WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 668 - Bill Burr / 2015 In Review

Episode Date: December 31, 2015

Bill Burr returns to WTF for the first time in six years. He talks with Marc about big banks, the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, playing drums for Slash, and his new animated series on Netflix, F is for Family. Also, Marc bids farewell to Lemmy and looks back at a year of great conversations, including highlights from President Obama, Terry Gross, Keith Richards, and more. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goal tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries ice yes we deliver those goaltenders no but chicken tenders yes because those are groceries and we deliver those too along with your favorite restaurant food alcohol and other everyday essentials order uber eats now for alcohol you must be legal drinking age please enjoy responsibly product availability varies by region see app for details all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fucking

ears happy new year to you if you're listening to this thursday you got to get through tonight to make it to tomorrow, which would mean happy new year, the beginning. So make it through tonight. Those of you who are listening to this on Thursday, please drive carefully. If you can, I don't want to be a buzzkill, but don't fucking go out at all. How would that be? If you're not alone and you have some people in your life and you love

them and you're you have relatively easy access to getting over there or them coming to you before sundown do that well maybe i am being a buzzkill do whatever you got to do go party stay up all night do a bunch of blow get all fucked up but god get a ride will you just get a ride or maybe just reflect a bit reflect a bit i do want to say a few words about the passing of lemmy kilmister lemmy was in on this show i don't know if it was his last interview and um um it was interesting for me to spend time with that guy because i i know i know motorhead i know the first couple records i listened to them but you know lemmy has been a warrior a rock and roll warrior and ever almost seemingly eternal presence and

rock if you didn't know lemmy if you didn't know motorhead you knew lemmy's face you knew those carbuncles on the side of his face you knew that mustache you knew the attitude that came through even a still image of that guy you knew he meant it you knew he meant business you knew you knew he was the real fucking deal in a world where there aren't that many real a real fucking deal in a world where there aren't that many real deals so for me it was an amazing treat and honor to talk to the guy i think we had a nice interview i knew he didn't look well i knew he didn't feel well but that doesn't make it any easier to uh to lose a guy and to have to deal with that. But as I said, Lemmy was fucking rock and roll. Lemmy was the real fucking deal. He lived it, and he lived it all the way to the end on his own terms with a lot of fuck you in him.

And that's what good rock and roll requires just the right amount or even a little bit more than necessary of fuck you so lemmy you will be missed and i did want to uh to to to give you a heads up there was some some great Lemmy talk, a great Lemmy story on episode 656 of WTF with Robert Trujillo and Flea talking bass, talking about Lemmy. Lemmy, the interview I did with him, is still up and available. That's episode 634. And I just, if you didn't listen to it or you don't know who Lemmy is or it's not necessarily important to you, I just want to share this clip with you. It's a clip of Lenny and he's telling a joke. And it's actually pretty touching hearing him tell it now, given that we've lost him. And so enjoy this side of Lemmy.

All right. And then go listen to Ace of Spades. What's your favorite joke, Lemmy? On the radio? Yeah, no, we're free to say whatever the fuck we want. Yeah, yeah. Probably the best one I got was Jesus walking down heaven, you know, checking everybody out.

Yeah. And everybody's blissful, fucking harps and halos and that. And Jesus, little old fella sitting in a corner, crying his fucking eyes out, you know, miserable as fuck. And he says, excuse me, he said, you're in heaven, you know what I mean? He said, people go to church five times a week, every week of their lives to get up here. He said, and you're here, you've made it.

So what's the matter? The old guy says, well, he said, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause any trouble, he said, but when I was on earth, I was just a poor carpenter, you know, and we had nothing. And we had this little boy, and I wanted him to follow me into the carpentry business, you know. But then he said he had to go away on a mission

and run off into the desert with 12 fellas, and we never saw him again, he said. And I was hoping, he said, that when I got up here, you know what I mean, I'd see him again, but I'd lose everywhere and I can't find him. It was really cracking me up. And Jesus was tears streaming down his face, goes, Father, and the guy says, Pinocchio.

Pinocchio. Rest in peace, Lemmy. You left some good stuff. Thanks for coming by this planet, this garage. So now let's talk about New Year's. New Year's. The New Year. Again, fucking be careful, will you?

Could you please just be careful out there i don't know man i you know are you really do you really need to be somebody to count down how many times you've been in a just a just a room full of idiots or i've said before i think i say it every year how many times have you been in the car when the clock strikes 12 just like oh this this party's fucking spent this party's done this party's over this party blows let's just go let's just get to let's get that other place man let's get there before 12 and there you are in the car along with a bunch of other idiots in cars trying to get to that right party honking your horn at new year's giving a hug to whoever's in the car giving him a kiss and then having a minute or two into the new year where where you got to be like that sucked kind of glad you guys are here

glad you're here baby should we just get something to eat or what what i do is i stay home that's what i do maybe watch a few minutes of the ball dropping i never understood that ball drop i guess it happens to everybody that's a fucking horrible joke happy new year to you though and look why don't we do this why don't we do this try this even if even if it wasn't a good year for you even because i'm going to do this i gotta i'm saying this out loud to myself but but i had a good year there were ups and downs there was emotional issues there were mistakes made but this is it.

There's no such thing as a clean slate anymore with the Internet, is there? No more clean slates, but there is a new year. And there is a moment here where you can take a second and just look at some of the good things. Even if it stunk, even if it was terrible, there's got to be something to be grateful for. You got to be grateful to be alive, even if that is not all it's racked up to be on any given day. There's got to be some gratitude. There's got to be some self-acceptance.

Give yourself a break. Don't hurt yourself tonight. It's a little recovery trick. Make a gratitude list and just feel it because i blow right through it but there are things to be grateful for there are problems there are personal problems there are problems in the world but maybe you know just just reflect a little bit on my on what you might do differently but also on what you're grateful for. And if you have love in your heart or in your life, be fucking thankful for that.

If you're capable of that and it exists within you. Maybe things will turn out better globally, politically, financially for you or whatever. But strip it all away. Fuck politics. Fuck the world. Fuck your money problems. Fuck your broken heart. And just find that little bit of space within yourself that is truly you and give it a little pat on the little head and say, we're okay. And there's a lot of things in life that make it amazing. Do that.

Will you? Tonight? Today? Do that. So Bill Burr has got some pretty aggressive fans who've been pestering me for weeks for this uh little chat i did with bill you know i got my friends they come in here sometimes they got a a thing i'll get a call from a buddy hey i got this thing you mind if i come talk about the thing on the podcast there mark and i'm like yeah sure sure come over and talk

about the thing for a few minutes i usually usually call them shorties, but you know, with Bill, hadn't seen him in a while. We had a little catching up to do, so it turned into a little more than that. He's got this great animated thing that he's got going. He's going to tell you about that. F is for family.

And we talked about some other stuff. So this is me and the great human that is bill you can get anything you need with uber eats well almost almost anything so no you can't get snowballs on uber eats but meatballs and mozzarella balls yes we can deliver that uber eats get almost almost anything order now product availability may vary by region see app for details calgary is an opportunity-rich city home to innovators, dreamers, disruptors, and problem solvers. The city's visionaries are

turning heads around the globe across all sectors each and every day. They embody Calgary's DNA. A city that's innovative, inclusive, and creative. And they're helping put Calgary and our innovation ecosystem on the map as a place where people come to solve some of the world's greatest challenges. Calgary is on the right path forward. Take a closer look at CalgaryEconomicDevelopment.com. So, all right, you know, I tell you, Bill, I've known you a long time, and I get to screen him for the cartoon. Uh-huh. And there's part of me, you know, you know the deal.

There's part of me that's like, ah, fucking cartoon. I like that you call it a cartoon. That's what I call it. That animated series is a little too highbrow for me. Well, yeah, but, you know, like, I'm not necessarily a cartoon guy, are you? Do you watch Family Guy? You watch The Simpsons? Really? Oh, yeah.

I watch South Park. It's the best social commentary. South Park, fine, yes. No, I agree with you. I don't watch it much. For the last 20 years on TV. And I watch Axe Cop, Major Lazer, all that stuff. Oh, you do?

Oh, my God. I love that stuff. I got to watch more. Let's see. Oh, dude. It's like- My point is- It's like Pink Floyd made a cartoon sometimes. Some of the stuff they come up with. I was on a couple of cartoons. I'm on Adventure Time, one episode of Adventure Time, play a flying squirrel or a non-flying squirrel. Of course you did. I could have told

you you were going to get that gig the first time I met you. I got a regular gig on Harvey Beaks and McCranky Raccoon. I'm a cranky raccoon. I'm involved. That's good. With animation. You're in it, but you're just not into it. Well, I don't watch it. I don't watch anything, though. So I'm like, all right, I'll watch Bill's cartoon.

