WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 672 - Garrett Morris

Episode Date: January 14, 2016

Garrett Morris is the first original member of the Not Ready for Prime Time Players to sit down in the garage. Garrett tells Marc how he made it to SNL despite being homeless, addicted to cocaine, and cursed by his grandmother. He also gets into his career post-SNL and explains how he survived being shot by a would-be mugger. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a night for the whole family. Be a part of Kids Night when the Toronto Rock take on the Colorado Mammoth at a special 5 p.m. start time on Saturday, March 9th at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton. The first 5,000 fans in attendance will get a Dan Dawson bobblehead courtesy of Backley Construction. Punch your ticket to Kids Night on Saturday, March 9th at 5 p.m. in Rock City at torontorock.com. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that.

Uber Eats, get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Lock the gates! All right, let's do this. How are you, what the fuckers? What the fuck buddies? What the fucksters?

What's happening? I am Mark Maron. This is WTF, my podcast. Welcome to the show. to the show. Today on the show, I've got one of the original crew of the SNL gang that started SNL, and that's Garrett Morris. And this is a pretty astounding interview, I would say. And I was excited to talk to Garrett. So that's happening today. Also, many of you know, obviously, that the other day on Monday, when I did the plug for David Bowie's new record, Blackstar, that I had not heard the news that the amazing David Bowie was no longer with us. David Bowie was no longer with us. I taped it the night before, and I woke up to this horrible news.

But I remember when I was reading the copy, you know, like I had this, you know, we were doing an ad for the album, and I was profoundly excited that David Bowie had the new record out because not unlike many of you, I have to attribute David Bowie with really being responsible for a lot of my creative confidence. a lot of the way that, you know, I realized that you could really do whatever you wanted to do and you could really be, you know, whoever you wanted to be. And also that, you know, some of his music, most of it was transcendent and never hackneyed or never like anything else. hackneyed or or or never like anything else and i was uh i was sad when i heard that he had passed away i i guess i wasn't devastated because you know people pass away i'm gonna pass away we're all gonna pass away and and i thought he had left an amazing, amazing,

almost eternal bunch of work. And I just, I look at it, I look at the records, and I mean, I think the first time that I ever came in contact with his work was I was 15, I was at camp, and some guy had that Greatest Hits Volume 1 with Space Oddity and Changes and some other stuff. Maybe it was Changes when I was in. I was at camp. And some guy had that Greatest Hits Volume 1 with Space Oddity and Changes and some other stuff. Maybe it was Changes. When I was in seventh grade, Changes came out.

Fame. No, it was Fame. And I'd heard that maybe John Lennon had sang on the background. But I think it was that one. I think it was Fame. And I think it was Fame, Fame, Fame. I think it was that thing that sort of said, like, who is this guy? And then later, you know, I got the Ch his one album because that kid at camp had it.

And then even later than that, you know, years later in high school, the Steve, the guy at the record store next door, started turning me on to, you know, the deeper cuts of Bowie and making me understand why Bowie was a genius, a true fucking genius. you know bowie was a genius a true fucking genius and also you know his approach or deconstruction or embracing of of even extraterrestrial sexuality on some level you know it was freeing david bowie provided those of us who were sensitive and creative the freedom to know that it was okay whatever the hell you were gonna do was okay and if you felt heavy-hearted about it you could just put on a fucking david bowie song and be elated and transcend the commonplace garbage that culture provides for us he was unto himself he was like another fucking planet and it was always consistent but uh i know that when i heard he died that the first thing i listened to was a station to station twice station to station twice and then i listened

to the song heroes once and then for some reason i put on lodger i just wanted to hear lodger it was a little more fun and so i listened to lodger and and that's sort of uh you know what I did with that day I think one of the hardest things about your heroes dying is that your heroes die and I don't know about you I may think about death in the abstract and I may sometimes think I'm dying, but to really process mortality is fucking terrifying to me, and I want it to be less terrifying. I want to accept it. I want to know it. I want to feel the humility of it

and act accordingly in relation to that without the fear. And I think when David Bowie does something like, you know, have the fortitude and the creative will and the grace to work when he knows he's dying, to leave something, a testament of that process and a sort of timeless gift to those people who loved him and to people who don't know of him. That's an amazing humility and commitment and acceptance. But I always have David Bowie. I can go into my house right now and play Heroes 10 times in a row if I want. And I've done that. and play Heroes 10 times in a row if I want.

And I've done that. You know, back in the 80s, for some reason, the song Heroes, still to this day, when he hits that high note, you know, I just, it consistently just, it takes me to another place, into something, you know, almost dark and victorious, and it's so satisfying.

Then you go to Iggy Pop, you go to The Idiot, and then you go, before that, you go to Lou Reed, you go to Transformer, and then how excited, like to this day, I'm still excited when Satellite of Love comes on Transformer, and you can hear David Bowie singing in the back and if I'm with somebody, I'll always say, you ready?

Just listen. Oh, oh. You know, like that moment where you just know it's Bowie. Ah, whoo. And if somebody you're sitting with doesn't know the song very well, you're like, listen, listen, listen, listen.

And when David Bowie hits a high note in the background of Satellite of Love, you're like, that's fucking Bowie. Oh, you build such a relationship with the work of these people and the good news the good news is that we we will always have that and the the sad news is is that you know his generation of artists you know are getting older you know lou was a pretty big, but then he started to realize, and sadly, David Bowie was not old, old, but he knew it was coming, and he gave us Blackstar,

and he gave us everything that he gave us, and for those of us who love him, it's all there, man. It will always be there, and you can share it pass it on down or just sit with it we're gonna miss you david bowie i am you're so fucking great so what else oh geniuses geniuses i'm not i'm not calling you all geniuses but you know if you want it's okay you can call yourself geniuses as you want you call other people geniuses but you know there's only a few geniuses and i know that some of you um were listening uh the other day before charlie kaufman those of you who who hung in for the uh the opening ramble. And I told a story about my dad's cousin, Brent, the genius.

Now, I don't keep in touch with that side of the family, and it's my father's first cousin. So, you know, I don't know really what all happens. But because of the beautiful advent of technology, you know, people can get in touch. People can get in touch. People can get in touch. And I told that story and I got an email through my website email. Brent Marin, the genius chef, is the subject line.

Hi, Mark. We met once at my grandparents' 50th or 60th anniversary. Eli was my grandfather and Bookie Marin was my grandmother. Now, I knew Eli and Bookie. They were, you know, they were in Jersey. They were, I loved Uncle Eli. I knew Uncle Eli. He came to my bar mitzvah.

He was my dad's uncle. He was my grandpa's brother. I knew Eli and Bookie very well. I have very good memories of them. But I met them when their kids were almost grown, obviously. But anyways, he goes, I listened to your most recent podcast this morning. It brought such a huge smile to my face to hear a story about my father.

Not sure if you know, but he passed away in 2011. He really was a very smart man, and I feel fortunate to have had him in my life. Thank you for sharing your experiences. My mother listened as well, after knowing there was a girlfriend mentioned, that was her. She asked if I could let you know that, quote, she did not smoke pot that night, unquote. Come over for eggs anytime.

My dad trained me as a chef. Jess Marin. Because a few of you were like, what happened to Brent the genius? Well, sadly, Brent passed away, but his son just reached out to me, and that was a nice way to open the email box. All right, so this brings us to Garrett Morris. All right, so this brings us to Garrett Morris. Garrett Morris sometimes does not get the recognition he deserves. He was obviously, or maybe not if you don't know,

the first African-American performer on SNL, on the original SNL. He'll tell that story among many other stories. He's a character. He's went through some shit. He's got a great spirit. And it was great fun to talk to him. I learned a lot of things about him and about SNL and about just the struggle that is the creative life. So let's go now to my conversation with Garrett Moore.

