WTF with Marc Maron Podcast - Remembering Garry Shandling

Episode Date: March 24, 2016

Marc’s conversation with Garry Shandling from May 2011. Garry passed away on March 24, 2016. Sign up here for WTF+ to get the full show archives and weekly bonus material! https://plus.acast.com/s/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, it's Mark. How are you? I don't like to do this. I don't like to have to do this, but we do this when somebody I've talked to here in the garage has passed away. Great, great comics and comic minds has died. Gary Shandling has passed away, and it's just so sad. I did this episode in May 2011. It was episode 177. So it's only available behind a paywall and out of respect for Gary, I wanted to

give it back to anyone who hasn't heard it and to those of you who want to listen to it again, because it was a pretty amazing and sweet interview. And I was very nervous about it. He was a pretty amazing and sweet interview. And I was very nervous about it. He was a very respected and brilliant guy. I didn't know him.

We were not close friends. But between his work as a stand-up and on It's Gary Shandling Show and Larry Sanders, of course, how could you not just be in awe of that guy? What a hilarious and brilliant guy. And I think Judd Apatow helped me set it up. And I remember it was one of the first times I actually had a celebrity's email other than Judd's. And I didn't know how much I was supposed to pester him or whether we could make it happen.

I remember going back and forth with him. And then even his emails were hilarious. And it kind of played out for a little while before we could actually do the show. He wasn't sure if he wanted to do the show. And by the time he got here, I was so beside myself and so nervous and didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if he was just going to make fun of me the whole time.

I just had no idea because the one thing that I knew from watching Shandling, from watching his shows, and primarily his stand-up, is that he was one of these amazing performers and minds. He just had his own time zone. He just, you know, he existed in just Gary Shandling time zone. And his timing on stage was unlike anybody else's.

You know, his ability to prolong a take to sort of, you know, draw punchlines in a slightly stilted, you know, pausing way, you know, stylistically was just so unique and so right on the mark, but so in the tradition of stand-up, of being a comedian. He was a joke-driven stand-up with a truly unique persona and point of view.

There was a neurosis that seemed to operate at such an intense level that it gave him an almost Buddha-like nervousness, if that's possible. And it was just such a thrill to watch him do stand-up. And obviously, you know, with Larry Sanders, you know, this is, he reinvented the medium of television. Everything that you see on television that you like, you know, owes some debt to Larry Sanders. He reinvented it by tearing it open

from the inside and creating this cast of characters whose depth just oozed out of their broken egos in this just subliminally hilarious way. You'd never seen a cast of characters like that and the comedy was so specific and so perfect mind-blowing and continues to be mind-blowing i don't know man you just don't expect people to die i i know we're supposed to expect it but we i don't expect it

and he was certainly young he was 66 i believe, and we should have had him for longer. The thing that I think everyone needs to realize about Gary Shandling is that he was a truly original comic genius. And he had a way of seeing and a way of doing and a way of doing and a way of constructing comedy, both in his act and on television,

in a way that was completely original. And that is really such a rare thing. And it's sublime, man. The guy was fucking sublime. But I wanted to share this interview because one thing that amazed me about him that I did not expect to happen was how much peace of mind he had. From all appearances, for an utterly neurotic Jewish guy, he had an amazing peace of mind. He seemed to be at peace with himself. He seemed to have wisdom around how peace of mind is attained.

And it definitely felt like the peace of mind that Gary Shanley had when I spoke with him was earned. felt like the peace of mind that Gary Shanley had when I spoke with him was earned and that he was vigilant about maintaining that peace of mind. And so I'm happy I have this conversation to give back, and I'm a little bit devastated that I won't run into him again or see him around. He's just one of those guys, if I'd see him, I'd get all excited. I'd want to run up to him and go, Hey, what's up? What's up, Gary? How you doing? And just watch him kind of pull back a little bit

and be all nervous at my weird lack of boundaries and aggressive energy. Rest in peace, Gary Shandling. You were one of the greats. So here's my conversation with Gary Shandling from May 2011. Come on, it's the future, man. I'm working from home, Gary. Oh, buddy. Yeah.

Listen, I mean, my buddy, a good friend of mine, has just said to me, let's get you on your website talking. Uh-huh. Let's get something going. Yeah. So I've got to yet do that. Are you thinking...

A friend of mine that's... Yeah, I have a friend who's an architect. Does he have a podcast? No, he's just very, very smart. He's a Harvard grad, and we get along really well. Yeah. And I shot something for him. So what I'm saying is I'm trying to catch up to the future.

Yeah, I'm new to it. But, you know, lots of people told me about you. Yeah. Like five. Yeah, that's a lot. And then someone, my buddy Bruce Grayson, who's kind of one of my best friends, he's a makeup artist. Yeah. He called me two nights ago and he said, listen, there's this woman that I know who's really smart and especially creative.

And maybe he mentioned her name. Yeah. And she said, you should listen to this guy, and he does an interview show or something called, and he goes, is it Mark? I said, it's Mark Maron. He said, yeah, that's it. I said, I'm doing it two days from now.

That's really a severe coincidence. I think people listen to it. I mean, a lot of people seem to like it. Sarah Silverman, I think, told me. Sarah was on my show. I talked to her for an hour. I think Judd told you. And then you met me. Is that me? That's you? Are you already

taping? Sure, we can start taping whenever you want. Have you? Yeah. I mean, have you been? Yeah. Have we been taping this part? We're taping this part now. That's a good idea. Oh, no. What do you mean now? You mean like just starting now? No, it's been happening. I started it when I met you in the driveway did you start you didn't start it 12 years ago when i met you in the bathroom of the comedy store well you know when we're in the bathroom together i forget where it is i was hoping you wouldn't remember that no i couldn't tell you where i met you for you'd have to tell me because uh i have a bad memory but i remember just bumping into you of course, in your driveway before this.

No, but I remember meeting you at... Paul Provenza. Sure. But I think that was the first time we actually met. I think I might have met you when you hosted the Young Comedian special in Aspen, and I was just mad that I wasn't part of it. that I wasn't part of it. And then I actually, the first memory I have of you, I was working the back lot

at the comedy store. And you drove up in, I believe, a gray Porsche. Yeah. Is that possible? Yeah. Yeah, and I offered to park. I said,

you want to give me the keys? And you said, no. And you left it. No, that's a good impression you did. It was not an impression. Well, Mark, I said, do you want to give me the keys? And you said, no. And you left it. No, that's a good impression you gave. It was not an impression. Well, Mark, I mean, I really don't care about material things. I just get concerned that vomit could ruin the paint. And once you take it into that back lot at the Comedy Store, which smells like vomit, doesn't it, in the back parking lot?

There's something wrong with that place all around. Doesn't it smell like vomit in the back? Yeah, if it doesn't smell like pot, it smells like vomit. Yeah, it smells like some strange mix. But you weren't really working there at that time that much. I mean, I seem to have gotten there right after everybody that really became big out of that place left. I think you were practicing to host a show or present an Oscar or something. I remember watching you and thinking, like, holy shit, this guy's in a different time zone with his comedy and it's amazing.

