Yannis Pappas Hour - Chain Out with Paul Virzi - LongDays with Yannis Pappas - Episode 31

Episode Date: August 1, 2021

Comedian Paul Virzi (“I’ll Say This” stand up special, Anything Better podcast with Bill Burr & The Virzi Effect) pulls his chain out to talk how white leather is Italian heaven, how to draft a good guest list for a house party, his Sicilian dad’s opinion on restaurant service, rapper’s jewelry and the Obama years and two big purchases he made with Yanni behind his wife’s back.   Sponsors: Butcher Box - https://www.butcherbox.com/longdays Talk Space: https://www.talkspace.com Promo code: FUMES Manly Bands: https://manlybands.com/?utm_content=longdays&utm_source=veritone&utm_medium=podcast&utm_term=july&utm_campaign=mens-wedding-ring   For an additional bonus episode every week and more Yantent, click here and support the show: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays   The show goes out every Saturday at 9 PM est. to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!   Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis Pappas   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up everybody? Screwed in, got a lot to say. Ah, shit. It's about to be a long day. It's a long day. It's a long day. What's up, everybody? Yanni Longday's here. Another episode of Long Days. We got another chat episode with my very good friend, the very funny Paul Verzi. Welcome to Bay Ridge. What's up, dude?

How bad do you want to get out of this town? Listen, it's like I was saying before. I don't want to be disrespectful. Yeah. But for me, if you told me I had town? Listen, it's like I was saying before. I don't want to be disrespectful. Yeah. But for me, if you told me I had to stay here, it's like house arrest. And why is that? Just square footage to bother you? It's just square footage.

I need land. I can't hear. I don't want to hear people. I don't want to be around people. I'm turning into a really older Mediterranean guy where I just want land. I want to be away from people. I can't see. Do you want a little garden? I want a garden. I want land. Yeah. I want to be away from people. Yeah. I can't. Do you want a little garden?

I want a garden. I want vegetables. Okay. I want to see deer in the distance. She's hopping with their white tail far away. Yeah. My dog being there. This gives me anxiety.

Yeah. Being down here brings me back to when I lived in Queens, lived in New York City, buildings close together, houses on top of each other, cars, parking. I got anxious when we were just trying to find a spot and we only looked for a minute.

You actually said to me, you're like, how far is the walk? Yeah, like, you know me, dude. I've been up in the country for a long time and it's just how I need to live. I need acres of land and I need to be away from people. You actually are the one who was a big influence for why I moved out there to the country.

Yeah. We live up somewhere. Me and Virgie live closer to the summit. You look jacked, by the way. Do I? Yeah, you look... Yeah. You look jacked.

You been working out? No, you know, I do push-ups. Yeah. I do push-ups just to keep the titties down if I can. That's the whole point. The point is when you become a 40-year-old guy, you want, the whole point is you want the titties forward. Yeah.

And if you have to do, if you have to sit like this to keep them together, you'll do it. I've done whole dinners just like this just to keep the titties forward. Yeah, yeah.

You want to keep the titties out of your armpits. Yeah, the only, that's why you do the push-ups. You do the push-ups for the flattening of the chest, not because you want to be in shape Yeah yeah yeah

You just can't look like that You know it's summertime But you know I feel good The drop of testosterone And then just the drop In your metabolism Hold on a second My testosterone

I'm good You're good right Yeah don't put me Listen You're two years older than me Italians can't Listen you're a few years older And I still get it up

Good You're fine Yeah The old bra is old No problem But you know older than me don't listen you're a few years older than i fuck i still get it up good you're fine yeah the old brajo no problem but it's a natural drop that we all do but italians don't acknowledge it i i don't think that's going to be a problem for me yeah yeah yeah it's just not but it doesn't necessarily mean that your that your your glue gun doesn't work it just means that generally the testosterone drops a little bit as you get older yeah but there's things you could eat there's things it just doesn't apply to Sicilians it's just not going to be a problem yeah it doesn't it's not going to be I've never had you know I've talked

yeah the testosterone the testosterone drops if you're Sicilian you like you'll you fight it right back you know the funny thing is you know my dad's just like over the top 100% Sicilian if you ever even said that to him, if he ever even hinted testosterone, he'd go, no, that's for fucking, that's not for real men. Okay, I'm a fucking man. Yeah, my dad can't handle it.

He can't handle it. No, my dick works always. You kidding me? You know what's funny about Sicilian guys, like tough Italian guys, the culture's very tough, very machismo, but we were talking about this. Sicilian guys, like tough Italian guys, the culture's very tough, very machismo, but we were talking about this. Sicilian guys love having a tomato garden.

They like checking on their vegetables. You'll have like a mob boss who will like order a hit and then he'll go out and he'll touch his mint, he'll touch his, he'll touch his, he'll touch his zucchini

and say, look at these zucchini. I have an Italian, I have an Italian friend who's a tough guy who posts things like, look at these zucchini. I have an Italian friend who's a tough guy who posts things like, look at these tomatoes. Italians love a garden, but there is something where we, it's very hard for a Sicilian kid to admit any sort of weakness or vulnerability, even if it's a scientific fact. So if you told my dad like

hey man did the testosterone go down he he gets confused he go like who the fuck would do that who couldn't get a heart what the fuck are these people sick yeah you know and that's just how he is even if even if scientifically the testosterone is going down your dad is a sicilian kid from the bronx hardcore sort of like the movie movie Bronx Tale was kind of like his. My father is that. He just is that guy. Right. He's just, you know.

So he voted for Obama. But. I've said this many times. He still, he talks about the Obama administration like it was truly a natural disaster. Like he, he's actually. He's actually. Yeah. Like Katrina. Like he's been like Katrina for he's actually yeah like Katrina like

he's been like can you believe eight years that happened because that happened here yeah yeah you know he's just he just can't he's just one of those guys but I will say this like I don't want to paint my dad as some lunatic like dummy because he's like educated it's just set in his ways it's just this guy that's just set in his ways and it's not going to change right he grew up at a certain time in a certain place a certain neighborhood certain neighborhood my father was almost a lot of times i actually never told this you can't just approach your dad with critical race theory and be like hey god this is what they're teaching in school right now your dad would be like what the fuck are you talking about my father already called me up he goes you

got to get him out of public school now he said he said i go no but where i live it's okay he goes no no trust me they're doing it you know he gets real like it's coming from the inside yeah it's all part of the scheme you know my dad's just he's a wild it's not going to change but my father i actually tried to figure out like what happened and why and one thing he told me which really will leave a mark is my father was almost kidnapped when he was five years old. And I don't know what exactly, I don't know if it was who, what the ethnicity was, but it wasn't white. Right. And because of that.

Wait, he was in the Bronx? He was in the Bronx. So he was either Puerto Rican, Dominican, or black. Or maybe one of the Irish holdouts, or an Italian. You only got five options up there. Asians weren't here yet. I don't think they built The railroads yet

But I talked to him And I was like Is that you know Like you can't just categorize Like just because And he's just you know Like Sicilians Like if it happens once

It's in stone Right It's in fucking stone Right You know Right we got Right now you're hearing A little backdrop noise

That's the city They're cutting up Some concrete down there So that's just part Of the ambiance when you record in Bay Ridge, which is Paul Verzi's least favorite place to be. Because there's no deer and there's no vegetable

garden. You can't have a garden. If you lived in Bay Ridge, you'd probably have a vegetable garden on your fire escape. Puerto Ricans love a pillow. Puerto Ricans love a pillow on their fire escape so they can lean out and say hello. They love a radio on their bike. Puerto Ricans love a pillow Puerto Ricans love a pillow on their fire escape so they can lean out and say hello

they love a radio on their bike Puerto Ricans will take a bike and soup that bike up and you know what's funny it's always like a girl's bike it always has like the pole like that

and it's got the basket but then there's like a chihuahua in there a banana seat a banana seat and then there's like a woofer on the back and Italians love

white leather and they love a vegetable garden. For me... And a chain. What happened to your chain? No, a chain. Yeah, a chain's part of the costume.

Yeah, a chain's... This is like a superpower for me. If it comes off, I change. Yeah, can we just talk about me and Verzi were doing shows in Atlantic City when he first got the chain. Your wife got you the chain, correct? My wife got me the chain for my...

Now, for your father, he would say that's a little thin, right? Yeah, he goes, oh, it should have a little more mass to it. Yeah little he would call what would he call it go nice he wouldn't full-fledged say chicken wire yeah he calls him chicken wire he goes that's just chicken wire you can't what's the point you know your dad loves jewelry no i mean like my dad's if my dad was into sports the way he's into jewelry we would have bonded on game right you know my i told you my father would watch rap videos yeah for for that that's actually the god's honest truth yeah he actually said to me once he goes you know paul i don't go for this hip-hop shit you know that he goes but these rappers he goes they know their jewelry they go

they go big you think you can't have chicken wire right he likes big he goes he likes big he likes rings he likes watches that are huge so he's got like rings on his fingers and he moves around he's loaded up yeah and he doesn't like a small portion of food at all uh that's the number one yeah that's the number one for that's the number one problem right is nobody loves a cut of veal like my dad yeah okay he's a veal parm guy. That's what he does. It's the restaurants he goes to. He finds the best place. But if the portion's low, ruins his evening. It ruins it.

Early. Yeah. I know when it comes. I can look at his face. What was, you told me one story once where he got so upset that he told him that he brought his family out and that he said, you're doing this in front of my family. He's a little tough with waitstaff and he makes me and my brother a little uncomfortable. Now, your dad's kind of like Joe Pesci-ish.

He's like Italian like that. Joe Pesci, the character in the movies. I would say if Joe Pesci's character was a little shy, if that makes sense. So picture like Joe Pesci, but like if he was shy

and not as brat, like as, you know, so much like that. Right. But he would go like, he tries to do it in a private way. Right.

You know, I brought my family, I can't. He goes, can I, you know, go like, he tries to do it in a private way. You know, I brought my family. I can't, he goes, can I always, and always wants to talk to a manager and owner. Always somebody higher has to come to the table. I'll tell you a hilarious story. My father's very big on, my father's very big on pride, not being embarrassed. So I never told, told this before, but you know, the way sometimes you go to a restaurant And my father's very It's weird He's private

But he wants it the way He needs it right So you know the way At some restaurants When they find out It's your birthday They come out and sing He said if you ever

Fucking do that to me If you I will fuck He goes that will never Fucking happen with me right Like when they come And they clap like Shit like that

He doesn't want it No he doesn't want it He gets He can't You know he's a funny, like very funny guy. He's a guy that is really his own way. He's aggressively Sicilian. He's aggressively Sicilian, but he tries to do it in a respectful way, but doesn't realize.

