WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 937 - Mila Kunis / Iliza Shlesinger

Episode Date: July 29, 2018

Mila Kunis says she's had a most fortunate trajectory in show business. That's because she got to experience it as a hobby and as a career. She explains to Marc what that means, along with telling him what it was like to arrive in LA as a religious refugee, why Ashton Kutcher is turning into an old man, and why she didn't realize she was supposed to be promoting her new movie, The Spy Who Dumped Me. Also, Iliza Shlesinger returns to talk about her wedding and her new special. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Before I forget, it's been about like six or seven years since we've had any new WTF t-shirts, right? Because I know a lot of you, that logo has not changed. Maybe I've changed, but there's something about the original logo. We still have it up. It's still the avatar, but this is sort of a retro WTF thing in a way. I mean, we've had several different types of designs, but for some reason I was just, maybe we should do something

that honors the original logo. So, you know, if you're part of the club who enjoys this show, you'll understand what it is. And some people would just like, what's up with that fucking shirt? Which is, you know, something you want people to say. So go get yourself a new WTF shirt at pod swag.com slash

WTF or go to the merch page at WTF pod.com we've still got the old shirts there and some posters there's going to be more posters too so go get some stuff would that be all right today is another double header basically we've got Eliza Schinger, who's got her new special coming out. Wait, wait, wait. I know what it's called, too. Hold on. I've got it written down right here. Yes, Eliza, Elder Millennial.

That's her new special. And Mila Kunis is here as well. I'd never met her before. Her new movie that she did with Kate McKinnon, who I'd like on the show. Hello, anyone listening? Hello, Kate McKinnon, you're invited. Please come. The Spy Who Dumped Me.

That opens in theaters on Friday. So, yeah, another big double show. So yeah, another big double show. I'm promoting it like it's a non-purpose double show, just so sometimes things fit together. Sometimes timed things, sometimes times work out. There are people that I try to get on, that I want to get on, that I just haven't gotten on yet. It's not that they don't want to come on. It's not that we haven't tried to get them on.

It's just it hasn't happened. And sometimes I make mistakes. I didn't want to come on. It's not that we haven't tried to get them on. It's just it hasn't happened. And sometimes I make mistakes. I didn't tell you about this. It was sort of on the down low, I guess. But I flew to the Montreal Comedy Festival Thursday morning, and I'm back already. I'm recording this on Saturday. I was not on the festival, but a couple weeks ago, the festival chief, the kingpin up there, Bruce,

he texted me that the GLOW women, the women who created GLOW, Liz Flahive and Carly Mensch, were being awarded for the Comedy Writers of the Year at the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival. At first, he wanted their emails so he could maybe kind of speed up the getting them the news to see if they wanted to come. And then I guess they requested that i come present them that award and of course i would do that but i haven't gotten that festival in a few years because i don't really do it anymore and i and i don't i you know what i i might be wrong and not doing that i i tend to just go up and play montreal once uh every year or two and not deal with the festival because it's exhausting. And I used to put a lot of, like, it used to be very important to all of us

to get into that festival and so stressful and every set mattered and you always thought something was going to happen that didn't, not for me anyways. But I just, once I was able to sell some tickets, I sort of didn't care whether I went or not. But I'm getting around to the point. But I went, and it was fun to just go up there and just have this little thing to do on Friday afternoon.

I got in Thursday. I went out to eat with Dino, Dean Del Rey, and I went to a pide de couchon. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it I don't know how to speak French so that night I go do the alternative comedy show which Andy Kindler hosts I just did a 10 minute set lovely to see Andy and Jackie Cation and Moshe Kasha was up there and these are people I see around here but that see that's the thing I I forget that I like to do I like to hang out with comics. That's my entire social circle.

If I hung out with more people more of the time, I wouldn't get angry that I'm holding too much inside. I mean, you guys are my only friends. And Sarah, I mean, obviously I'm closer to Sarah, but I don't talk to too many people, but you guys and Sarah need to spread it out, open it up. So the next day I got ready for the gig to present. I wrote a nice speech. It was touching, but I had no idea this award show would be so sweet. I presented Liz and Carly with their award. Howie Mandel presented Joe Coy with the Comedian of the Year of the Award.

And then Maria Bamford presented Hannah Gatsby with the Special of the Year Award. presented Hannah Gatsby with the special of the year award. And then Dion Cole presented Lil Rel Howery with his breakout talent award. And then Kevin Hart literally flew in. He landed his private plane at the venue, almost, to present Tiffany Haddish with the comedian of the year award. So I had never met Hannah. I hadn't seen a lot of people, but it was nice to meet Hannah.

I thought I'd never met Tiffany Haddish, but this is where I make mistakes. I try to get people on, but apparently a few years ago, she approached me behind the comedy store. I think she was with friends and just told me, I'm going to do your show. I want to do your podcast. I'm going to do your podcast. She was just do your podcast. I'm going to do your podcast. She was just in my face about it in a friendly way.

And I was laughing, apparently. I remember it vaguely. But I said, we'll see. We'll see what happens. And now she's like, of course, one of the biggest stars in comedy. And now it's like, uh-huh, I guess we're going to see. So she's into it. That was nice.

Chappelle was around. It was nice to see him. Had some nice pictures with everybody. You know, with Chappelle on the podcast, I don't really ask him anymore. He knows. He knows. We go way back, and I don't think he's the kind of guy that'll do it. But I guess my point is it's interesting, and I don't know if you guys have this same situation,

because comedy is a very specific racket where it's not unlike high school. You sort of start out with people, and then you see them here and there every year, every few years, for decades. I mean, I hadn't seen some people in decades that I saw. I felt like it, at least 10 years, but they're all around. It's like there's always a reunion possible with uh comedy and it's always interesting to see how people are aging and who's still alive and who's doing okay and who's uh looks like they're uh barely hanging on but you know i guess that's with everything but there is a a sort of community element to stand up that is unlike anything else

and it was certainly great to see everybody but my point was i do what i can to get people on now maybe tiffany haddish will come on maybe in september she said she'd be free kevin hart apparently wants to talk again it's been years since i talked to him it was before he was playing uh entire states from a large stage with speakers in every community so it was nice i you know i i you if you think you're empathetic they you know there there's one way to really tell if you're empathetic well there's a few but uh maybe i'll tell you about that after i talk to eliza here look eliza is a comic she's been on here i think once she's a she's a hard fucking worker and she delivers the goods man i mean i i flew back with it that's the funniest thing about going in montreal is that when you i flew

out on the first plane this morning i'm so punchy and uh it's always there's always a good number of comics on this plane it left at like 7 50 but they make you get to the airport like two hours early and so you know i'm up at like 4 30 i get to the airport at like 5 30 i check in of course i got two hours to do nothing uh i see eliza's there no one slept i didn't go to the party i slept a few hours but me but not much maria and her husband scott are there dion cole's there maryland rice cub is there you know they're we're all on the plane everybody on the plane agents and whatnot just looking punchy today it was as if eliza and i woke up together

we didn't we didn't she just got married and uh you know i'm involved but you know when you when you see somebody that early in the morning, you do get that. It's an odd feeling. It just felt like there was we all just spent the night together and I missed the party. So it actually did not happen at all. Eliza has a new Netflix special. It's called Eliza Elder Millennial. It's streaming now. And this is a little chat came by. She wanted to talk about the stuff and the thing. So here we are. It's winter, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those.

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Oh. But that's okay. That's good. This is nice. Nice and relaxed, Eliza. It's better this way. Because you get the pleasure of following me. Yeah.

And your opening line is always like, let's just take it down a notch. So on the way here, I was like, let's see what happens when I'm not the bubbly cheerleader he knows me to be. There's certain outros I have for everybody. No, it's totally, I take no offense. So wait, now I haven't talked to you since you're married now. It happened. It did happen.

And you didn't bring your dog? I didn't bring my dog because I woke up from a night full of nightmares, as I do. Really? Do you always have nightmares? Yeah, I don't have dreams. They're just always either- Like what? Like what's the common-

I couldn't even tell you, but they're always just, they're either long and boring or they're nightmares. And I woke up this morning and I was like, and I was just like, you know what? We'll just go in there raw. We won't go in there. Charge is caught. We won't bring the dog. We'll leave.

Wow. I feel privileged or something. We'll leave, so. Wow. I feel privileged or something. I was trying to match your energy. I thought the dog was coming. I didn't know if the husband was coming. No. Well, no, the guy, I don't know when he's going to stop coming to the comedy store.

We're all appreciating how supportive he is and seeing him around. He loves it. He does? He actually last night was saying because all the male comics are like yeah one day you'll stop but he is a fan of stand-up and was didn't really know who i was when he met me so it's not like i married a fan right uh but he was like one of his best friends he's like he's never seen a live show before which is so weird to me

when was this when he met him oh that's he's like i'm gonna bring a friend to the street to the store he goes and i think we'll stay the whole night we'll do like 8 to 11 or 8 to 2 and we'll just your husband's friend yeah and i was like do i have to be there's like no you could take off after your studies i think we'll stay till like a 1 a.m spot see some of the door guys and i was like whatever man yeah have a good time that place that place gets weird after 10 30 sure i, I'll arrange it. Did they stay? No, they're going to. Oh. He came last night. That was his big idea.

Well, how was the wedding? The wedding was beautiful. Where was it? Downtown. Uh-huh. Downtown LA. How many people? Have you been married?

Yeah, twice. Okay, so you know. So you know. I had one big one and one little one. I understand following you. This is the big one. Oh, wait, you already, the big one. Oh, mine is the big one.

Yeah. Sorry you weren't invited. It's all right. I understand now why when people get married a second time, they don't do a big wedding. Yeah. Like you always see the woman, they're like, you know what? It was just the courthouse. I wore a seashell dress.

Well, you don't want to disappoint 200 people again. Oh, and go through, and just, it is yeah it is a gauntlet yeah and nobody and i was saying this to somebody the other day it's one of those things where once you've done it you're an expert but nobody wants your expert advice because everybody thinks that they know my wedding will be different i was told one thing i was told uh by my brother or somebody told him that during the wedding and after during the party don't uh uh stay together or else you're gonna have a different experience so just spread out no no just like stay with the person that you just married like stay married well no like in during the party and

during all this stuff like go together oh we didn't do that all right well i'm not saying you did it wrong but oh most of it was me being like get get on the dance floor! And it was me just alone dancing. Come on! Because there was a moment where the DJ did his job flawlessly and everybody was there. But I was like, I'm not paying you to do

like a Time Warner collection of the 70s. Yeah. And I marched right up and I was like, you turn this off and you put on some Garth Brooks right now. Garth Brooks. Or some Korean pop

because I want to dance. And the dance floor was evacuated and it was mostly me and like four people. Did they eventually come back around? No, but they're also older. Oh, did you carry the chair around? Did you do the Jew stuff? I've been talking about this a lot on stage. There were a lot of traditions that I refused.

I didn't do the Hora and I didn't do the chair. No. I didn't like it at my bat mitzvah. I don't like it at other weddings. Why did you do your bat mitzvah? You did the chair at your bat mitzvah? I think they did it at my brother's. I just have a memory of not enjoying that.

The chair thing. And the Hora, I said this to my mom and she was like, you're a crazy person. To me, it just seems like how fast can we go hoping someone trips? Yeah. Because that's all I want to see. Right, right. When someone's going to hurt themselves? Yeah. Because that's all I want to see. Right, right. When someone's going to hurt themselves.

Yeah. I was like, not today. So how many people went? I think it was like around 140. Uh-huh. A lot of people come in from Texas? Just some friends. Yeah.

You know, my dad and my stepmom and some people. But it was a beautiful wedding. Things always go wrong. But for the most part, everything went right. The food was all right? The food, yeah. What the food yeah what went wrong what went wrong this is such like i feel like people turn off at this my big thing is when you pay for something you should get what you pay for yeah our cake was beautiful yeah i don't like chocolate right now it makes me like a bad

female yeah and we cut into it and like as in the picture you can see my eyes going white because there was just a layer of chocolate under like the fondant yeah yeah and i was like what is that and it was a layer i got like a passion fruit cake yeah it was just a layer of ganache i was like what the fuck is this yeah and and so we wrote to the cake baker after and they were like if you look in our contract you see our signature move is a layer of chocolate ganache in every cake. And I was like, cool. My signature move is that I don't pay my baker. Like, fuck you.

