Yannis Pappas Hour - Comedy MMA & Tzar Nick’s Wife

Episode Date: May 17, 2024

Yanni predicts that we are about to enter a mean, masculine comedy era. Billionaire bros are emerging from the finger-sniffer era. Finally, Yanni goes all Hyena of History with a lesson on the death of Tsar Nicholas, and if Rasputin banged his wife.  Our bonus episodes are highly rated and viewable here: https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator See Yanni Live coming up in: LA May 2 Raleigh May 17-18 Atlantic City June 22 Tickets here: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com Support our sponsors: Freeze Pipe Visit https://thefreezepipe.com and use code YANNIS for 10% off your entire order.

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another Giannis Pappas Hour. Catch me this weekend in North Carolina at the Rally Improv. I'll be there Friday and Saturday for four shows. And then in June, on June 22nd, I will be in Atlantic City at Harris on June 22nd. Tickets are available at GiannisPappascomedy.com Join our Patreon. We're small. We're mighty. We're proud of it. Our bonus episodes

are sure to make you go far till you drop out the door. Patreon.com slash yannispapasour. We appreciate all our members, all our subscribers, who, as you can tell, this isn't a heavily sponsored show.

So your money comes in handy, keeps us up and running. We're like NPR right now. We're NPR when it started. So much appreciated. And let's get into this episode. Guys, we are brought to you today by Freeze Pipe. They have gotten rid of that harsh toke, the agony of the throat burning, the coughing attacks. They've made it a smooth experience when you smoke cannabis.

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It's a good day today. It's a good day. It's a bipolar day in New York City. It was sunny all morning and then it got very cloudy just it's been nuclear fallout weather for a long time just new york is much like london now just a lot of rain a lot of warmth not as cold but it's just gray and rainy and um i'm just trying to figure out what's next, man. What's next? What's the culture doing? It moves so fast now. Things move so fast. We're definitely going to be entering, mark my words, into an era of extreme macho, masculine comedy. It's going to be comedy MMA

at the same time. It's going to be a fight. It's going to be a mma at the same time it's going to be a fight it's going to be a roast and then whoever wins the roast has to fight an mma fighter to the death um the billionaires are jacked they are into mma they're into yachts they're no longer sniffing fingers they're not no longer getting stuffed in lockers mark z Zuckerberg now is wearing his chain out like this, which used to be exclusive to guys who were cool like me. I've always been cool, but of course you put on glasses and people just call you Bob Zagat or they call you Rick

Moranis. I look neither. I look like neither one of those guys. I'm a handsome guy whose eyes are just a little close together, but other than that, I have good hair and a pretty, really good face. That's why my wife is a 10. I'm sick of people telling me she's way out of my league. She's not.

I'm a fucking 10. I'll fuck your wife right in front of you, especially if she gets to one of my shows. I'll fuck your mom. I'll fuck your wife. I'll fuck your sister. I'll fuck your goat. I'm Greek. I'll fuck everything. You'll fuck everything. I'm 6 foot. I'm fucking 200 pounds. I can throw hands. I'm fucking 200 pounds. I can throw hands.

I'm not a nerd. I was a good basketball player. I was an athlete. I always got the hot girl. Just when you need glasses, people just think you're a nerd because you're putting glasses on. Maybe I need to get cool rim glasses. Someone's coming off a little defensive right now. I got to get some Yeezys.

There's Mark Zuckerberg with his chain out. He's a chain out guy now. He could be walking around Benzers. The only thing you can't hide is the big old Jew face. Whoa. You can't get rid of that. Sometimes the Jew genetics just show right there on the face. The beard helps.

The beard helps. Yeah. Which means, yeah, as Jesse says, you look better with less face. So now he's got a beard. He's got the chain out. He's got an expensive chain. I mean, the kid looks like he's dressed like chris delia somebody had to take that role just the chain out pretty soon a tattoo on the neck um yeah i mean that's just my look this was i have the same look i had uh freshman there's a picture of me i found from freshman

year in college where i just had the same size chain outside a t-shirt and that's what i wear my style goes on my sneakers um but there's jeff bezos he's got a 500 million dollar yacht and he put his his girlfriend he made a statue on the front of the of the yacht of his girlfriend you could never be too rich to be uh putang whipped he's putang whipped i mean she's latina she's laying it on his geek ass his geek ass is just getting laid he's enjoying his money man he is yeah yes he's enjoying his money i mean i've never seen anyone so strong. It's the USA. It's the United States of Amazon.

Everyone shops. You can shop for anything. He's an all-in-one digital shop shop shop shop. He's an all-in-one digital shop shop. I don't know why I did two. Shop shop. I guess it was the rhythm. He's an all-in-one digital shop shop.

It's better than all-in-one digital shop. And, you know, he's made a lot of money from that. And what does men do with their money? If they do it right, they give it to a lady. That's when you do it right. You give it all to a lady. And she's no slouch, right? She was a newscaster.

She's got $100,000. Before she met him, she a hundred thousand dollars she could afford she could afford uh what's the everyone what what are the middle what are the middle class girls what's the god damn it not a kenneth call Kenneth Cole's like the middle class guy Trying to be fancy outfit And the women have Marc Jacobs Yeah, just, she could Before she met him, she had a Marc Jacobs bag She could afford to shop at Whole Foods

She could be at Whole Foods She had $100,000 She was one step up from Trader Joe's She was a local newswoman So she had a $175,000 a year job. She might have had a Volkswagen Golf. She was probably married to a guy who had like a million. She was a Scottsdale elite.

She was Scottsdale elite. Was she from Arizona? I don't know. She was from somewhere where there's a lot of Mexicans, right? Is she Mexican? Probably. Lauren Sanchez. Spanish.

I don't know. Well, now, no. She went from being Mexican to going to the Spanish. She's European Mexican now. She had a hundred thousand and now she's privy to, she's involved in, she's on the periphery of billions.

His yacht is 500 million dollars. His yacht is Oteri's fucking salary. His yacht is $500 million. His yacht is Oteri's fucking salary. His yacht is, this is just one of those days where I box and I didn't get enough protein or whatever. What is the quarterback of the Chiefs? My mind is working slow today. Mahomes. Of the Chiefs.

My mind is working slow today. Mahomes. His yacht is Mahomes' salary, which is the highest salary that a football player has ever got, is what he spent on his fucking transportation that he doesn't need, on his float thing, his fun float thing. He uses two weeks a year. Yeah, and he probably paid like another $50 million to have that sculpture put on the front.

Listen, dude. Listen, I don't think socialism works either, but when you see a multi-billionaire do this, you want to take his money. I'm a socialist not on principle. I'm a socialist by spite. You just don't want him. Yeah, and look, I'm not afraid to admit it and i look i think if people just came out and said hey look we could obviously see this doesn't really work for the human condition as well as capitalism it works as a great uh check on

capitalism but in and of itself it really doesn't work um for the human condition without capitalism. But I'm a socialist by spite. And then just we're honest about it. Maybe we're going to come, I think we're coming up on an honest period. I think people are, I don't know. This is what I see. Podcasts are all down. Numbers are down.

