Yannis Pappas Hour - Bad Friend

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, everybody. Hola. Giannis Pappas here. This is your weekly news, serious news podcast where we tell you only the truth, not left or right, not up or down, no bias, straight to it, fact-checked, USDA- checked USDA approved and 100% vaxed taxed ready to wax we're vaccinated we're unvaccinated we're boosted and we got ivermectin on call ready for any emergency that happens it's the cure-all be-all and his name is Yanni the greek freak who happens to not be fully greek because he did a little bit of a 23

Starting point is 00:00:47 Me and found out that he had a couple ancestors that were held down and impregnated. That's right I got some Turk in me, but you're not here to hear that You're here to find out what is going on in the world and I tell you we got a lot of fun things to get Through today January 6 is coming up tomorrow, so Uncle Paulie's is having half-off sandwiches. Andy Cohen got fired from CNN, and he doesn't care. He wants to know why he was doing it in the first place. Bill de Blasio, fuck you. He is right now outside Bill de Blasio's house just ranting. Jon Stewart has a little message for Newsweek. In a fun little story that the media tried to make a story.

Starting point is 00:01:29 And then Jon Stewart said, ah, ah, bitch. And he had a little fun thing to say to Newsweek. Treated Newsweek like an ex that stole his money. The Jeopardy winner. She is a great woman. She's a great woman breaking boundaries. I think she just broke records. It's a huge year for women, not a great year for people with wombs,

Starting point is 00:01:56 but a great year for women. So good, people were jealous. They tried to rob her right after her Jeopardy winnings. We'll get to that story. Patton Oswalt is a bitch. That's all I gotta say about that. Pope Francis. Pope Francis

Starting point is 00:02:13 is very, very upset that people are not having children and they are having dogs and pets instead. He says it's sad for civilization. You know, civilization, the thing that the Catholic church tries to destroy. Antonio Brown, what is going on? We got a lot to talk about with Antonio Brown. CTE. Anyway, Plessy versus Fargeson. Fargeson.

Starting point is 00:02:43 Plessy versus Fargeson. Just pretendon. Plessy versus Fargeson. Just pretend I had an Irish accent and I didn't mispronounce that. Plessy versus Ferguson from 1892 that made segregation the law of the land. Plessy was finally pardoned. I'm pretty sure he appreciates that. I'm pretty sure he appreciates that. He's not fucking alive. A little bit too little too late.

Starting point is 00:03:06 I want to say that to all the ex-girlfriends who are fucking dumped me. Who look at how fucking lit I am now, baby. You're too fucking late. You know what Plessy says back to you? Fuck you. You can take your pardon and stick it right up your asshole. The same place you can take this monetization that I just demonetized by cursing within the first minutes and stick it right up your fucking smash bean.

Starting point is 00:03:28 Because this is long days. I'm a delicious maniac. This is the Fediverse. Welcome. Put your fucking goggles on and take your panties off. What's the fucking dollars? Down as poppers. Yeah. Here we go. When you all tucked up in the day been long. And the news online going on and on. What's right and wrong?

Starting point is 00:03:49 And there's something up. Now here comes a great kid you know you can trust. From the true who's who. To the news and cameras. To the fake politics. And the propaganda. Yeah, this kid screwed in. Got a lot to say.

Starting point is 00:04:00 Aw, shit. It's about to be a long day. It's a long day. It's a long day. What's up, everybody? Before we start the show, as always, I want to tell you about, if you're watching this now, come see if there's tickets to the show tonight in Dallas, Plano, Texas. I'm here from the 6th to the 8th.

Starting point is 00:04:15 Then end of January, I'm going to be in San Diego. Pretty sure Jared Harvin will be with me there. January 20th to the 22nd in San Diego at the American Comedy Company. Then Soul Joles, February 5th. Can you do that date? Yeah. Jared Harvin will be with me February 5th at Soul Joles in Jeffersonville, Pennsylvania.

Starting point is 00:04:35 Get your tickets on my website, yannispappascomedy.com for all these February 10th side splitters in Tampa. Then Canada, February 17th through the 19th in Edmonton. Canada, New Westminster, British Columbia from February 24th to the 26th. Bloomington, Minnesota, March 3rd to the 5th. San Antonio, March 24th to the 26th.

Starting point is 00:04:58 Mike Suarez will be with me. Phoenix, Arizona, April 14th through the 16th. Hopefully, Jared Harvin, I believe, will be with me there as well. So those are my dates. Go see me live, yannispappascomedy.com. Please go join the clips page on YouTube as well, Yanni Longday's clips.

Starting point is 00:05:16 Go subscribe to that, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Enjoy this episode with me and Jared Harvin in studio for this week at patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. And most importantly, this is how we're doing in 2022. Just find one friend, one friend you think might be into this show. Tell them about the show or her or they or they bees or newbie. Tell them whoever.

Starting point is 00:05:41 And right there, we double our numbers. That's how we're doing it. You guys spread the word. Continue to post in your stories, and let's start this show. It is a wild one. You're going to love it. Jared Harvin's in studio, finally on camera, because when Plessy versus Ferguson was finally pardoned,

Starting point is 00:05:59 when Plessy was finally pardoned from his crime of trying to sit in a white section of the train, I figured it's time that I can at least put a black man on camera. So, you know, say hello to Jared Harvin. Of course, we've got Jesse Scaturo here, and we have a lot to talk about. It's a very fun, fun week. Let's start. We're going to start close to us, and then we're going to expand out to things we don't give a fuck about. Which is mostly everything I talk about here.

Starting point is 00:06:28 I don't really care about that. Once you have a baby, you care about like three, four people and when the baby goes to sleep and the baby. And that's it. My life right now is when the baby goes to sleep. That's when life begins. baby goes to sleep. That's when life begins. When the baby's awake, I'm just constantly trying to get the baby to not drink what's under the sink cabinet. My baby, because what happens is, and I'm sure this happens with a lot of babies, a lot of parents go through this, whatever you say no to, your baby thinks it's a game. Okay? Because at that point, I think babies have like the

Starting point is 00:07:02 intelligence of dogs. So, whenever you say no, don't do that, the baby smiles and goes, I'm going to do that. So every time I glance down at my phone, my baby is closer and closer to trying to do what an alcoholic does when they realize that they have no alcohol left in the house. They drink whatever fucking is under the sink. And if you don't know that, you haven't had any alcoholics in your family, or you haven't lived as long enough as I have to have friends who've had alcoholics in a family, under the sink is a no-no. Okay, so what alcoholics will do is they'll get rid of all the alcohol in their house

Starting point is 00:07:35 because they're trying to quit, and they realize, oh, I'm not strong enough to do this. I should have went to AA. And then they go, let me have a drink because I'm stressed. And then they go to the cabinet and they go, there's nothing in there but cranberry juice. And they go, but there is alcohol in this. This will do. And that's a true story. I've heard it from multiple people.

Starting point is 00:07:53 And they just drink Ajax. They go to the emergency room. And then they get counted as a COVID patient. Anyway, we got some fun stuff. We're going to start close to comedy first. Let's start with the big comedy news of the week. Yeah. Well, there's a few.

Starting point is 00:08:10 There's two big stories, but let's start with the first one. Patton Oswalt. A lot of you know him from his voice in Ratatouille. Some of you know him from whatever bar show that smells like spilt beer and wet dogs you saw him at. A lot of you know him from mistaking him for a little person. A lot of you know him from getting rejected on trying to get on rides at Great Adventure. A lot of you know him as a guy who looks like he transitioned into a guy. A lot of you guys know him from playing one of the bank goblins in Harry Potter.

Starting point is 00:08:49 And some of you know him now for issuing an absolutely heartfelt apology. I mean, he took a picture with Adolf Hitler. He took a picture with Adolf Hitler, He took a picture with Adolf Hitler and that is just no. That is, you are unnoticed, my friend. You are fucking unnoticed. So what happened was Adolf Hitler invited Patton Oswalt down to perform at his rally in an arena, which Patton Oswalt could only hope to ever fill because there's just not that many white kids with liberal arts degrees who are in between college and having a job. So certain other comedians perform for real people who can afford $50 tickets.

Starting point is 00:09:42 And I'm sorry. I'm going in hard on you only because you went in on one of our own for no fucking reason. And then you did a bitch move. It's a bitch move. To quote the great Don L. Rawlings, there's not a lot of bitch ass. Can you say the N word for me, please? Niggas. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:57 There's a lot of those nowadays. And this era is not made for everybody. So Patton Oswalt was invited down by his old friend Dave Chappelle. They go back 30 years they've known each other. They're friends from comedy. Now, is he from D.C. as well,

Starting point is 00:10:14 Patton Oswalt? Yes, he is. Okay, so he's like the illegitimate son of some senator who fucked the housekeeper or something and he grew up in D.C.,

Starting point is 00:10:22 privileged probably. And Dave Chappelle's parents also, like, well-off. Dave Chappelle comes from like a well-off home. So, I don't know how long they've known each other. And that's just an aside.

Starting point is 00:10:33 I'm just giving you some history. 34 years. 34 years. 34 years. Okay, that's as long as I've known Jesse Scatoro. That's older than your wife. Huh?

Starting point is 00:10:42 That's older than your wife. That's older than my wife. That's older than my wife. You know what's funny about Jay Harvin? Like when he wasn't here like a couple weeks and he went into the chat, you know he had like senioritis in the chat. You know when you don't care anymore, he's like, ah, fuck this. I'm waiting to get back. I'm coming.

Starting point is 00:10:58 I'm in studio now. I don't fucks with this chat. I leave that shit to Drew and Omar as well. I don't fucks with this chat anymore. I come in and throw heat now. So, yeah. Over to my wife. Can you imagine?

Starting point is 00:11:07 That would be like if Jesse Scatoro, who I've known probably, I've probably known you 30 years, right? Over 30 years? Yeah, over 30 years. About 30 years. About 30, yeah. About 30 plus years. Could you, I mean, what kind of person would I be if something happened in the news with you that's, by the way, bullshit, and then I took a picture with you and a couple of strangers commented on my picture

Starting point is 00:11:31 and said that they were upset with me? Just imagine, this is the type of person Patton Oswalt is deep down. What kind of person would I be? Now that I'm giving you the anatomy of how this goes, if I went and I took a picture of myself writing on a legal pad, all pensive looking, and then posted this long apology letter in this pedantic tone to the greatest comedian of our era. That goes beyond dispute. If he's not the greatest, he's one of the greatest. It's subjective. He's one of the greatest.

Starting point is 00:12:04 You're saying he's learning. He's growing. He's growing. And you're a fat little portly lesbian looking white man talking to a black man. If this is not progress in our country, I don't know what this is, that a white man is preaching to a black man on how to be more open-minded. I mean, if up is not down and down is not up, I don't know what's going on. Here he is in his fucking 1950s-looking green room on his dumb legal pad with his AirPods in, unquestionably listening to some independent band from Seattle

Starting point is 00:12:41 that nobody gives a fuck about. You're 55 years old right now, okay? David Cross has a gray beard and he's dating a 30-year-old like me. We've moved on, Patton Oswalt. You need to too. Put some classical music in on those headphones and pretend to be straight and make some children. Go home. Does he have kids? I think so. Okay, so you did that. I went a little off our research. As you know, I don't like to do that on this pure news show.

Starting point is 00:13:09 I don't like to tell things that aren't true, but he has some kids. They must be very proud of him to see daddy's fucking post. And if they grow up in Portland or Seattle, which is where I assume he has his summer home, then they're happy for him, right? So he posts this apology letter to the people about being seen with Dave. I mean, what kind of dystopian Orwellian nightmare are we living in that you're treating it

Starting point is 00:13:37 like you took a picture with the night stalker, Richard Ramirez? Dave Chappelle does comedy. You could make a more reasonable argument that his special, which he did devote a lot of time to trans. I mean, he should have just called the special, hey, trans people, let's talk. But that aside, you could make a more reasonable argument that that special was pro-trans, pro-humanist, more than you can, it was anti-trans.

