WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 763 - Joe Matarese

Episode Date: November 27, 2016

Comedian Joe Matarese has struggled with bouts of rage, anxiety, and paralyzing indecisiveness. As he tells Marc, Joe is correcting these problems through medication, therapy, help from his wife, and inspiration from one particular episode of WTF. Joe also explains why his big idea of being the comic who snaps on the audience didn't have a lot of running room. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Take a closer look at how at calgaryeconomicdevelopment.com. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising.

Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Lock the gates! store and a cast creative all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fucking ears what's happening? I'm Mark Maron. This is WTF. It's my podcast. Welcome to it. Hope you're hanging in. I hope that the holidays, the first wave, didn't beat you down too much. Maybe even at a nice time. I don't know. I underplayed it dramatically. Today on the show, my old buddy Joe Matariz is here.

Joe and I kind of started together back in new york and he's got a podcast called fixing joe and he's also got a a cso comedy special coming up that's this thursday december 1st um but i haven't talked to him in a while and i always liked joe despite the fact that he never seemed to believe that i liked him because i was hung up on a joke of his that I still like. But he just he thinks I'm fucking with him for some reason. Perhaps I'll bring that up in the conversation. I'm going to be in Chicago this Saturday, December 3rd, for two shows at the Vic.

You can go to WTF pod dot com slash tour to get the link up for tickets. I think the first show might be sold out. Second show is I believe there's still. Yeah, I think there up for tickets. I think the first show might be sold out. Second show is, I believe there's still, yeah, I think there's still tickets. I don't keep on top of this. I'm excited. I don't know how cold it is, but I got to get,

I'm preparing for it here in LA. It got chilly in LA. It's a brisk 55 degrees right now, and I'm wearing a toque and a flannel over a t-shirt I layered up. What else have I got coming up? In the immediate future, not till January 24th, I'll be at the Ruby Diamond Concert Hall in Tallahassee, Florida. February 17th, I'll be at the Carolina Theater in Durham, North Carolina. On February 18th, I'll be at the Knight Theater in Charlotte, North Carolina. And then March 2nd, the Ridgefield Playhouse.

That's in Ridgefield, Connecticut. March 3rd, the Music Hall in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. College Street Music Hall in New Haven, Connecticut on March 10th. Troy Savings Bank Music Hall. A lot of coming up. I got Burlington coming up and we're adding more dates on into the spring.

You can go to wtfpod.com slash tour for all those dates. There's going to be a bunch of new ones going to be up there soon. I've been having some experiences. You know, I read an article, HuffPost piece, on the escalation in heckling since the election of Trump, the escalation in, you know, nasty name calling heckling or just a sort of ease in which people say shitty things about ethnic groups or about liberals. That buzzword is back. The liberal, the broad liberal buzzword you know some people are democrats some people republicans some people are independents but like liberal takes on this whole sort of like be like it even means anything to anybody who uses it in that tone

but uh but it's back it's been here before familiar with it but i you know i work as a comic and you know you have to sort of figure out the angle in terms of how you're going to talk about this stuff and yeah i've been almost non-political for most of uh you know the run of this podcast give or take certain issues that affect me personally and this affects me personally so i'm going to talk about it but i i'm not it's not about alienating people it's just about having an emotional response and then yeah i'm watching other comics and they're nervous everybody's nervous nobody knows what's going to happen they don't you know they're nervous about the president whether they voted for him or not the new president that's going to come in they're nervous about the country they're nervous about everything it's very and people get afraid to talk up there but you got

to express your feelings if that's the kind of comic you are and you have to realize what the fuck is up you know where i don't know where people are getting their information or what they're basing their uh engagement with reality on i know that that there's a general lack of a sense of the interconnectedness of humanity because we're all so fucking detached and just sort of shut into our own little worlds, our own little cliques, our own little communities, our own little homes, our own little, you know, online avatars and screen names. I don't know where people have, what is the collection what is the collective what holds us together people don't get their news from the same place most people get their

news from a clickbait and hearsay with the occasional catchy meme there's no barometer of of truth or integrity to to to most of the information that's out there so people like you know well how do you know yeah you you read a what you read an article well how do you know it's true who knows anymore what's true what you know i just kind do you know? You read a what? You read an article? Well, how do you know it's true? Who knows anymore what's true or what's not? I just kind of click around, kind of surf a little bit, take in some, just read the headlines. And then here, I take in what people tell me. I see some pictures.

And whatever sticks. Whatever sticks. Whatever I feel in my gut is truth. That's what's truth. Well, that's that's not real. Not really good integrity barometer of any truth. I guess what's integrity? What does that even mean anymore?

It's not even a word. I don't think that's a made up word. Journalistic integrity. That's that that that is a talking point. All right. So you just find news that fits your particular point of view and makes you comfortable in your personal truth. Whatever that is, left or right. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Well, terrific. So that's out. There's no collective sensibility about the integrity of information. So as a comic, all I can do is what I've been doing for the last couple of decades. And that's speak from my heart and react to what's going on. Now, I'm prepared to process and deal with heckling in the moment. It's not something I have a problem with. It's something I learned early on.

It's a skill set that as a comic you either lock into and you learn how to do or you don't. I did. I don't take any shit up there. That's our space. That's your comic space. First of all, heckling in general, despite what anyone is saying, it's not right. You're supposed to behave like a fucking audience member. It's not right.

You're supposed to behave like a fucking audience member. But it seems to be an established type of thing that people like heckling is a thing we have to deal with continually. Now, the idea that there's an upsurge in inappropriate heckling. Yes, some hecklers help the show. Some hecklers want to have a conversation. Yeah, but some hecklers are just, you know, kind of fuck you people. And we know who the fuck you people are. Here's the interesting thing. Look, I have I'm not having some major issue in, you know, accepting as an American the election.

I'm not, you know, I'm not naive. Yes, the election is done. We have a new president. But the only thing that the popular election, if anything, implies other than the number of votes one candidate had over the other, it's not a matter of winning or losing. But what it is a matter of is there is no social mandate for being a douchebag in public. There is no majority. This is a minority rule. It's the way the Republic works. It's the way democracy works in this country.

I understand that. But the numbers do not and should not give anyone a social mandate to be a fucking douchebag in public and treat people badly and say shit that they know that they shouldn't have said. This is what's going to have to happen ultimately,

is that people who respect humanity, whatever side you're on, who respect the collective idea of what our country represents, which is we all live together, we're all Americans, you're going to be called upon, if you're a decent person, no matter who you voted for, we're going to have to say in public situations, hey, you know what? Hey, hey, hey hey it's still not okay to do that no that that's no there's you don't have license to do that and whatever that is you fill in the blank for yourself oh whoa whoa it's you

know what it's not okay to say that not saying it's against the law you have a constitutional right to do it but socially in the world we live in in you know american culture and society it's like you know be like be act like a fucking person so there is no social mandate for being a douchebag in public i understand people are excited on both sides but that's just the truth of it and that that as a comic is something we're all going to have to deal with. It's like, if you don't like the show, leave. If you want to make a spectacle out of yourself while you're leaving, fine. If you want to talk out during the show, I'll deal with you for a little while. But ultimately, you're just ruining the show for a lot of people that wanted to see the show because of your opinions in that context.

There is no social mandate for being a douchebag in public. Try to act like a human being. You know what they are. This is a bipartisan request. So Joe Mattarese. Joe Mattarese and I go way back. I don't know that we were like buddies, but we were around each other and I always liked him. I always liked Joe. Very nice guy. I liked watching him do stand up.

