Yannis Pappas Hour - Bobby Lee’s Sh*t List

Episode Date: February 24, 2023

Bobby Lee drops in to let us know who he hates in Hollywood, what he truly feels about Yannis and Yanni returns the favor.Sponsors: Cerebral https://cerebral.comPromo: fumesManscaped https://www.manscaped.comPromo: fumesJoin for our weekly bonus episodehttps://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour See Yannis live Dates & Cities below All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comSeattle (Tacoma) Feb 16-18 Chicago Feb 24-26Atlantic City March 3rdEmmaus Pa, March 4DC March 9-11Stamford CT April 7,8Tampa April 21-22Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our highlights page for highlight clips of every episode: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday and new bonus episodes every following Tuesday at Patreon.com/yannispappashour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, everybody? Before we start this amazing show with the hilarious Bobby Lee, you're going to love it. My live dates. Right now, I'm in Chicago. All the shows are sold out. Thank you very much. Next weekend, Atlantic City, Atlantic City Comedy Club, March 3rd, one night only. Then March 4th on Saturday, Emmaus, Pennsylvania, the Emmaus Theater. One show only. Get your tickets. Then March 9th through the 11th, Washington, D.C. I'm at the Arlington Draft House in Arlington, VA. So get those tickets.

Then, like I said, my Dallas, Plano, Springfield, Missouri, and Phoenix dates have been rescheduled. I will tell you what those are shortly. But I will be in Stanford, Connecticut, April 7th through 8th at New York Comedy Club. Brand new, beautiful club in Stanford, Connecticut. Absolutely beautiful. April 7th and 8th. Then Tampa at Sidesplitters, April 21st through the 22nd. And that is it until my baby is born.

And there will be new dates coming for the summer. The Wilbur Theater in Boston will be on sale soon um as well as I'm going to be doing some New York City dates that I'll be announcing soon uh patreon.com slash Giannis Pappas hour for our weekly bonus episode some of our best episodes uh it's five bucks a month so come on support the show It's all you need, dawg Some of our best content Join up Absolutely

Listen to the young god, Jared Harvin Right there You're gonna love this episode Let's get into it with Bobby Lee Yeah. Gangsters are Italian gangsters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I walk outside. Yeah, you're very West Coast.

I'm not West Coast. I'm just civilized. Yeah. You know what I mean? But you're a California kid to the bone. Oh, I'm still California. You don't fucking believe it, man. You were looking around like you just woke up in an alien spaceship. You know when someone's really not comfortable and fearful,

they just keep looking. You're looking around for threats. No, no, no. You're looking around for threats. Imagine, no, no. You're looking around for threats. Imagine going somewhere and then you see Gandalf. Or, you know what I mean? Voldemort. You're walking around, you see Voldemort from the movies, right?

That's what I'm doing. Yes. Because I came to the building and all of a sudden there's a, you go in the elevator and then all of a sudden there's a doorknob to a fucking elevator. I've never seen that before. So I'm like, am I at Hogwarts? Well, the real estate sometimes here gets so popular that sometimes they turn the elevators

into apartments. So that would be a front door for someone's apartment. Funny joke. I enjoy it. You get what I'm saying, though. It's haunted. It's old. Right.

It's East Coast. And I don't understand it. Right. You know what I mean? I understand like, what's up don't understand it. Right. You know what I mean? I understand, like, what's up? Totally, dude. Yeah. You know what I mean? And, like, chill vibes and stuff. Yeah. Also, you're rich, so this is a little... I'm not rich. Rich on the rich side. You have as much money

as I do! Don't fucking do this in front of your fucking fans! You're just as fucking fancy as me, dude! But you do this to make people think That you're like a part of the Every man You know what I mean

Like I'm part of the common man No bitch You're a fucking Kardashian That's true That is true All you fancy fuckers Yeah You know what I mean

So don't do that right now dude I understand everything I know what's going on I'm not dumb This is part of the charm though I think coming to this place Everyone kind of has that look On their face when they come here Everyone sort of has that look on their face when they come here.

Everyone sort of has that look. The funniest was when before I renovated the bathroom and Louie came on here and the toilet wouldn't flush. It was broken. Yeah. So listening to Louie

try to flush the toilet with his foot, it was hilarious. I just had this thought about how far he has fallen from Madison Square Garden to being in my old apartment. Yeah, you're right.

I mean, you go to some podcast. Like, if you go to Austin, you go to Tom Segura's. Right. Have you been there? That compound? It's like going to an ABC building. Right, right.

It's like a CIA building or whatever. And then you have this. So you have just both, you know what I mean, examples of... And then you go to, like, your podcast studio, which is, like, you know what I mean, examples of. And then you go to like your podcast studio, which is like kind of like where,

like reminds me where Sharon Tate got killed. It's one of those. My house? Yeah. A Tiger Valley house? Yeah. My house. Yeah, it's like.

You think Sharon Tate. Oh, is that a compliment? I don't get it. Yeah, like in the hills. It's like that's one of the houses that like. Oh, I thought you were saying it was like an Emmerville horror house. No, no, no. I'm just saying like...

Like a haunted house. It's modern. It's a Hollywood house. It's modern. It's modern, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nice. It's nice.

You could do the same. I could. You and Paul Vervizzis are trying to convince me that wherever you guys live in the woods is the best lifestyle. Yeah, but Paul doesn't... Yeah, Paul...

He doesn't know. I like guys like this. He's the best. Because they're cross-eyed. Yeah, I Paul doesn't understand. Yeah, Paul. He doesn't know. I like guys like this. He's the best. Because they're cross-eyed. Yeah, I've known him. You both are. I love dudes with cross-eyes. You guys are fucking.

No, between the three of us, we can't see one thing. I know. You guys are a bunch of cyclops on here. You guys are like RDs, dude. Yeah, hold on. I think that's the door. Okay, who's that?

That's Jared. I wanted. Is he a comic? Yeah, he's black, too, which is good. Because he can do. I think that's the door. Okay. Who's that? That's Jared. Is he a comic? Yeah, he's black, too, which is good. He don't like me sometimes. Well, but he can do pull-ups off the scaffolding. Can he be gay or no? No, he's not gay. No.

Can I do some gay shit? You can. No, yeah. He's totally- We'll freak him out. No, he grew up around whites. Oh, he did? He gets the whites.

We have one of those in LA. His name is Chappelle Lacey. Yeah. He was adopted by whites. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love those kind of blacks. Yeah, the code-switching blacks. Yeah.

The ones that get when they get around brothers. They're in the Fugazi for some reason. Yeah. It's so fucking weird. Yeah, the code-switching blacks, when they're around the blacks, they're like, hey, what's up, man? And then they get around the whites, they're like, how's it going? How you doing?

Yeah, yeah, they know how to do it. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. So you really don't know what scaffolding is. And then I'm going to ask you about what you think about the four-day work week. But first, you don't know what scaffolding is. I don't think I've ever even heard of it before. Yeah, you're so comfortable here, you haven't taken off your jacket.

Which lets you know that's another unconscious sign that you're not happy here. It's not that I'm unhappy. I'm just, like, ready to go. Yeah. At any moment. If something goes down, I don't want to look around where's my jacket, where's my wallet, you know what I mean? I want to be like, oh, I can get out of here.

That's Jared. Which one? There's only one there. He looks like a British soccer player. Yeah, he does. He plays for Chelsea. He's a midfielder. Yeah, he does look like a British soccer player. Yeah, he does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He plays for Chelsea. He's a midfielder. Yeah, he does look like a British soccer player. Yeah, yeah.

I've met people like this before. Yeah. You can tell he's a black kid who's comfortable around white women. Oh, he gets white pussy for sure.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Is that your hair? Yeah. That's real? Yeah, it's real.

That's cool, man. Yeah. Yeah. What's up? Oh, yeah, what's going on? Yeah, you got to talk into that mic. Will you do stand-up?

Yeah, I do stand-up. You good? He's good. He's real good. Who's better, Oh, yeah, what's going on? Yeah, you got to talk into that mic. Will you do stand-up? Yeah, I do stand-up. You good? He's good. He's real good. You better him or Jermaine Fowler. Of course you would. Well, Jermaine Fowler's been around for a little while, but Jared comes with me on the road everywhere. He's on my podcast.

He's hilarious. He's 25 years old. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but that's funny you said Jermaine Fowler because I said if he moves to L.A., he'll have a career like Jermaine Fowler. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just trying to pick out they're in the same kind of box they are

black young no not even that it's like sort of like there's a hipstery kind of vibe to it

right not you're cool yeah like non-threatening to white people I don't know is that what you're saying

no what I'm saying is that I mean you're not going to be in Cullors Part 2 you know what I mean like you know what I mean if they make a new don't be a menace to society you're not going to be in Colder's Part 2. If they make a new Don't Be a Menace to Society, you're not even going to get a call.

Yeah, I might be the store clerk that gets beat down. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're like a colonial. What's that, Bridgerton? Bridgerton, yeah. Yeah, you're that type of guy. Like you're in the castle.

You're like a prince or whatever. All right. You don't think that type of guy. You know what I mean? Like, you're in the castle. Okay. You're like a prince or whatever. All right. You don't think he could be in a Jordan Peele movie? Like, that kind of black? There's no way. Atlanta black? No, no, Jordan wouldn't put him.

No? Let's aim for Miles Morales in Spider-Man. Miles Morales. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're definitely like, you're the male version of Zendaya, is that her name? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, is that her name? Yeah. Okay. Would he? Yeah. Like network people would love you. Yes. Non-threatening. Do you think? Non-threatening, that's the big point.

Non-threatening, yeah. I bet you money my dick's bigger than yours. Not even. No way. That's how bold I'm getting. Nobody's not seen your dick, and that's not true. Just the photo shot Monday. Everyone's seen it. No, no, but that's not true. Just the photos on Monday.

Everyone's seen it. No, no, but in its right form. Crowds have seen it. In its right form. You mean you jerked off first? No, no, no. You jerked off first. He sucked it. He didn't suck it.

He didn't suck it. He didn't suck it. But I pulled it out. I showed it to him, and it was like, you know what I mean? He was chilling. Yeah. My dick. And just the photo looked at me.

Your dick is a hot guy? You said he was chilling. My dick was chilling. My dick was... Some guys got female dicks. Some of them are her. Like clits? Like pronouns. No, I'm just saying pronouns.

Oh, I see. You said my guy. No, mine's not like one of those. He's not millennial or anything. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dick is Jenna. You got a Jenna?

Why would my dick be a different generation? Right, right. That's right. I forgot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot. No, it's a baby boomer, right? Yeah.

It's great. It's an old dick. It's old, right? That's right. You got a Gen X dick. So your dick is old school pronouns. Yeah. Yeah, so it's old school, but where'd he go?

What? Your magical? Yeah, the magical black disappeared. Yeah. He's a Green Mile black. Yeah, no, he's going to come back. Right, like that security, whatever, in Green Mile. Yeah, yeah, the magical black disappeared Yeah He's a green mile black Yeah no he's gonna come back Right Like that security

Whatever In green mile You know how in some movies They have magical blacks Yeah yeah You're a magical black dude Hollywood also loves The magical black

Oh my god we love them Like the sages black The wise black There's always like a wise The black that posts you Into your sleep Yes They'd love a

Bagger Vance black Yes a Bagger Vance black The green mile black There's always Anything that Morgan Freeman He's always a sages black guy Yeah yeah yeah A Bagger Vance Black The Green Mile Black Anything that Morgan Freeman He's always a sages black guy A miserable black He couldn't get like Crazy Rich Agents

He couldn't be like the black friend Opposite Michelle Buteau He's a Michelle Buteau black Yeah But you know you could play like a young Morpheus Like when Morpheus. Yeah. Like when Morpheus was back in the day.

Prequel. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you'd get beat out by Jermaine Fowler back. You'd be fifth or seventh. You'd be fifth or seventh.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe 12th. Well, at your level now, you're not in the room. But in five years, maybe. Yeah. Five or seven, yeah. Are you excited about that?

Yeah. To be considered? Yeah, to be considered. Oh, you don't even know the pain Yeah Right now I'm on hold for a big movie And it's always like

You're on hold I've been on hold for months And they go It's between you And three other people I'm not gonna get it Why do you think so? I never do

I'm the fourth choice So one of them has to die Yeah The other one has to be like Oh no I'm already working There's just so many elements that have to happen For me to get that movie Is it a drama?

No it's a franchise Oh big ones That's what I love about I love comedy I love comedians because he's up for a big movie And he's here I love the dichotomy of that That comedians because he's up for a big movie and he's here. What do you mean? I love the dichotomy of that, that comedians

kind of, we're a funny breed. You'll never get like Meryl Streep here, but he might be in the same movie with a movie star that would never be here, and he's here. You know, I'm just saying. I'm nervous being here because I think you're a celebrity.

