a minute. That was the show I talked about, Martin Luther King. So you were angry

that we talked about I Have a Dream? And it was like, yes, he was. Did you go back and forth with him? No, no, no, no. He didn't write me back

after that. But like, where's the entitlement to that? That's what I mean. Like, you disagree with somebody. Walk away.

Yeah, yeah. I want my money back for what you put in my head. I disagree with almost everything everyone says yeah so I don't I can't spend the day

fuming about it that's fucking bizarre dude I know where's the next big trip I'm gonna be all around the country in May Seattle, Portland Philly

Chicago exciting LA, San Francisco da da da well awesome man I wish you the best of luck thank you brother and thank you for reading the book

I really appreciate it yeah it's good to see you. Thank you. So, Greg Proops. I know Greg from San Francisco. Now, when I moved to San Francisco, I was sort of at the end of one of many of the ropes that I'd gotten. Like, I would swing from rope to rope and then eventually work myself to the end of those ropes and have to get a weird momentum going where, you know, it was either fall into the pit or get to that the next rope and climb up. And one of the ends of those ropes was San Francisco back in the early 90s when I moved there and I met Proops and a bunch of other people.

And I have very little recollection of what I really did there. You know, I know I was doing comedy and I was wandering around. I was smoking weed. It was before I got sober. I tried to get sober. Then I was not. So smoking a lot of weed, wandering around, drinking pint-sized cups of coffee with brown sugar in them at the horseshoe, hanging out the naked eye video store with the hyperactive steve walking around the lower hay walking around the mission eating burritos talking thinking writing things down stealing

my roommate's volumes after doing too much coke uh one day and then causing trouble there i was living there with a with the woman that became my first wife and we were living with another couple he had a gun in the house which was a problem for for the woman i was living with i i don't know that i thought about it that much i got uh i played his guitar once with uh with the stinky you know food on my hands and that caused trouble i was not cut out for roommates oh boy san francisco anyways didn't have a pot to piss in wander around high wandering around high trying to figure out how to get some traction in the comedy game and then last sunday night for those of you who were there mother's day mother's day night i played symphony hall davy symphony hall in san for 1,900 people and change.

There was over 1,900 people there in a room that was designed to accommodate symphonies. I stood alone on that stage and looked out. And man, what a fucking trip that was. I'd never played a room that acoustically perfect and that big with that many balconies I don't know that I was nervous But there were moments where I felt very alone up there and I was talking to the people and it it's amazing to be in a hall That's acoustically perfect Where you can just talk and people can hear you I got off the mic a couple of times on purpose just to

You know play with the acoustics of the room. There's a very up and down set. There was moments where I thought it was amazing and I was connecting and everyone was laughing. Then there were moments where people were just listening. Then there were moments where I thought I wasn't connecting. And so usually if I go in and out like that, or I feel like I'm not connecting, I'll do a longer show. So in the middle of the set, it's somewhere two thirds of the way through, I just broke into a Q and A. We got some riffing going. Then I closed the show. It was spectacular. And I appreciate the standing ovation. I appreciate everyone who came back.

It was the highlight of my life, one of them. From walking around that city, you know, with nowhere to go, not knowing what the hell I was going to do with my life, to returning there at Symphony Hall was, I appreciate it. I can tell you that. It is not lost on me, and I am grateful for it.

All right, so Richard Lewis came by. His book, Reflections from Hell, Richard Lewis's guide on how not to live, is available now in the same places you can get Greggie's book, at bookstores or online where you get books okay and that you know i love richard lewis he was a hero of mine and remains a hero of mine uh one of the great stand-up comedians let's talk to richard lewis but you know i'm nervous because like you know now how do i how do i make that you know, I'm nervous because, like, you know, how do I make that, you know, me? You know, that impulse to try to get larger, which I don't want to do.

What do you mean larger? In what way? Well, I mean, I like it to be intimate. I like to have the freedom of mind. And sometimes when you're in theater, you know, you got to figure out that pacing. It's not the garden. No, it's like 800, 900 people. Those are great.

It's my first time doing it. First time. Get out of here. No, first time, like, doing a tour that's mostly 800, 900 people. Those are great. It's my first time doing it. First time. Get out of here. No. First time doing a tour that's mostly like that. Oh. Usually it's clubs. It'll blow you away.

Yeah? Yeah. All right. I mean, as far as, well. I thought you would be ready for Carnegie Hall. I'm ready. I'm ready. But this is what I do.

This is my preparation. Are you going to tell me that before you got to- Are you taping this shit? Yeah. Are you telling me that before you do 800, 900 seats, you're like, this is great. I can't wait to get out there. What are you asking me again? The limo driver got me so fucked up.

You know what he kept saying? What? It was like a sitcom. He kept saying, you know why I can't find it? I go, why is that, Talbert? Talbert, by the way, was the Wolfman's fucking name. Is that his name, Talbert? Talbert.

Okay. He says, because I'm a professional. Yeah. I got into the car 45 minutes early. Yeah. And he was way, and he was driving while holding the MapQuest in a car that was 25 years old. I'm sitting on gum. The spinners spit out.

And he kept saying, I'm a professional. And then when he picked me up, he says, Mr. Lewis, I'm a big fan. But, you know, you want to hear music? And I said, you know, I'm in a series now, and I'm going over a scene for tomorrow. He goes, oh, I won't bother you. Hey, listen, I just, one thing. I picked up this comedian, you know, people our age would know him. Jack Carter used to be on the, yeah, I know who he is. one thing i picked up this comedian you know you know people our age would know him jack carter

used to be on yes i know who he is and that was then non-stop all the way to finding your house an hour and 40 minutes of his stories i just heard your whole fucking life story while you're driving like a mental patient holding map quest and talking about your neighborhood which i like it's a hip neighborhood even though all the cafes are closed. Where? Here? I looked around down the two streets. Every cafe had names like the old, like, Bar and Cool and Lee and Boom and Bang.