Where do you get off adding that? It's a little bit of cat pee we sprinkle on the top. Yeah. But that didn't ruin everything. I definitely went around and ate around it on several pieces of cake. Did he swam a piece of cake into your face? The first week we were dating, I said, if we ever get married, just so you know, I'm not that girl. Do not do that to me.

You spend time on hair and makeup to have some schmuck be like, this is funny. It's in your face now. I just. So you didn't do it? Did you put it in his face? No, I would never. I just think it's barbaric. We didn't do it.

The food. He's a chef. So the food was great. It's cute. It's not cute. It's spitting in the face of the hair and makeup you did. All right. Okay.

I understand. I understand. You know, I think that you're speaking for a lot of women, maybe. Okay, so it would be like if you step on the glass and then immediately the girl kicked you in the dick. Like, isn't this funny? I was so excited all day. That sounds a little painful.

It's worse, for sure. Did he say he stepped on the glass, though, right? He did. He's not fully Jewish. Oh, really? He's half Jewish and barely, like didn't have a bar mitzvah, nothing, but with the yarmulke on

in the picture and like a lot of jewish outlets picked up the picture yeah it looks like i married like barry rosenstein like yeah he looks so jewish he does look a little jewish to me yeah i look at the nose and i'm like it's an italian nose yeah and then i think about my original nose and like what our kids might have oh wow uh so i hope that they're just really good at sports when are you gonna do that when you can do kids really are you thinking about it no no but just hypothetically i'm like if that ever ethically i mean it's are you gonna have them i don't know come on what do you mean you don't know why does everybody ask me that i don't know maybe you should write 20 minutes on it i don't want yeah ladies does this bother you? Insert pussy comment here.

No, but like, because it's a natural thought because a lot of people just connect to it. I think it's one of those things like marriage that I just assume will happen when it does. I don't think anyone ever has like that right time, especially. I guess some people are like, I'm having them now. I know. Like some people, all they want is kids. It is a truth that educated women are breeding themselves out because they're waiting and then it's and then you can't do it is that

true it is it is a fact um and i get it because there's a certain amount of time it takes to i went to just write it for it for your college but your education and you have a career that in this case is such a part of who i am yeah Yeah. So, you know, you have to shelve it for a little bit, not that it was ever a goal, but I guess I would like, I think it'd be, I held a baby the other day. Yeah.

And it was very squishy. Was it good? And I was like, look at this baby. And he was like, do you want one? I was like, not now. We're at a barbecue. Yeah. But that baby was cool.

Yeah. So I don't know. But you didn't feel, you didn't feel warm and. I don't get that. I talk about this as well, but I don't get it like other women are like, oh, it's warm and. I don't get that. I talk about this as well, but I don't get it. Like other women are like,

oh, it's a child. I'm like, oh, it's crying. Yeah. Oh, this is the worst.

Yeah. Yeah. And I don't. Maybe just too selfish for it. Maybe, maybe you got to grow up. Maybe you have to have the kid and then you see it.

I don't know. That's what people say. You'll get the hang of it. I'm like, I don't want to throw those. I don't have kids. I'm 54 and I, and I don't ever regret it.

No, you still could, but they will be autistic. I will. I don't know. Maybe those. I don't have kids. I'm 54, and I don't ever regret it. No, you still could, but they will be autistic. I don't know. Maybe they will. But I'm sure I could, but it's exhausting. I'm going to be worried all the time. I'm already worried about things. So worried. You know what I mean?

I agree. I'm a self-involved person, and it's not everybody's destiny to have fucking kids. Absolutely. It's a thought. It's something I don't know. But you could also just hire people to you know handle them i would yeah just parent these things what is this thing you're telling me about like uh like you said you had a stalker is that something you're talking about i was like i'm gonna text mark maron because i want to promote my special but i need it in my head i was like and i gotta

throw in something else also i have a what a stalker. What's this special called? Special called Elder Millennial. On Netflix? Yeah. So. This your third one? It's my fourth one. Uh-huh. For Netflix?

It's my fourth child. Yep. Well, the first one was an acquisition, but still technically for Netflix. Okay. Okay. Yeah. When'd you record this?

We recorded it in February aboard the USS Hornet, which is a retired aircraft carrier. Why there? I do a lot of USO shows. Yeah. And a couple of years ago, we landed on the Stennis in the Persian Gulf. And we did a show for like a thousand of our troops. And I remember thinking it was really special to get to do that.

This last Christmas, we did one on the Teddy Roosevelt. So similar type of ship. And Netflix, when I was going to do this hour, they're like, you know, we want really big production value. And I was like, oh, cool. It's not enough that I invented an hour of laughter with my brain. Yeah. We have to have shiny lights.

Right. So I was like, what if we did it in Bagram? Like, what if we don't army base? They're like a logistical nightmare for civilians. So we couldn't do it. And then my manager was like, well, you like that ship? So we went and found another aircraft carrier and we decided to do it there did you bring servicemen on uh they i mean people are invited we couldn't do them in uniform there's like logistical reasons and the uso gets involved uh so we did it um like

on the second deck yeah of the ship and it is in its regular hours it is uh a museum so there's all these old fighter planes in the background. Interesting. And it was freezing. Yeah. And it was the only time stage lights didn't make me sweat. I was so, I couldn't feel my fucking toes. Really? I couldn't wipe my nose.

Where was this? This was in Alameda in Oakland. Huh. Just cold. In February. It was just cold. And so you're sitting there thinking like every other time I've ever performed. Yeah.

You're sweating through your shirt. You're hot. I couldn't wipe my nose because I didn't want to ruin the makeup. I was freezing. You got a real issue with not ruining makeup. Yeah. We, yeah. Spend so much time.

It's like in a second wedding. And so that's where we shot it. And, uh, we're donating a portion of the proceeds to team Rubicon, which is a military charity that helps, uh, vets and enables them to help us when there's a natural disaster oh wow put them to work versus your neighbor well that sounds good you happy with it i don't know you don't know did you watch it yeah i was in the edit it's it was six months ago yeah so it may as well before you're married a lifetime ago right i know i know it's already done you know i do know yeah i mean i liked my last special but

it's so weird that like you you you do the special and then all of a sudden it's like behind you most of the materials behind you and nobody gets so they're like are you i'm proud of what i did i'm sure i will look great i put a lot of love into that special but six months ago so now the jokes are foreign because they're so they're changed or they're gone yeah and it's it was like a night. Yeah. You know? So I'm proud of it.

They'll love it, but just know that when you see me live, like, it's not that special anymore. Do people expect that, though? I can never tell. Yeah. I don't know what to think.

Like, some people think like they want to hear some of that stuff. Yeah, like a song. Yeah, like, but I'm always like, no, I got to do all new. And then they're like,

why didn't you do the thing that we like? I always figure, because they'll ask me and I never answer because I'm like, it's cool that you were able to get a hold. And then they're like, why didn't you do the thing that we like? I always figure, because they'll ask me and I never answer. Because I'm like, it's cool that you were able to get a hold of me over a direct message, but I don't owe you a response. I'm going to come see you.

Anyone can get a hold of us anytime. It's weird. I'm going to come see you in Edmonton. Will this be the same thing on Netflix or should I not watch it? And it's like, I don't know if you want a yes or no answer. I don't know if you want to see the same thing or if you want to see it different. So 50% chance you'll be happy. Right.. I don't know if you want to see the same thing or if you want to see it different. So 50% chance you'll be happy. Right.

Well, no, I think they want to see different. But then, like, I don't know because I'm trying to think when I was a kid and I'd listen to, you know, comedy records and I'd go see a comic. That only happened a couple of times. But I could listen to certain comedy records over and over again with other people. Not by myself necessarily, but like, dude, you got to listen to this. Right. So you sit there and listen to it with somebody and look at their face. Yeah.

And then laugh when they laugh. But I don't know if people want to hear the same shit over and over again. I think, I do know fans watch it over and over. Like I get the screen grabs of it. So they watch old specials over and over. But I think that's different because you know the delicious punchline that's coming. Right, right. I think that's different versus like I heard it once on your special and now seeing it live live is always different it is i happen to think i'm better live than on i think so i think i am too

though i mean i think that as with these netflix specials i think i did pretty good last time i think it was a pretty good representation to me but i'm not not, like, when I did five minute spots, like, on Letterman and stuff, it's like that you can't, there's no way. People don't get that either. They don't. Like, you're a storyteller. Yeah. Like, you are. But also, you know, you gotta get into it and, like, sort of get, yeah, get the arc going. Well, that's, like, for you,

you're a storyteller and you're intelligent. I'm a storyteller as well. Some comics are set up punch. Yeah. That works great for TV, but my note is always like, you got to trim this down. And I'm like, how am I supposed to establish this world? Exactly. You just pull these pieces out of larger bits. Yeah.

It's so inorganic. Yeah. So wait, so what is this stalker thing? Is that real? Can you talk about it? What if I lied just so I could come to your house? That's fine. And be your stalker.

You'll be a stalker. I felt like that standing at your front door. I was just staring at your cat. I was like in here getting ready for you to come you're just looking at buster he was looking at me and i was like go get him yeah go get mark did you buzz the buzzer lawyer sorry uh okay so here's the story because this is are you gonna get in trouble by telling it is it gonna make things worse only if he's listening oh but fuck him um i okay, so this starts a year ago. Yeah.

I was in Las Vegas. Yeah. I was playing and I was about a minute into my set and a man sort of drifted over to the apron of the stage and I remember he was in a suit because I just thought to myself, that's weird. Yeah.

In a suit. And we'll classify that as like a heckler. Right. You know? Right. He's up, he's standing, everyone else is sitting down, he walks up to them.

And I was a minute in. It's not like, wait, there's something to participate. Just got up there. I go, and my thing is like, talk over the heckler. Do not give them the chance. Was he talking?

I couldn't hear it if he was saying anything and he wasn't trying, he was just talking at me and I was like, this guy's drunk. Yeah. So I go, this guy's drunk, let's go, get him out of here. Yeah. saying anything and he wasn't trying. He was just talking at me and I was like, this guy's drunk. Yeah. So I go, this guy's drunk.

Let's go get him out of here. Yeah. Security flanking me doesn't move. Yeah. I don't know if they thought I was part of the act or what. I go, hey. Like, and I yell him. I go, get this fucking nut out of here.

A minute in. They take him and I watch them walk him back to his seat. I go, not back to his seat, out of the fucking theater. Like, I'm working on an hour. Yeah. And I'm irritated. And this is how the show is opening yes and the crowd's like is this part is this performance art so shelf that idea so that happened and i get you know people do weird things things happen whatever um and about five months ago i get a phone call from my our manager yeah uh from the fbi and she says from the las vegas fbi and she says um there has been and i feel this is so weird it's such a comic thought i feel like

an asshole even saying this yeah allegedly there has been a mass shooting threat um and you were named in it a man has threatened to shoot up a space in las vegas should you ever come back to las vegas and he wants to do it in your name uh-huh because of what he loves you oh because he loves you yeah yeah yeah this wasn't him he wasn't upset because he had to sit back down yeah or because the comedy's like bad yeah but i even saying that i'm like i feel like people listen like who does she think she is right just shooting your name you're not that special right but to this one guy you were so right so special and it gets worse so uh they want to do a shooting and he was gonna it's alleged it's like secondhand information it was a facebook post that he would do a mass shooting and obviously we're very sensitive to that in this

country particularly in las vegas this is after the one that happened um and she said and she named him i'm not gonna say the guy's name. And she described him. Yeah. 5'10", African-American. And she told me his name. Yeah. And it clicked.

And I go, that's the guy. That was at the front of the stage. He's obsessed with you. So I go, okay. Well, I'm not planning on playing Las Vegas anytime soon. I'm sure this will go away. A couple months later, I get a phone call. Hey, come back.

Play Las Vegas. I go, okay. so i call the casino and i say you know can we put in metal detectors they're like no i was like okay uh i will have to hire my own security so i have a lot of the problems of a major celebrity with the budget of a minor celebrity yeah so i hire extra security and i forget about it. Vegas is a ways away. Right. This was a couple of weeks ago. I played it, whatever.

Um, and I forgot about it. And three weeks ago I'm sitting at home with my assistant and there's a knock at the door and it wasn't a knock like you would like for Amazon. It was a, like a hair, a hard, fast one. And something about the knock was weird to me.

