Yannis Pappas Hour - Bret Ernst’s Cologne Guy w/ Paul Virzi

Episode Date: June 25, 2022

Our close friend Paul Virzi stops by to talk his brand new comedy special “Nocturnal Admissions” on Netflix right now. Then we call hilarious comedian Bret Ernst—who also has a new special out right now on YouTube—To find out about his cologne guy and that’s where it gets wild. We laughed our asses off. Go watch both these guys specials.Bret new special here: https://youtu.be/qZmwV-gEIYsPaul’s is on Netflix right now!Also check out the Anything better podcast with  @Paul Virzi  &  @Bill Burr   @Anything Better? ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you get anxiety panic attacks of like reminiscent about trying to get out of here? No, from COVID? Or just being in a smaller place? You know, we do have Stockholm Syndrome. New Yorkers have Stockholm Syndrome. There's no question. You do. New Yorkers.

New Yorkers. Yeah, people who grew up in New York have Stockholm Syndrome. Because you know what Stockholm Syndrome is? You're looking at me like you don't know what Stockholm New York have Stockholm Syndrome because it's you know what Stockholm Syndrome is you're looking at me like you don't know what Stockholm Syndrome is that's what it is

no it's where like you want you're stuck in the you're stuck in the first place right we should be rolling this is no it is

it's where you're stuck in the like you go a bad situation you still want I just I just love that you went through

your whole life and Stockholm Syndrome oh the guy's here. Look at that. All right. Well, we're going to have some pizza. We'll be right back. And there's something up, now here comes a great kid you know you can trust From the truth, who's who, to the news and cameras To the fake politics and the propaganda

Yeah, this kid's screwed in, got a lot to say Ah, shit, it's about to be a long day It's a long day, it's a long day What's up everybody, welcome to another episode of Long Days with Giannis Pappas We got Jared Harvin, off camera, on mic Jesse got Jared Harvin off camera, on mic. Jesse Scaturo off camera, on mic. On camera, looking good.

Paul Verzi. Yeah. Welcome. You do know what Stockholm Syndrome is. I do know what Stockholm Syndrome is. Yes. I wonder, because you know what it made me think of?

You just weren't confident when it came up. No, what happened was as soon as you said Stockholm Syndrome, I'm thinking, I'm going, that's a bad situation that you kind of get comfortable in or you want back. But I couldn't say it right, but it made me think of, do you think the women who were locked up in Cleveland for 10 years got that?

Ariel Castro's girls? Because they did get Mickey D's every day from our hair. I'm serious. Do you know that? Yeah, Ariel Castro. He gave them Mickey d's every day and i'm wondering if they were like you know they were like this is a good situation i get a free happy meal like when they think they order sandwich they want to go into a dungeon yeah

nobody ever talks about that part of their day there's the okay there's a lot of horrible stuff okay yeah they're they're being assaulted yeah they're being kidnapped and held against their will but there also was part of the day that was kind of nice you think like when he wasn't there they were like you think he's getting apple pies yeah there was a part of the day where they looked forward to it where he went all right girls i'm going out what do you guys want and they were like give me a number four where he went, all right, girls, I'm going out. What do you guys want?

And they were like, give me a number four. I'll take a number four, large Mountain Dew. Yo, I think they got an Ice Age toy in the Happy Meal. There had to be good parts of the day. Listen, if you're there for 10 years, there had to be some laughter and something that got them through mentally. And I'm thinking the Mickey D's. I'm not even joking.

That has to be because everybody gets happy when you eat, right? Yeah. Anytime you eat, you're Greek. I'm Greek and Sicilian. Eating is a very, we just have pizza. Soon as we bite it, what did I say? How good was that pizza? Yeah.

Wondering if they're in that dungeon and all those horrible things are happening, you got to have something. And I would imagine it would be Mickey D's. Yeah. Mickey D's is probably a big part. Because the day didn't get better than that. Yeah, no, and there was also probably like a lot of good parts of the day. They probably had like, you know, they had to have some good times.

There were some good times that came, kid came down there, you know. Look, he wasn't the most charming guy. If you're the most charming guy, you don't have to keep somebody held in a basement. But if your audience is people who you are keeping in a basement yeah and you restrict all other entertainment or guys away then you start to see it's like it's like office hop you know you know when you go into an office and you're like you start to find people attractive aren't attractive just because they're in the office. So he becomes like office charming to them.

He's like captor charming. You know what that reminds me of? When Chris Rock was in that movie The Longest Yard, they were in prison. It was just this big guy. He goes, in nine months, he's going to look like Beyonce. It's true. It's Plato's Allegory of the Cave. You measure what you know.

That's all you know. Until you know something different, that's your world. That's your whole world. So yeah, there was probably points where he just came down and he said some funny stuff. They genuinely laughed. They had to have. Yeah, I bet you they had like a Monopoly night.

Maybe they had like a Monopoly night at Ariel Cash. Did he let them watch TV? I don't remember the details, but I don't know if he, I think he did let them watch TV. We talked about it. At some point we talked about it and I think he was, because I remember I made a joke,

do you think it was, I think he let them watch late night and maybe the joke was like, the James Corden show came on and they were like, that's what, no, I was saying like, he was making them watch late night

in order for them to not want to leave because they didn't want to go into a world where that was entertainment. That's funny. But you know what's funny is Cleveland is really one of those only towns that that could happen because you go to Cleveland,

the population's gone, the houses next to each other, some of them boarded up. He probably didn't have any neighbors because the houses were The houses next to each other. Some of them boarded up. So like, he probably didn't have any neighbors because his neighbor, like the houses were probably abandoned next to him. Yeah.

There's nobody in Cleveland. Cleveland's one of those places where when you're at the comedy club, hilarities, which is amazing. Yeah. And the food is amazing. But then you go out

and you're like, it's tough. It's a tough two days alone. Yeah. What do you do when you go to Cleveland? It's a big hotel weekend for me. Yeah.

Yeah. Now, when you're a family guy to Cleveland? It's a big hotel weekend for me. Yeah. Now, when you're a family guy, like now I'm a new family guy. You've been a family guy for 13 years. I started it. You started it. All my friends, everybody couldn't believe it. I was with Stacy in my early 20s. Yeah.

So you've been a family guy for a long time. Yeah. What a lot of people who aren't family guys, it's very worth it to be a family guy for a long time yeah what a lot of people who aren't family guys it's very worth it to be a family guy not only because it's fulfilling but it also makes things that you take for granted when you're not a family guy yeah incredible yeah it enhances your life because because it makes those little things incredible huge one of those things being when you get a weekend away in a hotel room you can just you can just lay down in that bed like someone shot you with a dart like like the way they put down and i don't know well the thing

is let's get into this okay because here's the thing yannis is my neighbor and one of my favorite things about yannis is when yannis goes down and hees. I've never seen somebody look like a murder victim. He was down. His hands were up like this. It was like if the corner came, like if they said it's the bodies in that room. You actually relaxed like that one time. We were watching the UFC where everything went out,

your arms went back, and you just stayed down. You're a guy that really likes to be down. Greeks know how to relax. Greeks do know how to relax. I thinkks do know how to relax i think there's something to to being like a conquered people i think people who are conquered or enslaved or indentured servitude i think that it's sort of in the culture like when you get your freedom you're like i'm gonna i'm gonna be free i'm not gonna work yeah there's something like subconscious like we just worked against our will for so long,

so now I'm going to fucking chill. So when I get into that position, I don't even think it's conscious. You have that. It's like defiant. It's like I got my freedom. I'm going to use it. That's why you're a type of kid

that'll stroll in 10 minutes late just because. And you're a type of, I mean, you like to fire people. Yeah. I mean, this guy's cleaning lady puts the broom in the wrong place. Her whole staff's out. Dude, that's not me. That's my wife.

Now she's the new cleaning people. She's like, I've had it with these people. They've moved our daughter's curtain. I'm like, why don't you just tell them not to move the curtain? At this point, it's like me with agents. I've gone through all of them. We can't fire these fucking cleaning people. I'm actually on my second lap with agents i've gone through all of them we can't fire these fucking cleaning people i'm actually on my second lap with agents i'm back to apa which i was with dude i have been at every agency i've

never the only one i haven't been is innovative i've never seen anybody with the impatience of you like one thing like you're like you're like me with agents you're like me in a restaurant you're just like one thing happened you're like yeah iists, you're like me in a restaurant. You're just like one thing happens. You're like, yeah, I can't. I'm going to get rid of everybody. Well, you know, yeah. I mean, I made some mistakes early on. Okay.

Did I fire Matt Frost too quick? Yeah. But I mean, these guys are so fucking sensitive. They hold a grudge. Like, what's the big fucking deal? You guys are leeching 10% off our money and you're the one who's upset? You don't have to do anything. You don't got to face any audience.

You don't got to fail over and over again. No real flights for you? I mean, no flights, no work. Yeah. No work. Yeah. What's the work? You make a phone call?

You get a guy who pops off and then you fucking take 10% of his money? And you know what? All the flight is arranged by your assistant? Your fucking life is great. Well, here's the thing. Like, you gotta find the right, once you find the right one and they get you in the right rooms

and you're making the right money, but I think there are people along the way, on the way up, that you're like, dude, I'm giving this person money. You know? Like, no, there are some, listen, you gotta make money

and eat with some of these guys that are great. Let's be honest, though. It's not about, really, the right ones that get you in the right rooms you want to have a great relationship with one and you want one who kind of gets the build and helps you and stuff but you get in the right room you get yourself in the right room but apparently you haven't been in stitches in lancaster i said apparently you haven't been in stitches in lancaster yeah no there are some rooms where you're just like fuck i need a better a better guy. No, but when you start,

I need, somebody's got to do a better job than this. No, there comes a point though where you're just, you, the better rooms want you. So the agent's job is easy.