You're not nervous because the radiator hasn't been turned off? No, no, no. I like it. It's cozy. Yeah, he's very uncomfortable. We've been talking about how uncomfortable he is.

He doesn't know what scaffolding is. We still haven't got to the bottom of that, but you think I'm a celebrity? You're one of the East Coast hard hitters, yeah. Thank you. No, I'm just saying

you're one of those guys that people talk about on the West Coast. All right, well then. I wouldn't come all the way to Brooklyn for fucking. I appreciate that. Yeah. I don't know any other comic to me.

You wouldn't come out here for him. Yeah. Probably not. Like, even if he was dying, I wouldn't probably. You wouldn't do it. Right. No. If he was a hospice, I wouldn't come visit him.

No. I don't know you. Yeah. Make a wish. That'd be weird. I don't know. If it was one of his witches, if he was a big Bobby Lee fan, because you're massive. Are you out of your mind? No, I'm not., because you're massive. Are you out of your mind?

No, I'm not. You're big, dude. Are you out of your fucking mind? What are you talking about? On the West Coast especially, whenever I do shows now, people are always like, I saw you on Tyler's Brides,

I love you with Bobby Lee, you and Bobby Lee, you and Bobby Lee. I know, but to be fair, some people think he's David Cho, so they might get it mixed up. Sometimes that happens. He's attacking me already.

He already attacked. Already. This is what the white man does. I gave you compliments, dude. That's a compliment, dude. I put you in the fucking castle. David Cho's a great artist. What are you talking about?

Look at your colors, dog. What? You got a huge palette. You got nice colors on right now. I like it. I can buy colors too, dog. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't have to be a painter to fucking.

You got a nice color palette. That's all. Anyway, all right. I'll give you that one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I like it. You like it? Yeah. He's, yeah I like it You like it Yeah

He's bold, I like it He's bold, he's very bold East Coast's sometimes too bold Yeah, you guys are very bold It's like an attack sometimes Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, you guys are bold But I get what it

Because I've been coming here for years So back in the day when I used to come And hang out with like Patrice And all those kind of guys, right? I'm used to your, you know what I mean? Assault. Not assault. It's just your disposition in life.

I don't know. Right. But it can feel like a little salty. Like we don't, we don't like, what I love about LA guys is you guys just kind of, it's a vibe. It's like, oh, you vibe in. You know, you're waiting for like, here you were coming in. You were like, whoa, what's going on?

Like, you know, it's like you look for, it's like you're waiting for like, here you were coming in. You were like, whoa, what's going on? It's like you're catching a wave. You don't use a mic now? Pardon me. What are you doing? What he's doing is something wrong. What the fuck are you doing right now? I was trying to find when you were entertaining. You don't know about the vibe?

Yes. This fucking guy. It's an assault. He's a producer. He's watching He's watching his own clip Why are you watching My fucking shit right here

I was trying to find When you were entertaining That's what it was Yeah Anyway So what's the vibe about what So what you do You look

Like it's almost like A surfboard It's like I always feel like You guys are looking for a wave Like the west coast Is like And then it's like We're all on the wave

Yeah We're all on the wave Whereas New York Is sort of like a gun And they go Pow pow pow Why don't you have a gun shoot me yeah i have a gun yeah you should be shooting me and you're like whoa i'm in the water yeah well i mean we didn't even like before i even came up to new york we never even attacked each other right you know i mean we never really ripped on each other in the green room you know i mean it's like what but it's also i've always been in hollywood and they've always been like arrogant right so i'd rather be with you and i want to name names

but we have we we have comics that are like comedy police and they're like ivy league you're a part of that club right i love lampoons yeah yeah and i i despise it. Name names. God, I want to so fucking bad. Come on, please. They're not going to hear it anyway. Conan O'Brien. No, no, no. I can't because I just worked with some of them. So that's the best time to do it.

I'm going to do it. I feel like I'm going to do it. Bobby, don't do it. Do it. See what I'm saying? I struggle. Yeah. Oh, fuck.

You're a guy who... I'll say this. I have worked with a lot of hoity-toities. People you hate. I don't hate them. I love them so much. You despise them. No, but they act as if

they've made it and they're above you. There's a certain like, you know what I mean? There's like a certain, like, you know, supremacy, arrogance going on. Right. And airs about them. They put on airs. Right.

And some of them I knew since open mic days. And now when I work with them, you know, they sit like this and they do this with their hand. Wow. You know what I mean? So they've trained gays. So just slow it down, the line. If you slow that line down, it's just like, you know, it'll hit.

Just be more real. Be more organic and real. Right. Like when they're giving you notes and stuff. Right. Because now they're like my bosses. Right. Like on a TV show or whatever.

I just did one. And it was like two guys that like I came up with. But now they're here. And then they're like like, giving me notes, and I'm, like, sweating because of the anger and the rage. You know what I mean? Like, I want to go, fuck you, you piece of shit. You know what I mean?

You hoity-toity. And here's the thing, too. What they don't realize is this, bro. They think that I'm down here, but they don't realize I'm above them because I have more followers. I have more, when I go on the road, I sell more tickets, but they don't realize I'm above them because I have more followers, I have more, when I go on the road,

I sell more tickets, you know what I mean? But because they're locked into this Hollywood system, and they're told by all these fucking suits and stuff that they're like the guy, like the heads of Netflix, you know what I mean?

And they hang out with all those guys, right? They think that they've arrived, but they don't realize that we're the ones running the fucking street game, daddy. Right. We got the streets daddy You know what I mean

We're going to fucking win Papa Because we have the people So I'm not going to name any names You were about to do it You were getting close I can't do it I'm going to get in trouble I already know you're going to do it

All I have to do is keep All I have to do is keep bringing I already know you're going to do it. All I have to do is keep bringing it up. You're going to do it. If I don't let you get sidetracked, you're going to do it. Who is it? I'll give you a hum. These are the kind of games I like to play. What about we do this? Judd Apatow.

Judd Apatow. Judd was already there. I didn't start with Judd. Judd was always, you know, he was always my boss. Right. Right?

Like, you know, even as a younger person auditioning for his shit. Girl or boy? Men and women. Other men and women. I got 20 names I could throw out. Throw four.

I want to, I want to, I want to. I want to, but I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't. You know, because it's one of those things in therapy that they, you want to, I want to, I want to, but I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.

You know, because it's one of those things in therapy that they, you know, my therapist is like, don't do a podcast. You have a problem of like, you know,

putting yourself in these difficult situations because of podcasting. Right. You say everything, right? And you, and you,

you release your resentments and anger and rage, like your resentments and anger and rage like your inner thoughts that normal people would be like I'm gonna keep that to myself but I've been known to say it out and to cause these wars and I have like three or four wars out there that I'm never gonna win right and I fucked myself and you're trying to put me in another war. Well, because it's great content and you know that. Yes, yes, yes. I want to help you. I want to help you and I want to do it, but I'm not going to fucking do it, you cross-eyed fuck.

Fuck you. You did it to me and Chris and that was fun. Remember, you had me on and you were team Giannis and then he came home. I know, I know. But that's different though because we're all a part of the same club. Right. You got Mincy on there on your podcast, you had him talking about stolen jokes. That was a big episode.

That's different, though, because you're still not talking about the elites. Right. You know what I mean? I can talk about... I mean, at the end of the day, I feel like we're the elites in our own way. Right. You know? But it's like...

Title of this episode will be Bobby Lee reveals Pedophile ring at elite level In Los Angeles When does that happen though? I don't know I want to get to a point where they're going to call me and they go You come to this office And they go, and there's a baby

And there's like a little tube sticking out of the baby And there's a straw And they're like, it's tube Sticking out of the baby And there's a straw Right And they're like It's time to drink the blood It's time to take a sip You've made it Yeah

Would you take Would you drink it Would I take a sip How much money is in the line I mean I feel like Once you're like Brand deals Yeah

You know what I mean Whatever it is Must be incredible For them to do it Right Yeah the lifestyle Must be incredible It must be incredible If they're drinking baby blood And you can only do it, right? Yeah, the lifestyle must be incredible. It must be incredible.

If they're drinking baby blood and you can only do it at that level, then it must be incredible. Like, what would I do it for? I would do it for, because at the end of the day, you'll go to hell. Right. Would you do it for, like, a free pass to be able to name these people without any repercussions? Because you really want to do it.

It's in your heart. I can see what's in your heart. And what your heart is, you want to say it on a podcast. I know how show business works. I know how a podcast works. I reveal at the end. Everyone listens to the end. I like it. Stick around.

Stick around. I have a list. But my point is that what would you do because you know you're going to hell if you drink the fucking baby blood. So what would I do? I would have to have Dude, because you know you're going to hell if you drink the fucking baby blood. Yeah. Right? Yeah. So what would I do? I would have to have 100 supermodels that were almost virgin-y.

Maybe it's, you know what I mean? Yeah. You know what I mean? So that's, and then I would have to have a 10 movie deal. 10 movie deal. Yeah, yeah. I would also have to- Wait, can I just stop you for a minute? What's really funny

is that you've obviously thought of this. You came with a specific number. You said- I mean, you specifically- I mean, you- This is like- There was no ums.

There was no looking at the sky. This is- You have this down on your- This is on your- The reason why I started talking about it because I've been dating, I've been dating, right? And I'm dating this one girl who's like a conspiracy theory lady.

Oh. Right? And she's like, she sits. Schizophrenic. She could be. She could be, which is good, probably fun. She's so nice and very beautiful. But she's like, you know what I mean?

She's going, it's coming to me. Right. Like I was laying in her bed. She's like, you're going to get the offer. Right. And I was laying there and going, what would I have to have to take it? So you have thought about it. Yeah, because only because she brought it up.

Because you have a schizophrenic girlfriend. I don't think it's not, it doesn't exist. Right. Right? Right. Because it's like, how could that exist? Right. Because she's probably crazy.

No, maybe. I don't know. But my point, though, is that because if you think about it, you know, I've worked with huge stars before. Right. I've been to, like, huge stars' houses before. Yeah. And there's no baby blood. Right.

In fact, there's no babies at all. There's no babies. You know what I mean? Sometimes there's babies running around in a carriage. Not carriage. What do you call it? Yeah.'s babies running around in a carriage. Not carriage. What do you call it? Yeah. Like a S&M room where they fuck them. Yeah.

No, like a playroom. Yeah, like a fuck room. It's no Slurpees coming out of them. Right, right, right. There's no tube coming out of them. Right, right. No, you're right, because I was at Stamos' house. I was looking for them.

Right. They're not there. You would think right, because I was at Stamos' house. I was looking for him. Right. They're not there. You would think that Stamos would have been offered the baby blood. Prime suspect, number one, in my mind, the way he looks. I know. Yeah. Exactly. But he's obviously the nicest guy, and he didn't do it.

My point is that it doesn't exist, but people believe it does. Yeah, yeah. It's like Alex Jones, when he was like, I knew a friend who got a TV deal, but then they said you have to sign this contract to sign your life over to Satan or whatever this and that. It's like, wow, I've had many deals in Hollywood. Right.

You know what I mean? I've been locked into holding deals, development deals, all that stuff, and I never signed anything like that. Right. You know what I mean? So it's crazy. It's something people believe in because it makes I never signed anything like that. You know what I mean? So it's crazy. It's something people believe in because it makes their life better. Like God, you know?

You think so? It's like God. It's like it's not really there, but we want to believe it. Yeah. So if you believe it, it kind of is there. And we need it. They need to believe. Here's the thing.

If you're a middle American person in normal life, which we get to see. Yeah. We travel and we get to see how horrible and putrid their life is. We were in Tacoma, Washington this weekend. It has the charm of the Soviet Union. I've been there, yeah. And I wanted to chew a gun all weekend. It's like Baltimore on the West, just with sheep. It's horrific. Now, if you live in that place

where the fucking sky is coated every night like nuclear fallout and you feel like you're in Finland, right? And it's sunny for two hours. You can't believe in your head that people in Los Angeles have this amazing life. Yep. Because you have to believe that they're horrible pedophiles who eat babies and are immoral

because you just, then you'll blow your brains out because it'll remind you. It eats the odds. Yeah, it'll remind you. It eats odds. Yeah, it'll remind you that you're in Tacoma and you're not Bobby Lee and you're not running around and you're not getting paid to be funny. Thank God I'm not them. You know, that's the point.

But the thing, what they don't realize is that I am them. You were them. We were all, we're all them now. You are. No, you are too. But there's some, some are more established, man. You know? I know, I know. There'll never be conspiracy theories about us because they see us on the internet like i started

with i had no nepotism i didn't know anybody i i signed up at an open mic in 95 waited six hours to go up right and i went up every single night since then right and crawled my way out you know i mean so it's like there's a way out's like, there's a way out of Tacoma. There's a way out of anywhere if you're willing to fucking, you know what I mean, do the time. Right.

