Yannis Pappas Hour - Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: November 12, 2022

Ari has made one of the best comedy specials you’ll ever see. It’s on YouTube and it’s crushing. Watch Jew here: https://youtu.be/y2YtIBYM4w0Sponsors Bon Charge https://boncharge.com/pages/fumesPromo code: fumes Dad Grass https://dadgrass.com/pages/FUMES?utm_source=paragon_fumes&utm_medium=podcast_sponsorship&utm_campaign=fumesRaycon https://rayconglobal.com/pages/longdays?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=influencer&utm_campaign=longdays&nb_platform=partner-lp&nb_ppid=podcast&nb_cpid=fumesPromo: early bfRoman https://ro.co/hair-loss/?c=063f7ac6a6d965234d1f5cb22beb02e7&utm_source=Paragon&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=podcast&utm_content=long_daysWatch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our Patreon for hilarious bonus episodes each week: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysJoin our highlights page for podcast highlight clips: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Saturday and new bonus every Thursday on Patreon.com/yannilongdays Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, guys? Before we get into this incredible episode with Ari Shafir, I just wanted to tell you about live dates coming up. I don't know if there's any tickets tonight. Vulcan Gas Company in Austin, Texas. I'm here. So if not, if there's tickets, go get them. Detroit, Michigan, December 1st through 3rd. Then Jacksonville, Florida, December 8th through 10th. Charlotte, 15th through the 17th.

Philadelphia for New Year's Eve, but between the 29th and 31st, tons of shows at the Philly Punchline in Philadelphia, December 29th through the 31st, West Nyack, New York, New York, stand up, Westchester, everywhere over there, January 20th through the 22nd, Levity Live, West Nyack, New York. San Diego, January 26th through the 28th. Chicago, February 24th, 5th, and 6th. Atlantic City, March 3rd. E-Miles, Pennsylvania, March 4th. House of Comedy in Dallas, Texas, Plano, March 16th through the 18th. Phoenix, March 30th through April 1st. Tampa, April 21st through 22nd. Providence, Rhode Island, May 12th through 13th. Just added Arlington Drafthouse

and the Blue Room in Springfield, Missouri. MO is Missouri, right? Yeah. So get your tickets, everybody. Also,

patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days for bonus episodes. Now enjoy this incredible episode with Ari Shaffir. What's up everybody? Welcome to Long Days on the Sabbath. Ari's breaking it right now by holding that microphone, but it's okay because there's a Goy in the room. Everybody, Ari Shafir. His special right now jew is on youtube it's already at two plus 2.6 wow 2.6 last night yeah damn it's an absolutely incredible

comedy special and uh the timing couldn't be perfect my first question yeah um how much did israel invest in it for it to come out well a lot and we got through we talked to kanye and kairi's publicists and we made a deal you know and we said kairi you know listen you might not be able to play in the nba for a long time but you can play play in the israeli leagues and we can launch your shoe the way starberries really launched in china right uh you know we can have the chamish berries in Israel and really get that going. And he took the bait, man.

He took the bait. We don't need you to say anything. We just need you to not say the other way. People are going to ask you directly, do you hate Jews? And you just dodge it. They hate when you dodge the question. Right. You know, it's like every Jew in America right now was alarmed when Kanye said what he said.

And there was one Jew that woke up that morning and went, time to release this special. Cha-ching. It's going through my mind. Talk about free marketing and advertising. Wow. Everyone's talking about Jews suddenly. Yeah. It's just like, even if, I think, I don't know if you could, if you went on Google and put it in the search, I think it's just like, everyone's talking about Jews suddenly. Yeah, it's just like, even if, I think, I don't know if you could,

if you went on Google and put it in the search, I think it's just like, everyone's doing that right now. Be like, I want to learn about Jews. Yeah, and it comes up, Jew, as the title was already there. Yeah, it's absolutely perfect. Yeah, what if you type into Google, type in Google Jew horns and see what comes up. I just want to see what people, you can tell what other people are,

Jew horns. Jew horns. Jew horns. Introduction. Horned Moses, devil stereotype, anti-Semitic stereotype of the Jewish body, anti-Semitic origin of Michelangelo's horned Moses, Jews with horns,

stereotypes of Jews, horns of Moses. Oh my gosh. You know, it is funny, the, the, you think the fucking,

the shofar would have come up. All the negative came up right away. That we do have a horn that we blow. You know, the anti-Semitism is funny because it's conspiratorial. Every conspiracy leads to Jews. It's all Jews. There's very few that don't.

Very flat earth somehow. And COVID somehow did not lead to Jews. Well, I think it depends on what neighborhood you were presently having a conversation. You would think they would have at least said, we were in cahoots with the Chinese. Right. With the Chinese. I actually said when there was people who were against the vax, and those people, how they tend to think. I think I tweeted once or something, or I said once on a podcast. I was like, hey,

they're giving them to their people in Israel so you know that there's nothing wrong with them. That's what Renazisi said. He goes, here's how I know it's safe. Israel's giving to their people. And if anyone doesn't fuck with their own people, it's Israel. And I was like, what about the Arabs?

He goes, yeah, yeah, sure. If they're only giving to the Arabs, for sure suspect it. But if they're giving to themselves. Right. That's how you know it's cool. Yeah, that they've researched it and that COVID vaccination,

oh, an extermination Nazi. Oh, we found one. It wasn't hard to find. It was the third. Here's the thing. No matter what it is, it may not be the top Google search, but it'll at least be,

it'll come in, it'll be a bronze medal. You'll always be at the least third place there will be a Jewish conspiracy behind what it is. In 2020, not long after COVID began spreading, CST released a research briefing titled Coronavirus and the Plague of Anti-Semitism. Oh, so this is not the vaccine.

This is right away. Wow. Being used by extremists online to push anti-Semitic narratives and conspiracies. Wow. Yeah, it always goes to that dude that train is never late as what about so then what about flat earth that's the only way what at the end of that flat earth is a is one old jew well kairi kairi started with flat earth

started with flutter and then he worked back and at some point there is some weather control the weather one is a good one because i don't even know what the benefit of that is. Who's controlled the weather? Yeah, what's the benefit? I heard this guy, we're coming back from Dixie Chicks, I'll admit it. What's that stadium outside by the water? Deep, deep, deep Long Island by the Jones Beach. Jones Beach, yeah.

Coming back is one of those cabs. It's just like somebody's minivan unmarked you know and so we're having a good time is there any cash like can we stop we need to get some stop at 7-eleven get beers for the ride you're cool we're all we're until we get most way back and he goes so what news sources do you guys get your news from like hell yes oh yes and so i already sniff out crazy you know and i have a general theory is never try to argue with crazy try to agree and see hold on let's just take a moment for the comments he said sniff out crazy put your comments in the thing you know they did it and i can sniff it out you know i'm talking about and uh and uh i was like you know you can't trust

mainstream media that's what i'm thinking like you know i'd call that right because there's no way he goes what what news sources do you guys get and he's gonna go msnbc for me it doesn't lead with that the washington post it does never go to something normal i'm like where do you go he goes uh alternative news sources i'm like, where do you go? He goes, alternative news sources. I'm like, what do you go? He goes, googlealternativenewsources.com. And I was like, no, what's the website? He goes, googlealternativenewsources.com.

And I was like, what website do you go to? He goes, the website is googlealternativenewsources.com. And I'm like, okay, I don't think it's that. I don't think it's that. But he starts telling me all this stuff, and eventually it gets to, oh, you got the Manolis thing. Eventually it gets to Michelle Obama was a man. You see those?

Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. That's a go-to. And I was like, seen it, yeah, for sure. That's a go-to, yeah. Yeah, you start going, oh, for sure, dude, for sure, absolutely. Then he goes, Madonna was a man. And I'm'm like get the fuck out of town that's far-fetched yeah get out of here she was so hot yes and he goes she was a

man i'm telling you and then he goes to his like message board that he shares with his friends and he goes look and it's just a face change app you know run through three times it's it's like see and you're like see what dude this is an app but i don't say that right and and then eventually somebody in the back because you don't want to ruin his fun absolutely or his raison d'etre that's the his reason for existing and he's positive yeah it's not like it's when somebody showed me that michelle obama was a man it was like this is a funny rabbit hole to go down right uh his name is mike whatever he goes but then somebody in the back seat goes but what would they have to gain?