And then you left. It was like four minutes. And being in a different time zone is a good thing. That's what I was wondering. Yes, I figured. It brings me to the idea of jet lag, if that's what you meant. You know. No, I mean, you have a very deliberate style of timing that, you know, it's completely your own.

And that's a hard thing to do. Yeah. Did you find that? I mean, when you started out, were you more manic at any other time? No, I think I was never really manic. However, I think the idea of that slow-paced style in which I'm speaking to you now, and that's purely because I'm thinking, is also sort of exaggerated because I think there's a certain pace that is required on stage.

On the other hand, I've been working sort of slower than ever recently, and I think you and I both saw. I'm assuming you saw it some years ago. People don't realize how long he's been honing that style down because he had a talk show at one time, which was fantastic and never picked up for any length of time. Oh, on VH1. Yeah, I thought it was good. Yeah, it was.

Like 12 years ago. Yeah, a lot of stuff going on. I remember that. It was almost like he was in a hangar space, and there was a lot of things, and he was walking around with a clipboard. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's funny how that works, because if you thought of Zach Galifianakis having a talk show now, you'd watch it immediately. Yeah, of course.

But that's what happens. You never know who's going to sort of surface and turn into something. Yeah, you don't. It's kind of like trying to draft an athlete out of college and you try and figure out if they can make it in the pros. You know, that's why they have the combine now in professional football. They don't even trust what

they see. They have to measure how long is his jump, how fast is his hundred, how fast. They get into technical stuff. It becomes almost like a slave auction. Yeah. In some weird way. Yeah.

That might be a little dark, but you know what I'm saying. No, no, no. I'm sure behind the locker room that's discussed by some of the players. They're still owned. Yeah. Agricultural auction. It's almost like the same stats of animals. Yeah, you're measuring it.

So it would be like taking us and saying, here, read these 10 jokes. Right, right. Just see if you have a funny delivery. Right. And then, okay, give us four of your own. And then at the end there's a score. Right, and then they go, wait, what's his thoroughbreeding? What's his parents?

What's the lineage? Yeah, what's his parents funny? That's right. Yeah, yeah. And selfish Jew, selfish Jew, three generations back. back perfect there's no getting around that my family would knock me out for the comedy thing right for the get-go no i think they pass yeah oh absolutely i because we had that i had this moment where i don't know what i like i got this i i don't know you that well i obviously we've never talked before, but I seem to think that you have answers

and that you have an acute sensitivity to comedic personalities. Because you said something to me about when we were sitting on stage for the Provenza thing. And you mentioned, you know, you said your mother. And I was like, yeah. Was that just a guess? Well, I mean, Mark, I'm not a psychic, but I assume everybody has a mother.

No, I can probably, sure, I think you can intuit a mother issue from a father issue in people when it's sort of... You can? I mean, not always accurately, and there's sort of... You can? Mm-hmm. I mean, not always accurately,

and there's so many complicated combinations thereof. Right, but what do you think the most... Like the mother thing, because I never assumed that it was necessarily a mother issue. Well, it might not be. How was your dad? He's a mad, depressive lunatic. Right.

But my mother was the one who made me afraid of food. Oh, so they were both a little... Oh, yeah. You? Well, my father was actually, I would say, really completely normal. Really? Yeah. To a fault?

No, I think... Seriously, I think he had his own business. He had a printing company that was very successful. I'm just going through it now in my head. I mean, I think it's interesting. He had his own business. So when you think about it, doing comedy is your own business. So I followed in his footsteps.

Right. I just didn't do it on the, I was afraid I'd get my hand caught in the press. Yeah. That's why I didn't follow in his. I didn't find the printing business interesting, but he was like, it was a big company and very successful. So I think, and quiet, on the quiet side, I think of integrity and sort of humorous.

I remember once we were in a restaurant when I was certainly under 10 years of age. Yeah. And this man said, hey, Irv, which was my dad's name, Irv Shandling. And he played basketball in high school and college. He was an honorable mention All-American with a kind of running jumper, you know, like the old school kind of basketball. with a kind of running jumper, you know, like the old school kind of basketball. And he said something like, Irv, you know my wife Helen? And he said, hi.

And the guy said to my dad, Helen's lost 90 pounds. And he goes, wow. And now she's right where she wants to be. And my dad said, in that booth in the restaurant. And I'm not saying it's like the funniest thing I've ever heard by any imagination, but I will not be able to come up with something funny my mother said. It's just whack behavior. Yeah. No, but I think that the turn of phrase and the surprise ending,

that's definitely a well-crafted joke in that moment. It shows that he was sort of... Witty. Yeah. Yeah. Dry. And your mom, nothing. No funny?

My mom is a character that is somewhat stereotypical to the Jewish mom who I, as you probably know, say in my act, wanted to marry me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Completely conflicted because she wanted me to have kids, but not with another man. Right. Not with another woman.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a very hard joke to get correct. Yeah. My mother wanted me to have children, but not with another, nor with another man, by the way. Either way. Either way was bad.

She didn't want me to, she just didn't want me away from her. And her sister, I think, is a little loopy who lives in Chicago because her sister said to her kids, if anyone leaves Evanston, I automatically disown you. So when her kids grew up. Oh, really? If they moved out of Evanston, it was that kind of nuttiness. It's pretty nutty. That's that weird kind of like a meshed, you know, don't leave me kind of, yeah, craziness.

Yeah. Yeah. My parents, I don't know. My parents were, how did your parents end up Jews? So if my dad was a little quiet, and I'll answer the question about how they ended up Jews. I'm sure it was their fourth selection. It couldn't have been the first thing. You grew up in the Southwest.

Yeah. So listen, this is what makes it so weird. So here's where I might have been manic. I might have been manic had they lived in New York. But they were in Chicago and moved to Arizona when I was two. So I grew up in the desert. Yeah, I grew up in New Mexico. Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah, stranded Jews. I mean, it's like, to me, that meant that they needed to get as far away as possible. Yeah, no, I was the only Jew. I mean, the don't ask, don't tell applied to me for 15 years. I didn't say jack shit. Really? Yeah. I'd say, no, no, I wasn't celebrating the holiday i had a cold yeah yeah but so but but now where you phoenix tucson arizona yeah so you were you were your uh family

of the shandlings were in the original arizona jews i think that's probably uh right i haven't uh there's more now there yeah yeah they they've discovered it yeah and uh and um you know it's that dry heat and um sure you know i like the desert but i think my dad was a tad uh quiet like me and then my mother was very, very assertive, smothering, and you don't know what to do with that. No, you don't. You don't know what to do with that because you can't, even in therapy, if you were to encounter that in a couple, you don't know how to get the person to stop. You don't know how to extract the person from the person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's hiding behind herself. Yeah. My mother was just needy i did the smothering thing was never an

issue it was just never enough you know i think probably as i look at you though now and just took a second when i met you yeah uh and i liked you right away quite frankly okay uh and that's what separated me from the others i'm sorry there's some rhythm of that joke. They pretend. I mean, yes, I saw something I relate to, which is a compliment. I mean, I sort of see a desire to rise above your crazy issues, which I think, by the way everybody has and then i try rather than shove them down right you've probably examined them to some degree can you talk about it yeah i i let that's why i think we had common ground immediately well but what's your process i mean like on any given day like today uh you know i got obsessed about you know something uh i i began compulsively eating

and and uh i was anxious about traveling. And I get spun out. I mean, what do you do every day? Well, how was your crazy manifested? Sorry, I didn't check in on you earlier. Yeah, you should have called. I mean, well, you did actually. Yeah, I don't have any real compulsive obsessive issues.