They're just going like, you know, it's basically, their job is to sell you and you make it easy to sell. They just look at your social numbers. They look at, oh, he's, you know, he's selling tickets and then you're in those rooms. You know, so it's like, I'm just saying like, is to sell you and you make it easy to sell they just look at your social numbers they look at eyes

you know uh he's selling tickets and then you're in those rooms you know so it's like i'm just saying like what are they sensitive about there's a few of them that hold the grudge against me and it's like you know what do you what are you sensitive about how many if you had to guess off the offhand how many guys have you axed is it what's the under, your guys axed me, which was karma for me. But yeah, so Marcus and Andrew axed me. They were like, I don't know if we can really do anything for you. And then Hyenas, that was like when Hyenas was popping off. And Chris's guy was booking it.

Doug Edley, who I was with before that, who wouldn't look me in the eye at parties. I mean, these fucking people. Wait, Frost became a big deal? Well, yeah. He was a good agent back then, too. It was just like, you know what? I was asking too many questions. Yeah.

We were a little early on that era, and I was going like, hmm, wait a second. Why do I got to give you off the gross? But that's also a you thing. That's me. I was at like, hmm, wait a second. Why do I got to give you off the gross? But that's also a you thing. That's me. I was at Giannis' backyard. These poor guys were putting up a jungle gym. And the whole time he's going, what do you think?

Like 10 feet back? I don't think I made a mistake. This is a branch in a way. Remember what I showed you? Yeah, one of the funniest things. So I'm so anal about where the jungle gym goes. Really? Because I want my property so beautiful,

I don't want it to get cut off in a way. So I want to find the most don't want it to get cut off in a way yeah so i want to find the most efficient place for it to be located so it doesn't make the property look smaller and so it's in a good spot so at the beginning i was putting it like right up against my neighbor's property because i wanted it off to the side it was a little close where i wanted it yeah yeah and um so i i wanted it i was so anal about it that I actually called Paul and was like, will you come over just so I can get another set of eyeballs on this? Yeah. I wanted another set of eyeballs on if it was going to be perfect.

Yeah. And I said, I'll be right over. Yeah, he comes over. So when Paul comes over, the guys are doing it, and I'm still deciding. And they don't speak. They don't really. What are they? Typical.

I mean, what are they? Like, yeah, they were like, you know. I like to call them Efficient workers Is what it is I tell you what When it comes to landscaping Or any type of work I'm racist against white people

I just am I'm racist I'll be honest I think I'm racist Against everyone Except Mexicans Any Or South American

Like Latina Yeah Everything Everything It's just like If someone's I'm like White guys

Like you know They give you they want to do emails. They want to do this. They want to give you sales tax quotes. I want to talk to a guy who goes, $3,000. And then you fucking. What time you need? Yeah. Okay, sorry.

And then it's just fucking done, dude. Yeah. Yeah. So Paul comes over. It's the funniest thing. So the guys are like working. First of all, they're putting together a done, dude. Yeah, yeah. So Paul comes over. It's the funniest thing. So the guys are like working. First of all, they're putting together a whole jungle gym. Two of them.

Yeah, this is how the times have changed. Like my grand uncle, my dad could put those things together. My dad used to have a workshop where he would work, and he was a lawyer, but that was back when dads could do shit. Like I'm looking at, imagine me and you had to put that jungle gym together. Oh my God.

We'd still be there today. Backwards, it would be be wrong the slide would be going the wrong way upside down we'd be fucking we'd be unfolding directions going wait a second these guys are just hammering together two guys a big jungle gym yeah hammered so paul walks up the steps these guys are working first thing he goes first thing just as a joke he goes he goes no, you guys are going to have to move it back there. And both guys were looking at him like. Yo, yo, the heads just popped up. The heads popped up. No, no, we're going to do something different.

Yeah, we're going to do something different. We're going to put it back there. Because they were like, what? Because they were like half done. And he's like, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Oh, we were laughing, yeah. Here's another thing that's funny about Paul.

I just don't want to repeat anything. I don't remember what we talked about. Yeah. But it's funny. I'm a big sneakerhead. I've been for years. Oh, we never talked about this. Yeah.

I'm a huge sneakerhead. Me and Jesse, we shot the sneaker keeper, and it was based on something I really believe in that I abide by. My sneaker rules is I got three levels. Yeah. Right? I got my level ones, my level twos, and my level threes. Yeah.

My level ones are like sneakers I rarely wear. And those are the ones I check the weather for. I make sure the weather's good. But when I'm knocking around the house, I'm a croc guy. I got these Adidas-type crocs. And I just slip them on, slip them out. I mean, we're in grass. We're in mud.

We live in the country. This kid comes. He's got no knockarounds he comes around and not only are they not knockarounds fresh you came with all white air force ones almost out of the box yeah to hang out in the backyard um that's like something I don't I don't it's a it's against the law in my life that's like against the law yeah but see I'm the opposite can't see any, you can't see any creases. Like you can't see anything if it's not. Yeah, but you're ruining

the sneaker. You're putting it in jeopardy. You know, yeah. You know the way they say always look your best? It's like a cop going out with a bulletproof vest. There's no knockarounds

with me. I really don't have knockarounds. You have no knockarounds. I come out fresh out of the box. What made you think to put on crisp

Air Force 1s to come over to my house for 40 minutes to look at a jungle gym? I just, you know what it is? I get excited about a fresh pair and I rock those for a while. But I also learned how to walk in that. You got to walk a certain way.

You got to hit your heels. You got to go up and down so you don't get the sides. You ever see me walk on my heels with New Jordans like I shit my pants? Well, Verzi was coming up his driveway. I walk on my heels like I shit my pants. There's video of it. Bartnick and Burr were laughing. I was in Minnesota walking on my heels across the street like I shit my pants.

Actually, Bartnick was in Alabama. He goes, Verzi, what happened to your leg? I go, nothing. These are brand new sneakers. When Verzi walks, he looks like a wounded paintball. Yes. And people want to know. People always say, something wrong with your hip or back.

And I go, no, these are fresh out the box, and I can't crease. You know, I can't crease them. You know, Vladimir Camagno and Damien Lemon did a sketch. Two comics, yeah. Yeah, two comics. Vladimir Camagno and Damien Lemon, they did a sketch called Don't Crease Them. And one of them was walking with a walker. Yeah, I have a really hard time putting on dirty kicks.

Yeah, it's just not something you can do. It's just putting on dirty kicks like when you're about to do something in your day. Plus, I went to help you to look at the jungle gym. But let's say I go, let's say after that, I want to go to the Bobo's Cafe, get a coffee. I go into town. What am I going to wear?

These white girls, I'll tell you what, though, is a trend that I didn't know what's going on. Oh, yeah, they're dirty. And that kid Lev, Lev told me, another comic who's at the stand a lot, he said it's like a trending thing with white, young white women is they like dirty Air Force Ones. It's part of the thing. That's a sin to me.

That's just. That's a fucking sin to me. Yeah, no they they wear sneakers like they were just rescued out of ariel castro's basement it looks like that they just threw those on and that and that's part of like their cool thing part of the cool thing the sneakers represent the men that they're not allowed to like yeah yeah pretty much yeah pretty much yeah no it's the opposite it's the opposite they do the opposite of what someone who loves sneakers does. But I got to give you credit. You influenced me a lot with the sneakers where you said certain things where you're

like, a man can't wear certain sneakers that have plastic and certain things. And another thing, the big one that you said, and you're right. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What do you mean? Like, you know, if there's a pair of Jordans. You're talking about age appropriate, which is what I used to. Age appropriate Jordans. I think I influenced Angela Lozada that way I think I influenced Angelo Lozada that way too,

the late, great Angelo Lozada. Rest his soul, but you're right about that. Yeah, because I used to make fun of him a lot because he got a point like, what was it?

Angelo was, at that time, he was in like his late 40s. Yeah. Right? And then I think he passed. He was in his 50s. So there was a couple times I would see him

and I would make the joke. I'll go, are those kicks Really age appropriate Yeah Did it bother him We would laugh and stuff But you know When someone gets you

It leaves a mark Here's the thing Because then you become Self conscious You go I think he's a little right I can't be walking around In these kangaroos anymore

Yeah And what really got me Was I was wearing A new pair of Jordansans and i saw like a high school girl with them on yeah because i was like oh she went to finish line too yeah she went to footlocker too yeah and it's like there reaches a point where it's like i can't wear the same sneakers that my 10 year old daughter or my 13 year old son's friends have on the same landing in our house when they take them off i can't have that so you do have to like level up

as as the next level even if it means more money which is fine yeah that's one of my other rules so the levels the levels go level one those are the ones you wear wear the rarest like i have i have a pair of tom fords i've worn like three times that's it i got like a i got a high level of sneakers that are rarely seen then i got got the level twos, which are these, which are like during the day, they're pretty clean. And the key to level twos is to have a lot of them. First of all, you got to have a lot of sneakers to platoon them so you can platoon them.

Because if you have just one, they get dirty too quick. I would say I have level twos as well, but I would say that level threes- You came over in a level one. Yeah. I would say for the 90% of the time I wear level ones, I do have twos if I'm running out the door and I grab something. I can't throw on a level one. Yeah. I would say for the 90% of the time I wear a level ones. I do have twos. If I'm running out the door and I grab something, I can't throw on a level three.

Yeah. So level threes are level, used to be level twos. They become level threes because they get to a point where they, like if my sneakers get dirty, I just throw them into the level three category and I can work out with them. Like I never work out in the sneakers that i yeah that's another law i have there's a separation between sneakers i wear that's a death that's the people who fucking wear the sneakers that they work out in they should be shot now that i shot dead well there should be a separate running shoe yeah just for that yeah i

have a whole bunch of workout kicks and then i got the level twos and that's another another one of my big so those are the three levels one two and three and then I got the level twos. And that's another one of my bigs. So those are the three levels, one, two, and three. And then my other big law is the age appropriate. That's what happens. If you look down and you're starting to feel like the sneaker doesn't match your age, and one of the big rules that you mentioned is no plastic on the sneaker. So even my fours, I have a pair of Jordan. I will not wear a pair of Jordan fours,

even though I think they're one of the nicest sneakers of all time because of the plastic mesh and the plastic thing. So I have one pair. What if they're like a custom? There you go. You know I got the pinnacles. So I have the Jordan 4 pinnacles. Are those black or purple?

