WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Episode 988 - Brad Garrett

Episode Date: January 24, 2019

If Brad Garrett had to bet on it - and he likes to bet - he’s pretty sure he’ll die in Las Vegas. Which is appropriate because he grew up with an abiding love of Vegas and got his comedy start at the famous Desert Inn on the strip. Brad and Marc talk about how he went from being a six-foot-tall twelve-year-old with no friends to a guy on one of the world’s most beloved sitcoms and now the owner of his own comedy club. Brad also talks about the lessons he learned opening for Frank Sinatra, following Robin Williams, and being on game shows to boost his profile. And yes, of course he still loves Raymond. This episode is sponsored by Broad City and The Other Two on Comedy Central, the New York Times Crossword App, and ZipRecruiter. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated

category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Death is in our air. This year's most anticipated series, FX's Shogun, only on Disney+. We live and we die we control nothing beyond that

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Lock the gates! All right, let's do this. How are you, what the fuckers? What the fuck buddies? What the fucking ears? What the fucksters? What's happening? What the fuckettes? How's it going? I'm fucksters, what's happening, what the fuckettes.

How's it going? I'm Mark Maron. This is my podcast, WTF. Welcome to it. Oh God, I'm going to sneeze. Hold on. Oh, it didn't happen. Oh, I want it to happen so bad. God damn it, that's disappointing. Now I'm going to try to make it happen. Hold on. Just try to tickle it. to try to make it happen. Hold on. Just try to tickle it. Just try to get it out. Oh, it went away.

I was so close. I was so close. I was on the edge of a beautiful sneeze, and now it's disappeared. That is so unsettling. I mean, it's not a major tragedy, but how great are sneezes? It's a little bit shameful depending on how you handle it publicly, but internally a sneeze delivers, man. If you let a sneeze go, how great is it just to be outside? Have you ever just full on just didn't hold back a sneeze at all and just let snot and spit and that spray just come right out of your head out into the

world just because you're outside and there's no one around the free sneeze the the sneeze of freedom that's uh it's one of the it's one of the little things it's one of the great things it's one of the joys obviously if you're sick and you're sleeping and you can't stop it whatever but that that surprise sneeze or two out of nowhere when there's no one around and you're sleeping and you can't stop it, whatever. But that surprise sneeze or two out of nowhere when there's no one around and you're outside and you can just let it go and maybe blow your nose old style, like just right onto the ground, hold one nostril shut and then the other one if no one's around. Hey, even if there's someone around, you know, life is short. Fuck them. Let them judge. You know, I mean, Kleenex is a racket. It's a conspiracy. It's a it's a conglomerate. It's a large business. The Kleenex Corporation. holding the finger over the other nostril, blasting,

then just wipe it on your hemp shirt or your hide skin thing. Yeah, that's the way it was in the old days. People walking around, sneezing freely and spreading disease. That happens now, primarily in work environments, not small villages. I guess that's sort of a small village. Oh, look what happened. I didn't do the professional thing I was planning on doing initially, which was tell you that Brad Garrett is on the show today. Come on, sneeze. Come on, give it to me. Give it to me. Give me something good. Give me something good. Nothing. Well, Brad is on the ABC series Single Parents. It's on Wednesday nights, 930.

It's going to be in a movie coming up called Gloria Bell with Julianne Moore. And he's here. The interesting thing about Brad is that I didn't know him. He's not a stand-up that I, you know, he's been around for a long time, but he was not in the world I was in. I never saw him. When he was on the Everybody Loves Ray, Everyone Lo raymond i i didn't know him from stand-up but a lot of other guys did because he's a vegas animal he's a star search and vegas animal but like a pro like a guy's been at it a long time but i i just didn't know him i'd never seen his act didn't know where he came from or why

and i always liked him as an actor and now i got to know him and i think we had a we had a good comic talk jam which is something i do here do the comic stuff talk to the comics but i do want to hip you to my own uh dates we had a great time last sunday at dynasty typewriter here in los angeles it was uh a great show uh i did about an hour and 20 25 jackie tone from the show glow open for me with her with her musical comedy and she was great the audience was great. The audience was great. My new pal, Tracy Letts, showed up with his wife, Carrie Coon, the actress, and it was lovely. We're out there supporting each other. I'm going to his show tonight. Tonight I'm going. I'm going to see Linda Vista, the new Tracy Letts play here at the uh taper forum in los angeles i'm excited about it i'm going to the theater and i i'm i'm excited so we're going to each other's stuff isn't that fun

it's weird when you're old and you're uh you're trying to make new friends but uh you know we'll see what happens so what's the point the point is I've got several more of these dates, and I was encouraged by last Sunday. Some new material sort of took shape on stage, which is exciting for me. That's sort of the process of what I'm trying to do, sort of mold this hour or figure out what the through line is, explore some of the ideas that I have not quite pulled together yet in the way that i do it which is i get on stage and i move through it and hopefully out of sheer panic and fear uh and the need to be funny something will be delivered to me it way i will have the idea which will many times be kind of funny enough and then uh not where it's going to go. And then every once in a while, hopefully more so than not,

I will be delivered the next piece from the ether, from the muse, from the great collective unconscious where there's just Marc Maron taglines floating freely throughout the collective unconscious that I need to somehow kind of pull down and move through the vessel. Yeah. So Dynasty Typewriter here in Los Angeles, February 10th, February 17th, February 24th, March 17th. Those are the dates. I'll be at the Wheeler Opera House in Aspen, Marchrd and the Boulder Theater March 24th. Those are the dates I have available at this juncture. A lot of feedback came in from my Aaron Sorkin interview.

A lot of people love that interview and I'm happy, man. And I get moved by it because it's moving and because the type of impact that I can have just by talking about myself or engaging in conversation with you is it's a real thing. The subject line on this one is Marin saved my life. Who'd have thought? and saved my life, who'd have thought? Almost a year ago, I was driving from Atlanta back home to Tulsa on a week-long cocaine bender full of wild debauchery that my mid-30s body was finding increasingly difficult to maintain. I had one plan in mind when I got home, drink myself to death. Enough was enough. At some point during the drive, Comedy Central Radio played a short clip from one of your stand-up specials. The one where you recall nights twacked out on coke thinking you were going to die, juxtaposed against your current level of anxiety where you decide you're just going to ride it out. It made me laugh so hard in this weird sort of visceral comedic truth limelit with the realization that the joke

is only good because you were able to come out on the other side. Meanwhile, I'm right in the thick of it. Laughter turns to nervous chuckle, turns to sigh of despair. I didn't really know who you were aside from a vague memory of listening to you talk to Terry Gross, but now you had buried yourself in my head and I couldn't stop thinking about that joke. When I got home, I decided to grant myself a stay of execution so I could watch Marin on Netflix and see what you were all about. It was hilarious, but it also got me thinking about my life and if there was a way out that didn't involve death. I mean, if someone as neurotic as you could stay sober for that long, maybe I could do it too. The fourth season was like a ghost of Rumpelmintz future for me.

I walked into AA the next day, red-eyed and hungover, but I was there and I was alive. I'll be celebrating a year's sobriety in March, all thanks to a chance three-minute snapshot bit from a comedian I hardly knew anything about. I just happened to hear it on the worst day of my life while flipping through an endless category of satellite radio stations, and it had a profound impact on me. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for your honest and fearless humor. Thanks for being real. Boomer lives. And when I read that, it's like, you know, I feel like I helped. I feel better. I feel like I did service. I feel like I might have saved a guy's life for now, but not in a self-aggrandizing way.

That's the way that we sober people do. And, you know, it makes me feel like, you know, I'm here for a reason. And I just want to wish him, say congrats. Congrats to Jay. Stay with it, man. Stay with it. Oh, yeah. I want to tell you about Hunt Sales' record. Hunt Sales.

Hunt Sales was on episode 423 of wtf and hunt sales is somebody that i i tracked down back in the day in the uh in the in the first few hundred episodes but that was 423 wow man i mean there was such i i got people in my mind and i was like i gotta track him down hunt sales is he was the drummer uh on Iggy Pop's Lust for Life. And when I talked to him, you can go back and listen to the interview. Him and his brother were the rhythm section on Lust for Life. And they were also the rhythm section on the Bowie Tin Machine records. But he also started very young when he was in his teens with his brother,

playing for todd run grin on i think runt uh but they but but hunt was this sort of mythical figure to me this like you know hardcore uh rock drummer hard-living uh jewish drug warrior that i was always mildly obsessed with so i had to go track him down. I literally had to go figure out. I heard he was in Austin. I heard he was alive. And I went and found him.

You know, he's a guy that has struggled, you know, years with addiction. But was just this signature goddamn fucking rock drummer, man. I mean, the opening drum riff on Lust for Life. Who doesn't know that? And how does it sound so specifically him? But he's just an animal on those drums, man. So he actually has his debut album out that was sent to me. It's heavy.

It's personal. It's a rock record. It's his band. And I remember when I was in austin looking around and i you know looking for a hunt and i saw you know uh listings for the uh for the hunt sales memorial and i thought i missed him i'm i i got here too late but that's actually the name of his band uh it's the hunt sales memorial it's coming out tomorrow, January 25th. It's called Get Your Shit Together. So support one of the old drug warriors who's still at it.

He seems like he's sober. I haven't talked to him lately, but I'm happy to give old Hunt some love for his new record. So go do that if you want. You hear that in the background? The sound of a truck reversing yeah it's construction time on my street i guess uh i helped this guy out the guy who just moved in across the street from me he's got kids and you know he wanted a street light for some reason there's this one spot on

the other street that i'm not on the the street on the other side of the house it does no street light and it's sort of dark right there. And for some reason, just because it seems to be the one dark patch in this entire neighborhood, strange people sort of sit in their cars over there doing God knows what. Every neighborhood I've lived in, I haven't been that far away from, what are they doing over there? Why are they just talking?

Why do they park there i've always been pretty close to that but at other times it's sort of like i know what they're fucking doing just don't get involved there's that a little more definitive but uh but this guy petitioned the city he had he had me over a nice guy And he was trying to get some names together to get the city to put a lamp there, a street lamp. And it's happening. And he texted me to thank me, and now we'll see. We'll see what happens. Maybe it'll just provide more light for those people who are parking there.