The neuroses triggers now and then. I would get anxious about traveling. Yeah. I think a lot of people do, but I do really go, I sort of get indecisive about which thing to do, because I have a voice in my head that says you should do this or you should do that. Right. I think that's the, these are the things I've tried to rise above and still tackle, the issue of being free to be exactly who I am. The paralysis of indecision.

There is a paralysis to indecision. And a buddy of mine who knows me well said there's a no-win there because sometimes I make a decision and I feel that wasn't the right decision. But I've gotten a lot better with that. Yeah. By the way, I started to box about 11 years ago. Right. Just started to box. And the reason is twofold.

One is out of my comfort zone completely. Never was a kid who got into fights. And so the idea of really being in a ring where someone's going to start throwing punches. And then the really main reason, the other one, is that you don't have time to think. So it becomes completely intuitive. Someone's throwing a punch, you have to counter or you move or you step back or you move in. But you can't think about it. And when you land a punch, you can't think about it.

Are you getting good at it? Well, I'm sure getting better than I was, which is better than getting worse. Do you wear headgear? I do. I wear headgear that goes from my head down to my knees. It's quite a long – it's the biggest one they've ever seen. But the point of it is – Custom made?

Yeah, you kind of – it's made by a Jewish company in Tel Aviv. Are you a sponsor? I'm sponsored by... By the full body mat? No, that metal sweeping equipment used on the beach to find coins buried in the sand. What are those called? Yeah, what are they called? My Future? Probably originally used for landmines, to find landmines.

Sure, until the first guy found a ring and said, Yeah, what are they called? My Future? Probably originally used for landmines, to find landmines. Sure. Until the first guy found a ring and said, you know, when I get back to the States, this is going to be the thing. Yeah. Those are the things that you... So you start boxing, but isn't comedy a little out of the comfort zone? I mean, I feel like that's why I did comedy. Yeah, very. Exactly what you're saying, your experience with boxing is my experience with comedy. It's the only time I feel present.

It's the only time where my reflexes take over. There you go. And it's the only time I literally feel open and myself. Right. So what I would say to that is you should live like that. Yeah. Because what happens is the thing goes on in your life and you don't think of it as in your life. If you were on stage, you don't have time to do anything with a heckler but say a few words and get it over with and move on to the next thing, right?

Right, yeah. Whereas you obsess in real life. Well, what happens, what could happen? No, it's changing. I mean, I'm not, you know. No, you're growing or you wouldn't be talking about it. Right, and it's like I don't have time or the energy to beat the shit out of myself anymore. Well said.

I mean, it's just weird. As you get older, it's sort of like you get, it's just exhausting man yeah right yeah and and and uh even if i have like yesterday i did you can't win a welterweight a welterweight belt for beating the shit out of yourself right especially if yourself is a heavyweight that was a good narcissistic yeah boxing belt it's true and like even like yesterday i did fergus's show and I hadn't done it before. How did that go? It was fine. But I did that thing where I don't know who you are when you get off stage, but it had been a while

since I'd done that. I thought I rushed through the last joke. I thought the panel was a little awkward because even though I like to have a free-form conversation like we're having right now, but he does that with his panel. He literally just give him 30 things about you and then he's just going to talk yeah no i think i think there's a fair amount of uh uh short of uh looking back and judging exactly what happened

because it also happened so fast i mean i think that's right that's why they look at the film of the game right but i but i didn't have a film. I just had me saying, I don't even want to see the film. Right. I think it's fair. Right. That's me too. And I'm walking off, and I did that thing where I got off where I haven't done in a while.

I don't know if you do this, where the guy comes up, the producer, and he says, that was great. That was really great. And then I say, really? Was it because I don't want to take this experience away from you because I don't believe what you're saying? And I didn't think it went that great. I didn't say that, but I said it by saying, really?

Yeah, those are tough decisions to make. I actually had a – I feel bad for you. Those are tough decisions, but I don't have anything to say. Have you done that? I've done it where I've said something and I've done it where I haven't said something. But I'll tell you, recently I did a talk show, which will remain nameless for the moment yeah after i boozed it up in the second half hour of the show i'll tell you but the producer ran over to me at the end of the show and literally said to me it's not your fault oh my god and i and i actually think i know what he meant yeah but uh you know you got me uh wondering for

a second oh Oh, shit. Isn't that a good one? It's not your fault. That's a great one. Yeah. The first thing he says? Yeah. It wasn't sort of an obvious.

It was an overall note. Right. And did you parse it in your head and find that it wasn't your fault? I had a hunch of what he was talking about, but it still uh get you uh wondering for a second but i knew the fellow well enough that we were able to talk it out so and by the way yeah may i say to you my dear friend yes sometimes it's not your fault okay yeah so when those lights are on you know yeah turn it off there with those cameras no people don't know what it exactly feels like it feels like it's if it's if you're or me, it feels like it's your fault.

Sure. Right? Yeah. Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes it isn't. Right. Well, that's weird. What you're saying is true.

And I mean, you've spent a lot more time in front of the lights than I have, but it is a heightened reality. And in that moment, all you're thinking is like, don't even acknowledge that you're in this heightened reality where you're talking to the host of a show and everything's happening in a minute. But when you're in it, you completely know it you know there's no way not to know it yeah i think probably that's why mark i i i i lean towards uh using the camera when i do those shows especially when i would host something sure i kind of look over to the camera yeah because it's like

uh you know hey yeah i know we're all looking at this and we're all together on this and I just screwed up or he screwed up or whatever. You're a great reactor. Yeah, I'm a good reactor. Was that a planned thing? No, I don't think you can plan that. I don't think, I said, God, hey, try and give me kind of a wacky mom so I can just fucking react. Come out of that womb just going, huh? Just look baffled and try to smile through it.

Yeah, so I was given that choice from birth, I would say. Oh, good. Well, that was a gift. I mean, that's a life question, isn't it? Yeah. What you just said, you just baffle and try to put it. Baffled and smile through it. Yeah, that's how some people choose to live their life.

Period. Yeah, that's it. That's how some people choose to live their life. Period. That's how some people choose to live their life. Yeah, yeah. Think of that. Yeah. Think of that. I'm thinking about it. Yeah, and then they want to blame others.

But have you gotten to the point where you can thank your mom? Like this is a gift? I actually gave my mom a really nice thank you gift for her birthday once. Yeah. And wrote a note on there saying, Mom, I couldn't have done this without you. Yeah. Thank you. And she looked at it.