They're black. Okay. And they got the pony hair. Yeah. And the pony hair offsets it a little bit. The pony hair makes it older. Yeah. And then the buckle part that's usually plastic is metal. Well, I didn't tell you this. I know it it a little bit. The pony hair makes it older. Yeah. And then the buckle part that's usually plastic is metal.

Well, I didn't tell you this. I know it's a little insane, but I stick to those rules. I actually like the rules. I like the rules. You know those pinnacles. You see me wear them. I won't wear level threes. They're fucking fantastic.

When I put those things on, I feel like a superhero. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny it does that, doesn't it? It does. But here's the deal. Something's happening to me Something happened to your friend Paulie

I'm starting to get real classed up I went to the daddy daughter dance And some of these guys are going with their daughters Like they just got off a fucking basketball court I mean it's embarrassing You're going with your daughter It's like a prom This one kid looked like he just got finished

Pumping gas as an attendant Maybe he was at work But some of these guys are walking around You're with your daughter, you're a little girl So last year I didn't love how I was dressed I had dark jeans with shoes I had a black top But I was a little

Because I see guys with suits So I told Stacey, I go this year Just like the fireworks This year, it's going to be big So I get on, full on, full on Nice navy blue suit, yellow tie to match the dress. You went to Banana Republic and got yourself a suit for this? Yeah, I went to Banana Republic.

Target has a new section. So I was looking for a nice pair of wingtips, you know, and I wanted a nice pair of blue shoes with the navy suit. So I go into Brooks Brothers, and they had a pair for like $350. They didn't have my size. They told me another store that had similar, so I went in, got it even for cheaper for like $350. They didn't have my size. They told me another store that had similar. So I went in, got it even for cheaper, like $200. But I put these puppies on and it did something.

It did something with the suit. I mean, the suit's got to be tailored right. When we were growing up, you remember those NBA basketball players in the draft? It looked like they were a clown. It looked like a clown suit. It looked like they were a mascot. But that was the style back then,

was those oversized suits. Jordan would have it, and down past his. But now, you get it almost tapered down. It almost goes tapered down to the ankle with the shoe really showing and the nice jacket. I had the jacket buttoned.

But dude, I looked at these shoes. I kept staring at the shoes, and it was like when I was at your wedding where it hit me. You were just looking at your outfit a lot. I was just looking at it. And my daughter goes, oh, daddy, that's a nice outfit. Look at those shoes.

And I just, it did something. So it was like I wanted to be in a nice car. I wanted to be in a luxury car immediately. Did you go to sleep in that suit that night? No, so I went out. Did you have a hard time taking the suit off? You're going to laugh. Because I know when that happens, when you have a nice suit on at the end of the night,

a few more looks in the mirror before you take it off. No, you're going to laugh. We went to a little after thing with the other dads, and it went on until like 1 in the morning. And they'd go, why is your tie still perfect? I had my tie perfect. And they were like, Paul, can you just undo it? Can you loosen it up?

And I couldn't let it go. I couldn't let it go because it looked too good. I felt good. And, you know, that's like a rookie move to just all of a sudden off and stay in classy the whole night while drinking is a good one. It's a good look. I always loosen the tie. Yeah. I was loosening. I always loosen the tie as the night goes on. You never stayed James Bond the whole night. You gotta stay James Bond the whole night. You stay James Bond the whole night. It does something. It's like a man fucking move, dude. Uh, Brett Ern Brett Ernst. He once said, one of the greatest guys, hilarious comment.

I was just talking to him yesterday. So funny. He said to me, and it stuck with me. He said to me, he goes, I think it was his grandfather used to say, his grandfather used to say, a man needs to take pride in two things. How he looks, his outfit, and his work. And I was like, I like that. Yeah.

I love the fact that he didn't mention his family at all yeah fucking house is on fire but he walks out he's got a nice fucking armani suit on he's like things are good he's one of the funniest i was on the phone this is i'm doing a joke about him he has uh every time i call brett erntz he's he's in one of three places i'm not even joking he's either out he's either on like a date Or he's at a gym Yeah He's in a gym Always Paul I'm at the gym I'm leaving the gym

Always And then I swear to God He called me up I called him up And he goes Hey buddy listen I'm in a parking lot

I can't go right now My guy's here I see headlights Right And I swear to God I go what He said He said

He said my cologne dealer's here I swear to God. He's a real Italian kid. I go, what the fuck did you say? He goes, yo, he got this new Aqua. The Dio just came out. He's like, he goes, I swear to God, two squirts. He goes, it's Aqua with the Gio black.

He goes, it's nuts. He goes, I can hook you up. I can hook you up with him. I go, I swear to God, I was on FaceTime. I go, Greg, you got to be kidding me. You got cologne in your car? He goes, are you kidding me? He goes, I got six.

And he opened his thing up. He started pulling fucking, he started pulling cologne out like we would pull out napkins out of our fucking, I never said they like it. He's pulling out cologne. He goes, yeah, my guy's here. He goes, I got to go. Wait, so he met a cologne guy in the parking lot? Not drugs, not drugs, cologne. He met, he went to go. Wait, so he met a cologne guy in the parking lot? Not drugs. Not drugs.

Cologne. He went to an open parking lot. And he said, my guy's here. He said, I see headlights, my guy's here. And I'm going, you don't do drugs. And I go, you go with the G. He goes, no. He goes, I got the new awkward G on a black market he said

this too squirt you're getting late I mean Italia

kids can't he like the fragrance for him is part of the outfit

yeah the thing about Brett is there's no him going out

without a squirt yeah and it's like part of it like the way me and you

put a watch on and everything. But he's got six of them in his glove box. Yeah, yeah. But he said, he goes, my guy's pulling in. I think we should call him. I want to find out if he walks into the squirt or if he squirts it out. Call him, call him.

Call him. Oh, shit. I said, you don't do drugs Cause Doc's my cologne guy Oh shit dude I'm crying Now he's Brent So there's Doc with the Gio

Is it Giorgio Armani Is that an expensive cologne Is that an expensive fragrance Come on He's got to answer Do you do cologne is that expensive fragrance come on uh he's got to answer uh do you do cologne yeah but not like that yeah I don't do cologne I don't I don't I'll say Yana's trying to call you he might he's probably I know where he I'm telling you he's probably at the gym he's at the gym oh God that's

so funny answer phone funny oh dude yeah when he said that to me, I did a joke on him. I said, I got a friend who's so tight, he's got a. Here we go, here we go. Is that him? Yeah. All right. I just, yeah. Oh man.

How you doing? How you doing, cuz? I'm doing good, cuz. You're on the podcast. You're on my podcast right now. I'm sitting here with Paul. We just... We're crying.

I just finished crying laughing. So he called you. Apparently, he called you one time when you were in the middle of doing something illegal. You were doing some very shady stuff. You were in the middle of a parking lot. You saw your guy, and you were able to score the new Acco Di Gio.

Now, my question is, how did you get it so early, cuz? How could I get hooked up with some Acco Di Gio? I mean, where'd you find your guy? Well, we got the new, okay, well, it depends on which one you want. I got the new Profumo, which is the black bottle. Great night scent. And there's this one that's great. It's called Absolute.

It abs like, you know, like we got. Yeah. And this is a great, this is a nice day scent. It can work. I love you, Brett Brett Wait a second hold on You squirt up When you go to the gym Of course

All jokes aside I'm going to put you both on You got to send me your address I love you Brett So do you Walk it do you spray and walk into it Or do you put it right on the clothes or the neck i mean what's that what does a pro do i put it all over because i don't walk into my

chick light i want everybody to know i'm coming You're telling me you're the type of guy that if I walk in a room and I don't see you, I can't get eyes on you, there's a good chance I'll know you're there just because I can get a little whiff of you. Yeah, like, you know, I want people to go, you know,

from the crowd and be like, God, that guy, he was a good comic, but he smelled amazing. I didn't really get the joke, but God. Is that the new awkward did you hear? So, Brett, you can hear me, right? Of course, Bird. Yeah, I can hear you.

So, would you say the blue bottle or the black bottle is number one? Well, the blue, what do you mean? If we're going out at night, if it's a night on the town, if we're going to go paint the town red, which one are we going with? Yeah, because we're looking at a blue. Well, it depends. Are we going out to dinner or are we going out to like a nightclub? No, we're going out like, you know, we're going out nightclubbing,

trying to look good, maybe trying to impress, you know, like that. All right, well, then I break out the crown jewel. The crown jewel. Yeah, then I'm going with a little Aventus Creed. How you doing? Wait, what's that? Which one's that? Aventus Creed.

Don't worry about that. That's about $500 a bottle. We'll talk about that later. Holy shit. Yo, he's got cologne that looks like tequila bottles. Yeah, well, bring. We'll talk about that later. Holy shit. Yo, he's got cologne that looks like tequila bottles. Yeah, bring it up. Look at that thing. Wow.

You still drink that? Oh, look at how expensive it is. I mean, you telling me you got a bottle of this? Do you keep it in like a lock safe? I mean, is this for the special occasions? What are we talking about? Yeah, I keep it at my safety deposit. I got a big question

you. Now, if you don't know, Brad, he's one of the funniest comics around. Also, he's got a special out right now, right? Cuz, where can I find it? Same thing, man.

Put it on YouTube, bro. We're not, we don't, we don't have the, we're not the big shots with the Netflix, like, like the version. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, so check out his,

his special on Netflix. He's got another one. Yeah, it's called Domesticated Animal. out of here. Yeah, so check out his special on Netflix. He's got another one. Yeah, it's called Domesticated Animal. Domesticated. Yeah, you know, I put it out. I did it in 2018. I put out Principal's Office, and, you know, I think this is the way to go, you know what I mean?

Like the self-distribution model. Absolutely. My cousin. Yo, Brett, real quick, quick though i was telling you honest remember the time i we facetimed and you pulled out how many bottles out of your glove box do you got i got two oh you got two now you had a lot more then well well yeah but i got the two that i keep i use old to geo as a uh as a as an air freshener. No, here's my... People use the cherry bomb or whatever.

