Yannis Pappas Hour - AOC Says Bye Squad & Yanni Pods Lefty

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

AOC is the Beyoncé of the Squad, and just like Destiny's Child got dusted, AOC dusts the Squad for mainstream Democrat stardom. Bob Menendez resigns in New Jersey, so there’s a senate seat open, AOC! Time for you to go full Hillary and move to Jersey, girl! Take that seat, girl! Yanni goes full pro-choice and left-wing on this one to attract left-wing comedy fans because the right-wing comedy market is cornered! Come hang with Yanni & Jesse for their weekly, more timeless, bonus episodes here and support the production of this show:  https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator See Yanni live on the road St Louis Sept 5-7 , Dania Beach Sept 13-15 , Tacoma Sept 19-21 , Vegas Sept 27-29 , West Nyack, NY Oct 11-13,  Brea Oct 25-27,  Milwaukee Dec 5-7,  Austin Dec 20-22 Tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/shows

Man, did I enjoy this episode. Before we get into it, here's my live dates for people who want to see me do stand up. I'll be in St. Louis September 5th through the 7th, Dania Beach, Florida September 13th through the 15th, Tacoma, Washington September 19th through the 21st, Las Vegas at Skankfest September 27th through the 29th, West Nyack, New York October 11th through the 13th, Brea, California October 25th through the 27th, and Milwaukee in the Milwaukee Improv December 5th through the 7th tickets at Yanis Papas comedy.com. Go support us and join the Fetaverse and access our weekly bonus episodes for a more casual timeless hang at Yanis

Papas I'm sorry at patreon.com slash Yanis Papas hour now enjoy this amazing episode Patreon.com slash Yanis Papasour. Now enjoy this amazing episode. Welcome to the Yanis Papasour where problems meet solutions and nothing gets solved where we give you yesterday's news today so you can have a brighter tomorrow. But the future is here. Ladies, take back your reproductive rights. The DNC was ablaze this week with chants of thank you, Joe. Thank you, Joe.

And guess what? AOC making her first democratic mainstream appearance. making her first Democratic mainstream appearance. It's time to become a star young lady. No more Destiny's Child for you. It is time for you to be the Beyonce you were meant to be and leave the backup dancers behind. The squad is a thing of yesteryear as AOC goes solo while Nancy Pelosi sits in the audience, giving her slow clap to her good girl. Good girl, good girl. Good girl. Good girl.

I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait to get this platform so we can talk about Gaza, we can talk about all types of things, we can talk about working families, we can talk about minorities' rights in my communities in the Bronx. And shh, shh.

She went like this on her mouth. Nancy Pelosi went shh. She went like that, shh. She squished her mouth like shh She goes You're gonna give a good old General old school Boomer Democrat speech

Where are you gonna talk about? Kamala you're gonna talk about Tim. You're gonna talk about future Donald Trump he's bad. You're gonna talk about future Donald Trump. He's bad We're good future women Things like this working class When you say Ceasefire you must add and Bring the hostages home.

Do you understand? Wait, let me go. I gotta go check with, I gotta go check with the squad. Shh. There is no more squad Beyonce. You remember what happened when you endorsed Bowman and you lost? There's no future there.

Come join the dark side. Welcome to career. Politician life, my friend AOC. You can see the young revolutionary in her eyes just dying as she stares out into the audience in Chicago as a dead eyed, a dead eyed them baby. Welcome to the real squad. Welcome to the Yankees, where we got rules around here.

No facial hair, no skirts above the knee and welcome to your late night meetings with our Wall Street friends because your progressive agenda is over. We got a lot to get to, but I want to dedicate it to beginning, to the end of innocence. What was the poet's name again?

The end of innocence. It's a famous poem, Jesse. The end of innocence, where AOC's youth died on a stage in Chicago. This is the Yanis Papas Hour. Let's get into it. Ladies, let's do this and protect these uteruses. May they stay empty. Okay, so I think I was actually trying to quote Paradise Lost, but there also is a

poem from a girl with a name I can't pronounce called Innocence Lost, but it was really Paradise Lost or something like that, which is about the loss of innocence. And AOC got, do you think AOC came to Nancy or do you think Nancy came to AOC? What do you think happened there? This is her first mainstream non squad like kind of non progressive speech where she's She's joined the establishment democratic machine and gave just a fiery kind of mid 90s, Barack and Mike approved speech.