This is true. Yeah. And looked at it and then took a beat and then looked up. We were alone in the kitchen. Yeah. In the kitchen. And she said, Why can't you say this on TV? And I looked at her and I said, Well, let me see if I have this right. Would it mean more to

you if I said it on TV as opposed to right now when I'm with you in the kitchen in person speaking to you as your son? She said, on TV. And that's true. Oh, my God. I don't want to hear you say, oh, my God. I never thought it was that big a deal until Mark Maron says, Oh, my God. I don't want to hear you say, oh, my God. I never thought it was that big a deal until Mark Maron says, oh, my God. But then the question, for me, if I put myself in your position, I would be like, all right, okay, I'll try to say it on TV. I thank my mom on TV. Yeah. I think it's followed by, you know, to make her happy.

Yeah. I don't remember the... Yeah. But, yeah. I think the part of that is people get very confused with... She's also confused with what's real when I'm on TV or when I'm... I don't think she knows which one is real, to be honest. I can't separate the truth from what she sees on TV and so forth and so on. Or does she like the one on TV better? That's what I'm concerned with. That would be your concern?

Yeah. That's interesting. I want to think about that for a second. My mother barely talks to me now. She listens to this show twice a week. She listens to the show so she knows what's going on in my life. We barely speak. And every once in a while she'll go, you're going to, like I got an email two days ago, you're going to Australia? And that's how we communicate. And every once in a while she'll go, you're going to, like I got an email two days ago, you're going to Australia? And that's how we communicate. And what do you say to that? I don't respond. No, I do. I said, yeah, I'm going to Australia. So actually the truth is we're doing

this show for your mother. That's right. It's all for my mother. To help you from having to confront your mother. We're doing this show to help you from confronting with your mother. That's what the whole subtext of this show is, isn't it? Could you say something nice to my mother? Hi, hi, Mark's mom. I can tell you he loves you because the place

is plastered with your pictures. You're hot. Oh, yeah, she is. A little too hot. That's her right there with me. With the beehive hairdo on that desk over there. Let me look. Yeah, that's what I had to live with. Well, you can't tell them that much from a photo because...

Look at that haircut. Lee Harvey Oswald doesn't look like such a bad guy when you just look at the still. Look at her. She's baffled. She's pretending like that... Oh, she is kind of... She's attractive. Yeah, very attractive.

I mean, she's older now. Where was this? That was at my grandmother's house in New Jersey. In New Jersey, yeah. Sure, sure. Well, that generation, you know, I had a dream, actually. I had a dream last year that, this is true, that somehow I ended up in my mother's house in the 30s or something, you know. Yeah, yeah.

And there was no sense of, this was in my dream, there was no sense of, of course of therapies of self-realization of uh anything looking inward any awareness there was no sense of it even in the air i i don't uh like those sometimes when you're in dreams and and there's that moment where uh you you have absolutely no awareness of yourself it's fucking beautiful man sorry man no no it just struck me deeply that that's you're in pain and that should go on a t-shirt yeah give it to me again sometimes when you're in a dream and dreaming of yourself it's just beautiful you have no awareness of yourself so you always have an awareness of yourself that makes it that brings pain right no no i feel better when all of a sudden you're not conscious of yourself and a little bit a a little bit. Yeah, I mean, we can talk about other things, though.

I don't think we can. I bet you a hundred bucks it comes back to this every time. No, I didn't bring you here to talk about me. Yes, you did. You said, I think you know, you have some answers. Well, you seem to have some, like... Then you started asking. Right.

Well, I mean, what I want to know is how do you evolve you know into outside okay so the indecisiveness the indecisiveness and then the the sort of uh beating the shit out of yourself and you've taken action around that stuff you're boxing you always played basketball i know because i knew guys who played basketball with you and i always thought that if i knew how to play basketball when i was a younger comic i could have met you sooner but i didn't know how to play basketball and everyone was going over there to play basketball with you i thought i thought i blew an opportunity there, because I knew people who played basketball there. Right. So I think one mistake is thinking of it as an opportunity, because it's really just a life experience. We play basketball, so you would have been...

I didn't know how to play basketball. It would have stood out that you felt like it was an opportunity. It would have stood out because I don't know how to play. Well, that too. So you've been screwed. Either way. Yeah, but like a lot of guys you're lucky you didn't like playing the game we it was a pretty competitive no i we still play but it i don't know it's no it's a fun game they're all great guys who do you play who do you play i can't name them all because it's kind of like a oh okay it is it's a bit of a kind of sacred guys sure no i get it um but when you started out, you weren't a comic. You didn't start in comedy.

No, I started as a writer. After college, I wrote for Sanford & Son when I was like 25 years old. Did you think Red Fox was hilarious? I thought Red Fox was funny, but I was learning to write scripts. Right. And then after I wrote three of them that they shot, I was confused because I was kind of wondering how you write more than three. Why do you write 20? Why do you write 40?

Right. And I had a therapist then, which was very fortunate, and I said, I think something's wrong with me because anyone would be happy to be working on the number one show at the time and be making really good money. And why am I? She said, you're bored. And it struck me like a therapist saying everything my mother had never said. That's how it struck me.

Right. Because I was always taught that it was, you're a problem. Right. Well, she said, you're bored. And I never thought of it that way. And that's when I started to do stand-up, because I was bored. And that's why the Larry Sanders Show, for instance, is not really a formula series. It made it hard, but it was like a little movie every week as opposed to some formula.

But when you did, once you figured out your comic voice and you were guest hosting The Tonight Show and stuff like that, did you feel limitations within that? Yeah, I get bored fast, man. I would host for a week and then I went, why would I do this for a whole year? First of all, I mean, it's very hard. For a lifetime.

And then the reward, if it goes well, you do it for a lifetime or something. And I sure envy those guys who do it well. Yeah. And, I mean, it's even the same with my stand-up, which is why I'm in the middle as I speak to you of trying to expand my style into something that's current with how I think of life now. How are you approaching that? It's really tricky, but it's, you know, a bit of a conversation about the world and what, you know – I saw a lot of this stuff coming with the world. I was a hippie and anti-establishment, and this materialistic money run is a dead run, and that's just what we're proving. As we speak, I think the government's conceivably bankrupt as of 48 hours from now or something

as we speak. That's right. So nothing surprises me. Like, I don't think the system works. Right. But in some ways, I think the obstacle with that is, is for enough people, it seems to work okay and no one wants to fight it. I think they're going to start.

I think they're starting to flail a bit, too. Really? I think the masses are certainly flailing, and I think they don't know what it is, and they're not willing to admit that it's all of us who have supported a false system and a big false system with a big spin. Right, right. Which is a God we trust, which is not the case at all. It's the money and power matter. Well, the government has been sort of functioning as a money laundering operation. I think when you have to say, that's right, it's one big Ponzi scheme.

But I think when you say the government, you have to understand that you have responsibility in that. I think each person has probably thought, ah, these are my values. They're the same as I want money and I want a job and I want this and I want that too and I want a better car. It becomes hard to not be hypocritical even if you're a liberal thinker. That's correct. Because everybody wants to be comfortable and then you sort of send money to a charity of your choice and you feel like you're doing something. Yeah, and I always put in parentheses on those charity donations, I put loan and I never see the money again. And I go, look, in parentheses it says loan.