You know, I did the time. Yeah. Right. But you also had the talent though. Come on, you're a natural talent. I'm not just going to sit there

with- No, no, no. Can I just say this? My magical black? I love people like you, man. I love it. Yeah. Hey,

do you know this girl named Sienna? Yeah. Yeah. You like her? Yeah, she's cool. Pretty cool. Anyway. Who's Sienna?

She's a comic. She's a comic. Yeah, comic. Let's move on. Yeah. Okay. Do you notice when you're around blacks, the room smells like lotion, cocoa butter?

I got Say something okay. I got um blackmailed on the internet for going down this road So I can't go down this road right now with you right okay because um One time I said I'll just I'll go down the road one time I said And I don't even know what it meant, what I said, but I go, some black people are oily. Right.

I don't know why I said that. Right. You tried to be funny. Yeah. I mean, that's not the worst thing you said. I saw it in the video. All right, let's not bring those up.

Let's not bring those up. I mean, dogs. Let's not bring those up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then this lady emailed,

you know what I mean, the Tiger Barley, and she said, give me $15,000 or I'm going to take that clip and bring it to every of your ads and people that like, and I'm going to ruin your career. Sometimes black people are oily? Yeah, because I just said that. You know what I mean?

And then she put up videos of me with a KKK hood. Wow. You know what I mean? On YouTube. Was it deep fake? What? Was it deep fake? No, it was back in the day.

It was probably 10 years ago, whatever. But it's like, I couldn't believe it. It's like, you know what I mean? So it's like the coconut, I love it. I love coconut. Yeah. They smell good. No, they smell like cocoa butter.

We talked about white people usually like Lubriderm, which is kind of scentless. And black people who are experts at lotion go cocoa butter, usually. Lubriderm just smells like PVC pipe. What does coconut do? Cocoa butter. What does it do? Hydrates the skin.

Why do you need it? It's natural. Otherwise you can play tic-tac-toe on his leg. Yeah. It gets ashy? Otherwise, you can play tic-tac-toe on his leg. Yeah. It gets ashy? Yeah, you can strike a match on my leg. Oh, I see. Okay, my bad. Yeah, I mean, if Tom Hanks had a black person and cast away, he would have survived.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they would have started a fire? Yeah. Oh, so, you know, if I was on, like, Naked and Afraid, I would want you as a partner. Yeah, exactly. Naked and Afraid is every day of your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, ironically, I've said it before,

ironically it means we're in such a good place when someone who is Asian can be in the KKK. That's very progressive and inclusive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's very inclusive. Yeah. I mean, we've talked about it before, but Nazis have become very diverse.

I mean, she put a Klan hood on you, you're Asian. I mean, they wouldn't accept you at the party, but now maybe they will. They've become very open. Asians are white adjacent. Are they? That's what I've been reading online. Right, so it must be true.

No, no, no, but it's just that we're, you know, we were always considered a model minority. I don't feel like we're white adjacent. I feel like if there was a race war, I know what sign I'm on. Right? Right. Right.

Wherever the Jews and stuff are. Right? Yeah. Right. When you go with the Jews. You got to go with the Jews because they got a good plan. They have plans. Yeah.

They got plans. They have money. They have plans. Yeah. They're always the strongest. In the conspiracy world, the Jews are always the strongest. Yeah. They're always doing the most damage.

Yeah. From the smallest people. But they always got the most. They got the banks, they got Hollywood, they got infinite power. They control the weather. So I would go with the Jews. Where would you go? I would go with you. Yeah, I'd like to do it with you.

Is Greek white? Well, Greek, that's another one. They're trying to figure it out. We need to really have a social scientist really put the oppression scale up and figure out where we all are. Because Greeks, we were enslaved by the Turks for 400 years. You got fucked by Japan.

Japan, Japanese. Bad, yeah. Real bad, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you stand about that new reality squid game show on Netflix? What do I stand on it? It's a real show. It's not a real show. It's all the strongest people.

No, they have a real game show now. Oh, they do? I didn't know. It's like the number one trending show on Netflix. It is right now? And it's South, it's Korean. Yeah. And it's all these strong guys from Korea.

Yeah. From different fields competing to see like who's the strongest guy. And they're all fucking hot, and cut, and like, hot, so I want to know where you stand on that. Well,

this is the first time I've known about it, so I really, let me think about it. Well, I don't have any, Siri, please. I have no feeling about it,

because the thing is, is that, like, we have American, you know, the American Ninja Gladiator, whatever these shows that we have. We have Strongman shows too, right?

Yeah, we do. Yeah, and I don't watch that shit. Right. Why would I care? Well, I just thought maybe because it's Korean. It's called something. It's not the Squid Game. It's actually called something else right now on Netflix.

My wife is obsessed with it, and I've caught some of it. It's really good. It's all Koreans. They're all Koreans. Good, good. Yeah. That's really good. It's all Koreans. They're all Koreans. Good, good. Yeah. That's a good thing. Yeah.

So Samsung. I have to say, though, about Korea in general, I think that I'm very proud of that country. Right. You know, we've got... North Korea. I would have survived there. I would have thrived in North Korea. How would you have survived in North Korea?

Because I would have done the meth game. The what? Well, they do meth. They have meth factories there. Methamphetamine. They do. Yeah. And all these villagers and stuff, I guess,

they work in these meth labs, the meth factories. Right. And they feed them meth for their payment. Right. So they're just constantly, you know what I mean, up. So you would have sold the meth or done all the meth? I would have had one of those probably, like been in charge or whatever.

You would have been like a drug lord, legal drug lord. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What makes you think you could rise up so easily? You don't have the muscle, you don't have the brain? Because I'm... You're funny. I would probably suck dick. You could do that.

Yeah, I would have sucked Kim Jong-un suck dick You could do that Yeah I would have Sucked Kim Jong-un's dick No disrespect But over there You're a dime a dozen There's nothing There's no fetish Bro let me say something right now

I'm a survivor Yeah And if I was in North Korea I'd be like I would like just be Practicing all day long You'd get good at it I mean

I would be the best You wouldn't let anyone Outwork you No I would like Stick the tip of my't let anyone outwork you. No. I would, like, stick the tip of my tongue in the hole and do a little move there. Right. Right?

Like, so subtle. Right. Like, hints of, you know what I mean? Right. Of, like, wow, that was special. Right. Right? I would, like, you know, stick my finger in the butthole a little bit.

Just a tad. Just a tad. Just the pinky, right? I mean, I'd lube it, too. You know what I mean? Yeah. And do little things. I would just do different techniques.

So you'd Kaiser Sosa. You'd be willing to go where the other guy wouldn't. Well, in a desperate situation, you know what I mean? Back in the day, I would probably do anything to survive. But here's the deal. The whole situation is desperate. I'm just being devil's advocate here. What if there's a lot of other guys doing desperate stuff? How far are you willing to go?

I mean, what are we talking about? Give me a scenario. I mean, I'm just saying if you're sucking your way to the top in a desperate scenario like North Korea autocracy, I bet you there's a bunch of guys doing comparable stuff

to get to the top. No, because most people have a fundamental ethics. Right. And a morality, right? So there's always a line that they won't cross, right? There's like a thousand lines for me, I think. Right. And morality, right? So there's always a line that they won't cross, right? There's like a thousand lines for me, I think.

Right. You know what I mean? I wouldn't kill anybody. Would you fuck someone with a frozen piece of dog shit? How far... What do you mean? Frozen. There's a frozen piece of dog shit.

Yeah. And I eat it first and then suck the dick? Yeah. I'm trying to find out, like, yeah, would you stick one in your own ass? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're obviously pleasing the autocracy. it first and then suck the dick? I'm trying to find out, would you stick one in your own ass? You're obviously pleasing the autocracy. You're pleasing the ruling party because you're trying to get ahead. That would be like a court gesture.

You know that those guys want to get balanced out and have some weird fetishes, so one of them might be fucking with some frozen dog shit. I can imagine Kim Jong-un on his throne or whatever, and he's just sitting there and he goes, putting him in. Right?

And there's the people with horns. Right? I come in, right, and I look good. Yeah. I have coconut butter on my skin. From head to toe, you know what I mean? Yeah. And I would come in and I would bring in a fucking, you know what I mean, a basket full of frozen, you know what I mean Yeah And I would come in And I would bring in A fucking

You know what I mean A basket full of frozen You know what I mean Dung Right I would bring all the stuff That you would need Right

Right And I would say You'd have a kink lunchbox Or something Yeah Your highness What would you like to see From me today

Right He's like Do the Stick oil in your bottle Right And I would just Just jam them up there You know're a man like Snickers up Oh, yeah. Yeah. No lube or anything cuz you're a survivor. You really are. Yeah, and then

At the end I like may have the meth factory, please That factory yours that would be funny It's all you have to do is ask nicely after you stick a bunch of frozen dog shit up your ass And he was like, oh yeah, all you had to do is ask you like I didn't have to do is ask nicely After you stick a bunch of frozen dog shit up your ass And he was like All you had to do was ask I didn't have to stick on it And he's like no I'm a big fan Bobby Lee I wouldn't give you the meth factory Oh interesting

Has that happened a lot to you? That like because Your comic friends know that you're the guy Who's willing to You're a survivor You're willing to go farther than a survivor you're willing to go farther than a lot of guys that like a lot of you wanted something and guys

would be like okay I'll give you my car all you have to do is stick this frozen piece of dog shit in your ass and fuck my dog and you go that's cool I wanted to do that anyway and then you do I don't have that kind of reputation, what the fuck are you talking about and then they go I would have given you the car anyway no no no

I'm willing to go like in terms. No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. I mean, I'm willing to go, like, in terms of comedy, to an edge that, like, Sebastian Maniscalco wouldn't go. Right. Right. You know what I mean?

Like, because he looks at me and goes, why do you do that? You know what I mean? He's always done that. Right. He's always pulled me aside and says, like, you don't need to do that. Right.

I go, I did. Right. I need to do it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because my line is further out than his. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because my line is further out than his. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't like when people get judgmental of each other's stuff.

Like, I love you the way you are. Yeah. I wouldn't want to change you. His side's maybe a little taller and thinner. But other than that. Yeah, I mean, you're so funny. You're like a comedic vessel. Like, everything about you is funny.

If you were in pocket, that would be weird. Yeah. I mean, I tried back in the day, in the back i tried to conform right you know when i started i was like looking at other people and i go okay because the first time i ever went up i you know showed the audience my butthole right right and and great starting point and open mic right and they were like you know what i mean right and i go oh go, oh, I have to conform. You have to conform. Yeah. So I would like watch people construct jokes. Right. Right. And like, you know, I would meet up with other like older comics and go, how do you write

a joke? You're right. Right. And then I would watch, you know, a TV to see how people were doing it. But then it was just like, it's just not working. Yeah. There's this one, I don't want anyone to Google it, but there was this one stand-up I did 30 years ago that's online.

Can I talk like this? You know what I mean? You were trying to. Because I was trying to do a Chris Tucker-y kind of like, you know what I mean, character kind of a thing. I had really big hair. I was wearing this like a Mexican,

you know, like I was like doing, that's not who I am, you know what I mean? Right. But there were so many different versions of what I tried to do. Right. And then eventually you just kind of go oh no i i'm just gonna do this when you got on mad tv had you discovered the right version of you yet or were you being i was right i think kind of like i was the closest yeah i think i was pretty much almost beyond mimicking other people right and what year was that? 2000.

2000? Yeah, yeah. Why? Oh, just asking. We just wanted to know if he was alive before it. Were you alive? Yeah, three years. Oh, you were three years old?

Mm-hmm. So when you were three years old, I got my first TV show. Yeah. Why'd you wake at me like that? It seemed like you were making an offer towards me. Maybe. No, I'm trying to analyze why I did that.

Yeah. That was weird. I apologize. No, you were late. I apologize. Maybe No I'm trying to analyze Why I did that Yeah That was weird I think you were I apologize No you were I apologize Yeah it was a little bit of a flex But I got you

You don't have to This is look He's a fucking Gen I know You don't have to apologize You winked at him I'll tell you why you winked at him

Why Because you were going There's a hierarchy to this shit I was on TV When you were three You flexed a little bit With a wink It was an understated

West Coast flex, but it was a flex nonetheless. I guess it was. Andrew Schultz would have said, shut the fuck up, young guy! And you did it your way. You went like this. Wink. No, I'm just winking like... No, I think the wink was more like, I've been around. You've been around.

Yeah, yeah. Don't fuck with me. Exactly, yeah! Yeah, don't fuck with me. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Don't fuck with me. Yeah. But yeah, I've been around. So when, how long does Miss Swan get to get away with that? Whoa.