What are they doing? Oh, I see what they're doing. That's not good. You're right. That's not good. That's going to be done. That's not good. You're right. That's not good. That's going to be done. So other good news. Sarah, the painter, got a stellar review in the Los Angeles Times for her current show that is up at Gallery Honor Frazier here in L.A.

through the beginning of March. If you want to go see the genius, the colors, the paintings, the collage, the stained glass, glass the painted floor you can go do that uh i'm very excited for her and proud of her and uh i mean this review was fucking all good like having been reviewed before and knowing that intelligent reviewers which this guy was you generally will put one sentence or a paragraph in there where you go like, I don't know if that sounded smart, but it's not nice. That's not a good... I can't tell if he's saying something good or it should hurt me. I feel uncomfortable. There's always one of those paragraphs, not in his review. So that was nice. So Brad Garrett is here. I was excited to meet him and talk to him because I wasn't really familiar with his comedy.

I'd never met him before. I love I think he's very funny guy. I always like his acting and stuff. And but this was a real deal comic talk. Brad is currently on the ABC series Single Parents, which is on Wednesday nights at 9.30 Eastern. He's also in an upcoming movie, Gloria Bell with Julianne Moore. And here he is talking to me right here in the garage. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats.

Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goal tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials.

Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category.

And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. you live all the way on the west side yeah i'm way out like malibu like north north i'm like far. Oh, really? Do you live on Bob Dylan's property? I do.

I do. Yeah. Doesn't he own most of Malibu? That's what my understanding is. No, no. Those are the old days. Oh, really? Those are the old days.

I heard he still owns most of it. No? He could. Whatever happened to him? Yeah, he's out there living the life that he's designed for himself. No kids, no wife? No, he's got plenty of kids. Okay. He's got, I think, at, he's got plenty of kids. Okay.

He's got, I think, at least one wife, if not two. Right. And I think he's just decided that, and I think it's conscious that I'm going to die in a hotel room outside of State Fairgrounds where I just play. Oh, I would love that. Would you?

That's my dream. Is that? Anything that gets you back to the circus. Yeah, well, I think your version of it would be a room in Vegas. Yeah, it would be. Yeah. Which everyone knows I'm going to die in Vegas somewhere. You have died in Vegas.

Many, many times. You know, it's funny. I was going to say that, but I was like, I can't be that hacky in front of Mark. That's my biggest dream. You set me up. I took it. I took the bait. There you go.

So Malibu, though though is that you grew up in this you grew up here i grew up in uh san fernando valley i'm a native yeah so malibu was always like growing up that was always like that that was a dream and we'd go over the tunnel and over the canyon and uh not over the tunnel through it wow you spent a little time in new york too i guess yeah exactly i've always felt like in new york my dad was from the bronx right the first time i went Not over the tunnel, through it. Wow, you spent a little time in New York too, I guess. Yeah, exactly. I've always felt like New York. My dad was from the Bronx. The first time I went to New York, I was 18.

I never really dug to California. I never fit into the vibe. Well, no, if you're sort of genetically East Coast and it's your parents are first generation, one of them, it's going to absorb into you because you have family back there, right? Yep. So when you were a kid you'd go see the Jewish tribe? No, actually they all came out here. I did have family left

in Pennsylvania, but everyone's pretty much gone. My family's pretty much... But when you were a kid you didn't have relatives in New York? Well, it was... No, they were in Pennsylvania and they always wanted to come east. Where in Pennsylvania? Downingtown. Downingtown, Pennsylvania. What's that near always wanted to come east. Where in Pennsylvania? Downingtown, Pennsylvania.

What's that near? Near the Amish. Oh, really? It's about 90 minutes out of Philly. Oh, so the Jews, they thought the Amish looked familiar? They liked the hats. They liked the hats and the free dairy. Yeah. So they were there a lot.

But the horse and carts, they didn't understand. They didn't. That seemed a little old-fashioned. Why the schmeck and the smell? What is with the knife? You got the knife and the incense so you're running you're running one extreme to the other you got anybody you got it you got to embrace all sides of yourself and it's all right here the broken hammer which implies i'm not great with tools the dice which are large and silly because i'm not a gambler the knife in case you know a guest wants to hurt me sure the crystal ball these are all

you know tchotchkes that i've so they mean something it's just not stuff they all have meaning well they've been on they were on the original they i just accumulated a lot of stuff over the years doing the show and this is the new garage and it's not as cluttered as the old one and it's not as put together because i still have to do some work in here sure but the other one was kind of like massively cluttered but but I kept a little clutter. Probably mustard. It was mustard. You had a little mold.

A little mold. Yeah. Right? Spider webby, musty. Oh, gosh. The old one was. You've never gambled? I have other problems.

Like what? Well, I've been sober for 19 years. I have 21. Oh, congratulations. So I had the cocaine, the alcohol, the pot. But the gambling, I'm just of the, you know, I never understood the rush of it. Now I understand that the rush is. Usually you didn't like when you got clean, you didn't replace it with something else.

You didn't feel you had to. Well, I'm right now. I'm back on nicotine lozenges, which I'm compulsively doing. You know, sex was important for a while. It was too for me. Diminishing a bit yeah not because like i'm just i'm with somebody and as i get older disappointment why disappoint two people well well but you know are you having a problem with the with the one-eyed liar no not

really no i'm just i i'm on to myself in the way that like i'm with the person you know i don't need other people but there was a period where I needed as many people as possible. Yeah, was that during your addiction when it was? Well, it was more during the divorce, Brad. You know, that's why. Well, being married makes you need other people. Yeah. I think. What I was trying to figure out looking over, like, the first thing is I don't think we've ever really met, which is odd.

Right. And that you're about about you're the generation just ahead of me i'm i'm 55 what are you 58 so like you i did i don't think it's a generation no no but you're just a different like who are the guys you started with oh let me see i started with uh where'd you start the improv at the uh ice house in the improv right i said the ice house was my my place. I do the Ice House now sometimes to work shit out. It's great.

It's almost cheating. Even I could go over there. Oh, sure. You could kill them. I'm with my shit. If you don't kill at the Ice House, there's something wrong with you. But let's go back first. So you're in Woodland Hills.

You're being brought up by Jews. Right. You've got Jewish siblings, I imagine. I had two brothers yeah they're both gone they're both i lost unfortunately my brothers early early on a cancer i just lost my other brother who ran my club in vegas uh in may oh my god the blue six weeks after being diagnosed so that was a nightmare we're very close yeah i'm sorry man thank you man and then my other brother was a huge smoker he He went 10 years ago.

I was the youngest of three boys. So I'm next. I'm next. That's one way to look at it. It's been, yeah. And soon, did you say? It's been, I'm thinking soon. I mean, you know. But so when you were growing up,

I mean, you weren't in a show business family. No. Well, no, we weren't. Well, my stepfather was a good guy. I swear to God, it's been a mini-Holocaust. I lost my mom, my stepdad, my brother, like, within a year. Where's the real dad? Well, my real dad passed about 10 years ago from cancer.

But he had beat it 20 years. So my parents were divorced when i was like seven oh that's raised by both of them but my mom bless her uh you know yeah not a little out of her body oh yeah what i mean no not exactly well you know uh suffered from massive uh depression lived in her bed right a lot of pills oh really and my dad um uh you know we were very very tight and uh spent even though there was divorce I spent a lot of time with him and he was he was the more um grounded in my family he was only bipolar oh good yeah so not a complete depressive there were some exciting times yeah there were exciting times it's like it's two in the morning

he'd wake me he'd go let's buy a boat which we did he literally woke me at two in the morning i was 11 at the time and he's went hey i want to buy this boat and i said it's it's a true story i said okay when he goes let's go look at it now and i said it's two in the morning and we drove from the valley to oxnard yeah and uh i go well there's no one here he goes no no we'll we'll just look at it yeah and uh he literally got the you know he's from the bronx right so he goes come on hop the fence with me and i went there's no hopping of anything and we looked at the boat and he bought it two days later and we lived on it he was six five yeah and i was six eight you know at at seven right and we lived on this boat where we couldn't stand and i lived with him through high school on it and it was where

in oxnard uh no he he parked it somewhere else tell me it was in the water marina del rey it was well you know he dry docked it because he bought a boat that was 60 years old right that had issues yeah why why would he make it easy so you lived on the boat when it wasn't in the water uh no well a little time when it was dry docked yeah because he didn't want anyone to take it no i go how they get to take it was you know there was stuff there bless his heart i go how do you take a boat if it's not in the water anyway right so then it was moved to marina del re where he compulsively worked on it. And I'm not handy.

He was very handy. Hence your hammer. Right. And he was like, he talked kind of like this. Yeah. And then we got to get up and we got to varnish. And then we're going to wet sand. And it was the only Jew that knew how to varnish.

It was amazing. And so we lived on that boat for about two years until I went, I love you, but I got to get out on my own. So he was really bipolar. I come from some bipolar myself. He was bipolar. Very exciting and scary. It's scary. And we didn't know for years.

We just thought he was provocative and impulsive and fun. And occasionally didn't want to live for weeks. Yeah. Yeah. And then there was that. But the mom't want to live for weeks. Yeah. Yeah. And then there was that. But the mom was on a total, God bless her, she was on just a real death march from the beginning kind of hiding. And it was tough. And, you know, so much of this shit is hereditary.

But wait, but she was able to remarry. So she must have gotten out of bed enough to find him. Well of bed to to well you know the third husband was like third great the woman's oh my dad was married six times your dad was married six and your mother was married three yeah uh-huh yeah six times i'm fine on the boat uh no not on the boat once on the boat yeah uh five times uh four times on land and then another one when he was actually, he was levitating. And he was like my best friend and really the only one that came to my aid

because my mom, bless her, it was, you know, as I got older, I'm like everyone did the best she could, but it was a carnival. It was a fucking carnival growing up. And I had two older brothers that were smart enough to get out as soon as they could. Everyone moved out as soon as we could.

Well, I moved out with my dad, to my dad when I was 16. To the boat. To the boat, but I was with him all the time. But then when I was 18, I went, I can't do the boat anymore. Did he have a job, this man? Oh yeah, my dad worked hard his whole life. The last 22 years, he sold hearing aids.