My assistant goes to the door. She looks in the peoplehole and she opens it which i wouldn't have done but fair enough yeah and she yells up to me there's no one here and there's no package i am not street smart i didn't grow up like i'm not a criminal i don't have that kind of brain yeah uh but something didn't sit right with me so i put on my shoes and I go, I'll be right back. And I go outside. Why I went outside, like why that's a good idea, I don't know. But in my mind, because I live in a nice enough area that people steal our mail, like we all lock mailboxes, people steal packages.

In my mind, I was looking for someone, maybe on drugs, running back and forth, knocking on doors, just being a crazy person. And that I'm not afraid of. Yeah. Right right because it's got nothing to do with you yeah so i go outside and that's what i'm looking for and i see down the road a man in a black shirt and a man in a red shirt i don't see what their color of their skin is or anything i just see two men yeah so i yell for my neighbor who always has his door open he's a big guy i was like come out here and stand with me yeah so he comes out drag the neighbor in he's well he's like ready to go he's got a truck like he's ready to go he's looking for trouble i know and he's cool and he comes out and i go just stand with me and i

found myself like instinctively kind of standing behind him but the guy in the red shirt starts to walk back to us and it was weird because i and this might be a problem i wasn't scared i was curious uh-huh sure and i'm staring at him and my neighbor goes, hey man, are you knocking on people's doors? Like being cool. Yeah. And the guy,

you could tell was on drugs. You could just tell. Yeah. And he was waving a dollar around which is not something normal people do. And he goes, no,

are you stealing people's dogs? And I was like, oh, okay, there's the proof. You're a crazy person. That makes no sense. Yeah. Are you stealing people's dogs?

I'm like, okay, goodbye. So he leaves and my neighbor turns to me and he you should call the cops and i'm like for what like this is la people are getting raped all the time right i'm not gonna call the cops he goes you should just so they have a record you know and it's our block and whatever i go okay but had he not said this none of this would have transpired so i call the cops and i say there are two men and i see them in the distance kind of walking where i go and they're on drugs and they're terrorizing but they're knocking on

people's doors or doing something weird yeah and and and and whatever so i hang up the phone 15 minutes later i get a knock at my door and it's two police officers and the cop looks at me and he goes how do you know and he named the guy from las vegas yeah how do you know bob smith yeah and i just started crying i was like why are you saying that name to me why are you the guy that knocked and the guy that i interacted with was latino he was not african american and i was like why are you saying that name and he was like well that's who's down the hill with the guy that knocked on your door and And I was trying to get the words out. Like, FBI, they called me, and I was like,

get in your fucking car and go shoot him in the face. Go arrest him. So they run, and they arrest him a block from my house. These guys were just hanging out. They come back. I have to explain the whole story to them. I get in the car. What can they hold him for?

So, well, they detain him. So he's in handcuffs. They put me in the car. I've never been in for? So, well, they detain him. So he's in handcuffs. They put me in the car. I've never been in a cop car before, which was kind of crazy. The seats are not made of regular seat leather. They are plastic and hard. The cop said to me, it makes them easier to wipe down. And I was like, whoa.

So I get in the car and I go and I identify them. And I know who he is because he's my stalker. And the other guy I just saw a minute ago. And so they take him away. My guy will keep calling him bob smith is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic he believes that we're married and he believed that i had his dogs he met that guy he took a bus to la that morning to come find me. Yeah. So they held him on a. Because of the dog. Because of the dog. But I also think that was a lie. But even if it wasn't.

No, they get like, they lock into the, it's a purpose. And they went on his Facebook page. Yeah. He had been, I went on his Instagram. Yeah. And I saw that I had blocked his Instagram. Meaning at some point in the last year or so, he annoyed me enough as just a fan that I blocked him. Not registering who it was. the last year or so he annoyed me enough as just a fan that i blocked him right not registering his facebook page is replete with just my posts naming me using weird religious language the word

kill appears a lot mysteriously the shooting threat has been removed so part of me is like that's the thing that would get someone but you had the wherewithal to take that down so they hold him on a psychiatric hold for those of you listening it's called a 5150 and they held him for days and they held him all the way through me being las vegas so i'm sitting there thinking like oh cool i spent all this money on like extra security and now the guy's under uh surveillance under surveillance when he was lucid. In lockup, yeah. And he doesn't take his medicine, he won't take it.

And that's why he's... That's why, yeah, yeah. I get it. I understand that it might be really horrible if you think the world is the way it is and people tell you that you're wrong and that's your mental illness and you're like, no,

and I don't want to be fuzzy. But this is what happened with him and what irritates me is that the cops questioned him. They're like, do you know what you did is wrong? Do you know that you're scaring her? He's like, yeah. They're like, are you going to go home to Las Vegas?

He's like, I think I'm going to stay in LA and try to make a life here. But he is a homeless man. Like there is no. And he said, and they said, how did you get her address? And every time they ask him, no matter how loose it is, he just says, it just came to me. So he knows enough to not give up that piece of information. Right. Cops keep saying to me, it's not hard to get an address.

But I tried, and it's not that easy. So I went, they give you a temporary restraining order for like three days. So I went to the court to get a restraining order. And what was eye-opening was the amount of people there, a lot of whom did not speak English, who were seeking these restraining orders for situations that are so much more severe. Like my husband raped my kid. And I fill out the paperwork and I waited five hours and I was denied a restraining order. Because I guess until they rape you in the face. That's right.

Yeah, you can't do anything. Can't do anything. a restraining order because i guess until they rape you in the face that's right um yeah you can't do anything can't do anything and so the morning my netflix special comes out on the 24th is my court date at 8 30 oh exciting and i'm gonna be there with all my paperwork i've already like for the restraining order for restraining i've already prepared like a james spader dissertation like a la boston legal because i deserve to at least have a piece of paper. Feel safe. Yeah. It's very weird with the mental problems and the people that show up that if they don't break the law. He didn't break the law. If they don't trespass.

Right. You can't, but there's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do. My argument would be, yes, he didn't break the law, but since going on his permanent record isn't harming him since he is a homeless person who doesn't seek to better himself. Mentally ill person. Mentally ill and homeless. Yeah.

Why not give me this? That way, if he does swing the other way in a year from now, because it's stalking me over a period of years, why not at least let me feel protected? Yeah. And has anything happened since he was locked up? So they, a couple of days ago, released him. Yeah. Oh, really? Just so this is new yeah his father took a bus here to try to find him like he's on the streets now yeah and you're just sort

of banking hoping that he doesn't retain or hadn't written down your address and doesn't decide nope gotta get those dogs yeah so like comedy club like i won't let it affect anything like i'll still do my job but like i am not hard to find. No, that's the thing. Like, and there's other women that go through this. I mean, you know, there, you know, we know people, I mean, I know a few people, you know, that have this problem and the accessibility is very scary. The accessibility and what was even scarier. I was sitting in that room with all these people seeking restraining orders. And I, I posted something about this on Instagram and then I took it down. But the amount of responses from everyday people, women in particular.

Oh, yeah, I have a stalker. Oh, yeah, he walked through my house. Cops told me to get over it. Oh, he did. Regular people, it's just part of it, part of your existence that you're going to have someone who's obsessed with you. I was at the gym yesterday. Yeah. And I come downstairs and it's like a courtyard where all these stores are and i'm standing there on the phone and the guy who knocked on my door just

walks right past me the latino guy uh-huh come on he walked right past so they're in it together no i think he's homeless and like my neighborhood is his area oh i get it yeah and again i wasn't scared but it was just that universe reminding you like, yeah, you got to live among it. You got to live amongst these people. There's nothing you can do. And he just kind of bopped by, didn't recognize me. The other guy probably put him up to it. I don't think so.

I think they don't know each other. I think they smoke meth together. The cop, when they arrested him, the cop goes, I was like, is there anything you can hold him on? He goes, he has a meth pipe in his pocket, but there's no meth in it. So we think he was just holding it for a friend. i was like oh so now that excuse works not in high school when you're holding things for your friends but now we buy it oh boy i just i don't know it there's it's it's scary because you know someone else we know this goes on for years yeah she just integrated into her life it's kind of receded a bit, but like, it's just, it is what it is. It's just hanging there.

She's done everything you can do. Hovering, yeah. But it's like a family of them. It's a bizarre story. That is bizarre. Yeah. It is a weird thing. And it's weird that a lot of people have to deal with it.

And what also was weird was the amount. One cop was like, you need to get a gun. And I was like, are you supposed to advise me on that? The amount of people that are like, just, yeah, get that gun. People that you wouldn't think. Friends, neighbors. Would you get one? I went shooting on 4th of July.

Is it good? I mean, I've shot guns before. Yeah, me too. I don't love it. Yeah. I don't think I would get a gun. My husband is opposed to getting a gun. Of course, the odds of me accidentally either shooting myself or in fact, arming my assailant.

Yeah. Or that. Accidentally. Yeah. I got bear spray. Oh, that's good. The cop was like, that's badass. And I got the kind that like leaves a paint mark.

Oh, really? You stun and mark the bear? Yeah. Well, that way if they catch them later, he can't deny because it's on your skin. Right. And I got mace, but, you know, the gun thing is,

I think we all have this fantasy that like, I just, you know, I drop that clip out, I reload it, I shoot it. Yeah, I know, I know. So that's...

No, mace and that's good. Mace and the bear spray. I don't even know what bear spray is and I think it sounds pretty good. It's exactly what you think it is. To stop a bear.

Uh-huh. To stop a burly gay man from dancing with you. All right, Eliza. You feel good? It was good. I just want people to watch my special. Of course they're going to watch the special.

Come watch the special. It's called... Elder Millennial. Elder Millennial on Netflix. Great. All right. Thanks, Mark. Eliza Schlesinger. millennial on netflix great all right thanks mark eliza swessinger her netflix special is eliza elder millennial it's streaming now so empathy so i'm on this plane i got a first class seat i don't want to brag but i got a

first class seat but it's right at the back of first class right before the partition before between first and uh the people and a couple got on with two babies two babies and they sat right behind the partition behind me and these babies one of them was was screaming for so long and so loud in such a strange way that uh i it was it was bizarre like it wasn't it was just like i was concerned i was uh um horrified i was annoyed but it was just like i it was it got to the point where like this is unbelievable like how long is this kid gonna go and then the other one starts making noises and they're right behind me and it goes on for a like a long time i had i had to put my headphones on and slam them up real loud but this is real test of empathy because back in the day if that happened

and i was as tired as i was i'd be like you know fuck them fuck them fuck that couple fuck their fucking babies they're dumb loud babies fuck them but now like somehow or another i i realize that it can't be easy for those parents the babies are terrified or maybe they're just shitty babies but uh but it's not easy for them it's embarrassing it's hard enough they probably don't sleep like i just was able to accept it. That doesn't make me a hero. I didn't save anybody being sucked out of a window or anything, but I did not get annoyed or angry when the worst baby crying I've ever heard was directly behind me on this airplane. It's always some sort of karma.

It's some sort of karma. But that's the empathy test. If you can feel for those parents as opposed to your need for sleep oh i also watched a red sparrow but i didn't time it right i half slept through the new blade runner which seemed pointless quite honestly what was that ending and then i i was watching red sparrow and we literally landed like stopped at the gate 10 minutes before it ended so i don't even know who's under the hood. I got a pretty good idea.

I know it took me a long time to watch it, but I didn't anticipate having to watch the end at home. You know, I just, I really, but I'll get to it. I'll, you know, it's not unlike me not to finish movies. Fucking burning up in here. I'm sweating. I'm sweating balls. Is that the same?

You can't say sweating balls. It's tripping balls, not sweating balls. I guess, well, yeah, they're probably sweaty. So Mila Kunis, great name. You know her? I think she's come up in conversations. Oh, no, she didn't. She was subverted in conversation with Macaulay Culkin. She's married to Ashton Kutcher and she's in a new movie. She's been in a lot of movies. Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Book of Eli, you know, movies. A lot of them. Her new movie, The Spy That Dumped Me, opens Friday. It's her and Kate McKinnon.

This is me and Mila Kunis talking in the new garage. Well, you can move the mic, too. I feel like I have such a loud voice that I always sit back for mics. No, I don't mind it. I like it. I like the loud voice. Well, I mean, like, if you get too, you know, I can adjust the levels here. But now you have to deal with that. Like, I mean, there's people in my family as well that, you know, you have to draw this line where you're like, we're just not, in order for me to continue liking you people.

Yep. We can't. We can't talk about it. Yeah. I know. It's very hard. It's different. I had one blow up.