I really do. What a little foot in the comeback. I donated a lot to the Japanese earthquake, to the Red Cross. A lot of money. You put loan in parentheses. They owe me so much. It's awkward now when I meet anybody from the Red Cross. I don't know whether to say anything or not.

You just look at him and go, huh? Where is that? I go, you know, I haven't heard from you guys. And he goes, what are you talking about? Then I feel awkward. You know, it's the middle of a disaster. It's not the time to bring up money. You'll get it back. Karmically, you what are you talking about? Then I feel awkward. You know, it's a mental disaster. It's not a time to bring up money. You'll get it back.

Karmically, you'll get it back. Yeah, I think so. Isn't that the big plan? Yeah, I'll probably get four pints of blood. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's worth it when you need it. So you're trying to engage on a sociopolitical level with people or just raising money?

Yes, ultimately an emotional, psychological level because it's really, we can't know what the problem is unless we know who we are. So anybody who doesn't know their true self, they can't know what the problem is. So there's no winning unless you know who you are. And the only real change can come from within. So when we talk about change, yes, we can. People think of that as outside themselves, change outside themselves. They must change and become more authentic. This is why we are. Otherwise, the system is going to continue to fail.

It's an addictive culture bottoming out. Yeah, I can't stop watching Charlie Sheen? Right. Because I'm, uh-oh, he's on Channel 7, hold on. Yeah. Because I'm addicted to watching Charlie Sheen. Yeah, because I actually spoke with him. And the type of weird shamelessness around the insanity he's experiencing, he actually is pushing out self-awareness.

He's saying, I will not be aware of what I think implies weakness. Well, he's not altogether wrong with many of the things he says. That's right. The issue of his particular, for lack of a better word at the moment, for his particular behavior, some of the issues underlying his particular behavior, are for him to discover and for his friends to help as other friends would. But to make it a freak show is falling into the trap of your false self because your false self wouldn't be watching that and wouldn't, you know. Let's discuss it.

Let me just understand something because I feel like we're on the same trajectory. Everybody's an addict about something. So, you know, judge not lest ye be judged. So you're saying that culturally we need to go through a crying stage. I think culturally we are bottoming out. Right. But like how does that self-awareness begin? Okay, here's how self-awareness begins.

Once you bottom out, which, by the way, no one is willing to admit yet. What we're doing is we're fighting against bottoming out. Absolutely. And yet when Charlie Sheen fights against bottoming out, we call that weird. Right. Okay? But when America does it, that's winning and that's America. So when Charlie Sheen says, I'm winning, I'm sorry. Isn't that the motto of the American culture?

Yeah. We're winners. We're going into our third Middle East country. Yeah. North Africa. Right. Country. And two Middle Eastern countries.

And pretty soon we'll be taking Hawaii again just for the hell of it. Yeah. Just to make it look like we're winning. Yeah. We're going to be winning. Mission accomplished. We got Hawaii. Yeah.

Mission accomplished. Right. So that's America. But they can see it. Everybody can see it when Charlie Sheen does it. Mission accomplished. We got Hawaii. Yeah, mission accomplished. So that's America. But they can see it. Everybody can see it when Charlie Sheen does it. But they can't see it when they themselves do it. So nothing can get repaired with the lying continuing.

It's no different than a family relationship or anything else. It's a lie in the family, which is, I'm sorry, you're addicted. You're the one who's addicted to winning and to being the best and having the best religion and the best this and the best that. So there's no true humility. I'm sorry. There's no true humility and gratitude, which is what an addict has to realize at the bottoming out place. You can't be driven by your ego or your false self. at the bottoming out place. You can't be driven by your ego or your false self.

So I think America should be sort of allowed to bottom out because this is, I'm sorry, aren't people embarrassing themselves trying to fight this bottoming out thing? It's compounding the problem. Right. It's sort of like you're saying that America is like the emaciated crackhead who's wild-eyed saying, I'm fine, I'm fine.

I don't have a problem. Well, they're saying, in fact, I'm more than fine. We're winning. We're winning. We're still number one. I don't think you can talk yourself into it, which is what spin is supposed to do. We're going to talk you into believing. But isn't part of the entertainment complex, part of that's not so much the spin, but the way of avoidance? I mean, part of me thinks, like I have said it on this show before, haven't we been entertained enough?

Yeah. I'm going to leave now, as a matter of fact. Are you really? That's it. I bottomed out, right? We haven't entertained enough. No, you can't leave. Gallagher left.

That would be bad. Yeah. No, no. I just mean... I don't put myself above any of these issues, so we have been entertained enough. Was there a moment, though, where you... We've forgotten that enough is enough. Right. It's just...

But what was the moment, Gary, where you did very provocative and sort of groundbreaking things with television and with how comedy will be perceived and turning television in on itself satirically and sort of changing the game in terms of format. So you've achieved an amazing amount comedically and in your profession. And you're incredibly well respected. And you still tell jokes, yes? Yeah. So has this thing that you're talking about now always been kind of like eating at you?

Yeah. No, like I said earlier, I was a hippie when I was in college. So I was, for some reason, very anti-establishment. And if you look at Abbie Hoffman in 1969 and what they were saying, Abbie Hoffman turned out to be exactly right. If the United States continues to be about money, it'll be its downfall, and we better look at the culture. And he was also very funny.

He was really funny, and he did that all without Facebook, by the way. Everybody's had Facebook. They had their little revolution. And then people have forgotten that in that Chicago 68 convention in Chicago, the tanks came in and started beating the shit out of those people. And we say, look at my God, look at what the Egyptian government was doing to those people who were against the...

Happened here. Who want freedom. Yeah. Yes, it happened here. Four killed at Kent State. And it will happen again if you actually were to do that. Go out in the streets, which they're doing in Madison a bit, and they're trying to shut that down. Yeah, and I actually heard you talk a bit about that, and you said you were a little confused, as am I.

I must say that's the most confusing issue that I haven't sorted out yet about the unions and the teachers. It's not black and white. I kind of thought when students get paid, teachers should get paid. That's what I thought. I took the wimp approach. Let me see if I can make it funny. It's very complicated. When you did Larry Sanders, I mean, did you actually –

how close were you to being offered a regular position as a... I was. I had to make a decision right before, I had to make a simultaneous decision. Between the Tonight Show? Between, no, at that point, the Tonight Show, at that point I was offered for Sanders, I was offered

the show after Letterman. I was offered the show after letterman which i think uh that letterman's old show letterman had already moved to cbs okay okay so you're offered that ferguson spot the 12 30 yeah and prior to that i was offered the original conan o'brien spot i mean they're going back going back right so i had to make a decision literally whether to host a talk show on CBS or do a show about a guy who hosts a talk show. Right. And so as we're sitting here having this discussion, Mark, it would make sense that you could see me choose the guy who hosts the talk show because I can

examine all these issues much more deeply. Right. And that interests me. Yeah. And so I stayed true, I think, to myself. I have no regrets about that move. Oh, no, it's a great show. And that interests me. Yeah. And so I stayed true, I think, to my myself. I have no regrets about. Oh, no, it's great. That move. And I think that you would probably be sitting behind a desk hating yourself right now if you had made a different decision. I think that's probably true. Probably true. Of course, depending on the guest list. Depending on the guest list. So. Depending on the guest list. So on some level, that was actually a rebellious show. In your mind.