One. One bar. I see fences. No, Bar was open. That was open. Bar is open. But B and Come and Sherry and Share is closed. I know. They don't open until later.

They do? No, there was fences around it and condemned. Oh, geez. Do you need a condemned property? Well, no, that's hip now. That's not really. Let's get back to your question. Your question.

I'm just a little nutty. I get nervous. It's not even nervous about performing. I know I'm going to be fine. But it's sort of my issue is that, do they know what they're getting into? You have diehard fans who can't wait to hear you riff, do new and old.

My hunch is when you do old, you take it to, you keep riffing on and on. That happened last night. Our favorite comedians do that. We feel like Lenny used to do that a lot. When he went back to familiar stuff he would get open it up again bored and he would open it up yeah they if they're going with you get right off what you normally would have done i'm telling you you're a master at this shit but i mean i stay

away for a lot of times i'll stay away from old stuff some kid asked me last night when i was getting off he said do that thing from 95 yeah like a big piece and i was like all right fuck it i'll try to get back in it. And that's what happened. I just opened it up. Yeah, because you have all the experience after that. Yeah.

No, it's funny. It's a whole other, it's actually not a bad idea. I mean. To re-explore? Yeah, because you have a new perception,

or a new, adding all your 20 years, whatever, on a pit that struck you funny when you were in your 20s, or 30s, whatever the fuck. How you doing? Seriously. Well, I'm doing, this has your 20s, 30s, whatever the fuck. How are you doing?

Seriously. Well, I'm doing, this has been a good time for me, man. Yeah. I mean, my marriage is cool. I'm sober 20 years. Graduations. Thank you. I appreciate it.

And I'm just trying to shake the fucking driver. All right, all right. All right, I'll shake it. You got to get ready to get back in the car. I got to move over. You got to. Don't even say that to me. I said, because it's 900...

The map course is 40 pages. Look like the Bible. He's looking at papers? Papers while he's driving. But what is he... Doesn't he have a phone? And the street names here. Hiawatha.

All right, all right. Hatchet Avenue. All right, I'm not going to use him anymore. No, no. He's hilarious. He said he came out of retirement for me. What is this? Old Timers Day at Shea Stadium? What was the Jack Carter story? he's hilarious he said he came out of retirement from me what is this old timers day

at med shea med shea stadium or shea stadium what was the jack carter story huh it was great because for you

who don't know jack carter was a great comic in the 50s and 60s and 70s yeah but he's always known to be sort of bitter

a monster but a killer on stage yeah so he had to pick up jack carter to take him to a charity yeah and he was you know he was of the age Jack Carter to take him to a charity. Yeah. And he was, you know, he was of the age to know Carter.

He was a kid watching him. However old this Talbot guy was. So he says, he gets there 15 minutes early. And Carter was in doing his front lawn. Yeah. Fertilizer and shit. Yeah, yeah. And Carter sees him.

It's usually good when they come early. It's better than being late. Right. And he says, you're early! Screamed at him. Yeah. And Carter sees them. It's usually good when they come early. It's better than being late. Right. And he says, you're early! Screamed at him. Yeah. And then he ran off. He got scared.

Scary Jack Carter. Let's get back to your problem. I don't have a problem. I'm happy to see you. No, no. I mean, doing theaters is where it's at. Do you have, I don't ever see. I've done a couple.

My only issue is like, for me, it's best if I get into one mind thing and I feel comfortable and it's at. Do you have, I don't ever see. I've done a couple. My only issue is like, for me, it's best if I get into one mind thing and I feel comfortable and it feels intimate. I understand. Right.

And then sometimes like, if I perceive that they're not, if I'm not hitting where I want to hit, then I'll overcompensate when it's a theater. There's no fucking end to that. To the ability

to overcompensate. You got all that space to get big and run around. Yeah, well, you don't have to run around. No, I want to sit down. I want to lie down. Really? I get emails from you.

You're all over the place. You're killing. Well, no. You send me articles. Let me get this. What? There's one thing. I was a patron to this artist, and Larry David was too,

called Nicholas Tlla yeah for 35 years a painter he's an artist a painter couldn't imply yeah house painting no art yeah painter right you're an art yeah painter i can't wait no i'm sure you're right you're right mark and uh so i i i came up with an idea so I can show people off this guy, basically. And it's an art book. And but with my, he, I don't mean to be grandiose, but Edgar Allan Poe and Manet did a book similar. I didn't know. We didn't, so the Edgar Allan Poe family.

Oh, really? Like he would do a poem and then Manet. He would illustrate it. You know, can I be illiterate on this show in front of you? You're an intellectual. No, I'm not. I'm short on words. I use words improperly.

Me too. I don't know what the plural of squash is. Squy. Is it? Yes. Is it squashes? What the fuck is that? That's the fucking limo driver.

Am I here? Am I here? You know who the last two people I talked to on that phone? Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. That's great. They called this phone. I don't even know who they were calling, but they called this phone on purpose to talk to me.

Well, that's beautiful. They're on tour. Yeah, they're touring. They're doing the North America tour. It started already? No, it starts in San Diego. Somehow I got hooked up with 10-minute interviews with the both of them.

Fantastic. It was incredible. Which leads me to ask you, when you were talking about, not nervously, but with anxiety about theaters, on a commercial headspace, you've done so much in the last eight or nine years to get such an intense, rabid following yeah that just from my own experience as a theater would to me would be a piece of cake for you to sell out fast well i did okay in some cities you know and yeah and i'm excited to do it i'm not saying i'm not excited but you know i'm just sort of like i don't, look, even. It's okay to be.

You don't have, are you beating yourself up? A little. I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint them. I don't want to disappoint anybody. No, that's the way we should feel. Okay, so that's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. Because it's a larger group of people?