Right. You know, so like when the portion of food is bad, like he, you know, we were at that place in Florida and my kids were there. Yeah. And Stacy, you know, my wife, she she you know who nobody wants an issue with the waiter right nobody nobody wants to go to a fucking restaurant and have an issue with the waiter right you want it to go smooth everything is good but as you would say your dad's one of those it's it's a he's one of those it's a

clock yeah me and my brother put it on a time but it's like it's like a time bomb and we're just hoping that we get through It yeah, and he actually said to the waiter he goes has to yeah, you know, he always does it nice Yeah, that's the my dad's a really really nice guy. Yeah. Yeah, how's the portion of the veal? Yeah, there's a few cut with pawns. Is it a big wedge? Big way a big wedge. Yeah, is it a big wedge? Is it a guy goes? Yeah, you know, it's a pretty decent sandwich, right? Yeah, so what is it a guy goes yeah you know it's a pretty decent sandwich right yeah so uh it comes and there's not much veal on it and it's small there's a lot more bread and i saw my dad was like having a conversation with his grandkids and i saw his demeanor change he when it came when it came his

demeanor change he got quiet yeah and he started looking around and i knew yeah but the waiter wasn't back yet yeah and my son was to the left of me and Stacy and my daughter are over there my stepmother's over there and I see the I see not only do I see the waiter coming I see my dad feel him coming and I see my dad perk up and get ready right and I just I grabbed my son I said you got to come to the bathroom you left your wife I it was like I could only grab the closest person to me to get out before it goes down. I just grabbed my son and we just went to the bathroom and I came back and my wife was beat red.

And apparently my dad was just, you know. What'd he say? I think he said something like, do me a favor. Next time, you know, remind me not to have this. Because, you know, what am I, a little person? He said midget though. Yeah. There's no way your dad used the politically correct nomenclature.

Actually, I got to ask Stacy what she said. He either said midget or little person, but he said something along the lines of like, what am I? And like, and Stacy was like, you left me. And I was like, I just couldn't, I couldn't, I had to get out. I had, I had to get out. But you know, yeah. Yeah.

You know, it's funny. It's like everyone's dad, as you get older, as you get older, you always feel like you're not going to turn into your parents. Yeah. And then, cause I, you have a little thing with the waitstaff too. Do I? It's this thing that happens when me and you were eating. Yeah.

And if the meal takes, you have a clock in your head. Stacy said I have a clock. Yeah. You have a clock on what your expectation is for when the food should come out, which when you're at a really nice restaurant, sometimes it takes a little longer cause they're preparing it, but you have a standard. And this is what happens. I see it every time.

We eat a lot. We hang out a lot. Yeah. What happens is I'll be saying something and I'll see you do a quick glance over it. You'll be listening, but then you'll be going like this. You'll be listening and then you'll go like that. And you'll look over and I'll see you that and you look you go you look over and you'll just i see you tracking the waiter you're tracking whatever and if the if the food is brought to another table that's when you go like you start you start doing the math in your head when did they

get here when did we get here yeah and then you just go and then out of nowhere you just go you go like i'll ask you something you'll be listening but you'll go like before you answer you go don't you think food should have been out here by now? Stacy said to me, I have a clock. What happens is we've eaten out enough. I've eaten out enough in my life to know when service is good and when it should be there. Okay? I think it's a window between appetizer.

The window's between six to eight minutes for the app. It's six to eight minutes. Six to eight minutes for the app for when you first order the app. Right. It's about six to eight minutes. Italians want something on the table. I mean, you need to. Yeah. You know, you actually like, yeah, you got to eight minutes. Six to eight minutes for the app for when you first order the app. Right. It's about six to eight minutes. Italians want something on the table. Yeah, I mean, you need to. Yeah. You know, you actually like,

yeah, you got to get that. You're right though because we came to the restaurant because we're hungry. So we didn't come here to sit and talk. We came to talk but there's got to be something to munch on while you're talking.

During pandemic, this is what upset me and I don't care. I'm going to use the name of the fucking place. Bearburger, okay? Yeah. I took my son to Bearburger during pandemic now okay these motherfuckers weren't making money okay

you're not making money I'm coming to your establishment to give you money when when not only are you not making money places are going down yeah places are losing people are people are getting out of jobs restaurants are down people are afraid to go out and eat I took my son I didn't get a water for five minutes. And I said, we're getting, and he goes, dad, please don't. You pulled him out? I said, please, he goes, dad, no, I was waiting.

I go, two more minutes. I said, two more minutes. Dude, you were like a manager who saw that the pitcher didn't have his stuff and you're like, we're pulling him early. I said, if we don't get a water in two minutes, you have to go. And he agreed and we didn't go

and I just walked out. I just walked out and it felt incredible. And it felt incredible for the fucking hostess to see me walk out and for all it felt incredible and it felt incredible for the hostess to see me walk out and for all the waitstaff to see me walk out because i'm sitting there with a bare table with a little boy we're hungry no water's out that's that's exactly how it gets passed down from generation to generation yeah you watch your dad do it and on that day at bear burger there will be some point where your son is on a date yeah the woman and he's going

to be listening to her yeah and then glance over at the waiter like like you do to me and he's gonna go i know it's the first date but listen we got two minutes and 20 seconds and if this waiter doesn't bring over waters we're going if ice water's not right now yeah ice water first right when i get in hey here's a table of four ice water yeah have a guy with a pitcher ice water now that's minimum yeah that's a minimum then i do like a basket of bread a basket of bread. Ice water. Have a guy with a pitcher. Ice water now. That's minimum. That's minimum. Then I do like a basket of bread. A basket of bread is nice early, but I could do three minutes with that. I could do two, three minutes with no bread.

Water now. And if that's not, it's just unacceptable. Wait, so only two, three minutes though? Bread? Yeah. Here's the funny thing. Baskets need to be ready in the kitchen for tables that sit. Yeah, and it should be hot, the bread.

A little warm. Yeah. Here's the thing. I'm not exaggerating. This is the thing. This is what you go through when you go into a restaurant. This is what you go through. If you go at Verzi, it's about service.

You like service. I do. You're into the service. Yeah. You're into the service. And when you have people over your house, you're one of the best hosts ever. So I can't knock. I can't look at you and say, you know what?

It's hypocritical because you're into the service of the place because you're top host. When someone comes to your house. I appreciate that. Yeah, it's tops. It has to be. You have to have a drink. Giannis used to come to my house. This is true.

Giannis used to come to my house and there were times where you walked in my front door. I remember the first time I came to your house and we were joking about having the. No, but did you not have, did you not have, there was one time. I had an iced tea walking up the stairs. There was one time was one your wife handed she came with the tray and we were joking about the ice clinking off the glass hand click yeah hand to god hand to god yannis walked in my house once and there was a red wine glass on the counter when you got there and i remember you grabbed it right when you walked upstairs you go wow that's what i do and that's what that's what the experience needs to be yeah and i'll tell you something, people that don't do that are fucking selfish.

You know they're selfish. You know the guy that opens the door, hey, he's got lights on his sunglasses and it's about him. It's about him. It's not about me. You've been to my fourth. It's not about me. It's a legendary party.

Somebody said to me, Jim Norton came over, everybody's like, wow man, this is really like you're trying to, it's almost like you're trying to get a Yelp review. It's not about me. It's not about me. You always go around, you go, you need anything? You need anything. I walk to everybody. You need anything?

What do you need? Because my time comes after the fireworks, when people start to leave, then I sit by the fire pit, and then that's when I drink. That's when it's about me. When somebody throws a party, if you're a good host, it's not about you.

You see me cook at the grill? That's a long time. How many burgers? I got to get 70 burgers out. Got to make sure that's good. Who wants cheese? That's a long time. How many burgers? I got to fucking, I got to get 70 burgers out. Yeah. Got to make sure that's good. Who wants cheese? Yeah.

That's important. Yeah. Okay, who wants cheese? Who wants no cheese? Yeah. Stacey's got the station. God forbid you had to do one or two Beyond Burgers, right? They brought their own?

I mean, listen, what can you do? We live in a time where vegans come over for a barbecue. What can you do? You know, somebody brings an impossible burger, I'm going to cook it for them. Right, right, right. And the Fourth of July party is legendary now. I've gone to eight of them, I think. Seven or eight of them. Yeah, it's a impossible burger. I'm going to cook it for her. Right, right, right. And the 4th of July party is legendary now. I've gone to eight of them, I think. Seven or eight of them.

Yeah, it's a big one. And I was there during the culmination of how the fireworks got bigger and bigger and bigger. And there's a story. There's a very funny story on how... Now, let me just explain to you about the fireworks, what happens. Okay.

Versailles is in a small town, about 4,000 or 5,000 people. He's got a beautiful acre of land behind him, and then there's houses next to us but it's the country right yeah so so the houses are not on top of you they're not on top of each other but they're there there's neighbors yeah versi put on a display i think it was three years ago a firework display in his backyard that rivaled what new york city does on the pier and that is not an exaggeration it was you could probably see it from neighboring states it looked like it looked like westchester county was doing their fireworks like a fair it looked like a public fireworks display but here let's talk about it took up the circumference of the sky. Well, let's talk about

the origin of it. Yeah. So, me and my wife decided, it started out where I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna have, I'm not a big comedian, and Giannis knows this about me.

I have a small circle, right? I think it's safe to say. I'm not going to the comedy basketball game. I'm not doing a comedy poker night. Listen, I love my peers. I see them at clubs. Hey, how you doing? I hope you and your family are doing well. I night. Listen, I love my peers. I see them at clubs. Hey, how

you doing? I hope you and your family are doing well. I get on stage. I do my shit. I go home. I have about five guys that like, you know, that I'm really tight with and that's it. So I said, listen, let me fucking branch out, have a little party and everything. So I live near Connecticut and they say fireworks at the supermarket. So I go, oh shit, man, they got some illegal shit. So I go to the supermarket, I buy some fireworks. We have some kids over. My kids are there with their friends. We do it.

And Chris Italia comes, Chris Italia, who part owner of, manager and part owner of the stand, he's like a pyro, so he's like, I'm gonna light him. And he's also a Sicilian kid, so he knows where to get the illegal fireworks. Right, but the first year, my daughter's three and a half. Now she's nine. The first year, we all go, oh, it's getting dark.

Let's light some fireworks. And the kids get sparklers. And I light these fireworks that were from a supermarket in Connecticut. And it was just little things off the ground. Nothing went up and exploded. And when it was done, you just heard Sophia's voice, my little daughter, she just goes,

oh, that was disappointing. For one year, I told people. This is true. No, this is a true story. Comedians in green rooms knew. I said, you come next year. For one year, I said,

I am going to right this wrong. I am going to rectify this problem. And then we put on a display of illegal rockets joe bartnick you can't talk about joe bartnick can't talk about it without actually people said they can't believe a residency yeah it was crazy it was it was and it went on so you and chris went and got the illegal ones or what yeah no yeah so so the second year chris had a guy in the bronx yeah and he just goes and we had that like italians got a guy and then but we had that ital Italian walk during the party

nobody knows this at like two o'clock the next year he goes he can come for a walk to the trunk right so me and him walked to the trunk we opened it up

and it was like one of those hard plastic like garbage bags like with the hard ones and he opened it up the construction bag the construction like they put cement

in these bags and dragged it and he opened it up and there were full fledged illegal rockets like there were it was like maybe due time yeah like maybe like the fact that he drove those rockets in his trunk yeah in the summer of my house is nuts yeah and he just opened them up and we looked at each other and we just gave a little you know you always give a little wow this italian nod yeah it's gonna be nice and we blew up the sky. Blew the sky up. You were laughing. It was crazy.