Yeah. He was a brilliant salesman. He never finished junior high, but he could do my high school math, but couldn't tell me how. Yeah. He would like do, I was terrible. He would do my- He'd help you with your homework, but it couldn't explain the process. He couldn't explain it, but he would know the answers.

Right. And it was really odd. He was a little bit of a savant with math. I wonder how he settled on hearing aids. Well, he was in sales his whole life. Right. He was an incredible salesman. Old school. Old school. When I was nine years old, we drove out to Apple Valley, which was out in the desert. And he went, I'm selling all this land and i went well you know the indians will never buy it you know i had no idea what he was doing yeah but he ended up selling land and

parcels in the middle of one of those development things which to this day is is not even uh i don't think it's happening it's pretty empty my father's trying to sell me two parcels that he got suckered into by someone like your dad. And where are they? He's in New Mexico, so they're out in New Mexico. I'd love to see them. Oh, you want to? I would like to look at the parcels. You know what? I've got the information on my phone.

Are they near the, you know, I love the Native Americans. Yeah. Because they're drinkers and gamblers like me. We'll get you in the casino. You'll do a deal. You know I've been actually banned from a couple Indian casinos because of my rhetoric. There have been a couple where I'm not invited. You mean you were racist?

Yes. Okay. Yes. That's what it is. I found that, you know, I don't look at it as race. You know, when I started, you know, unfortunately, there's stuff of me out there that it can't be hackier. And I found my voice in stand-up about 20 years ago where I'm just an angry Jew. Yeah.

You know. Doing voices. Doing voices. Yeah. You know, it's like, what if Cosby was a rapist? You know, oh, wait. Yeah. You know.

So you've updated that. I've updated. That wasn't the original job. He used to be a pilot. Yeah. I can't tell you how funny that was. He used to do a Cosby and then he sort of, now you can't do the Cosby. Yeah, I do it tell you how funny that was. He used to do a Cosby and then he sort of,

now you can't do the Cosby. Yeah, I do it more. You do it? I open and close with it. As a rapist? Yes. With the people. You know,

and Ray's like, and Ray's like, you know, why don't you just try writing? It's just right. You know, and then it's a. Keep it tight.

Ray keeps it tight. He's a craftsman. Oh, he is. He is a craftsman. You know, I go out there and make fun of the front row and I go upstairs. Do some crowd work Keep it tight. Ray keeps it tight. He's a craftsman. Oh, he is a craftsman. I go out there and make fun of the front row and I go upstairs. Do some crowd work for 40 minutes and go, that's it. Should I do a joke?

I think we're done. I'm telling you that's what I do. And I'm telling you someone I admire. What is that, iced tea? Yeah. That's nice. I wouldn't give anyone, but you just went for water. I guess I didn't make the- It wasn't offered, to be honest.

It wasn't offered. I said, do you want something to drink? And I didn't give you options. And you just said water would be nice water and i let it go i let it stay at that i've only got a little bit of iced tea left and you know you can go fuck yourself just because you're but okay so what is this style craftsman is it is a craftsman it's fabulous it's not it's a unique craftsman because it looks sort of like a Cape Cod house. It has a Cape Cod thing. Yeah.

I'm into architecture very much. So now you've got your dad. We'd like to help you with the molding. I don't know if you're going to finish any of the crown molding. I would do some detail on this. We're going to do some sanding and some varnishing when we're done. I wish you'd start with the bow and the spinnaker part. Oh, I wish you could have known me then.

I needed a friend, Mark. You did? I needed a friend. I didn't have many friends. You didn't? Why? Because you were tall and awkward and your parents just left you to raise yourself? Literally, kind of.

I was six feet at 12 and I'd smell my fingers. So there isn't a lot of place. Oh, let's invite him over. Yeah, yeah. And I think that was it. If you're six feet at 12 and you're not a jock. Was there a concern that you might have acromegaly at some point? There was no concern.

They were hoping for it out of all the other things I could have. Maybe we'd get him in the circus. Yeah, there was a thing. I was fascinated by the circus. Yeah. So out of all the things, you decided that you're not a salesman? Did your dad want you to be a salesman? Well, we're all salesmen.

I know. Aren't you a salesman? Yeah, but. I mean, who buys our act anymore? Yeah. No, I don't know. But you're not a salesman? Did your dad want you to be a salesman? Well, we're all salesmen. I know. Aren't you a salesman? Yeah, but... I mean, who buys our act anymore? Yeah. No, I don't know. But you're good. You're a writer.

I don't think... I improvise more than you think. I do all my writing on stage. I corner myself to where I have to be funny and then I make note of it. Yeah. Yeah, apparently you just...

See, that's what I do. No, that's what I... I don't deliver, but I corner myself. I corner myself. No, you corner yourself. I walked two people in my own club the other night. Yeah.

They were all the, you know, the Raymond fans will come out and they think it's funny Robert. Yeah. You know, and I'm out there going, you know, go to the Titanic exhibit. They have your luggage. You know, I'm zetsing like this. Yeah, zetsing. You know, zetsing is really my thing. Yeah.

And they, they, they were on scooters. They were, and they went out and they were literally in the audience on scooters they were and they went out they were literally the audience on scooters i go i've walked people i've never had anyone drive out i said this is i think as they were leaving you took a shot i was taking a shot i really as they were leaving would you do that would you do that i think at another time i uh you know like there yeah i can definitely do crowd work but there's no way for it not to be hostile. So like if it's not established as what you do and there's a warmth to it, you know, like I've never like I've always been I can do the crowd work. Right.

But if I really have a problem. Yeah. It's where a lot of people are going to be uncomfortable. And I'm going to put the audience in a position where like I don't think we're on his side on this. Right. Right. OK. You're right. I'm learning a lot the audience in a position where like, I don't think we're on his side on this. Right. Right. Okay. You're right.

I'm learning a lot. What do you mean? I'm learning a lot today. But if you do that, if you zits, is that what you call it? Zets. You're not a Jew.

I am a Jew, but I'm not that generation. You know, but my grandparents were three years older than you. I know, but I keep saying that generation because like, I have the sense that you grew up surrounded by a harder core of Jew than I did. I think your parents maybe are not of my parents' generation, is what maybe I'm saying.

How could they have not been? We're the same age. My grandmother spoke Yiddish, too. Why anger? Now why anger? What do you mean? No, no, no. My grandmother spoke Yiddish, so I wouldn't understand them.

So, you know, I've got some. I've got the standards. Sure. Schvitz, you know, spoke Nebush. But Zetz is another generation. Yeah, right. Zetz is another. Some people call it spritzing, right?

Spritzing. Spritzing. Yep, that's true. Right? Right. Okay. We've lost everyone. No, we haven't. There's three old Jews going like, I love this. Spritzing. Yep, that's true. Right? Right. Okay. We've lost everyone. No, we haven't.

There's three old Jews going like, I love this. Yeah, right. And they just fell asleep. But so why, so your brothers are out, you're on the boat, you're 18, your father doesn't say go to college, your mother doesn't wake up and give you some advice? I went to college for no it was it was tough with mom i it was uh there really wasn't advice we were we were kind of like yeah it was it was a thing that you know i used to have huge guilt if i never taught if i ever talked poorly

about my family and parents so i never you know i i always so you take it on other people in wheelchairs yes uh scooters scooters sorry Scooters. Sorry. You draw a line. They were fat. They didn't want to walk. Oh, it wasn't. They didn't have a problem. They were just fucking big and lazy. Oh.

I hope you added that as they were going out. I did add that. Oh, good. I went, yeah. And did you walk other people or were they in the only two? I walked two to four a night. There's actually an over and under bet from the staff. I know you don't gamble, but you know what over is and under is.

Well, that's where we started with gambling, but now we're somewhere else. And you started to say that your stepfather may have kind of been in show business well you're how do you remember that shit it's my job right now it's my job okay he was a uh band leader like a society band leader he would do like bar mitzvahs and weddings oh an event band leader an event bath not not arty shaw uh wannabe arty shaw type of guy yeah uh and he would but he was very he was very multi-faceted he did a man of la mancha tribute oh where he would actually put on a knight's helmet and a sword and a shield i have pictures but how big a band was he operating well because it was an event like you say he could have a trio he could have a big band but he wanted to really be

an actor you know and uh when i got on raymond yeah he was uh he he really again a kind man but no social skills he would he handed out his card all right when he would come to the show sure he would hand out the card. Which is always a good thing. And Ray was like, hey, I love music. He wouldn't even block it from me. Sure, sure. And he gave a card to Peter Boyle.

He goes, if you ever need a... And Peter wanted to hit him. Yeah, yeah. If you ever need a what, a band leader? Yeah, and so it was a little, there was no boundaries. Right. I think that was the biggest problem with growing up. There were no boundaries.

That's what I relate to, and I think that's something we have in common, and that and the addiction and the Jewish thing. But being with parents that are insanely needy and without boundaries and just kind of blow through you all the time to where you can't even put yourself together, I think that comedy is a way to own your space you know like this is my space i have control here if you're gonna fuck with me i'm gonna fuck with your back yeah that's pretty brilliant and out of 35 years of therapy yeah maybe more so no one's ever put it like that now you're done i am we did it this

is now i'm being very honest. This is a little cathartic for me. This is strange. I do have to say. I may need to do a walk around. I'll just. Be careful of the guy with the saw out there. No, but that's really, I think, what it was.

I became very controlling because my childhood, there was no control. Yeah, you have to. You must be very controlling i can tell things no no i don't think i i don't think i am i think you are i think that what like i still boundaries are still difficult you know because we want to be you know you you want the natural thing i think when you don't have boundaries is like if you run into somebody like your father a strong personality like i want to hang around that guy right it's just naturally just wandering through the world like a lost child you know looking for people and in show business you can sort of find

that you know there's big personalities everywhere but but the the stand-up thing when i look back on it for myself was sort of like i need to figure out who i am and i need my own space i just wanted to be in front of people you know it was sort of weird yeah that is very weird but it's a very guarded trip you know what i mean have you done a lot of therapy no but i think about it a lot you've never done no i've done therapy sure but not enough i can see uh i think i think i've done enough see you got no one did you it's like no kids and no wife yeah so i have a lot of time to think about this you have a lot of time to think about this stuff. You have a lot of time, but you must be incredibly

not only rich, but happy. Are you lonely? I'm not Brad Garrett rich, but I, you know, it's a different... It's all going. Are you lonely? No, no, I have a girlfriend. I'm not lonely.