I break out old vintage DeGio. Because when I get to your car, it probably smells like a Bloomingdale's, no? Well, you got a nice scent of leather and aqua. So for your special. Whatever I'm wearing. So everything mixes together nice. So sometimes you got to consider where you're going to be

and what scents are already there to figure out if it's going to be a nice mix. Of course. Especially if I'm going to the gym. Everything has to coordinate. So there's certain perfumes that work better. If you work up a sweat, there's certain scents that are better when mixed with sweat. Yeah.

They react to your pheromones. A good friend of mine, my cousin, he works in a lab, so we did some tests. All jokes aside, I really do have a cologne guy. He's the best. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I mean,

Virgie told me it was a real story. He didn't tell it like it was a joke. He said he called you, you were on the phone, and then you were like, all right, listen, I see headlights. He said I see headlights.

All right, here, hold on.. He said, I see headlights. Hold on. You got three guesses to guess the ethnicity of the cologne guy. I'm going to say my three guesses are Italian, Italian, and Italian. No, it's not Italian. No, Albanian? Albanian? Close.

Close. Armenian. Oh, okay, so we're talking. Armenian. Oh, you said Armenian. Armenian? Close. He was Palestinian. Oh, okay. So we're talking. Armenian. Oh, you said Armenian. Armenian? Close. He was Palestinian.

He's Arab. Oh, okay. All right. Great kid. The kid really knows his sense. Now, how did he get into the game? Are there, like, how did, like, is that his world? He sells colognes on the black market? Once he left his country, and he smelled.

Once he left his country any smell once he left his country i can get into this oh shit man no i don't you know what he never revealed his source i just you got it comes out of new york i'll tell you that. You got to pay cash or does he walk around with a... Can you throw it on the Apple Pay? Can you tap phones? How do you pay for... You do cash, bro. Come on. You get a better deal. Yeah, yeah. Last

question, let me ask you. For the special that's on YouTube right now, what did you wear? Why? Was it the last thing you spritzed on before you got on the stage just to give you a little extra boost of confidence because you know the fragrance was strong

if you put it on late? Just take me through the process. What did you do? For that, honestly, for what I'm wearing when I'm on stage there, it's Gucci Guilty. How you doing? What's the thinking behind

that? Why did you choose that one and not the It was the scent that I was into for a while. I kind of moved on. Look, I got I got a fucking If I buy one, I got to get

the opposite, right? So like my eBay San Lorraine, however the hell you say it, the YVL. Oh, yeah. St. Laurent, yeah. Yeah, I got the... St. Lorraine. I got the... Because one bottle's dark.

That's for night. It's called all time. U-L-T-I-M-E Okay hold on I'm writing that down And then you got the blue one It's cologne blue But they spell it fancy

B-L-E-U-E Like blue cheese Now when your guy When your guy comes When your guy from the P-L-A comes over Does he And you want to And you want to

And you want to sample the sniffs, do you sniff off the bottle, or does he spray a little on his wrist and let you smell? Yeah, we know what we're doing. You get a little waft, like a chemistry waft, but I pretty much put the oil in

and I know when it's coming. Right, right, right. So you basically smell it off the bottle. Well, I mean, I know what I'm ordering. Right, because you already got a waft. He's like, I've got the new scent for you. And he tries to spell me on the new scent. Right. Like a novice, somebody who's just, like, if I'm getting into the buying cologne game,

like, is it novice to sniff off the bottle or do I got to put it on a piece of skin? I mean, how do I get an accurate measure of what it's going to be like on me? Should I spritz a little on the wrist or right off the bottle head? You know, first of all, if you're serious about it, you got to pick up a certain type of coffee grind. That really removes the sand out of the nostril. Oh, yeah, look at this. Chanel Blue. Chanel Blue.

Oh, wow. So if you had to pick one, if you had to pick one that's your favorite to tell the people out there, sort of an everydayer. I'm talking, you don't know what that's your favorite to tell the people out there, you know, sort of an everydayer. I'm talking, you don't know what the day is going to bring. You know, you got a little bit of the day planned out, but you also left some open space for anything to happen. Anything goes. Yeah, what's an anything goes fragrance? All right, listen, for real.

I'm really going to hook you guys up. Let me find it. Okay. So to all the listeners out there, go on Amazon, okay? I'm serious. This is not joking, okay? This is not joking. You guys thank me later, okay?

Yeah. Now, I don't even know how to pronounce it. I'm going to assume it says territory, territory, whatever. But it's T as in Tom, E-R-R-I-T-O-I-R-E. When I tell you, I get more compliments off this set. It's $17 a bottle. Wow, this is an everyday. This is an everyday.

This is my go-to. I wear this every day. I go to the gym. I go to the pool. Territory. Yeah, it's a French word, right? Territory, yeah. I don't know what the hell it is, but if you go on Amazon.

We're looking at it right now. I'll send you guys a bottle, bro. This stuff will change your life, for real. Yo, I might start having to take care of my... I took a splash last night of mine. It's a game changer. It's a game changer? Has he influenced you to get some sense?

I have nice ones that I have not gone to, and then since me and and brett have become friends yeah i actually do a couple extra splashes and and i could tell stacy likes it it's strong and then you know if you ever need advice on chains certain types of chains that you need to wear yeah yeah the chain the chain and the perfume that's like peanut butter and jelly no Yeah, the chain and the perfume, that's like peanut butter and jelly, no? Yeah, they go together. They're like Laverne and Shirley.

You're always chain out, right? Over the t-shirt, you never tuck it in, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always. If I got a v-neck, I use the long chain with the crucifix. I got St. Christopher I use when I travel. That's for good luck to St. Christopher? Well, he watches Ory when you travel.

I always wear that out with the V. If I'm wearing the crew, I like the Italian. I got this nice Italian silver I wear like a gentleman. Right. You know, I got a couple of 14-karat gold chains, but I kind of moved out of that stage. What stage are you in now? I do a lot of silver. I still like the Italian silver necklaces.

He's so classy. He showed up. Remember? Brett. I got one of these greens when I'm on stage, and it interrupts my punchlines and everything. It's loud. You got a loud chain. It's loud.

It's loud. Yeah. I bring him on stage And he starts like Heckling me He's a problem He bought me a chain He gets us in fights We'll go to a club

He starts telling people You know who my father is It's all cool And you know He's bad that chain I can't really Yeah He's loud

Yeah That chain's got an ego That chain's got an. He's a he's loud. Yeah That chains got an ego that chains got an ego What was your question verse no I said he's so classy he actually showed up We were both in Connecticut and he showed up. I to a friend's house of mine, and he gave me a chain He came with a rope chain for me. and he gave me a chain he came with a rope chain for me wow you gave him a chain yeah yeah i got him one do you want one yeah i'll buy you one it's celebration of i'd love a chain i'd love a chain cuz i appreciate that oh i hung up on him by accident oh fuck what was that last yeah that was my brother cut i'm sorry about that we got disconnected there bre Brad. I appreciate that very much, guys.

Yeah, man. Absolutely. So, thank you very much, Brad. This was fun. We'll talk to you soon, brother. Later, brother. What's great is they don't know what part is joking and what part's real. Oh, no.

Let me tell you something right now. This is 100% real. It's 100%. Listen, man. Congrats on everything. Verzi, congrats on the special god bless god bless to you too with three kids with three specials love you kid how you doing yeah yeah later guys later between us we got three specials three chains and only one of us has cologne on and i think me and you were going to start easing our way into he was talking about the colognes like

when when a dealer talks about the new weed strand that came in Yeah, he knows it like now. He was ready with info. Yeah, I mean he had names. Yeah, I wasn't bullshit Yeah, yeah, he did he did I'm not joking He did pull out like six and he goes and I go but yeah But then when he said one was an air freshener it killed me Yeah, I mean this just God he's a funny Italian kid he's a kid that really like it like he lives the life of it Yeah, it It's just God he's a funny Italian kid Yeah he's a kid that really Like he lives the life of it Yeah

It's not just Look at him How you doing So he He just recently started Putting clips on his gram And his gram just started Really blowing up

Yeah He's such a funny guy He is But he's like I think he's like He was like He's a little kind of Late to like

The internet game Of like You know starting to put clips up and shit. Because he just started and his gram took off like that. Because he threw up this one funny clip about his gay brother, which was hilarious. I think he got like 60,000 followers in like four days. Yeah, yeah. So his new special's out. His old special was really funny too. Yeah, yeah.

He's got principal's office, domesticated animal. Super funny. Super great dude, super loyal dude. But man, when he was in the parking lot and he said, my guy's here.

And I thought, and I'm thinking like, your guy, you know? And he said, my cologne guy. And he said, this kid's got all the new fragrances. Dude, it was really,

like that's a movie character. That's a scene in a movie. If you were watching a comedy movie and an Italian kid going, my guy's here. And all of a sudden, the bag opens up and it's cologne? I mean, no, no. I was crying when you were telling me comedy movie and an Italian kid going, my guy's here. And then all of a sudden the bag opens up and it's cologne.

I mean, no, no. I was crying when you were telling me that. I was crying. No, it's one of the funniest things ever. Yeah. Go check out Brett Ernst. Oh, God. Yeah.

I mean, Ernst, is that an Italian name? No, no. His father got German. Yeah. So. Oh, she's got a little bit of that in there. His mother is 100% Italian. Oh, there you go.

So he's mostly Italian. He's mostly Italian. He's one of those guys, mostly Italian with the bit of that in there. His mother is 100% Italian. Oh, there you go. So he's mostly Italian. He's mostly Italian. He's one of those guys, mostly Italian with the last name that's not. Yeah, my favorite was when he called St. Laurent St. Lorraine. He'd go, you know, Eve St. Lorraine. I don't know how you pronounce it, but it's a blue bottle. What made me laugh the most is when he goes, what are we doing, though? Are we going out?

Like, what's the situation? He wanted to know specifics. He wanted to know the specifics because a nightclub is different than just going out yeah he squirts at the gym yeah he squirts he'll do a splash at the gym which is really fun he's always got the chain out he's always a chain out guy one time he saw a picture of me because he knows i have the chain yeah and one time he saw a picture of me with like a t-shirt a black t-shirt and the chain wasn't down and he goes he goes what the fuck how come it's not out he hit me up and he goes, why are you wearing a chain? Why would you wear it if it's not out? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm telling you, when I got my chain, I kind of got what you said, that it kind of completes you. There's something about it that kind of completes you. You have to. Yeah. There's something about it. It makes like an ordinary, like when I realized that too when I was on vacation with my wife. We were in Florida. And, you know, a chain in Florida, that's like wearing a three-piece suit.

