Yannis Pappas Hour - Can’t add Comedy to Comedy

Episode Date: December 18, 2021

Yanni has some fun with Jussie Smollet’s forthcoming appeal of his conviction. He’s rooting for him. A Louisiana Judge got her house broken into and yell’s a slur about him, are you allowed to call someone who violates your home a slur? Yanni & Jared Harvin weigh in. The new pope comes out with yet another allowance, pretty soon you’ll be able to be Catholic and not get away with molestation, he’s so progressive. Eon Musk is person of the year? Is porn bad for you? Billie Eillish thinks so, but do we. And finally, Ben Affleck is an aSsh$le. Find out what he’s really bitter about. This is LongDays and Wasdadealis. Listen to Yanni’s sports & betting podcast for BETMGM here UNLEASHED: https://jaml.ink/unleashedGreen Chef https://chef.greenchef.com/plans?c_comms=FREEMEALS&ct=FUMES10&utm_campaign=50222222podcast&utm_content=fumes10&utm_medium=cpm&utm_source=podcastTrue Bill https://www.truebill.com/Fumes?wpsnetn=podcast&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=podcast&wpcn=fumes&wpcid=fumes&utm_campaign=fumesLongDays is a weekly podcast by comedian Yannis Pappas. Yanni satirizes trending topics and news from all sides. He likes to poke all the bears. Get your commentary on news & trending topics with Yanni every Sat and a guest chat with interesting, brilliant and hilarious humans every Thursday. Wasdadealis Yanni stand up tour dates & tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comJoin for weekly Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysThe show goes out every Saturday night & Thursdays to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram on Wednesdays. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys, it's almost Christmas, so that's a very good thing. It's the best holiday. It should be longer. We need to put lipstick on the pig that is January and February. I will be running for president. My platform will be longer Christmas and a three-day work week. That's how you need to get elected. What's going on? Jesse Smollett is sticking to his guns and I'm rooting for him. Okay. Don't ever give in.

That's my story. I'm sticking to it. I was attacked by two homophobic racists in MAGA hats. Okay. They ended up being Nigerian. Well, let me change the story. Those two Nigerians are Trump supporters, and they hate me, and I was fucking one of them, and the other one didn't like it, and that $3,500 check I gave them was for fitness advice. The rope and the MAGA hats that they bought, that was for a Halloween costume that we were supposed to go to at a gay bar because one of them is my gay lover. I love it. Reality is a suggestion and juicy. You got a great imagination. I support

you. Stick to your guns. Don't let them see you squirm. Elon Musk back in the news taking the place of Trump, having a wild Twitter. Thank God someone's filled the void. Elon Musk, just one person of the year in Time Magazine or something like that, and he's going at it with America's favorite Native American, Elizabeth Warren. Who's the fraud? A lot of text messages being released on January 6th, where a lot of people, including Donald Trump Jr., were telling Donnie T to maybe give a speech and say, Hey guys, stop attacking the Capitol.

More on that. Apparently, Donald Trump's defense is he didn't have any bars of service. So he didn't get any of the text messages. And that's why he didn't say anything for 100 and something minutes. And he let it happen. It had nothing to do with the fact that he kind of liked it. Khloe Kardashian has obviously gotten a lot of plastic surgery because she doesn't want to look like her father

who chopped the woman's head off. Because as we know, OJ Simpson definitely had an affair with her mom behind Kardashian's back and Khloe Kardashian is definitely OJ's daughter um Billie Eilish who knows you were watching so much porn at 11 you skank more on that coming up

Ben Affleck blaming his drinking problem on Jennifer Gardner what a fucking dick North Korea executing some citizens for watching South Korean K-pop. Now that's how you do it. If we could only bring that law here for listening to boy bands,

then maybe we wouldn't have to suffer through 98 fucking degrees and Nick Lachey's career. Okay? That's one of the biggest tragedies that's happened to this country, including 9-11 and COVID. It goes 9-11, then I go Nick Lachey, and then I go COVID. This is Long Days, and what's the Dulles?

Down in Spobus. Guys, as you know, YouTube took down episode 51 for some cockamamie reason. Who knows? But really need you guys to support us at patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Please go join. Support uncensored fun comedy. Need you. Need you bad. Go over there.

You will enjoy it. Become a part of the long haul gang. Now I want to tell you about my dates. If you're watching this when it comes out Saturday, you can catch me tonight at Mohegan Sun if you're in Connecticut or in the area. Come over to Comics at Mohegan Sun and catch the last two shows Saturday night.

That will be the 18th of December. Then I will be at the House of Comedy in Plano, Texas. That's January 6th through the 8th. Get your tickets, yannispapascomedy.com. American Comedy Company in San Diego from January 20th to the 22nd. Get your tickets, yannispapascomedy.com. Then Tampa, Florida on February 10th. Tickets on my website.

Then Edmonton, Canada, the February 17th through the 19th. New Westminster, Canada, February 24th to the 26th. Tickets on my website. Then Bloomington, Minnesota, March 3rd through the 5th. Tickets on my website. Then San Antonio, March 24th through the 26th at LOL Comedy Club. Tickets on my website. Then we're going to Phoenix, Arizona from

April 14th to the 16th. April 14th through the 16th, I will be in Phoenix, Arizona at the House of Comedy. Tickets on my website. Please, patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. We need you all to go join. It's only five bucks a month because

what is that that's five quarters a week so go join we need you guys to join and go to apple podcast and rate and review please be proactive it helps with the algorithm now let's start the show you gotta give credit to jesse smollett i mean he got, he got convicted. He got convicted. And from what I heard, one of the black jurors characterized it as sad. He just said the thing was sad. But I like to disagree. I mean, what's he going to do? He's going to go in there and admit that he's such a sociopathic narcissist that he sent himself hate mail, was upset that the hate mail didn't get the attention that it deserved so he can get more play on Empire.

The kid just wanted more lines. He just wanted more lines. All right? He exhausted his options. He probably went to the EP, and he said, hey, EP, that's jargon. That's Hollywood jargon for executive producer. He probably went to the executive producer and said, hey, my character really needs to flourish a little bit. I feel boxed in.

Can you just give me a couple more lines? And the EP probably said, sorry, Juicy, you're sixth. You're a sixth tier character. The best option I have for you is cheat out to the camera more you know just turn your body more and make the most of your scenes and jesse went home and he was like you know what what could help me get some more lines on empire i'm gonna fake a hate crime uh that isn't very well thought out i mean if you were gonna do it dude if you're gonna do a hate crime,

if you're going to fake a hate crime, okay, what you're going to want to do is you want to take a little vacation to Jacksonville. And in Jacksonville, you don't even have to pay anyone. Just walk down the street and someone will yell the N-word at you.

Just go outside of any major city inas and take a walk and roll your camera and you got your news story you don't want to go to the most liberal town in the world okay on a day that's negative 14 degrees at two in the morning where nobody could be outside except a husky and maybe Santa Claus and say that you were getting a sandwich and then you were attacked by two guys yelling this is MAGA country because you know,

there is a lot of MAGA country out there, but you know what's not MAGA country? Downtown condo area of Chicago, Illinois. That is definitely not MAGA country. But, you know, the noose was a nice touch, too. I like how he goes, I don't know how it got on there. He's like, I don't know.

He's like, I just came to, and I was like, dude, that was a pretty, pretty, those are pretty elastic. Those guys are pretty flexible to be able to punch you and get a noose on at the same time. He's like, yeah, one of the guys had six arms. He punched me with two and then with the other two arms or with his feet because I got attacked by two racist gymnasts. With his feet, he was able to maneuver a noose around my neck.