It blew up the sky to the point where the fireworks were landing on your neighbor's roof. Yeah, we did it wrong. That's how big they were. They were taking up the circumference of the sky. He said, the next day, my neighbor was really upset with me. And he said, my wife's been cleaning up, you know, even on the roof. She's been cleaning up for 30 minutes. It looked like a fuselage of an airplane exploded on top it looked like a fucking jet blue flight exploded over over two of my

neighbors houses there was like forensics fbi teams out there looking for flight parts because they were like what happened it sounded like we were getting attacked by afghanistan it was like people couldn't believe what they were seeing so now i've kept that tradition uh where they're big we kind of moved it to a side where neighbors won't get hit we go back into the yard uh they're big it's a shorter show but we do it right and uh and i have to apologize because i know you don't love it but i've i have fun with the kids but it's my fault that they i started to fuck iraq chant that's my fault that the kids start yelling fuck Iraq. I just start screaming USA.

I start screaming fuck China. That's kind of like a- It's just fun, yeah. There's a tradition that goes on during- The kids love it, but the parents don't. Yeah, there's a tradition that goes on during the fireworks show. But I just get so amped up

when it's the big girl's birthday, the fireworks are going up, the kids are going crazy, and ever since Jesse told me he went to, because Jesse's Italian, so ever since Jesse told me he went to, because Jesse's Italian. So ever since Jesse told me he went to one of his cousin's Staten Island weddings, and he got bumped at his own cousin's wedding by an Italian guy,

and then at some point they started a fuck Iraq chant. It's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Just out of nowhere, it turned into a mosh pit on the dance floor at his cousin's wedding where they all started chanting fuck Iraq. I just can't. Fuck Iraq is one of the funniest.

Well, the thing is, as we would do the show, there would be video. Your wife, Brittany, always takes video. And Stacey takes video. So you hear background stuff.

I got caught. Yeah, I got caught. And Giannis, you'll always hear Giannis either laughing like, this is awesome. But then, you know, I think there might have been,

you know, you just go. Whatever conflict the United States is in, whatever country that is, he starts yelling at them. Then he starts chanting USA. And he just can't handle it. I can't handle it. And then you scream America. Yeah.

You just lose control. America. I just lose it. I'm going America. And then I go fuck the CCP. And then I just start going fuck Iraq. Fuck Iraq. And a few times the kids got involved in it

4th of July is two things yeah okay it's barbecue it's a little alarming it's a little alarming for parents to turn around and see their 9 year old kids

chanting fuck Iraq I get it but it is the big girl's birthday and then when it's the big girl's birthday all bets are off all bets are off I said to Lucas

Lucas goes you know we were we did say some curses we were chanting it was Uncle Giannis Uncle Giannis was doing it so it's like and then that ties my hands because I'm like Uncle Giannis' fault. It was Uncle Giannis who was doing it. And then that ties my hands because I'm like,

Uncle Giannis is screaming, fuck that wreck. What am I going to do? My son doesn't even know where our wreck is. But the girls got upset. No, the girls got upset. What can you do? It's the big girl's birthday. Listen, we're free. Yeah, what can you do?

No, it's a legendary, legendary party up at the Verzi compound every year. It's unbelievable. The food is unbelievable. Back to the, what were you going to say? No, what I was going to say was it food is unbelievable. Back to the, what were you going to say? No, what I was going to say was it really is, you have to be, we talked about this. Having a party is like drafting a team. You have to make sure that the people that come to your party get along too. So if you're going to have 40, 50 people, you can't have five that don't mesh with somebody else because that is like a bad locker room in sports, right?

You're like, dude, it was good, but this guy keeps complaining about his contract and it's making the team pit. You can't have that at a barbecue. And I can't have that. I need to make sure everybody, so I've learned over eight years to have the people mesh. So it's like you gotta draft the right people

to see how they play together. It's really true. You get one or two bad apples in that party. Yeah. They really like, the ones who want to draw the attention to themselves they ruin the whole fucking party they can they can ruin a whole party yeah and and like you said your term which is the funniest there's nothing worse

than having a drip at a party you can't have a drip at a party you can't have a drip at a party some guys some girls are just drips they're drips of people you're the guy's just a drip yeah you can't have a fucking drip there i know drips at the party and no you know and then there's a then there's the type here's here's what's real bad the people at the party that make everything about them you know they they hey where they ask questions but it's really not about the question it's just they just want attention on them you got to weed them out you got to get them you'll see it though yeah like if you invite somebody two years in a row and and there's two complaints you see it yeah you gotta i mean i hate to mean, I hate to say it, a few Stefan Marbury's.

You know, just kind of discontent. If you open a fridge. Fucks with the chemistry. I love Stefan, but you got to admit, he's not a chemistry guy. Until he got with his people in the Chinese. I mean, the kid looks Chinese. He looks Chinese, Stefan Marbury. I think that was like destiny for him to be playing with the Chinese.

He turned into Jordan there. He's Jordan there. No, I think there's a statue of statue of I think he won two titles in a row out there and like he became you know he was like crying eating Vaseline on YouTube it got bad for a second he had to get the fuck out of Dodge yeah he did and you know it's funny is he like he he almost I think they maybe accepted him the way that they did because he kind of looks Asiatic if you look at Stefan his eyes he kind of looks you knowatic. If you look at Stefan, his eyes, he kind of looks Asian. I'm talking not CCP Asian. I'm talking Ali Wong Asian.

Oh, there is a statue of him. Yeah, there's a statue of him. I mean, the guy's like a Chinese hero. But he's a Brooklyn kid. He's a Brooklyn Coney Island kid. And his brothers were also nasty, but they just didn't break out like he did. But I wanted to ask you, pull up Stefan's face so we can see how Asian he is. And you can Google it at home. He's an Asian. This is for the basketball fans. But anyway, I wanted to ask you pull up stefan's face we can see how asian he is and you can google

it at home he's an asian for this for the basketball fans but anyway i wanted to get back yeah he looks asian he might even have he might even does he not look like a little asian to you he might even have some of it in the if he did like a 23 and me he probably does he probably does i bet you there's an asian that slipped in there I mean, I bet you there is. I mean, look at that. He looks Asiatic a little bit. Guys, we're brought to you again by a company that I used after I got COVID way back. You guys remember some of you who were watching from Hyenas. I started doing therapy online at Talkspace, Talkspace.com. They match you up with a licensed therapist. Talkspace, talkspace.com. They match you up with a licensed therapist. It's private. You do FaceTime, you do a Zoom, you do a Zoom episode with your therapist and it's very helpful. Don't let that stuff pile up and catch up on you. Mental health is very important. Just ask Simone Biles.

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Manlybands.com slash long days. Now I wanted to, we got sidetracked because we're having such a good time. I wanted to get back to when you bought the chain. I got sidetracked from there. So your wife got you the chain to the when you bought the chain I got side checked from there so your wife got you the chain wife got me the chain the night the wife got me the chain and gave it to me in between shows of my first special which you were at in Tarrytown was the second one but I couldn't wear it on the second show because we were worried about because it didn't match but also if there was any kind of you know so she gave it to me there yeah yeah so that

was that was so that was seven so this has been this has not been off of me unless i had to take it off real quick in in years you keep it on oh yeah keep it on sleep with it ocean with it yeah you have the whole ocean with it ocean with it yeah yeah yeah uh by the way check out uh versi special where can they find that special yeah that actually we're it's funny we were just talking about that now uh we're trying to get it's via comms uh now. We're trying to get it. It's Viacom's Comedy Central. They're trying to get it on Paramount Plus right now. There are some places that have links and streams, but I'll announce when,

so many people are asking me when they could get it. It's called I'll Say This. I'll Say This. I'll Say This. It's a Comedy Central produced by All Things Comedy. It's called I'll Say This. And yeah, we're going to try to get it available to everybody. And I'll announce now on your show,

this is the first podcast that I, because this came 24 hours ago, I'm shooting my second special September 18th at Levity Live in West Nyack. We were going to do it in another place, but just with everything going on with COVID and me traveling with this material for a while through, we want to get it out. I love the room's got the big stage but it still has that intimate feel um it's being directed by pete davidson pete what pete loved uh some of the stuff that he saw he's like i love to put my name behind this so pete's going to be making his directorial debut on it two shows september 18th at uh saturday night at levity live and uh i'm thrilled that I could do that on long days. First one, first podcast to actually say that on that's not mine.

And the first one was incredible, so I know this one's going to be incredible. So make sure you search for that old one. Also, your podcast with Bill Burr. Yeah, the Verzi Effect is what I do by myself. And anything better with Bill Burr, we do that. It's kind of like half sports, but kind of just like what we're doing here. So check those out.

My YouTube channel. I appreciate it. Check that out. Your YouTube channel is just Paul Verzi? YouTube channel is Paul Verzi and paulverzi.com has all my dates, guys. And I'm touring a ton before the 18th. Go see Paul Verzi.

Also, if you're in the New York area, there's some tickets for Levity Live right now. So when you watch this and you want to go watch the live taping, go get some tickets. Yeah. Tickets are actually in 24 hours. We did a ton of sales for the seven o'clock and 945 shows on that Saturday. So if you want to be there and you're in the area, New York, New Jersey, Connecticut area, get the, go scoop those, get your tickets. So she got you to chain in between shows of your first special and then yeah life changed for you after that chain yeah life changed for you we went and we did a show we did a show in

atlantic city and like we were hanging out at a bar after the show right and i just caught there's two times i caught versi in like very funny moments and i'll tell you about both times you know both times right i know one of them yeah so I know one of them. Yeah. So, Verzi's just, I see him, like, we're sitting at this table talking, and I see him just having a moment with himself where he's just kind of, he's kind of looking at the chain. He's kind of moving it around and fluffing it around and kind of looking at it. And then I looked at him, and he looked at me, and he goes,

this chain completed me. And I dropped to the floor laughing. He said it earnestly, like he meant. He goes, this chain completed me and i dropped to the floor laughing he said it earnestly like he meant he goes this chain completed me he picked it up like this and you moved it a few times yeah this chain completed me there's something and you meant it it completed you yeah like i realized i get why my dad is like that with jewelry i get there's something about a sparkle of gold yeah that just it just hits the way white leather hits see the thing is there's certain things like yannis has a bathroom that that uh i just had renovated yannis has a bathroom that he just renovated uh also love his kitchen but you know

how moths fly to lamps italians fly to marble white yeah they start touching it you you tell me you like if i stay at your house i want to sleep in the bathroom. I said I'd eat oysters in your bathroom. I would eat oysters. Your bathroom is so clean, white with marble that it just gives me peace. How funny is that? It gives me actual, like if I get into a dark, if I get into a car that's dark outside, but then I open and it's light white inside, I'm at peace. That's what I need.

You remember, you were with me at Lexus. Giannis was with me at Lexus. And they were like, hey, look at this one. Going to the lot with the used cars. And Giannis goes, oh, you know, look at this one. And it was like a little, you know, gray. And I opened it. And it just, it was wood and white leather.

And I just, and I sat in and it was like a glove. I was like, that's it. He sat in it and he tapped his wedding ring against the steering wheel. Yeah, see, that's a big one is this. Yeah, he tapped his wedding ring against the wood a little bit. And he was like, he goes, I'll take this one. Yeah, yeah. That's another thing ring against the steering wheel. Yeah, see, that's a big one is this. Yeah, he tapped his wedding ring against the wood a little bit, and he was like, he goes, I'll take this one. Yeah, yeah, that's another thing. A wooden steering wheel?