You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats, get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details.

Death is in our air. This year's most anticipated series, FX's shogun only on disney plus we live and we die we control nothing beyond that an epic saga based on the global best-selling novel by james clavelle to show your true heart just to risk your life will i die here you'll never leave japan alive fx Shogun. A new original series streaming February 27th exclusively on Disney+. 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. Yeah, let me call somebody a hot date

and tell them we won't make it tonight. What do you mean? You got time? I'll have to see how they run. She's killing my ass. It's good to know it doesn't go away. Oh, it doesn't go away. Thank you, Jesus. I'm a Buddhist and I'm thanking Jesus. So look, right now I may not be able to make it tonight, okay?

Yes, I'm fine. I just said, Mark thinks he's in Los Angeles. He's not. I said, Mark, this is Highland Park, right? I'm thinking it's Highland Park over in L.A. No, it's Highland Park over near Glendale. Yeah. Well, that's a Highland Park in L.A.

Hancock. There was Hancock. Oh, okay. All right. Hit me on the face. Hancock Park. Right. Okay. I got it. Let me... Yeah. Now you heard Mark just now. Let me get off because I'm wasting his time. But let me call you back, baby. Okay? Okay. Okay.

Bye. Go ahead, Mark. Yes. Yes. Let's get it on. Put some cans on. That's what happened with me. I know it happens. Yeah, you were thinking I had a lot more money than I do. Huh? You were thinking I had a lot more money than I do. You're faking it. All you got are trust funds. Act like you don't have them.

I got no trust fund. I built this garage from scratch, Mr. Morris. And it's looking like something from the 60s, ladies and gentlemen. It does, right? Yes. It's bringing you back? That's right.

It looks like some naked girl from Woodstock. Looks like a hippie archive. Right. Some girl from Woodstock who has that wet top on that you wore. So did you work today? Yeah, I did, yeah. Over at Two Broke Girls? Yes, sir.

Look, after renegotiation, they're going to be broke, okay? And I love it. It's going to go on for a while. They're some of the hardest working, finest looking ladies in the business, but they're hard working. They don't bring, I mean, they give you every inch. You don't quit, man. I mean, you've been working a long time.

I've been lucky. I've been lucky, Mark. I've been lucky. I'm in a business where only 20% are working at any given time. So let's first of all say I'm lucky. You're doing good. Yeah, I'm doing all right. I'm competing.

Now, let's go back because I just talked to Lorne Michaels. Yes, I know. Oh, my God. May I judge you, Fleck? May I judge you, Fleck? Okay. I did the best I could. You know, just like at the name of Jesus at the name of the Lord

every knee must bow did it feel that way when you were there hell yeah are you lying of course man I mean Lord never pulled that out

but you just understood you felt it matter of fact the more silent you are as a master the worse it is it's all like

it's all like my grandmother would never ever spank me. Right. My grandfather would whip the hell out of me. Right. And even put wealth.

My grandmother, you know how she got me? How? She looked at me. Uh-huh. The look in her eyes was of such total disappointment.

You have totally, totally, completely disappointed me. Right? That was, you wanted to just fall into a hole. That was what

Lauren had. That's what Lauren had, right. I feel that, and I don't even know him. So I even look at you and say, and you know, during those times, I admit, I did a lot of stuff that I won't say, I hate to say regret anything. I was in that

at the time. It was wrong. What was wrong? Some drugs? Drugs. A lot of drugs. I got on cocaine way back when they called it the white lady. Yeah, right. When it was still okay to do after dinner. No, but see, white lady is a nice term. Sure, man.

Can I say the word? Yeah. That's going to wreck your life. So I found out that the white lady was really hermaphrodite. Uh-huh. Yes. And she had a long dick. A long one. Right?

Yeah. She had dick to spare. Yeah. Matter of fact, when she walked down the street, she scratched it and got scars on it. That's how long this dick was. And the white lady fucked you. And she shoved it up my ass and just kept it there. She said, I feel good here.

I'm going to say it for like 30 years. Wow, that's a long time. But hello, 10 years ago, I joined Alcoholics Anonymous. And although you're not supposed to mention it, the one thing I hear about Alcoholics Anonymous, the God is alcohol. As if people are on coke and heroin and meth don't get wrecked too. You're not supposed to mention it. No, I mean it. The one thing I hear about alcohol, the God is alcohol. Yeah. As if people on coke and heroin and meth don't get wrecked too.

Oh, sure. But they run you crazy. Yeah. They call you. They badger you. They get you a sponsor. My God. They did it?

You get rid of the habit just to get rid of them motherfuckers. Hey, yeah. Stop annoying me. Stop annoying me. I'm going to stop. I'm going to stop. I'm going to stop. Okay, I'm stopping. I got 16 years.

I know the feeling. I got 10 years. That's October 13th. Congratulations. Yeah, thank you. You went a long run with the blow, dude. Oh, 30 years, bro. That's a long time.

One deviated septum. Did you get that fixed? I got it fixed. I got it fixed. It was still a little weak. But I remember you when I was a kid from SNL. The thing is...

Ladies and gentlemen, that made me feel real old. You look great. But you're a little older than me. But you were acting before that. Yes, yes. Saturday Night Live gave me the comedian mantle. I was just an actor for 16 years.

I started off as a singer and arranged with Harry Belafonte. So where'd you grow up? New Orleans, Louisiana. Really? Well, New Orleans, Louisiana, if you lived there. That's where you were born? Born in New Orleans, raised in New Orleans, in Morgan City, Louisiana. My grandfather was a Baptist minister who was an assistant pastor in New Orleans.

But my mom was raped, and I found out when I studied. And when she had me, she was 16. No kidding. And my grandfather was, we'll go through his dysfunction, but basically he treated her like fecal matter. Yeah. Put her out. This is the minister.

The minister, right. Uh-huh. But they did take me. My grandfather and my grandmother took me, which actually was a great thing. Wow. Yeah. So I was raised, when he left New Orleans to go and pastor a church in Biloxi and then in Morgan City, I went with him at four years of age. So in elementary school, in the wintertime, I was in Morgan City.

And then in the summer, I'd go back to New Orleans. So I had the winter for Morgan City, summer for New Orleans. You saw your mother, though? Did you have a relationship? Oh, yeah, I had a relationship. But my mom, you know, let's say for the first 14 years of your life, your grandmother is the thing. You're calling her, you're relating her like she's your mother.

Yeah, sure. And I used to realize, I realized the difference. So I began to call her, what a lot of people use down there is Medea, right? And by the way, it is not spelled M-E-D-A-A, D-E-A, as some person has spelled it in this movie, okay? Right, right. It's M-apostrophe-D-E-A-R, Medea. We ought to correct that guy.

Yeah, it's not Medea. Yeah, you hear that, Tyler? Right, it's Medea. Get your shit straight. Right, that's right. Get that. My grandfather, despite all the other stuff he did, was responsible for whatever happened in my brain.

Because I now understand from the experts, you got to talk to the child, sing to the child, right? So he had me on his knee at like two and a half, three, reading the Bible. Right. Figured he produced a well-constructed moral person. Yeah. Maybe another- Failure on that one.

I could go either way with that. But what he did was, because he read to me all the time, I was told that at three and a half years of age, I actually was reading the Bible. Now, Mark, if at three and a half I was actually reading the Bible, I didn't know what the fuck I was reading. Until 10 years ago. Right, until 10 years ago. But that was my first thing then when i was four years old they found out i had this vienna choir voice uh i was singing high tenor right so i uh started singing it you were singing the church choir in the gospel choir oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

and on thursday that yeah i was in the junior choir and on fridays i was in the senior choir this is like six years of age so you had that powerful voice I was pretty good at the VI however those Vienna choir boys sound that's how I sound I was singing that E flat above high C okay real high yeah I was singing up yeah yeah uh and so my first experience was with gospel music and I also had a very crazy grandfather because way back I don't know if you know blues was called evil oh yeah but he had me his son listening to Ray Charles and Charles Brown yeah and Louis Jordan in his parsonage right so he was a hypocrite he liked the blues oh he loved the blues right but he also I was singing gospel but he had had me listen to Ray Charles and him in his office.