What'd you say, man? What's your name? Alex Bornstein. Alex Bornstein. I'm all fair in comedy to me me But how come She's been able To get away with that And why have I been able To get away with that

I know So My theory I mean Because I know Alex Right Because My first season of Mad

Was her last season Right So I spent Half of a season With her Right And What

What's so funny It was like Back in the day I mean She was kind of like Half of a season with her. Right. And, what? What's so funny? It was like back in the day, I mean, she was kind of like Shane Gillis and you were kind of like Bowen Yang. I guess so. Yeah, I guess so. But Bowen Yang couldn't say anything. I think, no, bro, I think you're right. I think my hire, right, even though it wasn't said, right, was because there was beginning, there was a little bit of a backlash. Oh.

Right? And I feel like, because I remember after she left, Fox called the executives and said, can he take over the character? Wow. I miss one. I go, absolutely not. You're like, what? No. Right.

That's her character. Right. Right? Yeah. So when they said that, I was kind of like, that's weird. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I kind of like, but I had no problems with that character because she's not Asian.

Right. What is she? The character, was it Asian? No. Who is she supposed to be? A Miss Swan? Yeah. She's more like Icelandic Bjork.

Was it? Well, that's what I think she said. So I have to give her the bit of the doubt, right? Because if you watch Miss Swan, she never says, I'm from Singapore or anything like that. Right? So it's like, That's like going,

Haro, how are you? Haro, Haro, how are you? I'm from Finland. Haro, I'm Chile. I'm from Chile I'm from Chile Yeah Yeah It's like

How are you? I'm Russian It's something like Yeah you're right Yeah Yeah yeah Oh she's Oh she's

I think she spun it like It's from a different Different It's from a It's from an imaginary Asian Right So it's like With that

You're like okay Right Yeah, right? So it's like, with that, you're like, okay. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. But she's like, so talented. Right. That girl? Oh my God.

Yeah, well, that's comedy used to just be that, right? Like, is it funny or not? Yeah. For me, funny is the most important thing. So it's like, you know, when I was on that, you know, I got to see her. I was Key and Peele when they were young. You know what I mean? Mike McDonald, all these guys. So it was like a real blessing

to be... I was just thinking about how funny it is that people have just made some comedy illegal. They're just like, there's some things you just, you can't do that. Is it a crime? They're like, no, you just can't do it. People's feelings are on the line. You're like, yeah, life's...

People's feelings are on the line all the time. Yeah. But don't you feel it's changing? I feel like it's changing back. I don't think... I think it depends where you go. I think it's splintered. And it'll never come back together.

Yeah, because I was just in San Jose, and I was doing jokes that I normally, five years ago, I wouldn't be able to do. Live? Because I never feel anything live. To be honest with you, I never feel... Yeah, live. And I never feel... My jokes are...

It's like I don't feel anything. That's what I'm saying. That's why I feel like it's not... I feel like it's an imaginary thing almost. I think it almost always kind of was a little bit. Yeah. And I also think that... And I don't really have a stake in this, but it was a little bit. Yeah. And I also think that, and I don't really have

a stake in this, but I feel like people who are canceled, are they really canceled? You know what I mean? Right. Because we know a lot of our friends

that were canceled, but they're making more money now than they've ever had. Right. It's just that in the Hollywood game, they're out. But there are other ways to do it,

and they've figured that out. I don't know how I feel about it, really, but it's just an interesting thing to really observe. What does it all mean? Because it's devastating. I've seen comics, like alpha male comics, cry in front of me. You know what I mean?

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use my promo code right now. Get 20% off at manscaped.com. Slash, sorry, with the promo code, The Abs. Because they were, you know what I mean, canceled. I've seen them, too, two weeks ago. Yeah. Well, yeah, I had a little emotional breakdown on the road, and he had to be my therapist.

What happened? I just had some childhood trauma that crept up on me, and I was sad. Like what? Well, just how I was left alone and abandoned by my family when I was very young, and I was just there with my mentally challenged brother, and I just felt like his older brother,

but I was really his younger brother, and my parents were never there, and I just got scared in that room, and that trauma just hits me. Out of nowhere. And then Jared, who's a chaplain for his black fraternity. No, it's a regular fraternity. It's a regular fraternity.

He's a chaplain for it. So he used to talk to all the guys. So he came in, he gave me some really good lessons. He said, you got to leave the trauma, you got to leave the trauma, take the lesson. No, you have to work on, you have to do EMDR and really work on it. What's EMDR? It's what they're doing for trauma therapy. It's like you've got to find a trauma therapist that's familiar with that technique,

and you've got to go through that process. I was also shot. That was traumatic. Yeah, because what happens is that stuff stays in your body, and it turns into diseases later. It does. Yeah, I mean, it turns into physical manifestations of that trauma.

And unless you release it from your body, it's damaging in the long run. Do you think that it's been pulling my eyes closer together? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you didn't know me and you walked in, would you think that was a chance I was blind? Not blind, but I wouldn't probably talk to you at a party. No, that's honest.

It is honest, right? Because you don't look like, yeah, from afar, you look like a grip. Like if I'm in a Hollywood movie. You don't know what I'm doing there. I would have looked at you and I was like, oh yeah, he's behind the scenes doing something. Like grunt work of some sort, you know what I'm doing there. I would have looked at you and I was like, oh yeah, he's behind the scenes doing something. Like grunt work of some sort. You know what I mean?

You know, it's the real struggle being an in-betweener. Just like not being good looking enough to be like an actor and not being bad looking enough to be like truly a comedic vessel. I'm just in between. I'm just like in between. I'm like, there's some basketball players I'm like. I'm like Mac McClung. Too small for the twos, too slow for the one. Yeah.

Yeah. But no, I think you're perfect, though. Because you're never going to be the lead. Ever. Ever, no. But either am I. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. But you're going to be like in the office if they do a movie. You know what I mean But you're gonna be like In the office if they do a movie In the background somewhere No not background but you're gonna be the guy That's like embezzling money And they sit you down So you can see that

Have you noticed that I've lost a little weight My jawline's a little better Honestly you look fucking great When I saw you at the thing I didn't recognize you I really didn't You're very honest and so I know I do look good Because Because when I saw you at the thing I didn't recognize you Right I really didn't Yeah Because you're very honest And so I know I do look good Because you've said some horrible things

About my looks So I know if you're saying I look great It means it's true Yeah you really do It's shocking Chris does too DeStefano Yeah I think he's

He lost weight too Yeah he lost weight That's what a divorce can do for you Yeah I mean what is going on? Is it some sort of challenge You guys are doing or Yeah I think it's The last two years have been a challenge Who knows what's been going on Is this some sort of Challenge you guys are doing Or Yeah I think it's

The last two years Have been a challenge Who knows what's been going on No no no But why Why all of a sudden Were you being shamed Because you're fat or whatever

Or what Well I was diagnosed With moderate sleep apnea So I realized I had to Lose some weight But also I had to Get that mouthpiece

And now I sleep With the mouthpiece It works It works wonders I need it You have sleep apnea too? 100%. Yeah. I only sleep like five, six hours. Oh, and you wake up? I wake up abruptly.

Oh, you need it. It would change your life. I know. I paid for it. I took the thing. The sleep study. The sleep study. It's still there. You got to pick it up at six in the morning. I was like, I'm not doing it. They can deliver them to your house now. Really? Yeah.

You get it delivered to your house, you do it, and then there's an app. Yeah, but my fear is that I'm going to, I don't know what it entails, like tubes or whatever. No, it's very easy. Yeah, the fear is that you're going to be diagnosed with severe sleep apnea, and then the only remedy for that is the mask. Which is fine. I'm fine with that. You're okay with that. But I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to fall asleep with the shit on.

Well, then you'll die From sleep apnea Is that really Yeah it's a very dangerous thing I have to do it I'll do it when I get back Yeah do it when you get back Yeah yeah yeah

Because I'm having weird sleep But I'm not sure If it kills Asians I'm not sure What do you mean Like You guys are resilient man And you're also used to masks

Yeah Yeah That was an underrated good one Me and you guys Were walking around Even before COVID But not you specifically Silly it, man. And you're also used to masks. Yeah. Yeah. That was an underrated good one. Meaning you guys were walking around even before COVID. But not you specifically. Oh, I thought it was like a Mortal Kombat joke. No, it was a racist joke. Like Scorpion.

You know what I mean? Yeah, it could have been that too. Or Ninja. Or Ninja. Or Ninja, yeah, that's good. Yeah, that was a Ninja joke. But okay, thank you. That was a double thing.

Okay, good. Well, actually, yeah, you're right. Masks all together. Yeah. You guys like masks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean, because we were doing it way before even the pandemic, remember? You would see them, Chinese people wearing it.

Yeah, you were the first ones in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah, and I don't think that's a... I think the mask wearing is kind of cultural appropriation of Asians, really. You were the first ones with masks and also the first ones using an umbrella in the sunshine. That's true. Fuck yeah, man. Dude using an umbrella in the sunshine. That's true. Fuck yeah, man.

Dude, you're so observant. It's massive. Amazing. No, Will, you're very observant. That was a sexual advantage. You're a good one. I love the Bridgerton Black. No, I think that was another don't fuck with me.

Was that a flirt or a no fuck with me? I'm beginning to think he's warming up to me. Yeah, he's warming up to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a good kid. Yeah. Because you know what? You seem like just a nice kid with a good upbringing, huh?

Yeah. Yeah. Comedians are so fucking observant. It's like we should really be like catch serial killers or something. You know? Like, we just observe. We know people, don't we? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I think I have a good eye. What's me? Tell me me. You? Yeah, what do you see? You want to be real? I want to be real, Yeah, what do you see? You want to be real? I want to be real, yeah.

What do you see? And I'm going to be real, okay? So here we go. Oh, boy. Here we go. Okay. And this is my honest, in the, what, I started in 95? So since then, I've met thousands of comics and actors and this and that.

You're probably in the top three of one of the nicest people I've met thousands of comics and actors and this and that. You're probably in the top three of one of the nicest people I've ever met. Whoa. Is that true? Yeah. You're trustworthy. There's not a mean bone in your body. You're just a guy that I will know for the rest of my life

the first two set first all right what do you mean i mean you don't respond to my text i don't know what you have been better about responding to text recently yeah well i don't when i come to new york i don't do other people's podcasts. Right. Right, but I remember the- You did do Bobby Kelly's though. I know I did,

but because- And also Flavor 2. What? And also Flavor 2. Right, but, but Flavor was different, right?

Yeah. In the sense that Andrew drove me there. And you just did Chris's too. I, no, Chris did mine. Oh,

okay. Right, bad friends, because Andrew's out of town. But I remember the last time I was here, I was like, in my head, I was like, because I didn't text you. Yeah. And I was like, no matter what, I don't care what it is, I have to do Giannis's.

I appreciate that. So it's like, that was my real... Very sweet. Tell me about me then. No, wait. But was that Ernest? I want to know if that was Ernest or were you making a joke? I'm top three nicest people.

I've ever met. We're the other two. Now's the time to name drop. Oh, the nicest people I've ever met. Who are the other two? Now's the time to name drop. Oh, the nicest people I've ever met? Yeah. Al Madrigal.

Oh, I heard he's great. Yeah. He's got to be one of them. Yeah. Just not a mean bone in his body. I mean, he has issues

and opinions and stuff like that, but... And then the other one just... Yeah. I wouldn't say that. No? just... I wouldn't say that. No?

I wouldn't say that. Who else is the third nicest people? Ted Sarandos from Netflix. No, I was on a TV and there was a girl named Nicole Parker I worked with. She's not a mean bone in her body. Wow. She's one of the nicest people I've ever met. So you're in the top three.

You can tell that I'm just like a sweetheart? Yeah. Okay. I don't think you would fuck me. I think that if it's like in a zombie apocalypse situation, I would definitely be on

wherever you're at. I'd be with you too, man. All right. You tell me about me now. The truth? Is it a heat off? It's a New York thing. Yeah? It's a New York thing. It's a New York thing.

They pump the heat in the summer. It's kind of crazy. In the winter, you mean? I mean in the winter, yeah. They pump it. It's funny because in New York, it's hotter in the winter in your house than it is in the summer.

There's no way of turning it off. There's no way to turn it off. That's insane. It's an old heater. Really? Wow, that's crazy. It's so hot in here. Pre-World War II building.

And this is where people want to live. When you say it's pre-World War II, people get excited, but that means that the heat is going to pump like this. There's no way to regulate it. The only way is to open the window. Oh, I see. Yeah.