And he goes, they were men. And he goes, yeah, yeah, but what did they gain? So now they're women. What did they gain out of that? The politician's like, what's the benefit there? He goes, no, they're men though. You guys, you were being cruel to him. That's almost like yelling at a retarded person.

Yeah, you got to let them have it. Irrefutable proof that Michelle Obama is a man. I have a hunch that it's not irrefutable. I think it's a refute. I have a hunch it may be refutable. It might be a refute. Yeah. But what do they have to gain is like that.

So it's like, what do the Jews have to gain from controlling the weather? And you're like, you've got to be able to tell them what that is. Right. It's the same thing with flat earth, that flat earth theory. I go like, okay, so why would they hide that? What does anyone get out of that? What's the benefit? Like, you can't buy a theory.

Like, if there's a conspiracy, there's got to be somebody's interest. Yeah. Why do you let your car not take off? Well, because oil companies don't want to take off. Oh, okay. It makes sense. Right. Even when they go go why do the aids cure not come out it's like because doctors make more money on whatever it's like okay but then you go like but wouldn't one doctor make a ton of money if you just had an aids drug right and you're like damn yeah yeah punches a

hole in it yeah punches a hole in the fun the fun you punches a hole in the shut up dude fuck up what are you doing jesse just pulled up dude this is salon too doing good journalism here salon do jewish bankers control the weather bankers control the weather well because on tax day they want you out mailing mail wow now here's the so we know what this we know that looks like devious this meeting it looks it looks ominous that's a that's a final solution meeting yeah it's black and white photo of just uh white men glasses being somber yeah and they have their furrowed brows it's the rothschild oh those are the rothschilds yeah the rothschild yeah now he those are the Rothschilds. Yeah. Now, he speaks, but he speaks like this.

Also, you know, it's funny. It's like the Jews never had an empire. They never conquered people. They never, well, you guys never like had an expanding empire. We never did. David Times. Oh, it's way back then? Way back, yeah. How far did you guys get we

made it so much that we had to outlaw conversion because we thought you would convert for the wrong reasons explain i don't even we're so powerful that it's like like early america like you come you're american just come is that historical factors that's biblical was there like a real david and like that whole thing oh yeah yeah uh Did he slay a giant named Goliath? That's my question. I'd probably say no. Okay, well, I thought that was the true part. I've seen slingshots, but like to kill one, that's only walking dead.

You don't walk dead, they all have to get there. It's like, I'll do slingshot. Dude, get a gun. What the fuck is wrong with you? But yeah, I mean, you know, the wasps, they conquered the world. They had, you don't hear a lot. It's funny, you don't hear a know the wasps they they conquered the world they had you don't you don't hear a lot it's funny you don't hear a lot of wasps conspiracies you don't hear a lot of like chinese conspiracies it's like that's who's in control right now yeah you guys are so stupid

you don't even know who owns you it's called ccp sweetheart they're the ones in control but um jews are six what do you think the conspiracy what do you think's behind it is it jealousy is it because you guys don't try to convert people so it's that kind of thing was like the hot chick doesn't want you it makes you hate her yeah i think it's stuck to themselves yeah that's a little bit yeah yeah they don't try to integrate back then anyway they had their own separate worlds now now you have jews like, Dov Davidoff Jews. Right. Dov Davidoff Jews. Tattooed up. Yeah, he's tough. And they're like

part of society. Still owns a building though. He for sure has a victim. He still has a building. He doesn't like to stay attached, but you have evicted. We'll say if Edson's family's not happy with you. Hey, I'll just say this to all the other people. Those buildings are there for other people to buy.

The Greeks have bought a lot in Astoria. They're there to buy. You sound like a Jew now. Yeah, well, that's what I do. They're there to buy. Guys, they're there to buy. Just do it. They're there.

Can I just say right now, we've had this problem on Legion of Skanks. Look at that ad. Oh, what? Is there an N-word there? Nope. Oh, you said Legion of Skanks. Look at that ad. Oh, what? Is there an N-word there? Nope. Oh, you said Legion of Skanks. Yeah.

Clear and sell. $2.88 for a pair of shoes. They were $23. Let's get them. Let's just buy them because of the deal, right? $2.88. You can't beat that for shoes, even if they're shitty. Let's buy them right now.

See how they fucking get you on this ad. Yeah. I have Ari on right now. $2.88. I'm trying to dispel Jewish stereotypes. And here he is going like. $2.88 shoes. They were $23. I don't even like them, but I can't resist this now. I'm trying to dispel Jewish stereotypes. He's got $2.88 shoes. They were $23.

I don't even like them, but I can't resist this deal. It's a great deal. I'm sorry. It's terrible to interrupt the Long Days podcast for a great deal. They're women's sneakers. You know, woman, let's get them. Let's get them. Let's see if we can get these $2.88 sneakers.

Okay, here we go. Where are they? Okay, hot sale. Suddenly it's $4.02. Price is already going up. We got to get them now. Although on the left with the 30%. It's $4.02.

Why did you just go up? Because there's other Jews right now on this site buying them up. That's why. You're not the only one. They pulled this shit yesterday. Yeah. If you don't think for one second, they're all over this already. Just, you know. See if this review is still up. Scroll down. There's an N word on the first yesterday. Yeah. If you don't think for one second, they're all over this already. Just, you know.

See if this review's still up. Scroll down. There's an N-word on the first review. Yeah. Right there. Oh, yeah. There it is. Yeah.

With the stars? Yep. Yeah. Yeah. People who type on the internet love to put that word down. Yeah. As soon as Elon Musk bought Twitter, it was like, that's how people broke out of their,

that was their free speech. That was their free speech hurrah. It is fun. It is fun when you were a kid to be like, this is the worst word I'm going to say. It's something like you find, you want to,

it's like naughty. You want to do the thing you can't do. Dude, we said it in Israel when I was there, right before like early seminary, before it started, we realized there's no black people here.

Yeah. There's none. Yeah. There's a couple Ethiopians and they're way, way in like a settlement. It's like singing bad in the shower.

Nobody's there to judge you. Exactly. Right. And you just, your friends are down the block and you go, let's do it with another word. Let's say,

I don't know, tabletop. Let's just, we know what that means. What's tabletop? Oh, you're using it for, yeah. And you're a block away. I'm like, Giannis!

Hey, tabletop! Get out of here! You're all tabletops! And no one's going to have a chance. It's so freeing. God, it must feel good. I get it. Yeah, yeah. I get it. Yeah, yeah.

I get it, Kanye. And so that's what it is, right? Because what you're saying is when people type it on the internet, it's like that. Yeah, it's that. There's no consequences. You have a fake name. Yeah. Fake avatar.

Yeah, it's like totally, nobody can catch you and you just let it out. And it's the thing that you can't do. Do you think humanity will always want to do the thing they can't do? No, it's fine. It's better. Humans will always fuck everything up. Yeah, it's like you go to the aquarium,

and you're like, don't put your hand in this, and you're like, okay, let me just do that real quick. Yeah. Don't touch means touch. Yeah. I always thought that about Catholic girls

when I was growing up, because they were always the hottest to hook up with. It was almost like the repression from the religion was worth how it makes them. That Catholic school outfit was supposed to be religious. It became hot. Yeah. There's something not hot about someone

who's flaunting it too much. You want that kind of naughty thing. And if it's not naughty, then there's nothing great about it. Yeah, right, right, right. You know? And that may be what's behind the anti-Semitism, right? Because the Jews don't want you. They're hiding.

No, that's okay. They're like, well, fuck you. Yeah, then fuck you. And then, well, we want it. You can't fire me. I quit. Yeah. That's a fucking non-Jewish thing.

Way to give up your unemployment, loser. Fuck you. Okay, great. You quit. Now, you were working on this for five years dude i remember you telling me about this a long time you took it to edinburgh you did the whole like uh month thing you go there no but i just remember we were talking about it a couple years ago and you told me you were doing it you and i remember you telling me about the show and that you were doing it and that was then

covid hit so you had to shelve it kind of yeah. Yeah. And then you came back to it. Do you think that in an unintended way, COVID helped craft this thing over five years? Because it's timeless material, so you didn't have to rush it. There was no, like, someone's going to beat you to talking about Moses. Right. You know what I mean? It's been there. Right.