So shout out to Ju for sticking sticking to the story because according to him now he's been he's been convicted he will appeal it he will appeal it juicy it's so hard not to call him juicy because it's spelt juicy but he pronounces jesse uh jesse smollett appeal his conviction. I don't know on what grounds, like what would be the grounds of the appeal? Would he be like, I was wrongfully convicted again? You know? And they go, what's your evidence? And he goes, I told you what my evidence is. I was having an affair with one of these Nigerian kids. Okay. I was paying them for fitness advice, 3,500 in check. He goes, well, they claim that 3,500 in check

was for you to fake a hate crime against them to boost your profile. And he's just going to say, what's he going to say? I'll tell you what he's going to say. And you know what he's going to say. He's going to say, why are you giving me such boomer energy right now? Why are you giving me boomer energy? They go, Jesse, we have on tape where you're walking with the two of them doing a dress rehearsal for the hate crime. And he's going, okay, that's Photoshop,

dog. That's Photoshop. Yeah, that's a deep fake right now. I don't know if you've been to porn sites. That's not me. Okay, that's another light-skinned brother right there. That is those two Nigerians. It's just funny that it was two Nigerians. I know it's old news, but it was back in the news because Jesse Smollett's trial just happened. That was one of the—I don't understand why it took four years again i don't want to repeat myself it took four

years to put him to trial and then the trial itself took like 13 minutes so what's the four year wait for you know like when we used to get arrested we went to the tombs spent the weekend and then the cops just wrote markers on our head and told us, you gentlemen have a good night. And it was over. So, yeah, I don't, you know, Jared thinks he's not going to get a job in Hollywood anymore. I think it would be pretty hard for him to get a job in Hollywood after this. No, he's not. He's not.

Where does Jesse Smollett go from here? First of all, he may have to do some, he may have to, some he may have to you know the interesting thing was the he had some friends in powerful places because the former district attorney member dropped the initially dropped the charges against them and like so he was about to get away and then I think the police were like nah nah nah and the police like sued and then it went to trial but initially he had some friends in some powerful places in Chicago that made the charge go away, but then it came back. What does Juicy... See, I think he might be making a mistake and not just owning it. And then what he could do is he could create a grift, like teach seminars on people on

how to not be a fake hate crimer or something. Where does he go? Where does Jussie Smollett... Do you just move to another country and open a candle store? fake hate crimer or something? Where does he go? Where is Jesse Smollett? Do you just move to another country and open a candle store? He can make a master class on how to get caught. Master class. Master class.

That's where Jesse Smollett goes. Bill Clinton just did a master class on how to ship all the jobs overseas during the NAFTA deal and then walk away scot-free. And Hillary Clinton just did a master class on I guess leadership what was her master class on what was her master we were going to talk about that last episode we didn't so that's another story we can get to because she cried during it because Hillary read the speech that she would have given if she had won um you

know she reminds me of hillary you ever see the movie election with reese witherspoon you know she reminds me of reese witherspoon at election great movie by the way matthew broderick reese witherspoon's really funny i bet you she wrote that speech when she was like six years old she wrote that except because she'd been dreaming about, like every move she made was to get to the presidency. Here she is in her

Pattaya colored jacket. That is a fucking dragon fruit colored jacket. You should not be able to wear that jacket unless you're one of the dancers on In Living Color in 1997. You wear that jacket

in North Korea, you getting executed, son. Yeah, I mean, but look, that is a, only black people can pull that color off that is like purple yeah that is a pimp call shouldn't wear that unless you a pastor in the south side of Chicago that's right now what was your master class on do they say what it was on yeah how to overcome setbacks and build a life of principle and purpose oh mrs mrs piousness you're so good you're so good hillary how could we be good like you how could we be good like hillary she should

have the master class should have been how to continue to keep pushing forward when nobody wants you to, how to keep coming back from the dead like Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th. You can't kill her. How to have a comedian named Giannis Pappas name the pandemic after me. To have a comedian start to call COVID the Hillary, which is what I call it.

I call COVID the Hillary. So when a friend gets COVID, I say, you got the Hillary. Why? Because it's a nasty, nasty bug and you can't get rid of it. She keeps coming back. She keeps coming back, dog. Different strands. She mutates up and down,

but Hillary just won't go away. That's what happens when you cheat on your wife, son. She couldn't be number one in Bill Clinton's life, so she's trying to be number one in ours. Yes, but we don't want her. Nobody wants her.

The Dems don't want her. Nobody wants her. So she gave her masterclass. So that's what Jesse can do is do a master class on what what would be his master class at a stage of hate crime at a stage he's like all right first what you got to do first what you got to do is write yourself a uh i think he wrote the uh because i i believe um what's her My favorite, my girl who just turned 44.

Happy birthday, queen. Rachel Dolezal. Happy birthday, girl. Happy birthday, girl. She also sent herself a hate crime letter. And it was put into a PO box. And I remember the reporter goes, it goes, you're the only person with the key to that box

and she just said why are you giving me such boomer energy right now yeah I mean it was it was like obvious that she was the only one who could have put the letter in whatever box I don't remember the story and also the letter was like in cut out magazine letters, which is like they only do that in movies. Like a ransom note? Like a ransom note, yeah. So you hide the handwriting. I think Juicy Smollett, but I mean, I think his hate crime might have been in Nigerian. I think the letter, he might have needed a Nigerian translator to translate.

It was post-dated from Wakanda. It was post-dated. It was actually an email from a Nigerian prince that he had translated. Because that's where it started. Supposedly he got a hate crime letter. He got a letter being like, hey, we hate you.

And then it didn't get any attention. And he was like, you know how pissed he probably was about that? He was probably fuming in his room like, God damn it. He was like, Scooby-Doo, like those measly kids. If it wasn't for them, I would have got away with it. And he was like, all right. And then he just hatched another plan to hit Chicago.

At least you know that he'll say in his master class, he'll be like, all right, look, don't make the mistakes. You don't want to be lazy. You don't want to do it in a, you don't want to stage the hate crime in an area that's like very convenient for you, you know, because his area is like a, like very rich condo area

where it's like, he's like, look, dude, you put a little effort into it, you know? I think there's an old expression that like, if you don't commit, you're letting down the people who believe in you. Jesse, you didn't commit, all right? You didn't, is that the laziest hate crime in the world? He did it outside of his apartment in Chicago.

It's like, how lazy is that, man? I mean, all he did was like throw on footsies and go outside and pretend to get a Subway sandwich. What if this whole thing is just a commercial for Subway? I love the fact that his sandwich was unscathed too. Supposedly he was able to, the sandwich was untouched. And I think he probably went upstairs and ate it. and I think he probably went upstairs and ate it and then one of my favorite parts of it too

was he said he took the noose off but then I think his manager, the one who helped him or his friend was like, no, no, no, no, put it back on, let them see it. So he put the noose back on. Yeah, and that's what one of the black jurors said

made him feel a little wishy-washy about the story because he put it back on. He said, that's what one of the black jurors said made him feel a little wishy-washy about the story because he put it back on. He said, as a black juror, I'm not going to put that back on. Of course. Yeah, you're not going to put that back on. Also, I mean, those would be two highly, highly, highly

motivated hate crimers to go and figure out how to make that tie, get the rope, and make sure to get it around his neck. You know? Yeah, before they have to be hate crimers, they have to be prop setters. Just seeing two guys sitting in a pickup truck

with a MAGA flag in the back of it saying, no, you gotta put the noose in there. Like he's tying a bow for Christmas present. That's hilarious. Yeah. Also, like very motivated, dude. And like patient to sit outside in Chicago. I assume they weren't in a car, right?

