Yannis Pappas Hour - Adrenochrome Slurpies - LongDays with Yannis Pappas - Episode 25

Episode Date: June 20, 2021

On this week’s episode of LongDays, Yanni reviews the recent supreme court rulings--the girls & boys in black dresses had a busy week — and reminisces about Justice Clarance Thomas’ attempted canceling by the left--a canceling truly ahead of its time. Year’s later, do you think Anita Hill was telling the truth? Well, what we do know is that if you are against abortion and get nominated by the supreme court you gonna have a hit out on you! Also, why is the Catholic Church still allowed to have adoption agencies, nah mean? Yanni details why gay men couples are without a doubt the most conservative people on the planet! We also cover Republican Obamacare closet cases and All lives matter hypocrites. hey, Congressman Clyde, why are you still socially distancing and not shaking hands with capital hill police officer, Michael Fanone—a good Italian kid who loves his mudder! Nestle in hot water (pun intended) for present day slavery ties. It’s Longdays family, so you know there were a lot of fair points from Comment roulette. Juneteenth ain't no national cupcake day but its kinda of an important holiday, no? Swiss bankers run the world and das it! Oh, and Yanni goes in on Erica from Real Housewives and her scumbag husband Tom Giardi! Wasdadealis!   For an additional bonus episode every week and more Yantent, click here and support the show: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays   Get 25% off your CBD products at https://sundayscaries.com with promo code [YANNIS]. Take care of your fumes, guys. https://www.manscaped.com promo code: FUMES   The show goes out every Saturday at 10 est. to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!   Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis Pappas   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome, everybody, to another episode of the most important weekly wrap-up in your news brought to you by a very, very important journalist and scientist who has the pronouns hee-haw. What happened this week? Well, who cares? Because guess what? I'm doing the whole episode like this because it's Pride Week. Time to see guys and assholes chaps walking down the street

so I can just be scared to talk to my daughter about gay pride. Can you please move that fucking festival of leather to the nighttime? We support gay rights. I don't support seeing your asshole before 12 noon. Juneteenth should definitely be a holiday. It is actually right now National Mascot Day. So there's a fucking holiday for mascots, but not one for the end of slavery. Go fuck yourself, USA.

If I was black, I'd punch me in the face too. Jon Stewart went on Compaber and created a no-no and broke Facebook's policy and Vice Magazine doesn't know what to do with itself. Can't compute. Can't compute. Liberal John Stewart

saying that it was a laboratory leak. Can't compute. Comber, are we going to get canceled? Can't compute. Can't compute. He's a Nazi, but he's a Jew. He's a white supremacist, but he's a Jew.

I am Yanni Longdays and that's all I got to tell y'all And there's something up. Now here comes a great kid you know you can trust. From the truth to the news and cameras. To the fake politics and the propaganda. Yeah, this kid's screwed in. Got a lot to say. Aw, shit. It's about to be a long day. It's a long day. It's a long day coming. Somebody just said, what we doing now? What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of long days with yannis pappas thank you for joining me we know that you have a lot of options and podcasts to watch um and we appreciate you here stopping on your scroll and hopefully getting past the first few minutes

so i can get paid by my google advertisers. Hope you stick around. I mean, what else are you doing, really? I mean, Chinese are making all your stuff. You don't need to go to work. You need to grind. So you can watch this podcast and definitely grind. We are the grind friendly podcast. You can have it on the background while you sit there and call your boys and yes, son, yes, son, I love that idea, son. We son yes and i love that idea son we're gonna do that too we're gonna do that too come over with the weed and let's grind let's think of more things to grind about what a fucking week for the supreme court the supreme court was in action this week working the justices the uh the men in cloaks that uh really dictate a lot of what happens in this country and a lot of people you know at least used to be like the robert borks the old school

conservatives used to call it the runaway supreme court because they have too much power do they have too much power should we expand the court i don't know know. I don't know. I know that the liberals wanted to expand the court because fucking Trump. Trump selected how many? 27 judges? Did he put on there? He stacked the court. So then all of a sudden the liberals are like, let's expand it. Let's expand it so we can get more Libby's on there.

It's fucking team basketball, dogs, and root for your hometown okay it's even team basketball on the supreme court and the rulings are usually looked at through the filter of does this work for me as a right-wing guy or does this work for me as a left-wing lady i'm talking to the fellas as well. So the Supreme Court was very busy. First off, let's talk about their first ruling, which was rejecting a lawsuit. First of all, if you can name all 15,

what is it, nine or 15? How many on the squad? Nine. Nine, okay? That's nine. You got a fucking, you got a starting five and then four off the bench. Who's the sixth man of the year? Clarence Thomas.

He puts pubic hairs on coke cans. He was the original me too or two. Because does anyone really believe that story? You know what I'm saying? Who's to know that the liberals don't go after anyone who's not? If you're against abortion, if you are against abortion if you are against abortion you better be careful because your car might explode i mean they put a hit out on you dog if you are against abortion so i don't know if you guys know about the anita hill situation but he was the original

what was the guy who just got me to by um by. Come on. Who said that some guy grinded on her at a party and held her down while the other friend laughed. Kavanaugh. Kavanaugh. Kavanaugh. And then what was her name? Come on. Blasey Ford? Yeah, Blasey Ford.

I like to call her female Jesus who came to save us. The original Supreme Court nominee who was me too'd, and this was after he was already on the bench, was Clarence Thomas. And one of the things Anita Hill said that he did was put a pubic hair on a Coca-Cola can. Which I don't know about what your moves are. I don't know how you like to pick up ladies. But, you know, that just sounds like that comes from the imagination of a woman.

I'm not sure. I don't know what happened. I don't remember the rest of the details. I'm not trying to not validate her experience. I'm just saying I've known a lot of dudes. I've hit on a lot of girls, even though I'm shy. I've spoken to a lot of dudes who've hit on girls. Not one of them was like yo dog chill chill

chill don't tell them you're a minor league baseball player don't take out your american express black card don't take her to a comedy show so you can see your charisma don't show him your haircut that you got from drew's barber that he will make us reschedule this podcast so he can get a haircut don't show him that fly fucking crip's hair, okay? Don't grow a fucking nice beard like Jesse Scatoro or show a fucking sculpture that he can do with his fucking hands because the kid's a finger painter. Don't try to impress him that way. What the broads want, what the broads really want,

is a single pubic hair on their ginger ale can. So now that we've covered the important parts of the history of the supreme court let's talk about these things that i got sidetracked for the first one is um it was brought before the supreme court that a catholic charities rejected a same-sex couple to give a kid to and that couple probably sued and when they sued they probably sued like that they fucking you know what i'm saying i think it was two guys so they definitely were like fuck your church fuck you you fucking child fuckers fuck you and the supreme court up throughout didn't upheld they threw out the lawsuit against the catholic charities saying that it violated their First Amendment

or some bullshit like that. So, okay, there's a few things to unpack here. Don't liberals like to say unpack? They love saying, let me unpack this. You give them a statement, they're like, okay, first off, let's unpack the morality of that, and then let's unpack why you're a Nazi. Okay, First Amendment, yeah, that's interesting.

That's an interesting thing. If they were suing, if they were getting sued because the couple was saying you can't say something, it doesn't seem like they said something. It seems like they did something. I got my legal expert here, Mike Emoji Faisuarez, who I'm glancing at, who is a law clerk of the year, did a little time in Justice Thompson's

fucking, Justin Thompson's office and used to put pubic hairs on all the girls' coke cans for him. Talk about a fucking internship in the summer of 89. But the Supreme Court is fucking showing its colors here a little bit, in my opinion, and those colors are red because I don't know if this violates the First Amendment of the Catholic Church charities because the First Amendment's about speech.

This is an action where their action was refused to act. So that's not a first amendment issue that's more of a hey let's take a look at the track record of this gay couple and let's take a look at the track record of this catholic charities i'm gonna say fuck you i'm gonna thumbs down the supreme court i'm gonna give them one rotten tomato on this jesse scottoro Because I think they did a boo-boo here. Because any time the state can facilitate or enforce getting a child away from the hands of Catholics, I think that's a good thing.