I just liked him and we never had any real beef. You know, he lives in New York and, you know, I know he's got this podcast going. I've been sort of we've been trying to figure out, you know, how to get him on. And because he does, he's not out here a lot. And I was happy we put this in a can a while back. And there's a couple of interesting things, a couple of interesting things going on for Joe. As I said earlier, he's got a new comedy special on CISO that premieres this Thursday, December 1st. He also has a podcast called Fixing Joe.

You can get it wherever you get podcasts. But also, he's doing this interesting thing. He's making a TV show based on his podcast and web series, okay, on Fixing Joe. And he's looking for writers. So if you're interested, and this is real, if you're interested, you can go to JoeMatterese.com to take a look at his web series, read the show description, and contact him through the email listed on the site if you want to be a writer for Joe's new show. I've never, I've never, this is a very democratic way to do that. I don't know what, if Joe knows what he's gotten himself into, but, but that's what he told me to tell you.

And I'm telling you that right now. And now let's, let's talk to my old pal, Joe. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed,

how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. only on Disney+. We live and we die. We control nothing beyond that.

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a new original series streaming February 27th exclusively on Disney+. 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. Atta Reese. I had a moment, believe it or not. Yeah.

Listening to one of your interviews, and I don't know if I should say which comedian it was. Sure. I was listening to the Al Lubell episode. Yeah. And I'm sure- It's a great episode. It was. It wasn't that long ago, so you probably- Al Lubell episode. And I'm sure it wasn't. It's a great episode. It was.

It wasn't that long ago. So you probably. It's a great episode. Now, I don't know how detailed your memory is for different interviews. Well, he mentioned to you that he was jealous of your neuroses because yours was more masculine than his. Do you remember that yeah and he said what he hates about his is that he can't make decisions yeah and he has to ask everybody what they think and he said you come across more like tough yeah and i was i remember i was driving home from a gig

i was at laugh boston yeah and i wasn't happy with how i did yeah i just i don't know it was like one of those it was one of those like the the last show was the worst one all right not horrible but bad enough to ruin all the other ones yeah yeah the last one was bad and i got an email oh my god you ever get the email from a fan? Right after the show? The next morning. Oh, yeah. I opened my email. I'm still at the Starbucks in the hotel that Laugh Boston is in. Before you drove home? Before I drove home.

Yeah. I open an email. And it just says, hey, man, was that your show last night? You might want to up your meds. I don't know what's going on with you but it wasn't funny and you seem like you're in a bad place you might want to like get your wife to psychoanalyze you some more and fix you like because i have a psychologist wife right and uh he was just like it wasn't funny it wasn't good just really nasty negative shit about my show but it wasn't like was he being a douchebag or he just didn't get it was he just disappointed or no he was right that's what it was

i didn't have a good show right but he didn't you could just say hey happens you know it's uh you know the other shows were good uh you can yeah put it into perspective you could do that but something hit me where i was like when they hit it where like they just somehow read exactly what you you think you might have gotten away with it with some people and then they're just sort of like they tell you exactly what you were thinking yes and and then also it was easter yeah and i was missing like the candy exchange right I was because you still had to drive four hours or what yeah it was yeah I won't be home till noon they already had their Easter baskets right not a big deal in my house really right but my kids are only eight and four years

old they don't know that but that guy didn't like you didn't need to up your meds you just had a shit was it what was the second show Saturday yeah fucking well this is what i don't know if you ever did laugh boston it's in this hotel and uh usually the audience is whatever corporate event is going on in the hotel yeah so that's what it was now you're at a point where you're finally get your fans but i hear you on your podcast talk about doing shows sometimes where you got some other people that just came yeah you gotta do the work well yeah well i'm at the level that it's almost all people that just came and a few fans and a few fans yeah it's hard for those fans to understand yeah so like when you talk really honestly about being on medications you're being a dad and you're 22 years old, you're kind of lost sometimes.

I don't really want them in the audience. Don't say that. I mean, I want them, but I've come to the point where I'm like, in my head I'm going, if everyone here was like 35 to like 70, this is a home run 95% of the time oh no i agree with you it's nice to have a grown-up audience grown up yes so what'd you write back to this kid what happened i wish i could i wish i could pull up the email right now but i wrote him back like you mean

i was i just said like dude you fucking hurt my feelings it's easter morning do i really need to you know i gotta drive all the way home this is what i i wake up to and i'm and i'm feeling kind of shitty and i start driving and i put on the your episode with uh alubel right and he's talking about not being able to make decisions yeah and it just fucking hit me like a punch in the face like a like a punch right in the nose or your nose bleeds yeah i was like i can't make decisions no wonder i can't make decisions i do a podcast called fixing joe where the audience and my guest is trying to fix me they're helping me with every single thing in my life i go that's pathetic that's not a confident stance i go you're done it's not fixing joe anymore you're i go i want to be able to make

decisions and i was like at the drive of my wife crazy returning everything i would buy from car wanting to return a house you know like just stuff you can't return yeah like i was at that like we went through a point where that the house we were living in before the house we live in now yeah like i couldn't just move forward i would just be like we got to fix this and we got to fix it's like i have a brother who's in construction yeah every you know really he used to be for many years he was like a general contractor he knows how to do everything so whenever i would go to do something or want to do something hey do you do you think I should do this? What do you think? You know, I'm returning stoves and dishwashers. I'm torturing people.

So anxiety ridden. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if what I'm doing is the right way to do things. I get jealous of people that just sort of get things done because really, once you set things in motion, like it it's all about dread but like you're actually buying shit and giving it back but i i bought this washing machine i'm not happy with because i don't think it's cleaning things but but you don't return it well i've made some calls and and the thing is is that they don't make them any different now they all the old style washing machine with

the real thing the agitator that fills up all the way they don't exist anymore hardly it's all this low water water efficiency no big agitator shit right so like i i guess what i'm gleaning is that we all just have to live with slightly dirty clothes now because that's the way it is well what i'm learning is is'm learning is like a version of that, which is just move forward, man. Yeah. Stop moving backwards so much. Because I got to tell you, when I heard that interview with Lubell.

You didn't want to be Al Lubell. I really, I felt bad. I wanted to drive to your house and hug Al Lubell. I'm trying to remember like the last time we were in the same world you know like where because I know you get mad at me because I always quote this joke of yours you've you've mentioned it on your show like several times I don't know maybe twice I don't know but I mean it was like because there was a time I guess I'm a little older than you but you were kind of around and when I was living in New York, when did you start?

I started comedy in 89, believe it or not. Right. Okay. Jesus. So yeah. And that's not much longer after me. So we were in New York around the same time and you had your kind of spiky hair, good looking guy doing it. I always thought you were some sort of, you know, a bro.

I'm sure you did. Yeah. But I think I was. Yeah. I think I've evolved away from no no no i definitely think that but it's just so funny how sometimes you hold people in this place and then like i would see you around and then i knew you had this uh that you were struggling with things and you were doing it publicly and then you did the podcast did you did you get divorced too

never got divorced somehow i just didn't get married till i was a lot older i didn't do the young marriages i had a long couple of long relationships but somehow didn't marry them yeah luckily yeah i'm trying to remember like because i mean we didn't know each other that well but we knew each other well enough we were around like stand up new york and shit right yeah i have one vivid memory about you oh yeah is it a bad one yeah kind of what happened you didn't piss me off or anything right for some reason yeah we didn't hang you and I did you decide I didn't like you or something no no I just think um you were one of those guys you know what you kind of remind me of what like when I started I started in 89

in Philadelphia really a Philly guy? Yeah. I did my open mics at this place called the Comedy Works and the Comedy Factory Outlet. They were across the street from each other in Philadelphia. With Kurt? No, no. It was way earlier. Way before that. My guys were Paul F. Tompkins was the host of my open mic.

Yeah. And Todd Glass was a couple years before me. And believe it or not, Adam McKay. Yeah. You know. Really? or not, Adam McKay. Yeah. You know. Really? The Adam McKay was, you know, and did open mics with me also. Uh-huh.

