WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 849 - Pete Davidson

Episode Date: September 24, 2017

Saturday Night Live's "Resident Young Person" Pete Davidson might be the only member of the SNL cast who knew about the show exclusively through YouTube clips. Pete tells Marc how he landed the show just shortly after graduating high school, how he survived a lonely upbringing on Staten Island watching Eddie Murphy's standup concerts, and how a life-changing traumatic event in his childhood pushed him toward comedy in the first place. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Death is in our air. This year's most anticipated series, FX's Shogun, only on Disney+. We live and we die. We control nothing beyond that. An epic saga based on the global best-selling novel by James Clavel. To show your true heart is to risk your life.

When I die here, you'll never leave Japan alive. FX's Shogun, a new original series streaming February 27th, exclusively on Disney Plus. 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing with cannabis legalization. It's a brand new challenging marketing category.

legalization. It's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Lock the gates! store and a cast creative all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fucking nears what the fuck fuckadelics? What the fuck, Knicks? What's happening?

I'm Mark Maron. This is my podcast. So I'm excited to tell you that we're setting up some live events for the release of Waiting for the Punch, Words to Live By from the WTF podcast. All right, here we go. New York City. I will be at the Barnes and Noble at Union Square Tuesday evening, October 10th at 7 p.m.

That's the day the book comes out. So come by, hear me and Brendan do our thing. Get a signed copy of the book. It'll be great. Then San Francisco, come see us as part of Litquake. We'll be at the new Mission Alamo Drafthouse. Same deal. We'll talk.

We'll answer questions. We'll sign books. Go to Litquake.org for tickets to that one. And we'll be announcing other events soon. Don't forget to pre-order your copy of the book, which now lets you enter the sweepstakes to win a Casper mattress or a luggage set from Away. Go to MarkMaronBook.com to pre-order and enter. Also, the new cat mugs are in.

If you want to get a cat mug just like the ones I give to my guests, there's a new batch available from our mug guy brian jones they're available now go to brian r jones.com to get your mug a very fine gift idea as well you want a cat update i can do that monkey is fine he's a little beat up he's i gotta cut buster's nails because buster's beating up on Monkey and scabbing him up a bit. The old guy's taking some hits. Don't really know what to do about it. I squirt the little fucker with the water, but now he's taken to that.

So there comes a point where you have very little power over the insanity of a crazy cat. La Fonda's fine. He doesn't fuck with LaFonda because LaFonda's a tough little fucker. The outdoor guys are fine. Big Head seems to be coming around. I got no validation. I think I brought it up to you people once before.

He's still got his balls and his head is enormous. Are those connected somehow? Sarah the Painter seems to think so i'll believe her but i'd like to know more if you if you want to reach out let it be about the existence of balls on cats and their relation to the jowls of cats who want to fuck angry too um he's fine he's out front see him occasionally. So that's what's happening. Sometimes these days where I got to talk, I don't always know what to say, but I did get an interesting email. Subject line, Harry Dean Stanton, did he actually reveal more than you

thought? I do not publicly express my feelings, as I've said, about my interviews anymore. We reposted that Harry Dean Stanton with the original intro. And that was one of the last times I really did that in terms of reflecting on the conversation. And this guy just said, Hello, Mark. I'm a clinical psychologist and new to your podcast. And I listened with interest to your interview with Harry Dean Stanton. A great loss. Maybe I'm missing the point.

And it was a journalistic device, but I thought you might have got a lot more out of Harry Dean Stanton than you thought. I think he told you what his underlying pain was. He told you that he always thought his mom loved his brother more than him. You can imagine what that would be like for a person that your mom didn't love you.

He then told you that he wasn't sure whether his mom had ever seen any of his films. You can imagine what that is like for a person that your mom didn't love you he then told you that he wasn't sure whether his mom had ever seen any of his films you can imagine what that is like for a successful actor and son and he also told you about the broken heart which he mended and sent back to his mom towards the end of her life was he being metaphorical either way a symbolic gesture anyway get in touch if you would like to explore this further best wishes and keep up the good work. I don't consider myself a psychiatrist or a therapist or even a journalist,

but sometimes I don't, you know, I can't put everything together when I'm sitting there listening to it, when I'm sitting there in the moment, in the present, talking and thinking and engaging. Not until afterwards can I do that. And then a lot of times

I don't listen to these things afterwards. I don't listen to the conversations. Brendan listens to them because he's the one that puts the show together. But after I have them, I don't. So that was encouraging and nice to hear that professional in the mental health business or a professional at somebody making connections, which I do in the present, but he was hard for me, made those connections. So I don't know. I'm not tooting my own horn. I wasn't there to excavate, you know, Harry Dean's, you know, psyche. I was just there to have a conversation, which I, as I've said, I was a little tricky for me.

But it was nice that that was put into perspective and context and now and now i feel better about it that's a that's a good psychologist i should get in touch with that guy to see on a regular basis i wonder what city he's in because he just made me feel okay about what i do and am i insecurities and and maybe i shouldn't have them in relation to that, which I don't occasionally. I'll tell you, though, man, without the nicotine, without the caffeine and the coffee form, without, you know, I am a little raw. Did I mention that I have Pete Davidson on the show today? What a great guy.

What a great kid. Can I say that? Great kid, that Pete Davidson. I can say that without being condescending compared to me he's a kid he that was a that was a that that's a hell of a talk we had it's coming up here in a second oh there's another thing while back it must be years ago already i had one of my favorite illustrators on drew friedman he is a i would call him a satirist he's done several books uh uh and he's done amazing portraits of people they're very disturbing and compelling he's done a series of old jewish comics books he's done he drew's got a lot of books out but nonetheless he did that

portrait of me and a while back and that that in and of itself was an honor. But he has put the portrait of me in his new book called Chosen People. Drew Friedman's Chosen People. I am in the company of Frank Zappa, Howlin' Wolf, Muddy Waters, S. Clay Wilson, Jeff Ross uh comic artist chris ware um oliver stone barbara streisand who else is in here so kimmel's in here too a lot of old comics a lot of interesting choices i'll tell you that but um thrilled and honored to be a part of the collection just telling you just He's got a picture of his dad in there. The brilliant, dark writer, Bruce J. Friedman.

So, anyways, not a paid-for plug, but I just wanted to put it out there that I am definitely honored to be part of that collection. It's one thing meeting your heroes. It's another thing to be drawn by one of your heroes. And then yet another thing to be put in his book. Right? That's right pete davidson got pretty real with me here and i really love talking to him he is he's a sweet kid can i say that it's not not an insult pete you're a good kid you're good i like you're a good kid he's a grown man but uh he is part of the 43rd season of Saturday Night Live, which premieres September 30th on NBC with host Ryan Gosling and musical guest Jay-Z. And this is me talking to Pete

Davidson in the garage. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats, but meatballs and mozzarella balls. Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost and mozzarella balls. Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details.

Death is in our air. This year's most anticipated series, FX's Shogun, only on Disney+. We live and we die. We control nothing beyond that. An epic saga based on the global bestselling novel by James Clavel. To show your true heart is to risk your life. When I die here, you'll never leave Japan alive. FX's Shogun, a new original series

streaming February 27th exclusively on Disney+. 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. I am always amazed when people my age still smoke. God bless them. Yeah. There's no way after a certain point with cigarettes where you don't feel like this is just killing me. No, yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. Usually when I'm at night when you're watching TV and you're laying on your back and you're wheezing. No, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Usually when I'm at, like at night when you're watching TV and you're laying on your back and you're like wheezing. Yeah, yeah. And then for some reason

it doesn't go away unless you smoke another cigarette. Oh, God. So are you going back and forth on the vape to the thing? I quit cigs for like three months and then like I had one. With nothing though?