I think that should be like, hey, we're not even going to go to trial. We want to adjudicate this quickly. Let's go to mediation, and the mediation will take two seconds because that child will be released from your clutches, you historically raping of children organization. Why is the Catholic Church even allowed to fucking rent out kids? Why are they allowed to be an adopted kid store? That store should be fucking closed down. If they were raping children in the

basement of fucking target target would be shut down. Guess where they are raping children. Guess where they are fucking making children into adrenochrome supply for the fucking machines and Tom Hanks's house. Okay. Cause if you go in Tom hanks's house okay because if you go in tom hanks's basement that shit looks like a fucking bar keg in the basement where like a 7-eleven slurping machine the adrenochrome goes up and makes bloody marys for fucking his friends like john stamos okay also in the vatican is there there's just a bar in the vatican that has a tap and it says filipino chinese italian euro caucasian south asian and guys just roll up and say can i get an adrenoclone bloody mary and they go absolutely and how would you like your eggs and do you want extra

horseradish in in your tie In your tie, boy? Bloody Mary. The moral high ground is not possessed by Catholic charities in this point. I would have looked at this lawsuit if I was the justices. But of course, we got some fucking Catholics on there, right? We got Justice Thompson is a Catholic. We got Kennedy. Is Kennedy still on there? Kennedy's a Catholic. And of course, the Kennedy still on there? Kennedy's a Catholic.

And of course, the fucking, the Catholic of them all, Kavanaugh, Kenny Kavanaugh, okay? So I think they're showing their colors here and those colors are blood for the Virgin Mary and blood for the Republican Party red because they should look into the background of these gay guys and say, what have they done? And if all they've done is go to a few raves,

do a little ecstasy, and lick peanut butter off each other's assholes, that's a safe environment for the child. That's a loving environment. What do they do? Do they watch Will and Grace reruns? Do they candle shop together? Do they antique?

I mean, do they, does one hairstyle for the other? Do they watch Real Housewives reruns? I mean, God bless. Is there anything more responsible in a template? If you were to, on paper, is there any two people more responsible on paper than two gay guys that decide to settle down? There's nothing more conservative than that. This irony is conservatives, a lot of conservatives in the far right hate gays. Here's the deal. If two gay guys get off Grindr to settle down and watch fucking TV reruns together, they are 10 times more conservative than you, guy.

10 times more conservative. That's the most conservative fucking person on the planet, or persons, or however they identify. So to give a child to two men who want to settle down is probably the safest place for that kid to go, all right? You don't want to give that kid to fucking Mike Emoji Face. That kid would throw that fucking child in the backpack and then take place for that kid to go all right you don't want to give that kid to fucking mike emoji face that kid would throw that fucking child in the backpack and then take him on a bus to the long day studio in bay ridge and then take a hit of his inhaler and then forget to feed the kid because mike ate his food too and mike's a single straight man so why the fuck would A, not the Supreme Court, countersue the Catholic churchery, come on, man, for having children?

And second, fuck you. They should be sued and they should get that kid. They should get that kid. I wish I was raised by two gay men. Are you kidding me? I was raised by a traumatized war survivor from the island of Crete who purported to be a communist

but liked to wear Fendi shoes and signed her Christmas cards, sincerely dearest mother, dearest son Yanni, and then she would copy and paste a poem like she was Melania Trump. She'd steal a speech from Obama, Dearest Son Yanni, and then she would copy and paste a poem. Like she was Melania Trump. She'd steal a speech from Obama, Obama's wife, and put it in my Christmas card, and then sign it, Sincerest, Your Dearest Mother, Dr. Anna Mamelakis Pappas.

And she wasn't a doctor. She just had a JSD in law that she never did anything with, except sue the hell out of my dad for half of his fucking money. that she never did anything with except sue the hell out of my dad for half of his fucking money. So I would have loved to be fucking brought up by a guy named Dale and Trevor who got up and made my lunch.

You kidding me? And made sure I had a quinoa salad and Brussels sprouts instead of my mother giving me $5 so I can take it to Wendy's and buy a beef jerky stick while they work 24 hours a day and ignored me so boo on the catholic church on this one but guess what the catholic church has a mixed record because i'm gonna go thumbs up on obamacare so it looks like they've upheld another challenge to obamacare which is is, I think this is the third.

So, you know, if you do three, you know what I mean? You're good. You know, you're good. Yeah. If you get to three dates with a chick, you know what I mean? And you don't cancel because you got a haircut on that day. I think Drew has three times said, yo, yo, low key. Of course, he says low key and dead ass because he's fucking just graduated.

First of all, we're going to take him to Blue Agave. You got him on quesadilla because he graduated from New Jersey fucking patent school. But there's been three or four times Drew's been like, wait, wait, wait, hold on, dead ass. Yo, low key, what time are we shooting? It's like, yo, dude, I can't. Al's got to cut my hair, dog. I mean, and let me tell you something, Drew. I was a little skeptical.

I was going like, why is Drew making us reschedule because of his hair? And then I see your fucking haircut, and I'm going, yo, Al, shout outs, because the kid is clean and crispy. That is one of the dopest fades I've seen on a white guy in a long time. I'm about to fucking buy your mixtape, but you don't even have one. Either that because the army is going to draft you because that is a tight fucking colonel fade you're gonna get mad pussy son and trans penis if you prefer with that with that fucking fake and it's a week old it's a week old too y'all hurt um so they upheld obamacare that That's three, three times. So I think at this point we can say Obamacare has become kind of the law of the land. And the irony of it is, um, it's been,

it's grown in popularity. I think a lot of people on the right, it's like their closet cases. Like, you know how a lot of people are in the closet with their sexuality. Um, I think a lot of Republicans are in the closet with liking their Obamacare you know what i'm saying because they get cheap insurance for the first time they can get that fucking first health plus or whatever i got obamacare okay now you don't go you don't obamacare doesn't take you to the fifth avenue doctor okay okay your doctor may be a child or a 95-year-old man, but he does have a medical degree hanging on his wall. And let's be honest, most of medical care is placebo anyway. Because you're going to die when you're going to die.

Jesse Scatoro hasn't been to the doctor in 40 years. But you know what? He eats fucking granola and salad and kale, and he sculpts, and the kid's in good shape, and he walks. So that's a good thing. So Obama here, at this point, I think Obama tweeted his victory and his comments are going to be the fucking,

the trolls going, you motherfucker, just a bunch of dirks. You ruined this goddamn country. I'll be right back in this Twitter feed to tell you how much of a motherfucker you are. But I got to use my Obamacare and go pick up my pregnant lady, Rosie, who works at the door, brother.

We had to go get a, she had to go get an echocardiogram of our baby because Rosie likes to use pills, brother. She likes pills, brother. So please don't give Rosie any pills if you come to the Pink Lagoon, Crock Pit, Flamingo, brother. Don't pay her in pills so you can get in free of charge

because that is hurting my baby. But in the meantime, I will use my Obamacare insurance to cover that exam, that cursory exam, brother. So there are a lot of closeted cases of republicans who like their obamacare hey it's not a perfect system and let's remember it's a mitt romney republican idea from massachusetts obamacare is a republican system right it's like kind of like a forced free market system and that's the thing republicans they're the republicans are just as fucking annoying as the libs to me okay first of first of all, because they're human.

So that's one strike against them. I don't like humans. Secondly, they're fucking always hypocritical. It's like they slammed Obamacare, and then you're like, hey, man, but Obamacare is like a Republican idea. And they're like, fuck you, fairy. You know, they don't even want to listen. It's like, dude, that's from Massachusetts.

Mitt Romney care, right? Initially, it's a Republican idea. It's a free market idea. It's basically a regulated free market idea in a lot of ways, but it's a right wing idea. The Republicans came up with that shit. A Republican came up with that shit. And then now, here's a good one that I like. Here's another example of this hypocrisy. I think his name is republican andrew clyde not andrew malik andrew clyde i think andrew malik's uh terms over and congressman of fucking jersey city so republican andrew clyde uh refused to shake hands with uh michael finone which if you don't watch the clip i don't think anyone would pronounce that spelling Fanone.

I think it's Fanone or Fanuki, depending on what your opinion is on what he did at the Capitol riots, because he was a Capitol Hill police officer, Mr. Michael Fanuk. So if you're watching, let's say you were watching, what's some right-wing comedy show right now? They'd probably call him Michael Finucchi. Okay? But I'm going to call him by his Italian name, Michael Finone.