They just came out of nowhere. It's negative. Have you ever been to Chicago in the winter, dog? No. Yeah. I actually have. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I've been to Chicago in the winter. It is unbearably cold. the winter dog no yeah i actually have yeah yeah i mean i've been to chicago in the winter it is unbearably cold i mean the wind coming off of lake michigan by the way that's not a fucking lake if i can't see to the other side that's an ocean lake michigan that's the most new york logic yeah i mean i don't understand your city the wind that comes off that lake i mean it cuts you like a knife i mean it is so cold in chicago winter because of that wind and supposedly these two dudes because they didn't know he was coming out they didn't know he was gonna call out to get it unless they tapped his phone and were like they were they were i mean like imagine how many nights they probably had to stay out there in the

cold and be like all right when's he gonna go out for a sandwich when's he i had to stay out there in the cold and be like, all right, when's he going to go out for a sandwich? I mean, it was 2.30 in the morning. So they were waiting out there for him in the freezing cold, and then they must have seen him come out and be like, thank God he finally got hungry. And he walked his subway. So it was a hard story to believe it's what we're saying hard story to believe it's funny though because much like many things that come out now in the trial by media era that we live in like as soon as the story came out everyone jumped on it nobody was like

whoa let me hear what's going on first you know know, except for like Dave Chappelle's joke. Like there were some people going, whoa. Some people were going, whoa. Okay. Whoa. I'm a black dude. I get it. There's racist people in the world.

But let me hear this story again. These guys went all out, made sure to have their MAGA uniforms on. They had a noose on and they were just out there in Chicago at 2.30 in the morning in negative 14 degree weather. I don't know, man. This story sounds kind of sus, but you know, a lot of celebrities were just all over it immediately. They couldn't wait to be like, Elliot Page, remember she was like, this is directly linked to Mike Pence. Mike Pence was sitting there going like,

hey man, I'm against abortion and I don't want you to get married, but I didn't have nothing to do with what happened to Juicy. Politicians too. Politicians were all over it. You know, since probably the Kyle Rittenhouse, the Jesse Smollett, maybe a few others, you know, there's probably somebody, there's a consultant on the Democratic side being like, let's just wait a couple days before we release a statement next time. Let's just wait a couple days.

By the way, Kyle Rittenhouse is being used now. He's speaking at some Republican event. It's like, really? I mean, you're going to treat him like he's some hero, you know? I mean, it's like, can you just like, does anyone have any decorum? You're having some 18-year-old kid show up who killed two people, albeit, yes, it was self-defense, but still, I mean, like, is that how you get your ticket to be a speaker at some fucking dumb conservative event where some 18-year-old

goes up there and goes, yeah, hi, my name's Kyle Rittenhouse. I like playing video games, finger popping, and carrying an AK-47 occasionally to protect stores. Yeah, he's going to be talking as a guest, this 18-year-old kid, at Turning Point USA's America Fest, which I guess is some conservative group. He's being recruited. Yeah, exactly. He's a D1 prospect for the Republicans.

He's being used. That's what you call being used. He's being used, and he's probably a dumb kid. He's going to go, oh, I'm getting all this attention. I'll go do it. The event is going to be unlike anything you've ever seen. Don't miss out. We live in a shameless country now.

Nobody has any shame. I was actually talking to Tim and Tim made this point, Tim Dillon. He said the reason why comedy is so hard right now is because nobody has any shame. You know, everything's so shameless. So it's like comedians used to come in and say that thing where you were going like,

ooh, you know, I can't say that. But now it's like, yeah, not only will I not say that, I'll like, I'll douse myself in urine. I'll do whatever. I'll do whatever on YouTube or whatever. Like nobody has any shame. Anyone will do anything for a buck or attention. And like I said, you can't add comedy to comedy.

Sometimes you just got to read the stories and just go, there's your comedy, man. There's your comedy. So good luck, Juicy. Keep it going. Don't stop. At this point, Iicy. Keep it going. Don't stop. At this point, I'm rooting for you now. At this point, I want to see if you can get away with it. I want to see if you can win on appeal.

He's done. I don't think so. I think he'll get away with it. I think he'll be able. He's got to play the minority card. He played the black card. That didn't work out. Now he's playing that.

Now he's got to go with the gay card. Now he's got to go, listen, my lawyer is homophobic. He wasn't supporting me the right way. I got to get a new lawyer. He's got to keep it going. Yeah. Imagine he just keeps it going. He's like, my lawyer was homophobic.

He said some slurs. And then he attacked me when I was going to get a blimpy sandwich. He just goes through every fast food sandwich. He's like, I was going out late. I was going to get a Whopper. And then what happened was one of the jury members attacked me and say hey empire aren't you empire it's funny that he thought that any racist would even care about him as like the sixth role on empire no one's watching that it was like dave chappelle going like those nobody's watching

empire i like what dave ch like, nobody's watching Empire. I like what Dave Chappelle, nobody's joke was better than Dave Chappelle. He goes, I can't say it on here, we'll get demonetized. He goes, hey, he goes, hey, Empire, aren't you that F N word? He goes, he goes, that doesn't sound like something they say.

He goes, that sounds like something I would say. Guys, this is a very important, very important thing I got to tell you right now is my other show. You all need to be listening to. If you're a sports fan, if you like throwing a little juice on some game, if you're a fan of me,

you got to listen to, listen to my show unleashed with Olivia Harland Decker. She's a sports journalist. She's amazing. The two of us have so much fun. Our podcast is brought to you by BetMGM. We have incredible guests every week. We have fun. We talk about betting lines. We talk about sports. So go listen on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts to me and Olivia Harland-Decker. The show is called Unleashed. Please write a review. Enjoy it. Tell your friends. It's an absolutely great show. So check out Unleashed, new episodes that drop every Thursday, every single Thursday. We have guests like former football players, commentators, analysts,

the works. So you're going to love it. Check out Unleashed with me and Olivia Harland-Decker wherever you listen to podcasts, new episodes every Thursday. Check it out. All right. Speaking of the N-word, speaking of that, let's go to this fun story about a judge, I believe, in Louisiana. Yeah. Louisiana, who apparently, maybe this will protect us, Jesse, allegedly, all these stories are allegedly, this is satire, YouTube. You CCP imitator. They took our full episode down.

Episode 51 is missing because they wanted to protect what I had to say about either the Baldwin Thanksgiving, Justin Timberlake, or the Women's March. Allegedly. Allegedly. They want to protect you from satire. Anyway. So allegedly, everything is alleged. So this judge, who is a little bit of a piece, I think.

I believe I saw her. She's a piece. Yeah, that's her. I mean, she is a little bit of a piece. Look at her. I like it. Yeah. You like what you see.

Yeah. I let her send me to jail. So apparently someone made a video in her house. It was like her son or someone in her house. Yeah. So apparently there was they had a break and there was a home invasion. Home burglar. Guy broke into the house.

Guy broke into the house. Black guy broke into the house. Black guy broke into the house. We don't know his skin color. We don't. I think we do. Okay. Well, allegedly. Alleg I think we do. Allegedly. Allegedly.

Because he could have been Samoan. He could have been Samoan. Allegedly. So he broke into the house. People inside the house chased him out, tackled him on the front lawn. He goes to jail. Now they're watching surveillance video of that going down

because they had cameras outside of the house. The son records them watching that in their living room and the family is talking about it and you hear the judge go, oh, I yelled out there. We have an N-word. We have an N-word. N-word like a roach. Like a roach. That part was bad. Yeah. And she got caught saying that and the video got leaked online and now she's in very hot water. I love what she said caught saying that, and the video got leaked online, and now she's in very hot water. I love what she said. She goes, I don't remember. She was heavily sedated. She said, I was heavily sedated.