You know? You weren't like, oh, it's all COVID related. I got to get it out now. Yeah, I had a joke in my old special about like a chick i knew got pregnant off a tinder date and i was like part of me was like i gotta get this recorded and get it up because tinder's kind of going away as a zeitgeist thing it's already it's gone now so it's like this was like let me figure out a release date yeah there's no specific yeah if your show's about jews you're like dude it's been they've been they stay in the news for thousands of years we've been here yeah why do we stand why do we stay in the news

think about it damn yeah because their friend with the pen says we make sure that that happens thanks zucky yeah um uh yeah it was it definitely helped it it definitely helped it i it's in fact i kind of want to do this from now on with specials. But I had this old plan of the last special, I did it, edited it, then I took off, I left, I went on a real vacation, spirit journey kind of shit for a few months, got lost, locked myself out of all my email and social media. Was that when you went to Cambodia for a few years?

Yeah. A few years, yeah, like four months. And then I came back and then like was that when you went to like cambodia for a few years yeah yeah a few years yeah like four months but like uh and then i came back and then netflix was buying so i was like oh okay maybe you'll buy my special and then they did but but that time i was gone it's like who cares i'll be gone i have a special waiting um and then this one i wanted to do it and then take off go work in like a farm in kenya for a little bit but now with the why would you why did you want to do it and then take off go work in like a farm in kenya for a little bit but now with the break why did you want to do that it's got my head i met a guy who was he helped build the wall in uh in on the southern border yeah yeah he was an army contractor old old veteran trump supporter yeah i met him in a language class in medellin oh he built the wall in israel no no no he was like i'm working on i'm a contractor like what are you working on he goes i'm like what are you working

on goes the wall i'm like what he goes you working on? He goes, the wall. I'm like, what? He goes, I'm not political. It's a job I got. And he goes, it's nuts. You'll get a call in the middle of the night from a fucking wadded up fucking lunatic Donald Trump. In the middle of the night, go, I want speakers on this section. And you'll be like, what, dude?

And then you've got to like, hopefully he forgets he made that call. He's like, is there any way to put a mural of me it's like we have plans dude it's an architectural undertaking how much wall did they get up during his administration is there any of his wall there was a lot before him yeah some was done and i think biden's completing it right which is funny right which is so funny yeah yeah it's so funny what fucking hypocrites they all are. Yeah, yeah. You end up being a Trump like apologist, but really you're just going, you're all pieces of shit.

Right, right. Why do you just call out the one guy? Right. Well, it was the way he delivered the message that they were able to capitalize on. Because really he was just being like, hey, we should have a border. And yeah, there's already like just the way

everyone was going a wall, they demonize it. But really it's just a border wall that a lot of people just the way everyone's going a wall they demonize it but really it's just a border wall that a lot of people oh i love that people like we should be friends with our with our neighbors to the south i'm like actually we already guard it with machine guns we open fire on any fucking family trying to get in that's been there right under your fucking savior guy from last time right and a lot of places have a wall it's just like fence or he just wanted a river yeah and it just became demonized or whatever, but yeah. Anyway, taking a year off, I got to come back to the material, like real fresh-minded and look at it like from the outside.

They ever look at like a high school yearbook picture and all the hot chicks in your class. You're like, oh, you were a little girl. Or some that, oh, you're still hot. And then like, no like no you were not i don't know what i had in my head right you just i i saw from the outside in from a year after a lot of the setups are way too long some of it like reiterated too much on one topic some of it was like oh i've got four examples here i only need two you know um and so i could see it fresh i want want to do that next time. I want to do it, complete it, don't record it, put it away, and then come back to it and then dust it off again.

Yeah. It kind of, the analogy that works for me is like, there was all these Italian restaurants that like, Jesse knows this, that were like the hot spots in Brooklyn until, and that we thought were amazing. And then like gentrification happened and like the hipsters came in with their science cooking, and then you go back to those old spots, and you're like, oh, that's shit.

You were just the only one here. You were just the only one here, so you see it with fresh perspective. It's a good lesson, because everyone now just thinks they're right all the time, and they don't want to be wrong. It's like, go do something, and then come back to it. Maybe you're not right.

New York's the greatest city in the world. Where else would you live? It's like, no way. I don't need to. How it's like go do something and then come back to it maybe you're not right greatest city in the world like where else you live like i'm no way i don't need to yeah how would you say it's a great right the best pizza's not even new york it's in new jersey yeah or connecticut or connecticut yeah chinese is in jersey it's like you're great you're not right right you have no knowledge of the world in order to make that idea it's something that it's like this imperiousness everyone has like they issue these edicts as if it's like law as if it's final as if nobody's human it makes mistakes or grows or learns new things like you learned something new that word imperious you use it twice today i've used it i think that's the seventh oh really i think i used it four times in the car i noticed i was like oh that's a big word and now it's like enough it's been nagging at me you definitely just learned a word i probably i looked that up this morning i was like that'll be good to

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Every time they want to hand me one of those things,'m like you think i'll change your stuff no you don't want to change up pick up a gun and people like oh you don't get a flyer dude when they were talking about that january 6th bravery i was in ecuador so i was gone i didn't have any of the emotion. I wasn't here reading it, so I wasn't like, but people are like, it's the end of democracy. And I was like, fuck yeah. And they're like, no, no, that's a bad thing. I was like, oh, shit. Oh, sorry, I didn't know.

I thought we were against that. Yeah. I thought we hated democracy. By the way, it was not the end of democracy. All you motherfuckers screaming on both sides about it was wasted emotion. Right. The next democracy took place without a hitch.

Right. It's yet to be seen. It's still early. We still could lose it. We had some mid-midterms a year ago. Yeah. I mean, we could. We have elections like every four months now.

Yeah. Don't you feel like that? Well, the midterms come, what, every two years? Yeah, but they had other elections like not too long ago, right? Yeah, yeah. They have the Senate election. Everything's off for a couple of years. It, what, every two years? Yeah, but they had other elections not too long ago, right? Yeah, yeah. They have the Senate election. Everything's off a couple of years. It's not just every two years.

It's like- Yeah, what is going on? There's too much democracy. Pick up your- Yeah, too much. Yeah, slow it down a little bit. I like these midterm ones because they're just voting on name and letter. Yeah.

Nobody knows the actual issues. Yeah. I love the ads, though. You go on the road? Yeah. So you're in the car on the road listening to the radio or tv when the local stuff comes on yes you don't know anything about these people you're just hearing them and they're like so so so wants to do this to your fucking kids

it sounds bad actually that's the i think that's the only frame of reference people have when they vote is those is those ads yeah that's it yeah or like or like the signs that are just up on the grass and suburbs it's like all these people you're like as if cars are gonna stop and and be like i'm gonna look into that i'm gonna look into who that is yeah i know it's totally meredith from uh from helium and she was like oh they said the one the bald guy in uh in in philadelphia or pennsylvania uh it's like he wants he lets um like criminals out of jail. That's not good. And I was like, I think that means pot.

I don't think he just wants to let rapists and murderers out. That doesn't seem right. And she goes, yeah, but it is emotionalizing me. Well, I think they do that. They go with name recognition. Did he win? He's going against Dr. Oz. He's going against Dr. Oz.

Well, that guy's got a stroke, and that guy's a fake doctor from television. Yeah. So to say that democracy's flourishing, I think may be an overstatement. Yeah, and all the ads were, John Fetterman lived with his parents until he was 43. Legitimately, that's the fucking smear campaign. Do you want someone who lived with his mommy and daddy?

No, I want a guy who fucking Oprahrah had on his show why are you wearing scrubs you didn't come from surgery yeah you came from the studio green room oh yeah there you go let that one go yeah i mean we're we're devolving now i think to the point where like candidates they're just gonna be the most it's it's just going to be maniacs. You're going to have just total maniacs. To run for office, you're going to have to be an absolute maniac. Takashi69 is running soon.