And then I'm watching it, and I'm like, oh, this is good, 70s. I'm like, still a cartoon. But then at some point, I'm like completely emotionally engaged. Nice. Yeah, yeah. You know, like 10 minutes, however, 12 minutes in, I'm like, what's going to happen? Then all of a sudden the kids came to life.

The father that you're playing, he came to life and the time period came to life and I found I was very emotionally moved. Very nice. Is that what I was supposed to do? Yeah, well, the mission statement basically was how the whole thing came about. F for family it's called. F is for family, yeah. the mission statement basically was how the whole thing came about.

F for family, it's called. F is for family, yeah. How it came about was I was initially just going to make little five-minute vignettes. Right. I was going to pay for it, just throw it up on my website, and it was all based on how we look like the Brady Bunch. We look like a Norman Rockwell painting of a family. Right.

And we would always do this Norman Rockwell-esque stuff like, hey, let's go get a Christmas tree. Right. But it was all the dysfunction between that idea and then the end when we were decorating the tree. I'm like, that's where the gold is. That's where the stand-up is. And, you know, I've been telling those stories throughout my career. And, you know, as I started older, and the generation that wore helmets when they rode bicycles,

and helicopter parents, and play dates, they came up, and a lot of them still came up like me, but there was that social pressure to groan at bullying, and not laugh at it the way you did when you were kids. Right, so your generation, you mean,

that has a family now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So these kids came along, and then they were just grown, and I got frustrated. Yeah. So that's how I started thinking, I'll do the vignette.

Then of course I'm a comedian, I procrastinate, I never did it. Right. And then I just happened to have a general meeting with Wild West, Vince Vaughn's company.

Uh-huh. And they were like, what do you got? You got any ideas for TV shows? And I was like, no. Nothing I ever pitch ever gets made. I don't,

and all it does, I get tied up in a development deal, and then I can't be on shows that are actually on the air. So I don't want to get tied up in one of those. That's a sucker's game. So you guys are making movies. I like movies.

If you can shoehorn me in there, I'll play anybody you want. And they're like, all right, cool, but we like you, blah, blah, blah. And as I was walking out the door, I literally just, you know, I got this cartoon idea, and they were looking to do one literally as and they just pulled me in the next thing you know the uh we got mike price the great mike price from uh the simpsons co-created the show and uh it was all your idea though the the the inception of it but the show itself is is literally like you know 20 people sure sure but this is based on your family. The character I play is an amalgam

of everybody's dad there. Yeah, right. I wanted my family, my dad, everybody to be able to sit down and watch this and enjoy the show the way you're going to.

But every once in a while I'll be like, I remember doing that. Oh yeah, right. Yeah. But not, but nobody's going to know what happened

or what didn't happen. Right, right. But then also, so not, they're not going to be like, no shit, he's throwing me under the bus. Yeah. Kid's throwing me under the bus. Yeah.

Kid's throwing me under the bus. No, I respect the fact that I was dumb enough to pick a job to get into the public eye and they didn't. So I respect the fact that they don't want to be. But there's a few things like- I'm still learning that lesson. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, there's a line in that thing, I'll put you through that fucking wall. Yeah. Like my dad did say that. And there was a moment one time he was yelling at us outside we had this field next to the house and he just sort of randomly pointed towards the woods

he was so ramped up we pissed him off i'll be hey i'll put you to that fucking wall and we had all we could do not to laugh because it's like dad we're in we're standing in the woods and but the thing about my dad was like you know three days later you could bring it up and tell the story and he would laugh his ass off. Right. So it was, you know, it's, you know, that volatile moment. A little hot-headed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean.

Yeah, you don't have that at all. No. Geez, I wonder. I take after my mom. No, no, I have that in spades. But I think a lot of times. No, he turns out to be, the great thing about that character in the show is that there's an edge to it. But, you know, he's a sympathetic character. You know what I what i mean like the balance of it is good you know he's not

a monster you know i think that if you saw that father now you know out in public doing that with his kids like you said that generation of uh yeah of pussies would be like that's you know someone should call child services but you know when you're in the dynamic and you realize the guy's got shortcomings and weaknesses of his own there's a humility to it and you like the guy. Yeah, his heart's in the right place. Right, that's it. A lot of times I would always say to a lot of people in my life, talking about the curse of having a temper, is what happens is even when you're in the right, you become wrong because they can then say like, all right, yeah, I shouldn't have done this and this, but that's no reason to call me a cunt. Yeah, or everyone's crying

just because you didn't have the right breakfast. Yeah, I know what you mean. Right, yeah, because once you escalate to a certain point, it's no longer about right or wrong. It's about- You're just an asshole. Yes, that's what it becomes. So that has been my big thing with my temper.

Yeah, oh really? Is I've tried to, and i try not to lose my mind i try not to lose like the other night i was driving with my wife and we were going over to go see a movie and i made it all the way to santa monica without without hollywood yeah yeah without flipping out oh it's hard right as i was pulling into the the the where i was gonna park some asshole did something and i completely lost my shit. Two about, like, I was on seven. I wasn't even close to 10.

But not at her, just at the situation. Just at LA. The injustice. It drove me nuts that, you know, the fucking robot lady says that you're at the place that you're at, and you're not, and then you got to figure out where you're at.

Right. I'm talking about the GPS thing. And then I realized, oh, I'm not here, and I looked in the rearview mirror. There was nobody there. My wife asked me one question. I looked for half a second, answered and looked in the rear view mirror and there was like six cars coming. And I swear to God, it's like the Truman show out here. It's like, oh, he wants to back up. All right, roll in all these cars. And I

completely lost my shit. But I made a joke. I said, well, I almost did it. I almost made it. Was she all right? No, I don't think she is i think that i think it it really affects her in a negative way and it's something i'm trying to work on because um they fill up i was gonna say that i don't sometimes understand the tension that it creates but it's like yes i do because i grew up in a house when you're just walking around on eggshells you're like yeah you don't want that fucking guy when's that guy gonna blow and i hate that i became that guy because i always said i wasn't gonna be that guy so that's something that i i've been trying to work on how do you do it i mean what do you because like i have the same like lately with

me i'm like i'm moving to the mountains i want to get i want to get out all together like because a lot of it a lot of it is bullshit la a lot of it is traffic related i i mean it's like i can't i have a hard time managing that shit in the relationship situation i'm a little better but i just i just stew i don't yell anymore i how are you at stewing uh the stewing is is more i i wouldn't say stew to me i'm more pouting oh really i didn't get my way and now i'm gonna sit here and just not talk to you as an adult literally acting like an eight-year-old. So, yeah, there's a lot of embarrassing facets of my- Anger?

Yeah, everything. It just all leads to like, you know, I wish I could be that, I wish I could have that chill vibe. Do we, though? Do we? I mean, I'd like to be able to turn it on and off, but I mean, like a lot of times, like I don't want to admit it right because people ask me all that all the time do you think that

you need your your your craziness or your neurotic shit or your anger to be funny and I'm like I don't need it you know but then it never goes away you know so I'm not doing anything to fix or behave differently around some fundamental shit because it does drive a lot yeah but you're way

less angry than when I met you. I am too. I'm definitely way less angry. We did all right. But our thing is we set the bar so high with the anger that even us just coming down is still like, I remember my brother told me, we all got like a bit of my dad's temper. One of my brothers told me this story one time riding with his girlfriend at the time and he was flipping about, you know, blah, blah, blah, da, da, da, da, da.

And she just goes, stop yelling. He goes, I'm not yelling. And then he just goes, this is yelling. And went totally through it and literally blew her hair back. And I think that was the end of it. Because she was a sweetheart and didn't come from that, which is just, I can't imagine. I have a lot of empathy. Yeah.

Not empathy, sympathy for anybody that came from a decent background that ends up with one of us in a day-to-day with me with the monsters yeah i'm not that bad but i mean i i well it's like if you live with me yeah my wife puts up with a lot it's a rage thing you know like it comes over you and it's a horrible feeling when you're seized by it where you know you're like it's happening you's happening. Oh, now at this age, you know it's happening, and you can't stop it. It's just coming out of your mouth. God damn it. And you're like, why is this happening?

There's a guy in there going, what are we doing? What are we doing? You know she's going to get upset with you. You know you told her you weren't going to do this. You know what my thing is? Technology. Oh, yeah. So you're the guy with the gadgets yelling?

