Yannis Pappas Hour - A Very Special Episode w/ Robert Kelly - live from Montreal

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Yannis is in Montreal for the Just for Laughs Festival and records this episode live with guest Bobby Kelly. These old friends share their experience taking care of the special needs. How Bobby set the English speaking world back in the eyes of the French and what Bobby thinks about the canceling of Louie CK. SponsorsDad Grass https://dadgrass.com/pages/FUMES?utm_source=paragon_fumes&utm_medium=podcast_sponsorship&utm_campaign=fumesShady Rays https://shadyrays.com Promo code: LongdaysBonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysYannis Pappas is just a comedian that dares to go where others won’t. He’s a delicious maniac and this is his weekly show. His new comedy special can be viewed for free on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQSubscribe to our clips page for podcast highlights here: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwThe show goes out every Saturday. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Down this poppers, yeah When you all tucked up in the baby mall And the news online going on and on What's lying wrong and there's something up Now here comes a great kid you know you can trust From the true who's who To the news and cameras To the fake politics

And the propaganda Get his kids screwed in Got a lot to say Aw shit, it's about to be a long day It's a long day, it's a long day Sorry for the people who couldn't make it in You know, we packed it out And, you know, maybe we'll have to add a show

At some point, so I appreciate this This looks like we're doing this podcast right in the middle of COVID That's what it looks like And that's what I'm gonna tell myself This is great You know, you could do a podcast with people, without people, whatever, but welcome to long days with Giannis Pappas. I'm Giannis Pappas. I'm American. I'm trying to learn French so I don't get kicked out of the country. You know, I'm aware of bill 96. You may not be, but you have a certain amount of time to learn French or they just kick you out. But you have a certain amount of time to learn French Or they just kick you out

So bonsoir, bonjour And if we curse a lot on this podcast It's because we're trying to speak French So that's what we're going to do We have an excellent episode for you All the way from Montreal Which really is just an hour north of Troy, New York Isn't it?

This is fake France, okay? This is a Vegas casino called Paris, is where we are, and we're in a Hilton that looks like a bomb shelter. This building is the ugliest. It's like a square brown shit, is what it looks like. Looks like a robot took a shit and it formed into a building. That's how you know this isn't Paris, okay? And they got poutine. They don't got croissants. We're American. We're taking over.

Barbie. Barbie. My next, my guest coming to the stage is Barbie, who's an American icon, really. Originally one of the first ambiguous non-binary dolls. If you pull down Barbie's's pants she is as ambiguous as it gets and believe me as a kid i looked i looked a lot and then i just put my imagination on there and that was the beginning of the modern era where you go you know what whatever you want

to believe you believe did i try to fuck that Barbie doll? Maybe, I'll let you imagine Like a good Shyamalan movie You let your imagination run away with it I did not I did not I never tried to have sex with a Barbie doll I did have sex with real women And a few people who told me they were women

And so it worked out fine Okay? Because reality is a suggestion and whatever you say goes. Welcome, my esteemed guests, to the Long Days with Giannis Pappas podcast. I've been friends with this guy for about 10 years. He was very hard to book.

I just went down three rooms on the 13th floor and asked him And he took off his sleep apnea machine And said yes Give it up for the legend The hilarious comedian From fucking Boston I'm going to do this whole podcast with this accent

Give it up for Bobby Bobby Kelly everybody Bobby Kelly I don't I don't up for Bobby. Bobby Kelly, everybody. Bobby Kelly. I don't... I don't... I don't like that they laughed at the three doors down sleep apnea when that's the exact thing that happened.

That's exactly what you did. I walked into your room and I was like, does Bane sleep here? I mean, you got a whole contraption going on and I'm jealous. Well, I mean, you got a whole contraption going on, and I'm jealous. Well, I mean, I don't want to die in my sleep. That's the worst thing for a fat person, to die like Mama Cass. Nobody wants to die.

Because then they're just going to add sandwich in there. Yeah. They're going to be like, oh, he was eating a fucking sandwich or choked on a fucking Reuben. Yeah. How do you want to die? How do I want to die? How do I want to die? What would be a good way for you to go

for people to be okay with it? I would like to go mid-conversation on a podcast. Just put on somebody who needs the hits. Not like this, like a popular podcast. I don't know if you can see the seats in here. Those aren't ghosts in those chairs. That is good old... There's a couple old people that show up. I don't know if you can see the seats in here. Those aren't ghosts in those chairs.

Wow. That is good old... There's a couple old people that show up. I don't know if they're really here. That's not your fans. I mean, unless they're Greeks. Definitely not. They could be Greeks.

We show up. We have to be there. Is that a Greek accent? I don't know. That was what you call a generic foreign accent, and I appreciate that. We do a generic. We're American. We don't really learn the specifics or the nuance of the accents.

Yeah. We just go America and other, you know? Yeah. It's weird. I just toured Europe, and they had- Just stop bragging, dude. All right? What are you going to do?

And everybody knows two or three languages over there. Yes. And English is always one of them. Yeah. And then you come to America and it's like, I don't know what the fuck you're saying. Well, yeah, but you know what? Like, you know, one language has to be the lingua franca. If you don't know that, get smarter, okay?

I've read a few books. I have Wikipedia. The lingua franca is sort of like the commonly accepted international language by the country that fucking can whoop anyone's ass if need be. And that's us. It's funny that you said it, no one responded to lingua franca, and then you're like, oh, I have to explain to these assholes what it is. Yeah.

Because I didn't know either. Well, look at the crowd. It's like maybe two fans and the rest are disinterested people who bought passes to the festival. Yeah. They're just looking at something to do before dinner. Yeah, they're just going, oh, look, oui, oui. And they're

reluctantly listening to something in English. So, you know, they probably know Lingua Franklin. Lingua Franklin was a great guy. He's a good guy. Lingua Franca is Latin, and it means like, you know, the language everyone communicates. So one of them has to be it.

It's English now. It will be China next year. It'll be Chinese. Did you know that it was almost German? It was almost German until we intervened, yeah. One vote made it English. Well, one vote. And the guy who made the vote was German. Well, I think you forgot about a

storming of a beach. That had something to do with it as well. No, that was... We stopped that. I mean, I think the plan was... I was a founder when they were picking, when doing the Constitution and all that shit. They were like, what language should we speak? And there was a lot of German. And it was one vote away from being German

being America's language. Look it up. It's a fact. I don't know, but thank... It's a fact. If that happens, thank God for whatever dude voted against that. Because can you imagine we are up here and we're like,

hi, welcome everybody, this is Faisen Ousen. Hello, nice to see you. Comedy is just really penetrate this culture. So we're going to do a little techno dance for you. And then also we take bottles and put them in the anus so we can feel. Yes, with fish inside. Yes. My name is Heijen Schnüder.