Yeah, pretty soon he'll be up there, yeah. I recognize it. I mean, that guy- Why would you want to be any sort of leader? It's so much fucking, you all think, I'm going to fix this or that, but it comes with so much other dumb shit. Well, you used to have the benefit

of being able to enrich yourself, and we always looked down on that, but now I'm going to fix this or that. But it comes with so much other dumb shit. Well, it used to have the benefit of being able to enrich yourself. And we always looked down on that. But now I'm going like, hey, maybe that was a good system because it gave at least them smart people a reason to get into it so they could insider trade. Right. And we should just look the other way. We should look the other way with what Michael Jackson did with the kids.

We should look the other way. Maybe those were the tokens that made his music good. Those kids weren't going to be special. They had parents. That means the leader of that group was someone willing to give their child over to a known pedophile. Even if they didn't get, even if Michael Jackson

was too ugly for me, that was your leader regardless. You were never going to turn into something valuable. You were never going to turn into top tier. You were always going to be a Walmart greeter. You were always going to be a fucking 7-Eleven employee. You were always going to turn into something valuable right we're never going to turn into top tier we're always going to be a walmart reader we're always going to be a fucking 7-eleven employee we're always going to be that's it the person who served us that coffee yeah exactly and you're doing a good job but your parents will give you to a pedophile if they could yeah a little extra cash so listen it's fine it's fine so i say how about this we got to pay these politicians millions of dollars a year.

Start hiring better and you'll get better employees. I think that's a great. Yeah. If you want to get like a fucking really smart Mark Cuban to run it. Yeah. The job has to pay $500 million a year. Yeah. Well, it does now in like insider trading and tips and stuff.

But now we're coming down on that. So, you know, it's going to be unintended consequence of that? Tekashi 6ix9ine running for president. It used to be like people who were smart and evil, like Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump or fucking George Bush. Now you can't even murder? Now you can't even get

a fucking hooker with her neck cracked? She didn't suck my dick right. Well, she's not going to talk. It ain't about that. Drop her off where the other hookers are. I have a message. This dick is going to suck dry. I'm John F. fucking Kennedy and I'm changing the world. Yeah, I mean, seriously, dude.

It's like, what are we going to do? Tear down Martin Luther King because he was fucking getting pussy on the side? What do you want him to do? That's what they say about. Oh, yeah. Oh, she's fucking some old mugger. Yeah, she runs a fucking. Profit.

Of course you get those titties sucked. That's your fucking benefit. What the fuck else are you going to do this for? Get these fucking honkers sucked. For the people who know the New York comedy scene, they're going to enjoy that one. Okay, come on. Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, seriously, man. you're making a great point. You can't even get consensual sex anymore or paid sex? People have this childish, utopian perspective of the world. Oh, my God. You're an idiot.

You don't think Obama was getting it fucking milked? You're out of your mind. That's a powerful man. You think that dude at home was enough to please him? Nah, dude. He wants an occasional real woman. Good things cost bad. Yeah!

That's a great term. Or to quote the great Robert Moses, you can't make omelets without breaking a few eggs. Robert Moses is wild. He's wild. Like, look, we're going to put, look, you want the pay? Well, look, we're going to have to carve up a couple of black neighborhoods to keep the traffic out of the white neighborhoods. Yeah. What can

you do? You want the nice weather? Give us those tax benefits. There you go. And the Jews will make it shine. Yeah. It's how it goes. Robert Moses, oh, you've lived in that house for generations. Well, we're going to bulldoze it tomorrow to build the Verrazano Bridge. You want pennies on the dollar or nothing? Yeah. It's how it goes. Robert Moses, oh, you've lived in that house for generations. Well, we're going to bulldoze it tomorrow to build the Verrazano Bridge. You want pennies on the dollar or nothing? Yeah.

I mean, come on. Progress has a price. Yeah. And good people usually have some bad qualities. Those Woody Allen movies, you're going to take them from me? Okay, look. Did he diddle his stepdaughter in the attic? Maybe.

I don't know. But that's got nothing to do with Annie Hall. It's got nothing to do with Annie Hall. I'll walk to the curb from here. His daughter didn't come up with that line. Annie Hall didn't diddle anyone. No. The movie didn't diddle anyone.

Yeah. I Believe I Can Fly didn't fuck Aaliyah when she was 12. It sure did not. It did not. Yeah. And if you get a little bit extra beat by smashing a fucking chick's skull into a steering wheel, then you go for it, Chris Brown, because we want the hits. Absolutely.

Where do you think the fucking creative juices come from? That's who you are. Yeah, what do you think? People go to church or do charity and then go fucking dance like Chris? It doesn't work that way. The Reverend Martin Luther King. Are you better than him? No.

And if he wants that dick sucked by hot white sluts, then that's good enough for you too. Nobody's ever achieved anything great without making a nice, sweet deal with the devil. Grow up. Yeah, I have a dream. I have a wet dream. John F. Kennedy used to have hooker pool parties at the White House. That is a fact, but guess what?

He also saved the world from nuclear war during the Cuban Missile Crisis. So what do you want? There's your ying and your yang, you fucking children. Grow up. Fuck the movie star. So did Brad Pitt. what do you want? There's your ying and your yang, you fucking children. Yeah. Grow up. Fuck the movie star. So did Brad Pitt.

Okay, you want to laugh? Ari put out a great special called You, but on the flip side of that, he owns 10 buildings and he's fucking oppressing minorities. Big fucking whoop. Section 8 housing. Deal with it.

Dominicans don't like me, but they don't have internet access. That shit's online. YouTube.com slash Ari Jafir. Go load it up right now. The production of this special was incredible. Drew, you liked it? Yeah, it almost, it was that thing,

you know, it was that thing. Your special's one of those things. It's gonna be one of those things where people are gonna go like, oh shit. It's gonna change shit. Because people are gonna go like, oh, maybe I should make it look good. Because I shot mine for $200.

I decided to shoot it 10 minutes before the late show and i and then i watch yours and i'm like oh that that meant so how what it looked like it does look really good meant something every aspect of it the backdrop incredible. We talked about in the car, the lighting around the balcony, that ornate kind of carving. Yeah, so you can see all the fucking, at the roulette theater, you can really see the fucking carving. Yeah, because of the lighting. It looks so good.

I mean. Thousands of candles we had to get. Yeah. I mean, it just. Lauren had to get it. This is independently produced? Yeah. You did it yourself?

Wow. So you put all the budget into that and none of it into your outfit. But out of Republic. I think you're wearing the same shoes right now. But I am. I got them for this. I was like,

I'm going to get something I can wear. But out of Republic, I am wearing the same shoes. That is correct. And pants. Actually, these are both from the special. Oh, wow.

Yeah, those are the same pants. Yeah. I'm wearing different socks, possibly underwear, and shirt. It's an incredible, it's an absolutely incredible special. God, that looks pretty, huh? It's so funny. It's really good.

And it really pulls the curtain back on the mysterious Jew. I'm hoping to make it so that it just like that it just like normalizes like that religion I think it does that I think it does what comedy does best I think you achieved it I think it brings people together it humanizes it's like hey man

because that's what comedy does at it's best it kind of goes hey we all have different stuff but underneath we're all homo sapiens on this floating ball we have no idea we've made up a bunch of shit or not we believe a bunch of shit but we're all just trying to figure it out when adrian appaloochee had a joke the day after parkland um and uh it's out there enough um i put her album up on my youtube you can check it out actually baby skeletons it's on my youtube um I put her album up on my YouTube. You can check it out, actually. Baby Skeletons. It's on my YouTube.

She's an incredible joke writer. Dark Queen. Very dark. And very funny. The day after. It was Ash Wednesday, so this is Thursday. And everyone's feeling it. This is a bad one.

This is kindergartners. Yeah, no, that was tough. Yeah. Every one time you up it, it's harder. I'm a comedian. I'm going to just preempt this by going, I think she could have waited six months. Yeah.