You quit with nothing? I was doing the vape. Oh, you were doing the vape. So you weren't off the nicotine. No, I wasn't off the nicotine. But I had one. With nothing, though? You quit with nothing? I was doing the vape. Oh, you were doing the vape. So you weren't off the nicotine. No, I wasn't off the nicotine. But I had one at work. And then I was like, you know what? I'll just have another one.

It's over. Once you have one, it really is over. You got the thing, though, then. You got the bug. Oh, yeah. I do everything to the most extreme. Yeah, and you're just like, there's no... Right.

If I think about drinking again, there's no sort of like, man, you just have a beer here and there. back in there oh fuck yeah man when i think about having a beer i'm like why not do that every day right wait why would you not do it every day right weed same thing why would i not do it every day why not i know that's the way the brain works so i just have to like i get my stuff done yeah right you know kind of but like we can do that because i know we do this yeah we've got a little more space but then you start to, I get my stuff done. Yeah, right. Kind of. But we can do that because we do this. Yeah, you got a little more space. But then you start to wonder, it's like, am I doing all the stuff I could be doing?

Eventually with weed though, I don't know what your experience was with it. My brain is very active and my perception, I feel good and everything. But I don't know. I start to feel like I'm detached from from real life you know like from like you know you wake up you're like i don't know if i'm still high am i still high and then you get high and you're always like one step to the side of everything which is nice yeah if you want to observe like that but sometimes you just want to be like on right yeah and you can't because you're like stuck yeah for like days yeah exactly I used to smoke weed every single day, all day for eight years. Eight years.

Until like last year. When did you start that? How old are you now? I am 23. Oh, so you're young. So when you were like in 15 or something? Yeah, I was like 16 and I started smoking weed because I just didn't have any friends. And then I got invited to this party because I lived around the corner.

Yeah. And I was like actually around when the person invited another person. And I've never been invited before. So I was just like, fuck it. I'm going to go. And they were all like 20 years old. And I was like 16. And they were smoking weed.

And I was like, I became their little man. Yeah, yeah. And I hung out with them for a while. It's like getting the cat stoned. Yeah, it's how I made friends. Let's get Pete stoned.oned yeah that's how i made friends let's get pete stoned yeah that's funny man that's the worst feeling when you kind of get invited to something just because you're there yeah hey you want to come uh yeah yeah you can yeah yeah when i was

like 16 i'd never been invited before i was like fuck it yeah i'm gonna go and then i got caught when i got home uh because I was wearing sunglasses. Oh, yeah. There's a giveaway. Yeah. At 10 o'clock at night. When you're a teenager, you come home wearing sunglasses. Yeah, I came home wearing sunglasses. You're almost like asking.

Yeah. You're like advertising. Who caught you? Your mom? Yeah. So, like, let's get, I don't know the whole history of you. Where'd you grow up? I grew up in Staten Island, New York.

See, that's, like, like you gotta tell me some shit about staten island okay it's a terrible place mark it's no like everybody thinks i'm joking when i'm just because that's not that's the reputation it gets you're not surprising anybody nobody's saying like oh my god i thought staten island was a vacation island here's the this is what i told my girlfriend this the other day i kind of guys are together still we're together okay good yeah all right and uh i had like this realization um i was because like i always thought there was something the other day. You guys are together still? We're together. Okay, good. Yeah. All right. And I had like this realization. I was because like, I always thought there was something wrong with me. Right. My whole entire life. I was like, I have no friends. You know, I've been to like three

different schools. Everybody hates me. Everybody hates me. Nobody likes me. So it has to be me. Right. And then I left Staten Island and I was like, it was literally everybody else. Really? It was everybody else. So you mean everyone hated staten island no i just think i i just think it was a bad place oh i just think like i always thought there was something wrong there is something wrong with me but like i was like it can't be everybody right like every single person hates me for so it was unique to staten island that everybody didn't like you yeah yeah like everybody there's a trump person yeah pretty like pretty much right it's the only red place in new york well my feeling of it was the only other guy i know from staten island is eddie pepitone yeah and uh you know when i was in new york you know you know of course everyone knows

the dump is there yeah but then there was like this you know you just thought like well a lot of like mafia there and there's a lot of cops there it was this weird place where it was just sort of like just like you know you know criminals and cops and just you know alpha monsters roaming the streets yeah with the dump in the background but who are the people why were you there was your family from there my whole family was born and raised your grandparents yeah very well they moved to jersey like later on like in their 50s to get out everybody was jersey that's how bad staten island is to get out you go to jersey that's like the dream of a staten island family like one day we'll retire to the shore yeah and move to jersey yeah yeah well i can you know jersey's nice i can't badmouth jersey i've grown

because it is part of my past and my grandparents are there i spent a lot of my childhood there and yeah me too and it's nice i mean it's like you know it's very green it's very lush there was good fruit i remember maybe that was just my grandparents there's always a lot of fruit around no not my not your family no a very very unhealthy family well did uh did they have stories of when staten island was great i don't know what they loved it everybody from staten island that's lived there and still lives there seems to love it i guess it's a like-minded thing yeah like my friends like like my group of like people yeah like my age group yeah are the first ones i think to start to realize that it kind of sucks because

i was you're the generation yeah i remember being i'm like once everyone got pictures of other places yeah once the internet happened you're like oh look no yeah what's like i think it finally this like trump thing i think really fucked everybody oh yeah yeah i think it really like separated a lot of families and oh yeah yeah? People look at people differently. Oh, yeah? Yeah, on an intellectual type thing. Well, I'm not sure what it's going to take to get people to turn on this guy, but some people are.

It's ridiculous. Yeah. The whole family. Or is it commitment to, like, well, I think those type of New Yorkers, I don't know, they'll let him off the hook for everything because they like his attitude. Right. It's a very specific type of New York bigot. No, yeah.

My family's the type of people that are like, oh, he's hilarious. Right. Right. Right. And also they're like, fuck them. Yeah. They're like, no, no, yeah, fuck them.

Yeah. They like it. Yeah. I think it's exciting. Right. It's got nothing to do with policy or lying or- It's all swag. Yeah.

It's swag and bigotry. Right. And there's definitely a certain type of like Queens, I imagine Staten Island racist guy that everyone knows. Yeah. So he's like most of those people of that generation. He speaks to them. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's an old New York type. It's just, I'm just sort of surprised at, what surprised me most about him is just how the sort of right wing Christians have latched on to him because this is their window. So they're like, we'll make a deal with literally Satan. Right. To meet our agenda. I've never met. I've never seen a more satanic guy, just a charming guy that never speaks a word of truth.

And, you know know he's completely morally bankrupt and people are like i love this guy yeah it's insane that's it's the devil it's to the point where i don't even know what to say about it anymore it's hard to talk about just it keeps going that's part of the plan though to get us all exhausted and frightened it's terrible it's working i can't think about anything else you can't just shove down your throat you keep it you keep looking at the phone? I just keep looking at it. I'm just reading articles all day about something I can't do anything about.

That's right, the powerlessness. I can't change anything, but I'm so infatuated with all this information. It's hard to filter because a lot of times it's the same article taken on by a bunch of different angles. Then there's opinion pieces where I'm like, is this a real article? Oh, it's someone's point of view. okay like i have to differentiate because you just go by the clickbait you just go by the headlines you're like oh oh fuck yeah so staten island so you're there you're there in the in the weird darkness of staten island yeah and you know you're so when you were growing up what'd your mom do what your dad was in the was in the fire

department when you were a kid? Yeah, my dad was a fireman and my mom was a nurse. Very typical Staten Island type of girl. And she worked at the hospital in Staten Island? She worked at the hospital in Staten Island. Is she a nice lady? She's a sweet lady. Oh, good.

My mom's the best. Okay, good. Yeah, she's a very, very nice lady. I don't like knowing that nurses are monsters. No. No, there's good people in Staten Island. It's just the whole- The vibe.

The vibe and the aura of it is pretty awful. Something just seems off. It's so close to the museums. Like, right, like, you know when The Walking Dead first starts, and you go outside, and you look around, and it's just very desolate. Yeah. It feels exactly like that every time I get over the bridge. And you know the dead people.

