Yannis Pappas Hour - Bitter Makes Radicals

Episode Date: November 17, 2023

Your most trusted podcaster is back with his takes. See Yanni do stand up live in your town: Ticket links on yannispappascomedy.com Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw new bonus episodes every Wednesday at https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_

Good evening, everyone. Your most trusted newsman is back again with more truth, hard-hitting facts, and an update on Megan Fox's book of poetry. It has not had the intended effect that I thought it was going to have, so I apologize. It's an editorial retraction right at the top of the episode. I thought everyone was reading it. I thought everyone got it and everyone wanted to switch their concern

for troubles in the world to how Machine Gun Kelly treated her during her miscarriage. Unfortunately, it didn't grip the nation. It didn't have the Taylor Swift effect. Hopefully we can try. Maybe Kelsey and Taylor Swift's relationship can maybe sweep up the nation

and get us back on track to the things that we care about, which is where are billionaires living? Who's dating who? And what is the new line of, I make a product that the Kardashians are going to be shoving down ladies' throats. That's what I want to know. Which one of them's got a new face? ladies' throats. That's what I want to know. Which one of them's got a new face? I want to know which Kardashian is looking like another Kardashian. How can we get back there? How can we get it back?

I thought it was going to be Megan Fox's book of poems, and it was not. It also wasn't this show. So here's one piece of news that I hope we can all get behind. It is that a 71-year-old hiker died in Colorado, and his loyal terrier stayed right by his side for months and lived somehow. That's loyalty. Can we get behind the loyalty of dogs? And can we also get behind the fact that a 71-year-old guy should not be going hiking without an Apple Watch to say, I'm lost. I've fallen.

Can we get this guy an Apple Watch? Can we get him one of those life alert things over here where he can go, oh, oh. They couldn't find him for months, which means he wasn't just hiking through the park. The guy went out into the wilderness. And when you go out into the wilderness like that with just a dog, it's animal cruelty because you're 71. You're going to have a heart attack. You're not going to be able to run from a bear. You're putting this poor dog in harm's way. And much like when I see a homeless person with a dog, I feel bad for the dog. And I want to clean the streets of the homeless people,

much like Gavin Newsom has had done in San Francisco for our esteemed guest, President Z, where they just took the homeless people and they catapult them into the river. Who knows where they went, but they cleaned up house over there. So if you want to know what motivates Americans to clean up the streets, it is a house guest who has a different political philosophy where he doesn't deal with street people and might take some secret pictures to bring back to put on his news networks to say, hey, look at what's going on in the great old capitalist San Francisco, which is woke and liberal, by the way. Look at the people living on the street. Ironically, you go to Alabama, there are no people living on the street because the whole state lives

in the dirt. So that's the only way to get people to not live on the street is have them live in the dirt. Both not great options to show the esteemed President Xi about the state of things in America. You don't want him to turn into Alex de Tocqueville and write a book going, democracy, what I saw and how it works. And he goes, that's not good, that's not good, and that's not good. Because let me tell you something, Xi, it's all good. We got Chinese restaurants. We got Chinese people carrying bags of plastic bottles around we got rappers we got Drake who's got a worker visa because he's an exceptional alien we got things going on here most importantly we got Taylor Swift uh holding white supremacy rallies through music

all throughout the country so things are going good here, Z. Okay. Yes, we got a fentanyl problem. Shame on you. Okay. You're going to blame our appetite for it. You're going to say, oh, the capitalist pigs can't keep their pig snouts out of the fake opiates. Well, listen, buddy, you're making it over there.

So thank you for meeting with Biden and agreeing to crack down on the fentanyl. We really need that to happen. We need you to help us. Boy, things are changing. Everyone scapegoat the Jews again. If you look back in history, means something really bad is coming. Let me check. Inflation, poverty, destitution, after a pandemic, global strife, other powers rising with expansionist interests. Oh boy. Oh boy, boy, boy, boy, boy. Can you smell that can of Chef Boyardee on the kitchen stove? Because ain't nothing good coming for dinner. This is Giannis Papasour. I'm here to defend whatever we have left.

And by whatever we have left, I mean a few crumbs at the table. Welcome to the red, white, and blue Captain America Newsman of the Year. I gave myself that award. Let's get down to the nitty gritty. Put on your scuba seat. Scuba seat. Put on your scuba seat Scuba seat Put on your scuba seat Because we're going deep And by deep you always know I mean

The bathtub on and on what's lying wrong and there's something up now here comes a great kid you know you can trust from the truth to the news and cameras to the fake politics and the propaganda get his kids screwed in got a lot to say oh shit it's about to be a long day it's a long day did i make myself dizzy calling myself the captain america man of news yes this made me dizzy it makes me dizzy when you get a little older, things hurt. Jesse's shoulder is still messed up five and a half weeks after the fact, but I don't blame that so much on his age as I do his refusal to go to doctors because Jesse believes that if he takes a little beetroot

and he does a little orange slices and maybe a few of these, he'll be fine. He's scared of doctors, scared of vaccines, scared of Western medicine, which is another symptom of a collapse, the likes of which I've never seen. Because let me tell you about Yanni here. They just did a study and found out that AI is going to be able to predict your probability of having a heart attack

up to 10 years. Let me live to see it. I will take anything Western medicine says. I'll do it. I will take it. I trusted more than tree bark. Called me old fashion, but I ain't drinking tree bark and I ain't taking lion's maneans mushrooms to cure my inflammation from eating pizza too fast, which hurts my dietary tract. Give me the Oprah Muscle's all. I want a hard name, a name I can't pronounce that was made by men with white coats in a lab trying to make a profit in the farm industry.

Call me old-fashioned. Yanni is making a switch, baby. Down with the revolution. Up with the suits. Don't trust anyone under 30. Leave my family and get off my property. I want to buy stock in pharma. I want to buy stock in multinationals.

And I'm going to frack. I'm looking to frack. Where's the oil? I don't care. The environment's bad. We're not meeting our goals. The UN says we're in a frack. Where's the oil? I don't care. The environment's bad. We're not meeting our goals. The UN says we're in a big emergency. I just don't want to hear it because I got property.