That's like fancy, right? Because it does make a t-shirt fancier. Like if you're wearing just a normal t-shirt and then you pull the chain out, it's like you have a nighttime outfit on. 100%. You know what I mean? It makes a difference. When you see a sparkle over a shiny metal over the t-shirt you're not in a t-shirt

anymore you're in like you're in a go it's a different it's a different feel yeah it's exactly what it's like you could be wearing the same outfit all day and just it's a hot day and you're walking around like shorts and a t-shirt and then dinner time comes and you just go like that i'll tell you what and you're ready for dinner a clean crisp pair, jeans, and a black t-shirt with the chain. It's a go-out outfit. It's a go-out outfit. It's a go-out outfit. Now, I'm not a gaudy guy, so this is as big as I would go.

I would only go right here. He just texted. He loved it. Yeah. I would go right here. This is as far as I'd go. Your dad would call this chicken wire, no? That's chicken wire.

He would go, this is- He would go, why even do that? How does he bring that up? He goes- You know it's funny My approaches in a very my son Lucas has the jewelry bug to wear like he loves sports and he loves that stuff But he he's watching YouTube clips of guys that are flashy and gaudy So now as much as he wants to buy a basketball

She he wants to get what goes with if you're successful in that Yeah And my dad would is like would be thrilled with that like thrilled to know that right my dad can talk to if you're successful in that and my dad would be thrilled with that. Like thrilled to know that. Right. Because my dad can talk to, if you started, I'm not joking,

I'm not even trying to be funny. If you started talking to my father about watches, it would be like, he couldn't have a better, it would bring him so much joy to talk to you about a watch. Yeah.

Because my dad's got like 90 of them. Yeah. Now Jesse, you're Italian, you never went the chain route. When I was younger. You did have a chain. Like around 17.

I remember you had a chain. Look at that. Look at that, dude. Look at that in the middle. Go up one, like scroll a little more. No, the other route. When I was younger. You did have a chain. Like around 17. I remember you had a chain. Look at that. Look at that, dude. Look at that in the middle. Go up one. Scroll a little more. No, the other way. Which way?

Yeah, yes. Right there. Look at that, dude. Yeah. That just, look at that. With the white t-shirt, dude. It does look good. It just looks, you can't deny that look.

No, it does look good. You know what that really looks good in? Yeah. Like a beautiful Lexus? Yeah. Like a new car? Yeah. Just a nice car, like behind a wheel, your hand on a wheel? Now, here like a new car yeah just just a nice car like

behind a wheel your hand on a wheel now here's the thing a chain is a strong choice it's a strong choice you pull the chain out you're saying there's a 50 chance i don't have a ba no see i think ring i think a ring is way more bold of a choice a ring is a chain is more common a lot of people look jared's got a chain. You don't have a chain on. You have a chain. I have a chain. Three out of four of us have some sort of chain.

Yeah. I mean, we have wedding rings. I like how you're sneaking yours out. I've actually seen you do that, sneak it out of the sweatshirt. It's hard with a hoodie. You just got to loop it out. Yeah, we just loop it out. Yeah.

You got to. But like, yeah, no, it's like a ring is a is a real pinky ring is what's the stronger statement than a pinky ring no that's that's worse that's even stronger that's no ba no yeah if you have to chain out you're going 50 chance i got a ba 50 chance i don't you got a ring on you're going 100 chance i'm not an honest guy it 100% chance I do some type of crime. Yeah, and I'm within 19 miles of East Rutherford, New Jersey. Yeah.

I mean, a pinky ring says a lot about somebody. Yeah, it's an Italian thing. A pinky ring is an Italian. It's as Italian as pizza. You don't see just a normal another guy who's not italian wearing see what my dad does my dad would do bracelets too gold gold bracelets yeah with the matching

so he goes all matching i mean he would go my dad had a rope that was like that thick once and an emblem and the and the rings and the my dad had a ring my dad has a ring that has a real green so it's a it's a gold pinky ring with a real green like emerald in it yeah you know for expensive yeah yeah no the ethnic ethnic kids blacks they love jewelry i mean that's yeah you stop at the ring though i know i can't do the right nobody loves jewelry more than blacks and italians i would agree with that anytime you go to a jewelry store, you know what the funny thing is about jewelry? It's really where you can see just like a Jewish owner have a wall full of athletes. Yeah, and Italians.

And Italians, yeah. Matter of fact, where my dad showed me to get the diamond wedding ring, you know who else was on the wall? Steve Harvey? Steve Harvey was on the wall. Chris Rock was on the wall yeah and a couple of other people were on the wall maybe maybe tupac rest his soul might have been in there yeah and then it's and then my dad yeah you know and a bunch of italians so but um i noticed this black culture and italian culture

they like each other's style they like the swag they like it a little more right jire would you you agree as a black man you would see the italian you would you kind of well i feel like the swag. They like it a little more, right? Jairo, would you agree? As a black man, you would see the Italian, you would, you kind of- Well, I feel like the Italians like the blacks- Well, rappers would always rap about mob shit, right? Yeah. All the Italian kids

in my high school wear true religion jeans. Yeah. I feel like the Italians like the black style and then the blacks like the Italian, like, gangster, mafia shit.

Yeah, they like that. Well, all the rappers would, all the rappers growing up in the 90s would always reference, remember Biggie, Frank White was an alias of a rapper, I mean of a gangster. What do you think Steve Jobs, rest his soul, right? What if he threw a chain on that fucking mock neck? That would have changed the whole game, dog.

If he came out to present the new iPhone and he had a wire on yeah i mean that would be a different vibe yeah neck would break because he wouldn't have the muscles on his neck to support it that's true reminded me of like burr bill burr had a joke where he said if einstein came out with a southern accent that would be fun how y'all doing so he equals mc square yeah like like if you saw a guy like Steve Jobs come out with like a gaudy chain Something about his speech

About the new iPhone would lack Because you'd be like I don't know This thing may have some kinks in it He should be giving me this speech In the parking lot Where I'm picking up cologne from him I mean yeah some of the black rappers In the 80s,

like we're looking at Slick Rick, like really overdid it. It got to the point where like, how do you even walk around with that many chains? Remember Mr. T had like 20 of them on? Yeah. But I get how that happens. You put one on and you fall in love with it so much,

you just want to add more onto it. After Tracy Morgan had the accident, look at his, look at Tracy. Tracy Morgan's got a rope that it's ridiculous. more onto it after after tracy morgan had the accident look at his look at trace tracy morgan's got a rope that it's it's my it's it's ridiculous it's actually it was used at madison square garden with the rope and it's just the biggest can you put yeah that one i mean it's and he's like he rocks it at the garden yeah i mean i mean i mean that looks i mean that thing looks like you could pull an 18 yeah it looks like he's actually carrying looks like he could pull an 18-wheeler. Yeah, it looks like he's actually carrying material to a job site.

It looks like he's training for a fight. It really does look like. It looks like he's working out with The Rock. Yeah, I mean, that's just. And you know that that's real. Yeah, of course. I mean, that's real gold. Yeah, that was paid for by Walmart.

He has a Bavarian pretzel around his neck. Look at that thing, dude. I mean, that thing with the scorpion. I mean, I bet you I'm saying 1.5 on just that. Probably, yeah. Probably. It's so funny how- Now, but see, now the middle one.

Go to that one, Jesse. Yeah, that one. See, that one I kind of get. I mean, without the, you know, I'm not a big guy that has an emblem guy, but that rope- That size. That size would be my limit. I don't like the chain to hang low like that, though. You don't like it too low.

It looks too much like a necklace. Yeah, yeah. It looks too little. And it's a little too long. That size would be my limit. I don't like the chain to hang low like that, though. You don't like it too low. It looks too much like a necklace. Yeah, yeah. And it's a little too long. A little too long, yeah. It looks like some saggy titties. I don't want that. Yeah.

What's your thickness? This is as thick as I'll go. You won't go thicker than that? I won't go thicker than this. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's not my personality. I'm like, I'm not. Yeah, yeah. It's not, you know.

That suits you good. This is perfect. I think intelligence levels match the chain width. You fucking said that as I pulled this up. This isn't too big. No, that's perfect. I think they match our personalities too. Like, you're a little louder.

Yeah, a little, yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean? I go a little flashier. A little flashier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The sizes measure personalities. Yeah, yeah. The bigger it is, the more probability that there is for little flashier. A little flashier. The sizes measure personalities. Yeah. The bigger it is, the more probability that there is for tax evasion.

And here you go. This matches my point. I barely got a BA, but I got a BA. So 50% yes. Yeah. I dropped out. You dropped out, so you changed a little thicker. I dropped out.

Brett Urst, without a doubt, it's a 50% chance yes or no. Did he get a BA? Well, Brett was like a big college football player in Florida, but I don't know. Yeah, he was. But I don't know big. Like the kid was a defensive back. The kid's athletic. Yeah, he was a fucking cut kid.

He also had like a model face. I love when I meet guys who had a model face and you look at their old model photos. I mean, you ever see him post on his Instagram? He said one of the funniest things I ever ever one of the funniest things i was crying laughing where he was talking and he said he got into it with a guy and the guy go and he goes well why are you upset what are you what are you insulted by and the guy started saying something and they were going back and forth and brett just goes how about i swear i said he told me last night he goes how about we just skip this and i just start smacking you how about and i go you literally said let's cut out the middleman so I can just start smacking you.

He goes, yeah, because we were getting nowhere. But then you look at him and he's like. Yeah, he's a big kid. Yeah. He's a big athletic kid. Used to be a football player. One of my favorite people. I loved him the minute we first hung out.

Yeah. He's just a great dude and extremely funny. Oh, so funny. I'd say one of those like underrated comics. So funny. Who if you went and saw him live, he just crush funny. Oh, so funny. I'd say one of those underrated comics. So funny. Who if you went and saw him live, he just crushes. Oh, he's great. Now he's got his stuff on the internet and it immediately blew up.

