Yannis Pappas Hour - Adam McKay vs. Will Ferrell

Episode Date: January 1, 2022

Happy New Years! Yanni reviews the movie Don’t Look Up and looks forward to the new era in movie making where Hollywood or what’s left of it and Ben Shapiro start pumping out less than subtle political propaganda films, the war between former partners and friends Adam McKay and Will Ferrell jeez I wonder whose side Yanni is on, Some more disturbing deepfakes, karate women in movies, a rigorous dissection of Marjorie Taylor Greene’s national divorce tweet and an extra LongDay on DoorDash’s new policy to make everyone in their company deliver food. Finally, a long day on comedy bookers, opportunity in the US and more.SponsorBabelhttps://www.babbel.comPromo:LongDaysLongDays is a weekly satire news podcast by comedian Yannis Pappas. Get your commentary on news & trending topics with Yanni every Sat and a guest chat with interesting, brilliant and hilarious humans every Thursday. WasdadealisYanni stand up tour dates & tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comJoin for weekly Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysThe show goes out every Saturday night & Thursdays to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram on Wednesdays.Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up everybody? This is your New Year's Day episode. Yes, we have not changed the schedule for anything. We've released an episode on Christmas Day and now New Year's Day because we like to do things that go against Marketing 101s. Everyone's at home either with COVID or hungover or you're dead or you're watching this and you're just not a lot of people. There's not a lot of people on the internet on New Year's Day, but we stick to the schedule because we live in America and we roll free, brother.

So, Long Days is going to come at you every Saturday as it's been coming at you every Saturday, previously Friday, and then before that, maybe Wednesday, and then we're just tinkering around. We're tinkering, tinkering, tinkering until we figure it out. I know right now I look like Justin Bieber if he was never discovered, okay? I was just in Canada doing those N-word videos. I get it.

I know my hair looks like this guy's dog after eight hours of him sleeping. We're going to give a little shout out to the comment roulette section who, what are we, 10 months old now? We're celebrating the new year, going into 2022. Got a nice foundation set. Everything's in place. So I want to give a shout out to the comment roulette crowd who's been around all 10 months, dropping heat. Jared Harvin, the king of comment roulette. Everybody else who always leaves their best comments to before the episode starts and they're it's always about me so let's read some now because this is where unexpectedly they always

put their good comments in here we go first one yanni's got some timberlands on and he's dead ass uh here just have to say marisa was always right about J-Lo. Yeah, well, I don't even remember what I said about her. You look like Justin Bigger. LOL. Yanni looks like handsome Squid Wars. I don't get that. Yanni has an N-word pass.

We all know why. I don't get that one either. Thanks. That's more notice than my father has ever given me. We've been here adding ourselves to Zuckerberg's hit list. Yes, you have. Yes, you have. Yanni, I drank too much eggnog and now my throat's pregnant, bubba's.

Callback. The callback to last episode um so comment roulotte shout out to you it's been a great year um i want to thank you all someone just said yanni's real dad is black yanni looks like a bronx rain man yanni has that greek reservoir tip Yanni condom head Yanni looks like Nick mile a dream girl Yanni looks like somebody who'd wolf whistle the cash Yanni looks like someone who'd wolf whistle the cash me outside girl when she's when she was still underage Always looking good

Yanni big dicks Yanni looks like a good Christian looking good. Yanni Big Dicks. Yanni looks like a good Christian. This is long days. Yanni looks like the older dude who still tries to play basketball with inner city youth. Yanni looks like a Greek

farmer. Yanni is the 21st century Helen Keller. Can't read or speak. Yanni looks like Colin Farrell post a skiing accident. This is Long Days. I was the

fuck. And the news online going on and on. What's right and wrong? And there's something up. Now here comes a great kid you know you can trust. From the truth to the news and cameras. To the fake politics and the propaganda. Get his kids screwed in. Got a lot to say. Aw, shit. It's about to be a long day.

It's a long day. It's a long day. Guys, thank you so much. Let me tell you about my dates before we start the show. House of Comedy in Plano, Texas. January 6th through the 8th, this coming week. Get your tickets. Plano, Texas, January 6th through the 8th. Go to yannispapascomedy.com for your tickets. My website for all these tickets.

Then January 20th through the 22nd, I'll be in San Diego at the American Comedy Company. Get your tickets. 22nd. I'll be in San Diego at the American Comedy Company. Get your tickets. Sidesplitters in Tampa, February 10th. Then Canada in Edmonton from the 17th to the 19th of February. And then New Westminster from the 24th to the 26th of February. Get your tickets if I'm allowed in the country. So far, it's still on. Then March 3rd to the 5th, Bloomington, Minnesota at the House of Comedy, March 3rd through the 5th. Then San Antonio, Texas, March 24th through the 26th. Then Phoenix, Arizona, April 14th through the 16th. All tickets can be got at yannispappascomedy.com. The bonus episodes now are being moved to Thursday and Patreon is going to be lit in 2022.

I'm really going to focus on it and make it more quality and better. So patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Go sign up. Most importantly, tell at least one friend that you think might enjoy this show about the show. If every single person who listens to this show told just one person, our numbers would double just like that. So that's all you got to do. Post clips in your story. Repost, spread it to your friends and fans and family on social media and call them, text them. Just get one person to listen to Long Days who you think might enjoy it and we double our numbers. Now, happy fucking new year. Let's start the show.

It's New Year's Day I hope you guys all had a great New Year's Eve I imagine the people who are watching this episode Are Omicron quarantining Or just waking up and watching this in the evening I hope you had a great night last night You know No worry

Hope you had unprotected sex No need to worry about HIV anymore. No need to worry about bed bugs. I think HIV is just cured at this point, right? It's just cured. I mean, you could walk off HIV. I think you can go to CVS and just get some HIV cream and just rub it on your penis hole, and it's over. I mean, HIV is over. I think actually

there's some recent news where they have like completely cured it. There's like some new thing that is about to pop the gay community wide open. We are talking about, you're going to, every gay event now that HIV has officially been cured, if you could find that. They just recently cured it. It's going to combine sex into whatever it is. So that's how wide open. The gay male community is the funnest. Like if you're born heterosexual, joke is on you. It means you're going to be getting lists from your wife. You're going to be getting very few blowies.

And you're going to be picking up a lot of things on errands, and be asked a lot of questions, and be asked constantly to drop off packages that she's returning from her online purchases from Poshmark. Poshmark. Come on, man. All women are selling their boyfriend's old clothes on Poshmark and Poshmark. Come on, man. All women are selling their boyfriends old clothes on Poshmark and constantly returning them.

So if you're heterosexual, your life just becomes that of a UPS worker just transporting packages for your wife. But gay guys stay single forever, okay? And another thing they do is party. They party hard. So now that AIDS is cured, I mean, gay guys are going to just be having sex in the city, gay orgy parties. They're going to have Eastside Cheesecake eating, tasting, and gay sex parties. They're going to combine gay sex in all their activities. They're going to say, let's have a book club sex orgy meeting.

Let's go to a listening party sex orgy meeting. We're going to have a pizza party sex orgy meeting. They're just going to combine like they won't wait till afterwards. Gay guys get to it immediately. Can you just imagine how fun being gay would be? You just show up at a door. Guy just answers with a hat on, butt naked, no words exchanged. You drop to your knees and you start fucking your sword fight. It happens quick. So the thing you got to worry about now is the old COVID, the old Omicron variant, which it's spreading faster than the Bing Bong video on TikTok, which is kind of the COVID of TikTok. Bing Bong, Joe Byron.

That's how fast Omicron is spreading. It is viral, literally. I don't know many people who don't have it, except for old Yanni, because yanni's had covid and yanni's vaxxed waxed and ready to tax that ass you never saw the coney island bing bong video no play it so you could hear it is this it yeah jesse scaturo still reads hard copy books do you still go to the library? Do you have a library card? I use the app. The library app?

Yep. Yeah. And do you still listen to radio? No, no radio. When World War III happens, you're going to find out from AM radio. This Big Bomb thing has gone crazy. But, you know, everyone knows it who's watching. So, look, it's like the— No, we keep it real. Fuck your life.

Bing bong. He had too many shots. You want a shot? Hey, yo, Ariana Grande. What's up, mama? I come to Coney Island to take a spin on a cyclone. I miss you. Let's flip, boy.