And also, on Monday nights and Thursday nights, on Monday nights you had the Bell Telephone Hour, and on Thursday nights you had the Firestone Hour, which was classical music. So I was really, he was hooking me up to music in general. So you got to thank him for that? At an early age, I never even thought of it as different. I thought of it only as music, even now. You know, I can listen to, okay, some never even thought of it different. I thought of it only as music, even now. Yeah. You know, I can listen to, okay, some country and western runs me crazy, okay?

Yeah, yeah. But I'm a great lover of Earl Scruggs. Earl Scruggs, yeah. Oh, my God. They're gods. He's a banjo player, right? They are gods, okay? You never heard anybody play bluegrass like that, ever.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was into Hank Williams at an early age. I was also into a guy named Louis Jordan, whom you never heard of. I have heard of Louis Jordan. But during the 40s, he ruled. He ruled. My early experience was like that. So I evolved out of that.

And at a certain point, I even thought I was going to be a minister, which, of course, when I began to deal with theater and entertainment, I, in my head, knew that I was going to try to be in music and into theater. Well, your ministry is its own theater and entertainment. Hello, hello. So I was dealing with that, and I was going back to New Orleans during the summer. You were taking in the music there? Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I used to, there was a couple of clubs, and I was born in Girtown, New Orleans, right? By the way, the great musician Alan Toussaint. He passed away. Yeah, and I found out he was born in Girtown, too. Oh, really? Close by. Yeah, and he mentioned one of the clubs.

Talking about the club. He mentioned one of the clubs I used to stare through the window in, the Dew Drop Inn, right? Yeah. They had the Dew Drop Inn and Joy Tavern in Girtown. Yeah. And as a kid, I used to peep through and just say, damn, one day I want to be

at Antartan. Go in there and just do what they do. I was, however, a student at Dillard with Ellis Marcellus. Oh, really? Yeah, when he was then playing the saxophone. Is he the dad? Ellis Marcellus is the dad of obviously

some wicked witch produced this man, Ellis Marcellus. He's a genius and every one of his children are geniuses. Come on. You know they talk about Robert Johnson went to the crossroads. Ellis

made a deal with the devil somewhere on the seven sisters because every one of his sons. He made a deal. Ellis made a deal with the devil somewhere on the seven sisters because every one of his sons is a devil. He made several deals. He had an ongoing relationship. And when I was a kid,

the first time I heard cool jazz and what would be called avant-garde jazz was through the horn, his horn, and through a piano player named Roger Dickerson.

Where was that? At Dillard University. I was a freshman. Where's Dillard? That's in New Orleans, Louisiana. Okay. It's part of the LCOC. Yeah.

And he would be there then as a student playing great saxophone, not playing the kind of jazz I heard from Pablo Celestino. I said, Alice, what is this

you're playing, right? And he's already heard Miles and people like that. Right, right. And I'm like, damn, I'm loving this shit. Yeah. And Roger who by the way wrote a symphony that was played by the New York Symphony when he was like what in his twenties yeah so these guys I really and I lost him because at a certain point he was gone I've got oh

yeah people graduate okay so you could tell he was a genius. I could tell even then. Yeah, sure, yeah. Later on, when I was reunited with him in terms of fame, he was now playing the piano. And until this day, I still think of him with that horn. Right, like when you were a kid. Right, right.

Yeah, but where do you go from Dillard? Oh, from Dillard, I went to New York. You want the whole story? Sure, why not? Well, I... I want to get you to Harry Belfonti when you meet him. Yeah, in New York, in New Orleans, at the end of Dillard. I had deteriorated into, by the time I was a senior,

I was not on the honor roll anymore. What happened? Well, I'll get to it. I was on the honor roll for my freshman year, sophomore year. Yeah. Junior year, I'll get to it. I was on the round road for like my freshman year and sophomore year. Junior year, I started falling down. And I was also, I was being written up in who's who in the universities and colleges, which then I lost

that. And I lost my scholarship because a whole lot of things happen domestically that I don't want anybody to go into, but basically as blissful and as progressive as my mother's side of the family was. Yeah. When I got to New Orleans, I had 180 degrees on the other side with my father's family.

My father was never on the scene. Yeah. My grandmother was apparently in a class with that lady who was Sybil's mother. Okay. Okay? Yeah. May I say it more? Yeah.

Because basically, I'm going to go through it, but she imported a whole negative energy in terms of lowering the self-esteem of practically all of her children. And because I was raised by my mom's family and had my self-esteem intact, she couldn't deal with that. Right. So by the time I graduated from Dillard, after having told everybody what I wanted to do was go and be in the show business and write, sing, act, whatever

she's saying to me, no, you don't go. You can't go. She told me what she told all of her kids, mainly, you're my proud to me, you owe me. You're my proud to me. You owe me. You're her grandson. Right. You owe me.

Now, I'm 20 years old, right? Yeah. And I've already made it clear that I want to write, ask, and she said, no, you can't do anything like that. You're going to fail at that. You stay here and you teach school. Grandma, I don't have an education thing. Now, I don't care. You owe me.

I'm your grandmother. Now, mind you which all could i say ladies and gentlemen i love my grandmother but she was in this case a bitch a monster because she hadn't really raised me right my mother's family why'd you listen to her my by then my grandmother had died yeah my uh mother uh for my grandfather had married another lady so basically that family had disappeared. So I was forced to deal with my father's side of the family in a much more dependent way. And I was a rebel, which by the time I did get ready to go to get my degree and leave, we had a confrontation which involved me coming in to get my clothes.

She said she's waiting for me she talked to me first now if you ever seen soap operas yeah this is where it was because my grandmother by now is a master manipulator and I now know it right so I'm 20 though she comes in first of all she talks very seriously yeah about how I'm being unrealistic you're not good how can you go there you know gonna not going to study. All of that. Yeah, yeah. Look, show me.

I just said, then she cries. Ah. And that got you? She, no, no, that didn't. Okay. Because she saw, neither one got me. You know what she did the next time? Uh-huh.

Bap, boom, bop, bop, bop. This, I'm talking about the South, man, where grandmothers beat the hell out of the kids. Sure enough, she whipped the hell out of me. No shit. With a fist. And I just ducked my head, took my thing, and when I left, and this is the absolute truth, and I'm only saying this because I'm on your kind of a show. When I left, my grandmother cursed me.

She cursed you. My father's mother cursed me and told me I was Dr. T. No shit. So basically, when I went to New York, I had all that drudgery in me. She said she cursed you? No, she cursed me and said, I curse you, you will not succeed, and blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I get up to New York City, and my grandmother had a daughter, my oldest aunt on my father's side, who had also tried to elope and had problems with my grandmother.

Sure. And where's your father in all this? He's just gone? Like I said, he was dead when I was sick. Dead when I was sick. So when I went to New York after having had this with my grandmother, I'm going there thinking, my aunt, she was a rebel. She eloped. She's going to hook me up. Not knowing my grandmother. I'm going there thinking my aunt, she was a rebel, she eloped, she's going to hook me up. Not knowing my grandmother's called

her and has dug into that part of my aunt that still had that brainwashing. We're talking about brainwashing here. We're talking about abusive. That abusive energy was there and sure enough, my aunt

put me out. You got to New York, she started to fuck you. first yeah for the first five weeks that i was in new york i was homeless and i was sleeping on top of rooftops i'm sleeping in those little drainage things and i had a degree in my little suitcase right and i had many women could i had uh and been involved in a a vocal contest in phil vocal contest in Philadelphia where I won second place. And this lady met me there and said, well, if you come to New York, call me. I'll help you out. So I didn't realize had I gone to that lady right away, I wouldn't have had to have that.