It's blowing up so fast. It's hilarious. And it's weird because he's on Cobra Kai. He's got Cobra Kai season five coming up. That's somewhere where you would know him from is Cobra Kai. Yeah, he plays Cousin Louie. Cousin Louie on Cobra Kai. Italian kids are just,

here's the thing, Italian kids just need things a certain way to live and it's just in them. It's style. Italians, it's style. They like marble. They like marble,

but food is important. Food, everything. Appearance is important. Lifestyle. Lifestyle, for sure. That thing that, one of the greatest things, and this is why to me,

Eddie Murphy, he doesn't have the biggest body of work, but Eddie is the, when Eddie said that about the Italian with the girl, he goes, don't you ever disrespect me. Don't you ever fucking, I'll put this glass here. That's how, it's like you can never, don't ever get one up on me.

Yeah. You know, don't ever make me look like, what am I, an asshole? Yeah, it's funny how different ethnicities do have, I'll say this about stereotypes. Look at Brad. Stereotypes are more correct than polls. I'd say there's more truth to stereotypes than there are polls.

You know what I'm saying? Like, stereotypes don't come out of the sky. They don't fall from the sky. Like wasps. You're never going to see a wasp with like a loud chain yeah you know they're very understated people italians very loud they like fucking freestyle music they like fucking dancing like this they like taking their shirt off they like wearing a chain yeah greek guys you're usually gonna find a little paranoia black guys you know the love

loud music they love fucking flashy shit they love chains yeah you know it's loud music. They love fucking flashy shit. They love chains. You know, it's... Asians love to gamble. Asians love to gamble. You go to the fucking casino. What am I not supposed to see? There's Asians everywhere. If you go to a casino, there's something.

Asians love... My brother's, one of my brother's close friends from Boston University, Asian kid, kid just loves to be in a casino. They love to gamble. If you got a thousand people

of the culture, I bet you, chances are the number in the favor of the stereotype is gonna be greater a casino. They love to gamble. If you got a thousand people of the culture, I bet you, chances are, the number in the favor of the stereotype is going to be greater than not. Stereotypes, yeah,

there's always a kernel of truth behind stereotypes. There's a kernel of truth. Now, your dad, your new special, which is coming out on Netflix, it's out right now

when you're watching this. It's only been out a couple days, so you go right now, sit down, make a night out of it, sit down with the wife, sit down with right now, sit down, make a night out of it, sit down with the wife, sit down with the husband, sit down with the family, throw it on the big screen. And you'll hear some stuff about my Italian father. It's called Nocturnal Admissions, and I talk about him a lot in it.

That's what I was saying. So your dad is Sicilian on steroids, and this special has a lot about your dad, right? You finally started talking, making some jokes about your dad and how funny he is. This is a lot about your dad right you finally like start talking making some jokes about your dad yeah and how funny he is this is this is a lot of i love how jesse's doing production while yeah while we're doing this he just did a screenshot to put it later was that distracting no it's funny um yeah i talked about my dad like this is the first one where like i kind of just talked about the divorce what me and my older older brother Christian kind of went through at ages five and ten, how my dad is, what my dad was like, especially to us at those young ages. So what we were seeing at that young age, but so much of a character that I grew up with as a father. A pinky ring kind of guy.

I also didn't grow up with him like the way you would normally grow up with a father because, you know, the courts in the 80s gave my dad what? We had eight hours on sunday and three hours on wednesday so we had all day sunday and dinner wednesday and then that's it and the funny thing is like often often divorces happen it's the father leaving a lot of times i think the majority would be the father initiates the divorce you know i don't know those numbers but yeah i mean maybe we should look that up but i think a lot of the time it's the father but what's funny what you talk about in your special is how your dad didn't want the divorce no my dad my dad because appearances well my dad he's like we don't do that you guys you guys can you know if anybody saw the trailer of this thing that's what that's the joke that's

in the trailer is like my dad's sicilian Catholic dude Divorce didn't happen for them And in the 80s it really didn't happen a lot Now it's commonplace Now people get divorced 50% Early 80s, 1982 You told people you were getting divorced It was kind of like a hush thing It was almost like an abortion

Where you're just like hey don't tell anybody Well I was completely wrong about that According to the BBC Why women file for divorce more than men. Is this America, though, or... Right here. I would think it would be women. In the US.

I would think men would stay in something. Wait, go down, Jess. So, according to the BBC, in the US specifically, no-fault divorce is legal in 50 states. Estimate 70%. Wow. Some estimates put. Estimate 70%. Wow. Some estimates put the figure at 70%. Women petitioned.

No, 70% that there's divorce. Oh, okay. This rises to staggering 90% when women are college educated. What? So college educated women are getting divorced 90% of the time. I'm telling you it's not good to let these bitches read. getting divorced 90% of the time. I'm telling you it's not good to let these bitches read.

In the UK, women petitioned for 62% of divorces. So I was absolutely wrong about that. When you said it, I was thinking women could- That's so crazy because they always yell at us. Yeah, but women won't stay in shit like a man would. You know the way we don't want headaches? We don't want that fucking headache. But I'm surprised that women, because they lose so much value like a used

car after they've been married. Well, it depends how many kids. You know, that's really like, once you drive it off the lot, I'd want to stay. No, what it probably... What it really probably means is that men are the ones fucking up more, and then the women want out.

But, you know, it's funny. I also read a statistic that, like, 50% of women in marriages cheat, too. They just don't get caught. So I don't think this is a real... I don't know if you could even look at these stats and blame one gender over the other. You know, I don't know. But it is interesting.

I would have thought it was opposite. I guess I'm wrong. Well, according to this article, that's my point about stats. You never know. I remember during the election, they were telling us the whole fucking time Hillary's going to win by a landslide. She lost. All the stats were saying Golden State Warriors had no shot to win the championship.

So you can't. I mean, I rely more on a stereotype than I will on a pole. You know what I mean? The stereotypes that women like feelings more. Usually true. That they don't know what they want for

dinner. Usually true. That's a big one. But I think that's why they get out first. A man won't get out. It takes a lot for a man to throw his hands up and go. Yeah, because we're good people. I think my dad wanted to leave my mom early. He stayed for the kids.

I'm sure some women do that too, but yeah. Marriage is a tough thing. Now, do you talk about marriage a lot in the special coming up? Yeah, I talk about one of our biggest fights is the food thing. I talk about how my wife is an early person, can't let the day go to waste. Right. And I'm a guy that wants to stay down. I said, just get me to 9.30, 10.

I'm not asking much. Right. 9.30, 10. I work at night. Right. You know what I mean? I work at night. Sometimes I'm in the city till 1.

I get home 1.30, 2. Let the kids stay down. Because if you let me stay down till 9.30, 10.30, then I'll fucking be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Let's go. Right. She comes in. She starts moving stuff. Right, right.

So I hear it. Right, right, right. You know what he wants? Well, part of the reason you want the 9.30, 10.00 is because you're probably up to 3.00, 4.00. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's part of being a comic is we're up to 2.00, 3.00, 4.00. You can't walk in the house at 1.30 and go right to bed.

Yeah. My wife doesn't. It's like I'm trying to explain that to you every day. Yeah. My wife, I'm trying to explain that to her. I'm going like, yeah, because I have the same thing. And you know, they do it passive-aggressively. They just start making a lot of noise.

Yeah. There's some banging. Yeah. You know, the kids want to do something today. Yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, well. Yeah, she lets my daughter like scratch on the door. Yeah.

It just starts early. Yeah. You know, it's like. Being married is this. You chose, it's like my first, it's like my first scratch on the door. Yeah. It just starts early. Yeah. It's like being married is this. You chose. It's like my first. It's like my first special. The joke.

It's it was a stranger that you connected with. Yeah. That just runs every like you have kids with. And it's just you. They just run everything. Yeah. Yeah. Every decision is run by them.

Yeah. You ever have your wife march off, march past you, mad, go to the bathroom and slam the door. Yeah. You chose that. That's not even your family. Yeah. It's not even your blood.

And that's in your house. You're dealing with that. It's like we were on. We were in fucking Wendy's fucking 15 years ago. Having's not even your family. It's not even your blood, and that's in your house. You're dealing with that. It's like we were at fucking Wendy's fucking 15 years ago. Having a great time. Now you just fucking threw something at me, and I'm sitting here going, oh, my fucking weekend's done. Yeah, yeah. You have to see the sense of humor of it because it is hilarious, and it is all worth it. Having a family is great.

Being married is great. It's all great, but you have to see the sense of humor because it's not easy. Marriage is not an easy thing. I think I would say that a lot of divorce is because one person in the party is extremely selfish. Selfishness is a very big part of it because one person is not willing to meet halfway. One person is not willing. willing to meet halfway. One person is not willing. One person is so selfish that any sacrifice they have to do because of you is not something they're willing to do. And it makes the other person go, oh, well, you're not in this the way I'm in this. Right? That's really what it comes down to.

I agree. Selfish people. And a lot of times people, sometimes they could be selfish. They don't want to have a kid because they don't want anything coming off of them. Then the other person starts to resent it. And there have been a lot of marriages where they agreed no kids but the woman wanted kids or maybe the man wanted kids and then later you get resentful because you're like oh you're fucking you don't want kids because you're fucking selfish and it's all about you and people leave that it all becomes down to really selfish and and even i think underneath that on a more like biological level it's what makes i think what makes humans have humor in comedy is we're able to understand

the irony of things we're able to understand the bigger picture you know meaning you know we can achieve things and be ambitious and at the same time know simultaneously that it's all for nothing that's funny that you die at the end that's funny right you either have like because other animals aren't aware they don't go other animals don't hey man, I want to get four specials. I want to be one of the best comics. And then somebody goes to the animal, and then what? And then the animal goes, what do you mean? They don't have the awareness to go, oh, then you die.

That's hilarious. Either you're going to have a tragic outlook on that or a comedic outlook on that. That's something the ancient Greeks knew, is like things are either tragic or, in its heightened state, things are either comedic or tragic. And oftentimes it's the perspective you put on it. You're looking at the same thing. You're having the same awareness about something, but you're looking at it,

your perspective chooses to be comedic or tragic. So when it comes to marriage, we have these simultaneous opposites happening at the same time which makes it funny or tragic my point being we are not designed men are not designed for marriage okay we're designed by nature to spread the seed that's that like all living things to propagate the species that's the only instruction we have right it. It's coded in our DNA. Well, that's built in. It's built in. Yeah.

