Yannis Pappas Hour - Back flipping Robots - LongDays with Yannis Pappas - Episode 34

Episode Date: August 22, 2021

On this episode Yanni delves into woke and Alt right Dinosaurs and what really extinguished them it was no asteroid cuz, hint it’s got something to do with the dinosaurs in another hemisphere, Wasdadealis. He also dives into the hottest new Twitter account The Taliban, gov Abbot Regeneron treatment, Pete Davidson Smart Water ads and Awkwafina’s blackcent and R Kelly’s remix of Epstein’s album.   Sponsors:   https://www.manscaped.com Promo code: fumes   https://www.talkspace.com Promo code: fumes   For an additional bonus episode every week and more Yantent, click here and support the show: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays   The show goes out every Saturday night at 9 PM est. to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!   Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis Pappas   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, how are you? This is Giannis Pappas. We have an interesting week behind us and hopefully we have a week ahead of us. Who knows, every time you turn on the news, I feel like I'm reading a verse from the Bible, the Old Testament, because this God is a dick. Old Testament because this god is a dick. What happened? Well, scientists have found the asteroid that caused the dinosaurs extinction. It's in Mexico. So we can pretty much assume the cartels are going to smuggle little pieces of that rock in. Afghani refugees are coming to America, make sure you have a appetite for hummus. It's coming to you. Pete Davidson, I fucking drink smart water already, god damn it. How many times I got to fucking turn on Twitter and be asked by you to drink smart water? I fucking love you, guy, but I don't think it's smart water that you're partying with.

What else is going on? Boston Dynamics is creating some fucking backflipping robots for the future and people are scared. Don't be scared of fucking American AI. They can help us in the coming war where we fight invisible Chinese manipulated pantheon soldiers. What does said tell us To the news and cameras To the fake politics And the propaganda Yeah, this kid's screwed in Got a lot to say Aw, shit

It's about to be a long day It's a long day It's a long day coming Now, I'm not sure What the Mexican cartels Are gonna do With the crater that was found Under the Yucatan Peninsula

Is there other cool stuff At the Yucatan Peninsula? It could be a tourist attraction, or this could be Mexican government bullshit in order to get tourists to go to the Yucatan Peninsula and take pictures of a fucking hole in the ground. Who knows? Because, again, scientists are telling us

they discovered this fucking crater. How the fuck do they know what killed the dinosaurs? Why couldn't it have been meth? Why could it have not been meth? Why could it have not been a pantheon developed in a lab that killed the dinosaurs? the dinosaurs. Scientists think that it was a six mile wide

asteroid that hit America. Bang. Started fucking hitting skins with Earth. You know? An asteroid. Maybe that's just gum

shooting. That's just gum. I called God gum. Come on, man. Ah. God damn it. Keep it together, Yanni Bidens. Come on, man. That damn it. Keep it together, Yanni Bidens.

Come on, man. That could just be God shooting his glue on our face. And maybe his glue's just hard, dog. And he hit us, you know? It's just a money shot. So God gave us a money shot, and he hit Mexico, supposedly. And I don't know why they think it was this asteroid. There must have been an

asteroid that caused um the freaking uh grand canyon right which i saw in uh the vacation movie with chevy chase i've never been there who the fuck wants to go stare at a valley people go there and they go oh it's beautiful it's like it's a hole baby i'd rather stare at some puff puff i like holes that are self-lubricated, not ones that are dry and hot and are massive. That's too wide. If I can't stick my fucking average-sized paste in it, I'm not interested in that hole. I like Poth Poth. So why are the scientists?

See, this is this quest to diversify everything right now. See, this is this quest to diversify everything right now. As we know, this is the first census that's been taken where white people are not the majority in America anymore. And it was very funny on The Tonight Show when Jimmy Fallon announced that to set up a joke, his audience clapped. His audience clapped. Race matters.

So whitey is no longer the majority. Unless you're in Connecticut. And then it is raining dunks. Hallelujah. I mean, in Connecticut, they're not just white. I would call them aggressively white. I would call them the whitest people you've ever seen in your entire life. Okay?

You're going to see no socks. You're going to see a few sweaters thrown over a button down. And you're definitely going to see peach-colored shorts. And maybe some sunglasses over the head like that. And there will definitely be a seafood restaurant. That is what the wasps like. And wasps are top tier whites. They're like the thetans of the Scientologists. You can't get whiter than that. You cannot get whiter than that. They're the whitest. So this is just the quest to diversify everything. I don't believe that that was the asteroid.

I believe the asteroid landed in America like Jesus when he came back as Joseph Smith. All right? I like American Jesus, dog. We've franchised everything. We even franchised God. We have our own. Joseph Smith, who is a guy who walked out into the West and convinced a bunch of Amish-looking old white motherfuckers that they can bang a whole bunch of wives,

make a whole bunch of children, and that Jesus came back. Oh, no, that Moses left some commandments somewhere, I think, in Akron, Ohio, that he recovered and put forth unto them. That's what you call franchised religion, baby. I think it was the Grand Canyon that killed the dinosaurs. That was an asteroid that hit that, if I'm not mistaken. And of course, you know, I'm a paleontologist. I am an anthropologist. I am a sociologist and I am a Yossiologist. I'm a Yossiologist. I study Yoss. I can identify queens

right there. Okay. If someone's walking down the street queen queen queen I just go through fucking Williamsburg and I go like this hey queen hey queen

hey queen it is ironic that the kids who back Bernie Sanders the most call women's queens because queens are the opposite of what Bernie's into. Where's Bernie, by the way? Bernie should have executed

the withdrawal from Afghanistan. Okay? You need a good old socialist Jew from Vermont to go over there, flood the streets with Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Anti-Semitic ice cream, by the way. Anti-Semitic. I do not eat Ben and Jerry's anymore.

I do not. Okay? I only eat tabbouleh ice cream. I only eat ice cream that was made by Arabs. I was going to say Habibis because growing up in New York, you're just called a Habibi. It's funny that New Yorkers came up with

to call Arabs Habibis. That's like if they went around, they saw wasps and they were like, there goes a baker. Or if they went around, they saw Jews and they were like, there goes a baker. Or if they went around, they saw Jews, and they were like, there goes a Yoshi. What's up, Ock? Yeah.

Or if they saw a black guy, and they said, there goes a Lidamelian. The best black name of all time. What is the goat black name of all time? To me, I'm going to go Lidamelian. Lidamelian number one. O oj's it's it's an acronym for orange juice um that's not a good one what's another good one rashid is solid but that's like the john of blacks rahim that's like the john another good one i got is I had a friend growing up. His name was Science, and his brother's name was Wise.

So those are two good black names right there. And, of course, Tanisha or Latifa. Latifa's a good one. Tyron Woodley. I like that one. Tyron. Tyron. Tyron or Tyron.

Also good ones. But you got to give it to the LaDamian. LaDamian. You want to say it LaDamian, but I'm going it to the LaDamian. LaDamian. You want to say it LaDamian, but I'm going to go with LaDamian. Jay Harvin, funny comic from Long Island, wants me to know that LaDamian Tomlinson's from Long Island. Did you know that, Jesse?