My name is Hans Flatt. We don't really do comedy. We just talk effeminate or very angry. You ever notice there's only two kind of German accents? It's really just like, hi, I'm German. It's either like overly effeminate or like, Gertrude, Gertrude. There's no middle class German accent.

They get very excited too, man. They get like, really? You're American? Oh, this is great. Yeah. And they start, you do comedy? Oh, I love comedy. Yeah.

They get way excited, especially when they're drunk. Very fun people to hang out with. I love your generic foreign accent. It applies. That's all I get. Hello, I'm Bobby. We're from... Me and you have been having a good time up here in Montreal.

I want to start this podcast by telling the fans about how you set the English-speaking world back another hundred years in the eyes of French Quebecers. Okay? They're already a little reluctant about us. They're already reluctant about people speaking English. They're trying to hold on to their Francophile culture. Me and Bobby were sitting on a bench. First of all, we're American.

We're rude. I had my backwards New York Yankees hat on. He's Boston trash. So we're sitting there, and I go, let's go. We're smoking cigars. Smoking little mini cigars. We took a little exercise walk and, of course, stopped for a cigar break. Yeah.

Like you do when you're an athlete. Yeah. We went to a very beautiful bench with a fountain, and everybody was enjoying the sun and shade and birds, and we ruined it with cigars and we were sitting there about to leave and I love the way you laugh it's almost like someone tickled your belly because I because you go let's go and I go hey And I go, hey, check this out. I laughed so hard. So he goes, check this out.

This French Quebecer, you could just tell from the facial expression. She sits down next to us with her family, with her family, right next to Bobby. And then Bobby goes, I go, let's go. Bobby goes, check this out. And he goes, and he farted. It was on a wood bench. And the wood just vibrated. it just went like an instrument it went like a fucking cello just went through this bench but i'm staring at his face like this and he's looking at the lady's face you're staring at my face i'm staring at her

face she went like this exactly and then i went, welcome to America. And we walked off like it was a Trey Parker production. Trey Parker, Marston. Oh, you got the video. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't someday there's going to be some American guy who sits down at whatever restaurant she owns or whatever, whatever it is, he's going to be very polite and she's just going to, something's going to set her off. She's going to remember that. You farted on her, Bobby.

Yeah, she will run for office somewhere someday and then put a stop to us. Yeah, she'll say, you know what, the Just for Laughs in English Festival, I'm not sure if we need it. Yeah. I'm not sure if we need Mark Riccadonna to pitch his show. Is he here? No, he's not. I don't have my glasses on.

But we did come up with a conclusion, so it was almost scientific or psychological that nothing, out of all the jokes you'll see, out of all the shows you people love, out of all the comedians you think are brilliant, nothing in the world is funnier than the fart nothing will beat the fart i mean i've laughed a lot but i haven't laughed i mean chapelle special was good but not as good as do you understand like i mean eddie murphy's

brilliant but not as brilliant as that. I mean, we laugh. What was it? As a joke, a comedian ever made us laugh like that? No. And when you said Chappelle, I was like, maybe Chappelle killed him softly because the last one was a little Ted talk. Oh, you choose. Yeah, you choose.

Yeah. Dave Chappelle says he's doing a special. The trans community gets prepared. At least I got one. People are scared of the word. I wish you farted at the end of that one. Yeah. No, the fart is the Holy Roman Emperor of comedy.

Nothing beats it. Nothing beats it. Nothing beats it. As comedians, we are just merely chasing the fart. We're chasing the fart, the all-time comedy. Great. Nothing can ever beat it. Nothing.

And that's why when comedy causes a controversy, you go, do you know that you're attacking people whose leader is the fart? Yeah. That's our leader. Our leader is the fart. It's the JC of the comedy world. It truly is comedy Jesus.

It is, man. And it's kind of like a ghost. It's a spirit. What have you ever laughed? I mean, I farted in church and I saw the priest look up and go... Like in the

middle of a sermon, just look up and go, that was a good one. I remember Max, we were at a... We were at my fucking... My cousin's wedding. They rented a farm. My fucking uncle's been waiting his whole life for this wedding, for his beautiful daughter. A farm. We're all by a pond.

There's clouds. There's birds. Everybody's there. They look beautiful. And my precious little son, Maximus, was sick. And he had a stomach thing. And right when they were like, do you take

dude the fucking whole wedding lost its mind and couldn't get it back like they were oh god where the groom's mom was pissed I mean she was so fucking mad the moment ruined

by a fucking four-year-old asshole. You know what? At this point, I feel like every comedic concept has been done. You know, we're sort of in a post-modern... I don't know if there's anything that will ever be new again. The one comedic

premise that has not been transformed and executed as a show is just a show in all farts. All farts. All farts. Like, would you, I bet you this place was packed if the show was like, all right, there's four comedians. They ate Indian food all day. Yeah.

And they're going to come up and they're going to try to communicate through farts. But we have a buffet outside an hour before and we let the people here eat too. Yes. And then we all come in and we just fucking toot our faces off. We open it up to a Q&A where the farts are questions and we try to respond in kind. Yeah, with farts. And then we try to

name the farts, like the wet mosquito. Yeah, and then whoever can't fart gets eliminated from the show. You have to go. Like if you happen to have a great stomach There's no need for you here You're not fun If your asshole doesn't squeak

Then you're not talented Then you don't have talent And you have no sense of humor You should just read books and eat lettuce When's the last time you read a full book? Interview with a Vampire. You read that book? Yeah, why?

Why would you read that book? I like girls. What are you saying? I'm married. So you basically read, like, that's like women's porn. Like, they love that. They love vampires. They do.

They love to get fucking raped by a vampire. I don't know why. Yeah, it's a big, it's like, that's a big genre. They do They love to get fucking Raped by a vampire I don't know why Yeah It's a big It's like That's a big genre They do They love being just

Fucking attacked in an alley And bit Yeah Yeah I don't Yeah Either that or a fucking A great tie

Or some cop or something Yeah Do you think like There's a small part Of the feminine brain That enjoys having bed bugs I don't know but They wake up And they just go Oh god Suck my You know They like it part of the feminine brain that enjoys having bedbugs? Because they wake up and they just go,

oh, God, suck my blood. You know, they like it. Oh, my God. How do you say bedbugs in French? Do they have them here? Bedbugs? Nobody here is French. I believe this is all English.