Yeah. You want us to do that? Yeah. Yeah. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine I'm lying and we just crank the heat to get you to take off your jacket. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me about me. Imagine I'm lying and we just crank the heat to get you to take off your jacket.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me about me or no? Okay, you. I don't believe you're really Asian. I think it's a lie. I think it's a character you're doing.

No, I think... See, let's analyze what you just did there, right? Right, a joke. A joke, right? Yeah. But I was real with you, right? Right, right. And then you just needed to do that.

Right. Why? Because it was there and I took it. I know you were... There were so many things I could have said, too. You could have, you did. But I was like, I want to go real here, right? Was it truly real, though?

Why would I say that? Right. Yeah, like, Andrew's not on that list. Right. I love him dearly. I think I might, I love him more than I love you. Right, but you just know that I'm a sweeter guy. I think you're a nicer guy.

Yeah. That's the way the world works, you know? If you're nicer, you have less podcast numbers. Wait, so why do you love him more than me, though? Now I'm curious. Because I just know him more. I mean, we were, he's somebody that, he's like a brother to me. Andrew Schultz?

No, Santino. Oh, you're talking about Santino. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. That guy's a huge, though. No, Schultz is great. Schultz is a great guy. No, Santino's a piece of shit.

I don't trust him at all. I just didn't recognize because you didn't say piece of shit. Right. Right? The Schultz, I don't trust at all. Right, no, Schultz is. I called him the other day and he never even picked up. Oh, no, Schultz, he's the face of evil. I don't think he's the, I don't trust at all Right no Schultz is I called him the other day And he never even picked up Oh no Schultz is

He's the face of evil I don't think he's I don't know about that Yeah no I go like this I go Saddam Hussein Yeah yeah I go Schultz And then I go Putin

And then I go Amy Schumer Yeah yeah But like he I'm kidding I'm joking Yeah tell me about me Okay about you Without a joke though Without a joke

Yeah yeah And if it's negative I can handle it Because I want to work on it. Okay. I want to work on it. Okay. But don't go, well, you're going to text people back.

No, I'm going to go real. I'm going in there. Go real. I'm going to go real. Okay. I think you're somebody who is very sensitive with a big heart. So sensitive. I think you've got some damage in there. I think there's some

damage. So damaged. I think you probably have some self-esteem issues. Yeah, I guess so. But I think that... Wait, wait, wait. Can I just ask you something? Yeah. Why? Why do you think that? Well,

I just think maybe because you're a comedian. You became a comedian, and so you want approval of people who aren't in your family. So that we all have that a little bit. Okay. Yeah. All right.

Keep going. I think you're the type of guy that it may take a little while to break down the walls or to get to know you, It may take a little while to break down the walls or to get to know you, but I think behind that is an absolute tyrant. I think you're a horrible human. See what I'm saying? I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay, earnestly, no. I think you're one of the guys in this business who is real. I think you're real. Okay?

I think when you take out your asshole, you want to do it and you think it's really funny. And I think that there's nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with that. Somebody's got to do it. Yeah. And I'm not just saying that. I'm saying it's funny.

It makes me laugh hard. I have a friend, Jason Rouse. He used to do that. I don't think, till this day, nothing makes me laugh that hard. It's comedy. I love Jason. I hate when people get arrogant about comedy because essentially, none of us are as funny as a fart.

We're all chasing the fart. The fart is the king of comedy. Exactly. So it's like, if it makes you laugh, and not everyone's gonna be the same. Not everyone's gonna be Bal Hex or whatever. You know what I mean? It's like, everything's gotta be different. But I think you... It's so long. I think you're a piece of good...

It's not... It doesn't feel good. Here's the deal. Here's what the deal is. You're a tiny, tiny man. No. No, here's the deal. No, you're a sweet guy. Obviously. You're a sweet guy with a heart.

Shut up, man! No, you are. You're fucking around right now, dude. I'm not. It could have been so easy. You're not making it easy. You're a complicated guy. You're a complicated guy who can't get it in a sentence. All right.

Okay. So I'm just a complex, dynamic guy. I have good and bad. I believe that you are... I think you, in part, you want to be a woman. See? See what you're doing? You're not bisexual. There's something

unconscious that's driving you. Driving me to what? Autogenophilia. What? You maybe want to be a woman inside. I don't want to be a woman. You sure? Is that the reputation on me? No, there's no reputation. Honestly, is there a reputation that I want to be a woman. You sure? Is that the reputation on me? No, there's no reputation. Honestly, is there a reputation that I want to be a woman? See, that's low self-esteem, insecurity.

Why would you care about what other people think about you? I think you're guarded. That's what I'm going to say. I'm definitely going to go guarded. What do you mean guarded? Like you're guarded from your personality. You're guarding your personality. I'm not going to say you're a woman. I think you're guarded but I think you're sweet

here's the deal there's two types of comedy you're delicate let's move on we gotta move on there's two types of comedians white and Asian you're Asian

there's not what? there's so many different types no I'm just saying what are you talking about? what are you talking about dude? you want to know about you I said you're Asian

yeah I know man that's a fact about you how about? You want to know about you? I said you're Asian. That's a fact about you. I talk about who I am. To you then. You're a real person is what I'm saying. There's two types of comedians. Ones who are sociopathic and ones that are real and sensitive. You're the real and sensitive.

And Asian on top of it. So what you're saying is that is all comics sensitive? Or sociopathic. Those are the two that I... There's only two characters. I've, in my... So if I'm

one of the sensitive ones, that's not really a compliment or anything like that, right? No, you could be sensitive to other people. You're just saying you're a comic,

so that's one thing, right? I also said you're... There's nothing special you're saying about me. I said you're one of the sweetest guys I've ever met, the top three. Yeah, but that's only because I said that about you, man're just... There's nothing special you're saying about me. I said you're one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. The top three. Yeah, but that's only because I said that about you, man.

You didn't hear it. No, the thing is... I said that about you, and then all of a sudden you're saying it, but it's fine. I don't... You know what I mean? You know how crazy that is? Yeah. And people are going to watch this, and we...

You have a baldy nose. I know I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what, dude? It's like you look like Mr. Magoo, and you're ugly. And let me say something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I want to say this right. No matter how much you work out, no matter how much weight you loseoo. And you're ugly. And let me say something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I want to say this right.

No matter how much you work out, no matter how much weight you lose, dude, you're always fucking a C. A C. That's it. You're great. That's C. That's what I'm saying.

Being honest is just funnier. Yeah. See, now I know you were full of shit the first time calling me the sweetest guy. No, no, no. You wanted to call me a big guy. No, because I want to get real. And you didn't do that.

So I want to get real. Right? That was real. That's what you do that. You didn't get real. Right? That was real. That's what you really thought. Yeah. That's you. Okay? That's you, dude.

You're a fucking idiot. No, dude. Why did you get to me? Don't fuck around, man. I told you you were evil. I'm not evil, dude. I'm just saying I'm a survivor, dude. That's right.

Right? Yeah. So I gave you a compliment, right? I got vulnerable. You acted like an asshole. No. And now I'm back to being defensive. I don right. Right? Yeah. So I gave you a compliment, right? I got vulnerable. You acted like an asshole. No. And now I'm back to being defensive. What do you want me to say?

I don't know you that well. You're guarded. Okay, good. So how do you know me if I'm sweet? You don't know me outside of... It's like when you meet like... Let me give you an example. Just give me a second, okay?

Like when you meet Jay Leno for the first time. You know he's a prick. No. Oh, okay. Sorry. No, he's fundamentally, I mean, you have to put, like, you know, he's been in the business forever, right? He was a talk show host, super famous guy, right?

And, you know, you have to put all that into the ingredients of who the man is, right? But if you take that stuff out, fundamentally, though, he really is just a nice guy. Right. It's basically what... And when I look at you, right? And so it's like... That's why... I mean, I don't know you that well, but I just think that I do know you well enough

to trust you to a certain extent. With your life? At its core. I think so, yeah. Would you trust me with your life? Yeah. I mean, yeah, you said it's a zombie apocalypse. That's big. Yeah its core. I think so, yeah. Would you trust me with your life? Yeah. I mean, yeah, you said it's a zombie apocalypse. That's big.

Yeah, that's big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm going to be completely honest. Okay. I feel like you're, at your core, a really nice guy. Okay. But I would not trust you with my life. You wouldn't?

I would not. Why? Not farther than I could throw you. Why? Because I'm racist against Asians. Like, if you were like... Wait, is this pre-COVID or post-COVID? No, no, no.

What's the scenario? What's the scenario? Is it pre or post? I just need to know. First of all, okay, about the COVID, okay? Okay. Number one, dude, you weren't told about it, but you know that you did it.

No. What I want to say about that is that all jokes aside, right, you're sorry on behalf of your people. I'm sorry about COVID. Of course I am. I'm sorry. You know what I mean? You should be. You know what I mean?

Another Asian, you know what I mean? Right. Group of people. Right. You know what I mean? What do you mean another Asian group of people? I'm not Chinese, right? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I'm Korean. Wuhan's not in China. Right. Right. So Wuhan is not in China, right? Yeah. I don't think that it would have

happened in Korea. Right. Right? I think that, and I don't want, because I've been down this road before and I get in trouble. Yeah.

Right? So I'm going to slowly, you know, but, you know. But, you know, let's be honest, Chinese people, if it moves, they eat it. Do you want to start an upside? Yeah, this part is all jokes, by the way. It's all jokes. This video, it may take it down now.

Why? Oh, I don't know. We're doing comedy. This is for comedy. This is comedy. I love the people. You know what I mean? But, I don't know. We're doing comedy. This is for comedy. This is comedy. I love the people. You know what I mean? But they will eat anything

is what you're saying. Well, have you ever been to a Chinese market in China? I've heard about them, yeah. I mean, they... Like, you can buy butterfly wings. You can eat... They'll eat anything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, the shoulder of a meerkat. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you want shoulder of a meerkat, right? You're like, I don't put that in the stew. You know what I mean?

But they put it in the stew and stuff. What is that? Why do they just eat anything? Like, they... It's me a cat, right? You're like, I don't put that in the stew. You know what I mean? But they put it in the stew and stuff. What is that? Why do they just eat anything? With protein. That is true. Yeah. But they don't put like a moral attachment on to like a cat or a dog or anything like that? Well, that's okay.

So, you know, the... What the fuck? Bobby Kelly. Is it really? Yeah, should I pick it up? No. Yeah, pick it up. Well, we missed him, so it's all right.

Like the Yulin, you've heard of the Yulin Dog Eating Festival? Yes, of course. How could I not? I follow white women on Instagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like those types of things. I mean, it's cultural, you know what I mean? And this and that, but it's like, come on, man.

Right. Right, I don't know. It's a little like dogs are like, have souls. They're humans. It's not just that. It's just I remember because I- Unless you're hungry. Yeah, yeah.

Maybe, because I've never been at a point, though, in my life where I was so hungry. I mean, I would look at like Skippy, you know what I mean? Right. And go, God damn. You know what God damn, I've never been there. But I would have to say that when I was younger, we never had animals. So it's like, they were all fair game. So if I was driving down the street and I saw a dog, I would speed up and try to run it over because I didn't care. I would take a BB gun and shoot kittens in the eye. I didn't care. Right? I would take a BB gun and shoot kittens in the eye. You know what I mean?

Like, I didn't have an attachment to animals. Right? So why were you giving me a hard time about not calling you a great person? My point, though, is that...

Why can't I just have my intuition and stick with it? When I met Kalilah, when I met Kalilah, right, and we had Ming, right,

and never had a pet before. Right. And once you make a connection with these animals, right, you can no longer even, you know what I mean? Right. Consider hitting them with your car.

I know, but I didn't know. It's like a squirrel. Right. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't give a fuck. But now it's like, you know, even like if you look at YouTube, this guy who saved this calf, this cow calf, and now this calf lives with this white dude, right?

Right. And every morning the calf, like this cow, greets him at his front door and he licks his face. You know what I mean? Right. And ever since I saw that video, I'm like, maybe cows are done for me too. Right, right, right, right.

I mean, I might even eventually become a vegetarian. I know what you're saying. Do you really? I do, yeah, no. Because there's a connection or something, and there's a soul there,

and it's like, I don't know how long, but, but we are meant to, I mean, I feel like we're carnivores, and so I don't know how to feel about it. You know what's interesting is,

why? Why don't we wait for Wu-Han to do this? Yeah. Because I feel like we were going on an uncomfortable road and we went, let's go this way. Yeah, I think that's what happened. I think we went like that. Yeah, it was a hard way. Yeah.

I mean, once you say the Chinese people will eat anything... It's an observation. It's not a fucking bad thing they said. Desensitized to having connections with animals. That's what a fucking... It's an observation. It's an observation. It's not a fucking bad thing that I said. Right. They're just desensitized to having connections with animals. That's what you basically said. Because they don't have souls is what you're saying. I mean, like, for instance, my parents had, like, dried squid hanging in the fucking kitchen, right?