Starting point is 00:14:08 By the way. A normal person watching that whole thing. But even if, let's say, he said some transphobic jokes, like the portly fat fucking pinkish illegitimate son of a congressman that I'm talking about right now,

Starting point is 00:14:23 because guess who had his videos dug up and has tons of fucking, how should we say, off-color jokes about gays and trans and special needs people who I happen to have a brother who is special needs

Starting point is 00:14:38 who you called retarded. I don't mind. I wasn't that offended, but I'm going to pretend to be to show how much of a hypocrite you are. I am going to post, actually I'm going to pretend to be to show how much of a hypocrite you are. I am going to post, actually, I'm committing right now. My next Instagram post

Starting point is 00:14:49 will be a picture of me enjoying watching a Patton Oswalt special with a disappointed look in my face and then a long apology letter about how I used to like Patton Oswalt because he's got some good jokes. I like Patton Oswalt a little bit. How I used to like him, but how disappointed I am and how much more room he has for growth as someone who's targeting the gay and the retarded communities. Okay.

Starting point is 00:15:17 Because now people went back and found his old comedy clips where he's saying just as horrible, if not more horrible things than Dave Chappelle. Comedy is saying the wrong thing. You guys are both not running for office. Why did you post an Instagram post like you were fucking Ted Cruz caught with a fucking underage boy in a motel room? That's what I expect. You took a picture and did comedy with Dave Chappelle at a comedy show.

Starting point is 00:15:43 Get over yourself. I want to throw everyone into a fucking CCP gulag for a week or make them vacation in Sudan for 10 minutes so then they can come back and get some fucking perspective about what an actual criminal is and what an actual

Starting point is 00:15:57 crime is and what morality fucking is. You know what's not immoral? Making jokes. Did I do that too calm, you think? Should I kick it up a notch? You're going to dial that up. Do I need to dial that up? Do I need to give it a little bit more oomph?

Starting point is 00:16:13 Am I being a little bit too deadpan? You're going to put a little passion in there. I got to put a little more passion in there. So he apologized to Dave Chappelle. And then all these videos came out where Pat Niswold is doing the same thing Dave Chappelle is doing. And then some people in the comments are going,

Starting point is 00:16:29 oh, but he was making a progressive point. And you're going, that's not the rules. That's not the rules. Because guess who else he went hard on was Shane Gillis, who was a very funny guy. When Shane Gillis got fired from SNL for saying the word chink. Can you bleep that

Starting point is 00:16:45 I mean are we children just right so for saying the word chink it rhymes with chank just change one letter he was doing it in the character of a real estate

Starting point is 00:17:00 investor or salesperson in the bit on the podcast. So it's the same as Patton Oswalt here. So let's take a look at this is the clip that Patton Oswalt is doing. The same exact thing Shane Gillis was doing when Patton Oswalt also went hard on Shane Gillis. Here it is. Check this out. We got the world's slowest Googler.

Starting point is 00:17:24 So just bear with us. Why is it playing? Come on, man. It's not working. I'm going to guess it not playing has more to do with you than it does the internet. You're probably right.

Starting point is 00:17:34 Come on, man. Fags want to get married or some dykes, they want to be men. How the fuck does that affect you, asshole? You know? Good clean fun. Listen, hey. If there's some tranny out there. Tranny? Good clean fun.

Starting point is 00:17:49 Tranny? Fag? Dyke? It's a she now. He called them it. He called them it. Keep going because it gets worse. I don't know. Whatever they want to call themselves, that's it. Don't affect you. So if you see some guy, I don't care if he's got a chooch, it looks like a Boris Karloff horror movie. Okay, hold on. Let's slow it down, Dennis Miller. Not

Starting point is 00:18:14 everyone is an obscure horror movie fan. I know your fans are absolute uselessly educated geeks who think that being smart is knowing about horror movies and having a BA in literature. But let's slow it down a little bit, okay? But it still was pretty funny, okay? Whatever character you're doing, I'm not offended by this. The point is, I'm not saying you did anything bad. What I'm saying you did bad is, is be a goddamn hypocrite and a snitch bitch, okay? Because you're doing the same exact thing here that Shane Gillis did. You're doing the same exact thing here, but worse than Dave Chappelle did.

Starting point is 00:18:49 Because Dave Chappelle, who's a better comic than you in every regard, had a poignant point to his. You know, he had a friend who was trans. Maybe you are trans, but I'd like to see how many trans friends you have okay so i'm gonna go out on a limb and say you you weren't as nice to a trans person as dave chappelle was maybe i'm wrong maybe you are it still doesn't mean you were doing the same to hear jay harvin you're a 24 year old black man in america what's your view on this i just just think that he's being hypocritical.

Starting point is 00:19:26 He's really being hypocritical. Honestly, I can't tell if that's Patton Oswalt or Ralphie Mae. The way he's talking. He does look like if Ralphie Mae got a stomach staple operation. Yeah, yeah. But in that picture with Dave Chappelle, he looks like Dave Chappelle's stylist. He does look like Dave Chappelle's lesbian stylist. To borrow his parlance, Dyke's stylist.

Starting point is 00:19:49 Yeah. Yeah. You know Pat Nileswell's trying to make this seem like it's a bigger deal because he's in the dressing room with the Malcolm X hand over the face trying to make it seem like he's writing down civil rights. But you know he's not really doing that. I mean, look at this picture he took. I mean, is this not the most cringe thing that he took a picture of himself pretending to write what he wrote?

Starting point is 00:20:07 It's all performative. I mean, it's so performative and transparent. And it's kind of sad, man. It's kind of sad that comedians are—it's okay to make jokes about each other. I mean, everyone benefits from that. Even if it's a little smoke, that's fine. Or if someone does something bad and it's in the news, then that's free game, baby. We're comics.

Starting point is 00:20:28 We got to do our job. As the great Tim Dillon says, we got to do our job. But to morally go after another comedian for what he said on stage is a no-no. That's a 101 of our community. A community doesn't exist anymore really and i'm fine with that um but you know the one-on-ones of being a comedian is not doing this not apologizing to an audience because you take a pic with your old friend he's a friend of yours dog he's a friend of yours who invited you down to perform did a nice thing for you, introduced you to some people who don't smell

Starting point is 00:21:06 their fingers before dinner and after dinner, you know? Some fans who don't smell girls' seats after they stand up. Some people who actually have, you know, working class jobs, you know? Can you imagine Patton Oswalt in front of any ethnic or working class audience? There's just certain comedians who need a specific audience. So just calm the fuck down. You're in the presence of greatness. Okay? And he invites you down

Starting point is 00:21:29 because he's a nice guy and he smokes cigarettes and he likes to have a good time. You take a picture with him and post it on your own Instagram to big yourself up. And then you catch a little backlash

Starting point is 00:21:38 from like three people with fucking purple hair. And then you go and write this self-righteous... It's so gross, it makes me sick. It makes me want to finger pop his puss. Anyway,

Starting point is 00:21:55 it just seems, you know, that just seems like a, you know, it's like if Nate Bargatze, you know, me and Nate, I've known Nate now for,

Starting point is 00:22:02 you know, too long, but how long have I had to deal with Nate? Nate's one of my closest friends. I've known him for, what is it? 2000 and... I've known him

Starting point is 00:22:16 for a long time. 15 years. He doesn't wear sandals out in public anymore. Yeah, yeah. Nate, I don't know. Nate, he's aging Benjamin Button-wise. I mean, he used to look like shit, and now he looks good. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:28 But I've known, it's like if Nate told a joke, which would never happen, but he told a joke that was offensive, some people thought it was offensive, like a huge minority of the population thought it was offensive, but there was a hoopla about it.

Starting point is 00:22:41 And then I went and did a show with him. He invited me down to one of his Christian shows and the place was packed with God lovers and Jesus fears. And it was a great time. Those are real people, good people. I don't judge them at all. I mean, I was born Christian. I'm kind of Christian too, I guess. I don't give a fuck, but that's the side point. I'm digressing. My point is I took a picture with him because I wanted to show that I knew a more famous comic. Okay. Because that's true. He's more famous. And then I put it on my Instagram and I caught heat from a few people.

Starting point is 00:23:09 And it's my friend. And I posted a picture of a more famous comic to me before. And then I go post another one to try to please and win everybody. And then said Nate's learning. Like, Nate's learning. Give him time. He's learning. I mean, what kind of like like what is the word for that

Starting point is 00:23:25 it's not is it pedantic or is it like it's paternalistic sanctimonious it's like sanctimonious and self-righteous and paternalistic

Starting point is 00:23:32 you know like oh this boy's learning yeah he's figuring shut the fuck up it's condescending yeah

Starting point is 00:23:39 very condescending why don't you figure out how to make one black person laugh yeah before before Pat and I was like why don't you learn how to make one black person laugh? Before, Pat and I was like, why don't you learn how to make one person who is not a

Starting point is 00:23:49 liberal arts educated white dude from the suburbs laugh? And then maybe you can talk about what Dave Chappelle needs to learn. I'm breaking my pen. He won't do good in front of black crowds. A lot of comics won't. Black people are going to look at him like, why is my vice principal here or the crossing guard or the crossing guard tiffany true

Starting point is 00:24:12 tiffany or timothy or timothy either way um yeah it's um you know it's just it's just crazy it's just absolutely crazy and that's all i want to say about that. Guys, when you want some more Yanni, okay, whether you're a sports fan or not, it's a sports show. It's a betting show. We talk about lines. We talk about sports. We have a great time. It's produced. It's for BetMGM. Listen to my other show, Unleashed, every Thursday, wherever you listen to podcasts. Apple's a great place, Spotify, wherever. listen to me and Olivia Harland Decker, the great Olivia Harland Decker, talk sports. We're not your typical sports tandem, okay? She's an actual real sports journalist, and you know who I am. So that's what it is. That's our combo, and it's a lot of fun. I love her to death.

Starting point is 00:24:59 We have fun, and we have guests on, incredible guests every week. We have guests from ESPN, analysts from ESPN, Hall of Fame, former football players, football players, athletes, experts. It runs the gamut, comedians. So we've been football heavy now. We're getting into basketball, but I absolutely love doing this show for BetMGM Unleashed. So every Thursday, catch your new episode, your new episode of me andMGM Unleashed. So every Thursday, catch your new episode of me and Olivia

Starting point is 00:25:28 of Unleashed brought to you by BetMGM. Let's go. I'll see you on Thursday over there. Another goat made news. I think it was more recently. So, um, now shout out to this kid. I didn't know he was doing good. I did shows with him, I think. What's the name

Starting point is 00:25:44 of that comedy village or whatever we performed at? Dustin's Old Spot? The Greenwich Village? Greenwich Village Comedy Club. I did a few shows with this kid there. Jay Jordan. And he's doing good. Yeah, very funny.

Starting point is 00:25:54 Okay. Young black dude, gay dude. Funny guy. Likeable guy. Very nice guy. I like him very much. He's got a podcast. Is this a podcast here?

Starting point is 00:26:02 Yes, this is a podcast. Okay. So, somehow he's able to get Jon Stewart. Hey, Jon, I'm available. This kid's been doing comedy for 15 fucking minutes. Yeah, this is Jon Stewart's The Problem. Oh, so they're on his show. Yeah, yeah, but Jon Stewart had Robbie Slovic on.

Starting point is 00:26:17 Okay, but yeah. I mean, come on. Kid's a decent writer, but I'm talking about me, baby. I'm available. Talk to me. Okay? I mean, why not hit me up? You got to about me, baby. I'm available. Talk to me. Okay? I mean, why not hit me up? You gotta have something, son.

Starting point is 00:26:27 You gotta be black and gay or you gotta wear beanie caps. Right, but Robbie Slovic doesn't, Robbie Slovic is one of my favorite people. I love Robbie Slovic. Great guy. No, I'm also saying

Starting point is 00:26:35 Robbie's a great guy. Very good guy. But like Robbie, you should have called me and said you should go instead. You got more charisma. Robbie's a great writer. Very funny comic.

