WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 848 - George Schlatter
Episode Date: September 20, 2017Television comedy impresario George Schlatter createdΒ Laugh In at the peak of cultural upheaval in 20th Century America. He tells MarcΒ why he linked the rebellious youth movement of the '60s to a bu...ttoned-up style firmly rooted in the history of show business, which he learned all about as manager of theΒ legendary Sunset Strip nightclub Ciro's. George talks about getting his education from luminaries likeΒ Groucho Marx, Red Skelton, Danny Thomas, and Milton Berle, and sparking the careers of bright talents like Richard Pryor andΒ Lorne Michaels. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Lock the gates! all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fucking
ears what the fuck nicks what's happening i'm mark maron this is my podcast wtf i feel a little
better than i did the last time i talked to you, but jeez, man.
I'm okay.
All right?
I'm not complaining.
I don't like to be misunderstood as complaining.
Today on the show, George Schlatter is here.
George Schlatter has been, he's almost like a Zelig-like character, but he maintains the
same form and disposition throughout all the years. He doesn't character, but he maintains the same form and disposition throughout all
the years.
He doesn't change, but he's always there somewhere in the background, lurking in the background
of comedy, of television comedy.
Schwatter is always there.
Schwatter has always been there.
Schwatter will probably always be there.
But he did create Laugh-In, uh it's celebrating its 50th anniversary and time
life has released the complete series on dvd and that's got him out got him out in the world to
talk to me and i believe i believe that uh you're actually when i talk to george schlatter you're hearing what it sounds like to be pitched on something to be hustled
to be cajoled with a true show business charm and wit into doing something i believe i'm i
i believe i might have agreed to making a show with him but i'm not sure you'll have to i i
you'll have to parse it because I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I don't know if we're in business together or not,
but it felt like a good part of the interview had something to do with that.
Oh, my God.
I don't feel like I'm talking correctly.
So I go back to the doc today, and I'm happy I have insurance and a doctor.
Everybody should, and it should be affordable and reasonable.
That's why you must push back. Push back on the repeal and replacers yeah you you shouldn't be afraid that you're going to die of something in
your mouth because you can't get it looked at other than going to an emergency room anyway i went back to dr gooey dr gooey in uh pasadena so they took all this stuff out and
they sent it out to be biopsied so in the back of my mind i'm like that's just hanging there
it was right around where i used to do the lozenges right around where i used to do the
occasional dip a doodle every once in a while to get the real jet you know really get my brain jacked up and get the real hum of the nicotine buzz on i'd occasionally dip so says right there on the label causes mouth
cancer causes teeth loss causes dumb gum disease causes dumb disease yeah you're dumb if you do it
ah but it's you know you just ride a line with these dumb addictions but so i took all this
shit out of my mouth and i sent it out to be biopsied today i went back for the follow-up
apparently everything's healing well and they had not got the biopsy back a week later and that's
driving me fucking nuts and then the doc looks at me and he's like i don't know how your face
would look after i stitched it up and i'm like he, he goes, it looks fine. It's like, well, thanks for gambling.
Thanks for rolling the dice.
Thanks for not doing, whatever.
My lip's still numb and I can't talk right
and it's hard to hold liquid in my mouth.
But if that's the way it's going to be
for the rest of my life,
that's the way it's going to be.
As you get older, things get cut off.
Things get taken away.
Things get moved.
Things, you know, you're just like a pirate you might
lose an eye or a leg but you got a patch and you got a thing a peg so you know everybody's a pirate
eventually just uh chipping away life just chips away until you're just you're just a pirate so
they called the uh the biopsy place and and they were like do you want to wait and they're
going to fax it over i'm like i don't know how long is it yeah i i don't want to be panicky guy
in the lobby so i drove away and dr gooey called me said it's exactly what we thought it was it's
a clogged salivary gland it was just big and and everything's uh okay and thank god but that terror
that existed before hearing that news
of that's the way I'm going to go,
that's what's going to happen to me,
the guy who makes a living off his mouth,
his mouth is going to rot out,
that's how it's going to go down,
that terror just dissipated, obviously.
I'm grateful that it is what it is
and it isn't what I thought it was, right?
And I get a little relief from that.
But how am I going to change my life?
Like, I'm never going to go back to nicotine and lozenges.
I'm not going to dip anymore.
That's just stupid.
I guess I won't smoke any more cigars either.
It's just like these are one of those lessons.
Not even if this was, even if this wasn't caused by that shit.
Like they start cutting shit out of you,
you start to make compromises, right?
Isn't that the way it's supposed to go?
You lose a thing, maybe you live differently.
Is that it? Is that the saying?
If something is removed because of something you did,
try not to do that anymore right isn't that the bumper
sticker so what's going on went over to uh to the lot to the sound stages for glow to do a fitting
to try on all my new wonderful 80s shirts for the upcoming season and try on some new pants say hello to the folks ran into alice and brie
she's looking lean and mean i mean really she's all muscle that chick
but we're excited it's going to be fun also really astounded and excited by all the feedback coming
back for my special too Too Real, on Netflix.
That will be there.
Too Real will remain there on Netflix for you to watch.
And you can get my last special more later at Epix On Demand, I believe, and also on iTunes.
I believe you can rent it or buy it on iTunes.
And the special before that, Thinky Pain, is on Netflix. And there is an evolution,
people. There's an arc. There's a landing, okay? It all comes together. It's all going to come
together right in time for everything to end miserably for everyone. That's upbeat. I am Mr.
That's upbeat.
I am Mr. Upbeat today.
George Schlatter.
This guy's a legend, and he's the real deal,
and he's been in television for many years,
and I think after you listen to this,
we're probably making a new laugh-in.
I'm not going to commit to that,
but I think that's where this was going.
I believe that's what was happening during this conversation.
The 50th anniversary box set of all the laugh-ins is available.
I have it.
It's quite the time capsule.
It's on DVD.
Time Life has put it out.
You can get it now.
And this is me and George Schlatter talking show business.
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path forward. Take a closer look how at Calgary's on the right path forward.
Take a closer look how at calgaryeconomicdevelopment.com.
Death is in our air.
This year's most anticipated series, FX's Shogun, only on Disney+.
We live and we die.
We control nothing beyond that.
An epic saga based on the global bestsellingselling novel by james clavelle to show
your true heart just to risk your life will i die here you'll never leave japan alive
fx's shogun a new original series streaming february 27th exclusively on disney plus 18
plus subscription required t's and c's apply
yes Please apply. Yes.
You know, in terms of like a joke junkie,
and you don't feel like you can keep up,
but we're talking about technology,
but you're just saying the power of the joke,
is it diminished because there's so much shit going on?
It's intimidating.
I thought the other day, I thought we're going to do a whole new thing we may do a new laugh in oh really yeah and
and i thought you know what i'm going to do i'm going to come up with another way to do commercials
and i went through this whole thing about how i could get sasha baron to come in and do interrupt
commission and do non-commercial commercial i had a whole vast plan right yeah and i was really
proud of myself so I picked up this morning
to the LA Times.
Yeah.
And they're doing it.
They're doing it in real life.
Yeah.
No, they just talked about...
Or as a comedy show.
You're saying that real life
has become so non-ironic and farcical
that comedy becomes difficult.
Comedy becomes reality.
Right.
If you just look this morning,
you can't be,
that's Monty Python in Washington. I know. So what do we do? Are we all supposed to get serious now?
I mean, I find that, you know, laughing was a part of my childhood. I'm 53. So I remember seeing it. I remember it represented that there's a different world out there. Yes. Right. Because I was a kid.
That there's a different world out there.
Yes.
Right?
Because I was a kid.
I was, what was it, seven, what year?
It was 1968 when we did the pilot.
All right.
So America is coming unglued.
Yes.
It's a fucking, you know, blood in the streets insanity.
It's overdue to do it again. You know, Vietnam is like at fever pitch.
The country is turning on it.
Yep.
And it's coming unhinged.
And then this comes out, and it's like it provides some satirical relief,
but also, like I imagine for that side of things, the left,
it was sort of like, well, thank God at least we got a voice in show business.
And the thing was, they never really understood what we were doing
until it was too late.
Well, who didn't?
The networks and the sponsors and so forth.
And once we said it, then we went on to something else,
and then they thought about it and said, wait a minute, what did they just say?
And we were doing a thing the other day.
I read how much money they're spending to promote and develop tobacco
and how many people are dying.
Right.
And I looked back and I saw the salute we did to smoking.
Right.
And we said, smoking is good for you no matter what they say.
Smoking is good for you, so just ignore the AMA.
And then you cut to Dan Rowan and he says, sure, I saved the coupons.
How do you got this?
Well, iron lung.
Right.
Yeah.
And the network said, you can't put that.
We have tobacco sponsors.
Yeah, sure.
And I said, it's going to go on.
I'll lose them.
Anyway, the sponsors wanted to stay on that show because they wanted the rating.
They didn't mind what we were saying.
Right.
That piece today is on the front page.
So nothing, we haven't learned anything.
We haven't learned anything.
Well, the one thing we've learned is that corporate power trumps everything.
Capitalism trumps everything.
And if you can get enough suckers to buy your shit, then you'll keep selling it.
This is true.
Put that on a bumper sticker.
Suckers.
But it's now a science.
It's gone beyond reality.
When you read this morning's paper, you say, no, this is impossible.
No, I know, but it isn't.
And then you have to ask yourself, whose fault is this?
What the hell happened?
Has the bottom fallen out that is truth that uh tenuous it's not with
everybody sold out you know yeah we were we were blamed with the smothers brothers yeah and laughing
partially for ending the vietnam war because we kept harping on it harping on it and when people
are laughing they're learning so you can say anything with a joke that's right well the thing is is that as it has become more commodified you know they are laughing
and learning but they they may not be doing anything with that education that's where we
come in yeah oh yeah you got a team yeah i'm gonna say i'm gonna say we're just putting out
this collection of laughing i know it's beautiful i just. I just got the box. Did you get it?
Yeah.
Okay.
I got it yesterday, so I haven't watched it.
All right.
All right.
I wanted to be sure you got it.
I know what it looks like.
The box looks nice.
Well, it's 144 shows plus one whole reel of outtakes.
Oh, great.
Party reels and so on.
Oh, those are funny.