And those guys hated me. Because you were a bro? Yeah. Right. And I had a mullet. I had Cavaricci pants. It was bad. I did a Nicholson impression.

I mean, everything you shouldn't do, I was doing. Well, you were doing what you thought you had to do to do the job. I didn't know that you could be yourself. Right. I really didn't. But you're from Jersey? Mm-hmm. I used to drive over the bridge, sign up for the open mic.

I lived 15 minutes away from Philly in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. So it was easier than going to New York. Yeah. Yeah. I waited four and a half years before I moved to New York. So wait, you're going to Philly, you're doing Nichololson you got a mullet yeah what did you comics would yell no from the back and i would still do it you know those guys that just keep doing the same bit that works at open mic yeah and you don't i know now but but back then you didn't know that you should

be doing new shit and evolving where they're're trying to help you. Yeah. Don't! Still remember this guy, John Madda. Don't! And I would still, I would put the hand on the head. Oh, you did it all, huh? The things that Dennis Miller made fun of, I was doing. Well, he used to be a prop comic. Don't put it too high. Yeah.

Oh, that's good to know. Yeah, there you go. Take that. Dennis Miller did props. He did. Yeah he did yeah yeah well you know what it was is when i started i would do what i what other comedians were doing yeah that's what i would do i would go oh they do jokes about commercials i should do jokes about a commercial i didn't talk about me well no but that but that's not a bad mistake i mean you're figuring out how to do comedy right do you know what i mean i mean some of those like adam mckay

doesn't even do stand-up anymore he did it for a short amount but right but he was weird and alti so was paul f tompkins i know but but i like them when i was coming along when yeah but like what i'm saying is that you know whatever they eventually ended up doing broadening whatever they became it's like you wanted to do club comedy i was tougher then i wasn't as neurotic as i am now that's a question that's sort of interesting to me is that like you did you always struck me as a guy what would you grow up like italian working class what was it? 100% Italian, but not really. You know what's odd is not really working class. I do jokes years ago a lot about not being an Italian Italian. My dad is a chemical engineer.

I used to say I'm more of an Alan Alda Italian. That's what my dad. He's not a Tony Soprano. He's an Alan Alda. Because people don't realize Alan Alda's Italian. He is. But he is. Yeah.

My mom, more of the stereotypical Italian. My mom, I would describe as Ray Romano's mother on Everybody Loves Raymond. That's my mom and my grandmom are very similar. Right. But still, it's how you're going to enculture yourself in high school and grade school. I imagine most of what defines you was who you're hanging around. Sure. And like, you know, you must have been hanging around those guys.

That's why. And you know what? It's funny. That's why you end up moving. And you also end up moving away from your family. If you feel different. I guess I was like I said, I wasn't being me. Right.

Like I was being these guys but you felt that but I could feel it because I knew I wanted to be a comedian even at 15 and 16 I went through a lot of different personalities like I wasn't just you know what I mean like I could sort of move freely through a lot of different groups I mean culturally you know I wasn't Italian I was Jewish but I was in New Mexico it didn't matter but i went through a little bit of a hippie period a little bit of a new wavy kind like i would kind of move around me too i was more of the hippie like 10th grade in high school oh yeah i had the long hair everybody had the rock t-shirts and the but you're a rock guy i was into rock i would go to a lot of concert a lot of pot yeah and i went to a lot of- Concert t-shirts? I smoked a lot of pot and went to a lot of rock shows.

Who was your bands in? I always liked Rush growing up. You were a Rush guy. I was a Rush guy. I got to admit it. Wow. I've been criticized for giving Rush short shrift on the show. I've dissed Rush.

You have. Yeah, I have. But I saw them three times. Look, I'm'm not gonna deny that they're great musicians that's what they are i was a guitar player in high school and 2112 is great yes it's great yes yeah what is that but now i think i have all yeah i love that you're just dude buy it there was nothing more fun than when you played guitar and getting your first echo pedal.

And getting to go... I was like, yes! You played guitar? I did in high school, yeah. Oh, you were going for the full rock guy. I played in some bands, but I never got great at that. I used to bail on a lot of things. Stand-up is really the only thing in my life I didn't bail on.

Me too. You too? But you still play guitar. You're very good. Yeah, but I never played in bands. I never had the confidence. You know what I mean? I should play with guys now.

That would be just for fun. But I never had the confidence. I think the thing with stand-up was it's a weird thing because some people are like, how do you do that? They don't understand how you do it. I don't know how not to do it after a certain point. Even at the beginning where it was like, this is going to suck. You do that first, those open mics, and it wouldn't be that great.

And then you sometimes have weeks in between them just going like, oh, my God, fuck, I got to, you know. And you kept doing it yeah because no one could tell you anything i don't know what i can't ever figure out what the hell it is why that was the thing i think because i wasn't smart enough that i actually if i got the littlest response that meant going well early on you were like that went great but they laughed a little so you you were never a sports guy you're a rock guy i was a sports guy though too i played sports but i i i quit i bailed on

that too at like ninth grade what was it baseball yeah you know what i had my first anxiety attack oh this i love the shit that's coming you're like you know you're being interviewed by someone who's a really good interview when shit just jogs. Oh, really? Is that the trick? I really think it is. Don't you love that feeling when you're like, that just opened a side of my head? Oh, yeah. That's the best.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So wait, so in ninth grade you were playing ball? I was playing ball. But did you know it was an anxiety attack? No. What happened?

playing ball and but did you know it was an anxiety attack no what happened i i uh i remember and it's in my comedy central half hour the whole long story right but it was true i bought i bought some pot off a kid at school uh i went home i smoked this whole joint i don't know what was going on in my head now even now that i think about it yeah but i and i drank really two big glasses of vodka before a game i had a game that night what the i have no idea but like hours later right the game you know yeah and uh i thought it was just like something was in the pot all of a sudden just like like this this like trippy feeling yeah through my body you know like the tingling and everything that an anxiety attack is but i didn't know because i was so young i was like what the hell i started running i went outside i just started running oh my god around my neighborhood

trying to work off this buzz of some sort made it worse got so paranoid that i told my mother that i was high yeah i said i smoked pot i i know you don't know this but i smoked pot and i can't breathe i'm like i think i'm gonna die and she my italian mom i drove me to the pediatrician i swear to god she must have been afraid if she took me to a hospital that we would get arrested. Right. She didn't know. And I had to tell the pediatrician that I smoked. This is ninth grade? Yeah.

Yeah. Ninth grade. And oh, my God. And I felt high for like a day and a half. Huh. Like, it just felt like I never went away. I didn't make the game. I never went to the game.

And to me, that represents the end of sports. I don't remember. For everybody. It was a big game for everybody. Of the day sports died in America. I remember being very good at baseball. That was really my sport. It wasn't like the jock across the board.

So maybe just, well, what did you, so you're married to a psychologist. Mm-hmm. And I imagine you see a therapist. I don't anymore. I did for seven years. This guy that everybody saw in New York City that sees only comedians.