There she is. She's just Nancy. I think it was a combo of both. I think the Bowman failing to get Bowman elected in New York having AOC strongly endorse him when she kind of code switched in that big speech that kind of went viral. She's up there, there's not a lot of people in the crowd

and they're talking about Gaza, Gaza, Gaza, Gaza, Gaza, Gaza, Gaza and all that stuff. And then he didn't win. I think that might've been a wake up call. I think she might've went home. Her and her white boyfriend probably started making a walnut arugula salad, shoes off, things off, kexp.org on the computer playing coffee house tunes

and I think they had a nice talk where she's like, you know, I'm in my 30s now, you know, like I'm in my 30s. I feel like I'm at a crossroads. She kind of had a crossroads moment. We all have that moment, you know, where it's like, you want to play ball or do you want to play ball? Because when you're young, you're like, I'm going to create the new way, you know, just

talk to every boomer who ended up getting a job. Once you cross that 30 mark, you stop forgetting about the counterculture protests. You start thinking about the groceries. You start looking at the future. One day AOC wants to have kids. This girl wants to be a senator. Even though in her speech she says, I will gladly return to bartending because there is no shame in working a... Do you think for one second AOC wants to climb back behind a wood wall? For what? Do you know what kind of nightmare that is?

That's like telling me I'm going back to open mics. If you gave me a choice right now, if Mr. Hollywood, if the international Jew came to me right now and he said, here's the deal, here's your Faustian bargain, you either play ball and give me a Shry objective late night talk show host smile or you're going back to open mics for eternity. Only thing you have to do, the only thing you have to do is keep quiet about this pedophile ring that's going on in Los Angeles. This is a joke. There's no pedophile ring that I've seen. But then again I'm not in Hollywood So to be honest with you the club the most I can tell you is John Stamos his house clean

That's as far as I can get that's as far as I've seen it. I've been to the house I've looked I went to the bathroom and I did a little sneak around It was like I gotta go to the bathroom. I snuck around Started looking into basement saw nothing clean regular household regular household in-laws, regular household, as far as I could see. I don't know if he's got a secret room, you know, in the study where he pushes a button, the bookshelf moves,

Adrena Chrome on tap, I can't speak to that. But as far as the appearance goes, I gave it a good once over, and it passed the eyeball test. No screaming children, nothing under the floorboards. I can't tell you. But if they made that deal with me, I'm taking it. I'm taking it.

And you know what? I'm throwing this monkey suit on and I'm doing late night talk show host smiles and I'm talking about things I don't care about. And I'll drink myself to death on the other nights because I just can't remember where I left my soul. You know, that probably gets a point where you're just like, where did I drop off my soul? I can't even remember. You start blocking it out and the next thing

you know you just, are you driving? You get there. Joey Lawrence, are you driving? It just gets to that point after a while and you start collecting cars to fill the void. You know, you get deals in the hundred millions. You don't know what's going on. You're talking to some 17 year old teeny bopper, then you're talking to some actress, trying to figure out if an actress has something interesting to say. That's what those talk show hosts do. They talk to actress and actresses all the time. There's only one of them that has anything interesting to say and that is Ethan Hawke. That's it. The guy loves poetry and he says amazing stuff and I also think Denzel Washington says some profound stuff. Everybody else, I mean what are we going to talk,

we're going to talk to Michael Madsen about beating his wife? I didn't make it up. She filed it. it up. She filed it. Do you think he went, I don't want to be here tonight. I got the feeling that something ain't right. I'm so scared to make you stuck in the middle with you. He's just started. We could see that one coming. If there's one actor I could think about who I think might end up getting a domestic abuse charge, it would be Michael Madsen. He just looks, he just looks like he's soaked in a need to discipline a lady for something. There's alcohol there. I mean, what's the chances Michael Madsen doesn't throw out his six pack at night? What's the chances? Anyway, not to make light of it, but

I mean, anyone could have predicted that it would be him. I mean, look at him, dude. He's got an earring. So I think his wife called the police because she felt aggressively handled. This is nice, politically correct. That's how his PR is going to... It was an aggressive handling that got out of hand. We don't know much about it, but everybody has that moment, you know, where you're, where you just come to that crossroads. We all knew from the beginning that she's Beyonce of the squad. The squad is a group

like Destiny's Child was a group and AOC was always the potential breakout star and now she has left them. That is the biggest headline from this Democratic National Convention in Chicago is the unveiling of AOC as a mainstream democratic voice, ready to pony up to the real world, ready to cozy up to Wall Street, ready to understand the gray zones that get things done. And I like it. And I like it. I love my career politicians. They make the dirty backroom deals that keep things functioning. Government buy the people of the people what she said

She doesn't mean it anymore and I saw it in her eyes and I liked that about her because as you get older you go That's what we want to hear But in private conversation, we want to go. That's what we're trying to prevent It's the line it's the lie that keeps everything together and it's a necessary lie. Okay, it's like a necessary like it's like Batman. Okay, remember at the end where, you know, they got to chase him. And he goes, I'm not the hero they need. How are we deserve that? That's what it is.