Just like a lot of outtakes of Goldie Hawn laughing at things.
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, they asked me if we could do a show of outtakes and i said are you kidding i aired my
outtake laughing was an outtake no i know i remember but see can we do that today today we've
we've developed new rules we've put up new barriers new walls and they're just ready to get knocked
down well i think the issue really becomes about the outlets. I think what you're talking about when you say you can't keep up is that content is available through so many different
outlets, right? So, you know, back in the day, and I'm nostalgic about three networks. I mean,
because then, you know, everybody was, you know, really on the same page, give or take a show or
two. Focused. Right? That's right. So, you know, you had a lot of eyes, you had a had a lot of conversation you know you didn't have people isolated in bubbles or you know some people
liked cbs some people like nbc but if a show was a show that people liked everybody watched the
whole fucking country that's right that's right now i you know i do a joke on stage about i say
it's gotten to the point where someone will come up to me and ask me if i've seen the show and not
only have i not heard of the show but when they tell me where it's on i don't know what that is that's right that's our fault is it
who's yours tv it's our fault who are you representing here well well the world we have
we have we have become conformed with all the non-conformal to be a non-conformist like everybody
else sure right and we we're letting them get by with it so my new thing my new thing yeah it's
gonna go light years we're instead of trying to catch up
yeah we've got to try to leapfrog over it uh-huh and then we own it again what does that look like
i mean it's it seems to me that like i did a little bit of research there's a lot to do so i
figured you know if i could just get you talking i don't have to be fucking responsible you gotta
blame somebody but you did do a show that seemed kind of foreshadowed something that didn't go.
Your first attempt at the variety show was something called Turn On.
It wasn't a first attempt.
That was once Laugh-In was a hit.
And I went in.
Oh, okay.
I could do anything.
It was 60 years ago, and I was, you know.
You're making money for the networks.
Well, I'm arrogant now, but do you want to see me with a 50 share?
Yeah.
Oh, geez.
And so we went in, and we went in to deliberately do a show that would break all the networks. Well, I'm arrogant now, but do you want to see me with a 50 share? Yeah. Oh, geez. And so we went in,
and we went in to deliberately do a show
that would break all the rules,
and it was Turn On,
and they bought it.
What was the premise?
The premise was just to,
it was like a computerized television show.
It all came in a computer,
and there was no audience.
The audience reaction were all sound effects.
And now at that time,
given that computers are just,
you know,
we don't even look at them as unusual anymore.
They're just part of our life.
They're appendages, psychic appendages.
Like, I imagine at that time, 1969, was it?
Yeah.
So what was the concept?
You know, the computer, was this a 2001 style?
We had two guys sitting in front of a computer.
Right.
A giant thing, right?
And he says, I've never programmed a program before. And he's's heard computer sounds and it was all of the stuff that at that point
you couldn't even do like a moog synthesizer that was it it was moog and the moog synthesizer
you're the only one who remembers that moog synthesizer was the soundtrack
that's right yeah and it was like one guy that could play one of those. That's right. And so we scored the show.
Gershon somebody.
We scored the show with the Moog synthesizer.
And when they saw the pilot, they increased the buy.
They went from 13 to 18.
Uh-huh.
And it was Bristol Myers.
Who was the star?
Who was the cat?
There was none.
It was just all, you know, the opening of the show was a little old lady on a motorcycle.
She says, hi, boys and girls, time to turn on.
And she gunned the motorcycle and went back through a wall.
Always funny.
That would be funny today, George.
It's always funny.
You put an old person on a vehicle.
You hurt a little old lady and you're a winner.
But the thing was, the thing was, there was a guy in Cleveland, some brain donor owned
a station back there and he wanted to keep Peyton Place on the air and turn on replace Peyton Place.
So he called all of the affiliates and said, we can't allow this to happen.
So he called the affiliates, and as the show aired in New York and came across the country,
they were canceling it one station at a time.
Was that a political move or just a guy that liked Peyton Place?
Yeah, he liked Peyton Place, and he also did not like that this didn't have a political base.
It had no base.
What it was was looking funny at everything.
Yeah, right.
So anyway, it was canceled by the time it got to California.
And I had told him, I said, let's put it on the air, and then I'll back off a little bit,
and we'll do a thing about it being canceled.
I laid it all out.
The only thing was it came true.
So it didn't even air, really.
What, one episode?
No, it aired one episode in New York
and by the time it got to California,
it had been canceled.
We had Tim Conway trying to commit suicide
and it had a nun trying to break into a vending machine
that said the pill on it.
There were things that would be probably.
How is that not political?
Well, it was.
You sought to piss off exactly who you pissed off.
Well, you know.
But no, I definitely appreciate that.
But it seems to me that the programmer, you know, who had the syndicated stations, you know, was like, fuck these hippies.
But see, anger is one of the emotions that's okay to stimulate. I i got no problem with it but i'm just wondering make a living on it
but i'm just wondering if i'm just trying to cite uh whether or not the the reason it didn't have a
life was because of conservative forces yeah yeah and it was because this one guy and it was it was
pretty shocking and then but i said we'd back off the next week there was no next week that
was it one of my proudest accomplishments but but laughing was still on so you didn't laughing was
still on laughing was still on we laughing got a 50 share we were getting that doesn't even that
those words don't even aren't even said anymore no one knows what that is and like how like those
it's it's like the henry ford shit like you know like when did that yeah. And see, I was arrogant today as trying to say fuck on the air.
Yeah.
No, we tried to avoid it.
We did the Farkle family, and we did look that up in your Funkin' Wagon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we never did get to that.
Yeah.
But there was always the threat.
Where'd you start?
I mean, how did it start for you in show business?
Where'd you come from?
Oh, God.
Well, where you came from is more colorful than where I came from.
I don't know.
What, a Jewish family from Albuquerque?
Stop it.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, they started in Jersey.
Started in Jersey.
Everybody does.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, one of the places.
Jersey, Lower East Side.
Actually, Jersey's the second stop, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And so you wound up here in this wonderful place.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
You're Jewish?
No, I wanted to be, but the operation scared me.
I can't spare you. Anyway, but, I mean to be, but the operation scared me. I can't spare you.
Anyway, but I mean, it's a long, long story.
My mother was a concert violinist.
My aunt was a concert pianist.
I worked with the St. Louis Municipal Opera when I was a kid.
You grew up in St. Louis.
Yeah.
Pre-arch St. Louis.
Well, yeah, and then we spent some time in East St. Louis.
Yeah.
I was the last white guy out of East St. Louis.
Uh-huh.
That was colorful. But then we came out here. The story will take up your. Louis. Yeah. I was the last white guy out of East St. Louis. Uh-huh. That was colorful.
But then we came out here.
The story will take up your whole program.
No, I get it.
It'll be very boring.
Well, I think we've met a few times.
I feel like I've done a show of yours at some point.
Oh, I'm sure you have.
You could be my kid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like I met you at the Laugh Factory years ago.
You were producing something.
It's just the comedy people.
One of my jobs was at Ciro's, and Ciro's became the comedy one of my jobs was at cirrus and cirrus
became the comedy that's right well that fascinates me i know you know my buddy cliff
nesteroff who he must see you might what a piece of work has he moved into your house yet he's
trying to what a piece of work he the condition is that i would move out oh yeah okay what a piece
of work he is can you imagine him walking into my office with that little silly hat? With the silly hat and his curiosity?
His nerd
encyclopedia of the
history of comedy, bringing up people
third or second stringers
that only you would know. He's the only
person alive that knows some of those people.
Herky Stiles. Who knew
Herky Stiles but me? Did you know Herky Stiles?
Yes, yes.
That's why Cliff loves you.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Cliff came in.
I was amazed that he had done the research he has.
Oh, he loves it.
He loves it.
So, but Ciro's.
Get him to play the interview we did one night.
They almost closed the place.
But he is as knowledgeable as anybody about the history of show business.
Yeah, well, I think he's a new generation of that.
And it doesn't really exist anymore.
There were guys that used to do what he does years ago,
but I don't think there's anybody as curious and as thorough with it
and sort of bringing, making sure the legacy of these B-level comics is intact.
But see, they were B-level.
B-level is a definition or
description I just mean guys that people don't know is that maybe that's it yeah
yeah that's a better description I remember one time we were doing a
comedy awards and I and I wanted to book well BS Puli was another guy yeah I knew
very well yeah but what's he famous? You know what the BS stands for?
BS was the most obscene comic in the world,
you know, other than The Woman.
Yeah.
The Woman, which one?
Oh, God.
I'll tell you in a minute.
See, the memory's the third thing to go.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
That's sad.
It should be the first.
I know it's not, unfortunately.
First thing went twice.
By the way, I'm having a hell of a good time in here.
I like this little environment.
It's not too hot?
No, no.
I was on the way out here.
I was trying to figure out how to move you into town.
Yeah?
But it would be pointless.
No, I don't want to go back.
This only works here.
It is.
Yeah, you got to take the full trip.
Mm-hmm.
B.S. Pulley. B.S. Pulley.
B.S. Pulley.
Well, their mom's Mabley was in there.
Right, that's right.
And Bell Barth was the other one.
Yeah.
B.S. Pulley and Bell Barth worked one night together at the Macombo in the Stone's Head Strip.
Yeah.
The most obscene language you ever heard in your life.
Yeah.
But he was funny.
Yeah.
You know, anyway.
But that existed, and people don't know about that guy.
Well, they don't, unfortunately.
It's just as well that they don't, because, you know, now today, the use of the language is abused.
Once you drop the F-bomb on a stage, you can't say anything else.
That is the joke.
Right, but you know what you don't get is that, like, at that time, and I still think at this time,
when you're in a live situation and somebody is out there on the ice doing dirty shit, it still has an impact.
It still feels kind of weird and kind of electric and kind of wrong.
I can imagine seeing people like that back in the day on the strip, even Red Fox, early Richard Pryor, or Lenny Bruce.
I don't know if you knew Lenny Bruce.
Those are all my buddies. Right. So, like,
I would imagine seeing Lenny, whether he was funny
or not, was a very visceral and raw
thing. Like, you knew you were kind of
like, something's happening with this guy.
Lenny didn't get in trouble, by the way, for dirty
language. He got in trouble because he pissed off a judge,
right? No, it was religion.
Religion was what hung up Lenny.