Yeah. You know, like, oh, there he is, the kid I went to high school with. Still at the pizza place, still, like, 25 years old, still like, what's up, pussy? Yeah. Oh, fucking come back home.

They're all still like that. Yeah. What do you think is gonna happen? Staten Island is filled with people who peaked in high school. Right. That's what it is. It's still, like,

this 17-year-old macho mentality that they carry through the rest yeah i fucked that girl made gave a got her pregnant yeah and they're like proud right right everybody has babies when they're like 19 and they start a family and then they make those people like that like them yeah they're exactly and that's why it keeps getting worse most people haven't let that are born there don't leave like they never go to the city island people are weird like going to the city the first time i went was like, what the fuck is this place? This is insane.

People selling hot dogs on the street, you know? How old were you? I was fucking, like, 14 years old. The fuck? You were 14? I mean, I went to the city, like, once or, like, twice to see the tree or whatever. But, like, you know, that doesn't, it just feels like a mom-type trip. Right, but as a separate kind of

person i went by myself i fucking flipped out it was the craziest thing that's ever happened i can't believe it was that long no it was incredible 14 yeah oh my it's like you were like uh in prison yeah i've never been to manhattan i've been like brooklyn and like staten island but that's pretty much it what because you have family in jersey my dad worked in brooklyn heights that was where the firehouse was. Oh, so every day he had to go over there? Yeah. So when you were a kid, did you go to the firehouse and shit?

I went a bunch. Yeah. I really liked the firehouse. I thought it was really cool. And it was also like, you know, it was cool. You get to go down the pole. And firehouses in New York are spectacular. Yeah.

They're just so glorious. It's really cool. And they're like little heroes. You know, everybody loves fire are spectacular. Yeah. They're just so glorious. It's really cool. And they're like little heroes. Mm-hmm. You know, everybody loves firemen. Yep. Yeah. There's that one that used to, there's one down by the old, on 3rd Street, you know,

that used to be right next to the Boston Comedy Club that I think that Anderson Cooper made into a condo. And then there's that one, there's that one right on like, right on, like at 3rd and Bowery. There's a big, beautiful one. It's one of my favorite buildings in New York. Oh, yeah, the ones down there are really nice. They're just glorious. I mean, they're really old, I think.

Yeah. So your dad was a fireman. Now, I guess most people know what happened, but what happened? So he died 9-11. Oh, right, so planes flew into buildings. So a plane flew into a building yeah right right and then uh they were actually the first truck over the bridge because

your dad's truck was because it was right next to the world trade center yeah because of brooklyn heights and right yeah right right right so they were like one of the first people there and then the whole pretty much the whole firehouse was gone. And how old were you? Seven. So you knew all these guys? Yeah. Like you'd go to the station house? Yeah, they were like my friends. Yeah. You know, I was there all the time.

So fucking awful, dude. Yeah, it was pretty rough. It's still a little rough. Yeah. I don't know that you ever really fully get over something like that. So like you're seven, so you can barely process what happened. Yeah, all I knew was everybody started getting picked up from school. Yeah.

For, like. In Staten Island. In Staten Island. Yeah. You know? And my dad worked, and my mom was working. So, like, I was, like, one of the last people to get picked up. Yeah.

Who picked you up? My mom picked me up. Yeah. And then I just went to, I think, my mom's cousin's house. And then she was like, you're not allowed to watch TV. She's like, no TV for you. So, I thought I was in trouble. Yeah. I didn't know, like, what mom's cousin's house. And then she was like, you're not allowed to watch TV. She's like, no TV for you. So I thought I was in trouble. Yeah.

I didn't know what was going on. Yeah. And she probably didn't quite know either, right? No, nobody really knew until like a week or so. But by the time you got picked up, both towers had fallen? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. What a fucking time. So nobody was telling us what was going on.

You're just a bunch of kids in a room? We were just like, school's done. And we were all like, awesome. Let's get out of here. Yeah. You know? I didn't really find out. I was just like, eventually, like a day or two went by, from what I can remember.

And I was like, where's dad? Right. And she had to explain. And my parents just got divorced at that point, like six months ago. So you'd just been through that hell? So it was just really rough then. And then it started to look like it was starting to get used to both sides and then that happened and then like you know my mom was like if he comes home we'll get back together it was oh really yeah it was fucked up it wasn't really cool and my sister was three so

like it was like oh my god so so your mom said like you know to sort of buffer it yeah she said if he comes back we'll get back together. Yeah. Though hope was slim. Yeah. She was probably deep in her mind like, don't fucking be alive. I don't want to get back together. Oh, God. No, no, no.

No, yeah. It was very. What were they like together? Do you remember? From what I can remember, I was, so I have like a year maybe of memories. Yeah. I remember it in pictures. I remember a happy family.

Sure. I remember once in a while, I would remember them fighting and i remember like hiding under my bed yeah maybe like a handful of times right um and then i just remember them being like hey we're not going to live together anymore and i was like okay yeah you know so i don't really was he close by uh yeah he wasn't too far away yeah but that so that happened like a few months before the the horrible thing that probably happened, I would say, nine months at the most. I don't remember. So when your mom tells you this, that they're looking, is that what she said?

That they're still looking for people? How does she frame it? Right. She was like, yeah, we don't know. He could be under something. Oh, right. Oh, that's right. At this point, we're just like, because they haven't found, they didn't find, they had

a rough time finding people. Yeah, right. There was weeks of that. Yeah. Maybe there's still people alive in the wreckage. Yeah. So there was a rumor that he was... There's a hotel in there or some sort of a lobby there.

Right. And he was allegedly seen helping a bellhop and a group of people. Oh, right. I don't know if it was a bellhop. Some sort of a bellhop type guy. Yeah. So we thought maybe he was trapped in a kitchen. It was food everywhere and

like right right he's just chilling yeah you make up a lot of shit when you're a kid yeah so so then when did it really sort of like uh sink in i don't a lot of it i don't remember but i know it was like probably a week or two where we were just like everybody you know devastated yeah and then like and here's how shitty staten island kids are yeah i still got picked on like the next day and they knew yeah did they pick on you with that no oh but it was just still mean just still like fuck this kid like yeah i actually had one kid be like he actually became my friend for a little bit um and he was like uh i'm inviting you over because my mom told me to. Because your dad died.

That's how he put it? It was in third grade. I was like, okay. I'll see you Friday after school. That's fucking heartbreaking. It was fucking awful. Why did they pick on you to begin with? What was your particular vulnerability that they all decided to bully you? I was funny looking.

Yeah. I used to rip my hair out of my head. Before or after? yeah so you know i had when i'm fourth grade i was like bald i looked like i had you know from ripping your hair out ripped all my hair out do you know what compelled you to do that i don't know it's just like a tick after that happened i just couldn't stop really rolling and ripping my hair out what else what other things happen like physically um i don't you don't remember i was i know i was in therapy like the you know i was in therapy a few months before it happened because of the divorce family thing yeah and then it just like i just

continued with the same guy uh same lady and then just like when that happened since all the kids were so young i think like a lot of like one time this these doctors from like columbia like came over my house and like interviewed me and i think they were doing like a lot of like research maybe studying this studying the 9-11 kids yeah and they would ask me like really fucked up questions they would like be like do you think your dad's alive though like do you think he's like out there yeah with that tone yeah yeah like and i'm like no if he is he's a dick if he's fucking hanging out there yeah yeah not coming home but like yeah it was like a lot of like i would go to like cornell really they flew like a bunch of kids i didn't

i assume i know i had a really rough time i don't know however anybody else really handled it but like i would have to go all the way to the city to do that. Yeah. So it was- Were there other kids in your neighborhood that lost their parents? No, I didn't really know anybody until there was this 9-11 camp that they had. Get out.