You know who used that same excuse was Roseanne Barr when she tweeted that. She was like, I was on Oxys. I don't remember when I tweeted it that Susan Rice looked like Planet of the Apes. That was the tweet that she got in trouble for. She was likeys i don't remember when i tweeted it that susan rice looked like planet of the apes that was the tweet that she got in trouble for she's like i don't remember i don't remember is a good one and like i don't remember i blacked out amnesia i just don't remember saying it and i'd like to apologize um i got two questions here First question is, how did this video get out? I don't know. Is the son made a video of it?

The son made a video of it. It looked like it was on Instagram Live. So maybe he, but he probably recorded it and he probably sent it to some of his friends because you know how people share. Right, and then someone leaked it. And then someone leaked it. Yeah. Yeah.

But she said she didn't remember because she was heavily sedated at the time. She was heavily sedated at the time. She was heavily sedated at the time. Had a lot of tablets of drill. We're probably going to have to bleep that. Yeah. Sorry. Make a note. Maybe if you put me on camera, they can let me know I'm black.

They still wouldn't. No. They still wouldn't. I'm sorry. Bleep it. But she said she was heavily sedated at the time. She didn't remember it. And that anyone who knows her... I never heard of that

medication. It's only on the black market, actually. It's on the black market only. You can only get it on the black market. Yes, but she says she doesn't remember because she was heavily sedated at the time. She was heavily sedated on that type of Benadryl

that you just mentioned. So I could tell you one thing her son who recorded it he's gonna go without tv privileges for a little while he'll be punished for a little bit i don't think he's gonna be able to use a family car for a little bit yeah you did what you sent it to your friends you idiot about to be on probation son yeah i mean how did that is the crest can you hear me still can i mean how did that is the crescent can you hear me still can you people still hear me yeah the crescent moon do not disturb is on interesting can you hear me can the people still hear me um now my second question is this did the guy break into the house apparently they did he was in the house. They chased him out on the lawn.

Okay. So, I'm going to say what she said is bad. Of course. But if there is an instance where you may be a little angry and you may drop a slur and I may look the other way,

it's when someone breaks into your house. If someone breaks into my house, I'm not going to pretend like I'm not human. I may drop a slur and I may look the other way it's when someone breaks in your house if someone breaks into my house I'm not going to pretend like I'm not human I may drop a slur if they're Chinese I'm not gonna you're not thinking politically correct when someone breaks in your house you don't go oh my god sir there is an Asian American I'm sorry there's a Korean American in my living room. You know? It's like when you're driving your car and somebody cuts you off, right? You don't go, if it's a woman, you don't go, oh, there is a strong, beautiful woman.

There's a strong feminist queen who just cut me off. Or if it's an Indian dude, you don't go, oh, it's a strong immigrant. You go, goddammit, this, this bitch just fucking cut me off. So I'm not saying it's right. And she's a judge. It looks bad. But someone did break into her house.

You're going to lose your cool. You're going to lose your sense of reason. You're not going to have right thoughts when you think you're being wronged. When you think you're being wrong, you might let something slip out. Yeah. And all that adrenaline. You got the adrenaline going. And then the fact that she was raised in Louisiana.

Yep. She's from Louisiana. She's probably racist to begin with. That's a fact. It just kind of slipped out. Slipped out. It just kind of. A little bit.

Kind of slipped out. The only part that made it seem a little worse was the roach part. Where she goes, there's an N-word. And then she jokes, she goes, like a roach. She was very comfortable. She was very comfortable. Yeah, she did it three times. You know, if she went to El Paso, if she was at the border of El Paso,

there's no way she wouldn't have made an infestation joke. She'd be like, wow. Somebody call a fumigator here. Can we get Oregon on the line real quick? I'm just saying, somebody breaks into your house. You know, when you're mad and the adrenaline's going you say horrible things say horrible thing you know how many times i called myself a bitch in the gym because i'm trying to get my last setup so yeah when i'm squatting like 250 i'm like come on you little bitch we're gonna get this up of

course i understand that you made times you know many times i was looking at gay porn i call myself a dumb greek i was like come on don't be Greek now. You're straight. It's just, yeah, it's just, you know, it's in us all. It's in us all. It's really, here's the thing about people. I would love to think we end up living in like a raceless utopia, a socioeconomic utopia. It's just people don't even like people who aren't in their immediate culture,

let alone, you know, being able to live in harmony with like other races. I mean, people don't even like, like actors won't even marry a plumber. Like if you're an actor in Hollywood, you don't even associate with plumbers. You always fear what you don't understand. Yeah, plumbers won't even associate with like, you know, lawyers. You know, it's like we can't even get like harmony amongst jobs,

let alone ethnicities, let alone races and religions. But there is hope. I mean, not anymore. Obama's not in office anymore. But Pete is Dave and Kim. Huh? Pete alone races and religions. But there is hope. I mean, not anymore. Obama's not in office anymore. But Pete is Dave and Kim. Huh? Pete is Dave and Kim. Yeah, Pete and Kim is hope.

I guess if you've got a big bat, you have hope. But I mean, people don't even go outside of their comfort zones when it comes to something as small as their job or socioeconomic status. You ever notice, they're like, oh my God, I found the guy for me, True Love. It's like, oh, True Love always is pretty convenient. It's like, oh, I met this guy whose parents are also rich, like my parents. He happened to, you know, hang out with the friends I hang out with. It's like people just, it's all kind of like people stay with their own.

We're so tribal. We don't even go outside of our comfort zone. We won't even hang out with someone who has a different political opinion. It's like you're written off. You're written off. So race is only one of the things people discriminate against.

It's the one that people talk the most about. But if you're conservative, you can't hang out with liberals that's worse they treat you worse if you're liberal you can't hang out with conservatives like get this cuck out of here so it's like camaraderie amongst tax brackets yeah to expect that people would just like break down all barriers and not have this these horrible things in their heart that come out when their house gets broken into,

which I would say if there's a situation where one would slip out, like I'm saying like, it's good. She didn't say this while she was on the bench, like while she's judging, she's like, you know, what are you going to do?

He's a roach, put them away. And then you're going like, okay, you have no, you know, there's no adrenaline there you weren't wronged you're bad but um it's bad either way it shows that she as a judge

shouldn't be i mean that shows that she's probably not gonna be impartial shows her true feelings but i do have a little i'm'm going like, her house was broken into, you know? What if she had called him like, you know, what's, she called him like a, or like a piece of shit

or what am I demonetizing? It's not worse than the Benadryl joke he said. I'm just saying, when your mad things come out, when your mad things are going to come out when you're scared things are going to come out of course does that mean she's racist? Probably

she's from Louisiana you know it's like the dog bounty hunter thing it's like did you really think that did you really think dog bounty hunter never dropped an n-word in his life it's just unrealistic to expect but you're right it's the judge's the judge thing that gets her. The judge thing that gets her.

Like if she was a manager of a Wawa's, this wouldn't even be a story, right? No, bro. If she was just a waitress at a Cracker Barrel, they'd be like, yeah, it's just kind of how it goes. That's just kind of how it goes in Louisiana. Yeah, son. She was a bar back?