The day after, she goes, yeah, it was terrible. And what made it even worse was yesterday was Ash Wednesday. And so all these poor kids had targets on their foreheads. And there was a silence in the room for about 10 full seconds. And then such an eruption of laughter such a cathartic like you're not taking a oh anti-gun pro-gun oh it's like it's terrible i'm gonna help you guys laugh for a second it's some ridiculousness right and it just brought us all together into a you're not making fun you're not taking this lightly even it's just like it's that's what comedy can do that's how we deal with this i don't know what to think because let's not let's stop pretending

life is shit life is hard uh you know an offensive joke is going to be the least thing that the least hard thing you're going to have to deal with and yeah comedy does sort of it gives you a reprieve it makes you laugh it's that thing we are everyone laughing together like yeah this was horrible and we're it's it really like brings out the humility we don't know what's going on we don't know where we are we don't know why this is we don't know why this happened let's just all have a moment of emotional reprieve yeah it's it's so it's it's cathartic that's what it is like uh god that's a good joke yeah that's a really good time it still works now but then it was like wow because everyone also remembers yesterday seeing that the sport you know

um jesus yeah she's so fucking great she's the greatest um was that what you were going for when you did a special were you like were you like is that what you were going did you when you were creating a special were you going for that was that in your head or were you just trying to make it? As I did it, it was like really like, it was because I went to Edinburgh and did my storytelling show there. And I saw that they had this theme style hour, but I saw a real weakness in the UK style,

which was seriousness. And so, and I was like, I like what you guys are doing. This is interesting. We don't really do this for hours in America. But it's a giant weakness so you and i worship the same god laughs so like why are you doing 20 minutes of serious in the middle of your fucking hour right and then it's like well we have to tie it together i'm like you haven't answered the question why are you being serious just be jokey the whole way through and so i was like i

want to show them what america is all about so i did two edinburghs in a row and one year i just wanted to show them what an american hour was like just a fucking last no whatever the next time i went i was like i'll show you your theme hours done correctly wow yeah so it was built out of spite right i was i was about to i was the next part of this was about talking about how humble you are but yeah i'm gonna have to put that on pause oh yeah i'm gonna show you how to do it right you fucking amateurs. But there's truth to it. My therapist says false humility is actually arrogance. And I was like, oh, that is kind of interesting.

And you're like, I thought of that. And I think you have that right because I think it's that good. And I'm not just saying that to be obsequious, another good word. Yeah, nice. But I kept thinking, what are you guys going to say? Oh,, another good word. Yeah, nice. But I was like, I kept thinking like, what are you guys gonna say? Oh, he didn't do this right, didn't do that right. So I'm like, you're gonna say I didn't show enough of myself.

So okay, I won't just do about the religion, I'm on my part of the religion. I won't just do, let me do customs, let me do laws, let me do Bible, and let me also- Well, you got competitive about this. Oh yeah. Ironically, you got very Kobe-like. Yeah, oh yeah, dude.

I got that mama mentality. That same stuff that says no i don't have to sit in traffic the same stuff that gets me to build this great hour and uh and so yeah and so a lot of it too is like i want to make this universal like that one line of like you guys also have crazy shit don't think this is just about this this is just my thing but we could hopefully we can all be like i love that one's normal that point because like you could you could you did that twice and it was perfect timing the other time was when you went the second you go uh that's what makes jews the second smartest religion and then there's like a laugh and then you go and they just went korean because you because it's almost like and and you

were right because that's what i was thinking i was going well who does he think is the first yeah and you went korean that's my shortest was thinking. I was going, well, who does he think is the first? And you went, Korean. That's my shortest joke I ever wrote. Yeah. And that was another point when you did the same thing. You kind of got the audience's head and answered the question for them. Because at that point, and you were right, because at that point, you're going like, wow, these Jews are fucking weird. But then you go, you just preempted it and read their mind and went like, you guys got

some crazy shit. Here's a few examples. Looking at it from the outside in? Yeah. Let me see. Well, you're preempted it and read their mind and went like, you guys got some crazy shit. Here's a few examples. Looking at it from the outside in? Yeah. Let me see. Well, you're taking this for granted. Right. Any time for granted.

Right. Or the thing about like Yom Kippur and the fucking chicken and I'm like, to get rid of your sins. Yeah. And then I'm like, you know, there's this. This nation does this. This culture does this. You guys tell it to a rapist behind a counter. Yeah, it was great.

It's like, oh, fuck. It's like, guys, come on. Looking at it from the outside i mean dude think about it the catholics you know what communion is you're eating the body and blood of christ yeah for what for what the fuck is that no we suck we suck them off we eat a piece of skin and that helps us get redemption yeah you're like what is that are you talking about what is that that doesn't even make any sense at all so yeah you were right about that and every religion has those i think i had this my me and my brother went to israel the first

time i went in like a long time and we went to the to the old city and when we went there for seminary we only went to the jewish quarter and then for the first time was like well hey man we're not religious anymore like let's go to the Christian quarter. I'm like, yeah, okay. Went to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Ran into Tom Rhodes. Just there. We're just walking by the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. I was like, Tom? He's like, Ari?

I'm like, what the fuck are you doing here? He's having his mom, who's crazy. But like. What were they doing there? Just checking out. They were on one of those Avi Lieberman tours. What's that? Avi Lieberman does like a tour of Israel.

Oh, comedy, yeah. Yeah. Ian did it Oh, comedy. Yeah. Um, Ian did it too once. But, um, anyway, my brother noticed,

he goes, they have this fucking smoking, like incense thing and they're all doing the motions. And he goes, it's just Jews and Christians. It's the same thing. They all do their motions with their bodies and something that's smoking. And it's from a total outside perspective.

You're like, same thing. Like, no, it's way different. Right. Right. It's like East coast rap, but West coast rap. But if you've never heard rap, you're like no it's way different right right it's like east coast rap but west coast rap but if you've never heard rap you're like oh it's all

it's rap yeah yeah so it's like it's all nuts right yeah the greeks have the incense thing where they go and you're like you're the guy's blessing you're going is he blessed am i getting blessed because of the incense yeah because what's really happening is it's just taking all the oxygen in the room and people faint what happens what i yeah like i was an altar boy happening is it's just taking all the oxygen in the room and people faint. What happens, I was an altar boy, right? So it's like there's no oxygen and they just keep with the fucking incense to the point where there is zero oxygen in the room. And you just see altar boys going and they'll just drop. Yeah, bang. Oh, God.

You see old women fucking passing out. It's not the spirit. They're fucking smoking them into oblivion. There's no fucking oxygen in the fucking room. The fucking fire and smoke is taking it all. You're putting us in a burning building,

which is bad for your health. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, and then we all march outside on Easter. I don't know why. We go outside and everyone's holding candles

and then people just are burning each other's heads as they're walking because we're all filing out. So my brother, who's, you know, he special needs uh easter he just lit a woman's wig on fire like an old woman fucking her head went up like michael jackson in the pepsi commercial and then we just sing christos and esty over and over and over and over again so everyone has these

weird traditions honestly this is what i'm hoping, is to remember this shit. I'm like, oh yeah, my special needs brother lit somebody's wig up. We had to do this dumb thing. Just like examine it. Because you're right. People, when you're on the outside, you start to dehumanize them. There's something that, when something's different, and you don't learn about it or you don't know about it, you start to forget that, oh, these are also human beings just like me.

Suify them. Yeah, you kind of suify them yeah good word ari thanks i read that yeah it looks like you were reading a critique of a farrakhan speech he's good at that oh yeah yeah if you don't know any of them you're just like they're so vastly different yeah but they're not now what's the reaction been from the different tiers of jew because we do have different tiers of jew like you and jesse secular jews yeah for the most part right for the most you fuck women you eat pork yeah you're allowed to talk to goys but you got all the good stuff like you read and you fucking know how to invest in the stock market and all that shit.

Jewish brain. Jewish brain, yeah. Critical thinking. Yeah, people just don't want to admit the good part. And that was another good part of the special. I don't want to give too much away. But I really enjoyed that part where you gave it to the audience. Give us the stereotypes.

You said, what are some stereotypes about Jews? And it was all negative ones. You go, what about the good ones? What about smart? Yeah, what about smart ones. You go, what about the good ones? What about smart? Yeah, what about smart? Funny. Yeah, what about funny? I'm like,

what if I just said stereotypes? They're all negative. That's what they're saying about Kanye. Everyone's like, you shouldn't say that. I'm like, it's weird though.