Starting point is 00:26:46 I'm just jealous is what I'm saying I'm jealous Jon Stewart's one of the greatest one of the greats and I got a little nervous when I saw this we're gonna take you

Starting point is 00:26:54 through this whole thing you may have heard of it already by the time you're watching this but you know let's talk about it so he's on this podcast

Starting point is 00:27:00 and this is what happens everybody was like you ever see the scenes in Gringotts Bank and they're like ever see the scenes in Gringotts Bank? And they're like, I love the scenes in Gringotts Bank. He's like, do you know what those folks that run the bank are? And they're like, what? And they're like, Jews.

Starting point is 00:27:12 And then I remember and then that person says, no, goblins. And then you go, do you hear yourself? Let me show you this from, it's the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. I just want to show you a caricature. And they're like, oh, look at that. That's from Harry Potter.

Starting point is 00:27:25 And you're like, no. That's a caricature of a Jew from an anti-Semitic piece of literature. J.K. Rowling was like, can we get these guys to run our bank? And you're like, you're like, this is, it's a wizarding world. It's a world where it's like.

Starting point is 00:27:40 You can imagine anything. The train station has a half a thing and no one can see it and we can ride dragons and you've got a pet owl and who runs the bank who should run the bank Jews

Starting point is 00:27:50 no it's I feel like she was like why'd you make it so subtle yeah I mean it's really like yeah they look like Jews what if the teeth

Starting point is 00:27:59 were sharper I truly I was like 11 or 12 and was like I love Harry Potter we don't want to listen to this guy talk enough with him

Starting point is 00:28:09 I never met him so we don't give him any shot so funny very funny so then it became me and Jesse were talking about it earlier and we were like oh Jon Stewart E2 E2 no so this is what just stick with us on

Starting point is 00:28:28 this whole thing so this is what was actually said I can't see that far so Jared will read it okay you thank you so um this is how they were described in the book now they were facing the goblin was about a head shorter than Harry. He had a swarthy, clever face. Sounds more like me. A pointed beard. And Harry noticed very long fingers and feet. Okay, so that first part, you're going like, all right, J.K. Rowling, that doesn't sound anything

Starting point is 00:29:00 like a caricature of Jews. Because if you were to take Jon Stewart literally, which of course he didn't want you to take him, and we find that out later if you stick around. If you took him literally, you're going, okay, J.K. Rowling didn't create the caricature. And by her description, the caricature that was in the movie does not represent how she described it.

Starting point is 00:29:23 So then you're going, going okay then the director may be a jew hater yeah right because the director or the costume designer or them or just whatever did it so it's not jk rowling okay um like the media wanted to make it because i just wanted to pin something on her for her position on gender um which is a very progressive position as well i just saw her recent tweets where she said i accept that people identify as all types of genders. There's two sexes and trans people should not be competing in sports. That's her fucking position, which like I've said many times in this podcast,

Starting point is 00:29:54 is everyone's position except for four people. Anyway, or except if you just love winning and you're on the Penn swim team and you just like winning. And you're just a teammate of whatever her name is. Her. So then, so that happened.

Starting point is 00:30:13 That was the description, okay? And so then we're sitting there going like, oh boy, is Jon Stewart like, is Jon Stewart really thinking, like calling J.K. Rowling's anti-Semitic because of these goblins, you know? I mean, they're goblins. And to be honest with you, you look at the goblins.

Starting point is 00:30:29 Can we pull up a picture of the goblins right here? If you take a peek at the goblin, it does look like you're taking an afternoon stroll in B&H. I mean, you can. It's like the one with the other one, the one in the middle. No, the third one. Yeah, that one. Yeah. Any of them.

Starting point is 00:30:49 Any of them, really. Yeah. I mean, they clearly are goblins. Okay. But yeah, they work at a bank. So there's that old, you know, what do you call that? I'm just missing the word. Motif or whatever.

Starting point is 00:31:00 Stereotype. Stereotype. The old stereotype. And yeah, but they also could be wasp looking like old wasps with bad skin, you know? Yeah, looks like Benjamin Franklin. Yeah, but that they're in a bank, you're going like, okay, we're getting close. If you should mask your mask out, go, we're getting close. So you're going like, okay, I can see where Jon Stewart made the joke.

Starting point is 00:31:24 Like, all jokes are based in some kernel of truth whether they're really true or not this obviously could be an anti-semitic trope trope is the word I was looking for trope okay but then you could go to that guy in the Harry Potter Gargamel the most popular one down there that way right there

Starting point is 00:31:40 and you could say that that guy is like you know a stereotypical, what? What does he look like? Looks like Gwyneth Paltrow after a shower. Yeah. Yeah, he's making fun of Gwyneth Paltrow after a shower.

Starting point is 00:31:58 So, yeah, because you know it's surprising when you see celebrities like when they don't have makeup on. Oh, fuck, Gwyneth. Yeesh. Yeah. So, it could. You look at it. If you look at the troll or the goblin,

Starting point is 00:32:13 you're going like, okay, maybe that is a trope, right? But then I'm going, I don't see any horns. I haven't heard Israel mentioned. No talk at a West Bank. No shape-shifting. And nobody got excited when they saw money. And I'm going like, that's evidence that they're not Jews. Features don't match up.

Starting point is 00:32:34 Doesn't match up. If you don't see any shape-shifting, or if the horns don't pop up, you're going like, it's not a Jew. With little straight hairs on the side. With the straight hairs. Did you see a turtle? I didn't see a tail. I didn't see a tail. I those straight hairs on the side. Yeah. With the straight hairs. They didn't curl. Did you see a tail? I didn't see a tail. I didn't see a tail.

Starting point is 00:32:46 I didn't see a tail either. Okay? What'd you say? Those straight hairs on the side, they're not curled? They're not curled. They're not curled. And none of them ask anyone in the movie theater if they're Jewish on a Jewish holiday holding a palm thing.

Starting point is 00:33:02 And he's not wearing a wool outfit in the middle of August with sweat stains everywhere. Yes. So. And none of them have a stuffy nose. None of them have

Starting point is 00:33:12 a stuffy nose or allergies. Yes. And yeah, and you know, so you go in, there's evidence both ways. Yeah. Okay.

Starting point is 00:33:21 We're joking, of course. But now Jon Stewart goes on some of course. But now, Jon Stewart goes on some other pod... I mean, Jon Stewart just loves podcasts where there's one young black person

Starting point is 00:33:32 and one young white person. Yeah. Okay? He's showing his age, though. It looks like he's on the same podcast again. Yep. Is that Ferzy?

Starting point is 00:33:41 Is that Ferzy? I don't think it is. Okay, so he's on a podcast again with two young folks, and this is what he says. And this was today he posted this, which is whenever you're watching this. Let's keep the illusion going. What does this one?

Starting point is 00:33:58 All right. I don't think it plays when you zoom in. Jesse, can you add? I think you need to start adding Jeopardy music in between when we go, let's go to it, and when you get it up. That's the whole Howard thing. Howard does that.

Starting point is 00:34:09 Oh, he does? Yeah. Why is it, it's not working, Doug. I don't know what happened. Maybe just refresh it. We'll edit all this out. Yeah. We are back.

Starting point is 00:34:22 We are doing the Twitter. Yeah, about two minutes. Rowling. Clearly as click. Two minutes. Yeah, here we go. Yeah. Come on, man. We are back. We are doing the Twitter. Yeah, about two minutes. Rowling. Clearly as clear. Two minutes. Yeah, here we go. Yeah. Hello.

Starting point is 00:34:31 My name is Jon Stewart. I do not think J.K. Rowling is anti-Semitic. I did not accuse her of being anti-Semitic. I do not think that the Harry Potter movies are anti-Semitic. I really love the Harry Potter movies. Probably too much for a gentleman of my considerable age. So I would just like to say that none of that is true and not a reasonable person could not have looked at that conversation and not found it lighthearted. So let me say this instead to Newsweek. Your business model is fucking arson.

Starting point is 00:35:12 And not the good kind. Not the good kind of arson where they light stuff and control it to prevent forest fires in the future. The kind of arson where you're on the mountain and you've got fucking five minutes and you don't know where the dogs are. Like that's your business model and now all the shitheads pile into this ridiculously out of context nonsense uh that you put out there and let me tell you something this week you used to mean something this is funny you know what i mean you were my go-to at the airport when the kiosk was out of time when the kiosk was out of Time Magazine. When the kiosk was out of Time Magazine. Time Magazine roasted. I mean, the kid's funny.

Starting point is 00:35:47 He's funny. He's like, you were my go-to when they were out of Time Magazine. So it's a joke. He's saying I'm a comedian. It's all types of stuff going on here. By the way, also, Jon Stewart, when he said,

Starting point is 00:36:00 I'm a little too into it for someone my age, that's a pedophile joke. So that's what we do, guys. It doesn't mean Jon Stewart, but we could conceivably someday live in a world where someone takes that clip and goes, Jon Stewart, why do you think that's funny? Why do you think it would be funny

Starting point is 00:36:16 that someone would be into kids' movies and have all this type of kids' bait to talk to kids about? Because whenever I meet a single person who knows a little bit too much about comic book movies, I'm going like, are you married and do you have kids? Because otherwise, I don't want you around my kid. Because you shouldn't know about kids' movies unless you have kids.

Starting point is 00:36:37 If I came in here and was like, guys, I just watched Frozen and it's amazing, you're going like, who are you trying to attract? Who are you trying to hit on You know? What are you trying to hit? Who are you trying to hit on with your knowledge of Frozen? Okay? It could be another mom. But it's gotta,

Starting point is 00:36:53 there's gotta be, there's gotta be parenting involved. But, so, and this thing became a big thing. And you know what's funny is before he released this video, which I think was very recent,

Starting point is 00:37:04 there was huge pylons going like, J going like JK Rowling's a piece of shit you see she's got these views on on trans people and she's got I mean it gets out of control it's like that old Nazi saying like you know a lie travels faster than you know it's like you know what it's I don't know if it's a Nazi saying someone said a lie travels half around the world oh the lie travels around the world while the truth is getting its shoes on Mark Twain the great Mark Twain who I had a fucking

Starting point is 00:37:31 four year argument with Bill Burr that he wasn't a stand up comic I mean let me just say this he was the first stand up comic he used to tour he did an hour and he got laughs and he's also a drunk call it what you want and he's also a drunk call it what you want

Starting point is 00:37:45 yeah he was also a drunk you know and he worked at the Creek in the Cave working on his bits and he had a stage name yeah Samuel Clemens is his real name

Starting point is 00:37:55 I think he was the first I would say he was the first yeah Mark Twain was his pen name because back then like he was he you wanted to distance yourself

Starting point is 00:38:03 because you know it was such a like backwards time and he was, you wanted to distance yourself because, you know, it was such a, like, backwards time. And he was such a forward-thinking guy that he didn't want to smoke, you know? Like, people used to go by pen names so they could avoid, like, any controversies. Pretty soon comedians are going to have to do that. And we'll do it, we're going to have to do comedy behind, like, one of those, you know, when you do those interviews and you're, like, a witness in witness protection program. So you'll be watching Dave Chappelle behind, like, a blurry where like with a voice modulation and you have no idea who it is. It goes, hi, what's up?

Starting point is 00:38:30 My name is Terry. He has some fake name because just so we could avoid people, you know, that's the type of time we're living in now for different reasons. But the anatomy is the same. It's getting crazy. And like I said, anyone could just take that clip of Jon Stewart and go like, oh oh my God, this guy's a pedophile. I mean, it's out of control. So these huge pylons happen now where people are accusing JK Rowling. I mean, she woke up this morning and she's probably going, I'm a Jew hater now too? What happened? And they're like, Jon Stewart did a podcast and Jon Stewart, and imagine what her morning was like now going, like one of the greatest

Starting point is 00:39:01 comedians to ever live now thinks I hate Jews too? That's tough. And I got to deal with it. And then she goes, hopefully she went and watched that video and feels better and was able to digest her fucking lunch. What people are doing to people is just nuts, okay, for what they said. I don't mind when people get piled on for if they provingly did something wrong, you know. Then you kind of, you had it coming. You did something. You did something. And even then I'm a little like case by case basis. What did something. You did something. And even then, I'm a little like, case by case basis.