It's we got you just some lies you need You don't want the people running anything you want your lifetime Politicians who get experience in the field have been there who know you want your bob Menendez is in there who have good runs till 70s making backroom deals lying in his own pockets You know Making it all the way to 70. Now, when you make it to 70 after you've done the amount of corruption that Bob Menendez

of New Jersey, the esteemed senator who's the only senator to be indicted twice for bribery, he got away with it in 2015. And like most criminals, you can't stop. And then he does it again, I think what probably 2021 or something. Do these guys ever... and then he's able to just continue being a senator. He finally resigned, finally resigned on his bribery conviction. Do they do jail time? I don't think they do. I think he's registered as an independent and he's going to run again. I mean, these guys never do jail time. So we love Bob Menendez on this show. I'm sorry to his daughter, who I worked with and have a good relationship as far as I could remember.

But he made it, he's 70. Do you wanna retire quietly when you're 70 or do you wanna retire with blocks of gold in your closet with a big busted girlfriend who got a free Lexus? I mean, dude, you want gold? I want to retire in a blazing gray. This is death by cop and I love it. So Bob Menendez is finally resigning and some interim Democrat is gonna take over until the next election cycle. Now this is important, you know, the Democrats are holding on to a slim majority. Does he besmirch the seat so much that the New Jersey, which never elects Republicans, puts one in? Because of Bob Menendez? I'll tell you who

doesn't care. Bob Menendez. He doesn't care. Just to remind you, he was convicted on charges that he used his influence to meddle in three different state and federal crime investigations to protect the businessman. And remember, he was convicted on charges that he used his influence to meddle in three different state and federal crime investigations to protect the businessman. And remember, he's the one who had a gold block. He was given gold, money. I mean, he was convicted of taking actions that benefited Egypt's government in exchange for bribes. Money, gold bars, including providing details on personnel at the US embassy in Cairo and ghosts writing a letter to fellow senators regarding lifting a hold on military aid to Egypt.

Wow. That's what you call big time foreign policy for a couple of shackles. FBI agents also said they found stacks of gold bars and 480 grand hidden in his house with his big busted girl. Remember that lady with the big tits? And I think she went down too. But of course, he's appealing. But this is like Joe Biden. This appears the end for Bob Menendez.

That's it. A lifelong political career. He's been in office for years. He was first elected to his local school board just a couple of years after. You got to be very skeptical of a guy who wants to get into public life when he's in middle school. That's the guy who wants power for nefarious purposes, self-aggrandizing purposes. This was just a couple years after his high school graduation. He was elected to local school board and then the state legislature and then Congress before he made it to the Senate. So he had a lifetime public service.

Well, for him it wasn't as much public service. It was more self-service. But it was self-service masquerading as public service. But you know, I'm sure he played ball, you know? In 2015, he was charged with letting a wealthy Florida eye doctor buy his influence through luxury vacations and campaign. True country, hey! it's called quit broke.

Whoa. After a jury couldn't reach a unanimous verdict, 2017, they dropped New Jersey prosecutors dropped the case. That's when you start. Hey, that's when you start, you know, it's like when you own a bar, right? You own a bar. You just assume there's going to be a little skimming of cash off the top by these 20-year-old whores who are behind the wood wall.

You just assume there's gonna be a few free drinks given out and you're gonna be skimmed a little bit. A couple of hit the registers and boom. So when this happened, he just, with all his bribe money, he just knows he's got a,'s got a it comes off the top He factors it in when the bribe comes in 10% is just in case I got it I got a grease and so he greased a few people and the Jersey prosecutor Yeah, yeah, the Jersey prosecutor dropped the case for free for free the Jersey process

Just I it's a hung jury, I don't know. I don't know, this guy's been corrupt the whole, I didn't see, I don't know, I did it for free. I did it out of the goodness of my heart because my judge salary's enough. We all like nice things. Like I said, people say nice things and material wealth doesn't make you happy, but it would be nice to get

to that point where you have that realization. That would be real nice. It would be real nice to be full and get to that point where you go like, you know what, this yacht and side apartment in Monaco and all these other girls who have to sign NDAs because of my wealth and I can do what I want with them It didn't fill the hole But while I was doing it, I had a great time So it's real nice to come to be able to afford to come to that realization that material things don't make you happy

Because material things they say don't make you happy after you've had a great fucking time with material things So anyone would love to get to that point. Do you know how much you have to indulge in material things to get to the point where you say none of this stuff makes me happy? It doesn't happen after your parents buy you your first G.I. Joe. It doesn't happen after the first time you stay at a three-star hotel. It happens after like the 1057th time that you stayed at the Four Seasons where you go, this has become Trite. And that's a good place because for those 1056 times, it was great. So hats off to Bobby

Menendez, hats off to Joe Biden, two Democrats with long careers, career politicians that are out the door making room for the new generation of career politicians who will be able to work those gray zones, ride those lines of morality to get things done, line their own pockets with Wall Street speaking money and memoirs and get their family members nice cushy board jobs on energy company payrolls. Welcome to the party AOC. A spot has opened up.

