Yannis Pappas Hour - Birthday Punches

Episode Date: January 22, 2022

The Oath Keepers and proud boys need more activity nights and practice, those that advocate stupid white supremacy always themselves the worst example for it. Yanni thinks Dallas Cowboys are no longer America’s team, what do you think with these new nominations. If you want to do big numbers for the algorithm go hard left or right, don’t do what Yanni does which is make jokes. Does Pete have to be scared of Kanye, Cardi B is doing good deeds and more! Jared Harvin is in studio and this is LongDays, Wasdadealis! Listen to Yanni’s sport podcast UNLEASHED for BETMGM with Olivia Harlan Dekker here: https://jaml.ink/unleashedSponsor Butcher Box https://www.butcherbox.com/fumes/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=offline&utm_campaign=BUNDLE_DEC_2021&utm_term=fumes&utm_content=Yanni stand up tour dates & tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comJoin for weekly Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSubscribe to our clips page for podcast highlights https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwThe show goes out every Saturday & chat eps occasionally on Thursdays to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram on Wednesdays.Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Good midday or night, whenever you're watching this, you're free to do that because this is America and we are a free country. You're also free to eat as much as you want, develop some comorbidities and die of COVID. That is your right. You're also free to use antifungal cream to stop HIV. It is your right. I support it. It's America, baby. Not only do we have a boring suburbs problem, we also do have a little bit of an eating problem in this country. We can't blame it all on COVID. We're fat circles. There needs to be city ordinances that only keep buildings up to about four stories in certain cities so they don't cause solar eclipses. I'm talking to you, San Antonio and a few other cities.

Your people look like satellites. This is long days. We're going to have a great show today. A lot is going on. Cardi B is going to be paying for everybody who's died in that fire up there in the Bronx she's putting that money with that mouth that's it so if you violently died in that fire you're going to get a very nice you're going to be getting a very nice funeral that's it where she's going to be performing with Migos and she's going to be coming out there you know what I'm

saying in the front when you're laying in the casket right in front of the casket she's going to be out there doing her song and shit twerking her little uh joe biden joey b lowest approval ratings right now according to a new gallup poll his he's the first president to hit a negative number uh his approval rating right now i think is negative 30. It's the same temperature as Montreal. The Ukraine. Ooh, the Ukraine, buddy. What can you do? All we can do is send you 200 milli, but it's time for birthday punches from Putin.

You're turning however many years you are old. I don't know when the USSR broke up. It was a couple years ago. I think it was the 80s. So your country is about 20 years old now. And Putin wants to give you some birthday punches. Kanye and Pete, what's going to happen? Will they fight? I mean, Kanye did what a man does.

And he stepped to Pete in a rap song. That's what men do. Drop some lyrics. Hey, what good is a little bit of when Pete's got his dick in your ex-wife if you can't turn it into content, baby? It's 2022. Who really is a man anymore anyway? Pete's fingernails are painted.

So are Hasan Piker's. Why are men painting their fingernails? You're confusing me, okay? Either you're a woman and you got painted fingernails or you're a goth kid and you got painted fingernails. But you can't be fucking hanging out with Machine Gun Kelly and paint your fingernails. You're breaking the rules, and those are my boomer rules, and I'm sticking to them. Bill de Blasio's not running for governor of New York State. Why would he do that to us?

Why would he do that to us? Is he not a person of the people? The people are very upset that Bill de Blasio will no longer be vying for public office to represent people in New York. I don't know why you would do that to us, Bill. All we want from you is to continue to hold public office. Nobody has been more popular than you. All you got to do is ask your biggest fan, Andy Cohen. All you got to do is ask your biggest fan, Andy Cohen.

Trash cans were thrown at referees in Dallas because Dallas is just not America's team anymore. Let's move on. America's team now is the Raiders, baby, because they're in Vegas and gambling's legal everywhere. I work for a gambling company. Please keep gambling because that money goes directly into my paycheck on Unleashed. This is Long Days. It's team anymore. You know, it's antiquated. It's antiquated.

Pretty soon we're not going to be running on oil. The show Dallas is over. Oil money, you know, might as well just move a football team to Saudi Arabia or China because they got all the oil. And that's why Dallas was America's team. Let's be honest. We run on oil. We run on Mickey D's, we run on Duncan, and we run on oil. But then we had this nice little South African with a new fresh hairline move to Austin, all right, to learn jujitsu with Joe and create some renewable energy cars. It's a new time, baby. Matthew McConaughey's in Austin. Tim Dillon's not, but his house is.

And they got a new soccer team down there, okay? You go down to Austin, it looks like Brooklyn 2007. Basically a place you don't want to be if you have feelings. It's time to move on, okay? Oil does not represent what America's about anymore. You're no longer America's team. You're not even good. The Cowboys are always hailed as having a great team.

They got all this talent, and they never produce anything good. It's been years, baby. You got to go back to Troy Aikman days. You got to go back to days that Troy Aikman can even remember when he won. And that was at the beginning. Okay. He's got a good short-term memory when he calls those games. But if you ask him anything that happened while he was playing, it's a little spotty. Kid got concussed a few times. Jared Harvin's in studio. Of course, the world's most famous finger painter as well, Jesse Scaturo. We are here. So what happened in Dallas is a fan threw a trash can

at the ref. Now what I like to call this is displaced anger. This is displaced anger. Okay, this is what abusers do. Dak Prescott knew he shouldn't have run on that play and he ran and they didn't hand the football to the ref. They tried to just hike it. You know you got to hand the football to the ref, okay? This is not like Little League. That last play looked like Little League. There was just

a bunch of people running around. They're trying to hike it, and the ref's like, I got to touch the ball, guy. I mean, what did you guys just learn and they're like but we're dallas we believe in freedom stop trying to restrict us with your regulations we want to play jail rules we don't like refs we don't like laws the players should be able to carry guns on the field i should be able to protect my property i should be able to shoot linebackers if they cross the line of scrimmage because it's Texas. We love freedom. Refs are encroaching upon our freedom. Even fucking Hot Wheels, the governor got involved, I'm sure, and he said, hey, we cannot have these goddamn Democrats on the other football teams trying to beat our team. We are freedom. I mean, they throw the trash can at the ref. The ref had nothing

to do with that loss. And then Dak Prescott, okay, who got beat down once in a little fight somewhere. There's a video of Dak Prescott getting a beat down.

I think he was at some concert somewhere when he was in college and he got beat down. That's neither here nor there. I'm just giving you something to Google. Why not?

Why not tune in in the long days to know that there's something out there. I'm just giving you something to Google. Why not? Why not tune in long days to know that there's something out there you can Google and see, right? We're all up late at night scrolling on our phones anyway. And if you're not watching criminal psychology videos like Meadle 4 in the morning, once in a while you go,

I wonder what it was like to see Dak Pressbach get kicked in the head outside of a car with his shirt off. It happened in college. Isn't it funny? There's like a video for anything now. Like anything that happens in your life, someone's going to feel it. You know, he was famous when he was in college.

So, of course, when he got into the fight, people didn't help. They just started filming right away and said, hopefully, I'll get some footage of Dak Prescott getting beat up. And they did. And they did. Scott getting beat up. And they did. And they did. But Dak Prescott, after the game, even said, he goes, he found out that they threw the trash can at the ref, and he said, good for them. He said he had to issue an apology. He had to pull what we call now a Patton Oswalt afterwards.

From now on, those will be called Patton Oswalts, okay? I will never issue a Patton Oswalt's. Okay? Patio's. I will never issue a Patton Oswalt because you know what? I'm a comedian. My job is to get in trouble. Okay? When I was in school, I used to get in trouble. Do you think I went and I apologized to the teachers afterwards?

No. I did it again. So if you do want to apologize, fine. Apologize. But don't mean it. Okay? And how do you show that you don't mean you do it again you do it again we're not running for office we're comedians we're rascals nobody was a comedian in

school because they said the right thing at the right time you're a rascal you're supposed to get people upset now that takes me to this person who commented on my last video I usually don't read comments but I do read all of them because there's not enough of them for me to ignore okay so he said Yanni your show is very very funny of course everyone's always saying you're underrated where's the where the numbers blah blah blah and he goes the problem is Yanni you're too down the middle you you alienate people on the right and you alienate people on the left now fair, fair point

I'm not going to say it's not a fair point but Yanni gonna Yanni baby I'm the Robo Cheese Man this is the Fediverse you have to have one podcast you can come to at least where I don't mind pissing whoever I want to piss off off

and I don't want to hear about how the left is these cucks and they get triggered because you fucking cucks get just as triggered. I mentioned the word VAX. You guys, pussy bleeds. You start having your period right there and you start blocking me like Candace Owens saying,

what was up with that Donald Trump fucking interview? Your hero said he was for the vax and you just block, block, block, block, block like a fucking ex-girlfriend who can't handle the fact that her ex-boyfriend was a narcissist who was no good for her, but the dick was good and she can't get over it. She can't deal with her own feelings. She wants the dick more. So all she can do is block like a bitch. She can't handle it. She's got to block,

block, block, block. You guys are just as much fucking cucks as the little babies on the left who want me to call prostitutes sex workers. So shut your fucking whining, you little fucking flag-waving bitches. Do you think that was a unifying enough statement?

Bringing the people together. Do you think that was enough of an olive branch to the people who were upset that I think that the vaccine may be, may be overall decent for people? I don't know what sets people off. But what I'm saying is people on the right get just as triggered as people on the left. I know because I embrace it. I don't run for it. The lowest thing you can do as a comedian is go political, like full political. Because once you go political and pick a side, you're going to get followers. You're just going to get followers.

That's like with people who aren't really funny. Look at all the pundits. Remember, what was her? Kellyanne Conway. We're going to watch that on the Patreon episode. We're going to do that, and we're going to watch the old rapper ditch. Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. We got a new series called

Extra Long Day. Bay Ridge Boys. Shit. God damn it. Okay. Bay Ridge Boys. No. Come on. Shit. Come on. God damn it. Ooh wee. Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. Yeah. Although Patreon.com Bay Ridge Boys is still up, so it's still money flowing.

There's people still joining that shit to listen to those classics. So you can do that too if you want to just hop on and hop off just to listen to all the bonus content. But Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. Me, Jared, and Jesse sit around, and we talk about great, we have certain segments that we talk about. And let's talk about that.

What did I just say again? Kelly Ann Conway. Kelly Ann Conway stand-up set. We're gonna take a peek at that. Kelly Ann Conway tried, Dave Rubin We're going to take a peek at that. Kellye Conway tried... Dave Rubin was another one who was a comic who failed, who then became big as... He was like a liberal.