Yeah. Put the yellow foams on. I do want to tell Joe Byron right now. What's up, baby? Take me out to— Hey. Just a bunch of derelicts in Coney Island during the day. That's when you want to be in Coney Island, during the day.

You do not want to be in Coney Island at night because whoever was holding that camera would be the owner of the Bing Bong video, would no longer be the owner of the Bing Bong video, and it would be somebody else who owned it, who stole it. That gave me flashbacks. Yeah, Yanni looks like the host of a gay Greek key party. I don't know what a key party is, but they have fun type of things like that.

Yanni's eyes are looking closer together this time around. What is a key party? It's where you put your keys in a fishbowl, and then you take them out, and then you go home with whoever's keys. Whoever's keys it is? Yeah. I mean, they have all the fun, dog. I mean, they have all the fun.

That's why, like, if you're straight, you got to be very pro-science for transition. Because I think we just need a whole, we need like, guys need like trans women to like look like women so then you can have fun key parties like that without having to worry about like, you know, having a baby or whatever. It's just a clear,

you know, it's like, listen, I'm fooled, okay? Whatever it is, let's just bing bong and, you know, because, you know, it's like, listen, I'm fooled, okay? Whatever it is, let's just bing bong. And, you know, because, you know, that's the type of party.

The gay guys have fun, dude. They have fun. Their clubs are just like people just start having sex. There's not just a, you go to like a straight party, it's just like a bunch of straight dudes on the wall because being straight makes it so you can't dance. So you're just standing on the wall drinking your thing, right? And unless you're like, you know,

Justin Timberlake, no girls are looking at you. You're just, you know, trying to meet a girl or whatever. And then when you dance, you dance awful. They just grind on your chest. And then you go to gay clubs and they're all just like,

they're all kind of getting on each other. They're all like just letting it all hang out. No inhibitions, no need to think about violence that could happen with other men. Cause if violence happens, it happens like this. It's all windmill punches that don't really hit anyone. You ever see like two gay guys fight, they just windmill and both of them lean back. So nobody gets hit. So you don't have to like, you know, you don't have to train face it at all at the party. Whereas when you're a straight guy, you constantly got to be worrying about how I got to act straight. I got to act straight.

I constantly got to act straight. There's other dudes here. In case some dudes want some smoke, I got to look like I can handle some smoke. Whereas gay guys have no concern. If a fight breaks out, they just go, this is tacky. This is so fucking tacky. This is fucking tacky

behavior. Get this fucking tacky behavior outside of Hell's Kitchen where it belongs. Take this hacky shit to Brooklyn. Fucking tacky. They just have more fun. So I get it, dude. Fucking talky. They just have more fun. So I get it, dude.

I get it. I get why the younger kids are trying to like, you know, be more non-binary. It's probably just more fun, you know? I mean, Jesus.

Women just cause, you know, women's just a little bit of a headache. You guys are a little bit of a headache because you know you got the goods. You're the only people on the planet who got the self-lubricating hole

the self-lubricating hole it's like magic dog can you imagine can you imagine if your hand just had a squirt of lubriderm on it when you went to jerk you know imagine not having to go to the store to get yourself a nice lubed up jerk. That's kind of what the pos-pos does. Gay clubs have cleaner bathrooms too, except under a black light. That's from Capital Suites. Very good point. And it sounds like you know from experience, my friend. Yes, Kennedy Tallarico saysico says at this point you've developed

a self-lubricating hole don't lie yanni that's it that's the ass pussy that's what i'm telling you that shit is the new iphone that's it ladies you got that all you know what i'm saying you're coming with that iphone 2.0 my shit is that iPhone 13. That ass pussy. That's that new shit. Get up on that. You can't even get to that because the supply chain is so backed up because so many men want to get to this ass pussy. You can't even reach it.

There's a long line. The line to get to Maurice's ass pussy looks like one of those urgent cares right now trying to get tested. That shit goes around the corner. That's it. That's it, my shit is like a pay-per-view fight Mayweather, that's how many men trying to get in there, I'm pulling numbers right there, if the amount of men that wanted to get to me was a pay-per-view, that shit

would break Mayweather's record, I'm trying to tell you, Maurice, I got that good shit, because here's the situation, I know what to do, I know what to do, I'm a professional, let me ask you a question, let me tell you something when the lights is dim and down and shit what you want you want somebody whose face you remember you want somebody who who you remember what's pretty you want somebody who knows how to suction cup your balls and dick that's it that's i'm telling you i'm a professional nobody knows how to work that dick like me i work that shit like police people working them whipsticks when they be beating people unjustly that's what my shit is like that's it i'm telling you andrew shaw's called back pussy the canadian bacon of bacon i don't

know what that shit means oh that's like oh it's not like the real thing it's that that's it andrew shaw's just giving away that he likes that back door That's it Don't get me wrong I'm telling you Anybody that motivated That concerned With getting that big That motherfucker not thinking about sex at all Because

He's interested in women And he's not really interested in women Come to the dark side Andrew Schultz That's it Let me get flagrant on you Alright I know you like to say Oh I like to sell that fragrant shit But put that money where that mouth is

Let's see if you could do some fragrant behavior. You know what I'm saying? You're all about them fragrant words. Talk is cheap. Talk is cheap. Let me tell you that right now. Talk is cheap. I want to see what kind of fragrant behavior you're willing to get into to show your fans that you keep it real.

That's it. All right, don't go Hollywood on me, Andrew Schultz. That's it. New York City straight to the bone. I know you're one of them Upper East Side kids, Upper West Side kids. That's it. All right. Don't go Hollywood on me, Andrew Schultz. That's it. New York City straight to the bone. I know you're one of them Upper East Side kids, Upper West Side kids. That's it. I want to come. I know your parents got that dance studio.

Take me there. Only thing is I'm going to keep my socks on and that shit when we dancing. Because you know my feet, that's not my area. But look at that cutie. That's it. You know he wants to be with Trance. That's it. You know he wants to be with trans. That's it. Andrew Shaw's constantly thinking about trans.

Look at him. That's it. He not interested in that pussy. That motherfucker too motivated. He taking over the world. That's it. He might have one boy. Who knows?

That's it. I want to see his artwork. I don't trust him. Does he have bad artwork? Did he get rejected? That's what I'm trying to tell you. I mean, that motherfucker is more ambitious than hillary clinton that's it i'll run for that ticket because let me tell you something those two right there that's a killer combination andrew schultz and hillary clinton that's it i'll vote for that ticket i'm telling you

prestige worldwide says i give it 10 years until schultz and Akash come out as a gay couple. Look at the outfit he had on right there. That's it. He looked like he's standing at the door of a gay nightclub in the Meatpacking District right there where he was in Miami. That's right. Schultz is the best. Just got married.

Kid's married. Congratulations to Andrew Schultz for being married. He finally joined the club. Welcome. Yeah, it's just, you know, it's a retirement party. You get married, it's a retirement party.

You just retired and you get text lists right now i have to pick up my wife started baking so that's good so now i'm gonna die of diabetes you know because uh this latest nih study says that covid lingers in your body for months or or even longer they don't know in the organs of your body after it's done even in mild cases so what's gonna happen is mine the fucking virus is probably gonna be in my pancreas what is it's done even in mild cases. So what's going to happen is mine, the fucking virus is probably going to be in my pancreas. What is it?

Pancreas. And then I'm going to start eating my wife's baking and I'm going to develop type 1 diabetes. So that's what's going to happen. I mean, my wife started watching

the British baking show and now all of a sudden she's just baking. And I said, I told you I don't want that crack in my house. And she says, I'm going to give them

to the neighbors. I go, yeah, really, that's what's going to happen. I'm going to see those on the counter. I'm going to walk by and I'm going to give them to the neighbors. I go, yeah, really? That's what's going to happen? I'm going to see those on the counter. I'm going to walk by and I'm going to have eight of them.

I'm going to have eight of them. I'm going to treat them like ciggies. There's a pack of ciggies in the house. I can't control myself. If there's a pack of chocolate chip cookies in the house, nobody can control themselves. They get eaten.

This fucking British baking show and my wife has a crush on this trans man the guy dracula in the middle she loves this guy he's supposedly some british comedian why does every british comedian look like a a glam rock star from the 80s all right when am i gonna wait for his buddha spiritual phase like other guy. Who's the other guy? Russell. Oh, yeah. Russell Crowe.