I think everything, well. When you decided to do Sanders and deconstruct the behind the scenes of late night television. I think they're all rebellious shows that I do in a way. Yeah. I've never said it like that, but I think they're all a bit anti-establishment definitely and this is my first show uh uh it's gary shandling show i was going to uh nbc wanted to do it but they said you can't talk to the camera you could talk to a dog can you put a

dog in there and talk to the dog that's true so i wrote a script where i talked to the dog yeah and it felt like a formula to me so i i said no. And then Showtime said, you can talk to anything you fucking want. That was an actual... They also were very hesitant to let me play a comedian. I played myself, a comedian who was... And they said, you can't play a comedian. No one will understand. They don't understand what a comedian is.

And I said, well, let's go through that a minute. There was the Jack Benny show, the George Burns show, and the Lucy show, which... Dick Van Dyke show. Yeah, there you go. It's one of the biggest sitcoms ever. Lucy, I think Burns show, and the Lucy show. Dick Van Dyke show? Yeah. There you go. It's the biggest sitcoms ever. Lucy, I think her husband, Ricky, was in the- The band leader.

The band leader, right? Yeah. At the club? Yeah. So, you know, I thought that was not accurate because I wasn't going to get into the minuscule kind of minutiae of comedy. It just was a guy, about a guy. Now, when you deal with these executives

and they say things like that, what's your impression, having grown up with television, and usually they're probably younger than me at this point, that they're saying these things based on what? Their own fear. Do you ever feel that? Oh, sure. I think that's the other issue,

that we're all making decisions based on fear. We have to be very, very, very, very, very careful because the other thing we're addicted to in America is the idea of security and trying to make everything permanent and solid and secure. In fact, life itself is impermanent, not solid, but purely energy, as proven by quantum mechanics. And the idea of trying to make it something secure, as going as far as putting up walls around it, is ignorance. It's just ignorance. And so that's all based on fear. I mean, we should do what we can to prevent terrorism, but this incredible panic to sense of underlying panic about protecting what we have is what a human being on his own can't do.

There's nowhere in any religion, any philosophy, where it says once you have the stuff, make sure no one else gets it. We should be embarrassed. Yeah, that's a power thing. That's a politics. It's not a religion thing. So is that crazy? Am I crazy for that?

Because no one seems to. Now, you would say, where does that lead? What, your vision? Yeah, where does that lead? You could say, so then what would happen if people live that way? Well, that's an addiction. Needing to know the answer is an addiction. Well, I think what you're saying is not unlike some of the more idealistic thinkers of the late 60s where, you know, it's where why can't the global human community behave like human beings

and respect each other across the board? And the problem with that, I guess, is that there's always going to be those people that want to take advantage and control. Oh, no, the world is flooded with sociopaths and others who will take advantage, and you do need regulations. You're right. Now, when you do things like, because I know that you have a lot of respect for for hosting and for comedy that before you became more politically aware or more in tune with these these issues within yourself, I think you exhibited a an amazing amount of vulnerability in your stand up.

some level that that also speaks to the human heart so i i think do you see do you see that you know throughout your career you were never an aggressive person you never set out to hurt people and and there was there's actually warmth there now did you feel satisfied with that when you were doing yeah yeah yeah and uh you know mark uh uh i have talks with uh people that that will go uh unnamed right now until i get that drink that I've been begging for. Do I not have any? No, that's okay. I don't really drink, but it could be, you know, something. I've got water. I'm going to give you a mug

when you leave. I had these mugs made. It's nice. It's got my cats on it. It's got your cats on it. And my head. My head's on it, too, over here. And they're very nice. They have a good weight to them. And you pour stuff in there? Sure.

Or coffee. Or you can have that cocktail. Whatever you need. But it comes empty? You give it to them empty. Yeah. That says a lot. Yeah.

That says a lot right there. But we filled it with this. Joy. Why don't you fill it with joy? I'm going to, if we can get there. I'm sorry, buddy. No, we're almost at the joy. What were you going to say, though?

Do you remember? Yeah. Because I said some people that should go unnamed. I've had long discussions with them talking about that it's actually about heart. And really, no matter what you think and no matter how clever and no matter how new and sort of alternative the comedy is, it still is about heart in a very subtextual way. And being a full human being really comes across on camera and in life. And I think that's a great goal is to become a full human being and a willingness to to show your heart and i would say

probably that uh my early comedy in which uh there was an enormous amount of uh vulnerability and self-deprecation uh that it was uh accurate a good way that i discovered to be funny and uh uh you know i still possess that it's just that we haven't hit that point in our discussion quite yet where it's come up, but I still possess that. It's definitely there. Yeah, yeah. I think it's always there. That's not going to go away.

That's a basic part of my personality. But it's balanced out, I think, as I've gotten older. And so that's what I'm exploring on stage now is a balance to it. And I think that's what resonates with your comedy and always has with me even when you were exploring somebody as self-centered as larry sanders that that the heart of it never came across as as uh no i was very you know i gotta tell you something mark seriously in that writer's room yeah which is no bigger than the room we're in now as we speak. Some people mistakenly think that's a dark show about people trying to get what they want.

No, it's so not. No, it is a show about people trying to get love. Right. And that shit gets in the way. And they're trying to figure out, you know, with a little lack of awareness, how to get past that shit to get to the love. And so, I mean, everybody on that show is by the way in reality

we're so close to each other uh in a very special way that no one will ever understand because we we were there on that stage in a really kind of experimental lab kind of way we didn't have the name on the door of the big studio and all that. And it was about exploring feelings. Was that a discussion that was had? That part about that, yes. I mean, that's my approach to it that then I would have to bring to the sense of the show so there was no confusion. Because I've worked on shows, different kinds of shows, and I'm experienced. So this was a show in which let's not think of this as a show and that you have to do it right.

This is about being who you really are and making sure every moment is honest. And I think people discovered, actors and writers both discovered, and myself, discovered a lot about ourselves in reality and i think you changed the game with how you know people were willing to let moments sit with comedy that there are moments on the larry sender show where it would just be uh you and rip you know standing there by a camera you know watching something on the monitor and then you know maybe looking away or but i mean they would hold for like 20 seconds or 30 seconds because the the the truth actually is in the silence that's right so we come back to the other problem yeah in life is people are afraid to have a silent moment like that there

and in that silence right there is all the truth and all the wisdom in the world. Yeah, I almost cried during those. You've got to stop fucking talking. Everybody's fucking talking, jumping up and giving their opinion too quickly. Right. What is that? Addiction. Addiction to preventing me from having to discover my true self.