Have you heard about him on your show? Yeah, what's his name? You've heard him on the show? I've heard about him. His name's Alan Lefkowitz. Yeah. But, so, well so what's the diagnosis there that you just had a fear of success or failure or like, because it sounds like all that stuff is, you know, you not being able to make a decision

and then sabotaging your ability to do the ball game. Like, I don't know where, I don't know exactly what that comes from. I mean, I think I've done that in my life well it's a it's i found out later in life also that my dad has this anxiety thing too oh yeah and it kind of runs in our family my brother had it my brother had you just have the one brother i have a sister and a brother yeah yeah so he had it too well he probably wouldn't appreciate me saying it on your show but uh i think he definitely struggles with anxiety and our anxiety would transp is the you're more intellectual than me transpose yeah what would you say it would uh it would surface as anger oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

because everybody that knows me from the time of stand-up that you know me from in new york and i don't know if you were ever in the room to witness it when i would lose my shit on stage yes i love that comics would love it jim florentine would egg it on i'll never florentine and you were a snapper i was a guy's gonna snap but it was like my pete dominic i don't know you know pete yeah pete called it jekylling uh-huh because i would be completely i i'm a very easygoing happy guy and then one button boom rage rage yeah i did the same thing my it's always right there but it went away with the medic i haven't had it happen in like i swear to god i'm like six years uh rage free

really yeah the medication took it away because i'm I swear to God, I'm like six years rage-free. Really? Yeah, the medication took it away. Because I'm not doing medication, and I'm doing it cognitively. How do you do that? I try and stay away from people that provoke me too much. But on stage, there's always going to be somebody that goes, you're soft. I've become very diplomatic with that. Age makes caring as much go away. I guess but i'm also i'm pretty open up there you know where like even with trolling in general like trolling is different but like on stage

like i'll engage somebody like even if they're they're not they don't know who i am i'll be like all right so look like stewart lee said a very powerful thing to me he goes like he had a realization he quit comedy this is he's a british uh comedian he's genius but he quit because you know he didn't want to deal with these idiots anymore like basically the the thing was he that when he came back the realization he had was that if somebody doesn't like you in the room uh they he he he feels bad for them now because like they didn't make the right entertainment decision they you know what i mean they you know this guy like norm mcdonald has a similar does he he says that's kind of funny you know and it doesn't work yeah they paid to see

something funny and it's not you know it's funny i was like i love that but he has a little empathy towards it that like especially if they don't know you and they're just sort of like this sucks i'm like yeah i'm not your guy yeah you know wait there's another guy after me or whatever you want to do but like how about we don't fuck up the show i mean i understand you're polite see what you're saying is me on meds what that oh yeah that's how it goes through my brain now. But it didn't then. But you never tried to work that shit out?

Oh, seven years of therapy, and it didn't fucking touch it. It would still happen. So you believe that this is just a chemical basis to this? It must be. Yeah, it doesn't happen and it would happen because your parents are nice people they're still together my dad's the same way it's the nicest guy but i can there's times growing up where he snapped and it was like whoa dad's scary now yeah and it would it would be physical at times you know my dad hates it i've said it on my podcast but

my dad fucking tackled me when i was in high school he got that broke my leg he broke your leg he broke my leg and didn't apologize wow and it went like 30 years of me going i used to broke it in violence or by accident well the in the violent act of you know me cursing my mom out at the dinner table. Provoked him. Yeah. Him saying, you're grounded, and me saying, not only do I not care that I just cursed at mom, I'm going right out the front door.

I'm not grounded. And then my dad's 6'3". He's a big guy. He jumped on top of me, and leg just gave out out on the front steps and broken leg and he's like it ain't broke you know never apologize and he apologized yet he apologized through alan lefkowitz saying does that bother you that he never apologized and i said yeah it kind of does i just realized yeah here that it does and he goes what else bothers you i go my dad never said he loved me ever he's like does it would you like him to i'm like yeah i think that

would be kind of nice he goes tell him it hurts you don't tell him you're mad tell him it upsets you he goes no one can get mad at you saying hey man that hurts yeah which became like a great thing in life just to be able to when people yeah i can do shitty shit just go hey man you so did you do it to your dad i called him on the phone like after right after right after i'm parked in front of the therapist and my dad's like i never apologized for that i'm like no he goes oh i'm sorry man i'm sorry and i go you also never said that you loved me and you know i think it kind of could be a reason why i lose my shit on stage which i thought but i don't think that really was and he's like you need to hear that i go dad i do stand-up comedy yes the damage is already done no

but meaning that's why i do it because there's these fucked up things right that are on that's why i think sometimes guys go into comedy it's really sometimes it's there's they looking for that love love yeah maybe no i mean i've heard that i believe that's true because like i the i always fought it though because i did i seem to do what you did like but not so much you were always pretty pleasant up there when you were doing your act. Right. Yeah. Pleasant. And then,

yeah. And then you'd snap. But like, I really think I went up there to challenge an audience, like from right out of the gate. Like, you know, I was going to challenge them to love me and then be like,

yeah, see not lovable. Right. Like, you know, so you make it funny. It's funny. It wasn't funny for years.

That's funny to me. It would go over as not funny. I don't know. You remember seeing me back there? Yeah, I always thought it was funny. But yes, sometimes the audience, they just don't get it. Well, I'm not sure there was something to get. They were like, this guy's got problems.

He seems like he's mad about something. Tell me if I'm wrong on this, because I went to the comedy store last night. I didn't perform. I just kind of watched a friend of mine go on. And I had lived in LA for a short time. And I always feel that the difference between stand-up out here versus New York and why I kind of like West Coast comedy more, whereas New Yorkers usually come to the West Coast and they're like,

fuck these comics. Yeah. They need it. They need it. It's easier here or whatever. Comedy store's not easy. No. I find that the audience, or maybe it's, or if it's just the comedians, I feel that they

do weirder stuff. Like, they go another route. It's more traditional in New York. Sure. It's kind of boring like i like that in the clubs yeah yeah especially new york and why is it is it because of the comedians or is it because the audience in new york is more like you know now like if we're just talking specifically about clubs like the cellar the stand gotham you know the club scene

because there's an alt scene that's its own thing there as there is here but like when you're dealing with like the store were you in the little room where do you perform i don't i when i when i lived in l.a no when you were there last night oh he performed in the i guess that's the original right the original yeah i watched bobby lee went on oh yeah well that's a hard that room's like the cellar but it seemed great yeah no you gotta show up for work yeah pack though yeah yeah it's popular again that place just you you know when you were at that level of comedy you can walk in yeah five seconds you go oh that's good good crowd yeah yeah well that like those guys are all they're all shooting on they're firing on all cylinders right you know but there is i think there is a little different context there is a

different uh there are some guys you'll see that start new york and they go with the new york style but you know a guy like bobby lee he's a big you know he does a big physical act right i mean part of the reason is is that you don't have that much room on the stages in new york you're not true you know what i mean like the stand is what is it like this like this like i mean i've only been there once this tiny stage and the cellar is very restrictive you just have that little area and there's a fucking piano there and you got about like what six feet and about three four feet in between you and the crowd right not but i mean that's obviously not the only reason but for someone like bobby he's got need some room right. But you doing that conversational style and saying what you just said,

where you said, I tested you. What was the line? I pushed you. I just challenged you. Yeah. Challenged you to love me. Yeah, that feels like it would work here better than it would in like a- Well, I think that's true.

I think that New York, my thoughts about it was always, you got to be really punchline efficient efficient and you got to keep it coming. They don't indulge much, you know, dicking around. You know, you can't, like here, once you find a freedom to it, like a room that you're comfortable in, you can try things. Like I don't, the comedy store is like, I'm very comfortable there. So, you know, I don't mind bombing a bit. But it also seems like.

But also you had Esty standing there going, oh,'t funny you know like you know like you're always being tested i think because maybe because because here you're in the heart of show business i mean there's posters everywhere you look there's another comedian on a billboard it's part of the city well yeah and i feel that if you're- That might be true. And when you're being yourself on stage, like you're saying, that's so Marc Maron, you're saying what you just said,

that here they- Give you the benefit of the doubt. Not only do they give you the benefit of the doubt, I think it resonates as they can imagine that like on a television show. I think that's true. I think that there might be a more, like everybody likes seeing stars show up. Right.. I think that's true. I think that there might be a more, like everybody likes seeing stars, you know, show up.