I'm over 40 and I'm only going to be here for a couple more years. So make me comfortable. I'm an old guy. Make me comfortable. I don't want to see young people. I don't want to see any purple hair. I don't want to see any more head wraps. I don't want to see young people. I don't want to see any purple hair. I don't want to see any more head wraps. I don't want to see any more marches. I want it all gone.

I'm a curmudgeon. I'm a white old curmudgeon. Call me John Quincy Adams. Look at me frown. Get your fun away. I don't want to hear your reggaeton anymore. No more reggaeton. I don't want you to be able to practice any religion freely because this country was founded on Judeo-Christian principles. I'll say that again. Christian principles. You know what the Jews are doing? Christianity. Let's bring it back. I want it to usurp the land. Get these kids back in Catholic schools everyone's going back to Catholic school if a girl rolls up her dress

throw her out a window make an example out of her I want those dresses down to their knees I don't want to see any more ankles close the doors of everything fun is over and fun fun makes me uncomfortable

I'm an old guy and I just don't know how to socialize anymore. I don't like fun. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see any fun. It reminds me of my age, and I hate that. That's why old people really hate fun, because it's a reminder of their age. Whenever I go to any of those fun areas where the comedy clubs are and the kids are partying,

I just go, arrr, end the fun. Stop it. Get off my lawn. Stop playing wiffle ball. Because it's a reminder. It's a reminder of my age. So I'm projecting my hate onto you because my hate is really about my age. Because my ego don't want to die. I don't know why. Dying's great if you ascribe to a certain philosophy. Nobody knows what happens. Why would we not sign up more Muslims? My goal today is to sign up more Muslims.

I want you to think about it and think about it good. We're talking amenities here. You die, you go to heaven, you get sex. What else do you want? Better than playing the harp, walking down the beach with a guy, with a pacifist Jew who's wearing sandals. You want to hang out with that Jew boy, John? I love how my dad called him a Jew boy.

I want sex. I want copious amounts of sex. Now, I don't want them young and children because I don't want them to cry when they're doing it. I would like a girlfriend who's of legal age. Let's talk amenities here. I support Muslim religion because it's got a lot of good amenities. One of those being death is good.

Death is good. And guess what? They got a point. I'll tell you what. Because life ain't fantastic all the time. So they just went, hey, listen. You know what is fantastic all the time? Dying.

So I'm in. How can I contribute to jihad? Anyhousers. any housers uh i'm very concerned about the who knows million muslim afghanis who are getting kicked out of pakistan i'm very concerned about the hundreds of thousands of muslims who've been killed by bashar al-assad whatever his name is and i'm very concerned about the hundreds of thousands of muslim Muslims who've been killed in Yemen and the ongoing conflicts between Shia and Sunni. We have to stop.

We need to unite, brothers. We need to unite and be one and stop the murder. I thought Megan Fox's book of poems was going to do it. I thought maybe a story about a loyal dog in Colorado who stood by its owner's side as his 71. When you're 71 and you decompensate, you don't decompensate that much. I guess when they found his body, it looked 81.

Why do white people insist on hiking so deep into nature? Why do white people insist on hiking so deep into nature? This fetishization of nature is like, nature's great to get some sunlight on you, but you want to stay a little close to a main road. You don't want to go so, I want to be in nature with my cell phone, with cell phone service.

Once I see, when I'm hiking, I see the bar go to one. When I see my cell phone service bar go to one, that's when I turn back. That's when I turn back. I don't keep going and go, at least I'm not alone. I got a dog with me. This poor dog was forced to probably hunt on his own and kill rodents or whatever. What kind of dog was it? Who knows? A Jack Russell Terrier. Those things can survive. But the Jack Russell Terrier. Those things can survive. But the Jack Russell Terrier was found months after he disappeared. Apparently Jack Russell Terrier stayed by his owner. So they're smart, but they ain't that smart.

Is that loyalty or stupidity? Is he just going, when I get back, he's going to be awake this time. You still not awake? Alright, I'm going to go get a couple more rodents so they survive. When I come back, we're going to play Alright, I'm going to go get a couple more rodents so I survive. When I come back, we're going to play fetch, right? And he's just nuzzling into them

and the old guy's like... Because when people die, their mouths open wide. I remember my dad died, his mouth went... This is what death looks like. So he was probably licking in the mouth. It was all dry. Maggots started to form in there he probably survived off eating the maggots but they are loyal cats would have eaten them but again probably a smarter move at that point just sticking around i mean that's the problem with emotions is they

make you do irrational things this dog was putting his own life in jeopardy when really he could have used his power of smell to find his way back to an Exxon station or something. Instead of just hanging around with some dumb, dead 71-year-old who decided to hike where he has no bars of service. All right? If he would have had this new AI technology to let him know that he was going to have a heart attack within 10 years, maybe he'd be alive and his Jack Russell Terrier wouldn't have had to survive in the woods like a wolf for months. AI can predict heart attacks and strokes more accurately than doctors. Yeah, I'm still not scared of AI. You're telling me the thing that can answer any question I have, can predict a heart attack or stroke more accurately than a doctor, and can throw on AOC's face onto a Hispanic-looking body and give me the fantasy porn that I seek after watching one of her speeches?

Where has AI failed any of us? Truly. What? Now Google is putting a warning on AI on YouTube videos because of if they're AI, because they want people to know it's a fake movie trailer. That doesn't work, dude. That doesn't work. You see that with news. You have people fact check news or they'll say the facts and people will just keep going with whatever they want to believe because what they believe nowadays is tied to their identity. And when you bring facts to an identity party, people get upset because you're threatening

their identity. You're threatening their raison d'etre. If someone is pro-Israel and you bring some facts about how brutal they've been, they don't like that. They don't want to hear it. They go just, what about this, this, that. They don't even hear it. You bring some historical facts or pro-Israeli facts to a pro-Gaza rally, they don't want to hear it. Why? It's not because it's not true. It's because it threatens their identity. Nobody wants their identity threatened. So that's why they don't believe the true news.