And it's the biggest tug. It's the biggest tug. Now, women have, they're designed by nature, don't get mad at me, feminists, to nurture a child. They have to carry it for nine months. It destroys their body. You know, it's like that's how they're designed,

for better or worse. Yeah. So we're both designed for these different things. And we also know that marriage is a good thing to raise a kid it really is yeah this whole like fucking yeah non-marriage movement is like yeah it's you can't build okay marriage may be ridiculous okay what's his fucking name the guy from fucking hbo i'm just blanking on it because i'm fucking me bill maher i get it okay it's all fucking name? The guy from fucking HBO. I'm just blanking on it because I'm fucking me. Bill Maher, I get it, okay? It's all fucking ridiculous, all you fucking,

it's like, but it's necessary. But the structure builds better people. You need it, it builds a society. You can't have a bunch of fucking 18 year olds dictating policy and you can't have a bunch of fucking single old 80 year olds dictating policy. It's like we gotta keep the species here and the way you keep the species here

is through families. Of course. And you need a family because you need help raising a kid. And family structure and raising good human beings is that foundation. You need that foundation.

You need the foundation. Yeah, you can't. So you have those two things happening at the same time. You have these urges that we're born with and then we're forced into this institution that is actually good for us good for the kids

good for us I mean what are you doing you're 45 you're single what the fuck are you doing yeah really it's weird well that's what I took that's what I tell any of my friends that were in relationships that were afraid to get married I go where the fuck are you going yeah what are you doing yeah what are you gonna do cuz pretty soon you're 50 yeah you're gonna stay in a fucking studio or one bedroom in Nework running around doing fucking you know 25 spots yeah no and fucking looking around and go hey man i'm not tied down no but you're in a fucking shithole in greenwich village with no life yeah you're old it's weird it's fucking really weird it's it's fucking sad you know

what's hilarious though is when you were saying that like we're coded and and we do one thing and we're coded one way and then we want to spread the seed yeah and women are another way it's funny how animals don't have a so like if you or i or even our wives were in like a supermarket and somebody really attractive walked by and you go like that right the other person gets mad animals the lion doesn't have to fucking deal with that you know our habitat happened to be stopping shop this kid's just out in the wilderness when When you kick a man at me, I'm trying to buy a box of cereal. This thing walked by. Yeah, no.

Male lions don't get nagged on the Serengeti. There's never no lioness going like, why are you looking at her? It's like, you're lucky I'm not eating your kids. You're lucky I'm not eating your kids. That's so true, man. The environment you're in. So that's the thing. That's what separates us from the other animals is that we have this awareness.

Because the funny thing is we have the same instincts as the animals to propagate, to evolve, to dominate. We have all the same, but we also have this big brain where we can project to the future. We have awareness. We can see the bigger picture. We can get a helicopter view. And that helicopter view being like, hey, marriage is good for a society it's good for the family it's good for your kids but we're in this thing we're getting into a thing that is the opposite of what our instincts are telling us it wants yeah so that creates comedy or tragedy yep so it's like it's

gonna be one or the other if you want your marriage to work You better try to find the humor in it Because otherwise it's going to be tragic It's not going to be neither It's going to be one or the other There's no marriage that's just neither It's either you find the humor in it Or you're going to get divorced There are some times where me and Stacy will fight

And then we'll just start laughing And we'll just be like alright You know what you were this or you were that And a big one and women don't do it as much i don't think i don't think i think men do it more but i think we apologize more i know i apologize more to my wife right you know i she's apologized a couple times but there are certain times where you gotta go well your wife's a strong yeah my wife's strong my wife is strong and my wife is is she's steadfast yeah you know like know, like my wife is the reason why I'm like, you know what? There are some women who should be president.

Yeah, yeah. You know, because they just would run a tight, you know, a fucking tight ship. They treat everybody the same. They're good. But she's strong, you know? But there are some times when I push back on that. You have to. And I'm like, look, there are certain things.

How important do you think the pushback is? But what I've learned is, And I'm doing a joke about this In my next hour Is you gotta know When to pick them Okay Like there's certain hills You shouldn't die on

Where I would I would try to In my earlier In my 20s and 30s I would take the fight Yeah Where now I'm going Why this?

Not here Right There's certain ones You gotta roll up your sleeves Right Certain ones Which ones are those? If you're having a late night

You're drinking a couple too many. You know what it is? No, no, no. No, no, no. Not that. That I'll actually, that I'll let time go by. The ones where you got to roll up. But I've noticed you, if you're saucing.

Yeah. If you're simmering. Yeah. If you're taking Trulies to the gullet. Yeah. And she says you got to get up in the morning or whatever. You never budge on that. You go all the way.

You finish. You finish what you start. No, no. That is something. I've never seen you go, you know what? You're right. I'm going to stop drinking now. That's one thing you don't do.

Oh, no. When I turn the gas on, I'm not compromising that. But what I'm saying is I'm talking about not a fight like that. I'm talking about when it's time to roll up your sleeves and really go like this may be a blowout where we don't talk for a few days it's when i'm truly right right right when i'm truly right interesting now i've talked to some people that said apologize even when you're right right that's still something i'm working on yeah but if it's a if it's a vicious fight like she said some really really she said some shit then i said some shit

but i know in my heart of hearts 100 i'm right the sleeves go up right the sleeves go up the head goes down and i run you know you're right i run into a minefield right i run into the mind you don't stay you stick to it i just i run into the minefield and whatever even if you knew you were right but you did something because like your action was bad you know what i'm saying like principle the principle was right no no what you did was bad would you still not apologize no no that that's not i'm talking about what i'm talking about is rolling up the sleeves when she's dead to rights the whole way right okay johnny depp style right so that's what johnny depp did johnny depp rolled up his sleeves and said

this is you put my name through the mud my children children thought that I hid her. There were pictures of her with fake. You did that, so now I'm willing to even humiliate myself with my actions because of that. He went all the way, even his money, everything. He let people that he loved know that he drank and did coke and he did all those things, but he was willing to do that because it was so wrong on the other side. That's when I'll say it's on. That's when you turn Johnny Depp. That's when you'll say it's on right that's when you turn johnny depp that's when you go johnny depp on him when you go when you know you're 100 right you go

johnny depp meaning whatever it takes yeah even if it kills you in the process you got to win that fight yeah or like if she says something like why don't you be like you know your kids are they why don't you be or something like that that's really and i didn't do it yeah or i'm right i can't that's that's when i go yeah yeah that's when i go you let her know but what sucks about marriage is even when you let him when you let him fly when you let when you really let it go you're you're gonna not they're not gonna talk to you yeah so you're still dead I mean the good thing is she knows you have some sort of dignity and pride and you're gonna fight for yourself but you're still losing because she's not gonna talk to you for two days they're not gonna talk to you for two days you know they're never going to walk in and go dude you got me i fucked up man sorry that's on me

well you know pull the trousers down and i'll fucking hook it up that's not happening yeah the blowjobs take a hit when you're married i mean the you know you got a better chance of fucking of the pope delivering the next pie right now than taking the trousers down and catching a beach the beaches take a hit i mean especially like their initiation of it yeah no that's never gonna happen i mean that's never gonna happen hey why don't you unzip the pants and let me take it down i mean you'll never hear that no yeah you got a better chance to take a ufo ride today i mean that's just yeah yeah yeah no marriage marriage and family

is an endless source of material here's getting a blowjob as a married man yeah this is what you do you're laying there you just look at you

no yeah and then it's you know yeah and they don't they give you like it's like half of one they never fit like I don't remember

the last time I got one that was fully finished you know they're concerned about hair it's just They never fit. I don't remember the last time I got one that was fully finished. They're concerned about hair. It's a totally different thing. Yeah, and a lot of marriage is not sexual. That's another thing people make a big mistake about. It's like if you're into someone sexually,

you shouldn't consider that for the marriage because marriage is a different thing. Marriages, you know what marriage is, dude? Marriage is a business. You have a business partner that you love, that you're raising these kids with, but you obviously have to have physical attraction and do all that stuff too. But marriage is like in a good way of business. I don't mean, I don't mean, I don't mean in a corporate way. I mean like- Your family's like a business and you're running it together. You're running it together and you're raising your kids together, you know. But you do got to keep the physical stuff.

You do. Big thing to do, man, I'll tell anybody is you got to do date night, man. Even if it's once every two weeks, you got to go out, sit down. Me and her got to get into that because when we started doing that, it was amazing. You know, and then you get busy and stuff. But you go out, you get a bottle of wine, nice restaurant, and you talk and you go back to dating the way it was, you know, when it, at the beginning. You said that's like a quarterback taking his offensive line out.

It's a quarterback taking his offensive line out. You know, that's who protects you. You got to do it. Yeah. That's a good analogy, right? That's what it is. Sometimes you just, you got to protect the people that are, you know, you got to do that. So.

Yeah. Yeah. So what do you, what do you feel like, uh, is it raising kids now? Your kids are teenagers now. Yeah. It's wild. In this climate. What do you, what do you, like? Is it raising kids now? Your kids are teenagers now. Yeah, it's wild. In this climate, it's like... Talk to us. Yeah.

Talk to us. Because there's so much available. Because they can look on their phone. They can easily grow up quicker than you want them to. Yeah. They may have to deal with a drag queen ABC hour. You never know what's going to happen. You know, I saw there was a... You're like, what happened today at school? It's like, oh, I don't know. have to deal with a drag queen uh abc hour you never know what's gonna happen you know i saw

you know you're like what happened today at school it's like oh i don't know uh mrs stan came in and did a did a fucking nightclub routine for us there's a video that's viral that's going on on tiktok and it's like you know women taking a banana and doing whatever with the banana and i fucking saw it on tiktok and i'm like guys, guys, this is not, I don't know what, you know, you guys are 10 and 13. You're not looking at shit like that. And,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and we'll take the apps away. But like me and, you know, me more than Stace, Stacey's like, watch what you say. But I'm just like,

look, man, your teachers doesn't know. Like your teacher, your teacher's opinion of what society is, is might be their agenda. Right. Right.