He's like a gay liberal, but then he went conservative. When you go conservative, when you go conservative right now, you're going to get a fan base. You're going to get that reactionary fan base. You're going to get that, you know, you're going to get that fan base of the people You're going to get that, you know, you're going to get that fan base of the people who want you to watch them so they can make money,

but all they're railing against is just the interest of pharma. You know, pharma is the only one who's got self-interest. Not the podcasters. Those people are doing it just for your good. They have no self-interest in it whatsoever. It's just for you. People are only, any time you see someone with a microphone talking to you. It's just for you. People are only, any time you see someone

with a microphone talking to you, they're thinking about you. The reason why I do this show is not because I want you to join my Patreon and make money and I could really care less about you because I don't know you. It's because I care so much about you. Can people stop being so offended by people who don't know them? What do you care what I say? I don't know you. I'm not in your family. Okay. I don't pay your bills. I'm not your cousin. I didn't cheat on you. I'm not your expert. Why would you get mad at anything I said? But then on the other hand, you say you love freedom. Isn't that the point of freedom to get pissed off at what someone says? Hate watch me if you would. You know how many things I hate watch? There's nothing wrong with hate watching. I'm a perfect

hate watch because you know I'm going to say something you're going to hate. And you know me things i hate watch there's nothing wrong with hate watching i'm a perfect hate watch because you know i'm gonna say something you're gonna hate and you know i'll occasionally say something i'm gonna love i love following the people who comment on my twitter there's a few accounts and i just love watching because sometimes they get so pissed and a few of them have been honest and like i just can't quit him though because then he'll say this but then he always says that and i hate him yeah i got you hooked i got you hooked like a marine corporal who's breaking you down to build you up to make you a long hauler so you're gonna be just in the cyclops cult you won't be able to get out i'm gonna be like that con man that's in that new documentary on netflix right now which is uh one

of the most amazing things you ever see in your life. I watch it. I don't remember the name of it right now. It just came out. But this dude was such a good con man. Just watch it. He gets people to like, he isolates people from their entire family and friends for like 10 years while he just milks their accounts and they can't do anything about it. He's like under their spell so much. It's the puppet master this shit is so fucking fascinating and lets you know how much power sociopaths and psychopaths you know can yield in this world they're so charming they're so fucking charming took my wife to the doctors today to sort out her Tourette's. Turns out she doesn't have Tourette's. I'm a cunt, and she really does want me to fuck off.

Shout out to Mr. Colin Coe. That was pretty funny. Yeah, that was pretty funny. Yeah, she's cursing not because she has Tourette's, but because you're a shitty husband. Very funny. Hate watches for Kanye. Kanye's a good hate watch.

Hate watch is underestimated. a good hate watch is great who do I hate watch I do a lot of hate watching sometimes you just gotta go to some of those like Hollywood Instagram profiles just for a good hate watch it's a good hate watch here we go

yeah get that ready for the Patreon patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. Join up. We're trending up. A lot of people joined last week. Want to thank you for that. Join the clips page, Yanni Long Days clips. Also, I'll leave a review on Apple, iTunes.

You know the deal. I've been sending out a bunch of free shirts. I can't offer you that now because I'm running out of shirts. But hell, go write a review. If you DM me your address, I might just send you a free shirt if I got them. So go leave a five-star review over at Apple and DM me your address. I might send you a shirt. Also, right now, if you're watching this, we are in San Diego.

Me and Jared Harvin are right now in San Diego. So I'm sure there's some tickets. What can you do? I'm not selling out, selling out. Selling good, not selling out, selling out. Maybe it's sold out. I don'm sure there's some tickets. What can you do? I'm not selling out, selling out. Selling good, not selling out, selling out. Maybe it's sold out. I don't know. I doubt it. So get your tickets if you want. GiannisPappasComedy.com or just show up, call the club, whatever. Then also we got dates in San Antonio, Tampa, Phoenix, Bloomington, Phoenix, Bloomington, Minnesota, and New Westminster, Canada, and Edmonton, Canada.

And Soul Jules. And Soul Jules, February 5th. Soul Jules is in where? Frederick's? Royersford. Royersford, but he moved it. Just go to my website. It's in Pennsylvania.

No, where the fuck is it? Frederick's something. We'll look it up. Can you look it up? Yeah, I'll look it up. Yeah. Thank you. I'm sure I'll get that in three seconds. Whereas if I ask Jesse to look it up, it could be tomorrow. Yanni will be kidnapped by the time you're watching this. Come to Milwaukee Improv. Okay, I will. So, I mean, I digressed a bunch right there, but I wanted to get that rant off my chest. You know, I get it. I know.

I get those comments all the time. You're underrated. Why is your show not bigger? All you got to be concerned with is you need to just spread the word. There's only one rule to the Fediverse, and that is talk about the Fediverse. That's the one rule to the Fediverse. So tell a friend, recommend this to one friend who you think, at least one friend, who you think would love this show

and don't worry about that. It's gonna grow. My emphasis is always on doing something good. That's why the show is good and will be good, will get better and will be good

and then whatever happens, happens. I'm a happy kid. You can't have everything in the world. Okay? I live a balanced life and it is what it is. I'd rather be doing this than making some fucking Marvel movie where I want to kill myself. Trust me, I know very famous people. They're not as happy as you think. Stop thinking there's something wrong with your life because you work at a Sheetz in Pittsburgh, okay? You're

fine. You're fine. Trust me. It's not everything. Those people are miserable because they're always chasing more and more and more and more. There's no end to up. And then they just end up in the fucking grave pushing up daisies, baby, just like the rest of us. Just do what you love and do it to the best of your ability. But even if you don't, even if you just have a shitty job, okay, you have a shitty fucking job. That's why they call it work. It's called work because it's not fun. Then in your free time, get some good friends. Join a Dungeons and Dragons cult.

You know, storm the Capitol. Have some fun in your life. There's a lot of free time. I'm joking about storming the Capitol. That's a joke, YouTube. It's a joke, it's a joke, it's a joke. But there's a lot of groups you can join like the Proud Boys, the, you know, what what are the other some of these other but let's just

call them what they are loser fraternities the proud boys the what's the new one that they're trying to make the oath keepers the oath keepers i mean they're these are just fucking off campus adult might as well be the movie old school which i'm right now, except it's going to be a sequel to Old School. It's going to be a sequel where Vince Vaughn and Luke Wilson, they all become bitter and radicalized, and they want to join another fraternity, so they start the Proud Boys. And instead of having a party at their house, they have a rally with tiki torches. And they don't invite girls because girls don't get it. Girls are too maternal.

And we need hard, radical, alpha men. Because that's what Jordan Peterson said. That's what we're going to do. It's a sequel to old school. What can we call it? What can we call it? Old school. I mean, that's a funny thing dog if there was a spoof on old school because it's really just a fraternity it's an adult

fraternity when you join the outpost boys or the federal boys or the the eagleheads or the red white and blue club or the proud boys you know or whatever or the the red the Revolutionary Coats. I'm sure there's one of those. They probably got all types of really cringy, cheesy names to just kind of rationalize what it really is. You guys are a fraternity, and that's fine, dog. I'm sure they got good activities.

I'm sure, I mean, the Proud Boys can't be storming shit every night. I'm sure they got good activities i'm sure i mean the proud boys can't be storming shit every night i'm sure they got like proud boy bingo night they got proud boy like truly night like who's bringing the trulies you know and i bet you they i bet you they you know because whenever dudes do extreme stuff like that on the opposite i bet you like the way that you can get into the proud boys is you got to be like a figure skating fan there's always something like look there's only one way in because they're trying to they say like wait we're just trying to weed out all the people who may be who may be working for the government maybe undercover but really it's just a bunch of kids who really like figure skating who uh you know because they like finger skating something's off and they want to storm you know storming may be fun

but how about instead of storming the Capitol, you storm something fun? What could be fun you could storm? You could storm a lot of fun shit. Storm the ocean. You can get your aggression out that way. That would be like the methadone of storming. You know? Because I know storming the Capitol, that's a real rush.

That's like the heroin of storming. But if that's illegal or if that's ruining your life, maybe you can do that methadone of storming and just a bunch of you get down into your speedos, okay, like the Polar Club, and just storm the ocean. 300 guys running and screaming like it's Braveheart. One guy carrying the flag, you know, beard and guts flopping everywhere, you know, wind whistling through the missing teeth, and you just flop into the ocean and storm and just start trying to stab fishes or whatever. They don't care. Looks like a lot of these guys need to storm the gym.

Yeah, look at these guys. These are the Oath Keepers right here. Now, these guys have what you call a lot of time on their hands, dog. This is like a social club. You go to these small towns and rural areas like upstate New York and stuff like that. These guys, they like their beer cheap, you know,

and they like their conversation small-minded. Big deal. You know what would have helped a lot of these guys in college? Intramurals. Intramurals. If they had an intramural frisbee team, dog, Oath Keepers wouldn't exist. Exactly. That's what they need. I'm telling you.

Look at this guy right here, Oath Keeper. This guy. He's the leader. Yeah. Well, his nickname is comorbidity. I mean, that kid, if he catches COVID, he's done. He's fat. Yeah. These guys, look, you can't judge these guys.

All right. Let's just be honest. If I was born in Copaic, New york or if i was born in some country outpost of buffalo how am i supposed to be an open-minded guy how am i supposed to like how is it even possible for me to not be paranoid that you know there's trans liberal nazis everywhere and they're trying to storm my hometown and take away my family. How's that even possible for that not to be so?

It's almost impossible to be in a city. And like, you know, especially a city like New York, it's very hard to be racist if you live in the city. It's very easy if you live on the island because it's out. You don't see, you don't interact with many. Everyone lives in their cars. They live in their little neighborhoods.

You go to Staten Island. Those are people trying to hold on to those small-minded values. But if you live in a city where everyone's on a train interacting with one another, you go to public schools, it's impossible because you're exposed. Exactly. You're exposed. You can't be open-minded when your best friend's a raccoon. You cannot be open-minded when your best friend's a raccoon you cannot be open minded when your best friend is a raccoon

you know if I heard that I would have thought is that was that Henry Thoreau no that was Jared Harvin was that Ralph Waldo Emerson

no it was Jared Harvin you can't be open minded dog if you live in a place where the population of deer is ten times that of homomo sapiens, there's no way you're going to be open-minded. So these guys form these little social clubs. Doesn't this look like LARPing to you? What do you mean? Like live action role play? Yes, it is. It's adults, dungeons, and dragons,

and it's fun. If you have a whole network of people emailing each other saying, Hillary Clinton's a shapeshifter, Obama works for some alien liberal race that comes from another planet called Wokia and they're trying to take away the American dream, which email are you going to be more attracted to? That one or the one from AT&T that says that your automatic payment is ready.

You know? Yeah. No, these guys. That's probably a fake eye patch, son. Yeah, exactly. Looking like Nick McFlurry. I mean, these guys, it's funny because they wear all this like war garb, but these guys could not last one minute in a real unit because they're so fat and out of shape. These guys would be rejected.