I don't know. What kind of theory is this? It's a daily theory. What if someone was dying and you went to the hospital? Would you care as much about that person if they wanted to see you and you did like an hour? It's just all based on. Yes, that's how I see everybody in the room. It's only a matter of time.

For everyone in the theater, they're all dying, Richard. We're all dying. And that's how I look at it. How can I help these dying people? I'd be honored, even though I started the thing, we're in the writer's room now, use it on the IFC show. And then let me come in and die in the seat. You want to do it? Yeah, and then I'd drop dead.

We would definitely have you on, but we thought you were like, you know, your dad, the other guy. You'd do the other show. Yeah, you're like that guy. That's it done. Now I'm on a show called Blunt Talk. I know, that sounds like a hell of a show. It's unbelievable. What is the angle?

like a hell of a show it's unbelievable what is the angle the angle is sir patrick stewart yeah is this progressive british guy who has a you know like a crazy progressive talk show yeah like the opposite of that whack you know what's his name on on the fox he played he's a it's a progressive british guy comes over as an hour talk show it's based on the kind on the british guy that was on cnn for a while right well yeah but that's what on the kind on the British guy that was on CNN for a while, right? What the hell is that guy's name? Yeah, but that's what it would be like. But this guy is a coke addict, a womanizer. Yeah.

And he has a butler. Adrian Scarborough is a great character. Really? Hilarious. Yeah. And Jackie Weaver who won an Oscar nomination

for Silver Linings. The cast is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I play, I guess what goes around comes around. It's like a punchline. Yeah.

But I played the psychiatrist. That's kind of brilliant casting. Well, how do you figure, man? Yeah, because like it's a nice turn for you. It's a big turn for me. It forces you to realize maybe you've made some progress.

Don't judge me like that. What are you talking about? It was like I was really high and you morphed into a high school principal or a guidance counselor. You're making progress, dick. Really. Don't call me fucking dick. My guidance counselor called me dick. Most people would take that as a compliment.

Would you? I don't know. I know when I read that, really, I thought it was very exciting. What? Because it's podcast now. Ghosts do podcasts now. You know, you sort of start. Oh, is that true?

Ghosts? You think you're... Seriously? They call in the questions from another room. Yeah. And they play the... It's a guy with a Ouija board. What kind of book do you have?

Go, oh! Yeah. No, no. I read and it was, and I heard it. Yeah. And I love the guy. Which guy? They said, in your, I'm just doing some Google searching, just for briefly.

Getting up to speed? No, no. I know what you do. I'm just saying, I wanted to talk about podcasts, because I was, I've done a few of them, but only a few. Yeah. And it said that, allegedly, or historically, Marc Maron's podcast with Louis C.K. is considered the greatest podcast in the history of the medium. All 10 years.

No, no, but that's pretty impressive. Like at the time capsule, I just saw these guys landing on Mars. And I put the Mark Maron, LouisLouis CK podcast here on Uranus. Yeah. It's in. I know, congratulations to both of you. It's going up in spaceships in case they meet aliens. They want a good example.

Well, how could it be any better than that? Emotionally disturbed friendship. Can't get much better than that. No, it was very nice. It was, what was it? It was just a few months ago. Oh, was it there? It was a few months ago.

It was voted the best podcast of all time by Slate. No, it's very... I'm thrilled. At least it wasn't like a Klansman. I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled. You should be. I'm trying to feel good.

No, I was springing in. I wasn't being sarcastic. That's pretty fucking impressive. But how hard is it for you to feel good? Seriously. Do you feel good? Lately, now, it has to do... It's a function of age

and uh right now to to be look i don't preach about this shit i mean it's like going on stage and saying you know i'm a democrat i'm a progressive or i'm a right you lose half the audience if not more immediately right if now if you have your people there they know what to expect so they know where i'm at but uh when i talk about my sobriety, so few people are sober. Yeah. That they, ah, fuck this. I don't want to hear about this shit. It's monumental.

They're slamming fucking shit in their arms. So I don't talk about it, but you asked me the question. You got guys slamming shit in their arm in your audience now? At this point? They have only the seats that you can get online. Some old dopers. Some old dopers. Some old dopers who I understand their problem. So you're saying you think you've judged negatively because you're sober sometimes?

Because so few people who need it. They take it as a personal offense. Forget heroin. You're doing heroin. You're in. It's over. You're in the fucking grave. It's just a matter of when.

Good luck. Yeah, look at the farmer's overnight. You die March 3rd. And it's going to be 19 degrees in the dark. Hard to kick that shit for anybody. Yeah, it's hard to kick chocolate. Yeah, I had some this morning. I'm up.

I shoot my notes. But then you crash, though. You think I stole your notes? I don't know. I'm ethical. I shoot my chocolate. I shoot chocolate. Just slam a chocolate.

Weird, right? And if you really were a true narcissist, you'd be slamming up. You would make liquid out of your jokes. And snort them. Snort your fucking own material. Cook my own jokes. If you snorted your own material and got an erection, that would really be the end. Yeah, that's my evening, generally.

You listen to your tapes and jerk off. Yeah, there's me again. My wife leaves early for the meeting tonight. I'm going to try that. Yeah, I can barely watch that. I don't want to talk

about my fuck. Dude, I talk about it. Like, I'm just over 15. I'm coming up on 16. Oh, I was talking about notes,

but that's great. Congratulations. Right, but it's a great thing. It's unbelievable. If you need it, it's a great thing. I don't,

you know, I don't, you know, preach, program, or anything like that, but I talk about my sobriety all the time. And I tell you, I get a lot of mail, a lot of email, people thanking me, people asking me what they do, what do they do.

Yeah, both of us. Yeah, and I'll always answer it. The hand has to be there all the time. Right, it's true. So I do it. The hands were there for us. Right. So, you know, I'm very, it's delicate,

because I was on Chris Hayes the other night. Right. He wanted to talk about podcasts, whatever. But then he brings up this article about AA. Oh, that one on, that new one? Right. And the Atlantic, right? They write one of those every five years, right?