All you gotta do is sit down with JFK Jr.'s murderer, Hillary Clinton, and she will tell you, dreams and idealism don't get you the seat in Senate that you want. It's time to set your sights across the river on New Jersey. Queens and Bronx, that's small time. That's small time. What are you gonna do?

You're gonna advocate for Forest Hills for the rest of your life? No, no, no, no, no. You have a one name star power. You are AOC. Bob Menendez, he's out. There's an empty seat. I know a thing or two about being a Scalawag.

I don't know if I'm using the right word. A carpet bagger. I think it's a carpet bagger. I'm not from New York. I am not from New York. I'm from hell. My zip code is 666. How else can you explain the fact

that she hasn't aged since 2016? She looks the same. It's baby blood every morning. That is not a tomato juice Bloody Mary. That is an Adrena Chrome at Tom Hanks' house. But I'm not from New York City. But the next thing you know, the next thing you know, I'm donning the Yankee hat that Jay-Z made famous. And I'm running for Senate in New York as a former first lady. Let's be honest, she rose up as a former first lady. Hillary Clinton has gotten nothing done.

Her big, the thing she was hanging her Yankee hat on was health care. She wasn't able to do it. It was her turn in 2008. It was her turn until a young inspiring phenom Obama Came out of Chicago and stole her fucking thunder Came in and got done what she wasn't able to get done

Obamacare That was what she was like her thing. done. Obamacare. That was what she, that was like her thing. She was like, I'm gonna do this as first lady. She was like, I'm gonna fucking do this. I'm gonna do this. Couldn't get it done. Then she moves to New York. I guess she, you know, they got a house in Westchester,

right? And, you know, Chappaqua, Chappaqua. I don't know how long you gotta live there to represent the people, but whatever it was, she did the minimum. You know, it's like when you have to pay state taxes and you just set up your shop in Texas, but you go, how many days do I really have to be here?

Rich people do it all. You know, it's like you buy a house in Florida and you go, I'm gonna spend 100, whatever it is, eight, there's a minimum. Six months in a day. Is it six months in a day? So you just go, whatever it is, I'm gonna to spend a hundred, whatever it is, eight, there's a minimal. Six months and a day. Is it six months and a day? So you just go, whatever it is, I'm going to do it. But my main house is still in New York or for her,

Hades. Her main residence in Hades. And she set up shop and next thing you know, she's a New Yorker. She's a New Yorker. She's a New Yorker. And she runs for Senate, but she realizes she's gonna lose. No way she beats JFK Jr. So she orders his plane to crash.

If it was an isolated incident, I wouldn't suspect it. But there's just a lot of people who backstababbed the Clintons who just they're not alive. But he's also a Kennedy. So he had the luck of the Kennedys and that just could have been who knows who knows. At least she called him up and said you can you know he's at least she called him up to be like hey you know I have a great respect for the family name I love that you get the getting this is gonna be a very very friendly primary a lot of respect for you A lot of respect for the name. I love the George magazine. You got nice abs. I love you You're a handsome boy. And then he goes, yeah, thank you Hillary and then because he's young right? He's not he's young at the time

So he goes, yeah, I got a flight to my Martha's Vineyard tonight um with my wife and um you know her sister whatever um I just learned to fly um but I don't think I should go because the weather's not good you know Hillary goes you know your father you know your father couldn't see far ahead of him into the future as well. He faced a lot of opposition a lot of foggy nights But that didn't stop him his the Put this put the winds of history behind you and fly into the future You have the courage you have the know-how Dare to dare to risk do I. Do I dare disturb the universe?

Yes, you do, JFK Jr. Fly, fly, my sweet prince. Fly. Fly tonight. Don't be discouraged by the fog of evil. Fly. Fly, my boy. Fly, Peter Pan.

Fly. Fly fly my boy fly Peter Pan fly So, you know AOC Maybe turning to Hillary for some tutelage and Hillary's going it's time to go across the river It's time to go Jersey. Everyone does it. Everyone lives their 20s in New York City in a one-bedroom apartment with their boyfriend. Everyone does that.