Oh, there's some French people in here. I fucking see it in their eyebrows. I see you. I know who you are. How worried are you about Omicron BA5? Is that a new video game? I don't know I'm 51 I'm overweight

I'm not worried about anything Throw whatever you got at me I'll eat it Yeah It's Omicron's out there right now It's big What the fuck is Omicron?

Come on, stop We got a mask You're scaring the shit out of the mask people No, she's good. She's going to, she'll be okay. The rest of us, it's, you know, the requirement for this podcast was that we both were actively positive. So. With AIDS?

No. Oh, I thought it was AIDS. Who's scared of AIDS anymore? I know. You're a dad. I'm more scared of bear bugs. Yeah. Bear bugs?

Bear bugs. Bed bugs. Isn't that funny? Remember how scared we were of AIDS? Oh, it was scary when you grew up at that time. Yeah, we grew up with the Cold War, AIDS, and crack. It was bad. That was crazy. What do they have now?

They have... No, now it's bad again. Now it's bad again. What do they got? That's why we need comedy again. Dude, AIDS is way worse than fucking Corona Dude they have AIDS was fucking They have climate change Which is depending on how you vote

Scary or not Depends on whatever reality you want to believe It's terrifying They got an epidemic You wear a mask and you're fine Kind of Not really Dude we couldn't bang.

We had to wear rubber. And if you didn't have a rubber, you took your life in your hands. That's true. I mean, that's nuts. How many times do you just go, fuck, please, God, as you're pumping away, don't let me die. I don't have the willpower to do that. I used to call that you did the crime, do the time. So back then, if you had unprotected sex,

then afterwards you would worry about what you got. For weeks. For two to 22 days. And pregnancy. We had to worry about getting her pregnant. That was a nightmare. Well, I didn't know that it was so hard to get a girl pregnant. It's really only like one day they're fertile. It's one day, one hour.

If she's not pissed off and her egg isn't flopping around, you can get her pregnant. Other than that, I mean, dude, I tried for a year and a half. She was drinking cough syrup. I was throwing chicken bones on her pussy. Like doing voodoo chants. I mean, it was hard to get her pregnant.

If I would have known that, I would have been you know... Oh, they have apps. They have apps that young men should get and get on an ovulation chart. You can come away for like 26 days out of the month. You can just dump inside of a girl. Yeah, it's very ironic because like when we're all younger, we're all, everyone's more fertile. And that's when sex and pregnancy feels a lot more natural. But also it makes you sort of irresponsible

because you're like 15 or 17 years old. Oh, yeah. So you're not going to be a great dad. But when you decide to have a kid like we both do, as comics we did it in our 60s, you know? Yes. You're very responsible. It's just not as easy to do, and it's not as fun.

When I got my wife pregnant, it was like clocking in. I came home, and she had a thermometer in her mouth. She hadn't shaved her legs in a year. That was the worst. She had a pregnancy book open to page six that she was reading behind my head. Yeah. I had to come in there and then hold her feet up like this and shake her. Yeah, shake it in like a pinball machine.

Ugh. It's terrible. It's not fun, dude. It was terrible. And I mean, look, I had to go get my sperm checked. It was embarrassing. How's your sperm? My sperm was good.

I mean, I thought it was going to be like Foster Brooks just fucking bumping into each other. But I remember, though, when I went to the... What the fuck was that? Oh, Jesus Christ. Get a mask on. Fucking Jesus Christ. Fucking AIDS and fucking Omicron. Put a muzzle on that goddamn person. Holy shit. I apologize, mask-. Fucking Jesus Christ. Fucking AIDS and fucking Omicron. Put a muzzle on that goddamn person.

Oh, shit. I apologize, mask-hole people. Sorry. You must have scared the shit out of him. Get them some earplugs. Look, we lost two people because of that, you fucking asshole. Yeah. Come on, guys.

Where are you going? What the fuck? Jesus Christ. Really? What else do you got? What are you going to go see a fucking farewell speech? Yeah, this is one of those, like,

yeah, when you lose two, you feel it, you know? Oh, Jesus. Especially those. Especially those two. Yeah. I mean, we can't even keep the middle-aged gay guys just fucking in here. Those are the funnest guys on the planet Earth. This is a podcast that needs a barker. We need someone actively in the mall going,

would you like to see a show? Come inside. Then they come in here and they just go, what is this? And you go, this is a new form of entertainment called a podcast. We're two comedians. Riff. Riff it. We riff it.

We riff it. We riff in hotel lobby chairs. We riff it in front of our fucking empty room. We riff it. Yeah. Record fucking empty room. We riff it. Yeah. Record this and put it on TikTok. So we've been doing... No one in here knows TikTok.

Look at the age of them. What? Yeah. I just cut my wood for the winter. How hilarious... But how hilarious would it be if these two have like a massive TikTok account? That would be hilarious.

I don't know. They're just swing dancers. Yeah. Right? But they do it naked. Yeah. Dude, I respect older people who don't go masked. They're brave, and I respect that.

They're going like, you know what? Well, he's got a mask, but he took it down. He took it down. Yeah. He took it down. Yeah, because you know why? His wife took it fully off. She's like, fucking bring it.

Yeah. Bring it, China virus. You know why they took it off? They took it off because they'd like it down. Yeah, because you know why? His wife took it fully off. She's like, fucking bring it. Yeah. Bring it, China virus. You know why they took it off? They took it off because they'd like to breathe. Yeah. Yeah, good for you. In other words, being older, you can't breathe. Yeah, cover your mouth, too.

Yeah. That's good. These poor people. You look like birds. I mean, did you have lunch today? You got it. I mean, what the fuck? I mean, yeah.

It looks like you're in an operating room. You got it. I mean, what the fuck? I mean, yeah. I mean, it looks like you're in an operating room. You have it. Yeah, I mean, look at this guy. Guy's got a Legion of Skank shirt on. We all have it. Yeah, exactly. He's wearing black shirt, black shorts, black socks, and black sneakers.

We have it. Yeah. Well, the worst part is the Legion of Skank shirt, which means at some point his parents are in danger of being killed by him. Yes. They probably are dead right now. That's how he got here. He stole their car.

Mom, we're going to be late. Here's the thing. Anyone that is either even indirectly connected to Luis J. Gomez, I don't want to be in the same room with them just because I know my daughter. That's how far away I want Luis J. Gomez from my daughter. Yeah. My son is best friends with Luis J. Gomez. Oh, you're raising school

shooters. They're going to be like the Columbine kids. No, his kid is gorgeous. Beautiful young. He's a very sweet kid. He will be my kid's bitch someday. But him and Max are best friends. When you go out with Louis, he'll fight with fucking anybody.

Any management, any waiter, anybody. He will confront them in front of the kids. And we went to that. You know the skydiving simulator? We went there. One girl went in. Her glasses broke the thing. They had to shut the thing down.