Right. And I think that a lot of times, like the comedy story, most of the people up there, they've seen somewhere a lot of times. Right. Where in New York, you still got a lot of guys who are just doing the job. It's the job there. Yeah. Here it's like, how do I get this to not be my job?

Yeah. Or get more. Yeah, get more. Where it's like, okay. They're a little more excited here, too, in a way. You know what I mean? It's not just, here, you drive in a place, you're going to go out. Like, sometimes in New York, you feel like people are just sort of like,

oh, let's go in here, it's here. They walk over. You know what I mean? Like, I think it's a bigger, sometimes it's a little bigger deal to go out here. Yeah. You know what i mean and i i'm noticing that uh at this time around and what i what i have going on this week what are you doing i have all these pitch meetings set up that my manager uh put a sizzle reel together of my

last one hour special yeah and he connected it with this web series that we shot yeah it showed a lot of my neuroses. I did a web series called Fixing Joe. Yeah. That had all actors playing all the other parts. Right. And like, it's probably the best thing I've ever done where I was like, this, I'm like, I almost want to just go into the meetings and be like, here.

It's all here. What do you want from me? What the fuck? It's done. Like, but I really don't want to play a comedian on the show like i want to challenge myself a little bit and say you know here's this is the show but i'm not a comedian i'm just joe who's a guy who has this job construction guy well yeah you know whatever but no no i think that's interesting because you'd be like uh it's sort of against type to have a a dude that looks like a dude dude you know with with real kind of anxiety and

problems neurotic problems and i think you're neurotic in a different way than i am probably am and i think one thing that i was amazed at my manager which made me think wow he's on board i didn't think he would be like we had a meeting last week we went to your manager rick dorfman who everybody knows for a hundred years yeah i had an awkward meeting with rick dorfman once yeah i've had a hundred awkward conversations with rick dorfman he'll tell you we fight all the time but like there was a moment in the meeting where i was like i don't even care that i fight like he gets me and he doesn't want me to be another guy he's like dude like i told him the story of want my dad to say he loves me and all that stuff. And he's like, dude, you got to use these in the meeting.

He's like, you're a good guy. Yeah. He's like, you're not like a fucking lunatic. Like you want to, you want to, I'm been married for over 10 years.

And like, I want to be, my parents have been married for 50 years. Like I'm this like sensitive person underneath it all. Like I told you like that tough guy that I was in Jersey and all that, Like, I'm this, like, sensitive person underneath it all. Like, I told you, like, that tough guy that I was in Jersey and all that, it just went away. Yeah, but it didn't, the struggle continues, right? So, like, the idea of a character like you, who's a good guy, but kind of an alpha dude, the alpha neurotic guy, is not something I've seen a lot.

Do you know what I mean? Right. The alpha neurotic guy. It's not something I've seen a lot. Do you know what I mean? Right. It is sort of interesting that like how you would play it where, you know, you don't understand why you have these problems. But some of them are like kind of crazy.

You know, like not being able to make a decision and just playing that against your wife or whatever. Like, you know, realizing that the rage is. That's interesting. That should be. You should be able to sell that show. We hope, but I mean... And I had to write a log line, which I've never done in my life. Did you ever try to write

a log line for your show? Like, Joe is a... Yeah, like what the sitcom is in two sentences. Yeah. No, I don't know if I ever did that. I always let the...

I just go in there and blather and get some laughs and have them put it together. That's fine. But for years, though, it's not a good... It's better to have a log line because for years they they think they know you they don't know you you gotta tell them what you are you're also just be like oh you're that guy i'm like really i didn't think i was that guy like yeah that's what you are and i'm like no i don't think so but you're i feel like you're probably similar to me when you go into these

meetings yeah if it doesn't feel genuine and there's not a real connection, it feels like there's no way we're going to sell right now. I don't know. I've gone to a lot of those meetings. And you're usually going for laughs. And you listen to them. You want to listen a little bit and let them chime in and work off what they're saying a little bit. But they rarely go. So, I mean, the odds are against you even if you feel good in the room.

Well, I think like Craig. Is that not helpful? I had Craig Ferguson on my podcast. I've had him on. He's a great guy. Yeah. And he said something. I bring it up all the time.

And it's simple, but it really makes sense. He defined show business. He compared it to the movie Shawshank Redemption. Uh-huh. really makes sense he defined show business he compared it to the movie shawshank redemption he said in that movie morgan friedman for the whole movie's trying to get paroled and he's trying fucking so hard and then at the end of the movie he's like basically like fuck you you're not gonna parole me you know he's just basically like who gives a shit and boom they stamp it paroled he goes goes, that's show business.

Yeah, that's true. And I said to you walking in your house, you said, how you like L.A.? And I said, and I think I just defined it talking to one of my friends before I came here. And I said, what is it about L.A.? It feels harder to be your genuine self. And I hate that because it's like you start going oh show business is so here do you thank your friends all the time for putting up with i should i should do you tell your friend he appreciated it because he felt the same way he was like dude because he

used to be in a couple of different bands and had big almost shots and And he said, I feel so insecure when I'm in LA. And I said, yeah, it feels harder to be your genuine self. If you know what that is, you know. Yeah. Yeah, well, I think we just define what I am. Took a long time to get there. Yeah, if I can just be that and not try to be it. It's like when I watched at the comedy store last night,

you can tell the comedians that aren't trying to be something. Right. And they're nailing it but yeah but they're there you know it takes a long time most of those guys have been around a while yeah they're making it look easy they're making it like they just like Ali Wong went up she's the best she was cracking me the fuck up oh that's great you watch your special I saw like a hair of it oh you guys i'm pregnant it's great uh i gotta check it out because she had me dying well she's like gotta like she did she's gonna do it her way that's what i mean because i you know i'm a guy that has two little kids and i'm like if my wife was here she'd be fucking dying yeah she said some joke about why are you out like you didn't you just have a baby why are you out yeah yeah she just pauses and it's so honest i love that she goes i'm this close to throwing my throwing my baby in the garbage i was like that's yes yeah

and if you if you're 22 like i said earlier you're like that's the meanest joke oh why are you saying that like you you have to have lived life to realize why that's funny i think there's a lot of people coming to the clubs now that are a little more older and a little more yeah like i don't know what it is but like i've been fortunate to sort of cultivate an audience that gets me and whatever the fuck it is i do but i think you're right i think the point that ferguson is making is getting to the point where somehow or another you don't give a fuck yeah like. Like it's hard, but like when I started the podcast, I I'd let it go. I'm not going to have a TV show.

I'm not going to be that big a comic. I don't know what this is going to do, but I got to do something before I, I have to figure out another job. Right. You know what I mean? Right. But like,

I felt it in my heart and I've talked about this before that I let it go. Like, you know, how, how long do you hold on? How long do you remain delusional to, you know how how long do you hold on how long do you remain delusional to you know to where it becomes a liability where people are like no he doesn't know it's over you know what i mean you don't want to be that guy you know i hope i'm not

that you're not that guy because you have self-awareness but but the freedom of not giving a fuck you know and then having this thing work out on my own terms and like whatever was great, you know, because like now everything's sort of like, yeah, I'd like to do that. And I'm ready to do that. That's the other thing you got to realize is that you're ready to do it. And that's a funny thing that we put these people in power, these these fucking executives that come and go like in my name, like they they're always moving to other jobs. And we're like hanging on. You know, they're always moving to other jobs and we're like hanging on you know they're like the judge and the jury of this thing that's like they don't what do they know right it's a fucking crapshoot for them too they're like i don't know should we

do it it looks a little risky like i don't want to take the hit all right well fuck it let's not do it again it's like that's that's the decision right yeah i'm not gonna hang my career on this and i i love that show business is at that level now where it's like, I'm going to go all the way around you guys. I just went around you. I don't know if you noticed, but I'm around you now. You know, you ultimately want to work with people, and if they're going to support what you do, you want to.