Yeah, of course. But it wasn't that he sandbagged me with it, but, you know, it's very delicate when you're in the thing. Yeah. So I said, look, I'm not a representative. No, right, we're not. Work for me, but I don't represent the organization or anything it's a solo trip man exactly so whatever you got to do however you get sober is fine yeah whatever you got to do but don't

slam things that help that was ridiculous yeah it was and that's what i said that's what i said to hayes i said you know who writes things like that people don't understand or drunks don't understand the bug or all right that's true could be a guy that that's got it look in the mirror right that's how you know yeah of course you know so sobriety the new show yeah the series is great because it's for two years already that's great so you're working and i'm working for my old friend and i chris albrecht again who i did most of my oh my god curb and all my but how far? You go back to the improv with him? We were comics in 1971. Isn't that so? He had a team with Bob Samuda.

Right, at the old improv, the original improv. But we would find... Yeah, but we weren't going on. Before that, right. It was like Klein and Dangerfield and Brenner and Pryor. So we had a fine... I played a health club. That was a good gig.

Right. In the middle of a health club. And they had all those gigs down in the village. Were you telling about those? Yeah, that's where we went. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Folk City was where Dylan and all those guys played. That was very surreal back then,

because there weren't that many comics. There was no comedy clubs? No, no comedy. The gigs were usually opening for singers? Yeah. If you got the big gig. If you got the gig. Right.

If you got the gig. It was all about getting the same shit together. You know, you had to get clean three or four monologues back to back to back to back for the tonight show right reduces because i had to know that you could come on three or four times right and you know so you had to do the same stuff it would be it'd be just well look i mean i'm an old guy now but i mean can you imagine having to do the same 30 fucking minutes but that's why i stopped doing specials after a while because i couldn't take it anymore i was my head was gonna fucking burst which is constantly they want you to do it over and over again see what you're doing

they wanted the directors need to know where i said you know what i don't need any i did carnegie hall in 89 and i said if i do that do i don't have to do the same material for anything anymore you know i think that's what i want to do i just want to do that once carnegie hall oh you should and you will just want to do it once and i can stop no you can't i because you know what listen to this i i tried to be i was sober i had like one drink of wine that day it was a great night yeah and i had used to bring here's the deal i used to bring this shit pours out of me. I'm not saying it's all good, but I had notes. So let's say I would do Caroline's three times a year in New York. Right.

Down to Seaport. Or the one downtown. The one downtown. The dinner club. Yeah. I would do it three times a year. Yeah. And I would make it a point to do a different hour and a half every time.

Yeah. So all of a sudden, after one year at Caroline's, because I had legal pads. Yeah. Like on Carnegie Hall, I had a big piano. I had like at least 10 hours of material. I mean, I had the stuff. But then some agent, I've had 100,000 agents and managers. No more managers.

I've had it with that shit. I don't want to wait for them looking out for my life when they're getting a floor job in Rome. When I come to the show, what happens? They're following around their young client, the new guy. Yeah. The $100,000 a week.

What's the show called? Space Gods. So, yeah. Yeah, but... But I just wanted to know how my ticket sales are in Tulsa. No, I, you know, his toilet didn't work.

Vinnie Crowman's toilet didn't work and he's getting $100,000. They follow the money, man, you know. Yeah, they do. They don't give a... They follow the money, man. Yeah, they do. They follow the money and pretend to be your friend. Do you work with management? I do. Good for you.

It's working, obviously. Well, it took me a long time. You better be careful. I don't want to fuck up the relationship. I had a management company. It took me a long time to understand that they weren't necessarily my friends, that was a working relationship, and that they weren't necessarily going to do a lot for me.

But I was with a big guy for a while and then I left. And the person I'm with now is pretty great. She's actually helpful. She gets you, man. She doesn't want to put you on the wrong. The old thing for me was, and I really enjoy acting. And this Blunt Talk show, I'm really playing a Freududian therapist who's twisted right so i'm really twisted how this is jonathan ames right he wrote this jonathan ames yeah he's something huh he is

a fucking brilliant twisted great writer man i'm proud i mean the words are like i mean going from curb where you make everything up you don't really miss that on this show because he's really quite solid oh man you would love it yeah i'm excited to see it yeah but uh so carnegie hall so you have one glass of wine yeah yeah i know but then everybody's i was in a you know i was about five years away from bottoming out crystal meth at that point so i wasn't doing crystal then but but I had 300 people. They're like a little party room in the basement. What basement? Not in the basement. It's Carnegie Hall.

It's in the den. Sylvie, get out of there. Stop eating the carpet. The den. No. The den at Carnegie Hall. Yeah, it's in the little porch. The game room.

With the jealousy windows. They had a fucking, they had a little room for a party. Right, sure. So the truth is, I did about an hour and 45 minutes, no opening act. And as I'm walking to the elevator, I couldn't wait to get a drink. In fact, Elton John once said that the only reason I wanted to finish a show was to get drunk. Wow, it's cool. I mean, subconsciously, I probably felt that way. I can't wait.

When I hear people say that about that, they only do it to get laid. The only reason I do shows is to receive love that I will reject. Reject because you don't believe you deserve it? Still? No, no, I'm getting better at accepting it. I can receive it. I'm okay, man.

I'm okay. I'm not angry. Once you realize that you're doing, you become an authentic voice of your generation what will it take to smack you around it's done i'm smacked by who by all of it i i've i've you know i'm so narcissistic i thought you were going to credit me for the smack no you just smacked me you gave me a second smack just then you're right but no i feel like i'm you know i'm i'm comfortable i feel like i'm funny i'm in my own skin. I'm all right. But some people feel

that you're crippled emotionally in terms of accepting all your blessings. Yeah, no, I am. They say that. No,

I know. And it comes out on your act too. No, I'm a little gratitude deficient. That's perfect. And,

you know, I have to be like, but I had to learn how to be, you know, empathetic. I had to learn how to listen.