Russell Crowe. Yeah, whatever his name is. What about Eddie Izzard? I mean, they're all drag. How come everyone in England, you know, needs to put on a dress to come? I mean, it's him. It's the other guy that look like,

they all look like rock stars, dude. All the British comedians look like they're in Motley Crue in 1991. They look like the band Poison. What can you do? Gonna have to change the name of the podcast to Long Day Short of Breath with Yanis Pappas. Yanni snorting brownies.

Yanni with grandma glasses. Yeah, these glasses are a little feminine. I thought they were like cool and trendy when I got them, but they really just don't work. I have new frames coming for next year, 2022. I'm going back to the frames I used to wear that I got married in. Believe it or not, those were Red Bull frames.

They were like titanium and they were Red Bull, but they look good on the face. I need the glasses because they frame my eyes and separate them a little bit. It's all an illusion. It's like why fat girls wear black. That's what I need. I need glasses.

So yeah, COVID just hangs around in the body. Hangs around your organs, hangs out. Who knows what it's doing in there? Living rent free, freeloading, getting comfy, wumpy. Sticking around. It's sticking around to see what's going on. It hangs out. You know.

But it doesn't last forever. Like nothing. Guys, I'm so happy to have one of my favorite companies back sponsoring Long Day's Babble. I need you guys to learn another language. I want all my fans to have healthy brains you got to exercise your brain the way you do your muscles and nothing wards off Alzheimer's

then learning a second language playing chess is good too but learning a second language is great because it's also uh you know makes you sophisticated you go to a country on travel you can say a few words especially France if you want to get the good stuff you can say a few words, especially France. If you want to get the good stuff, you give them a few French words, they're happy. Whatever they want to do, do it. It's French. Okay. Go to Babbel. It's fun. I love using Babbel because they give you these 15-minute lessons. That's the best. It's not overwhelming like a lot of other language apps where you're doing like full lessons and stuff. It's 15 minutes at a time. So it's really bite-sized and that's what makes it the best language app because we're all on the go. So that just works for that. Other language apps use AI and Babbel does not, which is what I love. Babbel uses language experts, actual people. It's people teaching people using technology.

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So it's like, stop with this stuff. Just work out during the day and exercise your mind and you'll get tired. Read a little bit, learn another language, use your brain. Nothing better than learning a second language. Go to babbel.com right now. Use the promo code long days. That's babbel.com promo code long daysdays and you will get three whole months free of Babbel so go and learn another language

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promo code longdays Greta Thunberg is she's 18 now man she's legal so can you check right now and see if there's a greta thomberg deep fake i'm sure there is let's just take a peek let's just take a peek if there's a greta Thunberg deep fake. There's got to be a Greta Thunberg. Nothing? Nothing. Are you going to videos? Go to videos.

There's got to be a deep fake. Wow. Let me type in porn. Yeah, porn deep fake. They have her as Hitler. Yeah, well, I know that. At some point, everyone point everyone gets it uh there's a there we go my deep fakes let's go right there third one she's sick no third one third one down yeah oh my god just post play i mean dude i mean how do they do this

i mean look at this dog this ain't right dude this is this is crazy she's 18 now we so we're looking for it after she's 18 so she's legal by law this was posted 11 months ago yeah it's 11 months ago would only Chris Thalia had the link I can't I mean this is I mean how do they do that man so at this point anytime I bring up a woman's name who's in the media I'm just gonna say do they do that, man? So at this point, anytime I bring up a woman's name who's in the media, I'm just going to say, do they have a deep fake?

And the answer is going to be yes. This is not right. No, it's not. This is wrong. It's wrong. But I mean, God, dude, it's scary

what AI is going to be like and what the future is going to be like. You're not going to be able to believe anything. You can't believe anything, dog. That's why now everyone's struggling to know what the future is going to be like you're not gonna be able to believe anything you can't believe anything dog that's why now everyone's struggling to know like what the truth is and because like everything seems real i mean that's wild dude oh god yanni won't get eye surgery because his eyes would look closer together without glasses exactly that's why I didn't get the LASIK. So Greta Thunberg is pissed at Biden. She's pissed. She was asked, see, this is the thing. A reporter asked, like, what do you think

about Biden? He's been such a good leader on climate change. And she goes, what? She goes, leader on climate change. She basically said, let's go Brandon. Greta Thunberg basically almost said a let's go Brandon. I mean, you know it's bad for Joey Biden when Greta Thunberg goes, how dare you?

How dare you? With your lies. Your lies. How dare you. You got any volume on it? You want to listen to this? Yeah, let's see what she says. Is there an Elon Musk deepfake

someone wants to know? I'm sure there is, my friend. Here's the thing about America. If you want to get a rapid test, you got to wait on a six hour line like it's Venezuela. But if you want a deep fake of anyone, we got you.

It's like a Greek diner menu. They got it. Whatever you want, they have it. You want a deep fake of Oprah, we have it. You want a deep fake of whomever, it's there. But if you want a rapid fake of Oprah? We have it. You want a deep fake of whomever? It's there. But if you want a rapid test so you can avoid killing your grandma,

you're going to have to wait on an 18-hour line because of Biden's America. What are you looking for? Elon Musk deep fake? Yeah, I don't see one. No. I would guess that they'd be less interested in giving the guys the deepfakes, considering women aren't watching porn with guys in them. Women just like that lesbo porn.

All right, let's see what she says. It's what they're kind of saying. The developing world is a key part of this, isn't it? And particularly countries as well, like China. I mean, what's the key, do you think, to increasing... Can we just pause this for a second? It's just... The speed. It's very funny.

Like, I'm sure she's a pretty intelligent girl. But it's very funny to see, like, a BBC reporter interviewing some girl who just turned 18 about what her geopolitical positions are on China. That's ridiculous. You know, I've known some pretty smart people in my day. turned 18 about what her geopolitical positions are on China. That's ridiculous. You know, I've known some pretty smart people in my day. And, you know, when they were 18, dog, I mean, you don't know anything at 18.

What have you experienced at 18, you know? Just ask her where the millennial march is, and that's it. Say, where are you guys marching for climate change? And what's your favorite app? Plus, is she some child prodigy? Did she graduate college at 12 or something like that? Did she? No, I'm asking. Yeah, exactly.

No, she's just some Swedish girl. She's basically the Kardashian of climate activists. She's just like, the media just fell in love with her. Did she start with a sex tape we don't know about, which is inappropriate? Well, she's got one now. She's got one. Unfortunately, she's got one now.

Unfortunately, everyone's going to have a sex tape at some point. Let's think of a fun one. Is there a Nancy Reagan deep fake? Can you just take a quick peek? If there's a Nancy Reagan deepfake. You know, it's funny. It's like... Reagan Fox. I don't know who that is. No, no, no, no.

Reagan, she's out of the spotlight. Yeah. Too old. Too old. Let's think of a good one. Is there a Nancy Pelosi deepfake? Oh, yeah. That we looked up already.

Oh, we did? I think there's definitely one. Is there a Michelle Obama deepfake? Oh, sure. I mean, seriously, if Yanni's going to come on stream looking that much like Harry Houdini, then he needs to be trying to escape a straitjacket. My hair is wild today. Oh, yeah. Here you go.

Oh, God. Let's see how real. I mean, this one doesn't look that realistic. Oh, first you got to watch some porn ad for Asian porn. I mean, dog. You think Barack jokesks off to this? You think Barack is No I tell you who's jerking off to this

A lot of Republicans who hate her A lot of Republicans who say that they hate her You know They're secretly It's always You know you always find that in life Like whatever someone's railing against the most They kind of secretly That's what they're into, you know?

And they just can't because of some social pressure. That's usually what it is. Like, whenever someone's opinion is clearly formed by their social group or their family, you know, that just makes it forbidden. And anything that's forbidden is hot to trot. So Michelle Obama, Harry Reid before he passed away, definitely choked it out to one of these deep fakes.

Oh, man. There's a deep fake for everything nowadays. I got one more favor to ask. Mayor Lightfoot deep fake. I want to see Donnell Rawlings as a woman. Mayor Lightfoot of Chicago looks like Donnell Rawlings if he grew out his hair. She has the hairline of Paul Giamatti. Let's see.

No, I mean who would spend their time making that? Someone who had a sense of humor? So Mayor Lightfoot and her wife were interviewed and they came under fire because they wished people happy Kwanzaa, right? With Christmas music on.