No, I didn't. Yeah, he's from fucking Long Island, so I would assume he's been to a few sweet 16s, and his daughter will be requesting a nose job at some point soon. So the dinosaurs, who's to say? Who's to say they didn't kill each other?

Who's to say that they didn't die in a dinosaur civil war? Why am I gonna believe scientists that supposedly an asteroid hit kicked up all the dust? This is what they're trying to tell me, okay? This is the bullshit they're trying to tell me. Asteroid hit, kicked up a bunch of dust.

The dust coated the sky, right? Because asteroid hits at like 14 trillion miles an hour. Kicks up all the dust, coats the sky, blocks the sun, freezes everybody out. And the only thing that survived is cockroaches and stand-up comedians. How am I supposed to believe that? that's far-fetched first of all do you know what kind of aim you have to have to hit a fucking tiny earth with an asteroid not gonna happen i believe that what happened is the dinosaurs got

way too political they started getting extreme they started listening to pundits on Twitter who were making increasingly outrageous claims to rile up your emotions the same way when you turn on a Budweiser commercial. There's a beautiful, beautiful dog just galloping next to a horse. A beautiful Kleinsdale right and there's fucking christmas bells christmas bells ringing and it's all in an effort to just give you goosebumps

so you drink beer that when it gets warm tastes like piss tastes like you're licking Jorge Posada's hands before a fucking home game. Yes, Latin American old school baseball players pee on their hands instead of batting gloves. Vladimir Guerrero did it as well. That's what advertisers try to do. Tug at your heartstrings. That's what they're doing.

So that's what happened to the dinosaurs. Okay? The dinosaurs started having these sophist dinosaurs who were pulling them farther to the right and farther to the left and the next thing you know they had a civil war, but then there was an Asiatic dinosaur who was in competition with their Western dinosaur adversaries and the Eastern dinosaur who looked a little more,

let's say, the Asiatic dinosaurs were a little shorter, a little more flexible, a little more meditative in their warlike practices. And their eyes were a little, their eyes, the Asiatic dinosaurs, their eyes just were a little more horizontal because of the desert over there and the way that it kicks up fumes. So they were looking to take out the Tyrannosaurus rex, right? Who were just like these big, the Tyrannosaurus rex. A lot of them talk like that, brother. They're like, what are we doing this weekend?

I'll tell you what we're doing. We're going down to the Pink Lagoon Crock Pit Flamingo to get some barbecue, shoot some pellet guns, and throw a midget on a wall. And the Asiatic dinosaurs were like, oh, boy. They were a little more demure and clandestine with the way that they conducted their quest to take over and what they did

released what they did what they did I would should I develop a fake stutter to stand out as a comedian hey this is

Yanni Longdays welcome what's tell us what's Yanni Longdays. Welcome. What's the... Tell us. Yourself. What's the... What they did was they created

a manipulated microscopic dinosaur that replicates only in Western Tyrannosaurus rexes. And the ironic thing is the tiniest warriors, because the Eastern Hemisphere dinosaurs were already tiny. I mean, average height was a little shorter,

except for one that ended up playing in the dinosaur NBA in the Northern Hemisphere. But the rest of them were really tiny. I mean, like suitcase, you could put them in a modern day suitcase. Back they didn't have suitcases but there was one dinosaur who ended up playing uh tyrannosaurus rex there was a sport that they had where they ate uh crocodiles and he ended up playing because he was about seven four and you know there it was suspected that he didn't have a father either and he might have been created in a eastern hemisphere dinosaur lab to play in the

tyrannosaurus rex mba shut out y'all man and they they wiped out the tyrannosaurus rexes and then they evolved and became the aliens from the future that come back and watch us. Have you ever suspected why do little gray aliens resemble Asiatics more than us? It's because after this COVID plague, the Asians win. And they take over the world. And then they evolve to have to look like ken dolls no genitalia they're at computers and then they become the aliens that come back and visit once in a while so those gray aliens are just coming back in their spaceships to check to see how their ancestors in china are doing with the plan it It's back to the future, but it's the end of mankind. And Marty is President Z.

Because did I just write a fucking movie? Did I just write a fucking movie back to the future COVID? I think I did. movie Back to the Future COVID? I think I did. We tried to fend them off with Boston Dynamic Arcane Metal Robots.

What the fuck are we doing? The Chinese are playing with microscopic pathogens and we're trying to create fucking RoboCop in New England with a bunch of fucking Good Will Huntings going, I fucking, if you're here tomorrow,

go build that fucking robot, Will, at Boston Divefuckonomics with Robert Kelly. I mean, our robots can't even do backflips. They're trying to teach these robots in Boston Dynamics to do parkour, and these motherfuckers can't even do a backflip. Meanwhile, the Chinese robots

can fucking fly across the world and kill everybody. We need better fucking robots. This is Terminator dogs. Like our robot is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Like he's got a chance and their robot is that dude

who never had an acting career after that because much like the guy from Silence of the Lambs, everyone just thought of him as the Terminator. Wild horses ruined a perfectly good song. I can't not tuck my dick back when I hear that song. Wild horses remixed by whatever fucking band it was. I'm gonna say Rod Stewart because my hair looks like his right now.

I know my hair right now makes me look like Hercules after he had a long, drawn-out divorce. Someone just said, comment roulette. I look down, I read what I see. You know the rules. Maggie just said, comment roulette, I look down, I read what I see, you know the rules, Maggie just said, Schwartzer what? Goodbye horses,

I'm crying over you, the asteroid is where people, propaganda to keep minorities, like Sean King down, abso-fucking-lutely, this is a distraction, because they know Sean King's coming out with a fucking fire fashion line and they want to distract the people by telling them that there was an

asteroid that landed on the Yucatan fucking peninsula in Mexico that was six miles wide. That killed all the dinosaurs. If it's true, it would be highly biblical that at the moment we found out how we came about is also the same moment where we're going away. That would be the Alpha and Omega. That would be a nice bookend to whatever story book this is. I think we're just a book for aliens to watch for entertainment. And now they're coming to the end and it's time to go night-night. I think the aliens have turned off their nightlight and they're on the second to last page of their novel called Humans. Because this could be like a high-tech novel that we're all just kind of choose-your-own-adventure characters in.

Who the fuck knows? I'm just a genius. So nice try, Mexico and scientists, to let us know that that's the asteroid that hit the demo. We know that's not how they died. They died from dinosaur COVID given to them by Asiatic dinosaurs looking to dominate first the eastern hemisphere by arming certain dinosaurs that were next to

another country that we were arming it was called dinosaur pakistan and we were arming dinosaur india and then through their dinosaur pakistan those you know it's like those little russian dolls china arms pakistan and then pakistan arms taliban and then Pakistan arms Taliban and then Taliban arms whoever pledges allegiance to cover women up. Because let me tell you something right now. Colombia, you may have that pure cut cocaine, that white lady man. But the Taliban got that pure, uncut Islam, the covered lady man. Oh, Mr. Taliban, Taliban, Taliban, Kubala,

America, go away, and the Taliban come home. You cannot conquer those people, man. That's the story nobody, look, did Biden handle it right? Did he not? Uh-oh, Giannis is using his tweets as material. They got me. Look, you cannot conquer those people, Doug. Much like my ancestors in Crete, Greece, mountain people, ask the Ottomans about the Cretans.