It's all collaborative. You know, on that level, if you want to be in the box, you know, and have the money that someone's going to give you, you know, the other thing is this weird kind of like parental relationship it's like i'm ready i'm ready mom dad i'm ready to work can i have the money now you know like right you got to get past that emotional shit but i the other thing is it's like what like where is it really now like there's so many fucking channels and stuff you know you just all we want to do is earn an honest living.

Well, I think that's what helped me be at this place where you don't care as much is that you can go around. Yeah. I just did a special where I had two investors give me the money and we made it. And, like, I started this tour. I just said, fuck it. I'm going to try. I just start trying things because there's ways with the podcast and social media to get things out. I had people going because I started this tour called Outside the Box where fans, and I'm not the first guy to ever think of doing this, but I just kind of gave it a name and said, I want to see if you fans can bring me to your city some way.

I go, here, I put the tour name on my website. Here's how to do it. So, you know, there's just so many ways now. And, like, when the fans heard me on different radio stations talking about how they can bring me to their city to do some sort of charity, or, you know, it's not charity. It's like a fundraiser, whatever you want to raise money for. And I even got a sponsor.

Did it work? Yeah. it's like it just started i've had like two of them how are the shows they're awesome because it's like it's your fans and then they bring other people that they think would like you it's great usually people with kids and stuff like that yeah and uh this yards brewing company started uh supporting it you know at least in this where they sell their beer right which is like philly and south jersey and they're trying to yeah yeah slightly broaden but they're like a real niche market and i was like i said to the guy on the phone like i'm literally like i'm my own salesman now i'm on the phone with the head guy of the beer company. Yeah.

And I'm like, dude, I go, I don't know if this is going to sound insecure or negative. I go, but I don't know a comedian that wouldn't love every gig being two hours from his house. Yeah. I'll do these every week. Right. He goes, you know, we can do shows in the brewing company. We have this whole tasting room that we can like put a stage and we can, because these guys are huge comedy fans.

That's how it happened. Right. The Arts Brewing Company? Yeah, open for Bill Burr. I literally, it's like I use that as a selling tool. I contacted Bill. I go, dude, you're doing the Wells Fargo Center. That's 16,000 people in Philadelphia where where i'm from can i open for you because i think

i could like that could help strengthening my uh my thing there yeah and he's like sure so it was fucking awesome i put all my jokes together that were like perfect for a bill burr audience yeah i mean and killing in front of 16000 people in your home city was just like the greatest buzz. And Bill backstage is going, I don't know if I love these big shows. I like the 3,000. And I was like, I came off stage. I go, Bill, I could do this every night. You're crazy.

This is incredible. When was that? That was like six months ago. Yeah. And these people from Yards were in the audience. They hired me to do some corporate event. This was classic. I put like dress pants and a dress shirt because I think it's a corporate event.

Right. It's a brewing company. I get there. It's all dudes with tattoos and beards. Yeah. All like hipsters. Yeah. And like you couldn't say a joke that was too off color for right like they

just loved everything and i was like dude we gotta we gotta do something together here let's do some sort of you guys should sponsor my tour and then like like i said i'm in in pennsylvania in pennsylvania jersey this is fucking perfect and like i'm on the phone with fans and they're like you use social media for like kind of what it's for that's kind of a great idea i'm on the phone with fans and they're like you use social media for like kind of what it's for that's kind of a great idea i'm like am i the only guy and then i i told it on the paulo's podcast and then he starts trying to do the same thing yeah how's it going for him i don't know because i know he's trying to do it on this massive level like give me fourteen thousand dollars for one show in your backyard right i think. Yeah. And I'm like telling the fans, I'm like, no, I'm trying to make it affordable.

I want you to make money. You're the producer. You make money. I make money. I think that's an interesting thing about a lot of us now is that, you know, in the way that show business has changed, I feel like I actually feel like I'm making an honest living. Like, you know, that I'm working hard and i'm doing it on

my own and i'm getting paid for it even with the tv show because until you get at that because there was years where they i don't know if you ever got one of those development deals where they did yeah but then you're like oh well what does this money mean what means that if you don't deliver someone's going to make note of that i have this weird principle with that shit i like doing my own shit like Like even the TV show, IFC doesn't pay like FX or like, or in my, my fame is not like Louise or anyone or bills,

but like, it's where I can handle it. And, and I, and I'm making a living and I'm saving a little money. And that's all you really want. Really? Like,

I don't understand why guys like some guys who are billionaires, why are they working? Why are you working? Isn't the idea to stop exactly yeah well like i even feel that with this week and pitching the shows that i'm like i don't really i'm thinking so much smaller than i used to think it's like i used to be like i want to get my own show and i want oh my god i could get like i could get like crazy famous yeah now i'm like i just want to get a little deal so i can buy um i want to buy a a rental property like a small one in a resort area what made you um hit the wall because like it seems like from when i first met you from bro

guy to rage guy that there must have been some like cathartic moment where you're like i gotta fucking change was it meeting your wife was yes it was 100 she loved you and she was like what are you doing there was moments where well first when we were before we were even married there was you might need to go see somebody you need therapy she. And she was already, was she in school? Was she a therapist? She, when we first started dating, she was finishing up, finishing up her master's at Drexel.

And then seven months into our relationship, she wanted to take, they have to do a one year internship to get the PhD. And I still kick myself because I think

we picked the wrong place. But she had it narrowed down to UCSD in San Diego and in San Francisco. Those were her two places. To do the internship. The internship. But I remember thinking, because it was a two-year internship in San Francisco. Right.

And I remember thinking, two years? That's just so long. Which isn't. But now, as an older guy, when you were that age, you're like, I can't live in Sanford. I don't want to be away from Philly and New York for two years. You're like an idiot now. This is what was weird, is I lived in LA for a year and a half. And I was that guy that was like, show businesses and everything.

I want a wife and kids. I remember thinking that. You knew that then? Yeah. My friends were like, what are you fucking crazy i had the development deal i was blowing through all the money living here and i lived in burbank i was like just buying stupid shit because i wasn't working i'm living in la i'm just spending the development in burbank yeah spending your 200 grand yeah just spending yeah buying couches and buying people dinners everywhere we go and

then i had a little bit of money left i moved back and my my brother the real estate uh contract contractor guy goes dude you should buy a place in hoboken i go i never even heard of hoboken he's like hoboken it's right outside of new york city it's a good spot you should buy a place there so i look i find an apartment i buy it fix it up a little yeah thank god that i bought that place because i think that was just enough to make my phd wife because i just i met her i met her like three months after coming back yeah and she was at drexel so that'silly. Yeah. I start doing gigs down there. And me owning this place, like I said. Was it a two bedroom?

It was a two bedroom. Thought I was going to rent it out. I had like a couple of comics stay there. I was like, I can't. I can't do this. No way. Don't make it garbage. You've got a shot at making a nice thing here.

Just give it to a comic for a month. It's like, what happened? And it was across the street from Artie Lang, which I't know at the time so he could use it as a as a crack house or the equivalent so arty and i started to become friends i started working with him a lot on the road and uh and then i meet my wife i started dating her she's like wow you're fixing fixing up the place she she thought i wasn't even like heterosexual when she first met me like that's how into making the place nice i was oh yeah yeah like i had it like pimped out when she came over the first time she's like you sure you like women i'm like yeah i swear i do i do i just like i like candles i want things to be nice like it nice

could you not touch that please yeah and then I ended up selling it and making some money so my brother was right and that ended up getting us our first house so you went and put it right into a house that was smart

yeah but then I lost it all on that first house because it was the bubble the bubble yeah the bubble and it was in a shitty school district

I didn't have kids yet, and I didn't realize that that was important. So you took the hit because you paid too much for the house. You sold it at a loss? Yeah. My mother-in-law, never forget her, classic. She comes with us to look at the house. She goes right up to the owner.