Who cares? I mean, how can I pay attention to anything that's being said when you look at the video, it looks like an SNL sketch. It looks like Donnell's hosting SNL with Rachel Maddow and they're doing a Christmas video skit. Mayor Lightfoot's wife looks like Rachel Maddow and Rachel

Maddow looks like a guy! Yanni looks like an off-duty new NYPD with that Yankee hat. Yeah. Let's just hear what's going on. ...stand a very beautiful and prosperous Kwanzaa to all of you celebrating this season. As you light the candles and gather in unity,

we hope your holiday is filled with rejoicing and happiness. I mean, so what is this? Seven principles of quark so this is just a quads video yeah the whole thing while she has christmas decorations up behind playing caribbean music yeah playing caribbean music i mean they're just trying too hard it's like the movie don't look up it just feels forced it may don't look up have you seen it no don't look up has like this star studded cast of like former movie stars

because movies are basically over I mean it's just The Rock at this point it's The Rock and the Car series what's the Car series? Don't Crash

Part 12 what's it called? yeah that's it what's it called? nine Racing Cars Diving Gun Guy that's it

Exploding Cars Vin Diesel with Vin Diesel yeah and Ludacris. I don't remember the name of it, dog. Race car something. Yeah, race car something. I think my mind doesn't hold insignificant stuff

because I should be a role model for you. You shouldn't know the name of that movie. What's it called again? Race Car Drive? The Race Car 7? Jared Harvin 15 says, I'm pretty sure if Lightfoot and her wife had a child they're gonna come out looking like jabuki jabuki's a comedian i think that's pretty true uh so i mean

they're just trying too hard i mean you're making a kwanzaa video for how many people how many people celebrate kwanzaa this This is the problem with the Democrats. They keep making policies and videos and pandering things for like one person, for nobody. It's like the majority don't celebrate Kwanzaa, okay? How many black people do you think really celebrate Kwanzaa? I could go right now to any black neighborhood in America and ask 10 out of 10 people on the streets to tell me what the 10 principles of Kwanzaa are like Mayor Lightfoot did, I guarantee you, I guarantee you 10 out of 10 have no idea. Jared Harvin, do you know without Googling, do you know what the 10 principles of Kwanzaa are? And I know you go to Kwanzaa Cathedral. Do they have a church? What is Kwanzaa, dog?

Let's find out from Mayor Lightfoot and Rachel Maddow. Guide us to unity and cooperation as we work to uplift and protect our neighbors. As you prepare for your Kwanzaa celebrations, I urge you to keep these values in mind.

Can you have just called the one friend you have who celebrates Kwanzaa? You didn't have to make a video. This is like when you tweet and you have two followers. You're like, just call your friend. You don't have to tweet this. Okay, so there's like a list of commandments for Kwanzaa. Be good, whatever, and light your candles. So Kwanzaa is kind of a combination of Hanukkah and Christmas

because there's candles, one, two, three, four, there's six candles and they happen to be red and green. So the colors of Christmas, but the sad candles of Hanukkah. It's like, what are you lighting these candles for? We're lighting them because

it was another time where the romans hung us up they got us every jewish holiday is just about because that train is never late where the jew hate just start jew hate is like stan smith's they don't go out of style dog so any holiday you're like what's this holiday well what happened back in 1347 uh there was a famine, and of course, there was a Jewish community there. So the Assyrians, it's always like the Babylonians

or the Assyrians or the Egyptians or it's a bunch of people that don't exist anymore or the Arcaridians or the Michael Didalians or the Zodiac Atilians happened to have

a small Jewish community. That Jewish community was flourishing because we respect our mothers and they give us guilt and make us go to school. But to the outside people, nobody likes the front of the class. So what they did is they ran around

and they started hanging us up by our underwears. And that's what the Jewish New Year is. It's a celebration, a fast. We basically sit, shiver in misery, mourning the people who were lost by the people of the world who were trying to extinguish us. What's Hanukkah? For every candle is another day of misery

when the Romans were slaughtering us. And I go, Hanukkah is the Yanni long days of holidays. It's like, what are we lighting the candles for? These were miracle fires that continued to light as the Romans slaughtered us one by one. What's the celebration for? Well, this was a day where the Germans decided to put us in ovens over and over again. So we have a moment of silence all over the world to remember never again.

I'm like, Jesus Christ, dog. Do you guys got one fucking happy day. Did people leave you alone for one second? Somebody just said, Rachel Dolezal taught me what Kwanzaa is. She knows. There you go.

She knows. Look, just stop. It's like, you know what these Kwan, okay, it's like, you know what, you know what these, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, whatever else there is, whatever other Hanukkah,

you know, it's like, I don't know what the Eastern Hemis do at that time, I mean, I'm sure they put a dragon in the air, there's always a dragon on their holidays, you ever notice that, there's like a people in a dragon suit,

and the Muzzies, they must have one, right, Ramadan is around that time, here's the deal, I respect everyone's cultures, and religions,uzzies, they must have one, right? Ramadan is around that time. Here's the deal. I respect everyone's cultures and religions and holidays, but your holiday just does not compete. It's like trying to do the argument

of who's the greatest player after Michael Jordan. It's like, just say what's the second best holiday to ever exist. Because, you know, Kwanzaa's never going to cut it okay it's a forced holiday and you know when you try to force this stuff because of whatever reason in history we go like this holiday was forced on us well guess what I'm not black and it was forced on me too but it's's lit as fuck. Christmas is lit. It started in Germany. Guess what? The Germans fucking invaded my country

and killed all my relatives. But guess what? Santa Nicholas is lit. It's lit. Christmas is lit. I mean, you don't have to, you can just make it your own. I mean, this forced kind of stuff

is just not going to work. This forced, forced anything is not going to work. That's why Don't Look Up, you can read the tweets. You can almost hear how people are pressured to say that they liked it. And I like Adam McKay. He made Step Brothers. He's made great, funny movies.

Great director. But Don't Look Up was just like, it felt like a Toxic Avenger movie meets Armageddon. Remember the movie, The Toxic Avenger? It was made bad. The jokes were kind of out of touch. And it's this whole unrealistic scenario where the scientist discovers a comet that's going to hit Earth and destroy Earth. And then media personalities don't take him seriously. The president doesn't. It's just so unrealistic. But the reason why it's unrealistic is because they did this transparent metaphor for climate. Leonardo DiCaprio produced it,

and then when it came out on HBO Max or whatever it's out on, Netflix or whatever, he tweeted climate change. He did his usual robotic. The kid just tweets about climate change. He's hilarious because he tweets about climate change. He did his usual robotic. The kid just tweets about climate change. He's hilarious because he tweets about climate change and then he gets on a private jet to go make girls sign NDAs

in Miami and he just bangs them by the 20-year-old fold. I mean, the kid has... Talk about a potpourri for Christmas that Eastside Cheesecake sent me. Leonardo DiCaprio gets a potpourri of 20 rolls in a box every week. He's on renewed subscription.

And his lawyer is on retainer because that kid sends out more NDAs than I get fucking Spam mail in my AOL email box. That's how his lawyer works around the clock, dog. His lawyer works like a postal worker. Leonardo DiCaprio, do you think he's had sex with one woman who has not signed legal documentation before? That's why you haven't heard anything about Leo. I mean, these kids like James Franco who are just trusting humanity, who are just trusting people to do the right thing. It's like, dog,

get your lawyer. You can flirt with a girl and say, yeah, I'll put you in a movie, all this, but I need you to sign this. I need you to sign this. And you know, they're not going to read. Hoes don't read. They're not going to read the fine print where it says, whatever he promised you is not going to come true. You know, you can't talk about it on social media, all that stuff. That's what I love about Leo. That's what I love. And here, this is a person who believes in climate change. I believe in climate change because it's happening. I believe in science because it comes with rigor. That's why I don't believe anyone who tweets anything about COVID, if it's not in a medical journal or it hasn't had like many, many studies about it, that's just not what Western science is about.

The reason why people have come up with so many conspiracy theories is because they're behind the ball. This is new. We've been fucking biologically nuked. They caught us with our pants down. So we don't know a lot of things. They're learning. But this is coming from somebody who believes in all that stuff. But when you do these, like, when you watch the movie, it just smelled to me like it was made by climate gobles. It really just felt like a propaganda film.

It was too strong. It was too strong-handed. And then the tweets don't seem genuine everyone's tweeting this is the most important movie of our lifetime it has an important message yeah but was it good though i give it to you the ending was kind of decent um because everyone died and i was rooting for the comment but even the end was corny. Things were floating in the sky. There was stop signs and mugs and stuff.