Starting point is 00:39:28 What did he do? Is it illegal? I mean, you watch the podcast. I did a whole thing on fucking James Franco. But what you said? And on top of that, it's a comedian? What a comedian said? Newsweek is reporting on what a comedian? What a comedian said? Newsweek is reporting on what a comedian?

Starting point is 00:39:45 When did what comedians say become important? You're just creating content. This is how the news does it now. They go, oh, this will be, J.K. Rowling's is trending because they depend on the trending of Twitter like anything else because they're goblins.

Starting point is 00:40:05 They're little Jew banker goblins. It's a joke. Crazy that I even have to say it. So, you know, they go, oh, we can start some smoke with JK Rowling's, and they know that it's people who hate JK Rowling's who pile on, and then they know that the people who think that she's not saying anything crazy,

Starting point is 00:40:24 or people who hate gay people because those people pile in there too. You know, war makes for weird bedfellows. So they pile in and they know that this war will just like, you know, it'll create buzz. And that's why he was raging against their business model. He's going, your business model is shit. And it's coincidental that this happened today

Starting point is 00:40:44 because I happened to post something today about Joe Rogan, who's now become a friend. But Joe's in the crosshairs of a lot of controversy now. I understand why. This is a grave issue where people, based on the decisions they make, This is a grave issue where people, based on the decisions they make, are at risk of dying or not at risk of dying. What people say can influence people. I get all that. I get all that. But this is the point I wanted to make about the world we live in today. We're not going back. The internet is here. You either adapt or you contribute to the demise of our empire. Okay? I don't care that we're an empire. I don't care that we got bases in 220 countries.

Starting point is 00:41:29 I just want to go get a slice of pizza and not think about where my iPhone was made again. Okay? I just want to know that nobody can bring smoke to us because we're number one. I don't care. Okay? It's like finding out Michael Jordan

Starting point is 00:41:42 was an asshole afterwards. He still got fucking seven championships. I don't care if he? It's like finding out Michael Jordan was an asshole afterwards. He still got fucking seven championships. I don't care if he punched Will Purdue in the face. I don't care. Okay? America, we're number one. We're like Michael Jordan. We're a dick.

Starting point is 00:41:54 We're a bully, but we get the job done, baby. When you see those fucking drones coming, run for cover. Don't piss us off. Don't piss us off. All right? for cover. Don't piss us off. Don't piss us off. Alright? Whenever you see Tim Kennedy, the Marine, and the boys coming, it's time to fucking hide the hoes,

Starting point is 00:42:12 sweetheart. We're number one in the world. I just want to get back to that. I don't want to know how the sausage is made. I just want to get back to just having a blind eye and just thinking that China is Taiwan or something. Or just thinking that China is Vietnam or something, or just thinking that China is Vietnam. I don't want to know about them creeping up on taking us over. I don't want to

Starting point is 00:42:29 hear about Kobe. I'm still in love with Michael. You know, China's like the Kobe Bryant of the NBA. He's coming and they're imitating all our moves. So here's what I say about Rogan. I say Joe Rogan supported Bernie for president, said Obama's the best president in our lifetime. He said that recently. And he holds many liberal and some conservative views. He's just a guy with opinions like anyone. Indicting him is missing the mark. He lets people talk for hours and has no agenda beyond his own curiosity. Financially, he's beholden to no one that's true and that is why people trust them the mainstream media is in crisis they're beholden to interests they didn't adapt well to the digital landscape they clearly editorialize for clicks they have no standard

Starting point is 00:43:21 beyond views right once they got off the subscription teat which is more of a pure teat because if you fuck up you lose subscribers if you fuck up here advertisers don't care as long as the views were big um so that's what happened they did not adapt to the digital age well it behooves the media and while we're at it, the government and all industries to take note that they cannot get away with hyperbole or hidden interests anymore. The internet has turned everyone into a reporter. If they don't adapt and adopt the same modern format and standard of transparency Joe uses, this country will dissolve into chaos. If there's no higher standard established for truth and transparency, it'll only foster more mistrust and polarization. Because here's the deal. Joe is

Starting point is 00:44:10 flawed, and we all are, but he's an open book. It's true. He's a free man to the fullest extent. He's got fuck you money, okay? And he signed a deal with Spotify that says, you can't fuck with me, obviously, because these episodes would have been taken down if it wasn't in the contract. The media and government are clearly not free. Interests own them. We know this. We know about lobby groups. We know about corporate sponsorships. We know what goes on behind the scenes. We know the influence that corporations, lobby groups have on policy. We know the leverage they have over elections. We know how much money is in the elections. We know how bad that is,

Starting point is 00:44:49 and we still haven't done anything about it. Like, this is 1997, and Seinfeld's still on the fucking air. Okay? And now the internet's here. Joe Rogan has a podcast. He lets people talk for three fucking hours. You know?

Starting point is 00:45:04 Where was I? He's a free man. The media and government are clearly not. Interests own them. The media cannot compete with the transparency and corporate free independence of a juggernaut, of a comic podcaster, and cage fighting expert.

Starting point is 00:45:19 That's just called facts. Okay? And also I'm kissing his ass a little bit because you know what? He's good for my career. You got to do a little Tim Dillon voice there. You're good for my career. Where was I?

Starting point is 00:45:32 Yeah, I didn't have to suck his dick that hard there, but I did. He's setting an example and if they don't follow it, now this is true, they will be trusted less and less. You can't fool us anymore. We all suffer from this. Media, government,

Starting point is 00:45:47 and corporations better learn this lesson and adapt or die with us in the chaos. There's no getting away with the bull anymore. It's not about being right because Joe's often not right. Who is? Nobody has a monopoly on that. It's about being honest and that Joe is. Mistakes are human, but in any era where dishonesty is nearly impossible to get away with, which is the, which is what we, you know, this is the era of receipts, baby. So get away with honesty is key. Right or wrong, Joe is transparent. Joe is, and also Joe's not the media. He doesn't have to meet the standard of truth, transparency, or honesty. Condemning him is a condemnation not of him, but what makes him so trusted. That's what people understand.

Starting point is 00:46:34 That's what you're really condemning. And that's the media. His triumph over a clearly antiquated, unevolved, often dishonest institute. His triumph over clearly antiquated, unevolved, often dishonest institutions. I can't even read what I wrote right. That have lost their moral authority is truly remarkable and very needed. So basically I'm saying like you better start doing what he does. You better start asking hard questions, having different points of view on,

Starting point is 00:47:05 admitting when you're wrong. You know, Joe Fauci's questioned about the gain of function research. He acts like he doesn't know what's going on. Meanwhile, Obama shut it down. Trump bought it back. He wanted to do it. And he's going, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a guy from Long Island. I just want to go to La Piazza. MS-13's everywhere. No, that doesn't work. You're not just a guy from Long Island. You're not a guy from Long Island who doesn't know what's going on. Answer the questions, okay? You know, has your messaging been inconsistent or wrong? Yeah. Well, why are you pretending like you know everything when you don't know everything? There's a lot of problems. You lose credibility. You lose credibility constantly. You know, just admit, hey, we're catching up to this thing. We don't know a lot. This is what we

Starting point is 00:47:46 recommend. This is what we recommend and why. These are what are still. There's risks to this. There's risks to that. Be honest about everything. Stop trying to bullshit. It's like the thing with UFOs. They finally came out. Nobody gave a shit. Nobody gave a shit. UFOs came out and people went right back to eating their fucking sandwich.

Starting point is 00:48:01 After the government admitted that there's fucking there's been things in the sky they can't explain Jesse I know doesn't believe it he thinks it's what's your theory

Starting point is 00:48:10 on UFOs oh yeah that could be could be I'm sure there's alien life forms but I don't know if they're here

Starting point is 00:48:16 you don't know if they come I told you they come and jack off to us that's why they they hover and leave that's the only explanation

Starting point is 00:48:21 they come what do you do when you when you when you when you bust I was worried you close it

Starting point is 00:48:24 you close the internet and you clear your history. That's what they do. What they do is they bust and then they clear whatever log they have, the history of where they've traveled. They clear that and fly back right to the planet. And then their boss is like, where were you? They're like, I just went to a store, boss. It's like, did you go to Earth again and jack off?

Starting point is 00:48:40 No, I didn't. I swear. So then how come you haven't scrolled at all? You have a clean internet history that's not suspicious i wanted to see what swing trade assassin wrote on your uh post huh i wanted to see what swing trade assassin wrote on your post let's see his name is swing trade assassin these names are funny he goes we can all agree that he's gotten a bit obsessive over the covet episodes recently though. Yes. Yes, he has.

Starting point is 00:49:05 I admit that. But COVID is still a big deal. It's a big deal, but he's really focused in on it and it's been great for his ratings. So he's now like, he's catapulted right back up to where he was and Spotify's in a pickle. You know, they're getting letters every day and Spotify's going,

Starting point is 00:49:26 our hands are tied. Our hands are tied. Because you know there's no way Joe signed that contract without going, I will say whatever the fuck I want. And they were like, fine. You can have Alex Jones on. And he goes,

Starting point is 00:49:37 in his mind he's going, thank you. No, they go, okay. Then he go, only if you don't have Alex Jones on because I think he can't have money on. He probably went, fine, fine, fine. And that's why I probably had him the last big episode on YouTube that Tim was a part of that got like 40 million views, 50 you go. Only if you don't have Alex Jones on because I think he can't have money on. He probably went fine, fine, fine. And that's why I probably had him

Starting point is 00:49:45 the last big episode on YouTube that Tim was a part of that got like 40 million views, 50 million views. But then in his mind, he's going like, wait till you see who I do have on. You know, he's a comic, dude. We're rascals. We're rascals.

Starting point is 00:49:59 You can't hold him to the same standard you hold Anderson Cooper. And why is Anderson Cooper hosting a fucking New Year's Eve special with his drunk gay bestie, who happens to be very entertaining and I like him very much? I love Andy Cohen. Listen, he talks about the housewives ad nauseam and he makes women happy. Thank you. Give us a fucking break. My fucking loves andy cohen in fact when we did the fusion uh no i'm sorry we did the aol new fronts um andy cohen was there and my wife was like that's my i'd never seen my wife my wife doesn't give a shit about anyone at all nobody but andy cohen

Starting point is 00:50:39 she's like oh my god that's andy cohen that's like that's how much she loves andy cohen and this was funny this was probably the only good moment in Times Square. This was after Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper, the great, great grandson of some Vanderbilt, who, you know, that didn't help him at all, I'm sure, just watched Bill de Blasio at 11.59. They cut to him dancing with his wife at 1159, the last moment he was mayor.

Starting point is 00:51:08 Still up. And then Andy Cohen, or should I say, Tequila said this. Hey, happy new year. Okay, just a good old hey. That's a very good gay, innocent happy new year. That's how it starts. Happy new year okay just a good old hey that's a very good gay innocent happy new year that's how it starts happy new year you know just you can hear this sardonic tone behind every gay guy ready to cut you up listen honey that fucking outfit just every gay guy's got a mean sense of

Starting point is 00:51:38 humor but it's real funny um happy new year everybody 2022 don't you feel cleansed cheers funny. Speaker 2 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 I see you. Don't go on a rant. Do his. Don't go on a rant. Patriot lap dance. After four years of the classist term as the mayor of New York, the only thing that Democrats and Republicans can agree on is what a horrible mayor has been. So, sayonara, sucka. Wow. 2022 is a new year. Because guess what?