That's acceptable. I know, but then I saw that documentary, My Octopus's Teacher or whatever, on Netflix. You ever heard of it? Yeah. You ever heard of that one? Yeah. What is it called? My Teacher's Octopus? Exactly, yeah. No, what's it called?

Octopus Teacher. Is that what it's called? Uh-huh. You see it? No. All right. But it's like, and that little octopus would recognize the guy and play with him and stuff like that. And it's like, after watching that, I don't eat that shit anymore.

You know what I mean? Fish I'll eat. Because they, you know that I don't eat that shit anymore You know what I mean Fish I'll eat Because they You know Fish don't have expressions They don't They don't have Warm up

Yeah Expression Yeah I guess one Yeah Like they're both Yeah Yeah

Why do you think People care more about the dogs Than they do Chinese people Like when you go to those White women's Instagram pages and they're talking about the festival

and they're upset about that, they're not upset about the Uyghur Muslims, they're not upset about the Chinese starving. Why do they care more about dogs and Chinese? It's so interesting, yeah.

You're right. I don't know, but they should. They should. Do you care more about dogs and white people? Or do you care more about white people?

Are you a little racist against white people ever? You find yourself discriminating. Because I've noticed in your house there's no white people that live there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I was found curious. I have, the honest truth is that I have pent up rage against white people.

I can sense that. Yeah, and I have, because you as a, and I'm not complaining, I'm just saying, because I love my life, and I, White people won, and that's frustrating.

Sorry, sorry. I know how it is. But you guys are coming back right now, strong, strong. Strong. No, but as an Asian kid growing up in San Diego during the 80s, there's all these mini little microaggressions that you endure, right? And you don't feel it at the time, but as years go by, it builds up. It's like little things like,

like I was on a plane once, and this old white man sat next to me. It was Southwest Airline. And he looks at me and he goes, first thing out of his mouth is, my granddaughter, she loves that Hello Kitty. Right. Was his opening line.

Right. I didn't invent it. Right, right, right. I'd be on Southwest right now if I, right? It's like, and you endure every day when that happens, right? You just kind of,

you know what I mean? And it's always from white people, right? Right. And it's like, one time I was working at a, I did construction for a stuff. Black people are very kind to Asians. I don't know, man.

I don't think so, no. I was being sarcastic. I think that, but also we've been really bad toward them. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I think 92. LA riots with all the, yeah. You know what I mean?

It changed it. Right. Have you noticed since 92, black people can do whatever they want in the liquor store. Right. Right. Do you know what I'm saying? Right.

You're saying things have gotten bad. What? You're saying it's bad. No, it's good. Oh. Because it's like, you know, we... I love how many third rail topics we're just going at. I know.

Let's get into the race. Right. I know. Let's get into the race. Right. I know. No, but what I'm saying, though, is, is that like the relations, relations, especially in L.A. between black people and Asians have improved, I think, greatly. I mean, till covid. And then that took a little bit of time. Some black people were getting randomly hit on the street. Anyway, I worked construction.

Let's go back to that. Right. Yeah. And I remember I was a runner. And one day, the other runner, who happened to be a white guy, he got sick. So as a runner, you had to go to different hardware stores and pick up supplies and stuff. And so I did his route one day. And I walked into a hardware store and this like gigantic white dude in an

overall he had overalls on and he goes hey man who are you and I go oh no because Jim is you know he goes is Jim is the that's the American looking one right wow and he said the American looking room and I remember that stayed with me right it's like bitch I was I was born here too bitch you know I mean but you endure all these little things, right? And eventually, there is a rage. You just hate all white things. No, no, no, no. I love Casper,

the friendly ghost. He's white, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? There's a lot of white, like, you know what I mean? I like white things, you know what I mean?

Satin sheets and stuff. Yeah. Those are cool, but my point is, and I love white women, I love white people. You know what I mean? It's just that there is

a little bit of a thing, you know what I mean? I know what you're talking about because there's been a few times that I've endured a few of those as a Greek. Like, yeah, your dad owns a diner or something. Like, what diner does your dad own? And that was said earnestly by, like, my friend's dad or something.

Yeah. And it bothered me. But I don't know why it did bother me. Yeah, yeah. Like, I can remember them. You remember them. Why does it bother? Because it's almost like, fuck you, dude.

My dad's an attorney or whatever. Yeah, because, you know, this is overall assumption or whatever that happens. And it's like, everyone's lives are so complex. And you know what I mean? Not everyone's the same. But people put each other in little boxes and stuff. But my point is that it just gets... So many white women have looked at my dick.

Right? Right. And they went, yeah. No. Yuck. No, no, no. They would always go, oh, it's not as small as I imagined. Right.

Right? Right. That always kind of throws me off. But it should make you feel kind of good, a little good. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, if it was like the opposite, like, oh, it's smaller than I imagined. Is that why you take it out so much?

You're proud of it? Yeah. Yeah. See the brilliant comedic timing on that? Yeah, I love it. I mean, you're born with that. I love it. Yeah, that was comedic.

That was a comedic pause. Yeah. It's a good one. That was perfect. And I would never change it for the... Like, if there was a store, like a dick store, and it's detachable...

You would change it. I'd get a polish. Yeah. I would bring it into the shop. To clean it up. To clean it up. But you would change it. And the size and shape and color now.

You love him. I love him. I like the engine. Your Gen Z dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you change it? Like, if there was a store... I would change mine. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you change it like if there was a store? I would change mine.

Yeah, I'm not a big fan of mine. Yeah, get a new V6? Yeah, my dick, when it's hard, my wife who married me when I, back in the dick fix, dick pic phase

where I sent her a dick pic when I was living in Miami, she said it looked perfect. But what she didn't know is I doctored it. Wait, wait, wait. You put like, I photoshopped it. Oh, you filter on it? I photoshopped it.

Oh, you did? Yeah, I photoshopped it. And you surrounded it with small things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I just like filtered it. I kind of removed some blemishes and I sent it. It was like, I gave her like a magazine covered version of my dick.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to be hand brushed. Yeah, yeah. But my dick. Was there liver spots on it or something? No liver spots.

Just a cancer spot. It was just like a rook chest piece. Yeah. yeah. But my dick- Was there liver spots on it or something? No liver spots, just a cancer spot. It was just like a rook chest piece. Yeah. Have you seen it? No. Oh, okay. How do you think you got the job? Now, how do you solve racism?

Because I know- What the fuck are you talking about? Dude, what if Bobby- What if Bobby Lee has the fucking answer? And like, you gotta, there's like, it's in him. Movie idea, right now. Boom, write it. You're the starring person.

The fucking secrets are in you. But people gotta like do something. Like crack you open or fucking tickle you to death or whatever, and then it comes out. There's gotta be something to get it open. And they're chasing you all over, and you don't want it because you're scared of them. What do you mean?

I'm like an egg? You're like an egg that needs to be... The secrets are in Bobby Lee, but only bad people know it, and they're coming after you. Because you're like the Big Lebowski. You're like the dude, because you're not smart, right?

Are you pitching me a movie right now? All right, so I'm a movie executive. Yeah, nobody would expect that it would be. All right, so let's play it out, right? Right. Welcome to Wanderlust Films. How you doing, Mr. Greenberg? How are you?

Hello. And how are you, Silverstein? Silverstein's fine. How are you? Don't look at him. Yeah. So my point is, I mean, welcome. And how are you, Phoebe Robinson?

I don't know why you're here, but. So, you know, we only have a couple of minutes because we have. Why do you have a, who's this guy?

This is my, that is my, he's my beard. He's, for any time I've said anything that's not colorful, just know I have a black friend. All right,

pitch the movie. We have two minutes. Yes. I'm sorry about that. Yeah. Okay. So what is it? So the movie is,

I don't know if you're familiar with the comedian, Bobby Lee. Big fan. Big I'm sorry about that. Yeah. Okay, so what is it? So the movie is, I don't know if you're familiar with the comedian Bobby Lee. Big fan. Big, I mean, he, I love him. Listen. Yeah. Let me tell you something.

He's someone who I, Is he, is she on Grey's Anatomy? No, that's, Oh, that's Sandra Oh. That's Sandra Oh. My bad. Yeah.

Sandra Oh. He was in Heroes. No, he's on a podcast. Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a trailblazer. He was on Mad TV. He was probably one of the first Asian people in America.

We've seen his penis. Yes. Is that guy the penis guy? The penis guy. No, no, no, no. That's King Jong- Oh, with the hangover. That's King Jong.

Oh, I see. Yeah, that's another guy. Yeah. And that guy doesn't- There's no penis there. Yeah, any who pitched the movie. Yeah, sorry. So. That's King Kong. Oh, I see. Yeah, that's another guy. Yeah. And that guy doesn't, there's no penis there. Yeah, any who pitched the movie. Yeah, sorry. So Bobby Lee's a comedian. He's a little portly, which is perfect,

because I think he's coming into his own, right? Like, he used to be skinny and kind of better looking, but now he looks kind of like it's falling apart, right? Which is good, which makes him the perennial underdog. He's so funny. His comedic timing's so great. The movie. The movie is.

Bobby Lee. He's just an unassuming Asian, South Korean from San Diego who's had a lot of microaggressions against him and has a lot of rage against whites. Okay. Guess who's looking for him? White supremacists.

Why? Because they've been told by Jesus, so they know it's true, that the secret to – wait, why would white supremacists want to end racism? That's why it's a comedy. So the white supremacists want to end racism because they're tired of being white supremacists. But until they can stop racism, they have to continue being white supremacists. Wow, okay. The key to the end of racism is in

Bobby Lee's asshole, which he opens up and talks out of on stage. May I make some suggestions? Yes. So what he does is, Bobby Lee, because we have a deal with X-Men. Okay. So let's make him a mutant.

Okay. His only power, though, is in his butthole, right? If you have sex with him, right? He has the ability for you to change with another race and to live their life. Wow. Right? So that's the power.

Yeah, so if he goes to, like, Idaho, to some sort of, like, you know, KKK compound. Right. He that's the power. Yeah. So if he goes to like Idaho, to some sort of like, you know, KKK compound. Right. He bends over. We make the butthole very just like illustrious. Right. Well, let's think. We could use, you know what?

We could use Jason Momoa's butthole because we have a deal with him. Valuable butthole. Right. It's Polynesian. He's got insurance on it. Yeah. Yeah. But the butthole, it's like a pineapple ring.

Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah. It's a beautiful butthole, Jason Momoa. So we CGI Jason Momoa's butthole, it's like a pineapple ring. Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah, it's a beautiful butthole, Jason Momoa. So we CGI Jason Momoa's butthole onto Bobby Lee, right? And he bends over, and maybe we have like a fairy dust that comes out. Right. It kind of like, you know, mesmerizes, right? They stick their dick in, right?

Boom, they're in South Central. They're black now. Wow. The whites. And they have to live their lives for five years. That's the power. Right. And he does that all over.

So everyone has to live other people's, you know what I mean, life in the color of their skin. Right? I love it. Trading places too. Is it trading places too? It's like trading places but to end racism. Right. Right.

Yeah. So the power's in Jason Momoa's butthole. So what do we do with Bobby Lee? No. Bobby Lee, we have Bobby Lee's full, but we don't want to use his, but we Momoa's butthole. So what do we do with Bobby Lee? No, Bobby Lee, we have Bobby Lee's full, but we don't want to use his, but we've seen his butthole. Jason Momoa's just standing. Oh!

We have the technology to put a little green screen ring around Bobby Lee's butthole, and then we put Jason Momoa's butthole, the pineapple ring, that's Polynesian butthole, around Bobby's butthole, because it just tests better. Yes, and you know what's great About Bobby Lee So the power When people fuck Bobby Lee

Is they turn Into another race And then they get to Learn the experience Of what it's like To be another one And the good thing About Bobby Lee

Is he likes to do His own stunts So that's great So we would have The guys actually fuck him Because he loves To do his own stunts Because the budget

Of this movie We're going to give you $10 so You know what I mean He's going to have To do his own And he's the budget of this movie, we're going to give you $10. So, you know what I mean? He's going to have to do his own. And he's got no problem with that. Really? Yeah.

That's great. You know, he does it sometimes. He practices frozen pieces of dog shit. Right. But you know what's great, though? But, you know, we do have a stand-in that we would like to use, right? Because, you know, we knew this guy named Giannis. Yeah.