When it comes, you'll just see them go even deeper into a conspiracy theory. They found the tunnels under the hospital. They focus on the calendar. And they go, oh, the calendar just has dates on it. It's like, yeah, but they also found the tunnel under there and all the weapons. They go, oh, yeah, the IDF put the weapons down. So it's never ending. And then maybe they did put the weapons there.

So then the other side, the Israelis goes, that's definitely proof. There's weapons there. You think about the tunnel. There was a tunnel there. I don't think doctors are going into the tunnels to work on the railroads. Why is there tunnels under there?

But my point is you can't convince anyone of anything once they've established their identity. Nobody has any familial identity. You know, these kids are lost. A lot of them don't do anything. They're not parts of soccer teams. They don't join the chess club. The only identity out there is comedy fans and not comedy fans. And content creators and not

content creators. That's our identity. Employed, unemployed. And if you're unemployed, you pretend like you're employed. Those are our identities. So what gives you an identity is when you have a cause and you get your identity and you protect your identity at all costs. So why would Google want to try to regulate what is AI and what's not? Let it happen. Let it go. If you want to believe that Osama bin Laden's alive and he's talking to Tupac, that's your prerogative. There's going to be somebody,

there's people out there that believe that the world is flat for no reason. You think they're not going to believe that that's really Tupac? There's still people who believe Tupac's alive. You could come with police reports. You could come with how he only shows up in one place in Sierra Leone because it's one guy that looks like Tupac. And you're like, there he is. And people believe it.

They want to believe. I don't see any harm in letting people believe what they want to believe. So why would you have to tell them it's AI? Let them think it's real. I want to think Bill Clinton telling me that Hillary's a lesbo with Bill Clinton. That's a fun video. I want to see a movie that doesn't exist. Let it be creative.

Let me get excited. I'm going to see some movie that I'll forget about because I get distracted by another TikTok video. I don't think that's the problem. I still am for AI. I'm for AI. I'm 100% for AI. I also am for them militarizing. I am for militarized AI. I think it's a race we shouldn't fight. We should go with it. Militarized AI. I want robot soldiers, robot drones doing everything. And whatever side gets them first,

I want you to take out everyone who doesn't have them. Are you listening to me, Boston Dynamics? I will give you my pay from the Comedy Connection this weekend to support your efforts to create more robot dogs, robot drones, and all that stuff. That'd be great. It'll be great. No more cops making mistakes.

I want a robot world where everyone's sedated on a steady dose of surreptitiously administered Klonopin in the water supply, in the food supply, surreptitiously administered, except for the people who don't need it. You got to calm these animals down. There's a group of people that see the big picture, who live in reality,

and they want everyone else to quiet down. And I'm for it. Sedate them. Sedate them. Sedate them. I understand how these things have happened in the past. People just go, we got to go to extreme measures. Sedate everybody. They give drugs to soldiers when they go do wild things.

They don't do that sober. Nobody storms through a fence and murders civilians and rapes them when they're sober. The Nazis weren't sober. They were sitting there like this. They're all cranked up. So if we're going to give people drugs to make them go to war, can't we give

them drugs to make them go to peace? You've always been a big proponent of this sedation. Yeah. It's the only solution. It's the only solution. Some would say it's the final solution. Some would say it's the final solution. Those's the only solution. Some would say it's the final solution. Some would say it's the final solution.

Those jokes aren't as fun anymore. They're not as innocent. Sedate, sedate. I mean, come on, dude, sedate. Get it all over there. Use it all. CBD, pop brownies, everything. Slip it in.

Get it in there somehow. Create some crops. CBD, pop brownies, everything. Slip it in. Get it in there somehow. Create some crops, like mutate the crops. So it's like whatever people are growing, wherever it is, it's grown with CBD. Just grow it in. Just CBD oil. CBD oil, weed, Klonopin. These things are out there. Xanax, Xanax, bomb Xanax. Everywhere. What if we did a global trip? Everyone at the same time goes on an acid. Now we're talking. Global trip.

A global trip. All 8 billion people. Every single one. Every single one. And if you can't have it and you have a bad trip, you're too weak and we get rid of you. Global trip. A global trip would be nice.

If everyone put masks on at the same time, everyone, we can get people to global trip. Just got to trick them in a way. Create another pandemic and say, this is the antidote. And what is in it is just acid. And everyone goes on a ride, man. We need to get on a ride to cool everyone needs to cool their jets something needs to cool everyone down get them nice and calm down just like the border

crossings have now calmed down because reality has set in for a lot of our venezuelan brothers um and um people from other countries like el salvador and they've come here and they've realized oh this is a shithole too imagine coming from el salvador and going to upstate new york to stay at a holiday inn first two three days pretty promising when you're like i'll be able to find some work. And then you're there for day four or five and you've had your, you know, whatever food stamp, food they give them, the taxpayers pay for.

And of course you can only afford Taco Bell or Arby's. I bet you the people who had Arby's the first day just turned back. I bet you those people turned back. And these are things that people don't think about. I have solutions. You want to get rid of the migrants? Send them back. Give them free Arby's coupons where they can only eat the roast beef. Would you turn back? I'd turn back. I'd go, oh, wait a second. I miss my grandma's tortillas, freshly made in El Salvador. I will risk the lawlessness to not have to eat this processed shit meat roast beef sandwich again

that looks like a woman with an unfortunate poos poos. It's really an unfortunate poos poos sandwich. That's what it looks like so the migrants are turning back a lot of them are going back which is very funny a lot of them venezuelans are leaving chicago yeah it looks like an unfortunate poos poos sandwich there's no work they're going oh man there's no work our assistance is running out and also winter's coming once you get a little taste of that chicago winter maybe a lot of them are going like you know what maybe this wasn't a good idea also border crossings are down because i think the

word has spread that the land it's not as fruitful up here as you thought. I mean, Jesus Christ, if a college-educated white person is struggling to get a job, what do you think a migrant from El Salvador is going to find? There are no jobs here. To get jobs, you got to go to China. You got to go to India. You got to go to Sri Lanka.