Well, that's how you knew the car was meant to get taken off the lot by you. It had 20,000 miles on it. The guy before had white leather, and then he put the wood in himself. He put extra wood, and it was white leather. It's almost like he dropped it off, and he said, I want you to sell this to a guy named Paul Verzi. Well, Giannis, see, here's the thing. My wife loves Giannis, and we're very close. dropped it off and he said i want you to sell this to a guy named paul verzi well yannis yannis see here's the thing my wife loves yannis and we're we're very close so you kind of take some

you take a little bit of mustard off for fastball these are great stories yeah so i gotta sell so here we go yeah these are great so there's been two big purchases yeah without any kind of talk with the wife which when you've been married 14 years, two kids, it's a fucking no, no. It's a definite no, no. Okay. You're a little more, I'm kind of, I would say, uh, not to pat myself on the back, but I'm kind of more of like the OG as far as father and husband, because I did this shit in our twenties where comics were looking at me going, what the fuck is this kid doing? So I know what to do and what not to do, but sometimes you can't lay off. Right. So, uh, well, I was a bad, I was the influence. You were the influence. I was the influence, but her, but Stacy liking you and stuff. So Giannis would stay at the house before Giannis, you know, moved, uh, out of the city. He would come up to the house.

You'd come up to the country. Here's one of the funniest things. I don't want to get off track, but Giannis being a Brooklyn guy for fucking whatever fucking whatever 40 years he came to visit me in the country and he would either text me or call and go yeah i'm like five minutes out or i would be downstairs in in your favorite room my living room and i would be like hey i'm watching so where are you he'd be like yeah and all the time he goes i'm here and and i and i don't he doesn't come in and i just i walked up and he was standing on my front step and he was like kind of half looking at the sky and he was just going. He was smelling me. He goes, I can't put the air.

So clean. He goes, I don't think you get sick up here. Yeah. This is unbelievable. You could smoke cigarettes up there. I don't think you get cancer. New York has a funk that we're so used to because we have Stockholm syndrome. It's like there's it's a mix of urine and shit. When you go to the country, you just smell the trees.

I would stand out on a spurge. I'd go, I'm here. I would take a couple seconds to smell it first. He took in the country to the point where he really took it in. He looked at the stars. He would go, what are you doing? He goes, I'm just out here. I'm just smelling this.

You really took it in. Giannis wakes up. We wake up after. kind of did some we did some drinking here's how me and yannis drink here's how me and yannis drink he has two or three like a gentleman okay and then i would have a bottle of lagavulin you'll die out there yeah yeah i would have a bottle of lagavulin and we'd start watching a doc he'd start getting drowsy and i'd be pouring at like 2 30 and he would go what do you don't need what are you sitting on the couch the night's over and he'd still be going he'd be like i'm gonna wash that

down with a cocktail then you go your favorite thing was to grab a beer after we done we'd polish off like a bottle of scotch we do a bottle of scotch and then i would wash it down with an ice cold you know it's gotta be ice cold it's painfully cold yeah or you can't do it yeah it's gotta be painful yeah so we wake up a little hungover and it's like 12 o'clock and i totally forgot that the night before we talked about going and me buying a lexus yeah so what happened was he told me he was you were telling me about the car you had you were like i think it's time to get a new car i said i got my buddy this was chad at the time i was like he works at lexus i was like he'll get you a good deal i was like let's just

go tomorrow because he's close he's like you know half hour away i was like yeah let's just go tomorrow and so we just went. So, but we almost forgot about it. Yeah. And then noon, he goes, you want to just go.

So on a whim, we show up to Lexus. Okay. All of a sudden, next thing you know, I go there thinking I'm going to look next thing. You know, I'm with the finance guy and I'm fuck.

I'm filling out paperwork. I'm filling out paperwork. I haven't talked to your wife at all. Not a word to my wife. Right. And we're both on, we're both on Geico. so geico is but we and what we have the double geico because two cars so i'm in the next thing you know he's like i could get it down to this price and before my head's spinning and i saw white leather and wood and i'm going let's just do it yeah let's do it and all of a sudden like as we're filling out paperwork i just bought

a lexus i just bought a car. And I'm hungover. I don't even know it. It's 1.30 in the afternoon. I'm buying a fucking car. I'm buying a Lexus. And all of a sudden, Stacey just goes, what the fuck is going on? You get a text. I get a text.

And I go, what? She goes, Geico just called me. Did you buy a fucking Lexus? And I was like, yeah, you don't understand. It was Giannis' friend. I got a great deal. I kept going, it's the same price as a Toyota. I kept going, it's the same price as a Toyota. I kept going, it's the same price as a Toyota.

The way he worked it out is if I went to Toyota in Malkisco. And she's going, what the fuck? Now that this is going to go up. And then I go, this is how I got out of it. I go, no, no, no, we're going to get you one too. She goes, you're going to be driving a Lexus. I got a fucking Nissan. I go, no, no, no, you're going to go.

He said he's going to help you. She's like, Paul, I go Paul I'm gonna let Giannis' friend how funny is it that she found out he bought a car because she got a call from the insurance company Geico told her

that her husband Geico told her that her husband just bought a new Lexus especially now Paul's also half Greek 50% full we're gonna get into that

so we gotta keep this Greek little soldier's helmet upright to represent the Greeks. And congratulations to the king, the goat, Yanis, who just won a championship. Greeks, we're proud of you. You have Philotimo. Greeks are number one. The world can still learn a lot from the Greeks.

And the fact that the kid just dropped a 50-piece and then went to Chick-fil-A and got a 50-piece. He said, give me 50, not 49, not 51. 50-piece. He actually talks Greek. actually talks he talks greek he's from greece he like it's weird to see a seven foot dude do you have to stay covid safe give me the 50 piece to see like a black dude who looks like he's from brooklyn you know because he's black and then he's like hello i'm from greece happy well you know i'm happy for the championship. He calls it championship. One of the greatest performances for a championship in a game like that

that you're pretty much ever going to see. And he also did something, I don't know if you know this, I don't mean to cut you off, you know what he did? He did something that nobody's ever done before. He's the only player, either him or one other person, but he's the only player i think to have 20 point quarters in multiple games of the finals he had a 20 point quarter in game two and he had a 20 point 20 what did he have in he had 23 in the third quarter in game six he's the only player to do

that but here's the thing what's yannis's weakness his weakness was a foul shot guess what i think it was what 14 for 16 yeah or it was like everything that he's he just he arrived he you know what it was it was watching the superstar that can take their team to the promised land do it and you don't always see it and it was amazing it was watching a guy who decided to stay at the team that drafted him with uh some marginal one other marginal star on his team yeah and another great defender one-time all-star the rest of the role players built around him, put on the performance that carried them with the complimentary pieces. It was nice to see in the NBA after KD goes to Golden State,

then he goes to Brooklyn to watch LeBron go to Miami, then back to Cleveland to be with Kyrie, and then over to L.A. to play with KD. It was nice to see a homegrown drafted guy. Yeah. The way it used to be with Magic and Bird and Jordan

and even the Pistons. Yeah. Just, and even the Spurs. The Spurs did it too. Yep. The Houston Rockets did it. Teams where the superstars stayed.

Yep. And they built it around them and they won or lost that way. Yeah. And he even said that and he fucking, he dragged that way yeah and he even said that and he fucking he dragged k he probably unintentionally dragged kd and lebron yeah but he kind of dragged them when he said you know i could have went to a super team played my part i want to ring but he was like

this is the right way to do it and this is the hard way to do it and we did it and that's because he has which is a greek spirit yeah which means do things the right way, have honor and loyalty and friendship and the whole thing. And it was a nice moment for America, a nice moment for people to see that in a country that has lost that. And also nice for the NBA to not only have two markets that haven't won like Phoenix and Milwaukee, but then to have a non-super team in that market do it. I think it's really good for the NBA. But I have to tell the second story. I was about to lead you right back into it.

So here's round two. Okay, so round two of... Of Verzi buying things without his wife knowing. And these are purchases he really should have talked to his wife about before. I mean, two huge ones. A car and this one is the biggest one. And Giannis was involved with both. Yes. So know the pandemic's happening everything's going crazy everybody's freaking out and i was like you know let's let's get a gun yeah so i was like maybe we should get

it maybe we should just get a gun it's not we have a lot of land listen it could be a bear yeah there could be something right or protesters coming up the hill. And since I'm closer to it, I'll just shoot whatever, you know, whatever comes up that mountain, I'll shoot it first. Well, here's one thing I could tell you. I mean, you got to protect the house. Yeah. And, you know, if somebody throws a brick in the house or steps in the house, you got to protect your family. Yeah.

But we got bears. We got wildlife. That was the angle I was using. We got wildlife up here. So, you know, Stacy was like, you know, we got to talk about it. So me and you, we started finding out that people were buying guns. Guns were getting scooped up. Right. This is when you convinced me, though.

Yeah. I convinced you to get the car. Yeah. You convinced me. I think we went to buy something else. We were going out to like. No, we went to Dick's Sporting Goods. And maybe to look at sneakers.

Yeah. And then I said, let's just go take a peek at the hunting section. So we go into the hunting section and it's bare. Do you remember? Yes. It was bare. Everyone had cleaned out. Everyone was buying guns.

People were buying guns. People were freaking out. Yo, women were online. Men were online. People were buying guns. People were buying ammo. People were buying arrows. And we're going like, holy shit.

So now that made me go, everyone else gonna be armed i'm gonna be damned if i'm not fucking armed so then i said to you i go yannis you should and you go yeah maybe i should so now i called up i was like let's talk about you go out you know what i'll do it i'll go look yeah so i called up another dicks yeah and i go listen you know we're at this one here at this mall it's wiped out you guys he goes yeah but we only got rifles and shotguns I said what time you open till so me and Giannis go for a ride to Dick's

and we go there and we just you know kind of like the Lexus we didn't expect we just took a look taking a look and then he goes

oh your first time and he just grabs a gun like this off the thing and it was almost felt like a BB gun he goes this is a good first gun it's you know

clean old little bullets what was funny about you when he said this is a good first gun you almost didn't want to get it because you're like what it was a small gun what it doesn't yeah yeah no but it was almost like your daughter's saying now that's a small gun you're like i'll get a fucking oozing no do you remember what he said he goes like this he goes well you know this one i'm just gonna tell you like this is not really if an intruder comes he actually said this if an intruder comes it might not do you know this is more for like small game like rabbits this is you know he said if you shoot a bear with this it's going to just piss him off

it's not going to kill a deer it's kind of so then that made me go maybe we should level up you know maybe we should get and you were like and then yannis grabbed it and i heard you go oh this one's perfect this one's good so next thing you know we looked at a couple other guns and we're 22 they're 22 22 rifles you could put somebody down with the 22 and we have cop friends who are like yeah you could kill someone easily. The guy at Dick's made it seem like we were buying like a- He tried to fucking almost herb us a little bit. That's a little slang from the 90s.

He tried to make us feel like herbs, but he's like, this is a good starter gun. Yeah, it was really like he made it feel like we were buying like a CO2 pellet gun. He goes, that's rabbits. That's not going to do anything. So then you got excited with that. Giannis was more happy with that. He was like, oh, you know what? This is definitely the one I'm going to get.