What, the Catholics? Yeah. I mean, his jokes about religion, about the Pope, and about Jesus, you know, that's right no it was religion yeah religion was what hung up at lenny what the catholics yeah i mean
and his jokes about religion about the pope and about jesus you know that's what they couldn't
tolerate the language they could tolerate they could have worked with the language they could
they could have worked with the language for jesus if he had just left god alone he'd still be around
but did you know him like through the transition did you know him before a little bit yeah i didn't
know him real well yeah i was in working at cir zeros and then yeah crescendo and what year was that whether you were
at zeros it must have been right before it became nothing like wasn't there a period there was just
empty in a rent space no it was it was the best club i mean after that then what happened was
business changed yeah and so i convinced the owner to turn the main room into a restaurant and take the little
room in back and turn it into a little nightclub, a little place.
That became the Sirouette Room.
Right.
And the opening show was Diane Carroll and Jimmy Comek.
Doing what?
Doing comedy.
Uh-huh.
And just as that little room.
In the original room.
Yeah.
That's the original room now before the comedy store became the comedy store.
And the restaurant. The front room was a restaurant. Front room used to be Sirou's. The big room. Yeah. The original room. Yeah. That's the original room now, before the comedy store became the comedy store. The front room was a restaurant.
Front room used to be Ciro's.
The big room.
Yeah.
The main room.
Martin and Lewis and Danny Thomas and everybody worked in it.
What year were you there managing it?
Must have been 52, something like that.
And who were the headlining acts?
Martin and Lewis, Danny Thomas, you know, all of them.
And Red Skelton.
Red Skelton?
Yeah, Red Skelton.
Danny Thomas?
Red Skelton was interesting.
He had this whole God image, you know?
Yeah.
But his dress rehearsal was the filthiest thing you ever saw in your life.
And he had this wonderful, God love, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
And so one day they taped it by accident.
They weren't supposed to.
He fired the whole staff.
Yeah.
But Red was a piece of work.
Yeah, Red Skelton was?
How so?
I remember watching his show when I was a kid, the Variety Show. Yeah kid the variety show yeah yeah he come out as the clown and did the faces god
love you know he well how was he a piece of work well he there were two red skeletons there was the
onstage red skeleton and there was the after hours red skeleton and i imagine you saw that with a lot
of people a lot danny thomas also wasn't quite the jesus freak he pretended to be hey who the
hell did i talk to who was it it was a big was it norman lear who started writing for danny thomas
like was that who it was simmons and lear yeah okay good all right i'm glad i have some memory
mine's going too that's good that's good but norman lear norman lear is a godsend we should
thank whoever created normally we should thank him but uh but so like this this on stage off
stage thing is sort of fascinating to me given that i've been in show business style for like more than half of my life
yeah they're they're you know part of what makes show business great it's it's not so much the
parties but it's it's actually backstage just being backstage knowing that you're about to
enter that other space and obviously how how people use that backstage space can can vary you know and there's
extreme so what red skeleton was a drinker well he did a lot of stuff i mean but he was he was a
lovely man yeah but his offstage uh material and language was uh was much different than the image
he had on stage so it was danny thomas yeah but but but uh was it was it funnier was it better
oh it was it was much better if you were
like nine years old you know and I did the first Danny Thomas specials yeah yeah and so we uh I
remember we're going up to Vegas to book one of the shows uh-huh as we're getting on the plane
he kisses his hand he goes goodbye God I'll see you when I get back from Vegas. And he did. Well, are all those stories true about Danny Thomas?
Oh, yeah.
It would have been impossible for anybody to live up to the stories about Danny Thomas.
It's kind of crazy.
And Milton Berle.
Milton Berle is the one that nobody could have lived up to.
But he was sort of shameless about it.
He used to wave his dick around, didn't he?
I'm the only person I know that ever saw it real.
I thought a lot of people saw it.
Well, not like this.
What did you do, George?
I was like nine years old.
I was producing the Dinah Shore show.
Dinah wanted to do more comedy, and my whole background was comedy.
So I'm producing my first show as Milton Berle.
With Dinah Shore.
Yeah.
And Milton Berle walks in, closes the door, and drops his pants and his shorts.
And I see this anaconda. And I'm like, oh, my God.
And he inserts a suppository that looked like a submarine.
Yeah.
And he said, oh, boy, these things are killing me.
And then he said, now what did you want to talk about?
You can't after you've seen that.
And then for the next five days, he'd slap me on the cheek,
and he'd say, how old are you?
How old are you?
You going to tell the king? How old are you? And finally, after about a week of this, I'd slap me on the cheek, and he'd say, how old are you? How old are you? You're going to tell the king?
How old are you?
And finally, after about a week of this, I said, Mr. Burrell, I'm not very old, and I
wouldn't ever tell the king what's funny, but if you touch me once more, I'm going to
knock you on your ass, and I know I'll get a laugh.
Yeah.
The greatest moment, he looked at me, and he said, what took you so long?
He wanted me to stand up to him.
He was a piece of work did you do you
think he was a great oh yeah oh milton burr was one of the greatest technicians of all time in
terms of uh joke craft timing and then the craft and i mean he taught comedy he was he was brilliant
and at that time like you know there's a lot of conversation this is something that's interesting
to me uh somewhat is that you know over the last
decade the idea of joke theft uh has become sort of paramount in uh in attacking people sure which
you know is understandable if someone has an original bit uh you know fuck it you know you
don't want to steal it but you know you read cliff's book or i'm sure you've seen that all
those guys back then were sharing jokes well yeah i mean it was see but you didn't have back then
there was somebody would do a joke at the copa in new york and two hours later it would be on stage
at zeros but there wasn't the communication now there's this wealth of access to everybody's
material right but also but also like there it wasn't until the the late 50s and the 60s
that you got these guys who were point of view comics who were personality
driven who who the premium was put on creating your own material i mean that didn't really happen
till later right yeah yeah yeah but well you didn't really have the windows until later you
know as as television came along you had more more ability to put it out in the window and
comedy comedy is such a fragile thing but it's a
valuable part of our environment that's why i'm proud to view what you're doing of course now
tell me about the variety show because like when you were at zeros or wherever did you
was that your first job in show business zero well i'd been with uh it's a really long story i want
i started out booking piano piano players for mca so Oh, so you were like a manager, an agent?
Yeah.
Piano players at bars and shit?
Yeah.
Clubs?
Yeah.
Got a gig for you in Vegas in the lounge kind of shit?
That's right.
While I was out late at night, I couldn't make any money on piano players, so I started
booking strippers, and I was working for MCA, and when MCA found out I was booking strippers,
they were livid.
Booking strippers where? livid and uh booking strippers
where at uh all over all over i had like a thing i had like a route where they were all working but
they weren't there weren't strip clubs then they were burlesque clubs so you they were they were
strip clothes they were not like they are now they were you know they they were more to the in the
shower right you know they weren't they weren't you know my my my history my history is somewhat
colorful i'm not as colorful as yours but that's not true that's not true yours is much more right you know they weren't they weren't you know my my my history my history is somewhat colorful
i'm not as colorful as yours but that's not true that's not true you're yours is much more colorful
you're older than me and you were here when it was a small dirty world and i'm still here yes
guess what what uh to me now this sounds weird yeah i think this is the beginning i think we
have such a window now with all the new media and all the
new devices and all the new technology and subject matter and access to information if we use it
right yeah we can really revolutionize the whole world for the better because the comics the comics
are what will make our survival i why they'll certainly help there's got to be some i think
they're functioning as a pretty good check on power you know but it is uh again the fragment fragmented media landscape i don't know i want to believe you
uh but but i think that market forces uh you know are more powerful in that they keep making new
outlets and new ideas and new things and new rules right and they keep paying people less and less
and then you know they get you on the whatever.
You know, I'm nostalgic for a time, not only for three networks, but when Hollywood.
Because I look at like the Dinah Shore show that you did.
You did how many years of that?
It's a lot of years, right?
A lot of years.
I also did the Judy Garland show.
Well, those two shows, when you look at the list of guest stars.
Yeah.
See, these are people that you basically put on the entire neighborhood of Hollywood and whoever was still alive and still around, whether they were working or they weren't working, stars from movies, comics, singers.
That's right.
And there were hundreds of them.
And in my mind, they hold this mythic place because no one knows them anymore. more you know like if you go and you you look at the list of people like uh oh my god just for
dying to shore edie adams julie andrews paul anka eve arden cliff arquette pearl bailey tony bennett
polly burke joey bishop that's right moon like these like if this you look at this list and it's
like the entire like you must have had the whole town in that's right and we did it once a week on
sunday night we did it live yeah and everybody Sunday night, and we did it live. Yeah. And everybody seemed to, like, am I wrong in thinking that everyone knew each other?
It was a community.
The business was smaller, and everybody was.
You got it.
That's it.
Like, it was a new business in a way.
Well, yeah.
Now it's so vast, and there's so many agents and managers.
And it's so fragmented.
I guess, like, you know, when you watch those roasts or whatever, you know, you're sort of like, I really wanted to believe that everybody knew each other and everybody kind of.
They did.
They did.
But I saw the, you know, see, it's not gone.
It's just different.
And what we need, what we need is a real revolutionary.
Okay.
And maybe my time has finally arrived.
Mahalia Jackson you had on there many times.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And Michael Jackson. She was a great singer. Huh? Great singer, huh? Pearl Bailey. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And Michael Jackson.
She was a great singer.
Huh?
Great singer, huh?
Pearl Bailey.
Oh, yeah.
Al Hurt.
But what happened at like the Variety Show in it, because when I grew up, I remember,
what do I remember?
I remember laughing.
I remember the Smothers Brothers a little bit.
But I remember Sonny and Cher, Tony Orlando and Dawn.
Yes, yes.
That Carol Burnett show.
Yes.
That format. Yes. When didett show, that format, when did
that come to be?
Like, when did that, how was that the format?
It grew out of vaudeville.
And some of it grew out of burlesque and so forth.
But it grew out of vaudeville.
And they would come in and they would bring, now today, nobody wants to do their hit.
They want to introduce their next song.
So you don't have the magic we had then.