Live tickets are down. Unless your name is Shane Gillis And Andrew Schultz Tickets are down For every Or Tony Henshaw The podcast We've said it before Because

For comedy Comedy is such big It's so huge It's the biggest it's ever been But in order to get big You have to do so many things Outside of being funny I listened back to our last Patreon episode,

and I was like, wow, this is just a funny, great episode. You know, I'm a harsh critic of stuff. Well, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I was like, this is, I listened to it. I laughed. There's hard laughs. It's very entertaining. But much like my comedy,

I had another guy message me about the Netflix festival. He's like, i saw all the show he's like i went to a million shows yours was the best i know what i did in the room i just i i'm good i'm comp like like uh billy joel said i'm competent now who was it ted sarandos it wasn't ted sarandos damn it but i'm competent and billy joel said once in 60 minutes they go why are you so good or whatever he goes i, I just think I'm competent. Like, I know how to write a song. I know how to write the jingles.

And he says, I think sometimes when you're competent in a sea of incompetence, people think you're more than you are. But I'm just competent. I've been doing it 20 years. I'm competent. I've been doing podcasts a long time. I'm competent.

Before podcasts started, I used to do these types of rants on stage. I'm competent. I've been doing podcasts a long time. I'm competent. Before podcasts started, I used to do these types of rants on stage. I'm competent at what I do. But in order to get big now, you have to do so many other things outside of what you're competent at. You got to be a CEO. I got to get Dylan Dallas on my... I got to get people I'm not interested in getting on my podcast. And you just have to have the stomach for that, I don't have the stomach for that, I don't get excited to reach out to Dylan Dallas, I'm sorry Dylan Dallas

will you follow me, but you're not listening to this, but you gotta get Dylan Dallas, you gotta get the CIA eye on you gotta get the CIA guy on that's making the rounds with the long hair you gotta get fucking one of the Paul brothers you know, they're just I'm not interested in talking to any of them you know, you don't have to pull up Dylan Dallas that's making the rounds with the long hair. You got to get fucking one of the Paul brothers. I'm not interested in talking to any of them.

You don't have to pull up Dylan Dallas. He's a fucking jujitsu guy. You got to do all this stuff. Sorry, I got to adjust my balls. You have to get who's hot, who's trending, who's digitally trending, and get them on your pods. You got to put all this effort in to book all these people who are going to break numbers. And I just don't have the stomach.

I don't, because it just doesn't fucking excite me. It just, I don't want to talk to, I don't want to talk to another journalist. I don't want to, I just want to do comedy and make jokes. I want to make funny. I want to make funny. I want to put my perspective out there. My podcast, this is the sane person's podcast.

And I think that's why our numbers are low. It's an insane time. Like I said on the Patreon, we live in a MoMA museum world where all form is broken down, all rules are broken down. Nobody knows what's true. Everyone's pretending it's art. That was the funny part of it where I go, that's what we're doing. I said it in the Patreon episode.

I'm doing some teasers. Patreon.com slash Giannis Papasaur. Some man standing in front of you with a wig on and a dick is going, you got to call him ma'am. It's the same feeling you get when you go in the moment. You see some fucking TV on the floor with a cup on top and it's a display and you're going and you're supposed to go like that's art and you're supposed you're getting bullied into the fact that that's art when you're in your gut, you're going, that's not art. who's running around with girls playing lacrosse, and he's 6'4", and they're 5'2", and he's got socks stuffed in his bra and hairy legs,

and you've got to go, that's a lady. That's why we're living in a mobile world. You're being bullied into things that aren't real. You've got to say that they're real. That zin was holding up a dear life. It was holding up a dear life, that zin. Your zin was about to pop out they're real. That Zin was holding up a dear life. It was holding up a dear life, that Zin. Your Zin was about to pop out of your mouth. And listen, you think it's a coincidence

that mental health is at an all-time high when everyone is trying to be like the better person? Everyone's trying to consider everyone's feelings? Isn't that ironic? Being like, hey, we're going to be the nicest generation. We're going to consider everybody. But you know what you have to do to do that? You have to lie.

You got to lie a lot. You got to lie and walk around and go like, everything's great. Everyone's got to be great. You can't notice anything. You can't make a joke about black people being tardy. You can't make a joke about Asian women women not driving it's not hacky it's true i saw an accident i was uh i was at the car i took my daughter to the carnival um we went to some carnival there was a carnival she

went on all the rides and while she was getting her face painted into one of the spidey people she wanted to be she wanted to be ghost spider from spidey and friends and while she's getting her face painted a ghost buddy um at this carnival we were at um it was just there it was just we heard a crash so me and this guy walked out and this guy this guy was just not involved in this world this modern world he was a guy who works with his hands in the city and i know that because he told he's i work in the city and he said it in a way where he's like i don't i don't go in to do paperwork you know when a guy talks like that he's like i work in the city he's a guy who saved up to get his house outside of the city and he probably lives with us a lot of cops a lot of firefighters you know he's probably down there in pelham or

you know staten island or something like that and he it's a for him it's a fucking dream he's probably in levittown he's somewhere and he walks up and the crash was between an asian woman and this guy right and we were going and we go up there and i asked the lady i go who's what happened whose fault was it and the women were these women right they were just women that didn't want to say right they're like oh i don't know they were both trying to turn they're trying to be polite yeah and i come back he walks back and i'm talking to the lady he walks back to the finger painting because his son was getting his face painted too. So he walks back, and then he's talking to the women

who were doing the painting on the face, and he goes, they can't drive. He goes, they can't drive, and the women were mortified, but he didn't care. He had no social awareness. He didn't know. He was saying something in his mind that's just true. And here's the deal, because it's very close to true.

This is the second time. One time I came home late at night, and it was misty out, and I made the turn onto my block, and there was just a Tesla. This is a true story. There was a Tesla just on a rock wall. It was just on a rock wall. It was balancing on a wall. It was balancing on a rock wall. This is a true story. There was a Tesla just on a rock wall. It was just on a rock wall. Balancing on a wall. It was balancing on a rock wall.

This is a true story. So I pulled over. I was the only person because where I live, it's very desolate. And it was misty out. And I go. And in the driver's seat is a Chinese lady. Okay. She's got the airbag on.

And she's going like, I just live up there. And she had an accent. So I'm just doing that i'm not trying to be offensive right it's how she talked it's like a poo like that's how immigrants talk right they talk like that if you come from india and you immigrate here you don't sound like tom brady you sound like a poo so it's not a racist accent it's an accurate accent okay so that's what she said she She said, she's like, I just need to help.

She was like dazed and she was like trying to get out of the car and like. You were the first one on the scene? I was the only one on the scene.