Is she here? No, she's painting. She's a painter. Pictures? lonely or no no i've i have a girlfriend i'm not lonely and you ask me can i see her can i is she here no she's uh painting she's a painter pictures or or like the wall you're getting done outside yeah did you meet her she looks like a man she has a roller right yeah she's a very did she do that painting when i walked in no uh but she is an abstract painter she's very lovely abstract like the one you have in the hall yes Yes, it's great. It's great. Pretty, pretty amazing. You can wrap your brain around it. Well, I'm very much into art.

Yeah. I like more of an old Barbizon type of old European style. Oh, yeah? If you will. I like old, old, you know, everything I couldn't relate to. You know, old. Sure, sure. Not that I can't relate to naked fat women do you have any

of the uh do you have any uh leroy neiman prints uh yeah only one of ali do you have that one no uh the roulette game actually this is my gambling you know i almost bought one when i was like 25 sure i started to make a little money oh of, of course it did. It was in the gift shop at the Desert Inn. And I went, they were selling mink stoles. This is 86? Sure. Mink stoles and Leroy Neiman Prince. Yeah.

And I literally, I said, is that an original? And they said, no, but it's numbered. Yeah. And I went, I'll take two. I got 18 and 19. Gave one to Bubby. Did you? Yeah.

She didn't know what it was. She thought it was Baccarat. You know, again, a drinker. Your grandmother was? You know, I wonder. I know it was all the. And now my dad, you know, had no addictions except for craziness. Yeah.

But my mom was a pill person. But I remember my Bubby, when I was young, she would put her finger in her cutty sark and rub it on my gums. Yeah. But I was like 10. That's a common thing, sure. I was 10. And it was weird because she used to shtuch me again,

which means slip you something. Yeah. She would go, here, here, here, don't tell anybody. And give you $10? Meth. Meth, oh, nice. Back then. $10.

She made it herself. We are really. It's got the kugel of the meth. But it would be a dollar and a stick of juicy fruit. A 10. A 10 was. What? It'd be a dollar bill and a stick of juicy fruit.

Sure. It's gum. Yeah. Do you remember the bonds you got on your bar mitzvah? Did you get bar mitzvahed? Oh, yeah. Did you get any bonds? Oh, yeah.

I got bonds. Yeah, I got. I had some of those bonds they're worth like i i found them like like maybe 10 years ago and i'm like they gotta be worth a lot now nothing they stop really israel i got a lot of checks stop yeah israel bonds yeah well who would you know how do you invest in yeah but that's amazing you really had them that long what yeah i got a bit of a spending problem yeah i think because i took all my bar mitzvah money and I got my first car painted. You put it on red.

Yeah. Funny you say that. I painted the Pinto red. My first car was a Pinto Runabout, which was my father's car. See, a little difference. My first car was a Datsun B210. I'm telling you, the three years makes a difference. Boy, that was a cool car.

What? A Datsun B210. Not really. Compared to a Pinto Runabout where you couldn't go in reverse? What would you rather have now? The Pinto. Are you kidding? What are you talking about?

A Datsun had no real personality. A Pinto was like a Ford Pinto. They blew up. They were exciting. Yeah, they blew up. You couldn't go. What color? White or orange?

What? The Datsun was like a kind of shitty brown. Okay. Well, that's a combo if you think about a white and orange. But my friends had cool cars, but this is not the point. The point is the band leader, so you had some show business in your life, and what makes you gravitate? Did you try school?

What the hell happened? Well, I really did. You know, school was kind of my thing because I didn't have a lot of, you know, I couldn't really find my niche. So it was like, hey, I'll be good in school. And I busted my ass to be a strong B student. That's good. Yeah.

And then I got into UCLA and I left after six weeks. Yeah, what happened? I just, I couldn't hack it. And I was doing open mics. Yeah. And I was just all over the board. You were doing open mics then? Mm-hmm.

You do a lot of voiceovers, right? I do. Look how far you are from the mic. Seriously, just look at it. Well, if it was a quality mic, this would be perfect. It's a quality mic, but it's not, you know. I'm sorry. Well, you know, in a nice way, you could say,

can you sit a little closer to the mic? Oh, no, no, I overstepped. I overstepped. Like, I was an ass. You've got to really be close, huh? Well, you can pull it towards you. You don't have to be that close. You're good.

How's this? Is this good? Oh, my God. Look at you. Boy, I boy i'm gonna tell you there is a difference if i'm gonna if i'm gonna uh what is it that's me if i'm gonna zets i gotta be funny as that was a zets with no punchline i loved it no it was fucker don't know how to use a mic 35 years later which i love it i love why i love you it the best. I don't do it with everybody. I know. So, okay, so you're in college and you just start doing the open mics because of what? Well, I was doing stand-up in high school.

Again, you know, what if Cosby was a pilot? That started in high school. How did that bit go? No, well, we're going to lose an altitude. You know, it was never jokes. Yeah, yeah, it was just a voice. You got it right. Yeah.

But, and then I went to UCLA and it was just a voice. You got it right. Yeah. But, and then I went to UCLA, and it was really my dream. No one had gone to college in my whole family. Actually, my daughter is maybe the first, if she hangs in there, which looks like she will. Oh, good. But you didn't really stay long enough to even focus on anything. I didn't, and I wish I did. You know, again, I was very ADD. I'm sure I got shit. There's not a question, and I know you did. You know, again, I was very ADD. I'm sure I got shit.

There's not a question. And I know you know. You're just coming on that now? You're sure? I'm sure. I'm sure. I was sure before you got here. No, no, no.

I know that. I know. And you're right. And your candor means the world to me. I have to. No, it does. Because coming from you,

it's different than some Joe. You know, if you were a waiter, that would hurt me. No, it's a gift. It's a gift. Is that what you're calling it now it's a gift i have to keep saying right what's the other what's the other way to look at it it's like a mental illness one day yeah one day i'll be fixed yeah no no i stopped all that yeah no you embrace it and then you

decide how you're an asshole and you try to do contrary action you say like i'm about to be an asshole and then you try to stop yourself and and are you able to most contrary action. You say, like, I'm about to be an asshole, and then you try to stop yourself. And are you able to most of the time? Yeah, with certain behavior, yeah. Yeah, but not with the mic in the distance from the person who's talking. That's an issue. I'm sorry. Let me turn you up a little bit.

I lost that. See? I can't do that to the king. I can't do that to the king. What do you mean, the king? You're bringing it out of me. I love it. You're bringing it out of me.

Oh, I love it. I'm usually wide open. Why all the reading? You don't find that incredibly boring? Why do you mean the king of what? You're bringing it out of me. Come on, man. You're bringing it out of me. Oh, I love it. I'm usually wide open. Why all the reading? You don't find that incredibly boring? Why are you assuming I've read them? Oh, okay. I mean, the books, and you have like five, six copies of books, and you didn't even write them.

Oh, that's a book that I love, that book. And I interviewed the authors of that book, and I told them that I can never hold on to the book because I end up giving it to people. What is it about? Because I hate to read. It's the oral history of punk music in New York. So it's like that whole punk scene from Blondie, that CBGB stuff. And that you love.

Well, it's great. I like some of those guys. See, this is the thing. You're like, for whatever reason, the three years, somehow or another, you're listening to Sinatra. I'm listening to Johnny know uh uh johnny thunders what are you gonna do really and and and but that's it like what's your favorite music that's it i'm listening to ornette coleman i'm listening i listen to everything i've got like two three thousand records in there it's just a book that i like because uh you know i that period

is is um it's all the people that were involved in it and it's just oral history is written you know in conversations with all these different people okay so involved in it. And it's just oral history is written, you know, in conversations with all these different people. Okay. So you can kind of read it. Like Sid and Nancy? Are they in there? They were kind of in England,

but this is more focused on the New York. But their coming to New York is in there. Got it. Like the Talking Heads are in there. Blondie's in there. Sure. Okay. So you're doing stand-up in college and high school,

but you're actually doing open mics, and at that time you had to go to the club, right? You had to go down to the improv or the Laugh Factory or the Comedy Store on Monday nights? Yep. Really? This is pre-Laugh Factory even. Yeah, and I was, you know, I really wanted to do stand-up,

and it was weird. I got into UCLA back in the day when you could. I mean, I did not have that. I got into UCLA back in the day when you could. I mean, I did not have that, you know, I just worked really hard and I wrote something that got me into like the theater department and I went, this is going to be great. And I just, I didn't have, I didn't have the goods. I don't think I was, I don't think I had the college chops just to really, I got there and I'm like, you know. You're coming out of like an emotional war zone where you've been drained of your essence for your entire life.

You're on boats. You got a mother who can't get out of bed. Your father is calling you at three in the morning to tell you he just sold the house. And you show up at college and you're supposed to be able to deal with that? Maybe you're being too hard on yourself. I don't make excuses. No, you'd rather beat the shit out of yourself? People on scooters.

I'd rather take it out on them. But don't you beat the shit out of yourself? You did for years. I do. It's like a phantom limb now. I do it, but I know I don't need to do it. Phantom limb. Listen to you.

Genius. Right? It's like, do I need to do this why do i stink today actually look around it's okay i don't know is it do i need to do that well and how does the girlfriend uh understand all that well yeah she she gets uh you know it's funny you know when you you drive somewhere that you've driven before and you just drive there but when someone's in the car you go where am i going so like yeah there's a problem when you're with somebody you're going to you know become a fucking child and you know at age 50 not attractive you know right you know like 80 you know seven-year-old rage at age 50 is ugly right but but again i'm but i'm but i'm self-aware enough to where we work through it so they tend to get the best and the worst of it you know okay so she must be pretty pretty fucked up to have to deal

with fucked up or maybe strong and together and uh you know yeah you really care for her yeah because because you've defended her three times. Yeah. But because the thing is that you do, eventually, if you work on yourself enough, you'll attract one that will go like, I don't have to take this shit. And you'll be like, oh, yeah. Oh, you don't. You could. Yeah. Okay.