They would come in and sing whatever it was that it was familiar whatever it was but the idea was you
had a host or a celebrity driven yes uh thing where you'd have some dancing you'd have some
singing you do a couple comedy sketches maybe a little stand-up that's it it was a golden time
and then there was tons of it and that was your bread and butter that you were the guy right
that's right and and why do you think that format didn't hold up because the business changed so
much you know and then vegas happened and then what happened in vegas well when vegas see when
vegas happened vegas was only about four clubs in the old day i used to work at the frontier hotel
in vegas yeah when vegas was like doing what i was a booker the frontier hotel and it was like... Doing what? I was a booker at the Frontier Hotel.
And it was like when Vegas was Vegas.
My grandmother once said,
it was nicer when the boys ran things.
It was cleaner.
Yeah.
It was easier.
Yeah.
Everything could be done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I, as a result, had some friends in Vegas.
I was like 19 years old.
Yeah.
But I knew everybody and I could fix anything.
Oh, yeah. Like what were the problems?
Whatever the problem was, whether it was a girl or money or whatever, or a problem.
Drugs?
Yeah, yeah. So I'd done a favor for them one time and a guy came to me, I think his name was Fungi.
And he said, I want to talk to you. I said, how are you doing, Mr. Fungi? He said,
look, we're very grateful to you for what you did. I said, good, that's fine. He said, I want to talk to you. I said, how are you doing, Mr. Fung? He said, look, we're very grateful to you for what you did.
I said, good, that's fine.
He said, we're grateful for it. We want to do something for you.
I said, no, you don't have to.
I'm fine.
No, we're grateful.
You don't understand, do you?
What are you?
He says, we want to do something for you.
What do you need?
I said, I don't need anything.
I'm glad I could help.
And that's it.
He said, well, OK, what do you want?
I don't want.
Look, I'm glad I could help. and that's it he said okay what do you want i don't want look let's just i'm glad i could help okay who don't yous like no when somebody asks you that you get
very nervous yeah yeah yeah i bet but it was a very colorful time in vegas well did you know like
uh like at that time like i never got to talk to shecky green or buddy hackett or any of those
guys all buddies oh yeah and they and my my grandparents would go to vegas and it used to
mean something they used to love and it used to mean something.
They used to love it.
They used to feel like you were special just when you went there.
Yeah, well, it was.
People got dressed up.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And was it like when you saw, like, because you've done shows with Sammy Davis.
Yes.
You've done shows with Frank Sinatra and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, was it different?
It was a sense of community.
They were all friends.
I mean, was it different?
It was a sense of community.
They were all friends.
And after Sinatra's show, we would all go over to the thing.
We'd see the late night show with Rickles or with Louis Prima.
Right.
And there was a feeling of family.
Yeah.
It wasn't so big.
Right.
And everybody was hanging out.
Everyone was eating together.
Everybody knew everybody.
Everybody hung out together.
It was a very colorful time. And was Sheckcky as uh crazy as everyone said oh yeah it was shecky shecky's big thing is he said that uh frank sinatra uh saved his life yeah right yeah i love that that's enough go ahead
tell it but it was no it was like he had done something and they were beating up on him right
yeah and so frank walked in and he said that's enough that's enough fellas saved his life shecky
is still one of the funniest people in the world.
I know.
I wanted to interview him.
Why not?
Why didn't he do it?
Because he was mad at Cliff.
Why?
It's a crazy story.
Well, you could get mad at Cliff.
There's a whole list of reasons why you could get mad.
He's a pest.
Not only that, but he's so damn accurate.
Yeah.
Well, that's the thing.
And I say pest with love.
But I had read a piece that Cliff wrote on Shecky, and it was all about driving the car into the fountain, the fight to a hack.
This is all true.
Right.
And it reminded me, I wanted to go out, take a drive out and interview Shecky Green.
I was doing a lot of the old guys, and I thought that would be great.
And I read the article, and I emailed that would be great right and I read the article and
I emailed a website Shecky Green's website looked like it hadn't been touched in a decade
and right so I email info at Shecky Green and about a week later I get an email back it says
Shecky will do your show this is his phone number don't tell anybody don't give his number out like
who the hell is asking me for Shecky Green that's right so i i forget about it now like a few months later i i call the number and say hello and i'm like i'm
looking for shecky green it's like who's this i said i'm mark maron i emailed you about a podcast
it's like a radio show i was i thought you know you were interested in being interviews i'm not
doing any more interviews no more interviews i don't know where the fuck that guy got that stuff
like he's going off and i just
happen to know there was only one thing he could be talking about that's cliff's piece yeah so so
i said i don't know anything about that he goes where did he get his fucking information where
did he get that fucking information probably from shaggy well here's the thing he says he didn't say
nothing about the charities nothing right so he's yelling at me and i go look all right well okay i
understand let me let me see if i can just can figure out what's going on here, right?
So I'd never met Cliff before, and I'd never talked to him.
And this is the first exchange.
Maybe I'd emailed him once.
He's a lovely guy.
No, I love him.
I had him in here.
I talk to him all the time.
So I email Cliff.
I say, look, I just talked to Shacky Green.
He's furious, and he wants to know where the hell you got that information.
And I shoot that email off, and two seconds later, email comes back.
He told me.
That's right.
Absolutely right.
And it was all true.
Of course.
Driving the car into the fountain.
It was all true.
I think these guys get concerned about their legacy.
Like, you know, it's like, okay, I did this crazy shit, but I also did this other shit to balance it out.
You know, it's that same thing you're talking about offstage and on stage is that you know they're they're monsters they get
known as monsters but you know they want balance but their imbalance is their charm well i know but
they want history put in the window in the mental health monthly right i get it i get it sure
but you worked with people like uh like prior you You did a show with Pryor later on. What was, I mean, at what phase was he at?
Well, I worked when he was just a baby in the village.
I worked with Richard.
You were in the village, too?
Oh, yeah.
What are you, Zelig?
No, I just, I was all over the place.
What were you doing in the village?
You working with Manny Roth?
Yes.
How did you know?
You know a lot of people.
But that's when I first met Richard.
And Richard was working at a little club in the village.
And Richard occasionally used artificial stimulants, you know.
I heard that.
And so if people were talking, he would get angry,
and he would lie on his back on the piano and do the whole show to the ceiling.
Yeah.
And that was before he broke out, right?
That was when he was still doing, like, a more watered-down version, more Cosby-ish.
Yeah. Well, Cosby took a lot from richard oh really oh yeah oh yeah so it went back the other way i that's
what everybody said well there's a lot of myths about cosby you know yeah one of them's turning
out to be true what was he crazy yeah it's something sick he was sick there's definitely
you know it's not a sympathetic position see yeah's a, you know, it's horrible.
Richard, Richard was funny and he was very funny.
He was also troubled, you know?
Yeah.
Manny Roth.
The reason I know Manny Roth is because when I started doing comedy in the late 80s, Rafi
DeLugoff, Art DeLugoff's son.
Yeah.
Oh, there's a credit yeah uh had to you know begun booking
some comedy at the gate which was you know sort of falling off and there was weekend shows at the
gate and manny roth uh i don't know what his affiliation was but he was hanging around you
know and he was in his 80s probably you know and he you know said he always used to say i was
richard pryor's first manager i i owned the cafe war originally and whatever else he did so he was just one of those
guys i met when i started out who was this old timer but he was the real deal right yeah yeah
and you knew all those guys oh i worked with all of those guys and then i mean and and and i i
enjoyed them you know and of course red fox I did Red Fox's first time on network television.
I think he might be one of the funniest people that ever lived.
Is one of the funniest.
Also one of the meanest.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Did you ever hear the thing he did on The Grand Wizard?
No.
I did a show called Soul, and it was the first all-black variety show.
How long did that last?
One show.
What year was that?
Oh, it was around maybe 70-something.
Why the fuck didn't that take?
Well, you'll know.
I couldn't sell it there.
Matter of fact, the show did very well.
They ran it, and the network didn't buy it as a series
because they said they couldn't cancel it
because the reaction was so intense.
Red Fox did a thing.
What do I wish for the Grand Wizard?
I wish for the Grand Wizard? I wish for the Grand Wizard
a five car accident
with no survivors
and a fire
and the fire hydrants
froze over from Nome
to Nova Scotia
and the Grand Wizard
be in the fire
and the Grand Wizard
put the Grand Wizard
buried the Grand Wizard
in a plain brown box
and the possums
crawling around
looking for something
strange to eat
and made a glorified Grand Wizard with a bolt of lightning through the heart.
Just on and on.
Oh, yeah, it goes on and on, the grand wizard.
Anyway, but Red Fox was really funny but also disturbed.
I did a lot of stuff with Red.
Have you?
I did a movie with Red.
I did the only movie ever done on videotape at the time.
Yeah, what was it?
It was called Norman, Is That You?
It was Red Fox and Pearl Bailey.
Yeah, what was the angle?
Well, it was, here you go again.
See, you were touching on all the things where I got in trouble.
This was a couple.
It was a white guy and a black guy, and they were a gay couple.
And Red Fox was married to pearl bailey and came
to los angeles to console his son because his wife had run off with somebody yeah and that's
the basic and they find out that his son is gay and when they find out he walks in with his big
huge gorgeous hooker yeah and pearl bailey says norman is that you but it was it was really funny
but the reaction was so intense they they uh they could never. It was a film? Yeah.
It was a film done on videotape.
It was the first movie done on videotape.
What year was that?
Oh, God, it had to be about 70, something like that, 72 or something.
Really?
See, and the thing is, the thing is, where you are right now is right on the brink, right on the threshold of a whole new kind of show business.
Because there are no rules anymore. has rules apparently and yeah and boy the sky's the limit with what you can
do well but but what's interesting though is what you're saying is that you know i understand the
sky's the limit but like really and i think that's it's optimistic and it's hopeful and i appreciate
it the sky's the limit in in a sea of garbage. Yeah, but see, the limit is not language.
The limit is not being able to use the F word.
I know that.
The limit is being able to put Obama on the shelf.
No, I get that.
But sadly, it seems to me, having just watched a 10-part documentary on Vietnam,
that the cultural and political opposition opposition to to what we are
our side or our ilk is looking at is really the same as it was in the 60s it was invented in the
60s nixon's silent majority the the the legacy of that is now in control of of our government in our
country i don't think it's in control i think i think it's only in control because we let it be
yeah because of the messaging.
I get it.