You were the only one on the scene? I was, yeah. And she was just sitting there and like, she was like, I need to call my son.

She's like, I just need to go up there. And she's trying to get, and I don't know much, but just out of instinct, I was like, don't get out of the car. First of all, you're balancing on a rock wall second of all the airbag is out so i know that

you have some sort of body trauma oh and there was a little blood and i can't remember where it was but there was like a little blood like maybe on her head or her nose i can't remember so she was obviously dazed um she was also asian so she was in a different Tai Chi realm. And I go, just, you have to sit there. I have to call 911. Like you need to sit there.

And I had the right instincts because I called 911 and I reported it. I gave the coordinates and they came and she kept trying to get out of the car. And it was those guys, those firefighter guys that don't live in that world and they went lady they went lady you were just in a car accident your car's on a wall stay in the car like we have to take you out a certain way we don't know what kind of neck that you can't just get out your airbag is out you're trapped in the fucking car you know and i remember just hearing lady they just said lady lady stop trying to get out of the fucking car you know they weren't being

polite but it was it was an asian woman dude kudos to you i would have just kept driving i don't i can't even get involved with that yeah why would you do that because you just leave her up there yeah just leave her i'll call later i'd get home and I'd be like, listen, there's someone stuck on a highway back there. That's why that kid died, because you didn't help him. Dude, I can't get involved. What was his name again? Andrew. Andre.

Andre, yeah. And I helped him. I helped Andre. You helped him by going, come on, man, walk off. R.I.P. I told him to go take a shit. Yeah, you told him to go take a shit. He could have very well died if he had a different friend there.

He could have, yeah. If a friend was like, hey, man, do you have any heart conditions or anything? And he would have said, yeah. And be like, dude, call an ambulance. He would have been like, I don't have insurance. Be like, dude, you're going to be dead. You don't play around with that. He was like, I don't have insurance.

I was like, all right. Yeah, you're like, I make your own decisions. R.I.P. Andre. Yeah, you don't want a guy who goes with the flow When you're in a life or death You don't want a guy You don't want a Jesse's Couture who goes with the flow You need somebody with high anxiety

Anxiety can be very helpful Emma Stone actually said like she likes anxiety Because it gets her out of bed in the morning She had a positive spin on it And I was like that's nice She's like yeah anxiety makes you feel like You need to be doing something more I'm too comfortable

And that's good It's sort of like the opposite of just fucking doing nothing so uh which is what jesse did when his friend was dying right in front of him um but my point is it was an asian lady it was another this was i've seen like 10 accidents through asian people well there's a game when you're behind a bad driver you always guess is it woman old person or asian often i just hate to say so often you'll get cut off or someone won't put on a blinker and they'll just come over, just a very dangerous lane switch on a highway without a blinker, and they do it late when you're close. It's this very specific move.

And then you fucking curse, and then you go around and you have to look. And a lot of times, it'll just either be an old woman. It's an old woman whose steering wheel is like above her head or an Asian. It's rarely just a guy. No, the absolute, absolute worst. The Hasidic Jews. The worst drivers on the planet. Yeah, but there's not a lot of those out there.

And they're very in their own neighborhood. Yeah, they've always got like carts. They've got big cars with like 18 kids in there. Yeah, but there's not a lot of those out there very in their own yeah they're always got like carts he's got big cars like 18 kids in there yeah but it's like so he just comes back and he goes and then my favorite part he goes he goes he goes to them and they were just mortified right because they couldn't enjoy his playful racism these women oh you're back to the carnival and my wife my wife was cracking up my wife is just cracking up right because she was enjoying the playful racism she was not asking this guy to change who he was this guy builds buildings or he does something very important that we need that now is like overlooked like oh my god because of her feelings and um so these women were like mortified

but he didn't care. He kept going and he kept going. He goes, he goes, trust me. He goes, I work in the city and that's where he goes. He goes, I work in a city. They can't drive. He goes, I'm telling you, they can't drive. They can't drive. And, uh, and then he goes like this. My favorite goes, he goes, and you know, he goes, the woman, the lady was standing out there going like this, like, like, I don't know. And then he goes, lady lady you know what you did you know whose fault it is and that's exactly what you know what you did and you know whose fault it is and he was laughing and smiling and he was having a good old time those guys are the best

he was just having a good old time going like hey i live in the reality i live in the world stereotypes they don't drop from the sky. That blue collar ball breaking. Listen, stereotypes don't drop from the sky. What do you want from me? They don't drop from the sky. It doesn't mean all of them, but it means like, hey, maybe a disproportionate amount. So there is a prodigy racer, F1.

No, that's different. Now, listen if the asians focus on it yeah because they have tokyo drift and all that shit dude if they focus on it they look at what they did with day with like hip-hop dancing baseball i mean if they focus on it look at what they did with cars yeah that's right manufacturing and engineering. If the Asians focus on it, but if it's just an Asian citizen, like usually a female Asian citizen, I mean, this woman was on the rock wall, you know? And I asked her, like her English was very broken, but I was like, what happened? She's like, oh, she swerved from the deer,

which is not what you're supposed to do, right? You're supposed to hit the deer. You have to go right through them, right? Your instinct, yeah. If you swerve, that's what's going to happen. You heard you say, it's to hit the deer go right through your instinct yeah if you swerve that's what's gonna happen you heard you say it's tough but you have to do it and you have to have it in your mind you can try to stop short um you can try to hit the brakes but you don't swerve right so uh it's all the country people know that just like trigger discipline this is just what all these fucking crackers know you

hit the fucking deer and if you gotta have trigger. Don't put your finger on the thing. Keep it there. Have trigger discipline with your service weapon. And they don't call it a gun. They call it your weapon, your service weapon, your girl, your girlfriend. A lot of them call it my girlfriend, my love. They don't call it a gun.

They call it my love, my lifesaver, my American arm of justice my my my second amendment tool second amendment tool my handy tool my uh get off my lawn sign they call it a bunch of things uh no others allowed uh build my-a-wall friend. Whatever they call it, they don't call it a gun, but it's usually a service weapon or a weapon. Yeah, my Osama neutralizer.

Yeah, my Osama neutralizer, my terrorist chaser. They got a bunch of fun names for it. A lot of them sleep with it. They tuck it in at night. They clean it all the time um they fuck them i don't know what they do they love them sweet love to that day they love those things and i get it and so they know all about trigger discipline they know all about how

to hit a deer and you don't swerve but this asian lady she swerved and she ended up on a rock she was on the wall jesus she was like up on you know those old rock walls was there a cliff on the other side uh there was a stream on the other stream she was up on it she was fucking up on the wall and it was a wide wall so she wasn't really balancing but she was like her car was fucking totaled the airbag was out and of course when they took her out they put her on the you know the stretcher with her with her neck and everything because they have to do that in order to get her there but she just wanted to go home. She thought I was just going to make it home.