It looked like the F is for Family beginning. It looked like a Simpson episode. The genre was all over the place, and the comedy was just kind of, you know. I like Step Brothers better. I'll just say that. I wasn't a fan. It wasn't rooted in any reality.

Not to say that Pet Detective was rooted in any reality, but it doesn't purport to be. You know what I mean? There's a difference when something is just silly and the subject matter is silly. But then when you try to do this very heavy-handed message movie, this almost feels like what the movies that Ben Shapiro's studio is going to make

where you're watching it and you know those movies are going to be like, take your gun out, partner. I bet you he's making Western movies and they're all going to be like, the script's going to be like, well, you know our founding fathers always said you got to guard freedom because the first thing the Nazis did was take away your guns. the script's gonna be like well you know our founding fathers always said you gotta guard

freedom because the first thing the nazis did was take away your guns and then you're gonna go hey man just chill out you know i'm talking about an email i sent you that you know it's like it'll just be like forced in there like hey man i just asked you if you wanted to get some ice cream and everything will be like corporate sponsored do you mean haagen-dazs ice cream they'll be sitting on the baseball field they'll do that cliche like because ben shapiro has his own like studio now he's making movies they'll do that like old uh cliche jay harvin says the movie wasn't rooted in any reality coming from a guy who made waves in his career by playing a fake woman. Good point. Good point, Marisa.

So you know his movies are going to be like, they'll do that cliche scene where there's two guys playing basketball. You know that scene where it's just like the main character, the protagonist and his best friend and they're just shooting hoop as that's what guys do when they're talking

about a girl. They're talking about a girl. They're talking about a girl and their new feelings for a girl. And you can clearly see that the actors don't play ball. It's like Philip Seymour Hoffman and Ben Stiller just throwing at the backboard. It looks like my wife playing hoops.

They'll do that in the Ben Shapiro movie. There'll be two guys going like, hey man, George Soros is behind these protests. By the way, man, what do you think about this girl? Do you think she loves me? I don't know, man. The jokes would be like, I don't know, man. She came to the party wearing a mask.

That's a red flag for me. I don't know, man. You can't trust these New York girls. Oh, man, but I know she wants to settle down in New York. You're going to settle down in that fucking, that liberal wasteland? I don't know if you can trust her, man. I'm telling you, though, this girl's the one. Hey, brother, listen, I'm your best friend.

I would tell you. If she said to settle down in Plano, Texas, I'd have another opinion. But this girl is obviously, has parents for a cuck, and she can't make her own decisions. Next thing you're going to know, you're going to tell me you're in love with some non-binary girl.

It'll be Romeo and Juliet made by, what is it called? The Daily, what is it? His production company? Well, look here. Here's his first production. Run, Hide, Fight. A Run, Hide, Fight centered around a 17-year-old high school student

taxing, protecting herself and her schoolmates during an active shoot. I mean, I want a meteor. I want it. I want more COVID. I mean, I can't live in this world, dog. I cannot live in this world. Well, Leonardo DiCaprio is making climate global videos,

and now they're making fucking Charlton Heston fucking global videos. I can't do this. Can we get back to normal movie making? This is going to force me to watch the rock movies. This is going to force me to watch Chasing Cars. Oh, my God. rock movies. This is going to force me to watch Chasing Cars. Oh my God. Of course his first movie is a

thwarted school shooting by a woman who was armed by a kid who was armed. Daily Wire It's called Run, Hide, Fight. Now this is the thing thing this movie is not a propaganda movie this is just a good old clean you know i mean this is a gut-wrenching film it does not offer easy

talking points which is why liberal hollywood executives have refused to distribute it i'm sick of hearing this shit i'm sick of fucking hearing it. I don't want to hear it anymore. I don't want to hear it. We're so partisan. And that's why Marjorie Taylor Greene has started a hashtag called national divorce. This is a member of Congress calling for a civil fucking war. And you know what? I want it to happen. I want it to happen. I want to have a last broadcast of long days that goes like this. Hey guys, we're shutting down production and you just

hear fucking shots in the background and then I just go, we just lost Jesse. Jesse is down. They're climbing through the windows. This is Long Days. Signing it off. Your long day is finally over, baby. Beam me up, Scotty. Jesus, I'm ready. Beam me up, baby.

So Marjorie Taylor Greene said, after Democratic voters and big donors ruin a state like California, you would think it wise to stop them from doing it to another great state like Florida, brother. Brainwashed people that move from California and New York really need a cooling off period. Now, she quote tweeted this, responding to this tweet. Again, this is a member of Congress in the United States of America. And you wonder why China is confident right now. Okay? We are Jake Paul and China is Tyson Fury. They're real at least. Meaning we're seemingly strong

but if you put us up against another real boxer we're probably gonna get fucked up. So she quote tweeted I support actively discriminating against transplants like this through legislation. They shouldn't be able to vote for a period.

And they should have to pay a tax for their sins. I mean, these are like, dude, these are like Hitler tweets. That's like what you'd hear like if like, because like Hitler didn't play like mind games like Putin or General Z. He just said it. Hitler just came out and he said it. You know, he just said, hey, man, yeah, they need to pay for their sins.

And you're going like, what are their sins? And they're going like, I'll be the judge of that. Let me decide what their judge. First, their sin is being a cuck. Their second sin is coming from California, which is cuck land. Their third sin is voting a party and having opinions I don't like. Basically, number three, they're a cuck. So they got to pay out money. You got to, this is the vague type of shit that's happening now. Like those abortion laws where it's like, if you assist somebody

in getting an abortion, you're like, wow, that's fucking vague, dude. You're basically putting a bounty on people's heads and you're turning citizens against each other. And now that's been codified into law. And then you're hearing a member of Congress go like vocally supporting a tweet that says that people who move to another state should have to pay tax for their sins and they shouldn't be able to vote for a period. And supporting a national divorce scenario. And if, you know,

national divorce is basically the let's go Brandon of let's get this civil war started. That's know national divorce is basically the let's go brandon of let's get this civil war started that's what national divorce is i don't think a divorce would be amicable i think it's amicable going hey you know okay you guys go over there you guys have your non-binary parade we'll have our american flag parade there was actually one scene in the movie, Don't Look Up, where at the end, I wanted to throw something at the TV. And my co-host, God bless her, Olivia Harland Decker on Unleashed, go listen to it if you're a sports fan.

She tweeted she loved the movie. And she said it had a very important message. A lot of people did. I just disagree. I disagree. There were some good moments. A lot of people did. I just disagree. I disagree. There were some good moments. A lot of people tweeted immediately, like the movie of the year. It just feels like that forced thing where Hollywood's going like, this is it. There was one scene at the end where they're

walking into Leonardo DiCaprio's house to have the last supper, right? They're dying. They know the meteor's coming. They have this calm dinner where they're talking to each other. Pretty cool scene because you know everyone's dying. When they're walking into the house, I kid you not, you can watch it. They're walking into the house. The next door neighbor has an American flag hanging off the front of their house and then the house one down

has a rainbow flag hanging on their house as they walk in. I wanted to go thank you for your subtlety, Adam McKay. There's just like two Americas and two movies for different people now.

That movie's just going to convince people who don't believe in climate change to double down because it was so annoying. Why is my nose itch yanni playing with his nose more than leo plays with 18 year olds yeah i don't know why it itches i think it itches when i know i'm having a subpar episode you can't tell you can't tell what people like no matter what you make now i watch some horrible putrid things that when you watch you're going like i can't believe they're doing this i can't tell what people like. No matter what you make now, I watch some horrible putrid things that when you watch, you're going like, I can't believe they're doing this.

I can't believe they made this into a clip. You know? I mean, horrible. Horrible podcast, horrible clip. And then you see people commenting, and they fucking love it. And then, like, you know, I'll put out what is obviously comedy gold. You know, even last episode. I mean, almost 100% of the people liked it,

but you'll get a comment about everything. One guy goes, Yanni, please never sing again. I'm going like, he goes, I listened to that song.