You got to go to Vietnam, baby. That's where the low-wage work is. We don't make anything here. So unless you're a doctor, good luck finding a job. All the jobs are taken. And plus all those low jobs, half of them are gone to AI and computers anyway. So imagine showing up and just going and being like,

we'll set up shop in Rochester. And then they go to Rochester and they're like, holy fuck, man, there's nothing here. There's no opportunities here. America is not the land of opportunity anymore. It's the land of what has been. That's what it's the land of. So they're turning back, which is very funny.

I didn't expect it. Now, El Salvador has done something very interesting to help in an agreement with the United States, I guess. But El Salvador has gone, has used the technique to curb migrants for the United States by saying that for Africans and Indians, so it is kind of racist, that, um, for Africans and Indians. So it is kind of racist,

but they go in for Africans and Indians. You have to pay El Salvador $1,130 to, to pass through. So, so we'll still let you pass through, but we're going gonna take a little tax give us the money and then let america and mexico deal with it it's a very funny policy it lets you know why those countries run like shit because they're so fucking corrupt and that's why

people always want to leave them they have plenty land. It's just they got a shitty fucking government. They got shitty administration. El Salvador government is slapping a fee. It's a toll. You have to pass a toll. If you're Indian or African. If you're El Salvadorian, you just can go. But if you're Indian or African, you just can go but if you're indian and african you

got to pay uh one thousand one hundred and thirty dollars i like that they they you know they took 130 for taxes and fees so the thousand they pocket right and 130 goes to uh whatever dirt road that they say one day will be paved. This is racist. Yeah, it's very racist. Where are the protests? Yeah, where are the protests here? Those are the only ones who have to pay a fee, is Indians and Africans.

South Americans, you get a free pass. You have to pay the El Salvador toll. U.S. authorities said they stopped migrants in El Salvador more than 2 million times during the fiscal year ending in September 30th. El Salvador's government acknowledged

an uptick in travelers from those countries this year. So I guess there's a lot trying to come in from Africa and India, going through South America. Dude, because it's an easy way to get in. Why don't they just fly to the U.S., though?

I don't get that. Because they track them and they kick them out. But aren't they claiming that they're seeking asylum? Isn't that the whole deal? You could try that, but it's probably just a lot harder than walking through a fence. I don't know. I don't that the whole deal you could try that but it's probably just a lot harder than walking through a fence i don't know i don't have the answers i know my orcas they were gonna they were gonna like impeach him or do it like they were gonna get rid of him and then some they

decided against it he's the border patrol guy right isn't he homeland security or something like that um but it's going down right now. It's going to back down. And what we can thank for that is not policy, but the shitty state of our country and the lack of opportunity. Wow. Arrests to the Chinese rose to 4,247 with 99% of them in the San Diego area. More fly to Ecuador and make their way to the U.S. border amid a faltering economy at home.

Yeah, because China's economy is a little weird. So they try to go through Ecuador, and then they hop on a plane, and then they fly right in, and they're catching them there. The good news about the state of our country is that it's also becoming third world so this is feeling a lot like a lateral move for these people they're like well at least back home i can get mom's cooking you know you know if you're turning

back from chicago to go back to venezuela that it's dried up. There's just no jobs, guys. There really are none, right? How hard is it to get a job nowadays, even for college graduates? So while crossings remain unusually high, the monthly decline is a rare piece of welcome news for the White House that's been criticized. Panama has yet to release October figures for crossings

through the Darien jungle, which told more than 400,000 during the first nine months. Uh, and they were largely Venezuelans. They're all trying to get in, but guys, we got enough Venezuelan restaurants. Like, I don't know, man. The only solution is to conquer South America and just make it better. I know we'll be called colonialists, but it'll make it better. You just got to make it better. You got to just get rid of all those governments, take it over, make it America. Force them to do things a little better.

We got our problems, but we definitely are better than Haiti and Nicaragua and Venezuela. And we just got to get in there and just force our way of life on them. And then it gets better. That's it. What, what do you want from me? I'm Oliver North. Now I just,

I see the world this way. I think we've given everything else a chance. We've let everyone have their revolutions. We've had the people win all over the place. We've had egalitarianism tried. I just think you got to just, we got to sedate everyone and calm it down. And that's about it.

If your country doesn't have a comedy scene, I just don't think it's great. There's not a lot of comedies going to Haiti to do shows. So fix it. Very funny, though, that sort of extortion tax by the El Salvadorian government. It's a, it's a tough time. Even people are losing their Medicaid. 30 million people are about to lose their Medicaid as all the COVID stuff ends and all the states kind of, you know, the states start to take a peek at the numbers.

So 30 million people of the 94 million people enrolled on Medicaid, it's a lot of poor people, 94 milli in a first world country, are about to lose their Medicaid and people are upset saying Biden could have done more, but you know, he's looking at the books going, there comes a point where it just goes, Biden's just going to have to go, just do it and just don't let me see it. If trends continue, as many as 30 million people

could end up being dropped from Medicaid at some point once states finish reviewing their Medicaid rules. There's so much Medicaid fraud. And I know that from being a social worker. You know, a lot of people form their opinions from the outside. This is one I have from the inside. There's just Medicaid fraud. People work and, you know, we all are tempted to do it. We're all looking for ways to have taxpayers pay for our stuff. And because we're all fucking greedy little pigs. And that's why pure socialism will never work.

I too love the idea. Let me just say that. I'm just saying it'll never work because people will always be corrupt. And once that culture of corruption takes hold, it ruins the dream, baby. At least capitalism goes, we're corrupt. Let it happen.

And then we try to fix it along the way with socialist temp temp uh tempers we temper it with socialism but at least it's a little bit more honest about who we are because we're always everyone's always trying nobody's thinking about other people nobody thinks about other people even in friendships most of the time people are thinking about themselves. You get about two friends, and that's about it. Everyone else is thinking about what they can get. So it's a mess out there.