One. With Ashton's family? Yeah. With one member of the family that I love so dearly, so very much. And we both just so strongly vehemently disagreed on a-huh on a specific issue yeah that to me is very important right and that to what would issue uh women's rights right which sounds so stupid to say like oh but to me it's important but to you it's not like i don't know why why is it a conversation yeah because to this other person it wasn't a question like that's not an he's not

going to do anything against women's rights and i was like no but he is like these are the things that will happen if he wins and uh and it just wasn't of a priority not that it wasn't even a priority i shouldn't say that it just wasn't a positive it wasn't probable that anything was going to happen that's not the point of this the point was something else and i was like right but by default this is the shit that's going to go down right they don't think about that the two steps steps ahead. No. Yeah, it's so much more than that. And they cherry pick why they can rationalize. There's no rationale.

Like, here's one thing I've learned. Yeah. No, you can't ask for a rational, like, so, why don't you vote for Hillary? Because she's a bitch. Why is she a bitch? I don't know.

Oh, no, I know. There's no... And then you're like, but then we can't have a, like, an ed... Like, I don't mind disagreeing. Like, you and I don't have to agree, but let there's no and then you're like but then we can't have like an edge like I don't mind disagreeing like you and I

don't have to agree but let's have like an educational debate most people don't know you know past you know once you go down the line

of government people people most people don't know past Pence you know it's like you know who's who's the secretary of defense

who's the secretary of state but ask somebody what does Congress do what does House do what does the Senate do they don't know exactly so it doesn't matter right like the bottom line is it's all impulse feelings it's all feelings it's feelings and it's a headline that grabs your

attention it's it's like one thing that maybe you gravitate towards whether it's which is yeah whatever religion i don't know he makes me feel like fuck that guy you know like you know like he says things he speaks the way that i speak. He makes me feel less stupid. Whatever it is. He makes me feel less stupid for being stupid. Yeah. So you guys go up to Iowa a lot to visit family. You got kids, right? We have two kids, yeah.

Does he have other kids? No. So you just got the kids? Just us two, yep. And this is your first marriage? Yeah. And his first marriage? Second.

Second. Yeah, I married a divorcee. Who is he married to? Demi Moore. He was married to her. You know, I don't really, I'm so, like, I'm not even being cagey in any way. I know you are. I know you don't know.

You're too fucking highbrow, which is why I was like, yeah, I'll do Marc Maron. He doesn't know shit about anything. I'm not highbrow, but I just like. You're a little highbrow, buddy. No, but I knew he was with Demi Moore, but I didn't know the name. No, you went like this, who is he with again? Like you didn't even know the name

which I respect so much. I know Demi Moore but I thought it was somebody else that he was married to. See, I didn't know they were married. I know and I love that.

That's fine. Oh my God. I think this is great. I think that you not knowing is even better. It's happening more and more because I'm getting older. You know,

the further away I get from it the less I give a shit. I get it. I married one of you. You'd be shocked at how little my husband knows about anybody. Really? Or who they are.

So much so that at one point I was like, are you fucking with me? I literally was like, there's no way you don't know who that is. And this is a God's honest truth. Who was it? Julia Roberts. Oh, come on. He had to know who she was. It was a little dark. I guess is a God's honest truth. Who was it? Julia Roberts. Okay. Oh, come on. He had to know who it was. It was a little dark.

I guess he just didn't even look. I don't know what he thought, but she walked by and he goes, God, that woman looks so familiar. And I literally went, are you fucking with me? And he was like, no, wait, tell me her name. Just tell me her name. And I was like, are you, are we, what? And he just didn't remember. He just was like, it just doesn't, it's not a, but tell him who created what company,

what tech race happened where, who's the creative, what tech, like, then he'll spew a million. So he's completely in that world now. He has a show on Netflix. He has the ranch on Netflix and he loves that show and it's fantastic and it's politically driven. So I think to him, it's really exciting. But that's it, right? That's it.

He doesn't. But like, it's interesting to me when actors who are intelligent get bored that's exactly what happened yeah you know exactly like he just needed something else and so he immersed himself in a whole other field and thrived it's great yeah it's fantastic it's great and you i so i'm interested in uh you know where you come from boy well before we get into that though let me add that on in terms of women's rights things are you still donating money is it a plan yeah but wait do you know what happened with mike pence's name no the fact that i said it i knew that i know

listen because it has something to do with politics right um yes so i went and said it's not that big of a deal i thought it was a funny joke. I was going to always donate to Planned Parenthood anyways. Yeah. It's not like it. No, I do. It's one of the three or four I donate to. Yeah.

Right. I just then thought it would be funny. Okay. So some people didn't find it funny, but I will say this. Here's what happened. So there's an address that was listed online. That's not necessarily my personal address, but it's listed as if it's my personal address. And so then people started giving donations to the opposing side, which I didn't even

know there was one. Okay. I don't want to promote it, whatever it is. So people just started donating in my name to them. And so the mailbox of this one person who it's not my personal address, thousands of envelopes daily would come thousands. And you know what? In return, I was like, you know what?

At least I'm proud of these people for putting their money where their mouth is. Sure. So like, okay, donate to your cause if you really want this one thing to succeed go ahead I'm not mad at it I was you know actually pretty impressed with people trying to like get one on top of their that side is really good at spiteful grassroots organizing well yeah exactly yes as we all know they can really mobilize yeah boy can they that stuff with their. So they did. They got it.

But you came from Russia. Ukraine, to be specific. Right. Yes. Now I know. I have to clarify. Right. It used to be SSSR. Right.

Then it pulled away. And then now they're fighting again. Now there's, yes, there's a war. Yeah. And most people don't know. But your parents, like, why? Do you have any memory of Ukraine? Yeah, I came when I was like seven, eight.

So I do. Like what? You know what it is. And maybe you can, I don't know. I'm sure some sociologists can tell you or psychiatrists. But so much of my memory, I don't know if it's mine or memories that I've created from stories that my parents have told or from photos that I've seen. So I can tell you I have a lot of memories. I don't know.

Yeah, they're pretty elastic after a certain age. Like, you know, you kind of can build on them. Yeah, so I think I remember things. Yeah, yeah. Ashton and I went back there last year in August, almost a year ago, exactly. And I had never been back for 20 plus years, whatever it's been, eight years.

And we went back for a couple hours and we landed and he looked at me and he goes, so, like he wanted me to have like some like visceral reaction to like the land like i'm home and i looked at him and i was like yeah i got nothing i don't i don't i got nothing but we went back to the place where i was born and the woman wouldn't or where we lived and the woman that owned there was like no we're not letting you in which i don't blame her because welcome to the you know ukraine but um we but all of a sudden i did remember how to physically recognize either of you she either of you? She didn't care. She wasn't going to open the door.

It wasn't, no, no. She was like, don't kill me. But I remembered how to walk to my school. So I could muscle memory my way into school to the local little store where we used to go for bread and milk and stuff like that. I knew how to go to certain locations. So I must have had some sort of memory. And do you have siblings?

I have an older brother. How much older? Six years older. Oh, so he probably has. Married with kids. He's got real memories. Yeah. Does he have an accent?

Yeah. He'll hate me for saying this. He does and he doesn't. He sounds like he's from the Bay Area. His accent, he went to Berkeley. So it did manifest itself in like Bay Area Berkeley accent. Yeah. But he does, for sure.

That's wild. And your folks are still around? Oh, yeah. My mom, as I was walking in, was trying to call me. So what was going on that they had to leave? Was it a- Religious. We left on a religious, like not asylum,

but what is it? The Jewish purge? Mm-hmm. We were politely asked to leave. They did ask you to leave? I mean, they didn't. You could stay, but it wasn't the most welcome.

So that was in the, what, the 70s? No, we came in 91. Oh. We were in the second. So right, exactly. You're right. So in the 70s, there was the first wave

and then we came as the wall was falling. Huh. So like on refugee visas is what we came in on. Well, did you ever ask him, like what was the, like and then we came as the wall was falling. Huh. So like on refugee visas is what we came in on. Well, did you ever ask him like what was the, like what were,

what were the signs that, because I'm just, I'm trying to figure out when I have to leave here. Now? Yesterday, Mark? No, we can't leave.

We can't be like a favorite. No, of course not. We have to stick with it. Yeah. I, well, what were the signs? I mean, it was different. It was very anti-semitic but um

you know i think my parents wanted my brother and i to have a future and didn't see a future for their children and so they left everything behind they genuinely left everything behind 100 our home our money our finances their education everything for my brother and i to have the chance of a life so what was their what were their jobs before they uh left my dad worked in import and export which i know sounds shady but it really did work in import export like he worked with like importing steel like at a factory type of thing like he was a businessman yeah you can really own a business but you can work for a business yeah so he did that my mother i think you know did work like a home ec for like school and like had a, you know, a normal job, real job.

So when they, so they literally kind of, they, they just left. We had to apply to leave. Did you apply for, what was it? Refugee status? Yeah, exactly. So you could, if you were Jewish, they, they were like, okay, bye. And so Israel opens you, accepts you with open arms. Like Israel, you can just kind of go to.

You gotta want to be there though. Yes. But our our family was in LA we do have lots of family in Israel we went to there's a lot of family in Israel so no more family in this uh Ukraine no everyone left yeah huh yeah so you had a choice Israel or Los Angeles well my whole family yeah I mean LA is kind of like Israel um my family prior to my parents were all in the Holocaust. So the survivors left. My grandfather's brother came to L.A. in the 70s. Oh. Yeah.

So we started doing the 23andMe tests to try to find some of our family. Just now? My mom and I did our test. It's not that specific, though, is it? You can find family members. You can? Totally. They tell you a though. You can find family members. You can? Totally. They tell you a percentage.

So here's a funny story. So I did my test six years ago, probably. And I never made it public. I kind of just did it privately. And I forgot that I never made it public. So I gave it to my mom last year for Christmas. She did it and she made hers public. Like two months ago, I was like, oh, you know what?

I should make my test public because I want to see if I can find any relatives. So I go on the little app and I say like, make public, right? Two seconds later, it was like, your paternal, your maternal mother has been found. And my heart sank. Like I literally was like, my mother's not my mother. Like I forgot that I had given her the test. I clicked on it.

I was like, Elvira Kunis. And I was like, oh, well, yes, I knew that one. So they do tell you your relationships. I didn't know if I didn't realize that I could do that because I just got mine back. What were you like 100% Ashkenazi Jew? It was 97, 98% Ashkenazi Jew. I was 99.5. Yeah, the Jews.

We're really impressed. And from my family's from Russia, too. You know how they do the dots about like where you are? Mine's just like a dot in one area. Clearly my family never left the little village. Oh really? We're all in one part of the Ukrainian Poland. A little bit there, but mostly all Ukraine.

Really? There are dots? Where did I miss the dots? There was an area. Look at the map and it tells you where your family's from. On 23andMe? Yeah. I'll show you on my phone. I gotta go back

i gotta go back and look at it make yours public i made my public i was like what are they who's gonna find who's like what are you gonna do no i don't i don't i didn't know that i could i i apparently i missed a lot of buttons on that by the way so did i you did yeah my mom made hers public she's like i found her 17th cousin in jersey and i was like we're probably related so so once you get here, cause I know that people have certain jobs in Russia, but it doesn't sound like he was a specialist of any kind. So what did he do? He was a specialist, but he didn't do that. He ended up driving cabs. What they ended up doing was it didn't matter. Cause at that point he couldn't

transfer his degrees. That's what I mean. Engineering degrees. Yes. He had an engineering degree and he couldn't transfer it. My grandfather had multiple degrees. My grandfather is one of the most well-educated human beings ever. There was no way of transferring anything. And they didn't have time to go back to school. They came at the same time, your grandfather too? We couldn't leave until my grandfather okayed it. Because my grandfather was very high up in the Communist Party in our town.

And so he clearly believed that Russia or Ukraine, Russia at the time, Ukraine, was one of the best countries in the world. So he had no desire to leave until he came to Los Angeles to visit his brother, went to Disneyland, saw Disneyland, saw the idea of here's an institution for just fun. Yeah. The life that people have. That's what did it? The accessibility. Yeah.

That was undermined years of communism in his mind and commitment. Isn't that crazy? It is. But because it's just for fun. There's no loophole there. He didn't feel the pressure of the anti-Semitism like you guys did? Because he was in the party or what?

He was in the party. Oh, really? We all felt an assertive amount of pressure, but none of us celebrated Judaism. So we were raised with like, you're Jewish, just don't talk about it. It's not a big deal. You don't need to go and tell everyone you're Jewish.