I kind of looked at another and then I go, maybe I should get this. Next thing you know, we're filling out paperwork. And now here's the thing. We're downstairs. So this particular dicks, you had to go down an escalator. There was no phone service. So I couldn't talk to my wife. I couldn't do anything. So do anything so they go could we just have i said what does it take to do this and they go well if you're not a felon if you don't have any felonies just give us your license

yeah so we give the license next thing you know we're at computer screens doing it we're just filtering we're just registering our weapons and then we're just registered and then all of a sudden we get a box of a thousand bullets and then he just hands a gun cleaner to us and then he goes you want a case for the go yeah let's get cases now we got these big gun cases and we got this whole thing so he goes i need to walk you with the guns upstairs to buy it and then i need to walk you to your um to your trunk and then he said and not only do i have to walk your trunk your ammo cannot be in the same location of the car as the gun so the ammunition needs to be almost in the glove box while the gun is in the back when you buy a weapon in new york you have to have the you have to have the rifle in the trunk

and the ammunition in another part of the car right yeah so separate so i go upstairs he walks us upstairs through the escalator right and uh now the service comes on the phone and stacy says where are you guys what are you doing and i just I just said, just bought a gun at Thick's. And she said, no, you didn't. You're kidding. And I'm online, like, getting the receipt. Like, he's ready to walk into the car. And I'm getting to fuck the receipt.

And she goes, I go, no, no, trust me. Just kind of like. We're going to get one for you, too. I talked to the guy. You're getting one. So I go, no, Giannis, you know, because it always helps. Yeah, she put it on me. I'm the friend that softens the blow.

Because she likes me a lot. I go, Giannis got one, too. As if that makes it okay. Yeah, and I go, you know, it's for protection. And she goes, Paul, I swear to God. And this one's bad. This was worse than the Lexus. Because it's like a big, and she's like, I can't believe this.

And like, I knew getting off that text, it was going to be like. You actually wanted, we were driving my car, I think, and you wanted me to come with you to your house first to soften the blow when you walked in with the gun.

No, but do you remember what you did? Yeah. Brittany wanted a watermelon. So I said, I'm going. So I came back with two watermelons and a gun. We took a picture of him. Oh my God, I got it in my phone somewhere. We took a picture of him. Oh, my God. I got it in my phone somewhere.

We took a picture. He's holding a gun and a watermelon like this in his driveway. So I go home. I go home, and Stacey just had that. She had that kind of quiet anger. And then the kids were there. And I go, maybe we have a little family meet. Daddy got a gun now.

So I said, listen, guys, this is a very a very you can never you'll never know where it is but if you ever find you know this is what this is for this and that and then it you know and then it yeah look at that yeah that's I mean look at that what would you do for that anything yeah anything yeah look at that yeah I could die in there yeah it's it's a lexus with white it's a lexus with white leather and wood wheel that looks like an airport lounge that looks like that the only thing that that thing doesn't have is a waitress giving you a martini look at that thing that look at that thing yeah i mean tell me how does somebody not like that i can't understand it's for my taste it's a little gaudy but i you know for my taste it's a little much it's a little much for me it is i mean but i i'm 100 greek we like to go you know yeah see for

me that's where i need to be. Yeah. I mean, right now, all you can hear is your ring tapping off that steering wheel, right? I would be in that car. I would just sit in the car in a parking lot or in my driveway. I would just sit in it. I could honestly tell you, I'd stay in it longer for road trips. Yeah. Yeah, I would. That's, for me, it's like, I mean, I'll tell you what, even that white wrapped wheel is pretty nice.

You know, it is funny, though. I was about to say before. It's funny that, like, we kind of of we turn into our parents a little bit like jesse's jesse's father's like a sculptor and now jesse sculpts he's like an artist you know drew drew's dad was in fdny fire till fire are you a volunteer fireman are you just a poker player and slash finger painter yeah but uh yeah i mean we kind of but it's not just the job. It's like we turn it, the mannerisms, everything. Like my dad, and what's funny, as you get older, like dads, there's a dad way to order food.

Like dads order, there's like a, every dad has a unique way when they go. Oh, tell the story about your dad with coffee. Like my dad would throw his glasses on like this. He would always take them off his thing and he'd go like this and he'd hold the menu like that because he had the wrong glasses yeah and he'd go and he'd ask for a 40 minute explanation of every single thing yeah every single he'd start by going like i think i'm gonna have the fish so he would start with what he wanted but then he would make the waitress or waiter tell him about every other thing and she'd go into the elaborate thing and then he'd go yeah

just bring me the fish yeah yeah and then he'd go, yeah, just bring me the fish. Yeah, yeah. And then he'd go bring the fish and my dad always liked coleslaw and extra coleslaw, wherever it was. Even if we weren't at a diner, my dad wanted coleslaw. And the way he,

if coffee, this was back before there was coffee places. There was no Starbucks. There was no cafes really. That was more of a French thing. That was before we got Europeanized

with those coffee shops. So you would have to get your coffee at diners and like places. So my dad, my dad, they'd bring a coffee. My dad was a stick. He drunk his, if you drink your coffee black, I think those people care more about the coffee because they can't drown it out with sugar and milk.

So my dad would drink it black, which is why, the reason I drink it black. It's like we turn it to our parents. So he would take a sip of the coffee, right? He would take a sip of the coffee. And if he felt the coffee was sitting would take a sip of the coffee and if he felt the coffee was sitting in the pot much like your dad if it was sitting in the pot for and he would he would convince him yeah it was just law he was like he knew so he would go he would take a sip he would wait he would hold the waiter he would make he would be so wait a second and he'd sip it

he would want he wouldn't want to wait so he'd hold in the way take a sip and then he'd go like this whole time he'd go hun is this a fresh pot and he would be he'd be motioning no as he said is this a fresh pot and even if she said yeah i just made it he'd go like this no no oh that's great and she would just kind of take it even if it was a fresh pot she would just kind of take it i'm sure she went back there maybe she even just like held the cup for a second brought it back yeah and then he was like yeah it's a fresh cup you know something yannis you made a really good point man it's like that that really is true like my dad loves a big my dad loved a big sedan you know where like christian my brother older brother christian is like christian with like

a sports car my dad loved a luxury sedan I love a luxury sedan I also notice that when I'm in a restaurant I'm doing a bit about this in the new hour where if I have an eye view of this kitchen door

no matter what conversation I'm having when it opens I have to I just have to like if I you could tell me you could be telling me

the most you could tell me who killed Kennedy and I'd be like hold on a second is that you going to onion rings like I can't so I have that those things that my dad had my mom Greek neurotic side I have that

Greeks are neurotic you know very Greeks are so it is over thinkers we're over thinkers you do become that you kind of become it in like a different it's like a different version of it but you see pieces of it right and it's really like uh yeah i think probably because my dad i probably have it in my head that when i was in a diner or a restaurant with my dad and he would be looking for things maybe that gave me the clock right maybe that just of course that's where you got instinctively it's where you made me go and it's like now that i think about it but i'm never mean you got to admit that i'm, when a waitstaff comes, I never go at the waitstaff. Not directly.

Not directly. Like when they leave. You will go loud to who you're sitting with about them. Yeah, okay. I've seen you go loud a few times to the person you're sitting to about them. Like when they leave, I'll go. Yeah, I mean, one time you were like, this woman, she shouldn't even be working here. I mean, she should get another fucking job.

I mean, it was driving you crazy. When you hit the seats and prop yourself up, when you one of those and you're like you bounce up and you go like i mean i mean why is she a waiter but you know what's funny you know what i noticed when me and you eat now when we go out and eat or you know we love a good i check the yelp review to make sure the service is good no but we enjoy a dining experience here's that's what i was about to say the funny thing is when you get older it's funny about realizing all the things you watched that your parents did that kind of embarrassed you were younger or like you made fun of and then you catch yourself doing it and you understand it more yes and what happens is

you get to a certain point especially when you cross the 40 line where like life gets better i think because you're more comfortable with who you are and it takes less for you to be happy yes which is relieving right you don't need much to be happy yeah but the things that you talk about become simpler and more important when you're young you don't care about what the waiter's doing you don't care if the apple pie is warm like yeah but, because you start to focus in on the simple pleasures of life. Yeah. So like if you get, like one time me and Paul went to a diner and we were just like, remember we, I was like, you know, we were talking about desserts and I was like, because I can't

handle a warm, the combination of a good, fresh, warm apple pie, which for some reason has left the culture. Yeah. Because I mean, apple pie is like the American dessert. It is the fucking goat. If you get a fresh, warm apple pie with a scoop of vanilla, if somebody puts like mint chocolate, I mean, it's like, I feel like in Italian being like, I'm not bringing it to you. Yeah. It goes with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Yeah. And we sat there at a diner, and I remember we had an apple pie with a scoop of ice cream, like a couple of fucking 80-year-olds. Yeah. And we were moaning every time we took a bite. Do you remember that? Yes, yes yes and we had the best time drinking coffee eating apple pie remember when we were all done you go we said you want to just sit here for a while it was an experience when you have a good when you have a good dining experience when you have a really good experience like that you kind of like i i tweeted the other day i said i was

such an asshole i used to think waiting on line for a nightclub. I waited on line for a nightclub to give $20 to go into this loud house music. You can't hear yourself think 15 minutes for a drink thinking that's cool. And your joke, which is one of the funniest things, is when you said diners are like nightclubs for old people. My dad, and it's perfect. My dad and stepmother, every Friday night, they would get the same booth in a diner.

And they knew the guy, George. George is our waiter. George knew what they wanted. And that was their Friday night. And the older I get, the brilliance of that. The fucking brilliance of Friday night. We're going to go. George is our waiter.

We're going to the diner. When life gets simple, it does get better, right? It gets better. Yeah. And also like those things that you start to concern yourself with become like the topics of conversation. It's like, cause you don't have, when you have a wife and you have a family, you're always talking about either the family.

And that's why there's always those jokes Chris Rock had about routes to work and shit. You start finding yourself talking about meals and apple pies and and things like that and it's just older conversations because those things start to meet things that you me and you were in macy's buying linens and pillows yeah i take it long i was going yeah which one is better is the one with the goose down is the goose down better for the neck i gotta bet and you're walking around with towels yes we were walking around with towels two grown men who walked out of the mall holding pillows i the neck? I got a bad. And you're walking around with towels. Yes, we were walking around with towels. You were walking around with towels and sheets. We were two grown men who walked out of the mall holding pillows. We walked out of a Macy's into a mall parking lot and both were double fisted in pillows.

We were double fisted. You had linens. You're going, yeah, this one. I hope this matches the bathroom. I think these are the right colors. I mean, in what world would you have thought that would happen? That's what happens. And it's funny that it happens.

And you find yourself. You're going like, oh, my God. These are the conversations my parents used to have and then you understand it more remember the old lady who uh dude she had like a 90 year old woman behind the counter and i bought like a bunch of linens and pillows it took her 45 minutes to get them in the bag i couldn't pull was going crazy i start pay i hold two pillows i mean god god bless her for being there you walked over you go you filling something out you buy a credit card or something i'm holding i'm holding two pillows and he's just still there and she's taking one thing and she's putting it in a bag and i felt bad i didn't mean to be mean

but i walked over after 10 minutes and i go should i go get a blanket now because it was it took it that's what you do you don't say it directly to them you say the mean thing about them to the person you're with i wasn't trying i was just like this is get it what was it was it not i mean you were pacing like you were waiting for aids results it looked like you were waiting for your coven test to come back you that's how nervous you were pacing around you're even making noises you were going like jesus christ with the i mean the woman was 93 and she was sitting there and like yeah i mean she better not make the roster for the holiday season she can't be on the holiday she can't be on a holiday rush i mean that line will be i mean kids will miss their presents yeah and it's funny you start like even when you talk about other people

you start you don't talk about you start judging them by very simple things like one thing Verzi did that was very funny but I got it because it's very meaningful oh is this the bottle yeah yeah I love this

somebody was coming to his house right someone was coming to his house little gathering little gathering right

he was coming to the party no it was actually yeah it was coming to the party and he one of them asked me they go what is what is Verzi like to drink?