And Louis was pissed. Yeah. And he goes after the guy because he didn't give him respect. And James is like, Dad, can you please stop? And my kid's like, why can't you be more like Louis? I'm like, I'll fucking hit you. You want me to hit you? I'll fucking hit you.

Yeah, yeah. Well, because, yeah, Lewis is a tough guy He's a tough guy But a great dad Yeah Fucking beautiful dad He is a great dad and actually a very good person Well, let's not get carried away

Yeah, let's not go crazy I mean, let's not get carried away He has an illusion to fucking So these people still like him I wanted to just give everybody a tip If you have a friend from the New England area They tend to be very Ornery They're very ornery

Instead of telling their feelings They usually use sports As a way to convey their feelings They're a very strange breed of people They get very upset In spurts And this is the way you calm them down When they shake their finger at you when they're mad

What the fuck dude You go like that And it calms them down I did that shake their finger at you when they're mad. What the fuck, dude? You just go like that. And it calms them down. I did that to Bobby in the hallway. He was mad at me. He goes, you take too fucking long to answer my fucking text. And he was going like that. And I just went like that. All you have to do is E.T. somebody from Boston. Just E.T. someone from Boston. And then it calms us right down. It calms them right down. Give that a rub right here. So what makes people from the Boston area such animals? Well, because we grew up with, you know, blue collar, nothing, hot, fucked up little town.

It was very segregated. And we were a lot of Irish Catholic, big families, no love, bury everything. You get molested, don't talk about it. You get beat up, you fight, you get your ass kicked, your parents hit you, all that shit. And it's just all that fuck you comes out. It's not that way anymore, though. Boston is a rich town now. Boston is, you know, all those

guys are gone. Ben Affleck got out of Dodge. Ben Affleck was rich. He's never been that guy. He started that. Yeah, he was in fucking Newton with rich parents that were very political. Him and, what's the other guy? Tim Allen? Tim Allen, yeah. Matt Damon, thank you very much.

Matt Damon, who does look a little bit like a stretched out little person. So does John Cena. John Cena was one jizz away from being a midget. A little person. You can't say that. I fucked up. We're at Just for Laughs.

A little person, little person, I fucked up. I'll say little person three times to make it better. Little person, little person, little person. Little person. And then they appear when you say it three times. Don't do that. It would be funny if Brad Williams popped up behind the couch. No, little person.

Has anyone ever seen you on the street and said, oh, my God, there's the boxer Butterbean, and he's reading? I mean, that is probably one of the hackiest. I expect so more out of you. And the fact that you tried to Giannis it up by adding reading at the end, like reading,

like what the fuck? Why would I be reading? Because you got glasses on. You look like Butterbean just like after he put the paper down. Got it. Yeah, actually works. That actually works.

I like the joke. Yeah, it's a good joke if they knew who Butterbean was. I don't think they knew who Butterbean was. No, here. That actually works now. I like the joke now. It's a good joke if they knew who Butterbean was. I don't think they knew who Butterbean was. Here's the deal, though. You look like a retarded Ben Affleck. I look like... Let them laugh. Let them get it. They got that better than Butterbean reading.

A retarded Ben Affleck is still pretty high on the list. It's pretty high. I look more like... Ret pretty high on the list. It's pretty high. I look more like a... And retarded's not the word. Oh, Jesus Christ. What can't we say at the... Can somebody come up with a list of what we're not supposed to say?

It's special needs. My brother... And here's the deal. If you're about to write an article, my brother is special needs. So go fuck yourself. You didn't have to shave him every Christmas. I did.

It's the true story. You shaved your brother? I still do. Oh, shit. I still do. Because the funny thing is he'll shave and he'll just come out looking like... It looks like he just walked through the woods and he got... And he just got like spiky branches, took some of his hair off.

And it's just patchy all over the place. So he'll give it a first attempt. I let him go the first attempt, and then I got to come in and sort of even it out. You know I lived with six mentally, what do we say? Special needs. Special needs. Elderly.

You understand, back then when I worked with them. Be respectful, please. They're specially aged. They're specially aged. They're specially aged. Specially aged, special needs, special people. Yes. I lived with six of them when I was young for three years. Of course you did.

You're one of them. You're seven, you mean. I took care of them. I took care of them. What does that entail? I just made sure they didn't fucking Fuck each other or stab each other No because sex with them There's no

We are gay, you're gay They don't care about that, sex is sex And they like sex So how did you prevent them from doing that? Did you walk around with a whistle? I went No Barry Off Peter you prevent them from doing that? You walk around with a whistle? No,

Barry. Barry, off Peter. No, I actually, the first night there, because this was gorgeous, Bobby. This was back when I was really young. Oh, yeah. You're headed back that way, though, again. You're rising again like the phoenix out of the ashes. Not a phoenix. Instead of their ashes, it's just weight. Well, I was

very good looking, but the first night there, I kept hearing, Bobby, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob. And I was like, what the fuck? And I, Bob, Bob, Bob. And I went, Barry, I went into the guy's room, Barry. And he was jerking off to me. He thought I was really cute. So, well, I mean, I was kind of, it's kind of cool.

I mean, I never caught anybody jerking off to me. You know what I mean, I was kind of, it's kind of cool. I mean, I never caught anybody jerking off to me. You know what I mean? I was kind of like, yeah, I'm kind of good looking. That's cool. And then I used to wear these little. Wait a second. Hold up. So you let them continue?

Yeah. What am I going to do? Say stop? Well, I thought your job was to stop them from doing that. To each other. Oh, okay. Not to me. Right.

By themselves. Right. I'm going to fucking ruin a hot fantasy if he's got what's going on yeah so did you continue to watch or you just no i didn't stay in the room it's not fucking nuts well what did i just sat in a chair yeah man let me see that no but i mean you left the room i went oh i'm sorry oh but how do you know he was doing it to you because he was saying my name Oh So then we go Bob Bob And they went like this Bob come on get out of here

Get out of here And he and I I was like I'm sorry And I left So but you left the room With the knowledge that he was doing that You can't just go make a sandwich And forget about it

No he actually I went back to my room Then I came out And he was eating a sandwich And he was like He was like Bob Ha ha ha ha And he was laughing He was like Bob and he was laughing he was like bob

because he knew that i knew right and he knew yeah so it's like we both knew relationships not the same after that no we became closer um i love those guys i had so much fun living with those guys i used to go for motorcycle rides wait that seems like it's breaking the rules a little bit to let those guys drive motorcycles. No, I didn't let them drive. They held on to the back. They put the helmet on top of the head. It didn't fit, but it fit right on top.