So I'll behave better. That's where I'm at for the first time in my life. It's hard, right? It is hard. It is hard. We've been together 10 years. Oh, boy my life it's hard right it is hard it is hard we've been together 10 years oh boy so it's almost over it's uh close to over this would be a good hopefully a good good way for her to hear it just to go just get some boxes and just just help me i won't be home for six hours you know this will be funny i'll post it and you'll be like i'm going

to be packing some stuff you want to listen to this great interview I did. Sure. Just time it just right. I like that. But like who's around when you start doing open mics? Any of the guys that you started with still around? Oh, let me see. Well, I had to follow Robin one night. Were at the store? I only did the store twice in my life.

That was enough too dark, too weird? Got to get out? It was just really fucking odd. Yeah. It was odd. But it was the Westwood store that was open for a short time. Oh, was that when Kennison was managing it? Yep.

It was. Yep. So it was a chaos. It was chaos. So you're like, I'm home. Yeah, it was. That's exactly right. And I followed Robin and they went, yeah, this guy just is on ABC.

You may have seen Mork and Mindy. And I've never seen a guy get a standing ovation in like eight minutes the middle of his act it was unbelievable and then i went on with a quaalude-o-matic yeah uh idea yeah it was really uh really i mean just you you walked into that energy vacuum i walked into that energy vacuum and there were only everyone left after him and then as they're bringing you up. Yeah. And then there were five left.

And you're kind of happy about it though. At that point, like, Oh, let him go. Let him just go. Yeah. Let him go.

Because why? And then the five that stayed, uh, yeah, it was just, but, but the ice house was my thing. And like you say,

it's a weird lesson though. Isn't it to learn that moment where you like you, you, there's no way you can jump on the energy of the person before you. You know, like, you might learn. No, when you're that guy, especially, right? You know, and you sort of learn not to bust balls of the guy leaving the stage, though I sometimes still do that. Right.

But it's a weird lesson that, like, you're going to have to take the hit. Right, right, right. It's sort of like, I'm going to do what i do and it's it's me it's gonna might be bad for a few minutes i learned that like three years ago only three years ago i see where did you start new york obviously right not really no i i graduated college um oh you went to college i did you enjoyed it yeah i did stay there five years yeah yeah yeah I did. I stayed there five years. Yeah? Yeah, I did. You know, yeah, it was all right. It was good.

Yeah, I did a lot of things I wanted to do. But I came out here, became a doorman at the comedy store. I got fucked up on cocaine inside a year. Left, went to rehab the first time, went back to Boston and started in earnest. So I would say really, in terms of learning how to do it, I started in Boston. So after rehab, you never fell off? Oh, no, I did. Okay.

All right. Took me until 1999 when I finally got sober to really understand how to recover. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yep. Do you still do the meetings and all that stuff? I do. I go, yeah.

You know, I get a little dry and I tend to stay away, but I try to get over there once a week to sort of ground myself a bit. You? I don't. I don't do the meetings. I've been a few times. I don't do the meetings.

But you're happy. I'm grateful and happy and it's all good. I started to go to the, and I know the meetings work, but after like three meetings, I was like, this makes me want to use. Oh no i get that but you know for me it's just sort of like that's the thing that's right you know you're sort of grounded in prioritizing the thing

you know what i mean it's sort of like and when i hear the stories i'm like oh it moves me yeah yeah the stories are amazing so you follow robin in westwood or was it another no it was westwood and that was only the second and last time I ever played. Was that the early 80s? What? Yeah, it was a actually it was 78. Wow. And you're like, what, 19?

18. I was just 19 actually. And then where do you land as a home club? When do you start to really lock in? I'm working at Fridays, working at tgi fridays out in the valley and i start at the well you must have a lot of a lot of buttons to fill that oh you wouldn't believe the buttons uh my favorite actual size that got a big laugh when i wore that one and uh yeah it was i had all the different hats sure yeah it was just uh but let's

go let's get well i want to get to Vegas because this is my assumption about you. Sure. Is that, you know, somehow or another, like, I think we grew up enjoying the same things. You know, like the first time I realized that I loved comedy was actually watching Jackie Vernon on television. Okay. And mine was Rickles. Yeah. And Rickles.

But also like your Merv Griffin show. Oh, you bet so like and i had a very much uh a love for that old guard uh you know the dean martin roasts buddy hackett i loved buddy hackett and then i got a little older and i got into carlin and prior and cheech and chong steve martin that was it that was all my yeah all my stuff, just like you said. Right, but I had this real kind of love for the kind of old Jewish show business. I worked with Jackie Vernon at an improv in Miami when they just started.

And it was owned by some shady people. Sure. And we didn't get paid. And we had to call Bud, because it was one of his, you know. Yeah, it was a franchise. Just leave and don't ask for anything. That's exactly what he said.

And I, you know, can't tell you how he needed the dough. And Jackie, a buddy came into mine who was selling fake watches, fake Rolexes, fake, and he was a guy that was a little shady, but they were beautiful, beautiful counterfeit watches. And Jackie bought six of them for like $90. And I remember me and Jackie sitting around. It's very funny. He was still doing his shit with the slides.

Yeah, yeah. And it was great, but we literally didn't get paid. And Bud likes, you know, what's up? I'll handle you when you're back on Melrose. Did he? He did. Oh, well, that's good. He made it right.

So when you start to do it professionally, you're working at Fridays, but when do you start to sort of really start star search is like kind of was my thing that got me going did you win yeah i did first year what year is that for 84 okay i won that and then i started opening i got you know back in the day that's when they use a lot of comics to to to open for a lot of musical that's interesting because That's interesting because the comedy boom was sort of starting and happening. It was a boom. But there was still that old,

because in the 70s, before there were franchise comedy clubs, all the guys that I talked to opened for musical acts. Sure. But you didn't have to do that. You could have went the club route, did you? I did both. Okay.

I did both, but I really got into, I opened for some big people in vegas and it just snowballed when did you but how did you know to go to vegas see in my mind like i don't go there now oh because i love it yeah see i think that's it like i loved what it represented when i was a kid but i don't i don't feel that day you like food i do yeah it's amazing but i guess my question is you had a. So you're working and you break on Star Search. You could have been on the road with the rest of whoever. We're not clear on who you started with or who you see as your peers in terms of when you started.

Who are they? Kevin Nealon. Okay. Who I love. Larry Miller. Okay. Larry, great. Yeah, amazing.

Dennis Miller. Oh, yeah, right. Started around those guys. Those guys. There were other guys, Michael Winslow. Sure. You know. But those are guys that really did and hammered the clubs as headliners.

Yes, they did. Yes, they did. Some party you found a home in Vegas as an entertainer. And my agent at the time helped. My agent was, you know, I was with a big agency, Cosa Star Search. And they put me with a couple of openers. And at that time in my life- Opening act. Yeah. Opening gigs. Yeah. Opening gigs. And I started out with like Diana Ross, Sinatra, Sammy Davis. In Vegas. In Vegas. At the Desert Inn? At the Desert Inn at Caesars. And

in those days, I was a little different than a lot of the openers. And I did a lot of crowd work, mostly because the main act. I got into crowd work because my main stuff wasn't great. And my crowd work just had a way of bringing them around because no one wants to see the opening act. And it makes it intimate. It makes it a nice room see the opening act. And it makes it intimate. It makes it a nice room for the main act. Right. And I would talk about the headliners and do jokes. And they liked that. And they liked it. And it started to just really snowball. I would go to Vegas a lot with

my father. My dad liked to gamble. And I saw it early and I fell in love with it. Gambling or Vegas? All of it. All of it, unfortunately. The good and the bad. Yeah. You know, I had a comedian at the club last week

when I was there named Mark Eddy, okay? And he brought, he flew in his uncle from LA who he was very close with who was 92. Wow.

And he ran the Fremont downtown. Oh, really? He worked for Meyer Lansky and he had stories, you know, I love that era and it is very, very different. I just got lucky. I got in with the MGM people very, very early and they've been amazing. And that's where my club is to this day. And it's called Brad Garrett's, right? Yep. Yep and uh i know it kind of sounds corny but you know i'm i i am very grateful and i've been very lucky and i always wanted to build a club for comics and um i i built this room that's like a mini theater and it's only one show a night and i put the comics in the rooms i would three manman show three-person three-man show yeah and the crowds

are great and local host uh sometimes i'll bring in a host or get a local you know i i i go for it i get the better acts i put them in great rooms yeah at the towers and it's just it's been really great and it's helped a lot of people and a lot of people have gotten gigs from it and then i bring in the old guys too and then then some of the new guys. But it just feels good because, you know, a lot of people help me and were very kind to me and still are. Comics? Not comics as much as – I don't have a group. I never – I was never – and I wish I was.

I was never part of the hang. I was kind of looked at a guy that came up pretty quick without paying many dues though I paid a lot of dues but I came on the scene quick because what I'm trying to say is Vegas was really became my home club well that's the thing is like that's why because I never met you and I know everybody I had no real sort of like, you know, a bearing on, on your life, but cause it seems to me that not everybody who started with you, you know, there, there was a grail and the grail was, you know, a television show. It was, it was, it was Hollywood centric. Yes.

But, but the thing is, is that you're of a different generation mentally in a way in that, like, you know, know i gotta work and you know if i can get you know 20 30 weeks in vegas yeah you know then i'm in and if you can tolerate it so your eye wasn't on like where's the show built around me you know where you know how do i get more carsons it's like vegas was my club right i'm working i'm working i'm you know i'm working but i could see how that generation of comics would be like well that guy just does vegas you know we're here trying to you know kiss ass and that's exactly right and then i went out you know and i did do the clubs too where i you know took a few hits and had to learn that that tactic yeah you know um but like uh indianapolis the comedy connection

that was a huge room for that was uh was, what was that? Chicken Patty. Chicken Patty, yeah. Yeah, I did huge stuff there. They were great. He was your character. Yeah, he was amazing. He's still alive and hitting 80. I cut my teeth there.