Okay? Michael Finone cares about his mother. All right? And he does discipline his wife with his fucking garlics, not too thin. Okay? And more than once has he gone to his grandmother's house and sat down in the living room and heard a squeak. And when he was with a friend, he was like, did you fart?

He said, no, that's my grandmother's plastic on a good sofa. A few times as he slept. A few times as he'd fallen asleep at his mother's house when he got in a fight with his wife. And he drooled onto plastic. And it didn't dry up because it was drool on plastic because he was sleeping on his mother's couch. Michael Fanone. So Michael Fanone was snubbed by Andrew Clyde. Cracker Jack is playing three games at the same time.

Comment roulette. Last man standing. Thinly sliced the garlic in caps. So there's an Italian in the group chat. So he didn't shake his hand. And also there's Republicans who are against giving the cops at the Capitol Hill protest. Again, if you were listening to a right-wing comedy show, they would call it a Capitol Hill protest. And if you were listening to AOC's Instagram feed, she would say, Vietnam War.

And as usual, the truth is somewhere in between. I'd call it a riot. I don't know if i'd call it an insurrection i guess they broke in but when i guess it is an insurrection from peep that's the insurrection you would expect from people who believe that hillary clinton is drinking uh adrenochrome smoothies and and that obama can shapeshift into a rectal i guess that's who you'd expect a guy in horns with a painted face looking like he was at a vikings game so i guess you could call it insurrection by franks and beans uh

q anons or you can call it a riot um and a lot of these republicans who are in the house don't want to issue medal of honors to these capitol hill police which is what you call ironic don't you think aren't don't you guys aren't you guys the blue lives matter crew so are you only in support of blue lives matter when the cops are uh fucking batoning antifa because i'll be honest i'm torn on that one too you know whenever I see a purple-headed kid get a baton to the knee, I'm like, maybe he shouldn't have been pushing that black umbrella onto that officer.

Maybe he should have been spitting in his face. But that's ironic, you know? That seems a little weird. I mean, where are the blue lives matter there? There was even one congressman who was like, remember that woman who got killed at the riot i mean they should have all got killed they broke into the fucking capital you know even if you think even if you're a q anon person you think they were all antifa

because some of them are dressed in black don't you think the cops should have killed them all i mean if you break into the capital you should get sprayed one woman got killed and this guy was like i demand to know who the officer was who killed that guy and be honest if that was a black lives matter riot and some officer killed a woman that congressperson would have said stop resisting so i mean we can all see through this you just got to hear it you got to come to long days to hear, and I know some of you believe what I just made fun of, fuck you too, and I know some of you believe the opposite, what I was making fun of AOC, well then fuck you too, this show should be called fuck you too, come on, they were actors working for Soros all you got to do is look down what is it uh ask and ye shall receive um that goes with uh the lord and the internet ask and you shall receive

you want to create you want a crazy opinion or any opinion that runs the spectrum or runs the gamut just check the internet and ye shall receive uh here's a good one from it.weo says, that pepper spray was Miller Lite. Here's my question. Was that actually a Capitol Hill riot or did Zac Brown Band just plan a concert and then cancel? Because that crowd looked like it would be mad if zach brown bound canceled and they were supposed to play on the steps yeah i mean it did look like extras in a bud light commercial that like

just got overheated and didn't get their pay and they were just a little upset they're like i'm fucking union so that's two that's two that is two for the supreme court back to the supreme court we got sidetracked because it is long days yanni um and the third one is um the supreme court also rejected a lawsuit against nestle this is an interesting one drill okay now that you graduated uh finger painting school officially, you're into the real world. We're going to talk about how the real world works a little bit. Ivory Coast.

Ivory Coast. This story takes us to the Ivory Coast, one of the hottest tourist destinations on the planet. Am I going to the Ivory Coast with my family? Yeah. I mean, I heard they got some of the most lit beaches, and I heard Lindsay Lohan's there fucking dancing like she got burned like a car cigarette lighter.

I heard Lindsay Lohan's only worth $800,000 now. Where did her money go? Besides her dad and plastic surgery and booze and drugs. That's a rhetorical question. Those of you who don't know the Ivory Coast, I'm being sarcastic. The Ivory Coast is not a place where you are gonna go and find, you're not gonna be able to use your Hilton points

in the Ivory Coast. You're not gonna be able to go to the Ivory Coast and just wing it, check Hotel Tonight, and find yourself a sweet three or four star hotel for the night that has a pool. The Ivory Coast is in Africa. And they have farms there, cocoa farms, that Nestle employs contracts out to get chocolate.

Women love chocolate. Does anyone do more harm, Mike, to the continent of Africa than women? Oh, yeah, they're the worst. Every child has bloody hands exactly okay when you hold up a diamond engagement ring instead of saying how many carat it is can why don't you just measure it in reality and say how many african children lost arms for that just go this is for missing arms so chocolate of course you need chocolate i need my fucking chocolate oh my god i'm in a

i'm in a fucking naughty mood i need chocolate so nestle um was sued by some former uh quote unquote slaves okay because nowadays i don't think they call it slavery they just call it work or we kill you or something like that he's go here's the deal is that your family okay do you like them breathing okay well here's the deal you're gonna work for nothing we're gonna rake in huge profits from nestle uh the dictatorship that runs this country is gonna look the other way because they're getting paid off by us and we got a big contract with nestle and nestle's going to pretend like they don't know what the fuck's going on

because why would they it's not in my backyard why do i care about it right um shout out george carlin right he's like yeah you're not in my backyard so these two i think it was two former slaves said hey you know nestle was uh knowingly uh working with this company that knew that they were employing slave labor um and the supreme court said no nestle is not liable this has nothing to do with nestle i'm gonna give this one fuck i'm gonna the human rights child of a human rights lawyer me is gonna give this a thumbs down okay so i'm gonna give the supreme court two thumbs down one thumbs up and i know that's gonna get a lot of people on the right past and i'm sorry but fuck you too um what do you guys think you think they had any inclination let me see if you're doing business with somebody right if you're doing business with somebody like

somebody's like if you're sergio and you're buying coke in atlantic city okay you're gonna meet the dealer on the street right so you may not know that what he's about to give you is baking soda and clorox but that's your addiction taking over your reason because if you're meeting a guy at 4 30 in the morning by a dumpster in atlantic city you know there's probably a 70 chance that it's not pure coke right you know you know there's going to be a good chance that you're going to be going back to the hotel and at least sneezing or at the most dying, right? You know if you're Sergio and you meet that dealer

and you say, hey man, give me your phone number and you're asking for that phone number because you don't trust that it's good because he is a coke dealer on the street in Atlantic City by a dumpster at four in the morning that you have a pretty decent intuitive inclination that this guy may be giving you bad drugs so i'm using that as an analogy for nestle if you are nestle and you choose to work with farmers in the ivory coast okay who say hey you only have to pay us this

for our cocoa and they're going that's pretty low that's a lot lower than what they charge us and let's say Hershey Pennsylvania where there's labor laws and oh I don't know white farm workers but you know what I'm not gonna ask any questions because i like that price and i read a few articles about the ivory coast and i know it's a little choppy over there a little bit of turbulence and when uh when i sent a couple of my guys to go meet you guys over at the factory he said you were executing children and cutting their arms off uh if they were late with the cocoa beans um but i said shut up shut up that's not our business um it's you pretty you have a good idea of what you're getting business right you got a pretty good idea what's going on you're not thinking uh

you're not bragging about it you're not bragging about it to the aoc human rights committee going hey listen you have no business investigating nestle we work with this farm in the ivory coast who's fucking clean as a whistle go check them out okay their fucking farm workers are driving teslas for god's sakes and nestle chocolate is on as is on that nestle chocolate is a stepped on as Atlantic City Coke. It's not a stepped on. And you can give emoji face. Come on, man. There.

Great point. It's whatever I started with words. We got Jesse. People are starting to love that. They actually want it louder. Like, I can't hear it because I bobble so many words. Queuing has no idea about the real Greek homo yanni. Nestle is run by Swiss bankers.