From New York. He's one of the top three people Bobby Lee's ever met that are nice. Right. So when, you know, because obviously Bobby Lee character has to go to

the KKK compound, but he also has to go to, you know what I mean, an urban area to fuck blacks, right? For them to turn white. Right. So we're going to use

Giannis for that. We're going to use Giannis for that because his butthole, right, looks like it's a gape Right Yeah yeah yeah Right

I don't know If he's available No he's available Because I think One of his podcasts Has started again Right I know that

He got fucked over With the history of hyenas You know what I mean He got fucked there So he has time Right Right right right He has time

Right Right Right He did Right He did So let's do it Right Let's do the movie Right, right, right. He has time. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. He's dead. He's dead. So let's do it.

Right, right. Let's do the movie. And he's always willing to get fucked again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That movie would. Good one. Dude, imagine though. Yeah.

If we made that movie. No one would watch it. But how interesting. Literally think about that movie. Yeah. We just pissed. It's a great movie. And you're watching it in the theater. Yeah. Like you're blind. Literally think about that movie. Yeah. We just pitched. It's a great movie. And you're watching it

in the theater. Yeah. Like you're blind. You don't know what it is. It's this A24 in the beginning. Right. So people think they're going to see

a fucking great, right? Yeah. Just imagine people watching that. I think. Me being bent over. You know what I mean? People reffering

turning fucking black. I mean that'd be insane. Yeah. It would be like a whole one shot eight minute anal scene. What whole one shot Eight minute anal scene What? A whole eight minute anal scene

Like no cuts No cuts Till it's done No cuts Yeah Yeah It's like Ray Liotta Walking into the back of the kitchen

In Goodfellas No cuts Straight through No it's like that one war movie They did with no cuts What was that movie? 1917 Yeah that one

That was a great movie We do it like that Yeah No cuts The thing is That's a brilliant idea though What? If like to that one. That was a great movie. We do it like that. Yeah. No cut. The thing is, that's a brilliant idea though. What? If like to have a superpower,

if like a picture movie with that superpower. That would be a great movie. The superpower to switch, to make someone switch races. Oh yeah, that'd be cool. Or you having the secret to something. You cut out the butthole stuff.

Yeah. And just, yeah. Or you, or like a character like you Being the star Having the secret for something But something crazy Has to happen to you To unlock it

You know what I'm saying Oh Yeah yeah yeah Like you gotta do something crazy Like and they're like Nobody believes Like Bobby Lee has that answer It's like Bobby Lee's

You're like the bigger boss I know what it is Yeah So My mother Grew up during The Korean War. Okay?

My father fought in that. You're welcome. Maybe they fucked. He did say Korean whores got tight pussies. I swear to God. My mom's pussy is so tight. Huh? My mom's pussy is so tight.

Did she do prostitution by any chance? Two-seven. Okay. My dad wasn't in Hollywood, so I don't think it happened. Okay. So it was generations that my family owned this one house at the top of this hill. And it was like hundreds of years they've owned this house. And this house is made out of rice paper. It's like a real Asian-y kind of looking house.

What's so funny? I mean, what do you mean real Asian-y looking? Like it's made out of like rice paper? Yeah Like they don't have bricks and shit? No, they have like wood, but you know the Oh, it's like bamboo Yeah, it's like

Yeah And there's an outhouse Right Right, at this house And I remember when I was like 11 years old I had to take a shit in this outhouse I was in Korea Wait, you grew up here though? I know, but I was visiting I mean, they I had to take a shit in this outhouse. I was in Korea.

Wait, you grew up here, though. I know, but I was visiting. I mean, they had planes back then. Oh, okay. Yes, I was born in San Diego, right? Yeah. And my mom was like, we're going to Korea. So we went to go see my grandparents.

So if they had planes, why don't they get bricks for the house yet? Why are they so far behind on the fucking house? But check this out. Yeah. In this outhouse is just a hole, right? There's no, like, it's a hole in the ground. Right. And if you look down, it's, like, so deep with just piles of shit.

But it's, like, my great-great-grandfather's shit was in the... Think about it. Right. Korean time capsule. It's basically, right? Yeah. So what about this? What if I fall into there? In the movie.

Right. I like that. And that puts you through a time warp. And you go back. Because my grandparents' magical shit is down there. Yeah, that's how he gets his power. That's how he gets his power. Oh, it's by crawling down there.

Yeah, and I get scared. I'm drowning in shit, right? But you can't get... I can sink to the bottom, right? Yeah. And I see my great-great-grandparents or something. You know what I mean? Right, right.

And I get shit back up. You come back up with Dennis Robin. Yeah. Oh, shit, that's a good one. Yeah. Because I'm filled with shit? What are you talking about? Oh.

Do you think I'm black? You changed races, you know? Dennis Robin loves Koreans. Oh, I thought you were saying that. Okay, so my bad So you Yeah maybe come up With a mound of shit Mold them

Freeze them And now you have Frozen dog shits To fuck yourself with Oh in North Korea Yeah Two different movies I know

I'm just trying to Work at the frozen dog shit Yeah yeah yeah Isn't that weird though That that's a real story though Yeah that is crazy Yeah But I mean I don't think

There's shit still there Why you think it's shit still there. Why? You think it's in the... I think it gets eaten by the ground. Oh, you think so? But still some fun elements of it, no? Yeah, sure. I mean, I'm not a shitologist.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know how that works. I think, I'm pretty sure the ground eats all the shit pretty quick because it has, the way it works is it's like a fertilizer for the ground.

Ah, I see, I see. So it takes it out. It absorbs it fertilizer for the ground Ah So they Takes it It absorbs it But not in your movie In your movie Your grandfather's shit Will still be there 500 year old shit I got it then

I got it You do a cut scene From 300 years ago Yeah Right And one of my ancestors Has a ring or something Right

And he's taking a shit And it falls down there And you gotta go and get it No I just slip in there As a you know what I mean, modern day Korean kid. But how do you fall into the toilet? I remember the hole being pretty big, though. Oh, so you just sit down and you're drunk and you fall right in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you come out and now you have this ring and now you can get revenge on all these white dudes in San Diego. That's a fun movie, too. Yeah. Instead of Cocaine Bear, it's Cocaine Bobby. Yeah. And you're going back and you're killing dudes in San Diego. That's a fun movie, too. Instead of Cocaine Bear, it's Cocaine Bobby. And you're going back and you're killing whites in San Diego. One fucking whitey at a time. No, I love white people, man.

Yeah, you go, you like Hello Kitty? And then you pick one up and you just fuck him with a frozen piece of dog shit. Have you ever had microaggressions toward white people or no? Microaggressions? Like white people towards you? I mean, there's a lot of people that call me

Chance the Rapper, so. Yeah. That's a good thing, though. Yeah. Not always when they tell you

to dance. Oh. Somebody said dance? Yeah, dance like Chance the Rapper. Does that make you mad? Yeah, it makes me mad.

Who said that to you? Many people. Life, you know, college. They say dance? If you dance like Chance the Rapper,

go dance. Yeah. What do they say to you Jesse As an Italian Jew? I've gotten a lot But most of my bullies were black Growing up I got bullied by black people

That's why you're so strong now That's right Yeah But if you think about it Yeah I believe though All those little things that happened to me Growing up

From my dad's abuse To all the trauma and all that stuff rejection toward from women microaggressions i think i needed to have all that to happen for me to get to the place that i'm at now i think so absolutely you know what i'm saying it's made me who i am now it's made me resilient in in many ways you know like i can withstand so much like that's why as a stand-up, you have to endure, you probably don't remember what it was like

when you first started. Do you remember? So long ago. Yeah, but, right, it was hard, though. It was very hard. Right, it's almost like, you literally think, oh, this is impossible.

Right. Like, how am I gonna make a living in this? This is insane because they treat you so poorly right there's so little opportunity and it's just like but you need that resilience to get through all that it's very true right yeah it's weird yeah you're still standing man yeah i'm still standing i'm not done not even close yeah i'm not even close to being done you know i mean so it's like know, so I guess the message is

don't kill yourself. Don't ever kill yourself. And you gotta go for it in life. And if you're feeling low, you gotta reach out to someone. That's true. You have to reach out. Reach out to Bobby. Reach out to Bobby. Yeah, you'll pick up.

I've never had a problem reaching out. I just got a year of sobriety. Congratulations, Bobby. That's very important. Thank you, thank you. That's earnest. No, thank you. Yes, give him a raise.

And I remember a year ago when I was sick, and I just called people and said, I'm sick, I need help. Yeah. I've never been, I've always been able to do that. That's good. Yeah. I don't have any problems with that.

You know, the perception we sometimes have about the amount of people who care about us versus the reality, the reality is almost everyone you know cares about you. You know, it's when you're down. It's like, so you can reach out to a lot of people

and they will respond and help. So you always hold on because it never lasts. You're just in a dark place. Yeah. And then, you know. 100%. The light comes after the darkness

and sometimes those dark places are necessary for you to be able to access some wisdom that, like you said, you can only get by going through that dark place. Rise up. Dante circles the hell.

Really? There was a time after mad tv i literally was like i'm never i'm done in this business i was so depressed and this is when like other asians were killing it like ken jung you know like every i couldn't even get auditions. And I just remember going, I'm so hopeless. But then it changed. It's so weird. I mean, I waited 10 years after that, but it just slowly changed. For 10 years it was completely dead?

Or you were doing stand-up and stuff. No, but it was weird because I would, after Mad TV, you know how if you got off of SNL, I remember Amy Poehler leaving SNL and just getting a bunch of deals and opportunities. We all waited back in line. It was really hard. Even Keegan and Jordan and Ike, we were all kind of back in line, which I guess in retrospect, it helped us because we had to kind of reinvent ourselves and, you know what I mean, figure it out, right? But at the time, I didn't think I'd be able to do it, you know what I mean? So it was like, no, yeah, I would do the road. I would go to a comedy club and I would sell maybe half the room. I would go to Houston Improv, sell half the room, and make whatever the guarantee was.

But it's like, it's decent, right? But it's not like, you know what I mean? It's not like you can't buy a house, right, in L.A., you know what I mean? So it's like... It's a low point, especially when you go up. Yeah, you're on a TV show for eight years, and then you leave, and you're like, oh, there's nothing available. You know what I mean? And it's hard. But it changed. leave and you're like, oh, there's nothing available. You know what I mean? And it's hard. But

it changed. So it's like, it gave me a valuable lesson of like, no, it's not. Even right now, it could change for the better or worse. I don't know what's going to happen. Right? But I will survive it. Right. You are a survivor. You're a survivor.

And anything that happens to you, it'll be because of you. Either you're going to go up or you're going to go down, but it's because of you. Either you're going to go up or you're going to go down, but it's because of you. One day at a time, you're doing great. Now, it's the end of the episode, so name fucking names. Is it the end now?

Yeah. I'm not doing it. Should I do it? You promised. If you're not a man of your word. Alright. Well, how did the podcast go, you think? It was incredible. You thought so? Promised. If you're not a man of your word. All right. Well, how did the podcast go, you think? It was incredible. You thought so? When have you done a bad podcast?

When have me and you done a bad podcast? That's true. We never do bad podcasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was that good? It was good. Yeah, but in my head, it's like, because there's no way to know what it's like, though. Only they know.

I know. That's the thing. We put it out there. Yeah, yeah. You try. You put it out there though only they know i know that's the thing we put it out there yeah yeah you try you put it out there and but you never really i never i mean i mean i've done like podcasts that were like excellent in retrospect right you know i mean you know people get the views and stuff but at the time after you're done with it you're not going oh that was a masterpiece that's happened to me too yeah sometimes i'm like ah that't a masterpiece, but then that's the one people like more. Right, right.

So you never know. So you're basically saying you don't feel great about this one. No, I do. I feel great about it. So why'd you ask? I was just asking. I'm just trying to divert. I'm trying to divert.

Yeah. Away from the fact that you don't feel great about it. No, I'm trying to divert the fact that I have to name names. Oh, you're trying to get away from it. Right, right, right, right, right, right. Oh, no, you're the one. You're the one that promised. You're the one that promised. And you to get away from it. Right, right, right, right, right. Oh, no, you're the one that promised. You're the one that promised.

And you know what the expression is? Like, I read Confucius and Shave. You guys don't do that, you go to hell. Right, right, right. You got a different New Year's. I'm just playing by your rules. Right. Okay, I'll name some names.

Okay. Jim Jameson. Who the fuck is that? Who the fuck is that? It's one of the elites. It's one of the who? It's one of the elites? Yeah.

Franklin Thomas. Jesus Christ. You didn't have to do this, Bobby. So they're just pricks now. I'm just naming names. I'm just making it up. You're making it up. Oh, you're making it up.

Oh, yeah, because look, you got us Googling and shit. Jim Jamison. It's actually a whiskey. That guy in the glasses, man. What a piece of shit that guy is. Yeah, which one? Just name one person who you fucking hate so much you don't care if they hear it. You don't fucking care because you hate them so much.