We let it be.
But what I'm saying is that the pushback is not unlike what you were originally pushing back against.
It's the same shit.
They just need somebody with enough huevos that doesn't care about losing the job to come in and have fun.
See, the thing is, anger isn't what you need.
You need humor. You need fun. You
need playful. You need something. Well, let me ask you this then. Having worked in all these
did you know Woody Allen when he was starting out? Very well, yeah. So you were in the village. You
were doing all this stuff previous. You were booking Sears. You saw the transition of old
timey show business into the 60s. You shepherded it in. You and Dennis Hopper and Hal Ashby and those guys.
Hal Ashby, yeah, yeah.
But, you know, the transition was that TV didn't know what to do.
Movies didn't know what to do.
So that's where you get Easy Rider, Five Easy Pieces,
Laugh-In, The Smothers Brothers.
So there was a cultural shift that was leaning left
and pushing up against what Lenny had laid out to begin with, right?
Yeah, we knew what to do.
It was just somebody having the huevos to do it.
Right.
So it seems to me that, you know, given the movie you just told me about in 1972, that
from early on, at some point you said, fuck these assholes.
No.
Let's go.
No, no.
I said, I love you.
I want to help you.
No, no, no.
Once you say, fuck you, the fight is over.
You got to say, hey, babe, I love you.
What do you need?
And then do whatever you want.
You lie to them and you can get by with it.
Well, that goes on both sides, buddy.
Oh, well, it does, except for the fact that they've got a day job.
We can stay up all night long figuring out new and exciting diversions.
So when you started doing, when you started making Laugh-In, who was in the room?
What was the angle?
What was it?
It was based upon a lie.
I had been doing the show called The Best on Record,
which was the early Grammy Awards.
Yeah.
And there was no award yet. We couldn't even make the awards until we got the money from the show.
There was no Grammy Awards?
No, it was called The Best on Record.
Right.
And every award we gave had Henry Mancini's name on it
because we had no money to make awards. Yeah. and so i was pretty much giving an award to anybody
who'd show up and this was a show yeah and but it was doing very well and nbc wanted to do it again
and i said no guys i've done it i don't want to do that anymore so i said i'll do it one more year
if you let me do one show my way with no interference no so they said okay so just
backing up a little bit so basically your hustle and your
your your thing in show business up to that point was creating these you know yearly or monthly but
not just the variety shows the weeklies but that's right you found that there was a racket in special
shows yeah and that you could do it yearly or bi-yearly and and make some money and and be
entertaining and not risk a lot in the sense that it's not everyone. Racket's a great word because I would do anything I could sell.
Right.
So it was a racket.
Right.
Well, I mean, you're one of the great racketeers and racketeurs of show business, right?
Yeah, that's it.
So that was how β and the beautiful thing about those things is if they hit,
it's sort of like, we'll do another one next year and you're a genius.
Well, this was.
What happened is they agreed to let me do one show my way with no interference no notes no rules nbc nbc yeah and so we came in with this show and
uh they said uh it was totally different when they saw the pilot of this thing and they went
crazy they said what is this this is no television 68 yeah this was 68 yeah and uh but i'd made a
deal with them where i could do one show my way and they didn't have anything to put on after the
miss america contest yeah and so they put this, and they didn't have anything to put on after the Miss America contest.
Yeah.
And so they put this in just because they had nothing else to put on.
But they were convinced it was a disaster,
and they said, you're going to have to slow it down.
So I said, okay.
And so I took some more time out and tightened it up a little.
And then they looked at it, and they laughed.
And I said, well, you laughed.
The audience is smarter than you.
So anyhow, they put it on.
And it got a pretty good reaction, no rating or anything.
But when they saw it, they were angry.
They said, what the hell is this?
This is no television show.
Nothing makes sense.
You say we'll be right back.
And then you come right back.
And so I said, yeah.
They said, well, this doesn't make sense.
I said, no, you don't understand.
The newest thing on the continent, they call it comedy verte.
I made it up.
Yeah.
Comedy verte.
We never heard of that.
I said, see how new it is?
So it was comedy verte.
And they put it on and promoted it as comedy verte.
You look it up.
You can't find it anywhere.
But, I mean, it makes sense that you're doing things that happen in the moment on television.
That's right.
But it didn't make sense then because the whole thing was, you know, my wife was so, you know.
Yeah.
And so then it did well.
And then they put it on as a series because they had nothing else and it cost nothing.
The show was very, nobody on the show had never heard of it.
Who created it?
I did.
With Rowan and Martin?
No, Rowan and Martin.
See, the show was designed as just a happening, just with comics coming in.
Now, what blew your mind in the 60s?
Did you take some acid?
Did you go to San Francisco?
No, matter of fact.
What are you calling it a happening?
Where are you getting that?
Well, it was just I was bored.
Right, but you weren't part of the, you didn't go investigate the counterculture?
I had been burned, and I'd taken so much painkiller that I couldn't do anything.
I still today can't do any kind of drugs.
It's sad because I would have been a fun guy.
Well, you're pretty fun.
So you were just on the pulse of the counterculture?
Yeah.
Because it was all around you.
My own boredom prompted me into doing different things.
And when I did Dinah, it was the same thing with Judy Garland.
It was the same thing.
We did stuff with them that they hadn't done before.
What phase was Judy Garland when you started working with her she was great yeah it was she
how old was she was she uh in trouble yeah no no she'd just gone back with Sid Sid Loft and and uh
I I wanted to do the show but I didn't know how to audition so I said I didn't meet her until after
I was hired yeah so now my first meeting with Judy Garland, I said, so you're Judy Garland.
She said, so you're George Slaughter. I said, I didn't know what
to say. So I said, I don't care what you may
have heard. There's no truth to the rumor that I'm difficult.
She said, you're difficult?
I said, see, even you've heard about it.
From there, we just had fun
with her. Just great fun.
What made her great? It was magic.
Part of it was
the unbalance. She was not
a balanced person, but the enormity
of that talent was so
overwhelming. Her magic.
She enjoyed the audience as much as they enjoyed
her. So just on all levels. She was funny.
She could dance. She could sing.
And she could drink a lot of white wine.
Yeah, and she was erratic.
She was erratic. And then she had
been married to Sid Luft.
Yeah.
And that was a problem.
He's a producer, right?
He was her husband.
I don't know what he was.
And so he said, you're going to do the Judy show?
And he said, I want you to know, I was married to her.
I can tell her to do anything and whatever you want, I'll handle it.
Yeah.
And I said, no.
I said, let me explain.
You're her husband.
I'm her producer.
I will never come in your house.
Uh-huh. And that's where we started out.
And how long did you do her show?
I did six of them.
That was it?
Yeah.
And then Judy loved me, but the network thought I was not cooperative.
I mean, one of the things she sang, Old Man River.
And they said, she can't sing Old Man River.
I said, she can sing the Lord's Prayer.
She can sing anything she wants.
But they wanted a much more traditional variety show with guest stars.
And this was an event.
They said, well, it's just too intense.
It's too high energy.
So then they fired me.
They brought in Norman Jewison.
Norman Jewison came in and looked at the six shows I'd done.
He said, those are perfect.
That's exactly what I'd do.
But in the meantime, I was gone.
Got a lot of money.
And so then you started to realize that the suits didn't necessarily know everything.
I mean, did you always sort of know that?
You see, they're not the enemy.
That's jeopardy.
See, you can do something.
You can sit down at a typewriter and start from nothing and do something.
You can write.
You can read.
You can do.
And they don't have those skills. Right. So you've got to sell read you can do and and they don't they don't have those skills and uh and right so you've got to sell them on the idea
and they don't know anything and then like they'll put a a a a mental back what they'll do is okay so
this this sounds good this i don't want to interrupt you you have to sell them that it's
their idea right that's a big help right until it doesn't work and then they need someone to
blame so they got to make sure they've got a network of people to blame that's it that's a big help. Right, until it doesn't work and then they need someone to blame. So they've got to make sure
they've got a network of people to blame
that isn't taking a hit.
That's it, that's it.
You're the first one,
but then there's the guy,
the other producer,
that's a part of their team.
He's going down.
Yeah.
Right?
See, what do you want to do?
What do you want to do next?
Me?
Yeah, because this is a temporary thing with you.
I just acted on a Netflix show.
I know, a big hit, by the way.
Yeah, it seems to be. It's a
huge hit. Oh, good. Can you imagine
you with your background working with women wrestlers?
No. Sweet Jesus, help me.
A lot of women I worked with.
I know. It's all
a big surprise to me, George.
It shouldn't be a big surprise. You are
a force field of energy and enthusiasm
and fun. Yeah. And there's always a place
for that. I like the fun part.
You are fun.
You're having a good time.
I bring my girlfriend in, make sure she knows.
You could have a good time in an avalanche.
I mean, this is a- See, you know, I must be a good hustler if you're putting this on me.
I'm the guy that causes the avalanche, George.
There's a lot to be said for that.
That's why I'm having a good time.
What do you want to do next?
Because it's unlimited where you're going to go.
Well, you know, I'm taking a little break.
I just did a stand-up special.
I did the show for Netflix.
I'd kind of like to do a nice little part in a movie.
That'd be fun.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, just something that works for me that I could do.
Like, there's a few things.
I'd like to play some rock music.
My dreams are small, George.
Well, dream. Dream bigger.
You want to give me a lesson in empire building?
You know what I would do?
First of all, we're talking about doing a new Laugh-In.
And the time is right now because
the facilities are there, technology is there.
I've got no money, George.
You don't have money, you make money.
Okay. I thought you were pitching it to me.
No.
Make me think it's my idea.
Maybe I'll find some backers.
Hey, wait a minute.
Let me write that down.
No.
All right.
Take this, okay?
What?
People watch television now.
They don't watch it like we used to watch it.
No, they don't even watch it on television.
That's right.
They watch it on their cell phone.
Sure.
Right?
So you make it smaller?
You make the set smaller?
That's right.
We used to have,
I've got a 30-inch set,
now I've got a 2-inch set.
What happened?
I don't know.
People,
it takes less
to occupy people's mind.
See,
where is there nothing?
I mean,
there's nothing on
at 2 o'clock in the morning.
Oh, that's our market?
Yeah.
Yeah, but that's
beholden to time.
No one's beholden to time.