But I'm just saying, back to the original point, you have to do a lot of lying. You've got to do a lot of pretending to try to be like woke Jesus. And everyone's just trying to be like, ignore reality. I think that's why roasts are going to be big right now because it's just this purge of people just saying the most horrific thing that we all know is true like tom tom brady just got fucking obliterated about his wife and about her cheating and people just want to say true things you know it's funny because in the promo he said he's unroastable and

i believed him yeah he's like i'm unroastable i'm like yeah you are kind of unroastable and i believed him yeah he's like i'm unroastable and i'm like yeah you are kind of unroastable and then he was very roasted they got him oh they roasted mostly about his wife mostly about his wife but yeah people just want to say true things that's why that people like donald trump i mean if there was another guy that came along that just said half of what donald trump says like just a little honesty like if it's wrong, the guy just says what he thinks. That's refreshing. Yeah, it's just like that's what's going on. That is why roasting is getting so big. That's why Kill Tony is so big.

It's just me. Truth can sometimes be mean, but people have been being forced to be polite for so long that they just want to say stuff. And that's always a dangerous place because that's where fascism comes in, where they just go, let's just say it. Let's to say stuff. And that's always a dangerous place because that's where fascism comes in, where they just go, let's just say it. Let's just say it.

The Jews, let's just say it. The black, they just go too far. And so that's where we are now, where there's going to be mainstream people, Kanye was the first, who just say fucking wild shit, you know, without any comedic twist to it. I mean, you can't even make a you can't you got

to be careful even making fun jewish jokes now because there's people out there going like yeah yeah you know you just can't do that you know that whole fucking era is just like remember when i got in trouble for that stimmy check tweet that's right it's like jesus christ you got dragged by black twitter people are silently sitting there just hating that going like we don't want that anymore another evidence of this and this is yanni predicting the culture again um and i'm always right um shane gillis another one it was like oh we can't he had an asian joke once we can't put him on saturday night live then now he's one of the biggest comedians he's doing arenas they invited him back to host it's like people just they just uh-oh what was that a knock yeah hold on you just answer the door you don't look through the people what are they gonna do

well they might kick the door in huh might kick the door in you're not scared kick the door and do what and then we'll the door in. You're not scared? Kick the door in and do what? And then we'll have a great podcast episode. That would be the best podcast ever. Nobody lives here. You want to take that TV? It's from 2012. Take it.

You want to take this podcast? Sure, but I don't know. What do you want me to do? Tie you up. Yeah. These aren't even 4K. I mean, what are they going to do? They are.

They isn't 4K. They could be 4K. You want some podcast lights? Nobody lives here. I mean, the funny thing is, before he knocked, he probably heard the rant. He goes, what are they doing in here? I'm using it as a podcast studio, my friend.

You know, so people are just sick of it. They want to hear funny again. You know, they want to just hear, like, jokes based on some sort of uncomfortable truths that we all just kind of deal with. And so we're going to get an era of that now. So I think it's going to be a really good time for Nazi comedians.

I think there's going to be like a scene, like comedy clubs, like white only. Because, you know, yeah, because listen, there was this era, there was like girl only comedy shows. They were like these are it's a safe space for women so i think i mean they already tried to do their own zip code i don't know if you read about that there's like whites who try to get their own zip code really so yeah i think

you're just gonna get you know for every action there is an equal but opposite reaction and with extremes it just ping pongs back from one extreme to the other you know and we talked about that and then the only thing that they have in common and they and then they just from one extreme to the other you know and we talked about that and then the only thing that they have in common and they and then they just become one extreme group against the jews and that's where we are where they want the zip code if you google it but i can bring it up on my phone quicker than you're gonna find it probably yeah don't they have that already it's called the hamptons they got plenty of them that's the funny thing and the irony is they're usually pretty liberal all white zip code yeah there's some uh zip code

i mean this stuff is just out in the open i mean this is just nazi stuff um yeah there was some group petitioning uh group petitioning for all white zip code? I don't know where it is. It's hard to find, probably. They probably don't make it easy to find. But I'm positive of it. I read about it. So someone who's watching this could comment about it if they know the story.

But yeah, they legitimately tried to form, like they went to the local legislature and they were trying to form an all-white zip code, which is, this is just not a great place to be. This is not, this reaction, and you gotta know that this reaction is coming because of how loony it got, with like fucking the guy winning the swimming competition

and all-women comedy shows and just how nuts it got. And we're going to cancel everybody, you know, for everything. And then you just wake up these fucking loonies. So now these loonies are out. It's just loony tunes, baby. It's loony tunes. So, you know, that's what we're going to have, unfortunately. It's an equal but opposite reaction.

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And that's why people excuse the other stuff, because it's like, well, he's the only guy saying this other thing that I liked. He's the only one saying we need a wall down there. And so I like that. Because everyone else is going, well, there's no person that's illegal. What about the families? What about our empathy? Think about the children. And people are going, they're just illegal. And they're going, no, don't call it illegal. They're fleeing from hard conditions. This country was built on immigrants. How hypocritical

is that? Your parents were immigrants and they're just saying all this stuff. And then he's the only one going, like, it's illegal, build a wall. We need a border just like every other country. And then people go, hate speech. So it got loony. So then people just get sick of it. The next thing you know, these loonies come out of nowhere, and they want to have their own zip code.

So that's where we are. We're not at nazi comedy yet but it'll get there this will be a good time for racist comedians this is their time i think right now they're just gonna come out and they're gonna fucking i think that's where we're headed because where else is it gonna go you know where else is it gonna go i mean look how jerry seinfeld um went and gave the commencement speech at duke i mean comedic icon right stanfield show like half the crowd walked out i have a i just want to talk to the kids for a second jerry seinfeld is just a Jewish comedian, right? He's just a Jewish comedian. He's not a part of the, he's an American. He's a Jewish comedian from Long Island.

Like, he has nothing to do with what Netanyahu's doing over there. So, like, what are we doing? But, you know, he's Jewish. So, and he at some point went to Israel, and he, like, likes Israelrael so it's like because he likes israel um and because he's jewish they just uh they say dozens it was more than dozens i mean when you look at the video it was definitely more than dozens that walked out on him and they started chanting free palestine it's like guys you know are we doing? So this is the type of extreme stuff. I mean, for Jerry Seinfeld, I mean, that's the type of leap in logic, you know, that we're dealing with. You know, that's crazy.

That's crazy. Yeah. It's the same type of thing. Let's say, you know, there's a black guy that goes on a rampage and he kills a bunch of people. there's a black guy that goes on a rampage and he kills a bunch of people. And then Chris Rock shows up for your commencement speech and then you go, we're walking out on Chris. What does Chris Rock have to do?

You don't even see, you think you're not racist, but what you're doing is the exact anatomy of racism. But the irony is just lost on these kids. You're basically walking out on Jerry Seinfeld because he's Jewish. Because last time I checked, he's an American Jewish comedian. He's a comedian of Jewish descent who's from America. So is there a picture of him with Israeli soldiers when he visited Israel? Yes. I mean, what are we going to – yeah. So what does that mean? Does that mean that he calls the shots on what Netanyahu's defense plans and budget are?