Everyone circles for parking. Everyone pays $15 for a drink and $40 for a Thai meal. Everyone does it until they hit 30, 31. Now it's time, girl. Now it's time to start your family, start your adult life, move to Jersey or Westchester, and get that Senate seat. We're gonna get that Senate seat

that Bob Menendez is vacating. It's open. I hope I'm calling it, dude. I hope I'm calling it. Okay? I hope so. You know, she could wait around and go for a New York Senate seat, but be dramatic. Move to Jersey. Operate from Jersey. Easy job. Cushy job in Jersey. Cushy. Cushy. Do you know what kind of, first of all, you're dealing with a tenth of the population, right? Cushy job. What do you got to do? You got to make sure the,

you got to make sure South Jersey's open for business during the summer. You got to make sure Wawa's is stocked with sandwiches. You got to make sure the Jersey turnpike is operable What else do you got to do in Jersey? It's a cushy job You don't got to deal with the Bronx the crime rates of the Bronx take bringing you down You don't got to deal with Queens crime rates bringing you down You don't got to deal with these highly dense multicultural problematic crime rates bringing you down. You don't got to deal with these highly dense, multicultural, problematic areas. You go to Jersey where no one can criticize you and you can coast like

Bob Menendez did for 50 years and be on the national stage, national stage. Your kids get great jobs, networks, journalists, insiders run for office. Get in the game. Get in the game, AOC. That's what's going to happen. That's the main story. The dreams and idealism in youth dying in the eyes of a woman. This is her bar mitzvah.

This is it, dude. This is the crossroads. And you know what road she took? The one on the right where the Democrats are. You notice? She was on the left road. And Nancy went, no, no, no. To the right. We were in the middle. We're moderate Dems.

We talk about the working class. We talk about unions. That's what we do. And then we go make private speeches at Wall Street for millions of dollars, because that's how the world works. It doesn't work bottom up like Joe says. He's just saying that in his speech.

It doesn't work. It works top down. Trust me. You can't have the masses in charge. AOC. I know it was a dream, but dreams die and women are born. Welcome to adulthood. Welcome to stardom. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez you killed my father cancer you killed my

father now prepare to die remember that Princess Bride isn't that what you got did you not get that from her speech? Oh yeah, this is her first like Nancy Pelosi in the audience, Joe Biden. You don't see any rag tag, you don't see any fucking hegebs. There's no, there's no Gaza flags, there's no Black Lives Matter fist here. There's no Black Lives Matter fist here. This is Wall Street AOC out here to pay lip service to the middle class like a good fucking old school Democrat. And she's making me fucking proud. I fucking love her and she's a good looking woman.

I fucking love her and she's a good looking woman. Business casual, that outfit. She didn't come out there. She's no longer AOC from the block. She's now JLo the brand. Time to grow up. That's it. You gotta get rid of that fucking boyfriend. That's number one.

That's, listen, but you know, AOC can't have anyone upstage or though, you know, so it's got to be, but who's the boyfriend? We need, look, if we're talking about Senate seat, my friend, we need someone who appeals to the white hunters, not this guy who I can be playing trivia with at a Williamsburg bar. That has got to end. You want jersey? I need a guy in a camouflage hat who hunts. You know, that's the prototype. We're talking about a guy with broad shoulders, you know? A guy who needs to get his suit custom fitted because his shoulders are broad. We need a manly man if we're going for Senate and then one day president.

We need a manly man but low key. You need yourself a fucking steward. What's his name? What's Oprah's fake straight relationship? You need yourself a Stedman. You need yourself a fucking Sted. You need a Stedman. You need yourself a fucking stead. You need a steadman. Or you need yourself a political star. But no, I don't think so because she started as a

star. Hillary started as the plus one and moved up. So I think I think that's what she needs. All right. Now yeah, call this the smoky back room. It is baby. This is the smoky back room, the Yanis Papas hour, where I am the most knowledgeable DC strategist since the bald guy. What's his name? Who's great? James Carvel, whose wife is a Republican operative.

I mean, the sex that they must have is fucking incredible. I mean, can you imagine the fights? That's how you, dude, why can't Republicans, don't you wanna have fun conversations? Seriously, it used to be that Democrats and Republicans could be friends. Like, you know, they were friends in private and then they disagreed on issues

and that was like made the dinner party great. What kind of great dinner party are you just going to be sitting around and going, yeah, yeah, convicted felon, convicted felon, yeah, yeah. You want to make the dinner party great. Someone talk about how Donald Trump's the only one who can really intimidate Putin. Throw it in there. Throw it in there and have fun. But now you do that, you're like an, you're anathema. You're, you're, you know, you're a social pariah instead of the fun one. That should be the fun one at a Manhattan dinner party. That should be the fun one.