Being flat footed is the least of their problems. They wouldn't get into the military because they wouldn't make the weight requirement. These guys are fat, fat fucking kids. So the Oath Keepers, what's their deal? What's the Oath Keepers, what are they into? This guy got arrested. This is very funny classic 53174 says proud boys equal overflow from the moose lodge that is exactly right do you know many of those lodges i did like doing comedy coming up we go to maine we do those moose

lodges that's like their social club in those areas and that's what what it is. This is an overflow from the Moose Lodge. It's like the Moose Lodge just got a little boring and the Moose Lodge wanted to do some activities and they're like, yo, dude, let's form a hate group because you know what? Sunday movie night's not cutting it for me anymore. AT&T secretly funded that pro Proud Boys network, Oanon.

Oanon's got that good stuff That is that pure uncut coke Right You go to Fox You're getting That coke is really white because it's cut with baby powder But everybody knows that real coke Jesse knows it the best because he used to love the hoo-hats

Didn't you used to love the hoo-hats Isn't coke brown Uncut coke is more brownish I always got the nasty dirty shit You got the dirty who-hots? Isn't Coke brown? Like, uncut Coke is more brownish. I'm nervous. I always got the nasty, dirty shit. You got the dirty who-hots. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know,

if Fox, Fox would be real white because it would be cut with baby soda. O-N-O-A-A-O-A-N-N, that's that pure Colombian uncut conservative news.

Mm-hmm. It's odd that no one burns banks down. Charlie Stevens. That's a kid no one burns banks down. Charlie Stevens. That's a kid who needs to join a club. That kid's got an urge to burn. Now look, burning down banks is illegal.

You shouldn't do it. But the kid's got an urge to burn something down. So what you do, you go to the beach, you make a bonfire and you storm the water. That's what you do.

That's what I think. So the Oath Keepers is a nonpartisan association of current and formerly serving military police first responders who pledge to fulfill the oath all military and police take to defend the Constitution

against all enemies, foreign and domestic. But who's going to defend the Constitution against them? Exactly. Oh, man. It's a little dramatic. It's a little dramatic.

But these dudes got arrested. What did they get arrested for? This guy did for January 6th. January 6th. So these were some of the guys who were down there. I guess so. Dude, I'm telling you. Look, Oath Keepers, if you're listening,

I'm not sure how many fans I have who are Oath Keepers. I'm sure there's a few. I've been on a couple of podcasts where I'm sure their fan base was large part Oath Keepers. Look, dude, I know you want to storm shit, okay? I know you want to eat tons and tons and tons of fucking Chick-fil-A. Not so much because you love the chicken, but you just love their politics. And you love chicken.

You guys are fat and out of shape. What you need is a yoga. You need a yoga. If you're going to have an Oath Keeper crew, there needs to be a yoga night in addition to a storm night. You can have a storm night. I can't stop you. I wouldn't recommend it. It's illegal.

You shouldn't do it. But I also recommend if you're going to storm, now we may get demonetized for this, but you should practice because that storming really was a fucking, if I was a coach of that storming, I would sit that fucking crew down. What was it? 400 and be like, look, that was less like you guys called you. We were going to do this like the Spartans. That looked more like the bad news prayers.

You guys look like shit. Now we're gonna go to that beach and we're gonna fucking practice storming. First things first, we fucking organize and nobody takes any podiums. We're not there for any fucking podiums. We're there for business. These are jokes about January 6th

it's bad you can't storm the Capitol it's bad but if you're gonna do it just make it look better that's all I'm saying they didn't even have uniforms

some of them did a few of them did yeah it would've been funny if they had like it would be funny this is what this is what the government

should do this is how you beat extremists you go we're gonna let we're gonna give you a storming night i know you guys really want to storm it's in your bones it's like part of what your crew's about it's what your group's about is storming storming to me is very funny because i think we you know let you can storm but this is what i need you to storm. The TikTok hype house. Storm that. Storm that. Okay? Climb that hill.

Storm the Kardashian house. Storm it. Have a way with it. Just storm it. Don't walk out with a podium. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.

Because this could be seen as bullying and harassing, right? You bully. I don't really mean do this. You bully. I'm trying to make jokes. You're bullying and harassing I'm bullying and harassing people who did everything in their power to become famous so people talk about them

and now I'm the problem now I'm the problem I'm the problem because there's idiots out there because this is the problem they think there's one guy going out there going oh my god he talk that's what I've been wanting to do that's what I've been wanting to do. That's what I've been

wanting to do. That's our problem. I'm going to storm Caitlyn. I'm going to storm Caitlyn. When in reality, someone who talks like that can't afford Wi-Fi. Cannot afford Wi-Fi. Probably never heard of Caitlyn Jenner. Probably living in a world where Bruce is still Bruce.

He's living in a world where he lost track of Bruce after the Olympics. He hasn't even been keeping up on Bruce News. There would be no Bruce News without the Kardashians. The Kardashians kept Bruce in the news and then Caitlyn kind of

kept Bruce in the news too. I feel like this is strike two. I mean, let's be honest. Would anyone be talking about Caitlyn if Caitlyn was living still as Bruce? Bruce was like the Jesse Smollett of the Kardashians. More like a sixth tier player on the show. But now he's got his own spinoff.

Caitlyn's funny too because she's like a hardcore Republican. Yeah. So a lot of trans people. She's one of the like, it tells you that like when we were talking about Andrew Gilliam last time, how him being a hero for a certain group that Dave Chappelle

might make a special about this is the way you avoid the algorithm this is how you avoid the matrix box because that's what they really are it's like in the movie Matrix

where they just swim around looking to get you when you're in that group it kind of trumps the other thing that might be bad. Yeah. Right?

So like Andrew Gilliam did something that was bad, but because he could be used as a hero for a group that Dave Chappelle might make a special about, it's good. Caitlyn, her politics are everything that the liberal elite hate. Right?

Everything. She was going to run for governor. She was going to run for governor. She was going to run for governor as a Republican. I think at some point she was against gay marriage as well. I think so. Or maybe she was later. I don't know. But she definitely is a Republican, right?

She definitely has like hardcore opinions on immigration, like, you know, the border. She's a Republican. But she was made Woman of the Year at some point, right? So it's like because I think she's in a group that Dave Chappelle might make a comedy special about that trumps, you know, that she accidentally killed someone with a car, accidentally, allegedly,

and also that she has the politics that they would ordinarily hate. Although she does take some smoke for that, I believe, on occasion. But long after she was made Woman of the Year. She was made Woman of the Year. So it's what it is,

is what we're saying. Allegedly. A, allegedly. What are you looking at I was just looking at what her views on marriage yeah what are her views

on gay marriage does anyone know in comment roulette what we're talking about the young lady Caitlyn Jenner does anyone know

what her views on gay marriage are someone just gave me $8.48 in my badges because they know you're gonna be demonetized i don't think so guys we are brought to you by butcher box one of my absolute favorite companies i'm glad they're back with us this is an absolute no-brainer this one is easy butcher box is so

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This is actually just a really high quality company that's very easy to promote. So butcherbox.com slash fumes. Get it started. Yanni bought a house and had a kid and became a Republican. It's so fascinating that people need to know the politics of their comedians. Dude, it really drives people crazy. Even in the comments I'll see, they'll be like,

Yanni obviously leans to the left. He's obviously a liberal. Like, it's so important. It's very weird. It's very strange. No, there's something very strange about that. You know what I mean? Like, it's very strange how people, it's very hard for people to grok, if you don't know that word. It's very, people, to comprehend, like, a person just, you know, making jokes about whatever he wants to or even a person if I wasn't a comedian who has different opinions based on the issue. That's very hard for people that I think that speaks to sort of a really basic evolutionary need to be part of a team.

You know what I mean? It's like you're swaying from the team. Yeah. You know? you know what i mean it's like you're you're swaying from the team yeah you know what it is about dialogue too because the only other people that people prioritize to listen to with their words so much is politicians and we're always focused on where our politicians are so it'll be obvious to want to know where the politics of the comedian is because you're worrying about their words and what they're saying and the issues that they're speaking on so you know if you talk it's important to people.

That's why people worry about what sportscasters are doing. When Marv Albert was biting off prostitute nipples, that's why people were shocked by that. They were like, Marv, come on, son. Yeah. Yeah, like we said before, he just, Marv just kind of, Marv was born just a little before the Me Too era. Retired with honors.

After... Yeah, but nobody cared about this in the 90s. Nobody cared. In the 90s, you could, you know, nobody cared if Marv Alvord dumped a few sex workers in the river. No, I'm saying comedians. Like, you never gave a shit about, like, Right.

Well, that's the point. That's the point. That Jesse said it better than I did. It used to not be so important. It's, like like very important now. And it's very important. And you see certain comedians publicly advocate for certain things in order to not be bullied for whatever they may think about something, which is very intriguing to me. I'm trying to understand like what is the anatomy of this?

Like why is it so threatening to people for someone to be independent? And I don't mean politically independent. I mean just not on a team. I don't vote. I'm not a member of a party. Why can't I just say, why can't I say something you may disagree with? Why does that throw people into a frenzy? You know what I'm saying?

Like it's a frenzy. And it's funny because people will go home and have dinner with their own relatives and their own relatives will say the craziest shit they don't disagree with. They don't cut off their relatives. But if some comedian who they don't know, who they've never met, who's sitting on the other side of a screen on their phone says something, they fly into a fucking rage. Do you see what I'm saying? It's kind of wild. They'll be sitting at home and their uncle will be like, well, you know what the problem with these blacks are?

And then they'll be like, oh, that's uncle, you know, uncle. That's Uncle Lucy. He's a racist. And they won't cut off Uncle Lucy. But God forbid I say V-A-X. But they don't have to be connected to you. They have to be connected to their family. And they can just ignore them.

You, they don't have to search up on your YouTube and give you a strike. That's my point. So why do they? Why do they care so much? It's an intriguing thing. It's an intriguing question. I think politics just infected everything in the last 10 years.

It's like everything became political. And why do you think that is? You think it's because it's been heightened on the internet and everyone has a say and everyone thinks that they can move the culture and everyone wants attention so they want to say something, whether they believe it or not,

they're doing it for attention. So it's sort of like the steroids in baseball, right? It's like once somebody does it, they get the advantage, they get the competitive edge and they're getting attention because, and then the people are like, I want that attention too. So I'll say whatever. And then it's got all these people jacked and riled up because, you know, I meet a lot of these people and I'll tell you what, a lot of them don't care about what they're saying when you meet them in real life. And a lot of these people who hate me for what I was saying, I bet you if me and you hung out, it would be fucking normal and great, and you would love me.

But they, like, cut you off. They go, I can't. Yanni's saying this. I can't. I can't. They do it like I'm their mom who didn't give them love. I'm like, dude, we don't know each other. I'm a stranger.