What is Verzi like? Because you can't show up to a party empty handed. That's another adult rule that you learn. When you're young, you go to hang out with your friends. I can show up to Verzi's house

if it's not a party and I don't have anything. But if it's a party and you're an adult, to be classy, you got to have something in your hand. If you don't show up

with a bottle of wine or a cake, you weren't raised properly. You were not raised or a cake, you weren't raised properly. You were not raised properly. Yeah. You were not raised properly. The only way. At your house,

you won't get an invite back. The only way it's okay is if I, if somebody says, Paul, really tell me what I could bring. And I really do say, to be completely honest with you, so many people asked,

so many desserts and bottles are coming. Please just bring yourself. And if I mean that, then that's one thing. But you still got to bring, even if the person says. But, but if you, yeah, it's like, so, so go ahead. And if I mean that, then that's one thing. But you still got to bring, even if the person says. But if you, yeah, it's like, so go ahead.

I was about to say, you know, the Jews, they mark their adulthood by 15 or 16, you have a bat mitzvah or a bar mitzvah, right? But I would say all people, you mark your adulthood the first time you bring something to someone's house for a party.

That's when you're officially an adult. Because you can get away with that shit when you're 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. Once you start hitting the high 20s, and you get invited to a party, there's got to be something in your hand. Like if I invite Drew over, he's 23. If he forgets to bring his mom's famous spanakopita, I'll look the other way because he's 23. You're a Greek kid?

No, but his mom makes spanakopita. My aunts all marry Greeks coppita like my aunt's all married my aunt's all married greeks so like half my family's greek so and greeks especially know that greek in the greek culture it's a big thing you gotta you can't come with empty hands yeah right but that is the moment you know you're an adult yeah when you walk into that first party and you got something in your hands so this is versi for you right here and this is the adulthood where you start but But you loved it. It's the best.

Yeah. It's the best. So the guy asked me, because it's a mutual friend of ours, he goes, what is Verzi like? So I asked Verzi. I was like, hey, this person, what you like, I'm about to tell him because I know the wine. And Verzi goes, don't tell him. I want to see what he brings. True story.

Yeah. You wanted to find out how much class the guy had. I would rather the gamble. I would rather the gamble to know who it is. Yeah. I want to know who he is. Yeah. You want to know about him.

I want to know. You'd rather not get what you want. Yes. And find out about him. Find out about him. Yeah. Find out about him. Because if he showed up with like a box of Dunkin' Donuts.

Yeah. I mean, he brought something, but you're saying, all right, this is a low-class kid. Yeah, right. So Giannis says to me, yeah, he goes, well, he wants to know what kind of wine. I go, no, no, no. By the way, whoever this person was went beyond.

I want to say this. This kid not only crushed it. We can probably say who it is just because it's so fun. I mean, it's like he crushed it. But I love him anyway. And he was like, yeah, what do you think I was getting? But no, no, it was above and beyond. But here's one thing that's unforgivable. I mean, he went above and beyond.

Above and beyond. And then you came to me actually at the party. You went, that's what he bought. He did the right thing. He did the right thing. But here's what's unforgivable. No coming back from. Yeah.

And dead as far as any kind of interaction. Yeah. You come to my house. you bring something and take it back listen to me wait that's that's like that should be a misdemeanor listen that should be a misdemeanor you come to my house with cookies a tray of cookies okay let's say there's 100 cookies on a fucking tray yeah and 58 of them were eaten yeah okay if you leave with what 42 cookies you're never coming back right if you if you start packing up yeah the stuff that you brought yeah and you leave it is my little brother my little brother's friend has class he's been a friend of our family since he he was oh the kid that you met in the driveway they've been so my little brother and his friend Dennis,

they've been friends since they're five years old. Dennis showed up with a 12 pack of Medellos for him. For him. Just, I'll drink this and whoever wants one.

And the kid drank like two. It would have been very easy for the kid to take all his Medellos and they were just on my counter when he went there. Not that I care.

No, no, no. When you bring something, you don't bring your thing. You're giving it as a gift. Right, no, no. But he just brought it for those two to drink right could have easily said i'm gonna go to my house now and drink on my deck and brought his and it would have been fine but he still didn't to to actually purposely the whole point of me saying this is to purposely bring a

cheesecake and then what's not eaten leave yeah it's it's it's actually it's might be the one of the most unforgivable social interactions. Right. Yeah, I would go, it's not even a faux pas. I think it should be a misdemeanor. It should be something like you called the police. Yeah. It happened to you once. Yeah.

It happened to you once. I was there. It's an unforgettable story. We've never told it on this podcast, so we might as well just tell what happened. I mean, it happened to you. I've never seen it. I've never heard of it. I was shocked to see it happen. Yeah. When somebody brought a dessert and then yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, so what happened was I'll try to do this. I'll try to do this as good without getting too hot about it without getting too hot. Not, you know, I don't want to mention names. So years ago before Giannis lived up there, when Giannis was visiting me, he was just starting to date his wife. They came up and my wife had some family friends, some people she worked with that came to the house and they made a very popular dessert and Greeks love the dessert. And she has said, I make this really-

And she wasn't Greek. No, she was not. Which is shocking. She was not Greek. Not Greek. Not Greek and says, I make this great thing and she made this un... But we looked at each other.

She added like cinnamon. Giannis goes, I said, probably one of the best things and they had it in a big Tupperware thing. And we're just eating it and it's amazing. And everything is so good and Giannis goes, we're going, can you fucking believe? This is like everything. It was incredible. This is like I can't believe. So the night goes on right the night goes on the sun starts going down it's time for people

to leave and i just hear all right get the rest of that and put it in uh put it and i'm i thought it was i was i thought they were fucking with me no no i actually i actually i i actually thought it was a joke i'll be like imagine that you imagine that. You know, like, could you imagine? And then all of a sudden, I start seeing the Tupperware get filled. And they're looking for the rest. And then they load it up and go, well, you know, we're taking this with us. That's how good. And I think I even went to the window.

I think they started backing out. And I was just waiting for the car to stop. And, ah, fuck, could you imagine? And I couldn't believe. And you were so stunned. I mean, could you imagine that? Could you imagine like, oh, these are my famous,

let's just say these are my famous stuff, Danish. And they come in with them and then there's like seven Danish and then they go get the box. And I actually couldn't believe, you were shocked. Well, we talked about it so many times and other people, we've talked about it with other people

because it's such a funny thing. Some people tried to figure out, it's a fun way to try to figure out how you would excuse that. I say there's no no excuse but someone came up with what if they had to go to another party does that still bad but when like what if that night was what it would have never been that night it wasn't too late when they left it could what if they had to go to another party and they were like you know we brought this for here and then we're bringing the rest that would be crazy to bring used desserts to another

party tour is there any scenario i think it's okay i'll be honest i'll take it i'll take it this far that's worse yeah that's worse that's worse you fucking double up yeah you double dip the shit you made for another party it's terrible right you can't do that that's terrible we're gonna bring half a chocolate cake to another fucking party you can't do that no say oh the first party loved this cake yeah i hope you enjoy it too there's still still a couple slither, what do you call slithers left? Couple slithers. Whenever I have a dessert, I always say, just give me a little slither.

Because I'm trying, it's funny how everyone tries to minimize the dessert because they know how much you're eating poison is going to kill you. And it's like fattening. People are like, yeah, just give me a little, I'll take a little taste. Here's the thing about Giannis.

I want to talk about Giannis for a second because this is what's really funny with Giannis. Giannis is really critical. He's really critical. You're really critical about places. And if it's something you're not used to, like you're not used to restaurants that aren't in the city that are good. So when you go to a place, you always compare it to the city. Yeah. Yeah. But here's what Giannis does when he tastes either wine or a coffee or a cocktail he was gonna does you go you always you always like kind of let it wash but you're critical sometimes you can make listen it's a very critical this is dog food this is my this is dog food I call it dog food

he'll call it dog food but he'll call it dog food if it's a six or a seven yeah I call it dog food he'll call it six or a seven dog food but you do appreciate when it's good

when it's good I got high standards for that part of that is growing up in the city the restaurants are so good you know you call it dog food but I am very critical and that's why it was so

scary for me to marry my wife you walked me through that whole process yeah if it wasn't for versi i don't know if i would have been able to go through you were like you were like uh a mentor or like a guru you walked me through the whole thing you said look you told me what to do because it's a very stressful experience very especially when you have issues you're a comic or whatever yeah get married's a big thing he verzi took me to his dad's jewelry guy yeah right i took you to the diamond guy i took you to diamond you remember remember that you know what it was this is the best way to describe it remember the

opening scene of top gun when the kid's freaking out and he's crying and he's looking at the picture of his wife and kid and maverick realizes something's wrong so he spins around and then he just takes them in together and he talks them into it that's exactly what you were just panicking you were freaking out your your fears were coming and i'm going buddy buddy buddy you're in your 40s okay you love the what are you where are you going that's what i like what are you doing yeah you know where are you going this is the girl you're gonna be what are you gonna be 50 years old living in a fucking stint and you were just like yeah you know and then you just uh and then you just took it you just did yeah but you walked me through the whole living in a fucking and you were just like yeah you know and then you just and then you just took it

you just did it yeah but you walked me through the whole part you took me down you held my hand the whole way yeah you were like

I'll take you to the jewelry because I was like how do you even do it like I didn't even know how to do it I could never imagine myself walking to a place and being like

I didn't know anything about jewelry you gotta have a doctor friend yeah you gotta have you gotta have and you gotta have an Italian friend

to walk you through an engagement ring. I wouldn't know if I was getting ripped off what a carrot is. I don't know anything about jewelry. I don't care about all that stuff. Yeah, I took you to the guy. Yeah, you took me. You were looking. You're like, it's one carrot.

It's your dad's guy. You're like, my dad probably bought $100,000 worth of jewelry from this guy. You kept telling me. You're like, this is the guy that Heavy D goes to. No, it was. You kept telling me. You were like, yeah. Who was it? It was. You were like, Chris Rock it it was uh you like chris rock borders ring here chris

rock there uh tupac was in there steve harvey was in there yeah he's yeah he's down in the diamond district black kids black kids and italian kids love fucking jewelry it's what you got in common you love fucking jewelry yeah it's hilarious yeah this is my favorite piece yeah what is it it's no it's it's a 400 350 swatch that I got in Berlin, Germany when I was there. But it's just sleek, nice. But this is a nice compliment to it. So when you watch them both. Yeah, they come together.

Oh, that's an Italian guy during the pandemic with gloves on, but the jewelry outside of his medical gloves. So you walk me through it. You took me to the place. We got the ring. And then the ring was delivered to your mother-in-law's house. You held the ring for me,

brought the ring to me. And he told me, hey, just relax. All you got to do is, what do you say, put on a monkey suit. You walk me through that because it gets stressful.