We'll take it. We love it. Doesn't even consult me, so I have to pay asking price for the house, which I would have bid it down, you know, or try to do something. But there was no way for you to go like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's my mother-in-law.

This is me. I probably should have done that. But this is before I heard the Al Lubell episode. There was no confidence in anything. So, yeah, I mean uh there were moments where i can remember vividly my wife saying i'm not saying i'm gonna divorce you but if you don't get on meds like there's a chance that this isn't gonna work out why are we yelling at her i wouldn't yell at her but i would you do yell around her yeah yeah i remember a vivid moment trying to

pour gas that i my car ran out of gas in her mom's driveway and i went to like a target and bought a gas can and i must have bought the wrong nozzle and i couldn't get it in the gas hole right so gas was just running down the side yeah and i was just going motherfucker yeah loud and my wife comes over she's like i grew up on the street um everybody's outside my mom's and what are you doing you're embarrassing me there's a lot of moments of embarrassment like i used to oh it's so sad i used to do that where you'd yell like on the street like in conversation like even if you're not yelling at them it's like your pitch is like and you don't even know it because you're just an angry guy yeah and they're like why is this happening we're all mine at the movies just the embarrassment of the woman with the rage guy yeah i was that guy. And then when it hit ground zero is when I got fired from a comedy club.

This is what made Fixing Joe start as the podcast. I got fired at a club in Hartford, Connecticut, two nights in a row, lost it at different hecklers. What was that called? The Frog? What was that Hartford club? This one was called City Steam. Oh.

It was there for 100 hundred years it's still there it's like a weekend room uh the first night it was a bachelorette party with like 40 people in the audience and i was like i was aware enough to know that i'm gonna lose it because they were fucking yelling at you opened it you opened with losing it well they were featured there when whenever the guy before me is getting shit on yeah that's when i like take it like i'm the i'm the big brother now yeah and i will go on stage and i would just yeah i lost it i i made them cry like i think a girl cried and left you and nick depaulo i nick depauloed it yeah yeah they left they left during the show oh yeah and then the

show was great you know once you get out of that get them all out of shame them out yeah and the rest of the crowd was like yeah yeah fist pumping me on the way that was great that was great yeah i'm like well the manager's really mad and then the next night some loud italian guy and i held it in for the whole set and then the set was done i see that i got the light i'm at 45 minutes yeah and then i just said you know I see that I got the light. I'm at 45 minutes. Yeah. And then I just said, you know what? I did all my material. I ignored you for 45 minutes, but I'm basically done.

Now I'm going to tell you how I really feel about you. And I just went off on this guy for so long that they shut the mic off. While you were on stage? Just no mic now. Was people there?

Oh, yeah. The full audience. Were you doing well? I did great Was people there? Oh, yeah, the full audience. Were you doing well? I did great up until then. Oh, then it got bad? Well, once again, the crowd would like, like you said, how you love it. A lot of people loved it.

That's where I would get in a problem. But do you know that moment where you're like, the crowd's sort of like, nah, it's a little too far. I don't think I could. Not afterwards, yeah. I was that guy that went. Oh, no, I knew like when you're in it with somebody and you're like you're really feeding the anger and then you feel the crowds with you and then there's one beat where they're like no no no yeah

yeah when you say something really harsh right yeah no usually like saying i want you to die yeah something that was a joke connected to them dying the word we'll do that cunt can do it yeah definitely so uh the manager called me the next morning in the hotel and he's like hey man you know i'm a big fan but uh i can't have you do another show here yeah it's just you know you were booked for another one there's a whole another night was that the friday i'm trying you know what it was i think the thursday was the first one they let you do friday and saturday friday saturday you're gone yeah the middle moved up no you went to protect he got his big shot yes hey joe thanks for looking out for me i'm doing your dates so stupid me thought in my head

this could be my hook because i used to like to try to find ways. The rage hook? The snap guy? Yeah. Yeah. Because I had a moment. And also, I have an album that I sell that is all snaps. Oh, you recorded it all?

I recorded 11 different. I went back when I started thinking, oh, this is a hook. And I realized I had a lot of recordings of losing it. Yeah. went i was like let me find the best ones and you know when when there's a comic you really like look up to there's like certain comics when they come up to you and tell you they like a bit yeah it makes you go oh yeah like it makes that you're like oh yeah a tell was one if a tell goes that bit i like that yeah or you like when you said even though i still think that it's not funny it's just the beat the beat i don't know because i remember it maybe not everyone remembers it maybe it's honest i don't know no it's the

futility of it what was it was the atari game was when you just had pong right we had pong yeah and then there was that one level where it was just you and the wall. And the wall. There's no winning. That's what was funny to me. There's no point to it. Oh, see? You intellectualized it. Yeah, I did. I don't think the crowd ever did. Alright. Thank you.

I need a room of Mark Maron's. You don't have to do that joke anymore. So where was I at the story? Oh, no, your hook, your new hook. Oh, so I think, so I start piecing together a comedy album, and I can remember sitting at the cellar, and I say, Bill Burr's there, and I go, dude, I'm thinking of making an album that's just all my worst moments.

Yeah. Like, all losing it, heckling beats. And he goes, dude, I'd buy that yeah and i was like oh i'm making it then i got it and i narrated them at the beginning and still to this day like if i pitch that on stage they don't want my fucking albums where it went well they're like whoa whoa forget those where's the one where you lose it i'm like it's this one it's called when a comedian's attack they're like're like, give me that. Give me that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sign that. Yeah, that's the one they want. They love it. And do they still? Yeah, still to this day. I'm like, I'm out of them. They're like, oh, that's what we want those.

You got more. I'm like, you can buy it on iTunes. It's there. It's there. When Comedians Attack. Yeah, you know what sucks, though, is those things go in loops on Spotify and Pandora. And I'm like someone could be listening to a stand-up loop of like louis yeah and then all of a sudden you hear me

going fuck yeah like they don't even know where did this come from well you make a couple bucks what are you still coming yeah so i thought i had this hook of the snap yeah because i had one of them on stage where the crowd was shitting on me then i was shitting on them then they would shit on me and i made it a little like ad lib in the moment bit about it where we were keeping track yeah who got what you i'm giving them points yeah we were just shitting on each other and it was like really working i was like that's gonna be this is what it's gonna be and i uh i did the first fixinging Joe episode after I got fired. Bill Burr, I figured, perfect guest because he has that famous outrage in Philly.

And he's like, dude, that's a terrible idea. You don't ever want to be arguing as your career. You can't fake lose it. He said he wanted the, oh, fake lose it. Right. Well, he was like, you can't, how are you going to get, and he goes, it's like the album is real losing it. Yes, it's real.

But I found the funniest ones. Right. There is one track on that album where I give myself a loss. Oh, really? I don't, I think the heckler won. Oh, really? Yeah. I hate when that happens.

She was fucking brutal. This girl just was, oh, she was tearing me up. Good for her. Yeah. This girl just was tearing me up. Good for her. Yeah. But Burr was like, that's like being on a sitcom,

playing some over-exaggerated character, and now it lasts 12 years. You can't make it on purpose, yeah. Yeah, he goes, you wouldn't be happy. You wouldn't be creatively happy. Right. So I kept doing the podcast. But yeah, the psychologist wife. Having kids makes you fix yourself, too. How old are your kids now? Eight and four. Yeah. Well, yeah, you got to show up, and that's makes you fix yourself too. How old are your kids now?