Why do I mean mean why does what i say mean you're here to either laugh or hate watch me they're both entertaining i mean people can't tell me a good hate watch isn't good um it's fascinating it's a fascinating thing you know i have a joke about that my old special was like, when I grew up, my dad, my dad was a Republican because he was good for business. He was trying to get clients. And my mom was a Democrat

because my mom was like a human rights fucking utopian. Me and my brother used to call her a limousine liberal. She used to wear Fendi shoes, but she'd have posters of African children all over the fucking house. But she definitely needed her Fendi shoes. And then she'd talk about how great an idea communism was and then she would have her goddamn, you know,

Gucci, her Gucci frames on, you know? So, but that was like my family. They were like, nobody, it was like, and people would talk politics. Nobody, if like you were, it was, I'm telling you, this is the way the world was. It was like, it wasn't that nuts for a democrat like they they were friends people democrats republicans were friends like and everyone knew the different politics and they hung out together and they

were friends it didn't become the a to z on whether you could talk to someone or tolerate someone and now it's like can't even listen And so that's what happens. Now people are in these separate bubbles. They don't even hear each other anymore. So the left gets so far into their bubble that it becomes a bubble because they don't even check. And it's not just the algorithm. I think the algorithm fosters that, but there's something also too that people want to be heard that everyone's clamoring to get famous. And a great way to get famous is to use politics. It's the easiest thing.

If you just say certain things that you know there's going to be a certain amount of people who support, whether you believe them or not or whether you fully understand the complexities of the issue or not, if you tweet them, you're going to get a fan base. I will make this podcast bigger, quicker if I just started calling it a libertarian podcast. That's it. Or if I just started going, hey, I'm a socialist podcast. Right off the bat, there's like hundreds of thousands of people who believe that. And the algorithm will go, what have you been Googling?

Okay, you're Googling socialism. Boom, here's your socialist podcast. And we started every podcast with the Russian national anthem. Okay. And we did a praise queen AOC segment to start. That's going to go to those people. Why do you think she's a fucking freshman congresswoman who was a bartender eight years ago, has 80 million fucking Twitter followers?

How many Twitter followers? Does she have as much Twitter followers as Matt fucking Damon? I mean, she's a congresswoman. It's because she tweets hardcore, you know, politics. And so when someone starts doing that, it's just a car crash that you want to stop and watch. And that influences other people to start tweeting the same things and then it just becomes it's like gravity pulling people into

these farther and farther apart bubbles you know where that's all they see because they all reinforce each other you know what i mean how many twitter followers does this... How long has she been in Congress? How many Twitter followers does she have? She's got 12.8 million Twitter followers. Twitter. Now here's the deal. I'm not going to say she doesn't have any talent. But what I'm going to say is she doesn't

have a craft. She's not an entertainer. She can't sing. She can't't dance she doesn't know mma she's an expert in nothing okay joe rogan has how many now joe rogan very entertaining definitely knows how to keep those ratings hot i mean that boy's political opinions will sway like the wind um he's a fucking funny comic he's a comedian he has that skill grill master he's a fucking funny comic. He's a comedian. He has that skill. Grill master. He's a grill master.

Definitely. He knows how to cook meat. He's a MMA expert. Knows his shit. And he's a professional interviewer. He's got the experience for 10, over 10, 11, 12 years doing it. He also was an actor.

These are crafts. These are talents. He's a professional entertainer. And she has more Twitter followers than him. And she's only come on the scene in two years. Why? Politics. I think you're underestimating how well she can make a Shirley Temple.

I think I'm underestimating how good the rack is too. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm underestimating that if you're a woman, you definitely... Let's just say that the metaverse is going to be a matriarchy. If someone's telling me that Instagram... Look, we may live in a patriarchy, but the digital world is definitely a matriarchy because all you need is to have a small waist, pretty face with a big bank.

Yep. And by the way, Martin Luther King's day was recently. Ladies, do you think you could take one day off from the pretty face, small waist, big bank TikToks? It just didn't feel right on the big guy's birthday. Was it his birthday? Yeah, it's his birthday. It was his birthday. It didn't feel right on fucking on the big guy's birthday was it his birthday yes it was his birthday didn't feel right although he might have loved it because he was an unfaithful man here we got a good one matt damon shilling for that crypto.com scam that just got robbed for millions of hack coins and then uh nano bam ryan says Yanni's eyebrows

beat AOC's rack I don't think so Bubba how many Twitter followers you think my eyebrows would have you could make

a Twitter page with AOC's tits it could just be AOC tit pics and it would get a million followers because it's just

you know everyone loves to talk about how men are pigs but if those men could get you a million Twitter followers you would definitely give them what they want Rogan don't need vax

he eat that COVID deer meat off the bone it's an interesting point that we're making right it's like when do you think there would have been a world where someone who just got into Congress would get 12.8 million followers? I mean, she's probably got as many followers as many entertainers, music bands, you know, and she's just been in Congress a couple years. Here's the top 10. Here's the top 10.

Let's see. Let's see the top 10. Barack Obama. Okay, 10. Let's see. Let's see the top 10. Barack Obama. Okay, well, he's president. So people, you got to follow the president. He was president. Then second is Justin Bieber, the reason why one of our episodes got taken down, obviously.

Then we got Katy Perry, third. Rihanna, Cristiano Ronaldo. He's like the biggest athlete in the world. Taylor Swift. This is all female heavy. Who's that? Next one. I don't know who this is.

XO, XO Joanne? Well, it's a girl. Okay, it's another girl. Because, yeah, I'm telling you, dude, the internet is a matriarchy. Oh, it's Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. Oh, okay. Lady Gaga.

Okay, and who's after her? These are the top Twitter followers. I knew once we went to a different page, we were going to have to find it again. I think it was Ellen. AOC's TikToks are responsible for her following. Yeah, they are. But, you know, these are cults. Yeah, they are. But, you know,

these are cults. These are cult leaders. AOC's a cult leader. And also, you don't expect a woman to look like that to be in Congress, you know?

Yeah, but it's like, you know, it's funny, like people used to, like if people love AOC, if you love AOC, you can't, like it's hard for people

to criticize her if you love her. Like they either like it's hard for people to criticize her if you love her like they either you notice like they do like they do with celebrities it's like you know how you completely

write them off or you completely love them and that's what you do when you elevate people to like demigods you're giving you're making them

more than human so if you notice like nobody you can't talk to someone about AOC and be like hey how about this thing but she's pretty right on this like it's AOC I like the climate stuff, you can't talk to someone about AOC and be like, hey, how about this thing? But she's pretty right on this.

Like, as AOC, I like the climate stuff. Like, you can't have that conversation anymore. She rides too hard for one side. It's either, like, ride with her, I ride with the queen, or they make her Hitler. I bet you could, and, you know, she's neither. But what's happened is we've elevated these people into cult leaders. It's crazy. So who else we got?

So far, it makes sense. And my theory, I think, still remains true that women have the advantage because... Now, let me ask you, are there any ugly women who have the top spot? Who's... Oh, yeah. Is Ellen up there? She's number eight. She's number eight.

She's number eight. But yeah, those followers are paid for by, yeah, I think, do you really think Ellen's demographics on Twitter? It's 50-year-old housewives with short haircut and neck fat who order Cheesecake Factory cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory online store. They don't get off the couch.

Those women are not on Twitter. Those are fake accounts paid for by whatever network she was on until she disgraced herself for being a bitch. You're not even allowed to be a bitch. You're not even allowed to be a bitch in Hollywood. When they came out and they said, oh, she had like a different rope for people to walk,

I'd be like, yeah, what do you think she was going to be? Do you think she was going to be Mother Teresa? She's Ellen. She's a star. Excuse me, I got Omicron. So Ellen's up there then. Okay. So that just disproves my theory that they're all hot.

Wait. Check out the Prime Minister of India. Is that a man? Modi. Well, he's just up there because there's a billion Indians. Yeah. So it's the same reason why Yao Ming would go to the All-Star Game every year. Yeah.

Yeah. When you open up the voting to the world, it just there the chinese got the numbers indians come out with who else is up where's aoc she's got to be low yeah she's low youtube is 10. she's low but she's still shakira your boy jimmy's up there jimmy's up those are all fake you know a lot of those are fake followers. That's a fact. That's just a fact. They boost those.

They pay for those. There's no question. There's no question. And they pay for the views on some of those videos. And that kicks in the algorithm. A lot of times they pay YouTube to just promote in the algorithm to push it. Those aren't real. Nobody's following Jimmy Fallon to listen to what Jimmy Fallon's going to tweet. Nobody's interested.

Nobody's tuning in. I love Jimmy Fallon. He's a great guy. But I mean, is he a person? Who's Jimmy Fallon? Do you know anything about Jimmy Fallon? No. Besides the fact that he likes blackface, no.

Besides the fact that he secretly likes to drink. Do we know anything about Jimmy Fallon? Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Check if one of his followers is Jack Daniels. You see, when I say we've become a Budweiser commercial, it's like everyone is a commercial for themselves.

It's a commercial. Do we know anything about Jimmy Fallon? It's a straight up promotion of a brand. You're no longer a person. You're a brand. You're a brand. You're a commercial. Do we know anything about Jimmy Fallon? It's a straight up promotion of a brand. You're no longer a person. You're a brand. You're a brand. You're a brand. It's almost like Andy Warhol was right.

Like it was some type of genius prediction that everyone would have, everyone would be famous and have their 15 minutes of fame. It's almost like somehow he predicted before the technology that facilitated it. He understood something about American culture. He understood that really this is a casino of fame, that people want fame.

It's the ultimate elixir and that somehow everyone was going to seek it. And that's kind of what we're doing now. We're just on the internet. The people who are watching this right now are also somewhat performers too it's all big one big open mic they're an audience but guess what they all have their own pages where they're posting their own stuff it's just nobody gives a shit because they're not a delicious maniac like the robo cheese and they look to you to be their voice yeah and a lot of them are looking watching to pick up tips on what they're gonna do for for their show. What they're not going to do. Like wear a white t-shirt.

They're not going to do wear a white t-shirt, flirt with demonetization, you know. At least it's not a green shirt. It's not a green shirt. Am I saying anything? Am I just going off?

Is this crazy? Is anything I'm saying making sense? No, you're speaking your mind. I'm speaking my mind doesn't mean I'm making sense. No, you're making sense. You're speaking your mind. You're doing it at the same time.

Jimmy Fallon's got an ape. Jimmy Fallon has an ape. Yeah. He's doing that because he wanted to not to fit in is jimmy fallon in the illuminati no he's not in the illuminati they don't let jimmy fallon in the illuminati no you guys need to tighten up your conspiracy theories okay jimmy fallon's not in the illuminati what's he gonna do show up like what's up guy you know like what are you doing you know jimmy fallon is jay leto so you're driving you're driving what's that like i mean that's what he does he sits there and he laughs at whatever you say he's a company man he's also the nicest guy in the world so i'm just saying and he's very talented extremely talented and i'm sure he loves

doing that i'm sure every day he loves going in there and you know doing what he does. The kid got to dance with Obama. He also made Nate Bargatze a star or helped him out. You know, Nate deserves he's a great guy he's great for comedians

he's a great guy but I'm just saying we don't know who Jimmy Fallon is. Okay? We don't know who Nate Bargatze really is either. Because if you hang out with him, it's a little different than his act.