Nobody's saying you're wrong. You're just saying don't say that. If he said like, you know, Jews with their forearms, people are like, what are you talking about?

But when he says what he says, people like it's just a reaction yeah um um yeah the the response is because i know some high level jews too most of them are totally cool with it the women uh i call them frontier jews that you'll see out like the hasidic jews that see our comedy club like you're allowed to go to a comedy club. Right. They just generally don't. Right. So the ones that do. You're talking about on Stand Up New York on Christmas. Yeah.

Yeah. Or any day. You just see them randomly. Yeah. Come see Modi December 25th with Jared Freed. And not Ari because he's a fucking bad Jew celebrating Christmas with his Gentile wife fucking underneath the Christmas tree.

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18 and over and it ships right to your door anywhere in the United States. But you'll see them, and I'm like, they're allowed to be here. So it's like, you're cool, and I'll keep an eye on the Jewish women. I'll do a joke about their wigs and stuff, and I'll just see if they're offended or not. Same as if you do a black joke, and one black couple, you want to make sure that they aren't mad because you want to be inclusive. So you see the black couple really laughing. You're like, okay, now I know that this is okay. And I always see them laughing. mad because you want to be inclusive so you see the black couple really laughing like okay now i know that this is okay and i always see them laughing and i'm like they're like oh someone's

speaking to our experience so most high level ones are way into it most mid-level ones right and there's some who like this is offensive and it's like it's okay i've justified it you're looking for offense so you'll find it but it's to bring everyone together right right right how about your own family have they seen it yeah they like it my my my sister i had a joke in my last question my sister was mad that was so funny the bacon part uh-huh that was yeah that sister was fine with it she was like thank you at least for not letting him have bacon i'm not stoked you called me a liar but like thank you for not letting my it's always a thin line when you're a comedian.

You're just constantly having to go, I'm sorry. Yeah, it's my experience, but it also involves you. Yeah. It's just part of it. It's the fallout from being a comic. I find myself doing it all the time. I'm sorry, I guess. I talked about you.

I'm sorry. I have to do my job. You'll try to change some stuff to a neighbor. Yeah. You're like, yeah, my sister, I can't remember her name. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I think we're related.

This person I'm related to, who I lived with and grew up with, who also calls my mom and dad mom and dad. Did I hide it enough? There's just no way around it sometimes. And you just have to apologize and go like and then you're just like all right i'm sorry and then now i have to do it uh the same thing now i know before especially i have to prepare someone if it's like borderline i'm like hey just so you know something's coming sorry to me anyway most of them are really cool with it and i'm

really stoked on that and then the best response is people like you it's comics calling me not just like hey congratulations your special's up. But like specific feedback. To be like, I watched it and I got this out of it. Yeah. That feels really good. Yeah, I was hooked from the minute I started it. And yet my buddy Joe Solomon, who is of the tribe.

Yeah, for sure. He said, he's like, I watched it again. And Jesse, I sent it to Jesse, and Jesse doesn't, Jesse communicates, Jesse doesn't try to do as little communicating as possible. He just wants to be left alone in the world to sculpt. And he actually proactively texts it back, like, this special's great. Yeah. And he's a big comedy fan.

Like, it was, this special is just, it's worth going to watch. And like I said, I think it's one of those things it's got all comics thinking like damn i need to like i said it's like yeah maybe i should put some production value into mine and maybe you know the theme was very cool that was a cool thing because now listen specials are not that special anymore it's true and so this is something that might change it like i'm not trying to get ahead but like i know i started thinking like this made it special this made it stand out not just because it was good but it made it stand out because it was about something and you know now everyone's putting up specials most of them suck you know it is what it is but that's fine yeah it's fine too put out cds it was like most of those suck

and this kind of uh this kind of made it stand out a little bit that i had theme it's up to us now what do we want to put out and when? It's all up to us. We never had this, so we're still in this growing period of like, oh, I can do a special. And it's like, okay, but you can do it whenever you want.

You're not waiting for Comedy Central to say we deem you. So it's up to us. So yeah, you can put out a quick one or whatever, and people are like, oh, you should do a shorter thing. You should do 20 minutes. I'm like, okay.

Those are being watched more. I'm like, enjoy that. Is that why you didn't shop it? That's why you just went right to YouTube? are like, oh, you should do a short of that. You should do 20 minutes. I'm like, those are being watched. I'm like, enjoy that. Is that why you didn't shop it? That's why you just went right to YouTube? Yeah, I never shopped to anybody. I was always intended to go up on YouTube. I didn't want anybody's input. I didn't want anybody's... I wanted the most possible people to see it. And 2.1 million in five days

is by far the most people I could get to see it. I inflated it by five. Yeah. But you know, we are, inflation is bad right now. Inflation's bad right now, so it is what it is. The money was tough to swallow, but that money comes and goes.

How much did it cost? Can you not say? I can say if you want, but it's up to you. What, you think I'm gonna say no? I wanna hear it. $230,000. Fuck!

Yeah. The song was 20. The song at the end was 20 i wasn't gonna get the song i love that you went for it it was it was 20 grand i was like i don't know man i'm already pretty broke from this yeah and then i went to see roger waters on acid best show i've ever seen in my life you told me about that yeah start to finish great and then as soon as i was done i called the producer i was like hey sign the deal for the song i want every part of this perfect yeah wow so that had something to do with it seeing roger waters yeah oh yeah this is a great I was done. I called the producer. I was like, hey, sign the deal for this song. I want every part of this perfect. Yeah, wow. So that had something to do with it,

seeing Roger Waters on acid? Yeah, I was like, oh yeah, this is a great experience. Like, yeah, make every part of it fucking as perfect as you can be. Wow.

So if you hadn't seen Roger Waters on acid. I might have just gotten some standard music at the end. Wow. That song was, to me, the perfect song to use. It was the vibe

of Go Down Moses by Louis Armstrong. It was just like, oh, cool, old style, whatever. But it's a non-Jew wow that song was to me the perfect song to use it was the vibe of go down moses by louis armstrong it was just like oh cool old style whatever but it's a non-jew clearly a non-jew singing about a very jewish theme moses and the pharaohs yeah and you're like that's what this is it's for everybody right to go to and the way it's like jumps off as i jump off stage is just let my people go and i'm just fucking done with this right right um yeah i was like yeah you even thought about the credits i mean you you wanted to give everyone credit for the specific yeah specifics help me and like the chick who did the lights lauren helper yeah helper and she fucking killed it i mean you've never seen a special like this a set design that is, I mean, it's not me, it's her.

Her team had to light them all. That's like a thousand candles. 6,000. Yeah. Now, if, if, if,

it doesn't steal focus, but it's still gorgeous. Yeah. And I feel like if Jews were really evil, this, this, and God hated Jews, this would have been the time

that he would have knocked over one of those candles and burned that room to the ground like a Quentin Tarantino movie. Yeah, I think Kanye would have said, see? See? I told you. So the money, I'm getting some of it back on donations. People like, there's that super thanks thing right there to the right.

And then also PayPal, a Venmo with PayPal instead. But the thanks right on the YouTube so people don't have to go to it. It's coming in. Yeah, and you'll make it back. It'll just come back in Google AdSense, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, I've got up to like 20% of it paid off in five days. Whatever.

The point is I just wanted to make something nice. Yeah. Well, it worked. You put it all in, and you put everything into it, and it worked. So the timing, you can't control that. The timing was perfect, and we were talking in the timing you can't control that the timing was perfect and we were talking the car on the way here and you were telling me why you thought what kanye was saying made so much sense to you so can you elaborate i honestly do i thought about it when he goes

we got to go defcon on the jews or defcon and i'm like i asked the crowd because that's how i got my news i'm like what do you what do you mean're like, I think he meant DEFCON. I'm like, I think he meant DEFCON too, but what does that mean? I'm like, we don't know. I'm like, then why do you all write him off as an anti-Semite when you don't really know what it is? That's how jokes do it.