I usually love you, Yanni, but I listened to your Christmas song at the beginning and I had to turn it off. You're going like, you can't fucking please. And that's what frightens

so many comedians about the internet and that's why they stay away because you have to have a really thick skin to deal with it. A lot of comedians don't like that. They'd rather just be told by a booker that they're good. Good boy. Good boy. I know your parents didn't pay attention to you, but you can work here. Good boy. Good girl. You have a home here. What are you getting paid? 50 bucks. Less than the waiter, but you're a good boy you can tweet how proud you are that you got

you got passed by a former bartender by a failure in life who's basically a restaurant manager said you were good good boy good little ignored comic good little ignored comic that's why that's why so many comics are afraid of the internet they're afraid to change because in the internet you have to hear directly from the people

directly under your work and people say the most horrible things I mean I just get a constant barrage my fans now call themselves the Cyclops cult

you know what I mean like you have to be able to handle it. Like Heybert couldn't handle the heat. You know? He's like, I don't like that. I don't like it. That just makes it worse. It just makes it worse when you don't like it.

You gotta, you know. Jay Harvin 15 says, most bookers are the kids that got bullied for what they wore in high school. I'd say even worse than that. I'd say they were just kind of kids in high school. Not all of them. A lot of them are great.

They're all great. Allegedly. Allegedly. Everything is alleged. They're great. They're comedy geniuses. They know. They always get it right.

They figured it out. They're number one. They're legendary. They're legendary. There's some legendary bookers out there. There's some bookers who are legendary for writing names in a book and times. Legendary for going, this guy goes here, this girl goes there. Fucking legendary.

And that's why they're working in a basement and not in a fucking studio executive's office. Can we stop? Can we stop? If you work at a place that serves cheese fries, you're not legendary. Bernie Brillstein was legendary. brilsteed was legendary okay brad gray was legendary although i heard he was an asshole i don't mind i'd rather an asshole who achieves than someone with hubris who works where there's cheese fries being served and who thinks that they have authority over people who have to fucking figure out how to make a living with just their mind and their broken charisma.

Yanni's eyes are Siamese twins. Thank you, Kenny B. Yanni is cast in the next Adam McKay movie as Maurisa. That would never, ever happen. Adam McKay would rather throw me in jail than put me in the movie as Ma Risa. That would never, ever happen. He would, Adam McKay would rather throw me in jail than put me in the movie Asma Risa. This is how a guy talks when he already has all the dates booked and has a wonderful agent.

That is correct. That is correct. You would never hear me say that if I was in Jay Harvin's position. Jay Harvin, you know, you just got to pretend, baby. You got to pretend to love everyone. Adam McKay and Will Ferrell broke up. What happened? What happened?

Is this like a Seth Rogen? This is like a Seth Rogen? What happened? McKay said Ferrell took it way deeper, was way hurt than I ever imagined. What was the fight over? Ooh, ooh, I want to know. This is juicier than the history hyenas breakup.

Ooh, ooh. Come on, internet. We don't want to know what was going on with Ron's gone wrong. Our podcast is great because we got the world's worst Googler. I got the world's most talented producer but world's worst Googler. I'm terrible. If only fucking Googling was sculpting,

I'd be in the money. Jesse punches keys with two fingers. He's got a GED, but he's a great finger painter. Okay, the big short. First of all, the big short was an incredible movie. Now that is a movie with a message

that didn't feel like cheesy and overhanded. So I'm not, I'm not, you know, if a movie has a message, if it's well done, it's well done.

This movie could have been well done, but it had the motif of the toxic Avenger and like the cheesiness of Armageddon okay um so what's the breakup about oh Farrell uh project about the 1980s LA Lakers was the culmination of a year of creative differences that led to a split Farrell took it as a way deeper hurt than I ever imagined and I tried to reach out to him and I reminded him of some slights that were thrown my way

that were never apologized for, said McKay. The whole time it was like, I was saying it out loud, like, let's not become an episode of Behind the Music. Don't let it happen. And it happened. Well, obviously that's why Adam McKay's latest movie sucked because he's not friends with funny people anymore.

Will Ferrell, maybe the funniest comedic actor ever. Any more juice? The whole time they were doing Gary Sanchez, I was saying, I don't care what happens as long as this company doesn't fuck with our friendship. That's their production company. Oh, they had a production company together yeah it just never works out you know things like that just don't work out um you know so don't look up uh yeah go go see it and judge for yourself I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I want it to be respectful. I should have called him and I didn't. McKay said Farrell took it as a way deeper. I said, well, I mean, we're splitting up the company. And he basically was like, yeah, we are. And basically was like, have a good life. Yeah, you want to know why? Because Will Farrell has a heart.

People who have hearts get hurt. Adam McKay is talking like an AI bot in this fucking interview. He's going like, hey, guy, it's just business. It's like, well, not to Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell thought you were friends. You know the reason why you had fucking chemistry in the beginning and decided to start a production company? The reason why you got put on the map, Adam McKay? Nobody would know who you were, Adam McKayay if it wasn't for fucking will ferrell and obviously now that will

ferrell's gone your movie sucked dick it sucked i don't care how much fucking firepower you had in it you could have had fucking daniel day lewis playing the meteor. It still would have sucked dick. It seems like it's over a casting issue. It was a casting issue. What happened? Did Adam McKay want to cast a non-binary Hawaiian to play Will Ferrell's role? Was he like,

hey, Will, I don't think we should put you in the movie right now because right now you're a white guy. You're a white guy. He's middle-aged. We can't really do it. They started Funny or Die Together. All his hit movies had Will Ferrell in them. Oh, it's sad. It's sad. It's sad. It's sad. It's sad. It's sad. Will Ferrell and Adam McKay have broken up. James Franco and Seth Rogen have broken up.

Who's next? Who is next? Who's it going to be next? Is it going to be America and Donald Trump breaking up? Because since he's come out supporting the vaccine, I mean, they are turning on him big what do you got you got juice yeah so it looks like McKay instead of casting Will Ferrell he cast uh John C Reilly as Jerry Buss so and he didn't tell Ferrell so he just cast but he cast um Reilly and didn't tell Ferrell it. And who was producing the movie?

It's McKay's movie. It's about the Lakers. But was it their production company that was producing it? I think it's for HBO. Yeah. He cast John C. Riley over Will Pharrell. To soon to cast Pharrell's best friend, John C. Riley, as Jerry Buss. Pharrell took it

as a way deeper hurt I tried to reach out to him and remind him of some slights so at least he knew it was a slight he's like I tried to remind him

of some slights that he threw my way you know Hollywood's just a horrible it's a entertainment's just a horrible business the whole time

I was like saying it out loud let's not become an episode yeah so that's what happened. But whose production company was behind? Can you find out that?

The problem started a decade before the Lakers project, however, fairly soon. After promoting Broadway show, You're Welcome America in 2009, Ruction started to develop around McKay's desire to produce more and more projects without Pharrell. So that's really what it is. Who was keener on making comedies, according to McKay.

The whole time we were doing Gary Sanchez, I was saying blah, blah, blah. I had a little creative differences. He was brought on board to edit Pharrell's comedy, Holmes and Watson, to attempt to redress what he described as rough shape. Oof. Oof. Oh, he quit after they took a sponsorship, Funny or Die, after he took a sponsorship

from Shell Oil. So he's real woke. Yeah, McKay's real woke. That's what I was getting at. That's why he said he wanted to cast because I knew that. So McKay quit their joint Funny or Die when Will Ferrell took a sponsorship from some oil company. As if Adam McKay doesn't fly plates. I mean, it's just too extreme, my guy.

You can criticize the industry, but you can't be a hypocrite about it. You're wearing sneakers, right? You're wearing sneakers, Adam McKay? You know where rubber comes from, my friend? It's made from slave labor and oil. Plastic made from oil. And oil! Plastic made from oil!

So they had, yeah, Adam McKay's Superwok. He's Superwok. He's like Seth Rogen in Superwok. And I'm sure their next movie will be about an ashtray maker in Italy who gets hijacked. Who gets hijacked because the ashtrays are so sought after they get stolen. By white supremacists. By white supremacists. And then a karate woman.

A karate woman. A karate woman is going to come and save the day. I can't take any more of these movies with karate women beating up guys. I've just had enough. I've just had enough. I can't handle it. Can we just make a realistic movie where a woman just tries karate on a guy

and the guy just tackles her and just starts ground and pounding her because he's 200 pounds and she's 130? I don't know how much I believe Uma Thurman is just going to start kicking butt. I've had enough of this Charlie's Angels bullshit. It's not realistic. Jay Harvin 15.