The one thing we know is he does not run this Twitter account. He doesn't run his Twitter account. He doesn't run Jimmy Fallon. Not only does he not run his own Twitter account, he doesn't run Jimmy Fallon. Okay? That would be like

if this podcast was brought to you by NBC. Do you think yanni would own yanni you think i would run yanni you think i'd be able to say i wouldn't be able to say 95 percent of the things that i say on the show 98 98 if i didn't own yanni now you have this group of people like a few of us who actually do own ourselves and we say things and people connect to it people like oh someone's finally being flawed. Someone's finally being vulnerable. Someone's finally telling me what they really think. Someone's finally doesn't have an agenda beyond just like trying to make you laugh or trying to entertain you. And that is very

threatening to this old establishment. That is very threatening to this establishment, that is very threatening to this establishment, this system, this institution, where they are basically big advertisements for corporations. When you watch The Tonight Show, The Tonight Show in the old system is a commercial for commercials. That's what it is. It's a allotted time slot for you to attract eyeballs.

It's a commercial to get you to watch the commercials that play. Is that a good way to put it, Dizzle? Yep. Like shows are commercials for commercials, right? So that's why sitcoms have to be, you know. Product placement promos. Yeah, and just like they're commercial for commercials. The only reason why the sitcom exists, that block of time,

is to get people to tune in so then they can see the dish soap commercials. That's the only reason that that sitcom is there. They used to have them embedded in the show. They used to be like, brought to you by welcome to the white family from the suburbs. Leave it to Beaver. Brought to you by Nabisco.

And Chuck Fuller Nuts Coffee. Remember Chuck Full of Nuts? Remember that? That was the coffee before. Brought to you by Sanka. Dude, Gutfield is the number one late night show. Yeah.

On Fox News, he's beating all those guys. Yeah, I mean, look, if you want to be the number one news show, the one thing you don't want to do is news news is a buzzkill yep so if you're on a news network and you want to get ratings it better not be news he's beating colbert yeah because there's been like a seismic shift in this country who the fuck is greg gutfield greg gutfield's on fox he's beating colbert that's wild that he's that colbert's on a major network and he's being beat by Fox. He used to be

like, you know, network numbers pulled in bigger numbers than... And then we just got Grimace in pain says, now it's Pfizer. I'm going to Walmart to lick grapes. Jimmy Fallon escaped from the Wuhan lab.

That's from the Random Hero 77. Giannis is a fungi state. I don't know what that means. Someone just wants to know, Francis Ngannou or Gane this weekend? I'm going to go with Gane. I think Gane's going to win. It's a heavyweight MMA fight. Yeah, I know.

Yeah. I think he has a little bit more agility. Talk about Nikki Glaser's cringe Saget song. Can we pull that up? Let's wait for the Patreon for that. But make a note. Make a note. We will be talking about Nikki Glaser's Bob Saget song on the Patreon,

as well as what was the other thing we were talking about? Kellyanne. Kellyanne Conway's comedy, as well as some horrible musicians that we found on YouTube just to watch how bad it is. So enjoy. Yanni's trying to play beer pong with Jimmy tonight. All right.

So Cardi B is, yeah yeah just save that for the patreon patreon.com slash yanni long days to hear uh where we really go in and have some fun have some fun fun fun there's certain material that belongs in the patreon for people who are a little less snitchy and that's what we're gonna do patreon.com slash yani Long Days for your extra long day. So Cardi B's paying for a very tragic fire in the Bronx. Somebody left a space heater on or something. Very tragic news. 17 people died in the Bronx, New York.

It's a borough of New York. If you haven't seen any Jackie Chan movies, there are no white guys with mohawks there. You ever watch Rumble in the Bronx? Yeah. And then you're going like, I love how when Hollywood does their version of what New York boroughs look like, guys with mohawks there you ever watch rumble in the bronx yeah and then you're going like i love how when hollywood does their version of what like new york boroughs look like

you know and they make it a tough neighborhood and it's like some white guy with a colored mohawk attacking jackie chan you're going like what part of the bronx is that rumble in williamsburg yeah so cardi b's from the block the bron. Is she going to pay for these funeral calls for these victims of this Bronx fire? Which is very nice. You know, that's a very nice thing. So we just wanted to give you some Tank's good news. I love Frank.

I love him. Tank Sinatra. I was about to call him Frank Sinatra. And I love the way he called himself Tank Sinatra, rhyming with Frank. Kid's a good marker. He's from the island too, Tank Sinatra. And he's a good kid. I love him.

He's a friend of mine. Check out Tank's Good News. But this is just a good story. This is just a good story. She's got the money. You know what I mean? And she's paying for the funerals. That's very nice.

Very tragic story. So shout out to Cardi B. Yeah, it was started by Eric Adams started the Bronx Fire Relief Fund, which raised 2.5 million. So that in conjunction is going to be used with her donation. That's a good thing. Yeah. That's a good thing Eric Adams did. Okay.

Now, Eric Adams. All right. He tried to get his brother onto his personal security detail. Mistake number one. Can't do that. He called people shoeshine boys or something like that. Low skill labor. Low skill workers, yeah. Okay, now look, I don't think he was wrong in

either thing. I just think that these are bad PR moves. I think the kid is getting he was, look, he was in the minor leagues. He was the Brooklyn Borough President. Brooklyn Borough President doesn't get covered the way the mayor does. You don't. So this is like a young kid, a five-star recruit, finally getting called up to the majors. And now he's got to meet with some PR guys and go, listen, it's a little bit of a wider net here.

Bigger audience. You can't just let it rip. You know, you got to. You got to remind people of your background. You can't say low-skilled labor in a three-piece suit. You know, you can't. If you're going to you gotta you gotta remind people of your background you can't say low skilled labor in a three piece suit you know

you can't if you're gonna say that you gotta have some Tim's on you gotta have a cane going on you've got to yeah you can't you can't be doing that and then go

you know be eating at you know at McKean's Steakhouse yeah and hanging out with party promoters you can't say

I'm surrounded by poor people and ask where's your Versace handkerchief yeah cause Eric Adams also been partying he's going to clubs he's going to Nick games the kid's been party promoters. You can't say that I'm surrounded by poor people and then ask, where's your Versace handkerchief? Yeah. Because Eric Adams has also been partying. He's going to clubs. He's going to Nick games.

The kid's been, he's been hanging out with- He was at Caroline's at Tracy Morgan. He was at Caroline's at Tracy Morgan. Here's the thing, guy. Was he there the whole weekend? I'm not sure the whole, I saw a couple pictures. I'm not sure the whole weekend, but I know he definitely went to one show. I think it's good because he's supporting local business and he's showing like comedies back up.

He's a huge comedy fan, by the way. We had him on History Hyenas. You can listen to that fan by the way. We had him on History Hyenas. You can listen to that episode with Eric Adams. We had him on as a guest. He's a cool dude. He's a real guy. He's a cool dude.

He's a New Yorker. I like that. But also it's like you know what I mean? Do one show. Pop in for 10 minutes. Don't be too available. Don't watch the full

45 minute set. Take the picture and get back to running the fucking city. There's people getting pushed into subways.ways okay so Tracy Morgan's gonna be sitting there talking about he's gonna fuck Caitlyn in his ass but you have to be mayor you gotta be mayor

and people elected you because they expect that you're the guy who's gonna turn this train back on the tracks which is gonna require that at least that you make it look like you're working a lot. You don't want one of these sit and duck presidents who go on to ball games all the time and shit like that. So he goes to a Knick game. And I did like,

like I said in a previous episode, when he said, we're turning those question marks into an exclamation point. I did like that. Okay. That was very, very cool, very Trump-esque. And that flies well. If we were to put that in focus groups, people love it when they feel like they can have a beer with you. And Eric Adams feels like I could have a beer with him. You know what I mean?

And that's why, even though, it feels like I could have a nice, me, him, and Jared could sit down and we could have a nice vegan taco. We could eat healthy together. A little beetroot. The kids are vegan. He's someone you could just sit down

and have a smoothie with. But he goes to the Knick game and this is what happened when he gave his Martin Luther King speech. Come on, man. You know it's not coming right away we gotta find

the video that works you know Jesse as a producer it's kind of like when you air SNL on the west coast there's gonna be a 10 second delay yeah it's a delay Jesse as a producer is like Kellyanne Conway doing comedy here we go Here we go.

Here we go. New York, as we, as we are. Okay, now pause it. Pause it. All right, so he got booed. First thing is he got booed, which is, in New York, it's almost like love. Because it's a funny thing, New Yorkers boo, because it's funny, and that's what New Yorkers do. But if there are some real boos there,

I want to say, give the guy a couple of fucking weeks. This is why a lot of athletes don't want to come to New York. They're like, dude, I'm not dealing with that. I mean, we are so hard. It's such a big market. All the eyes are on you. The guy just got into office, hasn't had a chance to do anything.

He stands up. He should have gotten applause just because he wasn't Bill de Blasio. That should have been the first applause. The first applause should have been a fuck de Blasio chant because everyone hates de Blasio. Secondly, you're Knicks fans. You're Knicks fans and you're booing the new mayor, but then you're rooting for your fucking team? Okay? I haven't been a Knicks fan since 1999, the Larry Johnson four-point play, because it's ugly.

It's like a bad relationship I had with an ex-girlfriend and I needed to block her account. It's complicated. I don't want to see you anymore. You hurt me too much. The Knicks are painful. You should be booing the fucking Knicks they should boo James Dolan

anytime he's fucking seen they should boo him for the rest of his life for kicking Charles Oakley out the most beloved Knick of all time and so they're going to boo Eric Adams you guys need to get your priorities straight COVID has really fucked you New Yorkers up and then he goes on to do what I would think,

he's given a Martin Luther King speech, he tries to tie it into basketball. In my personal opinion, it didn't work. In my personal opinion, it came off a little cheese ball. Let's see what you think. Dr. King, during some of the most difficult moments, when the civil rights battle was on the line, Dr. King wanted the ball in his hand

And he gave his life to ensure That our country would be a better place for all of us Hold on a sec Right now Dr. King makes sure he had the ball in his hand Basically what I'm trying to say is Dr. Martin Luther King was like the Joe Morant over in Memphis. When a game's on the line, you know he's a big baller.

He's taking the shots. And I don't mean shots on the balcony of a hotel room. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to make a rhyming stupid thing here with basketball. All right, go. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. You just said we're supposed to give the ball to MLK. So if I'm asking for the ball, isn't that not the right move? He wants the ball in his hand. Why are we taking the ball? I'm giving it to MLK for the shot. There's 13 seconds left.