What isn't run by Swiss bankers, really? I mean, if you invade Switzerland, by the way, Switzerland has no fucking army. They're just protected by the richest, most powerful people from all over the world because that's where everyone hides their money is in Switzerland. Swiss meetings in Switzerland

must be the most private, international, peaceful meetings. It's like every oligarch from every country just sitting there smoking cigars, drinking Adrenochrome, and having Swiss waffles, and just laughing and banging prostitutes

from the Ivory Coast. That's the world. That's how the real world works, Drew. Come on, man. Ocasio-Cortez sounds like the name of a cartel from Peru that the DEA has been working with since the early 90s. Fair point, fives. Fair point.

Ocasio-Cortez does sound like a quartel. A quartel. A quartel. It does sound like a quartel. Yanni, fuck Cuomo, take over New York so we could have press conferences and then da se! That's noteworthy, Drew. Ice20 i like his name too uh sergio got

swiss miss in them powder packs from atlantic city that's from our good friend rob's mental playground um i would love to fucking swim around in rob's mental playground for a couple of hours i bet you there's munchkins in there There's mushrooms and trans boys and girls who are just living in bliss on a cloud above Arizona. Rob's mental playground is a fucking wild place. Imagine being in Rob's head. I bet you people who know Rob don't even do drugs. They just smell Rob and get high. Like he's glue. Because, I mean, that kid looks like he's jacked up on life. You ever see his pictures?

And because you're finishing the painting of the hyena in the bathtub for Squeaky Clean, my bonus episodes, patreon.com slash yannilongdays, because the angle that you shot that at, I showed it to Jesse. He's going, what angle is that? And I said, that's a fucking Rob's mental playground. Because your life is Pee Wee Herman's playhouse. Guys, there's only one way to mow down your fumes.

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Fair points. A lot of fair points on Comment Roulette today. Okay, which brings us to Juneteenth. Of course. Our favorite should be holiday over here in long days, and I'm not being facetious why the fuck is june teeth not a holiday okay there's a national chocolate day there's a brother's day there's a best friends day okay where rob gronkowski and tom brady fucking take a picture

and throw it on the gram for likes. Why the fuck is there not a day celebrating the official end of slavery? I think for a country that was founded in individual rights and purporting to be a country that values freedom and a country that has that, the scorn of that original sin on its hands, you would think that would be a little bit more important than, I don't know, fucking Christopher Columbus Day? Some fucking Italian Spaniard who got kicked out of his mother's house? Can you trust an Italian guy whose mom told him,

get out? You can't. He's not a family man at all. The kid is a fucking Italian. He ends up in Spain? And there's a Columbus Day, cuz? I don't like it.

I don't like it one fucking bit. What's another fucking cheap holiday we got that we celebrate? Oh, St. Paddy's Day. St. Paddy's's day a day where chicago dyes its river green girls named megan fucking pull down their pants and piss on the asphalt and i get drunk and punch another guy in the face until until irish guys punch each other in face till both their faces look like fucking pizza or they both look like that fucking off-duty cop

in Boston who fought Kimbo Slice. Because an Irish guy's face in a fight will end up looking like a pizza before you put it in the oven

every single time and they will not go down. So yeah, let's celebrate St. Paddy's Day for Irish people who immigrated here. But, you know, single time and they will not go down so yeah let's celebrate uh saint patty's day uh for irish people who immigrated here but you know if i was black people i'd be pissed i'd be a little angry too cuz you know june teeth is a dope holiday yeah and i'd like to get harriet tubman on a fucking on a fucking 20 okay that would be dope she built the underground railroad that's dope she was doing

what elon musk is trying to do with his circle joint his circle train what is he he's trying to build like tunnels right for traffic there she is harriet tubman on the 20 i like that harriet tubman yeah we shouldn't use that pic, though. I mean, she is a lady, and you shouldn't be thinking, you know who should design that? What are we doing here? You're taking the worst photo. I mean, use your imagination. You don't got to use a real photo.

You don't got to use a real photo of Harriet Tubman. She's a lady. She's not Abe Lincoln. She's not Alexander Hamilton, okay? If you put Jessie or me on a 20,'re gonna be fine we're not gonna be asking to see 20 photos has anyone ever taken a photo does anyone have a girlfriend or a friend that's a girl or have you ever taken a photo of a girl they take the photo and then they immediately look on the phone and they more than likely delete it and say take another one so you're just gonna choose the

photo for harriet tubman and the one that you chose is the day that she decided to dig the tunnel. I mean, she's got fucking soot all over her, cuz. And she's got a do-rag on. That's not her finest day. Come on. If you're going to put Harriet Tubman on the 20, use your imagination. Put the picture that Harriet Tubman would like. Okay? Not the one that you have. First of all, take the do-rag off. Put a picture that Harriet Tubman would like, okay?

Not the one that you have. First of all, take the do-rag off. Put a nice little wig on her, okay? Put a nice little black wig, you know? Go to the wig store. Get yourself that good Indian hair wig and then have Harriet Tubman itching it with a pencil like that.

I have worked with many black women and they itch it like that with a pencil and don't touch it. Have her sleeping like this with her head up. Shout out Martin Lawrence. You so crazy special. Waking up once in a while. Remember when she sleeps like that and wakes up and just goes like that. Yeah.

Black women. Shout out to black women for how much they go through with not being able to itch their head. That's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking hook her up, dog dog here's another one i mean look she's not in a quentin tarantino movie make the bitch look fly put her in a vera wang dress use your imagination she's a woman she's a lady ladies care about their pictures

oh man so it is Pride Month. You guys gonna suck some dick for pride or what are you doing? What are you doing to celebrate pride? I'd be pissed too if I was black people. Like, look.

There's a Pride Month. I support. They get a whole fucking month? Pride? Like, at some point, like, almost everyone accepts gay rights now, which is obviously a good thing. But at some point, can we tell, can we tailor the festivities down to one day? I mean, there's only fucking Christmas is the Michael Jordan holidays.

It's only a day and a half. I mean, do you guys need a whole month to dance naked and can we move that parade to the night time because i want to bring my daughter and cheer and tell her how beautiful gay rights are but i don't want her to see men's asses and i don't know what gay rights have to do with you being naked okay there fucking grandmothers walking around. Just because you like to fuck dudes doesn't mean you need to fuck the dude during the parade. And at some point,

it's got to be just a gay pie parade in one day, right? I mean, you can't just have a whole month forever, dog, where there's rainbow flags everywhere. Although I do think there should be a gay country because I think that country will be lit as fuck. A great place to escape your family, to escape your child rearing children, to escape the trappings of society.

Like, how about like we give greenland because greenland's available right i think somebody's trying to buy that shit why don't we just let rosie o'donnell rosie o'donnell who's the funnest gay who's the funnest gay andy cohen let rosie o'Donnell and Andy Cohen fucking buy it with all their money. And it just becomes, the rainbow flag is the country. So finally, gays have a country. Like Jews have Israel, gays have gay land.

And you go to gay land, it is fucking lit. When you get on gay land airlines, it's fucking lit, dog. Okay? Okay? Madonna's in the aisle. is fucking lit when you get on gay land airlines it's fucking lit dog okay okay madonna's madonna's in the aisle life is a mister with her scream mask face everyone must stand alone and then there's just gay guys just voguing like all her backup dancers then of course there's a horrible horrible horrible horrible horrible level of talent show. Because I don't know if you've ever performed on Fire Island like I have.

But gay entertainment is the fucking worst. It's guys lip singing. It's a fucking lip singing show. They're not even singing their own songs. The most impressive thing is that that guy makes me want to have him blow me. That's the most impressive thing about a drag show is i'm going i'm fooled and then he goes out there and he sings he sings um aretha franklin song you're going guy that's not your song the most impressive thing is seeing a six foot four guy look like a really hot girl doing a split.

That's what I'll give you. But gays are not into, like, talent, right? They like Madonna. Is she the most talented? No. Who else do they like? Big gay icons. RuPaul.

RuPaul. You know. But I'm talking about musicians. Who do they like? paul that you know but i'm talking about musicians who do they like it's four straight guys trying to figure out what goes on what goes on on fire island we don't know we're like uh depeche mode uh paul abdul paul abdul probably because she's like not a great singer they always love people who are fabulous and good performers but not like very talented vocalists you know what i'm saying that's what i mean by it um fuck yeah they love gaga i

guess but i think gaga makes it more than it is she tries she imitated and replicated madonna so much she's always like my gays out there i think think the gays are like, girl, we're not fucking into you. You can sing too good, okay? And look, we're into Madonna. She's a whore. We fucking love that because it's hilarious. And you just look like a girl named Camille from Long Island.