It was called America's Camp. Really? It was a camp for all the children who lost a parent. Really? It was fucking awesome, dude. It was sick. Like the year after or when? Maybe two years after they started it

or a year after. Right. And then it went for like until everybody turned like 17. So you go every year? I went for five years. I think my mom waited like two or three years to see because she was too like scared to send me.

But then once you went and it was like just all these kids that are all pretty much the same age well that's sort of like amazing it's incredible it was incredible it was a really good time in my life and i have a lot of good memories from that and all the counselors they come from all over the world so like people from like ireland wales really welsh people and like people from england like hardly any like amer. How many kids? It was probably like maybe two, 300 in the camp. Really?

I'm pretty sure. That's like a beautiful thing. Yeah. And then like my sister started going because she got old enough and then we went together. Yeah. It was really, really sweet. And it was just a regular camp? Did any of you guys, the kids talk about it?

I mean, was there any, like, did they, I mean, it was sort of hanging over the camp. You all knew why you were there kids talk about it i mean was there any like did they i mean it was sort of hanging over the camp you all knew why we all knew why we were there but like i think like one of the main rules was like don't yeah like yeah like shaking like something in your face like here's ice cream or whatever so like but there would be like moments where like uh at the end of the camp like last night where they have like campfire or whatever uh-huh and they're like you know why we're all here and they have like very nice like poems and people read stuff and they have like taylor swift performed at our camp really but she was like 15 right whatever like so they got people to come and play and it was really it was really nice oh that's a beautiful it could have been the worst fucking thing ever yeah if it could have

been really bad. Yeah, I guess it was really a matter of how it was run. I mean, you know, how could it have been bad if everybody was just miserable? But you're kids. Yeah, I think they did a really good job at distracting people. And they also had this room called the Volcano Room, which was just a bunch of punching bags. Really? You could smash stuff and break walls. Was that popular? called like the volcano room yeah which is just like a bunch of punching bags and like really

like smash stuff and like break walls and like and was that popular yeah it was very popular it was uh it was a lot it was always like it'd be funny like kayaking they'd be like anybody want to go we have 10 places yeah like volcano room will be sold out to like thursday like a line around the corner go hit shit yeah oh that's fucking beautiful so boys and girls all ages i guess up to what 16 17 up to 16 17 and then if you turn 16 17 you become a counselor but you didn't do that uh i did for like a year oh yeah yeah for like one of the last years and how how did your sister how does this does your sister have any memories of this stuff did she process it differently than you i don't think she knows who the dude is, to be honest with you.

Right, right. But it definitely affects her, but I don't know if, like, me and my sister aren't really, like, the closest. Right. You know, like, since, like, I moved out and, like, we're kind of at that, she's in college, I'm doing this type thing. What's her four-year difference? Four-year difference.

So, you know, we talk about it, obviously makes her sad, but I don't know if it like, if she, it's worse for her or, or better. Right. I don't know. I could see like the positives to both sides.

To not, yeah. Cause you have a little bit of a memory. Personally, I would like to not know. Right. I wish I was in her position. Like you didn't know the guys at the firehouse.

Yeah. You didn't know, you know, your dad. Yeah. Yeah. I would like to just start, no dad. Right. I wish I was in her position. Like you didn't know the guys at the firehouse. Yeah. You didn't know, you know, your dad. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I would like to just start No Dad.

Yeah. I would love to do that instead of watching, because that kind of taught me what like death is. Yeah. And like too young in a way. Yeah, that life could just be taken,

you know, like usually you get to high school, a couple of kids, you know, kill themselves in their garage. Yeah, right. You know, car accident.

Yeah, car accident. You kind of like. Grandparent dies. Yeah, you start like realize, you're like, oh, okay, we're their garage. Yeah, right. You know. Car accident. Yeah, car accident. You kind of like. Grandparent dies. Yeah, you start like realizing, you're like, oh, okay, we're not invincible. Right, right. But like right out the fucking gate. And something that global. Yeah.

And that horrible. It was at a time the biggest tragedy that's ever happened. It still is in a lot of ways. Yeah. You know, it's completely. It's definitely top three. Yeah. Yeah.

It's right up there. Us tragedy people, we fight about it all the time at our meetings. But, you know, it's astounding. That camp story is just beautiful. I wonder whose idea that was. Do you know? I don't know exactly whose idea it was. Where was it?

It was in Massachusetts on like a lake. Like a real camp went there yeah and uh yeah it was what for like two weeks four weeks it was a week a week a week yeah it's phenomenal and like all these people from all over the world so you're seeing you know like a global community around that it's just this whole group just and every every counselor was just like incredible and like so sweet and like there was no problems it was really that's a great story yeah so like as you go so you're doing the camp every summer but you know you're still in high school and you're still getting shit and then you know what what's playing out for you in high school around in retrospect that you can

attach to you know the the tragedy how am i doing in school well yeah i'm acting out a lot in elementary school i acted out a lot i was like a known as like a crazy kid you know people would laugh at me and with me yeah like i would i was a dude that would make someone laugh and then keep hammering away at the same thing and then not stopping and then everyone stops and then everyone eventually is like dude we're trying to like study like you fucking like chill yeah yeah so yeah i it was like and then when i got to high school i kind of was like quiet and i started doing like these videos for uh the news channel in the morning for the school i used to film the football team and then make like a highlight tape with like music in the background straight up yeah no funny no no funny right like just like hits yeah you know sync the music to the hits like

so you learn and yeah i was having fun and people were like these videos are incredible but nobody knew who i was right and then once people found out who it was they didn't like me why i don't know i don't it must have been my fault there must have been something that i was doing because like i can't explain to you like the the just the resentment like i don't know what it was i really don't i mean like i was i like probably annoying yes was i acting out yes but i wasn't like a mean person or like you're probably kind of like i i think that from acting out after a certain point there's an annoying element to it. But then you realize the person's probably fundamentally insecure, needs attention, is looking for something.

So why not bully that kid? Yeah, I don't know. I bet, obviously, I'm the person you invite somewhere and you avoid at that time. But you get invited. I had one friend. We wouldn't go out. We weren't invited places. We would just sleep over each other's houses and watch TV and movies. How's that kid doing? I had one friend. We wouldn't go out. We weren't invited places.

We would just sleep over each other's houses and watch TV and movies. How's that kid doing? He's good. Oh, good. I don't talk to him much, but we're still friendly. Oh, good. He's very supportive and very nice. Yeah.

So when do you take the step to perform, to actually perform, as opposed to just acting out, acting out to act out with a context well i was always a huge fan of comedy like i saw eddie murphy delirious when i was like 10 on the video i got a dvd and my mom thought it was an eddie murphy movie and we used to have like a one in the car yeah it was like tahos that have sure so we were playing it and she was obviously flipping out right with the language and everything but she was cool when she was like you could watch it like at home or just like not around your sister and she was obviously flipping out. Right, with the language and everything. But she was cool and she was like, you can watch it at home. Just like not around your sister. And I was like tense. I was like, oh, fuck. All right, cool.

So I got very into. So she gave you a little longer leash. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Kid's been through a lot. Yeah. Let him watch the dirty black guy. And that planted the seed yeah then i just became like obsessed and i've it was to the point where i could do the whole special oh really yeah and then dane cook came out yeah and

i was like 13 14 and that was the that was the space that was the time that was like the time i've never even heard of like a comedian, like albums coming out. Like, you know, so he was a really big fucking deal. Yeah. To like, especially kids like us. Yeah. Like we would go nuts. Right.

On Staten Island. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody would lose their mind. And then when I was like 16, I was in high school. Did you tell Dane that? I did.

I did tell him. How'd he take it yeah well he's you know yeah he knows yeah you know what i mean yeah that's a funny thing when you start meeting your heroes yeah yeah yeah you get to do that right yeah you get to do that did you meet eddie um never not yet oh i did i met him once uh at uh an snl thing it was like right before the 40th anniversary special. And he was there and I just went up to him. I was like, hey man, just wanted to shake your hand. Like, just like, nice to meet you.