Okay? MLK, he's the best player on the team. He's taking the shot. I'm not taking the fucking shot. I'm not taking the fucking shot. I'm Will Purdue. I'm giving it to Jordan. All right, go. Let's win this for Team New York and Team America. Let's take the ball and have the final goal.

Thank you very much. He turned it around at the end. Thank you, man. Turned it around at the end. I feel like it might have been a little heavy-handed to try to, he didn't have to try to work basketball into his Martin Luther King. No, he didn't have to do that. Did his brother become his speech writer?

His brother. He might have hired his brother. He might have, all right. What happened was the job I had for you didn't work out, but we got another one. I'm going to need a speech writer for when I do sort of these, you know,

this isn't really a media appearance. It's more like when I give these little things, he's like, I want you to make them, you know, you know, make it, you know, if we're at a basketball arena, work it in. Work it in. He's in work it in he's like maybe he's one of his friends

who like tells him the truth he's going like you know it is Martin Luther King Day it's a little more respectful like we may just want to say

something about Dr. Luther King maybe we don't want to mention COVID because he tried to work COVID in there he tried to work basketball in there

and MLK it's like when it's MLK just make it MLK dog just make am I wrong you don't need to do too much don't do too much yeah slide work basketball in there and mlk it's like when it's mlk just make it mlk dog just make am i wrong you don't need to do too much don't do too much yeah slide it on in there just yeah i mean he got we got covid the new yorkers it's like dude mlk then the next thing you know mlk is running an offense he's running a three-man weave there's 14 seconds on the clock he's demanding the ball next thing you know he's kobe b Kobe Bryant. He's Steve Francis. I don't know what's going on.

Mobley's the two guard. You know, had a nice little career as a two guard, but they weren't great defense. Had a nice little run, Stevie Francis, but what happened,

maybe he was a little overpaid and you're like, calm down. Stick to MLK. Okay? He's going, we're going to win this like the 76 Nets.

We're going to do this like Bill Bradley and Walt Frazier and you're going like, keep like Bill Bradley and Walt Frazier. And you're going like, keep it MLK, dog. You cannot have your brother writing your speeches. Too complicated. I don't want to have to learn a Pat Riley offense to hear your speech about Martin Luther King. MLK would have been there on January 6th

smoking a stogie. I don't know what that means. I don't know which way that I'm supposed to take that. Make no mistake, Uncle Paulie's has the highlights from January 6th playing 24-7. Uncle Paulie's. Uncle Paulie's. Uncle Paulie's Uncle Paulie's Uncle Paulie's

Proud Boys Eat Free What are the other guys called? The Oath Keepers Uncle Paulie's Discount Shopping Oath Keepers Get Free Chips or a Sandwich De Blasio's next gig Comedy

Him and Kellyanne headlining Soul Jewels Comment Roulette Very funny Now, de Blasio's next gig, comedy. Him and Kellyanne headlining Soul Jewels. Comment roulette. Very funny. So he did get a cheer at the end, which means in my book that New Yorkers are rooting for him. He's not Bill de Blasio. The boo at the front was probably just like that New York love.

They boo everybody. You know, if you play in New York, you get booed. A lot of guys can't handle that. You know, even Manning Sr. said that Peyton would never be able to play in New York, you get booed. A lot of guys can't handle that. Even Manning Sr. said that Peyton would never be able to play in New York because Peyton was too sensitive to emotion. He's like, Eli doesn't care. He throws it up there, and then he goes home. He plays with his kids. He don't care. That's what made Eli more reliable in the playoffs, I'll be honest with you. If I had to pick a Manning, are you telling me if you had to pick a Manning between those two in the playoffs? Are you goingyton the better it's more skilled one or

you're going the one who's got bigger balls eli had balls i'm going peyton son you're going peyton yeah see you you are an orderly guy i don't like order you like statistics i don't like my quarterback to have his mouth open when he throw the ball yeah every time you look at eli he look confused as shit it's like my man you didn't even get sacked son yeah you handed off the ball your mouth open why your mouth open yeah why do you look so dist, he look confused as shit. He's like, my man, you didn't even get sacked, son. Yeah. You handed off the ball. Your mouth open. Why your mouth open, son? Yeah, why do you look so distressed when you just scored a touchdown? Yeah, bro. Yeah.

Eli's face looks like an AI human robot, like just figuring out how to work his face muscles. Yeah, yeah. He's always just like, you know, you see those new AI videos. They show like the AI just trying to figure out how to, you know, somebody's like pushing the buttons and they're just like. There's always a malfunction on the bottom lip. You can't close. I never liked his dumb ass face.

Yeah, he always looked like he had, like his balls were caught on his leg and he was uncomfortable. Like his ball sack was sticking to his side. His cup size wasn't right. That's what he looked like. Yeah, he just always looked uncomfortable. He always looked like he had,

he was gonna have diarrhea. But I love Eli. He brought two championships. You're a Giant fan, right? I'm a Jets fan. Oh. I mean, how could a kid so together like you be a Jets fan? Long Island.

Oh, yeah. He's one of those. Yeah. Yeah, Long Island loves the Jets. That's rough. I enjoy the Jets. It's okay. Yeah, the Jets.

Game green, baby. Yeah. You know what that teaches me about you? That means you're loyal. That means you're loyal. That means you're loyal. If you meet a Jets fan, at least you know they're loyal to their friends and family. Yeah. And if you heard what I just said, you know that I'm not.

I'm no longer a Knicks fan. I used to be a hardcore Knicks fan. It was too much pain. Michael Jordan, someone just said I'm traumatized by I have Nick's PTSD, which is a good way to express it. I do have Nick's PTSD. So, yeah, Joe Biden's, this is the lowest he's ever polled, Joe Biden, right now. And right now we've got the voting rights thing, which is being contended. I don't understand it.

All I know is when I hear voting rights thing which is uh being contended i don't understand it all i know is when i hear voting rights for joe biden i just want to go to tulsi gilbert's page to see if she's got something to say about it because at least she's a piece it's 2022 i don't really care what you're saying i just want to be able to maybe you know tickle the glue gun a little bit at least get the glue gun a little excited. This is the internet. She's definitely top five most hottest former congresswoman ever that I've ever seen. AOC number one. AOC number one. I don't know because Tulsi, she got those workouts, dog.

I don't see AOC working out like that. That's true. Tulsi looked like Pocahontas on Creatine. Yeah. So, you know, I like a woman that cares about her shape. She's working out. But her husband looks like he finger paints with Jessie. Yeah. Who, you know, I like a woman that cares about her shape. She's working out. But her husband looks like he finger paints with Jesse. Yeah, who is her husband?

It's some geeky dude. Yeah, he looks like he's in a tent in LA. Yeah. Tulsi likes to go with that silver strip like she's Elvira. Yeah, I like it. She got that Elvira or like, what was it? Remember after Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein? After she bangs Young Frankenstein, she's smoking a cigarette. And then she has a silver strip. And maybe Tulsi fucked Young Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein, after she bangs Young Frankenstein, she's smoking a cigarette and then she has a silver strip in.

Maybe Tulsi fucked Young Frankenstein and then got that silver strip. I mean. But let's see. Here she is skateboarding. I mean, she's a piece. She looks good. Yeah, she just looks good. She does yoga.

She does pushups. Where is this? Hawaii? Yeah. Yeah, she's Hawaii. She's a soldier. A lot of people like her. A lot of Democrats feel like she was like a Republican operative

because she says a lot of things that don't toe the line. But you don't have to toe the line when you look like that. You know what I'm saying? You can say whatever to me. I mean, this girl could convince me to storm anything. She gave me a call and she was like, yo, we're meeting. We're going to storm something. I'm being like, baby, I'm storming with you.

I'll storm with you. I would say she's up there. I'd say the hottest. Definitely AOC number one. AOC is a stone cold for Rome. Absolute peace. Who could get cocoaed bad? Cinema out of Arizona. what do you think about

her peace yeah i like that peace and also crazy so i crazy yeah you know those you just know that that's going to be the type of lay aoc may not be a great lay yeah well cinema when you go you know when you go over to her apartment she's going to have 12 different crystals she may have 12 different crystals and she's just yeah and she's going to rub one of them across her face and say this one's for agility yes yeah she's gonna be that type she's gonna really like really there's like a spiritual element to the lovemaking you're gonna have she's gonna be very giving it's gonna be good she's gonna have a waterbed she'll have a waterbed she's definitely gonna have like Native

American apparel somewhere dream catcher yeah dream catcher I would say those two and here we go there's a Tulsi Gabbard deep fake. Of course there is. There's a Tulsi Gabbard deep fake. That doesn't look like Tulsi Gabbard. This is the first one that doesn't look that realistic. Is this her? Yeah.

Yeah, it's not. This one doesn't look that realistic. Yeah. This might be early deep fake. This might be early, yeah. Maybe there's another page that has a better one. No, that doesn't look like her. No.

Well, what can you do? What can you do? Wait, so that's on the podcast? I'll blur that out. You'll blur that, yeah. I'll blur it. Someone just gave me another $5. Now I'm up to $13.36.

Yeah, we're going to need it. We're going to need it. And then you got to go maybe Nancy Pelosi's jugs. I haven't seen them. She's got gazungas. I haven't seen them. Do you have a spot? Is that why you're looking at your watch?

Me? Yeah. No, no, I was looking at news stories. Oh, okay. She's got some nice ones. Nice ones. But there's some other hot congresswomen. But yeah, I just go to see what Tulsi Gabbard's saying

whenever there's something big. And supposedly, Biden is, what is he doing? Is it $100 million he's giving now to Department of Homeland Security to ensure against anti-authoritative groups. And of course, the right is bugging out saying, oh, they're just going to go after people. This is all in response to January 6th. So now the right's going, oh, they're just going to go after people for criticizing the government or whatever. But I think they say in the bill, after people for criticizing the government or whatever. But I think they say in the bill,

they specify this won't be for anybody saying anything. You can say anything anti-authority you want. They just want to make sure they don't have any like organized radical, organized radicals, and also organized radicals in law enforcement or the military. So that's what they're spending the money for um so that's what they say though and you know i get people in america you're always concerned because you're going like is that what you're gonna do are you gonna keep it to that or are you gonna start policing comedians podcasts to find out if they joked about something and then put them on a terrorist so that's what she's saying but the left is saying oh we're doing this to fight the white supremacists um so that's what's happening there are there white supremacists out there there are

there just are there just are are they very organized and a threat i haven't seen much evidence to say that like i've said in the podcast before the nazis sold very organized and a threat. I haven't seen much evidence to say that. Like I've said on the podcast before, the Nazis sold out the garden in 1930-something. That's a threat. The Ku Klux Klan used to have membership of like hundreds of thousands. That's a threat.