Because have you ever seen, Jesse, have you ever seen Lady Gaga without her makeup? I don't have a mic, but. Yeah. Lady Gaga without her makeup i don't have a mic dude yeah lady gaga without her makeup is the most unrecognizable celebrity you've ever seen lady gaga without her makeup or any outfit on could walk anywhere and there's some cuisine guy going like is that camille i think i finger popped that girl a fucking edward all morrow without her makeup she looked like she worked

at wendy's or she looked worked at wendy's yeah but she's definitely a new york staten island long island italian girl and and shout outs to her for not uh kardashian in her nose she's got the fuck she's got a true like roman coin profile beak on her i mean her profile fucking looks like a coin. She looks like Caesar. Her nose is Caesar's. She's got Constantine's nose. I bet you she's got little fumes. Right? That just comes with the sauce, right? The acidity in the sauce. Italian girls. You're Italian, Jess. It comes a little acidity. there's a little fumes there greeks too i think it's the yogurt see i think it's only japanese and norwegian who come fumeless because it's like just raw fish and like you know stuff like that german germ got to have fumes. No, because it's just meat and applesauce.

Sourcrows. It's got to come with a little fumes. So, yeah, there she goes. Look at her, Camille. I mean, do Lady Gaga with no makeup. Just do a quick one. Quick Lady Gaga with no makeup. And you watching this show right now, go ahead and pause it. I mean, come on, cuz.

I mean, that's a girl. Look at at her that's a girl's instagram profile she went to bishop ford and she dated nigel husey and didn't tell her father that was an inside joke from you jesse i mean that looks like a couple of girls you know what's her name stephanie i think she yeah stephanie defronti what's her last name she looks like a girl who would fucking date drew for a little while and be like true i love your fucking hair true i love your fucking hair drew are you gonna be a firefighter like your father it's like no baby here's the deal daddy likes finger painting what's your name look how stephanie spelled too oh my god yo this is fucking sauce monkey overload here her real name is stephanie joanne angelina germinale holy shit holy fucking shit holy mackerel cuz you say that name fucking zeppelis and appear you say that name it's like saying like you know when you say the

the leprechaun's name you say that name fucking yuckychi appears how good is gnocchi uh megan rapani is a more handsome megan rapani is more handsome than gaga who's megan rapani oh she's the um she's the she's the handsome fella on the female soccer yeah i get yeah i said she's the she's the handsome fella on the female soccer team yeah this dude i mean wouldn't she find that as a compliment though would that be rude for me to say what's up guy i mean that's what she's going for right i mean let's be honest i mean she looks like trans joe biden so she does look really like trans joe biden but no matter which way you slice it i mean that picture right there she looks like a guy she looks like a guy she looks like drew when he was 16

oh man somebody said watch your fucking language mrs pappas is in the chat lady gaga will come see you in a different way um speaking of coming to see people in a different way somebody Ice Water for 20 wants me to know that Giseline Maxwell has a banging body cuz and Vice Rocks wants me to know that he's got a leaning tower of pizza that's an honorable mention speaking of this is a real good one

you guys are going gonna love this one brother can we pull up this story because this one's one of my favorite from one of my favorite states america's penis florida brother a lady running from congress decided to threaten one of her competitors in the primary with being disappeared by her Russian-Ukrainian gangster connections. So here is a great story that you would only expect coming out of what can only be described as America's drug problem, Florida. Florida is the gift that never stops giving. And we like to call this segment here on Long Days with Yanni, What the Florida?

In a secret recording, Florida Republican threatens to send Russian-Ukrainian hit squad after her rival. And she's a fucking piece on top of it. Read that. I really don't, she said, in a Florida accent, she's like, I really don't want to

have to end anybody's life for good of the people of the United States of America. But if needs be done, it needs to be done. No, William Braddock. Okay, that wasn't her.

That was the guy, I think, that was speaking on her behalf, right? Whatever whatever the case may be this bitch threatened to off somebody um uh it was a 30-minute call with a conservative advocate activist that was recorded before he became a candidate oh william braddock repeat oh it was him yeah i apologize i fucking misgendered i misgendered my bad my bad it was actually william braddock yeah i thought that was even wilder than there would be a woman threatening that i'd be like that you know what that would have made her tanya harding hot that would have made her there's a category tanya harding hot like a amy fisher who blew that bitch's face off

remember amy fisher hot a bad there's a market for bad bitches too it's not only stupid girls like Amy Fisher who blew that bitch's face off. Remember Amy Fisher hot? There's a market for bad bitches too. It's not only stupid girls that want to marry Richard Ramirez. We all want to fuck Tanya Harding too. The difference between men and women is, and I would say we're more moral in this sense, is that we don't want to marry Tanya Harding. We want to hate fuck her, pull her hair,

hit her with a baton in the knees, and cum on her face. You guys want to marry the Night Stalk stalker what the fuck is wrong with you okay you want to dance with the possibility that he might bite your tit off so william braddock warned the activists to not support gop candidate anna paulina luna in the primary uh for a tampa of course, Tampa, of course, home of the stripper. Tampa Bay congressional seat because he has access to assassins. I don't know why this is news.

It's Florida. I think it would be news if he didn't threaten his rival, if he didn't threaten the rival with assassination by russian assassins that's more of a story in florida right this would be a story if it was in like a sane place you know what i mean but florida you're going like yeah of course i mean that's how the politics works down there they threaten to kill each other with russian assassins they're not using american assassins yeah i mean here and here's another fucking hypocrisy russia uh conservatives you're fucking outsourcing for assassinations

what we don't have any good american homegrown usd approved you you gotta fucking go to russia you're sending jobs abroad to kill political rivals and then you yell about china that is the chinaization of assassinization unbelievable good point mikey appreciate appreciate uh emoji face uh triller dude triller is killing it right now okay killing. Killing it. Obviously with the Jake Paul fight we know about. And now Joe Biden and Vladimir Putin. It was a fucking Triller promoted this fight. And much like Triller's fights, it was a fucking dud. Came back with a draw.

Split decision where Vladimir Putin, the most popular democratically elected prime minister or president in the world's history, besides Saddam Hussein, those two guys have won by margins of 95 plus each time they've run with no term limits. The people love them so much, the people have insisted that there's no term limits to their

reign to their time in office so they just came back and issued a joint statement holding hands oh this was so disappointing you know this was like when Jay Leno and David Letterman did that commercial together you're like it just was more fun when you guys hated each other. Like we don't need to see that commercial. We don't need Jay Leno and David Letterman to get, to get along. We know you guys hate each other. I mean, you know, they just, and they just played the hits. They just played the fucking hits. Okay. They just go, Hey, you know, despite our differences, we both understand that we shouldn't go to nuclear war and we're both committed to some new thing where we're going to stop nuclear proliferation um because a nuclear war cannot be won and that's the only reason we're not beating the shit out of each other

is because we don't want to die too um but we already know that because we've said that for fucking 40 years straight but the thing we're not saying is we are going to continue to use proxy powers to war with each other and we're going to continue to arm tyrants all over the world and fight through smaller countries where we murder innocent uh civilians in those countries and destabilize those regions because we hate each other american russia are like two fucking basic bitches who fucking just keep fighting and ruin everyone's fucking good time. It's like, is that bitch going to be there? Is that bitch going to be there? And then they just fucking give each other bad energy so neither of the groups of friends that they're with who are actually mutually friends with each other can fucking have a good time.

Because Russia's like, if you talk to that bitch, get out of my circle. And America's like, if you talk to that bitch, get out of my circle. And America's like, if you talk to that bitch, get out of my circle. So all these girlfriends, all these beta bitch basic girlfriends who want to talk with each other won't because they're scared of their fucking alpha basic bitch leader, Russia and America. And they just fucking hang out in separate parts of the party and kill the whole fucking vibe. And nobody gets any pussy because everyone is consumed with this fucking hate between these two alpha fucking...