Sad split up. Though the last time two white dudes were that lethal, John Stockton was throwing assists to Jeff Hornacek. Very true. Very basketball. Very inside. I think Jay Harvin's just better in studio now keep fucking shooting baby keep shooting though

don't get discouraged that that was subpar because you're very funny so DoorDash and this was an article that actually Jared Harvin sent us today DoorDash is and this was an article that actually Jared Harvin sent us today. DoorDash is making all of its employees

deliver food. You know there's some executives or like even engineers going like, hey, we get it. Like I think we get it. Like do we have to, I think, I get it, you know?

And whoever's the woke CEO is going like, they did this for the PR. They did this for the PR. We live in a completely fabricated, like everyone has an avatar. Everyone has read the 40 laws of power, whatever that fucking dingbat book is. And everyone, one of his laws is like, there's got to be a distance between who you really are and what you present. You know, people like Madonna reinvent themselves over and over again. You know, people like a fabricated image. And so like, that's what the world has become now. It's just one big Budweiser commercial. It's all bullshit. You know, DoorDash did this for PR and you know,

they called, they tested it. They probably tested how people would respond to something like this. And they had their focus groups go, that would be really great. That would be really, it's like Cake Boss. He kind of comes and does the job. That show did really great. They probably got the idea from Cake Boss. Like, oh my God, so down to earth. Because DoorDash is seeking to distance itself from Grubhub and Seamless and Uber Eats. So this is just a marketing move and it's a brilliant one. Give them fucking credit. Give them credit. So DoorDash is requiring. That would be funny if I was like, hey man, like, you know, I'm an engineer. Like I didn't, I'm not, I didn't get hired to hand someone fucking in and out burgers and

they're going no we need you to know what the experience is and the guy's going like i could kind of use my imagination to what the experience is like i take the food i put it on my passenger seat car in my car i drive i drive it to where the gps tells to go, okay? And I leave it on the doorstep because we got COVID rules. And then I walk away, okay? Or I take a picture of it to prove that it's there. I mean, this isn't brain surgery, dog. It's like part of it is like,

it's a brilliant move when you hear it because it like tugs at your heartstrings like a Budweiser commercial. But the reality of it is like a little demeaning. Like if you're a fucking engineer, like you don't need to hop into a car and hand someone sushi. You get it. You know what they're going through. I mean, it's like, they're not, you know, you know, you know what we need to do? Everyone, we need to, you know, we need the metaverse should be the metaverse should be Sudan. It should be Sudan. And we're all forced by meta into the metaverse to live virtually in Sudan. But on the

outside too, they put all these people in a warehouse where the conditions are the same as Sudan. So not only do you have your Sudan goggles on when you look around and all you see is live animals, I mean, you know, giving you fucking virus. The only reason why the viruses don't get to the rest of the world in Sudan, because there's no international flights that go out of Sudan. So those guys got fucking Corona viruses over there that they got from fucking bushmeat that hasn't, that they've already been through a hundred of them and they're never going to get to the outside world because nobody fucking leaves Sudan because there's no way to get out or in from Sudan there's nobody taking holiday in Sudan there's no tourists going oh fuck I got Montezuma's revenge because I was

in Sudan for a week at a resort that's what people need to do they need to realize that you know what driving your food in a car to someone's house for what? 15 or 20 bucks an hour is not the worst thing in the fucking world, man. Working at an Amazon factory, delivering packages ain't the fucking worst thing in the world. Now, should you be able to have a living wage? Yes. Can we tweak things and labor laws? Yes. But like having to do this sort of Labor laws, yes, but like having to do this sort of, this pomp and circumstance bullshit to try to prove a point about how you want to understand, you want to understand what these delivery guys are going through. It's like, guess what, dog?

You don't have to do that if your drivers are from South Asia. They get it. They'll be like, don't, you don't have to, don't worry. I came from Calcutta. Don't have to worry. In your country, they say you're not even allowed to do that voice. That's very funny to me because where I come from, they just rape me. And that's it. There's no toilets. There's poverty like you would never understand. So I am very pleased and happy to be able to make these American dollars driving sushi around. They don't need you to understand. They don't need you. They work their asses off. This is spoiled Americans just, you know, virtue signaling to each other.

Do we know what it's like? Do you know what it's like to drive an Uber? They should let these guys write some code. Let the delivery guys write some code. Yeah, how about the delivery guys write some code? You know? It's like, because guess what? If the delivery guy can't write code, he's getting hired. I mean, this is just bullshit,

dude. I wonder, like, how much of this is just foreign subterfuge just leaking into our digital world trying to, like, take away American exceptionalism, you know? Because here's the deal in America. Present day America, if you have exceptional skills,

you will be rewarded for those skills. That is the virtuous side of the free market. There is a dark side. I've talked about that on other episodes. So don't try to take this fucking clip and turn me into a proud boy. Okay. That's what these fucking fake ass journalists do now, you know, and don't worry, they're not watching because my numbers aren't big enough yet. They coincidentally come around. They come around when your numbers get big, you know,

they come around coincidentally, like, like coincidentally how James Franco's accusers just coincidentally a couple years later aren't comfortable with the power dynamic. But I've talked endlessly about some of the critiques I have about capitalism. I'm not an economist, so don't take what I say seriously. I have an opinion and I'm trying to be funny. But I really wonder, because if you are someone who has exceptional skills, no matter what your race, religion, or gender is, you will be hired, especially in the tech world. Trust me, you will be fucking hired. Is there human error? Yes. Is

there discrimination and sexism? Yes. People are biased. But at the end of the day, money talks. So like when Ronda Rousey became one of the highest paid MMA fighters, it was evidence that look, if you become a draw, you know, you make money. It's like the WNBA, nobody came to your fucking parade. I saw the parade. Nobody was there. It was people going to work. Okay.

You could have at least did it at lunch hour in the business district. So it looked like there were people there because they were going to lunch, okay? You could have at least did it at lunch hour in the business district so it looked like there were people there because they were going to lunch, but you decided to do it at like 3 p.m. when everyone was still at their office. It's like the NBA wasn't always such a big thing. It's like certain players made it huger. It's like look at female tennis players. They make gazillions. You want to know why? Because guys are watching it. Mostly guys. These are just facts that make you uncomfortable. That's your problem. Mostly guys watch women's tennis. Mostly guys watch women's MMA.

Okay? If you want women to get paid more in sports, how about this, ladies? You stop watching the fucking Real Housewives and you start watching women's basketball. You're a majority of the population. If they started watching it the way that we watch Golden State Warriors games, they'd be fucking sold out. What do you want from me? Leave me alone. The opportunity is there. It's there. It's like capitalism. The stock market's there. Anyone can invest now. Ironically, this is the time where there is the least to complain about. There's opportunity. The stock market used to be only for elites, right? You used to have to have a broker. You used to have a reputation, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You have to used to go to an elite institution. You used to have to know someone who was a broker from your elite, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now, all you need is a fucking phone. And guess what? Even poor people in America have those. All you need is a phone and an app. You can invest your money anywhere. You can learn it. You can do anything. You can make your own videos. You can invest your money anywhere. You can learn in it.

You can do anything. You can make your own videos. You can be your own student. You have an idea, you can do it. I mean, I had Devin Rodriguez or the kid was raised in a crack house and he's one of the biggest TikTokers in the world. You know, it's all your perspective,

especially now, you know? Stop yelling at ghosts. Stop yelling at ghosts. You know? Stop yelling at ghosts. Stop yelling at ghosts. You know? Robert E. Lee's fucking dead, dog. His statue's down. And they found a... You know?

Women can vote. White men don't even make the most money in this country anymore. It's a good time to be a Chinese woman. because they have the highest income. It's a good time to be Nigerian because they have a higher medium income than white men. White men aren't even, I think they're like fourth of the list. Can you look it up? Like medium incomes?

You know? That's the irony of it. This is the time where there's the least to complain about, but people complain the most. And people will watch this and go, yeah, but, there's always an example. Nothing's perfect.

But generally, what am I saying that's not true? You know? I mean, if Robert E. Lee was around now, he'd be forced to have a podcast on Anthony Kamiya's network. And so, you know, he'd be forced to make movies on Ben Shapiro's network.

Ben Shapiro. Jeff Bezos, dude, is jacked. He's 57 or something. Look at this fucking kid, dude. I mean, if this kid's not on Juice, his new name is Jack Bezos. He's been on vacation. He's got some peace with him.

I mean, this is what, I want to talk about the patriarchy again. Just to keep it annoying people. His wife got, he obviously left his wife for some hotter puss puss. And his wife, I think, got half of his fortune. That's how powerful hot puss puss is. Who is this chick who's with him?