The Ku Klux Klan now, they're like the mafia. They had their day. They had their day. And now it's just, you make movies about them. Throw them in movies. I don't know. Even when those groups get together

and march with their tiki's, what is it, like 200 dumb kids, 300 dumb kids? Still disturbing. But you're always gonna have those extreme assholes. Unfortunately, it's a horrible world. You're gonna have racists. You're gonna have those lone wolf assholes like that kid

who shot up that fucking church which was one of the most horrific crimes of all time. What's his name? Dylan Roof. Dylan Roof. I mean the kid, I mean they,

dude, they should have just been, this is what I'm for like genetic stuff. They should have registered that kid as like there's a chromosome missing on that kid.

Remember that kid he had like the bowl cut? I mean he looked like he was out of a movie. Oh, you think of the kid who shut up the the church the kindergarten no the church dylan roof the kid who shot the kindergarten also looked like he was missing the chromosome like you got to watch those kids you know dylan roof i mean the kid the kid looked like he you know the kid didn't look like he had full chromosomes, which is always ironic. Isn't it funny that the people who always preach white supremacy

are the worst representatives of it? It's never like some six foot seven, Dirk Nowinski looking scientist who's also an amazing athlete with a 10 inch dick. It's always some kid like this who's trying to convince people that he's the master race. Dylan,

you're not the master of anything, dog. Look at that kid. He is franks and beans to the bone. That's a kid who's not good at anything. Look at this kid. It's really ironic that the guy with two teeth and a fat gut with a Confederate flag is going like, we're the master race.

I'm going like, if we're the master race, we need a new representative. You're a horrible spokesperson. He looks like he tries to catch fireflies in his mouth. Look at him he's wearing a gold's gym shirt and the kid obviously does not go to gold's gym i mean he's a fucking skinny inbred looking squeak with a bowl cut you got those people who try to prove they have the master race and that's why i do think white supremacy still exists but it's not as organized of course it still exists white supremacy is only organized during the NBA finals. When LeBron and dunking on people

and Kevin Durant is doing 360 twists white supremacy is at an all time high. Yeah. And what do you mean by that? People are just like they feel inferior.

White people get inferior. They're inferior. Yeah. It's like if they don't sub in JJ Redick right now I'm going to burn down this local church. JJ Redick is what you call

diversity hire. There were some diversity hires. Because you know a lot of teams do that. Because they look at the fan base and they go like, they know the white people root for white players. So you know like Brent Price was like a diversity hire. Brent Price didn't. You know there was a lot of black ball players.

Now Mark Price, of course, was great. Now this may be before your time. Do you know Mark Price? I don't know Mark Price. You're a smart kid. You read your fucking basketball history. Thank you. Mark Price? I know Mark Price. You're a smart kid. You read your fucking basketball history. Thank you. Mark Price was an animal.

Yeah. But his brother Brent Price, or how about, I think even Danny Hurley was in the league for a second. I mean, come on. What are we talking about? You got to have those diversity hires, son. You think New Jersey can have an all black team? No.

You had to have a Keith Van Horn on that team, son. Well, Keith Van Horn was pretty good. Well, yeah. Yeah. But he looked like he knew his way around a computer. He looked like he gave birth to Dylann Roof. That is true. Yeah, he looked like he was Dylann Roof's father, Keith Van Horn.

Yeah, you need white players in Utah. Have you ever noticed the Utah Jazz team is always suspiciously white? Yeah. Suspiciously white. Until they had Gordon Hayward there. Yeah, it's always like, yeah, Stockton, Hornacek, you know. Danny Hurley, yeah, I mean, I think he's a better coach than Bobby now, but, I mean, like, Danny Hurley should have never made the NBA.

Brent Price should have never made the NBA. Maybe I'm wrong, Danny Hurley. I think Danny Hurley played for second. He played for Seacon Hall. Did he get into a big car accident or something? No, that's Bobby. Now, Bobby belonged. Bobby's one of the greatest college players ever to live,

and, you know, he was decent before the accident. I mean, he would have had a 10-year career. Brian Scalabrini, or as I like to call him, basketball's Michael Rappaport. The thing about Brian Scalabrini, though, is he's pretty, if you look at him in college, he was an animal. Brian Scalabrini, I think, but yeah, he's a 12th man. Your point, I agree with you. Brian Scalabrini was a good, really good college player.

And pretty athletic and a decent bench player. But you're right. He's an 11th, 12th guy. There's a lot of guys who aren't white who could do what Brian Scalabrini didn't. So you go like, hey, is that a diversity hire? Sometimes there's a couple of diversity hires. You can clearly see in the NBA there's a diversity hire um there's a lot of them there's a lot of those shooter guys i remember that one shoot you know they come in they get you know it's like there's a lot of guys who

can hit an occasional three you know it's like it happens um where do we start with this? We talk about peace. Nobody remembers. Democrats, white supremacy. White supremacy is where we start. Yeah, white supremacy. So yeah, there definitely is white supremacists. They're definitely not as big of a threat as they were. I would say it's,

I would say, unless there's more evidence out there I haven't seen, it's a lot less of a threat. And it depends on the region. It really does depend on the region. Unfortunately, New York, there was a lot. I mean, the Nazis that filled the garden, a lot of them were from Ridgewood, Queens. It was a German neighborhood. They shared a lot of that ideology, that anti-Semitic kind of superior race ideology. A lot of them were from Ridgewood. New York, places like that, Boston,

it's just you're not going to have, you have racists, but you're not going to have like organized white supremacists. You're going to, in Florida and Georgia, you're going to have a problem still. You're going to want to start focusing more regionally. Like there's no reason for there to be

a white supremacy watch in Boston, Massachusetts. It's over there. You're not going to need to go to Atlanta and be like, we're on the watch for a movement that may spring up here. It's not going to happen. You're not going to have to go to LA and go like, when's this white supremacy group going to happen?

Not going to happen. You're going to have to go to Florida and Georgia, Arkansas and Mississippi, and then you're going to find that they're pretty to have to go to Florida and Georgia, Arkansas and Mississippi, you know, and then you're going to find that they're pretty kind of, they're like that. They look like, you know, they look like Dylann Roof. And, you know, you got to keep an eye on those ones. The insecure ones. Yeah.

You got to keep an eye on them. You got to keep your eye on them. But, so that's what the, that's how this has become partisan too as everything becomes partisan. The right's going, oh, he's going to use this to get everybody who says anything. And then the left is quiet on this one. I haven't heard any support for it necessarily except beyond the usual,

the white supremacists are everywhere. So that's that. Kanye versus Pete, very interesting. A little more serious news. Does Pete have to be worried? Does Pete have to be worried? I haven't heard the lyrics, but he did throw some smoke at him. He said he would beat

Pete Davidson's ass. That's what he basically said. Do you think he can do that? I don't know. I mean, he can barely open his jaw. So I'm not sure if he can throw hands. I don't think Kanye can throw hands. No, no. Pete's a big kid, too. He's skinny, but he's strong.

He's skinny, but he's strong. Yeah, he's also cut. His dad was a firefighter. He has a swimmer's body if the swimmer was swimming strictly in Mountain Dew. Right. Yeah. Yeah, he looks like a strong fentanyl addict.

Here's my thing about it. I mean, Pete looks like he occasionally does fentanyl. And he's got his fingers painted. I did a rant at the beginning. Are you goth or are you not? Let's stop it. Boomer rules. He's toeing the line. What do think is i think pete is more mentally strong than kanye

because right now if you know i'm not sure if you know kanye is dating the actor julia fox she's from uncut gems the adam sandler movie she's very very good looking woman and he's been staging like photo uh photographs with her like on dates like her half naked him like eating on her stomach and stuff it's like very very weird things yeah and that led up to him not knowing the address of his daughter's birthday chicago he almost missed it oh travis scott had to leak the the uh the address to him so he's acting like very outward right pete you know he moves on from lady lady kept kate beckinsale he's done with it now he's with kim. So I think Kanye is mentally weaker than Pete. Yeah.

And I think in that game and celebrity realm, that's all you need is mental toughness, not physical toughness, because it's never going to come to that. Right. You know? Right. You're never going to have a fight between Kanye. Well, but with a guy like Kanye who's not- You're hanging out with Antonio Brown, who just had his big mishap.

Yeah. I didn't know that was Madonna. That's Madonna, right? Yeah, it's Madonna. Yeah. I didn't know that was Madonna. I thought that was like Iggy Azalea, but someone punched her in the face. I didn't know that was Madonna I thought that was like Iggy Azalea but someone punched her in the face I didn't know yeah so it was like um so I think you Kanye's gonna lose the mental toughness battle because he's showing out he's doing all these things and

Pete Davidson he just stays to himself yeah but his dick doesn't yeah no his dick his dick is his dick is the booster yeah for some people um his dick is the booster you jex it um pete his dad died 9 11 so he has a pain in him i think he can handle stuff because that's a big pain yeah he's also been to rehab and stuff like he's sort of he's dealt with stuff and he's a comedian so he can always kind of use because comedy helps you emotionally survive a lot of stuff of course kanye's like super talented i love fucking kanye's music not a great lyricist in my opinion but i can't get enough of his songs his beats i just can't get enough but kanye a lot of times very talented people are kind of mentally all over the place yes and also their trauma comes at different points in their career

like for pete very young kid and he grew up with that and he grew up to learn how to come into that own trauma. Kanye, he lost his mom at a very pivotal part of his life. It was very good. He was on the rise and talking about his daughter. Then it dawned on, of course, the album that was made for him. Then she just passed away and that was at the peak of his life. It comes at a very different time where

it can fracture you and not break you or make you rather than an artist. A lot of my trauma came later too. Yeah, you're right. When did you get struck by lightning? when i was in when i was in camp and i was in camp i was in a sleepaway camp that was a fun one we got uh let me chad my buddy chad i mean that's another story um and two other kids i have to tell you that story jesse yeah yeah yeah i got electrocuted i've been electrocuted by lightning i I've been shot. God is trying to whack me, dog. You know, I didn't almost die from COVID, but if I didn't go to the hospital, they said I could have gone into a coma from the sodium levels being so low.

What else happened? I've had my head split open with a bat. I had the poison. Remember when I was living we were roommates yes and I took an old Klonopin and had sushi and then my heart rate went down to 20s and

it was actually I got a Chris DiStefano was the one that put it together for me I didn't I was like I must have eaten

something bad had food poisoning and he was like what did you do oh because I ate the old sausage so that didn't help and our refrigerator

was broken so we had a broken refrigerator. We lived in his budget. We lived in our friend's old rent-controlled apartment that he used to live with his family. And they moved out. We just like, we renovated ourselves. We put down plywood.