They put the helmet on top of the helmet? The helmet didn't fit them, but I put it on top. I would drive them around. We used to have a good time. We used to hang out. Was that okay with the staff? Who let you, first of all, be in charge of these guys? Back then, it was a little looser.

Yeah, I have a bone to pick with the local Department of Health of Boston. They were high functioning, they called them. So they could take care of themselves. They could wake up. They could jerk off to you. They could jerk off to me. I wouldn't tell girls.

I got a free room, $100 a week and free food. So while I was going to college and doing comedy, I only had to be home from 11 to 8 in the morning, five nights a week, Fridays and Saturdays off. It was the perfect comedy gig. And so, I mean, I had such a great time.

And I would bring girls back too because, you know, I had this little section that was mine, but I would tell them I just had weird roommates. So, so we come in and they come out in their underwears. Hello. It was great, man.

So when she woke up and she saw him going, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, you're like, he's just weird. What's up everybody. Hope you're enjoying this episode with Bobby Kelly.

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So go check it out and chill out with Dadgrass. Yeah, they were fun, man. I used to love those guys. Here's the thing. I do have a special needs brother. I love him to death. He's the greatest guy in the love those guys Here's the thing, like, I do have a special needs brother I love him to death, he's the greatest guy in the world And here's the thing about special needs people Is their lives are absolutely incredible

Unbelievable Unbelievable My brother lives in this great program First of all, if you do that type of work You deserve more money You're like a hero to have that patience And I just, I have the utmost respect for those people Who take care of people like that.

Like you. It was the funnest job. One of the funnest jobs I've ever had. Because when I went home I used to watch TV with Barry in his room. We'd just watch TV and we'd just laugh. He would crack me up because he'd just laugh at silly shit on TV that I didn't even think was funny. That's my point. Their lives are so incredible.

My brother had a friend who had a string and he just fucking loved this string. Like the string came out and the string made him so fucking happy. And I was like, I will never achieve that level of happiness. And his level of happiness is a constant. It's not like your fart that made me very happy and then I'm an adult and I fall back into the depression. I'm like, oh my God, is Nancy Pelosi going to go to Taiwan?

Is World War III going to happen? Am I going to get Omicron? Are the French going to kick me out for not speaking French? Am I going to bomb tonight? Is my wife going to yell at me? Is my kid okay? His world is a string. A string. He takes the string out and he just goes, this is my string. And he used to say, this is my string. And he would crack up. And the level of joy, and I'm just telling a true story. I never forgot that level of joy, and I'll go, I will never experience that level of joy.

Think about that life. These guys wake up, my brother and his friends. Imagine your life was waking up, going to a great job, right? That's like kind of low. My brother works at a paper place. Yeah, these guys worked at like Burger King. Yeah. Kinda.

Yeah, and it's like they love their fucking job. Like I'm saying they- They love it. Normal people would be like, I'm fucking working at Burger King. My brother puts the shirt on before he wakes up so he can shoot out of bed to go to the paper store. Gary used to have the king hat. Like he didn't wear the employee hat. He had the king hat that you get when you get a burger, right?

Yeah. He would wake up an hour before and just be sitting there waiting for the bus to pick him up. Ready every day. Fucking pumped. My brother's so pumped to go to work. Yeah. He brags about work. And one of his jobs before this was cleaning toilets.

Yeah. And he fucking loved it, dude. Yeah. He loved it. And I'd be sitting there going, oh, I got to go to, I got to go to Michigan and fucking, I got to tell jokes for an hour. I'm miserable. And then I'd hear him going like, I had a great day.

I cleaned six toilets. And I was like, man, these dudes have a better perspective than anyone. I don't care what kind of yoga guru you get in front of. You will not gain the perspective you will that you will have from having a special needs brother. His life is he goes to his work that he loves and then check this out. Imagine you see all your friends every day. A van pulls up. You open the door.

All your favorite people are in it every single day. Yeah. And they take you to fucking the dopest activity. You don't go to the DMV to get a new license. You're not going to get a passport. You're going bowling. Oh, bowling was almost too much. Like, when we would take them out and do things,

it was too much excitement. Yeah. Yeah, dude, me and Barry used to sit. He had a chair like this. I'd sit on the edge of his bed, and he used to go, because Down syndrome guys have long tongues. And I would put my hand under his chin, and he would guys have long tongues. And I would put my hand under his chin, and he would try

to get it. Dude, we'd do it for hours. We had the funnest, and every once in a while, every once in a while, I would wrap around my finger. I'd be like, ha, ha, ha.

I mean, it's one of the best memories of my life did he ever get it he got it it would almost he get it and it would wrap around it almost and i'd pull my finger away and he would laugh we both laughed so much man yeah when they would get their clothing vouchers i remember the first month i worked there they would get clothing vouchers and i came back first month I worked there, they would get clothing vouchers. And I came back to the house, and they were all walking around naked with bikini underwear on,

because I had bikini underwear, so they mimicked, they wanted to look like me. But it was all these 55-year-old, mentally handicapped guys, like chubby, you couldn't really even see the underwear. You could just see like a little dot of fluorescent green. It's fucking great, man. Yeah. They fight too.

I mean, you don't know. Oh, dude, no. They're like, they have normal drama. Yeah. Like, I talk to the, they call them educators where my brother is. And like, my brother's like known as like the heartbreaker. He likes women. He's gone through everyone up there. Yeah. Like, he may, like, he's gone through them all. He cheated on one with another one. She left him. She kicked gone through everyone up there. He's gone through them all.

He cheated on one with another one. She left him. She kicked him out of the house. I'm like, they do everything that we do because they are us. They're us. They have fun, dude. They have a fucking great life. It's funny, though.

My brother, he's a little chubby, right? So he got to the point where he's not advanced enough to be able to work out or exercise. So he's just kind of gotten a little big. And he can't do squats or anything so his ass has gotten really flat to the point where he needs suspenders, which is like the special needs

kind of stereotype. That and iron workers. Yeah. But that's what happened. I had to take him to Target to buy suspenders. And that was like a... I fucking love suspenders. That was the moment where he's now got like the Lenny suspenders from, you know, of Mice

and Men kind of thing. I just want you to know that's how that happens. Okay? Because your ass is a muscle. And if you don't like know how to work it, eventually your ass, you know, becomes part of your back. And you just got to get suspenders. So my brother's now in his middle age Suspenders, special needs phase

So if anyone was wondering That's the evolution of that It is a true thing It's 100% true and I never realized that until now Because 4 out of the 6 guys had suspenders That's what it is That's so fucking weird You can't say to a special needs guy

Hey man, why don't you go to the gym and do some squats They go there and they pull the string out They don't start working out They don't know how to use the machines You'll put them on a machine and they'll just sit there And then you'll go can you do a leg curl And they don't know what's going on I've had so many good stories of working with that man

Tell another one When you jerked off when he was in the room No no no, no, no. I remember there was three downstairs and three upstairs with me. And me upstairs. And the guy down, I used to get yelled at

every day because the lights would be on downstairs and the front porch light would be on. And my job was at night to come in at 11, make sure everybody's in bed everybody's good and all the lights are off right and every night the fucking lights would get turned on I'd be like I turned them off

and I would get kind of yelled at from this boss this lady and I was like I don't know how this is happening so one night I went downstairs and little Billy little rock and roll dude he had rings on every finger black hair and he played the guitar I mean not songs but and little Billy, little rock and roll dude. He had rings on every finger, black hair. And he played the guitar.