Ask the Germans about the Cretans. Ask the Ottomans about the Montenegrins, a very wild mountain people. One of my best friends in the world, Marko Kripocapic is a Montenegrin, part of former Yugoslavia, unified under Tito, the communist dictator.

That didn't turn out okay. But they're a wild mountain people. They're like the second tallest people in the world, Montenegrins, behind some African tribe. I think the Dutch are up there too, but Montenegrin's number two, I think average height like 6'2",

or something, 6'3", maybe. And they live in the fucking mountains, and the Ottomans could not conquer them. They conquered everywhere around them, could not conquer them. Afghanis are the same way. These people are human goats. They live on the side of a fucking cliff

and shoot down at you, and they live in a dust ball, dog. They live on the side of a fucking cliff and shoot down at you. And they live in a dust ball, dog. They live in terrain that we could not survive a day in. There's nobody in Afghanistan complaining at the Apple store. There's nobody complaining that they got cigar dust blown into their face through their mysterious air conditioner, even though it's COVID. Drew. I'm vaxxed.

I know you're vaxxed. You're vaxxed and waxed and ready to fucking tax. Very nice. It's very fucking nice that the, I can't remember the name of the podcast, but they stole your on notice and they put it on a merch line. Why not? Anyway, they're friends of mine, but enjoy your fucking sales of're on notice and they put it on a merch line why not anyway they're friends

of mine but enjoy your fucking sales if you're on notice what can you do what can you do you can't conquer those people they're unconquerable we spent 20 years there and people don't know the reason why we're pulling out donald trump wanted to pull out because he was like that was part of his policy i think biden is pulling out because he's going, yo. Because let me tell you something, there's one thing America doesn't like doing. It's, we're an empire. We don't like pulling out from our outposts. We pulled out because we can't spend the money there anymore because we're fucking broke, dog. They've legalized gambling everywhere because we're broke. Okay, by the way, I have a new sports podcast called Unleashed

brought to you by BetMGM. The only viable business left besides podcasts is gambling your money. So listen to my podcast with Olivia Harland Decker called Unleashed. If you like sports, if you're a fan of this podcast, I assume you're a guy who's going to listen. Unleashed, go check it out. Brought to you by BetMGM. Gamble responsibly. If you have a problem gambling, there's a number you can call. I will also be tomorrow night, tomorrow night when you see this, I will be the last show at the Connecticut Comedy Festival in Fairfield, Connecticut. It's an outdoor show, so you won't get the Hillary. August 22nd, Sunday, doors open 5 p.m. There's no doors, okay? The people will let you into the grass at 5 p.m. Shows at 6.

If there's some tickets left, go get them. Fairfield, Connecticut at the Scandinavian Club for the Connecticut Comedy Festival. Google it online for tickets. Giannis Pappas, Connecticut Comedy Festival. Come out, Connecticut, and, you know, buy a ticket. I'm sure you can afford it if you live in Connecticut. You go to Connecticut, you wouldn't even know that we were in like a massive pandemic and recession.

Those people are just living another life. Someone just said, I'll pull out and drop some glue gun juice on Yanni's back. Very nice of you to not impregnate me. Our friend Nasser's back. He said, Biden is trying to appeal the Republican base because he's trying to prepare for 2024. You know, Nasser, you're a Nasser.

Hannah Gadsby's on tour in Cabal, the flip-flop feminist. I would assume this would be the time we'd hear from the squad about Afghanistan. You see all these videos of Afghanis trying to hang on to planes, get out of there. Another movie idea, if I may be so bold to suggest another movie idea, called Escape from Kubal, starring Kumail Nan nanjiani who is now an action hero he went from alt scene comic to a fucking mma fighter so he would star in escape from kubal where he would get all those refugees out and safe to Minnesota and St. Louis.

You know? Escape from Kabul. Pete Davidson, I love you to death guy. I don't know what smart water's paying you, but they have fucking taken over Twitter just like the Taliban. You got to love Twitter. You got to love Twitter.

Facebook, obviously they own WhatsApp and Instagram, have banned the Taliban. There's something very funny about terrorist organizations on social media. There's something very funny about terrorist organizations on social media. There's something very funny about them being like, death to Israel, and then there's like a banana emoji. It's very funny that the terrorist organization may or may not have a Patreon page for bonus episodes. And OnlyFans.

If you would like to see, we have an extra bonus behind slicing heads. Our exclusive $20 member. If you want to see journalists with head loss, please join patreon.com slash his blah for more bonus content on the beheadings mass rapes of women and also rounding up people in the square and public executions also uh for five dollar member audio only we show you the 8,000 Americans still left in Kabul who tried to get to the airport while we shoot and defeat, having a good laugh, eating ice

cream cones left over by McDonald's outpost on the American base. $5 only. Audio only. I mean, that's a... Did you see that video of the Taliban working out in the... First of all, dog, United States has spent a trillion dollars in there to set up a fucking budget holiday inn gym in his palace? I mean, that fucking gym looked like it was from the 1980s. I mean, can we not get one Peloton bike in there

for the puppet president of Afghanistan? It's funny too, just because the Taliban's going to be like, they're just like going around with paint and there was like a bunch of stores with women showing their faces and they're just paint. They're putting a coat of primer on over it. So they're just going around to all these Western stores

and just putting a coat of primer over it before they paint it black. It's really funny. They just came in. They're going to be making some new changes. Jesse's familiar with that. It's the same thing when a new CEO comes in. A lot of people get laid off and you bring in a new team. We're in the entertainment business. I can tell you when a new head of development comes in, they freeze all the projects that are in development, fire everyone who is under the old head of development, and they bring in new people.

The talent brand is bringing in new people and whatnot, and they're going to do business a little differently. And they have promised, they have promised CNN and other news outlets that they will respect women's rights. They sent a long internet-style agreement that you can scroll through and initial at the bottom, where in bold they say,

we will respect women's rights. And then in small print under sharia law which means a woman cannot go outside and must obey her husband or bestow the death in a public place of acknowledgement for the people to be scared to be subjected to that and if you're caught drinking alcohol, we will kill your whole family, and death to America, our job is jihad, and we will not stop, until Islam has taken over all of America,

we will start from Atlantic Avenue, even though we've been pushed out, by people who pay high, large prices, gentrifiers, we will make a comeback, and I will open a carpet store on Atlanta Avenue

and we will start the jihad from there. You got to read the small print is what I'm saying. You got to read the small print of what the Taliban are saying. There's a video of them working out. First of all, they're working out in bathrobes.

Here's the thing. The takeover of Afghanistan is not that bad if you just imagine that they're all genies. I just like to think of it as a Disney production where genies have taken over what you'd like to call a country. They're just genies. like to call a country. They're just genies. Well, that's what I told my daughter when the news was on. And

the BBC reporter was like, this is horrible. There's no people. I think with his hair, I should just do the rest of this episode like that. That's what you got to tell your daughters, guys. I don't know if you have seen the movie. What is that movie where the Jewish guy goes around the concentration camps and makes believe to his daughter that everything's like a fairy tale?