Women get crazy about the weddings. They get crazy. It's stressful. But can I tell you something? You got to just stay away from that. But can I? You do. You put the monkey suit on and that's it yeah i made a very rookie mistake when i first was getting married when i first was doing it i tried to be involved for a second and i think

it was more of like a not a power play but i didn't want to be like the fucking asshole completely in the dark and then i realized you know what man let them pick the food let them i'll just give my two cents but you ruined the first half of your wedding for me yeah because janice called me and said hey man like if you want to make a speech uh then you could you could make a speech but totally like if that's gonna like ruin your time or make you think about it you don't have to and i'm like no no and then i got so freaked out by it i got so nervous and freaked out by it it's a big gig I told I told especially those comics they're huge gig yeah and uh and I told Stacy I go you know what I might just tell him because he seen he was very nonchalant so I don't think and she goes Paul he fucking just told you that because that's what you're supposed to tell

your friend of course you have to do it you're not fucking I go no no I'll probably do it and you know the wedding was fun at first the pictures were fun but then once the cocktail hour came you start people were people and and you know me i'm big on oh i gotta talk about the dessert room we gotta talk about that before we wrap this puppy up but uh but you know so now that we're at the cocktail hour and you had nice stations of the cocktail hour i can't i can't focus yeah i'm going oh dude i gotta you know like it was almost like doing a set. Yeah. Big wedding, too.

Big wedding. I'm sitting, you know, you had like us were close to your table. My wife is there. You know, probably what, 25 of the funniest comedians on planet, 25 of the funniest comedians in New York City? Yeah, give or take. Yeah, yeah. Give or take. A few are questionable.

But there's a lot of funny people in there. A lot of funny people. A lot of funny people in there. And I'm just going, all right. And I thought about some things. And then, yeah. And then I got through it. And then when it was done.

Oh, you crushed it. It was the perfect speech. Even Jesse's nodding. I mean, you crushed it. It wasn't too long. Yeah. It was perfect. You brought up the perfect story to tell.

I mean, it was perfect. No, no. With my dad there who was like on his last leg it was like a perfect speech and then you ended it with a joke yeah and the joke hit hard yeah the joke hit off yeah but the bet like when i got back i had you go last my brother went before you see that's the other thing that's the other thing now i'm going you gotta have a comic go last you want to know the truth this is the real truth i got a couple people got in my head and i remember uh chrissy d got in my head because he goes oh you know the brother his brother peter's probably you know he's good the way he's into fashion and stuff he goes he's gonna say some really he's gonna probably crush and

all of a sudden i'm thinking like oh like his brother his brother's gonna and his brothers was great but i'm going last in front of comics and i'm going what do i and i go all right speak from your heart. Say what you want to say. Just stick to it. And I did it. I remember I sat back and Rachel Feinstein just leaned over. She goes, you're a class act.

Right? And I remember. But then when that was done, when that was done, and that's the point of the story. Like, you know, I would say. You were also kind of walking around like an all-star because, like, you crushed. But when it was done, I was able to, like. Enjoy it. I was able to go, now I'm at a wedding. Now I could drink.

Because there's nothing hanging over your head. There's nothing hanging over your head. You don't have to. And it also let me know if I ever have to do that again. Okay. But the dessert comes in. And this is what I wish. To this day, I wish.

You left before the dessert room, right? Oh, Jesse, yeah. I remember you left early. The dessert room was crazy. My in Jesse, yeah. I remember you left early, yeah. The dessert room was crazy. I've never- My in-laws with desserts are just insane. It's one time I was at a social event where I just wanted my father because my father would talk about it forever.

It was, they go, did you go see- Comics still talk about it. No, no. It's an absolute sin that you don't have pictures. It's a sin. He goes, oh, go in the dessert room, go in the dessert. I walked in. We're at this beautiful castle, and we walked into a sin. He goes, oh, go in the dessert room. Go in the dessert. I walked in. We're at this beautiful castle.

And we walked into a room that was gigantic. And it was wall to wall around the walls. It was like, I'm not trying to be funny. It was like a Disney movie. It was like a cartoon Disney movie where there's just so much. It was cakes, cookies, more cakes, mousses, pastries, pastries cakes cakes it was just i couldn't but coconut cake chocolate it was and and it was hundreds of people could have could have had everything right it was i couldn't believe what i was seeing and i was just going this is the most

i've never seen anything like this yeah it was crazy it was it was i wish that people could see pictures of it it was something how funny is it i'll die i'll never forget it i will never listen i'll never forget that i will never forget the options it was It was something, how funny is it? I'll die. I'll never forget it. I will never listen. I'll never forget that. I will never forget the options. It was, it was almost like what it felt the closest to what it felt like of a bank robber being in a vault with all the money and no cops. It was, it was, I couldn't actually believe it. It was canola. You could grab a cannoli. If I just put my hand here as a cake, I put my hair as a cannoli. It was, it was, it was wall to wall cookies. It was incredible. It was crazy. It was, I wish my father saw it. It was it was incredible yeah like that wedding that you said you wish i saw oh god i i wish that other people could see that yeah yeah yeah it was it was

wall-to-wall that it was wall-to-wall it's like you walked into a but it was bigger than a sweet store it was it was a massive room it was like you walked into four bakeries yeah it was a massive room dude and it was like like wrapped around the entire room. It was wrapped around the entire room of dessert. Normally people's cocktail hours with all the food and stations, that's what it was for dessert. If there was somebody pre-diabetic, you had to stop them at the door. You couldn't walk into that room if you had pre-diabetes

because you could die in that room. Yeah, it was yeah it was ridiculous it was crazy there was a moment at my wedding that was really funny too we were um we all got our tuxedos together and so we were just hanging out in this room because we had to you know all the people in the wedding party had to get ready together and verzi had a suit on and you know he would so he was just no tux, tux. Yeah, it was a tux. Sorry, it was a tux. And it was in a castle.

It was in a castle. So I just. Versus was kind of walking off on his own. He was just by himself and I was just watching him. And he was getting on his toes and he was. He kept adjusting the thing. He was putting his head up. And I was just watching him enjoy being in a tux he was just having he was having a moment

where he was like imagining he just enjoyed the classiness of it he was just like touching it no you said one time i went on my toes you went on your toes one time and you're looking down at the shoes and you were like almost checking yourself out you're looking at yourself in the mirror i saw you like the reflection of the windows. You were just kind of, it was almost like you were imagining what it would be like to be in that tux. And on the castle.

And I was looking, you were contemplating like bombing countries or like. Remember you saw me looking out at the garden? Yeah, you were looking at the garden. As if I had a big decision to make. And you were, yeah, you were throwing your hands in your pockets. With the thumb out. With the thumb out.

With the thumb out. And I caught you and I said something to you and I was right, no? Yeah, no. I was right. You caught the moment perfectly. It was so funny. I was just, I was decked out and the tux fit good. Yeah.

And I remember just, I was looking at everything and then I kind of just went and I had this moment of like if I was like a world leader. Like I was looking out like as if this was my empire. I've never seen someone enjoy wearing a tux. You just enjoyed being in it, right? I enjoyed being in it. I enjoyed the watch with it. I enjoyed the cuff link, like the whole thing. You were enjoying it.

I enjoyed it. Yeah. One other moment I caught you, which was real funny. Me and our wives, we went to a Yankee game. We're sitting down. This was real funny me and our wives we went to uh a yankee game we're sitting down this was so funny we were at the yankee game and i took we took a photo for the gram right just the four of us so i took a photo right i took a photo and versi was clearly not happy with how he looked in the photo but as a guy you can't say you don't like the photo so he goes

he goes I could see I knew it but he goes he goes yeah he goes you know take a few more

so you can send them to me and I went you tried to hide it you're like yeah just why don't you take a few more so you can send me a couple I was like

I got one and then I caught I was like and then I told you I was like you want another book because you didn't love the way you looked at it

and you started dying laughing because you can't if you're one? Because you didn't love the way you looked at it. And you started dying laughing. Because you can't. If you're a guy and you don't like the photo. I can't be like, yo, I look fat. I don't like how I look. How you doing? But if you just say something, just get a couple more. Say everybody.

It was like when I took that photo last week with Kelsey. I mean, I look like a special needs kid. It looks like she's walking me to a zoo or something like that. But I couldn't say that there. I just had to to accept the photo i just had to accept that that was going to be the promo photo i mean it looks horrible so it was real funny oh shit but thank you for walking me through that wedding man you were my maverick yeah listen dude you got it like comedians especially it's hard to commit to get like a real life i think comedians all have their damage they all have their you know everybody's got their shit but for a comedian i think a big

reason why comedians have a hard time is because everything that we do is our control when we're on stage whether we're killing or bombing it's on us our career is on us everything that we do is on us it's kind of a very alone type of career and then all of a sudden now you're bringing this now you know marriage means somebody that you have a union with a complete stranger by the way i mean that yeah that's what i said that in my first hour yeah yeah i said you're basically you're basically telling a complete stranger to intrude on the rest of your life right right it's actually if you think about you never knew him right and they tell you what to do and everything you're like

you're a complete stranger you're you yeah i invited a stranger to tell me where i'm gonna eat and how i'm gonna live yeah yeah yeah yeah like, I, I should be able to buy a Lexus and a gun without having to talk to anybody. Right. Right. Right. But a stranger is now scolding me because of it. Right. But, uh, but no, man, it, it ends up being the best. So, and I'm glad it worked out. Yeah. Well, thanks coming down and doing this, man. I just, I just had a Yanni button. Thanks coming down and doing this. Thanks for coming down and doing this. Dude, always a pleasure, man. You're my guy. Yeah.

So check out Paul Verzi, all the things we mentioned. Definitely go watch that special. Just Google it. I'll say this. Look out for his new special coming out. If you're in the New York area, get tickets. Yes. For the Levity Live.

Listen to the Verzi Effect, his podcast, which is his solo podcast. And definitely listen to his podcast with Bill Burr. Anything better, yup. Anything better. And follow him on all socials. When does this come out? This will come out in two weeks, not this week, but the next week. Okay. So yeah, I'll be in Omaha, Nebraska. I'll be in early September. I'll be in a Salt Lake city wise guys. I believe that's September 3rd and 4th. I'm going to be in Philadelphia on the 15th. Uh, all of the dates have all ticket links on paulverzi.com, but I'm doing a big tour leading

up to a ton of cities, Austin, Texas. So just go to paulverzi.com and you can get everything. And thanks for having me, guys. You guys are the best. YannisPappasComedy.com for my dates. Patreon.com slash YanniLongDays. Go get your weekly bonus episode of Squeaky Clean and other bonus content. Tell your friends.

We'll talk to you next week. I want to remind everybody to go write a review and rate Longdays on iTunes. Write a funny review. Maybe it'll get read on the show. If it's funny, make it positive. You know what's the dollars. Also, guys, tell your friends about the show And don't forget

Patreon.com Slash Yanni Long Days Right now We got a bonus episode With Mr. Panos And Tim Dillon up there Called Panos and the Pig

Which is just crushing The weekly episodes Of Squeaky Clean That people love Hop in the tub with us And of course All the character piece jackets. I'm Sean Tyree and the guys.