If she was a bar back, it's kind of how it goes. She was a bar back. Her bar's getting sold out of liquor from this day that this video gets Yeah, son. She was a bar back? If she was a bar back, it's kind of how it goes. She was a bar back. Our bar's getting sold out of liquor from this day that this video gets dropped, son. But look, if there was a white dude,

if there was like a white dude who broke into a black dude's house and the black couple called him a crack-ass cracker, a saltine crack-ass honka-donk honky, and he was a judge. I'd be like, I kind of understand. He was angry. Somebody broke. I mean, it's a violation of breaking into someone's house

at night. I'd be like, look, you got to understand. He was a little stressed. He was a little stressed out. It happens. I understand we want to believe everyone is just a beautiful person above these things, but none of us are. Nobody's pure, you know? Did we forget what Jesus said? He is without sin. Cast the first stone, you know? Yeah, he was a carpenter.

And he was a carpenter. So, you know, when he stubbed his toe, he probably let it fly. He let them fly. Yeah. There's no way Jesus did not say a carpenter. And he was a carpenter. So, you know, when he stubbed his toe, he probably let it fly. He let him fly. Yeah. There's no way Jesus did not say a slur. Yeah. Can you think of anyone who's ever lived on the planet who has not said a slur at some point against some group of people? Probably rare.

Probably rare. You know? Yeah, people discriminate against people for all different reasons it's interesting nobody ever talks about that but it's not just race or religion or ethnicity it's like it's uh intelligence uh weight uh political beliefs um you're spot on about the conservative thing conservative liberal yeah um what'd you say the amount of teeth you have amount of teeth you have but even just like socioeconomic nobody hangs out like nobody hangs out with people who make less money you ever notice that you got a friend

who has more money he never comes to your house anymore when you get a rich friend he's like let's do it at my place you're like no why don't you come over rich friend, he's like, let's do it at my place. You're like, no, why don't you come over to my dump? He's like, I don't do that anymore. You know, you could come to me maybe. And if you come to me,

maybe. It depends on who I'm having over. It depends on what crew of people I'm having over. I'm only having you over when I have my old friends over for a reminiscing night. Yeah,

I mean, if you want Tim Dillon to shoot something here, you gotta have Cucumber Warranty. Yeah, no, Tim Dillon to shoot something here, you got to have cucumber water. Tim Dillon's not coming to this place anymore. He's like, let's do it by Zoom. I am staying. I'm at the

Plaza Hotel. Let's Zoom it. He's going to ask if you have a bidet. That's a 15-minute drive. He's like, let's Zoom it. Anyway, what's her name? She's done, right? You think she's done? She's in hot water now. They done right you think she's done she's in hot water now uh they don't say if she's done or not but we're gonna see what her words have to say about that because she forgot she forgot so the the son says mom's yelling n-word word uh man she was yelling it like kramer kramer was yelling at like it was part

of an opera yeah they were they were doing commentary yeah on the watching them do the video

a male voice reenactment right so they're watching the video in their living room they're watching the surveillance video on the living room

of the incident there is a video we could watch yeah we could pull it up we'll probably get demonetized if you do that

no no no it was on Twitter I can send it to you yeah anyway C Dreams wants us to know notice that there was no black people at the last supper I don't know what that means

I don't think there were any black people in that part of the world my friend Giannis looks like the Greek Clark Kent I'm pretty sure jesus has something sour to say about romans yeah i mean you know he definitely dropped a few slurs about romans he was not on that cross getting nailed up by these god and he didn't call him these cockamamie romans all right whatever slur he had for Romans. He's goddamn wops. A bunch of gondoloons.

Yeah. Dog the Bounty Hunter said he thought he had a pass. Was that his defense? He thought he had a pass? He had a hood pass or something? He said it's, yeah, yeah. She needs to come out on blacked to balance out the universe what's black that's from bdj moran it's a show it's a no it's a porn site where white women have sex with exclusively black men there you go that is your penance judge you. That might be the winner. Yeah, that might be the winner of Comet Roulette.

The way you balance out what you said is you have to go on blacked. And just, you know, take it. She's out here begging for forgiveness now. That's blacked right there. Yeah, if you do one scene in black, I think the black community will forgive you. Yeah. I mean, will we call it even if she does one scene like this?

Yeah. Yeah. Someone here said from back at the Jesse Smollett section, he said, Jesse Smollett, his next one, he's going to say he was attacked outside of a Jersey Mike's. Uncle Paulie's. In front of Uncle Paulie's. She needs a nailing Palin parody.

Oh, that's funny. So if you do a little cameo on Black, I think the Black community might look the other way and let you continue with your profession. And it has to be an act out of a home invasion. It has to be an act out of a home invasion scene on Black. And then we're even. Okay? Jared Harvin just fixed it for you, sweetheart.

Okay? And it's got to be starring Jared Harvin. Jared Harvin just fixed it for you, sweetheart. Okay? And it's got to be starring Jared Harvin. Oh. All right. What was your name by?

Who cares? Some judge. Louisiana. Yeah. And I bet her son and her are not on speaking terms right now. I absolutely love Truebill. No lie. I use it. You need to use it right now. Start. Truebill is a great app, dude. What it does, it helps you identify and stop paying for the subscriptions

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News Green Chef. Okay, Pope Francis. Now, Pope Francis, this guy, he keeps changing the rules for Catholics, right? He's the one that is like, he's like the most progressive pope, right? He's like, what is it? Smoking weed's not that bad. A lot of stuff. Did he, was he like pro-choice a little bit?

What has he done? Their numbers are down. Numbers are down, so he's trying to market different. He's trying to change it up. He's almost doing like what TV does. He's like, let's go a little woke, see if that works.

Because the numbers are down. So the most recent thing he said, which I guess is surprising to a lot of Catholics is that sex outside the home is not that bad sins of the skin is not the worst sins that you can commit sins of the skin are not the worst so if you cheat it's not the worst thing in the world

is that what he's saying yeah sex before marriage he's particularly referring to the archbishop of paris who it was leaked online that he had a sexual relations with a woman unnamed unnamed woman so he was probably going like whew at least it was a person who was of age well i mean not that bad it is paris so we don't know what the consent age of consent is over there so it still might be a little bit of a muddy water.

But it recently came out online that he had sexual relations with this woman, and he asked for his resignation. Yeah. And the Pope honored that because he said no one's ever clean. But if you were going to commit a sin, that's not the worst one that you can commit. Right. The worst one that you could commit is being inside of a child. That's really the worst one. Our bar is pretty low. We know very well what the worst one that you could commit is being inside of a child that's really the worst one our bar

is pretty low we know very well what the worst one is we uh we've had a lot of it go on we've had a lot of it go on i would say it's uh i would call it a little bit of a problem but you guys already know that so uh sex with a woman who is of age let's just say I give it a big phew. Yep. That's a big phew. That's like, you know, he's just acknowledging like, look, when it comes to that, we'll take it. I'll take that sin. I'll take that sin.

If I find out a cardinal had an affair with a woman who was an adult, like full grown, I'll take it. It's like when my mother used to get happy when I got C-minuses in school. She was like, they're better than Fs. I'll take it. It's not your brother who gets A's and went to Oxford, but we think you're borderline special needs. So C-minus, we'll take it. This is basically the C minus grade of expectations for the Catholic Church. So that's

good to know. Thank you, Pope Francis. So I guess if you're Catholic, go out there and cheat on your wife. You can still get into heaven. I didn't know this stuff was negotiable, but apparently it is. What are some of the other progressive rulings he's had? Because I know recently he's come out and said some stuff that was kind of like a break. I know they finally came out and they apologized to Galileo for killing him,

which is like, thanks, but no thanks. Imagine that. Imagine someone murders you for you telling them what the truth is. And then a couple hundred years later, they go, look, that was our bad. And he's like, you know what? I can't hear you because I've been dead for a long time. So I know they apologized for that. Post-hominously.