God, I feel like Ilhan Omar. I just put down my own country. It's a false equivalency. I apologize. I'm apologizing right now for my lack of patriotism there is one russia and there's one fucking yas queen and that's us and i side with those bitches who are with that yas queen who are loyal to her and don't want to talk to their own friends in the other side of the aisle who are friends with putin because they're fucking loyal to fucking your yas queen so fuck y'all i'm just

gonna say fuck y'all fuck y'all the absurdity uh of putin's lies should be obvious thanks to trump isn't it i mean the media is really trying to throw that name in there, whatever they can. It isn't. It sells tickets. The kid moves tickets. Okay, say what you want about how you feel about Trump. The kid sells tickets, okay? It's like you can hate on Carrick Top all you want.

The kid moves major tickets in Vegas. Major fucking tickets. So that fight was a dud. Split decision. Came back a draw. You know, there'll be opinion pieces up the ass about whether Biden was hard enough on on him not hard enough on him um here's the deal putin's just tougher in person probably um obama was the only kid who kind of gave him true attitude i felt the whole way through right um but yo obama knows uh karate right there's obama i know uh putin knows jujitsu right and he rides on fucking horses without a shirt on he could fight he could fight he likes to yeah i mean dude you just don't fuck with the russians you don't fuck with the russians i mean look at vladimir putin he's got his eyes

are closer together than me he's got he's got close together eyes which was why we're both tyrants look at joe biden he looks like he's wearing a sesame street puppet head doesn't his head look like a puppet head looks like it's put on yeah he looks like a muppet a little bit and he's meeting putin putin's a smaller guy um but you know he gripped that shit hard do you you think he said in Russian, like, what's up, Gramps? Or do you think he said, come on, man! So nothing gets solved. Nothing gets solved.

Jon Stewart was on Colbert. There's the picture of the summit. He looks like he's sleeping. Yeah, I mean, they're still socially distancing. Like, that's funny. Yeah, it's really like, come on, guys. Just sit next to each other. Or maybe they just, like, use it as an excuse

because they hated each other that they can just say, we're socially distancing, but really they want to. You know Putin smells like vodka, dog. There's no way that kid doesn't hit it. Russian kids love vodka. That's their thing. Biden has a professional MMA fight coming up. Biden gives off Hufflepuff energy.

Joe Biden, the first elected animatronic prez. Bring Ku Klux Klan on the show. Obama just sang from the rooftops of a Middle Eastern wasteland. It's time to pray, muzzies. So you look down, you get all walks of life watching my show. Dade Cash says, Putin smells like sawdust and gasoline.

Yanni looking extra cute, but also extra Franks like Robert Downey syndrome. Harris versus Putin camel toe versus bare knuckles bra. So there you go. Here's the fun story I wanted to get to before we move on to our fun, fun, fun closing. I watched a documentary two nights ago about Erika Jayne. Have you guys heard about this story? Erika Jayne is a real housewife now real

housewife it uh is responsible for killing more brain cells in women than vodka sodas okay it is just awful entertainment and they uh they watch it like the Manchurian candidate. They just, a gloss comes over their face and they just watch this absolute, utter horseshit. And then they blame us, which is what I love. I love women blame us. We're judging women. We're sexualizing them. Men haven't asked you guys to do a goddamn thing.

You guys do it all on your fucking own, okay? Because Us Weekly is not read by men. Do you guys know one man who has ever purchased an Us Weekly? Do you know one man who's ever purchased the Cosmopolitan where women are airbrushed and all that bullshit that they complain about? Do you know one man who gives a flying fuck about a woman's flaws that near to be airbrushed? No. Men fucks.

Just to quote Patrice O'Neill, which I love. If a woman's... men have conversations like this hey man if a bitch didn't have a nose would you fuck her and it usually goes yeah you guys do this to each other because you're competitive for men this is evolutionary theory there's not a lot of good dudes you guys are all going for the alpha guy. This used to be common sense before the woke era where it's like, huh, why does Derek Jeter have a level of pussy named after him? Why do they call it Derek Jeter level pussy?

Why does he fuck the most beautiful women and so many of them and they don't seem to mind that he moves on to another one and they don't seem to mind that he leaves them with a classy little fruit basket in the morning with a note that says, get the fuck out of my house and sign this NDA. And they don't seem to mind because they got to spend the night with fucking Derek Jeter in his fucking white planes penthouse. Why don't they seem to matter? It's because they're all trying to fuck Derek Jeter. They're not all looking. They're not going, you know what? I watched a notebook and I'm just looking for a guy who's going to free me. I want to find my Leonardo DiCaprio from Titanic who's going to rescue me, rescue me from the pangs of aristocracy yeah yeah if that's what if that's how women were fucking zales would be out of business tomorrow if all the women were like kate winslet and titanic or adam anslel in the notebook whatever her fucking name is amy adams

okay who cares she's 40 now Or Adam Anslel in The Notebook? Whatever her fucking name is, Amy Adams? Okay, who cares? She's 40 now. You think when 40, 40 is like 40 for a woman in Hollywood. Just start your own podcast. Start a podcast, dog. If you want to rebel against the evilness of Hollywood and how they don't make you work,

they don't work you after 40, start a podcast like Anna Faris. That bitch has got a popular podcast. She's over 40, still bangable. You know what I mean? It's Hollywood that did that. Not men. Men in Hollywood. Evil ones.

But you can't malign a whole sex because of what a couple of dudes who drink adrenochrome do. whole sex because of what a couple of dudes who drink adrenochrome do they're the ones who fucking throw you out throw you out with the garbage when you're 40 they fucking really when 40 comes around they go they go hey honey take the garbage out it's garbage day they fucking walk you down the driveway to the curb, and say, thank you very much for your service, Amy Adams, but we are done with you. You may one day be able to play Will Smith's daughter's mom with a black husband.

Sorry, I'm itching my nose because I do coke. I don't do coke, which is weird because I itch my nose again. So, Erica Jane, coke i don't do coke which is i's weird because i itch my nose again um so erica jane is beloved okay even my wife goes don't be too hard on her i love her and i said before i watch a documentary i go why do you love her and this is what my wife said a very intelligent woman college educated her father is a doctor, okay? She says what's on her mind. She says what's on her mind.

She's just kind of real. If there's a such thing as a fucking oxymoron on television, it's calling someone on The Real Housewives real. The only bitch who was ever real on The Real Housewives was Angie. And that's because she had throat cancer and she sold sauce at the third avenue festival in bay ridge right before she died the died two months later i saw her on third avenue at the fair of bay ridge selling her sauce okay and she talked like miley cyrus hey how how's it going? My name's Angie. I'll fuck you up. She was a girl who would make you suck her dick. Fucking, there's only one all-star from the Real Housewives,

and that's Real Housewives New Jersey, Angie. Look at that bitch. That's Mob Wives. Yeah, Mob Wives. Whatever, same fucking thing. Yeah, look at Angie. Look at the liposuction in her face. And the irony of that is you you know, in Angie household,

she said a few things about black people. You know, Angie's house was not the most woke when it came to cultural, cross-cultural experiences. And then look at what Angie herself did to her lips. She made them fuller. That's the funny thing about racist people is like that is true and i've heard that many times it's like the most racist people kind of envy black people the most do you remember jesse remember we were growing up like italian kids who hated black people

would wear starter jackets and draw designs in their head and be like get out of my fucking neighborhood because my you know i got a fucking kwame design right here they would say get out of my neighborhood uh uh to to an nwa song you say you can't date my sister because you're black and he'd be listening to nwa in a car with designs in his head and face nobody dressed more like black kids than italian kids and nobody was more racist against black kids and italian kids when i was growing up which is hilarious and you know fucking angie threw a couple of m-bombs around her fucking staten island living room and then she went she got a fuller face she looks like precious look at those fake bombs. So Angie, not surprisingly, can we just pull up her voice for a second?

Not surprisingly, I think, died from cigarette cancer. Yeah. Yeah, and when you hear her voice, you'll see why. Okay? She sounds... Who's the lead singer from Pearl Jam? Jesus Christ. Eddie Vedder.

She sounds like Eddie Vedder. She sounds like Eddie Vedder grew up in Howard Beach. She sounds like Eddie. We don't want to watch a commercial, Drew. I know. We're making content, cuz. Let's hear her. And I'm looking forward to meeting another one.

You think she had a few fucking Slim Jims? Where's that thing my friend? We're out partying with the guys like we were 21. Man, I'm up here. Okay. God, Angel. Okay, so that's Big Ang. You think she's had a few Virginia Slims in her day?