I mean, not songs, but just... It was awesome. I would go and jam with him sometimes and try to sing. And I went downstairs and I went, good night. And then I hid in the bathroom. And I heard that his door opened and he looks out and I see him turn all that his door opened and he looks out and I see him turn all the fucking lights back on so I was like it's him I caught this little motherfucker

so I went and I turned all the lights back on and I knock on his door and he comes up hello and he looks around he's fucking scared. Then he turns all the lights back on. I did this like three times. The last time he comes out, he goes, Ball? He's fucking petrified. Because he doesn't know what's happening. He doesn't know what's happening. He comes into the bathroom.

Now I shut that light out. He comes into the bathroom to turn that one on. I went, I thought I scared him back into being regular. Because he was like, what the fuck? That would be funny if you figured it out like the movie Awakenings. You just need to scare them, and then they know how to do science. Dude, he was mad at me for a month He wouldn't talk to me for a month

But those fucking lights never went back on I tell you that It's good to know that You employed progressive methods To deal with your Special needs Group that you were in charge of That you scared them into submission

There was one guy named Pete He was kind of the grumpy dude He was one of the oldest ones His room was right across from mine And she said to me when I first worked That he doesn't get up He misses the bus a lot It's a problem, it's frustrating

But just have patience So I went in there the first day And he was telling me to go fuck myself He was like, fuck you. Fuck off. I'm like, Pete Maughan, hey, fuck off. Get the fuck out of here. It's a regular guy

trying, I don't want to go to work. Go fuck yourself. I said, okay, you're not going to beat me at this. I sat at the edge of his bed every morning and went, Pete, get up, Pete, get up, Pete, get up and went, Pete, get up, Pete, get up, Pete, get up, Pete, Pete, get up, Pete, get up, Pete, get up, Pete, get up, Pete, get up, Pete, get up,

Pete, Pete, let's go, get up, get up, get up, Pete, Pete, Pete, get up, get up, get up, Pete, Pete, and he would be like, fuck you, stop, Pete, get up, get up, and I had no emotion, I just said, Pete, get up, over and over until he got up. And I'd come back and he'd be sleeping like this. And I'd sit next to him, Pete, get up, let's go, Pete and over until he got up. And I'd come back and he'd be sleeping like this. And I'd sit next to him and peak it up. Let's go, peak it.

And he'd wake up. Dude, within two weeks, peak it up every time on time and off to work and never was late again. Wow. That's how you do it, guys. If you're working with the special needs population, you scare them or you just fucking harass them to death. If I ever told them how I did that, I would have been fired. I think this is in the Montessori School of Education.

But it worked, and me and Pete were like best buds after that. Would you ever write a book on Bobby Kelly's way to deal with the special community? I know my techniques are wrong, but I think I was 19 or 20. I think it worked. I just think you traumatized a few of them. Every time the other guy hears a loud noise,

he goes, ah! He doesn't turn the lights on for the rest of his life. Yeah. One of the guys took a knife on me one day. All right, that happens. He was fighting with another guy, Leo. Because Leo would go, hi, Bob. Hi, Bob. What's up, Bob? How are you, Bob? Bob, nice to see you, Bob. Bob, that happens. He was fighting with another guy, and it was Leo, because Leo would go, hi Bob, hi Bob. What's up Bob? How are you Bob? Bob, nice to see you Bob.

Bob, how are you Bob? And it was a little annoying. And the other guy, he was a big guy, bigger than me, like really strong guy. And he fucking flipped out on Leo one day. He was like, shut the fuck up! And he took a knife out. And I came down, I'm like, Ed,

stop! And he took the knife towards me. He's like, I'll fucking kill you. Did you do this to calm him down? That's how you do it. You know what I did? I took a knife out. And stabbed him. And I went, I'll fucking kill you too. Because I was just out of rehab

like two years ago. He didn't know that I should be in here with him. Again. Again, I want to know what institution this was and why that wasn't a question on the resume. Are you currently in Juvie? I just got out of Juvie a few years before this. I was like, I'll fucking kill you. He was like, I'm sorry. I'm like, I'm sorry too. We both became friends. So after every incident, I had this friendship with

them it was it was sad to leave them i actually did a show in front of them i don't know if i don't know if bill will remember but me patrice and bill did a comedy show for them it's amazing at one night and i remember i didn't i had a little lavalier microphone that's all they had i just remember patrice sitting up and they loved Patrice. They were laughing, but not even at punch lines. Just Patrice. They would just laugh. Holding a tiny microphone? Holding this tiny microphone.

Doing his jokes. If you don't know Patrice, Patrice O'Neal, the late, great Patrice O'Neal was like 6'4", maybe 400 pounds. He was a big dude. Yeah. Can you imagine holding a tiny little... Yeah. Yeah, having a special needs brother or working with special needs people gives you an appreciation for them,

appreciation for the people who work for them, gives you perspective, gives you empathy. Oh, God, yeah. It's a great thing. I remember when I was a little kid, because my brother's much older than me. He's 10 years older than me,

but it was a weird position to be in because I was like a kid, but I was kind of responsible for him, which was interesting. Me and him went to get ice cream. So he's technically watching me because he's like 17, but I'm like watching him. It was kind of like we both had each other's

backs in a strange way. We went to get ice cream. I'll never forget this. It's a true story. So we walked all the way to Haagen-Dazs. I really wanted ice cream because I was a kid when you really love ice cream. We went there. There was a long line. He was wearing white Bruce Jenner shorts.

Back then, the shorts were a little, you know. Tight. Yeah. Michael Jordan hadn't changed the game yet. So they were still kind of huggies. And he was wearing these white Bruce Jenner type running shorts. And he's shitting them. And we're online.