No, nobody cares about, if you do a show, all right, here, try this. Okay one's beholden to time. No, nobody cares about it.
If you do a show, all right, here, try this.
Okay.
We do a show at 2 o'clock in the morning.
There are no rules.
Nobody's watching.
Right.
But you tape it.
Your friends will tape it, and they'll run it in the morning.
Nobody sits down and watches television.
They're going to watch it the next day in sections.
By appointment, like we used to.
Sure.
8 o'clock was Dinah's show at 7 o'clock.
Now, nobody does it.
They tape it.
It doesn't matter what time it's on.
Right, exactly.
It matters when they watch it. So we do a show at 2 o'clock in the morning nobody does that. They tape. It doesn't matter what time it's on. It matters when they watch it.
So we do a show at 2 o'clock in the morning.
There are no rules, no interference, no money, but you don't need any money at 2 o'clock in the morning.
Right.
And you put that on, and then you do one show, and then you put on pieces of that every night.
And you do a show that airs every night, 2 o'clock in the morning.
And I guarantee you people would watch it.
Sure.
They would wait to hear what it was you said.
Yeah.
And they would see what you did and who you introduced.
Yeah.
There are people out there who are marvelous that are not on the air because there's no room.
Yeah.
Well, they are on the air.
They're just not on the air in any big way.
That's it.
What is the big way, George?
Where is this place that everybody's going to go?
It's this window.
Yeah.
The big way is the effect. If you can go it's a it's this window yeah the big the
big way is the effect if you can go on the air and do some political things political politics
is now the the new open window you can say anything and there Donald Trump's making it so
easy you don't even need a right be in the writers guild yeah all you have to do is quote him yeah
well what were some of the obstacles you had when creating the first laugh-in?
Oh, everything.
So how did Rowan and Martin get involved?
Because Timex wanted a host.
The show was designed without a host.
Rowan and Martin did one of the funniest nightclub acts ever.
Really?
So they wore tuxedos.
They were older.
You knew them?
Oh, very well.
From where did you see them in town?
My wife, Jolene, used to do the Ernie Kovacs show.
So I became very friendly with Ernie Kovacs.
He's another unappreciated genius.
Oh, he was.
You would have loved Ernie. He would have loved you, too.
He was a nice guy?
Oh, God, delight.
What was it like?
He was such an abstract thinker.
Yeah.
We used to argue all the time.
Yeah.
Because my whole life was punchlines.
And he never did a punchline.
I'd say, Ernie, you're so close to a joke.
It's a punchline.
He'd say, I don't want to do punchlines.
Who needs closure?
We would argue about this.
So one night he calls me.
He says, you've got to come over to the studio.
My wife, Julian, was doing his show.
And he'd tape at 2 o'clock in the morning, 3 o'clock.
So he says, you come over right now.
So I go over to the studio, and he's doing a commercial for a car.
And the car's on this raised stage. And Ernie says, you come over right now. So I go over to the studio, and he's doing a commercial for a car, and the car's on this raised stage, and Ernie says,
this wonderful automobile, and he hits the fender,
and it went through the floor.
And he says, now, is that a joke?
I said, yeah, Ernie, that's a joke, all right.
He just had to prove it to you.
That's right.
He did one thing to prove to me that he could do a punchline.
But when Ernie died, Edie Adams wanted to go to work,
and so I produced her nightclub act.
Yeah.
And we brought Ronan Martin in as the opening act.
Yeah.
And they did a very funny nightclub act.
It went on and on and on and on.
And so we put them in because NBC wanted to host
and Timex wanted to host.
And no one knew those guys?
Were they popular?
Yeah, they were a big-time nightclub act.
They were not television.
Vegas?
Vegas and Reno and whatever.
And they wore tuxedos, and they did the same act.
When they left stage, they never talked to each other
until the next night when they came back out on stage.
No kidding.
They didn't get along too well.
But anyhow, they were a great nightclub act.
So we put them in, and they would come in,
and they would do whatever it was they did.
And then they went on and on and on
because laughing was very staccato yeah so uh we would tape them then i brought in gary owens
gary do you know the announcer yeah yeah oh yeah i remember him from yeah i can see his face even
yeah and he uh he one day i'm in the men's room of the smokehouse and he says why george good evening
he said wow he said the acoustics i said gary that's wonderful that's what i want you to do
he said what put your thumb in your ear and the acoustics. I said, Gary, that's wonderful. That's what I want you to do.
He said, what?
Put your thumb in your ear and say later that same evening.
And he said, that's a job.
I said, it's a job.
So that's what Gary's job was.
Roy Martin would be talking and talking.
Was he a classic announcer? He was a radio announcer.
But he loved jokes.
And he would say later that same evening when we would cut out eight minutes of talk and
we'd be right back and go to the cocktail party.
Yeah.
And Rowan and Martin worked because they were older.
Yeah.
Dan was very straight.
Dick was silly.
Yeah.
And Dan was a hell of an actor, by the way.
So that was interesting.
So what you were able to do with that is sort of link the two culture, youth culture and
what was before.
So they appeared conservative in looks
and their age was the right age for the audience,
yet they were sort of at odds with the entire cast comedically.
Well, Dick went back and forth between the crazies and Dan.
Dan was straight.
Dan did a character that I loved.
He did General Bull Wright.
Yeah.
And he went, General Bull Wright here.
He said, you know, smoke him if you've got him.
Right.
And he said, while we were fooling around with this little war in Southeast Asia, we
need a big war.
What this country needs is an annual war.
He was a war freak.
Yeah.
And we put him on, espousing what the right was saying anyhow.
Yeah.
And they loved him because he was saying their message, and we loved him because it was anti-war.
Right.
So it worked both ways.
That's right.
And it worked because NBC had nothing to put on opposite Lucille Ball and Gunsmoke.
They were the number one in two shows.
And so we put it on at 8 o'clock Monday night.
There was no way to get a rating.
And we put it on.
And about the fourth show, Sammy came down the hall,
and we were fooling around with an actor
who used to be Pigmeat Markham.
Sammy Davis Jr.
Sammy Davis Jr.
Here comes the judge.
So I said, Sam, that's what we've got to do.
So he came in, 2 o'clock in the morning,
and we taped him going down the hall in a white wig.
Here comes the judge.
Well, we put that into the next show,
just dropped it in.
Here comes the judge.
It didn't have to make sense.
It was Sammy in a white wig.
And we put it on, and the next week, the next about three days later, after the show had aired, the people,
the Supreme Court justices came in and sat down on the bench. And as they came in the room,
somebody in the audience said, here come the judge. And the entire courtroom cracked up
because the judges didn't get a lot of laughs. They get them now, but they didn't get them then.
So it landed.
Yeah. And then everybody said, here comes the judge.
Didn't you have Pigmeat on the show too?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We dug him up.
Yeah.
Man.
Yeah.
See, what would happen is anything that was funny, we had Digby Wolfe on one side, and
then we had Paul Keyes, who was Nixon's closest friend on the other, and he was to the right
of right, you know?
These are writers?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But Digby was brilliant.
Digby had been with the Goon Show
and the Running, Jumping, Standing Still.
Digby was...
How many writers were on the show?
About, at that point, about 12.
Now, was it true that, you know,
in talking to people about the SNL lore,
that you guys would write at one place
and then they'd deliver the scripts
and you'd shoot it somewhere else
or were the writers on set?
Where do you get this stuff?
I'm not sure.
The writers were in the beautiful Toluca Capri Motel.
There were a group of people who were outcasts.
One of them had been a professor of political science
in Bemidji, Wisconsin.
Another one was a hopeless junkie, another drunk.
But they were funny.
How'd you find them? Just found funny. How'd you find them?
Just found them. How'd I find you?
This is an accident.
You're just wandering the neighborhood.
Where's my car? Am I in Beverly
Hills? And they, people that made
me laugh. Looked at
material. One of them was Don Rio, who's a big
writer today, big producer.
And we would bring them in, and
then Digby Wolf
would have these meetings and they would sit down they were right it was just a
vast amount of material we needed yeah and they would come in and do it then we
put it on stage and tape it how do you find the cast how who were the original
players Artie Johnson was selling clothes at the Carols and he was they
did voices yeah and he came over the house one one Easter morning dressed as
in the German and he was the Easter the house one Easter morning dressed as a German,
and he was the Easter Nazi, and he was putting Easter eggs.
And he was just funny.
He was outrageous.
That was the very interesting.
That's right.
They used to bring in a linguist once a week to listen to what Artie had said
to be sure it wasn't some foreign language.
And then Ruth Buzzy had been with Dom DeLuise.
What was that?
Were they a team?
Yeah, they did Shigundala.
What is that? It was an act they Yeah, they did Shigundala. What is that?
It was an act
they did with a magician
and Ruth Buzzy
who's one of the sweetest,
most talented women.
And she played
the lady with the purse.
That's right.
And then Joanne Worley.
Sure.
And Goldie,
of course,
walked in
and I said,
she was a dancer.
So I said,
well,
come in.
She said,
what am I going to do?
I said,
I don't have the slightest idea.
Goldie on.
Whatever you're going to do, we're going to get it wrong.
And she came in, and we never let her read.
We're going to get it wrong, because that's made her funny.
We never let her rehearse.
Goldie would, we never give her a script.
No, Goldie, you'll be fine.
She would do an introduction, and we would change the words
just to screw her up,
you know,
a delightful woman.
And of course,
and Lily,
Lily was a godsend.
Yeah.
Where'd you find her?
Lily Tomlin.
I'd seen her,
she was auditioning
for the Gary Moore show.
She was doing a tap dance
with taps taped
to the bottom
of her barefoot tap dance.
And I just loved it
and I could never find her.
What do you mean
you could never find her?
I could never because where are you going to find her?
Go looking for a barefoot tap dancer.
There weren't any.
And so then I saw her do a thing on a show that she did and it was a rubber freak.
It was a woman who ate rubber and she was a junkie for rubber and she was cured.
She went to the psychiatrist and knelt down to thank him and ate his galoshes.
And I said, I must have this woman.
So Lily came in.
Nobody auditioned for Laugh-In.
They came in, and I said, I like that.
And I hired her.
And what a delightful experience.
Like a circus.
It was a circus.
But it was a circus, and it was everybody having fun.