I don't know what that means, but I don't like it because it might mean this. Yeah. And you're like, you don't even. It could have been something good that came after that. I know what it is. He meant, he said it later because anyone will double down if they really believe it.

You ask a hardcore KKK member, he's like, so do you hate blacks? He's not going to be like, no, no, I misunderstood. He goes, yeah. What do you mean? I hate them. He goes, I met Def Con. My spelling is not great. I didn't mean Def Con.

I meant Def. And Def means good in hip hop culture. Yo, this shit is Def. Yeah. And this is what they do in this is they do in news right now unpacking kanye west anti-semitic remarks so the anti-semitic there is an opinion word right it doesn't go in the title so now you're reading it with an opinion already as fact the unpacking is the fact that's what you're going to do kanye west is the fact it's a name and remarks is also or remarks they'll do that sometimes when it's stand-up when they're like oh that's not remarks that's a lie but anti-semitic or racist that's an opinion word in a title which means you can't trust this article

so because it's taken for granted that it is there's no there's no possibility to go was it or was it not right so i think he meant he was gonna fire his well this is the managers this is the adl website so it is kind of our brand. Yeah, it's our brand. We're not looking at a New York Times article, although probably nowadays this would probably be what the headline is as well. Yeah. Although I would say with this specifically, I would say that anti-Semitic remarks are – you could make an argument it's not hyperbole. You could.

I think you've doubled them down into saying it now. Yeah, you could kind of at first he was teetotaling it and now you push him so much you've turned him into a full anti-semitic i just don't want anyone to stop him because it's fun to watch it's so fun from a comedian's perspective it's fun to watch a guy who doesn't is not trying to apologize he's not and he doesn't he's he's a billionaire already because you lost all your money goes no i've lost and here's money yeah here's my yeah i love you here's my favorite part here's my favorite part He's not. And he doesn't. He's a billionaire already. He goes, you lost all your money. He goes, no, I lost new money. Yeah. Here's my favorite part. Here's my favorite part is like I started like, you know, going around TikTok.

And then you start to see these earnest videos of people with the green screen listening to what Kanye says or Farrakhan. And they go and then they go, you see, it kind of makes sense. And a lot of them were black, right? Agreeing with what Kanye say. And then like a day later, Kanye ruins it by going, I now understand how George Floyd's family feels because Adidas ended my contract and they put their boot on my neck. So now I have empathy for the family because my money's gone.

And you're going, oh, now you're spitting in the face of black people too. Keep going. Keep going. Don't stop him. It's so fun. It's giving everyone something to talk about. Yeah. We're nodding each other's of black people, too. Keep going. Keep going. Don't stop him. It's so fun. It's giving everyone something to talk about. Yeah.

We're nodding each other's throats. It's actually very nice. Yeah. It's unifying. It is very unifying. Did you see the clip of him, like, dancing around saying Jews? He was like, and this doctor who, you know, I'm not going to say, but you know. You know what I'm talking about.

You all know, but I'm not going to say. You know what they're up to. It's a minute-long clip, and at the very end, he goes, he was Jewish. He fully leans it and then won't say it, but then he's like, I'll just tell you. Like, how do we know? Here's the thing is. It's wild, dude.

Never stop someone from being crazy. Let them keep going. You know what the funny point is? Like, George Floyd's family is suing him for defamation. Suing who? George Floyd? No, they're suing. No, they can't sue George Floyd.

That's so wrong. I bet you Kanye, that would be something... They're suing Kanye for defamation? They're suing Kanye for defamation for saying that George Floyd died of fentanyl. They're saying slander. Yeah, they're saying he died of fentanyl and not from having... Kanye West

is saying George Floyd died of fentanyl? there's video yeah no there's video yeah was was was fentanyl on the guy's knee yeah no yeah fentanyl here's the thing fentanyl could have played a role in his distress obviously but that the cops weren't helping him and they continued to just knee on his neck after he's gone I can't breathe i mean obviously obviously that that was what you know that's what did it so but kanye yeah kanye watched candace owens documentary and and he just agreed he goes look he died of fentanyl he didn't the cop was kind of just going the cop is just doing his job everybody who said exactly everybody watches documentaries like i watch this documentary and it's like oh it's a one-sided argument yeah it just seemed like fact that's every documentary absolutely i know what happened in 9-11 now because of documentaries.

I know all this stuff. He just caught one that caught the world's ire. It's like, oh, don't load up one that might make you think the Holocaust wasn't real. You will think it. You'll think Bigfoot's real. No one will be mad at you. But if you think the Holocaust is Bigfoot, you're in trouble. They're all fun.

It's like adults, Dungeons and Dragons. I get it. A lot of people are bored. The only fun thing they do is go to Panera Bread once a day. I, too, if that was my life, I would fucking get on the net and I'd find some fucking cool shit to get into and make some new friends. Yeah. Yeah.

Make some friends. That's QAnon. It's a fun thing. It's a fucking adults group. Dude. It's a meetup group. Yeah. You know, might as well get some Soul Joel tickets and. Dude. It's a meetup group. Yeah.

You know, might as well get some Soul Joel tickets and go see me. Might not. Might not. Let's do Conspiracy, the Tinfoil Hat podcast all day, all day. He tried to give 500 grand to Kyrie Irving, to the ADL, and they wouldn't take it. They wouldn't take it. They're like, we don't need your money. Yeah. Which increased the stereotype.

They're going, look, they have all the money. They don't need more. Oh, right. Yeah. See, that's what backfired. I like to say this. Kyrie Irving, I'm broke. Yeah, pay for the juice special.

I've literally spent half my money on this shit, and I need money desperately. The donations are coming, but not fast enough. Give me that, dude. Give me that fucking money. I will forgive you. I'll take you out to a nice cat's dinner. Give me that money, bro.

You will be forgiven. There you have it. If you're decent at math, you just learned that Ari is worth $500,000. That is my price. So there you go. Ari's career is proof that the Jews do not run Hollywood. Now, the funny thing is,

Kanye's going to need a lawyer in this defamation suit, and of course, he'll probably be represented by a Jew. He'll have to be. He'll be crazy not to. He'll be crazy not to. You got to get the best of the best. Yeah, I don't think so.

Yeah, what are you going to do? Get your ex-wife to do it? That's right. She's a lawyer now. Good luck with that. Yeah, supposedly she's a lawyer. He's mad because the last time he had surgery, when he had that wired shot, that jaw wired shot,

he had a non-Jew do it. And that's why, who wouldn't just give him dental surgery? Who fucking wired you fucking shut? It's fucking non-Jewish shit, bro. Yeah, look, if you're gonna be anti-Semitic, don't do it when you need a doctor. Yeah, save it, save it.

Save it for after whatever Jewish doctor fixes you. Can I say this? I've never gotten support on this. If blacks were the original Jews, right? And they're the real Jews. What do you mean if? Blacks are the original Jews. Well said.

Good point. Thank you for checking me. I'm just here to be your editor. Yeah. And we're faking it. We're trying to steal the clout of the blacks who are the real Israelites. Hey, real Israelitesites where were you

during the fucking holocaust you were oddly quiet while you let us take a lot of the heat on the fucking we hate the jew shit if you're the jews speak up and you say i'm spartacus now's the time you were real fucking silent mom's your word and i will add an addendum to that okay a footnote if you will um if there's someone who was good at identifying jews yeah let's just say that nazis may became experts at it yeah they were definitely seeking it if you were jews they would have found you yeah they were definitely looking for all of them oh yeah they wanted all of them oh yeah a lot easier to identify a black than a fucking just one nose. Yeah, it's easy.

If we're looking at you dead on, you can't spot us. Yeah. Side? Oh, there we are. Yeah. During the Holocaust, you guys took, what did you do? You took your yarmulkes off and put your baseball hats with the tag still on them on. Dude, take that hat off.

It's a really bad time for us. Take that tag off. No, I can't. It's stylish. Pull your fucking pants up. There's a really bad time for us. Take that tag off. No, I can't. It's stylish. Pull your fucking pants up. There's a holocaust going on. Don't do this now. That's a very good point, Ari.

Where were they during then? Why weren't they preaching on the street going, Reed, we're the Jews. It's all these people going like, oh, the comedy store should let more women in. Where were you when it was a failing club? Right. When there were six people in the audience.