You should say, bring him, bring the Republican guy. You know, we're just gonna sit around and blow each other. That's a fucking boring night. When my parents used to have parties, you know, we're just gonna sit around and blow each other. That's a fucking boring night When my parents used to have parties, you know My mom was heavily, you know, she was at the UN by the way, you know one time who came to my Christmas party was Mohammed al-baradai who ended up being the secretary general I think of the United Nations way before he was secretary general

of the United Nations, but he came to one of the Christmas parties. But like all my parents' friends were Greek and whatever, and they were all like Republicans and Democrats. My dad like was Republican, my dad did it for like business, my dad was just like, I'm Republican, my mom was always Democrat,

that's the way it went back then, you know? It was like, I think to be a man, you had to be Republican. I think it was women were Democrats and men's were Republicans and they were like in the same relationship. Wasn't a big deal. It should be more like that again amongst the body politic at least. Where that that's what's happened. That's the difference in politics now. It's it's the leaders still lie and yell and demonize each other. I think like they always have. It's gotten obviously more low brow. It's become a roast.

It really could be unkilled. I mean, the funny thing is they have Shane Gillis being Trump and Adam Ray being Biden, but you could really get both of them there and they would do the same thing. They would say the same things. That's how low brow and stupid and low common denominator DC has stepped in. It used to be Hollywood for smart, ugly people. Now it's just beautiful people who are stupid. You know? And Trump, I think he's beautiful. I

think he's better looking than Kamala. I think I'm beautiful. So that's the big difference I've seen, is that nobody's into that sort of bipartisan dinner party anymore, which is a much funner dinner party to be at, right? RFK Jr. is a great guest, you know? Just contradicting himself all the time, saying wild stories, talks about years of fucking heroin use. I mean, it's just

You know, he slips in the bear story. I mean you got a lot of great stuff, you know, yeah I mean why I mean he's a he's like his uncle Jack He is some somehow somebody got a hold of his diary and this kid was This is one of my favorite arcade things is This is one of my favorite R.F.K. things. Cause I used to do this, I used to do this when I was like 15. We all did it.

Do you ever try to remember all the girls you had sex with and write them down and count them? And like one, two, I was like trying to remember. He did that as an adult in his diary. And someone got ahold of his diary and he was just listing all the chicks that he banged. He was listing them like a teenager, as a full grown adult, maybe like a 55 year old man.

He had a secret journal of just all his affairs. He was keeping track. The kid liked putting up numbers and he liked reflecting on it. So he's an interesting dinner guest because he'll say some Republican shit he'll say some Democrat shit he'll say the measles vaccines bad but they don't say I didn't say that he'll say the vaccine targets whites and Jews what was it whites and blacks but not Jews and Chinese remember that one do you remember it vaguely yeah yeah well he was at a party and he was like the the virus is engineered to attack blacks and whites and not Chinese

Which maybe it is. I don't know about that. I don't know how the Jews get in there, but I mean, that's what he said. I'm not even I'm not I'm right on that by the way, a lot of people commented on Luxembourg and Also, a lot of people told me why the tech billionaires are going for Trump. It's because of the billionaire tax that Biden is doing or wants to do. So it makes sense. They're billionaires. They don't want it.

So it could also be all that regulation shit I was talking about, probably is both. But also Luxembourg, a lot of people say, even though I didn't know anything about Luxembourg, a lot of people were saying I was kinda dead on about Luxembourg, yeah. It's like this rich place and, you know. I didn't, one, it appears, girl DM me and she's married to a Luxembourger.

And she was like, everything you're saying is dead on. So I don't know, it's a banking center, it's rich. They're basically high class loan sharks, right? That's what bankers do, right? Essentially, is that what a banker is? But a loan shark? Like a high class loan shark. That's how they make their money, right?

So that's Luxembourg. And patreon.com slash Yannis Papasauer for our deep dive into its sister but opposite city Newburgh, New York. Well, we also take a look at the the price increase for private schools, which was crazy. I enjoyed that episode because it was mind blowing. So patreon.com slash Yannis Papasar for our weekly bonus episodes. They gave Biden the 3 a.m. slot at the DNC. They didn't want him to be heard from too much. They really did him a little dirty, didn't they?

What do they call that in comedy when you're after the closing? They call that the late night check spot. Oh. That's what they gave him. That's what they call the late night sets for the newer comics. Stick around till 2 a.m. Stick around till 1 a.m.

You can go up after Dave Chappelle in two hours. Good luck. Yeah, I think he went on at like 12 something. President of the United States for five more months, stepped aside for his party, and they rewarded him with a 12-15 spot. They definitely didn't want him being the focal point. No, they wanted him to be consumed in clips on the internet the next day.