You need to know you're Jewish. So no religion. Exactly. Really? Yep, correct correct did you get any later yeah i married into religion so that's the irony of the situation as i married like a pseudo convert but like who my husband yeah but he just said he's like catholic yeah and then became in love with the jewish religion later in life he did yeah nothing to do with me completely before me and he's converted not officially but like I guess he speaks Hebrew. He knows how to read Hebrew.

He's read the Torah a million times. Really? Yeah. He's like a student of religion and fell in love with Judaism. He's a Judeophile? Mm-hmm. I know. That's bizarre.

So he knows a lot more about the religion than you? He knows everything about it. He's taught me everything I never knew. We do Shabbat, kind of. We do our own version of Shabbat is he is he is he this obsessed with any other religions he he went through periods of just studying religion right but he'll learn hebrew does he read the torah in hebrew he can yeah isn't that crazy it is crazy he's one of the most brilliant human beings i've ever met in my life but is he going to convert or he doesn't want

no because it's not about that to him it's just more about like the moral aspect of it in the stories and what's the Old Testament? Like if you grew up with the New Testament, I mean the Old Testament's got to be exciting exactly It's what he said He goes how am I gonna understand the New Testament if I don't even understand the Old Testament? And so he decided to go and study the Old Testament before he went crazy went all in Yep. All right. So when you moved to Los Angeles when you're 7 91 Yep, your brother's like 14, 13. Exactly.

He had a really hard time. And he did? Yeah. So, but where do you guys settle? Are you with your grandfather's brother? 632 North Sweetser Avenue. 632 North Sweetser Avenue, apartment 10, guys. Everybody can go see it.

What's across the street? It's Melrose and Sweetser in West Hollywood. Okay. That's Jewish. West Hollywood's super, very gay. Very, very gay. I thought over by Melrose. On the other side of Fairfax.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was with the gays for my whole life. We could walk right across the street to the Jews if you wanted to. Yeah, we're all nice. We all hung out for many years. My family still lives there. At that house? Up the street.

Otherwise, I wouldn't divulge the exact address. That's what I'm saying. But my goal at one point, and I still, I wanted to do, I want to buy that building. It's 10 units. And I always thought that like one day, I'm going to take, I'm going to buy that building. Yeah. Because it's a building that completely changed my life. Everything in my life happened at 632 North Sweets Avenue, apartment 10.

And I can tell you the phone number that we used to have, everything. But how'd you end up there? Was your grandfather's brother there? My grandfather's brother was down the street in Croft. So, like, but, like, it doesn't matter. It was Hollywood. He landed in West Hollywood. And my mom's brother also landed in West Hollywood.

Because you have to ask. So, you have to be requested for a refugee visa for a religion asylum. So, they requested us. It took five plus years to come here we finally came here on a lottery so like you have to go to the embassy and then it's a lottery so it's not even like 100 so it was five years after you wanted to get out you got out yeah something like that three to five years yeah i've said my parents know the dates better than i do but like three to five years sure and then when you find oh that's wild so you go to moscow my parents went

to moscow my dad traveled there constantly to go to the embassy to get the paperwork done and all that stuff. And then finally, you have to go there for an interview to be accepted into the States. And we went to the American embassy for an interview. And I have given the story before, but I'll tell you the very quick short of it is I met a black person for the first time and started crying. And my mom was like, oh, no. Why are you crying? And I was like, oh, is this person burnt? And that was my first reaction.

And the person was lovely and wonderful and spoke Russian and was like can I explain this to your daughter and my mom was like okay and so he sat me down and explained to me in Russian in Russian that there's people with different I didn't speak English I only spoke Russian there's people of different color and different races and I was like my mind I think as a seven-year-old was so blown that I was like well there are purple people are there might be like I couldn't I couldn't I've never seen anybody other than my own. There's no television. It wasn't like a thing.

And so I had no concept of the real world. I mean, none. I can't imagine. I've only talked to, maybe I've talked to one. Well, I talked to Yakov Smirnoff about, you know. Oh, yeah, sure. About what it was like to grow up there conscious, you know, not as a kid, but to live it. As a kid, it's different.

And I had an amazing upbringing. Like, I had everything that a kid could have. But the channels of information are very limited. There are none. I mean, now there are. Now there's the internet. Everything is so different today. You can't compare the two.

Have you gone to Russia? Yeah, for press. We used to do a lot of press in Russia. For the 70s show? No, for like different movies that I've done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went back. Okay, so you're here.

You're over in the apartment in Sweetser. Everything in your life changes. Yes. When did, like, how does the acting start? Who does that? Me. It feels like it felt like it was pretty young. It was.

I was nine. Nine? Yeah. Well, what compelled you? What got you all sort of like, made you think you could do that? I don't know um it's uh did somebody approach you yes and no so here's what happened so i barely spoke english i learned english fairly quickly because the angrier the quicker you pick up a language okay so by eight i spoke english fluently but i was still very shy um my parents when i was nine

years old there was an advertisement on the radio called Beverly Hill Studios which was like an acting school at the time you heard that I didn't so my dad did and my mom

and it was advertised as a place for kids to meet other kids on Saturdays and hang out for ten hours and it was almost like a camp

so to speak and you come in addition and if you make it if you get in then you have this chance to be an actor this is 20 plus years ago so I'm 35

so this is 26 years ago. So my parents were like, well, she's cute and outgoing, and this will get her out of her shell a little bit. Right. You were in a shell? Yeah, I was very shy. Really? Well, I wasn't.

I wasn't, because it was a new language, so I think I was a little timid about meeting new people and making friends. Sure. And they were like, this would be a good place for her to meet friends. You're not shy anymore. What gave you that idea? I actually am a little shy. Yeah.

Until I get comfortable and I feel like I'm in a safe place and then I don't shy. Right. But at the time, it took me a second. So long story short, they took me there. As every kid, they get chosen. And then they're like, now write a check for. That's the racket? Yeah, of course.

For like $3,000, whatever the amount was. And my dad was like, bye-bye. And walked out. And my mom stayed back. And my mom was like, bye-bye, and walked out. And my mom stayed back. And my mom was like, what's the total? And whatever the total was, was literally $300 less than what they had in the bank account. So if my mom wrote that check, they would have been left with $300. And for whatever reason, my mom went, okay, and wrote the check.

I went to the school. My dad's like, what the fuck did you do? And the next weekend, I met my manager, who's my manager to this day. So it's been 26 years I've been with Susan Curtis. The next weekend you I met my manager who's my manager to this day. So it's been 26 years I've been with Susan Curtis. The next weekend you met your manager? Yeah, my manager

was driving down the street and saw a bunch of gaggle of kids and was like, these kids look cute and like pulled over and they're like, we're an acting studio and she was like,

huh, okay. And they're like, and we do these showcases, come to our showcase and she was like, okay, great. So she came to the showcase and she was one of the many people

to showcase from agencies and managers. And my parents were like, if you want to do this, this is your responsibility. You pick who you want to go with. Also, we can't take you to auditions. We can't afford any of this. But if you want to do this,

you do it. And I was like, I'm going to do it. And so- How old were you? Nine. And so I met a bunch of people and merely based on gut, I was like, I like this lady.

And so Susan Curtis, the next day she took me out on audition. She got me clothes from Gap and I got the first thing I went out for, which was like one of those like Barbie commercials. It's a Barbie commercial. Yeah. And that was it. That was it. And you're still with her.

Still with her. Susan Curtis. That's amazing that you're still with her. Yes. She's great. That's never the story. I'm. It's always like she did a lot for me, but you know, you're still with her. Yes, she's great. That's never the story. It's always like she did a lot for me, but I'm not with her anymore.

No, she's brilliant. Nobody's ever looked out for me more so, aside from my family. If you take away my actual mom and dad, she is my, her and her husband are my parents. I like it. I like the loyalty of it. Does she have other clients? Tons. Oh, yeah? She has great clients.

But she, you know know this whole movement of like hashtag me too and everyone's like how have you well how did this happen that you kind of just never and i was like oh no i did i just always had people protecting me and i always had somebody i always had susan who was always like you you you have had incidents where you had to where like i had like a thing maybe and she was like, get the fuck out. Like she never was like, well, let's just timidly walk away. She was like,

oh hell no. Like she would raise hell. Yeah. And so I always had somebody to this day that's always been like, you are, you are strong,

you are great, you are brave, like you are, you know, get out. Yeah. So I've always been super grateful for that. So,

and I, you seem like, like you don't entertain too much shit. But that comes with years. I don't know if that's necessarily true to begin with. When you're younger, yeah. You do entertain because you're so predisposed to social norm being be nice, polite, make sure you don't offend people. You don't want to be considered a bitch.

But you're so young. I mean, you started when you were a kid. Yeah, yeah i was nine yeah and and you were working a lot as a kid yeah like after the barbie commercial what happens next um i did a roger corman's remake of piranha i did a lot of commercials so like skip the commercials the first thing i did that was were you earning anything in the commercials though i mean like at least you were being on set and you were doing i was a really responsible kid yeah like i loved what i did i didn't even know what i was doing and i loved it and so it never felt like anything other than like home like i was always like this is what i'm supposed to be like i don't want to fuck this up right and so i've my grandfather used to take me to set and

my grandfather's like always make sure you're the first one there like you speak with a russian accent yeah i barely spoke english he barely spoke Yeah. So do you still speak Russian? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, fluently, yeah. What do you mean, to who? My parents.

Oh, really? My grandparents are still alive. That's exciting. So like the 96, 94. And it comes right back, it's right there? Apparently, I speak with an English accent. So I guess I have a full-blown accent. And my vocabulary is that of probably a 10-year-old.

Right where you learned English. Exactly. It's very stunted there. Okay, so he's taking you to auditions and things, your grandfather? Everybody took me to auditions. My manager took me to auditions. My grandfather didn't drive, so my manager took me. My mom's friends took me.

Whoever was available would take me. My parents both held multiple jobs. Until they retired, until they retired, until the retirement age of 66, right? What is it? 65, 66. My parents worked every single day of their life. Is that what it is now? 66? It's not 55? 55? No. 55? No. It's like 65 or 66. Whatever it is, they retired at the retirement age. So my dad drove a cab to the day that he could retire. And my mom worked at Rite Aid to the day that she could retire. And how old are at Rite Aid to the day that she could retire. And how old are they now?

They've been retired for a while? I would say. No. It's new. Just happened? Yeah. By the way, don't retire. No.

They don't know what they're doing. Hopefully, they don't listen to podcasts. They won't hear this one. Don't retire. Mark, whatever you do, never retire. You go crazy. Are they bothering you? Yeah, they get bored.

Yeah? They just get bored. I'm like, let's get hobbies. Yeah. And they're communist Russians. They're like, what's get hobbies. Yeah. And they're communist Russians. They're like, what's a hobby? Right, I know. They never were raised with hobbies.

My father can't. He doesn't know what the hell to do with himself. No, you can't retire. Just do something. I don't care what it is. And they don't even know what they like to do. Because they weren't raised with hobbies. You were raised to get an education, go to school, get a job.

Why don't you just give them, how old are your kids? Three and a half, one and a half. There's their hobby. That's their hobby. We know. Mark, I know. Yeah. They're over there all the time.

No. My mom also loves to cook. And so now I've been like, fuck it. I'll be your restaurant. So my mom just cooks for my husband and I and our family all the time. She comes over with soups and salads and everything. Russian style? Yeah.

Like what? Everything and anything. My mom never stopped cooking for four people. So even though my brother and I moved out. Does she make borscht? She makes hot borscht. Oh, yeah. Borscht in the house right now. You do? Yeah. The hot kind with meat in it? Yeah. Beef for four people. Right. So even though my brother and I moved out. Does she make borscht? She makes hot borscht? Oh, yeah, borscht in the house right now. You do?

Yeah. The hot kind with meat in it? Oh, yeah, beef borscht. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good? It's wonderful. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's great.

That's the weird thing about being genetically a Russian Jew. Do you like Russian food? I do. If you really, I will come drop off some borscht for you. Genuinely, my mother makes so much food from for our family that like i'm like what other stuff stuffed peppers are very popular so we saw some peppers um with rice and meat yep yeah and then um we have like um how would you translate that that would be like um buckwheat oh yeah like like uh yeah yeah yes with like mushrooms yeah with mushrooms and yeah. Yes, with like mushrooms.

Kasha, yeah. With mushrooms and like fried onions and then you can eat that with like, with the bow tie pasta? Sure. If you'd like to add that, you can.