No, I can't. I hate all of it. I hate all of i'm it's draining it is i hate like the new operating systems and all that stuff all it is designed to do is fill up your damn thing so you got to throw it out and get another one yeah and it's like i just learned the other one yeah right so it's like back in the day when i was a kid you know you learn how to read you could read right and i was literate right and then what i can't stand about these things it's like i'm i'm functionally literate it's the best i ever get right and then i go right back to me in first grade again like a is for apple and that's what it is it's that planned obsolescence shit at least back in the day when they did that with cars or

televisions is a good example from the show you had a choice like you know i'm gonna stick with the old one i don't need the new window thing i don't need to get it fixed there was you could go to a television repair person like that my parents generation i think is one of the last generations that they bought stuff and they have for like i go home to my parents house and i just look at stuff going like dude look at this spoon i ate with this 40 years ago wooden spoons glasses yeah like uh back in the day like we had like the big TVs on the legs. Yeah. Yeah, we blew the tube. Yeah. Then you just didn't watch TV for like three days.

And then somebody came by- With a tube. With a tube. And he fixed it and then it worked again. You just throw everything away now. Everything's garbage. You fix the vacuum cleaner. Yeah.

Yeah, you bought one. There were whole businesses based on people's fear of buying new things. And then it became the whole like, well, you might as well buy a new one. Right. Because it's going to cost you almost as much. They're all in on it. Well, nay. And then you got that big swirl of garbage out there in the Pacific.

And I always think about that every time. I just thought about that when I went to go get a little breakfast burrito there. The swirl of garbage? Yeah, because they thought I was getting it to go. So then she goes, she put it in a brown paper bag. So I took it out. I go, yeah, I don't need this. Yeah. I don't need this. So then she goes, she put it in a brown paper bag. So I took it out. I go, yeah, I don't need this. Yeah.

I don't need this. And then she goes, you want a paper plate? And I go, yeah. So it was a wash. How does it get to the swirl of garbage? I mean, it either ends up in a landfill or it goes in the ocean. You never throw anything out. Like everything you've ever owned exists someplace on this planet.

Yeah. Unless it was biodegradable at this point. Or burned. Yeah. So it's out there. It's out there. Your rollerblades, everything that you stopped using. There's a large swirl of garbage.

Yeah, the suspenders that you had when you were into roller skating way back in the day. They're somewhere. Large swirl of garbage. It's like two miles deep and twice the size of Texas, just out in the Pacific Ocean, just swirling around. What's it doing? Well, the way the currents move or something caused it all to kind of go there. I don't know.

One of my scientists. Did you say, was it two miles deep, you said? Two miles deep and like one and a half times the size of Texas. Oh, my God. So this is the stuff that like, you know, you're having a good day. You're having a pretty good morning, right? You can have a breakfast burrito. And then you want a paper bag?

No, I don't want to and then a plate yeah and then all of a sudden you're in the swirl of garbage yeah and it's over i think that and then you know what the other person who just takes the paper bag and the paper plate i immediately assume that they know about the swirl of garbage and they don't care right right that fucker yeah right heart rather than he probably has like four kids and he's been up all night but you've got a paper plate too. I think that's part of the anger is that, you know, you get angry on principle, but then you can't help. No, you can't.

But you're going to go for comfort. Be part of it. Yeah. No winning. No, I went down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theory. I've crawled out. I tried to get you out of that a little bit. I just, well, I mean, I was right about a lot of the stuff because it was about banking if you do remember no yeah there's always the them and they are running everything

that's true i just don't think it's organized like i don't like you know what they say is like stupid things like jews run hollywood hollywood it would be like dude the level of cooperation necessary just to run hollywood and if you've been in this town for more than three seconds it is a knife fight nobody's working with anybody i had that moment with my uh my friend Jim you know who worked for Clinton and he's a he's a politics guy it's in my it's in Jerusalem syndrome I used to do it on stage I think where I just go off in this rant it's the Bilderberger group the trilateral commission the Freemasons look at the you know like I'm yelling at him on the mall in DC yeah and I and I think I got the beard you're the you in D.C. Yep. And I think I nailed it.

And you got the beard. You're that guy. I was that guy. And he takes this weird beat and he just looks at me and goes, Mark, people here just aren't that organized. There's no way. Yeah. They aren't.

I mean, it's like you... People will try to do it, but at the end of the day, even within your group, someone's going to be like, well, why is Mark on top? I want to be that guy and it just it all falls it's like a band how many bands other than the rolling stones were able to stay together you just after a while you're just like this guy with the way yeah yeah but the thing is the people but you're right about the banks because they're the ones that can rig the system if you can rig the system it's really hard to rig the system and show

business yeah you can close the gates and certain people get jobs but if they don't make money it's over right you know you only cannot make money a couple of times before show business is like well that guy's done but if you can rig the system from the inside and people are too stupid or or it's too difficult to find out then you do run everything but even then banks are competing with other banks but it's just more like they're just not regulated so it's just what they're doing is like reprehensible i just actually watched a screener that new brad pitt uh the big short i saw it yeah was incredible but i have an equal amount of anger for the bankers and the dopes that got themselves involved in those loans yeah you know what i mean because it's just like you like i flunk math I flunk math every single year of high school.

Right. And my brother was able to sit down and explain to me how a mortgage worked in a five-minute conversation. Right. How'd it go? And I remember when I first got a mortgage, and I was like, I want to make double mortgage payments. I bought something I could afford, first of all. Yeah. To pay more than the mortgage.

And I made double mortgage payments. And all of a sudden, I was six months ahead on my mortgage, but't knocked down the principal because i was just making interest payments right and then i was like oh that's how that works so then i was like all right so i'm just paying the mortgage and then this other stuff i write on this line that's principal i'm a moron i was able to figure that out so i know there was a lot of people my dad flipped out when the whole thing happened in 07 i remember people should know better where they're like sign this paper we'll give you a free house and you can pay for it later yeah and there are people that are just like free house yeah okay or like when the bank calls you up to refinance it's like hey you're paying 1800 a month you want to make 12 you want to have a 1200 a

month mortgage it's like let me get this straight you just called me up to make 600 bucks less a month how does this work and what it is is they go back to like mortgage payment number one. So all the interest you've been paying for the last five years is just in the ocean. It's in their pocket. And then you've got to start all over again. So that's 600 a month you're saving. Nobody does that. Somehow it works out with the numbers that you're actually paying more.

But most people just hear like, yeah, I'll save 600 a month. And then you know what they do with that 600? They go out and they buy a flat screen TV, which is a total depreciating or whatever they call it, asset. Nothing. And then where does it end up? In the ocean. In the ocean.

In the porpoise, right in the teeth. Swirling. Yep. Yeah. Well, what is on F is for Family, right? That's the whole title. You're working with great people. I mean, there's a lot of great people on that show.

Who are the people who are doing the voices with you you're doing the father great you got a great clip at that how many takes you got to do with that you just kind of roll with it it took me like three uh three times of going in there yeah to uh get comedy club comfortable right right right and uh on those mics yeah were you usually working with an ensemble were you doing it separately because i've done right both so oh yeah you said earlier you did it so you know the deal so it's just sort of a thing where i'm obviously comfortable on a microphone wearing headphones not enough radio so that was comfortable but then it was just like okay we're gonna do the whole script yeah and uh you know sometimes i did it by myself so that was just a little weird and then also trying to

keep the energy going up as you're reading the lines you're not going to memorize the whole script right no you can't you gotta read and you don't have to you know what i mean you just go in there so it was learning how to do that and anybody listening to my podcast knows that reading out loud is not one of my uh strong suits it's hard it's like reading a prompter it's like make it you know so you learn how to do that you had to pick up that skill huh yeah so i i got a little better than that but as far as like the cast uh laura dern oh she's my wife yeah justin long crushes it is uh uh kevin the stoner brother yep the stoner brother and then uh little bill is played by hayley reinhardt who is one of the finalists on like american idol and that was a very key voice to get because a little boy's voice where it hasn't you know changed yet changed yet, if he's whining to

his parents can be really annoying. I don't know. I always looked at those kids like, I want to beat the shit out of you. I don't know why. It's this natural vulnerability that's annoying. She has this natural raspiness to her voice, that singer thing. And she was able to, she does such a great voice on that. Oh, it's like Pam Adlon in King of the Hill.

She played the little boy. Yeah. I think you got to have a little bit of that. Oh, it's like Pam Adlon in King of the Hill. She played the little boy. Yeah. I think you got to have a little bit of that so it doesn't sound like a little girl. Right. Debbie Derryberry plays Maureen, the daughter. And if you've watched any of those Pixar animated movies, she's done like a total pro.