Life isn't easy? Life is beautiful. Life is beautiful. That's what you got to do right now with your kids if you have kids. Life is beautiful. So when we turn on the Old Testament, or as you can call it, the news, and they're like there's fires everywhere uh california's on fire utah's on fire greece is on fire turkey's on fire

everything's on fire everything's drier because of man-made climate change and carbon emissions i say hon i say baby girl what's going on is, you know how when daddy and mommy are cooking dinner? Yeah, that's what they're doing over there. It's just a big stove. It's just a big stove, baby girl. You know when daddy and mommy are cold in the winter and they have that little fireplace and they put that on? Yeah, it's just people are cold.

And she's like, daddy, how come Greece in the summer, though, it's 90, 100 degrees? And I say, yeah, they still get cold because they have thalassemia minor. Okay, they have thalassemia minor, which is endemic to our people. And so they get chilly. Their hands get a little cold. So they just set their forests on fire and relocate their citizens for warmth. The people are living on the street like stray dogs because they're cold.

And then she says, Daddy, Daddy, what's going on? Why are they saying that the children are getting this thing that kills people? No, no, no, no, no. That, no, no, no, no, no. That is just, okay, you know when you go to the doctor and he gives you a little shot? Okay, you know when you go to the doctor and he gives you a little shot? Okay, that's just, honey, the Chinese are trying to kill us all.

I can't lie to you anymore, okay? That's why me and your mother have moved to a mountain and we bought 15 guns and started voting Republican. You can only lie so much. I got to let her know who her enemies are going to be. I'm going to be dead when she's fighting on the front lines as a female trans Marine against these fucking genetically engineered Chinese soldiers. CCP China.

Not Ali Wong. Not Queen Ali Wong China. Do not take a clip of this, Seth Simons, and call me a racist who is against Asian hate, who is for Asian hate. I'm against it.

CCP China, not Ali Wong China. Those are good people. A lot of them are good people. Some of them, some of them want to see America fucking fry in a pit, but a lot of them are good people. Some of them, some of them want to see America fucking fry in a pit, but a lot of other good people. You know, fellas, there's only one way to mow down your fumes if you are a Yanni Long Days fan.

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with the promo code fumes at talkspace.com. Go get the help you need. There ain't no shame in it. Always be proactive about your mental health with Talkspace. By the way, this is a good one. Drew, can you go to my Twitter? While we're on the conversation of Asians. Comment roulette, Bobby Lee is the enemy. Comment roulette, I look down, I read what I see from the fans who are watching live. By the way, we're going to be reading on air the best and funniest reviews from iTunes. We got one funny winner who I will read next week. So go to iTunes, rate and review the show,

and write a positive review and or funny review. It really helps with the algorithm. The Greek Bastard wants us to know, I thought their robes were able to turn into parachutes when they fell off the airplane. Oh my God. That's the danger of comment roulette, my friends. I'm on your Twitter, boss.

Yeah, I disagree. I don't think the robes could turn into airplanes. I just thought they had carpets that can fly to Cincinnati. Are all those booked or are they rolled up? Vasta dollars. Vasta dollars. Vasta dollars. Okay, can you read me that last Awkwafina?

What was her quote? I refuse to do accents. I'm not okay with someone writing the Asian experience for an Asian character. I make it very clear. I don't ever go out for auditions where I feel like I'm making a minstrel out of our people. Awkwafina. Awkwafina.

The star of something from Queens on Comedy Central. Now, is there any way, Jesse, we can play that clip for the people? Yeah. Maybe we'll just put it in post? Yeah, play it on. Now, let's play that clip for the people? Yeah. Maybe we'll just put it in post. Yeah, play it on. Now let's play that clip. Just put it up to the speaker. Now here's Awkwafina on her show.

There's Drew COVID. He's letting us know. Jesse, the jihadi behind the camera. You look like a jihadi with your beard, cuz. Are you ready? Is Zi Ziad's sandwiches still there? No, they're gone. They're gone. They made a good dirty, though. Me and Jesse would call sandwiches at two in the morning after we drunk. We just call them dirties. That's a bodega sandwich is called the dirty. Okay, so here's Awkwafina, who will never, ever do an accent

that will make a minstrel of her people, but she does not mind doing this. Follow the queen, live your dream, but don't sleep, don't sleep, because she might disappear, right? Wait, right? She can't back down, she likes you. All right, let's hit it,

and we're following the queen, and we're following the queen. That's Awkwafina That wasn't Miss Pat Can we pause it by the way? Yeah, so that's Awkwafina doing a, I guess you'd call it a ghettoized or urbanized black voice. She's playing three-card Monty. And also playing three-card Monty while she did that voice. Hustling.

Which I think is, for the record, I think it's okay. I think whatever's funny, do whatever you want. I mean, come on. Yeah, I mean, there okay. I think whatever's funny, do whatever you want. I mean, come on. Yeah, I mean, there are some people who sound like that, have fun with it. A few of them might have done the card thing. It doesn't matter. It's fiction.

It's not a big deal. Everyone's too sensitive. But I just, the interesting part of that story was her statement. Her statement that she categorically, I, Awkwafafina want to say i too am a black person oppressed i to emma berliner i to understand what it's like to be oppressed as the most successful minority right now in america and the most accepted in the Ivy Leagues.

I want to say I, too, know what it feels like to be an oppressed minority, and therefore I will not do any minstrel voices that are written in by writers, but I will do it about the actually oppressed people. Mavri! That's Pretty good. That was just a hodgepodge JFK.

Now Jay Harvin wants to know, can't copy the Asians, but you can copy blacks, which is funny because when it comes to homework, it's usually vice versa. I'm going to write that one down. Because, I mean, I may have to call in Jay Harvin open for me or maybe me open for him Jay Harvin with another banger go go follow him at Jay Harvin 15. he's

a kid from the island who happens to be my free very funny so Aquafina out there, you know, spitting a little, she also came up as a rapper, which is hilarious. My bad. Yeah, which is like, I mean, isn't that breaking her rules of cultural appropriation?

These are her rules. I think anyone can do whatever the fuck they want. But I'm just asking, if I were to sit her down, if we were to put her in front of the fucking AOC woke human rights council,

would she not be guilty of cultural appropriation for naming herself Awkwafina and doing that rap? First of all, she should be in the human rights AOC prison just for the fucking rhymes. Fuck the cultural appropriation. It was shit music. And it was supposed to be like kind of half funny. That's what shit music people do Like the other fucking kid who's actually pretty funny Oh dick not little dicky and not fucking the guy who's got a regular name I'm not calling you a regular name Jack Harlow. You're not a fucking writer from the 50s You're not a beatnik pick a fucking rap name. What are you? Little Honky? Little Donk? Or Little Casper? I ain't calling you fucking by your government given name.