A defensive reaction to not going any deeper. Right. Self-protective. Yeah. Oh, yeah? Well, listen, I'll tell you this right now. Right, right. If there was global warming, a friend of mine in the gym said to me the other day,

and, you know, I don't really care to use labels like conservative and liberal. I think that's where a lot of the confusion comes from. But he's very committed, which is his choice, to believe that global warming is not true, which is a very complicated scientific issue. And he said, you know, the Sierra snowpack this year set a record. It was a 50-foot snowpack this winter. So how can there be global warming when there's a snowpack this year set a record it was a 50 foot snowpack this winter so how can there be global warming when there's a snowpack that's broken the record and i said well let's think about it for a second i mean how come you get the chills when you get heat stroke yeah and he went wait a minute i never that's a good point i don't know that's a good point it I don't know. That's a good point. It stopped him dead. Do you understand? He's still thinking about it.

Here's what he's doing. He's taking the concepts of hot and cold, taking them literally, not realizing they are two things on different sides of the same coin. Yeah. So that when one reacts, there's a reaction equal on the other side of the coin. He's just seeing hot and cold. And he says, how can it be cold when it's supposed to be hot? Well, then how come you get the chills when you get heat stroke? Yeah. Right. You short-circuited him.

I completely short-circuited him. Yeah. And he stopped. That's good. It's nice to be able to do that. I think that's the idea of what happens in the silence, sort of. I think you're right. I had a guy, after that thing you heard about the Madison thing,

some guy wrote me a letter about how it's unfeasible to carry unions and that if people can't carry their own weight, this is a free market system. The market will define the bottom line and level everything off, and that's why it's so good. Like three paragraphs of just very well-stated, conservative, but fiscally conservative talking points. And then I noticed at the bottom he was an architectural firm.

So all I wrote back was, I understand, period. I'm glad you're doing well, period. Right. And all he wrote back was crafty, dot, dot, dot. Well, crafty is a good perception, really. Isn't it? Well, that was the short-circuiting thing. That was nice.

Yeah, that was a good one. But those are the moments, I think, like you said, that was two sentences that got that effect. I think it's art, Mark. I think it's art that brings these truths to the surface. I don't think it's ever going to be politics. I don't think it has been historically. No, I think the heart thing is exactly at the heart of the matter, where you look at somebody like

Pryor, who somehow or another bridged a racial gap that seemed unbridgeable just by putting himself his emotions, you know, opening himself up and taking that risk. I think you're right. That all of a sudden there was a communication that had never happened before between black and white.

Yeah, that's a good point. I think art is mirroring life is what the real definition of art is. And I think prior mirroring life itself, which was his life, made you feel compassionate in a way that you're right. You can feel it. You can feel it with you, too. And there's a lot of comics that don't have it. There's a lot of comics that are just telling with you too and there's a lot of comics that don't have it there's a lot of comics that are just telling jokes and there's a lot of comics that are yelling but to actually you know take emotional risks that are genuine on stage that's the fucking courage so that's what i'm still trying to do and it's hard it's hard because uh

because they are emotional risks and i don't even know sometimes what i want to say in those risks so that's what I'm dealing with. That's why I sort of, when you asked me to do this a couple months ago, I said give me a month, and then it was give me another few weeks, because I was still in a place where I was working on that pretty intensely. Do you think about TV projects now? I don't think about TV projects like every 30 days, like it's the closest I come to being a woman is every 30 days I get cranky.

And I realize it's because I'm thinking about TV and what should I, what I should do on TV. That's the truth. I don't know. It's, I my finger on it. I haven't found an idea that I'm passionate about to do. But we'll see if I come up with something as I continue forward in this vein that I've spoken about. Do you feel like a compulsion to do it or it just comes and goes? It comes and goes. Yeah. But can I talk to you about that moment, though? Because I thought that I tried to talk to you about it. Yeah, what was it again?

I forgot. It was just one of these, and it was actually a reflection on what you're talking about, and I think you're at a different point, but it was such

a beautiful moment where you were hosting the Grammys, and Jack Nicholson was presenting Bob Dylan with the Lifetime Achievement Award, and Bob Dylan played

a song that no one could identify. And Jack brought him to the podium. And Jack was sort of in his time zone and a little stilted. And then Dylan takes the podium, takes the mic, and Jack's standing next to him. And there's a long pause, like awkwardly long pause. And Dylan says, well, it's just like my father always told me. And then another a long pause, like awkwardly long pause. And then Dylan says, well, it's just like my father always told me. And then another really long pause.

And then he goes, yeah, he said a lot of things. And then another long pause. And then he thanks the people and he walks off. And then they go to commercial and you come back on and say, Jack Nicholson and Bob Dylan are back. I just overheard them backstage talking about how they wanted to do more television. To me, it was so hilarious. Hopefully, I would say, in hindsight,

knowing them both now, knowing them both personally, by the way, and having to, in fact, explain that it wasn't an attack to One of them. Because, I mean, how can you love any more than you would love those two guys? That's right.

That's right. Absolutely right on the line of. But that's a risk that happens, right? They're so completely authentic. Right. That I think the audience felt something that needed to be commented on or it would be in denial itself. Right. And that is a way, if I'm not mistaken, of doing it without really saying anything negative about those guys. Yeah, it's just true in the moment. Right. But also the television in itself as a medium is it undermines authenticity.

It doesn't require authenticity. And for you to find it with Larry Sanders or with other... I agree with you. I think even the reality shows, as we all know, are mediated. That's right. The only time you see authenticity is when someone's being taken away in handcuffs. And they're going, Fuck you! That bitch did it again!

It's like, that's a real moment. I used to do a bit about that, where that person then turns and winks to the camera. Because they even know. They still know they're on camera. Sure. And I think that, like, in getting back... Why do criminals put, like, a jacket over their head when there's a television camera covering them? Sure.

That means you don't need a gun in your house. You just need a TV camera. But what? Run with a sheet over their head and go, I don't want anyone to see me publicly. You, like, worked it out. That's true. I'm just working on it. Give me a second.

So I think your statement was about television, not about those individuals. I love those guys that are authentic and sort of rebellious, and they may have issues to deal with. Sure, sure. But it is the human spirit, and it is raw. That's right. So, you know, the human spirit and it is raw that's right so you know and a raw human spirit is good you know it may be developing into something it may level off eventually but it might not so you don't you have a relationship with those guys now i mean you you've been around a while so yeah yeah and like dylan as a as a as a human being is is is completely

fascinating and and utterly self-aware of what he puts out there in a way. Well, he's utterly fascinating and he's masterfully deserving of his privacy, which will prevent me from saying anything more than how much I admire him, which is true. Yeah, I find him amazing. You know what else I find amazing about him is that he keeps working and that he loves to work, apparently. Yeah. That he lives on stage.