I mean, Truth Social, the great beacon of hope for a social media company where truth will reign, not just Donald Trump's propaganda, has lost $73 million in two years. So Truth Social has lost $73 million in two years. So Truth Social has lost $73 million in two years. So now we're going to live, yeah, it's a lot of money. It faces a potential shutdown, which is unfair, because where else can you go to hear about all,

how all my former lawyers are scum? All my former lawyers are liars. All his lawyers are flipping on him. All the previous lawyers are going like, yeah, they told me he's not going to leave the White House. They're flipping on him. He's Teflon, though, dog. He walks into the UFC arena. They cheer him.

He's Teflon. Dana White loves him. You know. And he's still probably going to win the election. And he's a president with a mugshot. He got it pinned. He pinned his mugshot. Election interference.

Never surrender. Donald Trump. Donald J. Trump. Dot com. That's another example like the uh voting booth sued and won right um so there's really no mainstream i'll even throw your bone there's no mainstream evidence that the election didn't go uh biden's way all the evidence is that it did go his way. But the people who believe that it

was stolen still just will still look for evidence and stick to that story because it's a post. I've said it many times. It's a post-truth world, baby. Truth social is he's going to go on there. Right. So the media is reporting that, and maybe he's right. Maybe they're lying. Maybe they're trying to make him look bad. I don't know anymore. That's why I only listen to my podcast because I'm the only one that tells the truth.

Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink. Who knows? But do you know what he's going to post on Truth Social? Here, I'll predict it for you. The corporate media, the legacy media has been conspiring against me forever. Truth Social is stronger than ever. We're in a surplus. It's doing good, just like my board game and my plane and my casinos. It's all doing good. My university, it was all good. What happened was they came in,

they conspired, they took it down, they stole it. He's going to say Truth Social is healthy as hell, and he's going to post that on Truth Social. So I don't know if the world can continue without Truth Social, a place where you can hear that. So media is reporting it's lost $73 million. What do you think he's going to say? Do you think he's going to admit that it's lost $73 million? Fake news. Do you think it's even possible?

I mean, when you deal with someone like him who's a wind-up doll, where you know what he's going to say, you know? My mom was like that. Like, I just knew what she was going to say. She's a wind-up doll of narcissism. So there's no way he's going to admit this. He's going to scapegoat something else. And we're entering in the era of scapegoats, baby.

Nobody admit it. Hasan Minhaj pointed to that chick. It's that bitch. Everyone's going to point somewhere else. And you know where a lot of the West is pointing right now. It's a little strip of land in between the Jordan River and the Mediterranean Sea. I will be attending a march of 3 million people

against Bashar al-Assad for the hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people that he killed in Syria. That's what I'm going to be attending a march for as well. Don't forget about those people. They suffered too. They also are suffering. Like we may suffer if there's a government shutdown.

We may. We don't know. A lot of people don't know how this works. I've lived a lot of my life not knowing what a government shutdown was. But apparently it's a bad thing. People go, what is the government shutdown? How does it happen? Well, it happens when the house and the Senate cannot agree on, uh, uh, funding for all their government programs, all their government spending. They can't agree on

a number. So the government shuts down and places that, uh, depend on spending from the government, workers who work for the government, everyone's screwed. Everyone gets screwed. The economy gets screwed because confidence in certain companies that have government contracts gets low. people sell stocks. It creates a whole problem. We've had government shutdowns before. McCarthy couldn't figure out a way to cut deals.

They got rid of him. He's the Speaker of the House. The Speaker of the House is very important because he presents the legislation. He liaisons with the Senate majority leader. They figure stuff out. He sits on committees. He makes it happen.

He's the guy. So now we have Jesus Christ in there. I think this guy's more Jesus than Jesus. He doesn't let his kids jerk off. They have an app where they support each other. His kids just sit there and they go, and they can't masturbate. Despite all the evidence of masturbation is one of the best things for you. I mean, Jesus Christ, pun intended. Mike Johnson, Mikey Johnson is the new speaker and he does not let his kids masturbate. And he is the one who is now tasked with trying to make this all happen.

So we don't have a government shutdown. So he's got to work with the other party and you know, he's going to come with some wild ideas. He's going to come. Okay. I will, I, we should budget this for Medicaid, but also every single person has to prove that they go to church six days a week, and they're going to go, I don't know if that's realistic.

He's going to go, those are my terms. Take it or leave it. He's going to go, no masturbation if Meals on Wheels wants their funding. No masturbation if Meals on Wheels wants their funding. No masturbation. We're going to have to deport Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, and all this for me to agree to this budget agreement for this upcoming fiscal year. This is what he said.

So the House Freedom Caucus, a group of far-right Republican lawmakers, announced its opposition to the stopgap measure because it doesn't include spending cuts or provisions. So that's what they end up fighting about. Like how big, how the government should be, how much it should spend. And then they reach a deal,

they're all miserable and they walk away. That's how a deal is made. People who disagree are realistic. They're not going to agree, but they make a deal because they know it'll save lives. Something that we don't see in a little strip of land the size of New Jersey. Republicans must stop negotiating against ourselves over fears of what the Senate

may do with the promise, roll over today and we'll fight tomorrow, the far right group said. So they're just going, fuck you. They're just going, fuck you. They did this to Obama. Remember that? They just wouldn't let anything go. It was just going, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. You know, they did this to Obama. Remember that they just wouldn't let anything go. It was just going, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. We're not negotiating. They're basically the Hamas of the Republican party. If you want to understand it, the house freedom caucus is that Hamas of the Republican party. So because of them, we may get a shutdown because they're just going no no no no i don't care about compromising now no no compromise no compromise and it's very un-american because the democrats have a majority right in the senate so it's like the people have spoken so make a deal

the people elected a majority there so they want a little bit more of that they want a little bit more spending they want a little bit more of that. They want a little bit more spending. They want a little bit more of those values. The Republicans have also become very far right. There's some of us out here that try to warn you people, especially some of you in positions of power, that the quote-unquote Nazis are not only on the far right, they're on the far left. The quote unquote Nazis are not only on the far right, they're on the far left. Extremists have taken hold of the right and the left. And they are threatening everyone's livelihood and fucking peace of mind.