See you later. And he was like, how old are you? And I was like, 20. And he's like, you're going to be just fine. That's what he said? You'll be just fine. That's really cool. Yeah, yeah.

So he knew you were on the show. He wasn't like, who's the annoying kid? Yeah'll be just fine. That's really cool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So he knew you were on the show. He wasn't like, who's the annoying kid? Yeah, it was for the first time. Once I started doing comedy is when I started making friends. That's when I met people that were exactly like me. And most comics also have a pretty horrible past. Of one kind or another. Yeah, something's off.

But yours is very specific. Yeah. You're still going to trump everybody else. Yeah, but comedians are so like, they'll be like, yeah, I understand. Yeah, yeah, off. But yours is very specific. Yeah. You're still going to trump everybody else. Yeah, but comedians are so like, they'll be like, yeah, I understand. That's how they are. They'll be like, I'm going through this as well. I get it. So I immediately just loved stand-up.

How did it happen that you first did it? I was on a basketball team. Were you good? I was good. I was good. Not like great. I could hit three pointers and i could play defense i couldn't dribble or like do anything super you could shoot good though huh yeah yeah um and there was like a stand-up competition in staten island at this place called the loony bin the loony bin is a comedy club inside of a bowling alley i've done bowling

alley next to a la fitness oh good perfect and a wendy's in a parking lot it's like no it's in a parking lot okay and it's like yeah so yeah you know the thing about that club is like when you're bombing you just hear people bowling and getting like strikes yeah so like who were the acts did you ever been there before i've never been there um i just i just went my friend how old were you i was 16 and your friends talking into it my bad yeah the kids on my basketball team these two kids i would they would like be mean to me in front of the team yeah like when we were alone they'd be like hey man you should do that stand-up thing yeah like there it was very weird but i took it so um that's weird where you you

realize that that that some of the fucking shit talk is just sort of like they still like you they still like me yeah there was like there was two kids on the team yeah and there was one kid on my i played basketball my whole life until i was a junior in high school uh-huh and this kid was always nice to me and our parents were parent was friends, and we would hang out. But if we were ever in front of anybody, I would just get abused for no reason. And then afterwards, you'd be like, hey, sorry, buddy. He'd be like, hey, man, you know I love you. Yeah, right.

But why don't you not do that? Why don't you tell them that you love me? I mean, you know, we hang out all the time, man. Poor guy. Yeah. You got beat up. It was so bad. You couldn't do nothing about it. Now man. Poor guy. Yeah. You got beat up. It was so bad. You couldn't do nothing about it.

Now I find it funny. Right. But, like, it was pretty shitty. Pretty hurtful. Yeah. Well, I guess they just, I imagine, like, you must have been sort of, like, you know, the effect of losing a parent and having that weird kind of need and vulnerability and wanting to be friends with people.

Yeah. Like, please, someone like me. Like me. Yeah. I was just like, please. kind of need and vulnerability and you're wanting to be friends with people yeah like please someone like like like me yeah i was just like please i'm looking for any reassurance in anything you know and just stat island was the wrong place to be at that time for that it did yeah it doesn't come in uh yeah you know uh you know there's not a billboard when you get over the bridge it's a staten island home of supportive people yeah i was even kind of the odd man out at that camp yeah oh yeah oh no come on no okay wait were you no i was like maybe early on but then like like the first couple days but then eventually well you imagine it must have been interesting in the camp because you probably had you know the kids of

of public service people yeah but also the kids of wealthy you know investors like everybody the class diversity must have been profound but also everybody was from somewhere else but staten island and they all seem to have like friends at home and like stuff like this so like it was all still you were there representing staten island yeah oh that's wild yeah so all right so what do you do when you go do the comedy um so i went there and there was like six people in the audience and i went i went six that's good that's safe six to eight my mom was at the bar i didn't let her come in yeah um and it went okay it went okay and okay is good for eight yeah you know that's like three people laughing yeah that's good that's okay there was a couple people laughing and what were you doing jokes i was

doing jokes like about like my dad uh you know i don't remember exactly what i used to do this joke about i had a mongoose and i used to my mom said i asked her if i can get a car yeah she said i can get a mongoose and i got all excited and then obviously I found out it was a bike and I you know I used to be like you know I'm 16 so you know

I'm into cougars you know is there any like 20 year olds in there you know very hacky no but like it was good

because you got the benefit of the doubt because you were a kid they weren't going to be they weren't going to be like your friends and be assholes to you they're at least going to be like oh look at the kid trying

to do something yeah the kid act worked until i was like 18 yeah all of a sudden it stopped and i actually had to start writing jokes right because i thought i would be able to like skate by and do this so right when you did it you had you you realized like this is it yeah i was like this seems like a lot of fun i would like to put as much effort and time into this as i can yeah i stopped doing the basketball thing. Yeah. After school every day, I would go to the city to do open mics. You did.

For like two, three years. Really? Yeah. So you're traveling in. Now, what was this stomach problem you had? Oh, I have Crohn's. That's all that's in the research. Yeah.

It's like his dad died on 9-11. I have Crohn's. He's got Crohn's disease and he's on SNL. Yeah. Crohn's is a- That's a good bio. He's got Crohn's disease and he's on SNL. Yeah. Crohn's is a- That's a good bio. That's the bio. SNL is always the afterthought whenever anybody ever talks to you.

Right, right. 9-11. 9-11. Crohn's. Crappy tummy and then 9-11. And then Saturday Night Live. Yeah. What the hell is that?

I mean, I know one person maybe who had it. It's like this disease where you shit all the time, and you lose a lot of weight, and you feel really sick, and your stomach always hurts. Is it stress-related, or is it disease-related? I am told I have a disease. I think stress makes it worse. Sure.

But I got it when I was like maybe 17, 16, 17. Just out of nowhere. Yeah, and it was really bad, maybe even younger. It was really bad for like three years until we stopped going to like Staten Island doctors and like we went to this guy in the city and then immediately fixed it. Really? Yeah, immediately fixed. Well, what were they doing on Staten Island?

I don't know. You know, I had people looking in my butthole all the time, like, you know, doing all this shit and like nothing was working I was just getting sicker and sicker I get a lot of weed and like try to make it a little bit better But then this guy and they just go to the city Yeah, go got this thing called Remicade, which is an IV drip for like three hours Yeah, you just sit there and then you feel good for like a month or two and then you get another one

Really? Yeah, so they They were just sort of like we what what i don't know what we're doing yeah don't eat the whatever and my mom was a nurse so she'd be like go to my friend go to this other friend doctor right yeah in staten island yeah you know you would think it's so close to real medicine i know there's real medicine a bridge away it's like it, it's crazy. I think it's indicative of probably a bigger problem in the health services in terms of certain communities. You know what I mean? Right. No, yeah. So, you know, if.

You got it under control. We got it under control now. Do you still do it? Do I still do shit? Yeah. Do I still shit? Yeah. Well, now it used to be like 30, 40 times a day.

Come on. Yeah yeah when it was at its peak come on yeah uh and yeah my asshole just looks like a porn star's asshole it's just like a gape always a lot of always open a lot of flow yeah yeah so yeah for like two three years it would be like 40 you know it would but it would be normal it was to the point where it was normal you just that was just your life and now i go like once a day oh like a person like a person no good and it is incredible i don't want to like i'm going to hurt some people's feelings out there who have crohn's disease or you know twice a day people yeah i don't know yeah sometimes twice wow you know most three but you know and you still do the treatment i still do the treatment it's good that they have

something yeah it's incredible so now you're smoking weed you're on an iv you're going to the city yeah to do stand-up where were you doing it uh i was doing a lot of like lower east side any on comedy clubs uh which one eastville oh eastville broadway eastville is like got the worst sound it is like it's a nice little room but you like put a rug down but what it's fucking tiles what's crazy is when you first start every room is incredible yeah you're like this this place exists and i get to perform i still i'll go to eastville like because it's around the corner from where i stay in new york sometimes i'll just drop in there and like i went there like it was the it was the the day the night before i did carnegie hall i went in there with

nate bargetzi and just tanked. I just bombed. And I was like, I needed this. This is good. I'm about to do Carnegie Hall tomorrow. I needed to be humbled by Eastville Comedy Club. Eastville Comedy Club. Yeah, yeah.