Do you fight with that at all, the desire to get on stage or not get on stage? No, I don't have. I would say that, as opposed to most of the guys, I actually don't love it. It's not like I can't wait to get on stage right uh uh however there's a love of something if you can explain it to me i'll be happy to listen but there's a love of some kind of expression uh and connection and communication and uh look man i I mean, I was I like making the class laugh when I could. I wasn't the class clown. You know that you can picture it. It was more like just laying a line in there when it was the right time. And I remember being a kid thinking, oh, I missed that moment. I can't go

back and get it. It's too late. Yeah. So there was this innate sense of timing. So I would say it was it's my path. In fact, I say that comics all the time that are starting out, you know, it almost has to be a calling because it's so hard. Yeah, I don't know it to be anything else for me. Right. I mean, there was never a second choice. Yeah, so I think the interesting part is why is it a calling, you know? Well, for me, if you want to know, I'll tell you. What I have gleaned from my relative obscurity and my desire to continue to

go on stage was that i never saw it as a career i never saw it as uh i just wanted to be a good comic but as i continue to do what i do i i i had to transition from you know in interacting with the audience and defying them to like me to develop that parental relationship and then i realized that all all i really wanted was a point of view and I wanted to be seen. I think when we talk about our mothers, that their needs overshadowed our identity. So I think there's some part of me that the only reason I'm up there is to be present and to have my space and to be reckoned with. Right. So what I would say to that is it's fantastic. And probably in your private life, then work on some of that need that you feel from your mother and not not expect the audience to give that to you. So they don't feel quite under the pressure that that I understand that demands, man. I thought you were going to say that I am right now.

No, no. But what I mean is. Yeah to say that I am right now. No, but what I mean is that gets fulfilled in somehow partly. I mean, everyone has, you need some of it. Yeah, you've got to give it to yourself, I guess. But I think what you described is exactly what is right. And then once you get that out of the way, then you've got to share your personal truth, and that's all I want to do. Yeah, everything you're saying is right. Oh. Yeah. And then once you get that out of the way, then you got to, you know, share your personal truth. And that's all I want to do. Yeah. Well,

that's all, everything you're saying is correct. What do you do with people that don't really like your personal truth? Well, do you, you don't carry any gun? No. You have no weapons or anything?

Just my mouth. Yeah. That's it. And I don't box. Yeah. That mouth can be a weapon boy. Yeah, it sure is.

It threatens a lot of people. So you're going to the club tonight? Yeah, I'm going to go to the club tonight. I actually went on stage last night to about 30 people that was not a hot crowd, and I wasn't really in the mood, and it was frankly awkward. And I've had other times all last week that were fantastic, and I thought something's really starting to form and last night I hit a little bump so it sort of never stops

what did you feel today like you know last night I actually I don't think I can your audience can't see this I had my hands in my front pockets of my jeans like this yeah and, which I never do, never do. And I was pushing down on the pockets, and I said, oh, my God, I'm leaning on my pants. That's a bad sign. And I realize it. And I mean, it's a bad sign. There was some reason I just didn't want to be there. And, you know, there are nights that you don't want to be there. And so since i'm there just as a walk-on i'm

not advertised so i sneak in so i can try some stuff and i wasn't in the mood really to be honest with you it's like people don't know like uh i mean uh even i don't know that i've uh experienced things that i do now because i have a choice whether to go on stage. Yeah. And then I don't have to do the material that ends the show and is what they're paying for. I just really didn't feel like communicating. Right.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I did not want to really talk. Right. And then they weren't bringing it out of me, which is not their job. And it was a fascinating sort of awkward long-distance phone call. How were those silences? Well, I said to them, I said, this is great.

Usually it takes me 20 minutes to get to an audience to be quiet like this. But here we are in the first minute. I said, doesn't this feel great? This is where love is. And since they were already quiet, they actually didn't know how to get quieter. But you could feel them trying. They were about to get under the table. Like one of those old nuclear bomb blasts.

Love is under the table. Duck and tuck and tumble, whatever the old gay expression was who were the uh who are the guys that uh that made you realize you could do it well i mean carlin deserves all the credit for uh uh reading my material when i was 19 i walked up into him in a club and make it short i walked into a club in phoenix and he was there and i had written some material in his style for him basically but knowing he wrote his own stuff uh for some reason I knew that yeah and I just asked him if he would read it and tell me what he thought this would have been way back when I was a first year college and he said yeah come

back tomorrow night I went back and he had read it and uh it was really shocking there was my material sitting in his dressing room on a little table, and he said, I read it, and there's something funny on every page, and it's very green. But if you're thinking of pursuing it, I would. And I think that's what really made me go forward, I think. I think that's really what made me go forward, because I moved from Tucson then to L.A. after I graduated from U of A.

And who were the guys when you were a kid that made you? There was a lot. Woody Allen was sure of that. Woody Allen. Did you ever get to work with him? No. Sorry, that's when I put my hand in my pants, actually, it sounds like. No, I'm tongue-tied every time I meet him,

but I did a benefit in New York just a few years ago, and he was in the audience, and I got to say hello to him. And to his face, I said, he just presented something at this benefit where he actually did five minutes of stand-up, which is so rare to see Woody do. Yeah, any of it. Actual stand-up. And I went up to him afterwards in the break, and I said, oh, my God, to see you do stand-up

was so fantastic. I beg of you to stop playing the clarinet or something like that. He plays the clarinet every Monday. And he laughed. I beg you. I beg you, stop playing the clarinet, which is his favorite thing. And that was the weird thing when he showed up on the oscars a couple years ago you know he did that i'll tell you something mark he sorry he walked out on the oscars and i am telling you i don't

remember i was sitting with a bunch of people i don't remember in the room do as i'm saying there were a bunch of people in the room and i i watched him walk on stage he was five strides into his walk to the microphone i said oh my god he's God, he's going to do stand-up. Yeah. I still don't know how I saw it coming. And it was almost like frozen in time. It was mystifying. It was amazing.

Yeah. I couldn't fucking believe what I was watching. Me too. I mean, he's a master that people just, you know, don't see. There you go. There is a guy you'd like to see do stand-up just because you love it. And, you know, he resists it. And so how long ago is it?

Six years ago or something? Was it that long already? Five. Holy shit. I don't know. I lose track. I do, too. They say time doesn't exist.

How's that going? Well, then I don't know what I'm wasting. I'm totally confused. I know I'm wasting something mark well this hasn't been a waste of time this has been great no i mean i i don't know how people will feel listening to it but i certainly have enjoyed talking to you i i it was i was nervous about it i don't know why now why would that be because i have a lot of respect for you and uh you know you did a lot of great things yeah and uh you know i didn't want to make it all about me,

and it was touch and go there for a little while. I love the interviews you do, though, where they are about you. I listened to a few. All of them? I didn't listen to all of them. They probably all are, but the few that I listened to, I got such a kick out of it, because I wish I could remember you were talking to Conan O'Brien.

Yeah. And he was like, well, Conan, you remember when I did the show? Yeah. Yeah. And you hear Conan go, uh-huh. And then I, and then I, and then I, and I say that with love. Yeah, no, I know. Because I totally relate to it.

I actually listened to that, and then I went, man, there have been a lot of times where I've talked about myself and just, I think, you know, wish I hadn't. But I think it's a cool way to do this show. I'm happy to talk about you. Do you feel good about it? Yep. Well, thanks for coming, Gary. It's always a pleasure coming into this part of town. Pleasure a lot.

Thanks. This is the theme to Gary's show. This is the theme to Gary's show. Gary called me up and asked if I would write his theme song. I'm almost halfway finished. How do you like it so far? How do you like the theme to Gary's show? This is the theme to Gary's show, the opening theme to Gary's show. This is the music that you hear as you watch the credits. We're almost to the part

of where I start to whistle. Then we'll watch his Gary Shandling show. This was the theme to Gary Shandling's show.