Sometimes the guy doesn't have it. Oh, so you just, she just goes straight up buckwheat groats with onions and mushrooms. She's like one of those home cooks where like

whatever's in the house will end up in the bowl. So if there's pasta that'll end up in there, if there's no pasta, then you just mushrooms just do fish tons of fish she bakes fish for me all the time yeah but she likes carp which is a very anti like um la fish where i was like what is that i was like the bottom feeder carp people are like you know we don't eat carp and i was like we do in russia you can't find it here can yes you can you can find the carp

oh because of the russians yeah i just go to West Hollywood and you'll find some carp. That's why they ended up in West Hollywood. Like, because Santa Monica and like Crescent Heights or Fair, like, that whole area is Russian. Yeah. Wow.

Yep. So that community, you grew up in that community. I grew up in the gay community. Really, Russians didn't. No, but I mean, was there a sort of a sense, not unlike Orthodox Jews,

where the Russian community kind of. We didn't, no, honestly, no, was there sort of a sense, not unlike Orthodox Jews, where the Russian community kind of. We didn't. No, honestly, no. We weren't immersed very much in the American community. Like, as crazy as it sounds, the Russians were on the other side of Fairfax. And we were on the west side and the Russians were on the east side. And now.

So it was. So my parents did not stay within their community. That makes sense. Like, it wasn't like all of a sudden we were. Our neighbors were Russian and they were only surrounded by Russians. It was very much Americans, mostly gay. And my parents had to learn English.

They would walk to night school to learn English. They immersed themselves in the Western culture as they got a job the next day. It was important to them. Yeah, very much so. Sorry.

So you get, you're doing Piranha with Roger Corman. Roger Corman's remake of Piranha. The remake of Piranha. Yes, with Soleil Moonfry and William Catt. Roger Corman's remake of Piranha. The remake of Piranha. Yes, with Soleil Moonfry and William Catt. I don't even know who they are. Isn't he the greatest American hero?

Yeah. And Soleil Moonfry is Punky Brewster. Okay, all right. So how old were you then, Ken? Mark, you really don't know who anybody is. I was... I'll get... Listen, I'm sure if I was Barack Obama, you would know more.

It's fine, I understand. Punky Brewster. But who do I... I know certain people. Yeah, I know sure if I was Barack Obama, you would know more. It's fine. I understand. Punky Brewster. I know certain people. Yeah. I know who you know. They're not. I know more than... I know...

All right. Yes. Punky Brewster. That was like... I was nine or ten. Ten maybe. And was Roger directing it? No, no, no.

It was... Scott Levy was directing it. What did he go on to do? Sometimes... Scott Levy went off to do a real job. He went off and does some sort of marketing type of job. He's out of show business? Yeah.

That was his last big thing? The weird thing is Scott Levy's wife, Tracy Levy, has been my makeup artist for going on 18 years. Your personal makeup artist? Yes, super random. You stay pretty loyal to people. Yeah. And so then you're just doing movies as a kid.

You're a kid. Totally. While going to public school. Yeah. Yep. And did people recognize you? Was that a problem? Yes and no.

It wasn't a problem. But I graduated Fairfax High School. So I very much stayed in the public school system. Uh-huh. Yeah. It's weird. I mean, there's so many- Are you looking things up on your computer about me?

What do you do when you look at the computer, Mark? Right now, I'm just looking at filmography. Like, I just pull up the filmography so I know the whole arc of it. It's so embarrassing. It is? Yeah, go down my filmography. It's some good shit in there, Mark. Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves.

Yes! You were a kid in that. Yeah. And then, I don't know what, Krippendorf's Tribe. Krippendorf's Tribe! That was with... Richard Dreyfuss. Yes, Richard Dreyfuss.

And my part was to be in a cage and get peed on by a pig. So you're welcome, America. Really? Yes, for God. What was that movie about? Oh, it was very cute. It's a family movie. But I played like a young girl that was, you know, it was a whole gag in school.

Yeah. It was a gag. And then there's Get Over It. Yes, Get Over It was like an old school, like those Miramax comedies, you know, like tween movies. Uh-huh. And then America's Psycho 2. Miramax comedies, you know, like tween movies. Uh-huh. Yes. And then America's Psycho 2. That was a big one, you know?

Yep. That was a good horror movie. But you were like a lead in that. Now you're a grown up, right? No, no, no, no. Not yet? I'm a 16, 17. Oh.

I don't even think I was 18 at the time. Tony and Tina's Wedding. Yep. I was like 18. That was a big movie, wasn't it? Yeah, it was all fine. It was all while I was doing 70s shows. So I was doing all that stuff while doing 70s and while going to school.

How long was the 70s show? Eight years. Eight years. So I was going to public school, doing 70s, and then doing a movie. How'd you get the 70s show? I auditioned for it. I have no other story for you. That's it?

I literally just auditioned for it. It was pilot season. I auditioned for a bunch of stuff. I remember I got a show. Either I got a show or I was up for a show called Sunset Beach. And it was a soap opera Yeah And it was had lots of really cute boys and my manager Susan Took me to this soap opera edition and I ended up getting it I was like I want to do this and she was like

No, you have a callback for that 70s show. It's much better And I was like, yeah, but this one's got really cute boys and she was like no and so she was like let's just see what happens with 70s and And ended up getting 70s and I was like man. I can't believe I have to do this show I don't even get it. What's the show about and she was like, let's just see what happens with 70s, and ended up getting 70s, and I was like, I can't believe I have to do this show. I don't even get it. What's this show about?

And she was like, trust me. Yeah, and it was huge. Yeah, not off the bat, no. Now,

but I mean, it went on for a long time. It went on for eight years. It was an incredible show. It was Bonnie and Terry Turner, Mark Brazile. It was a great show. Mark Brazile,

yeah, I think I met him once or twice. I think he was a comic a million years ago. He was a comic a million years ago. And Bonnie and Terry did SNL. Right. Yeah. And that's where you met Ashton at first.

Yes, when I was 14 and he was 19. So weren't you his girlfriend on the show too? Yep. So did you guys make out? Yep, in the show. Yeah. With no feelings whatsoever. It's the weirdest story that nobody

believes but it's the god's honest truth well i've had to kiss people on screen you just do it you do it but there's no there's nothing there it was like whatever i mean he's yeah yeah yeah it's weird well i mean what do you do you like no it's something that like i think back and i was like you know he and i talk about it we We're like, yes, had we connected then? Would we have connected? No, because the people that we worked back then would never be together. Right. But it's just such a bummer that we missed out on 20 years together.

Is it? Yeah, for us. I mean, I look back and I'm like, we could have spent 20 years together. But you didn't like him the same way then. I know. Exactly. No, I know. What are you going to do?

We would have never been together if we didn't both go through what we went through in order to be the people that we were when we met. Right. Reconnected, I should say, not met. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And Topher Grace, I think he's a good actor. I like him.

Everybody out of that came out amazing. Yeah. Everybody went off and did amazing things and have their own careers. Don Stark. He was on my show for an episode. Don Stark is awesome, by the way. Don Stark and I were in Santa Claus with Muscles together prior to that 70s show. Yeah?

He and I did a movie together. He's a nice guy, right? Don Stark's incredible. But do you consider, on that 70s show, so you got a lot of feedback, people recognize you and everything, but do you think, did you feel like you were doing your best work then, or did you feel like- Best work at 15? Yeah, but you know what I mean.

No. it's very different when you're when you're like doing that as a gig yeah not as a career right there's two different versions of this industry and i think that i've been able to appreciate both i did one as a hobby and i did it as a career and it's too when was the hobby my whole life until i was 20 until i was 19 was a hobby oh Oh, really? You were a kid doing something fun? Yeah. And did you train at all? No. Train? What the fuck are you talking about? Mark, I'm such a bummer of a question. People are like, so tell me what method. I'm like, I don't have anything. No, no. A lot of people don't like to listen to that stuff. I

got nothing. I'd rather your story. No, Mark, I'd rather have something intelligent to say. You just have a knack for it. I don't know. Whatever I do, I love it. I love what I do. Even in the craziest of moments, I'm like, I have no other skills in life. I have no other passions. I'm fucked. I just love everything about this industry.

I mean, there's aspects of it that I can't stand, but I love what I do for a living. You have other skills. I have yet to find them. Really? This industry is my, I love this industry. I love producing. I love acting. I love what I do for a living. You have other skills. I have yet to find them. Really? This industry is my, I love this industry. I love producing. I love acting.

I love this industry. I mean, I love learning, so I get it. You do a lot of producing? Yeah, I have a TV production company out of Sony. Yeah, and what have you been doing? We have like,

we have six shows in development with Sony. Really? Yeah, it's really. Your company? My company. How long has it been over there? We've only been at Sony

for maybe nine months. No, less. What are we, in July? Oh, so. Six, seven We've only been at Sony for maybe nine months. No, less. What are we in July? Six, seven months we've been at Sony prior to that we were at a different place. And you have production partners and you have development people and you take meetings and you buy projects.

I pitch, yeah, I go to every single pitch in town. If I'm in town and capable of going and if I'm not doing- As a producer. As a producer, yeah, not for myself. And I put on shows and I package shows and sell shows that have nothing

to do with me Have you sold any? A ton We've sold our whole company together somewhere between 18 and 19 shows we have sold

We've yet to get a show on the air So let's just be clear here getting a show on the air is a very different thing but this year we're taking a different approach and we're packaging

with actors and so now we have shows that are packaged with actors that we're going to be selling as a full package which will make things a lot easier. So this sounds like what you're doing. I love it. It is what I do because Ashton and I, when we decided to have a family, so we're never

going to separate the family. And so, so long as he's shooting his show, I'm in LA with the kids. That's the ranch show. That's the ranch on Netflix. And then if I'm doing a movie, then we uproot the whole family wherever I am. So that allows me. So very quickly, I have 10 months out of the year where I'm in L.A. Whatever, nine, eight, nine months out of the year.

But I mean, I guess the question is, do you prefer this work to the acting? I love it. More engaging, a lot more levels. Yeah. Working with talent. You just think. Collaborative. Yeah, all of that.

Yeah. It's so much fun and it's a little bit unexpected. And by the way, I love acting. I really do. But acting, you have so little control. And there's something about it that's freeing, but then there's something about it that's a little bit unexpected and it's not and i by the way i love acting i really do but acting you have so little control and there's something about it that's freeing but then there's something about it that's a bummer like you do this much work you put out a movie and you're like well i have no control over right you don't even know if you're going to be in it yeah i mean that's the truth you might get kicked all these aspects come to play you don't you can't

trust your performance when you're shooting because ultimately it's frankenstein in the edit room anyways it is right yeah So none of it really matters. You just got to love what you do and do it for the right reasons because the end result is completely outside of your control. So, okay. So you're doing that 70s show. You're doing these other weird movies as a kid. Yeah.

Some of them, I, you know, I don't know. Now I, I had. There's so many gadgets over here, Mark. I feel like I just want to touch everything. It's okay. Some people do it. Your friend, Jennifer Lawrence touched everything. Well, that's because it makes sense.

Yeah. I don't know. I have the knife. Some people gravitate towards the knife. And the hammer? Is that like just- That's like a half. You're the second person.

Back in my other space, it was so cluttered, the things didn't stand out as much as they do here. This is like- It's a half a hammer. It's a broken hammer. the things didn't stand out as much as they do here. This is like, oh Jesus. It's a half a hammer. It's a broken hammer. There's a really great docuseries that I'm watching

on Netflix. I'm not even promoting it, but the hammer for some reason reminded me of it. It's called Drug Lords and it's all about the big drug lords

in the world. Is it good? Yeah, it's great. So there's two seasons, four episodes per season. It's not that much to watch. And so it's eight episodes total. And you have your El Chapo, which everybody kind of knows about.

And you have all that. But then you have these random women that I've never heard about, which I always thought was really fascinating. Like the Queen of Crack. Oh, really? Yeah, which I was like, who's this Queen of Crack? And it's out of Los Angeles. And there's this woman that was... Crack Lord?

Yeah. Wow. A crack duchess? Yeah, yeah. It's really cool. So anyways, the hammer reminds me of it because I feel like all the drug lords at one point beat someone with a hammer.

That's a rite of passage. I think it's very violent. So I talked to Macaulay Culkin. Did he come on your show? At the old place. Yeah. Yeah, he was, it's sort of interesting

because you guys dated for a while. Yeah. Because he will not say your name now. Yeah. He'll just say, it's somebody, some woman. I know. He's protecting you now, somehow. Yeah, it's very nice of him, yeah.