You never want to work with them again. Just fucking. Okay, I'm going to name a name. Just say Tom Segura. I'm going to name a name, but I don't even know if it's real or not. Right. That's the thing. It's just that, you know, I i have i imagine some things right right i get

paranoid you know i mean about certain things right so there's one guy and i don't know why but i don't have a good feeling about him and i'll give him to give him the name bj novak B.J. Novak. I know who that is. Yeah. Yeah, I think everyone knows who that is. Wow, let's take a look at his eyes. Yeah, I don't know why. You just have a bad feeling about him.

Yeah. Are you sure it's him and you're not mistaking him with Seth Meyers? I know Seth, and I love Seth, and I want to say something about Seth Meyers, is that during that time when I was not doing well, he was the only one that helped me. That's incredible. Seth Meyers. Yeah. That's how you know who your friends are.

He called me and he goes, I'm doing this animated show called The Awesomes on Hulu. And he goes, I want to cast you as one of the guys. It was me, Ike Barinholtz holds him, a bunch of people, right? And even, what's the guy's name? Fucking, the main guy. Jimmy Fallon? No, the- Will Ferrell.

Will Ferrell. Producer. Lorne Michaels. Lorne Michaels. When Lorne Michaels goes, no, he has to read, Seth goes, he doesn't have to read, I'm going to give it to him. Wow. And he made me feel like I had a life vest.

Right. And I will always... See, when shit like that happens, when I'm in a desperate part and somebody helps me, I never forget it. Me neither. You forget it? No, I never forget it.

Never forget it. You're like an elephant, but you wouldn't know that since you hate animals. What? I'm like an elephant. Elephants always remember. Yeah, I love animals, dude. I never forget it. You're like an elephant, but you wouldn't know that since you hate animals. What? I'm like an elephant. Elephants always remember. Yeah, I love animals, dude. I have seven animals.

I have four dogs and three cats. So you're off. You're off. Now this is the time you flex on me. Yeah. You need a wink on that one. All right. Yeah.

But yeah, so... I'll just give you an example. I'll tell you why. Take his face off. I don't want to look at it Years ago When I was on that TV When he first moved to LA

I was with him And Bonnie McFarland Right And this was way before Bonnie knew Rich And We were at the Improv or something

And I had this Inn At a hot nightclub, right? Right. Because I was in the AA, and this guy from AA was the doorman. And even though I was on a sketch show, this and that, it was a hard place to get in,

but I got these two in, and we had a great time. Right. And then a couple years later, he got the office and all that stuff, right? And I remember going to Seth Meyers' birthday party because I was invited. And he walked up to me and he goes, what are you doing here? And he kind of walked away.

And it just, and I haven't seen him since then. Right. But it just kind of made me go, oh, enemy. Right? Right. Sometimes they do. oh enemy right right right sometimes they do and I couldn't I have so many of those stories actually

right I have like 20 of them I can rattle off right now we got all the time in the world I know but I cannot yeah we got all the time because a lot of them

I still hang out with right oh those are the best ones but I've had people like do and say things and behave in ways where I went oh okay it's a moment where they show their real colors But I've had people do and say things and behave in ways where I went, oh, okay.

It's a moment where they show their real colors. But it's a normal guy would let it go. Right. Right? But because I'm a trauma guy. Yeah. And because I'm Korean, I think a lot of it has to do with my culture. Yeah.

Because if you watch Korean movies, they're all about revenge. That is true. Yeah. Yeah. Koreans love revenge movies. because if you watch Korean movies, they're all about revenge. That is true. Yeah, yeah. Koreans love revenge movies. It's just like, and I think it has to do with the oppression of the Japanese and this and that,

but there is this like, you know what I mean, thing that we have that's like, I'll show you. Right. You know what I mean? Greeks have that same thing because of the Turks.

You're right. So there's like a revenge-y kind of a thing and it's not healthy. Right. I just got a list. What? You got a-y kind of a thing. And it's not healthy. Right. I just got a list. What? You got a list. I have a list.

But it's also, I probably even completely misinterpreted what he said at the party. I don't think so. It could have been a joke. I don't know. My point being, though, is that I have that. If it was a joke, he would have went, what are you doing here, walked away, and then turned around and giggled. He would have He would have went He would have went What are you doing here Walked away

And then turned around And giggled He would have laughed Right Right But can I tell you another He was disgusted By your presence

Right By the way you told the story But can I just tell you Why I think this is I could be wrong I'll tell you why And I'll dispute it I'll dispute it

Because I want it to be bad So there was another guy There's another big Hollywood actor Right That I knew way back in the day Right And I was How it. I'll dispute it. Because I want it to be bad. So there was another guy. There's another big Hollywood actor that I knew way back in the day. How big are we talking? He's big. I'll tell you who it is in a second. Okay, great. And I was at a pizza joint, right?

And I was eating pizza. And he was there with his family. I didn't see this guy in years. And he had blown up since I last saw him. And I looked at him. And he kind of looked up from his pizza and looked down and just didn't say anything. So in my head, I'm like, oh, he just dissed me. Because he knows who I am, right? He never saw me, though.

Because the, and then I started talking shit, you know what I mean, going, this guy, right? Well, how didn't he see you? I think he was just with his family and he was a little farther away and maybe it was, I don't know. Right. You know what I mean?

But he didn't. Who told you he didn't see you? He did. Exactly. Yeah. But he remembered, he went, he went,

oh yeah, I just didn't see you. I didn't see you. No, but then, I remember that. I didn't see you. Next time I saw him, which is years later, he ran up and gave me a hug.

Was that after Tiger Belly took off? Bad friends. Right, right. I don't know. Yeah. You think that that is? I mean, I'm just saying. John Stamos didn't come to the show kicking and screaming.

He wanted to be on it. I'm just saying, guys act a little different when you got a platform. Right. Can we just, before we end, I want to talk about that. Yeah. Because I have seen that.

Yes. Right? What is that? And then why do we accept it? It's phoniness. Based on self-interest. Yeah. Look at my theory though.

Okay. I'm not going to name who it is, but one time, years ago, I was at an open mic, and I saw this kid who I kind of dissed, because he was an open miker. He came up to me all excited,

and I was like, back up, whatever, right? And then later, he starts killing this kid, right? And then I just remember me dissing him. And then when I saw him again, I was super nice. So you were the other way around. Now, my point being is that because you can't let everyone in, right? Because imagine if we went and we let every open mic

or everyone that had a dream into our world. You just can't do it as a human being. Right. Your story's a little different. It's not. It's a little different. Why? Because it wasn't like you saw that he had a platform for you.

You saw that he was good as a comic. You were just giving him props. So you were just giving him props. Whereas the other scenario was about like, hey, there's something in it for me. I'm going to be cool now to that person. Yeah, but I don't think it's anything for me. I think it has to do with, oh, he is now on the rise again. Right.

Right. And now I'm going to be nice. Right. Right. But isn't that the same with the open mic-er? Well, what was your thought process? Is that why you did it? with the open mic-er?

Well, what was your thought process? Is that why you did it? No, sometimes it's like, I just, when people like, you know,

when you're at an open mic sometimes and, Wait, what were you doing at an open mic? Yeah, you were there too. No, at the comedy store

sometimes, you know, I'm in the main room and then they're doing the open mic. And you saw them killing it. So you, did you go up?

No, no, this guy didn't even kill it. I just, he was just with a bunch of kids. Right. He came up to me all like, you know what I mean?

Yeah. What's up, man? I'm so-and-so. I just started comedy. And I was like, back up. Right. Right? And then years later,

that guy is now killing it and that was nice to him. Yeah, I think that's different. No, that's different. It's the same thing. No, it's totally different. No, it's not. His energy was, yeah, his energy was way too much at the beginning. And it's like, yeah, you don't do it that way.

Not yet, at least. Yeah, not yet. You don't come like, so your reaction was appropriate. And then when he killed it, it actually shows a lot about you that you actually even fucking remembered the kid. I wouldn't even fucking remember that kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You actually remembered that kid and I wouldn't even fucking remember that kid. You actually remembered that kid and went up and then gave him props. So it just shows

that you're a fucking pro. I'll give you the name. Tiffany Haddish. So one time, this is way before Tiffany Haddish made it. Right. Oh my god. I can't believe I'm going to say this. So yeah, you had to be...

So I was, I was, so this is way before Kalilah, whatever. Yeah. And I was on a date with this girl. I was holding hands with this hot chick. Yeah.

Right. And I, I, from the comedy store to the laugh factory, I was holding her hand. Yeah. And I go, let's go to the laugh factory.

I was trying to flex that I can get into any comedy club. Right. Right. Right. Right. So as I'm walking toward the fucking laugh factory, I see Tiffany Hanish and she comes up to me and and she's, like, in a costume or something. And she's, like, pranking me.

You know what I mean? Hey, you know what I mean? You got some change or whatever, right? And she goes, oh, you're Bobby Lee. You're not funny. Oh, I don't know what the bit was, but she made me look foolish. Right. Right?

And all of a sudden, a camera came out of nowhere in my face, right? I go, don't fucking do this Why you bitch You know what I mean And I was like Being a fucking asshole Right And then I went in the club

And I go What's that girl's name And they go Her name is Tiffany Haddish And I go Fuck her I was on a date And she

You know what I mean Yeah you didn't like That she was doing that shit And for years I wouldn't even talk to her Right And she would even come up to me And like apologize

Right And I'd be like Back up And then luckily And this is so funny Because Tiffy admits this, maybe six months before she blew up, I walked up to her and I go, listen, I know you're really funny and I've been giving you a hard time for the last couple of years

for that thing that you did. And I'm going to let it slide. Let's just be friends or whatever, right? She hadn't blown up or anything like that. And then she blew up and then I asked her to do my podcast and she did it and she goes, if you hadn't apologized six months before that, I would have never done this podcast.

Right. Right. My point though being is that I still, you know, you do an about face sometimes in this business. What is that? Well, I think yours was genuine because you did it before she blew up. Or maybe you had an intuition she was going to blow up and you wanted to do it for yourself. Maybe that was it.

I think I could feel her rising. You could feel it, right? You know what I mean? Is that why you're here? You don't really want to be here, but you feel her rising. But I just don't know. Is that a human condition thing or am I shallow? I mean, what is it?, but you feel a rising. But I just don't know. Is that a human condition thing? Or am I shallow?

I mean, what is it? It means you're a survivor, and you generate towards positive stuff. Right? Right? But what you're saying is the thing that I mentioned before, the very first name that I mentioned. Yeah. Right? That's still different than this.

That's different than this. You're right. I think you're right. Yeah, that's different. No, totally, if he was joking, he would have totally turned around and been like. He would have cleared it up. Yeah, and then he would have laughed with you. He would have grabbed your arm and been like, hey, Bobby, I was just fucking around. You're right. I think you're right. Yeah, that's different. No, totally, if he was joking, he would have totally turned around and been like... He would have cleared it up. Yeah, and then he would have laughed with you. He would have grabbed your arm and been like,

hey, Bobby, this is fucking right. Right, right. Because then, what's the joke? Right, right. There's no joke if you don't know it's a joke. Right, I'm not going to say him, but there is an elitism in Hollywood, especially in the comedy,

and I just don't jive with it. I don't jive with it either. That's my last point. Yeah. I just don't jive with it. I don't jive with it either. That's my last point. Yeah. I just don't jive with it. I think that just shows that you're about the laughs. You're about the funny

because, listen, for us to be funny, we can't, you can't get into the elites. I got to do a Zoom thing. Right when I was talking? I know. It's my network thing.

I was just funny that you just said I'm not with the elite thing and then you go, I got to do a Zoom thing. I got to do it right now. I got to do it right now. Yeah, do it right now.

Do it right now. All right, that's it. Bobby Lee, everybody. Check out Tiger Belly, of course. And Bad Friends. I didn't know it was that late. And whatever movie he's going to be in. And then he's also third or fourth Asian in line for some Marvel movie.

Where can I do it? That's not going to be loud and lively for him. We're going to stop right now. What's up, guys? Where can I do it? That's not going to be loud and lively for it. We're going to stop right now. What's up, guys?

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Yeah. So call Chris at 215-750-3730 if you're in Philly or South Jersey, and a kid will cash you a check. It's pretty simple. He'll meet you at a Wawa and cash you a check. Under the table. That's all. That's all there is to it at Chris Minetti, Minetti Financial Services.

All right. For the free.art music in Hawaii, go check them out. Local artists, free music. The website's a great peruse. For the free.art. And then Manly Girly Studios. There you got podcasts.

Gringo and the Rough, A Side of Fries, Casa de Thinking, The Manly Girly Show, Unscripted Comedy, or Thought-Provoking Discussions with Art Andy and their interesting friends. You're sure to have a ridiculously good time. Tune in and be ready to be entertained at

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