Because if you don't know, they killed Galileo because Galileo said that the that the the earth revolves around the sun. And the sun doesn't revolve around the earth. So, for some

reason that made them really mad. Imagine killing a guy that just likes to look up at the sun. Just imagine killing a guy who said something like that. I don't know why that would be a threat to the Catholic Church, but apparently their worldview at the time was like everything revolves around man, and man is made in the image of God.

You killed a nerd. You killed the Neil deGrasse Tyson of your day. How does that make you feel, son? It's got to make them feel bad. I mean, the Catholic Church has done some naughty, naughty things. They've been naughty. They've been naughty. They supported Nazis.

They've done some naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty business. The earth is flat and the sun turns on and off like a ceiling fan. Duh. Thank you, Windflow2. Yeah, he's had some other progressive stuff that he's...

Who am I to judge? Returning from his first overseas trip in 2013, Francis was asked by a journalist about gay men and priesthood. That's what it was. A single line from the post responds, If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and goodwill, who am I to judge right so he's he's he's he he would that is a big break from their normal um what used to be their position which was if you're gay um they should put you on wood

sticks and burn you so i think that was a big departure from that because being gay was a big no-no in religion before that that is tell me that the catholic church needs priests without telling me the catholic church needs priests this guy is opening up the world for recruitment yeah you're running low he's like guys we're touching too many kids give me a good one you do all you got to do is just please keep your hands off the children and we'll take you. Anyone. Yeah, he's really opening up the recruitment right now. This might be the only job that Justin Malay can get.

Yeah. Maybe that's what he does. Yeah. Because you can get redemption. Yep. You know, and it's a good grift. Then you can just be like, hey, I'm a pastor now. I'm a priest.

I'm all good. And he could give sermons. He's got the charisma. He can sing. And he can be reformed. He's got a goodmons. He's got the charisma. He can sing. And he can be reformed. He's got a good imagination. He's got a good imagination. And yeah, I don't know how this is still going through.

It says my Do Not Disturb is on. So Do Not Disturb on. All right, man. All right. Traffic is less now, though, we're losing jared harvin because he's got to go do a bar mitzvah in syosset so it's a it's a long drive peace out um so you know he's accepting of the gaze he's taking in the gaze and um also if you want to cheat on your wife, it's A-OK.

I will say this. The Catholic Church is now making a strong case for me to choose them over Islam because I was really favoring Islam because the 72 chicks in heaven is hard to beat but being able to cheat on your wife and have some fun gay dudes now i mean to liven up those ceremonies enough of the pot that he moaned imagine that the guy's just coming and going you guys here to work welcome to the catholic church let's go hit it rupaul you better work

turn to the right cover girl turn to the left the left. Do your thing. Don't sin. Work. Come on, girls. Hit it, Madonna. String a pose. String a pose. We're going to, today our mask is going to be brought to you by the Pet Shop Boys. I think that would be a lot funner to have just like a priest come out and like leather chaps, you know?

Hell yeah. And just like, what's up, guys? Welcome to church today. My name is Ramon. I'll be your Catholic priest. I just want you to say, I want you guys to go out there and just be good people. Be good people. Love is love.

And just do your thing. By the way, my Grindr profile is RamonCatholicPriest456. It's a picture of my abs. Please check me out. Okay, I got a lot of free time. It's Father Ramon. And let's do it. Let's do it.

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by just going wild and tweeting. And this last tweet was at Elizabeth Warren. Elizabeth Warren tweeted because Elon Musk won person of the year in Time Magazine, which I thought was pretty lame. You know, it was pretty lame. Who, Elon? Getting a person of the year? Yeah, because it's a person of the year,

so it should have went to a woman. It should have went to persons with a womb. Okay? We should have a woman award, female of the year, Rachel Levine, female of the year. Then we have male of the year, Rachel Levine, female of the year. Then we have male of the year, male of the year, you know who that goes to, Elliot Page. And then person of the year should have went to a woman because that's who a person is now. Person with a womb and that person should have been

a person is now. Person with a womb and that person should have been who? Who would have been the person with the womb who won it? Who's been a great person

with a womb this year? That's a tough one. I will say Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton should have won it for her bravery in the face, what was her master class? In the face of obstacles,

her leadership. Hillary Clinton is a person with a womb and she would have won. It should really be person with a womb of the year. And then there should be male of the year to Elliot Page and woman of the year to Rachel Levine.

Somebody says Jennifer Lawrence. I don't know what she's done, but give it to her. Give it to her. Okay? It's hard enough walking around having a smaller brain. They should be given some recognition. Someone says AOC's natties are persons of the year. There should be a robot of the year as well.

Yeah. AI of the year. And we give it to the bots that patrol YouTube for certain words that demonetize you. You guys should win AI of the year. I win girth of the year. I win girth of the year. Thank you, Brett Gratz. Basically, I'm the fattest kid of the year.

Yo, Awkwafina won. Awkwafina won what? 2021 Glamour Woman of the Year Awards. Okay, Glamour Woman of the Year Awards, Awkwafina. That's not fair. She's not a woman. She's a person with a womb. So what's the deal here?

She's an individual with a womb. What's going on with that? Was Laverne Cox not available? What's the deal here? Caitlyn Jenner wasn't available? so Kim Kardashian Kim Kardashian just got her law degree apparently

but I don't know she passed the baby bar exam so I don't even know what that means the baby bar exam. So I don't even know what that means, the baby bar exam. I think that's, is that like a different bar exam? She passed some bar exam after taking it four times, which to be honest with you is pretty impressive. I would have thought it would take her maybe 1,400 times to pass the bar. But remember, Kim Kardashian's pops was a lawyer who defended OJ.

So she comes from a line of lawyers and I'm sure her lawyer dad is very proud of her up in heaven and her half sister, Khloe. Because everyone knows OJ is Khloe's dad. I mean, Khloe has changed her face so much right now because she just couldn't look in the mirror anymore and see OJ. She was like, I got to change this.

So if you look at the plastic surgery, I mean, she has rearranged her entire face. She's unrecognizable now. She actually looks like Mr. Kardashian is her pops now, which he's not because they all look like him except Khloe who had OJ's face. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. God damn it.

Am I going to get fucking, is this going to be bullying again? I mean, Jesus Christ. I mean, if we pulled up Khloe and OJ, because I bet you there's conspiracy. Just pull up, is Khloe OJ's daughter? And look at their faces. Clearly. And everyone knows that they were friends. And everyone knows that OJ liked white women.

I mean... Oh, this one for sure. I mean, look at that, dog. The cheekbones. Yeah, the cheekbone, the face. And this is after she had a little work as well. I mean, there's other pictures where you can just clearly see that, you know, he was very good friends with Kardashian.

And so, you know. I mean, that's OJ's daughter, dog. That's OJ's daughter. Chloe's, you know, it's a secret. There's a lawyer apprenticeship program that allows those without degrees to become accredited lawyers. It requires the sponsorship of existing lawyers

to vouch for a person's ability to take the bar. So that's what the baby bar is. So it's some type of like, you know. That's a who you know kind of thing? It's if you get vouched for by regular lawyers. Thank you, Jdre9. So apparently that's what she did someone just said chris jenner would never do that dog she's a woman of morals yeah yeah yanni must have had his eyebrows threaded this morning they don't look like

angry caterpillars today just normal caterpillarsars. So Kim Kardashian, I guess that's what she passed. So she's not a lawyer or whatever, but she's able to pass this thing. And what does that enable her to do? J. Drew, can you explain what that, now that she's passed that after four times? And I love how she made an excuse. She's like, one of those times I took it, I had COVID. It's like, why did you leave the house when you had COVID? You should have been quarantining. So she made that excuse. She's like, one of the times I failed, I had COVID.