Is he giving – is he selling weapons to Israel? I mean, what are we doing? Even on your position, what are we, you're walking out, I mean, it's just racist. It's just bigotry. It's just bigotry to do that. And I would challenge anyone to debate me on that topic. It's such an easy, you just go, he's coming to Duke to give a speech as a comedian. His profession is comedian. He's not Zelensky. He wasn't elected to a position. He's a 70-year-old Jewish comedian. He looks great, by the way.

And so that's the kind of extremes we live in now. So unfortunately, I think we'll probably see a backlash. That backlash will be worse. It'll be worse. The right-wing backlash is always worse. The left-wing is, like, annoying. And, like, you know, I mean, people were calling it fascist. But was it, like, it was more loony.

It wasn't really fascist. It was more loony. People haven't seen fascism yet. I mean, they weren't like Rounding up people They were just going like Call her a her And they were going like

You know They were doing like a lot of good things Me too and a lot of people A lot of rapists A lot of pedophiles A lot of inappropriate behavior towards women A lot of good stuff A lot of racism A lot of good stuff, a lot of racism, a lot of good stuff.

But then they just got loony. They just got loony and annoying and loony. And, you know, if you had a, you just avoided them. If you saw them, like, I don't want to have a conversation with them. You know, they switched their genders a bunch. They got all confused. They, you know, just got all radicalized by every little thing. They're

trying to be these martyrs for every issue. That's why they have mental health problems. It's because they're trying to be too good, so they have to lie to themselves all the time. If somebody assaults them on the street, if their friend gets assaulted

on the street, they got to be like, well, what? Think about the person who assaulted you's perspective. There's a mental health crisis going on. And if these governments fund it, they have to go to that. They got to do the whole AOC thing. Where it's like, what would you do? These people are just trying to eat. It's like, I don't know if he was trying to eat

when he punched me in the head and stole my iPhone on the sixth train. And you go, but they're just trying to eat. So these kids had to do that. And if they didn didn't they'd be ostracized by their friends so they're just forced to lie go against their gut because their gut just wants to say fuck this guy you know we need more cops okay i don't care about his fucking mental health get your shit together okay my i got a stepdad too or whatever just whatever you know you can't have endless empathy i mean steve buscemi just got punched in the face in new york

city and that would be like him going well you know this is um because the cruel republican policies about not housing the homeless and that's what the kids have to do that's a perfect date have to go like i know you got hit and you were in the hospital and things like that, but just think about what he's going through. Think about what the person is going through who hit you, which must have made him hit you. He's not getting the right

medication treatments. He's not getting the right proper housing. He's not. It's just a cruel Republican-led war. And that's what they have to do. Instead of going, fuck that guy. I wish he's dead.'s just a cruel republican led war you know and that's what they have to do instead of going fuck that guy wish he's dead throw him in jail forever can't do that is that the guy who did it it looks like it looks like the guy xavier israel 27 damn no no that's the assault on steinberg somebody else oh someone else another actor yeah

yeah dude i don't like this shit the random punches well i just i don't mind it um because i think steve mishima can take a punch he looks very malleable he's a little guy he's a little guy but it looks like his face would melt with the punch you just absorb it yeah he looks like a melted candle like he would just yeah you know i think he's punching a down pillow yeah he just would yeah it's like yeah like a tempur-pedic mattress like a memory fall yeah which is his face looks kind of indented he's also very punchable if you're angry if you're randomly angry you're like where's the weakest guy look at you just when you're angry at weakness what's this buscemi hate huh what's this buscemi i'm just trying to make comedy he's awesome you don't like steve i love steve

buscemi i'm so here i am i'm sorry now'm going to think about it all night. I'm going to worry about Steve Buscemi. I could give a fuck less. To be honest with you, I could give a fuck less. Yeah? Yeah, I don't live in the city anymore. Maybe you should move. What do you want me to do? Don't be, I don't know, don't go outside.

I don't. I mean, I don't care. If those were not, that guy was not a Verizon Fios guy either. He had like a paper fucking thing here. Yeah, if you were like an old woman, he would have. If I was an old woman, it would have been,

it would have been, he would have figured it out. He would have pushed it. Yeah, good scam. Go for it. At least he doesn't have fucking, he wasn't like a big robbery. He was just some guy trying to scam me.

Good. And if it was guys that came in and killed us, that's great too. It's all part of God's plan. What am I supposed to do? Not answer the door? I don't want to be rude, especially because he was a black guy. I would not want to be rude.

That would be rude for me to be worried. No, seriously, that would be rude. You just got to look through the peephole. Yeah, and then see a black guy and get worried? Put the chain on. No, I can't do that, especially when I'm being recorded. I can't do that. I opened it up.

I said, do you want my house? I'll take you to my house. Take it. I don't live here. It's everything. We're going to get 16 migrants living in this place. Yeah, listen, just kick them all out, whatever it is. it i can't do that i opened it up i said you want my house i'll take you to my house take my take it i don't live here it's everything it's 16 migrants listen just kick them all whatever it is put them all in here i'm just whatever i just i feel bad for all everyone who's not white man i feel just they had it too easy and that's it just white privilege i just just fucking privilege one of my favorite things was seeing a clip about Kevin Hart talk about How much easier

White people have had In coming I'm like It's just not It's like not the right Spokesperson Right So

You're talking to a guy Who's richer than All the white people It's just not the right Spokesperson Like people have just Had enough of like So he has a victim

Narrative So Kevin Hart Has a victim narrative too It's just You you're going like, I guess your father, your grandfather, they had something to say. But you now have so much money and so much fame and so much privilege,

it's just hard to hear you talk about how you had a hard journey. It didn't seem like a hard journey. I don't want to sound like Cat Williams here, but all I know is like, you were hanging out with Jay Oakerson in Philly Comics, and the next thing you know,

you were just the most famous man in the world so you know what are we talking about here when are people just gonna go you know what thank god i live in america and on top of that thank god i have a private plane with like a billion dollars i mean what do you what are we doing here i mean what are we doing can we just have some honesty it would be kevin it would be funny if kevin hart said most of the people that look like me have a hard time. But for me, you know why he does that? So then people could go, yeah, instead of going, hey, Kevin, why don't you go open up some businesses

in a black, you know, hey, Kevin, why do you live in an all-white neighborhood? Hey, Kevin, you know, that's the way, that's the real reason why they do it, because it gets them off the hook. You just go, hey, you know, this white privilege thing, you know, for me, I had to go through like 10 interviews

where Nia Vardalos only had to go through one. Well, she's not really white. She's Greek. It's still white, depending on the context, right? You know, Steve Buscemi just got things like that. You know, I had to, the interview he's going like,

I had to give references. I mean, it was really hard. I wanted to throw something at the fucking TV. He actually said that. He's like, for me, I had to give like, he was sitting with Chelsea Handler. To do standup? No, they were talking about privilege. Yeah, but what does he have to give references for?