There's a lot of things you got to learn as a selfish fuck. And you have the equipment. What'd you say? That was Bud Abbott, ladies and gentlemen, before he shot up a martini at the polo lounge. But it's happening.

I'm growing up, you know. Maybe someday I'll master the relationship thing. But everything else is fine. Yeah, that's right. You do an hour. Hour and 45. I do an up. Maybe someday I'll master the relationship thing, but everything else is fine. Yeah, that's right. So you do an hour and 45. I do an hour and 45. Carnegie Hall. Yeah.

Get off. You want to get drunk. I'll go to the elevator. I want to go to my dressing room. And crazily at the time, I didn't ask. And it should have been done for me. They didn't put it on the board. So I have no tape of the fucking show.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, shit. That's really, you know. Yeah. So, but. It was good though? I got a standing ovation.

So I go back and the manager runs after me and he says, and then it was cool. He says, you got to go back. I went, hey. I mean, I had never done a show that long. You know. Yeah. So I go back. I do another 15. had never done a show that long then you know yeah so i go back

i do another 15 because i had a whole decade of jokes literally i mean i had thousands so i would but i knew these things to put those yellow pages out there it would take me months to get like five or ten of these but they were all new and i and i laughed when i came up with i wrote it down you know so if i looked down and saw circus i could pop my head up and do 15 minutes on it. I had at least, my eyes had to see it. Yeah. I couldn't remember it. Right, yeah.

So I did it, walked off. The manager got me again. You got to go back. I went back another time. Third time, Carnegie Hall. Third of the third. Three standing ovations. Then I said to him, I'm out.

Leave him wanting more. I felt I was, you know. So I go upstairs and I had hundreds of gifts, all champagne. Oh. And I got fucking hammered. Yeah. And I went down to the den. Yeah.

Took the porch. The party. And a whole lifetime of people were there, from kindergarten to showbiz people. Yeah. And I was a total fucking mess. Just staggering around. poor dean martin towards the end you know yeah i i couldn't i was blinded by the booze hey matt are you you're sad about that now yeah i well okay because the show was the thing right and i was still

active drunk right yeah you know so but it you. So how do you approach playing a Freudian therapist? I mean, what's the angle? Well, the angle is just that it's, you know, Hollywood doctors will do anything to, you know, to help their clients. So I'm the network shrink. Okay. Just like hotels.

So they brought you in. You're a fixer. I'm a fixer, yeah. Yeah, give him some pills. But he's bright, though. Well, I mean, if the script calls for things that might sound unethical, he might do it. Right. But he's, you know, all therapists are.

I've always had this thing with doctors. Yeah. That they were projecting, if I would tell them things. Yeah. One, I always thought immediately, whether they were alone or straight, gay, married, or whatever, that night. So, Richard Lewis, you know, the neurotic fucking,

let me tell you what he dreamt of. There's a camel with a rabbi jerking off during Passover, and he had a waterbed made of matzahs, and then he woke up screaming, ah, what are you going to get? What's the specials here? That they're going to use celebrities to get laughs. Do you think they do?

Yes, but worse than that, I think that they, let's say they're not fucking. Right. Okay? Yeah. And let's say in a relationship it's, you know, the lust factor is, you know, nothing is better than that anyway, as we all probably discussed. They say, you know, you don't have to have intercourse, man. They don't say it like Sammy Davis Jr.

Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Hey, dig it, man. You don't have to fuck. You don't have to have intercourse, man. They don't say it like Sammy Davis Jr. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Hey, dig it, man. You don't have to fuck. You don't have to put your penis in. Yeah. You can leave it there. You can even be flaccid, man.

Yeah. Dig it. Yeah. Just kiss her. Tell her you love her. Yeah, baby. And I said, then I would tell her, no, no. Here's what I like.

Yeah. You know? Sure. See someone for the first time up the back of the restaurant in the alleyway. Yeah. And it's no amends needed. We both want to fuck hard and leave. Yeah.

You tell her that. Yeah. But she'll say, no, that's not intimacy. Yeah. I go, hey, who's looking for intimacy? I want to come really in a big way, man. And she says, well, you can do that with your wife. But I would say, and my wife and I have a good relationship and sexually too but we have both been around

sure and we also that's the secret to my life now my wife is i got married at 57 yeah so that's a different route and you you know i mean i'm almost there you're never married before no i didn't so i did all the drugging and yeah theizing. Without doing it behind someone's back. Good for you. Yeah, no, it was. No, I cheated on, not on my wife, but everybody else. Sure. Everybody else.

Yeah. And I was just, you know, just my cross addiction was that too. Sure. But you're saying that you think that these celebrity shrinks, they use. They might, yeah. I think the one I have, I play Dr. Weiss. I got to tell you a trippy thing what i had a best friend who died who was a rock and roll star at ohio the higher state university back in the 60s when i went yeah 66 to 70 i stayed there as long as i can yeah it's a whole other

deal i told my father do you know kurosawa is and truffaut i want to stay here and get a master's instead of that you come home when i said kurosawa is and Truffaut? I want to stay here and get a master's. And suddenly my dad, you come home. When I said Kurosawa and Truffaut, it was Kosher caterer. Because I could have gotten a master's because he was paying for my bills. That's it. I was an upper middle class son. You're rolling meat. But I said, yeah, yeah.

You're making the fruit salad with the Russian immigrants with your hands. And chanting Gregorian chants. You're coming in. Kurosawa who? Yeah. Roll some turkey up and make it nice on the platter. You mean Phil Kurosawa, the gardener? No, no, no.

This is a genius, Dad. Poor guy didn't understand it, but I knew he was desperate. So Kenny Weiss was my best friend, and he was a rock and roll star in Columbus, and he was with the James Gang for a while. Yeah. With Joe Walsh? Briefly, but things didn't work out on the big. He had a kid, and he was only 19.