Kevin Farley's in there. Sam Rockwell. What does he play? He plays Vic Reynolds, the cool next-door neighbor. Oh, that's Sam Rockwell? Yeah. he play? He plays Vic Reynolds, the cool next door neighbor. Oh, that's Sam Rockwell? Yeah. Oh, he's great. That's a great character.

I always forget. Kevin Michael Richardson. I'm going to... Mo Collins. Oh my God, Mo Collins absolutely destroys Formata TV, absolutely crushes it.

She does the voice of Jimmy Fitzsimmons, the bully, and a bunch of other voices. It's been an incredible experience. That's an all-star team there. Yeah, well, what happened was we wrote a really funny script, and we got one big fish.

I forget who we got first. So then all of a sudden it's like, well, you know, this is a funny script and so-and-so's attached. Then all of a sudden they started falling like dominoes, and it was just incredible. But I got to tell you watching like the the actors yeah like uh more so than the voiceover people because they were such pros they just had the voice yeah yeah but watching sam rockwell lauren laura dern and justin long watching their approach where it's just like every you i watched like all of them

like every take like it was like when it first when they first did it you're like oh my god like what are they doing yeah and then five minutes later like wow that's really good and then like like 10 minutes in seven to ten minutes in it was just this different person that wasn't them i was just like why do they do that like that is amazing they're fucking pros yeah and they and they had like their process and i was like um i was looking at more like it from a stand-up approach like right get in there make it funny right now but it works yeah because you got that character you know that guy yeah yeah yeah we do what we can within the range we can do it totally but you're basically being propped up

by a tremendous amount of talent right no but that's not true you by a tremendous amount of talent. Right. No, but that's not true. You have a tremendous amount of talent. You're a good actor, too. But, you know, I mean, you seem to be comfortable in a lot of different roles. But this one really speaks to you. I mean, you know this guy. You are this guy for the most part. We're better if we're the guy. Yeah.

It's subversion. Yeah. What's cool about this is that some of my dad's catchphrases, some of Mike Price's, some of the other writers' catchphrases or experiences and then his politics sometimes are mine though yeah so it's sort of this uh cyborg versions like this it's a bunch of personalities in there but you get the tone yeah yeah yeah yeah so i mean yeah it's great dude i've done some acting that's not like i'm breaking bad and shit and something but like that guy i think was uh the least like you had to turn a lot of things off you know to do you know to to have that guy but i've always wanted to play a guy

uh um patrick kubi by the way you know when i found out his first name was patrick yeah was after i had filmed my final scene and then i was just watching the series you know when i found out his first name was patrick yeah was after i had filmed my final scene and then i was just watching the series you know because i yeah i was always flying for one day i'd do my little bs and yeah they'd send me back and i remember knowing that my character was not going to show up anymore in the story as people were tweeting me going like you know is he coming back yeah and i knew that i wasn't and And then when Dean's character was talking, he said, yeah, he was talking to Lavelle. And he was going like, yeah, your Carrot Top friend there,

what's his name, Patrick Kuby. And I was literally at home watching it. I stood up going, oh, my character's first name is Patrick? I didn't know that. Like freaking out. That's good, right? Oh, yeah, no. You nailed it, Patrick.

That they totally fleshed it out. like freaking out um that's good right oh yeah no you nailed the magic that that they that they totally fleshed it out and but what was just great about that show was just the level that everyone was working on like whenever anybody goes oh you know you did a great job on that show i was go dude you would have done a great job on that show you're working with the best actors ever writers directors cinematography the whole thing all you had to do is just say what they wrote and hit the lines and just try to make it sound remotely believable right

because that's and that's one thing that I've learned about that whole making TV shows and movies it's like those are the guys

that really as much as the actors are amazing like because every great actor has an absolute dog of a movie right

it's like what did they forget how to act yeah it's just like if you don't have that person knows how to pace it along, how to edit, how to keep that thing rolling, and then the right music to build up that moment.

Yeah, it's a whole ensemble thing. Yeah. Who did the music for F is for Family? Dave Kushner. Who's that guy? Dave Kushner's from Velvet Revolver. There you go. Rock and roll.

That's right, man. How'd you hook up with that guy? He was a friend of Wild West, Vince Vaughn, and all those guys. Dude, this thing just like, after all these years of trying to do a TV show, the one time when I was like, yeah, I don't have an idea. You know, I got this stupid cartoon idea. This is the thing where all of a sudden the planets all align. Where Wild West is like the greatest people I've ever worked with as far as putting together a show.

Then they get with Mike Price, who's the greatest showrunner I've ever worked with. And then we get with Netflix, whose network notes were, push it further, which is the dream. It's usually like, remember when we said we wanted edgy? We don't.

We're going to saw the legs off this thing and leave you out there twisting in the wind and everybody's just like, that show sucked. What was up with that? They were the exact opposite. So then when we had to get music, the thing about the 70s is it's been so mined as far as like all the great songs, you know.

Yeah. I mean, that movie, Dazed and Confused Alone. Yeah, all of them were nice. Was half my iPod, you know. They cost money, those songs. Yes. So what we wanted to do was pick songs that were a little bit more obscure. And then we had Dave Kushner and his buddies come up with some original music for it.

And it's a really nice... From the time, kind of that feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It worked out. Yeah. And does that mean, what, do you get to, did he bring rock and roll buddies around or what? Oh, absolutely.

Who did he play with? Who comes in to do it? Oh, no, no, no. All the people that he worked with were all like studio guys. Oh, yeah. You know what was cool was, I got to take take you over there sometime like where they record the music yeah it's just a house looks like this yeah they converted the garage where it's literally a room within the room and like i've stood outside the garage and this guy hit the drums as hard as he could hit him

it sounded like somebody had a stereo on like two really insulated yeah and i was just like i need to know i need to have i gotta have that once again the swirl of garbage disappears my own selfish i go to my own monkey brain i'm like yeah i want to have that cut down some trees and make me that yeah how do we do this at my house yeah i gotta have one of those um because i'm not a professional drummer so i definitely need a professional drumming studio yeah in my garage so no one will hear you. Yeah. You have to have

that self-consciousness. Oh, you want to hear a good story about that? I used to, when I first moved out here with my then girlfriend, now wife, we lived over this

crazy old guy. He was in the beginning parts of dementia, which we didn't know. So he was really sarcastic as hell. You know, we had hardwood floors.

Anytime he dropped something on the floor, he would go like, you just hear from downstairs, you just hear, do it again. Keep it up. Like that thing.

So what I used to do is wherever I dropped, if I didn't like it, or I'd just take my, you know, my Timberland, I would just slam it on the floor.

And then he would shut up, right? And, but he had this habit of really, you know, he could, you know,

he could hear my voice because it was an old building. But when I was on the road, he really acted up. And he would always be yelling at my wife, like from the floor below. So she kept going, you got to go down there. You got to talk to him. You got to talk to him.

And I was just going, I'm not going down and talk to him. It's an old guy. It's not going to go well. No matter what happens. I'm a young guy. I'm getting into an argument with an old guy. I don't want to do this. So whatever.

So like, you know, we had this little apartment. I had my little guitar set up and you know my little practice pad my drums and all that stuff so one day um it was after christmas holidays and i'm taking the christmas tree down the stairs i was trying to be quiet but at the end of the day i'm taking a fucking tree down the stairs it's only so quiet you could be right so i walk by him and he's glaring at me you know i just you know wink at him or something. I'm just being playful, whatever. I take it to the thing. I come back into the house and Nia goes like,

you need to go down there right now and talk to this guy. He just said this. It was just a moment. I said, fine, you want me to go down there? I'll talk to the guy. I went down and I start talking to the guy. I got like two words into it. He starts flipping out, screaming and yelling.

Now I'm standing there and there's an old guy looking like he's gonna keel over he's yelling so bad and i was in my 30s at that time so i'm looking like an asshole when i'm trying to explain i go dude will you relax i'm just saying don't yell at my wife if you have a problem just come up like a gentleman blah blah blah and then at one point he just looks at me he goes he goes how's your band and then he just goes like he could hear my guitar playing and he was basically saying i sucked dude my face literally turned red i was embarrassed and my wife was above right above listening to it and she thought it was funny so for like the next three days i was so mortified i didn't even play and then when i started playing i would either not have the amp

on or have the headphones on and i was even picking it really like gingerly and after like like three, four days of this, I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Fuck this guy. And I turned it up and I started playing again. But there's nothing more embarrassing than when somebody makes fun of your hobby. Because you know it's your hobby. You know you stink at it. Like if somebody told me you suck as a comic, like, fuck yeah, I put food on the table doing that. You just don't like my act.