It was like, we lived there eight years. We were paying like 300 bucks each in rent. At one point, it was me, my girlfriend, and Jesse that lived there. At one point, it was me, my girlfriend, Jesse, and Steven. Yeah, Stevie. Yeah, so I think Jesse, and Steven. Yeah, Stevie. So I think his family went back to the Cayman Islands,

and the apartment was just there. And so we were like, it was in Park Slope. So it was like, it used to be in a bad area, and now it was like prime location. So I was there with my girlfriend, and yeah, I was under a lot of stress because me and her were like kind of, you could tell we were breaking up or whatever. We were like going through that breakup. It was bad. I was here with my girlfriend, and yeah, I was under a lot of stress because me and her were like kind of, you could tell we were breaking up or whatever.

We were like going through that breakup. It was bad. I was broke. I mean, I was so broke. She was paying my rent. I was a comic, young comic. I had nothing. There was one time I had no money.

Remember when I ran out of money and I couldn't eat and I had to call my mom in Greece to order me Chinese food with her American Express card? Wasn't that when this whole thing happened? It was around that era. Yeah. I didn't know where you were. I think you started sleeping at Suze's. Yeah. And so I was just alone in the apartment.

I just had no money. I just got to the point where I just had zero money. And I just, you know, because when you get that broke, you just avoid it. You just kind of avoid it, avoid it, avoid it. And then I got to the point where I just had zero money. So, and I hadn't eaten.

So, and my dad was away, I think. My dad was somewhere. And then it got to the point where I just had zero money. And I hadn't eaten. My dad was away, I think. My dad was somewhere and my mother was in Greece. It was in the summer. So I just had to call my mother, wake her up at like 3, 4 in the morning and I was like, I need to eat.

Can I just... And she ordered Chinese food with her American Express from Greece. That's funny. There was a call to a Chinese restaurant from Greece sending the food to a third location. It was around that time.

It was a real low time. It was right before Marisa. When we created Marisa, it was like during the lowest part. She had left. I even used her jewelry and her clothes because she had left her clothes there. If she was a jewelry,

my ex-girlfriend worked in jewelry. So I used like her jewelry to put on Marisa from like her closet. It was all her clothes and shit. We went and got the wig I think we were getting booted out of the apartment we were getting booted

out of the apartment the fucking landlord would come and knock and we would hide because he knew that the guy Steve our boy Steve

we knew that he knew that he wasn't there because he had another house in North Carolina or something he moved to North Carolina so it was just me and him and we were like hiding we'd pay our rent

with a CD with a yeah like a money order money order we'd pay our rent by money order so it was like we were like hiding we'd pay our rent with a cd with a yeah like a money order we'd pay our rent by money order yeah so it was like we were just squatting like for years and so it was just a real low point no money and um me and her were breaking up and i popped i had one of my mom's old klonopins and i never put this together but the klonopin might have been like 10 years old and i popped it now it was actually chris that pointed it out like that's probably what did it like that could poison you and kill

you you can't take like an old antidepressant like when they expire you got to throw them shits out they become dangerous to your health i mean this one could have been 10 years old i just had the bottle and it was old and i don't i wasn't popping clonies you know so i popped it and then i also ate the sausage that was in a broken refrigerator for like a week so dude when i woke up like i got to the hospital my heart rate was down to like 20 beats they had to give me an adrenaline shot they pulled out the pads it was wild experience we couldn't find you we were looking for you yeah you didn't know where i was right no no you had an old clonny and you ate old sausage yeah it was an old pork can kill you that's the thing about pork so that's how they train the soviet soldiers yeah we're weak right you probably asleep yourself

you probably wake up in the middle of the night speaking russian or some like that you know the irony is soldier getting shot getting electrocuted by lightning all those things You know, the irony is getting shot, getting electrocuted by lightning, all those things, getting the head split open, all that. The thing I came closest to death was was eating the old pork and the old Connie. Because, dude, my heart rate went down to 20s. They had to give me an adrenaline shot. I was like, my heart was stopping. It was fucking wild.

Anyway, I don't know where we started, but that was a good story. Coming up, comic trauma with Pete Davidson. Yeah. So that was like, yeah, that was a good story. Coming up, comic trauma with Pete Davidson. Yeah. So that was like, yeah, that was a dark time in my life. I remember when we actually filmed

the Maurice video in our living room, I was in a full panic attack during the character. But the only thing is I had worked it, that character out so good on stage.

I'd been doing it for so long now on stage. So I knew the character, I knew everything. So I was just kind of like, I wasn't all there which is wild to think about i remember feeling like i was going to pass out while we were doing it and then it just hit it was like a lifeline it was like it's funny how some of your

biggest things that hit for you will come from your darkest times moments that's where all your creative juices are flowing and stuff like that and that thing was a fucking juggernaut. That thing went, whew. I mean, it, you know, that shit was like in days, it was just took off immediately. Yeah. It was like, wow.

It was so different than all our other videos. So different. Our other videos would just be hovering around. Yeah, hovering around 50,000, 30,000, 50,000. Then we started watching the Marisa video. It was like, you know,

but the Panos ones would hit I had a character before her Mr. Panos that was like I would get hundreds of thousands with that consistently like hundreds of thousands

so that was like the biggest thing I had then but that's for Greeks so Greeks there's only one million Greeks in the country so it's like you know and they all

they can't go to a comedy show unless their grandmother's there so it wasn't like that wasn't gonna support me if you're a Greek comic don't do Greek comedy there's just not enough of them if you're doing if you're indian do indian comedy and then uh yeah we looked up i remember after the first day and it was like hundred thousand two hundred and then it was just like it's like what every time you refreshed it

it was like what the and comics were reaching out to me going like yo that is funny and uh that was like the it was weird because that was like the lifeline I needed at that moment. And then that was it. And then things started going okay. So hang in there. Another Dr. Phil Pappas. Hang in there. You know, yeah, I mean, when things are hard,

you just got to wait. You got to wait. Things always get better. They don't stay. Don't freak out about freaking out. When you're freaked out, don't are hard, you just got to wait. You got to wait. Things always get better. They don't stay. Don't freak out about freaking out. When you're freaked out, don't freak out, dude. It's just a part of life. It goes like this, you know?

Unless you're Jesse. Jesse goes like this. Your lows and highs are just like that. You barely notice them. Yeah. If you're Yanni Longdays, they go like this. And if you're Jared, they just go like this. I mean, the kid is fucking cold as ice

he's got ice you ever do this yeah kid is fucking ice um so tulsi garbage a piece is what we're saying yeah and um looks like rogue from x-men yeah yeah and um that's it we're gonna end on pete you know if they fought i think it could make a lot of money. You know, but Pete is one of those guys that's just moving up who you just have to root for. You know, he's famous for, you know, the biggest thing he's known for is the whippity dates. And that's fun. And now he's a candidate to host the Oscars. He's going to host the Oscars.

They may have him host Oscars. He definitely speaks to this generation, I think. And so they know that like, I think powers that be know like, hey, this kid, you know, he's a Gen Z kid. Is he Gen Z?

20? No, he's like 27 now. He's not even that young anymore. Yeah. Yeah, I think he's around like 26. Yeah, he's just having a fucking amazing life. And good. There's not many of them left, you know? There's not many of them left going out there just slinging dick like pdd so i'd love to you know

if he if he hosts the oscars i'm still not tuning in but can you let's just see how low do you think the oscars is going to be this year the oscars ratings the ratings oh my god dude although for Pete I might want to tune in for that might tune in for Pete right yeah yeah I mean I think he did okay on New Year's Eve

with Miley Cyrus who you knew he injected with the beef yeah yeah I heard that before I hope he gives us a lecture I hope he gives us a woke lecture

a woke lecture would be fun he's got Hillary Clinton tattooed on him and that's why they love him because he's like a safe rebel. You get John Belushi. You don't know if he's going to show off naked or in a diaper. You don't know if Chris Farley is going to remember his name. Pete is

clean in rehab. He's got painted fingernails and all that. He's tattooed up. But one of those tats is Hillary Clinton. And that's all that matters. You're good to go. What, did he lose a bet how do you he loves Hillary Klan at one point he just loved Hillary yeah

yeah you know I would watch the Oscars if all of his ex girlfriends were nominated for something yes yeah I would do watch the Oscars if you know during the

Oscars they do the in memoriam for all the actors that passed if they did an in memoriam for all the chicks that he fucking laid out we're writing his opening right now right you're already do it do a video for all the chicks that he fucking laid out we're writing his opening right now we're writing your audio do a video of all the chicks who you slayed and just put it just

put the date next to it hell yeah all right let's get to our small business sponsors of which there are four free spots there's three now one more opening up there's four free spots to join uh to be a small business shout out on this show. So let's get to them. Thank you. And let's get to these small business sponsors. All right. I want to give a shout out to Nate Linder at natelinder.com, your social media guru, your consultant that'll take you to the number one spot on Google. He will help build your brand and profit from your social media and much, much more. Go to natelinder.com. That's natelinder.com. Grant Trower, our boy down in the South Florida area.

If you are looking to rent a spot, buy a spot, anything in South Florida, you hit up granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com or call his number 954-591-6465 right now. If you are in the South Jersey, Philly area, go see Chris at Minetti Financial Store. He calls it financial services. I like to just say it's a fucking store. Go in there and get your check cashed. Call Chris 215-750-3730. No website, no social media, old school. Just go, just go, you know what? Just go find Chris and tell him. That's how old school he is. The Bronx brand, baby. Love it. Bronxbrand.com.

Promo code FUMES to get 15% off of any piece of art print shirt you buy at the Bronx brand. Go peruse the Bronxbrand.com for all their cool original art. It's a revenue share with every Bronx artist they have on there. Go celebrate the home of hip hop with the Bronx brand.com. Aaron Lee, for the free .us all things music in Hawaii. They list shows. They let you know about local artists. They post free music. So go to for the free.us. Find out about all these cool bands in Hawaii, man. Really great that it's a platform for all these very good bands down there in Hawaii and all the music events down there. And then of course,

exclusiveautoshipping.com. If you want to move your car anywhere in the world, get a free quote from exclusiveautoshipping.com. All right. Welcome to our long haul gang, the Cyclops Cult inside the Fediverse. Our new members of the Patreon, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. We got Maxwell McCullen, Robert Wolfs, Liam, Catherine Steffi, Jacob Lewandowski, Uri Manor, Daniel Kingsley, Chris Hoff, Lennon Hudson, Tyler Hicks, Colby Johnston, Calvin Adriani, AB, Danny Boy, Stupid Humans. Spelled S-T-O-O-P-I-D. Stupid Humans. David Hall, Kelly, $3 Bill Cusby. Spelled Cusby, C-U-Z-B-Y.

$3 Bill Cusby. Very good. That's maybe the best of all time. Anthony, Caitlin Parleman. Caitlin Parleman. Welcome, Caitlin. Caitlin, sounds like Mackenzie. Did you go to foster care?

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Yeah. LB12. Some guy just named 12 and LB. Aussie Serb. Some guy from Australia who's Serb. Sean Byron, Sean Byron, Sean Byron something. Joseph Keeley and Rick Russell. Thank you guys. Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days.

We'll see you next week. It's been a long day.