And it's like, well, what about the other three times? Okay, you failed four times. Dude, I would have failed. I would have failed 100 times. So I give her credit. And she actually did a good thing where she got someone off who was not guilty of something. I took my booster shot yesterday

of Moderna and yesterday I was out for the count, laid out, but I'm back, baby. I'm back today. 24 hours of 101 and Yanni's back. Yanni wouldn't miss long days

for all the tea in China. She has to take another preliminary test before she can go to law school. Is she really gonna go to law school? I mean, I will give her credit. If this girl puts down Pete's dick and her $3 billion to go pursue a law degree

at her age and actually gets it and becomes a lawyer, I give her a lot of respect because I'll tell you what, till this point, she hasn't done shit of value. Okay, she started a line and all that,

you know, but she got famous from getting dicked down by Ray J. So that would really be something. She would really be an inspiration because she's got all the money in the world. Jay Drew says, I give her credit too, but I still don't want to expose my kids to her antics. She doesn't do too many antics.

Well, yeah, I mean, she does make, she gets dicked down on camera, but just once. It was just Ray J that got her, right? On camera? I think he's talking about the show. I never watched the show. Oh, the show. Yeah, I mean, who watches that? Young girls. Yeah. Young girls watch it.

So, look. Hats off to Kim Kardashian. I mean, that's pretty impressive. It's pretty impressive. That goes against the stereotype that she's like, stupid, you know? I guess she's not as stupid as she says she could get her jurist doctorate

wow is she gonna go for it is she going for a jurist doctorate someone said she will be representing rappers now. Maybe she just wanted to get a doctor just to be around more rappers. Good point. Yeah. J. Drew says, I don't know.

I'm not her spokesperson, cuz. I don't know what she's doing. Yeah. R.I.PIP to Kim and Kanye so this is a this is a tough one South Dakota at this hockey game they did this thing where they had these teachers put on this equipment and they were fighting each other for dollar bills. And the reason why they were trying to scoop up all these dollar bills off of the ice

was to get supplies for their school. That's so sad. It's like almost torture to watch. Probably the biggest flaw we have as a country is our education system. It's been a complete failure. Teachers are underpaid. Schools are underfunded. Education is not emphasized.

And now you got these poor public school teachers. I assume they're public school. I mean, scraping dollar bills off the ice like we're watching some sort of weird squid game and the fans are cheering them on. Can we do something that has a little bit more, I mean, look at this, a little more humanity. I mean, look how degrading this is. Something that doesn't degrade them. Look at this. They're stuffing dollars into their shirts.

Look at this. They're stuffing dollars into their shirts. Teachers fighting for cash in Squid Game style competition in South Dakota. Right? I mean, how humiliating is that? That's horrible. These people are like the heroes of our society. Doctors, nurses. They're so underpaid.

Teachers, I said doctors, but I meant teachers, nurses. You know, they are sort of the gatekeepers to our future. And you have them on the floor scraping dollars off like hungry homeless people. That would be humiliating if you did that to homeless people let alone teachers someone just says uh jenna just says that's because it's south dakota cuz good point good point um you can't really have too high of a standard for people in South Dakota. The Dakotas.

But it's tough to watch, man. It's tough to watch them be treated that way. Humiliating. Billie Eilish. What are you pulling up? There was a game show, right, where you had to grab money? Oh, this is Harry Connick Jr.'s talk show Oh yeah, he's grabbing money

Yeah, let him make the poor people grab money Haha, it's funny Yeah, that's what you want That's what you want in a country where everyone's upset about the 1% Having trillions of dollars And other people, you know, having to eat each other Yeah, just put them on TV and have her grab dollars. Look at her.

Yeah, grab as much as you can, you poor piece of shit. Grab as many dollars as you can while the crowd cheers. I mean, this is just, look at this. You having fun, Henry Connick Jr.? Garbage. Garbage. So Billie Eilish went on Stern we got two Stern stories

Billie Eilish went on Stern and said that she started watching porn when she was like 11 years old and that it warped her mind and she wishes she didn't it messed her up

and everything and all these sex workers were kind of angry at her portrayal of it. She says, I got exposed to pornography at 11, which is like every kid now gets exposed really young, especially now with computers. I mean, God, all you got to do is turn it on. Yeah, you don't have to work for

it. It's just all right there. She said it gave her nightmares, uh, which gave her nightmares. I didn't understand why that was a bad thing. I thought it was how you learned how to have sex. I was an advocate and I thought I was on, I was one of the guys and would talk about it and I think I was really cool for not having a problem with it and not seeing it as bad. So the chick liked to flick her bean

to a little porn when she was 11. It's a little young. It's a little young, but you know, nowadays I think, what is she like? She's young.

So she's of this generation that probably just grew up with the internet, you know? I mean, she's probably like, what probably just grew up with the internet. You know? I mean, she's probably like, what is she, 18 or something? 19? Billie Eilish?

Probably, yeah. Yeah, so I mean, yeah, these kids are just gonna have a warped sense of what sex is. I kind of agree. I'm gonna say I kind of agree. I think porn can kind of, there's something very unnatural

about staring at a screen and pumping your meat. You know, there's something very unnatural. There's nothing realistic your meat. There's something very unnatural. There's nothing realistic about it. There's no feelings involved. There's no touch. There's no smells. So it gives you sort of an unrealistic... The first things you're getting turned on by are very unnatural things. I agree. It can warp your mind. Like anything in an impressionable age, does that mean that porn is bad no I think when you're an adult and you watch porn it's different because your brain is kind of formed a little bit more um but yeah I mean when you're 11 10 years old like when I look back

when we started I started looking at porn like when I was eight or nine years old like it's not good it's not good what grade is 11 who knows good thing I don't know. Imagine knowing, like, that's second grade. I mean, it really, it does warp your perception of what it is. Sixth grade, dude. Sixth grade? Yeah. What are you saying? It's an adult.

No, no, but we were doing much worse. We were doing much worse at sixth grade, which is a shame, though. It's a shame because it kind of does warp your perception. I remember, like, the first time I started hooking. Do you do you remember like the first time you got a hand job and you're like this ain't gonna cut it you're like you're like this you cannot compete with my hand and you're like what are you talking about you're 12 you're like yeah i know i am like a professional jerk offer i am a pro masturbator i remember the first time I got a handjob, I was like, I was like, let me just do it. You know? And then you like close your eyes and you're like,

all right, what am I supposed to look at to get me going? Because we're looking at these like, it's like when you get too much too soon, you know? it's like you're looking at like the craziest stuff and then there's just some girl in a Catholic school dress on a rock in Prospect Park just pounding you out in the darkness and you're going like, I need more stimulation. You know, it's like doing crack and then someone going, hey, do you want to smoke a cigarette? And you're going like i need

the crack but you know part of the you know maybe we shouldn't be so repressed you know maybe it was like if they taught a sex ed in this class and just was like hey it's not bad if you kiss when you're in sixth grade or you know finger blast each other maybe if they made it like not such a bad thing maybe when people would hook up. Hooking up when you're young is not bad. You don't want to have sex when you're young because you don't want to have

like kids and stuff like that. But everyone should be jerking each other off. That should be more of a thing. I don't know about sixth grade, but yeah, I think we were doing that in sixth grade.