It's tough, man. So he couldn't make the trip out to Hollywood and do that thing, but he couldn't blame that. You can't blame anybody for anything. You just do what you want to do. He could have still worked out with his son who's a cool kid and great he has great two great kids but he's gone yeah and uh and i he meant he taught me rock and roll you know we just line up he would say back and you got to imagine back in 66 he said you ever hear this guy rod

stewart oh man procol harum and, and all these, it was classic rock. He was my guy. Yeah. But he was a real, he read everything. He was a real intellectual. He said, you got to read The White Room, man. You got to read everything. You got to read The Ginger Man.

You got to read this. You got to read Frederick Exling. You got to, no, he was my guy. Yeah. My intellectual touchstone and my rock and roll touch because he was the star in columbus when he didn't go big time right so but he once he really had to make a living he changed and became a psychologist he was dr weiss uh-huh so when i got the audition sides they call you know the you know the audition pages it said dr weiss and i was

hit like a fucking i mean a spiritual hit like yeah because i was a really good friend to him before he passed away and uh and i said you know sounds like a lifetime we went kenny you give him something you're helping me yeah he said no you're just you're in yeah i thought i was having this little fucking conversation and he had a lot you know you know i don't know when you start when did you start going on stage there's a point i want to make uh i think i was 19 yeah see in my time i had to graduate graduate college all these part-time jobs gonna get fed up with fucking life feel hopeless right and then find your answer through comedy and then ultimately drugs and sex yeah as long as that lasts but um so he told me uh weiss had all these bands and that's why a

lot of our friends like you're talking about you know keith called you and would because they had bands at 10 so like we're listening i'm in college and i'm friends with a lot of these guys who are already legends right right and ringo if it wasn't for Ringo I wouldn't have met my wife really trippy really all this shit trips me out yeah but I'm not being grandiose it's just a surreal shit but anyway so I may just finish so um he Kenny uh Kenny Weiss from Columbus had this band Trish Tram Shandy which was a novel in the 18th century I think yeah and he loved the book it was a volume a lot of volumes and i never read it so i get to uh the set and i looked and i meet the director the first and a producer of blunt talk yeah his name is tristram tristram same spelling really and i went whoa

what the fuck yeah what the fuck is right times a thousand so i said this is it and then when i i found out that they, you know, when I read it, it was almost a done deal. You know, I just nailed it. And I just, and so when I go on stage, I mean on stage, on the set, and I hear action, I'm so fucking calm, man. Yeah.

I just feel him cursing through my veins, Kenny. And he let, you know, I actually asked Jonathan Ames, who's really an extraordinary cat. I said, you think it could be Dr. Kenny Weiss? And he says, well, they were trying to clear the name. kenny and he let you know i actually asked jonathan ames who's really an extraordinary cat i said you think it could be dr kenny weiss and he says well they were trying to clear the name i don't know how you clear name yeah but it doesn't matter because you don't have first names all the time did they clear it no they couldn't clear it but i've never used the name whatever in your mind my well i'm dr weiss that's plenty and his kids know about it and his widow yeah and they're

tripping on this man. It's a hell of a story. So you use him as like a template? Yeah, he was a real eccentric genius. And I knew him in our rock and roll days too. Yeah. And you knew him all through it. What, he got sick?

Yeah, he had a lot of health problems and he died really young in his 50s, late 50s. Well, that's a hell of a tribute, hell of a bit of coincidences. Yeah, I think so. Right? Yeah, I think. But I want to just segue into,

I was talking about the notes in Carnegie Hall. Like my 18th manager, I only had him for two days because he said one thing to me. I don't even know what it was. Two days, that was my record. Because I'm a people pleaser because I got so abused emotionally that even if a doctor gives me a bad fucking diagnosis and i go to get another

doctor i'll say and the doctor said well come back i'll go why am i going back to a doctor who wanted to rip my shoulder out right for a torn rotator and you don't want to hurt his feelings that's exactly right yeah but when it gets into the fucking health area where it is with me recently. Yeah. I don't want to go back to this doctor anymore. So I have this trainer because I have torn this bad back. He says, what are you fucking going back to that guy? Yeah.

He's a nice guy. Yeah. I've been with him a long time. Yeah. But he gave you a bad fucking diagnosis. Even the prognosis sucked. Right. Well, there's one mistake.

You make one mistake. That's right. Yeah, the guy's been great. Ridiculous. Yeah, no, but so- Fear of change, too. Yeah, so this guy was talking of fear of change. So this manager I had for two days, I forget what he said, but I said, that's it.

Over. Yeah. I'm sorry. 48 hours. Yeah. Gave him enough time to drive home, tell his wife I just signed Richard Lewis. Saw him the next day. Drive home and tell him. You're fired. Yeah. He said something that was

so brutally wrong and stupid. You know, yeah, it was unbelievable. Must have been. It was unbearable. Can't remember it though. That's good. I can't. That's good. I almost had like a blackout. It's traumatic. It's post-traumatic stress disorder. Yeah. Post-traumatic management syndrome. P.S.

P.T. M.T. M. S. Yeah. Want to do a benefit for acts that are struggling because of their bad management? Isn't that most

of show business? We would sell out that fucking, huh? Isn't that most of show business? It is. Every night at the

comedy store. That's why you can't blame anyone but yourself if you're with people that aren't doing the right thing for you. Get out of it. It's like a relationship.

Get the fuck out of it. You're doing it all yourself anyways. They're waiting to take credit for it. Yeah, and well- They're waiting to move. But some appreciate their clients. I've had some people that- But then after a while, if they're-

As you said, if they have some new chick who's making a woman- And also, sometimes if you- Woman, I meant. If you don't do- You know, a lot of times- What I realized with my managers, we had a lot of shots. It didn't work. And, you know, he didn't want to fire me.