This is rap. There are fucking rules, Jake Harlow, you fucking white devil. You can't just come in and change the fucking hip hop rules. And you have to have a fade, motherfucker. You got full fucking jerry curls. That's not rap. You should be in prison

for fucking true white cultural appropriation because if you get white, you got to go Eminem and have at least fucking three black friends in your fucking videos. And you got to hate your mom

and you got to at some point have some type of low fucking cut. You can't just be rhyming while your hair moves. Your hair is not allowed to move when you're rhyming, Jack Harlow. Who the fuck do you think you are having people call you Jack Harlow? Sounds like a novelist.

I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, man. Was there going to be another white rapper named Cary Grant? Jay Harbin, can I get a fucking ruling on Jack Harlow? Doesn't he need a fucking name? I come from an era where they had a name, dog. Bill L. I didn't say, what's up, Lamont? I said, what's up, Bill L?

I'm breaking my own rules, though, because Eric Parrish was his name from EPMD. Big Daddy Kane. Eminem. Jay-Z. Cool G Rap. Cool G Rap. You're supposed to have a name. Queen Latifah.

Queen Latifah. That is a rule. Your hair cannot move if you're dropping bars. So Zach Isis, cut your fucking beard. Zach Isis. Zach your fucking beard. Zach Z, the dropout, by the way,

is the one that created the intro song for this. Go follow him. Kid's got bars and he's a fucking Arab. Jay Harvin wants to say, no Jack Harlow slander. Will be tolerated. You save that for Chet Hanks. Good point.

But Chet Hanks is hilarious. I mean, he's Tom Hanks' son. I mean, how funny is that? That Chet Hanks is rolling around going, you feel me? And he's fucking Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson's son. If you don't know Rita Wilson, who happens to be Greek. So that's why I love Chet Hanks. Because he's fucking Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson's son. If you don't know Rita Wilson, who happens to be Greek, so that's why I love Jet Hanks, because he's part Greek. Rita Wilson is, I think, half Greek.

Tom Hanks has converted to Greek Orthodox. They're sort of like a Greek hero couple. A lot of people think Tom Hanks, the actor, but what a lot of people don't know is a lot of these actors become producers, and then they become some of the most powerful people in Hollywood. Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks have a production company that in addition to him being a movie star makes him one of the most powerful people in Hollywood. The kid is fucking loaded and has pull and he has not helped me one fucking bit. I'm a Greek. What's your problem? Help me Greeks. And his son Chad Hanks is rolling around with motorcycle.

I mean it's fucking hilarious. He's rhyming. He's hitting his cheek off of asses. He's making videos where his face in between like. Where ass cheeks are just hitting him. And he's crip walking. I mean Tom Hanks' son knows how to crip walk. That's pretty funny, Jay Harvin.

Fucking funny kid. Jay Harvin 15. Follow him on Instagram. Jay Harvin, we got to get you on a fucking stage. I love Giannis. Is that enough? It's not enough, Yeezy. Jack Harlow, pick a fucking name or I'm going to reconvene the Decepticons from the fucking early 90s in New York and we're going to come beat you the fuck up. I'm going to steal your fucking hat, Jack Harlow. You're not allowed to rhyme with a name, Jack. If you can rhyme, there's God. I need to be scared to steal your hat.

If I'm not scared to steal your hat, you can't rhyme. The rules can't change. Jack Harlow. What are you, a fucking poet? You expect to see the name Jack Harlow on the back cover of a book.

Who's that? That's Jack Harlow? He looks like me right now with glasses on. He looks like fucking Long Island Larry. I am Long Island Larry. What's going on? There's things out there? I can't go outside. There's MS-13 on the windows.

Who's that, Jack Harlow? I'm scared. Do I got enough time to go to Siasset? Can I make it to Siasset? I can't even go to Huntington anymore. You can't go to Huntington anymore because MS-13 is everywhere. I got to go to King Cullen and get some ham.

I'm not going into the city. Are you crazy? You see what's happening down there? I stay out here in Plainsville. I'm in Plainsville here. I had a bagel this morning. I could have sworn they were day-old bagels. Chris Weidman.

Chris Weidman's my favorite MMA fighter. I'm scared. There's birds of prey out there there's people on the roads it's dangerous out there my name's Long Island Larry are you from Bethpage? are you scared to go outside? are you from Long Island?

Long Island people it's a parody of Long Island people who I'm familiar with now that outside are you from Long Island Long Island is Long Island people it's a parody of Long Island people who I'm familiar with now that my wife's from Long Island they just are scared to go anywhere they want to stay on the island and they're scared

that MS-13 is everywhere who's that Jack Harlow yeah Jack Harlow looks like who's that you sound just like that's South Park

Kyle's cousin oh that's Kyle's cousin that's right one of the funniest South Park, Kyle's cousin. Oh, that's Kyle's cousin. That's right. One of the funniest South Park episodes is when he just breathes. Long Island is Connecticut without money. Very good point. Except for Muttontown and the Hamptons. That's true.

Comment roulette. Yanni, if you want to feel better, you got to YouTube Jack Harlow's old high school music videos and it'll make you feel better. We will take a peek at that and I will talk about it next episode. Somebody said, as far as the Afghani refugees go, the Greek bastard wants us to know that Aladdin on a carpet to Cincy. Jay Harvin said, this kid knows Long Island better than the Native Americans that our ancestors displaced. The kid is funny, dog. The kid is just dropping gems. When are you going to be on an Icos yogurt commercial? I don't know, Grant Trower.

When are you going to drop the third from your name, you wasp? I know you live in a house where there's a fucking picture of your grandfather in the foyer, you cocksucking wasp. Danny Cohen, my good friend Danny Cohen says, "'Yannis, your hair, yes, puffy Yannis, yes." Have you ever done the backstroke, yes? Do it with me, this is called the Yanni backstroke. Backstroke.

Yanni backstroke, Yanni backstroke Backstroke Yanni Backstroke Yanni Backstroke yes yes yes yes yes do the backstroke yes with me yes yes now speed it up you're trying to get win the race yes yes yes yes yes yes yes Did I win? The backstroke Yas is a hit, and I can't say backstroke. Because I'm having a stroke. The backstroke Yas. Danny, if somebody says some bullshit, you hit them with the backstroke Yas. Yas, Yas, yes, yes.

Work. So I don't know Pete Davidson. I mean, Pete Davidson is selling fucking more smart water than the Mexican cart cartel is buying weapons from americans how funny is that we buy cocaine from them they buy arms from us it's a pretty even trait talk about a quid pro quo do you think we should have like a immigrant combine on the border? You know, like the NFL combine? But instead of like how fast you can run, how high you can jump,

there's like contests for how much drywall you can put up and how quick. And whoever does it good gets drafted. He's going to the Northeast. Yeah. Yeah. Pedro, Pedro. Pedro did well, man. He put up a 440. Four pieces of drywall in 40 seconds.

Yeah, he got drafted by New Mexico. What's the DOS? What's the Discord that I can plug where is our discord i am the leader of this cult of hyena long haulers and i don't even know what the link to my own discord is omar you crazy muzzy he's at one he's the fucking leader of the long haul gang over at patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. What is the Discord link? Go join my Discord. Wherever it is. So R. Kelly.