Starting point is 00:52:32 I have a feeling I'm going to be standing right here next year. And you know who I'm not going to be looking at? Dancing as the city comes apart. I mean, his gay was fucking turnt up, dude. I just want to get the gay out real quick after watching that because I think watching that made me a little gay. I'm just going to say yes. Okay, I feel straight again. That was hilarious

Starting point is 00:53:05 That was Andy Cohen Who got fired from CNN now after this It was funny when When Anderson Cooper was like pulling his jacket back Because you know in the booth they were going Abort, abort, abort Grab him, stop him

Starting point is 00:53:20 What do you gays do to stop each other? Do it, put your dick in his mouth Do something, something Tell him you fucked his boyfriend Stop him. What do you gays do to stop each other? Do it. Put your dick in his mouth. Do something. Something. Tell him you fucked his boy. Do something to stop him. Just distract him. Stop him.

Starting point is 00:53:32 Tell him his hair's uncoiffed. Tell him his hair's uncoiffed. Tell him his hair's uncoiffed. Tell him his hair's out of place right now. Tell him RuPaul just got COVID. Tell him RuPaul just got COVID. RuPaul just got COVID. She won't be able to host this year's whatever.

Starting point is 00:53:44 My boy was excited, man. He was excited. Started using sign language. Turned into a gay Helen Keller. Yeah. He got a promo. Dude, he was as excited as if he got a phone call and his friend said,

Starting point is 00:53:55 we got front row tickets to Madonna tomorrow. That's how lit he was. He said, Lady Gaga just made a personal cameo for you. Here it is. That's how happy he would be. He looked like he just found out Lil Nas X got casted as Miles Morales and then Spider-Man.

Starting point is 00:54:13 That's the spectrum of gay men there too. Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen. It's like you got the flamboyant Andy Cohen who doesn't give a fuck. And then you got Anderson Cooper all buttoned up. One of them you had to find out was gay there's you know that's the type of gay too one type of gay is i had to find out he was gay like tim dylan like you could spend three weeks with tim dylan and then he'll be like he'd be like uh yeah i was this guy the other night you're going what yes what

Starting point is 00:54:41 you remind me of a waiter at a steakhouse what do you mean you were fucking some guy Tim Dillon has had to find out he was gay gay and that's what Anderson Cooper is Anderson Cooper had to make an announcement Andy Cohen's announcement that he was gay

Starting point is 00:54:54 was opening his mouth so I thought that was a pretty fun moment by the way all these shows were putrid I was clicking around on New Year's Eve. I haven't really been doing much.

Starting point is 00:55:09 He replaced the comedian who also got fired from the New Year's show, the one who chopped Trump's head off. What's her name? Kathy Griffin. Kathy Griffin. Yeah, it's just one after another firings. I mean, that was a little crazy while he was president to cut his head off. I mean, you can't do that. You can't just do that. Yeah, that was a little crazy while he was president to cut his head off. I mean, you can't do that.

Starting point is 00:55:25 You can't just do that. That was a little much. Yeah, it's a little much. But then again, it's Kathy Griffin. What is she going to do? But the thing is, you can't do that

Starting point is 00:55:35 and rile people up like that. I understand that one. That was dumb. That was dumb. That was really like, that's crossing the line. I'm saying that as a comment. It's not funny.

Starting point is 00:55:45 And you can't do that about a president, dog. Like, cutting his head off me. Come on. You can't do it. The cards are already against you. You're already a redhead, son. People don't like you. Yeah, they don't like you already because, you know, redheads.

Starting point is 00:55:53 What's the theories about redheads? Lava fumes. Lava fumes. I only know a few redheads. John Moses, Bill Burr. What's their theory? They're very funny, but awkward socially. Louie's a redhead.

Starting point is 00:56:13 You know, you think redheads get mad when one of them makes bad news? It's like, because that's what Greeks do. Whenever like a Greek does something bad and it hits the news, Greeks are like, ah, Greeks get like really upset about it and disown them quick. Do you think redheads have a community like that? You think Burr, when he saw the Louis News, was like, now, fucking, here comes the redhead jokes again. You're making us all look bad.

Starting point is 00:56:38 So, yeah, what are the genetics of redheads? Besides the fact that God hates them. Science, science, something science. Yeah. Speaking of redheads, I hope Delonte West is okay. You know? That's a wild story. I mean, is that not a wild story?

Starting point is 00:56:55 Yeah, he looks like a light-skinned leopard. Did he fuck LeBron's mom? Probably. I mean, those rumors wouldn't be there unless there was some truth. Although I do think about, we've talked about in this podcast, I do think about the Richard Gere conspiracy that he used to put a gerbil in his ass and how everyone thought that was true. And obviously that's, who knows, right?

Starting point is 00:57:16 But I don't think it's true. Do you think that this could just be a rumor? No, that's true. You think it's true? LeBron's dad taught the picture. What's the word on the street in suffix? You growing up in Cleveland

Starting point is 00:57:28 there's nothing to do in Cleveland Yeah Mom got bored she wanted some dick she found some And his mom was kind of young right she had him at like 16 or 17

Starting point is 00:57:35 Very young so she still got it And LeBron's dad I suspect is the United States government I think they made that motherfucker in a Petri dish You can't tell me

Starting point is 00:57:44 some 6'9 guy who can run like a fucking sprinter. They put 100% of genes into everything but his hairline. His hairline they forgot. That's the only thing they had to sacrifice. They were like, boss, we don't have any more ivermectin. We can't pump it into him, son. We gotta leave it. He's like, yeah, just send him out there.

Starting point is 00:57:57 We took the DNA from Carmelone. We took Carmelone's DNA. We took Michael Jordan's DNA. Who's speedy? Maybe we took Bob Hurley's DNA. And unfortunately, you got Michael Jordan's hairline. The only thing that was left was Robert Kelly's hairline.

Starting point is 00:58:17 Sorry about that. You got Robert Kelly's hairline. We threw that in there. Now, she definitely did it, though. Probably to her credit, she was probably thinking about taking something down on his teammates, like, early on before. Like, maybe in high school. So maybe she's looking at a little bit of pedophilic feelings for LeBron's mom. Because this guy's been playing with, like, high school, like, great athletes, you know.

Starting point is 00:58:36 Oh, what's this? Oh, no, those are Photoshopped, man. Those are Photoshopped. He's not hanging out with her. Yeah, that's after he fell. I mean, look at him now, dog. He was, like, a contributing player in the NBA who made millions of dollars. And it's just rough to see.

Starting point is 00:58:50 Supposedly, Mark Cuban has personally reached out to him, went and met him, and has got him back on his feet. Got him back riding horses. Yeah. Is this him getting stomped? Like, this is. Look at, dude, look at his beautiful wife, his family. This is like that chris heron you ever watch that chris heron documentary yeah this this has that chris heron

Starting point is 00:59:09 feel where a guy who had it all just threw it away man on drugs and that's what it was right drugs he's got mental illness he's got mental illness but i think a lot of you know drugs often runs with that like yeah you fall exacerbates that when you start doing drugs. But then I guess the mental illness maybe makes you self-medicate. But look at what happened, dog. Look at that before and after. I mean, that's rough.

Starting point is 00:59:32 He looks like Steph Curry if he worked at Home Depot. Yeah, he does. He does look like a dude who would walk up to you with a tool belt on. You know? You ask him,

Starting point is 00:59:44 hey, where's the lighting section? He's not going to know so he has to get his manager. He looks like a dude who would climb up a you with a tool belt on you know you ask him hey where's the lighting section yeah he's not gonna know so he has to get his manager he looks like a dude who would climb up a ladder to tell you if they're in or out of the tiles that you want yeah he doesn't look like steph curry at home depot oh man or he looks like a guy who works at home depot who just decided to play for the mavericks one day but it's a a sad story, but supposedly I think things are going good, or that's the last I checked in on. But that's the thing with athletes. It's like you wonder, you know, guys make a lot of money,

Starting point is 01:00:15 and you think that that money solves all the problems. It's not true, you know? It's not true. Money doesn't mean you're like, you're gonna be okay. You know, Antonio Brown, let's talk about a little ab now one of the most phenomenal wide receivers the game has ever known big story obviously he's had a litany of problems a history of problems from a to z we won't go into all of them you could just

Starting point is 01:00:42 fucking go read bleacher Report. Whatever. But Tom Brady is the one that requested. Nobody wanted to give Antonio Brown. What was the last thing he did before this? He had the antics with the Raiders. He was holding out during practice. He was having beef with John Gruden. Wasn't really reporting. They went over in hard knocks

Starting point is 01:01:01 when the Raiders were on hard knocks. Well, maybe he got a hold of Gruden's emails and got a little upset. Oh, yeah. He was a precursor to that. Yeah. Maybe Antonio Brown was the only one who, maybe he just accidentally signed into John Gruden's emails and was like, what the fuck is this all about? So the Raiders, so he got cut from the Raiders.

Starting point is 01:01:18 Yeah, and then when Tom Brady, last year on the Patriots, he reconvened with Tom Brady, they got him on the Patriots, and he had that year in New England. Right. Antonio Antonio Brown and then he took him from New England with Gronk Tom went and Gronk retired came over Antonio Brown came over after he was released by the Patriots had a reunion in Tampa Bay yeah so Tom Brady wanted him that's the thing and him and Tom Brady are good friends yeah Tom Brady I think I don't know too much about it but let him stay at his house whatever helped him out um Tom Brady seems to think when he talks it seems like he's

Starting point is 01:01:49 going through some stuff now this is touchy for me this subject I don't know how many jokes I want to make about it because I feel like this is like just another story in the NFL of players acting erratically. And now we know about CTE and how prevalent it is. Like, is this CTE or is he just a sociopath or narcissist or whatever you want to call him? Is it just CTE or is he just being a kid from Florida? A kid from Florida should actually be in the desk. It should be a mental illness. Kid from Florida taking off your shirt,

Starting point is 01:02:24 throwing your equipment into the stands that's florida that's florida that's flow rider style yeah when you walk into a psychiatrist's office you should be able to be like what do you hear from me today be like i'm sorry i'm a kid from florida i wouldn't be surprised that when oh you have kid from florida that's a bad one are you prone to owning guns and shooting uh shooting bath salts and fucking yeah you don't have covid. You're just from Dade County. Yeah, I think I got brain fog from COVID. Oh, no, it says here you're from Dade County.

Starting point is 01:02:50 I get it. I get it. That could be it. I would be surprised when he was walking down the tunnel, he had a little bit of ecstasy under his tongue. Yeah, that's true. So, Damien says every football has CTE. Antonio Brown just got a little hot.

Starting point is 01:03:03 He went for some air. That's what Spanglish is saying. Giannis, hope you and the family had a great new year. That's not what this chat's about. Giannis takes his glasses off and on more than Antonio Brown gets picked up and dropped from teams. Good one.

Starting point is 01:03:17 That's from Denton Visual. You got a little plug in there too, wherever Denton is. Antonio Brown definitely has CTE. CTE is the reason Odell Beckham Jr. likes to get pooped on

Starting point is 01:03:28 alright so there we go so there we go I think I think CTE has something to do with it Paul Verzi was telling me when you look at the timeline

Starting point is 01:03:42 of that hit and I don't know much about his prior history. I know he had problems all the way going back through college. That doesn't necessarily mean CTE. That's just spoiled athlete. That's a guy who comes from nothing, who's getting a lot of attention. There could be some family issues.

Starting point is 01:03:56 Who knows? But it also could just be a spoiled athlete who's getting everything he wants, and they act a little wild. But I don't know what he did, actually, in college. But I know he has problems going back. But Paul Verzi somehow, and I don't know if you know, because it seems like you know a little wild but i don't know what he did actually in college but i know he has problems going back but paul verzi somehow and i don't know if you know because seems like you know a little bit but perversely said that if you look at the timeline from that hit from vantez perfect the vantez perfect hit which if you watch it dude it is one of the most brutal

Starting point is 01:04:18 and dirtiest hits i've seen antonio brown is coming across the middle and vantez perfect who has a history of this shit by the way he's just a dirty football player. He's not in the league anymore right? No. You can go on the internet and watch compilations of his dirty hits. So this hit is one of the dirtiest you've ever seen.