She laughs like Joey Diaz. She laughs like Joey Diaz. She sounds like Joey Diaz, and she looks like Joey Diaz. She's called the triple threat. You can picture her waking up. You can picture her in the morning on her gram going, Good morning, cocksucker. It's a good day to sling some deck.

It's Angie. So I actually saw Angie in Bay Ridge. Me and my wife used to go to the Third Avenue Fair every year. And Angie, big Angie, was selling her sauce in front of Leo's Calamari. And then she died three. That's a girl dedicated to the grind. She probably was in cancer treatment, but that bitch was going to sling some jars of fucking sauce. So she sold sauce. So she's the only goat let's be honest she's the goat of the housewives crew everyone fucking if you're not into big ang big ang was

real okay because big ang knows where a couple of bodies are buried in the canal and uh big ang looks like she's handled some fucking mob business herself. But Erica Jade. Erica Jade. Erica Jade. So this bitch. Okay, now here's the big controversy. Did Erica Jade know? Did she know about her very famous lawyer husband, Tom Girardi's stealing of money from his clients. This is a

big deal. I just recently found out that Erica Jane's lawyers have refused to represent her. Not a good sign. As Tim Dillon would say, not good. so let me tell you what the story is erica jane who's a how do you call it gold digging whore as most of the housewives are why don't they just change that show name to i'm a gold digging whore uh who lives off of a man's money. And my wife's probably, that's not true. Did you see Samantha from season seven Atlanta? She's got a fucking cosmetic line. And Erika Jayne was a boss bitch. So Erika Jayne, who's beloved by the gay community

because she's a horrible singer, decided to become a singer. I mean, we'll put one of her songs up in a second, but she decided to become a pop star recently mean, we'll put one of her songs up in a second, but she decided to become a pop star recently. Who the fuck knows why? She needs more attention. First of all, she's married. This is his third, Tom Giardi's third fucking wife.

She's about 40 years younger than him. The guy looks like fucking... Come on, man. Come on, man fucking Don Rickles. The guy looks like Don Rickles. Okay, and look at this. I mean, she can't be a day over fucking 35, and she's married to a guy who's like 80. He's probably at one point was worth 80, $100 million.

Now, supposedly what Tom Girardi does, he was a very powerful lawyer in Los Angeles, California, who had a law firm that did some very high profile cases that you might've heard about, one of which being Aaron Brockovich. He's portrayed in the movie Aaron Brockovich. He represented Aaron Brockovich. He got clients' money who were wronged by big companies, people who were burned from gasoline pipes, shit like that, he did a lot of good, got a lot of people money, he was a do-gooder, an angel, and he was a beast, and very powerful, big in politics, you had to really get in with Tom Jardy, even judges would bow to him, and so he married this gold-digging whore who had a good slice of puss puss. And she

decided, you know what, Tom, I want to become a pop singer. Yeah, she's just some whore from Florida. Let's be honest. Where is she from? She did nothing in her fucking life except spend his money. And when you see the grossness of the Real Housewives episodes or the interview she does where she's touring people around their fucking mansion where she has like a whole rooms full of fucking shoes. And she's wearing all these diamonds and they have this massive estate somewhere in the Adrena Chrome Hills of Hollywood. And she's showing it off. It makes it even worse to know that the money this motherfucker was stealing from these poor clients that he was handling because he handles it. That's what a lawyer does. Handles the settlement money and then doles it out for his clients.

This motherfucker was stealing it. And then when the clients were calling going, hey, I have a doctor's appointment. I need some of that money. He was going, are you mad at me? Are you mad at me? Here's what happened. I can't. The thing is you're a young man of 16 and

and he was referencing some judge who had nothing to do with anything it was like what justice thomas says is that you know we don't we see so many young men spend this on sneakers and we don't want to give you the money out of the trust so you'll spend it on sneakers so i'm just gonna hold it for another forever because my wife is using it for her career to be a singer. So gay people can show up and go Yas Queen, Yas, Yas Queen, Yas, Yas Queen, Yas Queen. Her songs were expensive to be me, it's expensive to be me. No, it's easy to be you because you're a fucking gold digging whore. You're a fucking criminal gold digging whore and we know you knew about it. We know you knew about it we know you knew

about tom girardi stealing all those people's money you gold digging fucking whore there's kids in the hallway she's a 49 who starts a career at 49 a gold digging whore who's not satisfied with private planes, diamonds, and jewels. I'm sorry, Drew. Can you get me that plate? I apologize. I didn't mean to throw it at you. I meant to throw it at the camera.

She's from Atlanta. But you know what? If that thing would have touched your hair, I think it would have stopped like a force field. Like the plate would have just stopped and your hair would have said, back the fuck up, cuz. It would have floated. I think your hair would have said to the plate, back the fuck up, cuz.

She's a gold digging whore is what my point is. So Tom Giardi, Tom Giardi's been caught. He's been caught stealing millions and millions and millions of dollars from the trust he was supposed to be managing for his clients who won settlements against unscrupulous corporations or unscrupulous accidents etc and the majority of this money was traced to her entertainment company that was backing her career so he was backing her dumb pop career why because he's an old fuck and she's got good puss. So whenever fucking women talk about how

the patriarchy, you understand that men do whatever they do for puss puss. If you don't give us the puss puss or if you don't let these gold digging whores get the rich dick, there will be no problems. There would be no problems.

If women got together and said, unify these pussies, okay, from now on, there will be no gold digging whores. We will have a unionized pussy and any gold digging whore, scab, picket line crossing whore tries to pass our union. We will beat that scab pussy with baseball bats if there was a pussy union that prevented gold digging whores from getting into business like her there would be no problem my wife told me to go easy on her which made me go extra hard on her this documentary pissed me off because this guy's robbing money from his victims and people are gonna go why are you blaming her that's the misogynist thing. Come on, man.

You telling me she didn't know about it? They were in coots. Fuck him too. He's obviously the number one fucking piece of shit in this. Obviously. Okay, I should have made that clear. Tom Girardi, fuck you.

Fuck you. You deserve to get put into a fucking hall. I should put you in a fucking hall, you Jew motherfucker. He's not even Jewish. He's Italian. That's from the movie Casino. Remember that? Remember that scene? You're a Jew motherfucker., you Jew motherfucker, yo. He's not even Jewish, he's Italian. That's from the movie Casino. Remember that scene?

You're a Jew motherfucker. If it wasn't for you, every gangster would have a piece of your Jew ass. But he's an Italian kid. But she's to blame a little bit, no? Would you guys blame her a little bit? Do you think she knew about the money? They've been married 20 years.

She probably told them to get more. Do you think, what do you think, Jess? You can just nod or no. I have no idea what's going on. Yeah, that's the safest way to do this. I don't know what this is. You know, when you got to have a hard stance, there's a good chance you could be wrong.

But that doesn't matter. I'm not a reporter. I can malign her character. Sue me. What are you going to take, this fucking junior one bedroom that's turned into a studio? What are you going to take from me?

Now, here's my favorite part. This is the part where we switch to Tom Giardi about how much of a piece of an asshole he is. So this is my favorite. You're going to like this, Jess. Tom Giardi's lawyers are now, they are pleading that he has dementia, Alzheimer's. They're saying he has Alzheimer's. And one former colleague and lawyer on the documentary is going, you know, I watched Tom

Giardi about two months ago give a speech in front of 3,000 people. He didn't seem like he had Alzheimer's to me. Now, here's the deal. My mom had Alzheimer's. I know what the symptoms of Alzheimer's are. When did one of the symptoms of Alzheimer's become stealing millions of dollars to give to your gold-digging wife to have her R&B career take off for the gay community?

I thought Alzheimer's symptoms were wandering and leaving the stove on, but no. Apparently, taking money out of a bank account of your client and giving it to your gold-digging wife is a fucking symptom of Alzheimer's. Who fucking knew? They need to rewrite the desk. They need to rewrite.

Whoever's in control of Wikipedia, please go to Alzheimer's symptoms and say, wandering, confusion, sundowning, stealing hundreds of millions of dollars from your victim clients. A big symptom of Alzheimer's. So I get it. He's going to win, of course.

And here's the deal. You know when you steal millions of dollars, the irony is the sentence is less. You steal a Twix bar out of a bodega, you'll do like a year. You steal $50 million from some kid who has 80% burns all over his body because of some gas pipe explosion,

because of negligence on the gas company. You're going to, what are you going to do? You're going to sit in some country club and people are going to write a book about you and some woman is going to want to marry you. So that's the real world, Drew, that you're entering. This is the real world. It's a real housewife's world, and we're all just living in it.