I didn't want to fire him. It's like a relationship. You know, it's sort of like you don't know what to do anymore, but you don't have the guts to say, like, it's over. But you think you're making a mistake, too. Right, yeah, because, like, then what am I going to do? I'm going to be out there without anybody? But it all worked out. He's a huge guy, and we're friends.

They're not the parents we never had that's right and it's really easy to mistake them for that oh fucking a yeah and you know so anyway long story short he said to me the manager for 248 hours yeah i wish i can remember i'll probably remember driving back with the mental case and don't fire him he's a lot of fun you got it you should do a show just tape this with him guy okay it's unbearable and it's funny that's the name of the show unbearable unbearable driver talbot the limo driver and he had a nobody says he was almost gonna park and get a globe out of the fucking trunk and he always says i'm why are you getting a globe i'm a professional professional i said that's the boot of italy you fucking idiot. Anyway, so let me just- Right around here.

Yeah. So this guy said, Richard, why don't you try doing standup the traditional way? And I immediately fought back. I said, what do you mean? Don't bring any notes on stage. I said, wait a minute. This was like a thing that was important to me because it changed my life on stage. He said, I said, why?

It hasn't stopped me. This is years after Carnegie Hall and all the specials. I brought notes on it. He said, because people will think it's a work in progress. And then it hit me like a fucking bolt. I went, it is a work in progress. But I can't remember the way I free associate like you do, too. I bring shit up there.

I don't always look at it, though. Oh, you do bring it? Where do you put it? I put it on a music stand sometimes. Oh, you do? Or sometimes I throw it on the floor. Well, that's cool. I mean, I did it up until about eight or ten years ago.

And he says, and I said, you know what? It is a work in progress. And if you're playing, like, I was doing it in Vegas. I said, yeah, people don't, they just want to see you do that. I said, yeah, but I can't remember this shit. And isn't that a cool thing that I'm trying? That's what it was. I said, I think this is a good thing to fans.

This is right out of the fucking gate. I'm fearless,'s what it was. I said, I think this is a good thing to fans. This is right out of the fucking gate. I'm fearless, man. But just by looking down for one second, he thought that he eradicated that theory. And I bought it. And here's the bottom line is this. I am tortured now on stage. I ad-lib half the show. I spend 3,000 more hours.

3,000. Hyperbole. I used to have my notes. And that would be like four hours of stuff if I turned it around yeah I said I'm stuck I mean I'm I'm I'm cool for this whole tour yes and I would make a copy of the sheet and just have that one sheet I know I do that too but yeah but I don't have the sheet now now I just have my computer and I have to put it in categories I'm in my hotel going over like all right low self-esteem uh marriage uh you know my you know you don't

bring anything up nothing i haven't for 10 years and my performance level level skyrocketed yeah because for television for seven minutes when you consider doing i can do that i don't need a pad for that but sometimes i bring no no but i'm saying you just figure out what you want to talk about you talk three minutes i talk through hey thanks very much you're going to be at the ham and in your case you're going to be at 300 theaters in a row. You nervous? You nervous? What do they say there?

Scared. No, I'm not a three. I know. I just, I get. Hyperbole. No, no. Scared is not hyperbole for you. That's just warming up.

I feel good. You're not, I didn't mean scared. I mean. I think I have to, you know, it's something I have to do. I have to diminish the joy. Listen, I realize why I to, you know, it's something I have to do. I have to diminish the joy. Listen, that's why I always dug you. Preparation is diminishing the joy and sitting in the possibility of like, oh, I don't know. Listen, take this.

I don't mean to sound grandiose in any which way. And this is only because I'm praising you and it seems like it's a I could stop now and not press send but I want to I so identify with you

and you have a totally authentic voice and I love talking about you and hearing people talk about you oh thanks but when I saw you initially

yeah you know the last scene of Rosemary's Baby yeah and this is only a one moment thing what's wrong with its eyes no that i saw like because i never had a child yeah i just felt like this would have been the greatest son and unfortunately you would have been fucking reamed and it was just after seeing one little bit i went so you would be half a sheep yeah a little bit of

me a little bit of your head not that you took from me it's just that you reminded me of all the fucking pain and as it turns out our lives are pretty similar in a lot of ways yeah and uh you know so you're a fucking joy for me to watch i mean you're your own man totally yeah but when i first saw you sure i said there's my son i never had yeah well if i fuck somebody at woodstock you could have been my son i would have been the guy yeah you would have been the kid yeah i think i obviously were you know in the same wheelhouse i'm not even it sounds like that's that's half ass praise it's meant to be that i think you're just i appreciate it but are you sure you can

garner from that all gold it's nothing like hey come on no nothing nothing all right cool i was a huge yeah absolutely all right yeah huge fan of yours and i definitely related to you all my life so you know i mean you were my son you had no choice and i had to take you to that clinic you know in england to take the sheep you want to see if i'm really yeah it'd be a relief i was real it turns out i'm richard lewis's kid that explains everything imagine that that would be a horror oh it'd been amazing no you had your you know you just came listen you know people come from certain trees i came from certain trees you know and i was blown away by the free associating of prior and and bruce and uh you know you know bruce had a overwhelmed you know a mother

and lived in brooklyn the mother was you know a mother and lived in Brooklyn the mother was just overbearing yeah and Woody the same thing and it's like you know you get you know you come from a certain place yeah you know Shelly Berman was real emotional these I mean these were giants and you hear some of their stuff yeah so there's some people that seem to like like you know they're too numerous to mention but guys like Stephen Wright seem to have grown their own tree in the middle of a fucking desert. Yeah, they have a certain control over it. You know, there's that need to like connect and be in the moment and shit. What are we talking about?

Us. Oh, us. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We have to. You know, there's guys like Stephen Wright, they manage their time better. But I mean, I don't know where he came from. I know where we came from.