I can shake that. It still hurts. But not to the level like like there's a major exposure when somebody hears your hobby right cause it's vulnerable he got in your head

oh yeah yeah he hit you right where it hurt yeah you're not a pro and you're always fantasizing like do you think I'd be good enough to play in a band I know the same way

with fucking guitar dude dude you can play though yeah there's part of me though like I'm sure you get this too where I'm like I think this is what I'm gonna do now I just gotta get some guys together no way and i've i've gone on tours with other comics and i i've which is basically the band experience except you don't

have to interact with them as much right but like there's there's always going to be the late guy yeah there's going to be the user the pussy hound and all of that but also the fact that i you know i i don't know if i can play with people. Playing at home, in your own time, doing one take, or maybe if you think you really nailed that solo, you can hit that song again. Oh, I wasn't even talking about being any sort of decent band. I just mean trying it, just trying to do it. But did you get to play with any of these guys?

Did you get to play with... Kushner, yeah. Well, they had me play drums on a track for the uh for the show of course it didn't make it yeah you know it's funny when i actually listened back to your bone dude when oh yeah totally they did and when i came and listened to the track dude and i thought i nailed it dude oh oh dude it was like you ever hear that joke that you know there's a drummer at the door oh because the knocking speeds up like Like, that's what it was, except mine was like, like, dude, it was- Couldn't hold it?

Oh. Yeah. No, but I was also like, you know, I'm sitting like, that's Dave Kushner standing right there. Like, you know what I mean? And they showed up like, all right, man, go ahead. Get in there, have a hit. And they were like, we'll fix it.

We'll fix it. I kept calling it the Paula Abdul knob. I go, can you turn that up a little more and stretch that out and then condense that thing? But what ended up happening was, you know, Dave is such a great guy. You know, he does a lot of stuff for charity. And whenever he does charity, he knows all of those guys. Yeah.

You know, the Guns N' Roses guy, the All Evolved guys, like STP, he knows all of those guys. So when he puts together a show for charity, it's like an all-star band. It's like you feel like you're at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. So I went to a couple of these shows. And then at one point he said to me, he goes, hey, man, do you want to sit in on one song? You know, you're going to do some stand-up and then maybe sit in? And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, dude.

I'm not going to be that guy. There's that old man downstairs talking in the back of your head. No, but also it's just like everybody's geeking out that they're that close to these rock stars. then we're gonna bring up this jerk off and i was just like i don't want to do that and he goes all right man you know he's like the guy you know they wouldn't care man they actually know they like your stuff you know blah blah blah and then i was driving i was thinking yeah i was like you know what that was more of a fear choice i'm trying to act like it was i was being courteous right like i don't want to do that to you but

it's really i was too scared to do it so i was just i just called him back and said all right let's do it yeah so we decided we're gonna do highway to hell phil rudd straight ahead so i show up there uh the day we're doing the sound check and everybody is a monster but i'm not recognizing half of the guys so i start once i get their names i'm like wikipedia them and they're all these insane studio guys and I own half the albums these guys play on. I'm like,

there you go. I just met this guy. Hey, I'm Chris. I found this guy who plays with Jane's Addiction, bass player and stuff. So we end up going up there. I end up going up.

I do the sound check. We do the song once. I mean, you know, and it went well. They go, all right, man, that sounds good. Does that, you know,

you want to do it again? I go, no, you know, that's how I'm going to do it. So they go, fine. So that night I show up. Now there's a crowd there. The sun's gone down. We're playing outside.

And these guys start, I'm looking at the set list going like, okay, I got to be up second or third. They'll warm them up, get the stupid comic in and out. And then they'll go back to being, you know, rock stars with professional drumming.

And I'm like, third to last song or fourth to last. I'm like, what are they doing? So they're tearing through 10 songs, destroying them. Frankie Perez on vocals just crushing. And it's like these people just going nuts because it's like they're getting their own private concert for this charity thing.

And then we're coming up. They did Roadhouse Blues, and I knew I was next to play Highway to Hell. So I sneak up onto the bandstand because I didn't want to get the announcement or whatever,

intro. And as I'm sitting down, the bass player and guitar player walk off stage. Right. And I'm getting nervous now just telling you this.

I'm like, oh, what's going on? We didn't rehearse this. What's going on? So Christian goes, yeah, hey, we're going to have a special guest on this one on drums. And everybody's like, oh, my God, who's this going to be? Bruce Springsteen? They're so spoiled.

They go, on drums, we got Bill Burr, comedian Bill Burr. And dude, literally, golf clap. I didn't even think there was a clap. It was just like a collective, who the fuck is that? So now I'm hiding my face behind one of the cymbals. And then he goes, I also got a couple more friends coming up to the stage

from Guns N' Roses. Please welcome Duff McKagan and Slash. And they just walked up on stage and I was like, oh my God, oh my God. And dude, I literally, Appetite for Destruction

in the 80s, I would lift weights to it and then play drums to it every single day. My older brother wanted to kill me. These are like heroes. Yes.

And me and my brothers used to do a cover of Highway to Hell. And one of my brothers stood where Duff was and the other one stood where Slash was. It was like 12 worlds all meeting. And I had three seconds to process this and then Slash just goes, da-na-na-na, da-na-na-na. And I was like, oh God, here we go. And then I still, I couldn't feel my legs. And somehow I was able, oh, God, here we go. And then I still couldn't feel my legs. And somehow I was able to get through it. I screwed up like three times, but I came back on time, you know.

And I just remember in the end, you know how the band cuts out and then Bon Scott does the, all the way. And then there's the big cymbal wash. Well, Slash, Duff, and Dave all turn around for the cue because it's on me. And, dude, I would have been less nervous if, like, literally three oak trees came to life and bent down and talked to me. Like, so I get off stage, and, like, I am grinning like Julia Roberts. Like, all my molars are showing. I'm like, I couldn't believe it.

I got to meet Slash afterwards, and he said he liked my drumming. He was being nice. So now I am floating. Like, wow wow i just play with these rock stars and they like me so then of course i leave get in my prius right the most unrock and roll thing ever and i was driving down you know it was up in the hollywood hills where we did it and i was literally screaming like just out the window i couldn't fucking believe it happened so i go down to the comedy store because i was gonna meet these uh these guys to smoke a cigar. And I go down there and I get out of the car. And one of the guys that runs the store, Adam, comes out.

He goes, hey, Bill, I didn't even come by. He goes, you want to go up? And I was like, nope. No, no, no. No, no, no. That was the end of my night right there. Yeah. So I go in the back.

I tell all the guys the story. They can't believe it. Night of my life. As I'm telling the story, Kushner sent me some video of it. So I showed it to them. They're like, dude, that's like Make-A-Wish stuff. That's unreal. I literally didn't want the night to end.

Right. So it's three in the morning and now I finally have to go home. And this is where I turn back into a pumpkin. Yeah. So I'm like, ah, this is the greatest night ever. So I get in my Prius again. I'm driving out of the comedy store parking lot. You know, I got to wait to make the left to cross Sunset

and all of a sudden there's this knock on my passenger side window. I look over, drop dead gorgeous woman. I'm like, this is, it just can't get any better.

I immediately go to my ego that she's like, oh, I didn't know you were down here tonight. I was the biggest fan. Did you go up? I love your comedy.

I thought she was going to do that. I rolled down the window and she sticks her whole head in the car and she just goes, are you Felipe, our Uber driver? I just was like, no. No, I'm not.

And then I just drove home in silence. Welcome back to the planet. Yeah. Oh, that couldn't have ruined it too much. No, it was still awesome. And I got to do it one other time recently, and I got to play with Gilby Clark. Oh, that's great.

He's a good guy. Oh, yeah, he's a great guy. Yeah, yeah. And Duff again, and it was, yeah, it was insane. Living the life, man. Yeah, yeah. But I keep it in perspective that I know that I suck. Yeah, you don't.

And I also know that it's one and done. When you do those things, you do one song, and then the novelty's over, or else they're just like. Then it's a job, and you're not doing it well. Exactly. Right. When you do those things, you do one song and then the novelty's over or else they're just like... Don't hang out. Then it's a job and you're not doing it well. Exactly. Right.

There you go. Yeah. Well, no, but the... I mean, it's good to know that no matter what happens, you're always going to suck to you. What do you mean? Well, I mean, you know what I mean?

The thing that's going to keep us humble is that part of us is sort of like... No, I think everybody that's actually really good at what they do is not happy with what they're doing.

I think, yeah, it's a shame, isn't it? To a certain level. No, because I can be happy with what I've done.

Right. But like, I always had a feeling I know I can do better. I know I can get better. Yeah. Because other than that, then you just like,

you just become that guy. Yeah, I'm great at this. My hour's good. I don't need to change it. Yeah. And then you're like, hey, what's up with Bill Clinton, huh? This Monica Lewinsky stuff is crazy.