I don't know what he was talking about. To get on stage? Yeah, I mean, it's, it was just really, you know, and you can't say that because you have to be black to say that so even now this is hate speech I mean and this is what people are sick of even though I'm 100% right Chelsea Handler I mean it's just

at a certain point you just go no man nobody's thinking about you as black Kevin you're just famous and people love you but he might just be giving her audience what she wants because that's ground zero for the victim yeah well that's what it seems like he does like wherever he goes wherever he goes he's just giving the audience what they want yeah um because you go on chelsea handler that's all it is yeah well he was just talking about that and and um it was just it was just going like it was like the gay guy saying,

I'm not gay no more. You're like, wrong person to talk about it. Just, it doesn't feel good coming out of your mouth, Kevin. Where is it? Who knows where it is? But I saw it. And who cares? You can find it for yourself you know he was going yeah yeah you know it's like a white person has to do like one reference

where i had to do like seven he oh he said something very similar to that and you're just going how much better can you have it kevin hart? You're fighting this. You've got to come up with your own victim narrative. I'm not fighting it. You've got to play the game a little bit. Yeah, but how do you feel when you do that? How do people do that? You're concerned with feelings. No, dude, but no, it's not even feelings.

How do you look? People who just lie and lie and lie and lie and make shit up and just don't know who they are. There's just some people you just listen to them blab and you're going they just blab and then you read some of the comments and people are like this person there's there's one situation i'm thinking about where i know personally that there's a person who could not be more full of shit i'm talking about like if i scan my life for someone who lies more or who's more full of shit or who cares about less i would think about a person right and then i saw a video of them just blabbing and like knowing the person you're just

watching them blab they're just blabbing right they're just blabbing and they're fucking blabbing and it's just all bullshit like everything and then you read the comments like i just love how honest he is it's just hey show business baby it's but it's just people just can't First of all people love fantasy And they love lies Because reality is very harsh So that's always a thing People will always be drawn To liars and fantasy

Because it's a lot funner And reality can be a little bit of a downer Reality can be a downer It can be boring It can be a downer So it's just Bullshitters always thrive and i like but don't don't take that the wrong way i love me a good bullshitter for many reasons i like to be seduced by them because then it raises your you have a good time but i also like to watch them

and laugh so there's two reasons why i like them but i I just don't have it. It's not a moral, believe me. I'm not saying that this is a good thing. I just don't know how you, like at a certain point, you just, you look in the mirror and you go, what? Like that Bill Burr joke, like, what am I doing? Like, it's just, how do you even remember all the lie? Like, how do you keep it? You know, you don't have an anchor you're not like a

real person like how do you just show up and feign enthusiasm for sitting down with chelsea handler like i just can't you know i could sit down probably have a good time with chelsea handler i'd find like you know without getting too deep into it but i could never like go that distance where i'm just lost in bullshit land where i'm just like when i leave the interview and i go like oh my god that was a different person who am i i could you know what i'm saying like you leave and go i just said a bunch of stuff i really don't believe who am i like to the point where you're going who am i what did i just now i got to be that guy okay i got to remember to be that guy now. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Those people actually have to go, I got to remember to be that guy now because now you've said you're that guy. You know how much energy that takes? That stresses me out as much as thinking about how many times I got to think of Dallin Dallas to be on my fucking podcast. Those two things just go,

that's just not something. I'm not saying I'm not good at, because you could easily be good at those things. Those are things that are very easy. It's not trigonometry. You just have to have the will to do it. I just don't have the will to do that like zero. Because you haven't set up a reward system.

You got to think about your $500 million yacht with the statue of your Latina girlfriend. Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything to me either a five thousand dollar million dollar yacht because you know what the funny thing is because like when you get a little wise you realize you know that 500 million dollar yacht is gonna feel like a hundred thousand dollar yacht for jeff bezos after two weeks is that just how it goes he's gonna get bored on that thing of course he is yeah we've all had it's the same anatomy because he's a killer dude you know how many times i've wanted sneakers so bad and then i've gotten them and then after a week i'm like i'm sick of them because he's built to kill he's not built to lounge on a yacht no and he's just it just it's that's how it goes with

stuff when you get the stuff true this stuff doesn't have the same you know that's why like materialism is a trap nobody knows what life's about until they've been through some real fucking tragedy. Because once you've been through some real fucking tragedy, you only hope for one thing. When you're really, like, low or you just want health. It's very funny. So, like, when you feel very sick or one of your family members are sick or something really horrible happens you just want that one thing so let's say on like god forbid a relative or an offspring or a parent tragically dies the only thing you want is that and so that's when you gain perspective and you realize oh none of this

that those things don't get old like your relationship with your friend doesn't get old, the relationship, that never ends. Right? So then you realize, oh, it's really true that, you know, you have to go to a deeper place. When you go through a tragedy, you got to go to a deeper place about what the meaning is. And that's why I believe that God was necessary throughout life because life was so fucking hard.

Atheism only is a privilege. Atheism is a privilege that science afforded. We would all still be religious. There was no atheists walking around before the 20th century. There was no guy walking around. Even the scientists were like all deeply religious. Even Isaac Newton was like, this is for God.

Thomas Jefferson was like religious. He criticized the Bible, whatever. But you couldn't because you could die of like gangrene the next day. So you were living under this constant fear of death and like what's the meaning of all this? If I could die tomorrow and oh my God, if I get an infection, I'm going to die. So you needed to just be like, God, it's in your hands. God, I love you.

So atheism is the ultimate privilege that modernity has afforded. Everyone was religious back in the day because you had to. Because you would have kids and four of them would die. That doesn't tickle. That hurts. So you need to rationalize. It's too much for the brain to fathom without some sort of spiritual, bigger picture, some deeper meaning. So when you go through a tragedy, you're in touch with the fact that you need to have deeper meaning as a conscious being,

that you're just not a salamander who's looking for food and can just move on from a death. I mean, even elephants mourn the deaths of their kids. So it's like that's what happens. And that's what happens when you get to the mountaintop too. I think you have that same type of dark night of the soul where you're like, I have everything. I thought it was all about this.

And then you become Jim Carrey and you lock yourself in a house and do below par paintings or not the greatest paintings and just talk about I'm nobody, I'm nothing. I wish everybody could become a rich and famous so they realize that's not what it's about. Because it is true.