Yeah, I don't know where that comes from. But I don't care. We have to both. I mean, there's others, of course, but you've been doing it, you know, because you're really like in that fucking mode now, you know. I mean, I- Compelled. Compelled to, no matter, even if I have two or three months off,

like I'll be in New York in May for this book, for the Reflections from Hell, and I'll be, I always pop into Caroline's room. I'm in Chicago in May too. I'm just happy I have an open heart about it. I'm just saying, even if I haven't, I'm not on that road tour right now. No, I'm going to go to Zanies for six nights and I'll go to Caroline's. So I'm not thinking about it.

I'm not on that theater tour right now. Right. Or sometimes I would mix and match. Some cities, I'm not going to sell out a thousand seats in Utah. Yeah. I'm doing clubs. Look, I think it going to sell out a thousand seats in Utah. Yeah. I'm doing clubs. Look, I think it's all going to go away at any second. So, like, I, and I love doing stand-up.

Like, I just go, I'll go to the comedy store now. I only go to the comedy store. I won't go anywhere else. The comedy store's turned around again. Dude, it's huge again. Oh, really? Yeah, we made it hip again. I don't know how the hell it happened.

Wow. Like, they're selling out the fucking main room. Really? On the weekends again. Wow. It's're selling out the fucking main room. Really? On the weekends again. Wow. It's crazy. Young people. Doesn't feel evil.

It's bizarre, dude. Wow. Bizarre. So that's all I'll do is I'll go there and I'll work some shit out and I'll do these other things. But what about colleges? I mean, I had to stop them. Never did them.

Oh, yeah. Never did them. When you start looking at 17-year-olds. I don't think I'm their bag. I have a very specific type of person that comes. oh yeah when you start looking at 17 year olds it's not I don't think I'm their bag I have a very specific type of like a person

that comes like the clubs are always very happy with me because they're grown ups they tip well not animals I don't know how

at my age I was able to pull together an audience that's you know mature people they don't go out no one goes out

no no that's right to have them come I wrote a joke like 40 years ago when I was playing colleges because I started at 23, you know, four years after you. So all of a sudden I'm 28. I'm struggling.

I'm going, what the fuck, man? What am I doing? To use your phrase, I'm sorry. But I, so the best thing I got out of the college is which I slowly didn't want to do. It was interesting. Colleges, you know, they're too young. Yeah, exactly. I can't be real. be real like true because i like to just like unpeel the layers on stage

like you yeah so um so i wrote one thing i came out of that i said you know i'm playing these colleges this is like a joke i did on a special like 40 years ago or i wrote right i said you know they don't understand the premises so i got to change it so I say you know Adlai Stevenson I mean Madonna I mean Madonna and that was it for me and I'm walking away I'm walking away you know

I had to walk away from colleges alright so this is good we're good yeah it's all good so we got you got the book which is cute

and nice and beautiful yeah the artist called Toto it's a really it's a cool little book and the TV show Blunt Talk on Stars starting this summer for two years.

I love the Albrecht stuff because he was at HBO. Yeah. And he started as a doorman at the improv. Doorman, then a comedy with Bob Samuda. I don't know if I've met the guy. And then he was with HBO for forever. I should interview him. He's a brilliant executive.

I mean, he just picks people and he lets you alone. That's what he did with HBO with Curb. Well, I'm looking forward to seeing you do the thing. Yeah, Blunt Talk is, I think, you know, I'm talking about a show I'm a recurring shrink in. The homage to Dr. Weiss. That's right. And this box set. What is the box set?

When did that come out? Things that I've- No one sent me that. Why can I have that? It's a little documentary of my house that I've been in for 25 years. This is the bundle of nerves thing? Yeah. I boxed that and I think I preempted Saturday Night Live,

Diary of a Young Comic back in 79. It's all in there. It's all in there, yeah. A movie, Drunks, that was never out. I saw that movie, didn't I? I don't know. It's pretty cool. It's a heavy movie.

Really? You play an addict. Yeah, a junkie. I saw that. I saw that. Yeah, it's pretty cool. And then an old special from the bottom line that never got out on DVD.

Really? From what year? From 95. About a year, about six months sober, so I wanted to put it out there. Oh, I'd like to see that. Yeah, it's okay. I mean, you know, when you look at stuff 20 years back, you go, oh, gee, you know. But you still know it's you.

That's always been, like, it took me a long time to realize that. I see stuff before I even knew how to be a comic. I'm like, I was really trying. You know, like, I could see myself there. Well, maybe your performance of it, but the jokes are probably still funny to you. Kind of. No, just like that I can identify my voice. Because I'm a guy that always, I can always start like, you know, I'm not where I need to be.

You know, I don't have a point of view or whatever. And then I look back and I'm like, you were always you. What the fuck were you going nuts about? You know? But you, you'll change. If something crazy happens to you this afternoon it'll be on stage very soon I talked about pizza

for seven minutes last night I don't know what the hell that was about but do you listen you have to I recorded it

but isn't that that was always torturing me I don't listen to it I record them all oh you don't I used to listen to everything

now I don't record either it's very existential for me now I can't take it I record I bring the pad up on stage and I don't look at it and I record and I don't record either. It's very existential for me now. I can't take it anymore. I record, I bring the pad up on stage and I don't look at it. And I record

and I don't listen. I think that's it. We can't top that stupidity. It was great to see you. I love you, man. Richard Lewis. Always consistently Richard Lewis, that guy.

And I am not like Richard Lewis. I have my own version of aggravated neurotic bullshit. I think that's clear to everybody. All right? We are kindred spirits. All right, look. Go to WTFpod.com for all your WTF pod needs. You know what I'm saying?

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But check those tour dates because I might be in a town near you. WTFpod.com slash calendar. Right now, we are playing probably a slightly out of tune Telecaster through a Hummingbird. That is an Earthquaker Hummingbird. And that is also running through a Ghost Echo, also an Earthquaker device. Boomer lives! It's a night for the whole family.

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