But it's one of those weird rooms where the sound just bounces around a bit. Yeah. But you were doing like the, but when did you get in at the Cellar? I got in at the Cellar. Probably not until after SNL, right? No, before. Oh, good.

I got lucky. Who championed you? Who championed me? Norton? No, who was it? at the cellar uh i got in at the probably not till after snl right no before oh good i got lucky who championed you who championed norton no who was it uh i think my agent did it really yeah and she and esty just liked you she yeah i got very lucky yeah i was like 18 or 19 she wouldn't let me into my hbo half hour and even then it was conditional and from like 10 years in yeah she's like all right no i hear stories of people that are like it took me like seven you know i just i kind of just walk right in and then it was hit or miss there still like to the point where like i'm i'm wary now yeah to call in for spots because like like i told you just show up i i think i can now you can show up yeah i can absolutely

but there was a period there like you know after the podcast and after like you know i'd done you know i was a known guy where i wouldn't put in because i didn't know like i forget which day to call and i had this fear that would be in new york for two days and i just want to sit there and you know eat the fucking you know the wings the wings and whatever and uh in the chicken skewers and just hang out with my friends and do like seven spots over friday and saturday right but my fear is i'd call up she's going i have the 1 30 on friday and i'm like i can't do it i can't do it it's too late yeah well i just can't the 130 doesn't really start till two i know but i just didn't want to be that guy like you know sorry mark cohen is in town and john joseph is he is a tell has to do nine shows. And then she'll see you when you haven't come by.

She'll be like, why you, no, come by. Yeah, yeah. Because you don't put me on. No, but I'm being mean. Yeah, she's gotten nicer. She's the sweetest. Yeah, yeah. And the place seems good.

I just, I don't think to put in there when I go. I should just go over and do a set. Yeah. Just go over. Yeah, yeah. But you did a stand? Did the stand for a while. in there when i go i should just go over and do a set yeah yeah wait i don't know over yeah yeah but you did a stand you're the stand for a while so what else was around stand up new york stand up new york you were running around that was like a big hike though for me right from staten island when you get in there you're in like the financial district so like going all the way up to 78 it's

like what the fuck so it was primarily the cellar eastville the stand in uh the cellar not so i was like 18 so just mostly bars oh really and like comics would have to like oh the comic shows yeah like comic shows and then like oh i did a couple bringer shows and then i kind of realized that like those aren't really the way to go when you're trying to work new material or do stand-up at all i know just because i didn't know like 20 comics waiting to get on i didn't know you became this guy that like you know they'll be like oh this guy could bring 20 people oh yeah that was it keep asking him yeah yeah i was like they want to book me yeah you're wearing out your friends yeah oh no none of my friends come to this

day because of the first year of stand-up and i'm'm like, well, you were watching. It was awful. There was nobody there. I was like, no, I'm not going through. You were doing the same jokes that didn't work the last time. Yeah, they're like, I'm not doing that. Buying two drinks. They won't even watch you on SNL. Can't do it.

No. That's hilarious. So when did you finally start to kind of come into your own? When did the seller happen? Who else? Who did you start with? You got friends that came up the same time?ordan rock oh yeah uh ricky velez i don't know him um who else kind of soda uh-huh dan soda uh-huh he's like he's been doing it way longer than me and it's a way

better comic but we all kind of started like popping off a little bit is that nice when you kind of you find the dudes that you're hanging out with? Yeah. You know, like the women, whatever, but the people that are your generation. Yeah, yeah, like your group of guys. Yeah, yeah, it's the best.

Yeah, doing like open mics together. Go eat. Two in the morning. Getting jealous of each other and stuff. Good joke, asshole. Yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely. Hey, you want a tag? Yeah. All right. And then you'll like get mad if they give you a tag. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then if it's good. You're like, fuck. Can I use it? Can I use it though? Yeah. And now you owe them one if they give you a tag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then if it's good. You're like, fuck. Can I use it? Can I use it, though? Yeah. And now you owe them one. Yeah, tag. Yeah.

I was never good at tags. I was like, if I ever suggested anything to anybody, it'd be the worst. They'd go do it and just be like, not only did that bomb, but it made people unhappy. I'm like, I don't know. I thought it was funny. I thought it was funny. I guess I have a different way of doing it. So how does SNL happen?

Are you working as a comic? Are you going out? I was getting like- I mean, you're doing road work? I was doing well getting spots. I would have like five on a Friday, five on a Saturday. At the cellar. Yeah.

And then like two every day during the week. I was doing it every day. Right. And I was living- Coming in from Staten Island? No, then I moved to Brooklyn Heights when I was like 17, 18. Yeah. And I went to college for a year.

Where? At St. Francis in Brooklyn. Yeah. And then after like the second, my sophomore year, after like a semester, I just stopped because I got an MTV show. What show was that? It was like Guy code or something you know she get that so you got an agent I got an agent and someone saw me opening

for someone I was on the show right and they offered me you know and it wasn't like crazy it was just like I was like I have to put all my effort into this yeah right now yeah if it could actually go anywhere right and then if it doesn't I could always that show it was it's just like talking head you're just like in front of a green screen there's like a hip-hop beat and you're like girls talking about crazy you know yeah yeah very you would hate it yeah i mean i don't like it now i remember those talking head shows when i was coming up or yeah i was already well into it like on vh1 like the 80s right the 90s you know the 70s whatever it was they just asked comics to work for nothing yeah and you'd go up there like 300 bucks yeah you just go up there and just rant when you're sort of a

comic and you have some talent and they don't know what to do with you your manager always has you do like things like well you know they're doing they want you to host these segments on vh1 right you know and then you're there and they put you in clothes you don't want to wear and you're like and they're all hip clothes yeah and you're doing like tony braxton's bio and i'm like what the fuck happened to me you know like i can't like it's so embarrassing but you know it all adds up yeah i think i must have earned something yeah i'm very lucky that that stuff didn't really yeah yeah like you just got to be that talking head guy forever yeah it's the advantage of being very young. Yeah, but also you're kind of a character.

So you're not just young, but you got your own groove. Right. You know what I'm saying? You're unique. So you do the MTV thing. I did that, and then I met Nick Cannon, and he signed me for a little bit. Yeah. And I used to open for yeah for like a year or two and that that was fun he signed you what do you mean he signed he was my manager did he's a comic i don't kind of i mean like he's one of those guys that

does everything yeah and so he whenever he decided to do stand-up I would be his guy and I would help him like write stuff so he was your manager yeah yeah kind of so why'd you decide to go with him just because I was that resume I was like 17 18 you know nobody was right now right barking at my door yeah yeah so I just went with him and he seemed like a really nice guy and then I opened from for him for like a year or two. And then I did his show Wildin' Out, which is like a hip hop improv show, which was really uncomfortable for me. And it gives me chills whenever I hear the name Wildin' Out. What did you have to do?

It's like dissing people, like rap style. Like, yo, your shirt is whack. Yeah, yeah. Motherfucker. I bet your mom comes from so-and-so. Did you write them or was it improv? No, everybody would write them before the show. Were you a rap fan?

Were you a rap kid? I love rap. I'm just not that guy. I'm not like, yo, let me tell you something. I'm really not that guy. And it was embarrassing. I'm really not that guy. And, like, it was, like, embarrassing. Yeah. I felt really embarrassed.