Because I will put all my money that she didn't invent Yahoo. I will put all my money on the fact that she did not invent AOL. I'll put all my money that she's not a VP at Facebook. Who is this hoe? Lauren Sanchez? Yes. What is she? What's her career? Probably in marketing. She's a media personality. She's a media personality.

She's a media personality. She's an influencer. That is how powerful the self-lubricating is. The best is that this guy left his wife, gave her half of his fortune, which is billions of dollars, so he could get jacked and get on a boat to bang a YouTuber. Someone who has Jake Paul in her text history.

Somebody who knows Daniel Dobrik. She is a YouTube sensation. Oh no, she was on Fox. Fox Sportsnet. Oh, she's a local anchor. KCOP TV. KCOP TV, Instagram bikini pics. I had a feeling that she wasn't a brain surgeon.

I had a feeling. So, you know, when you talk about the patriarchy in the same breath, just also talk about how weak men are for sweet hot bus bus and how so many women play into that. So many women play into that by emphasizing the things that guys are weak for. You know what I'm saying? I mean, Arnold Schwarzenegger's divorce was finally formalized after

10 years do you want to know why he got divorced he fucked his housekeeper he threw his whole life away for his housekeeper ah yeah so she's pretty nice looking and how old is she I'm gonna guess what 57 how old is she she's pretty nice looking. And how old is she? I'm going to guess, what, 57?

How old is she? She's actually 52. Not bad. Surprisingly. Not bad. I'm railing against the guy. I know nothing about the story. Maybe his first wife was unbearable.

Maybe his first wife was like Jennifer Gardner. Maybe his first wife was worse than Jennifer Gardner. You know? Drove him to drink. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is just, maybe I'm looking at the wrong perspective.

Maybe this is just another example of a pig man who left his wife with billions of dollars, left his family, and just went for another woman i don't know but the kid has never looked better i'll tell you that look at that yeah he's never looked better so god bless him he went from same thing with um elon musk when you look at old pictures i mean these kids were as geeky as geek can be and now they just all look like they do mma with joe rogan look at him he's a bookworm here yeah i mean look i mean he's a geek geeky as geek can be. And now they just all look like they do MMA with Joe Rogan.

Look at him. He's a bookworm here. Yeah. I mean, look at him. He's a geek. And then look at him now. He looks like he could, you know, be in a Jason Statham movie. Look at this kid. He's completely jacked. So, those guys figured it out.

And they did good. Alright, Eastside Cheesecakes, thank you for the cheesecake, my favorite was the birthday cake, ah, they sent us these cheesecakes, they're so delicious, I love the original, I love the birthday cake, thank you from our Mr. Pano's Holiday Potpourri, me and Jesse enjoyed them so much. And let's go to some small business shout outs. I want to give a shout out to David Hines. It's called The Dictator, a comedy audio film by the Hines brothers. Go check it out. It follows Adolf Hitler's quest to seduce genius scientist Joseph Mengele,

featuring all your World War II favorites, Goebbels, Stalin, Mussolini, Anne Frank, The Elephant Man, and many, many more. You know, the funniest people on the planet. Listen to anywhere you get your podcasts for the Dictator, D-I-C-K-T-A-T-R. I'm gonna check that out this week. I'm curious. So check it out with me and we'll talk about it.

Thank you, David Hines. Nate Linder. natelinder.com, your social media guru. Take it to the next level, brother. You need any social media stuff? You want to get the number one rank on Google? You want to build your brand? Hit up natelinder at natelinder.com right now and get his crazy good rates, guys, for people and companies, whatever. Then Grant Trower at granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com for any of your real estate needs in South Florida. 954-591-6465.

Hit up Grant Trower, the man. Chris Minetti in South Jersey or Philly. If you need to cash a check and you want to keep the IRS out of your business, hit up Chris at 215-750-3730 and drink some water and go to Wawa. Then we got Michael Hamlet Jr., my man, from thebronxbrand.com, thebronxbrand.com, 15% off.

Just use the promo code FUMES. Go get yourself some of these nice art they have up there. T-shirts, whatever they got. Go support these local artists from the Bronx. Get yourself something. TheBronxBrand.com. Eastside Cheesecakes, of course. Talking to you.

They sent us these cheesecakes. Me and Jesse had them. It was the Baron Von Gingerbread, the Strawberry Crunch Queen, the Pumpkin's Mistress, and the Sprinkle Me Santa, and the Ex-New Yorker. I don't know which was which, but I'll say the original cheesecake was my favorite. And Jesse loved the gingerbread, man, and you loved the Pumpkin's Mistress. I didn't love that much. I went with the Sprinkle Santa. I mean, they were good, but it's not my flavors.

But the cheesecake is incredible. I mean, it is just damn good you can taste how fresh it is and this shit traveled across the country so I can only imagine what it tastes like if you live in Los Angeles but also it was packed fresh and delicious so whatever event you're having or dessert you want to get order from

Eastside Cheesecakes at EastsideCheesecakes.com and check out all their fun flavors and I recommend like I said Order from Eastside Cheesecakes at eastsidecheesecakes.com and check out all their fun flavors. And I recommend, like I said, and I'll be honest, neither one of us were big on the Strawberry Crunch Queen. We weren't big on the flavor. Yeah, it was all right. It was all right. But it's a great cheesecake.

It just wasn't our favorite flavor. So, you know, everyone has an opinion. So my opinion is to, I don't know if they're still making the Sprinkle Me Santa because Christmas is over. But whatever version of that, get shit that shit was good um and uh i guess it's the sx new yorker because it's the original that's the classic that's the classic so the x new yorker the classic it's so good i don't even think you need to flavor it but also jesse loved the baron von gingerbread so he recommends that and the pumpkin and the pumpkin's mistress he represents he recommends those so we have four recommendations so good The only one we went crazy about was the strawberry mistress, but other people may be crazy about it if they love strawberry. Aaron Leaf, forthefree.us,

all things music in Hawaii. For the Free is an organization dedicated to providing artists from Hawaii a place to develop their craft. They list musics, concerts, they tell you about bands, et cetera. Forthefree.us. Go to the website. Take a peruse. And then if you're moving your car anywhere in the world, go to Jared Z's exclusiveautoshipping.com and get your free quote to move your cars if you're moving. You know, for example, if you're moving to Austin, you know, or Florida like everybody else, call up exclusiveautoshipping.com. Now, we just lost

two. I want to say rest in peace to Reese Orman. Thank you so much for your time with us. We wish you well. Hope you grew together. There are two open slots. So go join them now if you want to be a small business shout out on long days. Now, let's get to our new Patreon members. Welcome to the long haul crew, my friends. Okay, welcome to patreon.com slash yannilongdays to Jake, Joseph Thielman, Dola Lama, Eric Leckren, Alexandra Espedia, Raul Bernstein. Wow, that's a good one. It's like Spanish first name. That's what you call it, Brooklyn Mutt right there. Orlando Fume, Kelly, Nathan T. Dan, Lauren Wolf, Monoro Man. The divorce made me realize I really just liked hanging out at dad's

and I don't like mom's new boyfriend anyway, so I'm here. Bye, babe. out at dad's and I don't like mom's new boyfriend anyway so I'm here bye babe and then Deej Mike Adams white kid in a Greek hood welcome

Chowdhury Zaheib Ahmad welcome Willie P Juice Steven West El Padrino 7-11 Ashley Lyle. Welcome. Bob Smith and Terry Mackinac.

Welcome all you guys. Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. Thanks for joining. The bonus episode is being moved back to Thursdays. Okay? And that's what it will be from now on. So you will get your occasional second episode, whenever we have a guest on Thursday, we'll have our every Saturday show and the bonus will always be on Thursday from now on. So we split the week up like that.

So thank you all. You are the most important fans we have. And I encourage everyone, please go support the show over at patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. have. And I encourage everyone, please go support the show over at patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. I will be making it much, much, much, much, much more worth it than it already is, which is a lot worth it now. But I'm really going to be focusing on the Patreon in 2022 and forward. So go over to patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays, support the show, man. We got bills to pay and I appreciate each and every one of you. Happy new year and I'll see you all in 2022, man. I hope you're all alive and well and I really love you guys and I love doing this show. And please, if you can, just, if every single person who listened to this show told one friend, we would double our numbers.

That's all you got to do is just keep spreading the word to friends who you think would love the show. Thank you, and I'll see you in 2022, which is now.