Starting point is 01:04:37 This is after the pass is clearly not caught and Antonio Brown is helpless in the air and he doesn't make a play on the ball at all. He takes his helmet and just drives it into Antonio Brown's head and Antonio Brett is like knocked out cold. Antonio fucking Brown looked like he just went a couple rounds with Jake Paul and he

Starting point is 01:04:56 shouldn't have. Look at this fucking hit, dude. Look at this. And then look at how limp he is. Yeah, he's out cold. Look at that. Look at the hit from this side. Look at this oh and then look at look at how limp he is yeah he's out look at that look at the hit from this side look down look at this i mean and you're right if he was a little a couple of inches even more it wasn't square yeah but yo that's brain damage man yeah that causes gray matter in the brain yeah he's out cold he He's out cold. That's brain that's getting knocked out. And this is, football players, they have a lifetime of these hits.

Starting point is 01:05:33 Not to the severity, but like, you know, I mean. Sterling Shepard and the Giants, he's like one concussion away from having to retire by the protocols. What happened to Troy Aikman? Troy Aikman. Had to retire. Had to retire because he got to the point where if you have another one it becomes I mean you're this sport no there's no sacrifice

Starting point is 01:05:48 for a sport like there is this sport so I don't I'm not gonna I don't think it you know I feel for the guy I agree with Tom Brady

Starting point is 01:05:56 and Tom Brady who knows him the best in that interview was like you know he was very sympathetic and if there was not a problem I think Tom Brady would have been mad. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:07 Because, you know, it's like, dude, we're in a game. He's about that. We need you. We're in a playoff run. We already have – who else is hurt on that team right now? My mind is blank. There's another big guy down. Another big wide receiver is hurt for that game.

Starting point is 01:06:21 Gronk is out. Godwin may be hurt too. Yeah. Godwin may be hurt. And it's like we're in the middle of a game. We're losing. They. Gronk, Godwin may be hurt too. Yeah. Godwin may be hurt. And it's like, we're in the middle of a game. We're losing. They had to come back and win it. And they won it by the skin of their teeth against the Jets. Yeah, that's bad. But then there's a conspiracy theory. What was the conspiracy theory? That he was about to hit his incentive for

Starting point is 01:06:38 catches made in the game. Which he was. And he was going to get 300K or something. He was like eight or seven catches away. And the team was preventing him from doing so. But he was injured the whole week before that. But why would the team prevent him from doing so? You mean the play calling? You don't want him to play out.

Starting point is 01:06:53 You play calling, you run the ball, or you set up passes for Godwin and Evans. But he was hurt that whole week before. He was cleared by doctors. He did not practice. And Bruce Arians told him to go in. He said, yo, I'm hurt. He goes, you go in, go in you do what i tell you to or you get out the game so he left the game so if you're still hurt but you suit it up that's that's a little bit of a it's weird area so it's but that's also bad if he says i'm hurt and the guy goes get in the game i mean

Starting point is 01:07:18 that that's bad too yeah but people will say this is nfl football you're a man you're getting paid to do this this is not peewee yeah but no that no, that's not right. Yeah, it's not right. If that's what happened. It's not morally right if that's what happened. If that's what happened. Yeah. If that's what happened because when he ran off,

Starting point is 01:07:30 he didn't look too hurt. Yeah. I mean, he looked, he trotted off nice. He looked like he just came off the stage at Chippendales. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:37 Yeah. Yeah. He looked like someone just showed him a magic trick. So, we don't know, but I feel bad like, you know, making jokes about it because this is like a thing, man. This is like the guy's life. You know what I mean? It's like Barry Sanders did it right. Everyone's like, why did he retire? Why did he retire? You know, he was in the prime of his career. He was clearly the best ever. He was just on a shitty team,

Starting point is 01:08:01 but he's clearly the most gifted running back that game. I mean, the guy could run as fast as some people do vertically, fucking laterally. I mean, he was like hop jump. I mean, it was insane to watch. And he just left. And people were like, wait a minute. He's like, I'm done. That's it. Because, dude, I want to be able to talk.

Starting point is 01:08:21 I want to be able to hold my kids. I want to have a life. You want those memories. And you're not going to do that for a team like detroit right you come off the field scoring five touchdowns you go to your car tires missing right right right right right you don't want to keep getting out of that you know he moved straight out of detroit after that was or uh barry said it sucks his realtor said put me where the white people are yeah put me i want to live next to a dentist so yeah I mean it's a big story

Starting point is 01:08:47 it's crazy because like it was fun to watch him it was fun to watch him be on that team with Brady and have Brady have the options

Starting point is 01:08:53 this NFL season I've gotten really into the NFL because it's my job now Unleashed listen to it I'm Bet MGM and NFL's great

Starting point is 01:09:00 this year there's a lot of teams that could win it the Giants still got a chance in 20 20 30 yeah 20 you know it's like the thing with the giants dude it's like if you're gonna lose that bad make it fun yeah okay let's bring a mascot out that's like uh dressed in a french

Starting point is 01:09:17 world war ii outfit let's uh let's let the fans play you know what i mean i want to see saquon barkley take a couple of quarterback fucking hikes. You know? Yeah, turn it into a carnival. Turn it into a carnival, dude. If you can have negative 10 passing yards in the last game. Just have Saquon Barkley out there. Just have fun with it, dude.

Starting point is 01:09:34 Yeah. Cracking watermelons with his thighs. Yeah, why is the line not live streaming while they're playing? We can't talk, son. New York sports is bad. It's in a bad shape. New York sports is going the same way the city is. Bad. Our winning prospects are looking like some people's mortg talk, son. New York sports is bad. It's in bad shape. New York sports is going the same way the city is. Bad.

Starting point is 01:09:46 Our winning prospects are looking like some people's mortgages, son. 20-33, 20-34 at best. Bad. Yeah. The Nets got a chance. The Nets got a chance now. Kyrie's coming back. Yeah, Kyrie's coming back to play.

Starting point is 01:09:57 He's unvaccinated. Novak, they say, is going to play in Australia. It makes sense, though. But they stopped him at the airport because of all the controversy. I haven't read the latest, but, you know. It makes sense. The thing about tennis is you talk about tennis,

Starting point is 01:10:07 only three people care and they don't watch podcasts. People, I love tennis. It's one of my favorite, but like. I think you hit the location button by accident. Oh, thank you.

Starting point is 01:10:17 That's what we had, you know. Did I just look like an old man? Yeah. You got scared. Who's here? Who is it? Oh, yeah. I think someone's at the door.

Starting point is 01:10:27 Someone's here. What was that noise? He thought it was the ice cream man. I thought the ice cream man was here or someone rang the doorbell. So there's Jeopardy. If Antonio Brown got CTE from taking his hits in football, Dennis Rodman got a CTE from hits a beer pong. Oh, that's what you call a subpar.

Starting point is 01:10:48 Sometimes you go to Common Roulette and you get a subpar. Don't. Just keep going. I'm sorry, but fuck. My podcast just had a bad joke on it. It's alright. I bombed last night at Greenwich. It's cool. Yeah, Giants need to dress in drag and have RuPaul as head coach. Then I would watch them. That's a good idea.

Starting point is 01:11:03 Someone said, Rapeless Burger has had a great them. That's a good idea. Someone said Rape List Burger had a great career. Okay, there you go. Giannis, I had sex with my dog. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I think I cured my COVID. That's Omar's Wild. That was an Omar's Wild. That's the guy we had on the podcast. I just forget his name because I have CTE.

Starting point is 01:11:22 The dog guy. Ethnocology? Go follow Ethnocology. podcast i just forget his name because i have cte the dog guy the dog guy yeah ethnology yeah go follow ethnology um you do that to his dog that's a weird joke but here's omar as well omar as well is back when you call his name he shows up like the candy man he's the candy man omar as well if a man transitions into a woman then how do they shrink their brain cuz that's a good question I have that same question can we

Starting point is 01:11:51 can you fully be a woman if you have the brain size of a man that's a good question Omar as well comes up with a good scientific question considering the fact

Starting point is 01:12:01 that women's brains are smaller if you trans and they look inside you're gonna have a female brain because it's half the size okay now if someone were to clip that out and they would think for any chance that i wasn't clearly joking them the rules them's the rules okay all right so this jeopardy incident is very fun. Yes. We cover the fun stuff. We got a lot to get to.

Starting point is 01:12:26 I went along on Patton Oswalt, but we got to also get to the fart in the jar. Women are breaking. It's a great year for women, as I said. Swimming records. They're making strides in combat sports uh you know uh they're they're being appointed uh in dc to high positions um and now we have a jeopardy winner uh women are doing great um what did she jared she which did records? Yeah, so she's the first transgender contestant to qualify for the Tournament of Champions.

Starting point is 01:13:08 By transgender, you mean she's a woman. Watch your mouth. My fault, Disney. She won again on Tuesday's show, bringing her to an impressive winning streak of 25 consecutive victories, earning her $897,600 and winning so far. So that's like a record. Yeah, yeah. So when you get to the Tournament of Champions, you kill them regular shows long enough so

Starting point is 01:13:30 they bring it. It's like the big dogs now. So like... So she's making... Yeah. So you can't claim any physical superiority here. She's just balling. She's just balling.

Starting point is 01:13:42 Yeah. She's balling. She's balling. And so she... Well, not anymore. Not anymore. Or who knows? Yeah, we don't know.

Starting point is 01:13:52 Who knows what's going on down there? We don't know. Yeah, who knows? So she could still be balling. Yes. She's the highest earning and longest winning woman in Jeopardy history. Right. So men still have the record.

Starting point is 01:14:05 Men still have the record. So I guess, okay, here's the controversy. Okay, now I want to know why it was a story because I'm going like, what's the issue here? Okay, so some women are a little upset. Boo-hoo, bitches. Boo-fucking-hoo. As Jesse Scatoro used to say, boo-hoo-fucking-hoo.

Starting point is 01:14:23 Boo-fucking-hoo. Step your game up, bruds. Step your fucking game up. There's a new fucking badass bitch in town, and she's sweeping up. Step your game up. Haters. Haters. You can't even claim any type of physical disadvantage.

Starting point is 01:14:43 This is a straight just ass whooping. So if anyone's upset about this who happens to be a woman, or as I like to call them, turf fishes, you freaking turfs, back up, bitch. Sorry, okay? You're the iPhone 11 and she's the iPhone 13, bitch. That's it. So I'm sorry.

Starting point is 01:15:06 If women are upset, look, the previous all-time female winner was probably upset. Said she broke my record, okay? But listen, listen. I'm sure Roger Maris and his family was upset, right? When his record got broken, times change. Athletes get stronger. Yeah. athletes get stronger yeah they get stronger they get better they have health regimens and improvements and things they can take and shots and all types of things that they can do that athletes before couldn't do so stop hating okay you're comparing two different eras, girl.

Starting point is 01:15:47 I'm sorry. I'm sorry you lost your record, whatever your name was. Who was the previous record holder? I'm looking now. Who was the also ran? She can't complain, right? You can't complain.

Starting point is 01:16:05 I mean, Jeopardy's not, Jeopardy's intersects. You know? Yeah. Yeah, you got no complaints. I'm behind it. Amy Schneider. Amy Schneider. She looks like my friend's dad.

Starting point is 01:16:17 Like, for real. I'm just saying, like, I have a friend who's that. I thought it was his dad. Yeah. Because he has his hair like that too. He's in a Jersey cover band. Now if she grabbed the, if you were in a bar in Jersey,

Starting point is 01:16:36 right, drinking, and she went up on stage and grabbed the bass, would you be like, would you say I love these guys? I would say I love these guys. I wouldn't bat an eye. Would it be transphobic to say I love these guys? I would say I love you. I wouldn't bet on that. Would it be transphobic to say I love these guys? Or would it just be what they call an honest mistake?

Starting point is 01:16:52 At least she, they didn't crack any skulls open, leave it to Patton to scoop our brains out this week. I don't know what that means. Uncle Paulie's where broads can't order sandwiches. So good for her. Good for Amy. Good for Amy, dog. I see no advantage to her at all.