But you also had, I mean, Richard Dawson was on there.
Yes.
And he went on to Hogan's Heroes, and the other guy from Hogan's Heroes, too, right?
Larry Hovis.
Yeah, Larry Hovis.
We did a thing with Larry Hovis one night, and he said,
Today, I can't remember.
I have to think about it because it was the first successful transplant of a liver.
It was transfrated from Larry Oz.
Yeah.
So liver transplant.
We're off to see the liver, the wonderful liver of Oz.
And that was it?
Oh, yeah.
That was the bit?
That was the bit.
And Larry was brilliant and
henry gibson of course who was like sort of like a unique larry came yeah henry came in with the
poetry did a poem and i remember the poetry he did a poem and a backflip and i loved him
yeah and joanne worley i hired on the phone and that voice i said this is a wonderful with that
laugh yeah yeah it's so weird
because like i remember seeing this too young like i what was i was like seven years old six years
old and my parents would watch it and it was all those quick cutaways they added nowhere you watch
one show your parents watched another you saw the girls the bikinis and the trap doors and the water
well i got a kick out of yeah ruth buz Buzzy and the Nazi. No, I got it.
I got, like, you know, what was.
But there were jokes there you didn't get.
Of course. But you didn't have to, the color and everything.
Oh, yeah.
Your parents saw a different show.
And everybody's sort of swinging around.
I remember there's everyone sort of dancing in and out of things.
Let me ask you.
Is that true?
Should I do another one?
Yeah.
Who would you cast?
I'm thinking about it.
There are people out there who, the only show using these people is Saturday Night Live.
Right.
I mean, but there are people out there.
Tom, it's out here.
Yeah, there are tons.
Who grew up on.
Well, the question is, what would be the cultural signifier?
Because right then, you know, the 60s and the fashions of the 60s were being appropriated
by the mainstream.
Yeah.
So there was, you know, a sort of across the board new fashion.
Yeah.
And it was like kind of sexy and swingy and half hippie and half mod, you know.
And that grounded the whole show aesthetically.
How would you ground this show aesthetically now?
First thing I think I would do, right, is probably bring you in as an advisor.
Because first of all, you're crazy.
You are a little bit weird.
Yeah.
But you are tuned into the culture.
A little bit.
Yeah.
And we don't want to be at the center.
We want to be on the periphery of it.
We want to do things that nobody's doing.
Well, I think one of the things that you guys did that I think that could work, and I think it comes from the original Variety shows, is that there are definitely separate, you know, huge markets and bubbles of show
business.
Yes.
You know, there's pop and there, you know, musically, you know, there's very, they seem
very distinct to me.
And I think that's happening with, with acting and comedy and everything else that, you know,
because the market is fragmented so much that they're just like, you know, like you got
people that watch certain shows that don't know what else is going on that are very progressive.
Then you got people that watch certain shows that don't know what else is going on that are very progressive. Then you got people that are watching very mainstream shows.
But I think what the variety shows did to create the sense of community back in the day was you just cross pollinated with all these different things with ease.
Not like it's a freak show.
Like everybody sort of fit in under the bubble of show business.
Right.
under the bubble of show business, right?
Yeah.
So I think it really becomes about using these people that really don't interact much in the marketplace
to do these fun things.
And finding a way to piss them all off equally.
Okay.
And to then, because what you got offended with here,
you like there.
And if we can do that as a happening,
as a whirlpool of energy and fun
and laugh and without we we had no agenda other than just to be funny but you did want to i mean
but come on you had a little bit of an agenda oh yeah sure but you were never aware of it because
the next joke was so fast that you you never really understood what we'd said the last time
until it was too late now Now, Hart and Michael,
Lorne Michaels and Hart Pomerantz wrote for you briefly?
Yeah, they came in from Canada, and Lorne Martin loved him,
and NBC loved him because he was a sane voice
in this wilderness of tumult and trouble and fun and happenings.
Oh, really? He came out as the grounded guy?
Well, he came out kind of sane and quiet,
and he was with Dan and Dick.
Dan and Dick loved him.
So what do you mean, like, he's a good politician?
He just schmoozed.
He was great.
I wasn't.
Do you think that his experience with you influenced his history?
Oh, sure.
Oh, sure it did.
But then he went on to New York, and he did this show.
And let's face it, man, 40 years on the air,
that's a record, man.
Sure.
He did it.
And it started out as a variety show.
Yeah.
With a floating host.
And then he did The News, which is what we did.
Yeah.
And he did, I, God love him,
he's done a whole thing about reactivating late night television
or creating late night television.
Now, when you do these other gigs that you do, do you still do the comedy awards?
No, I stopped because it just got too, it wasn't that much.
The sitcoms were all about sex and the variety shows, it was just, it was a bad time.
You know, so now we may do it again now.
Too broad?
I mean, like how do you?
Well, no, it was just, it got kind of seedy, you know.
The monologues, the monologues were all dirty, and the sitcoms were all just sex, and there
was a whole period there where there was not political humor, and I wasn't having fun anymore.
Okay, where do you-
But I may do it.
I may do the comedy awards again, and I'm really seriously thinking about doing Laugh-
Well, how do you feel about the roasts coming back?
You like them?
Yeah, yeah, the roasts are great.
They did one last night with the, you know.
Oh, an in-house one at the Friars?
No, no, it was, but anyhow, it was a good show.
And it's great.
But it's a one-joke kind of a thing, you know.
Yeah, well, yeah, it's people shitting on a guy.
Yeah, yeah.
But the world out there, first of all, technically we can do so much more.
Research-wise, we have access to more information very quickly,
and the audience is there with nothing to do.
They've got this vast prairie of available entertainment, but there's no focus.
I like the idea of doing something with the pace of Laugh-In with what we have now, you
know, production-wise.
I think that one of the things that made Laugh-In interesting was that there was a tremendous
pace to it, but it all happened in real time.
And the other thing is there's a new breed out there.
Don't doubt. People working on the internet. You, what you what is this i mean i would come in here with a
camera there's a new there's a new arena out there we're not really taking advantage of yeah but i
know but i think that the show would have to be live i think that that's one of the never do it
live no not live on camera but live to take like i think that you know what i mean like you don't
want to you know start showing clips and you don't want to be real people you did real people yes i think that sort of started something
yes the reality television yeah first one and that did well for you huh very well we did 145 of those
that paid the mortgage i mean i've been very lucky i've gotten fired a lot you know i think
byron allen's still on TV is he
I think so
somewhere
he's always like
all of a sudden
you get a call
it's like Byron Allen
wants to do a show
he's like he's got a show
and he could go out
to some hangar somewhere
that's right
that's right
and then charge you
for parking
yeah exactly
but I forget
what it's called
Byron Allen
I love Byron
he was on
he did a Carson show
and I saw him
and I said this kid
we didn't have any black and we didn't have any young.
So we hired him to come in.
He was like 16, 17 years old.
Really?
And so we brought him in, and so I hired him to do some shows.
We had an ex-Green Beret producer, Bob Long.
And Bob Long, I sent him out with him,
and Bob Long calls me and says, we're going to kill him.
I said, what, Bob?
He said, he's having them carry his things.
He won't come on until we're ready to shoot.
He's talking about the Byron Allen T-shirts.
He said, we're going to kill him.
He's thinking big.
So I said, Byron, I went to a meeting.
He said, well, I'm not a β yes, you are.
Come in now.
So Byron came in and I said, Byron, you understand.
Half of the world hates you because you're young.
The other half of the world hates you because you're black.
I hate you because you're stupid. Now now we're not going to do that anymore and then he behaved himself and uh he went on and he went on and and his mother
is his manager yeah byron's a bright little guy yeah yeah no he works his angles and he's always
on television yes my point is is that like how point is, how much were you influenced by, it just dawned on me
that the pace of laughing
is sort of Marx Brothers-y.
My own, my own.
You like the Marx Brothers?
Yeah, I love them.
I did Groucho's last variety show.
How old was he?
Oh, he was very old.
Very old.
Oh, he seemed like a great guest at parties.
Oh yeah, I called him up,
I said, Groucho,
I said, Mr. Marx,
my name is George Slaughter.
He said, that's your problem. And I said uh we want you to do the bill cosby show he said who is he
and i said he's he's a comedian i never heard of him he said is there any money i said i said yeah
he said that's not enough i mean he just abused me on the phone some and he came in and said that's
your problem that's your problem and he was delightful oh god my
groucho macho stories go on and on and on oh that's so funny what i'm what i'm worried about
is is we've we've now become non-conformists like everybody else i mean there's there's a world
there's a new horizon out there with the technology with the subject matter with the
acceptability do you like what SNL is doing right now?
Some of it, yeah.
Some of it, I think it's too long, and it depends on the host entirely.
If we do Laugh-In again, I won't have a host.
I'll just have different stars come in and talk.
Really?
Yeah.
Why?
Who has to say, good evening, I'm your host?
The minute you do that, the whole show takes another thing.
say good evening i'm your host the minute you do that the show whole show takes another thing i guess but like that seemed to be the the anchor of the the original idea was to to find that that
somebody to move that through the original idea the cast is what makes it no i know no i get that
but but then it's just sketches you know it doesn't have to be. I mean, there's so many possibilities now that we don't explore
because we want to be a nonconformist like everybody else.
Another Saturday Night Live.
You don't need another Saturday Night Live.
No, I know that.
I know.
That's why I'm saying.
Well, what you need is a new form.
Well, I wouldn't, I guess.
I wouldn't do a musical number in a new show.
But you're saying that everyone's a nonconformist,
but it sounds to me that there's something about some of these older
structures that have been forgotten,
and that might work again. It would.
It would. If you took today's... But the no
host idea, I don't understand that. I don't know who the host
would be, but it would seem... I don't either.
Huh. The first thing I would do
would not be, who's going to be the host?
The cast is what made Laugh-In. Of course, of course.
Yes, but like the host, you know,
given their dynamics, sort of functioned as this strange straight man, even though they had their own.
Does it have to?
No.
Okay.
But I haven't seen that in a while.
Why?
Have you?
Yeah, because everything is host, host, host.
Who's going to be the host?
What do you mean?
Tell me a hosted variety show that isn't a talk show.
Well, yeah, go on.
There aren't any.
That's right.
So?
So it's time.
And now you tell me you don't want a host.