Jiminy Crickets. Can everyone cool their jets? Cool your jets. You have to come up with a deal. So saying that is like pissing in the wind. So that's who they're called, the House Freedom Caucus. And so that's what a government shutdown is, is when the two parties can't agree on the numbers.

They sit down, they crunch the numbers, and the reason they can't agree on the numbers is because of their political philosophies. They say, I don't want to do that. I don't know if the Republicans have learned the lesson about their Nazis yet. Um, and I'm only using the word Nazi because we all use it now for everything. I think it's come, it's like the N word. It's come to mean someone who's like intolerant, right? Let's just say it like that, right? They're intolerant and they want the other people gone. They want, they can't negotiate. The Republican party has been hurt real bad by this over-calculation. Now the liberals have over-calculated how liberal

the country is, right? The Republicans have over-calculated how liberal the country is, right? The Republicans have over-calculated how much the country wants abortion. Why did that happen? I'll tell you why that happened. It was because of the left's Nazis and the right's Nazis. That's why it happened. They won the day,

and now the rest of those groups are suffering and the people are suffering. But the Republicans are suffering and they won't be able to not suffer because I think they forgot the majority of the country is women. And whatever women say privately and whatever they may want to believe, they'll be they don't in their gut want like a law saying they can't do something if they were raped or if it went certain, uh, certain passage. They just don't want it regulated. I'm taking the morality out of it. You can believe what you want.

It's wrong. Any term is wrong. I just don't think women like it being a law. Someone's saying you go to prison if you don't. I don't think women are too comfortable about that. And I think they spoke at the box office. It's not the box office. We're not going to see the fast and the furious. It's not it's not Oppenheimer at the ballot box. They spoke in this last cycle of elections where the Republicans got fucking mopped up. So the only thing that gives me pause about thinking that Trump is going to win

is the abortion issue. That's a big issue. People know likey, majority of people know likey, no matter what you hear in public, no matter who's screaming loud, it's one of those private things, much like with crime. You'll see a lot of liberals go, hey, how has society failed them? And then privately they'll go, make it stop. I don't want to see it. You know what I'm saying? How come people don't understand the duplicity of people and how they project one thing publicly

so they can look better, and then privately they have their own thoughts? The reason why you don't hear that anywhere is because I'm the only one willing to admit it, okay? You know, I love when people scream at me about like these other comics and how they're successful and because they don't talk about those things. It's like they talk about it privately.

They don't say what you think that you want them to say. They say one thing publicly to make themselves look and feel good to you. But privately, a lot of times they say the exact same thing I'm saying. I just say it out loud. These, you know, these parties have become very nonpolitical and they've become more zealot. What's the word? They become more like a hardline zealots. They forgot about the compromise. They forgot about serving people who don't agree with them. They forgot about reality. This whole thing of trans women in sports or banning abortion. It's like, who are you serving?

Who? The majority of people aren't for these things. I don't care what you think morally. How about this? Remember these days? You don't morally like it? Don't do it. All of a sudden you care about the womb of another person so much, but you don't care about fucking a person with no fresh water in Flint. The double standard is kind of crazy.

On the one hand, fucking, you know, I want the death penalty if somebody steals a Snickers bar or, you know, tough on crime. But then, like, how did you create the crime? A bunch of unwanted babies. There's a reason why people who are adopted have a higher crime rate. It's because they weren't wanted by their mama.

It's an ugly world, and the more you accept it's an ugly world, the easier it is to run. You can't run it from... That's why religiously run places don't work, because they're running it from a place that doesn't exist on the planet. That's why wokeism doesn't work, because it's not realistic. They're trying to run it from a place of just utopian ideals. That's why communism doesn't work.

They're trying to implement a philosophy based on utopian ideals. It's the reason why laissez-faire capitalism works. Oh, the marketplace is perfect and all-knowing. No, it's not. It's messy. If that was the case, there'd be no purpose for any of us to work and push back and argue and have different perspectives. People don't value

the other side's perspective. Abortion's not a good thing. It should be just like fucking doing heroin isn't a good thing, right? I'm pro-choice, but I can't say abortion's a good thing. I can't say that's good. I can't. Somebody's not going to come to me. I had an abortion yesterday. Great. Let's throw a party. It's not a fun thing. That's not going to come to me like, I had an abortion yesterday. Great. Let's throw a party. It's not a fun thing. That's not the point. The point becomes, is it something you legislate and codify and take away a person's right to choose what to do?

Now, of course, there has to, you can't just abort an eight month baby. So that's the, that's when you get into the weeds of shit. You can't really abort a second term, baby. It's a little weird. It's a little murdery. But these things are complicated. It's not just I'm against it, I'm for it. You know, that doesn't work.

That doesn't work with the majority of the people because believe it or not, the majority is always silent and the majority is always sane. Otherwise, this whole shit would be up in flames, right? The reason why people don't know that the majority is sane is because they. Otherwise, this whole shit would be up in flames, right? The reason why people don't know that the majority's sane is because they're silent, right? Martin Luther King called them the silent majority. He was right. That's why his tactics worked. He wasn't,

and this is specific. I studied this. He wasn't an idealist. He was a very practical man who knew that he wanted those hoses on television. He wanted it to be seen. He wanted the brutality to be seen because he wanted to galvanize what he called the silent moderate majority. He wanted them to see. What are you going to do? Yell at fucking Ku Klux Klan? Good luck.

What are you going to get on Twitter and yell at people who are about some points that the Israelis may have to people who are just going apart? They're going to go, you know what? I'm going to see it differently now. Or are you going to yell at some fucking hardcore settler Zionist and say, hey, this isn't right what you're doing to the Palestinians? Good luck with that. A lot of the things I post is because I'm trying to appeal to the moderate, sane majority. When you look at the comments, that's not where they are. They're not there. And I know they're not there.