But you'll say who it was. You'll say you're... I'll just do what he said. It's somebody who was back then. But how long did you go out with that guy? Seven years. That's a long time. Yeah.

And you guys still friends? Probably not as friendly as we could be, no. Oh, really? Yeah. Too weird? Yeah, there's just too many aspects of it that I'm sure just prevented us from ever moving forward past. Well, how old were you? Because he was huge and you were kind of like...

We dated from when I was like 18, 19 until 25-ish. And you didn't want to get married or anything? No, I never believed in the concept of marriage, an institution of marriage until... You want to have kids? Until I decided to have children. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, the Culkin thing was like,

that must have been a lot because like that, to be with somebody who is that kind of actor with that kind of family, I can't imagine at 18 having to deal with that stuff. I mean, it's a lot of stuff. Yeah. I mean, yeah, yes and no. Yeah.

His brother's doing a good job on that show. I haven't seen it yet. On Succession? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you know his brother too? Yeah. Like everybody knew each other? Yeah.

I mean, you date one person, you date the family. Right. Yeah. I don't know what I want to get out of that. There's nothing I really need to know, but I just thought it was interesting when I talked to him that he's still kind of protective of the whole thing, and it's so many years later. Yeah. Yeah.

Why do you think that is? He's very private. Yeah. Yeah. He's got podcasts now. I found it difficult when I was talking to him because he's private, but he's a charmer. He kind of performs, and you have to figure out where you're going to get just a little kernel of something personal. It doesn't just come out. Do you find that to be true for most people or no?

Well, it just depends what people want to talk about and where you want to go. I mean, it feels to me that if somebody has something, like if it happens organically, it'll happen, you know, but you can't be he's so scrutinized for so long for his whole life and he was so young yeah that his habit is to to protect himself yep exactly right yep yeah but you don't feel that do you feel that for yourself having been started that long ago I didn't I I didn't I don't have to deal I didn't deal with what he had to deal with right it's very different being a huge oh it's such a. Being a huge, yeah. At such a young age. There's so many aspects of it that I think that you preserve your privacy as much as you can.

And having children, I can understand that now. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, you don't get a lot of flack, do you, anymore? Flack meaning? I mean like the Mike Pence thing, but there's not, you don't. No, but no. No, not nearly.

But I never really got flack. I just get followed by paparazzi a lot but not flat why do you think you why did they choose you two actors together oh so it's a freak show to them yeah i think that if i was to be with like an engineer or you know whatever like a money guy yeah and, and also, right, okay, that makes sense. So do you think, what do you think was the big turning point for you in terms of like, was Sarah Marshall a big turning point for you? Yeah. Because it was the shift to movies? Yeah, yeah. And you were good in that.

Thanks, Mark. I appreciate it. That was almost really believable. What are you talking about? I like that movie. I like Jason. I like Kristen. Yeah.

The shift to films, though, that was exciting? like Jason. I like Kristen. Yeah. The shift to film. So that was exciting. Well, it was, it was a conscious. So here's what happened. So 70 show was ending and then I had to make a decision. Right. Do I go to college and do something with my life or do I start taking acting seriously? So that was, it really was a hobby in your mind. I'm not kidding you.

It really was a hobby. Well, it was like, you know, I do this while I i also go to school if i didn't look at it as a hobby i don't know if i would have gone through the public school system of los angeles i think i would have just legally emancipated myself and called it a day and done a career at 16 right um so yes so i so i asked my parents for permission yeah and i was like hey look can i defer from school i'll go back i promise i'll go back. Can I just defer and give this a shot? And I was at LMU at the time. And I didn't even go a day to LMU. But I was like, okay. What's LMU? Loyola Marymount. Oh, yeah. And my parents were like, okay, well,

if you're gonna make this a career, then you got to start taking this seriously. Yeah, what does that mean? Exactly. And I was like, yeah, totally. I don't know what that meant. And so I was like, I got this. And then I, you know, 20 years ago, no, 15 years ago, it was a little bit of different industry. It was like, if you came out of television, then you were stuck in the television bubble. And if you came out of film, you weren't going back to TV. Right. And so both of those things have changed.

Everything's changed. Yeah. So at 20, I was like, you know what? I want to do something different. Yeah. And they're like, well, you should do television. And I was like, I don't want to do television. I have 70 years ending. I want to try something different yeah and they're like well you should do television and i was like i don't want to do television i 70s ending i want to try something different yeah and so i had uh i can honestly say i had no ego and i auditioned for everybody and everything and i didn't really

care what i was auditioning for right and i met with judd at the time earlier for a different movie i didn't end up getting that movie but i had a lot of time like a lot of fun um riffing with it was seth rogan at at the time for a different film yeah for which movie for not the 40 year old virgin no knocked up

so when I met with by the way this is something that like I think they can attest to better than I can but I met for it didn't ultimately

end up getting it but had the best time riffing with Rogen yeah like a year later like less than he was like hey I'm doing this

table read will you come in and do a favor and do this table read it's for a movie called blah blah blah yeah than he was like hey I'm doing this table read will you come in and do a favor and do this table read it's for a movie called blah blah blah and I was like okay

so sometimes you just do table reads for people it's not that big of a deal so I went and did the table read very different group of people were at the table read it's for Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Forgetting Sarah Marshall it's a whole bunch of different people the only person that was consistent was Siegel so we did the table read cut to seven months later

they green light the film. And I think that they must have gone through other actors. I don't even know. Yeah. Ultimately came back to me and they were like, hey, would you want to be a part of this? And I was like, oh, yeah. I mean, it was like Judd Apatow and the height of Judd Apatow. Right.

It was amazing. You did it in Hawaii? Yeah. It was like summer camp. Yeah. At the best time ever. But then after that film, everybody wants to put you into a box of just doing like those type of movies so it was like okay so now you just do romantic comedies right and i was like no because i i didn't want to be one specific thing because

it's so easy to get stuck in a in a place where everybody assumes you're something and then all of a sudden when they're sick of you there you're done because you haven't proven yourself elsewhere so i was like no i'm gonna do something else so i went and did other projects before i went back to doing another romantic comedy yeah like well you did some weird ones that book of ui was that what it called yeah book of eli was genzel washington yeah i know that was crazy extracts a weird movie extract was awesome yep that was great mike judge my judge and jason bateman but black swan's great black swan but black swan darren I well again better talk to Darren about this

but I feel like Black Swan happened because of Sarah Marshall I think he saw me in Sarah Marshall and then was like oh and we Skyped I never read for

or interviewed or whatever auditioned for Black Swan we Skyped I was in LA he was in New York and we ended up just talking

talking about the character talking about the script talking about other things and I think he saw me out of Sarah Marshall and was like alright but it's a different role

totally different totally different well what do you like okay because I act a little bit and you're telling me And I think he saw me out of Sarah Marshall and was like, all right. But it's a different role. Totally different. Totally different. Well, what do you like? Okay. Because I act a little bit and you're telling me you don't have any training at all. Training in the sense of like, do I follow like classical? Well, no, but I mean, it's like you just like, because you learned on the job, you've been doing stuff since you were nine.

You know how to be on a set. You know how to be on the set you know i do all these things and but in terms of like using uh your emotional um range and all that stuff that's just something that you can lock into because you know how to be present on a set yep right exactly no one you didn't do scene study you don't do any of that shit nope you didn't have a coach ever i did have a coach for which one i had coached my whole life i had woman named Kaylee Hummel, who's great, who's still around. She 100% helped me with auditions. Because auditioning is a very different art form than acting on a set. Right.

And so, absolutely, I used to have a coach. Her name was Kaylee Hummel. She was awesome. So, what's happening with this new movie? How come they didn't even give me a screening? Oh, because I just wanted to come on your show regardless of the movie that's the truth i was like whatever i'll just go do mark like i don't i don't care when and they're like why don't you wait to promote something i was like why who cares and so then i think that the timing worked out because i was

supposed to your show a year ago you were yes and then the timing didn't work out with your schedule um and it was just literally because of my girlfriends out over there they were like you have to do mark Maron show. And I was like, oh, good. What am I going to follow up Barack Obama? And then they're like, yeah. Yeah. Like, OK.

But so this movie, though, it's with McKinnon, right? Yes. So this is a spy with Dom Tomei. Wait. So am I really promoting it? Because when does when do you put out your podcast? Does it matter? I'll promote it.

Who fucking cares? So when is it coming out? August 3rd. Yeah, that's about right. Oh, check that out. Yeah. So look at that. It really worked out? August 3rd. Yeah, that's about right. Oh, check that out. Yeah. So look at that. It really worked out.

Spy Who Dumped Me. Two best friends on an adventure in Europe. So my boyfriend, played by Justin Theroux, is a spy. Yeah. He dumps me.

Yeah. Spoiler alert. And we go on this adventure to try to get a piece of information to somebody else in the middle of Europe. And it's what happens

when these two girls who have no spy training whatsoever get thralled into this you know espionage it's fun very fun

what they call like if 007 meets the bridesmaids yeah and she's fun to work with Kate? yeah have you interviewed her? no

so smart I don't know that I get the feeling she might not want to come on what'd you do? nothing oh why do you say that then?

I don't know because like why hasn't she been on? Well, I don't know. Do you know what I mean? Did you ask her? Yeah, we've reached out to her. We've talked to her.

I don't maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know either. I'll find out for you. Sometimes it's hard with the SNL people because they're in New York constantly and they're rarely out here. But I've certainly.

Okay, but wait. Have you ever interviewed SNL people while they were on SNL? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I don't think that's it. Oh, I don't know that. I believe that I have. I don't know if you have.

I must have. I don't know if you have. Really? Mm-hmm. Why? I don't know. I think they're very protective. I've interviewed Lorne Michaels when he was on SNL.

Well, that's different. He's the boss. I don't know if other people have. Think back about it. I don't know. Not a trick question, but I know they're very protective about the press that their cast um cast it oh really i don't know i wow i never thought you're a little bit controversial no i'm not yes you are what does that mean you pull shit out of people that they don't intend to talk i didn't pull shit out of you well no but i'm also very much an open book

are you i have nobody to answer to other than myself yeah well that's a nice place to be it's the truth so what what is it that you So what is it that you haven't done that you want to do if you love this business so much? Oh, we did the, like, oh, what was that movie about? The Ted movie that was the bear? Talking Bear. Yeah, with the- Seth MacFarlane. With Mark Wahlberg.

He seems like a- Have you not had Mark on the show? No, he's another guy. Like, I know Boston guys. I was in Boston a long time, but he seems- I feel like you're failing people. You should really get Wahlberg on the show. Mark is awesome. Yeah? I've done a couple movies he seems- I feel like you're failing people. You should really get Wahlberg on the show. Mark is awesome.

I've done a couple movies with Mark. I love him. He's great. He's like one of those male co-stars where you're like, you're so nice. And he's solid. Solid. Good actor. Delivers the goods.

But also has a work ethic of shows up to work, has his shit together, and wants to go home. Do you know what I mean? I really do respect that. But have you been on a lot of sets where people show up and they don't have their shit together? Not necessarily they don't have their shit together. They meander.

Uh-huh. Like, they're like, well, let's figure this out. I'm like, oh, good. Let's just fight. Clearly, they don't want to go home. That's what I like to call it. I'm like, don't we all just want to go home?

Like, let's work. Let's work the best that we possibly can. Let's put to call it. Yeah. Don't we all just want to go home? Like, let's work. Let's work the best that we possibly can. Yeah. Let's put out something awesome. Yeah. But like, let's go see outside. It's like, we all know what we're here to do. You don't like the exploratory process.

I like exploring and having fun while in the scene and doing great stuff. But let's not hold production for two hours to talk about why your character has to pick up that piece of paper. Just shoot it. Just pick it up. Shoot it both ways and move on see what happens yeah yeah it's not that big of a deal right pick this cube up you don't want to not have a deal just don't pick it up on the next day did you ever want to do theater no why it's not it's just not um i did a little bit of theater in la like i did by a little bit I mean I did one show yeah I don't know like the repetition aspect of it it's not something that excites me and I know that it excites me

doing it every night you mean yeah I mean doing a TV show is kind of like that because you get the live audience once a week so you get the feel of like feeding off people's energy

right movies aren't like that though not at all I love TV are you going to do another Bad Moms movie no really

it seems like something you could do every year if you going to do another Bad Moms movie? No. Really? It seems like something you could do every year if you wanted to. Does it though, Mark? Does it? People seem to like that. I love the writers off of it. Don't the ladies like it? Yeah. By the way, I loved it.