Yeah. And what sucked was they were all so excited and so good at it, the rest of the cast. And then I became friends with Amy Schumer. Yeah. And she gave me a tiny little part in Trainwreck. Right. And I met Bill Hader. And then Bill Hader seemed to like me from that. were you in train wreck i saw it i was a like a it was like an extra like where

i was like laying on a bed in the hospital oh okay what happened to you and i was like i tripped on a bong yeah it was like around athletes yeah yeah right right yeah so i guess he liked it and then i got a call did yeah i got a call from my team and they were like, hey, Bill Hader recommended you to Lorne Michaels for SNL. Uh-huh. And I've never, that's something I never even like had a dream about because it's so not me. Right.

Like I don't know how to act or do characters or impressions. I don't look like anybody. Right. I can only talk about my dick and my mom at this point. So I like still i'm still at that point by the way i still don't have much to talk about i haven't lived anything yet and now i just work yeah so i'm never gonna experience life ever which is a big fear of mine anyway back to the story you know so i didn't think much of it and then i auditioned you know on a stand-up on a show where everybody did characters yeah where was that it was uh i think at a ucb or something

in the city right and it went okay and i was like oh maybe they'll like make a mistake and make me a writer yeah like right them hiring me at all would be like probably a mistake for them so i was like you know maybe i like could slide into the writer's room and like do a year and they get fired. Right. You know, I was like, that would be awesome. Yeah.

So they called me in. Oh, I got a call back and then you audition at, uh, at the studio, studio. Yeah. Which is,

I'm sure, you know, is a dark room and they're in there, but they're not laughing. You can't see them. Yeah. And you're on the stage. Yeah.

It's quiet. Yeah. And you're just, you know know freestyling to a camera yeah so i just did like stand up again and you know there was no laughter or anything very much so i just you know walked out as soon as kind of felt the weight of lorne in the dark yeah i just felt like okay i didn't get this yeah that's that's just what happened i got to sit in somebody else's dressing room and look at how cool my life could be. Yeah. And I got to do that.

And I was very appreciative for even getting to do that. And then I got a call again to meet with the writers. They might want to make you a writer. Yeah. And I never saw SNL before. Still to this point. You still haven't watched it. Now I know it.

From the inside. But before I got the show, I didn't know about it. Really? I didn't know what it was. I love that. Which is really bad to say, but I didn't grow up really watching it. Yeah. I watched SpongeBob.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drake and Josh. Yeah. Which is a Nickelodeon show. it yeah um i watched like spongebob yeah yeah you know drake and josh yeah you know it was a nickelodeon show so um you know i i had to like come there and you're like what 19 i'm like yeah 19 and they're my agents were like you know make sure you go in there and say like what your favorite stuff is from the show you know for the writers being i'm meeting with the writers and before i just youtubed snl yeah Yeah. And then I saw all these, the Will Ferrell Jeopardy sketches.

Yeah. I've seen all those on YouTube. Right. So I have seen the show. Right. I just didn't know because everything was on YouTube. Right.

I just thought they were weird Will Ferrell sketches. Right. Yeah, yeah. So I said those and I said Sandler, everything he does. And then they were like,

we'll get back to you. Yeah. And then I got called in we'll get back to you. Yeah. And then I got called in to meet with Lorne. Yeah. And I go in there, and, you know. Are you nervous? Do you feel the weight of it? Or it's still like SNL doesn't mean that much to you?

It's not that it didn't mean it. It would be incredible. It's just I have no idea what any of this is. Yeah. This is all so crazy to me. Yeah. I'm just going to enjoy it. All right.

And I met with Lorne. Are you high? I was very. Yeah. When you went in? I was high for every day. I was a high person from 16 to 23 until January. Until January.

Yeah. And now it's like occasionally or whatever. But so I meet with him and then I don't know if it goes well. What happens? I sit down, and he's there, and he just starts talking to me about the show. And I don't really remember much of it. Did he say what he thought you might do, or did he ask you what you wanted to do? He was kind of like, I think you're really funny funny i don't know if it works best for the show

right um you know you're very young yeah you know but i think you're really funny yeah and that was it that was it that was it and i left i didn't hear anything for a month yeah so i was like okay i what i i said i was like thank you so much for the meeting i was like really appreciate meeting with you this was you know this was crazy. This was crazy. Yeah. And then I got a call a month later, and it was Lorne. He was like, hey, you got the show. I'll see you at work. I couldn't believe what was going on.

It was all so ridiculous to me. So I just assumed I was going to get fired at the end of the year. So I just figured I'd have a lot of fun. So you went to work. I went to work. And what did you do? What'd they start you out with? I got to do stand-up on Update. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I got to talk about sucking dick. Yeah. So they bring you out as you. Yeah, they bring me out as me, my first thing. And the stand-up bit, I guess, went really well. And since then, I've remained on the show. And you just sat there with, who was Update then? It was Colin and Michael.

Okay, okay. That was the first year of it. So, yeah. And, you know, Lauren's been really great and he's been really nice to me and everybody's been super nice there and I'm still there, luckily. Are you doing characters?

I don't know how to do them. I mean, like, once in a while there'll be, like, a guy that I look like that they'll be like, you're him. Right, right. But, like, I'm not doing a good job at impersonating at all. Do you try to? I do, but, like, it actually sounds worse than my regular voice. So I usually just, like...

Just do it? I'm myself in everything. Yeah, yeah. And I don't know how I'm still on the show. Yeah. But I'm very grateful. So what are you doing out here? and I don't know how I'm still on the show. Yeah. But I'm very grateful. So what are you doing out here? I'm out here just doing some standup

and just, my girlfriend lives here and I like it here a lot. You do? Yeah, it's very relaxing. Yeah, you find that you're relaxed? I'm very relaxed. What's going on with what we talked about? You know the- Oh, BPD?

Yeah. Okay, so yeah, I got, i went to like rehab in like december now what leads up we're talking about borderline personality disorder right you know if you if you don't want to talk about it tell me but no i can talk about yeah um because it's fascinating to me right because it's like it's it's a really kind of mysterious diagnosis. It's hard to diagnose. And it's very, you know, very specific. And I, you know, I've dated a couple of people. One I know had BPD. The other one I'm sure, you know, doesn't think she does.

Right. But it's a difficult diagnosis. Yes. And how did you, how did it manifest itself? How did you think to think you had it? So I've been a pothead forever. Yeah. Right?

And I started around October, I would say, September last year. I started having these mental breakdowns where I would freak out. Like rage? Rage. And then not remember what happened after. Really? Yeah. So blind rage.

Blind rage. What would spark it? I don't even know. So blind rage. Blind rage. What would spark it? I don't even know. Oh, wow. My girl, I was on the phone with her once, and then she immediately was like, yeah, you just snapped and you went nuts. And you had no memory. I had no memory of it.

Wow. Then later on, I would remember it in pictures, kind of, and kind of remember it in a fog. Wow. But I wouldn't know what happened until after I broke something or after i came to uh-huh so i was under the assumption that i i was like maybe it's the weed yeah you know i never really did any other drugs right so i was like i'm gonna try and go to rehab you know my doctor weed yeah i was like maybe that'll that'll be helpful yeah so I go you know and I get off weed and you know they're they told me they're they're like you might be bipolar or right I was like okay so we're gonna try you on these meds or whatever and then I got out and

then I started smoking weed again and And you're on meds. And I'm on meds. So I was like, I was feeling a little better. So, you know, two months go by and I just snapped. I was smoking weed every day. I just like snapped and like I had a really bad mental breakdown. So I like freaked out and I was like, it has to be weed. I was like, this is what it has to be.

So I said, I'm getting sober. I was like, I'm quitting drugs. And I said, I quit drugs. And then I should have just kind of said, I'm quitting weed, because now people think I do drugs. So I'm very embarrassed at this point. Did you tell the show? I told the show. I was like, I'm quitting drugs. Right. You know, so, like, I'm very embarrassed at this point. Did you tell the show? I told the show.