Because here's the thing about a Biden speech, and I watched it, I caught the whole thing. I caught the whole thing. He's better in clips. He's a lot like most digital comedians now. Better in clips than live. Two-minute segments because you can catch him on a nice minute streak where he doesn't fumble a word or doesn't forget what he's saying but when you watch him in a whole 40-minute

speech there was a lot of flubs and he did it but he did a pretty good job for his last one. He probably did a line of coke, and when I'm going out, it's my last one. Then he brought Hunter up there, because who gives a fuck at this point? He did? Yeah. He didn't, he said convicted felon, and then he brought Hunter right out.

Who gives a fuck at this point, it's over. What are you gonna get me for? It's done, I'm out. I'm out. Like Bob Menendez, going out like this. He was going out like this. He was a little, he was fiery, you know? Just fucking, two middle fingers in the air, like Tupac.

Just I'm out, fuck you, you guys fucking pushed me out, and now you're giving me this late night set because you don't want me to get any sort of main focus. And he accepted it, he took it on the chin because he's a good old school guy who knows how to work the gray zones. He knows how to keep his crackheads unemployed, you know, with a favor job in Ukraine.

He just knows how to keep it going from Delaware, one of the shadiest corporate states, the shadiest probably, with laws that are just meant for corporations to just ass-rape you. And that's where he's from. He's Crooked Joe, Sleepy Joe. And it's time for him to hit the Steve Carr,

stealing Steph Curry's Sleep Sleep. Night night Joe. This was way past his bedtime. They really had to give him, you know, a couple of cups of coffee to make this time slot. But it was the end. It was his final speech. Jill came out. Hunter came out. Who cares what it looks like? It's over. The press has moved on. They're focused on Kamala and Tim. Now, what I would do, Kamala sounds a lot like what? Kamala. They're going for this young vibe. Whoever is in charge over there, they've changed. Not a lot of mentions of LGBTQ, not a lot of mentions of trans,

not a lot of mentions of inclusion. Biden did some lip service to proud to have the first black Supreme Court, proud to have the first woman here, whatever the fuck he was saying. He was doing the optics game, he was playing the DEI game a little bit, but nobody's there for Joe's speech, he was doing the optics game, he was playing the DEI game a little bit, but nobody's there for Joe's speech.

He's on the way out. He's the past now. But everybody else, there's been a shift. There's been a shift. There's this dismissive, they're weird. That's as far as they go, they're weird. They're still playing that convicted felon line here and there, right? I don't think that's great. You know? I don't think that's great.

You know, I don't think it plays great. But they're doing, the thing I think that is good is the dismissive they're weird, because they're playing a woman. And when women don't like a guy, they go, he's weird, he's creepy, weird, creepy. They're playing a woman. They're trying to get that reproductive, you know, we're trying to get that catapult out there for the baby.

Trying to get that catapult vault. And that is a good strategy. Just dismiss if he's weird, because that's what women, that hits a guy in a, it talks to women in a, they all can relate at a bar, he's weird, he's creepy, he's weird. It's stay away, the a bar, he's weird, he's creepy, he's weird. It's stay away. The subtext, the subconscious,

to stay away from that guy, he's weird. You know, the guy, ooh, the guy you like is never weird for women. So, and then it hits guys in that spot because they know if you get called weird, it's just like, that's worse than being called ugly. He's weird. You don't wanna be weird.

So whoever's pushing those buttons, whatever strategist is telling them to use that buzzword, I give that an A plus in the strategy room, in the war room. This is the politics, you know? This is the politics that fucking got my mother and brother horny. It's the fucking, it's the dirty underworld.

It's the, you know, and I'm glad to see it's back. The Democrats are not talking like lawyers anymore. They're talking like middle class hunters who like Beyonce. They're pulling those worlds together and they're doing it better than they did in the past. I gotta say, give them credit, the DNC did 2 million more than the RNC. It's gonna be tough because the Republicans are coming with a guy who is from the past, right?

So there's something subconscious about that too, right? Like new, people like the new. What's the new thing on the market? What's the new? Kamala, Camelot, Kamala, play that. Camelot, JFK, you know, Camelot, Camelot, Camelot, Camelot. You get it? Camel toe. Camel toe camel toe. She is Sandra D Right South Asian so camels Camelot camel toe camel

Camelot it works Kamala camelot Get that going somehow, you know, this is Madison Avenue tricks that work that work because it hits your subconscious that's the thing about the human mind is that advertisers know more about the subconscious than like I think psychologists and regular citizens because they use it and it works. It like works. Colors, red, blue, it just works. And you don't think you're susceptible to it because it's not speaking to your conscious mind. It happens without you knowing about it.