Now, for our small business shout-outs. Speaking of gold digger whores, you're looking at one right now we we are can you pull up that promo code for uh east side cheesecakes i sent you a screen grab you too mikey one of you guys um so uh first of all welcome um emoji face to uh mike suarez i will be in tampa i will be in san an. Mike Suarez will be with me. The great emoji face will be performing with me. Go to yannispapascomedy.com for those tickets. San Antonio, Tampa. I'll also be in Richmond, Virginia.

I'm going to be at Soul Joel's for one night doing Marisa, doing the character show, probably Panos 2 on July 30th in Royersford, PA. What am I forgetting? Go to my website, januspapascomedy.com. East Side Cheesecakes. You want the flambés? I want the wasababas. 15% off.

15? 15. 15%. East Side Cheesecakes is not national yet because of shipping prices, but they're getting together and will be soon. But if you're in the Los Angeles area, or I guess maybe in California, whatever it is, go to their website, follow them. Eastside Cheesecakes on the gram.

Eastside Cheesecakes website, eastsidecheesecakes.com because it is absolute dessert porn. They just made that key lime pie cheesecake for me. Go look at those pictures. They're insane. They're sending it. They're sending it to us and they know they got to send it to us on a date. We're going to shoot. We're going to eat it on the show. They're sending it to our PO box, which is just Jesse's house. Yeah, you can get that Jesse. So it will be coming support Julia and Greg,reg man i mean these are two to a couple that uh people who couples who make cheesecakes together stay together

and their cheesecakes are incredible dude and they started this during the pandemic so this was born out of the pandemic just like my daughter and uh i can't wait to try this cheesecake so uh go to eastsidecheesecakes.com order their cheesecakescakes. They're delicious. They're fucking hand and homemade. They make their own cream cheese. They do not fuck around. Just go look at the gram and you'll see for yourself. It's incredible. And with the promo code longdays,

put it in 15% off your cheesecakes. We're brought to you by Blue Agave on 3rd Avenue where we're going to go have Drew's fucking graduation party. Get him some quesadillas. I got hit up by three fans who have gone to Blue Agave. One guy goes, yo, cuz, what's your drink when you go to Blue Agave? I said mojito. He goes, yeah, that's what I got.

So Blue Agave on 3rd Avenue owned by the great Joseph DeMonte. All one word, Blue Agave on Instagram. Go check it out. Go visit Bay Ridge. Walk around. It's a beautiful neighborhood. All one word, Blue Agave on Instagram. Go check it out. Go visit Bay Ridge. Walk around. It's a beautiful neighborhood. And then go to Blue Agave, an amazing fucking Mexican restaurant. The food is really good. Then we're brought to you, of course, a big shout out to exclusiveautoshipping.com. If you're moving anywhere and you got to move your car anywhere, you got they need to be moved okay you got a peg leg with a wheel on it call this fucking guy uh jared z he's he's a fucking cute jewish kid and he's fucking screwed in and i think this is a big company again so hats off to

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I'll repost it. Robzmentalplayground. Of course, we're brought to you by the good guy himself. Max, Mr. Good Guy Long, guys. Kid's got a nice little fucking sweet house that he showed me on his video in palm springs he's got a he's got a nice pool and he's got a better truck where he works out of so if you have any problem with your refrigerator and you're in seattle or palm springs you call a good guy not a bad guy call good guys refrigeration uh check them out good guys refrigeration.com check them out

on the gram good guys refrigeration max mr good guy long we love you dog and a special special glue gun shout out glue gunner this is a special business baby we're talking about Mike Milanov, who is otherwise known as Dimitar, my glue gun is bigger than Yanni, the Bulgarian stallion, wasting money equal to five small business sponsors. Bulgaria is better than Greece, Milanov. Shout out to the Bulgarians out there. I guess this kid's a Bulgarian or he loves Bulgaria. Maybe he went to Bulgaria and he fell in love with a prostitute. And he said, you know what? Let me shout out this nation because they got good puss puss. I don't know your story, but Mike Milanov is a cute kid. You have to follow him on the gram. He's a wild boy. Go follow him now. Do it for the long haul nation. Go to Thix Nation. That's his Instagram. That is T-H-I-X Nation. go to fix nation that's his instagram that is t-h-i-x nation all

one word that's his instagram go check him out follow him and dm him and tell him he's wild or say whatever you want to him about bulgaria thank you mike milanov now for the patreon names everybody you know the deal go to patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Become a long hauler. Get the bonus episode every week of Squeaky Clean. And also, guess what we just added? We're a little bit of a network now. So we just added a very big get.

Marisa, the Rigorous Podcast is back. All new Rigorous Podcast with Marisa and her co-host Sergio, whenever he's around, will be now available for the $5 members. Yeah. So you get Squeaky Clean and Rigorous Podcasts at the lowest tier. And then, of course, you get the additional video content at the high it is go enjoy go over there go to the discord the yanni long days discord talk to the fans have fun we have a blast over there patreon.com slash yanni long days join come on be an active fan

now for our patreon names when you sign up you get your name read no matter what tier you join. So, welcome to the Long Haul Gang, our new long haulers, Brandon, Ben Hartman, Michael Squire, Mark Palmieri. Then we got Tickling My Prostate Land is my brand, but make no mistake. I leave no trace on a monogaloid's face. Monogloid. I think, did he spell, is that how you spell monogloid? I think he went with mongoloid.

Mongoloid. Mongoloid. He did. I just read it wrong because I'm fucking Franks. So tickling my prostate gland is my brand. That would have been a winner there. You would have won. Nobody's beaten this.

You would have won. This is how good this is. Usually the long ones, I always go, ah, you should have stopped. But this was good there and then got better. Tickling my prostate gland is my brand. Home run. But make no mistake, I leave no trace on a Mongloid's face. So that's a double winner.

Then we got Alex Jenis, Dunloy94, Kevin Black, Elizabeth Reuter. She's the news organization. Garrett Wright, Michael Vandenberg, Curtis Staughtonton Logan Longballs

Major chicken figure Logan Longballs Then we got Tim McGrath Then we got Yanni Longdays Makes my day I want to come No No you're not getting the rest of that red you fuck

Gabrielle Owens I want to come. No. No, you're not getting the rest of that red, you fuck. Gabrielle Owens, Stephen Greiger, Brandon, Pablo, Chris DeStef. Yes, lie TV. The Busted Nuts in butts, Serbian toot with Dobro fumes. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro., Serbian Toot with Dobro Fumes. Dobro. Dobro. Dobro. Caco say.

Right. The Busted Nuts in Butts, Serbian Toot with Dobro Fumes, but may start another world war. It was a good try, dog. You just had to work that out. You had to work that one out. The Busted Nuts in Butts is good. Serbian Toot with dobro fumes but may start another world war that was almost there father bill fed me a pill and when i came to i was coated in glue home run home run amanda haught eric ghoul oh my god leonardo

Oh, my God. Leonardo DiCacchio. Another Hall of Famer. Wow. You may be the front runner now. I think you won. Lacey Bradley. Peace, Lacey.

Peace. Peace. Then we got Hold holden manly suvlaki jockey playing tonsil hockey with maurice's cocky that's number one all time i think that's number one all time suvlaki jockey playing tonsil hockey with Maurice's cocky. I think that's number one of all time. I think including hyenas, that's number one of all time. First of all, it's another one where Suvlaki Jockey would have been funny. But playing tonsil hockey with Maurice's cocky?

Because you're number one. You're the winner maybe all time. And you're the goat now all time and you're you're the goat now people got to chase you then we got donnie t in kamala's pantsuit god this list is turning out to be they're starting to pick up yeah these names are starting to pick up then we got mike d welcome from the beastie boys um then we got michael then we got nuke this shithole already please very funny then we got michael torrado uh alexis alexis ramos gonzalez allison uh matt d cosgrove welcome back because i recognize you. Cynthia Maj, Kenneth Baldado, Trisha K.

Peace. And Michelle Padham. Peace. So welcome, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Tell your friends about Long Days. And also, thank you for becoming a Long Hauler. We'll see you next week.