But I had so much pride and all that stuff. She swept in the street. Had I just turned and went to the YMCA, I would have gotten help. All of that. I wasn't thinking like that. Yeah. I would have gotten help. All of that.

I wasn't thinking like that. So I left my brief, my suitcase with this lady because I was too ashamed to tell her I was homeless. She's thinking, he just leave the suitcase here, he's going out, he's better off, right? Sure enough, I get arrested twice. The first time a black cop lets me go. He finds out I'm from Dillard and all that. He said, but look, man, you can't sleep on top of the rooftop.

Okay, they're going to put you in jail. Sure enough, I don't do it well. Sure enough, the next time, I'm not putting a racial thing on this, but his white captain finds me, scolds him and puts handcuffs on me and I wind up in jail. Alright, so now I'm crying because I know what's going to happen

is what my grandmother predicted. She predicted I would fail and sure enough, that's what's going to happen is what my grandmother predicted. She predicted I would fail and showed up. That's what's going to happen. Until on the Monday that I am in the courthouse, I see something, Mark, I had never seen in my life. I see a black judge.

I'm thinking this is a show or something. This motherfucker can't be the judge. And the white guy said, yes, your honor, yes, your honor, yes, your honor, yes, your honor. And the black sergeant, the black guy, he goes up to him and whispers in his ear. And so the judge says, really? I didn't realize that he had whispered to the judge that I was a college graduate. Because the guy had seen my degree. The judge said, really? Come up here. Are you a college graduate. Uh-huh. Right? Because the guy had seen my, your diploma. Yeah. The judge said,

really? Come up here. He said, you a college graduate? Yeah. So I said, yes, sir. His name was

Kenneth W. Stanton, by the way. He said, you a college graduate? I said, yes, sir. He said, what's your,

he said, what's your graduate from? I said, Dillard University. Now, he's going to test me because he thinks I'm lying. Oh, he's going to see if I'm lying.

Right. Because I'm a Buddhist, so I'm not going to say God did it or Jesus did it. I might say God did it, but not necessarily Jesus. Providence had caused him the week before to be in a convention called by Dwight Eisenhower, a convention of black college presidents and lawyers. Black lawyers. So he had met my president. So he said, you come from Dillon?

What's your president's name? I said, Albert W. Dent. He said, send that boy to my chambers. Right? And I'm sitting there. Now, I know something has happened. I'm starting to cry right now because I don't know whether he's going to pack me up

and just put a ribbon on it and send me back to the office. Sure enough, he comes in, he calls the YMCA and the YMCA, the executive director,

says, yeah, we'll let him stay until he gets a job. So I stayed, I got a job and while I'm there, I go downstairs to, because

then my voice was in top shape, and I still was singing a lot of German, French art song, Italian art song, all that stuff. And you have to, singing classical music, even if you're on the more lyric side of it, means you're like an athlete. You gotta go three or four times a week to a coach and just have that muscle do it. Is this opera, or is it just classical? Classical concert music is more like stuff you hear from Handel's Oratorio and stuff like that. Okay, okay. It's not the arias.

Maybe some arias, like I sang Dalla Swapace on Saturday Night Live. On Saturday Night Live, yeah. Because it wasn't mass production. Now, that's a more lyric thing. Yeah. So, anyway. Yeah. You're in top shape, though.

Yeah, there was a gentleman who was with the Belafonte Singers who just come to the rehearsal. What anyway, there was a gentleman. You're in top shape, though. Yeah, there was a gentleman who was with the Belafonte Singers who had just come to the rehearsal as well. His name was Ned Wright. Where were you rehearsing? The YMCA on 135th Street.

Yeah, the YMCA on 135th Street. So he hears me and he says to me, well, you know, they're looking for a tenor. The Belafonte Singers are looking for a tenor.

Now, the Belafonte Singers are a group that Harry managed and basically sent them out by themselves and only sometimes he sang with them at the Greek Theater in New York City or something like that.

But they weren't by themselves. So I went and auditioned and I got the job. And you're like 20? 21, 21, yeah. And I got the job. So that's how I started off. Now, the first 10 years of my career, basically every half year before like 10 years, I was with Belafonte.

But that was like maybe six months a year you had a job. Did you have a relationship with him? No, I can't say that. Some of the other guys did because I was in the third group. So by the time I get there, the older guys have been in the first two groups, right, who they really related to him on a much more personal level. But you met him and stuff.

I met him. I met him. And he made jokes sometimes because I was, I'm out of it, but I was definitely an introvert. So the fact that he didn't talk to me was maybe because I didn't just do what they did. So he had like a franchise going with these groups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he disbanded the group whenever it got good, okay?

Now, that's another story, because he disbanded the third group right after we won the Folksing Award for that year, okay? You won it? Yeah, we won the Folksing Award for that year, and he disbanded us. Why? You have to ask him. I needed that job. Six months on, six months off right so what happened was that's how i got into the business and the other six months i'd either be doing other stuff or doing off-broadway plays or uh we even did a couple i did a couple of

poggin messes oh yeah a showboat or two and i was-Broadway when I wasn't with him. So I was building my resume as an actor, just an actor, when I wasn't working with him. By that time, I had already hooked up a couple of plays, one of which was a thing called The Secret Place. I'm going to learn my... So Lorne came to town looking for a playwright, a writer. Lorne came to town looking for a playwright, a writer. Lorne Michaels? Yeah. And one of my friends said, hey, he's looking for a writer.

Send me a play. So I did. He read it. Basically, it has involved a young man who is the child of a minister who has a whole lot of, he becomes a cop. Yeah. But a whole lot of stuff is in his head that involves the state and the church. But a whole lot of stuff is in his head that involves the state and the church. And it's more an in and out of surrealism about how that works in the mind of anybody.

Right. Who's dealing with trying to be. That's deep shit. Well, thank you. My ex-wife would disagree. You were married at the time? No, no. Actually, I wasn't married at that time, no. Yeah.

I had been divorced at that time. Already? Already, right. We didn't get to that part of the story. We didn't get at that time, no. I had been divorced at that time. Already, right. We didn't get to that part of the story. All right, so Loren's, he's looking for a playwright. Right.

But you'd done some TV already? The movies or anything? I had done some movies, a couple of movies. I did, the first one I did a part was Where's Papa? Yeah, yeah.

With Carl Reiner. Was that fun? Oh, that was a lot of fun. Carl Reiner's great to work with. Yeah, yeah, he's a sharp guy. Yeah, yeah. With Carl Reiner. Was that fun? Oh, that was a lot of fun. Carl Reiner is great to work with. Yeah, yeah. He's a sharp guy. Yeah, and he enlarged the part a little bit for me.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And then I did the Anderson tapes with Sidney Lumet. Oh, yeah. In which I actually shoot Sean Connery and kill him. He's a deep guy, that Lumet. Yeah, he was. Yeah, he was. Good director.

Christopher Walken was in that. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Do you remember? Did you guys talk and hang out? A couple times, but my main friend was a guy who's now passed on, Dick Williams, who was a part of the gang that committed the robbery. So it was Christopher Walken, Dick Williams, and I forgot who else was.

Yeah. And Sean robbed this building. was the ones, and Sean robbed this building. Right. And so Dick and I were friends anyway, because Dick had a workshop that I worked in, which... Acting workshop? Oh, yeah, yeah. Dick had an improvisational workshop.