So I expect those comments. Once in a while, I respond because I'm stupid. But part of me wants the moderate, silent majority to see at least the posts. People need to start appealing to that silent, moderate majority with more voices. Say more things. Let them know they're not alone because they are the majority.

The majority of people are just like me and you. We don't go to church six days a week. We do jerk off. We know that we may be against abortion, but if our mistress has it, we don't mind it happening. We are jerk off. We know that we may be against abortion, but if our mistress has it, we don't mind it happening. We are those people. We're against murder and all that stuff,

unless someone murders a kid, then we wouldn't murder them. We're flawed. We admit that we're flawed. We curse. We make mistakes. We admit when we're wrong. We enjoy a bad meal, even though someone tells us to only eat liver. We're not only eating liver. Everyone's gone so crazy finding their niche and only serving their niche.

Nobody's talking to the unifying principles of the silent majority. Moderate majority. Majority. That makes the whole world run. The majority of moderates makes this fucking world function. Nobody's talking to those people. Nobody's talking to people going like, Hey,

I think the numbers say overall the vaccine mitigated deaths, but also they lied to us about the efficacy of it because they didn't know. And also there might've been a little bit more side effects than they were willing to admit. And also maybe the lockdowns were stupid, but you know, the whole world did it. I don't think it was just an American conspiracy. There's none of those. Trust me, that's the majority of people who can see both and hold opposing ideas in their head at the same time. They can go, Israel, bad.

Israel, bad overall. One of them is individual rights. The other one, I don't know. But I kind of just, I don't want bombs in Paris. I don't want a bomb in a cafe. Don't know the last time we had to tell the Jews to stop doing that. I'm sorry.

I don't remember the last time we had to scold the Jews for doing that. I don't know what citizens in Paris getting blown up or at a rock show or at a gay nightclub have to do with the situation in the middle in the middle east but somehow they pay for it and the jews got to stop that the jews have to stop that unfortunately too a lot of times bitterness becomes what your political philosophy is.

You become bitter and your bitterness from your failure or the way you feel about yourself being ordinary, you find a cause and you get radicalized and you start to get some positive feedback from that cause that you've adopted, that you've hard-lined and you finally found a home. That's the anatomy of how radicals are born. Oftentimes, they're just bitter losers. They're bitter losers who failed in their pursuit, and they cling on to a reactionary cause, and other fucking reactionaries give them positive feedback, and for the first time,

they get some positive feedback. So that gives them a nice little hit of dopamine. And they finally have a place. They finally found a home. They finally found something they're good at. And that thing that they're good at is destruction. It's destruction. Because they couldn't make it.

See it a lot with failed comics. The shit that they say. When they fucking open their dumb, stupid, uneducated mouth, their inexperienced, dumb Twitter mouth. Now, I know you're saying, Yanni, you're dumb and uneducated and inexperienced. Yes, to a certain extent. But I have, I've been there. I've been to that part of the world. I went to school where that part of the world was a major topic

involving people who became very important in that part of the world. I know more about it than you do. Let's just put it that way. I know a little bit more about it than you do. And I've been there. that way. I know a little bit more about it than you do. And I've been there. Nobody's willing to admit what they don't know. That's a sign of an ignorant time. Because people who are smart always go, well, let me hear this thing I don't know.

You don't hear a lot about that. And then you go, hmm, now I'm going to add that in to what I believed, filter it through, and see what comes out the other side. Why are you emotionally invested in things you don't really care about? Why are you pretending you care about it so much? Because I'll admit to you what I care about. What I care about is the preservation of no chaos. That's what I care about. That's my motivation.

I don't want anything from me. I want no chaos. That's what I care about. That's my motivation. I don't want anything from me. I want no chaos. I want the continuation of civilization that seems to work best in the West. How do I know that? I mean, we're asking that question? Have you been to Sweden? Have you been to Spain?

Have you been to sweden have you been to spain have you been to new york seems to be i give it a thumbs up i give miami a thumbs up i even give austin a thumbs up and it's a dump i'll give it a thumbs up because it's relative right um have you gone to taiwan i hear it's have you gone to Taiwan? I hear it's thumbs up, man. I hear South Korea is thumbs up. I hear North Korea is thumbs down. I hear you're not allowed to say it's thumbs down. I hear being in a place where you're not allowed to say it's thumbs down

is really thumbs down. I heard Iran's thumbs down. But people say, oh, I'd rather be on a beach in Tehran than I would in Tel Aviv. Okay, I'll take your word for it. I'll take your word for it. I know you got a little hot on the beach though, lady, because you were wearing more than just a bathing suit. So I know the heat bothered you a little bit.

I'm sure it has beautiful landscapes. But there's a woman at the beach in Iran enjoying a swim in what I'm just going to say is this scuba diving outfit. Do you remember when they had those laws in america when they used to measure your thing and i mean i don't want to go back to that you know cultural sensitivity be damned it's the same thing what's difference about this than what the americans used to do when the women would go to the beach and they'd be like how long is your the cops would do it like a

smile on their face they're like all, it's illegal if your shirt is. I mean, all right, whatever you guys want. I know you're all thinking it through, man. Let's get back to funner stuff. DeSantis wears lifts. DeSantis wears lifts. Now, Trump has just, Trump has just grabbed this and has just run with it.

Because the guy's wearing lifts. He's short and he's wearing lifts. He had the same problem Prince had. Prince wore lifts. A lot of guys wear lifts. He wears heels. He says it's because of his culture, right, or something. But I don't really know if that's a Florida thing. It's more of a Texas thing. I think that's more of a, hey,

let me get another inch and a half. I don't want to look too short. He wears lifts. He's a little guy. He's a little munchky guy. You give Trump anything like that, it's over for you. He'll take it away from the issues and he'll just make it about, he'll make a joke about picking him up or something. He's going to make a little person joke. I love this headline. Yeah, three expert

shoemakers say Ron DeSantis is probably wearing height boosters. They got the experts out. They got the experts out for it. It's become a thing. And people say they hate Trump, but they eat right into it. The news eats right into it because you know we're going to read it because it's juicy and it's hilarious. And this is in Politico, by the way.