Well, look, dude, F is for family is great. And how many did you do? We did six. So they gave us like half a season to see how we do. So I have no idea what next year is going to be. It's either going to be us doing a season two, hopefully, depending on how this thing goes, or I will continue living my dream to be a comedian so i look at all this other stuff you are living the dream you're huge i am not huge you snuck in the you're huge i mean i meant i am living the dream yes but no you're also a very popular comedian

doing all right all right buddy, buddy. Good seeing you. I'm doing all right. Thank you. That was me and Bill. You can go to Netflix and watch Dad F is for Family. Gotta love Bill Burr, right? Of course you do. So here we go. The new year is here. Let's look back for a minute, can we? It's been a pretty amazing year for this show a lot of things happen to me and a lot of things happen on this show many times they are the same thing i think a few of the ones that i'd like to reflect about out of the hundred or some odd ones that we've done here over the last year i guess we do about probably about a what about a hundred and four something like that per year. There's been some amazing moments for me. But some of the highlights, as you would expect, were these.

Let's talk about the ones. There are so many. There's so many. But like for me, one of the great moments was interviewing Terry Gross, the amazing Terry Gross, NPR's Terry Gross. The sort of the interviewer we all aspire to. I guess if you're me, I have a tremendous amount of respect for Terry Gross. She is the voice of what an interview sounds like. There are Stern people and there are Terry Gross people.

And some of you are both those kind of people. Obviously, I have not interviewed Howard Stern. I don't know if that's a possibility. But Terry Gross is the quintessential interviewer. And there was an opportunity at that Radio Love Fest where she was asked to be if she would do a live event. And she requested my presence as the person to interview her, which was incredibly flattering. I was honored to do it, but it was a live situation. And those are not the, they're not always easy,

but I'll tell you it was one of the best nights of my life in terms of me respecting her, finding information out about her that we didn't already know as a people. And also just being in front of 2, 000 people at at bam and conducting this very intimate interview is a challenging thing and it couldn't have gone better there was a nice balance it was a wonderful live show she was amazing and uh and and i felt like i did a a great job and again i was i was incredibly um flattered and honored that she asked me. I love her. I love Terry Gross.

I love her even more since we had that evening together. And obviously, Keith Richards. Keith Richards was another amazing thing for me. Now, I know you know that I interviewed President Barack Obama. And we had a time in here. We had an hour in here. That was a hell of a day you can listen to the president episode if you'd like but a lot of people seem to uh to really enjoy the uh the president was here which is episode 614 and uh that was me and my producer and business partner

brendan mcdon, talking about what led up to that. Now, that was an amazing day. It was a challenge for me to sit in myself and have that interview be a WTF interview. I was not looking for a political conversation. I was looking to connect with a human being, and I felt that that happened happened and it was a monumental day for me i'd like to think for the president and certainly for the medium of podcasting but if i'm going to be totally candid with you okay i also interviewed lauren michaels as some of you may listen to that there was a lot of personal closure that i needed out of that episode. I never assumed that that would happen. And many of you over the years have gotten sick of me

telling the story of me meeting with Lorne Michaels. I was sick of myself telling it. But that was a very amazing interview for me personally. I don't know what that means really, but personally it was important to me to talk to Lorne Michaels and have the experience I had with him. And a lot of you were involved in that in terms of like, you had something emotionally invested in me having that conversation and hoping that it goes well. And it did. And I think we all feel better for it. It's glad that happened. That was a hell of an interview.

Barack Obama, hell of an interview. Lor That was a hell of an interview. Barack Obama, hell of an interview. Warren Michaels, hell of an interview this year. Terry Gross, transcendent. But back to what I was saying, if I'm going to be honest, okay, if I'm going to be honest, Keith Richards, Keith Richards wins. Keith Richards. Keith Richards was in my mind and in my heart since I was 13 years old. And I think if you listen to that episode, I don't know what you would call that. I don't know if you would call it an interview. I don't like using the word interview. I much prefer the word talk.

I had a talk with that guy. That was a good talk. I don't really think of myself as an interviewer but if you listen to me and keith richards i i had to do everything to keep myself from crying with excitement and joy and uh at all of them for me personally as a kid as an artist and as a grown-up that was the one that was the that was the one they were all amazing but i sat across from keith richards and we had a cigarette together we had a talk and it was phenomenal never in my life would i thought that i would hang out with keith richards and you guys would hear it even if it was a little embarrassing but look there's been a lot of interviews this year

you know there's just there's been a lot of amazing things happen and and really if someone asks me what's your favorite one what's this that? I don't really have them because they're all different. They're all unique. I mentioned those four because they were sort of amazing life achievements for me. Amazing experiences that I never thought would happen. But all of the interviews, there's very rarely any that I don't come away with something amazing. Something changes in me. I learn something.

I feel something. I have a human experience i would never have had before there's so many that are amazing and we we put together a bit of a montage here and these are just these are just moments with people like melanie linsky who who i love and who i loved on screen and i never i never thought i'd get to talk to melanie linsky that was amazing paul thomas anderson nobody talks to paul thomas anderson another amazing experience that day david burn are you fucking kidding me i was so nervous before david burn kurt metzger a buddy of mine a comic had one of the great interviews this year that i thought

was uh you know powerful educational intense funny mike watt are you fucking kidding me mike watt i had no idea what it'd be like to talk to that guy it was like talking to a man from another planet a good planet laura jane grace the punk rocker transgender person and i was you know awkward but we worked through a lot of stuff her and i sir ian mckellen come on wyatt sinek that was a monumental interview james taylor there's so those are i'll throw together some clips of those people but you know i can't it's a very hard thing for me to do they're just just all so amazing to me. I don't know if I could live if I didn't get to talk to people twice a week in this garage. It's become more than a show. It's become more than a business.

It always was. When it comes right down to it, every year, every time I got to walk out here and talk to somebody, I usually don't know. I may have an idea of, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm not really that prepared. And I'm not just saying that as some sort of cute thing that I say. Yeah, Marin's never prepared. I try not to fucking prepare because I want to have a good talk. I want to have a connected talk.

And it's not like therapy. It's just good for the soul to have a conversation. Maybe you should do that this New Year's. Take a little time to just sit down and maybe spend an hour with someone in your family just say i'm gonna i'm gonna take an hour and i'm gonna talk to this person i've known all my life but i really don't know anything about or i'm gonna talk to this person that interests me that i really don't know anything about to see them every day feel it i'm not just doing this for for a job if i don't talk to somebody for an hour or so at least once or

twice a week i start to get squirrely and lost and disconnected from from being a human okay listen to this. Well, you've got some grandkids, right? We've got five. Five. Yeah. Do you love hanging out with them? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah, it's worth hanging around to be a granddad, you know? Yeah. Did you ever think you would? I mean, it's a... Certain times, no. But here I am, and there's five grandkids, and it's another thing.

It takes you on another level. One thing being a father, which is like fun enough. You had a couple shots at that. Yeah. Two sets. Yeah, two sets of that. And out they come, you know, but they're great little kids. What did they have a name for you?

Just grandpa or granddad or whatever they call you. Grandpa. Yeah. Him. Yeah. Him. Him. I was bulimic for 10 years. And I was never like a bingey bulimic because I was too ashamed to ever like binge eat. I'd never.

But I had such a strict diet. And then if I ate anything over it then i would yeah get rid of it right and i just was obsessive about my eating and i got in a relationship when i was 21 and i really opened up to this person and he said to me that's so violent what a violent thing to do to yourself and i never really had thought about it like i remember when i was 12 years old and i read about it i was like oh great idea that's i was that's all yeah and my body was changing and i was freaking out because suddenly i had hips and breasts and stuff like that and i was like oh god help me.

It's just going to get worse. There's more fat bits that I have to worry about. Fuck. Yeah. And so I was trying to control it. And this boyfriend that I had was just like, God, that's so. And then he started crying. And he was like, that breaks my heart that you would do that to yourself.

And then he started crying and he was like, that breaks my heart that you would do that to yourself. It breaks my heart that you can't like eat, like experience something delicious. Like we'd go out to dinner and I would have a salad with no dressing. That's all I would ever eat. I still had a lot of feelings about my body, but it just sort of got better and better. I don't know. Sometimes I look at myself and I'm like, oh, that's kind of sexy. Yeah. It's all round and bouncy.