We did a lot of improv, not like Second City, because Second City was more trying to teach you how to be funny. Our improv was more teaching you how to be real which meant you can be funny sometimes you can be dramatic sometimes so long as you're dealing with the real stuff

so in Dick's workshops and in give it Moses' workshops and in Grand Street Hill any of the workshops at that time more if it was a black workshop

or Latin way it was dealing with more like problems of junkism, you know, of addiction, drug addiction, teen pregnancy. Social issues. Social issues. Community issues. Yeah, and it could become funny. Yeah, sure.

So for me, when I did finally become a part of the Not Ready for Time players, and they started improvising, I was at a serious handicap moment. Oh, yeah. Because Second City, I was so amazed, particularly at all of them. Yeah. But for me, John, and even more so Gilda, just were like effortless. Effortless in getting to the thing that was funny, you know?

And there, there. Well, how did it happen? So Lorne, he's looking for a playwright. And how do you get in there? Oh, you want the nasty story. No, not really. Okay. What happened was there were a couple of people who felt I could not write.

As a matter of fact, felt I could not write. As a matter of fact, because after about eight months of being there, I realized that although I could write plays in which you had long speeches. But he hired you. Right, right. But I wasn't getting down to writing stuff 30 seconds long, a minute long. At SNL, right. Except that I did get one idea that came out of the play yeah in the play right secret place secret place the other point because it's about a cop who infiltrates

this black nationalist group right and in that group we hear the group say comically that when they go to fundraisers attended by blacks, they don't get shit. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Or they get a little bit. Yeah.

But when they go to a fundraiser attended by whites, particularly guilt-ridden whites, they get loads of money. Yeah. Right? Yeah. So it wasn't so much they were putting down, but they were glad that these whites had a little bit of guilt.

Uh-huh. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? So the joke was this black nationalist group working for a black cause gets his money from white people. Right. And that made it in? Right.

So it almost did for me until the person I told it to told it to somebody else who took it and wrote it as their own. Uh-huh own and didn't let me in. You're not mentioning names? I'm not going to mention names because you're going to guess it. But this gentleman is a brilliant man. His life now, he's talking about another thing, he's now politically active. Oh, yeah.

A very important political person. And was one of the writers for SNL, the original SNL. So you know who it is. Right. He was a brilliant man who I knew at the time was a wrestling champ. I knew that.

But I'm so crazy that if you fuck with me, I'm coming at you even if I know you can break my leg. That's right. He's a stocky little wrestler. And that day,

I was going to do Scoy Mitchell. You know who Scoy Mitchell did? No. He knocked out a white producer in 1960 or something. You know who Scully Mitchell did? No. He knocked out a white producer in 1960-something. Have you ever heard of him since? No.

Hell no. Okay. So you're going to take him out. I knew it was going to be rough. I knew I might win it. He might fuck with me. But I was so pissed off that the one idea that I got, instead of saying I'll cooperate with you,

because he had more going, he had more juice about it, he could have done what he always do, partner in somebody who is less experienced, right? He dealt me like, really, to this day, that particular moment in his life, to me, is not one of his brightest moments. He's a brilliant man who has a lot of great moments, but that moment was a moment when he simply took advantage of someone he thought thought he could do it too. Yeah so what happened was I'm a Buddhist right who believes you were a Buddhist then no I wasn't but I'm now and I

Understand that it caused effect cause effect could I was still cool about I'm telling you how serious it was I wasn't even sweating. I was so serious, I wasn't even nervous. I had made up my mind. You're going to take that guy down. I was going to do something to let him know how much I didn't like what he did. Short enough, I get there and somebody, I forgot who it was, they say, Garrett, Lauren wants you in the green room.

Yeah. So I go to the green room and they're looking at Cooley High. And they come to my part and I say, Mr. Mason, and after the thing, Lauren says, I want you to audition for the Not Ready for Primetime players. But did Lauren know that you and that unspoken guy were at odds or no? I remember saying something to him about it, yes. But let's face it, it's like your word against

his word. Sure, but do you think that he had you in as some sort of concession? Let me get to the part. Because basically two people didn't want me there, right? Two people on the staff. The others were dealing with, hey, keep him here. But some people who were producers were agreeing with the two

writers, the head writers. Lorne at that time showed me that he's the guy, you may be a devil but you're his devil. And when he wants to get rid of you, he'll get rid of you then. So basically that's what he his response to them was. So he agreed

to hook me up as a Not Ready for Timebound player and check me out, not have me be a writer, which means that year when they won the writing, the Emmy, I didn't get one. To this day, yeah, it's something that's in my craw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Buddha's taking care of it, right?

Buddha's taking care of it. Buddha's taking care of it, that's right. Right. But here's the thing is, that particular piece about the... The black nationalists. Yeah. Right. But here's the thing is that particular piece about the black nationalist. Yeah. Yeah. That piece came out this way because I did do it. Yeah. Right. You acted in it. Yeah. And it was a way of really making it funny and making the point. Because in it, I say, yeah, I stand here representing 400 years of oppression.

You know, you white people, I know you feel guilty about it, where you treated my grandma, my great-grandpa, and my great-grandfather. That's right, my great-grandmother, she was a slave, got raped by her slave master. And my great-grandfather was a slave. Yeah he too got raped by his slave master. Slave master might have been gay. Anyway I know you feel guilty. For all of those who feel guilty don't worry I come with relief. I'm going to relieve your guilt. Here's how I'm going to relieve your guilt. Send me some money.

Okay? Send me some money. Send it to, and I gave the address. And I said, if you send me 4 July 4th, I will send you an official document certifying you as an official certified Negro. And that's how it came out. That's funny. I remember

that. But that's how that evolved. And you didn't get the Emmy for writing it. No, I didn't get the Emmy for writing it. But, you know, that's the way it's sometimes like. That's, you know, I put it down more to that's how show business go. I didn't look upon it as racist.

But I look upon it as systematically racist. Right, right. The system. Sure. But the people there did what they would. But did you feel that when you were working in those first few seasons? Did you feel isolated? Did you feel like you were?

Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. But my isolation, I have to blame on my part as well, because I was definitely an introvert 100%. Yeah. I didn't do what you're supposed to do, which is, you know, after the show, you should hang out with the people on the show, go to the bar with them, build a relationship. That's when that was established.

Right. You're the first guy. I haven't talked to any of the originals. You're it, buddy. Really? I talked to Lorraine at a live one for like 15 minutes. That's it. Lorraine Newman

yeah yeah okay I didn't talk to Chevy I didn't talk to Dan I didn't talk to none of them I haven't talked you're it wow really

and I've talked to a lot of SNL people but you're the only one that has been in this garage that was an original prime time player wow does that that put me up on a

you're like Obama okay okay okay cause I'm about to talk about the level of your taste, but I see what you're talking about. Okay. So all that stuff was established in those first few seasons.

You do the show, you go out, you party, you hang out, you meet, because it was getting hot, right? Which I never did. Just because that's who you are. It wasn't because you didn't like people. You're just a personal, you're introvert. I am an introvert, and I would go home, yes, and sip a lot of Coke, and do a lot of, okay, I'm not trying to sound like I'm some poppy wrinkle, and do a lot, use a menage a trois

with a couple of girls. That's what I did. That's not terrible. Right, that's not terrible, but it does mean that it's sort of like missing that golf game that you're talking about. Right. You know, that golf game where the business happened. Right, right.

You should build a relationship. You should make sure that you work with, have an attitude of positive contributing, that they feel you're contributing. Yeah. If they don't. Then you're like, that guy's a problem. You got conspiracies. Yeah. Sure.