R. Kelly. He is, God, he's got a lot of charges, man. I mean, talk about a guy. You know, just like there's a, you know, just like there's a black, what's that movie, Funeral? Something at a Funeral?

Death at a Funeral? Just like they made a black remake of death in a funeral the movie r kelly has made a black remake of epstein it's pedophilia for the hood um yeah who knew that he married alaliyah when she was nine? Yeah. And then sent her to die in a plane crash so she wouldn't squeal. I did know that. You did know that?

Yeah. Yeah, that's my conspiracy theory. Omar wants me to check my damn DMs. Can you send Drew right now on his Instagram the Discord link? Can you find the Discord link? Yeah. RKelly's got what

like fucking 17 charges right now of child trafficking but yeah the two boys he said his defense is they were groupies this was R. Kelly's defense

the two boys who've come forward I don't know if he was fucking them I don't know if they were facilitating the children but the two boys who've come forward i don't know if he was fucking them i don't know if they were facilitating the children but the two boys have come forward and so two of them are boys that are that are testifying against him and he said they were groupies that changed their tune because of the me too movement so r kelly i think you need to stop acting as your own lawyer. Talk to me, Drew.

Do you want to hear his wide array of crimes? Well, Omar says, I refuse to talk to Drew. He has COVID. I have COVID. Because you came in here sneezing and ran into the bathroom for 40 minutes. I sneezed once and I had to wash fucking,

everything was in my eye, burned. Okay, either you have COVID or you had massive diarrhea because you came out sweating too. bathroom for 40 minutes once and i had to wash fucking everything was in my eye burn okay either you have covid or you had massive diarrhea because you came out sweating too i don't know that was from the car dude fucking cars broke drew's mom by the way uh two weeks ago made us delicious spanakopita and we had she'll make the original one too for you tell her to bring it like the one you look like she also has no idea who john stamos is, which was hilarious because we tried to do the bit. And she was like, I loved you on Family Mattis. She was like, I loved you in the movie The Godfather.

I told her to say, I tried to make her think he was John Clooney. If you can't understand Drew, it's because he's speaking through a mask that we forced him to wear. Yeah. Okay. Jesse's part Ashkenazi Jew, which means he's of the smartest people of the earth, but he's also a little vulnerable.

You do sound like Kyle's Kyle. Keep that fucking muzzle on, you goddamn dirty Jersey City fucking freak. Did you catch any child predators this week? No, but there has been child predators caught. i just didn't go you're out there doing your vigilante justice which is illegal but i supported 100 as long as you guys can get 100 000 youtube hits it is illegal to be a vigilante yes but you're taking out child

predators who have english as a second language and underserved market so you know you never see have English as a second language, an underserved market. So, you know, you never see, they're never on Chris Hansen's show because, you know, the market for that show speaks English. But if you speak Spanish, Drew is doing the equivalent of To Catch a Predator, but it's on Univision. So if you want to go to YouTube Español, you can watch Drew and his buddy. What's his name? Rami.

Rami catch English as a second language predators in Jersey City and around the Jersey area. Where else? Newark. And Newark as well. Well, Chris Hansen does it in Connecticut. That's what. Chris Hansen's a racist for not paying attention to that underserved community, which you are. You're doing. And I appreciate that. He's a racist for not paying attention to that underserved community, which you are doing, and I appreciate that.

He's a bad person. Jets wants, JJJJets is asking me, Yanni, did your caretaker forget about your hair today? The Greek bastard wants people to know that he speaks Spanish. JayHarvin15 wants people to know, kid was trying to catch predators, but he caught COVID-19. It's not even underage because it's 19. Jay Harvin's got jokes, guys.

Jay Harvin. Is he Jewish? No, he's a black kid from Long Island, and he needs to be a mainstay in this chat because he always rips it. Oh, man. R. Kelly. R. Kelly putting out that fucking Epstein remix.

Putting up numbers. I mean, he's putting up numbers. Drew, how many accusations total? I mean, we're in the teens. Pun intended. His accusations coincidentally match exactly the age of the people who he raped. Okay, so. 16?

20 Jane Does and one teenage. 20? So what's the problem? John Does. Legally an adult. No, 20 Jane Does. 20 Jane Does. Like 20 accusations.

20 Jane Does. So he's got 20 accusations and he's accused, I think, of like having a ring and like having them facilitated. Do you want to hear them? Yes. Sexual exploitation of a child, bribery, kidnapping, forced labor, sexual trafficking across state lines, and Kelly has pleaded not guilty to all charges.

He's fighting. I plead not guilty. I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch your child. I think about the kids night and day. I unzip my pants and spread the cheeks. I believe I can beat the case. And it also says, yeah, in 1994, when Aaliyah was 15 and he was 27, they got married.

So that's pretty weird. So he married Aaliyah when she was 15 and he was 27. How the fuck was R. Kelly allowed to marry? Did they get married in Kabul, Afghanistan? I think it was. How the fuck was he able to marry? What pastor looked the other way? I mean, I think that's a Christian

taking turning the other cheek a little too seriously. Can you Google what fucking country they were married in? Because that shit only happens in Afghanistan. You can't just fucking marry a 15-year-old in Akron, Ohio.

Imagine how many times R. Kelly has bent over and spread them so far. Thanks, Mark Pellerini. You're going to laugh. Ready? Here we go. Wait, we got a funny one. D. Donnell Lee wants us to know, Remix to Ignition, got the kids in my basement. Good one. Another one from Jay Harvin. R. kelly is like epstein but instead of hanging himself by his bed sheets he's gonna hang himself by his silk do-rag his velveta god r kelly's talented cuz why are the most talented people always a little disturbed? Woody Allen, R. Kelly, Michael Jackson, do you like to climb trees? That was funny, man.

I mean, why are the most talented people fucking disturbed? You don't climb trees. What were you about to say, Drew? Do you want to know where the ceremony was arranged? Of course I want to know where the ceremony was arranged. A hotel in Chicago. A hotel in Chicago. She was 15 and he was 27.

Did he falsify her papers or something? He said under pressure from her parents, the marriage was an old month later. Oh, so the parents find out and said, no, you cannot marry an adult, Aaliyah. You're 15. But she said, dad, he's going to give me that record contract. Damn, R. Kelly, he likes kids. Now here's the thing. Can I still get goosebumps from I Believe You Can Fly?

Yeah. Jesse, what's your vert on that? Is it okay to like the songs? It's tough. You can't separate the man from the music. You can't? is it okay to like the songs? It's tough. You can't separate the man from the music. You can't? So you're done with Woody Allen movies?

Yeah, you said it. There's a difference between kid fucking and... And kid fucking. Yeah, that's what... Soon-Yi wasn't really a kid. She was Asian. She was Asian, exactly. But the songs didn't fuck those kids. It's a joke.

Not Ali Wong Asian. CCP Asian. It's different. Soon-Yi was not. Exactly. But the songs didn't fuck those kids. It's a joke. Not Ali Wong Asian. CCP Asian. It's different. Sun Yi was not a human. Right. Exactly. No, I think they're both accused of, well, Dylan was a kid, and Sun Yi supposes a lot of evidence that he was visiting her when she was in prep school and having an affair with her.