You know, I cut my teeth there. Why Indy? You know, Bob and Tom, who were the radio people. I know Bob and Tom. It's just Bob now. It's just Bob now. I went on, for some reason, I did well on morning radio and I think it's because I was so hungover back in those days from the night before not proud of it but it got me there

whatever Bob and Tom was a tight morning show when you're uh with a tight crew like on a morning show it's great it's like exciting it's funny and they had the you know the one producer that did the weird voices in the booth and you got you got chick over there that's right chick mcgee you know and uh is that your memory i mean your memory is pretty uncanny because i'm sure that was a while ago but no no i mean i i i did it like i you know i would go up to indy and there was a time like i didn't start really drawing people like till you know the i was well into the podcast like i was a guy that had to do that shit sure but now i've i can draw pretty good i i don't uh i would go to indie you know fairly often come to vegas will you come to vegas maybe you would you you know i know you won't do

a full week and and you know i probably can't afford you but if you're working shit out oh we'll put you up we'll treat you like a king. Yeah. I could tell you, you need help. I know. Just looking around. Am I close to the mic? Yeah, you're good.

Boy, I can sure hear the difference. You can. I'm sorry. Yeah. It's my girth makes me not want to be too close. But the thing is, my only aversion to Vegas is I will gamble, but I don't let myself lose more than 800 bucks or something. Well, you're in control. Kind of. Because I feel shitty. There's no good part of it for me. know, I will gamble, but I don't let myself lose like, you know, more than 800 bucks or something. Well, you're in control.

Kind of. You know, because I feel shitty. There's no good part of it for me. Yeah, I understand. And I don't, and I'm not lucky. I'm not, you know, I just know that about me. It's not, I'm not unlucky. Sure.

But I've never had that night where I'm like, holy shit, I'm hitting everything here. Yeah, I haven't either. Never? Well, a couple. Yeah. But in 32 years in that town, I can't tell you what I've lost. And, you know, I got a little grip on the chip. Well, have you ever had to run from somebody you owed money to?

No. Okay. No, no. Who runs? Yeah. You negotiate. You make it work. Listen, I'll set you up at the club.

Yeah, I wish I had that back in the day. It was like, you're going to come to this restaurant. You're going to come to Jaguli's. Yeah. And it's my mom's 60th birthday. And you're going to do a show. And you're going to do a thing. And I was there.

And I was there. And still very close with that guy today. Yeah, because you have no choice. I had no choice. Because you're going to go. It's my mom's 60th. I went done. Be nice.

Be nice. And back then, I was doing, yeah my mom's 60th. I went done. Be nice. Be nice. And back then I was doing, yeah, I was doing Carol O'Connor. Sure. And I was doing, you know, Jim from Taxi. Gleason? All this shit. Never did Gleason in the act. That was, you know, with all due respect, that was not an impression, Mark.

That was a reincarnation. You played him. Ray called it Jackie the NBA years. See, that's how he supported me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I did that little movie. But were you a fan of Gleason? I was.

I was. You're pretty amazing, right? Did you ever meet him? I didn't. His family was very against anybody doing that. And then after it came out, the daughters ended up visiting me, I didn't. His family was very against anybody doing that. And then after it came out, the daughters ended up visiting me, and it was really, really kind of cool.

With jacullis? It wasn't a jaculli. I did have Jilly give me a sit-down once. Oh, yeah? You know, it's a story I've told a lot. Who's Jilly? Jilly, Sinatra's guy. Oh, right. Jilly. And it's a story that's've told a lot. Who's Jilly? Jilly, Sinatra's guy. Oh, right.

Jilly. And it's a story that's been told a lot, so I probably shouldn't. Not to mind. What do you mean? Okay. But I was having a very rough night opening. For Frank? For Frank. How old was he at the time you were opening for him?

He was 100. Yeah. No, he was up there. He was up there. He was 78, 77, 78, 77, 78, 79. And it was a rough time. And then there were some nights he was in the pocket. And, you know, I love that music.

And with a 34-piece orchestra, I would sit in the wings like an old Jew. And I would fell. I would just go, I can't believe it. I loved it. But there was one night I was just dying miserably. Were you and Phil not your friends? Did you have a relationship? We would go to dinner once in a while. Here you know he he called me greg okay yeah and he he

and when he would introduce me for a bow he would say uh greg barrett everybody greg barrett and i would take a bow to someone else's name yeah and um i went up to jilly one day and i went uh just after a year being on the road with him i go you know i can't i i just can't tell you i'm really having a great time but is there any way you can tell frank yeah that my name is brad yeah and he just looked at me with that one wonky eye yeah and he was like why don't you tell him and i went well you know i don't feel it's my place are you enjoying yourself and i, I'm having a great time. That's all you got to worry about.

So one night I'm dying miserably. And when Frank would want to come in, it was still cord mics. Yeah, I still ask for a cord mic. There's nothing like it. To hold on or just to, yeah. No, just like a straight stand and a cord mic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want the cord because you don't want.

Yeah, I know. I need to know it's connected to something. The wireless are too big and they don't fit in the thing right. Right, right. So you can't leave the capsule. It's like I'm hooked in. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I started, I would go, you know, how long do I do?

And they'll go, you'll do 15 or you'll do 30, and we'll decide. And I said, okay, when do you think I'll know? They'll go, it all depends when you want to go on. And you'll feel a little tug on a mic and you just rap. Okay. So some nights it was, and he would, you, and you'd see him in the wings and he'd go and he would tug some. So you don't know, you know, some nights you're doing 10. Yeah. So one night I'm just, I mean, I'm just, it was, I, I, where was it? It was, it was the, uh, sands in City. And it wasn't crickets.

It was crickets' thoughts, I would say. So the silence had a little suction to it. There was a suction at the time. So I'm in about 10, and I get a tug, and I go, all right, you're terrific. Stick around for Frank. Yeah. Okay?

Yeah. Not a huge joke. Just, just you know a little zets yeah i walk off and jilly would stand with frank and as i'm walking by them and i'm it's not like great job greg yeah it's quiet yeah i said stick around for frank and i hear frank tell jilly find out what that means okay it means okay there's a knock on the door. It's Jilly and Hank. And Hank was a guy that would, he'd fill a room. I looked like his x-ray.

And this fucker would walk in. And it's a rough night out there. I said, well, you know, it's, you know. What does it mean, stick around for Frank? And I went, but it was just a joke. They didn't get it. And they went, but they're here to see Frank. And I would say, hence, of course, I was just doing poorly, you know.

And Hank is trying to figure it all out. And he says, well, we kind of feel that you make it because Mr. Sinatra's late once in a while. Yeah. So we thought you were taking a dig at that, like stick around for Frank as in he'll be here. Right. And I would never stick around for Frank. And I'm making a joke of me because they're not here to see me. Yeah. Are you not happy opening for Frank?

The next night, they bring Andreessen, and I'm opening for Liza in Reno. So this was a little. What, they put a bag over your head and throw you on a plane? It was a little, you're going to take a few days. And it's like the first time I opened for Frank, he forgot that I was supposed. and throw you on a plane? It was a little, you're going to take a few days, and they brought, you know, and it's like the first time I opened for Frank, he forgot that I was supposed, because he saw me with Sammy or something.

Yeah. So when I showed up, he looks at me, you know, he was out of it then, but he was still hitting it hard, the song, and he looks at Julie, and he goes, where's Tommy? You know, as I'm standing there.

Is there a reason? Yeah, and they went, well, he's with Glenn Campbell tonight. So who is this? Remember Frank? You met him last night. This is Brad. He opened for us last night.

So it was a little, it was like the home life. So Dreesen had been his opener before. Dreesen was the main man. He was the main guy. So that's how it worked? You guys would rotate? He would rotate people. But you would just go, but like one night you're opening for him and and then he made a call, and then you're opening for Liza,

and Frank still had the run of the, like he could make the- Yeah, and then Sammy, and I would rotate with those three, and it was a blast. What year is this? They've all got to be 100. This is 88, 89, 90. Every one I was with, I would open for them, they would die. Okay?

Dean was gone already. Dean was already gone. So I did Sinatra's last couple weeks. I did Sammy's last couple weeks. You know, Liza, we're waiting. But it was a joke. It's like, put Garrett with them and they'll be dead. Yeah.

Yeah. But that was the life, right? And you enjoyed it? It was the greatest. And I loved it. And I came up on that music. I grew up on that. First record my dad gave me was Sammy Davis Live

at the Coconut Grove. And with all the craziness, you know, my dad was my guy. Of course. And I just didn't know what was going on. And he wasn't diagnosed until very late in life. Yeah, like Rodney. Yeah, and he wouldn't stay on the meds. And God bless him, he was in and out of places,

and it's hard. It's hard to see anyone go through that, but he was a funny guy, man. He was fucking quick. Yeah. Funny. So did he live, he was around long enough to see you in Vegas and go out to the shows?

Yeah, he saw Raymond. He came to the Raymond. He saw the, you know, when I opened for Frank and Sammy, to him, that was for him, because, to him, that was for him. Because, you know, that was our thing. But that was important. It was important and worth it. And just, thank God.

Did he get to meet him? He did. He got to meet him. Look at that. It was really great. And then my mom. Isn't it funny to see your old man turn to mush? It is.

Right? And there's nothing like it. Yeah, yeah. And there's nothing. And I know what it meant to him because his childhood was fucked up you know his dad used to beat him up and he ran away at 14 and never went back to new york ran all the way to california yep with his best friend huh and just lived on the street and got a job at 16 he was a tough cat but a heart of gold never laid a hand on me and he was always you know fucking batted around those

are the jews that know how to paint boats you got that right you guys like i've sort of moved away from that that weird kind of stereotyping like i'm a jew i don't there have been plenty of jews that were cops fighters you bet you know i know but there's no gangsters that's true that's true yeah so so most like you end up in vegas you're still in vegas but uh but the weird thing is you got this whole generation of dudes i keep using that word but believe me i'm not far behind you but but i'm saying is that all these guys that you started out with all these guys that you you're not you know you're not a hollywood act per se and you're watching them land things yeah but that was not your thing or you were happy doing what you're doing

because you could gamble and talk to Frank Sinatra. Well, no, I wanted to act. I wanted to act, you know? All the way through. Oh, all the way through. So you were coming back into town to audition for shit? Oh, all the time. Okay.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I didn't live in Vegas. I was flying out all the time to audition. I did a lot of voice stuff early on. I know. That's how my producer knows you. He's like, you know, there's a whole generation of us that just heard him on cartoons

yeah exactly yeah and uh so i was doing that a lot and i i was auditioning you know i did a little guest spot on rosanne i i did a little shot on uh the paul reiser yeah thing uh so i was doing mad about you that was it that little show that littleulous. Hey, you gotta love Paul Reiser. He's like, you know, he finishes that show. He's like, I'm out for a while. Yeah. I'm going to raise my kids. I'm going to relax.