Right? Yeah. And I realize that's one of my fault. And I realize that's one of my fault. But by the same token, there's a certain lethargy involved in a show that has established a premise that it's not working out. Because I feel that the radical premise that's established in 75 should have included with ease my being able to be a black thing on every show. Right. I had to fight for it. To thing on every show. Right. Right? I had to fight for it.

To be on the show at all. I had to fight for representational being on the show. Oh, and not being stereotyped? Yeah, a couple of lines here and there. But finally it started happening with baseball been better. Sure, sure.

And stuff like that. But again, I'm not even saying it's, I accept some of the responsibility, but a lot of it has to do with the system and people who simply don't want to fight what they see the system doing. So you consider yourself being stereotyped

and the token black guy and sort of pigeonholed in roles that were minimized. Yeah, but mind you, I don't take it myself as a token, but I know that was being used. Okay? They don't know what was going on behind the scenes. It was being used a couple years ago. Right. With that show. Right.

There's not enough black people on there. Hello. So a lot of bloodletting was being done, but it just wasn't working. Right. So a lot of people will say, well, why did you so and so, as if if they do that, it's going to happen. Remind me of Republicans right now. Excuse me.

Those motherfuckers wouldn't do nearly as good as Barack is doing right now. Yet they're saying when their president, they don't know that. Yeah. He's the president and he knows what's coming out of him when the real president is there. Yeah. Same thing with programs. That people look at it and think that you can actually work out your activist internal feelings. Believe me, I'm practically where Bernie Sanders is in my head, right?

Right. I'm sure, and you know what I mean, I'm sure Barack is too. But I like the fact that he realized he could not do that if he got anything done. Now, I disagree with not having a have the single payment thing, okay? Yeah. I wish it would have worked harder not to have those motherfucking insurance companies in charge of everything, okay? On that, conservatives have a good argument.

But still, it is an accomplishment to have it at all. Nobody ever did it before. That's right. Yeah. Incremental progress. Right. Incremental progress. And so the thing, like, people look at programs, even like the one I'm on now.

Yeah. I've had people say, why don't they run it? As if I can go tell 15 riders, hey, God damn it. From now on, you ride every thing, and every line's got to be one that I get every laugh. You know, why? Because my fans meet me out on the street and say to me, No. And every line's got to be one that I get every laugh. Why? Because my fans meet me out on the street and say to me, No, I'm losing my job, first of all. And then what I do, I call that fan and say,

Lend me some money. He say, Gavin, are you crazy? You know what I mean? So you follow the thing of these people out on the street at your peril. Well, you got to make, yeah, and life is full of compromises. You just got to deal with what you can live with. Look, I would say this about two people I thoroughly admire, Dr. West and Tavis, who've had me on their program. But I don't really like the real tenor of attacking the integrity, okay, of the president because he doesn't do what I

on the ultra left side would like to have. I'd like to have marijuana universally legal. I would like to have Medicare that's it. Forget the insurance. I'd like to have that. But if he's there and I know he

wants that and it has to happen. If Cornel West was in there or T Tavis or me, it wouldn't happen either. Right. Because the forces against us, I don't think I can really gauge that unless I'm there. I have no right to say he has attacked his integrity. I have some concerns about a Tavis smiley presidency. No, I'm not putting Tavis down

because I greatly admire the tone of his show. But I'm just saying I would not attack President Obama's integrity on that one. Gee whiz.

Everybody else is doing it from the right side. So did you feel like you were getting a lot of this type of feedback when you were on SNL?

Did you feel like... I got a lot of that. I got... Okay, I'll give you a story because I got a lot of that. I got... Okay, I'll give you a story because I used to look at the Jet to see myself.

In the Jet magazine? Yeah. Because every day Jet, every week Jet would mention black performers. Right. The Jeffersons. They never mentioned

Garrett Marston. Never did Jet mention... And that was eating at you. Look, I'm on TV, Jet. I'm black. Yeah. Right? And all the time, and you know I'm not TV I'm black right and all the time and you know I'm not looking for it with this statement

please nobody call them there are a whole lot of things that happen in that image show way back there I used to go just to look and see mind you I'd already been nationally criticized and lauded for being Saturday Night Live

and a whole lot of things issuing from it, I'm sure, affected comedy and stuff. Then I'm doing a whole lot of stuff. I have never ever been invited to one of those shows for anything. Really? Never, right? Not that I should have been, but I'm saying there's a way in which... Sure you should have been.

No, no. I'm saying in which I know there's certain people out there who think because you're black, that's all. No, black people have a right to have that difference. So there are some black people who look at me really in a way that makes me feel great. There are those who look at me really even now as an absolute Uncle Tom, right? Or as someone who, because I didn't perform the way they would have, should be dealt with as anathema. And I would call some names of great programs

that are on. One program they were going to do a re-thing on Saturday Night Live going back Saturday Night Live and they sent a lady to invite to do a video, do a recording of me

about the show for 45 minutes. 45 minutes, right? They don't invite me to be on the show. I'm not going to say who the was, and please don't perform me, because I don't want. And they invite my beautiful lady Jane, Jane Curtin, and Chevy to actually be on stage with the person. And I'm at L.A.

I could have paid my own way. Right. I would have for this person. Right. Sure enough, they do nothing at all about me. Right. Now, mind you, I absolutely, absolutely view Eddie Murphy as an unqualified genius who deserves all of the praise for whatever he's done.

I don't see why that means Garrett Morris is anathema to some blacks. I don't understand that. There are some really on high levels who feel that way. And this particular person showed it to me because when they did, in fact, have me, it was when the commercial was coming on. Because when they did, in fact, have me, it was when the commercial was coming on. And they had about 10 seconds of the 45-minute thing. Which tells, the world doesn't know it, but I understand that that person is saying, you motherfucker, this is what I think of you.

Anyway. But when you were there, I mean, working with these people, did you get along with John Belushi and Jane and everybody? Look, let's put it this way. I think John was an extraordinary ingenious actor right I was on cocaine and nobody did to my personality mm-hmm I never did what he did with cocaine but I'm gonna grant that a lot of the negative stuff that found this beginning to happen to be not I. Yeah. Came out of that. All right. Oh, I didn't realize you guys had fights and stuff.

No, it's more like there's a way in which, for whatever reason, he began to deal with me as an enemy. Yeah. At a certain point. Yeah. And I never understood why. Yeah. Unless it was because of my rantings, which, you know,

which everybody, a whole lot of people were talking badly about me then. Why? Because you were just crazy? Oh, you know, look, whatever you can think of that people do in their own cocaine, I did it, right? Okay.

So there's some stories that I did not engage in, but I'm allowing my, because I did so much other crazy shit, throw that in there, too. Oh, really? Because there's one story

that's an absolute lie that I was actually naked in front of Kirk Douglas, right? Yeah. Which I never did, but I'm like, hey, throw that in there too all right because there's one story that's absolute lie that i would actually make naked in front of uh kirk douglas right which i never did but i'm all hey throw that in there too say whatever the hell you want right in other words the belief is that if you can say a guy went crazy on cocaine then you can lie about him and he should not everything right did everything so how did it ultimately end there like what happened with the with you and lauren or how'd that go well i nothing happened really in and Lorne, or how'd that go? Well, nothing happened, really. In five years, we were all fired.

All of us let go. And I think a lot of it had to do with what all of us were doing that was dysfunctional. I didn't realize how dysfunctional John's was. Yeah. Because it led to what it led to. Yeah. But I personally don't have a lot of stuff I'm saying about the other people anyway, because first place, I really didn't hang out with them.

And it's not a part of me to give up on that. I mean, I'm talking about if you want to hear about me. Sure. I'm talking about you. Do you have relationships with any of them now? And you never talk to them? Do you ever run into? I always answer that like this.

I've been in a hundred shows, but the only show that people want me to actually have a relationship with is People Inside and Out Live. No, I haven't, although I wish that Gilda was still around because Gilda was a kind of lady who if she would make you, she would write you. Yeah.