Starting point is 01:17:13 She just won and broke the women's record. So I'm sorry. It's just what it is. I guess there's just more women in the world now. There's a lot more women in the world. Are there as many men transitioning into women as women as men? That would be a good question to know. Like who's transitioning more?

Starting point is 01:17:32 You know? I would think it would be there's more men transitioning into women. Because then you've got people who are like really trans who want to transition because they're trans. And then you've just got probably like a whole bunch of just like dudes who get off thinking of themselves, looking as women. You know, this guy's got those real dirty brains. So they just like put on a dress and they come, you know? And then they're like, I want to keep this going.

Starting point is 01:17:53 There's probably a few of those too. But they're mostly just people who are really trans. But this is, yeah, this is good. She was- I can't imagine there's many women who get off on the fact of being a dude because that is a thing. That's not transsexualism, right?

Starting point is 01:18:11 But there is a thing, transvestitism, I think, where guys get off on putting on women's clothing. They get turned on by it. So that is an actual thing that happens. I don't know if those people end up transitioning. It was a joke. Don't fucking take this episode down. She was robbed in Oakland, though, where she lived.

Starting point is 01:18:33 This is the fun part. Yeah. We didn't even get to the fun part. Yeah. You got caught up in the trans thing. I got you, dog. Yeah. She was robbed in Oakland, where she lives, right on the 21st day of her winning. So she has

Starting point is 01:18:45 $897 and $600 in her account currently, I believe. And she was robbed during that. Now my question is, she's a transgender woman. At what point do you drop the transgender-ness? Like when you're getting robbed, when your back is against the wall, do you just go back to your old gender real quick? Like if you're a woman and you're about to get robbed. Like a dude from the hood? Yeah, yeah. You're like, no, no, please. And then they pull out a gun.

Starting point is 01:19:10 It's like, all right, listen, dog. You drop your work voice if you're from the hood? Listen, dog, it ain't going down like that, all right? I just want to go home. I'm going to take my purse and I'm going to get up out of here, son, all right? It's a good question. It's a good question. If there was a time to do it, that's the time you might do it. That's the time you got to drop. You get a little mental advantage there. But this is a good question. It's a good question. If there was a time to do it, that's the time you might do it.

Starting point is 01:19:25 That's the time you got to jump. You get a little mental advantage there. But this is a good way. It's funny though that this is how desperate times are. That someone was watching Jeopardy. She won all that money. And they were like, I'm going to go rob this bitch. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:19:37 As if she was carrying all that money out of the studio. He was probably very disappointed. He's probably like, I just watched you on Jeopardy. You got a lot of money. She's? He was probably like very disappointed. He's probably like, what? You know, I just watched you on Jeopardy. You got a lot of money. She's like, it's all in Bitcoin. I mean, I'm sorry, Boomer. You got it wrong, Boomer.

Starting point is 01:19:52 It's a new crime now, though. You can watch game shows and rob the people who win on the game shows. Yes. So if they win a trip, you know where they're going. They're going to Aruba from when? January? All right, I'm going to rob your house. Yes.

Starting point is 01:20:02 I know how much you're winning. You're walking out with a new Jeep Grand Cherokee I'm gonna steal that yes you know I know where you gonna be at I know what you got just follow

Starting point is 01:20:10 you can follow you can just follow whoever there's just gonna be a bunch of people but that's how desperate some people are I think that he was or stupid too

Starting point is 01:20:19 I'm gonna say stupid too because that's pretty stupid was she targeted or was it just random we're joking that it was targeted. I think she was targeted, yeah. She was targeted. It might have been targeted, yeah. It was in Oakland, so.

Starting point is 01:20:31 So it could have been she just got robbed. Yeah, that would be weird if some dude watched her on television and was like, she won that money, that money's going to be mine. Yeah, try to commit game show larceny. That was funny if she just sat him down and be like, let me just explain to you how this works. That's what they say on the show. Then the government takes about 70%.

Starting point is 01:20:48 My agent takes 20%. My manager takes 10%. You really want to rob me? I'm only left with about a few thousand dollars. He's like, fuck that. I have more money than you. She should be like, I should really be robbing you. That's like a younger comic trying to pull up on an older comic that just got just for laughs.

Starting point is 01:21:03 Like, yo, put me on your show. It's like, yo, I barely don't have any development deals right now. Look, dude, I just did New Faces. I just got here, okay? I don't even have an agent. Yeah. So I hope she's okay. Yeah. Is she okay?

Starting point is 01:21:17 Yeah. Okay, good. So that's that. Plessy versus Ferguson finally got pardoned. I guess there's uh not much to say about that except um okay

Starting point is 01:21:29 I guess right it's like when the Catholic Church pardoned um Galileo like uh you know

Starting point is 01:21:37 how many hundreds of years after his death you're like alright doesn't matter yeah like I mean you can't just like

Starting point is 01:21:43 to look at stars yeah like if you were really sorry you would have said sorry before you did it you know. You can't just like to look at stars. Yeah, like if you were really sorry, you would have said sorry before you did it, you know? It's like what a dude after a court case, after a guy gets convicted and shit, and then he reads that statement, like the victim impact statement or whatever,

Starting point is 01:21:55 or the response to the victim, whatever it's called. You're going like, really, you're upset about the harm you caused? Are you really, are you really that upset? Or are you just trying to look good for the parole board? You know what I mean? If you were that sorry, you wouldn't have done it. But supposedly Plessy's family is very happy about it, right?

Starting point is 01:22:16 Like, I don't fucking know. I don't know what it does. But it's wild to think we were talking about that. 1892. So slavery ended 1865. Then from 1865 to 1892, you know shit wasn't cool. Because you weren't allowed to be, if you were black, you weren't allowed to be in a white train car. But then it was codified into law by

Starting point is 01:22:39 Plessy versus Ferguson. Because he was an activist. Plessy was an activist. That's why conspiracy here. Okay, let's hear it. I think Louisiana purposely did not pardon him because they are mad that they got played. Because Plessy was a part of the nation's first NAACP. They put that all together for activism. He knew he was white, but he kind of looked black. So he purposely sat there, which set in motion the whole civil rights era

Starting point is 01:23:05 and eventually got to the rights of black people that we have today so i think louisiana did a little a little bit mad a little bit bad that someone slipped in some uh spices into the jambalaya when they were not looking so i think that's why he wasn't pardoned ah yeah so finally he's pardoned posthumously as they say i thanks but no thanks, I guess is what you're saying. But yeah, we were talking about it. So 1892 is when it was codified, and then that went to 1954, which was not a long...

Starting point is 01:23:32 So basically, segregation was legal. And segregation is basically like, hey, this is your shit over here. It's second-class shit. That's basically a form of slavery. So, you know, that's bad. That is fucking bad. I mean, what else can you say about that except that sucks, you know?

Starting point is 01:23:53 Anyway, not too much comedy to squeeze out of that. That's trying to squeeze an orange, but it's really just a lemon. And you're going like, all right, it's making my face go like, that's too much. So that's just, I guess, thank you. I guess you go, thank you? When you get the reward, when you get the pardon, they hand him an award. It's like Mr. Bean when he took that. I remember he took that award and he just went up on stage and grabbed it and walked off.

Starting point is 01:24:15 It's one of the funniest. You ever seen that? Pull that up. It's one of the funniest. Rowan Atkinson. That show was funny, dog. Mr. Bean. The movie's funny, too.

Starting point is 01:24:22 Yeah, they were funny. This is the best Oscar grab or whatever it was he not the oscars is comedy never wins the oscars because they always shit on us but he uh it's not a speech he just ran up and grabbed it and walked off it's hilarious it's fucking hilarious that's this is how you would this is how you would receive the pardon if you were plessy's family it would look like like this. Someone should do a meme of that. I'm writing meme comedy right now. Someone should cover this story and use that as a meme of them collecting the pardon. When Jesse finds it in 2027, Elon Musk is going to be on Mars by the time you fucking find it. I'm still looking. It's good. It's become a thing on our podcast.

Starting point is 01:25:00 People love when it's Franks and Beans. We got to watch a couple of commercials. Someone just said I'm the Mr. Bean of the comedy scene. I'm taking a quick. It's too bad. Yeah. Don't forget that Giannis is the Mr. Bean of the comedy scene. Why? Why am I? When is the Pope going to pardon Bill Cosby for mixing drinks without a license?

Starting point is 01:25:34 Rachel Dolezal shed a tear today. Shout out Brian Landry's parents. Shout out Uncle Tony's Cajun Spice Y'all know what a banana split is? What does that mean? What's a banana split? 49 seconds

Starting point is 01:25:56 I don't know if we can find it This one here? Yeah, yeah Should be quick Yeah, this is the best This is one of my favorites Check it Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should be quick. Yeah, this is the best. This is one of my favorites. Check it.

Starting point is 01:26:18 That was the Plessy family. That was the Plessy family procuring their pardon. Yeah. Fuck it. Fuck you. All Yeah. Fuck it. Fuck you. All right. Last thing we got to talk about

Starting point is 01:26:29 before we get out of here today is all right. Everyone knows Marjorie Taylor Greene has been suspended so we got to find

Starting point is 01:26:36 you know that's very bad for this podcast. I used to get a lot of material from her Twitter. They suspended her Twitter for her for her wisdom. That bitch went to jail. That. That bitch went to jail.

Starting point is 01:26:48 That fake tech bitch went to jail. Kathy Holmes, whatever. And a Gasoline Maxwell is behind bars. Big deal. Big deal. But I want to talk about New York. Eric Adams, New York. And I want to talk about low-skilled labor.

Starting point is 01:27:04 So, Eric Adams made national news, I believe, because it's New York. I love the way he says New York because he's from New York. So he's like New York. He says it like New York. He almost says it like he was interviewed on that Bing Bong video.

Starting point is 01:27:18 New York. And he talks like such a New York. He's like, kids are going back to school. And he goes, I know there was a lot of question marks, but you could turn those question marks into a big exclamation point, which was a good line about how kids are going back to school. You see that interview? He goes, it was his last line, the last thing he said was smooth as fuck.

Starting point is 01:27:41 He goes, I know to this point there's been a lot of question marks about kids going in school whether they're not in school or not going he goes well we're here to turn all those question marks into an exclamation point

Starting point is 01:27:50 which was a good thing he got Jay Z in his council yeah so he's coming in he's coming in swinging he's been in office a couple days

Starting point is 01:27:59 and he came and he he was interviewed and he was talking about how he wants people to go back to work. And he gave this whole chain of labor kind of analogy. It wasn't an analogy, really.

Starting point is 01:28:12 He was just explaining. He wants those businessmen in their offices so they get their clothes dry clean. So blah, blah, blah. They go to restaurants, blah, blah. And then he used the word, what was it, low-skill labor? Which has become a thing now. Are you a low-skill laborer? It's in the chat. the word, what was it? Low-skill labor, which has become a thing now. Are you a low-skill laborer? It's in the chat.

Starting point is 01:28:29 People are going, are you a low-skill laborer? Obviously, I'm a low-skill laborer. So somebody has said something funny that Eric Adams could have added to that. Straighten out that punctuation mark, cuz. Yeah. And someone just said the Jewish space laser is Michael Rappaport. So that's what you get when you look down. Just random, just wild anti-Semitism.

Starting point is 01:28:55 But kind of funny. Tell. So, and then he goes, then the low-skill laborers will be able to do. What was the exact quote? He says it right here. My low-skill workers, my cooks, my dishwashers, my messengers, my shoeshine people. Ooh, shoeshine people. Jesus Christ.

Starting point is 01:29:12 Where do you even see shoeshine people anymore? There's still some shoeshine. I don't fucking shine shoes no more. This is 2022 and I'm 1840, dog. You hear that, Donald Rawlings? I don't fucking shine shoes. One day Harvard's gonna come in and go, I don't fucking shine shoes. One day, Harvard's going to come in and go, I don't fucking shine shoes no more.