None of you were beamed down the door. Now that we made it successful, you're like, oh, us unfunny fucking chicks want in too. We have some funny chicks. You're not necessary. How important do you think it is for comedians to stay humble? Oh, yeah. We're talking about that.

Yeah. Massively, right? Yeah. They lose it when they fucking get too into themselves. Are you going to change after the success of Jew? Yes. I'm going to cut out a lot of people in my life. Losers.

Middle acts. Open micers. Openers. Half the headliners. Out. Yeah, I'm only hobnobbing with the rich and powerful from now on. Cuba Gooding Jr., welcome home. Yeah, he's been exiled, right?

Cuba? Yeah, he didn't get canceled, Cuba Gooding Jr. Why? Because of the missile crisis? No. No, yeah, I never thought of that, actually. Yeah, his name is Cuba. Yeah, he got me too'd.

He got me too'd away. He got me too'd. But you'll bring him back? Yeah. You didn't even know that. I love how you're kind of oblivious to the news. I don read the news yeah it's been over two years and you still do you still have a phone you still have a flip phone or what are you back i will not i'll be no i'm back to the thing i gotta go back to a flip phone yeah um i won't if it comes up i like look away from it

i never turn it on that whatever and i just ask like it's more fun conversationally like you tell me about it so when we're at a bar like do you hear about afghanistan like no what happened like you could break all the news to me instead of having your own opinion already formed right more fun conversation that way and most of them i just get bored and ask people talking they they realize like oh this doesn't matter right right so anyway what did he do wrong yeah he uh he pled guilty to forcibly touching women groping or forcibly kissing three women he violated three women and he pled guilty to forcibly touching women groping or forcibly kissing three women he violated three women and he pled guilty to it so he was actually there was actually a court case on it but he will serve no prison time after he took a plea in forcibly groping show me the money yeah but he's

done with he's done acting this was 2019 well he. Well, he got, he got me too hard. He got me too hard. Yeah, this was a hard one. I think it was overshadowed by COVID. I think, I think it was overshadowed by COVID because this happened in 2019. Late 2019 though? Yeah. Wait, what's the prison?

He went to court for this? Yeah. Wait, 30 women? Prosecutors say 30 women have... Ooh, that's not good when it's 30. That's not good. Look at that soul-sucking Jew next to him. Yeah, look at that. Oh, look at that.

Oh, God. Yeah, I'll defend you. I said that, I've got money. I'll defend you. That's an Italian and a Jew on either side. Look at the fucking head of hair of the Italian and the fucking vampire-like Jew. side. Look at that fucking head of hair, the Italian and the fucking vampire

like Jew. Vancouver Jews like it's just like saying like, yeah, this is what I associate. It's what it is. God damn it. I look like he's got that. Look, I would have got away with it if it wasn't for those measly kids. Yeah. As long as I don't have to pawn Miami, my Oscar.

So go check out the special. Thanks, bud. Yeah bud yeah jew it's on your youtube channel on youtube right now yeah youtube.com and guys all you gotta do is just click on it right now and then get back to it later if you click on it now youtube will remind you like oh hey you started watching this so just go right now just click on our just irish jew and the fucking especially if you're watching this on youtube as you you should watch and subscribe to Giannis' podcast, Long Days. There you go.

That's all you gotta do. Right there, boom. Subscribe to Giannis and then go, Irish for Jew, hit play and then go do your day. Thank you.

Do that. Yeah, all the Ari fans, please click sub. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm pretending like I'm having you on to promote the special,

but I'm really just doing this for the algorithm. Yeah, it's like, you know what he's been talking about? I was like, yeah, you already been like I'm having you on to promote the special. I'm really just doing this for the algorithm. Yeah, it's like, oh, he's being talked about? Yeah, he's being talked about? I gotta get a Jew on. And he's got a special named Jew? Fucking perfect. This is a good episode.

We had some fucking nice fucking moments here. This was great. This was great. But no, in all earnestness, it is one of the best special of all time. And I'm not saying that I'm going to go all time. This was that good. I enjoyed it. I'm a comic so it's hard for me to watch any

comic to watch anything. You know when comics are saying it's good, it's good. All comics are gossiping about this because it's that good. It's just you pured it, man. Like you said, you pured it. I saw that clip when you were on Rogan talking about how that's what you try

to do is try to get the you know just try to serve the art form and try to fucking what were you you were fucking doing some ayahuasca yeah doing some moments in your life yeah nail something perfectly and like those are the moments yeah fucking worth anything in the world just trying to nail it perfectly as an artist you know you another thing that you found out just like putting the music in this while you were doing some non-ad adult have no responsibility arrested development shit doing drugs behind a fucking garbage dump with luis j gomez so if you want to be a great artist guys fucking get your balls clipped off and go do ayahuasca in fucking mexico and disappear to taiwan for 16 years It's all so close to right.

Congratulations, man. This is incredible. Thanks for coming on. Yeah, for sure. I want to give a shout out to our small business Patreon members. Wendy Ordonia. She is a very cool artist. You have to go to her website and check out her art. She's very good, and she does portraits.

She can do one of you. She can do one for somebody else. It'll make a nice gift for the holidays and beyond. Go to wendyziminastudio.com. Wendy Zimina Studio, Z-I-M-E-N-A. Wendy Z-I-M- That's an X. Go to Wendy X-I-M-E-N-A, wendyziminastudio.com

and find everything out about the process that you need to know and take a look at her work. Make this holiday season really special. This is a very cool gift. Go support her. Support art and give somebody a very cool gift. It's very cool. She's really good.

I want to give a shout out finally to our long time shout out member bensmithstudios.com That's one of his pages. And what does he do? He's been a supporter forever and I really appreciate you, Ben.

You're my dog. Let's take a peek at what he does work. What does he do? I mean, the guy's doing good. Oh, he's got stuff cooking. He's got stuff cooking. He does all types of stuff.

What is this? Collaboration with Stella McCarthy. Oh, this guy's doing good. This guy's doing good. He does, like, art stuff with sneakers and stuff. What is this? Yeah, it looks like it. Yeah.

K-T-I-H. Oh, dude, can I get a pair? I mean, what's up? Talk to me, Ben. Send me a pair of these joints. Go check out bensmithstudios.com. I mean, he's doing real stuff. I mean, that's why he's sending the money.

He don't care because he's doing good. Can you pull up his thing again? No, pull up his message again. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. I i love this what does he do he never even says i'm just he's oh he designed he just designed sneaker he does all types of collaborations like fashion collaborations he's a he's a he's an artist he's a designer um you get some long days kicks yeah get some long days kicks ben smith what's up talk to me dog go check out bensmithstudios.com very cool very cool stuff send some kicks to uh to us my friend and we'd love to

do a collabo with you brooklyn cannery uh man me and my wife had a couple of ginger beers last night telling you the truth brooklyncannery.com promo code ynis Pappas for 15% off your order. The prebiotic sodas are very good. They're extremely good. Low calorie, all natural sweeteners. Good for your gut. It's a no-brainer. Don't drink regular fucking mainstream sodas. Drink these sodas instead and you'll just be healthier.

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whatever you're trying to grow nate will help you uh chris minetti he ain't fucking going nowhere chris fucking minetti chris fucking minetti call him up 750 call him up you passed it 750 i used to have it by heart I think I do What is it? 750-3730 That's 215-750 Where the fuck did it go? You scrolled past it

Right there 215-750-3730 That's it No website No other way to fucking contact Our buddy Chris Minetti in the South Jersey, Philly area. In fact, it's worth the drive if you have a questionable check to cash.

Just do the money. How much gas it's going to take you? Here, go with a fake check and try it. Chris Minetti will cash your goddamn check at Minetti Financial Services. Chris Minetti, 215-750-3730. For the free, forthefree.art. You know the deal. Music in Hawaii, my friends.

Check out their website, and you'll find all these cool local bands, shows, and everything about music in Hawaii. And then, of course, exclusiveautoshipping.com. Our boy Jared, if you're moving your car anywhere in the United States, they will move it. They got military and student discounts, and that's the dollars.