I love Jane, but I think Jane was in Martha's Vineyard. Yeah, yeah. Lucky Devil. Although Lorraine is on the West Coast. Again, I had grown out of my introversion, Lucky Devil and although Lorraine is on the West Coast again my I had grown out

of my introversion so some of my I don't know people from my high school sure no I know I mean obviously people would ask that

but I'm always like I'll ask anybody yeah yeah in show business like how come you guys are in a movie you're not hanging out but Tom Davidson

and I became much better friends before he passed away yeah not too long ago yeah not too long ago oh but that hurt because he was very young, very, very young.

Yeah. But other than that, no, and I, you know, it's as much my fault as anybody else because, again, you know,

you got to reach out a hand. Well, how did it feel going back for that anniversary show? That was great. That was fantastic, man. Was it? And you guys,

you know what amazed me? Look. Not unlike when you just did that bit earlier is how easily and quickly everyone popped into those old bits

it was like fucking yesterday I mean to see Dan do the basso matic what the fuck fuck ah right

it was like time travel dude I couldn't fucking believe it I actually met not that I'm saying it's a good thing or bad thing Sarah Palin right and the thing is it's how it's really and I'm gonna say this as a compliment yeah you've got to be really you've got to really impart what intellectually dysfunctional aura for me not even to notice that you are a really good looking chick. Okay, I put that right, right?

All right. Okay. Because she's really a very good looking chick. But I swear from all I've seen of her, it took me a moment to say, get all that other stuff out of the way. And yeah, she is. All right, so what happened after SNL? Well, after that, I had a couple years

in which I was, you know, recovering. I went to my, I would lick my wounds. Where'd you go? Well, I was in New York. My wife then, Frida, said, hey, let's go to L.A., you know. Let's check it out. And at first it was still because I did a whole about three or four years of horror films.

Excuse me. Yes, I did it for the money. Fuck y'all. Okay. And they paid some nice bread for these films that I did. And I started coming out about in the 90s. Yeah. You still out of your mind?

Yeah, I'm still out of my mind. I was still doing the cocaine thing. Yeah. And it took me a while. I forgot what it was, but... Did the Jeffersons? Yeah, I did the Jeffersons. The Jeffersons, right.

That's good. Oh, my God, that was good. Oh, I loved Sherman and Isabel and Marla, whom I've done something else with lately. But Sherman was so congenial, so was Isabel. And Michael Moy, who was one of the writers, is one of the guys who got me in. And they had a whole six-episode series with me as their son who had conned them out of money. And then I came back.

So you got some respect as an actor when you came out here? Yes, yeah, yeah. But because of the mantle of comedy that was thrown on me, nobody knew that before that all I did was drama. I had at least about 20 dramatic stuff. You did Car Wash? That was before SNL. Yeah, Car Wash, right.

Car Wash, right. That was a hell of that's right one of my one of the things I did with dramatic sense then the thing called jackpot yes check it out on your Netflix or whatever whatever jackpot story Garrett Morris and Jonathan Grice but it's been few and far between I'm not complaining because I've done Martin. I've done Jamie Foxx. Ellen, she did Ellen Quaghorn.

Ellen Quaghorn, right. So now you're well employed. Yes, thank you. And Morgan Murphy, right? And Morgan Murphy. And she hooked us up. That's right. Who, by the way, you should know that this guy should thank Morgan Murphy because she's a fine looking, brilliant lady who apparently

is non-judgmental. Well, it took a few years. It took a few years. It took a little. We worked it out. You worked it out. What's the story about you getting shot? Yeah, I... You tired of telling that story? Because I know you

got shot. I think she told me you got shot. I won't say I'm tired of telling it. But yeah, I'm going to get my car done. How long ago was this? 1993. I ran the marathon. Did you? That was the last year I ran the marathon.

On coke? No. Okay. Yes. As a matter of fact, in 94, 94, no, I went on the action. 94 is when I got shot. And no more Marathons after that. I was getting my car done.

There's a guy, his name is Kamadi. He does your car. But he was taking care of somebody else when I went to his place. So I said, well, Kamadi, I'm going to get some orange juice. I said, you want some? He said, no.

So I go out, and there's a couple of gangs on the other side of the street. And a couple of them said, hey, Stan, hey, how you doing? So they know me. But I don't realize that some people don't, right? And I have on this black jacket that had Africa on the back of it.

And I'm thinking that this person who jumped me wanted the jacket. But he jumped me wrong, because believe me, at the time I was 5'6", weighed maybe 155 pounds. Although I am a black belt at the time, in no way am I about to charge into anything. My main thing is to follow Richard Pryor's way. I'm trying to get out of your way through comedy, first of all. I'm trying to reason out of your way through comedy, first of all. I'm trying to reason out of your way, right? And only if you get me in a corner, would I be like a cat who,

even if a pit bull gets a cat in a corner, before the pit bull kills that cat, he's going through a lot of shit, which after the thing, you'll say, damn, I'm sorry I did that, right? So I'm saying all that to say, had the guy come in front of me with a gun and say, Mr. Morris, hand me your money.

I was, hand me that coat. I said, yes, sir, here's my coat. Here's my money. My wife's at home. Go get that bitch. Take my car. Everything. No, he came from behind.

Now, I hadn't been in a dojo in years. And again, I'm saying my mentality is not to charge anybody with a gun. You got a gun, my hand's going up. As a matter of fact, the first thing Duk Soon's son, who taught me, taught us, first he starts his class off with, you know

a person's a bully. I asked my man, what's he say? And Duk Soon repeated, you know a person said? And Doug soon repeated, you're not faster than a bullet. He says, you're not faster than a bullet. He starts his caps with that. Yeah. Right?

So believe me, had the guy come from in front, I would have been told. He comes behind, so I go into my routine right away. So I hadn't been in the dojo. So I'm embarrassing his ass, right? And I turn around to side kick him, and the gun is pointed at me, right? And I turn around to sidekick him, and the gun is pointed at me, right? And I say, hold on, brother. Pow!

And it goes through my arm, into my thing. I get a colostomy I had to wear for like eight months. I was out for, it ricocheted to my body, knocked out an artery. I was in a coma for like four days. Damn.

I had arterial restoration. And you were working at that time. I had to have one. My lumbar five is missing because the bullet didn't go through. It went into the middle of it, and it was a dumb bum that didn't explode. Thank God, man. So I got a lot of miracles going on. And only because it traveled ricocheting did it lose velocity.

So by the time it hit hard bone, it had lost enough velocity not to go to. Oh, you would have been in a wheelchair. Right. So I had about a couple years of a wheelchair. Another couple years was a body cast and all that thing. Jesus. And I was told I would not walk or run. I was told I wouldn't run, which they're true on that.

And I wouldn't walk without assistance. Well, if I get it up about an hour, I can walk without assistance. And to show you how things happen that can lower your self-esteem in one case and raise it in another. You would not believe that getting fired could actually raise your self-esteem, would you? Uh-uh. All right. I got fired while I was still in the hospital undergoing 10 major operations.

The producers of the show fired me from the show I was in. What show? Martin. Uh-huh. And the thing that really fucks with me is that Martin went around the world on to talk shows telling people that he went by my bed and cried for me when in fact I was

sitting on a bed after the second, third major operation and got a script saying about my part, Stan. Stan sells the radio station and moves to China. Now tell me Mark, does that mean I'm still in the fucking show? No.

I don't answer. Hell no. Right? Yet this guy had the nerve to do that and then go around telling people he had done the opposite. And I know it sounds like I'm dropping a dime, but I don't mind dropping it on what I consider to be hypocrisy right in the bullseye of hypocrisy. Okay. Having said that, those people who know him know that brilliant comedian, maybe even a genius when it comes to that.