Right. So you, you tell that to them yeah yeah yeah i'm like listen you could tell me what your teacher said right and if your teacher had a point i'll tell you but you got to think for yourself you know because they would come off the bus and they would say this president is this then they and this president is that oh well who'd you hear that from well i heard so and so say it to so and so and i'm like what do you but why do you know i don't know that's what they said it's like yeah so talk to us and we'll tell you why they would say that and you really know so I think that um my children have a good understanding that like what they hear in

the media and what they're getting in school is not always the real story and that you know and I saw my son get it too you know like my son was coming and he was telling me things and he was like I don't know they were saying it so know, because sometimes they hear the kids aren't stupid when there's something so one sided. My kids are smart enough to go. Why is everybody one way? And I want that. Why is everybody this way? Yeah.

And Lucas will ask my son. Everybody was saying this was and me and, you know, and Stacy will say our opinion. But I said, don't always go the way everybody goes. And I think they know that you have to. Yeah. You have to be really aware or the kids are going to private school. And I think they know that. You have to. You have to be really aware. Or the kids are going to private school. The kids are going to private school.

It's great. So listen, guys. Check out Nocturnal Admissions. Thank you for having me, man. Oh, come on. Of course. Netflix right now. Go watch it.

Make a night out of it. Sit down with the family and watch it. It's hilarious. Paul's one of the funniest guys in the country. And follow him, Paul Verzi, on all social media. And enjoy that special. Watch it. It's hilarious. Paul's one of the funniest guys in the country. And follow him, Paul Verzi, on all social media. And enjoy that special. Thank you so much, guys.

I appreciate it. And if you guys are in San Diego, I'll be at American Comedy Company June 30th to July 2nd. Yeah, all dates. Go to paulverzi.com. Yep. Guys, support all our small business shout-outs, man. You drink water, so drink what Jared's drinking right now. Freaking cold spring water, guy. Go to freaking

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Conservation of the planet. These guys are saving the planet. They're saving the world. They're the best. They're doing everything. Southern Californians, there aren't any plastic bottles allowed or any beaches. So if you want to go to the beach, they don't allow plastic. You know what a solution is?

Freaking cold spring water. Just get this stuff. It's also good to pee in if you're in the car you're sitting in traffic and you need something to pee in you can pee in that i've actually done that before you've peed in one of those yeah so you know they're good you can fuck them you can do whatever you want with them put your dick in them but they're good for drinking water it's the water company when it comes to premium water. Very simple. Brooklyn Cannery. Now, I had one last night. I was going to bring some, but I'm out. We got to order some for the studio. Brooklyn Cannery. Guys, just get this soda. All right. Get a whole case. 15% off your order if you put the word Giannis Pappas in the promo code, brooklyncannery.com.

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not an old soul you just got to lay in the cut you know you're a smart guy yeah for a fucking theater major you've done okay you gotta talk when it's meaningful for you to talk can't just yap off at the mouth i like that that's how you get drewed that's how you get drewed is exactly right what do i want to do i don't know what i want to do maybe you want to do comedy guess what i'm not here to figure out what you want to do. You're here to fucking do a job for me. Love the kid. Great kid. Longshorecoffee.com.

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you're on you're on buddy you didn't read the second half the second half if it works in the future you utilize me whenever you're planning a tour

and we discuss my rates you're on if it works it works if it doesn't work you put me on blast in the podcast and Tim Dillon I know you're fucking listening so once this campaign with Yanni works out I doesn't work you put me on blast in the podcast and tim dylan i know you're fucking

listening so once this campaign with yanni works out i'm coming for you hey i like his aggressiveness he's aggressive when the tour gets set when when my dates start rolling in for fall we will use you and if you're not me go use nate linder.com um i guess now nobody's used him so he's just going to his last but this is great awareness for your brain. Where can they follow you on Instagram, dog? Nate Linder, what are you doing on Instagram? What are you doing to market yourself? Have you put yourself marketed?

Let's check that. Nate Linder. Fucking thousands of people know your name right now, Nate. Okay, you're the guy who we keep scheduling a call and we don't do. What's his fucking number? Nate underscore Linder. What's his phone number? You know what?

Let's see. We're having fun today. We're going to his website. Yeah, Nate Linder. Let's see what this fucker get. Let's see what Natey, Nate. Okay, what's your number, dog? Okay, let's see what natey nate okay what's your number dog um okay let's see what's going on now this kid's got my fucking fucking fuck

god bless nate linder how did you know it was me dog How did you know it was me I didn't need your number When you gave it to me a few weeks back Oh alright well that makes sense So you already put it in Here you go We're checking out your website you're on the podcast right now How you doing dog

I accept your proposal when the dates come in For fall We'll definitely use you see come in for fall, we'll definitely use you, see how you do, and then we'll discuss race. We'll negotiate. Fucking yeah, brother. Let's run it. Now, where are you, dog? Where are you working out of? Yeah, because you have the acoustics that you're in the bathroom

right now. I moved to Denver about a year ago, and I actually wanted to ask you if you're going to be torn out here soon. Hopefully, when the agent sets up the dates, hopefully I'm coming out that way for sure. So how's business? Is it decent? I mean, what are you doing?

Is it your main thing? It's a side business as of right now. My full-time job, I work for a big media and marketing agency, but building this business on the side and yeah, stacking up clients, it's been a good start to summer so far dude I like you already something about you I just like right now maybe we won't even start with the maybe we won't even start with the

dates we'll start with maybe we'll see if you can get that special out there a little bit you want to try to market the special? yeah man let's fucking do it alright so we'll set up some ads alright so I'll call you back next year. And I'm just kidding. That was you guys supposed to be paying attention.

They're both fucking scrolling on the phone. Guys, the film, we're fucking rolling. I'm looking at his Instagram right now. He's looking at your Instagram. I'm looking at his website. So Jesse's looking at your website, and Jared is looking at your Instagram. You got a disproportionate amount of chest hair, Nate. What's going on here? You got a lot of chest hair i'm a furball dude he's got a good haircut

though yeah he's got it you got a good website too i like your website man so let's look at nate right here look at this kid knees out cute look cute kid he likes to hike. This could easily be his grinder profile as well. From tackling personal decisions to reaching important milestones, my job is to guide you on the path to success. And by you, I mean Giannis. I'm fueled by my commitment to excellence and I go the extra mile to make sure that my clients are always, now how far are you willing to go,

Nate? What are we talking about? Yeah, man. I mean, you know, it's my job to make sure my clients' advertisements aren't shitting far are you willing to go, Nate? What are we talking about? Yeah, man. I mean, you know, it's my job to make sure my clients' advertisements aren't shitting the bed like Amber Heard. So, you know. There you go. I'm going beyond, my man. There you go. Request a quote.

Let's request a quote while he's on the phone. So, look, I'm going to use Nate Linder. If you guys are watching, use Nate Linder. Nate, we appreciate you as always, man. Appreciate your support. And we are going to do it. We're going to do it. I'll get on the horn with you after this, and we'll figure something out.

Right on, brother. I appreciate the call. Also, Longshore Coffee, what's up? Let's work. Longshore Coffee. Yeah, Longshore Coffee, hit them up. Brooklyn Cannery, hit them up. 305 Media. 305 Media.

305 Media, definitely. I think you guys are working together, right? Yeah, I mean, the dude hasn't answered my emails and calls for the last couple months, but we'll see. He's probably shooting a porno. And then we, of course, freaking Cold Spring Water. Yanni Mikas, hit him up. Hit up Nate Linder. Give him a try.

All right, I'll hit you up. But Chris Minetti definitely don't need you. He don't want nobody to know about him. Yeah, I don't want any trouble, Chris. I don't want any trouble, alright? Appreciate you, Nate. I'll hit you up, buddy. Love it. Thanks, Giannis. Later. Thanks, guys.

Seems like a great guy. I like Nate. Chris Minetti. Hit him up. 215-750-3730. Get your check cashed in the Philly, South Jersey area. I only pay Jared in forged checks. Because I send them. He has to take the bus to cash your checks at Chris Minetti's Financial Services. Yeah, I have to pass the crown fried chicken.

your checks at Chris Minetti's financial services. Yeah, I have to pass the crown fried chicken. If you want to get your check cash and have a gun pulled on you by the owner behind Bulletproof Glass, go see Chris Minetti at Chris Minetti's fucking check cashing store. Capisce? ForTheFree.us. Are they still around or is this guy just using me as a tax write off? Nah they're good ForTheFree is an organization dedicated to providing artists from Hawaii

a place to develop their craft They host free shows and post free music by local artists Go to ForTheFree.us Scroll around Get a quote from them 305 PLP Media Service Has anyone used these guys? Has anyone called them?

Has anyone texted them? I know I got the one prank text. Okay, they'll film anything. They'll edit anything. They'll do anything for you, including porn. So they're professional and discreet. So even if you want to shoot... I don't know why they say no weddings.

They do weddings. They do everything. Whoever owns this company is triggered by a wedding. Maybe his parents are divorced. I don't know why they say no weddings. They do weddings. They do everything. Whoever owns this company is triggered by a wedding. Maybe his parents are divorced. He's like, I'm never doing a wedding. Hit them up at 786-548-CASH, which is really what Chris Minetti's phone number should be.

It really should be. I don't know what cash has to do with a video service company, I don't know what cash has to do with a video service company, but it's 786-548-2274. 305 PLP Media Services. Check them out on Vimeo, vimeo.com slash 305 PLP, or Facebook slash 305 PLP. They will film, edit, do whatever production for you. And, of course, ExclusiveAautoshipping.com from Jared.

He's had this company since 2016. He's probably doing really well because how many companies are there to move your wheels? A lot of people moving to Texas, so I know he's killing it. So get your free quote if you're moving anywhere. Did you buy a car out of state?

Maybe you're moving. Here's your solution right here. Exclusiveautoshipping.com. They also have student and military discounts available Jared no fumes except when inside strange wombs Zatkowski

it's been a long day