Starting point is 01:29:26 You got me? I ain't fucking opening for you no more. Turn on the AC in here. Well, you know, you said there's a lot of people around. I don't know if you're joking. There's a lot of people around. Now, go get your fucking shine box. The shoe shine thing is a little weird

Starting point is 01:29:45 for him to say. That's a little weird. For a kid from Brownsville, though, that probably lived that life and, you know, before his time as a cop, you know, came up through the ranks like that,

Starting point is 01:29:54 he could probably relate. Now, if it was de Blasio saying it with a fake name, that's a different story. Right, right, right. Right. We had one in my old office. The shoe shine?

Starting point is 01:30:02 Yeah, in the lobby. So he's basically saying he wants everyone back to work. He wasn't doing like a, but he did say like those people go to work, then they eat at the cafes. He did do sort of that kind of thing. So what's, you know, and then people are upset because he called them low skilled workers. And all these, you know, people who want attention are going, I saw one journalist quote, I worked four in college. I had two waitressing jobs. I had this

Starting point is 01:30:26 and I had to quit because it was so difficult. And I was just going, I was going like this. I wish I could send her me just playing the smallest fucking violin in the world.

Starting point is 01:30:34 This is not the time for fucking political correctness. We're trying to get the fucking war with COVID over and save the country. So can you just shut the fuck up about what words he used? Because the substance of what he's saying is like, we got to get the

Starting point is 01:30:48 economy going, guy. I know. Look, I had COVID. I know how dangerous it can be. I know these new studies about how it stays in your brain and your organs and all that shit. Even if you had mild cases are disconcerting. They don't know what the effects are. A lot of people have died. But also think of fucking the economy

Starting point is 01:31:03 and all the people who are suffering for not being able to do their work. Okay, most people aren't dying from this thing. The rules are changing now because Omicron is proven to be less virulent. It's like, you got to catch it. Like, it's just, that's it. We can't, even if this shit was the alpha strain right now, you have to open up. That's it. It's just you have to open up. It's a Sophie's choice, but one now, it's kind of clear the choice you have to make. You can't continue. So it's like you shouldn't be paying attention to anything other than the policy behind what he's saying. We're kind of sick of hearing about you nitpicking a word he said, low-skill labor, and then you want to be this champion.

Starting point is 01:31:47 You're not a champion of the working people, Mrs. San Francisco. I went to fucking Barnard School. You're not a champion of the person, of the people, Adam McKay, with your fucking climate change video while I'm sure you live in a $ to 20 million dollar home which let me guess is powered all by the sun right right you don't got sneakers on that have rubber under them that are fucking made from oil stop it just fucking stop you can believe in climate change and support uh you know alternative sources of energy without being a fucking dick or a hypocrite. You're not a champion of the person just because you say you are

Starting point is 01:32:29 on your Twitter feed, okay? When you live in the most expensive neighborhood in San Francisco and sit behind a fucking keyboard and just go, Eric Adams, blah, blah, blah. Again, here we have some fucking Karen. Is this her?

Starting point is 01:32:41 Is this her? Yeah, this is her, right? Here she is. No, that's AOC. Uh-oh. The suggestion that any job is low skill. I mean, are you kidding me, dog? My job is low skill.

Starting point is 01:32:51 My job is low skill. I'm yelling. I'm a delicious maniac yelling into a fucking camera. What is high skill about this? Am I doing fucking brain surgery, AOC? What is high skill about your fucking job? Getting elected because you're sassy? You were a fucking bartender five years ago.

Starting point is 01:33:09 You got a BA. What is high skill about what you do? You know, yes, being a neurologist is high skill. Guess what? Even being a carpenter is high fucking skill. You know what's not high skill? Delivering my Chinese food to my fucking front doorstep and following COVID protocol. That is not not high skill? Delivering my Chinese food to my fucking front doorstep and following COVID protocol.

Starting point is 01:33:27 That is not fucking high skill. Me, Jared Horvitz, or my dog could do that. If you train him to carry the fucking bag. You can't. There are some jobs that are low skill. It's not demeaning. It's not demeaning. My dad, my granddad worked in a fucking restaurant and flipped eggs.

Starting point is 01:33:45 And then my dad worked for him doing low skill labor. How hard is it to learn how to flip eggs, you dumb fucking congresswoman? Okay? My baby will be able to flip eggs in about three years. You know what you can't learn in three years as a baby? To be a doctor. You can't learn how to create an app. There is a such thing as low skilled labor.

Starting point is 01:34:10 I mean, what are we doing? Why is she wasting time doing this? I'm sick of hearing, I'm sick of politicians tweeting their beliefs. It's like, at this point, we know what your beliefs are. You've made your beliefs abundantly clear. Now go negotiate.

Starting point is 01:34:26 I'm glad there's someone like you who's like far left so you can counter the far right. And I'm glad there's a far right so they can counter the far left even though they both suck. And I'm just, war makes for strange bedfellows.

Starting point is 01:34:37 They got to balance each other out. You don't want to have one without the other. I want them both gone. But if you're going to have one, I want the other one so they can balance each other out. But you know, I'm glad that there's someone there who's pushing for climate change and things like that. She's right about a few things. But what is this? You're spending time talking about

Starting point is 01:34:53 low skill? Okay. And again, lecturing another black guy? He's a fucking working class black guy who worked his way up to borough president of Brooklyn and then mayor. You grew up in Westchester and you went to Boston College and your boyfriend is fucking, he hurts my back he's so white. You go to Miami where you take your mask off and you eat your fucking scones

Starting point is 01:35:18 and drink your cocktails and then you hit Twitter to be a goddamn working class pop star. Fuck you. He knows what it's like to be low skill. He's from fucking Brownsville, Brooklyn. You grew up in Westchester. You're from Westchester, bitch.

Starting point is 01:35:35 It's no comparison. I want Eric Adams to go from teaching a theater class in Far Rockaway to teaching an afternoon school poetry class. Really? Who's teaching poetry in Hunts Point? And then teach a college workshop at night.

Starting point is 01:35:51 Then wake up and make coffee across from CUNY and be treated like an idiot. I want Eric Adams and every damn politician to work a single day as a low-skilled job. Guess what he did? Guess what he did? He was a cop. Before that, he probably had menial jobs that were low-skill when he had to make money. He knows what he's guess what he did he was a cop before that he probably had menial jobs that were low

Starting point is 01:36:05 skill when he had to make money yeah he knows what he's talking about will you people shut the fuck up okay teaching a poetry class is not low skill it's no skill you have no skill jobs at least he didn't say no skill because no skill would have been poetry classes and dance classes in rockaway in gentrified Rockaway, where we have hiked the prices up so much that they're comparable to Brooklyn Heights, where we kicked out working class people and minorities so we could have coffee shops and candle stores. This is where I tweet from, the new Rockaway, where Katie K. Selena lives and where she teaches her poetry class.

Starting point is 01:36:47 Do you know that's what's happened to Rockaway right yeah yeah I mean this is unbelievable it's so transparent it hurts your balls not everybody needs to be heard or seen from dog yeah I just hope people start looking at this and just going ugh like they're sitting at the Comedy Central like they're sitting at the Comedy Cellar table in 2006 and they just hear Patrice or Jim Norton or Bobby Kelly or Rick Javos go, ugh. Ugh. Ugh. How about a talk about ugh?

Starting point is 01:37:18 So he's coming and swinging, and this is his first controversy is that he mentioned low skill. You know, it's not good enough that he's a black mayor. He was a cop. He was a borough president, the first black borough president of Brooklyn. Reversed his diabetes

Starting point is 01:37:31 with veganism. He reversed diabetes with veganism. That's how he's gonna cure this fucking city. Yeah. One Dan Tofurky at a time.

Starting point is 01:37:39 Yeah. He's gonna go all the hospitals replace the respirators with ginger and lime. Jay Harvin, 15 on all social medias follow him yes sir

Starting point is 01:37:50 patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days go please join bonus episodes go check this episode

Starting point is 01:37:58 we just recorded with me and Jared Harvin we'll be doing those in studio for a little while see if that if you guys like that I don't know what you want, what you like.

Starting point is 01:38:05 I'm trying to figure it out because we goddamn need more money. I'll tell you that right now. So, patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. And please join the clips page. A reminder, join the clips page,

Starting point is 01:38:16 Long Days with Yannis clips page on YouTube. And here's the thing for 2022. Remember, tell one friend, at least one friend, who you think might like Long Days. That's all it takes for our numbers to tumble just like that. So now let's get to some small business shout-outs. What's up?

Starting point is 01:38:35 I want to give a shout-out to these special Patreon members, our small business shout-outs. There are three spots open right now. We just had three people kick off. So get on in there right now at that level. Grow with us. We support you as you support us. Nate Linder, natelinder.com. All things social media, digital.

Starting point is 01:39:01 He will help you out. He's a social media consultant and he's got great rates. Go to natelinder.com to get in touch with Nate, to get your social media game to the top level, to get that number one spot on Google, et cetera. He does all that for you. Grant Trower, any real estate need in the South Florida area, you go see granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com. Phone number 954-591-6465 if you're looking for a spot in South Florida. A lot of people moving to Miami. Hit up Grant Trower. Chris Minetti in the South Jersey, Philly area.

Starting point is 01:39:35 Get that check cashed. Go cash your check. Call Chris. 215-750-3730. Check that guido out. See what's going on. Then we got the Bronx brand. The Bronx brand is amazing.

Starting point is 01:39:49 You know it. Thebronxbrand.com. 15% off any piece of art, T-shirt, whatever print you buy with the promo code FUMES. Go check out all the original artists up there, all the art they have up there. Cool hip-hop stuff. It's the home of hip-hop. If you love hip hop, if you love New York, you got to check out the Bronx brand. And my boy Mike, he said his

Starting point is 01:40:12 long hauler name would be Black Lives Matter. Yeah, man. Eastside Cheesecakes, Julian Gregory, you know what it is. They sent us the ex-New Yorker, the Baron Von Gingerbread, the Strawberry Crunch Queen, and the Pumpkin's Mistress, and the Sprinkle Me Santa. Sprinkle Me Santa sounds a little sexual. Oh, Sprinkle Me Santa. EastsideCheesecakes.com, okay? Go right now.

Starting point is 01:40:39 They send it anywhere. They will send you the cheesecakes in that special packaging that keeps it nice and fresh. Eastside Cheesecakes, all one word on the gram. The most amazing cheesecakes. Everything is fresh. We love you, Eastside Cheesecakes. And it's good to see that you're blowing up. For the free.us all things music in Hawaii. It's an organization dedicated to providing artists from Hawaii a place to develop their craft. They host free shows. They list free shows. They post free music. And they love their

Starting point is 01:41:11 local artists. So go find out about all the local artists in Hawaii that are showcased there. If you're going to Hawaii on vacation, forthefree.us. Find out about events and everything. Love that site. Some cool bands up there. Exclusiveautoshipping.com. Get your free quote. If you're moving your wheels, you're moving your car anywhere in the world. Exclusiveautoshipping.com. Now we go into our new Patreon members.

Starting point is 01:41:40 All right. Welcome to the Patreon. Patreon.com slash Yanni Longuez. Our new members. Bob Smith, welcome. Clock Talk, Clock Talk. SA, Sa. Daniel Hagen, Mike Binder, Jacob Faust, his gentleman.

Starting point is 01:41:55 Eric Vulga, another gentleman. Garrett Richardson, Daniel Holton, Jordan. Yanni, help me settle into my mental illness with grace. The clerico. The son of Shady. The son of Sandy. Ben Carlisle. Cole Walton.

Starting point is 01:42:14 Cole Walton. Marcus Quist. Fuck your name. Marcus Quist. Q-V-I-S-T. How do you pronounce that? Quist. Whatever. Yeah. Quiff. Marcus pronounce that? Quiffst? Whatever

Starting point is 01:42:25 Quiff Yeah Quiff Marcus Quiff Kid Infinity Robert Lyons Favell and Limborales

Starting point is 01:42:34 Que pasa mi gente Thank you guys for joining We will see you next week Tell one friend about a long day It's been a long day

Yannis Pappas Hour - Bad Friend

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.