Yeah. But when it comes to treating people in a certain way, he's also a genius at that too. Yeah. But I could never imagine myself having somebody in a hospital who's been in my show having me do anything else but write to play in a way that fits

what happened. Why couldn't Stan have been in an accident and still be in the show? Right. What happened to me came out of ego. That's what I'm talking about.

Sure. It came out of somebody who had had something against me anyway for whatever reason. I got the chance now. Right? Because he was believing that it was drug related, which it wasn't.

Right? He didn't know the story. He didn't know the story and didn't care about the story. Or for that matter, if it had been drug related, what about the guy who's been in your show for three fucking years? What about your allegiance to him? Wait until you know the fucking real story. Right. Right?

He never talked to me. He never said anything to him. Wait until you know the fucking real story. Right. He never talked to me. He never said anything to me. Yet based on whatever he thought I was fired after four major operations. And I I'm so a fool with this till when I talk about it I gotta tell the truth. So you've recovered.

I recovered yes. You're doing alright. I'm doing fine yes. Yeah. You look good. Well thank you. You got all your marbles I'm doing fine, yes. Yeah? You look good. Well, thank you, Mark. You got all your marbles. Well, my ex-wife might disagree with that one. How many ex-wives? Two. You got kids?

No, I don't. I have a whole lot of beautiful nieces and nephews. Well, that's nice. I love it. I hope they're listening happily, joyfully. They keep me broke, okay? So I don't have kids to put my money on. And it's sweet, though.

You're doing all right. Actually, they work for me. Oh, do they? Yeah. My machine works very efficiently because of my niece. Oh, that's great. And did you own a comedy club? Yes, yes, yes.

And for those who may be interested, we are on hold until February. L.A. Blues and Comedy, check it out. We're on hold until February. What.A. Blues and Comedy. Check it out. We're on hold until February. What does that mean, on hold? We're down. The show's closed until February. And how does that show work? What do you do down there?

Me and a guy named Deacon Jones, who's a great Habit 3, Beat 3 organist. Oh, I love it. We do blues and comedy. Because in my opinion, blues itself is just somebody. So, it's a variety show the variety show right um so uh we do uh interspersed our blues our songs with uh several comedians and what's the venue huh where's it at well right now we were nowhere oh all right so you don't have a home we don't have a home right now no and when we walked into this you were in my kitchen you saw that that uh that drawing of red fox there hey he was a god to me man did you know him

let me tell you a story man one of the most beautiful stories in my life yeah was when i went to safari safari to see him mind you as a kid i'd seen him at the Dixie's Theater in New Orleans. Uh-huh. And I'd seen him on TV. Uh-huh. And I'd already had the honor when I was in Saturday Night Live of knowing that he had implied, he had incurred whether or not I could come do an episode of San Francisco. Uh-huh. As I'm sitting there, listening to him do his show, doing his wash. Where is this, Safari?

Safari in Las Vegas. Okay. He's doing Gotta Wash Your Ass, right? Yeah. The classic. Yeah. So I'm going through the whole thing

and my wife at the time, Frida says, he's talking about you. So I said, no, he ain't talking about me. Then I listened and I realized

he said, this guy came to New Orleans. I said, oh, yeah, right? You know what he does? What? Stand up, Garrett Morris. Everybody give Garrett Morris a hand. And he talked for about a minute about me.

He said, okay, man, sit down. I see my dressing room. Have some, and he called the guy's name. Have Poco or Pepe go take the dressing room. And I'm not going to tell you what else happened to the dressing room and I'm not gonna say what else happens in the dressing room you had a good time

had a good time right there it is he had the finest looking young chick from Ohio you talking about

robbing the criminal yeah some pretty good coke too he robbed a womb oh yeah oh boy yeah he liked to have fun

you said pretty good coke, so I didn't say that. Yeah. You didn't say that. I said it. Look, okay, yeah. Everybody do about it. He had the kind of stuff

that Keith, who apparently now, he wasn't that way when I saw him at the 40th. Yeah. But I guess I can talk about Keith. He talks about himself. Keith Richards? When he would come,

Richard, when he would come to the show, the good thing about Keith is that he wouldn't have the bad Richards? When he would come, Richard, when he would come to the show, the good thing about Keith is that he wouldn't have the bad connections I would have. Yeah, right. Because I would be stomped on all the time. Right, right.

He would have pure pharmaceutical cocaine, man, that rises up from the fucking bottom. He'd bring it, I'd say, why is it empty on the bottom? Garrett, that's what I'm assuming. Come here. Motherfucker. And he would just move the whole fucking table, man.

That's Keith. I talked to him. That's Keith. That's why he's still alive, Garrett. Yes. And look, you talk about really knocking you out. Because I know what you say about his other life. I regard him as an utter genius.

Who, Keith? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Utter. He, I heard across the room on the phone, Garrett, is that you? Garrett. He loved you. Yeah.

You know who also knocks me out when I meet him? Who is, I think, one of the most magnanimous guys. Who? Who, I don't know what you're talking about, his acting. I love his acting. Tom Hanks. Oh, yeah. I saw him on his Broadway show, right? Yeah.

Now, Dick Cavett is there. Everybody's there, right? I'm not even in the room yet. I'm behind Dick Cavett. He peeps around like that. Ladies and gentlemen, and he starts quoting everything. The top star tonight. Come on in here, Garrett, boy.

This is Tom fucking Hanks, right? Now, I know you're saying he's just like a buddy. Yes, he is. But you understand, every time I met him. Nice guy. He's been a nice guy. You're not even aware of the fact that this is a fucking Academy Award winner

who's got billions in the bank or something he i mean i'm sure he deals with everybody that way yeah yeah he seems like a good yeah well i tell you something man your grandma was wrong you did all right show business been very very good to you garrett Morris. Thank you, Mark. Hey, you're doing all right, man. In this garage, ladies and gentlemen. Looking cool. I'm working from home, brother. I know there's some porno mags around here.

Yeah, we'll do that after. I'll give you some porn after. I want to see some Jenna Jameson and some Vanessa Del Rio. I could do that right on the computer. Vanessa Del Rio. Yes, yes. Oh, my God. Yes, remember her?

I do remember her. All right, buddy. Thanks, man. All right, man. Okay. Thank you, Mark. That was fun. A lot of fun. A lot of Yes, yes. Oh, my God. Yeah, remember her? I do remember her. All right, buddy. Thanks, man. All right, man. Okay. Thank you, Mark. That was fun. A lot of fun.

A lot of fun, man. Let's see. What time is it? Can I go to... Where? Inglewood? Yeah. Is this right?

629? Yeah. It's on the 629? Yeah. I could go to Inglewood. Yeah. Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah.

Yeah, it's easy from here, man. Right. I'll show you. Sure is. I'm coming over, baby, if it's all right with you. Okay, okay, I'll be over there, baby. All right? Okay, baby, bye.

She sounds like a nice lady. She's very nice. Okay, that was Garrett Morris. I hope you had a good time. I enjoyed that immensely. Go to WTFpod for all your WTFpod needs. Let's not get into it too deep. I'm sort of in a time crunch right now.

And I need to play guitar. Right? Go guitar. Right? Go clean. Right into the little beast with the black beauty. so Boomer lives! Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Calgary is an opportunity-rich city home to innovators, dreamers, disruptors, and problem solvers. The city's visionaries are turning heads around the globe across all sectors each and every day. They embody Calgary's DNA. A city that's innovative, inclusive, and creative.

And they're helping put Calgary and our innovation ecosystem on the map as a place where people come to solve some of the world's greatest challenges. Calgary's on the right path forward. Take a closer look at CalgaryEconomicDevelopment.com.