But you don't know that until you get it. So that's the problem. So you got to get it first. And then you figure out that you need to find some deeper meaning in life. Right now we're at the stage where we've gotten to such a level of comfort with the internet and everything that I think everyone is starting to go like, like all right because everything becomes so easy and trite and old and the access

is unprecedented there's no struggle for anything so now i think it's ironically brought us back to those previous eras where we're all going looking for some deeper meaning and going all right what is this all about and And I think that's why you're going to see a surge in religion and stuff like that. I would hope it would be a surge in spirituality, a surge in, because religion is dogma. It's like, you know, it's like there's a king God who's like punishing you. That's like, that's ego shit. That's human created ego shit. It's more of like a spiritual deeper meaning, trying to use more of the brain, trying to decode fears and brains and reach a deeper place of understanding

and consciousness. But that's not going to happen. People are going to go right back to the church because it's the church is it's a drug for spirituality. It's a shortcut. Just like the way we eat is you go straight to the church, somebody tells you how to think, somebody controls you, and you just pray to whatever religion you were raised in, and it's a shortcut.

Because to do true spirituality, you've got to practice meditation, you've got to make it a lifestyle, you've got to work at it You gotta read You gotta experience things You gotta really work for it So people like to shrink I'll just go to church and suddenly fix it

Confess, boom, dang It's too hard, I don't got time So we're not gonna make it It is kind of a race Like it is a race Like the race is Here of a race like it is a race a like the race is here's the race man's nature hasn't changed we haven't sort of shed that animal nature of dominance and so we're still going the wars are happening nobody really knows what the fuck they're about we just haven't figured out better ways to just all get along and share resources or whatever.

You know, those old hates of land dominance and bullshit. We just haven't figured out a way to get to a more enlightened place about it. So it's a race to figure that out quickly, and I just don't think we can get, what is it, a couple of billion people on board. You just don't see it happening, you know? It's like we're just not going to get

billions of people on board, which would be fine because you still need your criminals and all that to keep it interesting, and they're going to happen anyway. But you know what I mean, the majority. It's like the way we got people on board with democracy, the way we got people on board with certain things. You know, those things didn't just happen like that. There was like a lot of fucking misery that happened for people

to get to these places where they accepted certain things. You know, it took a long time just to even admit that the earth goes around the sun. You had to kill a guy by putting him in fucking, the guy who said it, you're like, now you got to go live in isolation, right? Even though you said the truth, it took like thousands of years to admit that shit.

Not that long. But yeah, pretty much. I don't remember how long, but there was ancient people who figured certain things out and you're like, no, no, no, that's threatening my money game. We're not doing that. Same thing with oil. You're just going like, that's going to that's threatening my money game. We're not doing that. Same thing with oil. You're just going like, that's going to take us another couple hundred years

to fucking get off because everyone's making money on that. It would be too much bleeding, too much change. People struggle with change. People don't like change. Everyone has adjustment disorders. And when something new comes along they get their survival kicks in and goes like this is jesse's going through it right now wow you got to get a new apartment you got to get a new thing i signed the lease you did yeah i got a new place are you okay

you all the changes you're gonna have the new routine a new block to walk down i'm looking forward to it where's the where is it, I think it's going to be nice. What neighborhood? It's in the Gowanus. Ooh. Yeah, I'm practically living in a hotel. You know that's always been my dream. The only thing that's missing is a pool.

Oh, so it's one of those modern buildings. It's one of those modern buildings. It's got like a gym. Oh, nice. It's got like a playroom, the whole deal. Oh, nice. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Has it got some square footage?

The apartment's pretty small, but the good part is you don't have to be in the deal. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah. I'm looking forward to it. Has it got some square footage? The apartment's pretty small, but the good part is you don't have to be in the apartment. Just go downstairs. Yeah, go in the gym. You go to the gym. You go on the roof deck. Yeah. You know. Oh, it's one of those.

It's one of those. That was put up with Chinese steel. It's a little heavy in the pocket. That's what you call Chinese steel buildings. Yeah. How come no one's come up with that? That's pretty funny. Chinese steel buildings?

Yeah, because those are new. Yeah. So it's like we used to build those with steel here Now that's imported Chinese steel That's a good point They go up quick There's a little bit of an earthquake It's a little rumble, those things come down

Like House of Cards A little matchbook house They build them quick Yeah, oh yeah They build them so quick Good thing this one's a little older It's not brand new, it's maybe like 10 years old So, you know, it's been through a few things

Yeah, well that's great I mean, first and foremost, whatever the building is old. So, you know, it's been through a few things. Yeah. Well, that's great. I mean, first and foremost, whatever the building is, it's just you got a home. I do have a home. It's important that you got a roof. You were worried I was going to be homeless. No. But, yeah, I would just leave that place early. I would just get out of there just in case your landlord falls down the stairs.

It's all good. You're going to feel so great In those modern Fucking buildings Yeah it's all new That nice elevator That's right yeah Probably got like a new Small kitchen But it's new

It's brand new Oh you probably got like Quartz tops Dude the building Has it's own dog run also Oh you got a dog run there In the building Yeah I mean

Two bed Silas Well it's perfect Cause I could just Shuffle him all Shuffle him right in Right into the dog run Oh dude he may live another Ten years now

No don't say that Yeah Don't say that Well he was probably Living under so much Of the stress Of going down those stairs It was probably

My stress I gotta carry him Yeah but he's He's fine Yeah He's probably thinking I don't want to put him Through this

He dribbles a little pee On your leg every time Right a little bit No but nuggets of shit Are falling out of his ass Now He's like I look back I just shit are falling out of his ass now. He's like, I look back, I just see like, he just falls out of his ass. Yeah, I mean, he's getting too old to squat now.

Yeah, he's just walking. All of a sudden you see like these trails of balls of shit just behind him. Yeah. I don't know. Find some deeper meaning in your life. Get a dog and buy a yacht if you can. Put a statue of your girlfriend on it and become a spiteful socialist there's nothing wrong with that i think it's very mentally healthy that if you

don't become a millionaire to become a spiteful socialist strong arm the rich people by threat with threats of violence to take their money if they don't build a bunch of charitable buildings and personally give you money. I would love to confiscate a lot of Jeff Bezos' money and a nationalist socialist takeover. What? Why not? If I'm the beneficiary? Oh, you want to take his money?

Yeah. Oh, okay. I don't want other people to do it because I don't want the chaos, but if I am the agent of the chaos, then I'm safe. Right. You don't want the government to take his money. You want his money. Look, I want his money.

I don't want the chaos in the streets if I'm not involved in it. But if I'm the leader of it, yeah, I want his money. I'll take his money under the guise of morality and workers' rights for sure. I've been learning a lot about uh czar nicholas and his family you know it's very interesting how everyone views it as this tragic thing so this is where propaganda in like american propaganda actually is true right because i always learned about it oh the bolsheviks, these evil people came. Tsar Nicholas was a fucking Jew murdering program initiating.

Wait, wait. Set this up for the GED recipients in the audience. Yeah. Okay. So Russia was run for a couple hundred years by the Romanov family. Okay. They were Tsars. Tsar is a Russian word for Caesar. They all were just trying.