It's time for a new show that breaks all the rules.
When I do another laugh-in.
There are no rules to break.
That's right.
So, we conform to the non-rules.
When I do a new laugh-in, it won't have a host.
You're hurting my brain.
No, it would be good for you.
I would like, matter of fact, I would drag your sorry ass in there to do it.
Because you have the proper outrage and the proper awareness of what's going on in the culture.
Yeah.
Kind of.
No, you do.
You do.
You're super hip.
You were hip when the rest of the world was still hip.
Well, I'm curious.
I mean, like, I'm thinking about laughing and how exciting it was.
Yeah, it would be again.
It would be more now.
Yeah.
Because now you have access to the news.
There's a lot of characters around, dude.
There definitely is a lot of characters around.
That's right.
Why give that time to a host who's already famous and not give it to somebody else who's not?
No, you just have them there to anchor the thing.
Why?
Because then it just floats.
That's it.
Yeah, floats the right word.
Uh-huh.
You're making me feel like it's my idea.
You're doing it.
I can feel it happening.
I know.
I get all excited when I talk about coming out and doing another one.
We're talking about the success of that.
What are you talking about it to?
Well, Time Life had this.
That's still a thing?
Time Life? What are they? Because I sent you the collection. I have the collection. I know. That's from
Time Life? Yeah. Oh, look at that. That's it.
I just remember the books. You buy, you get
three for free, and then you get the rest for free.
No, it's a whole deal. You open that box, and you'll see
I'm not talking about the box. I'm talking about the old days when they
had the Time Life library. Yeah, well, no, but the old
days. I don't want you to talk about the old days anymore.
I want you to talk about the next thing.
Okay.
The next thing is what's going to happen,
and the next thing will take advantage of the fact
that you've got a computer here,
the fact that on your cell phone,
you can do a movie on your cell phone.
Yeah, this is the opening bit,
a guy that doesn't know where to watch something,
and nothing's working.
That's true, that's it, and that's the truth.
That's the truth.
People don't watch television anymore.
I know. I know. Look, I'm excited about it. So who's going to produce?
Well, that's another. Well, first of all, there are other producers out there.
Yeah.
You're doing some stuff right now that I could use as you do it. Put it on the air.
Yeah.
And I saw a kid the other day, unbelievable, just card tricks. You could take him and do funny card tricks with him, and just the visual of it would
be exciting.
Sure.
If you throw away all the rules, and you say, okay, we're not going to do the F word, and
we're not going to, whatever, but we're going to do political.
I mean, I think Sean Hannity's the funniest man on the air.
You want to use your Sean?
Oh, yeah.
I'd put Sean Hannity in him.
No, I'd do a tribute to Sean Hannity.
I mean, help me, Jesus. Yeah, I do a tribute to Sean Hannity. I mean, help me Jesus.
Yeah.
I mean.
He'd probably do it.
And Rush Limbaugh I would do.
Rush Limbaugh is, must be watched.
It's like an accident.
You're not proud that you saw it, but you had to see it.
Well, he's a showman.
There's no doubt that these guys have.
Oh, he's a clown.
He's a balloon buffoon, I call him.
Well, I mean, that's really what's at the core and what's, you know, the biggest joke
for people who run a little deeper than the people that think they're watching the news is that these guys are hucksters.
They're clowns.
They're show business people.
That's right.
That's right.
But nobody's.
Carnival show.
That's right.
P.T. Barnum's alive.
Yep.
Nobody.
He's in the White House.
I mean, when he's in the White House.
Come on, will you tell me, how does he get the hair that color?
I don't know, but I heard that whatever he's using is making him nuts.
He belongs in the home.
He really does.
He belongs in a silly city in a rubber room.
There's your open.
Trump in the home.
But he's our president.
I know.
I like her.
Of course you like her.
You want her to be a dancer on the new laughing?
Even more. I thought we were getting dirty. I would offer be a dancer on the new laughing even more
i thought we were dirty i would offer a shot on new laughing sure you would yeah you could
probably get that and i like the new son who doesn't remember meeting with the russians i
don't he remembers now well yeah oh i remember that now yeah how did that happen they just need
their memory jogged by uh by investigative reporters needs the memory jogged by us
it needs for us to come in there and do a caricature.
I'm understanding now the broad palette of your brain, and I like it.
I like what you're saying, and when I frame it in the context of the original laughing,
I kind of half see it.
Well, you'll see it.
There's no way to stop it because it must happen because of our national boredom.
There's no way to stop it because it must happen because of our national boredom.
But it's a very aggravated boredom in the sense that there's no shortage of shit to distract and engage, and yet you're still bored.
That's something other than boredom.
That's beyond boredom.
It's paralysis.
And you're only two degrees away from funny.
When you get all of that stuff you just mentioned a hell of a salesman when you get when you get past all the stuff you just mentioned yeah cue the audience and the
audience will be there waiting to laugh we're waiting to laugh at something that's how trump
got like you're offering me a job are you offering me a job yeah we may have to move this environment
a little you got to see the people see what this is? Some people know what it is. This is wonderful.
This could be one set on the new Laugh-In.
And you know what?
Yeah.
You got it.
You got it.
I don't think I can afford this many books and records and toys and things.
Yeah.
Take the new Laugh-In.
Put you in the new Laugh-In in this set, and I guarantee you, within two weeks, well, you are already famous.
What am I talking about?
I'd just be a bit, though.
You'd only use me for two-second shots of me saying like three things.
I don't need any.
I would only use anybody for two seconds.
Sock it to me.
No, no.
We would do more than that.
No, no, no, no, no.
But you want to do that pace again, don't you, where you just cut away to ridiculousness?
You would bring the necessary intellectual input into that show.
So I could be like a part of the brain.
See, because you're on the periphery of the establishment.
You're almost normal.
I'm definitely on the periphery of the establishment.
You're almost normal, but not.
No, no.
That's very promising for my world.
Don't tell anybody.
Don't tell anybody.
No, I wouldn't.
Who would believe it?
I know, right?
I'm having more damn fun than I've ever had with my clothes on.
Stop it.
You've had better times with better people?
Well, okay.
That was an easy sale.
Yeah.
No, we will do it.
We're going to do a new laugh-in.
We're going to do it.
I may do it.
See, what happens-
You're hiding something.
You've already talked to me.
I hide a lot.
Yeah.
Oh, sure.
You think I got here by the bus?
Everything I do is hiding something.
I didn't think you got here by the bus.
No, but the thing is-
I love that saying.
There's more stuff to be done that we're not doing.
I know.
All right, so we'll talk again.
This was good.
Please, let's do it.
No, no, no.
I'm going to watch the shows.
I don't know if this worked or not.
It worked for me because I had a good time.
Yeah, no, I had a good time.
And we will do it again.
Yeah, we're going to do Laugh-In, right?
I've got to tell you right now.
Yeah.
Right now, I will put you on the pilot, the first show for sure.
And we'll tape it in here.
On a phone?
No, not on a phone.
Because you have
more fun than people
are allowed to have with their clothes on.
I just had George Schwatter over. Do you know him?
I used to.
I knew he was this dude.
He didn't
come over here on a bus.
See, I dropped off some stuff here you may use i think the high point was uh uh my name is george schlatter that's your problem
i wish i knew groucho barx oh god it was funny it was funny he. He was. Always the brain was just popping, huh?
He brought his secretary with him.
Yeah.
And so she said, we taped some stuff with Groucho.
Yeah.
And I said, that's it.
She said, what do you mean that's it?
I said, well, we've got everything we need.
She said, you can't send him home now.
She said, I've got enough stuff in there to be up for three days.
And I said, she said, you can't send him home now. She said, I've got enough stuff in here. It'll be up for three days. And I said, she said, you can't send him home now.
So we went in, and Groucho was there.
She was in the dressing room naked, dancing, keeping Groucho's attention.
I mean, when I, see, I'm talking about writing a book,
but the problem is my life is so weird that nobody's going to believe a lot of it.
Well, just ask Cliff to hang out.
He'll write it with you.
Well, he's working on it.
He took some notes.
Yeah?
Yeah, he's a piece of work, isn't he?
Do you see him?
I talk to him, sure.
Yeah, I mean, when I started reading him,
I had him on this show,
because I thought his mind and his writing
needed to be out in the world,
and we just produced a series of podcasts with him.
Well, that's good, because he needs that window.
Yeah, no, I'm a big Cliff fan.
Because he fools you.
The way he looks and the way he writes and the way he researches, he fools you.
He is in it, man.
He lives in the rabbit hole of show business.
And he's the rabbit.
He is the rabbit.
There's no fucking doubt he's the rabbit i know
he's and he's having more fun than you're allowed to have oh good and the book is doing well it's
great we did we did a couple of personal appearances together oh good and i was not
invited back okay i think i think i may have been a bit disruptive that's all right he's going to
rotate all the guys that still remember the guys that he gives a shit about through.
There's only about eight left.
I know.
It's sad.
You?
Now, what are you doing the rest of today, or is this it?
I talked to you, and then I'm actually going to go play guitar with some guys for the first time ever.
I've always wanted to play with some-
Their first time or your first time?
Well, I mean, I like to play, and I never get together with guys to play, so i'm gonna go try it is that your guitar there no that's a thing that's an old guitar that
i keep in here and sometimes people pick it up it's i'm not going to do that no i know i used
to play clarinet so it's not going to sound good it was funny though because i played it upside
down no you didn't what you did not play it upside down. I know. That was a silly thing to say, but I wish I hadn't said it.
So, George.
Now I've lost your respect.
Not at all.
Not at all.
You didn't come here on the bus.
They can't all be zircons, you know.
Zircons.
That's the tag for the new laughing.
They can't all be zircons.
All right.
We'll talk again.
I've got a lot more trivia waiting for our next appearance.
Okay, buddy.
This was fun.
It was.
All right, folks, that's it.
Am I doing a show with George Watter?
Is that what happened there?
I can't tell.
Let me know.
Don't forget to preorder our new book, Waiting for the Punch.
And when you do, use your proof of purchase to enter our podcast fan sweepstakes you can win a king-size mattress from casper or a three-piece luggage set from away
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and that's going to make some major sonic mush. Thank you. ΒΆΒΆ Boomer lives!
Yeah. Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis
marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category.
And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to
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