It's like, what's wrong with that? I don't know why I was denying that for so long. I was so excited to be able to see all my ribs, really. Not everyone's supposed to look like that. Those women are beautiful. It's beautiful when everyone looks different. So you work with

Philip Seymour Hoffman in all three of those first movies? Yeah. All the way through? We did five movies, I think. So you guys came up

together, really. Where did you first meet him? Yeah, but he'd started before me. He'd been around, you know, by starting out, we all kind of

started out together with Riley or Phil, but they had a little bit more of a resume underneath them. Right. Which was, been around uh you know by starting out we all kind of started out together was riley or phil but they had a little bit more of a resume underneath them right which was really helpful even if they made four or five films that was more than i'd done right so when we were starting out you know they had my back and they were really helpful just in you know from like that's where craft service is to, you know, the simplest things through just, just having a few movies under your belt

makes a big difference. Sure. But, you know, Phil was like, you know, he maybe had a long list of kind of not so great movies, but he would always be the best thing in it, you know. So you just liked him? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, early on, I mean mean obviously as time went on but as an actor you thought when you cast him in heartache and in boogie nights you were like you know this guy's it I thought that when I saw him for the first time and sent of a woman that I that I just knew what true love was I knew what love at first sight was and it was the strangest feeling sitting in a movie theater thinking, he's for me and I'm for him. And that was it.

Really? Yeah. Strange. But that's... Believe me, when I was a kid, you sort of draw out yourself, like movie cameras and sets, just like eight, nine years old,

and nowhere in it did I draw anything that looked like him you know i always thought like i'd have like cary grant would be in my movie harrison ford right but something happened when i saw him really yeah when you say you don't have a nostalgic bone in your body what does that mean really i don't look back as like oh that was a golden age or or things were better when New York was shittier. Not at all. You don't do that. No, I don't do that. I mean, you can look at certain things and go, that was a good aspect at a certain time.

But I don't look at it like, oh, things were better then. When you think of The Talking Heads, does it just feel far away uh no no it feels yeah a little bit i mean it feels like oh that was something i did at that point point in my life um i'm aware that certainly a certain generation knows more of that stuff than they know what i've done in the last 10 years sure but it depends there's other people who know what I did recently more than they know the old stuff. It was kind of like,

oh, you were in a band before this? Oh, really? There's a little bit of it. Not that much, but there's a little bit. And what do you say

to that? You're like, yeah, that thing. Yeah, yeah, it was a thing. And then I go, yeah, it was pretty popular for a while.

What did you realize at that time that many people don't even realize now? I wanted interesting work. I wanted to fall in love with work, and I wanted to fall in love with a person. And, you know, I'm lucky I had both. And was your husband your first love? Now that I really know what love is, I'd say yes. But... What was the other thing? Well... now that I really know what love is, I'd say yes. But, but... What was the other thing?

Well... I mean, I... I mean, I... Oh, this gets really personal. I mean, I was married before and... For how long? A short time. And we were very close and it was...

It was a year, maybe? A year. I don't... Right, how old were you? It was were very close. And it was a year, maybe? A year. I don't... Right, how old were you? It was a very close relationship. Let's relax a little bit. This makes me nervous to talk about. How old were you with the first marriage?

I was very young. We were still in college. Did your parents know about that? Yeah, they did. They were okay with it? They were okay, as okay as parents were at the time. My parents weren't okay with anything I was doing then. I dropped out of high school and hitchhiked cross-country with him before we were married. Whoa, what? So, all right, so this is before you went to college or? This is while

we were in high school. In my sophomore year, instead of going to college we hitchhike cross-country you and this guy me and this guy what where's this guy now in new york oh you know him still we haven't been in touch in a long time but okay well surprise we have to have him no he's he's a wonderful person i mean i have nothing but i he's really a wonderful person. I know, I'm just like, you have to understand that, like, you know, a lot of us have created a life for you, Terry, and this is all, this is exciting information. This is what we're, you know, I, you know, we can, you know, be funny and just brush over stuff all night long, but this is exciting stuff to me. And then my mom converted at 18 because she was a disillusioned Catholic. And so she found joe's witnesses which i think really kind of satisfied whatever need she had what needs are

those how did they just hold i don't understand what they do like in in terms of catholicism was catholicism too abstract or too vague or too complicated or probably all that probably wasn't finding the relief from going into the booth. I'd probably all that. I'd probably, I'll be a good way to put it. The guy behind the screen is not helping me. The wizard is not helping me. This glory hole forgiveness is not helping me.

Yeah. I think she wanted the more personalized Protestant God over the, you know, the ethnic pagan fucking thing that she was doing. So she, but isn't the jehovah's witnesses like the no dancing troupe no no no that's that's footloose you're thinking i believe that's the footloose church that you

no jehovah's witnesses is uh like it's an it's actually used to be no holidays uh well not not most of them. Right. The ones that are considered pagan, which would be like Christmas, Easter. Okay, but you can dance. Yes, you can dance. All right. But they have their own peculiarity.

We didn't believe in an immortal soul, for example. We believed in a resurrection, okay? Like at the end times or whatever. People will be brought back to life, and you'll live in the in the garden of eden again they have a show that depicts that now what is it walking dead yes well yeah i guess christ wasn't really a zombie till his 30s right right i gotta tell you when i was laying there you know with the fevers and there was no clunk it was just delirium delirium delirium i was like you know.

In those kind of situations, you've got to really pull it together, I think, because it's like, why not end the hurt and let go? But on the other hand, I had all these things. See, that's the thing. When a hurt, a sickness comes down on you, you think you've got enough time, but it just makes you so weak. You might not. Yeah, you don't have time

so but i just said fuck it i got a lot of work i can't go now and then also the difference with this this intern doc hop yeah i put him in the opera in fact he's you know because they all got their theories they got only one real right doctor you got a hole in your tank i know so but they got theories some dudes think it's flesh eating bacteria it's like right right it's gang green right doc hopkins he says he i think you got the mother of all abscesses i think this might have started from an ingrown fucking hair that should have been lanced no shit holy fuck and you know the way county was in those days all these people it's enough for the money all these people from all the world come there to get experience yeah yeah you're there because they wanna right they ain't punching a claw it's like in the music racket some cats who win the lottery the last thing

you want to talk about is music you know then there's a notice when cats are first into it a big higher percentage if they really want to do it yeah it's a human thing yeah so i ain't against doctors like i said this cat saved my life. What has it been, two years? 2012 is when I came out. So three years? 2013. I don't even remember. But since you've actively been doing the therapies to transition, it's been like three years?

Yeah. Like now that you've sort of started this thing, are you like, no, okay. Or are you looking to do more? I feel like that I have a much better understanding of what I need and what makes me feel right than I did three years ago. Certainly more than I did 10 years ago, 20 years ago. Right. But I feel like that in another three years, another four years, another five years, I will even have an even better understanding of who I am and what I need. I don't think that that's something that you can ever fully feel like complete with or anything.

Really? At least for me. Huh. Okay. I am an existentialist, you know, and I like I oftentimes feel locked in thinking about things and thinking about the bigger picture of things and what certain things mean. And, you know, I don't know how to reconcile with my life beyond where my tour dates end. Yeah. And that's, like, I live a really weird life.

I know. But, like, what if you were to quiet it down? I mean, what do you, like, see, like, I'm a guy, I'm a recovery guy. So, I haven't done shit in, like, 15, 16 years. You know, that was my problem. Right. But do I feel whole and complete all the time? No.

I feel better about myself. I feel comfortable in my skin. But there's still something like, you know, what does it all mean? What's the fucking point? Yeah. So, you know, that hasn't gone away. No, I very much still have that. Yeah.

That's there. I don't want that to go away in a way, you know? I know. I think that's healthy. Sure it is. Yeah, but you should have some peace of mind. Yeah. I mean, it's a trip, you know?

Like, I can't imagine. I didn it's a trip you know like and like I can't imagine I didn't cut you up but I can't imagine though I get took me like you know years like I don't think I arrived in my body until maybe five or six years ago just you know when I started to get successful and feel like that I'd worked very hard of all my life to do something I did it was a self esteem problem sure you know and it just it sort of happened organically but i felt it happen so i i imagine on on some level that you know you taking this you know this making this transition has given you some of that i mean your your self-esteem must be better and

your comfort level 100 my problems now i guess are more just like normal problems of like oh i'm going through another divorce you know and yeah oh i got to deal with the fact that like I work and I travel and I have a kid and how do I balance like traveling life with having a kid and being able to be a part of my kids life when I'm not necessarily getting along with the mother you know like those are just like the realities of life that everyone has those are minimal problems to what other people problems are I'm going to give you a bit of Shakespeare okay I got I'm going to give you a little present. Thank you.