I'm going to eat good. And now he's back. He's back, man. He's back doing spots all over. But yeah, no. So I was always really trying to, you know, find that thing. I was not a voice. I was, I never had a special.

Yeah. Right. Because they would come and they would see. All the things that comics do, you did not do. Yeah, I didn't. No Tonight Show? I did Tonight Show. With Jay?

No, I did them with Johnny. Did you? I did three with Johnny and I did- Because Frank said? I did quite a few with, well, Ed McMahon ran Star Search. Right, okay, right. So that helped greatly. And I did a-

That must have been amazing for you. It was, I was 24. Uh-huh. It was crazy. And I was on there and it was okay. Didn't kill. I look at the sets now, I cringe. I did one with Cosby and-

You sat there? Yeah, and he said to me out on the plane, you know what was really weird? I was at the Desert Inn, I swear to you, and I get a call from Cosby. Yeah. And I'd never met him or anything. Stop with the filth.

Yeah. No way, sir. Well, you're close. He goes, listen, I'm guest hosting tonight. It's last minute. Johnny's not doing it. I've heard nice things about you. Yeah.

He's sending his plane. We're doing it tonight will you be the comic and I'm opening for Crystal Gale tough choice huh yeah exactly I get someone to cover me I go out there we're on the plane this is 86 he's reading the times he's reading USA Today he's on the cover of every entertainment section I don't know if it was planned or whatever, but Cosby, the show is gigantic. So he goes, I hear you do me in the act, you know? And I went, yes, yes. And he goes, don't tonight.

And I was going to close with it. Here I am. You were. Of course. I'm on the Tonight Show with Cosby. How do I not do Cosby? Right. Yeah, you don't need it, man.

Find yourself. You know? Interesting. But I did five impressions that night. So I start my set and not great. You know, it's okay. You know, it's okay. I'm not dying, but it's never what I want.

Right. And I'm like, I'm going to have to close. I got to do cosby yeah i just gotta do it right i do it the place goes fucking right because he's sitting there right yeah we fly back yeah plane he's going to vegas too he's working the hilton oh headlining the hilton same night yeah um actually i got back for the show in time. Yeah. Because we made it by eight. Yeah. Not a word. Not a word. And he was, you know, coming up, he was one of my guys coming up.

Yeah, sure. And not a word. And I'll never forget it. I'll never forget it. You know what? What? You don't owe him an apology. I never apologized.

Too late now. Yeah, yeah. I think you could. No, no, especially, right no especially right yeah yeah that was your point no actually actually no this might be the time to do it hey bill i don't know what's on your mind yeah you're probably doing a lot of thinking but i just want to make an amends it's a long time coming remember that night on the plane shut the fuck up it was brutal but like in all this time opening for people did you ever open for comics um in vegas i opened for when i started out i opened in atlantic city for sinbad once

but no never never comic so how old are you when ray happens i mean jesus you've been you've been making a living doing voiceovers and doing vegas everything. Doing well. I had a couple failed shows that I was on before Ray. A couple failed series. Built around you? One was built around me and was really not good. What'd you do on that show? Really not good. I played a single parent, ironically, who was from Nebraska.

Okay. Yeah. They wouldn't. I said, let's make it you know New York Jersey or maybe Miami you know let's no yeah it's important you're from the Midwest I go well there nothing reads it so they lightened my hair and they put me in penny loafers swear to god yeah and um it was a show on NBC that was on Saturday nights and I was a voiceover impressionist nights and i was a voiceover impressionist in nebraska yeah that had my own ad agency is what i want to say stretch yeah i know i had my own ad agency and i did the voices for the

commercials right you know that thing and tom sharp was on it it was really funny remember tom sharp the comic yeah he did a lot of commercials a lot of voiceover stuff too. So he was in it. And Brandy Gold, who was Harry Gold's young little daughter, played my daughter. Now she's a giant successful agent. And so that was called First Impressions. Lasted six weeks. Then I was on a show where I played a gay lawyer. One of the first gay characters really put out on primetime. it was it was a really cool show called pursuit of happiness and uh larry miller was on it who was brilliant and it was from

the people that also how's he doing you know i haven't talked to him in a in a very very accident yeah uh which is just brutal he's one of the nicest men in the world. He's been opening for Seinfeld. Oh, good. So he's back out there. Yeah, I tried to get him at the club. No answer. I just love him. He's so funny.

And then that was short-lived. And then I ended up auditioning for Ray's show. I was 35. It was in 95. Yeah. And you got it. I got very lucky. Well, the character was so like you know you know you

made it your own but there was uh the the comedy chops of it you know that sort of slow burn dead pan you know thing what was great is that like i don't know that that's really what you do but you're so versed in the style that you know you really built a character out of that guy thanks you know right so yeah that was kind of it they were not thinking of me and it was tough to get the audition uh-huh because they they just didn't see it and uh and that was you know they they didn't know my stand up and a lot of people didn't and and i hadn't met ray probably better off though in retrospect much better off huh much better off and you didn't know ray i did not i did not and uh i i got it now you're you're cosmically joined with ray for life for eternity cosmically

he's such a good egg man i he's doing some amazing work great guy just a great guy and now i didn't change and that's what you know that's why i really love him it's like he's the same guy. It's hard not to change. It's very funny. Obviously, some things have changed in the external of Ray. Like what? Well, I mean, I think his quality of life changed, obviously. He has a Casio watch. Okay.

A rubber Casio watch. Where does he live, Brad? It's not nice. No, but I mean, I love him. Of course. But what I'm saying is that you know you're backstage with right like I don't know I don't know yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly no you're right but no he's a decent guy he's like you know yeah a religious dude he's grounded in things you

know he's got he's a he's he's definitely one of the great guys. Yeah, yeah. It's nice. It's nice. And the show is great. You did good. Yeah, I did good. I'm grateful. I'm lucky. I've worked hard. Let me ask you something.

Sure. The final season of Till Death. Yeah. What was that? Were people just sort of like, let's just go crazy? Crazy how? Well, I mean, it was sort of like of like you know it was what it was you know it wasn't successful but they kept it on because fox you know wanted to try to cross the finish line

sure but it seemed like that fourth season was just like the writing got like pushed you know over the top in a way and you know like you know you know breaking the fourth wall and all that stuff it was almost experimental it was experimental and desperate and pushed. And we had four showrunners in four years. And they just couldn't capture really my voice. Working with Jolie, she's amazing and fearless. And we had a great chemistry and it was fun. We just didn't really know what we

were doing i had just come off raymond and to be honest i could have been i i i really knew what i wanted right and i knew what the network wanted and i felt i was gracious gracious with the cast and the people involved. And when it kept changing... Showrunners? Yeah, I just bucked a lot of it and oversteered. And my micromanaging kind of kicked in and my controlling issues kicked in because i came off such a wonderful show where writing was really incredible and i felt this kind of started really really large it's you know it's like you know phil rosenthal who ran raymond he was like

could this happen that's how every story and even though in comedy you swing big, at the end of the day, could it happen? So, you know, that kind of was off the table. And some stuff got a little broad. And I just, you know, I have to remember that no matter what situation you're in, usually, usually, people are doing their best. Yeah. People are doing their best. Yeah. And it's a very, very tough thing to find that great combo of showrunner and cast and writing. And it's very, very difficult.

And I was, you know, it was my own vehicle. And I really, I had opinions. And I had stuff that I felt could or should have been different. Yeah. That being said, the pilot was written and they found me. It isn't like this pilot was written for me. Right. But you were a hot commodity.

Yeah, for 10 minutes. Yeah. It was a good 10 minutes. It was a good 10. But so it was sort of a desperation. But I think in retrospect that there were chances being taken that make it sort of a unique season of television. Oh, no question. We had three different daughters through the whole thing.

I remember, and Fox was very supportive. I think they forgot we were on. I don't know how we got four years. And the head of Fox before we were yanked, they very nicely called me at home. And the ratings were really dismal you know and he goes look you know we've had a great and I had a great thing with Fox and a great thing with Sony and they were really collaborative as well and you know we look we all want to win but it didn't you know it just it didn't happen they said to me they go look

you know we're going to pull the show they said you know your last time out the gate you got a You know, we're going to pull the show. They said, you know, your last time out the gate, you got a.02. This is back when there was less channels. Yes, a lot less. .02. And they go, you know, I went, ooh, that's rough. And they went, you know, but out of, you know, our relationship and, you know, we just want to let you know before you read about it is there any thing we can do before we pull it do you have any ideas and i said give me three more episodes

and i could bring you to a zero i said any big shot can get a one 2.8, to be able to say we're so close to zero. We're not.2. We're.02. Right. Give me three more weeks. I don't know if they got it. I don't think they got it. That was irony.

Oh, really? Yes. Did they give you the three weeks? No. Oh. No. They thought like that. No, but I gave them the zero.

Yeah. I also like that you did these. I gave him the zero. Yeah. I also like that you did these, like, that, I don't think people always understand that, you know, as a stand-up, like, if you're not going to be a writer, if you're not going to be a showrunner, that there are jobs in show business that stand-ups do. You can host. Yeah.

You can open for musical acts. Yeah. But also, game shows were something that stand-ups did. Oh, I did a lot in the early days. Right. And like- That took care of my clubs, believe it or not. I would draw from those things.

Right. But I missed all that. And I don't know how I would have felt about it when I started necessarily, but in retrospect as a kid- Sure. But as I got older, I realized like you will watch Match Game or you watch Hollywood Squares. Sure. And it'd be like, holy shit.

Yeah. you will watch match game or you watch hollywood squares and it'd be like holy shit yeah you know these are these are the some of the greatest comics that ever worked right you know in these boxes yeah uh doing the what's the word uh uh spritzing spritzing what's the word you use no no no zetsing zetsing zetsing you and it was like, it was always great to see weird little Marty Allen. Sure. Paul Lynn. Yes. Jan Murray used to fucking do the Hollywood Squares.