Everyone's trying to be Roman emperors. Same with the Kaiser in Prussia. Kaiser is a German word for Caesar They all were just trying Everyone's trying to be Roman emperors Same with the Kaiser in Prussia Kaiser is a German word for Caesar Right? Thousand year Reich It's all because Rome stayed for a thousand years And it was these fucking dictator Feudalistic

You know Kings Who ran shit And in Russia It was the Romanov family And the last czar Was the czar Nicholas II With his German fucking wife

His German whore wife What was her name? Christine or Katerina Or whatever German Nazi name it was And He was the last czar So he was murdered

By the Bolsheviks His whole family They killed the kids All the girls And then Anastasia got away And then there's all these movies about anastasia or people saying they were anastasia because i guess they didn't find the body of one of the daughters and um so he's the one who got in bed with rasputin you know rasputin you've never heard of rasputin i told you the crazy guy with the long hair Who like The mystic Right yeah go ahead

The mystical monk Uh huh the mystical monk So Anyway Um So you always hear about like Oh I feel so sorry for this family

It was like a violent revolution I thought his name was Gandalf That was from the movie I think yeah He could have been based on Rasputin But it's always cause like You had to hate the Bolsheviks, right? And the Bolsheviks, they did some killing. But the Bolsheviks were being fucking massacred.

Like all the revolution. So Russia industrialized. The workers were fucking eating shit. He sent them to war. He went to war with Austria and Germany. And he was losing. He went to war with Austria and Germany And he was losing He went to war with Japan They were losing that

He's just sending these fucking soldiers to the meat grinder And he's trying to have a son so he can have an heir He doesn't want to reform All the other countries in Europe are reforming with democracies They're getting rid of their kings Or they're like the kings are appointing Prime ministers And all that shit He doesn't want to do that

So he's like an old He's living in the old world And the people are pissed And then he's Trying to have an heir Because he has all girls So he has A son

Finally But the son has hemoglobia Hematobia One of those diseases Where If you Like get bruised You can bleed and die

And it's a roman disease because some fucking these the royal families of europe are so fucking inbred that it all comes back to it all goes back to queen victoria she was she had the gene for hemophilia whatever it's called hematomia hemophobia whatever it's called and so it just spread into all these royal families in all these countries because they all you know the wife was from germany she was a royal family from germany they all did that she didn't even speak russian she had to learn russian but she was the she was the queen of russia and that happened for hundreds of years where the royal families would just intermarry because it would like unite kingdoms and they were all inbred so all these royal

families had kids that would just bleed to death, right? If they got a bruise. It happened all the time. So he had a son, but the son, it's comical in history. The son, so he finally gets this heir to protect the throne

and keep the czars going for Mother Russia. But the kid has fucking hematobia. So they got to keep it secret so and no it's not curable so they keep it secret and then the dumb bitch wife from germany fucking what gets this monk who's rasputin who's just this cult leader he's he's a he's he's fucking chrystalia i mean he's he has a cult and he's banging all these chicks and he drinks but he tricks all these people into making them think he has these mystical powers because he's got these crazy, nice eyes,

blue eyes, and he just fucks these chicks. He fucks everybody. And they invite him into the fucking, into the palace. And he puts his hand on the kid and they think that he's healing the kid.

So then the people start finding out about Rasputin. And then he becomes the de facto ruler of Russia. Because he has such an effect on the queen. The queen loves her. And the people want him out. All the politicians want him out. Because they see what kind of grip this peasant from Siberia, who's a crazy monk, is having on the royal family. But they think they need him because he's keeping their son alive.

It's this crazy, unsustainable thing that they were trapped in. So the czar kicks him out, but then invites him back in because the son gets sick. And so they invite him back in. The kid gets mysteriously better. So there's that thing. thing did he have mystical powers a lot of people now say he just calmed down the queen which helped and also told them to have the kid stop taking aspirin which acts as a blood thinner makes him bleed more so whatever whatever was happening it seemed that the king and queen were convinced that Rasputin was keeping their kid from dying. And then that ended up being their downfall. The people started resenting him. The queen was writing him, and it sounded romantic.

I miss putting my head on your shoulder. So then those letters got leaked, and they were printed in the press. And so he became famous. Everyone knew about Rasputin. They were making jokes that he was banging the queen, this German foreign queen. And then Russia went to war with Germany and she's a German queen

and she didn't want to go to war. And they knew that, but the czar did because he had to. And then the Bolsheviks murdered the entire family. But they were fucking insane, inbred assholes who were setting up programs,

blaming Jews. he did the whole thing where inflation was high he blamed it on the jews he rounded up the jews he was killing jews um he had there was a bloody sunday where he just massacred all these uh protesters he's he's killing thousands of his own people and but when you learn history in american school you're like uh these dirty bolsheviks went and murdered these little girls it's like yeah the little girls were innocent but what can you do you know it's like they were a fucking evil family from a previous era and the workers were rising up and the world was changing and and so you kind of look when you find out what kind of a

fucking dirtbag this guy was you kind of go like i'm kind of on the bolshevik side it was a vibe shift it was a it was a vibe shift like the way it was a vibe shift it was a fucking vibe shift dude it was a vibe shift that he was late to sort of like a stand-up comic from the 90s it was like dude you didn't get the vibe shift we went digital and a lot of podcasters that do podcasting, it's a vibe shift. People are just not as into it. It's a vibe shift happening. We went from being tolerant of Jews to not. It's a vibe shift.

We going from woke comedy to Nazi comedy. It's a fucking vibe shift, dog. Get with the vibe shift. Alright, want to give a shout out to ExclusiveAutooshipping.com If you're moving your car out of state Or you bought your car out of state

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But he's currently working on his own plate carrier, which carries the body armor. So a bag for the body armor. He does have military surplus, which is military packs and load bearing equipment, magazine holsters and stuff like that. I mean, you know know he's the best if you're up to no good you can shop the rebels raider but if you are up to good as well yeah if you're defending our liberty yeah if you're defending our liberty or you're a good guy with a gun or if you're just traveling at the fucking airport that's what i use my bag for it's a great bag so he also has custom-made shirts on the website. I'm getting a fucking shirt. I'm wearing it proudly.

Large? I told him you're a large. Huh? I told him you're a large. Yeah, I would try large or extra large. Oh, you want to get it? Probably extra. Oh, you're an extra large? Yeah, I think so. I'm a large. When it shrinks. You're a large? Large. Tell him to send a large and an extra large. He can't afford one extra shirt. Alright. Yeah, we'll get two large

as an extra large. If you're positive, you're large. I'll do it. But look, does he have the backpacks up ready yet or not? Not yet. So he's still out of... You gotta get back in stock with the fucking backpacks. Doesn't hit. I mean, here you are sending fucking plate carriers. How many... The only people you're gonna be speaking to are school

shooters and fucking vigilantes. Where is the backpacks, man? Okay? You got to have the goods. That thing is incredible, dude. I fit so much in that fucking backpack. I want to steal Jesse's.

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