You just start affiliating certain things. You look at a Newport ad and you're going like, they're having a great time skiing. Why do they put, why are they skiing? If it's a cigarette ad, it's because of the subconscious. Advertising is meant to break into your fucking brain and manipulate you. Isn't that what advertising and marketing is? Manipulation without your consent? It is a mind rape. Essentially it's

non-consensual, non-consensual platonic activity. Am I wrong? You're a former ad guy. Your soul is on 46th Street, I believe. Was it 46th? 48th and 3rd. 48th and 3rd is where Jesse Scanturo made his Faustian bargain and every fucking paint, brush, stroke that you do

can't get it back. Every fucking face you mold with your fingers. Claiming artistic integrity, can't get it back. The devil wants you here. Helping Yanni rise to the top so I can sell out Madison Square Garden. Pushing my moderate agenda. It didn't used to be that a comedian had to have an agenda.

So often I'm described as left wing or so often. The problem with the left wing too is, and I'm speaking to potential viewers, because I think the right-wing market is cornered. So you may see a sharp, you may see a sharp turn to the left here as a strategy. But the problem with the left wing to this point has been they don't they write you off if you say anything The left wing has been pulled very Kooky left, right? So it got to the point where like you could say a bunch of left-wing things, but if you say one Thing that doesn't toe that far left line, they put you in the right box.

You gotta stop doing that. Those are the voters you're courting. Support this show. This is the swing voter show. You know, I'm ready to sell my soul. I'm ready. Because here's the thing. You can't get a single, why do you think so many young people are out there marching, whether what they believe in is naive or true or right or wrong, what gets them out there marching, putting their safety on the line? What is it?

I'll tell you what it is. Lack of responsibilities. They can lose money. They can get kicked out of their apartment. They don't have any mouths that are dependent on them. You know who does have mouths who are dependent? I do. Family people. That's why if you wanna corrupt someone.

That's why if you, Faust doesn't show up for the kids, man. He doesn't show up for the kids. He lets the kids have fun and then he waits for you to get married and then the devil shows up. The devil shows up when you have kids and he says, don't you want to be the face of this network? We're gonna make you...you know, that's when he shows up when you're vulnerable, because you know, you need the money. You need those pretty shackles. You need them for your daughter's school, for your daughter's soccer camp, for your daughter's tennis lessons, for your daughter's dance outfit, for your daughter's juicy boxes, for your

daughter's smoothies who were made by either Jessica Biel or there's like three of them that are millionaires with baby food. Ben Affleck's wife's got one. Jessica Alba's got one. I mean, it's baby food. I mean Jessica Alba is a multi millionaire You haven't seen her in movies anymore because she's made like a trillion dollars off of like soft food baby soft food You know some fucking rich guy goes yeah, Jessica Alba you just had kids let's fucking do this man be the spokesperson Throw your name on it. Here's 40% or no, here's 7%, it's your business, whatever. And it just blows through the roof. And I think Ben Affleck's ex-wife's got one.

She's got something as well. Some sort of baby product. You know, they all do. The Paul Brothers, Prime. Oh, Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth Paltrow, she's got one. Big, big company. She's got a baby thing. Goop, she makes. She's got goop. Makes billions. Yeah, which is weird, because she Oh, Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth Paltrow, she's got one. Big company.

She's got a baby thing. Goop, she makes. She's got goop. Makes billions. Yeah, which is weird, cause she's, you know, she's talking, she's got pussy bacteria candles or baby food. She's really talking to two separate markets

or maybe the same one, liberal women who are a little cat lady-ish, who are reluctant moms. Reluctant moms, there you go JD Vance. There you go. There's another one for you. Reluctant moms. Postpartum moms because they can no longer act. They can no longer do improv because they're they they got to watch the baby and they're upset. They're angry and they're having a lot of aggressive thoughts towards the baby and anger. You know, it's just, it feels toxic. It's a one-way relationship.

What about me? Why does my husband not have a tit to nurture this baby? Let's change that. There it is, goop. They all got a baby food, you know? So, hats off, A AOC into the mainstream. Bob Menendez rides off into the darkness and the Yanis Papasour is here to recap it all

and give it to you with love and left wing. Fully left, fully liberal, pro-choice, pro-immigrant, pro-choice, ladies, pro-choice, reproductive rights. Reproductive rights. Reproductive rights. I'm here for you. I am the alternative podcast. Whatever it takes. And if that doesn't work, we're swinging back right

to build on what is probably the most important thing in the world. And that's the most important thing. Whatever it takes. And if that doesn't work, we're swinging back right to build on what is probably already the base. Because the internet, I think, is more right.

I don't know. I don't know. You tell me. Who am I? Who's still watching? Who got to the end? And let me know why. And I'll speak to you in my Gallup poll sample marketing mission. Right now you're no longer a human being.

You are a microcosmic example of others like you. I can get to fucking watch this. Welcome to Madison Avenue, Yanni, baby. We're going full blown fucking market research. Trump 2024. We're brought to you as always by the reproductive rights supporting company of exclusive autoshipping.com, ladies.

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