Of course. Sure. The match game was Charles Nelson Riley and Brett. Summers. Yeah, yeah. And Don Adams would be. Yep. All of them.

And I was the young guy who tapped in all that. It's like David Brenner. Yeah. And when Whoopi was doing, you know when she was at center square there was big dough on hollywood squares oh yeah yeah i mean when i did that and when i did the small game shows like the tattletales and the the the one where you would draw with burt confy i mean you do you know you film all all five episodes in one day yeah you just change your shirt and walk out there i mean i didn't have to go on the road for weeks.

And a lot of people don't realize that comics used to showcase on the fucking dating game. Yes. Yes. I remember seeing Robert Wool. That's right. On the dating game. Tom Selleck. Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. And it's just sort of one of this weird sort of lost chunk of show business. It was an outlet, man. And you could be seen yeah that comics would do it it was a gig man yeah gone yeah so what is this uh this uh in in terms of being fired from indian casinos and and inappropriate jokes sure do you defend it or do you do you say like you're right yeah you fucked up no they're not right no no, but I mean, you suck it up. You have to laugh at yourself. You made a mistake.

No. I did it again. Some of the Indians love it. Right. You know, but it's just, you know, I mean, people are warned. You know, you're not getting the guy from Raymond. But do you do the philosophy that Rickles had, and I don't know how well it can apply anymore,

that, you know, you're equal opportunity and soldier, and that had, and I don't know how well it can apply anymore, that you're equal opportunity insulter? I just don't defend it. I mean, I'm a lot— You don't defend what? I don't feel I have to defend the stand-up. Right, right. They're jokes. They're people that dig it.

They're people that don't. It's like it was a side that unless you see me on the road or in theaters, people don't really know what I do. And it's a lot of improv. Yes, 80% is crowd work. Yeah. And it's tangy. I mean, especially nowadays, it's tangy. And the MGM.

You're on a tightrope. Yeah, I am. But you know, I'll tell you where I'm lucky. I played a doofus and a put-upon guy for nine years on a major show. So they think you're entitled to the anger? It's a little bit comeuppance for me. And they end up seeing it as like he snapped. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, from all the abuse. Like the people that see Saget. Yeah, exactly. This is not the guy that we knew from the... Exactly. And I think people know, I don't mean it. I think people know that, you know, he's just a big lug anyway, which I really am.

And I make fun of myself and my life and my career. And, you know, I'm in the basement of the MGM next to New York Pretzel and a sock store, literally. And, you know, it's on the way to self-parking. And it's become, you know, as humbly the way to self-parking. And it's become, you know, it's the club in Vegas. I mean, it's killing everyone else. And there's nine clubs now. And I bring in great acts and I bring in R-rated acts.

And I don't do, you know, the jugglers and the magicians. So your basic approach is that, look, it's going to get racy, literally. Yes. And that, you know, we insult people. But if you got called, outside of being fired, if someone said, you know, you said this horrible thing about women or black people or whatever. Sure. What would you say? What's your general defense?

I really don't. You want to know what it is? Yeah. Let me give you a refund if you didn't enjoy yourself. Right. And we do. There's no, look, it's like stereotypes exist. I know it seems like a hacky type of thing.

I think now more than ever, when we look at our country, which is a disaster in my opinion, I think there's almost more room for it because all the PC bullshit has come to bite us in the ass anyway, because what is it really, in my opinion, you know, what are you saying? It doesn't bring us together. It drives a wedge. That's how I've always felt. You know, that's how I've always felt. And, you know, being a seven foot Jew with no athletic ability that came up pretty fucked up,

you know, I've always taken shots of myself. Now I'm just kind of putting up the mirror. You know, it's like I had the white trash in the front row. I had a guy with a, with a mega hat on and, you know,

I walked them and then Twitter and everything else is this liberal prick and blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah. And the whole thing is like, it's, you know, it's like we're not allowed to, you know, why can't we have an opinion as just because we're performers and we have a platform? And I agree with you. And it's always that's that's the only place where it's like they don don't think we work yeah and that's the thing that bothers me yes that's exactly you know these elites what do they do these actors like we work hard yes you know what do you do yeah that's and that's kind of where that's kind of where it you know uh kind of where it went and

then i have people that come to the club and they want to keep sitting in the front because they love the abuse. But the thing is this, you know, we try to remember, because it's a small room, it seats 250, we try to remember. You got the people in the back out of here. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And also we don't want to keep sitting,

you know, my point is some people love it. I think it's almost a release from all the bullshit and the tension. No, yeah, but it's that laughter that can be you know almost crying you know it's you know it is it is it's a profound release uh uh to be uh abused in a context that's entertaining i think so is it not thank you you get it i do be you know you get it. I do. It's a difficult place. You just work harder. It's a difficult place for a comic. But you're a great writer.

I've never been a great writer. My thing was improvving, and my thing was just going for it. Yeah, but the thing is, it's weird. I've been, in a moment, because I'm a club comic by nature, I'm not some alt guy. I came up and crowd work was something I needed to know how to do and I can do it. Right. But it's a little out of character for who I am really, but it's a reflex and I can do it. Yep.

And there have been moments where I'll do it and I'll realize, the hoes, oh. The scooters are starting starting I heard that guy yeah yeah you know like that was a little much but you know and then like right after I do it after I get the laugh I'll be like that was crazy what just happened and yeah like I'll actually apologize well kind of I'll try to be diplomatic on stage but but but ultimately what my grandmother used to go she used to like to go see, you know, she'd say like, because I loved Buddy Hackett when I was a young kid.

Oh, yeah. And she would say, well, you go see him in Vegas, but he's very filthy. Oh, it's, have you ever seen him in Vegas? No. Oh, unbelievable.

And she would go see Rickles. Yeah. And, but she, I remember she said this to me, my grandma Goldie, she goes, you know,

after the show, he apologizes very nicely. Yeah, yeah. And he does a song. I'm a nice guy. But he sounded to me like he, like after the show,ie she goes you know after the show he apologizes very nicely yeah yeah and he does a song i'm a nice guy but he sounded to me like he like after the show he would you know actually apologize yeah but every show was exactly the same i once saw alan king in vegas who i don't like that much who i didn't like that much i didn't i didn't respect that much but like it was like he was sleepwalking yeah and it was uh it was a disappointing to me yeah so this new show uh yes how many did you do 10 12 we're doing 13 and we just got the back nine yesterday so we're doing a full season and it's uh we're really having a

ball i'm i'm loving it you know like you it's uh i'm part of an ensemble. Yeah. And Taron Killam from SNL is the lead. And he's terrific. And Leighton Meester is brilliant from Gossip Girl. It's really a good show. And it's about single parents and a group of people that are kind of thrown together socially. Not that they would ever hang out with each other. Right. But because their kids do.

Right. And I've been a single parent for a long time and you find yourself in these you know niches that you're like well i don't know if i could go to that birthday party and see tom again you know and you you realize it's not about you right exactly it's never about you which is why you're living great and wonderfully you don't have to worry about that i do you know more people say that to me than they used to yeah i was at the vet yesterday with my fucking cat right and a woman sitting next to me talking to me about cats so you look like a writer she's like a filipino woman older woman yeah and she goes

you got children and i go i don't she's like oh good for you yeah good for you yeah it's true i got it's very difficult it's very difficult i mean you know uh it's a lot but the material you relate to oh yeah big time and you still's a lot. But the material you relate to. Oh, yeah, big time. And you still do a lot of voiceover work, too. I still do some voiceover work. And I just want to say as we close here that, you know, once I gave you the note, you know, you stayed on the mic,

and I appreciate that. Absolutely. You know, you're never too tall to learn. That's what I tell everyone. And really an honor to be here, man. And I'm just happy for you, and thanks for getting me on. Thanks, man. It hasn't been easy to get on this show. Is that true, man. It is great. And I'm just happy for you and thanks for getting me on. Thanks, man. Hasn't been easy to get on this show.

Is that true? Oh, it is difficult. I have never said no to you. It is difficult. No, it's not. I don't want to get into it now. Who did you say no to? Who have I said no to?

Yeah. Well, you know, now because we work with bookers, you know, that- You don't want to say that. Yeah. Well, no, there's just lists and it's really just about like,

can I talk to that person? Sure. You know you know does that person do i think or do they have right enough of a story to do what we do here right you know it's never like you know it's not about whether i like people or not necessarily but am i interested and you know is there a story there right you know and can you know with comics i'm almost always always, because we're the same breed. Yes. And I never worry about that, really. Yeah, that's interesting. I just had Rita Rudner on here.

Oh, we did a bunch of dates together last year. She's like a real pro, man. She's amazing. She would go out first, and then after her, I'd go on, and it was whiplash. It's just amazing that there are these got these women and men these people you know i mean she was a huge act and she's never stopped and she's a vegas person and uh but but she's but she's uh unto herself yes and you know and you know you get lost in this world like the generation younger than me or two where you know they they don't have any real

sort of sense of history except for a few people and everyone's got their people but yeah there was that that original generation of people after the old guys that she's part of a big time that you know that were very defined and and professional and you know and historical acts yep you're right so you know so great we had a blast that's great you know so in in to answer your question i don't it's not that i say no to people it's just like i get a list and i'm like i'm not really interested i am interested it's not like so and so wants to go on the show and i'm like no fuck them yeah but you've said that i have you've said that i have but but not not really not much not recently well actually when you were on your way over here,

I was like, is this happening? He's late, and I'm never late. I called three people. I'm never late because I have a thing about being tardy. Yeah, yeah. And I was crazed, I mean, really. So that's not bad. But thank you for having me, and I'm happy for you.

I think we covered everything. Yeah, we have. Yeah, there's nothing to talk about. It's all good. This is, you you know we've stretched this to death thanks Brad thank you my friend Brad Garrett folks

he's a one of a kinder that guy so as I said before single parents is on Wednesday nights at 930 Eastern on ABC with Brad. And he's got a movie coming out, Gloria Bell with Julianne Moore. Dig it. Can I not play guitar today?

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