So go to patreon.com slash yannylogdays. Okay, Jesse. Are you ready for the fucking small business shout outs? We got our boys. First of all, the GOAT, Mike Milanoff, the Bulgarian cat strangler. Go check out his Instagram, Thix Nation. You know the deal. I've been reading all the comments you put on his photos and it's worth it. So please guys, go take those long hauler sense of humors. Take that long days

fan humor that you have to cut me up about my eyes. Okay. Someone just sent me a monocle and said, should I buy for you? So, you know, it it's like a one one of those things you do like this they say should I buy so I want you to go and I want you to give uh Mike Milanov that love because his pictures are fucking hilarious the kid looks like a cat strangler so I go read all the comments you go put and I'm gonna read the best comment on his phone. And Mike, can you keep posting photos, dude? You stop posting. We know you like to shop. You're a shopper. All right. You got fucking Burberry shit. Keep going. I want to see those fucking big glasses and that sociopath face. So go to Thick's Nation and follow him on the gram and write funny

comments about the photos. best captions get read on long days so uh he's the king he's the king he's the only glue gunner we have at that level the kids got ducats so he gets a special shout out and your video's coming leave me the fuck alone okay i have to mentally wrap my head around the fact that i'm gonna throw a fucking video about you on my page anyway fuck you someone's calling someone's calling, who cares, Eastside Cheesecakes, I think I'm personally responsible for their success, because now they're available at Uncle Paulie's, Eastside Cheesecakes, you know who it is, Julia and Gregory, eastsidecheesecakes.com, if you're in the Los Angeles area, go get yourself an Eastside Cheesecake, like my man Omar, who's

like a crazy long hauler. He went and got it. And they're available at Uncle Paulie's. So go get yourself. They're fucking delicious. Me and Jesse were blown away. Shout out Julian Gregory. Follow them on the Gram Eastside Cheesecakes. Joseph DeMonte, we heard you may be leaving.

No, say it ain't so, ma. I hope you stick around. But if not, go to Blue Agave on 3rd Avenue in Bay Ridge. Support that business. It's beautiful. It's our favorite restaurant in Bay Ridge. Blue Agave, Bay Ridge, all one word on the gram. Then, of course, we got techvera.com. These boys are screwed in. If you got a small business and you need IT support, instead of hiring individual IT personnel, you can hire techvera at techvera.com to do all your IT needs, right? You want to encrypt shit. You want to protect your website. You want to build something. Techvera.com handles

it very easy, very screwed in, and they're doing well. Proud to have you, techvera.com. Thanks for the shout outs. Then we got, of course, exclusiveautoshipping.com. You know what the deal is. You're moving somewhere. You got to move your wheels. You know someone that's moving somewhere. You remember, oh, I listen to Long Days. Let me tell them to go to exclusiveautoshipping.com because Jared, the most screwed in Jewish kid that we know,

is going to give you a nationwide free quote. So no matter where you're moving, he'll give you a free quote and he'll move your fucking wheels, whatever car you have, whether you got, you know, a hoopty or you're moving to Tesla, he'll do it. Rob's mental playground, baby. I feel like I got a, before, I should read these from mental institution, just for context. My favorite Rob's mental playground, bro. Go support Rob,

buy a print from him, a t-shirt art. I love supporting local artists, small business artists. This kid's looking right here. That's a Rob special. That's a hyena in a bathtub. And that hyena is me with glasses on. He's got glasses. So I commissioned that from Rob. I didn't pay him because it's promo, baby. You don't get fucking no money from me, Rob. You get promo, you fucking crazy honka-tonk. So go support Rob at robsmentalplayground.com. Follow him on the gram, Rob's Mental Playground, YouTube, Rob's Mental Playground. You know the freaking deal. We got some newbies here. Let's just talk about our favorite, Chris Minetti, who has still not sent any copy. He said, I heard it. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha. I heard you make fun of me

on the episode. Ha ha ha ha ha. And then he didn't send copies. I don't know what I'm supposed to be shouting out except for you, Chris Minetti. You're a sauce monkey who loves his mother. Then this is a very cool new small business shout out. These are the ones I love. TheBronxBand.com, dude, you want to support artists, thebronxband.com, much like forthefree.us in Hawaii, is supporting local artists in the Bronx, the home of hip-hop, dog, my hometown Brooklyn shows love to the Bronx, and Bronx keeps on making it, Queens keeps on taking it, right, Brooklyn keeps on making it, and Bronx keeps on making it. Queens keeps on taking it, right? Brooklyn keeps on making it

and Queens keeps on faking it. That's back before ISIS when we had beef between boroughs. So thebronxband.com. Go there. You can support a local artist. You can buy a print from them. You can buy their music.

You can find out about them. It's awesome, dude. Bronxband.com. Please go peruse the website alright you're a fan of the show please support these artists this is what's so cool

about Long Days and why I love doing this is because I want you guys to learn about these other artists and a lot of them got cool stuff look right here I got one on my wall

right there's one behind the camera who likes to finger paint then we got Squeegee Luigi he also has not sent copies so send send your copy, guys. I don't know what your company is. All I know is your name is Squeegee Luigi. So I'll be waiting for him and Chris Minetti to tell me what I'm fucking shot now. Then, of course, we got ForTheFree.us. They're doing that in Hawaii with bands. Go to ForTheFree.us. Discover some cool Hawaiian artists.

If you're going to Hawaii they'll tell you about events performances all types of stuff so this is everything you need to know about music in Hawaii is at forthefree.us yes I write all this stuff on paper plates

because I am insane okay you know what time it is man it's time to welcome our newest long haulers over there at patreon.com slash yann long days if you're not over there you're missing a lot of fun that's all i'm gonna say it's up to you you live your life how you want to but these are the guys you'll be hanging out with the guys and girls if you join empty glue gun due to sweet cornhole. That is an automatic Hall of Famer.

Okay. He's got an empty glue gun because he met a sweet cornhole. So somebody smashed being emptied out his fucking bullets. That might be one of the best of all time. Empty glue gun due to sweet cornhole. Then we got Carrie Thompson. Just a nice girl. Who doesn't want any part of this drama. Then we got Carrie Thompson, just a nice girl who doesn't want any part of this drama. Then we got El Tres.

Then we got Patrick LaFrance. Calévre. Calévra. Welcome, Calévra. Then we got AP. Automatic Hall of Famer. AP. Clitocurrency.

A.K.A aka Jojo Schwina. Dude, Cryptocurrency, if you would, Jojo Schwina, here's the deal with one that's this good. Let me explain this and you guys know this. AP Cryptocurrency would have maybe been the best of all time right there. Jojo Schwina on its own also would have been the best of all time. You put them both in there, guy, you are, I'm calling it right now, the number one, everyone's chasing you because cryptocurrency is, and Jojo Schwina is just a chicken finger. That's a combination of a fucking home run and a chicken finger.

Then we got a good Greek kid who still lives with his mother, Gus Zvastos. Welcome, Gussie. Then we got, okay, I'm sorry about cryptocurrency. You may have some competition because now we got another Greek kid whose name is Wanas Succidiculus. Welcome, Wanus Succidiculus. Wanus Succidiculus. All right.

That's a nice Greek kid for you. All right. There we go. There we go. to suck ridiculous all right that's a nice great kid for you all right then we got oh god this one's cuz this might be the best fucking list we had all time then we got when china takes over it's gonna be a long day those are the three of the best those are the three best ever god there's no winner you guys are all up there everyone's chasing you uh that's like the sammy sosa mark mcguire and ken griffey jr they're all like fucking hitting homers then we got a nice muzzy kid uh uh, Hasib Khalid, so welcome, assalamu alaikum, then we got Nick Hocking, wasp, then we got Speaksies Steve, Speaksies, that's, that's a Drexler, because you're just with Jordans, otherwise that's a nice chicken figure,

then we got Nick the Greek, but my girlfriend's Puerto Rican, so my family's disappointed in me. Welcome, Nick the Greek. That's funny. Then we got, you must love my comedy though, Maurice Empanos. Is that what brought you guys together? Then we got Aravind Vancheson. Aravind Vancheson, some type of Armenian kid, I guess. Then we got Squeegee Luigi, which is a funny name, and he's a small business shout-out, but I don't know what he's doing. Maybe he's selling squeegees. Or maybe he's Luigi, so he's selling, like, fucking Manigat or something. Then we got Valerie Roberts.

Very nice, Valerie. Then we got Curtis Flores. Then we got If Giannis Pappas keeps eating Dolmades, he's going to look like a hippopotamus. Good, good. But you're just on the list with Jordans. Then we got Logan. Welcome, Logan. Then we got Chris K. Daniels. Chris K. Daniels, welcome. Then we got Father Father Bill, y'all, dude, that was there for the taking this whole time, that's a funny one, but you guys are upstaged by the Jordans, Drexler, Drexler, then we got Cole CTE screwed me, see, Cole CTE screwed me in McDowell,

kids got CTE, it's the perfect podcast for you, then we maddie then we got larissa carmona peace then we got james m fitro then we got kevin carlos rivera zach reinhardt bart murphy and we got some more we got some more then we have plate spinner then we got jeff zach august johnny the germanic glue gun quarter cigar monkey but i can swim it's what it is so i guess that means he's he's german and he's uh he Cigar Monkey is a funny, that's a funny one for a Cuban. Then we got a Yamin. We got a half African.

African. Welcome, dogs. Yamin, what percentage are you? Are you Sean King? Or what was the deal? Are you Derek Jeter? Then we got Jamble98, Alex Hewson, Jonathan Yenny, Andrew Pandolf, Darren Vermack, Kyle Gregory, David Back, Tim, Aaron Purdy, Victoria, Hudson Bissell.

Welcome, guys. Dan Desolets. Dan Desolets. Welcome, Dan Desolets. Then Dylan the Potato Monkey Donahue. Good Irish kid. Then we got Theo, another Greek kid. Then we got Devin Ruppard.

Nick the Half Greek, Half Russian kid. Welcome. Then we got another Sandra Dee. Tamim Al-Talabani. Sandra D. Tamim Al-Talabani. Comes with a side of hummus. Then we got Christine.

Freddie Meisner. Freddie Meisner. Jonathan Good. Mike. Eric Henning. Philly Abutyup. Philly Abutyup. Welcome, Philly Abutyup.

Then we got Justin Case. Tony G, Nico G. Isn't that funny that Tony G and Nico G are back-to-back? Then we got Brandon Hayes, Dark Mythos, Joseph, William, Alex, Kevin Buenrostro. Kevin Buenrostro. Daniel Bass, James Heinsohn, Adam Cristolini. Italian names are just funny. Adam Cristolini.

Then we got Kash Singh, another Sandra Day. I'll just call him the Delta variant. Then we got Ryan Ames, Davis Wade, Merrick DuPont, Jackson Riley. If your name's DuPont, you're rich. Let's see what you joined at. You joined at the fucking $5 level and your last name's DuPont. Go fuck yourself, Merrick. Jackson Riley, Derek Boyd, Roman Sandbank,

Daniel, Stevie Lou, Marissa. Marissa. Marissa. Marissa. Welcome, girl. And Tom O'Brien, another potato monkey. Guys, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Go join the fun for bonus episodes

and we'll see you next week. Hope you enjoyed that Paul Verzi episode. It's been a long day.