And I start to notice this smell and I'm going, wow, this ice cream place really smells like shit. And then everyone on the line starts realizing that this ice cream place smells like shit. And then I notice that his white shorts aren't white anymore. And everyone else

is going like, you know, it's dripping down his leg. Can I get vanilla? But I think this helped me build my courage to do comedy because I was really embarrassed. I was embarrassed for him. It was a bad situation. It was a small ice cream place. But much like Clark Griswold, who went to Wally World, I was like, we came all this fucking way.

Right. Okay. I'm getting that cookies and cream. Unless you want to push to the front of the line, we came all this fucking way. I'm getting that cookies and cream. Unless you want to push to the front of the line, we're standing on this line. You guys are going to deal with this smell. We're getting this fucking ice cream. And we did it. And I stood in the

pocket. I dealt with everyone coughing. A few people threw up. And I got a cup of cookies and cream. And we walked out, both me and him, Happy as two campers With two cups of ice cream While shit was running down his leg And that's what it's like

To have a special needs brother You are forced into situations Where you gotta stay in the pocket And you gotta be like, that's my brother You're not gonna make fun of my brother We came to get ice cream Yeah, he shit his pants I remember Max was at this place You're like, that's my brother. You're not going to make fun of my brother. We came to get ice cream. Yeah, he shit his pants. He shit his pants.

Yeah. Okay? Yeah, I remember Max was at this place in Lake George where they give you these ice cream cones that are like this tall. And it's famous. Everybody's there and it's packed. And Max is sitting there with this cone.

And I just saw his shit roll down his shorts and hit the ground. Like in front of everybody And my wife is so brilliant She just She took her Dunkin Donuts coffee cup And scooped the shit up in it And was like we have to leave

Just threw the Dunkin Donuts out Yeah cause when you care about someone Shit ain't I mean shit ain't shit Shit ain't shit And when you care about someone You'll deal Yes

With the rest of the world And you'll say like this is Like my, who's an amazing, amazing mom. You know, my daughter will do the same thing. Shit, she'll pick it up with her hand. She'll fucking throw it out. Yeah. She doesn't care what anyone thinks because that's her world. That's who she cares about.

That's who she's protecting. And that's how I felt about my brother. Yeah. I was like, fuck everybody. We came to get ice cream. We're leaving with ice cream. When I used to go, I used to go to lunch with them, you know, like Barry or Mike. We'd go to lunch, and it was like the people would look at you.

Like, because I'm young, good-looking, 20-year-old. We'd pull up on a motorcycle, and we'd go get, like, fried clams or something and hang out. And we'd just sit there and shoot the shit. And people would, like, what the fuck's going on? Yeah. You know what I mean? But I loved it. I really, those are three of the best years of my life working with those guys yeah and i feel like you can uh tell a lot about the health of your society by how they treat special needs

people old people sick people the vulnerable vulnerable populations i feel like you know i'm very much a socialist when it comes to those things. I think everyone should pony up and give a little bit of their tax dollars to take care of old people and special needs people and vulnerable populations. Did you hear that guys? We're for you. Yeah, I believe that. We're for half this crowd. Yeah, I just believe it's a compassionate thing to do and it makes us fully human and uh i think everyone wants to believe like i don't want to give my tactos until you have a you know a relative who's sick

old or special needs so it's all it's hypocrisy you know so just you know just know you're a hypocrite yeah well not me yeah you well i worked with, I did my part I'm just joking, I'm not saying you I did my three years What's it like now being a father? You're a father It's the best thing in the world Yeah You know, people, I really don't understand dads who like fucking shoot down being a dad or having kids

Having kids is the best thing I've ever done in my life Having Max, it's the hardest thing ever because nothing's about you anymore. You know, when I was doing comedy before, it was all about me. Now, you know, I remember I did a show. I mean, Jesus Christ, it was this amazing show. I kicked ass.

I fucking murdered. And then an hour later, I was in it was this amazing show. I kicked ass. I fucking murdered. And then an hour later, I was in bed hanging off the side. They were taking over half. They don't care about how I did. How was the show? They don't give a shit. You know what I mean? Max wants to watch Good Doctor and fucking talk about, you know,

going kayaking and stuff. So it really brings you immediately back down to what's important in life, not this horse shit. It's just that family. And it shrunk my world. I used to want my world to be huge, everybody to fucking, I wanted connections. I give a fuck about a very few people now.

But it's those two, one before anything did you name your son after watching braveheart no that's not braveheart that's fucking glad gladiator that's what i mean get your references right this is your crowd not mine well except for him yeah i don't yeah yeah i don't yeah to be honest with you There's two reasons why I named him Maximus And one, me and Patrice Years ago were talking about What to name our sons When we have them You know, if we had a girl

And Maximus We wanted that fucking name And the reason why Because Bob sucks, my name stinks Why? Bob's a great name No No, it's not. It blows. It's like, what do you want me to call you? Bob? Rob? I go through that every time I meet Robert. Is it Robert or Bob?

I don't fucking know. And if I say Robert, they're like, why? Because I'm not as close to you? I hate my name. Right. But Maximus is a great name. Yeah. But you call him Max until he fucks up. So it's Max stop that maximus knock it off it has that maximus right at the end it fucking makes you feel but if you give him the

name of a roman emperor when you say maximus it's almost like he's going to turn around and be like send my father to the gladiator dome well my grandmother was an Irish Catholic, brutal, holy shit, back in the day Irish Catholic. So when I said Max, she goes, that's a Jewish name. I was like, oh shit. So I had to, Maximus is a Saint Maximus. So I had to get her the whole thing

so she could read it. She goes, alright, I'll call him Maximus. Did you grow up in a Catholic church? I did. Is Max grown up Catholic? No. And why is that? It's too much of a pain in the ass to wake up on Sunday. I mean... Yeah. No, he knows about God.

I pray. Right. Does he also know about some of the other stuff that happened there? With me? No, with the church. No, why do you know that? I don't know if you sat him down and said, hey, listen, stay away from the guys with the collars.

It's good advice. In 2022, that's good advice. If you say your kid... I'm pretty sure that the priest has settled down. I mean, it's kind of obvious. They used to sneak around before. Now everybody's on their toes. You know what I mean?

If you get your dick sucked by a priest, you wanted it. around before. Now everybody's on their toes. Nobody's gonna... If you get your dick sucked by a priest, you wanted it. You know what I mean? There's no more sneaking around like, let me see. Pull your pants down, Joey. I want to see if God's in there.