I was like, I'm quitting drugs. Like, to me, I thought, everybody was telling me weed is a drug. You're a drug addict. You smoke weed all the time. And I was like, I guess I am a drug addict. You know, I'm very scared, and I don't know what I have. But you know it's mental. I know there's something wrong.

So four or five months go by of this happening. So I was like, I'm going to stop. I was like, you know, I'll do this yeah keep going to therapy and then i was i didn't smoke or do you know drink or anything for like and you're off the psych meds for three months no i'm still on them i was on it for like three months i didn't do anything and i never i still felt the same i still felt like something was fucked up and something was wrong, and I found out I have BPD, which is borderline personality disorder.

And who diagnosed that? One of the doctors, one of my psychiatrists, therapist, psychiatrist. They're all the same. I don't know which one it is. And what was the, what were the, sort of like, how did he do the interview that led him to that conclusion? He was always saying, like, before this big meltdown happened, he was like, you know,

you're probably bipolar or borderline. We just kind of have to figure it out. And then after that started happening, he was like, you're borderline. This is what it is. Because you don't have prolonged figure it out. And then after that started happening, he was like, you're borderline. This is what it is. Because you don't have prolonged depression. Yeah. She was like, I'm depressed all the time. But like, whatever.

They said they're really close. And it doesn't really come out until this age. Really? They were like, this is the age where it kind of. But now, am I wrong in thinking that borderline is behavioral and bipolar is is actually chemical i i think so i'm not like exactly because they're both so close and they're what i'm being treated with is like called dbt skills yeah it was just dialectical behavior yeah and uh and they're both like this they're treated kind of like the same so you're on you're still on psych meds and you do yeah i'm on

new psych meds because it wasn't working we're sweet and i've been going to therapy every single day dbt uh things you know just like a fear of it's like fear of abandonment well that's right that's the big thing with the borderline yeah so like you learn because i would always be like i think everybody's mad at me everybody hates me like i'm gonna lose my friends right lose my girlfriend like my family hates me and i would always just like be all around i'd be worried all the time and i'd be freaking out and then this thing this class you know teaches you how to use those skills and how to like be kind of independent uh-huh is i guess the word to just sort of say to realize it like like your thoughts aren't necessarily real right yeah. Yeah. It's like steps to thought processing.

You have this thought. You have these feelings. You have these urges. You're going to freak out. Try waiting it out 10 minutes. Right. Try going for a walk. What's DBT stand for?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy. And is it working? It is working. Slowly but surely. I've been having a lot of problems. This whole year has been a fucking nightmare. Because of this? This has been a fucking nightmare like because of this this has been the worst year of my life like for you know getting diagnosed with this and trying

to figure out how to learn with this and live with this and like just learning all about it and going to doctors non-stop it's getting better but it's like it's taking a while and you go to therapy like talk therapy every week i go to talk therapy and they also i have like this book and we go over like skills no kidding because i implement them well that's good yeah do do any of them track it to the loss of your dad yeah i mean that's the big that's the big one they it was like however i lived my childhood yeah and fear and all of this stuff is related and also you were fundamentally you know violently abandoned yeah that's that's my big thing is trust it's like you know one day he was here and then the next day you know they're gone

like i have trouble when like i used to have trouble when sometimes my mom would be like i'm going out you know i've you know when people say they're leaving and coming back yeah i get like a really big fear like that they're not going to come back well i think isn't the prognosis pretty good like especially if you're getting treatment like i know that that borderline is difficult to treat but some people actually grow out of it yes some people grow out of it and eventually don't need to do any of that stuff anymore so that's like what i'm going to therapy with the hope of isn't that fascinating though in the way like, because you were conscious enough that you were seven years old and you were emotionally attached and awake when that happened, when your father got killed, that, you know, that wired your brain. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Because the person I knew who had it also had loss in her life around that age. Yeah. or life around that age. Yeah. And, you know, and it just like, it just, you can't comprehend what happened, but you do know that, you know, people can leave or die in, you know, one day. Right.

And that's that. Yeah. Wow. And is the, so the talk therapy is helping you? What do you usually start with the day and figure and track your feelings? Yeah, it's day by day. Right. Cause like, you know, you could wake up a completely different person yeah you know and just submerged in depression yeah you

just wake up and you're like the world is coming in on you and it's all about like getting out of that and using your tools right like going through this book and like as like it's so hard and like lame yeah but like once you like you know actually do it and go through the book and you're like i'm gonna use this skill or like hold ice or something or take a cold shower or listen to your favorite song really loud it sounds fucking lame and annoying but like when you do it it actually kind of works sure because like if you if you engage in those habits that eventually the neural pathways you trick your brain yeah and you do it enough right it stays tricked yeah yeah so you gotta try to get i have

to convince myself i'm happy now yeah well that's been like my goal yeah what's what's what's gonna go crazy how about okay right yeah i would love to be okay mark that would be incredible i i just to be okay would be incredible yeah i i know the feeling man yeah well i'm glad you're doing all right so do you do it's good that there's treatment and that you you have support and you didn't blow up your relationship right you know yeah being i don't know how she's still with me being in a relationship with someone you know like myself must be incredibly difficult but but but engaging yeah i mean it's always exciting hands on yeah she Yeah, there's always something new for sure.

And sometimes like that, for certain people it's like, what if their life's a little slow? Right. They can always go, he's guaranteed to keep me active. He's a bundle of fun. Yeah. You're always on your toes. So what happens now?

When you go back to New York, you set up with people there to, therapists and stuff? Yeah, I have another set over there, so whenever I'm here I can do it here and whenever i'm there i can do it there and when do you go back are you gonna go back to when's the season start season starts like i think september and you're in september i'm in so i made it back so um yeah so you're gonna figure out how to draw from the uh the new diagnosis for your comedy. Well, I'm so happy. Now that I know that something is... I always thought something was wrong. And then when you find out something is actually wrong, it's very reassuring.

But it's weird because a lot of borderlines are very manipulative and have very black and white thinking. Did you have that stuff? I think the manipulation thing i definitely had where i would try to make someone feel a certain type of way and then if they felt that way i would feel good right right but if they didn't feel that way i would think something's wrong and that they're mad at me oh so i would like with words i would like try and sway people into saying the exact thing that i needed to hear but when you say you hate me you don't really mean

that right right yeah exactly i'm like you hate me, you don't really mean that, right? Right, yeah. Exactly. I'm like, you hate me, don't you? And she's like, well, I'm like, you don't, you know, it's always like whatever question I ask, I'm expecting the opposite answer. Well, that's interesting. So like when, because now I'm just doing self-therapy.

So like when you're with somebody who loves you, you're like, you don't love me. Yeah. That thing. And she'll be like, of course, of course I do. And I'm like, no like you don't love me yeah that thing and she'll be like of course of course i do and i'm like no you don't know i know something's up i know something's wrong and that could be very fucking frustrating for the other person you just drain them they're draining them they're just so strung out and tired of answering the same exact fucking questions you want to leave right yeah you want to get you just want to pack them get

the fuck out of here don't you yeah you don't love me anymore and then when they finally break down you're like okay see I knew it yeah as soon as they have a break yeah or else you're like alright alright sorry come on get your I'm sorry I'm being crazy it's either I knew it or okay I'm being crazy don't go it's exactly what it's like

I think I had it I think I'm better but I think I had it. Yeah. I think I'm better, but I think I've avoided. All right. Well, that was helpful. Well, it's great to talk to you, man. And I'm glad you're being proactive in all this shit. And have a good season. Thank you, man.

Thanks for having me. Well, that was heavy but beautiful. A heavy but beautiful conversation with Pete Davidson. I was very happy to have hung out with him. We text occasionally. It's nice. Good kid, that kid. Okay? All right. I'm going to... I think I'll play some guitar.

Yeah, I'm going to play some some dirty you guys like this dirty shit I think that's my oeuvre that's my natural state greasy guitar playing hold onmeme me me me

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