The leading character is called Thomas More, and Thomas More is a lawyer, and he's sent out by the authorities to put down a riot that's happening in the middle of London, and the riot is all about the strangers, and then it's immigrants. Yeah. People would eat food, smells different, they look different, wear different clothes, different language, and better send them back wherever they came from.

And this is how it goes. So someone in the crowd shouts that the strangers should be removed. And Thomas More says, grant them removed. And grant that this your noise hath chid down all the majesty of England. Imagine that you see the wretched strangers, their babies at their backs, with their poor luggage plodding to the ports and coasts for transportation, and that you sit as kings in your desires, authority quite silenced by your brawl, and you in rough

of your opinions clothed, what had you got? I tell you, you had taught how insolence and strong hand should prevail, how order should be quelled. And by this pattern, not one of you should live an aged man, for other ruffians, as their fancies wrought, with self-same-hand, self-reasoned and self-right, would shark on you, and men like ravenous fishes feed on one another. on you and men like ravenous fishes feed on one another. Oh, desperate as you are, wash your foul minds with tears and those same hands that you like rebels lift against the peace, lift up for peace. And your unreverent knees make them your feet to kneel to be forgiven. You'll put down strangers, kill them, cut their throats, and lead the majesty of law in Lyme to slip him like a hound.

Say now, the king, as he is, clement, if the offender moan, should so much come too short of your great trespass as but to banish you, whither would you go? What country, by the nature of your era, should give you harbour? Go you to France, or Flanders, to any German province, Spain, or Portugal, no, anywhere that not adheres to England, why, you must needs be strangers. Would you be pleased to find a nation of such barbarous temper That breaking out in hideous violence would not afford you an abode on earth Whet their detested knives against your throat

Spurn you like dogs And like as if that God owned not nor made not you Nor that the elements were not all appropriate to your comfort But chartered unto them not nor made not you nor that the elements were not all appropriate to your comfort but chartered unto them what would you think to be thus used this is the stranger's case

and this your mountainish inhumanity that's amazing mountainish inhumanity. That's amazing. And he said, you know, I'd love for you to be at the last show because you helped to build this thing. And so I was like, I appreciate that.

And, you know, I still don't know if I'm going to show up. When is it? August 6th. You should just go. Probably, yeah. But it's also one of those things where it's i don't really i don't really get into the emotion of that stuff i don't i don't uh like i've the pomp and circumstance doesn't really no i get you i get you but uh you know but do it for the people. Yeah, I suppose. See, I don't have that connection to an audience the way that you do where it's like you're sending them books and doing all that stuff.

You don't know you do. But to the people that love that show and may have watched every day. Oh, sure, sure, sure. So whether you think you have that connection or not, they're going to be like, there's why it right right you know but i think it's just i'm such a i'm i'm such a sort of anti-mushy person that it's like even if like if somebody's like there's why it i'm like oh yeah but dude if i can learn how to take a little of the love in you know and i was a tough nut to crack you can you can take a little of the love

i guess yeah steve higgins was there i walk in and you said um uh how was conan last night did they laugh did they laugh at you it's better when they laugh and that was nice it was nice i was scared and you'd done and you'd done conan before. Right, yes. And then I sat down, and then you used a zoo analogy for comedians. Have you used that before? Monkeys and all that. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, so that's a regular thing.

No, it wasn't a regular thing. It was just my sort of beginning to piece together where comedians stood in Hollywood. Right. The lions are scary. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you want to see is the lion because the lion is the king of the jungle and it's regal.

Yeah. And the second thing you want to see are the bears because they're the strongest and the fastest. Right. And the third, you want to see the monkeys because they're funny and occasionally one of them jerks off. Right. And what what i said i don't think you had added the jerk off line uh-huh because i said as long as they're not throwing their shit at you yeah got nothing

yeah got no laugh no from you well i would have gone softer as you saw yeah yeah exactly and steve higgins was like this is not going well already and did you know steve before kind of i met him once or like on the scene right and then you just looked at me for a little while uh-huh and uh and i and and steve actually went lauren and you said it's um it's it's important to look in someone's eyes you can see a lot in someone's eyes and then i was trying to exude some star quality of some kind, which was not successful. God, you really remember this. Yeah, I remember it. And then in my recollection, there was a smaller bowl of candy.

And yeah, that's the Tootsie Roll one, but it's a Jolly Rancher in my mind. No, it would have been Tootsie Rolls. Well, I remember I took one, and at that moment, you shot a look at Steve, and I thought I'd failed the candy test. Oh, yeah. No, no. No candy test? There was no alternative candy. There was just the one.

There was popcorn probably there or there. No, I didn't get popcorn. Yeah. And then I had a motorcycle accident, broke both my hands and both my feet. Jesus Christ. I was in, you know, I missed Woodstock. I was in Plaster. Where'd you go back to, Chapel Hill or New York?

I went to Martha's Vineyard, which is where I was living at the time. After I got out of, you know, rehab, I went to the vineyard because that's what I knew. So before Sweet Baby James, you couldn't use your hands or your feet. That's right. And I think that period of time really allowed me to finish some songs, you know, get the lyrics. Yeah. And so that when we went into the studio to make Sweet Baby James, we had everything. Yeah.

It was all ready to go. You'd really thought about them. And we had this great band. Yeah. And we knocked it out fast. And then Fire and Rain took off. And, you know, we hit the road. And that's where I stayed.

That's a great feeling, man. Fire and Rain was a huge song. It was. It was amazing. It's a painful song. In a way, but I think it's not painful to listen to. No, no, no. I mean, there's a transcendent spirit to it.

For some people it is, I'm sure. Well, yeah it's one of those songs that like can be played at a wedding or a funeral right you know what i mean i do i was walking around you know talking to my neighbors people were out in the streets like the fourth of july around here and then at seven o'clock you came then the secret service started to come and we were told that you know he's gonna you know he's gonna fly right from santa monica in a chopper to the rose bowl that's right and which was a good thing to do because like if he chose to drive the motorcade all throughout los angeles it would have stopped everything yeah and and the night you were already being uh called out by name on the radio yeah Yeah, Marin caused a traffic jam talking to the president.

And I felt kind of bad about that. And I was apologetic to my neighbors. But everybody around here was very excited that the president was coming. But the countdown begins. I'm going over the notes. We're setting things up. We're trying to cool the place down. Secret Service is doing their things.

It was wild when all the Secret Service was here. And then like an hour or so after they all showed up, the two snipers come. Yeah. Like, I don't know if they came in a special car, but I just saw two dudes walk up and I'm like, those are the guys. Yeah, one of those guys was the guy

who was on the roof the other day. Yeah. On the roof of this garage. And yeah, there were two of them. So my restroom was the only restroom for all the Secret Service, which I always feel bad about because the door is broken. Yeah, that sniper brought all his gear into your bathroom.

Oh, no, the gun and everything went right in with him. Not going to lose that thing. What I've always been impressed about when I listen to comics talk about comedy is how much of it is a craft, right? And they're thinking it through, and they have a sense of when it works and when it doesn't. And then the longer you do it, the better your instincts are. Same with president. Yeah, same with president. And also, I guess the last thing is you lose fear.

That's right. the other day about why I actually think I'm a better president and would be a better candidate if I were running again than I ever have been. And it's sort of like an athlete. You might slow down a little bit. You might not jump as high as you used to. But I know what I'm doing and I'm fearless. For real. You're not pretending to be fearless.

You're not pretending to be fearless. That's exactly right. And when you get to that point. Freedom. Then, you know, and also part of that fearlessness is because you've screwed up enough times. Sure. That, you know, that. It's all happened.

It's all happened. I've been through this. Right. I've screwed up. Right. I've been in the barrel tumbling down Niagara Falls. Yeah. And I emerged and I lived.

And that's always a that's such a liberating feeling. Absolutely. Right. It's one of the benefits of age. It almost compensates for the fact that I can't play basketball anymore. Well, good. All right. Well, thank you. It was great to talk to you. Were we good? We're good. That was fun. I appreciate it, Mr. President. It was compensates for the fact that I can't play basketball anymore. Well, good. It was great to talk to you. Were we good? We're good? That was fun.

I appreciate it, Mr. President. It was great. Alright, man. That's it, folks. Happy New Year. Be safe. I should tell you, the remixes of my guitar riffs were done by DJ Copley and Paul Buck.

They've been doing these for us all year. Check out DJ at WebPuppy45 on Twitter and Paul at PaulBuckMusic on Facebook. Our theme music, as always, is by John Montagna. Check him out at John Mon on Twitter, J-O-N-M-O-N. Seriously, let's try to get through another year together. We can do it. Also, just remember, you're probably not as bad as you think you are. guitar solo Thank you. Boomer lives! Almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats.

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