I love John and Scott so very, very, very much. I think it's time to hopefully work through them. Catherine Hahn's so good. Have you had her? Yes, I have. So here you go. I've talked to let, hopefully we'll see them. Katherine Hahn's so good. Have you had her? Yes, I have. So here you go. I've talked to Katherine Hahn. Because she's hip.

I've talked to Kristen Bell. I've talked to whoever. I've talked to as many people as I can. I'm not avoiding anybody. How often do you record? Twice. I had put two up a week. You know, there's two a week I do.

Yeah. So I'm recording. Sometimes people don't want to talk about themselves. Most people don't. Right. I clearly have no problem talking about myself. I'm like, what do you want to know? Let's get back to that question.

What is it that you want to do that you haven't done? I don't know. Really? I know I don't write. Do you want to direct? Have you directed? Maybe. I've never directed anything in my life other than my family.

But you're producing now so why why wouldn't you direct i might one day i really would i i think i just have to wrap my head around it it's just a very different tool that i've never used or a different muscle that i would have to retrain or work here's what you do you hire really good dp and ad yeah of course i i in fact i was like i know who i would hire but i uh yeah you start yourself with people that are smarter than you and better at you than you. But I, you know,

if the right project came along, for sure, I would actually probably do it. Yeah. But then, I also would want

to do something for the right reasons, not for the sake of doing it. Yeah. And what are you doing like politically? Are you doing

anything exciting? I try to be quiet politically. I really do. It's not something that I'm like super vocal about. You're not going to see me

being a pundit on CNN talking about what's happening in the world today. I also don't have social media, so it's not like... You don't? I don't. Was that a choice recently, or you never did? I never had it. You're so sane. Yeah. Ashton has it, doesn't he? Kind of.

He used to be incredibly involved in Twitter when Twitter first started in the beginning stages of Twitter. On the business end? Oh, you mean he was one of those guys that had a million followers at the beginning? He was the first person, yeah. Right. When he saw that Twitter was a tool that was used for the better of the world, and then all of a sudden Twitter became something completely different.

Right. I think he was like, he bailed. Yeah. But no, he's super tech savvy and has a huge VC fund and all that stuff. But he doesn't necessarily post on Instagram and Twitter every day at all. Oh, let's get back to something. And now I knew I'm a little foggy today, I guess. But I want to pick it back up. I'm so wide awake.

I got to tell you. No, it's good. It's working out for me. I'm glad you're carrying your end of this. I have to go to dance class after this. I'm very excited. You have dance class? Not for me.

For my kid. I got to go pick her up and take her to dance after you. How old is she? Three and a half. That's fun. I keep saying three and a half. You should go to dance class. I mean, I go with her. I watch to go pick her up and take her to dance after you. How old is she? Three and a half. That's fun. I keep saying three and a half. You should go to dance class. I mean, I go with her.

I watch her. But you don't, you should. I don't dance. I do yoga and Pilates. But you see, like there was a time. Yeah.

Where you would know modern dance. Yes. But I don't, I don't, I genuinely don't have time. But could I, if once both my kids

are in school and I don't have to go to an office. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know why I But could I if once both my kids are in school and I don't have to go to an office? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know why I decided you should be a modern dancer. I don't know. Okay, so you're a teenager. You're making out with Ashton on camera for the show.

Yeah. Nothing bad happens behind the scenes. No. Then you have a life. You date Macaulay Culkin for years, and then you're out of that, and then you have a couple other relationships. So how do you and ashton regroup and decide and and was there a moment where you like uh what what the why didn't we do this before like why i always felt this way about

you or no we never felt like this about each other ever and that's the truth i mean honestly that is the real truth it was not we always kept in touch we always um uh i chatted like aol used to have instant messenger and so we always kept in touch. We always, I chatted, like AOL used to have instant messenger and so we always kept in touch over instant messenger of like, anytime we popped up, we were like,

how is it going? How's life? Like, is everything okay? I mean, he was also in this weird, like, you know,

I think some of us during it were sort of like, what's going on over there that the Demi Moore compound? They had like a normal, real relationship. They had like three kids they were raising.

It was like a normal life. He was just like 20 years younger or whatever yeah whatever their age difference was yeah he was younger but he you know loved those kids yeah everything was just like he was does he still have a relationship with him oh that's nice um so we talked about that like how's everything everything good like a life is good and then we would like you know that's it yeah for however long right you know 10 years wow yeah yeah whatever it was what changes i have said this story but i'll give you the very quick view of what happened i'm sorry that no i'll tell you ready you don't have to give it we were at a award show and um i was backstage

and he was the first award up i was the second award up and so i was like having an alcoholic beverage and i was like looking around and there's a really beautiful man that like from the back. And I was like, what a very nice stature of a gentleman. Like I literally was like, ooh, he's kind of hot. I was single. And then he turned around

and I was like, oh my God, it's Kutch. Like I thought it was the weirdest thing that I was checking this guy out and it was somebody that I'd known forever. I went to his housewarming party and that was it. And then like two weeks later

after the housewarming party, he's like, you have to stop calling me Kutch. And I was like, fair. Totally fair. But when did you start dating? Three months after that. Well, no, that's not true.

We never dated. Hold on. Let me be clear. Ash and I hooked up. Literally, I did a movie called Friends with Benefits. He did a movie that was very similar, no strings attached. We lived our movies out where we were like, let's just hook up.

Let's have fun. We're both single. We both trust each other. Everything's great. Like none of us want attention. We just, you know. Yeah. Okay, great.

So we hooked up for three months and then just like our movies, one of us caught feelings and then went up to the other and was like, I have feelings for you so I'm going to walk away because I know that this is not

our agreement. Who caught feelings? Me. Yeah. I walked up to him and was like, you know what? I actually care about you and I don't want to mess anything up so I'm just going to walk away before it becomes too much. And he was like, got it.

And then the next day he showed up to my house and he was like, move in with me. And I said, okay. And so we never dated. We hooked up for three months and then we moved in together. And that was however many years ago. So that's sort of a real risk to say, you know, I have feelings and I'm going to walk away. It was our agreement. Did you really?

Oh, that was the agreement? Yeah. We're just going to fool. We're going to have fun. We're going to respect each other. But like, it's one of those things where once one, but we were always super transparent with one another. But what's the agreement? We're not going to get attached.

Once one of us starts having any sort of attachment feelings, have to start talking about it oh not not quash it not quash it you have to talk about it and then because that way the other person by any chance shares those feelings or not so we don't become resentful towards one another the second a feeling of like not just jealousy because that's a horrible thing to say but like actual care yeah well you i mean aren't you but you already had the care part. I didn't, I can't the care part, but we were both, um,

seeing my, I really hope my parents aren't listening to this, but like seeing other people, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah. And so the second that I started caring that he was seeing somebody else. Right. In that regard.

Right. That I was like, Oh, I, I, I all of a sudden had like the sense of like, Oh, like I felt like I got punched in the gut.

Literally overnight. Wow. He said something and sense of like, oh, like I felt like I got punched in the gut. Literally overnight. Wow. He said something and I was like, oh my God. And like, I felt it. Like, I was like, oh my God, I'm in love with this man and I have to walk away because this is not the agreement that we had. And so I'm going to speak up.

And the next day I came over and I was like, I'm just going to let you know when A, B and C happened, I know that I had all of a sudden a very different reaction to it. And I respect us and I respect you and so I'm going to bail. And I left the house. Oh, do you think you really could have bailed?

I mean, in retrospect. I left the house. Right. I did. I was devastated. I mean, I left and I bawled my eyes out. And then that was it. And then the next day,

whatever, seven, eight in the morning, he just showed up at my house. He showed up at my house and he was like, let's move in together. And I was like, you can't do this. It's too early for you. Because he was only up at my house he showed up at my house and he was like let's move in together and i was like you can't do this it's too early for you because he was only single at that point for maybe a year maybe a year and a half and he's dating other people too yeah and i was like you need to date other people he goes i'm not gonna lose you and i was like and that was it and now you've been together for i don't know we had six years i don't whatever it's been

wow that's a good story because I never really thought about this idea of like the transparency of like we're just gonna have fun

we're just gonna like you know no strings and if it gets one of us you know because that is sort of an approach

to dating and it seems more reasonable you just have to be honest it truly is all about being able to be honest and we both I know I fucked up in my previous relationships enough to know that, like, just fucking be honest.

Yeah. Because it's just so much less painful for your partner and for yourself. And I don't want to become resentful and I don't want to get into a place where I do something dumb again. And so I was like, fuck this shit. I'm just going to be completely, fully transparent. And he was the same exact way. be completely fully transparent and he was the same exact way and so it was easier for me to tell him that i uh that i was having feelings than to get to a place where i was resentful of the fact that he in my mind wasn't right good for you yeah and you've maintained that yeah um i have we

have i have never been more there's no version of our relationship that's not transparent there's nothing that either one of us doesn't know about the other person. I'm telling you, it was like the person that I was at 20 and the person that I was at 20 when he and I started dating, 27, 28, were two completely different people. Completely different people. And I'm so much more proud of the person that I am today than I've ever been of any other version of myself. That's good.

Yeah. And now you have kids who are growing up with those values and in that environment it's good well because i realized based on you know people always tell you learn my parents are always like learn from my parents actually learn from other people's mistakes not yours and i was like totally but that's impossible and so i when when having kids i really wanted to lead by example i know that that sounds super fucking cliche but there's no version of myself that was going to be different than the person that i wanted my kids to be yeah and i want my kids to be brutally honest yeah like i just do just be honest with yourself be honest with life be honest with other people and i wasn't for so long well they kind of are as kids anyways right

yeah and i want to sustain that like i want them to hold on to that yes yeah if you're like how does this look my dad will be like that's beautiful or i don't like it i I want them to have that. Yes. If you're like, how does this look? My dad will be like, that's beautiful. I don't like it. I never wanted to feel like she can't say that. Yeah. Or like, that's yucky.

I don't want to eat that. And I'm always like, cool, nicer way of saying it. But like, I get it, you know? Yeah. Well,

good. I'm happy that you're having this, uh, this time in your life. Honestly, I gotta tell you, being transparent in life is a lot easier. My company's fully transparent.

It is something that I never... Once I became a different person, when I made the conscious effort of I fucked up enough, I made enough dumb shit mistakes in my life that I shouldn't have made, that they would have been solved by just being honest, that I became fully honest with everybody. So much so that I'm probably tipping the scale. Yeah. Like the pendulum has swung and now it's probably. You have to pick your moments.

You don't want to be honest as a weapon or as a, you know, or hurtful. Yes. So it is swung that way. And now it's swinging towards like a medium of like just, you know. Right. You know, sometimes, you know, you can be honest, but you don't have to necessarily you can be honest but you don't have to necessarily say it yes i don't have to say the opposite though i don't have to lie right that's right that's what i'm learning yeah or started to learn when my head kids was like just because

i'm not telling i don't have to lie to not right yeah that's right yeah yeah sometimes it's you wait a little bit you know wait yes yeah but it's much easier to live life this way. I bet you it's more relaxing. It is. I don't have to remember anything. Right. You're not managing bullshit. No. Yeah.

There's nothing you can ask me that I might have to be like, what? Wait. What's the answer I'm supposed to give? Yeah. No. Good. It's nice. Well, it's nice talking to you.

Likewise. That's it. Spy Who Dumped Me opens in theaters friday august 3rd hope everybody's okay all right so again before i forget don't you forget to check out the new wtf shirts at pod swag.com slash wtf or the merch page at wtf pod.com I love these new designs, folks. They do some really cool stuff with our original logo. So go get one, would ya? I came out here all ready to play guitar. I was ready.

I brought the Telecaster out. But, uh, because I strung up the two Gibsons. And now I got the, I was going to, like, it needs strings. Because I just was playing it in preparation. I popped a string and I can't. I don't want to change it okay boomer lives I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talked to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company

competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. It's a night for the whole family. Be a part of Kids Night when the Toronto Rock take on the Colorado Mammoth at a special 5 p.m. start time on Saturday, March 9th

at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton. The first 5,000 fans in attendance will get a Dan Dawson bobblehead courtesy of Backley Construction. Punch your ticket to Kids Night on Saturday, March 9th at 5 p.m. in Rock City at torontorock.com.