This is in Politico. This is not the National Enquirer. This is Politico. He should just own it. He should go up there and make a joke about it yeah I like the Adam Inch what women wear bras he should just do that

he should be like women got heels on to make their legs look longer Trump's got a fake tan and fake hair own it you should go out on stilts dude just go out on stilts make a joke about it own it and then point the finger at everyone else. Oh, you got your face pulled back.

You know, everyone's doing it. You got fake boobs. Nobody talks about it. Trump's wife's got fake boobs. Trump's wife posed naked. This is what we want our politics to be, a roast. It's what it's become. Even Trump was like, these are all my imitators.

And he's right. They were all trying to do zingers. It's sad. He was like, you know, it's sad he was like you know ramaswamy was like before you tell me about tiktok why don't you mind your own kids you're like bringing up her kids like what does that have to do with a what yeah her kids are she called them scum yeah then she called him scum which i think he deserved talking about her fucking kids she was like keep your fucking kids out my voice and then all of a sudden she's fucking the guy

from the rapper from New Orleans. Keep your name out of my mouth. Put some respect on my name. She became Will Smith. She became Will Smith. Take my fucking, fucking kids out of your, so it's become that. So go all the way.

Own it. He should come out on stilts. He should talk about bras, fake tits, nose jobs, and own it. Hasan Minhaj, that shit. Own it, baby. Fight back. That's what's become

one big roast battle. That's what we live in. A roast battle. Taller candidates have tended to have the advantage. Yeah, we don't elect people who are short. So why are you running? Come out on someone's shoulders. Shouldn't the Sanders come out on someone's shoulders? fix it and make a joke out of it

say the shorter candidates don't tend to win no matter what my you know and he could be the first one that changes it and go i know you guys like a tall taller person right and then make a joke about some inept tall person and then come out on someone's shoulders give us a laugh it'll be the talk of the town i'm ready ready to contribute to public relations needs. I'm here, baby, because I'm learning. You got to be a one-dimensional brand. That's what people like. They don't like a three-dimensional person.

They like a one-dimensional brand. So you become the short guy that makes fun of being the short guy. All right, DeSantis? Your bill's in the mail. I want to remind you to join patreon.com slash Giannis Papasauer. the short guy. All right, DeSantis? Your bill is in the mail. I want to remind you to join Patreon.com slash Giannis Papasour. Our numbers are the highest they've ever been. Thank you guys very much. It's because the

episodes are getting great reviews. We have a lot of fun on the Patreon, so get your extra episode every week at Patreon.com slash Giannis Papasour. See me this weekend in Phoenix, Spokane, Washington, December 1st and 2nd. Louisville, December 15th and 16th. Portland at Revolutionary Horror Hall, January 11th.

Vogue Theater in Vancouver, January 12th. Cobbs in San Francisco is February 9th and 10th. And I will be there. Atlanta, February 15th through the 17th. San Diego, February 23rd through the 24th. The Vic Theater in Chicago, March 8th, the Royal Theater in Toronto, March 23rd, almost sold out, probably going to add another show, Cleveland

at Hilarity's, March 29th and 30th, Tulsa, April 5th and 6th, Kansas City, Missouri, April 11th through 13th, new dates are coming, patreon.com slash Giannis Papasauer. Okay, shout out to exclusiveautoshipping.com if you're buying your car out of state or if you're moving, hit up Jared. Free military and student discounts apply.

Exclusiveautoshipping.com. Chris Minetti, 215-750-3730 is his phone number. That's all you need to know about Chris Minetti. You call him up, he'll cash your check. You have a business check, he'll catch it. No need to get the IRS involved, okay? If you're a migrant, you need your check cashed. You know where, you got to take a little, get on the bus, go hit up South Philly and Jersey and call the number 215-750-3730. Our good buddy Chris Minetti will take care of you.

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You're going to grow from this podcast. Capratech, they use AI to tell you what the score should be based on algorithms, baby. So if you like to gamble, go download the CapRatec app on the App Store or Google Play or go to CapRatec.com before you make your bets and see what they have to say about what you should be doing. We got a new one now.

We got a newie. Rebel A, Rebel's Radar. He wrote a lot. Let's see what he wrote. It's his first read, so we can have fun with it. It's a long one. Yeah. Rebel's Radars.

I bought the brand to prominence in the tactical and industry. However, the investors pulled out of the company and dissolved it. After a year building my own brand on the side, Rebel's Radars. Rebel's Radars. Rebels Raiders. Rebels Raiders. He launched his brand in November 1. He's doing great. He's beat every single sales record from his previous company in two hours.

So this is good. He's selling high-end tactical backpacks, pouches, and backpacks or packs for everyday carry outside activities, such as hiking, trail running, and training. Send me some. Hit us up. We'll give you the address from my previous company.

Website is rebels-raiders.com. 100% real deal tactical gear. It's named after my pet goat, Rebel. My goal is to think about it. This is funny. My goal is to think about it. This is funny. My goal is to purchase a Lamborghini with the profits and then light it on fire to prove how pointless this all truly is. I like this guy.

It looked good, too. Check this out. Yeah, dude. Look at this. Go to this website. You're posting it right here, right? Yeah. Go to this website.

These are good, dude. Can you send us one? Wow, look at that. That is high-quality stuff. Affordable, 45 bucks. There's a holster for your gun. Holster for your gun for seven bucks. Look at that backpack, dude.

Optimo Sling Bag for 45 bucks. That is a high-quality bag. This is smart, dude. This is good. Go to that other one. It's got shirts, Rebels Raiders shirts. Send us a care package, baby,

so we can promote the shit. I like it a lot. So that's the website, rebels-raiders.com. Go get your tactical gear that's used for everyday activities. Very smart. A lot of that Army stuff ends up is made well and works really good.

See you next time.