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, about sixth grade is when it starts, I think. I don't know. But I kind of agree with Billy Eilish on this. I got to admit. And I'm not, that doesn't go to say porn's bad because it's not.

There's no proof of that. There's actually no proof that it's addictive. What it is, it's just so much of it. Like when we were this age, there was like one tape. Yeah. Now it's just endless. And any little genre you want to get into and it really like, you can really get desensitized.

It can desensitize you. If you, you know, I think some people handle it better than others. Like, so I can't say categorically it's bad. You know, some people may not be affected by it. Just like, you know, some people may not be affected by coke. The way other people are affected by cocaine. You know, it's like constitutions vary. But generally, yeah. I mean, if you're watching anything in an impressionable age that's not natural it's going

to warp you a little bit um some more than others like i said based on your constitution but generally she has a point man she makes a point like it's it's something weird about staring at a screen and watching images you know it's it's like watching a horror movie you know it's like

you get like you don't feel what that really is it's not real you know horror movies you're watching something scary happen

but you're not there so you get like you get like a safe fear but it's like a warped it's not it's not real it's an addiction porn's an addiction well they. It's not real. It's an addiction. Porn's an addiction.

Well, they say it's not. That's the thing I read about it. It's not an addiction the same way a chemical substance is, but it does hit the dopamine like the way likes do. So it's more of an addiction tied to compulsion than it is actually like changing the chemistry of your brain the way that like a substance would, like alcohol. Because I read about that.

So they're torn on that. You can call it an addiction, but it's tied more to a personality addiction, like a compulsion. Interesting. And less like a substance addiction where your body needs it. You're not going to get dope sick

if you don't get porn, you know? Right. Apparently. Interesting. The Matri says, I've come to find out almost anything is addictive. Weed porn always gets the pass

for some reason, but they contribute to more squeaks. Omar as well says, the making a fire method is the best hand job I don't know what that means oh making your hands warm Omar is like

I'm gonna like I'm gonna check him in damn Billy's been Billy's been flicking a bean since 11 Ben Affleck went on Stern He's been flicking the beans since 11. Ben Affleck went on Stern,

and he said that if he was still with Jennifer Gardner, he'd be drinking. He basically blamed his drinking on Jennifer Gardner. They were married for 10 years. I think they have kids together. And a lot of people got upset because he was basically blaming his drinking on Jennifer Gardner. Do you know how good your life has to be when you're complaining about being married to Jennifer Gardner? If Jennifer Gardner drives you to drink, bro, I'd like to see what some of us normies have to deal with.

I'd like to see what some of us normies have to deal with. I mean, how we could do to you that you're married to one of the all-time pieces who supposedly is like a good person, like drove you to rehab. I remember like after like three years after they announced their divorce, she like drove him to rehab. She like raises his dumb Boston kids, right?

While he's out there fucking, what's her name? J-Lo and whoever else he's fucking smoking cigarettes, carrying coffees to his front door, wearing his dumb Boston hat, okay? Fuming about the fact that Matt Damon has a bigger career than him. That's why you're drinking. You're drinking because I'll tell you what,

after Good Will Hunting, if you were to take a poll of all your friends, if you were to say, okay, if you were to go to Vegas after Good Will Hunting and say, which one of these two guys is gonna have a massive career and the other one's gonna have a pretty good career? Everyone would have said Ben Affleck because Ben Affleck's the handsomer one.

He's the taller one. He's more of the, but then this guy goes and makes Daredevil and a bunch of shit movies. He goes and makes Gigli and a bunch of other garbage. And Matt Damon just crushes it movie after movie after movie the talented mr

ripley etc i mean the kids on the mars they haven't asked ben affleck to go to space but they've asked matt damon to go to space that's why you're drinking because you can't take how much more successful matt damon is in you it's got nothing to do with rachel gardner and that's not even her name. Her name is Jennifer Gardner. That's pretty low. That's pretty low to blame your drinking problem

on someone else. Imagine having that come out of your mouth. Jennifer Gardner drove me to drink. Who would you like to be married to? Susie? Would you rather be married to Susie,

who's a nurse at Kings County Hospital? Would you want to get married to Jeanette Diafafanti? We should go to my parents' house, Ben. Ben, it's my birthday. Let's go to Long Island. Ben, this is Janine. Where are you? You didn't call me back.

That'll drive you to drink. Not like, hey, how you doing? It's me, Jennifer. I understand you got to go do a movie. I do movies too. We're hot. We're hot. We're hot and rich. How horrible is it?

It just proves to you nobody's happy, right? You're Ben Affleck. You're married to another A-list star. You're both gorgeous. You're both rich. And you fart like I just did. He says, I was like, I can't leave because of my kids but i'm not happy what do i do what i did was uh drink a bottle of scotch and fall asleep on the couch which turned

out to be not the solution sounds like a decent solution to me what was the problem ben what? What happened, Ben? Did your hot piece of ass wife turn into a mother and then you had responsibilities and had to raise your kids so you felt Cajun because now you had to be a person? Now you had to think about someone else? Now you had to help somebody else raise two other people that wasn't you? You had to tend to other people's needs. What?

Maybe she had a couple stretch marks now and so now she wasn't as attractive as she used to be because now she's a mom and you didn't want to grow with someone. You narcissistic piece of trash. You Boston fan. You garbage.

Allegedly. Allegedly. God damn it I'm gonna get you cannot demonetize me for bullying I'm punching up right now I am punching up so go away from me you bot

I am making fun of Ben Affleck the handsomest man who's dating J-Lo okay do not demonetize me I've said worse about John Stamos and I'm friends with him. Don't blame drinking on a hottie.

Eat a baby like all the other celebrities. Good point. That's from Maxim V Comedy. Why are we acting like Jennifer Gardner is a smoke show? I mean, who are you, Mr. Gay Guy? That's from uh way zhong jian you're telling me Jennifer Gardner is not a piece that she's not for Rome look me in the eyes right now and tell me Jennifer Gardner is not absolutely for Rome her lips alone are like I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna whoa yeah and then there's a bunch of other people in the chat saying she's a piece she's for Rome I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, whoa.

Yeah, and then there's a bunch of other people in the chat saying she's a piece, she's for Rome. This one guy goes, why are we acting like she's a smoke show? I mean, are you kidding me? You joke. Yeah, but who are you dating, her or J-Lo? Tough one. J-Lo, easy.

That's a tough one. I don't know though. Jennifer Gordon is a piece up there with J-Lo, but J-Lo that's a tough one I don't know though Jennifer Garner's a piece up there with J-Lo but J-Lo's sexy but he already dated J-Lo before he married her he decided you know

when you get to a point where you're gonna have kids it's like yeah it's not gonna be the same now you can't just go out every night with your boys from Boston and throw back you know

and be Ben Affleck you know he probably just couldn't you know these guys can't handle not getting attention or not thinking about themselves. So once he had to like be a boring husband and raise kids, he's probably like, I'm out of here.

I got to go smoke a ciggy outside and call J-Lo on the goddamn, on the cell phone. J-Drew agrees with you. He says J-Lo all day. Put it in the comments. What do you think? Is it J-Lo all day. Put it in the comments. What do you think? Is it J-Lo or Jennifer Gardner? Talk about choosing between two great options.

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Thank you. Sarah Bulger, Rob French. Welcome. Scale Goat, Michelle Mayer, Kevin Pak, and Christian, welcome to the long haul crew. It's been a long day.