It's tough. Because, I mean, are we going to do away with Annie Hall? We're going to do away with, I mean, you can't. It's always going to be there, though. So you're always going to think about it now. That's the problem, right? Fuck. All right.

So Jesse's made the official verdict. R. Kelly, at least these pedophiles are getting a little diverse. I mean, I'm not going to turn it off. If Keys to Ignition comes on, I'm not turning the song off. You cannot turn off Keys to Ignition. Especially if you're sculpting and that shit comes on. And you get into a groove. Jesse's Couture will all want one word on Instagram for the finger paintings.

They're very good. If Yanni was a fledgling actress now, he would definitely lick Woody Allen. Somebody said, it's fuming in Afghanistan. I think he's there. Are you hungover from a Coke bender? No. I'm not

hungover from a Coke bender. I am a British rock star. Now, this is what happens. I just had my dose of Regeneron, and this is what it does to your hair. Our beloved pioneer disabled governor, the first disabled governor in American history who broke boundaries

and refuses to institute mask mandates in schools. Him and DeSantis, back to back, against the world, against all the government health advisory

officials, has contracted COVID. He is vaccinated. He is vaccinated. He is vaccinated. And he had supposedly mild symptoms. Very mild symptoms. He didn't even know he had it supposedly. But there's some rats,

there's some rats in his administration that have leaked to the press that he was very, very nervous and scared. And so he went and he received, uh, Regeneron treatment, which,

which I've read does show promise something like 70% after you contract COVID, um, 70% rate of like you leave not dying. Here's the thing. A lot of people don't take into account about COVID. I don't want to talk about COVID because I know you're sick of it. But even if you don't die, a lot of times you end up permanently maimed.

Some people still don't have their smell back, their taste back. Yeah. Some people's airbags are fucked up. Your circulatory system gets fucked up. It inflames everything. So he got nervous and he took the Regeneron. He's taking a lot of heat because the people of Texas are going, wait, you're taking the Regeneron?

It's available to you? Because I heard it's a little bit pricey or something. I don't know. He's like, why is that not available to all the people in the ICUs in Texas, which are obviously the ICUs are overflowing. It's a hot ticket right now, ICUs. It's like a fucking Beatles concert. Everyone's trying to get in.

And so he's taking a lot of heat. And also, of course, he's taking heat because he got COVID. Well, people are saying his symptoms are mild. He even said he attributes that to the vaccine. So what you could call maybe one of the biggest quote unquote anti-vaxxers has said, thankfully that I got the vaccine.

But then he went and got the Regeneron treatment. The treatment they only reserve for Donald Trump and Tim Dillon, who also got the Regeneron. So Tim Dillon's obviously not mayor. He's just a kid with a very successful podcast who could afford it. I don't think it's that expensive though, right? The Regeneron.

Do we have a verdict on how expensive it is? But he's coming under fire because he took the Regeneron. You cannot catch COVID at Derek's place, brother. Come on down to the Pink Lagoon, C Fifth Flamingo, brother, where the bartender is COVID-19. Little sexy number, brother. She'll serve you up a cocktail called the Gullet Closer, where your throat closes up and you choke for air. You feel like your autoerotics asphyxiating and you could come brother have you ever gotten a blow job on covid will come on down

to the pink lagoon croc pit flamingo brother ain't no blow job better than when you're losing oxygen oh too brother i mean covid is just nature's way of fucking wrapping a belt around your neck and jerking off. Manny, who is a Spanish kid, says, Regeneron is reserved for white people only. Dad Cash wants you to know that his prescription is a shot of Regeneron and Padron. We'll do it. Oh, Padron out of Katie's ass. And here we go.

Colin Cow is saying, Considering the cost of regenerative medicine, prices vary considerably depending on the specific treatment, region, and doctor, and or hospital. For example, the cost of a single prp injection typically and then he ran out of room it says it's free here yeah uh jay harvin getting covid while resisting covid sanctions is like refusing to use a condom getting a girl pregnant having a kid and that kid looks like ted cruz very funny you think r kelly was Michael Jackson in Whiteface? No, I don't.

So that's your daily update on your COVID is that the governor has cooties and he's on some Regeneron mononucleosis treatment that injects antibodies into you, which is another way you can do it. You can just say, hey, let me catch COVID, take my chances, and then, you know, take my risk that Regeneron can bring me back. If you don't want the vaccine, it's funny because they're trusting one thing but not the other. It's very strange.

It's like Regeneron is also made by a company and they trust that because like this is, Governor DeSantis is also championing Regeneron right now. And he says it's free in Florida, which I'm not sure if that's true either. But he just gave a speech saying that Regeneron is better than the vaccine because it promotes herd immunity. I mean, so I don't know.

But that's funny that they're choosing one over the other. You know, I gotta say, Joey Biden, Kamala, and Cuomo were all caught early on politicizing the virus, saying they would never take a Trump vaccine. I think even Cuomo once said, you're damn right I don't trust this FDA. So that was when Trump was in office. They politicized it. And now the consequences. Like I said,

everything has a cost. Colin Coe is saying it's $1,000 to $5,000 per treatment. So good luck. Good luck trying to add up your stimmy checks to pay for that, if that's true. I don't know, but he said it depends on region, so maybe it's cheaper in Florida. Just like the bath salts are cheaper, everything's cheaper in Florida. I know. Carter Beamish wants you to know vaccines are herd immunity. If we all get them, we're all immune. I get it, but this is America, baby.

You gotta have a fucking different take than that that's boring yanni's eyes are like china and russia if his if his nose was kabul they're on the border very funny all right guys um i need you to go to patreon.com slash yanni long days for bonus episodes every week of Squeaky Clean. That is the name of the bonus episode where Yanni goes wild in water and we have a great time. Go ask other long haulers how they're enjoying it. You'll enjoy it. It's great.

Also, there's character pieces for the higher tiers, all types of bonus episodes up there. I have a very, very active channel. So go join my channel, patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. Connecticut, tomorrow night, Sunday, 22nd at the Scandinavian Club. Happy birthday, Drew. This is his birthday. The Scandinavian Club, 5 p.m. show. If there's any tickets left, get your tickets.

Connecticut Comedy Festival. And I'll see you there in Fairfield, Connecticut. Now we are going to read some Patreon names. You know Yanni Longdays likes to support small business. You know the deal. These are the small business shout outs, Patreon members. We appreciate you. We hope you're helping.

We hope we're helping your small business. And we start with one of my favorite Patreon names of all time, Andrew Cuomo's secretary with Cuomo spelled wrong, spelled C-U-E-M-O-S. So Andrew Cuomo's secretary. Now this is their business, ZjamaRealty.com. That's ZjamaRealty.com. You know what the deal is.