The latest investigative report out of France, they came up with 300,000 kids that had been abused by the Catholic Church. Yeah, but you've got to take a bunch of them. They're like, yeah, I'm in it. I want some of this. Maybe 10%. Maybe, yeah. You know, I almost got

fucking... I got sober and I did my... I went to a priest to do my fourth step and he... At the end he kissed me Soft kissed me on the neck Yeah And I was like

I was like he wants to fuck Yeah I mean the molestation In the Catholic church is It's kind of like COVID It's so widespread everyone knows Someone who at least knows someone who had it So I feel like In Boston it's like Six degrees of Kevin Bacon It's so widespread, everyone knows someone who at least knows someone who had it. So I feel like in Boston, it's like six degrees of Kevin Bacon.

There's a lot of fucking... Six degrees of Father O'Hanlon. There's a lot of fucking... Yeah, there's a lot of stories I know. But no, I pray. Max has seen me pray. I call it meditating to him. Yeah. And sometimes he'll get down and chill out with me.

Right. But whatever he wants to do as far as religion or spirituality, he can figure that out later in life. He's nine now. He's not really going to understand it now. You know what I mean? But if he wanted to go to church, I'd take him. I'm doing the same thing with my daughter.

I'm saying you can be whatever you want, right, because she was baptized in the Greek Orthodox Church and all that. But I want to go, you can choose what you want, but you got to choose one. I think that's fun. If I go, hey, look, you got to choose one. Because I just want to see if she chooses Amish or one of the offbeat ones.

And then I just have an Amish daughter and I got to go visit her on Rumsprinka. She chooses, she wants to be a Muslim, you got to get her a rug. I got to get a rug. I'm just like, that's my Muslim daughter. You know what I mean? We're not Muslim, but she is. Yeah.

But it would be great if she's like Amish. She's on Rumsprinka and like she's getting gang banged. And I'm like, look, that's just what they do for a year. And then she comes back to the religion and she gets it all out of her system. She's Amish. I can't criticize it. Oh, dude, the fucking the apple butter you'd get. That'd be so cool.

Yeah. I mean, how great is that religion, Amish? Like, look at the amenities, dog. Like, if I could choose now, like, that's great. She's going to, there should be like a religion expo where she gets to choose. She goes to the booths and like, what do you got to offer me? And the Amish are like, look, dude, for a year or two, you get to leave the Amish community, do drugs, fucking gangbang, and then you come back and you get it out of your system. I'm like, that's pretty good. You know, I'll do that for two Gang bang And then you come back

And you get it out of your system Like that's pretty good You know I'll do that for two years Then I'll come back And churn butter Or if you're Muslim You get to go like Dude we don't got a lot

To offer you now No bacon and shit But when you die You get your pick Of the litter Of who you want to fuck That's pretty good too Yeah

Scientology You'll get a fucking Career in acting Yeah you get to be friends With Tom Cruise Yeah It's pretty good You gotta be locked in a room For fucking ten years Till you die I think it would be fun To have a Scientology, you'll get a fucking career in acting. Yeah, you get to be friends with Tom Cruise. It's pretty good. You gotta be locked in a room for fucking ten years till you die.

I think it would be fun to have a Scientology daughter and be like, my daughter's just in Aliens in her head. Yeah. She's gotta leave dinner right now. She's gotta go watch John Travolta talk to her about thetans. Yeah, just come home. She's holding two soup cans. It's great, because like, what's religion's role now in the world?

Do we need it back? I don't know but I know that I know that religion has been replaced with politics So people are Politics now Whatever they believe in That's their Jesus Christ Or their Catholic

They believe in politics Like people used to believe in religion And if you don't believe that they're God, then you're a fucking piece of shit. That's what's replayed. I feel like it's just switched over to that. Very little nuance. Very no nuance.

Jesus Christ is the Lord Savior. And that's fucking it, or you're a heathen. And that's the way people think about politics. They demonize each other. We just lost two more people. Listen, people, we're going for jokes. I apologize. I mean, God bless your politics.

Look, I love liberals. It's okay. Censor who you want. It doesn't matter. We got kids. We don't care about anything anymore, which is true. You only care about the kid. Now, how did you say that word, politics?

Politics. Politics. That's how you catch someone who's pretending not to be from New England. You catch them when they go politics. They put a W in there. It's the same way you catch a Canadian from Ontario when they say sorry. And you're like, I got

you, you fucking spy. Let me see your papers. Fucking sorry. Yeah, sorry. Once you, everything sounds normal in America until fucking they step on your shoe and they go, sorry, and you go, get the fuck out of my country. That's how it is. Bobby Kelly, I love you to death.

You're one of the kindest, sweetest guys in the business. You're one of the funniest comedians in the planet. You're in the planet. You're not on it. Okay, I'm in it. You're in it, dog. I'll take it. I'm in it. You're fucking in it. I'm in it You're in it dog I'll take it You're fucking in it

And likewise too I feel the same way Your podcast Your podcast Which you'll be on tomorrow Yeah now I'm What do they call that Code switching

I'm code switching For a New Englander Your fucking podcast Is uh You know what dude It's fucking great You guys gotta Fucking check it out

At the end Him and Ben Affleck And Matt Damon Fucking get out of there Tomorrow at 3 o'clock we'll be right here With you We'll be talking about the same shit We'll be doing it again

So you old people, take a nap and get back here We're going to need you You guys, you too, we want you back, Nana Papa Pack a lunch, get an orange Suck on it So you know what dude Also you're in a movie right now

That Louis C.K. directed Called July 4th With the great and hilarious Also great dude Joe List Stars in it, you have a very funny role in that Louis C.K. directed it Do you think Louis C.K. directed it Do you think Louis C.K.'s punishment was a little too harsh? A hundred percent

Really? A hundred percent We got fucking two minutes You brought that up now? We got two minutes I want to end on a bang What the fuck? I just ask you this

You got to tune into Bobby's podcast to find out his answer It's a two-parter It's cross-promotion and it's based on Louis' dick Yes It's a two-parter. It's cross-promotion, and it's based on Louie's dick. Yes. So tune in to the episode of You Knew It, Dude, which is released in this episode. Bobby Kelly from Just For The Culture Show. It's meaningless now.

I shouldn't have come here. I've been here for four fucking weeks doing a Just For The Culture Show because they want to prove that they're diverse, and it has nothing to do with being funny. I've been here for four fucking weeks doing a Just for the Culture show because they want to prove that they're diverse. It has nothing to do with being funny. I hate this fucking town. I didn't have poutine. I want to go back to the States. I don't care if they change French to the fucking official language. Do what you

want. Nobody gives a shit about this icicle you call a city that freezes over for ten months out of the fucking year. Fuck the French. You're lucky we intervened in World War II or you'd all be speaking German. You arrogant fucking people. I love you.

Bye-bye. Thank you. It's been a long day.