Eight and four. Yeah. Well, yeah, you got to show up and that's something you wanted to do. That's not something you fell into. Like you left here thinking you wanted to have a family and live that life. You left LA that first time. Like I want to have a wife and kids and be a person. It was very important to me.

Right. So because of that, you shaped up. Yeah. Right, so because of that, you shaped up. Yeah, well, yeah, I can remember moments where I would just, where I thought I was going to get divorced, and I could like, this is when I just had a son. I remember my wife and I having a fight, seeing his bedroom from our bedroom right after the fight, and just like bawling, being like,

I don't want to not be here sleeping in this house with my family. Like this, oh, like a divorce is easier when you don't have kids. But if you have kids and you're like, you're not here anymore. It's always awful. What I say on stage is it'd be hard to witness the guy who's the improved version of you.

Yeah, right, right, right. You're doing a better job. Yeah, he, you know, cause I'm ADD, you know, bad. And this guy's all focused. I go, he wouldn't, I know it wouldn't be another comedian. She's not going down that road again. Who would? Yeah, you see everything that you—

Did that happen with you in your divorces, where the next guy was a total opposite of you? No, I don't know. I don't know. I don't have to deal with them. Yeah, you don't have to. I know the first wife's dude. He's a dude he's a teacher and she's a psycho she's a psychologist right so they worked out like and i'm happy about that because there was no way

like i'm not even sure i'm the greatest emotional investment now you know like the second wife i know why she left you know and i know what you know i know what i did and she ended up marrying a dude got some bread and he's a writer and she you know he's in show business stuff I think they're okay but like they both did the right thing but it doesn't make me feel any better right so wait so now your wife though does she have a private practice no see I let the audience think that my wife is a therapist my wife actually is a neuropsychologist with a PhD and studies Alzheimer's disease. She does 100% research. She's like a scientist. Okay.

She never wanted to do the therapy? No, she wasn't interested. I mean, she has to- She's a researcher. Researcher, but you have to learn everything. Yeah. There were times where she had to do therapy. I can remember when we were dating, she had a couple of patients.

They make you learn everything, but no. She has a lot of friends and psychiatrists that she can like tap into like yeah when when i knew what medication like i want to take you to level off on that shit how much has it changed like i never really embarked on the medication i i'm here and there but not much but you sound like you're you're all for it 100 for it my uh the web series kind of starts from the beginning of me starting the meds. It takes you through it. Yeah.

It takes about two months before they really even are doing anything. Yeah. So it's this slow progression. Yeah. Then all of a sudden you're like, oh, that thing that I, I think I even tried to write something about that,

about it being like a, yeah, like a phantom type feeling. But yeah, it's it's weird it's like it's in a headlock i think i've heard you describe right medication yeah i remember the one it does give it gives you new personality but it doesn't get rid of the old one yeah the old one's inside going what are we doing yes right and the new one's like, take it easy. We're okay. It's like it's in a headlock.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wants to fight, but it can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But your kids are all right? That's a good one to ask. I think my son has some of the stuff. How old is he? That's another joke I do.

You notice your negative traits way quicker than your positive traits in your own children. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, he has some of the- Rage? Maybe. And then he has psychologist mom who's like, tell us your mood. Yeah.

I wrote him all these- She wrote, like, faces on a piece of paper, like like from a smiley face to a little smiley to a nothing to a sad. Yeah. And you're trying to like map out his moods. I'm like, oh no. Oh no. Psychologist kid.

Yeah. He's eight. The daughter's four? Yeah. So he's in third grade. And yeah, she's too young to decide. But they're having a good time? It's awesome.

Good. I feel like you're working towards the ending i feel this now this is what i was gonna say this when you listen to somebody's show a lot and you listen to it a lot you're like you're waiting for wrapping up are you are you good you're waiting for it i'm like fuck here comes the are you good a day and a half of what's mark gonna ask me is this gonna go well is he gonna hate me am i gonna be able to tell he wants me to go he wants it to fucking end he wants to get out like that shit but then when you go do it well i didn't i didn't think any of those things i know like i was like i don't even need to research this one yeah it's an easy one just fucking put a fucking shirt on and go do it yeah because you talk to joe they're not gonna freak out yeah you don't write shit down someone tells you to go see a movie i write it down i gotta it's got

to go in the iphone no i kind of remember that stuff but if i if i have an impulsive thought that i think i need to share i better make sure it's not like a bomb of some kind do you know what i mean like if i have feelings like i going to fucking email that guy back. And I'm like, well, maybe take a second. You know what I mean? But now I've gotten so detached from it. I forget to text people back. I forget emails. Like, I just, like, I don't know where the fuck my brain's at.

I don't know what's happening. But I just space it. And then I'll be going through my texts. I'm like, holy shit, I did not answer that guy at all. And that was three weeks ago. And then I'll just answer like he just texted it. Oh, no, I'll be going through my texts. I'm like, holy shit, I did not answer that guy at all. And that was three weeks ago. And then I'll just answer like he just texted it. Oh no, I can't do it. Sorry.

Have you ever tried Adderall? No. Never? No. Yeah. Well, you couldn't now, but I have friends that are addicts that can take it if you take the time released version, because you can't, you can't overtake time-released adderall i don't know that i have add though no i don't think you do either i can usually tell i have anxiety uh

issues and i also um i don't know what the other issue is i you know i do like like i seem to operate at my own pace but like when i have to do jobs, I do them. You know what I mean? If left to my own devices, I do a lot of things at once. And I usually get everything done. But there would probably be a more efficient way to do things that I don't always do. Right. Do you know?

I guess. But yeah, with me, it's attention deficit. You just space it out. Well, I forget a lot, and you really notice it when you are an Adderall user, and then you decide to try not taking Adderall one day. You're like, this is how I was? This is horrendous. I'm bumping my head constantly.

It's just like, bang, bang. I get injuries because I'm just like i'm not in sync really i'm really yeah forgetting things it was always like that drive very well really yeah i can't read i can't how old are you i'm 48 so maybe what you don't think maybe it's just getting older no no and not being able to read a book without having to keep rereading the paragraph over and over again because there's a fucking life i mean it's got to be interesting maybe you're not reading the right book but it even how about if you can tell it's interesting but there's a little like radio playing and it's hard for you to focus that's what i noticed it in my son when he's

playing baseball yeah if there's a something else going on the on the next field yeah and he's just looking over there i'm like dude dude, the guy just pitched it. You can't look to the right. You're going to get hit in the face. And he'll be like, I don't need to wear my cup today. I'm like, I think you do. I think you might want to wear it today. He goes, I don't need it.

You might see a dog across the street distracted from fielding a grounder and protecting your balls. It's hilarious. He's actually said to me, I don't need the cup because I'm playing in my YBNR league is his lower level league, and then his travel league is the other one. I'm like, what is the difference? People hit a ball at your balls. You need the cup.

I'm an idiot. So that's what we've learned today is that no matter where you are, if there are balls being hit, you should wear your cup. Wear the cup. That's a metaphor, too, for life. Yeah. Always wear your cup. That's the title of the pitch this week.

Is it? Episode one, wear your cup. Is it? No. It should be. It should be. All right, good talking to you. You too, man.

Okay, watch Joe's special on CISO this Thursday. Go to WTFpod.com for all your WTF needs. Check the tour schedule. A lot of dates coming up, going to be adding dates. I'll keep you in the loop on that. Be nice to people. There's no social mandate for being a douchebag in public. Let's try to be people. Can we? How about I play some distorted guitar for a minute for all those that hang in for this.ああああああああああああ

ああああああ ああああああ ああああああ ああああああ ああああああああああああ Boomer lives! Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. It's a night for the whole family. Be a part of Kids Night when the Toronto Rock take on the Colorado Mammoth

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