Couples screwed in Jewish kids for all your commercial or apartment rental listing needs in Brooklyn. If you're a fan of the show, you're moving anywhere in Brooklyn, you're setting up a business in Brooklyn, you go through ZJamaRealty.com. Okay? They rent to squeaks and Greeks and freaks. So ZJamaRealty.com. We also want to give a shout out to Eastside Cheesecakes of course our favorite cheesecake company

in the Los Angeles area Julia and Gregory serving up delicious fucking food pour them on the gram and then as we know because we tried it it is absolutely delicious so does Omar's Wild he went and got it so go to their gram

Eastside Cheesecakes, their website, eastsidecheesecakes.com. They have all types of flavors. They're available at Uncle Paulie's Deli, my good friend, Paulie, out in Los Angeles. And hopefully pretty soon they'll be shipping everywhere. So Eastside Cheesecakes, delicious. I want to give a shout out to techvera.com. If you're a business and you're looking to hire IT personnel, you're a small business, a lot of time you can't afford hiring individuals, or if you just want to make it convenient, this is a convenient 2021 way to do it. Hire Techvera at techvera.com for all your IT needs. So if you're a company or a person or whatever who needs tech support, encryption, all the stuff that tech people do,

go to techvera.com and hire them. They'll take care of whatever you need done for you. Maybe they'll hack fucking my computer for you if you like. Of course, as always, the screwed in kid, Jared, exclusiveautoshipping.com alright the kid who's getting a real deal on this

if you're moving your car anywhere in the states you know you're moving you're setting up shops somewhere you're settling somewhere exclusiveautoshipping.com

will give you a free nationwide quote to move your car so exclusiveautoshipping.com check them out if you're a fan of the show, that is the company you use. Um, want to give a shout out to the wildest hyena of the mall, Rob at Rob's mental playground.com. Go visit his Instagram, Rob's mental playground. Go buy an art

piece from him, a print, a t-shirt, Whatever he's making, just go fucking check out Rob. And then, of course, we got our new shout-out. One of my favorite Patreon names, Squeegee Luigi. And you know what his deal is, man. This guy's got a very, very cool paraphernalia. You know, he sells all types of stuff with vendors that he works with. He's got everything from cannabis, paraphernalia, exotic dab tools, pipes, rolling trays, luxury pens, jewelry, self-defense gear. It's my favorite. Tools, furniture, everything. So you got to go to his

page, GetTurntCo. That's G-E-T-T-U-R-N-T-C-O. Get Turnt Co. And check him out. Peruse his stuff and buy something, dude. He's got a lot of cool shit up there. Shout out to Squeegee Luigi. One of my favorite small business shout outs. They're all my favorite. I mean, they're all, you know, we're coexisting here. I'm helping them.

They're helping me. It's really great. This is how you do it. TheBronxBrand.com. Go visit TheBronxBrand.com and support them and you'll get some cool stuff. It's a showcase of Bronx creativity, really. They collab with all these local artists in the Bronx area, from the Bronx, to celebrate the vibrant culture of the Bronx where hip-hop was born. You feel me? And New York City as a whole. So go check out all the artists that they promote over there. All the artists earn a revenue share with each sale. So every purchase you make helps

support a local artist. So it's great for the Bronx brand. It's great for the artist. It's great for you because they have some absolutely cool stuff up there. I was checking out their website and it's very, very cool. So shout out to Mike Hamlet Jr. who is the co-founder and creative director of the Bronx brand. Check it out. Okay. The promo code, you can get 15% off anything you buy there with the promo code fumes. So type in the promo code fumes can get 15% off anything you buy there, uh, with the promo code fumes. So type in the promo code fumes for 15% off your order, uh, with the Bronx brand.com. Guys, similarly, we go down to Hawaii to support some local artists down in Hawaii from my, uh, boy, Patreon member, Aaron leaf kids, probably Scandinavian.

Uh, so for the free, forthefree.us. They're an organization dedicated to providing artists from Hawaii a place to develop their craft. They host free shows, post free music by local artists. Check out their website, forthefree.us. And once Hawaii opens back up, they'll have live show dates, everything. And if you're an artist in Hawaii

who wants to get on stage, contact them through their website. So check out ForTheFree.us and find out about very cool bands in the local Hawaii area. They just want to keep those bands in Hawaii, where Bruno Mars is from. All right, guys,

there's only one fucking way to read this one, okay? There's only one fucking way to do this. If okay? There's only one fucking way to do this. If you're in the Philly and South Jersey area, and you have drinking your water and gotten yourself a hoogie and went to Wawa's, but you forgot that you need to get your check cashed, you call Chris, okay, at his fucking phone number. Chris is the man, Chris Minetti, call him at 215-750-3730,

that's 215-750-3730, no website, no social media, no bullshit fucking old school, that way the IRS can't keep track of it, capisce, I love that that's's in the copy I'm just gonna read his copy so call Chris if you need to get your business check cash in the Philly South Jersey area

guys want to give a shout out to Grant Trower South Florida realtor so if you're moving down there to escape taxes and risk COVID if you're tired of living in what used to be the Cuomo compound, come move to the great state of Florida, guys, DeSantis land. So if there's any

fellow long haulers out there looking to buy or sell your home in South Florida, also please contact Grant Trower. He will take care of you. And you got to use him as a realtor. So if you're a fan of my show and you're moving to South Florida or looking for a new place in South Florida, it's granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com. Okay. And so, or you can call him at 954-591-6465. You can follow him on the gram at grant underscore Trower. So check it out. All right, guys,

patrion.com slash Yanni long days. We always read the new members off. You know, some people make funny names and we have a good time with it. Some people are straight to the back for the content. Want to welcome Trevor to the long haul. Errs. Then we got Devin Brent, Josiah one, two combo to the throat haul. Errs. Then we got Devin Brent.

Josiah. One-two combo to the throat box. Lundquist. Very funny. Aaron Cruz. Hooded glue gun sardine fumes. Number one. Revy.

Ben Dixon. Bessie. Welcome, Bessie. Matthew Sparling. Paulina Fall. Jarek. Chrissy's Giggle makes my little wee-wee jiggle. Welcome. Augustin Motaduval. Augustin Motaduval. Welcome. Dylan Wasbrock, Evan Jeffrey, Matt Mickelson, Future Eric. Welcome, Eric. Jesus Christ gives fumes to the fumeless.

Future Eric. Welcome, Eric. Jesus Christ gives fumes to the fumeless. It's another great one. Jesus Christ gives fumes to the fumeless. Stockton, Sean Duncan, Joe Atkinson, Heidi, Just Me, DFF, Charles Hirschman, Emerson Ward, Sina, Koshravini, Marv, SK8S, Ashkar Havix, Havez, Ashar Havez. Welcome. I see we got a lot of freaking Sandra D's. Reed, Columbia, Columbia, Reed, Columbia. Nicole Campbell, ET Space Cowboy. Welcome. Tara Louise, Trevor Laird, Riley Kenny, Sarah Mataldo, Jesse Lidstone, Bianca Frizzoni,

Bianca Frizzoni, Noah Sanford, Shermstick SC, Timbo Slice 97. Very funny. And then Pasha Safarzadeh then Pasha Safarzadeh. Pasha Safarzadeh. Welcome, guys. Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. Go join these long haulers for all your bonus content on my channel. Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays.

It's been a long day.